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Genshin Impact | Wallpapers from Unlimited Throwing Simulation
Cleaned and upscaled by asddzr on bilibili
Download Link (Google Drive)
#genshin impact#event artworks#web event artworks#character artworks#enemy artworks#skirk#tartaglia#childe#weekly bosses#all-devouring narwhal#unlimited throwing simulation#wallpapers
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Unlimited Throwing Simulation - Genshin Impact
#art references#art reference#genshin impact#gi#web event#Unlimited Throwing Simulation#skirk#tartaglia#childe#All-Devouring Narwhal#Rifthound#dragaliaarchivewebeventsgenshin
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The two wallpapers from the “Unlimited Throwing Simulation” Web event
#skirk#childe#genshin impact#web event#unlimited throwing simulation#skirk gi#childe gi#gi#pngs#editing#png#mine#wallpapers#desktop wallpapers#tartaglia#childe ajax tartaglia#the amount of effort and time put into getting the skirk one is borderline *embarrassing*#nightmareseditingpngs
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SKIRK ❖ unlimited throwing simulation
bonus:
#genshin#genshin impact#genshinedit#genshinet#skirk#childe#m:gifs#m:*#m:gifs:skirk#okay the childe yeeting is getting milked a little too much just like everything about her but i'll take one more
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"Unlimited Throwing Simulation" —— The web event for Genshin Impact's new character: Skirk is now available.

>> Click to Take Part in Event <<
〓Event Duration〓
06/20/2025 – 06/27/2025 23:59 (UTC+8)
〓Eligibility〓
Reach Adventure Rank 10 or above
〓Event Summary〓
During the event, you will need to help Skirk defeat Riftwolves and complete designated missions. Upon completion, you will receive in-game items as rewards.
〓In-Game Rewards〓
After defeating Riftwolves, share your battle results to obtain in-game rewards, such as Primogems and Character Enhancement Materials.
〓Event Notes〓
1. Please log in to the event using your HoYoverse Account and select your corresponding character in Genshin Impact to take part. This will ensure that your rewards can be sent and claimed correctly.
2. The event wallpaper is not available after the event ends. Please download and save it in time.
3. After completing the designated missions, the in-game rewards will be distributed via in-game mail. The mail will expire after 30 days, so don't forget to claim the rewards in time.
4. After checking the box to agree to publicize your in-game nickname and corresponding scores, you can view the leaderboard (note: leaderboard updates may be delayed).
*This web event is provided purely for entertainment. It is not indicative of any related gameplay features in Genshin Impact.
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i know the galra had ten thousand years and unlimited resources to build up their defences and offences, to create an insane amount of weapons, to do evil experiments, and rule far across the universe, but HOW does it go from voltron being the defender of the universe, the most powerful weapon in the universe, something that zarkon has been hunting after for ten thousand years, something that made sendak (a very strong galra commander who would not let anyone stand in his way, according to himself) gasp and RUN.
yes he didnt fully run away but he retreated; he watched his battle cruiser get blown to fucking pieces, and remember this is the first time the paladins formed voltron. there was no sword. it was like their second or third time flying in their lions, and the only one that has had consistent flight simulations and training for however long is lance, and even then i think we saw him struggle to strategise a battle plan when going after the yellow lion with hunk because we heard him say he would cover hunk, we saw him carry that out but then get overwhelmed by the galra fighters in the air and take off after them.
hes a damn good pilot, and they all are, especially in the lions, but this is on a next level to what they could've been training for at the garrison.
so, this takes me to my point, why in the fucking world was voltron so fucking nerfed in the later seasons. like yes i dont want an easy win for voltron every battle, yknow, its about them working together as a team, its about voltron not always being the solution (aka when its better for them to split off into lions while they strategise), its about them actually coming up with strategies instead of just going in voltron first and hoping for the best.
its been a while since i watched the later seasons but rn im mostly thinking of atlas. like it just doesnt really make sense to me tbh? to build the atlas, yes, its essentially a replacement for the castleship, a place for a team to watch voltron from the sky, provide back up, but then to have it form into a voltron-esque robot ??? i just dont think thats where they should have taken it.
