#universe rlly does need to stop doing this to me

[blitz0hno]

MY MOTHER SAID THE WILDEST THING TO ME TODAY ABOUT WORK LMAO yes I made it look like the Evil Website for kicks

> be Me(Me)

> calling my mom for mother's day like a good son

> happy casual chat

> she asks about Work

> start Ranting about how self-respect seems to be Punished in the Workplace

> gets hit with this banger quote

> "Honey, sometimes you have to get all that frustration into a bag and leave it in your car when you go to work ❤️"

> frustration.gif

> smashing it into smaller pieces for easier bagging

> "chat what did she mean when she said this"

I AM NOT MIKOTO MILGRAM I AM NOT MIKOTO MILGRAM I'M NOT JOHN MILGRAM EITHER I AM A FILTHY AMERICAN GOD DAMNIT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

[landoslvr]

MRS CHRIS | c. dixon

summary: a scroll through your internet presence as 'mrs chris'. [social media AU.]

pairing: fem!reader x chris dixon (chrismd)

faceclaim: eva meloche

notes: first piece for mrs chris out of the wag universe. eva is gonna be the main fc I use for mrs chris, hopefully you like it!

liked by taliamar, faithlouisak and 4,398 others

yourinstagram charity match this week, plus some other fun tidbits

view all 129 comments

user that outfit 🤩

user I knew she was a rhode girly 💅

taliamar soooo pretty 🤍🤍🤍

stephan_tries the only person who is safe from my slander in the commentary box

yourinstagram it's because without me you would've been cancelled a loooooong time ago

stephan_tries best pr manager in the biz

user my idol tbh

user you radiate good energy

chrismd10 another day, another slay 😚

yourinstagram please never speak again

liked by yourinstagram, wroetoshaw and 180,837 others

chrismd10 there's norway this is my job

view all 398 comments

faithlouisak my daughter's gonna see that picture one day

user get y/n on it now!!!

user creating more work for y/n by posting ethan's ass pics

user couple goals 😩💅

user when he makes her job harder 🤩🤩🤩

user chris hitting the glow-up hard 🤤

user y/n knew what his potential was 🤍

user they started dating and he just got hotter??

user that harry shot was lethal 🫣

user sick video 👍🏽

yourinstagram why must you do this to me? do you hate me?

behzinga I'm sorry

yourinstagram I'm letting you go

chrismd10 sorry mate

yourinstagram you're next md

liked by miniminter, chrismd10 and 4,982 others

yourinstagram norway for the week <3 at shoots and scrubbing ass pics from the internet 🫶🏼

view all 187 comments

user she's just so pretty 🫠

chrismd10 good luck with that 🫣

yourinstagram you can explain to olive why her dad's bum is all over the internet one day christopher

faithlouisak aunty y/n would NEVER do that to her beloved neice

yourinstagram my literal baby girl 😭

user y/n drinking wine to ignore her boyfriend and other clients being stupid

user literally every person in the new video, apart from danny, is a part of y/n's client base

user how does she do this shit

user girl has managed to stop HARRY LEWIS from getting cancelled, I'm convinced she can do anything

liked by georgeclarkeey, freyanightingale and 5,019 others

yourinstagram mixing work with pleasure apparently..

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user EAT HIM UP Y/N

user in the words arthur television: she gagged him

calfreezy send kart 21 down the river

user chris on a ladder is so funny to me 😭

maxbalegde sexy pr lady, come over right NOW, you look too good to not be at my place of residence

yourinstagram be right there xx

user casual london fashion week pic on the 2nd slide x

yourinstagram humble bragging 😩

user I want her life 😭😭

user ikr literally hanging out with all your friends because you manage their image? sign me up

yourinstagram rlly easy guys, just date a famous youtuber and have a media and communications degree xxxx just so easy!!

chrismd10 never forget where you came from.. me

yourinstagram okay mr arsenal bedsheets x

liked by chrismd10, willne and 5,193 others

yourinstagram I got my Greece trip- I mean video... and got to pick which extras to bring along......

view all 287 comments

user quick everyone act shocked that chris is there

user oh my gosh.. no way, chris? I am so surprised

yourinstagram I appreciate the effort guys 🥲

user she just is that bitch 😭

user you know she's got every single one of those men wrapped around her finger

arthurtv i wasn't one of the chosen ones 💔

yourinstagram because im tired of you and chris sharing a bed and me sleeping on the hotel couch

chrismd10 foiled again arthur

calfreezy send me this pic you traitor

user pr manager/photographer

yourinstagram I need a pay rise

chrismd10 thanks for stowing me away in your suitcase xx

user she's mothering I love it

user so hot

user major fitty ❤️‍🔥🤩

taliamar so true

liked by yourinstagram, freyanightingale and 178,399 others

chrismd10 constantly reminding me who she is in that first photo. happiest of birthdays to my pr manager and nothing else!

view all 412 comments

user happy birthday y/n the pr manager!!

user a y/n photo dump is my favourite kind!!

user spoil us chris!!

wroetoshaw happy birthday y/n!

faithlouisak my wife's birthday 🤩

ksi happy birthday to the goat

user chris and y/n be sappy challenge

callux the queen! happy birthday!!

vikkstagram happy birthday mrs chris!! thanks for everything

yourinstagram thank your lucky stars you posted all nice pictures or I would've deleted your youtube channel xxxx

user Y/N PLEASE 😭

[osarina]

honestly the most tragic relationship in civzai/pmreader universe is yosano & reader and i will stand on that hill forever.

like originally i was thinking maybe they only rarely interacted while on tokoyami island, but the more that i thought about it, the more i realized that they probably did interact frequently. mori would've wanted his "immortal regiment" as soon as possible and to have it perfected, he needed reader's ability to be able to "heal" the soldiers' minds. so mori would've likely had yosano try to help her figure out how to work her ability. they would have been friendly enough with each other, the only two young girls in the warzone, both dragged into this war in some manner or another, yosano probably saw her as a younger sister tbh being 3 years older, wanted to help her as best as she could.

and then mori does mori things. when yosano's help doesn't give him the progress he needs, he starts using other tactics to try to get her to develop her ability in the way he needs. starts comparing her to yosano, starts holding her place at his side over her head, threatens to send her back if she can't be useful. all things that a kid in her situation would be terrified of.

and like you guys have to understand pmreader does NOT have a reliable narration of those years. like we'll see it in the canonverse & the civzai verse (which is actually what stemmed this post), but her memories of those years are very warped courtesy of trauma & mori's manipulation. it all happens directly after she watches her entire village slaughtered in the crossfires of the great war so she's already very unstable, and mori gets in her head VERY quickly.

so she thinks back to these years and can only remember the threats of being dropped back off in the ruins of her village & the way mori held yosano as a type of idealized figure that she'd never be able to catch up to no matter how hard she tried. "be more useful like yosano and you can keep your place here" and stuff like that. she doesn't have like ANY memory of the months yosano spent trying to help her figure out her ability, doesn't remember how she would sit with her for hours and tell her that she's making good progress even when mori would give that disappointed frown, doesn't remember anything because its all been warped and twisted by moris' constant threats and comparison. so naturally she becomes resentful and hateful about it.

meanwhile, poor yosano only remembers the 7/8 year old girl she tried & failed to help, couldn't do anything when mori separated them and turned reader against yosano. yosano got off of the warfront and out from under mori's thumb, but reader didn't, and yosano has had so much guilt over it for years, living in the what ifs and wondering what ever happened to her.

and obviously mori's manipulations of reader never stopped after that—probably gets worse, even, because he would lament losing yosano while keeping reader, would've preferred the opposite. so when reader and yosano meet again years later, reader immediately rejects and spurns her, and yosano is just soooo distraught over it like the one person that could rlly truly fully understand her rejecting her in such a manner HURTS. hurts even more when she sees how reader has turned out so similar to mori bc she still remembers her as the kid she was and failed to protect.

i suppose while we're on the topic - i always get a lot of questions about reader and mori's relationship. dazai kind of mentions it in 'i laugh like me again,' but reader has like undying loyalty toward him that he definitely doesn't deserve. as shitty of one as he is, he's the only father figure she remembers, she still feels like she owes him her life for rescuing her from the warzone and has a VERY intense complex of trying to make him proud of her. i wouldn't say that mori doesn't care about her, he does in his own way, but whatever feelings he does have for her are overshadowed by his ambitions.

anyway tldr: yosano and reader are tragic, and mori is a cunt. i feel like im missing stuff concerning reader's and mori's relationship but that wasn't the point of this post anyway maybe ill make it its own post

