#using the word kin felt so weird

[mysticaldistancing]

Personal thought, nothing important.

Upon picking up and reading The Brothers Karamazov for the first time, I had already anticipated myself to be interested and indeed captivated by Ivan, as many people do, as many people already are. And they are correct, no less. He's impressive. He is that such a complex individual, with such depth, with such development and ideas and thoughts and inner turmoil and monologues.

Yet, why is my favourite character turns out to be Alyosha? (To my surprise, of course. I was so sure back then.)

Well, well. To put it briefly, the mere fact that Ivan is me. I understand him by heart, horrifyingly so, almost feeling myself was being written there, scary! Why he did what he did, why he act how he act, why he chose what he had chosen and why he became mad itself. Ivan is not at the slightest a mystery to me, he is painfully obvious. All his thoughts and I repeat, all his thoughts were the exact copy of mine, even the demon. Goodness. My deconstruction (alone, 14) had completely turned my brain inside out and crush it, I was mad, not delirious but no doubt mad. Strange, unbelievable you'd say. Say what you ought to, I won't condemn you.

But Alyosha. I can't comprehend him, why? Why did he believe with incredible unwavering certainty and is overflowing with love for everything? How come he act like that, say those things, and so on? He is bewildering.

But, he understands Ivan. Despite him being the polar opposite of him in terms of philosophy and belief. But he accepted him, forgiven him, pray for him, listened to him, never dismissing him, cared for him, loved him completely unconditionally, kissed him. And I want that, I want just that! Someone who finally understand, someone who—instead of trying to 'fix' what is me for some reason—embraced me. Ivan went on such length finally pouring out his soul bare without leaving anything hidden, to him and to him alone as "the first reader (well, listener) of my poem", Alyosha simply went and kissed him. Who needn't that?

So that's why. Alexei Karamazov is the acceptance and forgiveness that I yearn for.

[prapaiwife]

Ssaeng vs fan

It's telling in this episode they showed us two different fans interactions with Kin! One with one fan just basically praising him for being such an amazing actor and even implying that he's going to win the best new actor award! This was just a simple wholesome interaction and most of all kin was happily conversing and comfortable with his fan. And then with the other interaction with the ssaeng it was just so uncomfortable. The way she spoke to him as if she chose her words carefully to literally see if she can get anything out of him any information. She didn't really care nor see that she put him in an uncomfortable situation and position. But kin being so nice he tried to keep the conversation light but she continually made it dark. Kin himself obviously being in the industry he's had both of these interactions on both hands. So he immediately felt the difference he had with the first fan in the store compared to when she came in. Cuz he was already getting these weird signs that something is very off with him hearing cameras flashing. And him also just remembering her face from the beginning that pretty much was ingrained in his mind! So the fact that he could sense from her energy that it was completely off says a lot.

But it also says a lot that they showed us those two different interactions so people can know what is acceptable and whaf isn't at all. Seeing your favorite person your idol in person and letting them know how much they have made such a positive influence in your life is great. There's no harm going up to them to simply just praise him for what they do for what they love. But to have this a very kind of demanding demeanor tourism with just completely turn them off completely from you. And you put them in an uncomfortable position say you love them but you talk to them as if you own them as if they are old to tell you every single part of their life their business. That is not normal and that is not acceptable there's not always going to be people like Kin who was very empathetic and very understanding. Like he was with her till the end to even chop the charges against her! he knew that everything she did was off the rails and not acceptable. But he also heard her out.. and her praying at her heart to him about how she just wanted that one-on-one moment the one that they're having right now. But the lengths that she took to get this moment the way she made her favorite person that she loves so much uncomfortable and traumatized because this behavior is traumatizing.

She recognized that in the last moment when she says that he's not looking at her the way that he would normally look at his fans. And they should click to her in a moment because this is not a normal fan interaction! But because she is his fan that's what sticks to Kin the most that's the only way he could honestly probably look at this. But then again I don't think it's him coddling her behavior. Is that that he had to basically stoop Domino for her to not feel so I guess you can say disconnected from him because he reaches out to her and touches her hand. But when you're handling people like that who are not in the right mind at all mentally you have to be careful.

[jimpagne]

How Not to be a Cultist: a 4-Step Guide

Following the discharge of both Jimin and Jungkook, I've noticed that a lot of people on both this platform and others have been exhibiting behavior akin to the 'cultists'. I've actually seen a lot of Jikookers point out this behavior as problematic, but other Jikookers get entirely defensive, saying that they could never be the degree of crazy that the 'cultists' are.

Well, they had to start from somewhere... and they probably didn't have anyone within their circles telling them to stop doing problematic behavior. So my only question is, why? Why push back against people within your community trying to stop you from crossing boundaries?

Don't share photos of private and/or non-scheduled moments. For those who may be confused, non-scheduled means events in which were not approved or disclosed for fans. Taking pictures of BTS at a concert or taking pics with them after asking permission to? Totally okay. Taking pictures of BTS when they're walking home at night or going to the airport for a private trip? Not okay. In order to know where they were going to be, most of these people would have had to have bought information regarding them, and by sharing these photos you're only telling these stalkers that you directly support what they're doing. Of course, not every person who accidentally stumbles across them is a stalker, but there are signs that they could be (aka bringing a professional camera, carrying merchandise like albums to be signed, or somehow coincidentally 'bumping' into these people a few too many times in densely populated areas). Some people might sit here and tell me that they missed them so bad... but you are still engaging in a form of stalking. I don't care if it's a way to 'prove your point', the only thing that you have proved to me is that you have 0 boundaries for two very real people and their overall safety. We shouldn't be using leaked photos of other human beings as a 'gotcha' moment to people we dislike. Also, stop looking for their relatives... it's fucking weird. Unless they themselves have a decent social media presence, do not go looking for them. These are people trying to live their lives, and I don't think they appreciate being stalked just for information about a 'ship' that their kin could be part of.

Take every speculation with a MASSIVE grain of salt. Every whisper or speculation should not be taken at face value, and should instead be treated as untrue until proven otherwise, usually by the boys themselves or from the company. For example, when people were talking about where Jikook was, I personally felt like it was a little ridiculous at times how easily people within this community believed the words of these faceless people. Unfortunately, people dropped both photos and videos of Jimin and Jungkook to prove what they said, but at the same time, you should be treating the words of the eye witnesses like their words are maybe... 20-30% possible. Don't take a narrative and run with it, that's what causes cult-like behavior and promoted delusions.

