#unfortunate fucking name be upon ye ! ur gonna have to live with a name

[genocat]

this one iterator OC i never post because his trauma is too fucking severe for anyone to even be able to comprehend in one sitting

[enby-enderdragon]

Dude please tell me abt ur mc worldbuilding

Mx Elliott Whycraft, my beloved, I would give you the biggest hug right now if I could

Okie, okie, so its mostly just a pantheon of gods that I’ve made, but I do also have some ideas for, like, holidays and things that would happen on those holidays and things that certain followers of certain deities would do, but I digress. I’ll just tell you about the deities I chose mostly since I don’t wanna be too rambly. I can save the other details for other asks if people really wanna know about that. This is gonna go under a cut bc this might end up being a long post. Like I said, unfortunately for you guys, I’m very autistic and religion worldbuilding is a special interest of mine.

Uhhhhh, warning, possibly some bits that could be considered Slimecicle Cinematic Universe spoilers if you haven’t seen “The HARDEST Minecraft Difficulty” yet??

So, the first deity I chose, of course, is DreamXD, shortened down to XD. He’s the big king of the gods and he has the epithet of “the Prime” since he’s one of the bigger and more worshipped deities in the pantheon. Things like Church Prime in the DreamSMP and Techno’s channel member bell fall under his domain. XD is specifically the god of order and life so, as mortals began to worship the pantheon, it felt natural for XD to rise to the position of God King. XD is also the protector of the Dragon’s Realm. It’s his job to make sure that, if the Enderdragon ever has to die, that she is only killed A) she absolutely has to be because he’s very attached to his Dragons and B) he always makes the the Dragon has a successor.

The second deity I chose was Drista. No one is really sure how old Drista is, not even the other gods, because she’s the goddess of chaos, so she’s XD’s counterpart and has to have been around since the first chaotic thing happened in the mortal plane, but she appears very young compared to the other gods and she’s referred to in the mortal scriptures with the epithet of “the Young”. Drista falls under with the duty of being the protector of childhood and children in general, which only adds to her epithet. Aside from all that, she’s also the guide for souls of the dead into the Afterlife.

The third deity I chose was Grizzly. Now, a lot of mortal scripture about Grizzly was lost because his stories used to be burned when people would try to write them. A lot of people passed his stories around orally, but still, a lot of the scriptures were lost and mortals can’t truly now a lot about what happened with him. The biggest things that survived history of his stories is that he is the god of the forge and of mischief, but one day, he had a falling out with the other gods and they cast him out of the Pantheon Proper, which earned him the epithet of “the Fallen”. Nowadays, stories say that Grizzly is the King of the Damned, but no mortals know for sure exactly what that means.

The fourth deity is Condi. Condi is one of the oldest gods in the pantheon, even older than XD by millennium. Condi is the god of magick, so he was the deity that separated the Three Realms from each other. There’s rumors of a secret fourth realm that Condi uses as an escape from the other gods, but again, those are just rumors. No one has ever been able to craft a proper portal to this secret realm, but still, the realm of the Aether is mentioned too many times in scriptures for it to be a coincidence, right? Anyway, Condi also the Weaver of Fate, so, as you can imagine, he’s a very busy god. He has the epithet of “the Wise” because, if you’re gonna have this much shit going on as a god, you’ve gotta be wise.

The fifth deity is Bizly. Bizly, even by the other gods, is considered weak and useless, as he’s the god of animals and monsters. Most of the other gods will ignore him and couple of the other gods can be outright mean to him for no reason. This earned him the epithet of “the Dismissed”. Because of the way that the other gods treat him, Bizly took it upon himself to be the protector of the weak and underdogs. To mortals, he also become equivalent with the start of spring, so a lot of mortal stories call him the “bringer of new starts”.

The sixth deity is Foolish, of fucking course. He’s the god of storms and the seas and, even though his domains are usually very rough things to mortals, he himself is a very chill god (these days) and he doesn’t really interact with the other gods unless he ABSOLUTELY has to. He tends to spend most of his time as the protector of Mizu, a legendary city that is said to live under the deepest parts of the mortal oceans that houses only the most holy artifacts and important scriptures of the gods. There’s a specific rune that was created that is said to be a sigil of Foolish and it’s supposed to bring great wealth to a person if they draw it on themself. Foolish has the epithet of “the Undying” because I’m uncreative cgvhjbkgv

The seventh deity is Kristin, the goddess of death, because I have to. Again, she’s a goddess that doesn’t really like interacting with the other deities if she doesn’t have to. She tends to spend most of her time tending to the souls of the Afterlife, making sure everyone is happy and cared for and with their loved ones if they can be. The only deity that she has constant contact with is Drista, since the younger goddess helps her collect the souls of the dead. Kristin is known to take pity on a few souls that have no one every now and then and she’ll make them into angels and let them roam the mortal worlds again until they die and then they’re dead for real with no take-backs.

The eighth deity is Irene. She’s a very flighty goddess, not known to stick around in one place for long. As the protector of the Mortal Realm, she does her best to make sure that every mortal has a happy and healthy life on the earth. She’s typically the goddess of medicine and family in most portrayals of her scriptures, but there are a few places that will cast her as a more “dark” (using that word lightly because I can’t think of a better one) goddess of apathy and discord. Those mythos as that “darker” goddess are very rare, however. She has the epithet of “the Matron” and she’s the only recorded goddess to be referred to with the title of “Lady”. The other goddesses don’t seem to like that title.

The ninth deity is Herobrine. He’s the god of both the sun and the moon, so a lot of mortal legends say that the sun and moon are his glowing eyes and he’s watching over the mortals and he’ll punish any greedy or malevolent mortals. Because of that line of mythos, Herobrine earned the epithet of “the Watcher”. He’s known for collecting wayward souls that are stuck between Grizzly’s Damned Kingdom and Kristin’s Afterlife and he’ll make a wayward soul into an assistant of sorts to help him watch over the realm and punish mortals. Sometimes, his Watchers can get a little overzealous and will take in souls that aren’t ready yet, but Herobrine never forces a soul to stay if they don’t want to and lets them go back to the mortal realm.

The tenth and final deity is False. Yes, Miss False “Supremacy” Symmetry herself is a goddess. Specifically, she’s the goddess of war and blood. She, again, is a goddess that doesn’t much like the other gods and stays away from them as much as she can. In scripture, she’s never referred to by name because legends say that, if you speak her proper name, she’ll appear and kill your entire land or family or whatever. Most texts and stories refer to her either as “the Blood God” or by her epithet of “Animus”. She’s considered the herald of the winter months and she’s also the protector of the Nether Realm.

[cuinnamonbun]

Hi again! I got another HC idea. 😌

How would the brothers + angels react to a laidback Muslim MC whose also really violent? Like their mood switch flips instantly lmao

Aye, wassup friend! Regarding your ask, at this point you’re just describing ME lmao, somedays I really do just wake up and choose violence 😭 aite let’s do this 😎

The Demon Brothers + Angels Reacting to a Laidback Muslim!MC Turning Violent

Lucifer

At first this man loves MC and the amount of calm and composure that they have

Though he finds it irritating when he’s threatening them and they would just look up at him with the most dull expression on their face (like seriously human, you should be SCARED)

But still, with how chaotic his brothers are, he appreciates a collected and peaceful demeanour whenever he finds it and MC is breath of fresh air even if he won’t admit it

Silence with them always felt comforting and never awkward

One day, he noticed that MC was rather tense and rigid and had asked them if they were fine to which they replied yes through gritted teeth

Sensing that perhaps they were not in the best of moods, he let them go only to hear them politely ask Mammon to get out of their room

Of course our resident dumbass (affectionate) refused in an attempt to tease them, only to be YEETED from the room and into the hallway where Lucifer was standing with a bewildered look on his face

MC was standing by the door with a dark look in their eyes and the most sinister looking scowl that could rival Satan’s before they slammed the door shut in their faces

When he finally got over his shock, he would be extremely, extremely enthused

He will now spend his free time trying to rile up MC just so he can see them lose their temper again

He couldn’t help himself. He knew that Islam emphasises heavily on the virtues of patience as a sign of piety and so he just assumes that MC would just,,,,never yield to anything

This is when he realises he has a corruption kink ok sorry not sorry

May or may not pop a boner if/when he succeeds and they blow up (not literally) in his face

Mammon

He adores this human. Partly because he’s head over heels in love with them he hardly has anyone to drag with him along with his schemes and this human just seems to be down for anything, and mostly because they’re always so coolheaded

It allows him to pull off his plans without a hitch because MC’s composure allows them to be able to think up a quick solution whenever the two of them inevitably face a brick wall during one of Mammon’s schemes

With them around, Mammon would be 15% richer than he would be if he went alone so he’s keeping them around thank u very much

The first time he witnessed them turn violent is when the two of them were hanging out in his room when Levi bursted in, screaming his head off about how Mammon stole his wallet (he didn’t) and that the limited edition Ruri-chan collection was dropping soon in 24 hours and yada yada yada

And when he found out that Mammon didn’t, in fact, steal it, Levi wouldn’t apologise, oh no no no no. Rather, he would proceed to insult and degrade his brother until MC finally have had enough and went. off.

