#unfortunately she will never go bankrupt. not in this lifetime at least

[honeycollectswhump]

If Miss Mireille goes bankrupt, you can be sure I'll be the one who take Ashtray home with me...

He'll be the reason I stop smoking, I'll pamper him, give him homemade food and treat him like the good boy he is because he deserves it!

if you stop smoking with Ashtray in your house you deserve a medal!! he doesn't intend it but he'd make quitting so much harder :( why isn't there any new cigarette smell when he knows there was before!!! you treat him so well he is desperate to do a good job and might start carrying cigarettes around for quick access.

but he'd love you very much!!! you treat him so well!! and after some time he might even realise that his job isn't to be an Ashtray anymore, but to be a lapdog. and he'd do his very best to fulfill that new role :D

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 2.3.8 “Inconveniences Of Entertaining A Poor Man Who May Be Rich”

This chapter is so long. Here goes.

Is it normal for Cosette to have to knock to get into the house she lives in? Or is Hugo just using that as a vehicle to make Mme Thenardier meet Valjean first?

It’s times like this that I desperately wish I knew more about biblical stories and fables and things. This, a rich man in disguise as a poor man being treated poorly by innkeepers and taking something from them, sounds like a bible story or a similar type of fable. But the only two bible stories I know with similar themes are the nativity story and Sodom and Gomorrah and neither of those seem quite right. Still, this entire episode reads like a fable or fairytale.

We’ve already seen how Evil the Thenardiers are re: their treatment of Cosette. Now we are seeing their Evil in the form of treatment of the poor.

You know, that’s an interesting thing that I’m not going to get into in this longass chapter. Javert’s evil and Thenardier’s evil are different because I feel like Javert’s evil is a lot more muddied or obscured by morality and duty and things like that. Where are the Thenardiers are bad but the badness of their actions is much more black and white. I think it’s also because, technically, they never have social power over anyone unless they are manipulative, whereas Javert always has the social power. I’m not sure where to go with either of these ideas but I will look back on it for a shorter chapter.

Cosette is ugly because she’s sad. It’s like the exact opposite of Roald Dahl’s description of ugliness. I called it on the orphanage thing and kids looking years younger than they are; she looks 6 when she’s 8. That doesn’t seem like a huge difference when you look at it written down but the difference between the size and maturity of a 6 year old vs an 8 year old is surprising.

In the way that the description of the doll was a distant echo of young Fantine, the description of Cosette here is a faded echo of dying Fantine.

“Fear was spread all over here; she was, so to speak, covered with it; fear squeezed her elbows against her sides, drew her heels up under her skirt, made her shrink into the least possible space...” I’m sure this description comes from Hugo observing children in his lifetime, but I also wonder if any of this comes from his brother who had schizophrenia and was institutionalized?

“The expression on the face of this child of eight was habitually so sad and occasionally so tragic that it seemed, at certain moments, as if she were on the way to becoming an idiot or a demon.” What an interesting pair of choices. Fear and sadness either stun and numb you completely or they turn you aggressive and evil. Hugo said the same thing before when talking about Valjean’s prison time. Again, like I said before, Cosette here is Valjean when we first met him: exhausted, scared, sad, numb, hatefully terrified of the people around her; the difference is that she still has hope. She had that moment of hoping someone would rescue her, she had the moment of pausing and wondering what the doll’s paradise was like; when we met Valjean he was past that kind of hope.

(Funny that Mme Thenardier doesn’t suspect the trick Valjean just pulled, despite Valjean “finding” a 20 sous piece instead of 15 sous piece.)

I love the description of Eponine and Azelma because it’s so innocent. They as little human beings aren’t morally bankrupt at the level of their parents yet. They’re still pretty and glowing. Partly because they are well-cared for unlike Cosette, and partly because they are still innocent.

“Eponine and Azelma did not notice Cosette. To them she was like the dog. The three little girls did not have twenty-four years among them, and they already represented the whole of human society: on one side envy, on the other disdain.”

Ah, human microcosms. Hugo loves those. The Thenardier children and Cosette are the pared down, simplified version of society. It’s also an excellent example of how Privilege works in layers. The girls’ doll is worn and old and broken, but the fact of them having a real doll and Cosette having nothing is already a layer of privilege Someone else, another little girl with wealthy parents and a new intact doll would have privilege over the Thenardier girls. There are layers.

