#university of eastern Colorado

[thedestructionofgrace]

Tlou ep6!!! (It’s 2:07am, please excuse any mistakes as I haven’t proof read lol)

You just know the couple at the start have a great relationship, even though we only got to see them briefly I loved the back and forth between them and the fact that the lady made joel and Ellie food, it was interesting to see Joel’s interrogation technique (regarding the map) on the couple especially since he’s so violent with it in the game. The white rabbit that Ellie steals reminds me of the rabbit she shoots in the winter phase of the game.

I also love how the show has a much deeper insight to Joel’s mental health, we all know he’s a badass but to know it takes a toll on him mentally makes him a lot more relatable and human, when he has his first panic attack outside the cabin I was like oh shit

The show is also more realistic in regards to his age, the fact he’s slower, looks like he’s having trouble with his hands and his instincts aren’t quite as sharp, it’s really sad to watch him realise that those kind of things are catching up to him and the fact that he doubts his ability to get Ellie to the fireflies is just 😢 I believe his age is something we see more in the second game. I felt so bad when he thought that girl was Sarah.

Oh I was scared for a minute when the dog was approaching ellie but it was so cute when it ended up liking her. The group riding up on their horses was really cool, I love the western theme that’s been applied, and maria hanging back then realising Joel is her brother in law, can’t imagine what she was thinking there, especially since everything she knows about him is through Tommy, she probs never thought they’d meet. Rutina Wesley did an amazing job as Maria.

Joel shouting for Tommy 🥹 you could tell it was such a relief for Joel to find his little brother and for Tommy a surprise after all these years. Gabriel Luna is just spot on with tommys voice especially in that first episode, he sounds just like Tommy from the game

Communism lol, tommy having to pause, realising that that is what their town is like and Maria being like “yeah it is communism!! 😁” just made me laugh

Joel mentions sheep once and now they’re eveywhere, also that’s exactly what Ellie and Dina end up doing at the end of tLou 2, raising jj and sheep, ugh just makes me 😫😫

I had real conflicting feelings towards joel, you just found your little brother after years of being separated and you can’t be happy that he has a wife and their going to be starting a family together “guess we’ll find out” ???!!! What on earth would ever possess you to that to someone, your little brother is trying to tell you some good news and even confesses that he thinks he’ll be a good dad and that’s what you say 🤬 and Tommys confused face after Joel saying that 😫. On the other hand Joel’s moments with Ellie, teaching her how to shoot, telling her about his job and what he would like after this is all over and that he used to want to be a singer, that was all super sweet. While being a sorry excuse for a brother his dadness really came through in his moments with Ellie

I love how we get to see how Ellie ends up with all her iconic outfits, first getting her red palm tree top from bills place and now getting her jacket from Maria, love it!!! It’s such a simple nod to the game but so satisfying to watch as someone who’s played it. I really love being able to point out things to the folks I’m watching the show with and noticing all these little details.

Maria providing Ellie with a mentrual cup, again I love how realistic the show is and that it isn’t shying away from these kind of things, also Ellie inspecting it and being like cool 😁 made me chuckle. Maria giving Ellie a haircut too was 🥹 they gave Maria a lot more back story and I appreciate the way they did it cos it didn’t feel forced, she had a son, was an ADA, is on the council etc. I’m looking forward to seeing her and Tommy having a kid in the second season

Was that Dina??!!!! Please tell me it was Dina!! Also, Shimmer!!!!

It annoyed me when Tommy went to talk to Joel and started apologising, I personally believe Joel is the one who should be apologising but you know 🤷🏻‍♀️

The house they set up Ellie and Joel in, had a really beautiful exterior lol it’s not really relevant but I really liked it, cool how Ellie’s room was the one she ran away to in the game, would have been cool to see a Joel/Tommy/Ellie team up but I think it made sense the way the shows done it too. Bella is also spot on with her acting, she’s doing such an amazing job, her accent doesn’t even hint that she’s English, her facial reactions and emotion in her voice are just on point, I really really don’t understand the hate towards her 🤦🏻‍♀️

Joel letting Ellie drink??!!! Lmao why not 😭

Pedros voice “you have no idea what loss is” oh my god, 10/10, perfect

Curious as to why they’ve bunched Jackson, the university and probably what is going to be the cannibal episode next into the one season (I mean winter season) maybe it’s just to shorten the jumps between the next few episodes?

I kind of like how much they cut out (most of) the university part and got straight to the point, don’t know if they could have made that into an entire episode of them being at the uni so I think it makes sense, loved seeing a classic Joel take down when he strangled the guy that came at them with the bat, also was shocked that the goon manage to stab Joel with a piece of the broken bat, it’s nice that the writers stay really close to the original material but are still able to surprise us

Little moments that deserve shoutouts

Ellie talking about space and seeing northern lights 🥹✨

Joel’s smirk after proving Ellie wrong with the rifle and of course he gets a bullseye 😏

The fact the target said asshole on it

Random but Bella Ramsey looked really cool with her hat on

Joel trying to repair his shoes (with duct tape lol), realistic in terms of the shoes durability

Marias nose piercing, I know it’s a random thing to point out but she looked good

“Some people wanted to own everything and some people didn’t want anyone to own anything at all” Ooft can’t get any realer than that, plus “which one were you?” “Neither” 😂

The dining hall looks like where the dance is held and where Ellie and Dina kiss in tlou part two!!! Fitting that their first kiss is in the place the first see eachother 😍

“Damn” (dam)

Ellie mind your manners at the dinner table lol

Also “you gonna shoot this thing or get it pregnant” no fucking way did she say that 😂😭

I really think and hope this next episode (which I’m assuming will be the cannibal episode with David and Troy baker!!) will be bellas turn to shine and we’ll get to see her own her own for a bit. She’s gonna do such a good job I know it already.

[elliescardcollection]

“endure and survive”

[boogieboba]

The way that the house Ellie dragged Joel to could for sure be in a Ft. Collins neighborhood……. I have walked by that exact house while going to Thanksgiving dinner

[justagalwhowrites]

Lavender - Ch. 41

You, Joel and Ellie make it to the University of Eastern Colorado but you find things you don't expect. A continuation of Lavender ch. 1-40 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only.

Length: 5.1K

“Don’t rely so much on the reins,” you said, your front pressed to Joel’s back, hands on his waist. “Use your legs and weight to guide her…” 

“Like squeezing?” Ellie asked, frowning. 

“Kind of,” you said. “So if you want to go right, shift your weight right a bit and press your left leg into the horse. Use the reins, too, but you shouldn’t be pulling so much as just guiding her…” 

Ellie nodded and you watched her body shift slightly, taking the horse around in a slow circle. 

“Don’t forget to keep your legs turned inward,” you said. “It’s real easy to let your knees go out, it’s more comfortable, but you’ll have better control if you keep them turned in.” 

“Right,” she said. “I think I got it?” 

“You’re looking good,” you smiled. She smiled back, looking pleased. 

“Never thought I’d be riding a fucking horse,” she said. “This is so cool…” 

“Yeah, not something I ever thought I’d get to do again either,” you rested your cheek in the middle of Joel’s back. He was warm, comfortable. You wrapped your arms around him a little tighter. 

“How’d you learn how to do it?” Ellie asked. “Was it in Texas with Joel?” 

She drew out his name, teasing him. Joel scoffed a bit. 

“She was a better rider than me when she came to Texas,” he said. “Showed me up once on a trail ride, thought I was gonna make myself look real good and it turns out she had to save my ass because I wasn’t payin’ close enough attention…” 

“No way!” Ellie laughed. “What happened?” 

“To be clear,” Joel said. “I’d have handled it just fine if I wasn’t tryin’ to pay attention to her because I didn’t know that she knew what she was doing…” 

“Oh sure,” Ellie nodded, looking skeptical. “So what happened?” 