[wendytestabrat]

the main problem with kyle in the new episodes

ok this is what RLLY bothers me abt kyle in modern south park ESPECIALLY in seasons 24-26 and i think a lot of people are getting annoyed with this shit too. i hate how they’ve been showing repeatedly how cartman’s getting better and acting nicer in the new episodes so like why TF is kyle still being a dick to him and treating him like a monster???? i mean for YEARS kyle has been going out of his way to help cartman and change cartman and making it clear he wants cartman to be a better person and make better choices, so then when cartman finally does he’s just like 😴. like idc if u ship kyman or not it’s rlly out of character for kyle. they’re still canonically close friends so it feels like a missed opportunity for character development on kyle’s end for them not to show kyle reciprocating or appreciating cartman doing better. i guess it’s bc matt & trey are trying to show kyle has been the toxic one and the jealous snake friend all along, but still even tho kyle is an asshole they don’t have to make him THAT big of an asshole. i think a lot of people like seeing kyle’s caring codependent side come out bc that’s the good side of kyle as a person how big-hearted and empathetic he can be. and there def have been some modern episodes where they DO get this right like especially in “the streaming wars” when kyle helped cartman out with his mom’s ‘surgery’ (even tho kyle deadass only helps cartman or feels bad for him when cartman is lying just to fuck himself over which i had talked abt before how he always gets the timing wrong with cartman for those who are caught up on your wendytestabrat lore). i also feel like an episode that DEF got things right with kyle was “help my teenager hates me” from s25. i loved that moment where cartman was crying abt how everything sucks and he lives in a hot dog and kyle is just like “ru okay cartman?” like bitch we need more moments like THAT. even if kyman doesn’t happen, idc like i just wanna see more moments of kyle being a good friend to cartman back (bc they def have given us A LOT of moments of cartman being there for kyle) is that too much to ask? but yeah in the images i used above are from the specials “post covid” (part 1), “south parq vaccination special”, “not suitable for children” and “joining the panderverse” and in literally every single one of these specials kyle’s being a dick and jumping down cartman’s throat when he aint doing anything wrong lol. in post covid he’s all mad at cartman for being a rabbi, even tho we all know cartman wasn’t faking it and was genuinely happy. in “south parq vaccination special” he gets all pissy throughout the whole thing when all cartman is trying to do is save the broship, in “not suitable for children” he’s getting all mad at cartman for making his own cred affinity group which last i checked aint a crime (and we all know he was just mad bc cartman wasn’t letting him in the group), and in “joining the panderverse” he’s getting all mad and annoyed over cartman being replaced by a black woman and he acts like cartman is making it up even tho cartman was telling the truth and there was this real parallel universe shit happening. like this shit needs to stop it’s getting soooo old and all it’s doing is making kyle unlikable af and annoying everyone who used to love kyle lol. like ok we get it matt & trey kyle can be just as toxic as cartman, now can we also see that he can be just as caring and nice as cartman too?

and btw this is why there have been less kyman rants:

[venusandsaturnsrings]

Cute chubby warm little reader with her disgusting incel bf Ajax :(( Ajax is always admiring her perfect chubby thighs, cute tummy and big breasts:((( he just can't help himself she's just SO cute always greeting him with a smile and excitement and even doing little jumps when extra happy<3 or maybe even incel bf with her she's just so sweet and innocent yk! So polite, sweet and well trained :(( she'd make such a cute little house wife for him not having to worry about anying from money to what's happening around her :(((

(I COULDNT FIND RULES OR IF YOU WERE OPEN SORRY)

hehehe anon u know EXACTLY what i crave what i desire <33 yucky icky incel childe and his cute soft lil gf he foams at the mouth over <3 bee tee dubs, i don’t rlly have rules n such!! ppl can send me whatever whenever n i’ll probably respond at some point maybe!! i have month old things in ma inbox n drafts whoopsies!! but i was quick with urs bc incel childe <3 ^u^ blurb btc!!

Ajax is… slimy. gross. greasy. he’s what most would turn their noses up at but you didn’t. it almost felt as though you pitied him with the way your already doe eyes softened towards him. he knew you let him into your heart and that should’ve been enough but… he had to stay there. had to carve out an Ajax shaped hole to rest for eternity. you were his most beloved and to let you go was a crime, one only punishable by death.

your hands are soft, he notes. softer than his boobie mousepad, softer than his body pillows, softer than… other things. Ajax wants to hold them forever. he adores when you cling to him, wrap yourself around his hand or arm, and stay there like it’s your home. he thinks it’s just adorable the way you giggle and smile up at him, swaying around and chattering away about something that he isn’t listening to because god you look so kissable right now. he wants to kiss you until you’ve both passed out from lack of air and love shared. your lips belong against him in all sorts of ways but right now they should be on his own though, he can’t bring himself to end whatever rant your on for it would stop the sweet melody of your voice. Ajax comforts himself saying he’ll have plenty other chances to kiss you.

he spoils you to bits. his sweet girl is fawning over a little trinket or a new dress? consider it yours! any money spent is worth it to see the happy claps and bounces you respond with and that adorable smile on your face. he’d run his bank account dry, which is nearly impossible, if it equated to seeing your joy.

and oh, your body. he’d love you in any form but your squish tummy and tits? good luck prying his hands from you, you’ll need the jaws of life to get out. Ajax adores being able to nap on your just as squishy thighs while kneading your stomach and breasts like a cat. you’re his own personal stress ball!

Ajax adores his sweet little wifey. he’d go to the end of the universe and back should you request it. <3

[royrockstone]

I’m so obsessed with everything you write, you understand Roman so well and I look forward to every update of the water runs off your skin extended universe. I don’t have any specific asks but if you could share any thoughts you have about Roman and his food issues and i would be so happy

HI HELLO thank you for swinging by the inbox <3 and ty for reading!

obviously i could talk about this for a rlllly long time (and have!) so these are just various thoughts that have been bouncing around in my skull

im rlly into the idea, esp right now, of the eating disorder functioning as a way to "have his own identity" and have a thing thats secret and just belongs to him and has nothing to do with logan, which gives him a sense of mastery over his body and the world-- and then realizing (or not realizing) that its always actually been about logan, about being worthy of care and attention, about being in control and not needing things, about being a plausible heir because he's proven his "strength." everything is about logan, everything loses its meaning without him.

in my head the food issues are canon but not canon-- v roman its-a-joke-except-its-not. (am i delulu for this? idk) i feel like kieran does give it a little play with his acting choices, and atp the writers directors and editors are aware that that's his interpretation so im allowing myself to lie to myself about this.

i do rlly like the interpretation of his Issues where he, rather than eating Staple Anorexic Foods like diet coke or rice cakes or whatever, he just picks at Manly Foods or stops eating altogether. this works fantastically thematically (masculinity and abstention and whatnot) but im super guilty of straying from this bc i like the narrative space that just like having him show obvious textbook Signs and Symptoms gives me. that being said he does eat A Lot of fruit and thats safe food coded

i also think its totally valid to think roman is unconscious/in abject denial of his ed. like theres certainly a version of him that would never use those words and couldn't admit it to himself that i buy. but i prefer the Self Aware But Can't Change version (also like its hard to write 100K+ about a guy who can't name the problem. a better writer than me could probably do it lol)

TY for the question it took me a while to form coherent thoughts bc theres sm there

[lisimcpisi]

Ok this might be going into more fantasy territory but I can’t stop thinking about that one episode from Steven Universe where Steven meets an illusion of his mom. Imagine Quasi dreaming that he’s meeting his mom and crying the whole time because he never experienced maternal affection in his life 😭😭😭

Quasi experiencing that “your name” type shit where even thought he doesn’t even remember what his mom looks like, he knows its her in his dream because mother son bonds 🥺🥺🥺

I’m stuck on whether or not his mother was like this guardian angel that watched Quasi and saw everything and essentially watched her son suffer or if she’s been stuck in like purgatory or smthn and he needs to catch her up on his life

Quasi’s mom would probably refer to him as “my son” or “my child” since Quasimodo wasn’t the name she chose for him. 

She basically explains that she was part of a community of Romani somewhere else in Europe, but we’re driven out of their home and needed to flee. Her brother had heard of an underground sanctuary for Romani in Paris (the court of miracles) so they set their sites there, in the hopes they would be welcomed. One night when they set up camp, Quasi’s mom found him in a basket drifting along the river and begged the others to keep the baby, to which they reluctantly agreed, on the condition that she be the one to take care of the baby.

Over the next few months of travel, the two form a mother-son bond. 