I really love this passage too because it shows the start of the zero-sum game between Eponine and Cosette. At no point are Eponine and Cosette able to be equals. But the important thing is that neither of them are aware of this. Later, when Cosette and Eponine encounter each other again in the Gorbeau house, Eponine doesn’t have the awareness to be angry about the reversal of their fortunes. She seems sad, mostly, a jealousy born from a feeling of worthlessness rather than feeling slighted. And Cosette doesn’t even recognize Eponine, so there’s no room at all for disdain on her part, unless she’s disdainful of Eponine et al due to their poverty, though that never seems to be the case. But Eponine cannot be happy while Cosette is and Cosette cannot be happy while Eponine is, because their goals occupy the same fulcrum (Marius) and they can’t both be on the same level at the same time.

Fanfiction has explored this a lot in modern AU but I wonder the kind of havoc that could have been wreaked had Cosette and Eponine met and become proper acquaintances. Their teenage personalities are two sides of the same coin. I’ve always been of the opinion that had they switched places as children Cosette would have ended up like Eponine and Eponine like Cosette. Because Eponine has the capacity for kindness within her, except that she doesn’t know how to use it selflessly; and Cosette has the same stubborn ruthlessness as Eponine, except that she is held back by convention and reduced to talking a lot in order to try and somehow glean information from Valjean or Marius.

“Now your work belongs to me. Play, my child.” This is the second (or third?) Myriel moment for Valjean. Cosette is a child, an innocent child, but her soul doesn’t need to be bought for god. As far as I can tell, for Hugo, children are always holy. Instead, he’s buying her work. But that makes sense. For Valjean, his soul needed to be bought for god because he had already lost it to sin and to evil and to doubt. Cosette still has hope; what she needs bought from her is suffering.

And here is where the parallel continues. Cosette up until now has been Valjean as we first met him: sullen, suffering, scared, dulled, close to becoming “an idiot or a demon” and now, like Valjean’s soul, her work has been bought so she can be free.

I think it is within the walls of the convent that their parallels will catch up to each other and they will become more equal.

I feel as though the cat in a dress vs the sword in a dress must be some sort of parallel to Eponine and Cosette’s personalities but I’m not quite sure how to pull the meaning out.

“A little girl without a doll is almost as unfortunate and just as impossible as a woman without children.” Ugh. Gross, Hugo. This whole chapter was so lovely and then this misogynist bullshit.

I can explain the “water on her brain” line! Mostly because it’s a medical condition I actually have! So, “water on the brain” is another term for hydrocephalus, which is a buildup of cerebrospinal fluid in the ventricles of the brain. It can be caused by being born prematurely (like mine was) or by infections/head trauma. Nowadays they can put a shunt in your head that pumps the fluid into the abdominal cavity (which is what I have), but obviously they didn’t have the technology back then. So what happens to the head if the fluid doesn’t drain, is the head will start to increase in size, and the fluid buildup will squish the brain against the sides of the skull, causing seizures and brain damage/intellectual disabilities and vision problems and other such things. I function perfectly fine except for mild dyscalculia and ADHD (which might have been genetic anyway) but back in the 19th century hydrocephalus probably would have resulted in either mild-to-severe disabilities or death.

Cosette doesn’t have hydrocephalus, but what she does have is severe malnutrition, which can make a person’s head look much too large for their body. So Mme Thenardier is likely using Cosette’s appearance due to neglect to fake that she has a neurological problem and explain why they have to “take care of” her.

Jesus fucking christ this next bit is so much. There’s so much going on. Mme Thenardier is talking to Valjean about Cosette’s mother, the drinkers are singing vulgar songs about the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus, and Cosette is under the table singing “My mother is dead.” to herself. Woof. It is, yet again, an instance of the memory of “Fantine” (in the symbolic, saintly form of the Virgin) being sullied both by the foul songs of the drinkers and the callous, flippant commentary of Mme Thenardier. And Cosette is there under the table, staring at the fire, suddenly playing the role of her own mother, rocking the sword-baby (herself) to try and comfort herself from the shock of this new knowledge that her mother is dead.

(Anyone else read As I Laying Dying, by the way? All I could think of when I read that line was “My mother is a fish.”)

We start to see Cosette’s bold personality come out in fits and starts. She’s brave enough to sneak out and grab the doll Eponine and Azelma have abandoned. But it’s also an example of how desperate she is for something pleasurable and good, considering she’s doing that at the risk of a beating.

For the second time, we see Cosette so absorbed in her moment of “I Want” that she doesn’t see or hear anything else. Again, this seems unusual considering her constant hypervigilance. But her success in getting the doll and her increased confidence due to Valjean’s presence probably have something to do with her lack of awareness.