Think critically, make room for doubts. At the end of the day, the idea of Jimin and Jungkook being a couple is still speculative. Many people on here like to say that they personally think that they're real -- which isn't inherently a problem, but I think it's still important to remind ourselves that all of this is just a big guessing game, and nothing has been 100% confirmed. With that being said, another issue that recently came about was the analysis of the room in which Jimin and Jungkook shot their Killin' It Girl dance cover in, some people zeroing in on the exact location and speculating about the room that they might've stayed in. Not only is that incredibly dangerous, but people immediately began stating that it was a hotel specifically for couples or for weddings. I had this issue when it came to people making posts about the hotel they stayed at in GCF in Tokyo, and I would like to remind everyone that just because a hotel markets themselves as being good for couples does not necessarily make it a couple-exclusive space. For example, LOTTE WORLD in Korea is often promoted as a place for couples, but also it is heavily frequented by children and singles alike. Thinking critically about these kind of things can save you from completely jumping into the deep end and making speculations that can actually be more harmful to you, the community, and the boys at hand. Also important to note: Just because someone is Korean does not make them 100% right. Koreans might have a better cultural and linguistic understanding of certain events, but that does not immediately make everything that they say 100% credible. They're still people too, and we've seen stuff in the media pushed by K-netizens that are simply not true.

When you make theories, don't commit to them fully. This ties a little into what I said above... I think it's normal for humans to want to make connections -- after all, it's in our nature. However, some people make theories and then they immediately try to promote them as facts. You can make a theory post, but try to incorporate more language that could suggest doubt or uncertainty. After all, a theory is a theory, not a proven fact. When I made a theory post about Jungkook's tattoos, I made sure to repeat multiple times that I wasn't sure if any of this could hold actual meaning, and I also proposed certain details that poked holes in the theory entirely. This is important. I saw people just flat out state that Jungkook was the one who wrote the caption on Jimin's Instagram post just because he used the '~' in it. As someone who has a relatively high level in the Korean language, I can tell you that using '~' is very common and not just a quirk exclusive to Jungkook. Jimin has even used it in the past before. I think it would be better to maybe write it like: "Jungkook uses this a lot, and I don't think it's entirely crazy to maybe think that he could've wrote it, but again, it's a common writing trait in Korean, so I could be entirely wrong." This type of wording is better than putting ALL of your eggs into one basket and then immediately stating it as the truth.

But yes, these are things that I think you should be incredibly cautious about so this community doesn't delve straight into the deep end and end up like 'the cult'.

[saphronethaleph]

Alive at the end of the day

“Hrrh,” the strange creature said. “...brotherrr?”

Ed felt the bottom drop out of his stomach.

“...what the-” he heard Al say, behind him, but that wasn’t important right now.

He knew that voice.

“Nina?” he asked. “How could...”

The emptiness in his chest flashed over to rage, as he realized he knew exactly how this could have happened.

Shou Tucker.

That complete… Ed couldn’t think straight.

There was a roaring in his ears. He couldn’t finish the thought.

What kind of monster would do this to his own daughter?

“Brotherrr?” the chimera repeated, taking a cautious step closer.

Something about the way it was acting was familiar, but not from Nina or… or Alexander, the poor thing, who was as much a victim in this as Nina was.

The only person who wasn’t a victim in this whole damn situation was Shou.

“It’s me,” he said, crouching down. “What happened to you?”

Even the slight crack in his voice made the chimera flinch, and Ed realized where he’d seen that behaviour before.

It was the kind of thing you got on a scared dog.

Ed was aware that he really wasn’t thinking straight. Not in the least. He was just… struggling to process this whole situation, and it was showing in how he said such a stupid question like that.

He knew what had happened. Better than anyone he could think of. Better than Tucker, if he’d done something like this…

“F-father,” Nina – the Chimera said, stuttering. “Bad.”

She – it – whined. “Hurts…”

“It’s in pain,” Al said, grimly.

“Of course she’s in pain!” Ed snapped, managing to keep his voice to a strangled whisper and not even really noticing how he was talking about the chimera. “Her goddamn father did this to her-”

“I’m mad too, Ed!” Al insisted. “We need to work out how to help her-”

“There’s only one thing that can help her now,” Scar said.

Both Elrics, and the chimera, reacted at the same time as the big man stepped into the dark alley.

“What are you talking about?” Ed asked. “Don’t act like talking in mysterious ways is going to make us think you know what you’re talking about when you clearly don’t!”

“Look at her,” Scar said, firmly. “What do you think is going to happen to her? She’s in constant pain, and she’s going to end up a lab experiment.”

“No,” Nina said, shaking her head, and Ed realized he’d given up being able to think of her as anything but Nina. “Not… pain.”

That was enough of a surprise that all three alchemists looked at her in shock.

“What?” Al asked. “What do you mean, Nina?”

“Head… hurts,” Nina said, sounding like every word was a struggle. “Heart… hurts. Father… bad.”

She shook her head again. “Rest… aches.”

“Aches,” Al repeated. “That’s a thing bodies do, right?”

“How have you forgotten that so quickly?” Ed asked. “Yeah, we ache, when we’re tired or we’ve been working hard or-”

He stopped, and looked back at Nina.

Nina, who’d been on the run for… he didn’t know how long, but probably too long.

“Hard… to… think,” Nina said, slowly and with great effort. “In… words.”

Ed caught sight of Scar’s expression, and it looked like he was trying not to crumple to the ground.

It was a weird thing to see on the tough man’s face. Ed didn’t like it.

He didn’t like a lot of things about tonight.

“...Nina,” Scar said, gentler than Ed thought he could be. “How much does it hurt?”

“Head,” Nina replied, one paw coming up to touch her forehead. “Like… ice… cream.”

Ed swiped at his eyes with the back of his arm, fists clenched hard enough his knuckles were white.

“Heart,” Nina added, then shook her head. “Then… no.”

She wobbled, like she was about to fall over. “All… night… tired.”

Scar turned his gaze from Nina to the Elrics.

“Shou is going to have to die for this,” he said, matter-of-fact. “You’ll have to do it.”

“What?” Ed asked. “What kind of thing to drop on us is that?”

“He’s a major, we can’t just-” Al went on.

“I’ll be busy,” Scar replied, glancing down at Nina. “She can’t stay here. I’m the only one who can handle that.”

“...oh,” Ed said, swallowing.

He was having all kinds of weird revelations tonight, and he didn’t like most of them.