Even though they’re so happy to see each other, he keeps asking her so many questions like “did you really want me or was I a burden” and “oh my god Frollo made me believe all this horrible shit about you why aren’t you mad” that just break her heart

He feels rlly guilty about his mother’s death because he realized she must’ve had a family and home before he came along and feels like he’s responsible for her death

His mom gives him the simplest answers like “because I love you” or some sappy stuff because it really is just that. She loved him and would do anything in her power to protect him

Even though simple replies like that aren’t enough, he just keeps weeping in her arms out of pure relief that he finally knows he not only had a mom and was loved by her, but knows that he was loved before Frollo.

When he wakes up from his dream his eyes are read and his face is soaked with tears. He wastes no time carving a new figure of his mom with the muddled and quickly fading image of her in his mind

how does my brain come up with the most heartbreaking shit ever oh well now you get to suffer :))

[lotusthewriter]

Papercut

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: T

Relationships: Steven & Lars; MINOR - Steven & The Cool Kids, Steven & Sadie, Lars/Sadie

Characters: Steven Quartz Universe, Lars Barriga, The Cool Kids, Sadie Miller; MENTIONED - The Crystal Gems, Connie Maheswaran

Summary: Steven has been feeling anxious and he realizes it gets worse when he's alone. So, he tries not to be.

Word count: 3.965

AO3

A/N: Originally published online last week, I just didn't get to post here. This is mainly me venting my anxiety attacks as of late.

I also personally see Steven having BPD, just throwing this here if anyone finds it relevant.

TRIGGER WARNINGS - anxiety and/or panic attacks, hallucination, emotional neglect, abandonment issues, self-hatred, and brief mention of suicidal thoughts.

DO NOT SHIP LARS AND STEVEN.

P/roship DNI.

--

“Anxiety”.

A word Connie has mentioned. It’s a medical term that she taught Steven after what happened to them as Stevonnie. Connie, with her mother’s knowledge, took Garnet’s advice to heart and she gets to manage her anxiety whenever it hits.

Two years later, Steven still hasn’t been able to feel better.

Flexibility, love, and trust.

Flexibility, love, and trust.

Flexibility,

Love,

And

TRUST.

Steven glows pink instead.

Thus, he goes to Garnet to ask for more tips, to know if she could try to help… but the gem tells Steven that he’s the only one who knows the answers. That he should seek them himself. Pearl and Amethyst, who wait for Garnet to head out to Little Homeschool for yet another fieldtrip, agreed indifferently.

Steven can’t even say anything before the three of them are gone in the light of the warp pad, so bright that he feels like it’s going to attack him.

Then, everything is empty.

He only stares at the void like he’s fourteen again.

Just that worsens the ache in his chest, his pink fists clutching his shirt.

Steven rushes back to his safe place, his room, before things get ugly and he goes ballistic, and he grabs his phone to do some research on anxiety. He finds quite a lot of resources.

Since then, he’s trying.

With the gems away to who knows where, and his father also out of town, Steven tries to get by on his own.

(As usual.)

…

But nothing works.

Steven does everything correctly. List five things you can sense. Distract yourself with things you like – watch a movie or a series or funny videos, read a book, listen to music or even podcasts. Breathe. Hug your pillow. Hang out with your friends–

Oh.

He… hasn’t done that in a while.

Steven can’t, though. Everyone is busy and it’s not like they should stop what they’re doing to be with him, right? Right.

Distract yourself.

Distract yourself.

Distract yourself…

Suddenly, a notification.

New texts… from Lars? How long has it been since they last talked? Maybe he needs help with something?

Anyway.

Lars: hey steven, it’s been a while right?

Lars: idk if your busy, but sadie and the cool kids are back in town and we thought of making a lil party

Lars: i know it’s kinda in the last hour so it’s ok if you can’t make it or if you don’t wanna go, but it’d be rlly cool if you came

Lars: but it’s your call of course

Steven looks at the above, wondering if this was predestined. It feels too perfect.

He hasn’t seen his friends in forever.

He types quickly:

Steven: omg I’d love to!!

Steven: I miss you guys sooo much

(Why does it feel like a lie, somehow?)

Lars: aw, we miss ya too buddy

Lars: i miss you coming to the BD to bug me every morning (followed by a pleading emoji)

Steven: Gee, Captain Lars, didn’t know you loved me that much (eyes emoji)

Lars: i was joking.

Steven: Were you really? :3

Lars: ok now your making me regret inviting you

Steven: Noooooo, come on!!

Lars: lmao

Lars: srsly now. 8 at my place, ok?

Steven: Perfect! I’ll see you there! ^^

Lars: (finger gun emojis)

Steven sighs, feeling so… light all of a sudden. Just this one interaction with Lars seems to have calmed him down a little.

The half-gem feels relieved. So relieved.

He can actually get out there and have fun with his friends, catch up with their lives, laugh together, share something tasty to eat…

(And he gets to distract himself from his rising dread.)

(To finally not be reminded how painfully alone he is.)

Well, it’s still 2 PM. From what Dad told him, Sadie and the Cool Kids are going to arrive at 6 PM… so Steven still needs to do something else to keep his mind busy. Maybe cook or bake something for the party. He doesn’t remember Lars mentioning a potluck, but Steven wants to do something nice for his friends nonetheless.

What is he going to cook or bake, then?

…

Or maybe…

--

“... don’t tell me I inspired you with my nostalgia.”

“You could say that,” Steven smirks at Lars’ statement, while holding two huge boxes of donuts with all the flavors he could remember his friends enjoying. As well as…

“You brought salad, too?” Sadie notices, almost wanting to laugh.

“Yeah, like Buck ordered once.”

“Heh, I appreciate your dedication, Steven.” Buck pats his back proudly.

“We miss our favorite roadie,” Sour Cream says, ruffling the younger boy’s curly hair.

Steven’s heart, instead of anguish, is filled with warmth.

“Awe, you guys are going to make me cry,” he jokes.

“Us too! This was so sweet of you, Steven,” Jenny compliments. “I’m glad you could make it!”

“I know every friend says this and it doesn’t always happen… but we should really hang out more,” Buck says, in his same stoic expression. “I love you guys.”

“Yeah, same,” Steven grins affectionately.

It’s a much more casual party this time, which is the best kind of party after such busy times. Lars’ backyard is lit by those small, spherical yellow lights, and everyone sits by the huge picnic table that replaces Lars’ trampoline. Besides the donuts, you can see Lars’ pastries, and apparently snacks that Sadie and the Cool Kids brought from their last tour.

They sing and play some songs together, they laugh at the stories from concerts, outer space, and Little Homeworld… Steven gets to hear more about their lives and how happy they are.

But most importantly, they’re very happy to share it with him.

Which is such an honor.

Steven is genuinely having a good time.

Perhaps the first time in so long…

He’s so happy to be a part of this.

…

The boy’s phone vibrates in his pocket.

He casually checks it, not bothered by it interrupting his immersion in the party. He’s not expecting much, when…

He sees that it’s the gems.

Steven and his family have countless groups for Little Homeschool, and then they have their own private group, just the four of them.

Pearl has sent him a rather quick and dry text informing him of their absence for the next…

Two months.

…

Two months.

Two.

Months.

And no, Steven can’t do anything to stop it.

Because he tries to text them. He sends a million desperate texts.

And his pleads are never answered. And they will never be, because the messages aren’t even sent .

He goes to all their private numbers, and nothing.

Steven calls them, to no avail. There’s not even the option for voicemail.

Bismuth, Lapis, and Peridot are on their own separate fieldtrips as well, so it’s useless to try to call them.

No one is reachable.

No one.

No one.

“... Steven. Steven?”

The half-gem only gets a little startled at Lars standing next to him, and bearing the most concerned expression Steven has seen him with. He also realizes everyone else has stopped talking.

“O-Oh, sorry,” he laughs nervously, quickly putting away his phone. “It was nothing.”

“Is everything okay?” Jenny asks.

“You looked like someone died,” Sour Cream observes, also worried.

“No, no, nobody died.” Well, except Lars , Steven would’ve darkly added. “It’s– It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?” Sadie questions.

“Yeah.” Steven’s dread returns to his chest, his hands beginning to shake. He hides them in his pockets, which doesn’t help since he feels his cell phone and it’s the thing that ruined everything. He’s doing everything not to turn pink. “I’m sure,” he mumbles.

Everyone looks at one another, unsure. Steven wants to scream.

“Hey,” Lars whispers, putting a hand on Steven’s back. “Do you want to go inside a bit?”

The latter hates that he likes the soothing touch, yet he’s also afraid the former is going to notice Steven is shaking, so he dodges it much to his own dismay.

“It’s okay, Lars,” Steven mumbles, wanting to cry.

He avoids everyone’s eyes, his hand almost crushing his phone into pieces inside his pocket. He’d love to throw this darned thing into the depths of the ocean.