Cosette is caught with the doll. Is this the parallel of Valjean being caught with Myriel’s silver? Mme Thenardier says “That beggar has dared to touch the children’s doll.” The gendarmes don’t say as much when they return Valjean to Myriel, but it’s pretty obvious they’re thinking something similar.

“We are forced to add that at that moment she stuck out her tongue.” COSETTE IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE DESERVES THE WORLD. Also I just love the way Hugo writes children, it’s so real.

Why did Hugo choose Catherine for the name of the doll? Is it to do with St Catherine? She (the saint) became Christian at 14 and converted hundreds of people before being martyred at 18 after rebuking the Roman emperor for his cruelty and winning a debate with his best philosophers.

“This solitary man, so poorly dressed, who took five-franc pieces from his pocket so easily and lavished gigantic dolls on little brats in wooden clogs, was certainly a magnificent and formidable individual.” Valjean is now Myriel. Outsiders are fascinated by him because he dresses so shabbily and yet is so benevolent and charitable with his money. Again, the difference is that Myriel’s name is always known, and Valjean’s is never known.

I know I say this so often but the distance with which Hugo treats Valjean is absolutely fascinating to me. Valjean has this incredible power to just go inside himself and not move, but we never get that kind if internality unless it’s really really important (like with the Champmathieu affair). Otherwise, Hugo keeps a respectful distance, and even when we get Valjean’s emotions described to us, I feel like Hugo is always holding back a little, like he’s not letting himself see all the way into Valjean, or Valjean isn’t letting him in.

Valjean asks for a stable; I think this is the first time we see his whole thing about sacrifice of physical comfort. Things like this asking for the stable and sleeping in the shed behind the house at Rue Plumet and not having chairs and only eating black bread etc. This is the first example we see of him feeling unworthy of physical comforts to such a degree.

(It’s interesting to me that we don’t see this characteristic when he was mayor, or at least not to this extreme. Is it because it would be unbecoming of a mayor and therefore would blow his cover? Or did going back to prison hammer in that feeling of worthlessness and lesser-than and warp his perception of what he is compared to others?)

“What a sublime, sweet thing is hope in a child who has never known anything but its opposite!” We’ve said this already, but Cosette is full of hope and life and light and that is Important because it is exactly what Valjean did not have when he was in her position. But it means that she doesn’t have to work as hard in her ascent towards happiness and goodness.

And, lastly, I love that the placement of the gold Louis in Cosette’s shoe isn’t just a sweet Christmas gesture or a gesture towards Cosette: it’s also an echo of M Madeleine breaking into houses to place gold pieces on the table.

Wow. Long af post for a long af chapter. Congratulations if you read through all of my rambling thoughts.

[bastillewolf]

The Grand Tranquility Hotel (II)

Pairing: Alex Turner/Reader

Summary: An eccentric hotel owner and an inquisitive writer find solace in each other when they both seemed to be at the edge of rock bottom.

Notes: Most chapter titles are indeed going to be the song titles from TBHC. Hope you enjoy!

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the tag list.

Chapter II - She Looks Like Fun

She’d picked out a darker dress with a wavy skirt. Something comfortable, yet still classy. She could almost imagine her mother squealing with joy, because up until a few months ago she would’ve never worn anything like this.

Her mother used to reprimand her for it, because she’d always said that her legs were far too nice to be covered up by trousers or any of the sort. And if she was being honest, her legs did look rather nice. She’d actually shaved, while it was still the cold season. A season where shaving legs was not necessary. She felt a sense of pride. It quickly simmered down.

She hated the fact she couldn’t tell her mother these things anymore. She supposed that wearing skirts and dresses was her own way of dealing with things. Trying to rid of the guilt of having been gone for so long to find work in all sorts of places. Not calling enough. Skipping holidays and family meetings. She was grieving, and though there was probably some psychological explanation for everything she was doing, she really didn’t care enough to find out.

She was still adorned with her grandmother’s watch, possibly the most valuable family heirloom in her possession. Perhaps not so much in price, because the gold needed a good polish and there were enough scratches and dents to tell a tale of a lifetime or two, but it sure meant a lot to her emotionally. It was the only thing she had left of her mother. And any time she felt a wave of anxiety or couldn’t catch a night’s sleep, she listened to the soft ticking of the seconds hand. It reminded her of where she was, what she was doing, and that everything would be fine. As she now didn’t feel the anxiety anymore of dining all by herself. Because in a way, her mother was with her.

While exiting the room, she didn’t stop to think about the sinister half-opened door at the end of the hallway and quickly made her way downstairs. It was a bit before seven o’clock.