im glad for the castle of lions to take an important role in some episodes, where again the answer lies outside of JUST voltron, but it doesnt really make sense to build another giant robot.
it kind of takes away the development the paladins are supposed to go through as well, to work together better and stronger as a team thus opening up more weapons from voltron and learning how to fight in different ways.
idk i think the entire thing was kinda over-thought at the end as they were trying to keep the show going, but missing some of the other storylines they could've gone down, (black paladin lance, lotor redemption arc (which he did seemingly have but all along they planned to throw that in the bin), the team coming together as friends more often developing their bond as voltron but also as people, the team seeing their families again, not killing off shiro's FUCKING CANON BOYFRIEND IN A STUPID FUCKING SHITTY WAY ADAM DIDNT DESERVE TO DIE YALL ARE JUST COWARDS, and also the team kinda reflecting back to how they were jn the beginning and realizing they have grown (i say the team but i mostly mean lance and hunk because the writers just did not give two shits about them they really didnt get the chance to become fully thought out characters, they just had some insecurities and interests that were ignored until convenient then ignored again)).
#voltron legendary defender#i will not let this show die but also half the show doesnt actually exist its just made up in my head#i choose what to believe and what to ignore in this show tbh#ummmm yh feel free to ignore this#im still tagging tho#voltron#vld#mullettaegi#but overall voltron itself was done dirty like ??? how are you gonna make a show about a legendary robot and then just add another robot too
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If anyone wants to join come on over
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Angel Island Guardians Wachowski pt 1 backstory
tldr: Sonic Unleashed based universe where Mobians, Chao, Humans + sacred creatures just exist. Like real life except there's Mobians just chilling on the streets + in the history books.
This exists for 2 reasons: More Mobians, Sonic needs friends. And giving Tom and Maddie some things to do for plot/character aside from, "this our foster kid Sonic and the family nemesis Eggman".
This is my sandbox, please sit and enjoy. Incorporating video game/TV show lore in broad strokes, just take what you want.
Part 1: general changes (here)
Part 2: Sonic movie 1 + 2 changes (https://www.tumblr.com/lazlolullaby/766607274156376064/angel-island-guardians-wachowski-pt-2-movie?source=share)
~millions of years ago, when the Earth was created
In ancient times, the Master Emerald and the Chaos emeralds were created when Light and Dark Gaia first clashed. Mobians and Humans have used them for power, fought over them, but they are now considered myths. Their power to change thought into reality created some sacred beasts like the Pheonix from Unleashed, weird architecture / rock loop de loops, etc. Chao gardens exist as protected areas across the globe.
~50 years ago (only to be revealed in Movie 3)
A joint Mobian/Human project of researching and healing diseases that affect one species but not the other was created. Several creatures were created in pursuit of immortality. (Involve the family of Dr. Starline, Tails, or Sticks as their main Mobian scientist?). The Biolizard happened, Shadow was created for Maria, the Gizoid incident, etc. But it was shut down violently by GUN. Any creatures that were made were placed in cold storage.
Per the fandom theory, Grandpa Wachowski shot Maria and had issues with it. He left to Green Hills.
~25 years ago (only to be revealed in movie 2)
The Echidnas gathered the Emeralds + were about to attack the Master Emerald Temple and the Chao. Tikal summoned the Owls + and tried to fight. The Temple was raised out of the ground to become Angel Island. The island gets teleported away. Tikal's dedication changed many minds and (most) Echidnas stopped being Warriors and decided just to live as civilians.
Angel Island was teleported to Green Hills. It floats above the forests and moves in a pattern. There's a few spots per year for roughly 1-2 weeks that gets it close enough to the ground so people can jump on it and climb the sheer rock face. It's difficult for most people and Mobians.
Dad Wachowski and his bestie, Maddie's Dad... uh...Dad Sumpter, figure it out. There's just a small Chao garden and a Temple for the Master Emerald, room for a small edible garden, but due to the altitude and rain conditions it's hard to grow anything substantial. The Spirit of Tikal tells the besties what happened. They decide to keep it a secret, because why would they want unlimited power anyway? They tell people that it's too hard to climb, and spend the next few years visibly "training" to get strong enough to climb up there.