“Bye… brother,” Nina managed, waving, and Ed waved back before trying not to break down in tears.

“...you know, I never got an explanation for where you came from,” Winry admitted, washing some cloths in hot water. “Even compared to how little I know about Scar, you’re a mystery.”

“Good,” Lexi replied firmly. “I’m meant to be a secret.”

“Come on, nothing?” Winry asked. “Some kind of secret Alkahestry thing that survived? Maybe something to do with that religion Scar follows?”

Lexi shook her head, then pawed at one of the cloths. “That one’s still smelly.”

“Huh?” Winry asked, inspecting the cloth, and frowned. “Huh… that might be a bit of a stain… I’ll give it another wash. Better safe than sorry.”

She snorted. “Not that Ed ever listened to that advice.”

“You know Ed?” Lexi asked, perking up.

“Know him?” Winry replied. “I made his Automail!”

Lexi sniffed Winry, tilted her head, then nodded to herself.

“I need to be secret, but you can know,” she said. “I’m Ed’s sister!”

Winry looked back blankly at the part-canine part-human chimera.

“...no, you’re not,” she said. “He doesn’t have a sister.”

Then she dropped the cloths on the floor.

“Except… wait,” she said. “He said she died, but-”

“I’m Lexi now,” the young chimera said. “From Alexander. But somewhere inside I’m still Nina.”

[simcardiac-arrested]

hey crram here’s an evil question! did wade ever learn or figure out what waves was doing to sep?

would she feel guilty, like sep suffered in her stead? relieved like she dodged a bullet? would he be shocked, or entirely unsurprised that his parent was capable of that sort of violence?

hi chees the time has cometh i’m afraid. judgement day the bell tolls etc. So take my hand and let’s both go on this journey of discovery of whether wade knew about sep and what he would have felt (probably really good and normal feelings) (smiles nicefully)

the wade and sep relationship is truly a curious case. but at first, at the very beginning, it wasn’t anything that unusual. sure, wade got to see their very first moments, their activation (when you’re the kin of the creator, it’s kinda expected of you to at least try to attend and to pretend to have the dignity to stand there like you care, tides), was there for their first hello. though it’s not like wade actually had any hand in the project or authority or anything like that, just related through circumstance. needless separation was as much of his iterator as anyone else’s, their city his home. he was still just their citizen, albeit one they knew a little more personally than most.

so that was that. life went on, annoying nerd iterators kept being annoying nerds, the occasional comparison to the clearly better and superior supercomputer was thrown around…well, what else was new, right? not wade’s first rodeo, and it wasn’t like it was needless separation’s fault, exactly, for simply being better.

and then the no way back project fiasco happened, and wade was all too eager to start living there in all but official documents. i mean, picking between the iterator who turned out to be a disappointment and the one that you never stop being reminded turned out to be anything but? rather obvious choice!

but it was still unofficial. so, of course, wade visited often. never lingered for too long as to not suffocate in all the not-so-thinly-veiled comparisons and expectations, but visited. stayed. as much as she could bear to.

…but the comparisons. something started feeling not quite right about them this time around. and, well, it wasn’t like waves ever talked about needless separation in a particularly appealing way. his attitude, his wording towards them always threw wade off a little, though it was always something she just smiled and nodded along with.

she couldn’t really smile now. waves just kept talking about them, and talking, past all the necessary professional details and devolving into something like…bragging, almost. or rambling? hobbies, animals. friends. distractions. what needless separation thought, what needless separation felt. it was both at once talked about so easily, so impersonally and so intimately. like he was personally involved with all of those, somehow. like he knew better.

well, like wade said, it wasn’t like it ever was nice to listen to. it’s always been a little weird. it didn’t have to mean anything.

but then she saw needless separation again. and they were all wrong.

so completely obedient. so careful in every request they fulfilled. so thoroughly apologetic about anything they might’ve done wrong, suddenly so considerate of what anyone might think, so eager to just…appease. and yet so detached. professional. looking to help, sure, but where was the intensity, the passion for it? the snark wade could pretty clearly remember them having? the snobby explanations? where did all the loud and unasked for opinions go? the condescension? since when was The Greatest Iterator Ever so, well, almost scared of making a mistake? of wronging wade of all people, when not so long ago they had trouble even remembering to talk to her respectfully?

since when was needless separation…not annoying?

it wasn’t just weird. it was haunting. it was such a dissonant contrast to what they used to be, what wade knew an iterator could be. someone who laughed, who sang, who took up space and said whatever he thought, who was a friend, who was like her, like all of them. who was a person.

something that needless separation used to be. something that he still should be.

in the end, it’s no wonder that wade chose to get away from all of that. to visit less and less. to move officially to something that felt familiar, something that felt right.

what else were they even supposed to do otherwise? ask? who, the iterator who looked like they’d shut down if you breathed at them a little too heavy? or waves, who could barely look at them, could barely bring himself to hold a conversation about something mundane, let alone something as serious as this?

in the end, wade has always been a coward. scared of facing uncomfortable feelings, of voicing concerns. scared of the possibility—if it could happen to NS, what was keeping it from happening to her brother? but most of all, scared of finding out something she wasn’t supposed to find out. of finding out something she couldn’t forgive.

because waves is still her family. and she remembers him as the good and caring parent he used to be. so, of course, she forgives him again and again. lets him get away with the harsh words and the neglect and the spitting on her feelings, because he’s still her dad. he’s still someone who loved her, once. and maybe, just maybe, if she tries hard enough, if she grins and bears all the worst parts, they can still go back to that. she will forgive.

…but if it’s something like this? well—it’s speculation. there’s no hard evidence. there’s no paper trail, no receipts, no anything. so it doesn’t really mean anything, either. it doesn’t have to. it doesn’t.

yet the dots are right there, staring at her. the strange language, the uncanny behavior, the air of something just being broken and wrong and not supposed to be this way—the picture has long since been painted. all wade has to do is finally face it, focus her gaze and look. really look.

but she’s scared. if she looks, she knows she’ll find a horrifying truth she won’t be able to unlearn. a truth she won’t be able to forgive. something she won’t be able to let him get away with.

because that’s exactly what this is, isn’t it? something she let him get away with, because he would never (he never hurt her, he’d never hurt her—) and because she still had hope. for something better. for something stupid—for something like before.

if she really, really looks, she knows she’ll find something that she could’ve stopped. if she just took a stance, even once.

in the end, wade has always been a coward. someone too scared to face her own feelings. someone too scared to face the person she wants so desperately to believe would never do anything as bad as this. someone too scared to face anybody, anything.

always the first one to look away. to cover up the picture. always the first one to leave.

in a way, wade abandons sep just as much as she does wayback.

sep just doesn’t know it.