“It was a trail that hadn’t been used yet that season,” he said. “Just out in the woods near a ranch that belonged to a friend of Tommy’s. I was leading, looking back to try to tell her somethin’ and my horse spotted a snake on the trail, freaked the fuck out, tried to throw me…” 

“Oh shit!” Ellie’s brows went up. “So what’d you do?” 

“Well I saw Joel lost the reins but the horse kept rearing back and trying to throw him,” you said. “So I took mine alongside his and got the reins and got it back down before he got tossed. It’s really not that crazy…” 

“How’d you know how to do that?” She asked. 

“I grew up riding,” you said. “My grandmother was friends with the people who lived next door and they raised horses. They were older, their grandkids lived an hour away and they didn’t get to see them much, so they liked having me around. I rode all the time from when I was about two until I left for college.”

“Well shit,” Ellie nodded. “I’ll just ride with you when things look bad.” 

“You might want Joel more,” you shrugged. “I’ve never tried to ride and shoot at the same time and I’m not a great shot, anyway.” 

“Good point,” she said. “Guess we’ll just all have to stick together then.” 

“Crud,” you sighed. “Such a disappointment..” 

Joel laughed once. 

The three of you had been riding south for more than two days now and it had been almost too easy. You hadn’t seen a single raider or infected anywhere. It’s part of why it had taken you so long to put Ellie on a horse on her own. You didn’t trust the land around you to not suddenly swell with enemies and try to swallow her. With Joel, she’d be protected. With you, you could escape quickly. On her own was too dangerous. 

But now, things felt more secure. You were so far from Jackson and any other sign of civilization that you knew there was almost no chance of infected. Raiders would be pretty useless out here, too - there was nothing to raid. You felt safe letting Ellie ride on her own for a bit. 

“Should rest the horses soon,” Joel said. “Keep an eye out for a good place to stop for the night…” 

Because the road had been easy, you’d made quick progress. Tommy had told you it would take a week to get there but you were on track to make it in just five days. 

You certainly weren’t arguing. You had no idea what was waiting for you at the university. How long you’d be stuck there. Maybe there were researchers there who were far better trained than you - people who went to actual medical school instead of learning at the hands of a military doctor because there was no more medical school to go to. Maybe the Fireflies had found someone from the CDC or the NIH, someone whose job it had been to deal with infectious disease. 

If that were the case, you had your notes. You could pass them off, talk it through with them and rest knowing you’d done what you could. You could go back to Jackson with Ellie and Joel and move into the house across the street from Tommy and Maria. You could take care of the people there as the world healed. You could have a life, be happy. Things that had felt out of reach for almost half your life now. 

If the doctors there were like you - trained to keep people alive but not in how to develop new medications or cure anything new - then you’d have to stay. But only for a while. Joel and Ellie would go back to Jackson and that would be hard but you could figure it out. Being apart for a while would be OK if it meant that you got the world back. You would figure it out from there. 

“OK but I want to use the rifle,” Ellie said as the three of you put some distance between yourselves and the horses to try to catch dinner. Joel sighed. 

“Gonna treat it right?” He asked. 

“Yes,” she rolled her eyes, exasperated. “I’ll be gentle, I’ll love it, act like I’m tryin’ to get it pregnant instead of shoot it…” 

Joel glared at her but slung the gun off his shoulder and handed it to her. 

“Hell yeah,” she smiled. 

The three of you leaned against the remains an old, dilapidated wall looking out into a field. Ellie and Joel were looking out while you faced behind them.

“You’d do well to learn this too,” Joel said, looking at you. 

“I just don’t like killing things,” you winced. 

“You know meat is from dead shit, right?” Ellie said. 

“Yes, thank you for your expertise my dear,” you shook your head and smiled a bit. “Maybe I’ll be vegetarian when we get back to Jackson…” 

“Finally gettin’ to a place where I can grill you a steak and you’re gonna stop eating meat?” Joel shook his head. “Damn shame…” 

“Got one,” Ellie said, lifting the rifle. You covered your ears and she shot. 

“Good job,” Joel said, getting up as you uncovered your ears. “Go get it, we’ll dress it…” 

“Should call it undressing it,” Ellie said, giving him the rifle back. “Undressing it from the inside even….” 

“Good to know we can make her pull the guts out of the turkey at Thanksgiving,” you said, Joel offering you a hand up. You took it. “Give you a break from the job.” 

“The fact that you’ll cut me open, pull out a bullet and stitch me up with no problem but gutting an animal is where you draw the line will always amaze me,” he shook his head a little. 

“Wasn’t exactly thrilled to fish a bullet out of you either, for the record,” you leaned your head on his shoulder and you watched as Ellie walked back toward you, rabbit held high by its hind legs. “She’s a lot like you, you know.” 

He sighed. 

“Yeah,” he said, voice heavy. “Yeah, I know.” 

You glanced up at him. 

“I like it,” you said. 

He scoffed a bit. 

“Someone has to, I suppose.” 

The three of you headed back toward the campsite, an outcropping in some rock that wasn’t overwhelmed by snow. You built a fire while Joel and Ellie dressed the rabbit and you got that oddly happy, domestic feeling in you as you did. Fuck, you hoped the Fireflies had good doctors. You didn’t want to say goodbye to this, not even for just a little while. 

Ellie fell asleep early and you sat close to Joel, the fire glowing and warm. His arm was around you and you were tucked securely against his side. 

“Really startin’ to hold a grudge against winter,” he said. 

“Oh?” You glanced up at him. 

“Real hard to get at any of your skin around all these layers,” he said. You laughed. 

“Someone decided to pick a fight instead of taking advantage of a night we had doors,” you elbowed him lightly. “And working heat. And showers.” 

“I know,” he groaned, dropping his head back against the rock. “I was a damn fool, should have fuckin’ known better…” 

“Really should have,” you teased. He tugged you closer. 

“Just make up for it when we get where we’re going,” you said. “I imagine there are plenty of doors at a Firefly facility…” 

“Test out the sound proofing on all of ‘em…” 

You could hear the smirk in his voice. You tugged the unzipped sleeping bag the two of you were using as a blanket up under your chin and tugged a glove off, lacing your fingers with his. He frowned. 

“You’re gonna freeze.” 

“You’re not the only one who wants a little more skin,” you said. He let your hand go, pulled off his glove, and returned it. His palm was warm, his calluses oddly comforting. 

“Speaking of the night in Jackson,” you said after a few minutes of sitting, quiet, just holding onto each other. “What you said about Tommy…” 

“I shouldn’t have said a damn thing,” he cut you off. “I was being an asshole, fallin’ into old habits with you, stupid shit where I try to get you to leave me because I’m scared and know I can’t leave you…” 

“You know I was only ever with him because I didn’t have you, right?” You asked, sitting up enough to look him in the eye. “Anyone I was with after you was just… It feels wrong to say it but they were just a placeholder. They were someone to keep from hurting too much because I couldn’t have you. 

“It’s not that I don’t care about Tommy,” you said. “I do. A lot. We were always friends, even before anything happened with you and me. But that’s all we were ever really meant to be.” 

Joel nodded slowly, taking a deep breath. 

“That’s how I feel about Tess, too,” he said. You frowned a little and he pulled you closer to him. “She was who I had because I was too afraid of getting hurt with you, I was who she had after her husband died. We were good friends - she was like family - but everything more… it never felt right.

“Baby,” he looked at you, his eyes deep and wide and sad. “I never said it properly but… I’m so sorry. I wasted so much time because I was so fuckin’ scared and it’s time we can never get back. I should’ve gotten my shit together years ago and instead I kept hurtin’ you and fucked up things for everyone. I never should have said what I did in Jackson…” 

“I know how you are when you get scared,” you reached up and knotted your gloved fingers in his hair, pulling his forehead to your own. He closed his eyes for a moment. “I understand it. But Joel, the solution can’t be that you leave. Even if it’s just temporary, even If you say you’ll be waiting for me. We live in a scary world. Even once we get to Jackson and settle, I’m sure there’s going to be times where I’m in danger or Ellie is or you are and you can’t run from it every time. You just can’t, this won’t work if you do. We have to be a team.” 