(training where they go to the local rock climbing place and throw buckets of the water on each other to simulate rain. There's a local competition now.)
Then they take pictures of barren places for the research + get the Government to sign off that it's a highly dangerous hike and there's just the Chao. The Guardians have to divert attention from thrill seeking tourists, but it's not bad. Some locals suspect something is up there, but don't pry.
Tom Wachowski + Maddie Sumpter grow up each year watching their family climb up the Island and check in on the Emerald and the Chao. Then they do it too. Rachel was trained, but she's been out of practice since moving to San Francisco. Since they don't have kids, they're looking into getting a club together of locals who are in on it. Maybe the Thorndykes, since they're rich and don't need to have jobs to live? But they only have a vacation home, so it's not feasible.
Also the Wachowskis have Chao Companions that come down and chill with them sometimes. Based on the SA2 Chao they are both adults. Tom's is Normal/Power, Maddie's is a Fly/Power. (Cheese is still normal/baby, but I like the peachy Fly/Run to match Cream the Rabbit)
(image id: infographic chart showing the difference between the Chao forms based on stats of Normal, power, run, fly, swim, and baby form.)
~15 years ago (also movie 2 + adding context for movie 1)
Longclaw comes back and says she's got a better plan for the Master Emerald. Dad Wachowski and Dad Sumpter team up with her to bury the Master Emerald in the Ruins and teleport and hide the compass in the Siberian mountains.
Unfortunately. Locke the Echidna followed them back to Angel Island. Dad Sumpter convinced Locke that he was the only one who knows where the Emerald is. Locke kills Dad Sumpter in front of Dad Wachowski, Tom, and Maddie. It's traumatic, Locke escapes.
Maddie stops climbing for grief reasons + focuses on her veterinary degree. Tom supports her. Since there's no more Master Emerald, Tom breathes easy for a bit. But then he's feeling lost without something to protect, what his family has been doing since before he was born.
Tom is still a cop, but in this world he's got "unexcused absences" (Chao emergencies), "a bad exam record" (issues with the material), and "won't meet his arrest rates" (that would follow kids for life for a dumb mistake!) so he's not qualified for Sheriff. Which is dumb because he knows the protocols, knows the people, people trust him.
(Small town "technically loose cannon" cop that's less likely to abuse his authority/power than actual real life cops, definitely still "copganda"/"this is the Ideal Cop that wields his Authority for Good Reasons", but it balances with the military depiction of "Too Much Force is Not Enough Force" that pops up in 1+2 and i hope to hell that the military continues to be assholes in Movie 3.)
anyway the local park rangers are trying to poach Tom because he's great at Search and Rescue + knows the emergency town protocols + knows all of the forest trails. (While park rangers do have some of the same issues as Cops, there's less connotations. Tom Deserves Better than being a Cop. Sonic and the franchise deserve better than Copganda.)
Wade is the Sheriff instead. Yes he's still very inconsiderate and incompetent at his job. Yes it's funny.
Maddie is both a pet veterinarian and an emergency Mobian and Chao doctor. Her and Tom trade off when they go to the Garden.
Meanwhile on the other side of the world...
Longclaw finds Sonic and takes care of him. We don't know why Sonic has superpowers he just does. we love that for him.
Locke the Echidna was unfortunately, not happy he missed the Emerald, grabbed his son and stole "the Flames of Disaster" so Knuckles could be powerful, and raised him to fight. That's why Knuckles is the Last Echidna Warrior, sworn to find and protect the Master Emerald.
Blaze, unable to take her family birthright as the guardian of Iblis, ended up with Mephiles power set. Smoke manipulation and shadow teleport. She's training to get the Flames back.
Silver got involved with the power transfer somehow and is actually the Iblis Trigger, not that anyone knows it. He's training to also head out with Blaze to collect the Flames.
(but this Knuckles + Blaze + Silver drama doesn't happen until the TV show.)
~10 years ago
Locke thought Longclaw kept the compass to the Master Emerald for herself. He gathered allies to attack her. Same as in Movie 1, Sonic was sent away for his protection.