[rebelliousstories]

Tidal Wave

Relationship: Nick Burkhardt x Reader (Platonic), Monroe x Reader (Platonic)

Fandom: Grimm

Request: No

Warnings: Brief Strong Language, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 5,743

Main Masterlist: Here

Grimm Masterlist: Here

Part 2: Hearts of Sea Stone

Summary: When a series of suspicious drowning show up in Portland, Nick Burkhardt is called in to investigate a naiad. He quickly finds out there is more to his tale than he knows.

“But they hurt me so,” said the little mermaid.

“Pride must suffer pain,” replied the old lady.”

“Vic’s name was Jason Aquati. Water made it difficult to get his wallet out safely without damaging the contents but we made it happen.” Sergeant Wu passed the wallet over to the two detectives that had just arrived. Nick Burkhardt and Hank Griffin made their way from the car to where the CSU were busy processing the scene.

“Another drowning victim in the Willamette in the last week? Seems like this guy is just getting started.” Hank commented on the scene, dropping himself into a crouch in front of the body. He was utterly puzzled by this string of murders they had gotten.

“Well, lets see who next of kin is, business, the works. There’s gotta be something that connects him to the last one. This is just too specific.” Nick added on, pausing to observe the pale watery body that was left there. Something odd caught his eye. Something in his hand. Grabbing a glove, not bothering to put it on properly, Nick gently moved the hand around till he caught a clear look of what he was hold.

“Can I get a baggie please?” The detective called to no one in particular. His eyes followed the object that was now resting on his glove. Nick felt his partner come to look over his shoulder and hand him the evidence bag.

“What is that?” Griffin questioned, watching his partner drop the small object into the bag and seal it up. Burkhardt stood to match the other man, and their eyes were both trained on the bag.

“I have no clue.” A small stone rested amongst the plastic. To the untrained eye, it looked like a regular stone, but one of these men had the eyes to see the unimaginable. He saw the swirl of blue inside, a pale brilliant blue, that quickly died out. Nick’s eyes went back from the stone, to the man before them, trying desperately to find out how these two were connected.

~

The precinct was as busy and bustling as ever. There was so much excess noise and chatter that threatened to pulled Nick away from his screen; he was almost about to tell the entire building to be quiet just so that he could work. But that would not happen, and he knew that.

“Hey Nick, check this out.” The excess noise was cut out and Hank’s voice came to him sharply. Getting up from his chair, the detective walked over and peered at the screen before him. After being here for so long, the bright screen and small dark letters blurred together.

“Alright. What am I looking at?” His hands rested on the table and back of his partner’s chair, trying desperately to make sense of what was on the screen.

“That stone we found in the guys hand today? Well, I thought since the guy last week also had a similar looking stone in his possession that I would have them tested. Listen to this: it is aquamarine. A type of sea blue to greenish stone.” Hank rattled off happily.

“Okay. So we know what type of stone it is. How does this help us?” A headache was starting to worm its way into Burkhardt’s head, and he could do without the small talk.

“Well, here’s the thing. Inside the stone, there was a foreign substance. Initial results were inconclusive because they were quote, ‘fish scales with human DNA.’ That’s weird right?” Nick was trying to rack his brain for knowledge that would explain the foreign substance in the gemstone.

“Very weird. Listen,” he cleared his throat, “I’m gonna head home. I don’t think I can look at another screen tonight. Goodnight Hank. Go get some sleep.” Nick patted his friend on the shoulder, and collected his coat before leaving.

On the drive home, many thoughts plagued his mind. Was there a type of wesen that preferred to have those kinds of gems? Or a particular type of water wesen that he should be looking for? Dinner and Juliette would have to wait. First, Nick needed to make a detour.

His car pulled into the driveway of Monroe’s humble abode, shutting off the engine and sitting there for a moment. Nick searched his car for a drink and some painkillers but found none. This headache was getting worse. Maybe his friend had some inside? Hopefully he did, otherwise his drive home was going to be a lot worse. The detective did not realize that he was already at the door and knocked before he heard a muffled voice calling out for, “just a moment.”

“Nick, hey buddy. What brings you by at this time of night? Shouldn’t you be home?” The taller blutbad moved out of the way to allow the Grimm into his home, but was confused at Nick’s uncharacteristic quietness.

“You okay, Nick?” Monroe asked, starting to be concerned.

“Do you have any painkillers? I’m sorry. Just got this nasty headache and I don’t have anything.” Nick scrubbed his hand over his face, pinched his eyes shut, and let out the deepest breath he could to try and muster through the pain.

“Yeah. Yeah, I got some. Come here.” Going into the kitchen, the detective smelt and saw the remains of dinner. It reminded him of his girlfriend that was at home right now, waiting up for him so that she could make him a hot plate.

“Thanks Monroe. I’m sorry to impose like this on you.” The wesen waved off the concerns as he was shaking his head, still rummaging through the cabinets for something to ease his friend’s pain.

“Don’t worry about it man. I don’t have anything traditional. Well, no. It is traditional, but it’s not modern medicine. Ah! Here it is.” Monroe pulled a jar from his cupboards, with something in German written on the label. Taking a teaspoon, he put a single spoonful of the contents of the jar in a mug. It was then that Nick noticed the kettle heating up on the stove, and watched as his friend poured scalding water over the mystery powder. Was it even a powder? It looked more like tea.

“Give it just a few minutes to steep and cool down. After that, bottoms up.” Monroe looked pleased with himself, but Nick was just confused.

“What is it?” He questioned, looking between the other man and mug with uncertainty.

“Alles Heilen. It’s a type of ‘cure all.’ My grandmother used to make me that anytime I had any sort of internal ailment. Headaches, flu, stomach aches. She even made me drink it one time to help flush out some poisonous berries I had accidentally eaten. It’s really good stuff.” Nick sniffed the mug, and took a small test sip to test temperature and taste before he took a more proper drink.

“So I’m assuming you didn’t just pop over here for a German style medicine for your headache?” Monroe asked, watching the man before him he appeared to finally have some sort of relief as he rubbed his temples.

“No.” Nick stated plainly. “What kind of wesen are part fish, or really love water?”