Seriously, the two demons were so shocked that the usually chill human was now on their feet and threatening to ‘deck Levi over the head WWE style if he didn’t quit it with the insults’ that the two brothers just stopped arguing

If Mammon weren’t so astounded, he would’ve found the whole thing hilarious because here is one of the rulers of Hell, turning white as a sheet as he is being cussed out by a small, furious human

After their long-winded (and frankly terrifying) speech that were riddled with not-so-subtle threats, Levi mumbled an apology and quickly shuffled out of the room with his tail between his legs and MC just plopped back down on his couch with their usual dull expression back on their face as if they didn’t just go on a tirade just seconds prior

Mammon’s love for the MC increased tenfold right then and there

Leviathan

Oh, you’re really quiet and laidback? Cool.

He doesn’t really care about it but he does enjoy having them around during his gaming sessions or when he needs a buddy to watch anime with him because they’re the only ones who would listen to him prattle on about theories and endings whilst enjoying the game/anime

He also vents to them A LOT and is the first person he seeks whenever he’s annoyed or frustrated by his brothers

He was heading over to the living room for movie night with his brothers and MC when he found his brothers all bickering with one another (no shocker there) and MC sitting on the couch reading a hard cover book

Of course, once they saw him enter, he was immediately dragged into the argument about which movie they were gonna watch

Now as the otaku of the family, Levi’s pretty very vocal and highly opinionated about the type of film they should watch for movie night and he dislikes it whenever someone would argue with him on his choice of film

So when Satan told him to his face that his movie selection sucked and he should just leave his input out, Levi would be so, so, SO offended and upset which was evident from his expression alone

Before he could defend himself though, a book suddenly went hurtling through the air and hit Satan right in the middle of his forehead like a bullseye

At first Satan was FURIOUS but it quickly died down when all the brothers finally realised where the book had come from: MC’s direction

They all turned to see an irritated look on their usually placid face and dominant arm raised as if they’d just thrown a shot put

“Oops. My hand slipped,” they said monotonously before sauntering away from the now-quiet living room

Levi is now cautious of accidentally angering MC, but he can’t help that moe feeling that MC actually threw that book in his defense

Satan

As the Avatar of Wrath, Satan is extremely attuned to people’s rage and MC is no different

He was honestly the only one out of his brothers who wouldn’t be surprised if one day MC woke up and chose violence

I mean, he usually keeps his wrath under wraps, hiding it well with an easy smile and friendly demeanour and he could tell that MC was the same

He knew that no one human could ever have that high amount of patience, especially when dealing with his brothers, doesn’t matter if they’re religious or not

In fact, he was waiting for the day he would finally see them snap and release all the pent up rage he knew they bottle carefully within themselves

Of course it happened when Asmo would not stop pestering MC about going to the club

As MC is a Muslim, it’s not a surprise that they’re against going to places like clubs, casinos or bars

Usually MC was able to tune out Asmo’s pleas like white noise but it was when Asmo turned to physically dragging them that became the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back

The poker-faced MC now looked more like an Avatar of Wrath than Satan himself

Satan only watched in amusement as MC dug their heels in the pavement, cradled a confused Asmo’s face in their hands...and pulled his cheeks with a bright smile and the most ominous look in their eyes before telling him ‘fuck off before I proceed to give all of ur prized makeup and skincare for Mammon to sell and use our pact to make u watch as he earns his cash’ in the sweetest way possible

Asmo no longer pesters them to join him clubbing

Satan: I’d just like to say, I’m your biggest fan

Asmodeus

Asmo loves loves LOVES having this human around because they always let him use them as his own personal doll

That means impromptu fashion shows in his room, makeovers, spa days, mani-pedis you name it

So he always assumed they were this paragon of patience and stoicism, never once losing their cool

The first time he saw them turn violent was when the two of them were walking down to the kitchen with Asmo chatting their ear off about some scandal this succubus has found herself in with these two demon best friends while they just listened and occassionally chiming in

When they reached the kitchen however, they found Beel by the kitchen, no shocker there

But MC had stopped dead in their tracks because right there in his hands was the chilled lemon soufflé that they’d been making for Lucifer (upon his request)

It’d taken them hours to perfect the dessert to Lucifer’s standards and they’d left it in the fridge to chill before serving it to him for tea time

So when Beel raised the now-empty glass to show to MC with a happy look on his face, it was enough to send them over the edge and scream bloody murder to the brothers’ surprise

Beel will apologise sheepishly but MC will force him to remake the dessert without letting him eat anything until it is perfect

It was torture for him and Asmo vows to never unintentionally set them off again because...holy shit MC

Beelzebub

Beel is a chill dude most of them time when he’s not hungry

All he wants is for his brothers to stay safe, happy and healthy and he’s a happy demon 🥺

He likes having a laidback MC around whether it’s during studying, snacking or even when he’s working out

Their presence is always so calming and comforting for him since their lax nature just reminds him so much of Belphie

The first time he saw them truly angry was when they’d found out that their favourite sweater that they brought back from the human world had been destroyed and discarded in the trash

As it turned out, Belphie had been rumaging through their room for something to snuggle with while MC had been away at Purgatory Hall and found their sweater

In an unfortunate string of events, a loose thread from the sweater had caught on the end of a door latch and the sleepy Belphegor hadn’t enough patience at the time to gently untangle it

Instead, he forcefully yanked it, causing the sweater to tear

Deciding that it’s better to just grab their blanket or something, Belphie discarded the article of clothing in the trash before stealing their blanket and stalking away to the attic for a nap

When MC found out, they. were. furious.

That means a lot of smashing, screaming and shouting until Beelzebub or Lucifer finally managed to calm them down

He’s sad that MC is so angry at his twin but he never wanted to see MC lose their temper like that ever again

Belphegor

Exam season was rapidly approaching at RAD and that means more assignments, quizzes and tests 

For the average student, it also means sleepless nights, mental breakdowns and consuming a concerning amount of caffeine

For Belphegor, he simply couldn’t give a shit

No amount of exams is scary enough to get his ass out of bed and study 

And like his other brothers, he assumed the same for MC

They always had that poker face on them as they studied and they never once argued or talked back to one of his brothers even though they were being so annoying and irritating (to him) and were clearly disturbing their revision time

He sees the hard work that they’re putting in their studies and reputation and even though they hide it behind a blasé mask, he knew they were exhausted

It was up to Belphegor to recognise their cues and force them to take breaks by napping with him

He was peacefully napping in the common room beside a studying MC, patiently waiting for their 25 minute break from their pomodoro session when Lucifer had walked in and begun to bark chores at them that even woke up the younger demon beside them

And to their surprise, rather than wordlessly carrying out his commands like the demons had expected them to, MC slammed their pen down on the coffee table and yelled at him

MC: you know what, Lucifer? Why don’t you take your ***** and ****** then shove it up your ****** and let’s not forget to *****, you little ***** ***** *****!!!