“I know, Baby,” he kissed you softly, deeply. “I know.” 

***

Joel suggested that Ellie try riding her own horse most of the day as the three of you closed in on the university. It would be good for her to get the experience, just in case she needed to handle a horse on her own. That was the reason he gave for it.

But Joel also really fucking loved sitting on a horse with you wrapped around him. Your arms around his waist, your legs next to his, the warm press of your face against his back when you decided to lean against him. He loved having you close like that, could have drowned in it and died happy, never worried about breathing again. 

Ellie, it seemed, took naturally to riding. Joel had enough experience himself - he’d picked up plenty you didn’t know about in the years before he made it to the QZ - but you were still the better rider and even you were impressed. She connected with the animal well, their bond intuitive and easy. But Ellie, for all her sharpened edges, seemed to do that with any living thing. 

He doubted she was even aware of it. But she’d had you wrapped around her finger for years and by the time the three of you’d made it to Kansas City, Joel was already horrified of what would happen if she got hurt or killed. Now, he knew he couldn’t lose her. Losing either of you was not an option. He’d burn the world down first. 

“Think they’ll let you keep sheep in the backyard at the house in Jackson?” Ellie asked. 

“Dunno,” Joel said. “But I changed my mind on that, anyway.” 

“Yeah?” Ellie asked. “What do you want to do then?” 

“I figure since you’re goin’ to the moon and that one,” he jerked his head back at you. “Is apparently goin’ to Paris, I’m gonna be a singer.” 

“No way!” She laughed. 

“Yup,” he said. He was starting to see signs of the civilization ahead of him. “That was what I wanted to do when I was young. Think I should give it another go.” 

“Were you any good?” She asked, pulling her horse up closer. 

“Ask her,” he nodded back toward you again. 

“He was really good,” you smiled a little. “Played some good guitar, too…” 

“Oh man,” Ellie smiled and shook her head. “I don’t know if I buy it, Doc’s biased when it comes to you…” 

“No I’m not!” You protested. “I’m a perfectly good judge of his talents and skills. He’s a good musician.” 

“Prove it,” she said. 

“Don’t exactly got a guitar on me, kid,” he replied. 

“When we get back then,” she said. “That town has hot water, I bet someone there has a fucking guitar… I’m going to save the fuckin’ world, man, the least you can do is show off those skills.”  

When you got closer to where he thought the university was, he had you and Ellie switch spots. You he could trust to run out of a situation while he provided cover for her. It was the best they could really hope for. 

“I’ll do the talking when we find them,” you said as the university loomed. “Not that they know you, Joel, but hopefully they’ll be receptive toward me…” 

Joel just gave you a stiff nod. His stomach was tight. There was something about this that made him uneasy. It wasn’t even the place, though it seemed oddly quiet for a Firefly base that wasn’t trying to hide from FEDRA. 

It was that this was the end of the journey for the three of you. There was something ominous about that, anything that implied some kind of severance or separation. 

Yes, it seemed that the three of you had decided to stay together after this point even though no one had expressly said that was the plan or why you were doing it that way. But there was uncertainty around this point. How long you would need to stay - and whether or not the Fireflies would fight to keep you if you didn’t agree. Just how long they’d need Ellie. Would they need her here for months, years, to keep drawing samples? He didn’t know how that worked, how any of that worked. What if one of you could go and the other couldn’t? Would you all stay here? Would he take you or her back to Jackson and return for he other one? What would be safest? 

“What does it mean, ‘home of the big horns’?” Ellie frowned as you came upon the entrance to the campus. 

“It’s the mascot,” Joel said. “For the football team and stuff. That one’s a kind of sheep.” 

“Huh,” Ellie said. “Hey Doc, did your school have a mascot?” 

“The Longhorns actually,” you said. 

“Hook ‘em,” Joel smiled a little. You laughed. 

“OK but like… not all of them are horn related, right?” Ellie frowned. 

“No,” you laughed again. “That’s just a coincidence. In Texas there were also the Aggies and the Raiders… Oklahoma had the Sooners. Michigan had the Wolverines. Notre Dame was the Fighting Irish…” 

“Sounds like a lot of bullshit for places people are supposed to be learning stuff,” Ellie said as you worked your way into the campus. 

“Kinda was,” you said. “A lot of focus on the stuff that brought in money, which was usually sports…”

“And plenty of people who went to college weren’t focused on the learning part,” Joel said. “Too busy partyin’ or tryin’ to find themselves to go to class.” 

“I’m guessing that wasn’t Doc,” Ellie smirked a little. 

“You would be correct,” you smiled. “I was a nerd.” 

“You’re still a nerd,” she teased. 

“Darn right,” you said. Joel winked at you. You smiled. 

Joel was starting to actively watch for signs of people but he didn’t see much - at least, no signs of people there now. Plenty of people from the past. 

There was a loud almost squawking sound and Joel tensed for a moment before he located the noise. A troop of monkeys - half a dozen or so - crossing the campus one right after the other. 

“Holy shit,” Ellie breathed. “The fuck are those?” 

“Monkeys,” you frowned. “Whatever you do, do not try to get close to one, they will quite literally rip our face off…” 

“OK but what the fuck are they doing here,” she said. “I thought they were from like… Africa and shit.” 

“Probably leftover from any animal testing labs the school had,” you said. “Or maybe the Fireflies had them… If it was Fireflies, that’s a hell of an operation.” 

“If it was Fireflies,” Joel asked, looking over at you. “Then why the fuck are they loose?” 

“Still,” Ellie said, voice still awed. “Never thought I’d see a monkey.” 

The three of you pressed on, Joel taking the lead until he found some guard posts that had clearly been abandoned. 

“Maybe we should get our guns out,” Ellie said. 

“Found the building at least,” you said, slipping off your horse. Joel and Ellie followed suit and you tied your horses off out front. 

“It’s awful quiet here,” Joel said. “Not sure what the fuck happened but…” 

You and Ellie both nodded. 

He took the lead, putting Ellie in the middle and you at the back as he went for the doors, his gun drawn. 

Inside the building, everything was in disarray. But it was a more recent disarray, something from within maybe the last few weeks, not disarray from when the world ended 20 years earlier. 

“There were doctors here,” Ellie said, stopping at a cart and picking up a vial. She held it out for you and you took it, looking it over. Joel holstered his gun and started rifling through things while you looked over the remains of the equipment. 

“Packing list,” Joel said, holding up a piece of paper. You came over and looked at it, frowning. 

“This is thorough,” you said. “Not a quick jaunt kind of thing, this is a ‘the whole operation is relocating’ kind of list…” 

“So, what, they’re all gone?” Ellie asked. “They just left?” 

Her voice cracked a little and she cleared her throat to cover it. 

There was a noise from inside the building, something clattering to the floor. 

“Maybe not yet,” you said, folding the lacking list and tucking it in your pocket. 

Joel pulled his gun back out and led the way up stairs, moving quietly. There was something behind a lab door, something banging around… He held his arm out to try to keep you back as he opened the door. 

There was a loud screech and a monkey knocked something to the ground with a metallic clatter before it took off through a broken window. 

“Maybe their research turned them into monkeys,” Ellie said. “The comic books finally came true…” 

“Stranger things have happened,” you said, starting to look around the room and see what there was. Joel went to a cork board, one covered in pins and thread. 

“Everything is pointing to Salt Lake City,” he frowned at the map. 

“That’s got to be where they went then, right?” Ellie frowned, standing next to him and frowning up at the map. “How far is that?” 