“Whoa. Okay. Not what I was expecting. Um, I’m not sure. The only ones that are coming up are naiades but they’re only fish in the sense that I am a wolf. It’s not enough to classify or anything like that. Why do you ask?” Now, he was confused.

“There’s a series of homicides I’m investigating. Both bodies were holding an aquamarine stone that held fish and human DNA inside. It sounds like something weird enough to be wesen.” Nick stared off into a blank spot of the kitchen as he let the tea, if that is what you could call it, take effect.

“Aquamarine and weird DNA? Have you consulted your books?” Leaning against the counter, Monroe watched Burkhardt closely. However, the man just shook his head.

“No, I haven’t. I thought you might point me in the right direction.” They sat in silence for a moment, just letting the day take its toll.

“Hey,” Monroe gained Nick’s attention yet again, “maybe Rosalee knows what you should be looking for. Why don’t you give her a call in the morning?” A nod was given by the Grimm, who finished the contents of his cup, and made to leave the home of the blutbad.

“Yeah. I think I will. Thanks for your help, Monroe.” The gentlemen shook hands, and went to go for the door.

“Anytime, Nick.” Watching from his front door, Monroe could not help but feel like this was just going to get worse for Nick if he could not find out what it was that he was looking for. Nothing can cause insanity quite like searching for something that you do not know where to start.

~

Rosalee flitted around the shop, pulling volumes upon volumes of knowledge from her shelves. Her face looked upset, which did not bode well with Grimm in her shop.

“I’m sorry, Nick. I can’t find anything that would explain what you found in that stone. Do you know what kind of wesen was holding it?” Her face scrunched up in confusion and worry.

“No,” the detective shook his head and threw his hands up in the air, “I don’t even know if the guy was wesen.” He was getting more and more frustrated as time went on. His gut told him that this was a wesen case, but Nick could not find anything to prove it.

“Okay. What were the victims names? Maybe I can find out for you.” A pad of paper and pen appeared in the Fuchsbau’s hands as she prepared to jot down the names.

“First vic was Stacie Wesser. She was a spa owner downtown, and the second was Jason Aquati. He was studying to be a marine biologist at the Oregon Institute of Marine Biologist.” After she wrote down those names, Rosalee took a pause. She let out a shaky breath, and her expressive face revealed pain.

“Are you sure it was them?” Her whisper came.

“Positive ID on both. Did you know them?” Nick was concerned and approached the woman in front of him. A tear managed to escape her eye that she rubbed away fiercely.

“Yeah. I knew them. Stacie came to me for specialty items for her shop, and James for a specific cream to use.” Burkhardt got out his pen and paper to jot some of this down.

“What else could you tell me? Is there any way that these two knew each other?” While he was busy writing the information, Rosalee tried to rack her brain.

“It’s possible that they may have interacted in her spa, but now that I think about it, they both mentioned going to see a show recently. The same one even though they weren’t in here at the same time.” Nick’s head perked up immediately at this information.

“What show was this?” She looked nervous now. Rosalee wrote a name on the piece of paper and tore it off.

“Take Monroe with you. It’s not exactly a place you would be welcome in.” The man nodded and graciously accepted the piece of paper. However, just then, Nick’s phone rang. Pulling it out, he barely had time to check caller ID before answering.

“Yeah, Burkhardt. Okay. Alright. I’m there in ten.” He hung up the phone as quickly as he answered it. Turning back to the woman, he stashed the paper in his pocket and gave her a nod of thanks, before exiting underneath the chiming bell.

~

“Another body. This guys cooling off period is shrinking drastically.” Hank met up with Nick once he arrived on scene.

“What have we got?” He asked his friend, and was brought over to the body.

“Name was Stephen Matthews. Forty-four, never married, no children. Works at the Portland animal facility. This now makes the third body. This guys has gone serial.” Griffin walked near his parter towards the victim, and pulled a baggie from another officers hands.

“Found another stone in his hands. If I had to guess, it’s the same one as the

others.” Everyone was puzzled in this case.

“You know, drowning is not the easiest way to kill someone. Guns, knives, even bare knuckles work better than drowning. So why has he chosen this method?” Nick posed the question that no one answered. The sound of a car approaching, and subsequent opening and closing of the door caught the attention of everyone there. Their captain had just arrived on scene.

“This the same killer?” He asked, hands resting on his hips as he looked at the scene.

“We believe so, Captain.” Nick informed him, walking up and standing close by. A second set of eyes locked onto the bag in the young detective’s hands.

“What’s that?” He questioned, holding out his hands to accept the item.

“It’s a stone. Two similar ones were found on the other two bodies. It’s aquamarine but the forensic report shows human and fish DNA inside it. So we have no clue what we’re looking at.” Sean’s eyes stayed locked intensely on the stone in the bag that was no bigger than a quarter. He could hear Nick talking but his mine traveled back in time. Back to when he was young and had just arrived in Oregon. Back to when he had met her and-

“Captain?” The hand on his shoulder startled Renard out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat and handed the evidence bag back to his detective.

“Good job, Nick. Keep it up. I want this guy found before he can kill anyone else.” And with that, he left. No more words spoken, no more updates needed. Burkhardt turned back to the stone in hand. What was it about this stone?

~

That night, Nick called up Monroe and asked if he would accompany him to the place that Rosalee had written down on the piece of paper in his pocket. The blutbad was more than willing to tag along and made sure to tell Nick about it on the way there. They made sure to park nearby, and on the walk over to the front door, Monroe would not shut up about the place.

“Dude, this is like an amazing club. Well, not really a club as in you know techno and partying. More like a supper club or a lounge. There is just this energy in there. It’s wonderful. Really takes you back in time to a much simpler life.” The nondescript black door with the name on the front would be able to be overlooked by a normal person, unless you knew what you were looking for.

“So this is, what? A speakeasy?” Nick continued to walked forward as Monroe seemed to have a revelation in the middle of the street.

“Yeah. Yeah it is. I never thought of it like that.” The closer they got to the door, the more Nick’s nerves were lighting up. He hoped that whatever he needed to solve this case was in this place.

Getting inside was no issue. Just a check for ID, pay a cover fee, and they were there. The lights of the stage were dark, while the ambient lighting was brighter. A poster caught Nick’s eyes that was plaster on just about every surface in the building.

Hometown Performances by the Portland Princess, Sirena!

The picture of the woman caused him to pause. She was obviously gorgeous, but there was a certain, almost mythical, quality to her appearance. Burkhardt felt someone come up behind him, and a hand laid itself on his shoulder.