The dining room was really something else. It was a grand open space adorned with golden chandeliers and tables with pristine white napkins on shining plates. It was a symmetrically satisfying sight to behold, and she felt out of place to take a seat on any of the luxurious furniture. She wondered if they were actually expecting a grand feast soon or simply out of their minds. She presumed it was the latter.

When Nick thought enough time had passed for her to take in the spectacular view, he cleared his throat. It made her jump and though it amused him greatly, he quickly apologized. “I’m very sorry ma’am, but I’m afraid all the tables are reserved for our other guests.”

She grinned at him. “Ah, I see. That’s very unfortunate. I suppose I’ll just sit on the floor, then.” When she moved to swat some imaginary dirt away from the varnished wooden surface and was about to sink through her knees, Nick hurriedly stopped her. “Actually, I just got a message through that a reservation has been cancelled. No need to sit on the floor. Now, if you’ll follow me, miss,” he politely sputtered. She could see the relief washing over him when she stood again, and she only now figured it probably would have been a sight to see a guest sitting on the floor because a waiter had jokingly told them all the tables were reserved.

“What a shame they had to cancel their reservation, this table has such a good view,” she told Nick, as he held a chair out for her. He’d seated her beside the central window, overlooking the great view of the well-kept gardens. She spotted Matthew in front of a big fountain, who was struggling to control a rearing horse and she swore she heard Nick sigh and mutter “idiot” under his breath. She decided not to comment on it.

A figure appearing beside Nick made her turn back. “I think I’ll take it from here,” he said, offering a smile to Nick and then to her. Nick nodded, his eyes not leaving the unruly horse. “If you need me, I’ll be right outside,” he muttered, before taking off.

“It’s nice to finally meet you, miss. My name is Jamie, and I’ll be your chef for the time you’ll be staying with us,” he told her. He was adorned in a black kitchen uniform, not a crease or spot to be seen, with a leather apron tied around his waist. His hair was slicked back, in a similar fashion to Matt’s, styled to the sides and back from where his hair parted. He had a kind twinkle in his eyes yet seemed a bit on the awkward side judging from the way he fumbled his hands a bit much. “It’s nice to meet you too, Jamie,” she replied kindly, “I was wondering what the menu is like for today? I fully understand if it’s a limited one, seeing as I’m presumably the only one staying for dinner tonight.”

Jamie’s eyes widened, almost as if he remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He quickly sprinted off and was back in almost the blink of an eye, in his hands a neat menu card. “My apologies. I’m not used to serving people,” he explained, “I used to only be at work in the kitchens and send my own servers out with plates, but since we had to make quite a few cuts…”

She had been intently and quietly listening as to not snap him out of his ramble out of her own pure curiosity to know more about the hotel, but unfortunately, he caught wind of what he was saying out loud and paused mid-sentence. “Anyways,” he cleared his throat, “I can make you anything you’d like. Even if it’s not on the menu.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t want to bother you with that,” she told him, “I’ll see what the menu has to offer.” “Miss, you could never be a bother,” he replied, a slight blush dusting his cheeks. Her lips quirked up.

“Alright, how outrageous would it be if I asked you to make me a cheeseburger?” He laughed, “That would probably be the least outrageous request I’ve ever gotten from a guest, miss. I’d be happy to.”

As he was about to turn, she continued, “Have you had dinner yet, Jamie?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “No, miss. I usually eat after all the guests are done along with the other staff.”

“Will you and the rest of the staff join me, then?” She wondered. “I don’t think that’d be very appropriate, miss,” he replied shyly. “I insist. I feel like an idiot eating dinner all by myself in this huge room. Please?” She added and tried her best to look as miserable as possible. Jamie looked inflicted, his eyes darting to the entrance of the dining room for a moment as if he was checking to see if no one had heard him when he agreed.

It didn’t take that long for Matt and Nick to show up and take a seat at the table, and though they looked as if the horse had given them more trouble, their frowns quickly turned upside down when they heard Jamie was making cheeseburgers. “I’m starting to like you more and more by the minute,” Matt told the smiling woman. “Thank god, I wouldn’t want you to spend dinner while thinking of me as bad company,” she replied. “Like I already told you, miss,” Jamie said as he set plates of cheeseburgers and chips on the table, “You could never be a bother.”

Conversation was made considerably easy given the fact that she was talking to staff she had only just met, but she was glad they felt comfortable enough to let their guard down around her. “So, what do you do, if I may ask, miss?” Jamie asked. “Enough with the ‘miss’, Jamie. You can call me by my name,” she answered, “and I’m a writer. At least, I try to be.” Nick, who was chowing down a burger, looked up in interest. “Really? Written anything I know?” Matt smacked him across the head. “Speak with your mouth empty, you’re talking to a lady here.”