Sonic was sent to Angel Island. He was traumatized and mute for a bit, swore never to talk about his speed powers. He spends a few days alone + was afraid to approach the Chao until he calmed down.
Tom was able to collect him and give him to a local Mobian foster family. Vanilla the Rabbit takes Sonic in, and he's a great big brother to Cream. Amy is "the girl next door who could beat you senseless". Tails' parents just drop him off in the woods one day and Sonic finds him.
Sonic grows up in Green Hills, surrounded by friends but still restless. There's projected movies in the park, so he can still see "Speed" and adore Keanu Reeves. (sudden impulse to make Sandra Bullock a Mobian. the exploding bus can only be driven by Mobians. Miss Congeniality but with Mobians.)
Cream and Tails both learn how to fly, so they go to Angel Island whenever they want. Sonic can also jump off of some mountains to get to the Island before it's time. This is where Cream meets Cheese.
Tom has a slight panic, but doesn't say anything about the Temple or the Master Emerald until "it's relevant" (see: when movie 2 happens). He just says that it's hard to get up and down for most people, his family checks in on the Chao when they can, please tell your family when you'll be up there so they won't worry.
.
.
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so. that's all the set up and world-building notes. Hope you liked it~ You've got blanket permission to use these ideas in your fanworks, but NO AI please, it's not enrichment if you're not doing it.
#sonic the hedgehog#Tom Wachowski#Sonic movie AU#Respect Chip the Light Gaia#i just think its a cop out that Sonic is an alien. What can't you handle an alternate universe with furries???#what is so unbelievable about that?#lazlo's lulls#maddie wachowski#knuckles the echidna#locke the echidna#blaze the cat#Sonic 06 references I guess
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So, one of the nuclear bombs we created, a man named Teller really wanted to make stronger ones, so..
One of them, named the Hydrogen Bomb, that we made can create a weapon so violent, that for a brief moment, they simulate a star, when this was first tested, it instantly erased an island from the map. Two years later, he tested an even bigger nuke, around 1000 times more powerful then the first nukes ever created. Teller thought that this wasn’t enough, so.. he wanted a bomb with almost unlimited power.
Project Sundial. A bomb meant to make all other bombs seem like nothing. Almost everything about it is classified to us, but what we do know is kinda terrifying.
Sundial wouldn’t be some warhead loaded onto a bomber and dropped on a target— no. It would be a ‘backyard bomb’ essentially, if it can destroy the world, why bother moving it at all? No need to throw it at your rivals, you can just blow it up right in front of you. We don’t know where it would’ve been put, maybe on some remote island, or in the center of the country, it wouldn’t matter. We still don’t know the exact plans, but still.
From what we know, it would’ve been 2000 tons. Thank the stars that we haven’t tested anything remotely like this. This is what we have speculated would’ve happened.
For a moment, a gigantic fireball would appear, around 31 miles in diameter, larger than the horizon you can see.
Everything within 250 miles would be set ablaze, the surrounding deserts turn into fields of glass, then comes the blast wave. Nine earthquakes shakes the entire country, the sound of the blast is heard around the world. Dark ash clouds begin to cover the sky, it’s kinda like an asteroid striking, or a volcano erupting then a nuclear war. Most people would die. But yay, we won. Good thing it wasn’t built, even we have standards! instead of one world destroyer, we have around 20,000 nukes that could do it all together, hidden in bunkers or under the sea.
(Sorry for the long thing, I was just bored and wanted to spout some horrific knowledge to everyone!)
...
...
...
...why are you three making that face?
Well because of what they just said!
...?
...you- you didn't hear it?
..no?
...Okay, that's weird but.. good... let's uh stop talking about this please.