“Sorry, I ruined the moment, didn’t I?” Steven laughs darkly.

“No, Steven, it’s okay,” Sadie reassures him. “You don’t need to talk about it if you don’t want to, okay?”

“Yeah, man, no worries,” Sour Cream agrees.

Despite that, the party does grow a little quieter. It feels like the emptiness of his house.

Of course. He screwed everything up. Again.

Now they don’t want anything to do with him.

(Like the gems. Like everyone else.)

Steven at least gets to resume his laugh and his smiles, because he’s always been so good at them.

Time goes by…

And they start leaving.

Because obviously, nothing lasts forever.

Jenny is the first one who leaves, and she gives Steven the biggest hug. It doesn’t smell like pizza anymore, instead it’s a sweet scent. It’s different but nice. But too quick.

Sour Cream and Buck leave together. The former sidehugs Steven, while the latter gently tells him to take care of himself, and to always count on them whenever he needs. Steven smiles and nods, without any honesty.

Lastly, Sadie, Lars, and Steven… the original trio. It’s been so long, Sadie and Lars are a lot more comfortable around each other nowadays, holding hands under the table. Steven would’ve fanboyed at another time when he sees Sadie casually kissing Lars’ cheek, causing her boyfriend to go pinkier than what should be possible.

Sadie’s hug, though, is longer than everyone else’s goodbyes.

“It was nice seeing you, Steven,” she grins with some melancholy. “Don’t forget we love you, okay?”

Steven doesn’t believe her, but he plasters a smile on his face just to please her.

“Okay,” he replies simply.

Sadie is convinced, and walks away.

Finally, it’s just him.

The only one left.

Lars is quiet.

Steven knows what he’s going to say.

And before Lars does, the sixteen-year-old puts his distraction in action.

“Oh, do you need help cleaning?” He asks.

“Uh, there’s… not a lot to do.”

“Yeah, but like, I could help with the trash.”

“Steven, it’s fine.”

“No, really, I–”

“Why don’t you go home and rest?” Lars isn’t even being rude, he’s genuinely suggesting it because he can tell Steven isn’t fine.

But going home is not going to help.

It’s the last thing Steven needs.

“Don’t worry, Lars, I can do this!” Steven grins widely and already moves to the table to take the remains of food and plastic, as well as the donut boxes.

He can hear Lars sighing in the back.

(Steven hates himself. Obviously Lars doesn’t want him here.)

(But Steven can’t go back.)

(He can’t go back.)

Indeed, there’s not a lot of work to do. Lars washes whatever dishes he needed for the baking part, while Steven takes care of the trash. There are huge trash bins in the yard, so he easily finishes the job.

… it’s over.

He does more.

Steven seeks out any trash he can find to fill the larger bin, both in the kitchen and the restroom.

“Dude, what are you doing?” Lars asks from afar.

“I’m helping!”

“But you’re done taking out the stuff from the party, aren’t you? Why are you taking out the trash from my house?”

“Because I want to help!”

Before Steven can go back outside, Lars stops him with a frowning face.

“Steven, you’re not okay,” the latter states seriously. “You need to go home.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I think you do. I don’t know what happened that you saw earlier, but you need to rest.”

“I don’t need rest.”

“Oh, you don’t?” Lars sounds sarcastic. “Like you’re not obsessively looking for stuff to do?”

“I’m not doing that!” Steven defends.

“Yeah, and I bet you’re not going to clean all the restrooms next. Or the windows. Or my entire bedroom–”

“Oh, haha , you are SO hilarious,” Steven rolls his eyes and tries to go outside again, only for Lars to step forward to make him go back. “Lars, let me go,” Steven warns.

“Will you at least tell me what’s going on?”

“I have nothing to say to you.”

“Alright, then go home.”

“No.”

“Don’t make me throw you inside my head myself.”

Steven boils. “Just let me do this for you, Lars!”

“I’m telling you you don’t have to!” Lars raises his voice.

“But I want to!”

“And I want you to be okay!”

“But I AM OKAY!”

“You wouldn’t be YELLING at me if you were!”

Steven growls in frustration, “Just let me go outside!”

“NO!”

He has had it.

The half-gem pushes Lars aside harshly, to the point of knocking the latter over, and Steven is too distraught to apologize for it. He rushes outside in the peaceful night.

“STEVEN!” Lars yells from inside the kitchen.

He just needs to do this.

He needs to distract himself, distract, distract, distract–

Steven opens the bin–

Noise.

Light.

Too much.

A swarm of white butterflies comes out of the trash bin, flying so loudly and so close that Steven falls backwards.

No.

Not them.

Not them again.

No. No. NO. NO. NO.

He thought he had it under control. He thought he would be okay. He thought…

Steven hides.

That’s all he can do.

He’s alone, alone, alone, alone.

(And he deserves it.)

…

“... can you hear me? Steven! Steven !”

He’s panting furiously, violently.

“Make it go away!” Steven cries.

“Make what go away?”

“EVERYTHING!”

He half regrets yelling, but Steven knows the butterflies are there, and no one else does.

“Steven…”

“Too much,” Steven speaks in between gasps, “too much, it’s too much, I-I can’t take this anymore!”

At this point, he’s aware that he’s pink and he can’t repress it any longer. It’s consuming his every thought, every part of his body.

“I can’t… I can’t…” Steven heaves.

Whoever is there must have left, right?

Steven is helpless. Hopeless.

…

“Steven, can I touch you?”

Oh… they’re still there.

“Is that okay?�� They ask.

Steven doesn’t want to look back. He doesn’t want to see it all.

But…

“... y-yeah,” he hiccups, “okay.”

“Okay. I’m just- gonna help you sit, alright? Are you hurt?”

Steven shakes his head, unsure if it was meant to answer the question.

Either way, he feels hands on him, at first trying to remind Steven that they’re real. The hands are gentle. Scarred, rough, but gentle and slow. Their long fingers are a history of cooking cuts. Steven doesn’t know how he can tell all these details, but he does.

“Easy…” the sixteen-year-old is gradually being moved to sit.

But he knows that he’ll be closer to the butterflies.

“WAIT!” Steven yells in panic.

“What?” The other person stops immediately, but still gets a hold on him.

“I-I don’t want… I don’t…” Steven can’t even say the right words, so they come out as, “I don’t wanna die…”

Well, they’re still kind of true.

“Hey, you’re not going to die.”

“I don’t want to…”

“You’re not. I’m here,” Lars – Lars Barriga, perhaps the best person to deal with someone in this situation – promises. “I’m here, Steven.”

You’ve got nothing to fear

I’m here, I’m here, I’m here.

…

Whimpering.

“I don’t wanna go home.”

He gets silence.

“I d-don’t wanna go h-home,” Steven cries like a little kid after a nightmare. “I-It’s so… empty… so…”

“Lonely?”

Steven nods painfully.

“You’re not going to be alone, okay? I won’t let that happen.”

Lars sounds so sure, and the way he’s rubbing Steven’s shoulders… it brings the latter shivers. The good kind of shivers.

And tears. So many of them. All the tears that he has swallowed and never released them.

Steven clings to his friend, who squeezes him in return, the hug as rough and tender as his mere touch.

“I’ve got you, buddy,” Lars reassures him. “I’m not going anywhere.”

It only makes Steven sob harder, purely out of relief. It’s so ironic, but so true.

He cries for a good couple of minutes or hours, smelling vanilla and butter in Lars’ clothes, not minding the dirty apron the baker is wearing at all. Steven wants to absorb that smell and make it his home, because it feels so safe that he doesn’t want it to go away. He doesn’t want the hands to let him go ever again.

And it feels like Lars wants to protect him from the world, from whatever horrible thing that made Steven like this. Even if he can’t see the butterflies, Lars still seems to shield Steven from them.

Just that has the half-gem finally face reality, finding the butterflies roaming there, endlessly coming out of the trash bin. As Steven expected.

However, with Lars holding him right now, Steven doesn’t feel so overwhelmed anymore.

So… this is what he needed.

He gets now.

Thus, the butterflies finally end and they fly to the sky above, replacing the stars. They will never disappear, as he already knew.

Steven relaxes significantly, like he’s going to pass out in the hug. He lets out a shaky breath while Lars hugs him tightly in response, knowing that it’s the perfect kind of tightness for Steven.

Lars also breathes in and out deeply, squeezing the boy some more.

“Come on,” he whispers, “let’s go inside.”

This time, Steven accepts it, glowing pink and everything.

--

“... I’m sorry,” he sniffs. “I’m sorry I snapped at you like that.”

Lars sighs, but in regret. “I’m sorry, too. For being a jerk to you.”

Neither of them give excuses.