She laughed, “That’s quite alright. I really haven’t published anything yet except for the article here and there, but I think I’ve recently stumbled across an idea for a book.” “That’s great!” Matt commented, “What’s it gunna be about?”

She hesitated a moment before answering. “I was hoping to write about the hotel, actually.”

They all froze in the spot. She’d expected this response when she’d formed the plan to invite them to dinner and was about to elaborate when she realized it wasn’t just what she’d said that was the cause for their sudden discomfort.

“What’s going on in here? Having a tea party, I see?” A deep voice grumbled from behind her.

Turning around, she was faced with the sharp features of none other than Alexander Turner.

When she had read about him in the papers, she’d always imagined a much older man who was going to retire soon now that his hotel was bankrupt, trying to save his last bit of pocket money. The person in front of her, was the complete opposite of what she’d expected. A young, lean man dressed in an expensive-looking blue three-piece suit was staring at her with striking chocolate brown eyes. His hair was slicked back and his face clean shaven, defining his jawline and cheekbones in an impeccable way. He was an intimidating figure to say the least, and it seemed as though everyone at the table, save for Matt, had shrunken into themselves a bit.

“Miss asked us to join her for dinner,” Matt responded coldly, his hard gaze unwavering. She had to admit that she admired his boldness in this moment. This was not the same Matt who had given her a ride and had been dining with her just now.

“Ah, of course,” mister Turner replied smoothly, “allow me to introduce myself, my name is Alex Turner. I’m the owner of this establishment.” His hand took hers. “It’s nice to finally meet you, miss.” And he kissed it courteously, making her skin tingle. “And you can call me Alexander.” His eyes shot up to lock with hers and she was completely entranced.

“Nice to meet you as well, Alexander,” she managed to reply, as he slowly dropped her hand. “I was just asking your staff more about the hotel. I’m rather interested in writing a piece about it.”

“Ah, a writer then,” he said as his sharp gaze flickered over said staff. “I hope they haven’t told you too much about the hotel. Wouldn’t want to share our best kept secrets, now would we?” The underline of his tone was threatening, and she was almost worried she’d gotten the guys into trouble, when Matt spoke up, “Oh, I wouldn’t worry too much about that, mister Turner. I’m sure those secrets will unravel themselves when the time comes.”

The silence that followed could’ve been cut with a knife as Alex’ eyes turned cold. “I’d like to have a word with you when you’re done, Matthew.” It was all he said before storming out.

Matt sighed. “I’ll best be going, then.” And quickly followed after him.

“What was that about?” she questioned. Nick shook his head, “They’re always this dramatic.”

In the small office behind the entrance desk, Matt leaned against the doorpost as Alex filed through some paperwork. “I don’t tolerate backtalk in front of our guests, Matthew. You know this,” he said, not bothering to look up from the unorganized mess of files.

“She’s our only guest, Alex. You should take it easy for a little while. You know, come and stay with us.”

Alex rolled his eyes at the remark.

“But really though, what did you think of her?” Matt continued.

Alex looked at him and Matt saw a familiar twinkle in his eyes, one he hadn’t seen for a long time. “She looks like fun,” he simply responded.

[gaykimjisoo]

ease

rating: g

pairings: seowon, harom (fromis_9)

word count: 1421

summary: seoyeon works at a coffee shop on black friday.

read on ao3

seoyeon has never seen a coffee shop do deals for black friday. the drinks are already all worth less than anything that should be on sale, so it’s a moot point unless the company wants to go bankrupt.

unfortunately, there’s a first time for everything. the problem is she’s caught in the middle of it.

she waves the latest customer away and sinks a little when she sees the line is even longer since she last saw it a minute before, stretching out the door. seoyeon resigns herself to staying at least an hour after her shift; at least she’ll get overtime. $10 more in her bank.

the next customer steps up to the counter, and seoyeon is almost too tired to register how her hair slides across her neck and her eyes shine with something she hasn’t seen in awhile. she needs more than a few moments to compose herself for this pretty stranger, time she doesn’t have.

seoyeon has always had a weakness for pretty girls, and the way her lips shine like cherries is a bit too much for her.

so she stares. and she’s hitting herself in her head, because her physical functions aren’t currently adept enough to do it.

then the girl’s eyes crinkle into half moons as she smiles and seoyeon knows she’s totally fucked.

“aren’t you supposed to greet me?” the pretty stranger asks.

seoyeon blinks once slowly, then again, and her instincts catch up to her. “welcome to haven coffee. what would you like?” she thanks whatever higher power there is that her voice doesn’t crack.