*Dark shivers*
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Sorry I meant to make the summary part 1 but Tumblr says there's a glitch. With the group gathered and the information on the table they go for the first piece that is in a building, while Badatong guards the entrance, Car Cannon, 117 and the captain go inside suffering the typical cliché traps, that is, the ball that crushes them, the arrows on the walls, the slide that takes them to the room, it is ironic thinking about it because humans could develop technology to be able to go all into space but not laser weapons or a machine gun, anyway, when solving what was obviously a riddle but the characters called buttons, they get the fire piece, they actually have names but they are too long, but the place collapses while outside Badatong fights with Knife but they save him and come out victorious, the next piece is in an ice and snowy cave, entering only the boss and the group of good guys go there but Car Cannon runs into a snowflake that makes a fog appear and takes him to another part where the boss attacks him, and the good group does not realize what should not happen because they are in a narrow place but Badatong also finds a flake and realizes that they are nanomachines and also takes him to another part meeting the boss and the greenish defeated, the good group meets and fight with the boss who managed to do that because he already had the ice piece but they manage to get it and leave, the magnetic piece is in a well, and they make an obvious criticism of the consumerism of resources because 117 criticizes humans for creating weapons they use many resources so that in the end they are useless and throw them away something that Badatong understands the anger because that happened to his planet, Badatong himself goes down but the bad guys attack them even so they get the piece that was between the wall and they explode the dynamite at the end of the well but it makes a very big explosion and 117 is captured by the bad guys who use him to blackmail them to go deliver the pieces, then they go to the place of the fourth and last piece which is a stone labyrinth while 117 guides the bad guys to a pillar where there is a chest with the dragon piece and the good guys also find it and they make the exchange but it was a trap, the real dragon piece being inside the pillar and they manage to get it, then they go to an abandoned base but still having the security activated, 117 gets into the network and so the group can enter they must fight in a simulation against their evil versions, as if it were Shattered Glass, they win and the plot twist comes because when they put the crystals on the ceiling a scorpion robot comes out with a tail where there is a sphere where the unlimited energy is and 117 betrays them by controlling the robot, it turns out that he wants revenge on the humans because they used him for the job and abandoned him along with the rest of the models, the plot twist is original but it is still clear that it is the drama of the robot "ayyy I hate humans" and it is also a too big change of personality, he went from being clumsy and needing to be protected but a good friend to a Disney villain, anyway, the bad guys show up and the two groups join together to defeat 117 and defeat him, but another plot twist comes because Wu betrays the dark alliance and They throw in another plot twist because Wu betrays again but it hasn't even been 5 seconds, this is like I said before, something original but not very well worked because it comes out of nowhere like 117, Wu started out looking like the cliché of the bootlicking henchman then a traitor and now a strategist who planned all this in just 5 seconds, the place collapses because the bad guys grabbed a ship then the captain falls and only Car, Wu and Badatong are left who argue then Wu talks about a project, the cliché of wanting to create the "super soldier" but this makes him suffer. Well that's the summary, there are another 10 chapters left but I needed to vent.
#transformers#mi critica de fic#criticar#critical role#gender critical#robot#robots#mecha#机变英盟#british alliance
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Genshin Impact | Misc. Assets from Unlimited Throwing Simulation
Download Link (Google Drive)
#genshin impact#event artworks#web event artworks#assets#unlimited throwing simulation#character artworks#tartaglia#childe#skirk#enemy artworks#bosses#weekly bosses#all-devouring narwhal#pngs
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Procedural Content Generation: How to Build Infinite Levels in Your Mobile Game
Imagine creating a game world that never repeats, where every play session brings a totally unique adventure. Welcome to the magic of procedural content generation (PCG) – the secret weapon of modern mobile game development that's revolutionizing how we think about game design!

What is Procedural Content Generation?
Procedural content generation is like having a tireless game designer living inside your code. Instead of manually crafting every single level, environment, or challenge, you create sophisticated algorithms that generate content dynamically. It's the difference between painting each scene by hand and teaching a talented artist to create masterpieces on demand.