Steven contemplates the night sky from the skyscrapers, aware he can see the butterflies from there. In the meantime, Lars holds him as Steven has no energy left to cling.

“I hate feeling like this,” the younger teen vents, “it just keeps getting worse with time.”

“So you’ve had this before?”

Steven nods. “I-I’ve tried everything to make it better. Garnet taught me and Connie how to deal with our problems, and it worked for Connie… but not for me. And I asked Garnet for help, but instead she just gave me a life lesson and Pearl and Amethyst didn’t even care, and they LEFT ME without ANYTHING!” Steven snaps, only for him to cover his mouth and freeze, scared he might have startled Lars.

Lars, however, doesn’t look scared of him at all.

Instead, sad. Maybe angry, but not at Steven.

“So yeah, I’m expected to do everything on my own, I’m used to it!” Steven continues, more furious. “I looked it up online, since Connie told me about ‘anxiety’, and I did everything they taught me to manage it, but nothing soothes my chest, nothing calms me down… I think I only felt good when you invited me, and I got to see you guys again. I haven’t felt this happy in so long, a-and then OBVIOUSLY, something always has to RUIN it for me.”

He tears up again, his eyes burning pink and red.

“I-I… I got a text from the gems that they’re going to be gone for two months , a-and I couldn’t reach them. Because they’d already left. EVERYONE left. T-They all left me .”

Lars doesn’t say anything, choosing to hug Steven closer, nuzzling his black curls, doing everything to make sure Steven feels loved and cared for.

“Why does everyone leave me?” The half-gem asks.

Except Steven knows why.

He’s selfish. Useless. Clingy.

He doesn’t say any of these things, yet Lars pulls away just slightly with a stern look.

“Steven,” the older teen begins seriously, “listen to me, you don’t deserve to be abandoned, okay? No kid in the world deserves to be abandoned or neglected; they deserve to be reminded every single day that they’re loved in all the ways possible. You didn’t fail anyone by existing. I know everyone out there”– Lars gestures at the above –“made you believe that, but they’re WRONG.”

There’s some kind of ferocity in Lars’ words, the same one Steven heard back when the boys were abducted to Homeworld – firstly when Lars refused to leave the ship without Steven, and then when he convinced Steven to return home instead of sticking with Lars and the Off Colors.

A sense of protection, perhaps.

Steven feels warm inside, which he feels ashamed of for some reason, and at the same time it hurts. Which makes no sense, because it’s the good kind of hurt. What kind of hurt is good?

Still, the glowing boy’s eyes are only filled with more water.

Noticing that, Lars gently wipes some of it for him.

“You don’t have to be useful, Steve,” he says tenderly. “You don’t have to be self-sufficient, you don’t have to be strong all the time. You deserve to have someone, and you deserve to have someone when you feel the whole weight of the galaxy crushing you.”

Steven sniffs, contemplative.

Lars’ words are believable. Steven has always trusted him, and has always thought the world of him. Steven loved Lars from the beginning, embracing every little part of him, the weight that he also carried.

Still… one question keeps haunting Steven every single day, every single night.

“... do you think they would treat my mom like this if I weren’t here?”

Lars immediately tenses, immobile like a doll. Not a corpse, but a doll.

Steven, admittedly, asked that to himself. He knows Lars won’t have the answers. He can’t speak for the gems. It feels cruel to Lars, who’s just trying his best to help a friend in need.

The silence this time is not comforting. Steven fears he ruined everything again.

“Steven?” Lars suddenly sounds… fragile.

When the younger boy looks up, he sees a teary Lars already staring back.

“I love you,” the latter tells him.

The broken way he says it…

“Whenever you feel unloved, whenever you feel alone or whenever the gems fuck off to wherever they go without a trace,”– Steven’s eyes widen at the word choice –“I want you to remember that I love you, and that you’re always welcome here. There’s always food and life here, no emptiness at all. And you can always go see me at Spacetries and we can have a coffee and chat like the old days, or if we can’t see each other in person for any reason, you can call me. I can always teleport, too. I can do literally anything to help you, Steven, and I want to help you, because I love you , okay?”

Lars is cupping his cheeks like they’re precious, wiping Steven’s tears and crying his own. Like Lars is the one crying for him now, feeling his pain for him.

“I’m here for you. I’ll always be here, no matter how, no matter what,” he insists.

Steven is too speechless to react.

He realizes, though…

He stops glowing pink.

And he forgets everything else, with how genuine Lars’ love is.

Steven merely lies down against his friend, who covers him properly with his blanket. Lars caresses the boy’s black hair, in the same way that Steven has always craved for, even if it reminded him of bad memories.

It’s perfect just the way it is. Perfect in every way, just like you.

He doesn’t want Lars to ever stop.

He doesn’t want this to ever be gone.

But Lars won’t leave him. He will make sure Steven never feels anxious or useless on his own again.

And Steven…

“... I love you, too,” he whispers.

Lars tightens his arms around him, this time sniffing. If he cries on Steven’s head, neither of them talk about it.

It stays between them.

[laladellakang]

here for my ree appreciation ask because you deserve to hear more of it 😤🩷🩷🩷 but anyway!! as a writer i know it gets rlly touch to put out works, especially when we never seem to be satisfied with what we write!! but just wanted to thank you for always doing your best for us your readers and della!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷 maybe it’s that you don’t get the feedback that you want to hear, or that you’re very hard on yourself, but it’s okay if sometimes you feel a little down!! 🤍🤍🤍🤍 you’re no robot - you’re allowed to feel insecure and ask for reassurance!! but just remember that even tho you might sometimes doubt yourself, you have a thousand readers (and counting!) who love your work and the world you created with della 💖💖💖💖💖 your work does make a difference!! it touches people’s hearts and inspires people — myself included — because your writing creates an experience is real and heartfelt! it’s something you give your all into making, and we appreciate the work you put into it!! 💖🩷💖🩷💖🩷 SO THANK YOU REE FOR BEING THE BESTEST WRITER ON TUMBLR!! YOU AND DELLA ARE AMAZING AND SO ARE ALL YOUR CREATIONS 😊🫶

HI BBYYYY YOU'RE FILLED WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND SUPPORT I DON'T DESERVE THIS, THANK YOU SO MUCHH

i guess i feel a little down because of both and i really don't mind people not giving me feedback because, like i always say, you guys are here to read and indulge yourselves into this universe that i created so giving me messages and feedback isn't really something you need to do

i know so many people love della and the work i do but as i progress, i worry that what i write is still too cringey (because it really used to be omg but yknow, at least i had creativity) but i really really really appreciate these kind words and i hope you're doing well with mila as well. i heard you're taking a little break and i hope you get the rest you need and good luck with real world stuff bby! 🤍

YOU SAYING THE LAST CAPSLOCK BITS ARE MAKING ME TEAR UP. STOP OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH ILYYYYY 🤍 again and again, i'm really sorry if i sound so dry omg i'm so bad at doing this and i swear it's not you (my irl texts are so much worse than these)

I WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD DIAAAA, i wanna make all my readers proud but you literally see della as your MUSE so i really wanna work hard and give you (and also followers like @clar-iii @angie-x3 🦥anon you guys have been so patient with me, it's insane 😭😭) ilysm :(

[seefasters]

Regina spektor anon back at it again: the bj stuff w period of adjustment made me fucking crazy. The jealousy stuff, the jealousy stuff!! i had been so appalled and fascinated by how angry and dismissive bj was being about his own struggles in relation to others'. The stuff where he directly frames his absence from his family as uniquely worse than hawkeye's father. That seemed so unconscionably cruel. (Yet there is a way that he is a little bit right, cus he *is* missing crucial developmental stages in his daughter's life!!! He's very much in the wrong, but he is *just* right enough for u to get where he's coming from) Even more jarring was how physically volatile bj was being- something about punching hawkeye felt like such a crossed line. to me it felt like: theres no world where hawkeye punches back. He just lies there. It took really good, careful writing/acting to make someone behave as out of line as bj did and still come off as sympathetic. Mike Farrell really killed it, the monologue about how the first time erin called someone daddy it wasnt BJ.....

i rlly love bj, hes not necessarily my favorite character (Margaret Houlihan Nation rise), but he is probs the one i relate to the most. Hes an overachiever who is interpersonally easygoing and very invested in being *helpful* and behaving with integrity so he very capably plays emotional support while deferring his own needs perpetually. And he struggles a lot with envy, with an anxiety regarding missing out and running out of time. That line about being "so torn up with envy i almost hate him." re: radar and trapper slapped me in the face cus its a feeling i am so familiar with.