“good job,” the girl muses, and looks up at the menu like she hadn’t had all the time in the world when she was in line.

seoyeon would usually be annoyed by this, but it gave her more time to study her, so she can’t complain with a clear conscience.

and the way she tilts her head back and her neck becomes exposed, christ. it has to be illegal.

“i like the caramel macchiato,” seoyeon blurts, because, hey, she’s a normal person who can totally hold a conversation. “it’s. it’s really good. i think.”

maybe not that normal of a person.

but the stranger giggles, and casts her gaze back to seoyeon. “you have a sweet tooth?”

she blushes. “yeah… sorry.” she doesn’t know exactly what she’s apologizing for, but she feels like she should anyway.

“it’s okay,” she says. “so do i.”

having one thing in common with a stranger, even a pretty one, shouldn’t make her heart skip a beat.

“i’ll get one of those,” she finishes, slipping a dollar bill (yes, the deals were that atrocious) across the counter. “small.”

seoyeon types it into the cash register, regretfully tearing her eyes away. “and that’s all?”

“yep.”

“name?” seoyeon asks.

“jiwon,” she tells her, and seoyeon’s heart fucking flutters. it’s perfect.

she scribbles her name on the cup and sets it aside for one of her coworkers to take care of. “that’ll just take a few minutes,” she finishes.

“thank you,” jiwon says, and as seoyeon looks back up, she winks. if seoyeon’s heart had skipped a beat before, it flatlines then.

the entire conversation only took a couple minutes, but it felt like seconds and a lifetime all at once. seoyeon wistfully watches jiwon walk to a table in the back, sighing.

“oh my god,” she hears from behind her, two voices whispering in perfect unison.

“they’re soulmates. it’s meant to be.”

“romsae, we just watched our BABY fall in love. we should’ve filmed it.”

“why didn’t you?”

“i was too busy swooning on seoyeon’s behalf. why didn’t you?”

“i was recording it in my memory. we can make them redo it when they’re married with five kids, anyway.”

“true, but it won’t be the same. we’re failiures as mothers.”

hayoung and saerom were two things to seoyeon; firstly they were the dorky, in love parental figures she never had. secondly, they were both pains in the ass in their own ways. she supposed, in retrospect, they go hand in hand.

still, she doesn’t have to respect them like parents. for that, she’s very thankful.

“you two are impossible,” seoyeon says without turning around, beginning to take care of the next customer in line.

they were also scarily in sync at least 100% of the time.

“i got this!” hayoung announces, bumping seoyeon’s hip so hard she stumbles and almost falls over.

saerom snatches the cup off the counter before anyone else can get to it. “go to her, seoyeon,” she coos. “get it, baby.”

seoyeon will never admit it, but she appreciates that sentiment just as much as she hates it.

without anything else to do, the shop already overstaffed, she shuffles over to jiwon. she apologizes when she bumps into people because she really cannot keep her eyes off this girl, but she doesn’t actually feel all that bad about it.

when she arrived at the table, for at least a few seconds, she just stares at the back of jiwon’s head and panics. she’s so pretty what the fuck do i SAY how can i impress her also why did she wink at me??? does that mean she’s interested or was she just making fun of me for being a mess i think it’s the latter this was a mistake i’m an idiot FUCK YOU SAEROM-

“what’s your name?” jiwon asks without turning around. seoyeon has a mini heart attack.

“seoyeon,” she responds. “can i, uh, sit down?”

jiwon giggles again. “yeah, uh, i guess,” she mocks. seoyeon doesn’t that mind all that much, either.

she sits across from jiwon, crosses her legs, and makes eye contact with her. it’s silent for a minute or two as jiwon scrutinizes her and seoyeon absentmindedly noted that she can feel the blood leaving her fingers from how tight she’s gripping her chair. that’s probably not healthy.

“seoyeon’s a good name.” she nods along dumbly.

“you like anime?”

i’ve fallen for a weeb.

“naruto’s nice.”

jiwon snorts. “typical. watch madoka magica. that’s real shit.”

“... okay?”

jiwon nods in satisfaction and goes back to scrutinizing, and saerom has to scream “caramel macchiato for jiwon” at least 3 times for her to snap out of it.

jiwon gets up to get her drink, and seoyeon finally has time to think about the ridiculous situation.

fact number one: she’s whipped.

fact number two: jiwon is, at least a little bit, interested.

fact number three: this is really cliché.

fact number four: jiwon’s smile is really pretty and she never wants to go another shitty morning without it.

fact number five: after reviewing fact number four, seoyeon falls a little bit more. not in love, but in the possibility of love, butterflies and first dates and all that.