Why Mobile Game Developers Love PCG
In the competitive world of mobile game development, PCG offers some incredible advantages:
Unlimited replay value
Reduced development time
Minimal storage requirements
Unique player experiences every time
Cost-effective content creation
The Core Principles of Procedural Generation
1. Algorithmic Creativity
Think of procedural generation as a set of creative rules. You're not just randomly throwing things together – you're establishing a sophisticated system that:
Follows specific design guidelines
Maintains game balance
Creates meaningful, playable content
Ensures consistent quality
2. Seed-Based Generation
Every procedurally generated world starts with a seed – a starting point that determines how content will be created. It's like having a unique DNA for each game world that ensures:
Reproducibility
Predictable randomness
Consistent player experiences
Implementing Procedural Generation in Mobile Games
Terrain Generation
Creating realistic and engaging environments is an art form in mobile game development. Effective terrain generation involves:
Noise algorithms (Perlin noise is a classic)
Layered terrain creation
Biome-specific rules
Elevation and landscape variation
Enemy and Challenge Placement
Procedural generation isn't just about landscapes – it's about creating meaningful gameplay experiences:
Dynamic difficulty scaling
Intelligent enemy spawning
Strategic challenge placement
Balanced progression systems
Technical Approaches to PCG
Cellular Automata
Imagine creating complex systems that evolve based on simple rules. Cellular automata can generate:
Cave-like environments
Organic-looking landscapes
Complex ecosystem simulations
Voronoi Diagrams
A powerful technique for creating:
Unique map layouts
Natural-looking terrain divisions
Interesting geographical features
Challenges in Procedural Generation
Maintaining Quality Control
The biggest challenge in mobile game development's procedural generation is ensuring consistent quality. Strategies include:
Extensive rule-based systems
Machine learning validation
Handcrafted template libraries
Continuous algorithm refinement
Performance Considerations
Mobile devices have limited resources, so your PCG algorithms must be:
Lightweight
Efficient
Quick to generate content
Minimal memory usage
Real-World Examples in Mobile Gaming
Roguelike Games
Games like "Hades" and "Spelunky" have mastered procedural generation, creating:
Unique dungeon layouts
Randomized enemy encounters
Personalized player experiences
Exploration Games
Titles like "No Man's Sky" showcase how PCG can create entire universes with:
Unique planetary systems
Diverse ecosystems
Countless exploration possibilities
Advanced PCG Techniques
Machine Learning Integration
The future of mobile game development includes:
AI-driven content generation
Adaptive difficulty systems
Personalized player experiences
Smart content creation
Hybrid Generation Models
Combining handcrafted elements with procedural generation:
Create base templates
Use algorithms to add variation
Maintain core game design integrity
Best Practices for Successful PCG
Start Simple
Begin with basic generation rules
Gradually increase complexity
Test and iterate continuously
Establish Clear Constraints
Define generation boundaries
Create consistent rulesets
Ensure playable content
Performance Optimization
Use efficient algorithms
Implement smart caching
Minimize computational overhead
The Future of Procedural Generation
As mobile game development continues to evolve, expect:
More sophisticated generation techniques
AI-enhanced content creation
Hyper-personalized gaming experiences
Reduced development costs
Conclusion: Unleashing Infinite Creativity
Procedural content generation isn't just a technique – it's a paradigm shift in mobile game development. By mastering these algorithms, you're not just creating a game; you're building entire worlds limited only by your imagination.
Pro Tip: Treat your procedural generation system like a game designer. Give it clear rules, creative constraints, and the freedom to surprise you!
#game#mobile game development#multiplayer games#metaverse#nft#gaming#blockchain#unity game development#vr games
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oh boy if you don't know anything about blaseball this is gonna be a nightmare of an explanation because i do NOT have the space on this post to explain the plot of blaseball, however, i can grab a short powerpoint about the broad strokes if you're curious.
if you AREN'T familiar with blaseball the Absolute Basics you need to know to make this even a little bit legible are: blaseball (2020-2023) was a baseball simulator that was also a horror game about killing gods, dying in a fire, community, and the failures of capitalism. it was beautiful and i miss her everyday.
this au is less "making the story of empires into blaseball" and more "throwing the empires characters into blaseball", and thankfully for those of you who don't know anything about blaseball, most of the empires characters don't have a blaseball analogue. unfortunately that's not going to make anything i say about anyone, blaseball analogue or not, make any sense. sorry.
anyways let's get into it.
so, here's what position everyone is in and what team(s) they play for. i also wrote down any mods they have if i decided to give them mods.