“Oh yes! Sirena is in town. She’s amazing. Kind of a legend in our world.” Monroe gushed. Just then, the lights in the room dimmed, and the lights on stage went completely black. Whoops and cheers came from all around, and Nick saw many different kinds of wesen woge throughout the room.

A singular spotlight lit up the stage, and the woman from the poster stood in front of the microphone. Monroe was right; this really felt like a portal to a different time. Old timey microphone, and the woman was decked out in old Hollywood fashion. Listening to her sing, it felt like a trance. She interacted with the crowd and seemed to make up songs on the spot, or at least it seemed improvised.

She worked her way through the front row and had everyone hanging off of her every word. It was unlike anything Nick had seen, even in human clubs. This was totally different. Probably like most thing in the wesen world, this seemed to be steeped in tradition. Unlike, however, the last time he was in a club like this, the woman in stage paid no attention to him, and never realized that there was a Grimm in the audience watching her.

Singing her final note, Nick did not realize that she was signing off and saying goodnight until the spotlight died and the lights returned to how they were before.

“Monroe, what is she?” He asked his friend who seemed to be in a daze from the performance.

“She’s perfect.” Nick shook the blutbad from his thoughts. “Oh, right sorry. She’s a naiad. She might know who to look for.” Monroe was hauled to his feet and dragged through the club towards the back.

“Sorry. Sirena is not doing a meet and greet at the moment.” A tall, brunette man stopped the duo before they got too far into the back. Nick hated to do it, but he whipped out his badge for the man to see.

“I need to speak with her. She might have insight on an investigation.” The man scrutinized the badge he held, but eventually let him pass through with Monroe. A door with “Sirena” plastered across the front was the third door on the left side of the hallway the traveled down. Nick knocked loudly, and waited for a response.

“Just a second.” A soft and sweet voice called out from behind the door. Just a moment later, the door opened a little bit, and the same woman from the stage appeared a little bit more relaxed. As soon as she saw Monroe’s face, though, her weariness faded away.

“Roe! I didn’t know you’d be coming. I hope you have brought Rosalee.” Her voice did not lose any of the dreaminess as it picked up in volume.

“Can we come in? Please?” He asked, looking behind him at the Grimm. she nodded and moved out of the way to allow the pair into the room. Only, she did not realize that it was not Rosalee behind Monroe. Once the men stepped in, it was exactly 3.5 seconds for her entire demeanor to change. She squeaked and pressed herself as close to the door as she could. Monroe pushed Nick to the other side of the room as he tried to calm the woman down.

“You… you brought a Grimm here. You sold me, Monroe! How could you? What did I do?” She wailed and wailed, trying to keep the blutbad just as far away from her as the Grimm was, but he ignored the shoves and hitting.

“No. No, Si. He’s not like that. This is Detective Nick Burkhardt with the Portland Police Department. He’s not like the other one. He just wants to ask some questions. Please. I wouldn’t sell you like that.” Her panicked eyes shifted from the man in front of her to the man behind him, and back again. She finally started getting her breathing under control to where she could talk again.

“Just ask some questions?” It almost sounded like a whimper as she stared Nick down. He kept his hands out of his pockets so as to try and make her realize that he meant her no harm.

“Just some questions. If that’s okay. Monroe can stay the whole time.” Unshed tears collected amongst her lash line while she nodded her agreement. Her hands went to her eyes in pain and she bent over a basin of water in the room. What came out as a tear drop, landed in the water as a fully formed stone. Taking a moment to collect herself, she fixed her eye makeup, dabbed her eyes and turned back to the men.

“My apologizes. I try not to cry on land for that reason.” Her voice was soft and sweet, just as before, but her eyes stayed trained on the Grimm.

“It’s okay. Are those aquamarine?” He was instantly curious at the glittering bowl.

“Yes, they are. How did you know that?” Now, the singer was curious. She had yet to lose the edge that she was trembling on.

“We found three identical stones at three separate homicide scenes. Now, I’m not asking as a cop. What are you?” That Grimm stare scared the young woman. The pitch blackness of his eyes made her tremble and lose her facade for a second. In an instant, a silky sheen encompassed her entire body. Blueish-green scales shone in the lights of the vanity, and gills appeared at the side of her neck. Vibrant, electric blue eyes pierced his, and the almost doe-eyed quality she had taken was interesting to him.

“I’m not a normal naiad. I’m what they refer to as a Tödlicheslied.” Her woge state stayed as she explain.

“Are you serious?” Monroe piped up for the first time in a while. His eyes looked like he was a kid in a candy store.

“You’re- you’re a, a Tödlicheslied? I’ve only heard stories about you. I didn’t think you guys existed anymore.” The blutbad continued to look at the young lady, not as if he was judging her, but in disbelief.

“Tödlicheslied? What does that mean?” Nick asked, allowing his eyes to stray from the woman for a moment to turn to his friend.

“Literally translate to, ‘Deadly Song.’ They were the original sirens. An ancient breed of naiads. You Grimms might be a boogeyman tale to us wesen, but these guys? These are pure legend. They’re believed to be extinct. How are you out of the water?” Monroe explained, finally letting the information process. Burkhardt turned back to the woman and looked confused.

“My people usually don’t leave the water. We’re a rare, ancient breed of wesen like Roe said. Leaving the water for us is painful and can sometimes cause death where we literally suffocate. In our aquatic state, we behave like any other marine life. Oxygen in the water passes over our gills,” she motioned to her own with a webbed hand, “and that’s how we breath. But coming out of the water, we have difficulty turning back to our human form because we completely change our organs and structure.” Well, this was surprising to Nick. Just when he thought that his life could not get any weirder.

“We drink a tonic that helps, but it’s super specific. Only a few people know how to make it.” This was going to make for an interesting new addition to his book.

“Do you have an alibi for the past two nights and for last Friday?” Her body returned to normal, the half woge leaving her and allowing her to appear perfectly normal.

“The past two nights I’ve been here and haven’t been anywhere other than my hotel. Last Friday, I believe I found a late night bookstore to go to after the show. I’m unsure if that place has cameras, but I know my hotel does.” The detective took in her words and allowed himself to look around. There was a picture on the vanity, with a necklace draped atop it. The pictures were in black and white, but he knew that face. There was no way he could forget that face. Standing, Nick went to the vanity and attempted to grab the photo to get a better look when a hand slapped his. Rubbing the now stinging hand, he looked and saw pain and fury in the woman’s eyes.