“well, not to insult a pretty girl,” jiwon says, returning to her seat, “but you’re not that smooth. to make up for it, though, your friends are.” she shows seoyeon her cup, and she dies inside.

saerom wrote, in her pristine as fuck handwriting, her number and a list of rules if she wants to date “my baby who has never done anything wrong.” she’s suddenly reminded of her earlier exhaustion and deigns not to read all of them, but it’s… extensive. she wants to yell.

“i wouldn’t call that smooth,” she croaks out instead.

“it gets the job done,” jiwon said with a shrug, sipping her coffee. she grimaces, then glares at seoyeon. “fuck. you said this was good.”

“best thing on the menu. this place is shit.”

jiwon waves her hand. “still a lie. i usually don’t go out with people who lie.”

badump badump badump.

“for you, though, i’ll make an exception. you should thank your cute personality and your friends.”

seoyeon balks at her, jaw dropped, eyes wide.

“god, i wanna take a picture. you’re so adorable,” jiwon tells her, giggling. she stands up, coffee in hand. “i’ll text you, yeah?”

“y-yeah,” is all seoyeon can say in response.

seoyeon watches her walk out, dumping her coffee into the trash along the way, but keeping the cup.

hayoung slides into the seat jiwon was sitting in while seoyeon continues to gaze at the door. “that was somehow embarrassing and heartwarming all at once.”

seoyeon doesn’t answer.

“whatever,” hayoung mutters. “someday you’ll thank us for being the best mothers you could’ve ever asked for.”

(and if later, she feels her phone buzz in her pocket and her heart does a little jump, she’ll keep that to herself.)

[keegandchx114-blog]

5 Ways Of Weight Loss & Control That Can Drive You Bankrupt - Fast!

Introduction

If there's something that dietitians and obesity experts acknowledge, it really is that personal motivation could be the foundation all weight reduction success. No matter how healthy the diet-plan, or what mixture of calories and nutrition it contains, it won't help anyone slim down unless they follow it for long enough. Their willingness to do so depends entirely on how motivated they're to improve their eating and exercise habits to achieve their weight loss goals.

Motivation Advice Hard To Find

The Internet provides a bewildering selection of diets and weight reduction eating plans, but advice on motivation when dieting is extremely short supply. Given the strong link between diet-compliance and motivation, this insufficient motivational guidance is surprising, understandably. It may stem in the fact that many diets are made by people who lack hands-on experience with helping website visitors to manage how much. Perhaps they see weight reduction as a biological instead of a human process. If so, I think it's a mistake.

Motivating Yourself To Lose Weight

I tell all my clients that starting a weight loss diet is like starting a trip. And like every journey it will take preparation. We need to look ahead and plan the best way to overcome problems that occur in the process. By doing this we control the procedure and greatly increase our probability of success.

Unfortunately, many dieters don't plan. Instead, they take things as they come, and depend on two things: their initial enthusiasm, and (once this wears off) their willpower. But enthusiasm and willpower aren't enough to beat the temptations and difficulties which we face when we try to improve our eating habits and lifestyle.

Stop for just a moment and imagine taking your household on a camping trip. Do you rely on your enthusiasm and willpower for food and shelter? Of course not. In all probability, you may spend hours beforehand carefully packing and be prepared for every eventuality, along with the whole trip is carefully planned in advance.

Yet when you start a diet-journey, lots of you place off without form of planning or preparation. It's as if you think that everything should go smoothly. But after all, what diet ever runs smoothly? Answer: none! So what happens whenever we encounter a major problem? Answer: we wobble, and frequently quit.

We Need To Plan New Thinking Habits

Planning a diet-journey does not require packing equipment, it involves packing "new thoughts". We need to rehearse and adopt new strategies to thinking to overcome problems during our journey. This isn't psycho-babble - this really is plain wise practice. After all, successful dieting is basically just a few motivation and attitude. It's about what happens between our ears!

The Most Common Dieting Problem

The most common problem we face when dieting is boredom. This typically takes place when our initial enthusiasm for weight loss wears off, and we become fed up with watching the food we eat. We become dispirited and slightly depressed at the idea of experiencing to take care of our "sensible diet regime" while all the others seems to be enjoying themselves.