“A hike,” Joel frowned. “Few hundred miles. It’ll be easier with the horses but…” 

“I just can’t figure out why they’d leave,” you said, coming over to look at the map, too. “Relocating a lab is a bitch. I had to help a professor with it once, years ago. He was setting up some clinical trial and the drug company wanted it on their property, not the school’s and there was so much to do…” 

“Maybe the facilities there are better,” Joel shrugged. 

“Yeah,” you sounded uncertain. 

Joel heard something. He held a finger to his lips as he went to the window and peered out into  the courtyard below. A handful of men - all armed - were walking by. One laughed. His stomach clenched as he looked back to you and Ellie. Your eyes were wide. You’d heard it, too. 

He went back for the two of you. 

“The horses,” you said. “They’ll see the horses…” 

“Out the back,” Joel said. “Stay close…” 

He led the way. The men weren’t inside yet and Joel rushed you both out to the horses, scrambling to untie them from the tree he’d hitched them to. He was nearly done when Ellie grabbed his arm.

“Joel!” She shrieked, her eyes wide. He spun just in time to see a man swinging a wooden baseball bat at him. It cracked against the tree and the man scrambled for you next but Joel grabbed him, wrapping his arm around his neck and pulling back. The man struggled and strained - all dying men do. But Joel was stronger. More desperate. He cracked the man’s neck and he went limp before Joel dropped his body and he crumpled to the earth. 

He turned to face both of you, Ellie’s gun pointed straight ahead, yours aimed at the ground - he’d have to get on Ellie about where to point your fucking gun if you weren’t about to shoot it - when Ellie’s already wide eyes got wider.

“Oh shit,” she breathed, looking at his stomach. 

“Joel,” you reached for him and he looked down. The end of the bat was lodged inside him. He hadn’t felt it until he saw it. Then it was like a switch flipped. He went from feeling normal to the brutal, stabbing pain as his body was ripped open. He went to pull the wood out but your hands covered his. 

“You have to leave it in,” you said quickly. “You’ll bleed out too quick if you pull it out…” 

“Doc, the other guys,” Ellie looked at you. 

“Take the horses…” Joel began, but you ignored him, looping an arm under his and dragging him to the horse. “No, that wasn’t the deal…” 

“Joel I swear to God if you don’t get on this fucking horse I will lay down and die right here,” you snapped. 

He didn’t have it in him to fight you. Instead, he got on, about to tell you to take Ellie but you were already talking to her. 

“Get as far as you can as fast as you can,” you told her. “I’m going to lead them away. I’ll find you. Head for Jackson, but if you can’t make it, I’ll find you, OK? I’ll find you.” 

“But…” Ellie began but you shook your head. 

“You have to get him out of here, Ellie,” your voice was desperate. “You have to, you can do this…” 

“No,” Joel managed as Ellie clambered onto the horse behind him.  

“Hey!” The men shouted. 

You smacked his horse and it took off. Joel looked behind him to see you all but leaping into the saddle of your own horse, pulling your gun and shooting at the oncoming group. He saw you ride away, gun held out, as Ellie pressed the horse on. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been riding. His whole body hurt, the pain radiating out from the stab wound at his stomach. He was fighting to obey your order - to leave the weapon lodged inside him until he was in a position that he wouldn’t bleed out but it hurt. It hurt so fucking bad, the harsh, sharp wood ripping him with every sway of the horse and every breath. 

“Joel?” Ellie’s voice sounded so far away. 

You were so far away. Fuck, he should have stopped you from leaving. Who the hell knew where you were now? You should have stayed with Ellie, should have left him behind while the two of you made it back to Jackson. You could make it that far on your own, after the last week he was sure of it. 

The world tilted. 

“Joel!” Ellie’s words were louder but still far away. “Joel, we’re going to…” 

He slipped then, off the horse and onto the ground. It was cold, hard. The sky was blue. You were far away. Too far away. Why were you so far away? What if you were hurt? What if they’d touched you? What if they took you, what if they killed you… You and Ellie should always be close. It was wrong that you weren’t there… 

“Joel!” Ellie’s hands were on him. “Shit, you have to stay with me Joel, don’t leave me out here alone, please don’t leave me, please stay, please, I’m fucking begging you, I can’t do this alone. I can’t do this without you, I don’t know where I am or how to get to where we’re going, please Joel….” 

The sky was blue. The ground was cold. Ellie was close. You were gone. He wasn’t sure what happened next. 

*** 

You were a shit shot under the best of conditions. It was far worse when you were terrified and on horseback. 

But you still tried. 

The men were on foot at first and you had to go slow enough that they’d stick with you and not follow Joel and Ellie but they’d brought horses, too. And once they were on them, it was a whole other animal. 

You pushed your horse more than you wanted to, trying to put distance between you and the men. You’d have no hope of fighting them off if they caught you. There were half a dozen of them. You couldn’t shoot them all, you’d never have a chance to hit them all before someone got to you. You could only out run them. 

“Good girl,” you stroked your horse’s mane as she slowed to a trot. You couldn’t push her any harder, you could feel it. But you were pretty sure you’d lost them, anyway. “You did so good, we can take a break then we can track them down, OK?” 

You slipped off her back and started looking for something nearby that you could use to get her water. Snow was limited here so you couldn’t just melt some, but you hoped you could find a stream or something to help her with. 

Her breathing calmed and you found a river. She all but dove into it to drink and you held her reins, leaning against a tree, trying to stay calm. 

You had to give your horse a chance to rest otherwise you’d never catch Joel and Ellie, not on foot. But you wanted to move now, wanted to run as fast as you could for them. Joel had been stabbed - the image of it burned into your brain, making your chest clench and stomach knot. But the location could have been worse, it might have missed his kidneys and intestines entirely. With any luck it did. 

Not that you could count on luck. 

“Hey there pretty girl.” 

You jumped, drawing your gun and turning toward the voice. The man was leaning against a tree, not far from you, smiling. There was a knife in his hand. You held the gun out. 

“Stay back,” you warned. “I don’t want to shoot you.” 

“Do we kill her or take her with us?” 

There was another voice, from behind you now, and you spun to face it. 

Shit. 

You were out numbered. You could try shooting them but that was a sure fire way to get yourself killed. 

“Think we take her,” a third man now. Your heart pounded against your ribs. “Think James would be happy for the gift, she looks like his type…” 

“Yeah, she’s not David’s,” someone laughed darkly. 

“Please,” you said. You had to get to Joel, he was stabbed, he was bleeding, Ellie was all but on her own, you had to get to them you had to… “My friends, they’ll be looking for me…” 

“So?” The man from behind you said. 

“I don’t want to cause you trouble,” you said, backing up until you were pressed against your horse. “Just let me go on my way…” 

“Sorry baby doll,” the men were pressing into you from all sides now. “We just can’t do that.” 

One stepped forward and grabbed your gun and, in the instant before one of them started dragging you away, you’d never felt more terrified or more alone.

A/N: Eeeeeeeeeek! The trio is separated, Joel's stabbed, Doc's been taken. It's a whole thing. A whole big, exciting thing :)

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[hallwyeoo]

Ellie’s memory of the golfing scene and what it tells us about her.

🚨spoilers for tlou2🚨

I think Ellie’s flashback to Joel’s death is very telling of how she internalized the event and the meaning she applied to his death. It’s also a good demonstration of her relationship to autonomy. Let’s break down the elements that were inconsistent with the actual event:

The stairs/hallway are much longer than they were. This suggests a sense of helplessness, an inability to get there fast enough. Joel is constantly out of reach.

There is blood on the floor outside of the door. Not entirely certain on this one but my hunch is that she blames herself for not seeing more obvious signs of violence/not knowing something was wrong sooner.

The door is locked, another roadblock in her path to Joel. She can’t access him, she can’t help, he needs her and she isn’t there.