All of that repressed resentment and rage bubbles over in such a potently ugly way here, and i think it is so ugly *because* bj is usually such an easygoing yet morally upright guy. He is so invested in that version of himself that he refuses to deal with his own anger. Hawkeye, Margaret, and BJ are all Very repressed workaholics but in wildly different ways. Margaret allows herself to be snappish, overdisciplined, and aggressive. hawkeye turns everything into a joke and capitulates to bitter, cynical nihilism. BJ is too invested in his self image of casual kindness and morality to do either so consequently he has no outlet whatsoever- he just unexpectly explodes with rage every so often.

Also i was sort of curious about what you thought of this in relation to trapper actually. Like how bj differs as a friend to hawkeye, especially in this instance. Cus if i remember correctly trapper punched hawkeye in the face and it was sort of over the same thing! Trapper wanted to defect and a reason he gave is that he wanted to see his daughters. And that punch in the face was also harrowing, but the episodes/scenes in questjon play v differently while relating to eachother in fascinating ways. (Again heres an instance of hawkeyes closest companion visiting physical violence on him- violence that i dont think hawk would ever reciprocate)

I was curious of your thoughts.

hiiii!!

the trapper situation is slightly different in that a) he hits him with a duffel bag, not with his fist. still bad but probably hurts less and b) hawkeye does try to stop him and warns that he "doesn't want to use violence" which is like. he probably shouldve seen that coming. but tbh to me the trapper situation being played mostly for laughs and then dropped is just by virtue of it being in an early season. 1-3 had drama, but not like That. maybe if wayne rogers had stayed he'd get his own period of adjustment

in-universe though, i think that hawkeye was hit (and literally shoved aside) by both of his best friends because they wanted to return home that badly must've stung. because - yes, everyone wants to go home - but at some point its like is it the war or is it me lol. the man has enough abandonment issues as it is

i totally agree with your bj analysis! yes, bj is being a dick, but he's being a dick in such a natural way in this situation. it is so easy to forget that other people are suffering too when you're this disconnected from everything you've known

i think the core difference between hawkeye, margaret and bj is that margaret was born in the army and doesn't really have a civilian life to get back to, and hawkeye admitted to himself a long time ago that the war changed him and he's never going to be able to wash that off. but bj clings to his civilian life more than anyone in the 4077th (except maybe klinger - but he has different ways of showing it) and he refuses to even consider that the war could change him or his life. so when reality inevitably comes crashing down, he lashes out at people around him

[kokocharm]

HEY OP? I'M STARING AT YOU AFTER SEEING THAT HOLLOW KNIGHT AND SONIC CROSSOVER POST. STARING INTENTLY

I would LOVE to hear you talk about it

MY MY MY DEAR ANON, HOW I LOVE YOU FOR THIS QUESTION!!!!

This is an rp with my partner that we called "Ghost is an Evil Henchman" as a placeholder name, before it stuck. (Henchman in a gender neutral type of way, all the vessels are genderless)

The RP mainly follows Quirrel and Hornet after they crashland on the beach. The rp is set in strictly the Sonic Boom universe, since thats the only one i watched and i think at the time the one my partner liked the most. This rp is based around a LOT of my fanon so if you want an explanation on that, you know where to ask ^_^ !

Sonic and Sticks finds the two of them. Quirrel and Tails IMMEDIATELY become bffs and make silly inventions together i love them. Meanwhile Hornet is having a lot of anger issues, especially directed at Quirrel. Shes pissed because shes crazily worried about her only living siblings (which will be Ghost, the mc of the game, Hollow, and Lost, whos been reanimated by lifeblood). But her anger at Quirrel also runs way deeper, from a LOONg time ago

(Hornet and Quirrel had an argument about the Dreamers. Quirrel told her that the sacrifices are for nothing, that even Monomon agreed, and Hornet has been furious about it ever since. She doesnt want to think that her mothers death was for nothing.)

Eggman attacks and they have to stop Hornet from literally beheading him which i think its rlly funny

Anyways, wheres Ghost??

Freaking the fuck out. Because they are in a cage. Instead of appearing with their sister and Quirrel, they instead popped into Eggmans lair

Now. I dont think me or mel ever talked about HOW they got there. Quirrel and Tails tried to question it, but never got rlly far and were just focused on how to get back.

So anyways. Ghost has a lot of issues that they cover up because they are "the Savior of Hallownest" and their sister needs help as the new queen with the survivors of the infection to build from the ground up again

Eggman, unintentionally, pushes on Ghosts insecurities that their sister doesnt truly like them. So they work for Eggman. And that almost spells out Sonics fate because its nearly canon that there is no enemy too powerful for Ghost. They are literally a God.

From what I remember, a bit happens after that. Quirrel finally breaks after Hornet yells at him again, calling her out because "You're not the only one who lost everything. You're not the only one who has had to kill your family. You are not the only survivor of the infection." My Quirrel fanon (aka, singed!quirrel) is one of my favorite side stories of mine. It has to do with his antennas, getting burned, almost assassinated.. yeah theres a lot

We kind of faded out of this rp, the last response to it was a hell of a while ago. We had plans such as meeting Hollow and Lost, and even having a fight between Shadow and Ghost where Shadow gets his ass handed to him and is like "okay, this is a problem." We had a scene planned where Ghost actually managed to stab Sonic, which finally made him realize Ghost was a genuine threat. I even secretly had an idea where Quirrel and Tails get kidnapped and Quirrel is trying to convince Ghost that Hornet still does love them and will not, in fact, murder them on sight (he is not successful)

In a new rp called Reflecting the Light, where both Hollow Knight and Sonic characters are present, we do occasionally get a conversation between Shadow and some of the vessels. Im pretty sure Shadow and The Hollow Knight talked at one point, but im not entirely sure.

All in all, Hollow Knight is a beautiful yet heartbreaking game. It's really hard, I still havent done the Path of Pain vecause i spent 5 hours on the White Palace and i am not emotionally ready to suffer through PoP. I havent even beaten NKG. But i hope this helps ^_^ if you like hollow knight and/or sonic PLEASE let me know and ill talk about them in reflecting the light!!! I love that rp from the bottom of my heart

Anyways. Its 11pm, I have school tomorrow. Leo, out (⁠ ⁠˘⁠ ⁠³⁠˘⁠)💛🌙

[seongminiz]

hii i’m soo sorry for not getting back to u sooner😓😓

those are all great answers hehe🫶🏻🫶🏻 i hope u find all the sonny angels ur looking for at some point!! the marine ones are so cute (the SEAL😵‍💫😩 /pos) im waiting for the day i have the chance to buy a marine series one, i just ordered 2 sweets ones and an animal series 1 today because i saw them come back into stock at my local shop😈😈

i feel like no one (like the shops in my city) sells fruit flavoured milk tea anymore🤕 i’ve been obsessed with brown sugar milk tea lately but the melon is soo good and the colour is so pretty usually, i feel like it makes it taste better 👅 (i hope we’re talking about the same flavour)

omgg yes ragdoll cats r soo majestic and they have rly sweet personalities too!! i think!! they’re pretty calm n cuddly from what i understand🥹🥹 i’ve always wanted to make freebies but i get overwhelmed, what kind of freebies are u gonna make for tbz? u said u use pictures u like do u make them into lomo cards or other items?

side note, what’s ur favourite cravity comeback concept so far? (i think ive asked like song n mv before but im wondering like.. ✨aesthetic✨ although i might’ve asked this before too) and what concept would you like to see them do in the future? if u don’t know like the name of the concept, if u have an idea based on like a concept another group has done?