False: False Symmetry II is a season 2 pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic, traded to the Core Mechanics after they show up, Mild
S1 Fwhip: Fwhip Rose is a batter for the Chicago Firefighters, Fireeater
S2 Fwhip: Fail Whip is a batter for the Core Mechanics
S1 Gem: Gem Rose is a batter for the Yellowstone Magic, Precognition
S2 Gem: Gemini Tay is a pitcher for the Hellmouth Sunbeams
S1 Joey: Joey [last name TBD] starts season 1 as a batter for the Mexico City Wild Wings, plays for the Shelled One’s Pods, and then falls back to the Wild Wings, Siphon
S2 Joey: Joey Azimuth is a batter for the Atlantis Georgias
S1 Katherine: Katherine Blossom is a “Wild Low” batter in general. Through feedback, blessings, etc., she swaps between the LA Unlimited Tacos, Boston Flowers, and Miami Dale a lot, but she started on the Flowers
S2 Katherine: Katherine Grove is a batter for the New York Millennials
S1 Lizzie: Lizzie Beans is a pitcher for the Canada Moist Talkers, she’s alternated in season 7 and becomes S2 Lizzie
S2 Lizzie: Lizzie “Shadow Lady” Beans is a batter for the Canada Moist Talkers. She picks up the “Shadow Lady” nickname after being alternated and she has the Beans last name by virtue of Blaseball Alt rules. I haven’t decided if that means she and S1 Joel stay married.
S1 Sausage: Mythical J Sausage starts season 1 as a batter for the Dallas Steaks, plays for the Shelled One’s Pods, and falls to the Boston Flowers (and also has a big wardrobe and personality change into season 2 Sausage’s whole thing)
Oli: Oli Orionsound is a pitcher for the Seattle Garages
S1 Pix: Pixl Riffs is a pitcher for the Kansas City Breath Mints, roaming, he walks out of hell Pudge Nakamoto style cause I think it’s funny
S2 Pix: Pixl Rifts is a batter for the Baltimore Crabs, and then after shenanigans, Yellowstone Magic
Pearl: Pearl Moon is a batter for the Boston Flowers, then after she dies, she plays for the Hall Stars and is released
S1 Shubble: Shrub Berry is a batter for the Hades Tigers
S2 Shubble: Shelby Moore is a batter for the Yellowstone Magic who dies in season 3 and is resurrected on a joke as a pitcher for the Houston Spies
S1 Scott: Scott Riven is a pitcher for the Seattle Garages, then Bullshit Happens, and sends him to the Shelled One’s Pods and the Hall Stars, where he is eventually released
S2 Scott: Scott Smajor is a batter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves, Flinch
S1 Joel: Joel Beans is a batter for the Hawai’i Fridays
S2 Joel: Joel [last name TBD] is a batter for the San Francisco Lovers, then gets ego and Vaulted, so he plays for the Vault Legends, has the Charm modifier
S1 Jimmy: Jimmy Solidarity is a batter for the Canada Moist Talkers, he is alternated in season 11, and becomes S2 Jimmy, and shortly feedbacked or otherwise traded
S2 Jimmy: Jimmy Solidarity is a batter for the Hellmouth Sunbeams
Xornoth: Xornoth Riven is a pitcher for the Yellowstone Magic, then Bullshit Happens that eventually results in him playing for the Hall Stars and being released
Hermes: Hermes Hermès (tentative name) is a batter for the Miami Dale
Eddie: Eddie Sausage is a batter for the Dallas SteaksMaria: Maria Sausage is a pitcher for the Tokyo Lift
now for the plot
Most of this AU is just “I have placed the Empires characters in the plot of Blaseball”, but some of it is making Empires characters into pre-existing Blaseball characters.
Those being: Sausage, False, Pearl, Xornoth, S2 Shubble, and S2 Pix.
Xornoth is this world’s Jaylen. He and Scott are sibling pitchers on different teams with a friendly rivalry- Scott is good, but not on the same level as Xornoth. Xornoth is killed with the opening of the Forbidden Book, and Scott receives the Max Out Pitcher blessing, and takes Xornoth’s place as the best pitcher in the league. The Garages manage to keep him because I don’t want to put him anywhere else, though.