Belphegor had never been more proud and concerned for this little human who was far too brave for their own good

Simeon

It’s said by everyone who knew him that Simeon is always so calm and composed, always greeting everybody with a kind smile and gentle eyes

He never once loses his cool, but that doesn’t mean that he does not feel anger from time to time

Like Satan, Simeon is understanding of MC’s anger and would never reprimand them for blowing up

Anger is healthy after all

He has expressed concern before for MC’s mental wellbeing as they were far too patient for their own good

Of course, in all his years of living, he has seen remarkable humans with superhuman patience before like the Prophets Muhammad and Jesus (peace be upon them) but even that was because they had divine intervention 

The first time he saw them finally snap was when the two of them were enjoying a pleasant walk towards the House of Lamentation from RAD when Mammon and Levi appeared out of nowhere and began fighting again

It had been non-stop screaming, insulting and fighting with these two for almost three weeks now and MC was so, so, sooo close to yeeting them off the side of a cliff

Their composure finally snapped when Mammon and Levi had been roughhousing so close to them that they accidentally stepped on Simeon’s robe (or is it more of a cape?? idk) and tore a small hole in it

Simeon has never been more surprised to see MC roar at them and begin a stern lecture that reminded him so terribly of Lucifer

He was so amused that he couldn’t help but laugh when they forced the two to apologise to him before dragging them over to the House by their ears, completely ignoring their desperate cries for mercy 

It was a hilarious sight and he would’ve recorded that entire scene on his DDD if he weren’t so hopeless with technology

Luke

MY SONNN

Luke is reminded of Simeon when he first got to know MC

They were always so collected and level-headed even though they were thrown in Hell out of the blue for an exchange programme that lasts a whole year

He never understood how they could be so chill with living with 7 demons under one roof though like??? hello????? human are u functioning well?

But he likes having them around because they’re always so nice to him and always keen on spending time with him

Which is where he finally saw them snap

The two of them were carrying their cupcakes that they’d made for their picnic date alongside Simeon and Solomon and had left them on the table for a few minutes while they went to gather the rest of the supplies

They came back to see that the cupcakes had been ravaged by Mammon, Levi and Beel who all looked so pleasantly happy munching on their hard work

Luke was extremely distraught and upset over this and protective MC will NOT tolerate this kind of behaviour to their son

So using the power of the pacts, they forced the brothers to grovel at his feet and apologise by doing whatever Luke wants them to do

He wants a glass of water? LEVI GET UR ASS TO THE KITCHEN RN! He wants pizza? MAMMON U RUN UR CUT LIL BUTT TO HELL’S KITCHEN AND GET HIM A LARGE PIZZA STAT! He wants to be fed? BEEL U BETTER MOVE THAT FOOD FROM UR MOUTH SON AND FEED IT TO HIM ASAP!

Luke secretly enjoys it but he still can’t help but feel kinda bad for the brothers and slightly scared of MC now

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Debuff Zane Build

i am tired of not seeing this build in all the zane build videos i watch so im sharing it here because its stupid fun bc u run fast and kill faster. it’s not meta, but its fun as fuck and u have a lot of damage and survivability with it. I’ve completed M4 Slaughter Shaft with it- haven’t tried on M10 yet but i have faith. p.s its 4 am pls have mercy if there’s spelling mistakes.

what ur gonna need is a band of sitorak, zheitseiv’s eruption, a seein’ dead, and the piss grenade. everything else is fair game, whatever u want. try to get it to have the sntl cryo anoint bc good. but u must have the 4 main items for this to work perfectly (it also somewhat works with a low level Frozen Heart bc best shield in the game but you will die a lot more)

also i need a fucking name for this build help

oh god oh fuck i forgot i was playing through the handsome jackpot dlc again

oki im ready to party

this is my current loadout

sometimes i switch the reg Q-System for a kaoson or a nighthawkin if i need ammo (OP QSystem is... OP but not as fun as a tracking grenade QSystem so i don’t care for it) and maybe the brainstormer for a reflux if many shielded enemies (i prefer the brainstormer over the reflux atm. so try for a brainstormer!!)

3rd slot, that’s a monarch which used to be a dictator b4 it got a straight upgrade. I actually don’t use the bipod unless im in a boss fight and don’t need to move fast. usually violent momentum and violent violence cover the dps loss

ur first 3 gun slots honestly don’t matter much. I have my reasons for using them, but you can use whatever u want i think, so long as its a strong weapon (bc unfortunately a lot of weapons are not scaled for m10). u dont HAVE to use the monarch or the Q system or the brainstormer. I recommend them, cuz theyre fun, but u don’t gotta if u wanna swap em out for a a kaoson or a yellowcake or a sandhawk or smth

the last gun is my zheitsev’s eruption. This bad boy, when u reload, shoots out homing balls of debuffery. So every enemy that gets hit with these gets a debuff. I have tried this with the needler but I prefer Zheitsev’s bc it can hit more enemies and once and takes less time. this gun only goes to Blane (ur clone). 

for the skill trees we have no points in under cover even tho brainfreeze is the best skill in the gaaaaame

explanations: 

really the hitman tree is p self explanatory, u wanna go fast as fuck boiii. My band of sitorak does not have the +15 movespeed while zoomer is active anoint (it has the break shield amp anoint, which is p okay. want movespeed, but a nice human from the reddit gave me this sitorak so i didn’t have to farm). u want drone delivery bc Blane will NOT be throwing grenades. If you try to make him throw grenades with the seein’ dead he will ONLY throw grenades and never fire his gun, meaning he’ll never reload. it’s a nightmare. anyway. u want the piss grenade (ideally with the +25% damage on thrown anoint). im not looking forward to regrinding this when they finally mayhem buff grenades.

we put one point into playing dirty because we want those extra shots and honestly with the amount of times seein’ dead can proc ur kill skills you’ll have it more often than not

we also have points in good misfortune for that sweet sweet uptime (which btw can be infinite using the brainstormer/reflux bc it is essentially a redistributor without the need for ur barrier) the monarch/dictator also does it justice

for Blane u DON’T WANT praemuntis. we want blane reloading as often as gotdamn possible. now unfortunately my seein’ dead gave me a +weapon mag size roll (im actually not sure if this affects blane, but im assuming it does) but it does have the amazing +5 donnybrook so I’m taking it anyway. I am so not looking forward to regrinding a good class mod when they finally release action skill buffs for them. i cri. i actually hear 3 points in donnybrook and 2 in violent violence is p good (or 1 in violent violence 1 in playin dirty) so maybe grinding won’t be so bad. maybe i’ll finally get a +weapon damage roll

u can grab 1 point in ducttape mod and put 4 points into borrowed time if you want. it doesn’t really matter. i current have 5 in borrowed time and 3 in pocket full of grenades (for some reason??? usually i only put 2 in.). U can do that and use those extra points for either ducttape mod or more points in playing dirty. 

u NEED quick breather. This skill has a STUPID interaction with the band of sitorak shield because of how quickly it recharges. I’m talking, the instant you swap with Blane, you have full shields and so does he. It’s dumb, I love it. Use it to get out of trouble.

so im probably gonna need to explain why i have 3 points in trick of the light: im a cryo slut. That’s it. put those wherever you want, just make sure you can get Double Barrel. i’ve seen builds where people actually go for brainfreeze, i might try that next time i respec.