Most importantly. Joel yells “Ellie, help me” (which he didn’t in the actual scene, he just screams. He doesn’t say a word in the actual scene)

Ellie hearing Joel scream for her help, calling for her while being horribly beaten, and her being repeatedly impeded on her way to him suggests that what she took away from his death is that she wasn’t enough. They always helped each other, always had each others backs, always got up. Ellie views his death as a failure. She was too slow, too weak, not smart enough to save him. She failed him when he needed her most. She is absolutely helpless to save him, just like she was helpless to save Riley, Tess, Sam, and Jessie (and Marlene, and humanity, and and and-).

Once again, Ellie makes a decision (staying with Riley, going to the fireflies, staying with Joel, being the cure, trying to forgive Joel) and once again her autonomy and ability to find closure is ripped from her.

This is the inciting incident of tlou pt2, this is the moment where Ellie’s whole world shatters the same way Joel’s did at the start of pt1. Ellie enters into the same cycle (which I like to call the “Joel cycle” because… yeah.) that he did, and throughout pt2 she stays in the “20 years later” phase of the cycle. She is changed, she has lost her light, lost what she fought for. She lost her chance to genuinely forgive Joel and rebuild their relationship. She is stuck in a gruelling and violent world that she has no anchor in, at least not anymore. His death is so sudden and so incredibly violent that it practically gave her (and me as well, tbh) whiplash. She’s in a state of total shock.

On another devastating note, this is one of the three times in tlou that we see Ellie beg (that I remember). The first is begging Joel to get up at the university of Eastern Colorado, the second is begging him to get up and for Abby to stop, and the third is begging Abby to not kill Dina because she’s pregnant. (Two times she begs Joel to get up, one time he doesn’t. Two times she begs Abby to spare her family and one time she does. What a beautifully haunting contrast)

To wrap up, every person creates an internal narrative, a story of their life that is crafted from their context and lived experiences. The meaning we derive from those experiences doesn’t always reflect the truth, and that can sometimes bite us in the ass majorly when we experience a traumatic event. We tend to want to find someone or something to assign blame to, some reason or rationale to why it happened. We tell stories. We write them in our minds about ourselves and what happens to us and what that says about us.

But Ellie is wrong. Joel’s death happened in response to a conscious and willing choice he made. It is in no way her fault, and there was absolutely no way for her to know or to stop what was happening. I think Ellie knows that much on an intellectual level, It just doesn’t change how devastated she is over the whole event. It can’t change the fact that she FEELS as though this was all her fault, that Joel did what he did to save her, that she could have saved him. That she should have.

[lskisms]

YOU, AT LEAST, WERE BUILT TO GO, J. MILLER

. . . which is why you are able to be loved

synopsis — joel is getting older, he is getting frail, and you, still in your youth, have to come to terms with it. you just have to do so much sooner than you thought when he’s hurt during your attempt to escape the university of eastern colorado.

genres &&. warnings — angst, hurt/comfort, (post) apocalypse &&. canon compliant, spoilers for ep. 6 “kin” and ep. 7 “left behind,” contemplation of death, canon-typical violence (wound, gore, blood, wound care), age-gap (reader is in their mid-late 20s).

word count — 3.2k

note from r — title comes from the poem “elegy for my innocence” by steven dunn. i suppose i need to introduce myself a little: i’m rhi, i’m 22, and i’m in my second to last semester of college where i’m majoring in english. obvi, a big fan of the last of us, but also resident evil (which is what i’ve based my account aesthetic on, courtesy of my beloved leon s. kennedy). my ask box is open for people who want to send in asks and things. i’m really looking forward to writing for my fellow joel miller lovers.

if your parents were still alive, if they were around to see the life you’ve carved for yourself over the last few months, you’re certain your dad would want to smack the shit out of you and your mother would disown you from the family faster than you could blink.

you can hear the chastising now: a man old enough to be your father? are you joking? what the fuck is wrong with you? this is not what we meant when we told you we wanted you to start a family. 

and you can’t fault them really. you are almost twenty years his senior, having been just a young child when the cordyceps outbreak decimated the world. if the world had stayed normal, if none of this had ever happened, you’d probably have a dead end corporate job that has you wanting to drop off the face of the earth at the end of every grueling day, married and going home to a man complacent and yielding in every aspect, never too sure of himself to assert any kind of dominance, stuck in his own dead end job that keeps you comfortable just enough.

but the world isn’t normal and it hasn’t been since 2003. and there’s nothing you can do about it. you feel like a child again, wholly the depiction of the angsty teen in dramas and romcoms, as you tell the ghosts of your parents that the heart wants what it wants and i can’t help that i fell in love with a man going starlight gray at his temples. it is wholly melodramatic, something that you would have seen in any number of teen dramas written by out-of-touch, old white men.

joel miller came into your life like a lone crimson leaf during the fall, sometime during your first few months at the boston quarantine zone. it wasn’t like he’d meant to because everything that man did and does is deliberate; he’d simply waltzed across your line of vision as you’d walked back to your apartment after a long day of doing menial chores, the new world equivalent of that mental-health-issue inducing corporate job that the older people of the zone talked about.

you’d heard of him, of course: joel miller, flown in from somewhere down south, a menace to anyone who crossed his path prior to his arrival in boston, a brother somewhere out in the midwest who had taken off and joined the fireflies. he was decidedly unapproachable, gruff and mean and stubborn. most people were more scared of him than they were of fedra for the simple fact that he was more deadly with his two bare hands than any fedra idiot (sorry, “soldier”) with a gun.

he wasn’t a person who you intended to mess around with, no matter how handsome you’d thought he was when you saw him that first time. but then you’d started hanging around with tess, one of very few people who had any kind of stable-enough connection with him and that had led to you meeting and hanging around with him too. tess invited you to go on runs with them, sneaking out of the zone at night to stretch your legs and look for supplies that fedra definitely had and refused to give up. she’d preached your capabilities to joel and, stubborn as he was, he’d allowed you to keep coming with them after the first time because you proved to be spry enough for things that he and tess had grown a little too old for: you were useful to him and that filled you with a kind of thrilling gratification.

by the time marlene had tasked your little trio with getting ellie out of the city, you were a year deep into your entanglement with joel where you did all the recreational talking and he was the one who made the deals with the fireflies, the fedra goons he had in his pocket, the people who had things to trade. it was a balance that worked well for you: joel was well-versed in persuasion when he wanted to be and you were seemingly the only person who could draw out the rare ghost of a smile or a laugh from him.

it was supposed to be a quick job, one that joel had insisted you sit out but you’d refused. just a quick round trip tpe thing, that’s what you’d said to him. we’ll be out and back before anybody even realizes we’re gone. 

that had gone belly-up, of course, because anything that involved the fireflies had at least a 99% chance of not turning out the way anyone planned. and when you’d left the museum, you were down a friend and up a whole ton of miles. joel had tried to convince you again to leave, but once more you’d refused. tess died for us, joel. i’m in this until the end because i’m making sure her sacrifice wasn’t for nothing.

and he’d let you stay. even months after that discussion, you think that he must feel at least a tiny bit grateful that you’d argued with him over it, that you’d fought to tag along. you’re an extra set of eyes, of hands, someone capable of taking over when he needs a break, which is hardly ever because he’s still as ornery as always, but knowing that there’s someone there who can must be nice enough.

and you’re glad he’d given in for once in his life because he’s dying beneath your hands and you’re not sure what to do. he’s going sallow and gray on the concrete floor of this ransacked house, breathing raspy and eyes slipping between you and some far-off point above him. joel is dying and for the first time ever since entering his life, you’re useless.

“joel, stay awake, please,” you beg, clutching at his hand as you kneel beside him. “ellie, you have to stop the bleeding.”

“i’m trying,” the young girl snaps. when she looks up, all you see is a girl who is reliving a loss, a deer caught in headlights, frenzied and terrified. her hands press the cloth harder over joel’s stomach in an attempt to staunch the blood flow and the man groans.