“Apologies. I just don’t like people touching my stuff.” She did not look the least bit sorry, but that was neither here nor there.

“Would you be willing to come down to the station while we confirm your alibi? Just as a precaution, plus it makes it easier for us to get information.” Nick turned his full body to the young lady before him. She was only dressed in a silk robe, long hair flowing down in waves. However, she nodded.

“Would you allow me to get changed into something presentable? I’d much rather not be out there in just my robe.” Shifting from foot to foot, her hands wrung themselves together in front.

“Of course. Take however long you need.” Nick turned his body away from the young woman and stared at the wall, while he encouraged Monroe to do the same. And by encourage, he means that he slapped the man on the arm and made him turn away from the dressing window in the corner of the room. She disappeared behind the makeshift wall that was set up, and tried to put herself in normal clothing as quickly as possible. There was some rustling, and a couple of knocks as she finagled her way around. However, she was soon on her way out with her shoes in hand.

“You can turn back now. I appreciate you doing that.” It was almost a whisper as she sat down on the stool in front of her vanity to take care of her shoes. The men followed her request and waited patiently for her to be done.

Once the shoes were on, her attention was turned to the jewelry on the table and in the dishes before her. Rings found their place on her delicate fingers. Much less flashy and large than what she wore on stage, but none the less high quality. Nick had a sneaking suspicion that everything she wore was pure silver and built to last. However the one piece of gold that was present on the table, was the necklace draped across the picture frame. There was a pause as her hands faltered to reach for the object, but eventually, she was able to grasp it. Her expression was sullen, as if relieving a specific memory that she wish she could have forgotten. But, that necklace, with a heart shaped locket and several rings found its way to her neck. The one piece of gold clashing against the silver, including a secondary silver necklace that looked identical to the gold one.

“Ready to go.” The wesen took a deep breath and spun around. Grabbing a long, wool coat, she headed for the door and allowed the men to leave first before she locked the door to her dressing room. Leading them out of the building, Ashe stopped only for a moment to chat with her security guards and owner of the venue to let them know where she was going and that she would be back late.

Nick held the backseat door open for her, and offered a hand to help her up into the vehicle. He tucked her coat in to make sure it would not be caught in the door, and made his way to the driver’s door. Checking that everyone was buckled in and secure, he began the journey away from the club.

“Just gonna drop Monroe off first and then we’ll head to the station. Is that okay?” Burkhardt kept an eye on the siren in his back seat. She nodded, yet said nothing. It was silent. Eerily silent the entire drive back to the spice shop. Thankfully, it was not that long of a car ride so Nick was just hoping that maybe he could get some answers at some point tonight. It seemed the spice shop was even closer than he realized, or maybe it was the zoning out and trying to pass the time faster with no noise. But he shook hands with Monroe, and unlocked the car to let him out.

“Stay safe, Si. Okay?” The blutbad tried to comfort the tödlicheslied in the backseat. She smiled genuinely at her friend and nodded.

“I will try. Come out to the show soon with Rosalee please? I’ll get you guys in for free. We can go have dinner.” Her offer made the man smile.

“You got a deal. See ya kids.” And then there were two. Wesen and Grimm just driving down to the police station. Nothing weird about this on a Friday evening. No one made a move to speak, leaving the care in the same eerie silence from before.

“Can I ask about the picture and locket?” Nick broke it. Her startled expression almost made the detective retract his statement, but she relaxed soon after.

“What do you want to know about it?” Her gaze turned out the window, like she could not look at the Grimm while discussing this.

“Who’s the man that is in them?” He was curious about the answer she was going to give him.

“He’s dead.” The red light ahead had excellent timing, allowing for Nick to turn his head around in shock to stare directly at her face. She tried to reign in her emotions, but Nick could see tears threatening to fall. He handed her a set of tissues that were still in the car, and turned back to the now green light.

“How?” His choked whisper came. There was a deep sigh that was released from the backseat.

“For me to tell you this, there’s a lot you need to know first.” A beat of silence.

“Tödlicheslieden don’t come on to the surface ever. Well, almost never. The last time someone lived to tell about us was Christopher Columbus. Although we were swimming with the manatees so who knows what those stories were inspired by.’

‘Our family never allowed the children near the surface alone. They would only take us near there when we needed to eat. Unfortunately, that part of siren lore is true. However, one day I was near the surface and was caught in a rip current. It pulled me so far away, I didn’t know where I was going or even what direction I came from. When I came to, I was washed up on shore along the Willamette trying desperately to breathe.” A small smile appeared on her face as the story continued.

“There was a young man along the shore who found me. He helped me through the change to a human like state. I was so scared,” she chuckled, “but, he just draped his coat over me, and spoke soft and slowly.” Her hands now fiddled with the necklaces.

“Come to find out he was a zauberbiest. Imagine my shock. But he proved to care about me and my well being so I trusted him. He used to take me out, every night, to the river to see if my family was close. After a full lunar cycle though, we stuck to once a month. On the full moon, when the tide is highest and light is brightest. He did everything he could to make sure that I was taken care of. Gave me clothing, showed me a human store to shop in, what tonics to take and when. He was the first person to find out about my tears.” Nick stayed silent throughout the entire story.

“After twelve lunar cycles, I begun to accept my surface life and the possibility that I would never see my family again. And we fell in love. That was a big no-no, even back then. But we didn’t care. It was us against the world it seemed. He made us these necklaces so we would never be apart.” The locket open underneath her delicate touch, and she was lost in a trance.

“But, nothing lasts forever. My family did eventually find me, and they tried to convince me to come back to our pod. But I couldn’t leave my lover behind. When I asked for time on my decision, they came after us as we sat near the water. They dragged me underneath, and made me,” her voice choked, “they made me listen.”

“Listen to what, Sirena?” Nick questioned with profound empathy for the woman who could not have been much older than him.

“Please, Sirena is a stage name. It’s easier to hide in plain sight when no one knows your true name.” She chuckled out, trying desperately to not cry.

“They made me listen as they beat him to death.” Her statement jarred Nick a bit in his seat. They were not too much further from the precinct, but he hoped the story would have something for him to work with.