Double barrel will make it so blane can use the zheitsev’s eruption and debuff your enemies for you. it’s worth it.

so the augments u want are these:

SCHADENFREUDE. because band of sitorak has such a tiny capacity, ur shield is constantly up. If its not, it’s constantly breaking from full capacity. this does have a fun effect with the amp shield break anoint, but mainly i like it for the 25% damage buff whenever it breaks. its a tradeoff for damage, ur constantly swapping between max shields and more damage, so its actually p constant survivability and damage over the long run.

i grab doppelbanger bc blane sometimes gets stuck in the floor and/or i don’t feel like running all the way back. i wouldn’t recommend getting which one’s real or digital distribution only bc u want him alive as much as possible. u can also get binary system instead of doppelbanger, its up to you

for Zoomer u want bad dose for the movement speed and (sometimes) static field (only if the enemies have shields). this is so if blane goes down or he isn’t taking damage, zoomer can refill ur shields. if the enemies won’t have shields usually i grab winter’s drone or boomsday depending on how i feel.

im actually gonna try to see if i can’t grab brain freeze. hang on. i know trick of the light is frowned upon for most people so lemme just respec. (im sorry i just love the vibes it gives me it’s like HAHA you thought that was me? no!!! boop. and then they’re ice sculptures and man i love h2o i wish emma had frozen more people the only people she really freezes are Greg and Miriam and honestly she doesn’t even kill Greg smh. (Greg is dr denman’s assistant. greg is highkey god.) I do like what she did to Mirami, the fucking implications that YES these teenage girls ARE powerful enough to instakill people, they just don’t out of the kindness of their hearts. Rikki was badass that episode too. actually i love the episode where rikki almost boils a dude alive for making a fool of her with ILLEGAL F I S H and burns people using steam from a pipe. rikki is my favorite mermaid- she knew what was u p. I wish mako mermaids was as badass as h2o was. and the cartoon. god imagine the cartoon violence. sigh. let them use their op superpowers to be SUPERHEROES. like in h2o au i have baron flynt puppeteer people to their deaths from Thor bc he has cleo’s powers like why couldn’t she do that to someone. Like dr denman “lmao bye bitch” or even charlotte (who imho wasn’t bad until cleo started being rude to her. cleo was 100% at fault that season). it wouldn’t have killed her!!! ... instantly. probably. ive never seen avatar in full but i did watch the blood bending episode as a child and as i understand it that’s frowned upon but hey. CAN BELLA TURN PEOPLE INTO JELLY?? harry potter 🅱oneless arms... my god.)

anyway, respeccing. 

there goes all my money. rip.

so i think im gonna have to live with the slower reload speed (sob) but yes u can in fact get brain freeze with this build. lemme show...

so ye in the event u just can’t live without freezing people (i know the feeling) feel free to do this. imma play with this for a bit and see if i can live with slower reload. I actually depend on the 100% cryo with zoomer active for all my cryo damage. i also use an ice breaker so they freeze fairly easy (but only on mobs. on bosses u want the snowdrift or something else)

this build isn’t really meta and u might have trouble doing a solo run of true takedown on m10... bc its true takedown on m10, but honestly it’s fun as F U C K. you CAN do it, but it’s not no thoughts head empty like barrier-redistrubutor/yellowcake zane can be so u gotta be on TOP of ur SHIT. i love it. running around killing stuff. it’s fun. i also love teleporting. it’s my FAVORITE THING. I STILL GET GIDDY OVER IT BECAUSE IT’S SO FUN. ask my friends, they will tell you, sometimes i’ll just start gushing over how much fun it is to teleport even though i’ve played zane since release. just. GFDGHKJGDFK so much fun. i just... b o o p. god i love this game. i took a break to play assassin’s creed odyssey (fun sneaky beaky game, pretty awful dialogue) so DAMN i missed this. 

here’s a link to a video I took on athenas (my favorite area to run. it’s this game’s bloodshot stronghold!) this is the playlist i listen to while playing Zane. i keep swapping songs during play bc sometimes they don’t fit my vibe or i get tired of them lol (spotify control is hooked to my 4th and 5th mouse buttons so i don’t have to stop playing) i forgot where my shock sandhawk was in my inventory, is what i use to demolish traunt. i was so scared i threw it in my bank earlier on sanc-iii lol (also yes i still slap blane’s ass. it’s to encourage him to kill)

and here’s a link to the save + everything I had on me at the moment (including the stuff i picked up in the vid in case u want it lol) cuz im lazy and don’t feel like clearing out my inventory. some of these are only m4-9. which ones? it is a mystery. you’ll know when the new update releases ;) (no but actually im so hype for mayhem level on the item cards. finally. FINALLY!!!)

why is this video taking so long to upload. hynnnggggg

oh god is that the sun

[theentiregdtime]

Are you taking prompts beacuse I would love to read about Dennis getting angsty and jelous beacuse Mac is on a date or something(bonus points if he talks to Dee about it, I live for some good ol sibling-bonding) ur writing is wonderful btw💕💕

Mac has a date tonight.

He has a date and Dennis is absolutely livid.

Not that he’s mad about the date itself- no, no, he’s madbecause Mac has been lying to him for the entirety of the past three days.

“Who are you texting?” Dennis had asked him as he typedaway furiously on his phone, completely ignoring the McTiernan film they werewatching. Mac said it was Charlie, but that was suspicious- he was sending fartoo many words for Charlie to read; they almost exclusively communicatedthrough pictures and one-liners. He let it go and ground his teeth, listeningto the maddening sound of Mac’s thumbs tap-tap-tapping against the screen forthe rest of the movie.

The next day, Dennis suggested they try that new Thai place by their apartment for their monthly dinner, and that they should makereservations in advance. He knew Mac didn’t always like to try new restaurants,considering the dinner a holy ritual and not wanting to risk its sanctity, butDennis was floored when he flat-out said he couldn’t come. He’d used thatcautious, sing-song tone, too- and avoided eye contact as he told him he had togo see his mom that night. “It’s the same night every month, Mac, can you notvisit the woman another time? I mean, she doesn’t even like you!” Mac insistedon rescheduling anyways.

And today… today was the apex of it all. Today was thefucking crescendo to the three-day shit symphony. Mac had left his phone in theback office- unattended, for once- and Dennis definitely wasn’t snooping,because he doesn’t care about what Mac gets up to in his spare time. He was simply searching the desk for a marker to prove a point to Charlie about facial symmetry when a text lit up the screen…and it just so happened to catch his eye. It was from someone named Drew with ablack heart next to her name saying their reservation was moved to 7. It allhit Dennis at once- Mac texting nonstop, cancelling their plans, insisting ontaking the night off early- he had a date. He stood up their monthly dinner,their most sacred of traditions, for a goddamn date. He’d slipped out sometime around five-thirty, without somuch as a goodbye, leaving the rest of them to tackle the evening rush understaffed.

Granted, the evening rush consists of about six downtroddenchain smokers and an older couple that frequents to sleep in the booths, butstill!

Dennis leans onto the bar and takes a swig of his beer. Hesnarls in the back of his throat, half because he’s fuming at Mac and halfbecause his drink has gone sickeningly warm.

“Dude, you gotta stop that,” Charlie whines as he cleans chewedgum from underneath the counter, stowing the remnants in his pocket for somereason, “you sound like a dying cat.”

Before he can defend himself, Dee resurfaces with a tray ofempty glasses. She has a couple of crumpled bills sticking out of her pocket,which she uses like seed money, to make it seem as if she’s tippable. It’spathetic.

“Aww,” she teases with a childish sneer on her face, “didsomeone get stood up for their little dinner date?”

Dennis lets a long, exasperated sigh through clenched teeth.“Fuck off, Dee.”

“Whoa,” she replies, still laughing, with mockingly wideeyes. “Someone’s jealous.”

Charlie cuts in. “If you’re, like, lonely or something,Frank and I could come over and watch-”

“No, goddamn it!” Dennis shrieks and throws his hands in theair. “I am not jealous, all right? I do not care with whom Macchooses to consort in his spare time! As a matter of fact, I’m happy to havethe apartment to myself for once. It’s the charades I can’t stand. Theguy comes out of the closet every third Tuesday and goes right back in, gallivantingabout with women like he’s James fucking Bond! I don’t know about you, but Ifor one, am sick and tired of it.”

“Well, maybe it’s not-”

“Why do you care?” Dee talks over Charlie. “If he’shappy straight pride paradin’ around, then I say let him do it.”

“Because it is goddamn ridiculous, Dee!” Dennis counters.He’s been dealing with this for the past twenty years and he’s about reachedhis limit- the bullshit meter is almost to the top of his head- and he has morethan earned the right to be annoyed. “He brings loose women home, flaunts themaround in front of me like I’m to be impressed by his romantic prowess,pretends to enjoy making love to them, and for what? Because he can’t commit tobeing gay? Because a nonexistent god will send lightning down upon him to smitehim? It is absolutely absurd!”