“leave,” he mumbles and your head snaps to look at him. he cannot possibly be saying this right now, not after everything you’ve been through. “leave. head north, go back to jackson. find tommy.”

“like hell we will,” you reply, trying to channel as much of his stubbornness as you can. you’d rather give up and drop dead right now than leave him to die alone in some fucking house in colorado. “we’re gonna fix this, joel. we’re not leaving, i’m not leaving.”

he’s slipping again, eyes glazing over. you can tell he wants to fight with you, but he’s losing the energy for it. for any of it. ellie stills and then tosses his jacket over him in a bid to keep him warm. she fixes you with a look, his look that says stay with him, so you nod solemnly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. you hear her footsteps on the stairs and only when the door shuts behind her do you finally let yourself break, weeping openly over joel’s chest, rising and falling so, so shallowly.

falling in love with this man has been something beautiful, some kind of phoenix rising from the ashes of a long-dead world. over the last few months, you have come to learn the feel of his knuckles brushing against yours, the warmth of his chest against your back when you share a sleeping bag, the sound of his soft breaths as you’ve trekked through miles upon miles of woods and abandoned highways. you have come to appreciate those things, facets of him that only you are privy to, the only person to know the weight of his arm over your waist and feel of his breath against your shoulder.

but in doing so, in reveling in the knowledge that you are the sole person to experience these hidden away pieces of joel miller, you’ve forgotten just how much older he is than you are. that misty gray at his temples and in his beard have been so permanent, you’ve started to believe that he’s always looked like this, that it’s not a marker of his age. you’ve forgotten that he is older and growing frailer by the day, conveniently forgotten how his heart stutters and how his knees act up after hours and miles of walking.

you had always known, of course, that joel would eventually leave you, but not this soon. and not like this.

maybe it’s your fault for putting him on a pedestal: the great, unstoppable joel miller. in your mind, he’s untouchable, some formidable opponent who people fear because he’s strong and knows his way around a fight. it shouldn’t be a chunk of a broken baseball bat that ends his life because it’s not fair, none of this is fair. you’ve been a fool for thinking that the three of you, your unlikely little family, would make it out of this unscathed, for believing that you could live a life like bill and frank’s after this all was over: fulfilling, safe, and the closest resemblance of before.

“god,” you whimper out, still brushing your fingers through his salt and pepper hair. “how could you even consider telling us to leave you here, joel?”

he gazes up at you, blinks slowly, the smallest signs of life that tell you he’s listening and wanting to fight you back about it.

“y’can’t leave me alone here, old man.” a short, wet laugh. “we’ve got so much left to do. i can’t get ellie back to jackson without you. i can’t do anything without you.”

he shakes his head in response and narrows those dark eyes of his just a bit. you read it for what it is: don’t you start talkin’ about yourself like that. he’s always been hard on you for not believing in yourself and your abilities, and it makes you laugh again.

“i mean really, joel. first man i’ve ever loved and you’re telling me to leave you here to die alone in fucking colorado.” you shake your head, looking away to try to blink back tears. “i can’t- i can’t just go. i need you alive.”

you can’t even stop yourself from babbling through the tears, brushing his hair back and wiping away his own tears. even though you should be desensitized to death and loss, you’ve always been particularly sensitive. but you’re young and this is your first love, your only shot at it, and he’s bleeding out on a cold floor because you were too focused on everything else that you hadn’t been able to stop him from getting hurt.

“ain’t your fault,” joel rasps out, eyes shining in the dull winter light. you realize you voiced that, a placing of responsibility that you’d meant for yourself and yourself only. “don’t do that.”

you stare at him and you know what’s going through that head of his. all kinds of thoughts that he wants to voice out loud: it’s not your fault and you were doing the best you could in the situation and this was going to happen sooner or later. damn pessimistic realist, always focusing on the worst possible outcomes than entertaining any kind of optimism.

and in a twisted turn of events, you start to think of your parents, long gone and relegated solely to memory, buried somewhere between atlanta and boston: an optimistic dad and an overwhelmingly realistic mother, so far on opposite ends of a spectrum that they complemented each other perfectly. your dad, ever the poet, had stolen poetry collections from every bookstore he’d came across during your treks from settlement to settlement. his favorite poem, by far, was about the death of a person’s innocence, something always meant to die eventually, perpetually blushing and always coming back a little less pristine each time.

you remember it now as you’re holding joel’s hand with your own, pressing his knuckles against the soft plush of your cheek. you, at least, were built to go, you hear your father’s voice say in your head, which is why you are able to be loved. you haven’t thought about this poem in years, not since you lost him to a runner somewhere in south carolina, but it feels sickening that you’re recalling it now as you’re watching your first and only love die under your hands.

and yet, somehow, it feels comforting, the idea that to be human is to know that one day, a loved one will die, but to know that is to cherish them better, to love them harder. you’re not at all okay with joel dying because you’ve had so little time to love him, but it helps you to cherish those few late nights more, to revel in the memory of his warmth enveloping you on particularly cold nights.

you can let me go. joel’s dark eyes are going glossy again and you smile knowingly at him, still crying. he’s not dead yet and there’s a possibility that he’ll make it out of this alive, the outcome that you’re praying to every god that has ever existed for. you can let me go; it won’t be easy, but you can do it.

ellie’s feet as loud on the old wood stairs as she comes barreling through the door and down the stairwell. she looks rabid as she all but throws herself onto the floor beside joel, ripping the tan coat back and pulling the soaked cloth away. joel’s wound is still gushing blood, a sure sign that he’s well on his way to death, but when ellie makes eye contact with you, you know for sure she’s found something to help. she holds up a needle and spool of thread; she must have torn the entire house apart looking for her hail mary and she found it, she fucking found it. she stares at you, eyes wide and face red, breathing hard, waiting for your go ahead.

when you finally nod at her, fresh tears in your eyes, you look down at joel. his fingers curl around your palm tighter and he’s staring back, his eyes wide. you laugh tearfully, totally and entirely stunned that ellie had actually found a way to help.

“you’re gonna be okay,” you weep, pressing his hand to your forehead, letting your tears drip into your lap. “you’re gonna be okay, joel. just hang on.”

the next few minutes crawl by cruelly, joel surely leaving bruises on your hand from gripping yours too hard, too tight, but you can’t even care because when his hand finally goes slack, ellie is done. her handiwork isn’t so bad and the bleeding has stopped for the most part. when you sigh, it feels like the weight of the world leaves your shoulders, a degree of relief you’ve never felt in your life.

joel, stubborn as always, is fighting unconsciousness as you turn to look back at him and you know it’s because he knows he’s not entirely out of the woods yet. there’s still bleeding to stop, a potential infection to fight, medicine you need to find to keep him safe and healthy, but this has to be good enough for now. it has to be because he’s joel miller and he’s mucked it through gunshot wounds and temporary deafness and all kinds of other shit the world has thrown at him. 

ellie, clearly emotionally gone, stands, her dark eyes empty and her face void of everything save for exhaustion. without even looking at you, she turns towards the stairs and says to nobody, “going for a walk. i need a break.”

her footsteps echo in the stairwell and then creak overhead before she disappears out the front door, leaving you in an empty house with joel and the horse in the garage. you look back to joel, still holding his hand. his face, always so devoid of anything minus annoyance and anger, looks so relieved right now and it makes you want to cry again, but you’re shit out of saline. you lay his hand down beside him before you tuck his winter coat back over him, up to the chin.

there’s not much that you can say, no thoughts come to mind. nothing more than i love you, but you want to save those for when he’s safely out of the thick of this. as true as they are, it’s not the right time, but you’re sure he knows. he must when he scoots his hand out from under the coat and nudges it against your thigh, some gesture that you can’t decode, but that you understand as i’m still here, like he’s able to read your mind. you smile at him softly.

i’ll tell him when this is all over, you reason with yourself as you move to lay beside him, exhaustion finally overtaking you. wherever we end up after ellie is safe with the fireflies, i’ll tell him and he’ll say it back and we’ll be okay.