- 🧁 anon

🧁 ily but i need u to stop apologizing for everything 👹 /lh

aaaaa im so jealous omg i fr cant find any sonny angels in my country they just straight up dont sell them here 😭 maybe when i go to London for tbz i'll buy some ! (even tho with the exchange rate n everything i'll spend wayyy too much 😭)

omg no wayyy here they usually sell more fruit bubble tea than 'normal' milk tea ! like i think theres only one shop in my city that does that but tbh im not a big fan of milk tea bc im lactose intolerant n dont like how vegetal milk (soy , almond n coconut milk r the ones i tried) tastes n sometimes the texture is weird too 💔 n i dont rlly like tapioca pearls either bc of the texture lol (autism n sensory issues r hell bc like omg i want to try so many things but sometimes its not even a picky eater thing its just that the 'wrong' texture will make me genuinely nauseous)

shgsfjbf yea making freebies is stressful 😭 i made them for onlyoneof n so many ppl liked them i want to do it for every concert i go to now 😭 yea its basically lomo cards but instead of just taking a pic n printing it i add like doodles n stuff on it ! if u want i can maybe show some pics of the ones i made for onlyoneof n maybe the ones im planning for tbz too (even at the risk of 'outing' my identity lmao) n im also making stickers !! (for onlyoneof i also made a few freebies that were literally just yoojungs face edited on a painting of the virgin mary n they were actually the ones ppl liked the most lmao but i wont do that for tbz bc while ik in my country younger ppl dont care that much abt religion n will just find it funny , idk how ppl in the uk would react to smth like that 😭)

OK SO INSANE QUESTION BC I'LL START YAPPING BC I LOVE TALKING ABT CONCEPTS N STUFF LIKE THAT

my favs r gas pedal n megaphone (yea i like futuristic sci-fi space stuff idk) n i'd like to see them do it again but maybe more fleshed out n with a higher quality/budget since gas pedal was relatively early on in their career n megaphone was a bside . same for vvv , i rlly like the royal concept n would kill to see them do it again but only if starship puts more effort into it lol or maybe kinda similar to a royal concept but something more fantasy even tho i think its unlikely they'd ever do it 💔 n whatever they do i need starship to bring back league of the universe godddd pls (they kinda did bring it back with evershine but i need more)

[familyvideostevie]

omg okay I HOPE YOU LOVE IT and i would absolutely lend you my copy if i could tbh, pls def give us all your review if you do ever read it. but that is SO VALID, like the lore is absolutely phenomenal, but there is SO MUCH, especially between the expanded universe and legends and honestly, i love the high republic and it will always hold a special place in my heart so if you do get it into it and ever have any questions!! or wanna chat!! pls lemme know i will always be down to talk, i am staring at my star wars bookshelf as we speak bc now i am getting the itch to pull them all down and reread them (also sometimes thrift stores and used bookstores have star wars books for cheap!! last week i got the hutt's gambit trilogy for like $1 each!! or sometimes libraries have the rlly old or hard to find ones). but that is wondrful!! how are you liking rebels so far? (and omg i did not know that but!!! that is so cool!!!! and tbh so smart of them to keep everything in continuity so that if someone down the line wants to use that planet, BAM! full info right there, keep all the gungans in order so to speak, that is so fucking cool and makes me love it even more) (but AHHHH ANOTHER ANDOR LOVER and yes omg like i was not expecting the mouse to come right out of left field with anything in andor like that makes it even better, i think, that the politics of the show were still able to come through and be showcased and i miss it so much) okay you know what. i have to agree. with the beard ESPECIALLY like he shouldnt be able to pull it off as well as he did with how baby faced he was in fallen order but man. those five years DID SOMETHING. i respect your taste, emma. but i agree wholeheartedly. i just. cal with a mullet. controversial yet brave yet..... sometimes the heart doesn't know what it wants. i won't even defend myself on that, but the flirting does need to stop. he's out of control. but also i promise you will get no spoilers from me i will let you experience it all firsthand <3 but we will see!!! and we can be in delulu land together about a live action appearance because that NEEDS to happen. idc which show it's in, we need live action cal!!!!

i am 100% going to check out used bookstores for these books! i know most of them aren't canon after disney bought Lucasfilm but i've heard they're all quality anyway.

rebels is great!!! i love hera, she is like, all time best character. i also love kanan and yes it's a children's show but yes, he's hot! what else can i say!

last night i was playing survivor and SOMETHING CRAZY HAPPENED so I'm very pleased about that : ) here's to u cal ily so much.

[erwinsvow]

Which Rafe do you have in mind when writing (from which season)?? Does it depend on the scenario or do you have a preference and characterization linked to particular behaviours that you stick to?

I think I generally picture s2 Rafe especially when she’s Sarah’s friend or especially the pogue related universe

Would love to know what our lovely author herself has in mind <3

Muah💋

- 💓

ohhhh my goddd stop i love u so much for asking this lol. first I love that u picture season two rafe bc I do too!!!!!!!! those bangs did it for me lol. he’s also so hot n deranged in season two it just gets me good. i rlly do love s3 rafe so so so much but s2 rafe like being so on edge n testy with everyone like I CAN FIX YOUUUU!!!! this pussy can heal!!!!!! so I try to obviously in the fluffy pieces use a non canon rafe bc he’s obviously not a murderer when he’s romancing us but in the more srs darker pieces and I feel like all of these tiny drabbles I’ve been putting out it’s more season 2 canon rafe just super angry and finding some solace in reader which is just my fave trope ever <3 half he needs to corrupt us and half he needs to be fixed idk if this even makes sense I should rewatch I just love him so much

and I love u too <3 what about you what else do you picture in these rafe stories!!!!

[mncein]

Listened to ain’t no sunshine, it’s jam packed with FLAVOUR, and for this I think I’m looking at yunjin or kazuha- the songs instrumental exudes a kind of elegance, the lyrics a kind of longing and even soft core worship. Or even lia from itzy- the song just reminded me of her music taste, or perhaps chanelle moon from r u next!

The line “any time she goes away” makes for the situation to seem like she goes away often, or when she does for short periods of time it seems long- perhaps unrequited love/ or like girl next door/ exchange student you admire from afar/ girl’s girl who is a diamond in the roughs, not rlly appreciated kinda thing maybe

“Wonder if she’s gonna stay” deadass made me think of Fiona from shameless- character bound by responsibilities and has to have partners with patience, maybe has to let go of people more often than she would like to do she does not go into relationships with intent for the other party to stay

BUT.. maybe perhaps reader is persistent and she notices such and realises she has fallen

Maybe a little indulgent of me but if any part of romance has a temporality and right person wrong time I will be so so fed

as soon as i read yunjin, been thinking about the exchange student + really good with kids yunjin :( like when she finds out that the school she's exchanged in is teaching kindergarten to grades 1-3, it gets her really excited, she even insist teachers to have their free time while she goes in the classrooms to play with the children and teach at the same time! i feel like in universe, yunjin would take the english course, be a teacher.

you being a new student, and taking the same course as hers, you knew from others that she's almost done with the degree and has like 4 to 6 months remaining before she graduates, the last project she needs to work on is about her experience with the children and how it'll shift to teaching teenagers in universities. probably will teach the children to water the fake sunflowers in the hallways so when they grow up they know how to keep photosynthesis going :( her name got quite popular around the campus because of her bright personality and you're one of those people who admire her, she reminds you of the sun, every time she interacts with the kids, sunlight just radiates out of her smile; however, your chance of getting close to her is impossible like touching the sun from the earth :(

at last, she became your friend! and you've grown feelings for her just by being there with her, studying together, laughing while running back to your dorms in the rain, for every hour that passed in the days you spent with her, you don't even realize that yunjin is in her last month before she graduates :( her schedule is hectic, she couldn't make time for you, and on all of those dates you asked her to, you were planning to confess your feelings to her, but knowing that she's going to be out of the country after this month and you don't think it's a good idea to add your confession in to her stressing brain :(

you barely see her in the library, the cafe, the garden, and the usual place where you two meet after classes, receiving an apology message from her is like she has always been away. and with being out of the country mentioned, she was planning to go back to usa and teach there; but during her last two weeks, she's rarely smiling, her eyes puffy from crying, she'll surely miss the kids and you, and you felt that there is ain't no sunshine when she's gone :( the both of you kept in touch after she graduated, and one day you stopped receiving her messages, maybe she got very busy or changed her number since she's back in usa, and you knew you met the person right person for you, but in the wrong time :(

[starlightkun]

hi!! this is a different anon than the one who sent smt abt tdhea but i read thru that post and everything you said and i just want to say how it’s SO COOL how the strawberry sunday universe and characters sort of unfold parts of the story by themselves as part of ur writing process. like i genuinely think that’s the coolest thing ever (coming from someone who used to write a ton and had to trudge thru awkward scenes and horrible writer’s block and … procrastination…..)

i’m loving all the details you include with every neo u mention and would love to hear you go more in depth with the characterisation choices u make

also!!! very excited for pupsick 2 coming out tomorrow !!

lots of love💞💞

i definitely still have those awkward scenes that i just trudge thru (currently writing one for changer rn) and start and stop and write like two words and stop in the middle of a sentence and come back and write two more sentences and then stop again and it just takes me forever because i just for the life of me cannot do it for some reason. that absolutely happens to me, you're not alone.

lots of love back 💕💕 and also v excited for pupsick 2 as well!!

since u asked, i'll talk abt the character choices i picked for the neos a bit more (under the cut bc it's.....long)