Charlie and Dee share a look, and Dennis doesn’t know what itmeans, but he does know that he wants to hit them both across the facewith one good, honest backhand slap.

“So crash the date! Steal his girl! Ya’ know, cuck him!”Frank, suddenly at the bar and hoisting himself onto a stool, says much tooloudly. Luckily, their weeknight crowd is too busy drowning themselves in theirown sorrows to take notice. “Deandra keeps track of us on her pager.”

“I do not-”

“You stalk our locations, Dee, really?” Dennis questions. “Nowthat is just pathetic.”

“How… How do you do that?” Charlie wonders, starting to patat the back of his neck. “Like, with a chip or…?”

“No, see, what Frank is implying,” he explains, “is thatSweet Dee here watches us on her phone, everywhere we go, so she can livevicariously through us and make believe she has a personal life while she watchesLifetime movies and eats a family-size cheesecake by her lonesome. It’s justsad.”

“Hey, don’t take this out on me, bitch, I’m not the one whostood you up!” Dee yelps in a voice like an irate chihuahua. “Besides, Charlie,I can never see you, anyways.”

“He keeps his phone at home,” Frank says, chewing an oliveopen-mouthed like a horse, “in a bag of rice.”

“Well, maybe if you stopped taking it to the sewers, itwouldn’t get wet,” she suggests.

“Wet? I’m trying to keep it safe! If- If my apartmentgets robbed, they’re not gonna steal a bag of jambalaya!”

“You- You keep it in cooked rice?”

“Would you all shut up?!” Dennis shouts and slams his handsdown on the counter, rattling the empty glasses. He is at his wit’s end, and ifhe has to listen to this conversation a minute longer, his migraine is going topop his eyeballs out of his head. When he speaks again, his voice is level. “Fine.Let’s do it.”

Dee raises an eyebrow. “You want to crash Mac’s date?”

“Yes. Not because I care,” he clarifies, “but becauseI can’t play this game with him anymore. I am going to put a stop to this onceand for all.” Finishing off the last of his beer, he jams a finger in Frank andCharlie’s direction. “You two: no inventions, no possums, no dinner theatre-nothing except bartending and breathing.”

Charlie raises a hand. “What about-”

“No glue-eating contests, either, buddy.”

He puts his arm down with a pout.

“Let’s go, Dee. You’re driving.”

She scoffs in offense. “What? Why am I driving? Whyam I even going?”

“Well, what if they move around? You’re the stalker, I needyou on my team.” Dennis flits a hand around the room, out over their dominionof drunken singles and slumbering elderly. “It’s not as if you’re making tips.”

Besides, he knows she enjoys crap like this. She can pretendshe doesn’t care about the rest of them all she wants, claim she simply wantsto be left alone, but Dennis knows her better than anyone and he knows she likesto be included. He knows she lives for drama.

As expected, she resigns herself with a “fine” and followshim out of the pub.

—–

“Dee, truly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart…Your music is the goddamn worst.”

They have listened to three Hole songs in a row, all ofwhich are essentially the same song, about scorning men and rejectingthe norms of society- none of which Dee, who bases her self-worth upon ratingsand the male gaze, can relate to in any way. Besides, the guitar sounds likeit’s in a fish tank.

Dennis would have driven himself, but unfortunately, heneeds Dee as his accomplice tonight. 

Plus, it’s good that he doesn’t have to dothis alone. It’s good to have the company… not that he’ll ever say that aloud.

“I’m doing you a favor, you boner,” she replies, but there’sno malice in it. In fact, she kind of sounds like she’s enjoying herself.

Again, Dee is fond of a good revenge plot. What else wouldshe be doing right now, if not for this, anyhow? Impressions of celebrities fortips? A reality TV marathon in her bathrobe? This has to be the height of hersad, lonely, joyless night.

She’s very skilled at the whole vengeance thing, too.Sometimes her schemes shock even Dennis. It’s always been that way, ever sincethey were children. Dee would whip out a notebook and map out a meticulously-plottedrevenge plan while Dennis simply went along for the ride (and chickened out,half of the time, because he didn’t want to upset their mother or get into trouble). That’s something else he won’t tell her out loud, that he’simpressed with- and often disgusted by- her work.

“Well, are we almost there?” he complains, tapping hisfingernail against the door to the growling music and watching pedestriansthrough the window.

Dee glances at her phone. “Chill out, it’s after the nextlight.”

Wait…

Dennis raises his head, casting a suspicious glanceto the GPS, then back to the road in front of them.

“No…” he mutters to himself.

Sure enough, it is.

When they make the turn and pull up outside of therestaurant, it’s the fucking Thai place Dennis told Mac about just yesterday.He stole the idea from him! He’s having dinner, on their night, at a newrestaurant he was fully aware Dennis wanted to try, with some randomfloosy. Dennis should be the floosy! He should be drinking SangSom and eatingcoconut shrimp! He should be there, because it’s their goddamn monthlydinner, it is their night, and Mac wouldn’t have even known this place existedif not for him!

Oh, he is so furious, he could just scratch him…

“That impertinent son of a bitch!”

“Yeah, I kinda thought they’d be at, like, Taco Bell-”

“It’s not that!”

Dennis takes a moment, sighing through pursed lips, steadyinghis rage, then turns to face his sister.

“We were supposed to have dinner here! This wassupposed to be our reservation! Then this Drew woman comes along-”

“Wait, Drew-”

“And soils the entire thing! Our whole rhythm is broken. Wewon’t be able to have a proper dinner for months now, the vibe is all wrong.”

Dee scrunches her face up at him, like she does when he’snot making any sense, but he is making sense, he’s making more sensethan he’s ever made!

“Couldn’t you just do your little bros night out tomorrow?Or the next day?” 

Dennis rolls his eyes. What a ludicrous question.

“It’s not about the schedule, Dee,” he says, waving hishands around wildly, “it’s about the mood. Our dynamic is going to be off untilat least November.”

There’s a moment of silence between them, no sound in thecar but the radio blaring angry chick music.

“So… what if they go on another date?” Dee eventually asks.She looks like she knows she shouldn’t, even before the words leave her mouth.“Like, what if this is a relationship thing?”

Relationship, that’s so ridiculous. This is all alittle scheme to tick Dennis off or get revenge on him for something he’salready forgotten doing, and it’ll be over by the end of the week. He doesn’twish to wait that long, though, so he’s simply ending it tonight. Besides, heshould be the one seeking retribution. He’s the one who was robbed ofhis periodic dining experience.

“This is all a little song-and-dance for Mac to prove onceagain that he’s heterosexual, or perhaps it’s a plot against me, but what it’scertainly not is a relationship.”

Dee’s eyes drift to the crowded restaurant behind him for a beat, then settle on his face, not quite looking directly at him.

“Then why is he here without you, Dennis?”

Because…

Well, perhaps he didn’t expect Dennis to show up duringdinner, but afterwards, he would have surely brought his “date” back to theapartment and made grand theatrics of it.

“Damn it, Dee, I will get to the bottom of this if it takesall night.”

Dennis unbuckles his seatbelt and throws open his door,stomping out onto the sidewalk.

“Yeah, I’m leaving you in an hour, cockmunch.”

—–

Getting past the hostess is easy enough. Dee nearly attemptsto disguise herself as an employee, but that is an awful idea and an absolutewaste of time, so Dennis simply puts on the charm and insists they’re meetingsome business associates. He keeps his head up high and waltzes pastthe booth into the restaurant before the woman can stop him. It’s all about theconfidence. If you look like you know what you’re doing and where you’resupposed to be, no one is sure enough or cares enough about their job to callyou on it.

He keeps a hand on Dee’s shoulder to guide her around beforeshe ends up donning a fake mustache and sneaking in as a waiter. They have toappear as if they know where they’re going, as if they’re with one of thesegroups, so they can’t wander around too much.

Mac will likely be in a booth. Dennis himself preferstables, and always insists they get one (sketchy diners at two in the morningexcluded), but Mac likes booths because he enjoys kicking his feet up andlounging around like he’s on the damned sofa at home. He is a classless savage.