he can’t turn onto his side, but he turns his head to face you, looking every bit the age of fifty. his eyes are tired and the crinkles of his skin run deep, his cheeks and chin dusted gray. this close, you can see every pock mark, the dip of skin at his temple from some long-forgotten cut, the deep scar that mars the space between his eyebrows. his defenses are down and he looks his age, for the first time in a long time because it’s so easy to forget how old he is when he’s doing the things he does to protect you and ellie.

you scoot in as far as you’ll allow yourself, knees knocking against his legs and your head pillowed on the arm underneath you. you raise a hand and rest it on his cheek, a touch he immediately leans into, like your palm was made to caress his skin. as far as you care, it was. he tilts his head towards you and you find yourself doing the same, foreheads touching. this is one of the small gestures joel allows you on most days, but right now, it feels more monumental than that. like always, it’s a moment shared singularly between the two of you, but it carries so much more weight because he gazes at you with so much more softness and love than he’s ever let himself show before and it reminds you that underneath all that rough exterior, he is a man capable of gentle touches and adoration, no matter how many times the world and himself have tried to beat it out of him.

as his breathing slows, but deepens (a sure sign that ellie has mended the problem for now), you move your arm to rest on his torso, hand pressed into the sturdy spot just above his heart. the beat is steady, solid, a reminder that he’s okay. he was built to go, but now more than ever, you feel he was also built to be yours, to be loved by you. and you’ll make sure he makes it through this, no matter the cost.

(c) lskisms, 2023. do not repost, translate, or otherwise plagiarize my work. the only official versions of my work are available on tumblr and ao3 under the name lskisms.

[rjzimmerman]

From National Geographic:

You’re looking at a seven-month-old cheetah. He is hissing in the back of an SUV. He has been intercepted before he can sold to a smuggler. Nat Geo Explorer Nichole Sobecki, in this week’s Photo of the Week, captured a happy ending.  But scores, maybe hundreds, of young cheetahs are taken from Somaliland each year to be sold as “pets” in Persian Gulf nations.

More from the National Geographic story:

Fewer than 7,000 adult cheetahs are left in the wild, according to recent estimates, most in southern and eastern Africa. International commercial trade of cheetahs has been banned since 1975. Even so, from 2010 through 2019, more than 3,600 live cheetahs were for sale or sold illegally worldwide, with only about 10 percent intercepted by law enforcement, says Patricia Tricorache, a researcher with Colorado State University who’s been tracking the cheetah trade for 15 years. Taking cheetahs from the wild has been illegal in Somaliland since 1969.

Habitat loss and retaliatory killings by herders when cats prey on their livestock are the biggest threats to the cheetah’s survival, compounded by the illegal trade in cubs. Babies, often still nursing and dependent, are snatched from the wild while their mothers are hunting or when a lactating mother is tracked back to her den. On foot and by camel, car, and boat, traffickers move the cubs through the Horn of Africa and across the narrow Gulf of Aden to Yemen, a journey of 200 miles or more that can take weeks. Cubs that survive are sold as pets in Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates (U.A.E.), Kuwait, and other Gulf countries.

[onwardshimmer]

OK SO the intro has this map right made out of cordyceps and it got me thinking thoughts

Well I stared at it for a long time and then tried to figure out if the gaps in the map had anything to do with places Ellie and Joel visit in the show. I guess only (sort of) a little bit? By the way, Eastern Colorado University (go Big Horns) was based on the Colorado State University in Fort Collins, but in the game it’s referred to as being in Boulder, so that’s where I’ve added it here. And of course in the game they go to Pittsburgh, not Kansas City, MO.

The only reason I thought of it was because of the big gap in cordyceps on the west side of the map. I wondered if it was supposed to show how since Jackson was over that way and it was less populated it was generally safer. The population of Wyoming in 2003 was only about 500,000, and considering the cordyceps knocked out about 60% of everyone, only around 200,000 would have survived the initial outbreak. Now it’s been twenty years since then, who knows how many people are still around. But let’s say everyone out of that 40% is still alive, even then, with almost 98,000 square miles in Wyoming, you’ve got about two people per square mile, meaning a fuck ton of space to run away from the couple of clickers madly screeching at each other from across the wide open west.

You get me?

[nicolethered]

Joel and Ellie reach the University of Eastern Colorado in 1x06 Kin

[shadowglens]

I & L for the initial meme :3

send me a letter and i will tell you about an oc i have with the initial

ISABELLE FAULKNER is my tlou oc! isy was a model in LA before the outbreak, and although she loved the work she struggled to find connection in the cut-throat industry. she is saved during the beginning of the outbreak by her makeup artist, camille, who had received warning from her sister in seoul - the duo managed to flee the city a day before all hell truly broke lose. isy wandered for a long time, but eventually began craving community and fell in with the fireflies. after the distaster at the university of eastern colorado, isy is alone and hopeless before she stumbles upon darcy (@risingsh0t's girl 🥺) and the pair begin travelling east together.

LYSSA is my mcu oc! she's a halfblooded dark elf who was adopted by malekith the accursed as a child after he killed her parents for their forbidden union. malekith quickly realised she had great potential from her mixed heritage and raised her as his heir, while also experimenting on her with the aether. lyssa temporarily functioned as a vessel for the aether's power and was able to manipulate dark matter to almost rival malekith. over thousands of years between stasis on the arc, lyssa's resentment only grew towards malekith, although she continued to harbour complicated feelings for her abuser and father. after she betrayed malekith and helped defeat him with thor and loki, lyssa was deeply conflicted and in pain; thor, seeing this and feeling out of his depth, dumped her on steve's doorstep at avengers hq in the hope that he would know what to do. months later, she assists steve when the winter soldier resurfaces.

[abbysthighs]

The University of Eastern Colorado

[feathered-serpents]

Okay so playing the Last of Us as someone who lives in Colorado I have to say this somewhere: the University of Eastern Colorado (UEC) does not exist BUT there are two major universities called University of Colorado (CU) and Colorado State University (CSU) and they HATE each other. Which is hilarious because I’m pretty sure the University of Eastern Colorado is meant to be an amalgamation of the two

In the game, the UEC mascot is a ram, the CSU mascot is a ram, but, it’s wearing a black and yellow shirt, the colors of CU. The campus itself looks like mash up if both with the whole thing looking vaguely familiar but not QUITE right to anyone who went to either school

It is just hilarious to me that they did this. It’s such a local thing but if you knew the beef these two colleges have… there are people who would react with ABJECT horror if I told them there was a fictitious university that combines CU and CSU into one school. I need to know if someone on the team went to one of these universities and said “Oh we can’t use one but not the other. College football fans will burn Naughty Dog to the ground”

[monsoon-memoirs]

2024 Hurricane Season Breaks an Unusual Record, Thanks to Hot Water

The 2024 hurricane season has already made history, setting an unprecedented record that highlights the stark contrast between Atlantic and Pacific storm activity. For the first time since satellite monitoring began in 1966, the Atlantic basin has generated more accumulated cyclone energy (ACE) than the entire Pacific Ocean through early July. This unusual phenomenon is largely attributed to the exceptionally warm water temperatures across much of the North Atlantic. Phil Klotzbach, a senior research scientist at Colorado State University, explains that these abnormally high ocean temperatures are influencing storm activity in both oceans, albeit in opposite ways. In the Atlantic, the warm waters have fueled an active start to the hurricane season. The region has already experienced several named storms, including the powerful Hurricane Beryl in early July. This early season activity has contributed to the record-breaking ACE levels, which measure the total energy of a hurricane season based on storm frequency and maximum wind speeds.