127

taeil + doyoung: the witches! i picked witches for them because in my lore, witches are connected to nature and all that like dryads/fairies but they still have that mysticality to them while maintaining a bit of a folksiness to them with their herbs and teas and stuff, which i thought was just very endearing. i made them have slightly different specialties despite being in the same coven to reflect different aspects of their personalities. taeil is a lot more grounded and in tune with himself internally, so he does a lot of rituals and spellwork with innate power that get built upon with all of his ritual tattoos (and i feel like we don't see a lot of tattooed taeil in fics. which is a shame, bc as soon as the image of taeil tattooed from neck to ankle popped into my head i was hooked. that's rlly hot.) ; meanwhile, doyoung's character is a lot more snappy and sharp-tongued (inspired by how irl dotae and doten bicker), and prefers magic with words like hexes, jinxes, and curses. since these tend to be quick, minor bursts of magic, he doesn't need this big store of internal magic like taeil does for his rituals, he can just draw it in quickly from crystals or metals that naturally have magic, so he wears a lot more jewelry and the like

taeyong: our irl yonggie is just such a good leader and such an empathetic, sweet person who really does everything he can to make his members feel more at home. around the time i was writing strawbsunday, for some reason i was going back through my taeyong tag and there were a couple gifsets of him that rlly stuck with me. one was of him saying he was learning chinese to make the chinese members feel more welcome and be able to communicate with them more comfortably, and another gifset of him and shotaro in the waiting room of a music show during maw promotions, and tyong was helping taro read a soda bottle that was in korean. tyong read it in korean first, then explained the flavor in japanese so taro would understand it better. and idk, i rlly want to emphasize that part of taeyong in strawbsunday, so i made him a unicorn, a creature known for either having/finding/believing in a pure heart!

yuta: he's sexy. yeah, remember how i said some were more thought out than others? this is one of the less thought out ones lmao. sirens are enchantresses, luring sailors to their deaths with their call. modern interpretations take that to a more........seductive place, and i fully, wholeheartedly agree with my own sirens, and yuta was my blueprint lol. i was envisioning punch yuta specifically. the hair, the tattoos (his butterfly tattoo, the iconography, the placement, never has a man had a sexier tattoo im sorry)

jaehyun: i was 100% thinking about that tweet that was made around 'favorite' era that was like 'give me your vampire nct 127 opinions go' and someone said 'jaehyun would be like "how did you know i was a vampire?" while being the weirdest fucking dude in the room' and i was just like "yep that's going to my vampire jaehyun character." i also love the idea of like a brand new vampire. not a fledgeling vmapire, but one that was turned less than ten years ago. I feel like we usually either get fledgelings or vamps that are hundreds of years old and act like it, so i rlly wanted to see a vampire that like, wasn't old enough to rlly have the immortality part affect them yet. and i made him weird bc jaehyun's weird. (i specifically have a tag for my weird!jaehyun posts here)

mark: mark was like one of the very last of the ilichils to get assigned, and at this point i had fairy, dryad, witch, vampire, siren, and unicorn and i was like "hm, i think that's enough creatures? six? what else could i even use?" but i had already doubled up w the two witches (and two humans technically w [strawbsunday] reader/johnny) and nothing i had so far with those six kinds really felt like it fit with how i was kind of imaging mark and how he was going to fit in with the group. so i literally was googling like lists of mythical creatures and stuff, and was trying to fit what i saw to irl mark, to my character mark, and to my world i was building, to see if it would all fit. and i ended up going with basilisk! and i decided there would be a little C plot of my precious loserboy basilisk markie figuring out his powers and accidentally petrifying his poor human roommate johnny

johnny, hyuck, and jungwoo were all already talked about here!

wayv

so like i've already said, when i went to assign creatures to the ilichils, i went ahead and backlogged every neo just in case i needed a random background charcter, i could essentially pull a neo out of a hat and have one ready to go instead of needing to come up with one on the spot. the weishens were done next, and i very quickly realized i was going to need more than seven types of things (including humans)

kun: while i liked my newbie vamp jaehyun being a weirdo, i do still like the idea of an old, elegant vampire, but one who uses that experience to have an optimistic, fresh take on life instead of being all nihilistic about it. irl kun has all these sexy skills and hobbies outside of just being an idol (producing, flying, skydiving, photography, at least one bachelor's degree to my recollection probably more, etc.) and i think if he really were to live forever, why wouldn't he use that as an opportunity to just do everything, and experience all the new things that are being invented all the time and learn more stuff and continuously go back to school? so kun was just the perfect template for that sort of vampire character

ten: ...........he's sexy. IM SORRY i swear i didn't just toss every sexy neo into the siren category or else there would be a lot more sirens here. i chose neos that were sexy, knew they were sexy, and i thought would probably enjoy luring men to their deaths with their sexiness if given the opportunity. ALSO i made him an art major bc i loveeee irl ten's drawings and art and tattoos

sicheng: again, i really expanded the strawbsunday universe of magical creatures out with the weishens. i've also been rewatching supernatural and it was around here that i was at the episode where dean goes back in time and kills a phoenix, and they opted to make that character a person instead of a literal bird. so that was kind of inspo for sicheng's phoenix character (except i still made him very birdlike, the phoenix on supernatural didn't have any bird qualities whatsoever)

dejun: it is a coincidence that dejun is a dragon and his emoji is a dragon. i swear. this was one of those where i was like hm...that sounds good and then the more i thought about it the more i liked it. no exceptionally deep thought here. i regret not mentioning any sort of gold jewelry or the like on dejun in rid like i did on jisung in tdhea, but alas. smth to remember when/if he pops back up in future fics. we'll just pretend it's always been there tucked under his shirt or something

hendery: i had already thought about using gryphons in strawbsunday with johnny (was flipflopping on gryphon or human with him for a while and ended up on human, obvs) so it just seemed natural to make someone else a gryphon later on. gryphons are part eagle, part lion, and while i know i usually focus on the eagle parts of my gryphon, i do think both of them are important! they're both seen as very noble creatures, with lions protecting their pride fiercely. and i feel like i very much kept those attributes in with kunhang. you might not have seen it yet, but underneath the banter and everything, kunhang is fiercely loyal to his friends, and has a strong sense of right and wrong. it might not line up with everybody else's idea of right and wrong, but he's not wishy washy with it

yangyang: i already had an idea for a love potion debacle with witch DOYOUNG that hinged on a conversation that went something like “Are you telling me I just drank a fucking potion?”/“Botanical blend!”/“Why would you put a potion in a fucking Gatorade bottle?”/“Botanical blend!” but as i thought abt it more i was like omg no that's so yangyang coded and i sort of imagined witch yy who almost pictures himself like a mad scientist in that he specializes in potions and such and is always experimenting with new crazy stuff

dream

jeno: werewolf jeno was just like too perfect. like, he couldn't be anything else. has werewolf jeno been written thousands of times? yes. has big puppy werewolf jeno been written at least hundreds of times? yes. and its good every single time. i am not immune to puppy jeno. you are not immune to puppy jeno.

jisung: irl jisung is one of the few neos whose mbti type is an i, if im remembering correctly? he's at least an intp, i do know that. and irl, while he def gets along w everyone, you can tell that he and chenle just r besties and have a next level bond (they're so close and r close enough in age, chenle lets jisung call him casually instead of using honorifics despite being born in different years). irl jisung also isn't super big on skinship with members or wtv. so like with a lot of other stuff, i took a few perceived irl personality characteristics, honed in on them, stretched them, and picked a creature whose lore and powers fit that personality i assigned my jisung character. and dragon fit him best! usually a solitary creature, but for some reason he's taken a liking to this one fairy, and generally tolerates all these other friends that the fairy has

mark already talked abt above; jaemin, chenle, hyuck, and renjun already talked about here!

sungtaro

shotaro: now i know what you're thinking. but i think shotaro has a different brand of siren sexiness to bring to the table. kinda like how chenle and jungwoo r mischievous in different ways despite both being fairies, not all my sirens r sexy and alluring in the same exact way. yknow? bc shotaro just has that adorable little cherub baby yoda roo from winnie the pooh face too. so he's kind of all innocent and cute and lures you in that way, but then switches it up out of nowhere. duality, as the kids say

sungchan: this one was self-indulgent lol. he's one of my biases and i think werewolf sungchan is a very delicious concept. also i thought it would b hilarious to write in my notes "D plot that werewolf jeno LOVES peanut butter. sungchan swears this is just a jeno thing and NOT a werewolf thing. nobody believes him." i still think that's really fucking funny

and one more thing that i do kinda wanna touch on that's tangential to this? the ratio of characters/creatures that we see in here is supposed to be fairly representative to the actual population percentages of these species. like, i do imagine that humans, witches, and werewolves are all roughly equivalent in population; then it's fairies, sirens, and dryads are all about the same, but less than the first three; then vampires, gryphons, and basilisks; and dragons, sphinxes, unicorns, and phoenixes are all extremely rare. or, at least populations are generally academically unknown due to many staying out of integrated society. and wyverns...........well, that would be a spoiler.