The place isn’t too big, but it’s crowded- it takes them allof six minutes to track Mac down.

And when they do…

“Oh.”

That’s all Dennis can say.

He softens all at once and his shoulders drop, handsstilling at his sides. All of the fight in him goes limp.

Mac…

Mac is on a date.

With a guy.

“Dennis…” Dee says cautiously, reaching out to place a hand onhis back. She’s tentative with him, not like she’s afraid of him or thinks he’llhave an outburst, but like she’s sure if she talks too loudly or touches himtoo solidly, he’ll shatter like breakaway glass. It’s as if she thinks he’s fragile.“I’m sorry.”

Dennis’ unblinking eyes don’t leave Mac’s table. He can’tlook away from the anxious tension in Mac’s shoulders, the playful grin onhis lips, the way his face lights up when he laughs, the way he inches his handacross the table, the way his foot bounces excitedly against the floor…

It’s like watching a horror movie play out in front of him,but instead of a topless woman getting axed in the spine, he’s powerless tostop Mac from falling victim to happiness.

“For what?” he mumbles softly. He’s not sure the words comeout at all.

“I’m sorry that it’s real.”

Real… Please.

He hardly knows this guy. Sure, they’ve been texting backand forth for a couple of days, but that’s nothing compared to twenty years.It’s nothing deserving of standing Dennis up.

It sinks in that Mac cancelled on him for an actual date,and somehow that’s worse than if he’d paid a sex worker to spend the eveningwith him. It feels like a Shakespearean betrayal and stupid Drewbreaking a spring roll in half and passing Mac the rest is the blade against Dennis’ throat.

He tries feeling nothing and it doesn’t work. He triesrage and it doesn’t quite fit, either. He settles on jealousy and it’s like a glove.

A newfound wave of determination washes over him as heremembers himself and turns to Dee.

“I can still ruin this,” he decides, knowing he can still seduceMac’s date if he has to. Oh, no one has any idea how far he’ll go for revenge.

Dee takes a good, long look at the two of them laughingabout something on a chili sauce bottle like they’ve known each other foryears.

“Okay, but… why?”

Dennis tries to find a reason, but they’re all gone now.Everything he preached earlier on how this was about denial and cowardice andstagecraft… It’s all off the table. He racks his brain for a reason why thisburns at him so hotly, why he still wants to crash this, why he still wants todestroy it for Mac right in front of him, and settles on the inconvenience ofit.

“Because it’s going to be even worse. Mac pretending tosleep with a woman for a couple of nights is one thing, but having arelationship? Bringing a date back to our apartment? Letting him use ourshower? Having to hear about this man, day and night? I will not be a part ofthat, Dee.”

“So, just to clarify, Mac is never allowed to have arelationship as long as he lives with you?”

Dennis nods. “That’s the idea.”

“Sure, that’s fine, that’s healthy. That’s a perfectlynormal way for a grown man to think. Nothing weird about that at all.”

“Just shut up and follow me.”

He starts off towards the table before Dee can protest.Thankfully, she falls into step behind him instead of making a scene andblowing the entire thing.

By the time Mac’s date has noticed him, Dennis is faking awide, friendly grin that he’s certain looks charming, and not at alllike an enraged chimp suppressing its rage.

“What a coincidence!” he exclaims, struggling to maintain hishoney-sweet cadence.

Mac jumps at the sound of his voice as if it were arattlesnake’s hiss. His fight or flight response seems to activate before heeven looks at Dennis- muscles tensing, hands squirming, eyes going wide, breathcatching. When he cranes his neck to meet Dennis’ gaze, he’s making a face likehe’s been caught stealing.

It’s fitting, he supposes. He did steal something. Hestole the pleasure of their monthly dinner right out from under Dennis, stolethe music and the dark liquor and the conversation and the rice noodles andoffered it all up to somebody else, to some absolute stranger. He shouldbe mortified.

“I…” is all that escapes his dumb, floundering mouth.

Dennis takes the liberty of explaining for Drew’s sake.

“My sister and I just happened to be having dinner with somefriends,” -he gestures to no table in particular- “and who do we see?” Claspinghis hands together, he turns to Mac with less of a smile than a warning snarl.“Won’t you introduce us, Mac?’

“This is…” -Mac clears his throat, eyes darting between thethree of them, looking for a way out but finding none- “my date.”

“Drew,”’ the man says, clearly confused but holding out hishand regardless.

Dennis takes it and squeezes tight as he shakes, really putshis shoulder into it. A handshake says a lot about a man, a lot about histrustworthiness and virility and how much power he can generate, and Dennis hassomething to prove.

He doesn’t see what all the fuss has been about, these past fewdays. The guy is nothing to text home about. Sure, he’s passable, perhaps evenconventionally attractive, but his smile is too gummy, his jawline is toodefined, his toned arms are all deltoid and no bicep, and what is he wearing? Acheckered shirt? In a Thai restaurant? Any self-respecting man would know thepatterns clash.

“Dennis Reynolds. I own the bar Mac works at, which surely,he’s told you much about.” He rests a hand on Mac’s shoulder, who startles athis touch. “I also own our apartment. And our bank account. And our car. But…”-he chuckles, humorless, and it immediately fades into a straight stare-“mostly the bar.”

“He’s my… roommate,” Mac mumbles sheepishly.

Drew squints at him for a second, then pointsin Dee’s direction. “And you are?”

“Hungry,” she jokes, snorting in laughter at herself,and Dennis boils a little inside. Before he can say anything else, her talonsare in his arm, spinning him in the opposite direction. “We should be gettingback to our meal. You guys enjoy your date, or whatever people say.”

Dennis tries to stand his ground, but Dee’s fingernails inhis flesh are so painful that it takes all of his strength to keep from screaming.She drags him into an empty booth before he can stop her.

“What the hell?” he whispers through gritted teeth. “Whatare you doing, Dee?’

“You’re being a real dick wart, Dennis,” she chastises him.“Look, I know you want to throw your little trust fund fuckboy alpha maletantrum, but you’re freaking Mac out. I mean, look at him.”

Dee gestures towards Mac, who is still watching them acrossthe restaurant, eyes like a deer in the headlights, as his date talks to theside of his head.

“Besides, I thought you were gonna do the cucking thing. Youwere acting like Mac’s husband or some shit.”

“I was not,” Dennis insists and cups his handstogether. “I told no lies. I was simply emasculating Mac in front of his date.I mean, who wants to have dinner with a man who can’t drive himself or controlhis own finances?’

Dee narrows her eyes and rolls her teeth over her lip,analyzing him like she’s not sure he’s serious.

“Um, you?”

“Wh-” He scoffs in disbelief. How incredulous of her, thoseare two completely different types of dinners. “I am not-”

Before he can say something for himself, a waitress is atthe end of their table. She looks perplexed, presumably wondering why theyhaven’t been served yet, but retains the smile on her face.

“Do you guys need anything to drink, or…?”

“Can you not see that we’re having a conversation?!” Dennissnaps.

“Yeah, bitch, we’ll get drinks when we’re good and ready!”Dee backs him up.

The waitress rolls her eyes and walks away.

“I mean, it’s fucking rude.”

“Completely unacceptable.”

“She saw us talkingand she just waltzed right up like she was part of it!”

“I’m sorry, Dee, I had no idea the service here was soterrible.”

Dee frowns and glances at the kitchen door the womandisappeared behind.

“I kinda do want a drink, though,” she says.

“Yeah, I’m pretty thirsty…”

It’s quiet for a minute. There are forks scraping and platesclattering and incessant, mindless chatter all around them, but it’s quiet attheir table. Dee picks at the finishing on the glass with her fingernail,peeling it off. Dennis watches the pieces flick onto the floor and wonders whathe’s going to do if this is a long-term situation, if he has to live inproximity to this weak-handshaked stranger all the time, has to tolerate himday in and day out. The thought of having someone digging through he and Mac’sfridge, using their bathroom, taking up space on their couch… it’s annoying.