Conversely, the Pacific has seen an unusually quiet start to its tropical cyclone season. The western North Pacific experienced only one typhoon in May, and for only the second time on record since 1950, it went without a named storm from June 1 to July 15. In the eastern North Pacific, Tropical Storm Aletta's formation on July 4 marked the latest start to the season on record in that region. Scientists attribute this lack of Pacific storm activity to several factors, including the absence of a strong monsoon trough in the western North Pacific and excessive easterly wind shear in the eastern North Pacific. Interestingly, the warm Atlantic waters are contributing to these conditions by influencing global wind patterns. The dramatic spike in tropical Atlantic water temperatures from March to June 2024 has persisted, creating a La Niña-like circulation pattern. This pattern reduces westerly wind shear in the Atlantic, making conditions more favorable for storm formation. However, it increases easterly winds in the eastern North Pacific, hindering tropical storm development in that region. While it's still early in the hurricane season, forecasters predict above-normal activity for the Atlantic basin. The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) forecasts 17 to 25 named storms, including 8 to 13 hurricanes, of which 4 to 7 could become major hurricanes.

As the season progresses, researchers will continue to study the influence of climate change and other factors on tropical cyclone patterns. The unusual start to the 2024 season serves as a reminder of the complex interplay between oceanic and atmospheric conditions in shaping hurricane activity across different regions.

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[daladae]

tlou spoilers

i love that the themes of loss, sacrifice, revenge, and the cycle of violence are all so prominent and interwoven in the show. they’re doing a fantastic job of foreshadowing it all to really elevate what’s going to happen in the next season.

let’s take a look at henry. he chose one person, his brother, over everyone else in that town. he even identified himself as an “objectively bad person” because he wasn’t willing to make that sacrifice, wasn’t willing to suffer that loss over anything else in his life. sam was his one person that he was willing to risk everything for.

however by choosing his one person, he took away someone else’s one person. kathleen was so overcome by the loss of her brother, that she ignored what could’ve been a threat to her people just for the sake of revenge. she, like henry, chose her one person, over everyone else, which only resulted in their (and her) demise.

the desire for revenge and the cycle of violence can be found in even subtler ways within the show. in the university of eastern colorado scene when joel is stabbed, he’s pretty justified in killing the person who attacked him because it was self-defense. however, the person he killed was still a father and a husband to someone else. by taking his life, he unknowingly created a murderous intent in his assailant’s daughter. she wants joel and ellie killed because she can’t deal with the loss of her father.

like sam was to henry, and how michael was to kathleen, this girl’s father was her one person that she wasn’t willing to lose, who she was willing to seek out revenge for. we didn’t see a lot from this girl, but we did see that she was the result of yet another one of joel’s actions. we see what trauma and loss and hatred can do to even the most innocent people, and how it brutalize them.

below the cut will be spoilers for both games

now there are tons of analyses done already about the second game, so i won't go super into it, but i just wanted to wrap up how well the foreshadowing has been done in the show.

at the end of the first game, joel kills everyone in that hospital for ellie because he isn't willing to sacrifice his world for the world. understandably so, since he doesn't owe the world anything after what it has taken from him. however, his unwillingness to sacrifice ellie forced him to make brutal choices that resulted in deaths of people who're just as important to others as ellie is to him.

when he killed the doctor, he created a murderous intent in that doctor's daughter (sound familiar?). he didn't care what the cost was, as long as ellie was safe. when abby killed joel, she created a murderous intent in ellie. she didn't care what the cost was, as long as she got her revenge.

and when it boiled down to ellie, who we already know to be violent, we all expected her to fall right into the cycle. but by the end of her journey, she'd learned her lessons. she already lost everyone by going on her quest for vengeance, including her own sense of self. she couldn't even allow herself to be happy with her new family without thinking about joel. if she took abby's life, she probably would've just set lev into the same cycle that everyone before them had already fallen prey to. and if ellie was killed, then someone from ellie's side would've gone after lev, etcetera etcetera. it needed to stop eventually, and how fitting was it, that it stopped with ellie?

[astarionbae]

Benjamin “Benji” Yoon was born December 1st, 1994, to his parents that were immigrants from South Korea in Denver, Colorado. When the Cordyceps brain infection hit, they were safely placed in an operational quarantine zone while his two older brothers had to board themselves up in their college dorms at the University of Eastern Colorado. As the years progressed, Benji’s father who worked for the military died in a helicopter crash during a rescue mission in the mountains. His mother, who had taken an active part of the local uprisings due to the lack of resources and food, had joined the Fireflies to try and find a vaccine.

In the QZ, during his teenage years, Benji had banded together with a group that called themselves “Volun” which was the word volunteer just shortened. They’d volunteer willingly to smuggle items back and forth for the less fortunate like modern day Robin Hoods. On a late night run, they were attacked by a horde of infected and two of the bunch were bitten without telling anyone. The next morning, the QZ was no more, being overrun by Runners. 

Benji escaped with his group that was left, the sum of them finding an old town near Whitefish Lake and trying to make due with living. Their people grew which meant there was more mouths to feed which meant to find a new means to survive. When the leader of Volun suggested that they take in traitors and passer-byers as a source of supplies, Benji had gathered up food and weapons and left in a hurry. 

On his own, Benji meets Billie Jean Miller and her pet dog, the two of them forming a partnership as they head East toward Pennsylvania. On the way they meet more and more survivors, forming their own group called Scavengers that loot old buildings and salvage anything that they can get their hands on. They quickly become a family and are willing to do whatever it takes to save one another. 

When word gets out that Billie Jean’s father smuggling a girl to the Fireflies in Colorado, whose more qualified then the guy who was born and raised there? 

taglist; @rey-of-luke, @edshopper, @fandomqueenlove, @purpleyearning, @mmmayflower2016, @seize-the-droid, @maddyperiez, @foxesandmagic, @harleyquinnzelz, @bravelittleflower, @anotherunreadblog, @kendelias, @dreamerwithapen1, @kiara-carrera, @phoebestarks, @rickiisrad, @anqelwiithhxrns, @the-multifandommess-blog, @ocs-supporting-ocs, @luucypevensie, @claryxjackson, @aaronhotchstuff, @susiesamurai, @witchofinterest, @heresthefanfiction, @reysfinn @malice1329, @arrthurpendragon, @margoshansons, @richitozier, @waterloou, @bobfloydsbabe, @decennia, @chrissymunson, @asirensrage, @starcrossedjedis, @samwilsonns, @zoyazenik, @dyhlanobrien, @eddiesmunsons, @bisexualterror, @squirrelstone, @lucys-chen, @victoriapedrcttis, @starlit-epiphany, @carmens-garden, 

[k8fics]

RUINED LEGACY — SMALL DETAILS

‘Ruined Legacy’ spotify playlist

‘Ruined Legacy’ pinterest board

things to know before reading ‘Ruined Legacy’ :

Joel Miller x f!reader — trying not to use Y/N

Based off of TLOU game timeline! Though, there are a few details from the show.

Instead of going to the University of Eastern Colorado right away, Joel and Ellie decide to stay in Jackson for a couple days.

Content could be triggering!

rating: R — warning! contents include; the apocalypse, abusive relationship, murder/killings, slight SA mentioned (not explicitly described), age gap (16 years), cussing, sex, ANGST!!

setting: autumn, 2033 - Jackson, Wyoming

synopsis: When Ellie finds the hardened shell of a - once fragile - girl curled up in the wood, Joel reluctantly takes her along with them. He knows he can’t trust the woman, but what he doesn’t know is that her dark past is the reason why.

character design:

Y/N

16 in 2013, 36 in 2033

Survived with her parents for 6 years before they were killed.

Shy girl who hardened overtime due to ‘living’ with her parents’ killer.

Weapons of choice: Metal pipe & her father’s hunting knife.

Joel Miller

32 in 2013, 52 in 2033

Face-claim: TLOU game's Joel Miller & Pedro Pascal's Joel Miller

*And of course all other characters in TLOU including Ellie!*

-

i think that's all (hopefully)