When the Forbidden Book opens, we have a similar but slightly Off election shenanigan as the one that actually happened in season 1. Rather than the election running three times, the timeline splitting into thirds, and certain parts of the other timelines, like Derrick Kreuger being Jaylen’s replacement, making their way over here, three universes who opened the Forbidden Book at once smash into each other, and things get scrambled. The three universes contain the Hermits, the Life Series players, and the Empires players. When this smoosh happens, the player who was meant to replace Xornoth is thrown into Hermitcraft, and False is thrown into the Empires universe, coming out very scrambled. This is how she ends up with the Mild curse without having played the Pods. Side effect of universe hopping.
Xornoth is necromancied (yes, by the Magic. Don’t worry about it.) in season 6, and returns with Debt. He kills the same players Jaylen did, and also Pearl, who is our Sebastian Telephone stand-in.
Pearl played for the Boston Flowers until her death, and we’re ignoring that time Seb got alternated for this. Sausage is our Jessica Telephone, starting his career on the Dallas Steaks (alongside Eddie). He has his heel arc there, and he’s one of the first players to be Shelled. Scott and Joey are also Shelled at some point.
After Xornoth’s resurrection, his rivalry with Scott becomes a lot less friendly because Xornoth kills people now. At some point in season 9, Pixl Rifts, a batter for the Crabs, dies. This is a surprise tool that will help up later.
During season 9, Lizzie is alternated and turns into a cat girl. Sorry Joel, no matter how much you attempt to dodge the plot, it will hit you somehow. Your wife is a cat now.
Later is now! The Microphone- who is still Wyatt Mason, dw about it- pulls the repeat history thing, and swaps Xornoth into the Hall with Pix. Yup, he’s our Tillman for this AU. Don’t worry he doesn’t suck. I just thought this worked well and also would be really funny if Oli wrote shutout about him.
Xornoth and Pearl both play for the Hall Stars, alongside the rest of them, and Scott, Sausage, and Joey play for the Shelled One’s Pods, also alongside the others. Scott and Xornoth are the two pitchers swapping throughout the game, and Pearl dies again, and then god is dead yay! When it’s over, the Hall Stars are released, including Scott, Xornoth, and Pearl, because the Monitor lets everyone who played for the team go.
Sausage falls to the Boston Flowers while Joey falls back to the Wild Wings. Sausage then has a character arc that turns him design and personality wise into his season 2 counterpart.
The Expansion teams bring in a few of our s2 characters, but if a s2 character doesn’t play for an expansion team just assume they’ve been here the whole time. Blaseball has a ton of characters with the same name anyways.
During season 11, Jimmy is alternated as well and becomes his s2 counterpart. Sorry Joel, the plot has hit you again, your brother-in-law is a cop now. He then gets feedbacked or otherwise traded to the Hellmouth Sunbeams, where his aesthetic is more thematically appropriate.
The only important plot things for the Expansion Era are:
God Joel gets Ego and is taken into the Vault, because of course he does.
Shelby Moore, who died back during season 3, gets resurrected onto the Spies and gets to go through Chorby Soul chomp hell. However, her debt isn’t rerolled into unstable because I don’t want it to be, so she lives, and eventually stops having so much soul due to getting munched, and gets to be happy.
Joel Beans dies when the Fridays are incinerated in season 24. Don’t worry he gets better.
Pixl Rifts survives the Expansion Era unlike Tillman (and probably doesn't become Vaulted? Unsure) because I think it's more fun this way.
Pixl Riffs (s1 Pix) dies at some point but he has roaming, so it’s fine, he just says “If it sucks, hit da bricks” and walks out of the Hall, Pudge Nakamoto style.
False is traded to the Mechanics after gate crash because it’s just wildly more in line with her aesthetic than the Magic.
does anyone want to hear about my empires blaseball au. i have so many thoughts about this au.
#mcyt blaseball au#empires smp#i thought too hard about blaseball and the fact that i miss it today so we have this. whoopsies.
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