Losing Direction Leads To Boredom

We lose interest if we lose our a feeling of direction. So to overcome it, we have to reestablish where by were going. Remember, dieting isn't an aimless process, it's really a journey from A to B. Here's the way you think once we lose direction:

I'm uninterested in dieting, it's a real pain. I don't have freedom anymore. I can't eat this, I can't eat that... I'm fed up. I can't share food with the girls in the office, I can't get your meals at my personal favorite restaurants, I need to keep saying no to food when I visit friends, I ought to watch my children eating before me, I don't have the time to exercise properly, I'm never going to shed weight and I'm feeling really miserable. Heck! Life is way too short for this...

This form of thinking is demotivating. It focuses exclusively for the negative areas of dieting and signals complete aimlessness. No weight loss goal is achievable whenever we think such as this.

A Better Way of Thinking

Now allow me to teach you some better alternatives. Please compare them with all the above example.

Example 1

Hmm, my diet isn't going so great. But I'm not making excuses. I've wasted sufficient time making excuses to myself. From now on, whatever happens, I'm going, in all honesty with myself. So what do I want? I want to shed weight and get myself into shape. Why? Because I want that beach holiday (or any other very selfish goal) which I promised myself. I want it so bad I can touch it! Okay, so I should try to learn how to eat properly - huge problem! I can simply try this if I put my mind into it. Heck! Eating good food isn't difficult. What's difficult is seeing myself carrying excess fat for the rest of playing. I want something better. Something a lot better than a fistful of nachos or a dollop of fatty dessert.

Example 2

Hmm, my diet isn't going so good. So permit me to remind myself why I'm dieting. All my entire life I've been eating to impress others. My mom said eat this", so I ate it. My school friends said "have several of this", so I had lots. My work colleagues now say "have a slice with this", so I have two! And my children say "you must try this", so I check it out. And every time I make an effort to slim down, everyone says "forget about your diet, eat a few of this" so I do. Well, that's enough! No more eating to thrill other people. Today I'm going to start eating to thrill me. And what pleases me may be the thought of wearing a size (?) dress to my daughter's wedding (or any other very selfish goal). I realize I need you can eat properly, but this is a ridiculously tiny price to pay for achieving transpire. Heck! Eating good food isn't difficult. What's difficult is carrying my excess weight around all day long. I want something better. Something much better than a 4-cheese pizza or perhaps a box of cookies."

Example 3

Hmm, my diet isn't going as smoothly as I thought it would. Never mind, I'm sure this really is quite normal. I can't expect to improve my regular eating routine with no few hiccups as you go along. Besides, I'm seeking greater than the few minutes of ale I get from filling my stomach with junk. I want a lifetime of enjoyment - real pleasure from looking good and being considered genuine and who knows, maybe locating a great partner. I know people see me as a fat person - goodness, from time to time I do too! - but this can be exactly WHY I want to switch. I'm sick and tired with being fat. Real tired. And if this means learning the way to eat good food, then let's get it done! And when it gets tough I'm going to login to Anne Collins forum and get help. All I know is, I want to arrive!

Example 4

Hmm, my diet isn't going as smoothly as I thought it could. This morning I watched my colleagues have a whole birthday cake - it looked delicious - and I sat there feeling miserable and deprived. Then I went for lunch using a friend and opt for tuna salad while she ate half a pizza as well as two slices of cheesecake. It was torture! But then I started thinking to myself what's more essential - a few slices of cheesecake, or even a lean shape?" And I decided that looking positive was what I wanted. I know it is not feasible overnight, but if I can persevere and learn good eating routine on the way, I know I'm gonna make it..."

Example 5

Hmm, my diet isn't going as smoothly as I thought it could. But at least it is not a race. So who cares if I have a few wobbly moments, provided that I get where I want to go. At 26 I'm inside the prime of my entire life, and I intend to make one of the most of it. I'm fed up with my slim friends getting the best guys. I want to turn several heads myself. I want the interest and I desire to be taken heed of, and when I have to spend 1 year dieting - heck! I'm gonna do it. Last week I saw a pal of mine inside the hospital who lost a leg in a car crash. The doctors say it takes her 1 year to relearn how to walk. Now that is tough. By comparison, my journey is simple. And provided that I keep reminding myself on this, I'll be fine.

Points To Remember

1. A meals are an outing from A to B.

2. Feeling bored is a sign were losing our direction.

3. When we lose direction we need to regain it, fast!

4. The way to regain direction is usually to remind yourself why you are dieting.

5. You are dieting because you want something a lot better than a plate of fattening food.

Getting Help To Lose Weight

Changing our diet regime is much easier when we get support from people. So ensure your web weight reduction plan includes membership of an forum. Because only people can provide you the kind of encouragement you may need to accomplish your own weight-loss goals.