The thought of that person sharing a bed with Mac, eatingout of the same bowl of popcorn as him, wrapping a hand thoughtlessly aroundhis waist in the kitchen while he makes coffee, kissing him on the cheek asthey cuddle under a blanket…

Annoying isn’t the right word for the way those things feel.They don’t sting at his nerves and tense his muscles like annoying things do.Instead, the mental image sits at the pit of Dennis’ stomach with everythingelse he’s buried over the course of his life. It’s a different animal entirely.It’s…

He doesn’t know why, but it feels like losing a sure handhe’s bet all his chips on.

“You want me to take you home?”

Dennis observes Mac, who still looks nervous, but has fallenback into the swing of his conversation.

“No,” he mumbles.

Dee lets out a short, resigned sigh.

“You want to be fuck up his date?” she offers.

Drew (stupid name for a guy, by the way, just commit to thefull Andrew) rests a hand on Mac’s arm and Dennis’ stomach collapses intoitself like a house of cards.

“Thought you were doing the high road thing,” he answers, “youknow, like a superior bitch.”

She huffs through her nose like a bull, but the loud, enragedresponse never comes. Instead, her voice is gentle, as if breathing on ahair trigger.

“I didn’t realize what this was about,” she says.

Dennis raises and eyebrow and turns back to her, slowlytrying to process what the hell she’s referring to. He can’t figure it out, andhe can’t think of a way to twist it into an insult, either, so he just stares.

“Don’t look at me like that, you skid mark,” Dee spits,sounding a little more like herself. “I’m not having this fight with you again.Look, here’s what you do…”

—–

Ding ding ding ding!

Dennis taps a knife against a wine glass, both of which he’sswiped from an unobservant old couple, and the tinny sound echoes through therestaurant until everyone in the room falls silent.

Mac is looking at him like he’s got a bomb strapped to hischest. The fear and embarrassment in his eyes is almost humiliating enough torectify this entire situation- almost, but not enough.

He clears his throat.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I’m standing here tonight because… Imade a mistake. And I want to fix it.”

Dennis smiles at Mac, who gawks nervously at him. He putsthe sweetest, sappiest, cheesiest look on his face that he can muster, justknowing everyone in the room is going to fall for it immediately. He’s got a knackfor manipulating people.

“Mac, baby…”

Mac’s eyebrows shoot up into his hair.

“I know I told you I wanted to see other people, but… I’verealized something, in the last three days. I only want to see you- forthe rest of my life.”

He earns a couple of aww’s and affectionate hums fromthe restaurant patrons. Stupid, stupid, stupid people. They don’t even know himand they’re already convinced he’s in love with Mac. He’s a much better actorthan Dee is, and he would shove that in her face, if she hadn’t been the one tocome up with this plan.

“Look, I know I messed up, but… I’m not afraid anymore, Mac.I know how I feel. And I know you came here with Chad, and I know what you’regonna say, and I know I don’t have a ring…”

Mac’s got his face in his hand, and Drew looks absolutely appalled.No matter what he answers, no matter how this plays out, this date isdefinitely destroyed.

“But I’d marry you with this.”

Dennis snatches a ring-shaped onion slice from a woman’s salad,and she simply sits there and lets him, because she’s that enthralledwith his speech. He makes sure to grind it good and hard between his fingersbefore setting it back down- he’s going to need that.

“Because none of that matters.” He pretends to take amoment, burying his face in his hand and digging his oniony fingers into hiseyes. When he feels them start to tingle, feels a tear drip down his cheek, helowers his hand and sniffles. “What matters is you, man.”

A few more aww’s are whispered, and Dennis feelsquite pleased with his exceptional performance.

“Jesus Christ, Dennis.” Mac turns back to his dateand reaches out for him. “This isn’t-”

“No, you know what? Go ahead.” Drew scoots his chair backand stands to his feet, tossing the napkin from his lap onto the table. “I sawthe way you two looked at each other.”

Clearly, that statement has no basis in fact, but it worksto Dennis’ advantage, so he’ll take it. Before Mac can even stammer out a syllable, his date has abscondedand stormed out of the restaurant.

“Dennis-”

“Mac, listen…”

Dennis crouches down in front of him and takes his hands,all of the tears in his voice gone as he whispers to him.

“They’re going to give us free dessert.”

Mac stops glaring daggers at him, and the tension in hismuscles relaxes. His hands go limp under Dennis’ as he scans him over,observing the streaks of foundation he no doubt has on his cheeks.

“Fine, asshole,” he answers loudly enough for the entiredead-silent restaurant to hear.

A few scattered people begin slow clapping, unsure as towhether or not that’s a positive response. Dennis makes quick work of slickinghis thumb across his eyes and eliciting a few more crocodile tears.

“He said yes!”

The restaurant erupts in applause as Mac shoots him a deathstare so hard he might pop a blood vessel.

—–

“There’s too much coconut.”

“That’s the entire purpose of the cake, Mac. Do you claimthere’s too much chocolate in a brownie, as well?”

“I’m just saying, it’s like suntan lotion.”

Mac swallows and sets his fork down, gaze focused on thetable. He leans onto it and rests his chin in his hand.

Before Dennis can suggest they get a tub of ice cream fromthe store instead, Mac mumbles into his palm.

“I know you’re uncomfortable.”

Dennis is thrown off guard by that.

“Well, I suppose the chair could use a cushion, but otherthan that-”

“No,” he grumbles. “About the date.”

Dennis? Uncomfortable? Over something so banal as Mac datinga guy? To accuse him of that, when he has always been perfectlytolerant, and Mac has been the one pointing fingers and throwing stonesin glass houses and proclaiming his condemnation of gay relationships from the steeples-it’s downright rude.

“I am not-”

“I can tell, dude!” Mac yells, finally sitting up andlooking Dennis in the eyes like a man. “You were uncomfortable earlier and you’reuncomfortable right now.”

Right now? He is merely trying to eat his free pandan cakein peace!

“Mac, I’ve always known you’re-”

“I’m not- I was just- I was trying something outand…” He gives up on whatever moronic protest he was going to attempt and,instead, lets his head fall face-first onto the table. A childish groan bubblesup from his throat. “Why did you follow me here?”

Dennis lets out a long breath and prepares himselfto say what he’s about to say.

“Look, Mac…”

Mac’s still got his head down, but he’s adjusted hisposition to gaze up at Dennis. This would actually probably be easier if heweren’t, though.

“When you cancelled our monthly dinner, I felt like Iwasn’t-”

“Are you done yet?”

Dee’s standing at the end of their table expectantly, tappingher foot and slugging down the last of a beer. “You better be in the car in thenext five minutes or you two shit socks are walking home.”

He glances to Mac and mumbles, “She smells like asock…”

For a second, Mac smiles and snort-laughs, until heremembers he’s supposed to be upset and his face falls again.

Dee’s freakishly strong hands slam the empty bottle down,with enough pressure to put a crack in the tabletop. “You know what? Fine. I’mleaving. You two deserve each other.”

Before she gets even five steps away, Mac shouts after her.

“Yeah, go listen to your stupid music in your dumb car!”

Dennis chuckles under his breath. “Her music isstupid.”

He reminds himself to thank her later, nonetheless. She canbe a half-decent sister on occasion. Sure, he owes her an apartment cleaning inexchange for the engagement idea, but still- nice of her to accompany himtonight.

“Sorry, Dennis, what were you gonna say?”

When you cancelled our monthly dinner, I felt like Iwasn’t as important to you as your date. I felt like you threw away years oftradition for some fool you barely knew. You’ve been on your phone all the timeand movies aren’t as fun without your commentary. You’re my best friend and Ihad to share you and it really sucked. And we don’t have to talk about the gaything if you don’t want to, but if you do, we’ll go get some ice cream and we’lltalk about it.

Dennis chooses to shorten it.

“You want to go get ice cream?”

Mac shrugs and agrees to the idea, on the condition thatthere’s no coconut involved.

The walk home isn’t too long, even with the trip to theconvenience store. They don’t talk much, but it isn’t uncomfortable. Sure, theycan chat for hours if left to their own devices, but when it’s just the two ofthem… it’s perfectly comfortable to say nothing, too.

Mac wraps his coat around Dennis’ shoulders when it getscold.  He buries his hands in thepockets, where an energy bar rustles around in there. He knew Mac would never reallytake a chance on a new restaurant- the guy likes to play it safe.

He reminds himself that this is all for the best, for Mac.He needs Dennis. He relies on him for guidance and money andtransportation (present situation excluded) and basically everything in hislife. It’s good that he didn’t end up putting that pressure on somebody else.It’s good that nobody else is going to watch TV on their couch and eat straightout of their ice cream tub and dangle their legs over Mac’s lap. That wouldhave been annoying.

Yeah, Dennis reassures himself as he watches Maccarry the grocery bags and makes himself comfortable in his jacket, Macneeds him.

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

[pheuthe]

Coldflash 3&14 pretty please?

(sorry for the awfully long wait :’D I hope this ficlet reaches you anyway, nonnie, and I’m doubly sorry for kinda twisting that prompt around, but I had an unexpectedly hard time with 3. especially :’D)

..

“PoorLenny,” Lisa drawls, even as she smacks him over the head with her newest Chanelbag. Len’s pretty sure it’s no coincidence, but he’s in no place to contest hercasual violence right now.

“I don’twant your pity, I want your absence,” he snaps and takes another swig of hisbeer before she yanks the bottle out of his grip, snorts when she reads the label,and returns it to his sorry self.

“Didn’t youget the memo that drowning your sorrows only works if you get actual alcoholinvolved?”

He ignoresher, just like he’s trying to ignore most of his life right now. It’s probablynot the most mature way of coping with shit, but at the moment, Len doesn’tcare. All he wants is to wallow and scowl at the wall for the night, and thenmaybe go plan a heist. Something obnoxious and loud, something that would be agiant ‘fuck you’ in the face of a hero. Thehero.

Which is stupid,because Len is the one in the wrong, but he panicked and ran and now there’s noway back. Technically, Barry could probably take him back in time to the pointwhen Len hasn’t fucked up yet, but Barry would be right there with him, and hencelay the problem.

Lisa,unfortunately, doesn’t take the hint and keeps staring him down until Lenscowls at her, without much heat, because he’s reserving all he’s got for theburning self-hatred at the moment.

“What?”

“You tellme,” she shrugs and puts her legs up onto the table, crossing her ankles andwatching him like a hawk. “I haven’t seen you moping this badly for quite sometime. I think it was… oh yes, the first time Barry told you it was a mistake.”

He winces,unable to hold back the hurt at the sound of the kid’s name, and Lisa growsserious, zoning in on his pain with scary precision. Feet off the table in asecond, she leans forward, studying him like the answer’s written in his eyes.Maybe it is, the way he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about the wholeordeal.

“Did he breakup with you? Is that it? I’m going to-“

“-donothing,” Len interrupts, before she can get explicit in her fantasies ofbodily harm inflicted upon the man he shouldn’t, but does, love.

And thereinlies the problem. Much as he likes Barry, they could never work long-term. Notwith Barry’s family, not with Len’s, not with the diverging paths their liveshave taken. Too bad Barry didn’t understand that fact, or dismissed it with hisendless optimism.

Lisa’sstill watching him, and Len’s beer is gone, sloshing warm and unpleasant in hismouth like it can’t quite wash away the taste of the harsh words he spoke. Hewishes he could forget, get drunk for real and stop thinking about the wholemess for a few hours, but his father has taken that from him forty years agoand Len’s not ready to become an even more screwed-up version of Lewis, noteven when he can’t think of any other way to cope.

“Lenny,”Lisa says, and he must look like shit for her to take that tone with him, softand empathetic and careful, “what happened?”

There’s nouse in putting it off or lying: Lisa has become friends with Iris during thewhirlwind of Len’s relationship with Barry, and bad news sure travel fast.

“Heproposed.”

“He what?!”

Len winces atthe memory of Barry’s bright eyes, his hopeful smile, the way his voice shook alittle as he fumbled with the words. He picks at the label on his empty bottle,because destruction is apparently his motto for the day, and sighs.

“You heardme.”

“Sure Iheard you, I just don’t get why you’re not somewhere celebra- you said no.”

Lisa sounds…shocked, and Len frowns. She was always quick to tell him that he should becareful, and that Barry was too young, too eager, too different from anythingthey’ve ever known, so it feels like betrayal that she’s not there for him rightnow, saying he did the right thing.

“You’re anidiot, Lenny. Why did you say no?! You’re obviously crazy about this guy, andmuch as it pains me to say, you’ve been good together, good for each other. Sure he’s a cop’s kid,and half a cop himself, and overall too much of a good guy if you ask me, but…the way you looked at him, Lenny, I haven’t seen you look that way at anyone,ever, and he’s been looking right back, so what’s the problem?”

Len pushesthe bottle away, almost wishing it would crash over the side of the table and shatter,but of course it doesn’t, because he can’t do anything right today.

“You’resupposed to talk me out of this. In fact, you’ve been talking me out of thisfor more than a year.”

“And youalways do the exact opposite of what I say, so don’t you dare blame it on me,chicken-shit.”

He whirlsaround to face her, anger rising in his chest like a tidal wave. “What did youjust-“

“You heardme,” Lisa scoffs, not budging an inch under the weight of his glare. “You knowwhat I think? You’re so scared of losing him, or hurting him, so you pushed himaway now rather than later. Great job. Because that’s going to make you bothfeel so much better.”

Len’sknuckles ache with the urge to punch something, a wall, or some asshole’s face –too bad he chose their private warehouse for his moping, instead of a bar wherehe could pick a fight or two. It makes sense, what Lisa’s saying, but the thingis, those words would sound better in some fucking romantic movie where theproblems magically disappear because of love.

“Wouldn’twork,” he shrugs, rolling his shoulders to release some of the tension that’s beengripping his muscles for hours now. “He’s too much of a good guy, you said it.Sees something in me that’s not there, I can’t live up to that. Eventually he’sgonna be disappointed, Lise, and it’ll be too damn hard for him to walk away ifthere’s a ring on his finger. That’s the kind of guy he is. I want to be withhim, but tonight… it changes things.”

“Have youtold him that?”

Lisa’squestion catches him off-balance and he blinks for a moment before the wordsactually make it to his brain in all their confusing glory.

“What?”

“Have youtold him how you feel, Lenny? I mean, really told him. That you’re worried you’renot good enough for him – that you want to be with him, without the rings andall that jazz. Doesn’t matter if that’s true a year or a decade from now, andit doesn’t matter if it changes for him, either. If all you can really promiseis right now, he should know. And you can’t decide for him if that’s enough ornot. Much as I like to tease you about cradle-robbing, he’s a grown man. Talkto him, Lenny. And listen.”

Len’sknee-jerk reaction is to shake his head and tell her she’s crazy… but her wordsmake a terrifying sort of sense in his mind all of a sudden, and he’s pushingaway from the table before he can think himself out of it again. He can’tpossibly screw things up any worse than they already are, and the thin sliverof hope that maybe, he could make things better,gives him the momentum to turn and walk away without a word, for the secondtime tonight.

Hopefullytowards a brighter future.

….

Lisa rollsher eyes at her brother’s retreating back: at forty-four, Lenny should reallylearn to talk about his feelings without grimacing like his teeth are beingpulled. But who better to teach him than a bright-eyed twenty-something withthe innate charm of an overgrown puppy?

Yeah, Lisacan’t say she’s a fan… but she would gladly give her brother to a sasquatch ifhe made Lenny’s eyes light up like Barry does.

Her phonebuzzes in her pocket and she pulls it out to find a very angry text messagefrom ‘TheHottestWest’.

WHAT HAS UR BROTHER DONE IM AT BARRYS HES DEVASTATED

Lisa smirksand fires off a quick reply, then reaches under the table for an unopenedbottle.

u should clear out lens on his way makeup sexto follow 4sure

An angryemoji, followed by a disgusted one, arrives in the next second.

But sinceLenny fails to come back home that night, Lisa believes that Iris took heradvice, in the end.