“I had to listen to his grunts, groans, and cries. It was too silent after. They brought me this as proof,” her hand held up the gold chain with a matching locket on it, “I knew he would have never let them take it off of him had he been alive. It was another twenty-four lunar cycles before I managed to get away for good. I came back to the Willamette, back to Portland. I tried so hard to find an obituary or anything that would tell me where he was buried or something, but I have yet to find anything in almost twenty years.” Nick parked his truck, and jump out to help the lady out of the car. With her hand in his, he stayed at the vehicle for a moment more.

“What was his name?” She was confused, but her eyes appeared haunted. “What’s his name? If I have a name, I can look him up in our database and give you a definitive answer.”

There was a deep sigh, allowing for a lengthy pause. A Grimm and a wesen stood out in the cold Portland air. Her head moved side to side in a negative motion, and her eyes suddenly found the ground much more interesting to look at than the man in front of her. She was trying to reign in her emotions and keep from crying out in the freezing air. After whaat seemed to be an eternity, her misty eyes went to Nick’s as she had her internal struggle.

“His name was Sean. Sean Renard.”

[riteliso]

This is a Catra doodle I did a bit ago to make sure my drawing skills didn't COMPLETELY atrophy.

I think since this space is so alien to me I'm fine being up front with my experiences with this show, actually--

I watched the show because I was genuinely fervently rabid with need for lesbians fighting each-other. Rivalries are my favourite kind of romance, and when it's fictional, I'm a "the meaner the better" kinda gal.

I certainly felt an immediate emotional draw to Catra. My first watch through I was so tunnel-visioned on her and Adora's relationship that-- I wasn't checked OUT persay, but whenever Catra wasn't on screen, I was deep in the "where's poochie?" mud.

I am-- a very critical girl. Absolutely to a fault. So, really, I was watching it to fulfill that girlfight sim meter I had that was DANGEROUSLY low. I usually make it a point not to watch things that "get better later," because in my experience, people often LIE when they say that. I, as a published author, (yes I'm being a dickhead and pulling that card even though it means NOTHING,) am under the belief that the start of your story and the end of your story have to hit the hardest.

In this respect, I find myself very happy I was in such a manic and needy mood when I decided to watch spop. I wouldn't have stuck it through if it weren't for that-- the first season isn't BAD by any means, but it's much closer to AVERAGE compared to the rest of the series.

Princess Prom as an episode irreversibly affected my brain. It was so good and got me so hype that I truly, truly, fell in love with a show all at once that, before that point, I had found "overwhelmingly charming." I have plenty of praises for what the series does pre-princess prom, sure-- but that's mostly the extremely thick use of phrases such as "this is what you left me for," "she's just confused," et cetera.

From that point I was glued to the screen, leaning over my desk, watching intently, with a cloying desperation to see how everything would work out in the end. For those who don't know me-- ever since I sort of discovered my gender identity, my "kayfabe" or "persona" for lack of better wording has been very firmly "cartoonishly angry woman who has a taste for evil." I'm sure that already spells out where I'm going with this--

I related to Catra on a level I have truly never related to-- ANYTHING before. While watching I went from a joking "damn, she just like me fr" to a very serious "why is she so-- uncannily similar to me?" The answer I eventually landed on was just- a beautiful kinda accident. There's certainly some level of nature involved-- I do read Catra as extremely bi-polar, but that's heavily supported by my bias as a bi-polar woman who identifies so deeply with her. But the other thing is, we kinda share a lot of DNA when it comes to our, like- dark backstories.

I'm not gonna BORE you with every gory little DETAIL, but both me and Catra's traumatic histories can be simplified into "at the most vulnerable time in our lives, an older woman who we desperately sought praise, attention, and PROTECTION from tired to take away our personhood and domesticate us in the most literal way possible, not respecting us as an individual, but only as a tool, and at best, a pet."

The trauma and the scars that leaves on your soul are-- uniquely identifiable. I think if you take the core idea of "weird angry girl" and put them through that trauma, as long as you're good at character-directed writing, you will end up with something that looks like Catra and I.

And I'm sure you've all come to the conclusion long before I have that yes, I do kin Catra. I didn't know near enough about kinning after watching the show the first time-- or the SECOND time, where I watched it with my wonderful girlfriend-- but after seeing what felt like "prophetic" fan-art one too many times, I had a dream. As in, literally, I had a dream.

In this dream, I was watching the stream of a friend of mine who does not actually exist. However, this theoretical friend was a huge pngtuber who happened to also be a Snufkin Kinnie who was huge in the kinning community. At one point, in this dream, they mention me, not knowing I'm watching their stream. They say something along the lines of--

"Yeah, I have this friend-- and you know, I never push anyone to identify any way, I never diagnose other people, it's rude and unhelpful-- but she is VERY stuck on Catra. Yeah, from She-ra. And, like, again-- it's not my place, I'm not gonna say anything-- but it's so obvious that it's EMBARRASSING."

Waking up from that dream was frustrating for a number of reasons-- the chief of which being that if I didn't know enough about kinning to make a decision, how the FUCK did my brain know enough to make a LITERAL BRUTAL CALLOUT on TWITCH DOT FUCKING TV? But that's neither here nor there--

I had already kinda admitted to myself I saw her as an inspiration-- she was not only very-- ME, but where my frustration came from was that she was acting more ME than I was, because SHE wasn't afraid of people thinking she was a WEIRD FREAK.

And so-- I talked to some friends who knew more about kinning. One friend in particular said not only could she really see it, but that it had come up in her head before, and then when I told her I was considering it partially from the frustration of Catra acting more like me than I was, said--

"Only a Catra kinnie would find out they kin Catra out of spite."

Which is accurate, but jesus, sister, pump the fuckin breaks, let me get ACCLIMATED FIRST

And in classic Catra fashion the second I accepted what I had to and moved forward I was instantly slapped by every stair on the god damn way down-- Not in a cruel way, but I'll admit I woulda put up more resistance to the idea of kinning Catra if I knew the day I told my girlfriend about it we'd run into the information of her middle and last names being "Applesauce Meowmeow." Semi-canon is canon enough for my girl to make fun of me, and that's what matters.

Anyway-- I know that was all REALLY rambly and nothing-- but I felt like typing it all out. It's been a weird year. There was a piece of fanart in particular that I think sparked the dream I had-- where Catra goes to kiss Adora but then fakes her out and licks her nose. I had done that to my girlfriend just days prior to me seeing that for the first time, while we were WATCHING spop. And I'm sure that plenty of antagonistic bratty lesbians do the same, (or I'm entirely off base and it really is just me and Catra but let me cope here alright,) but it really did feel like something turning to me and going: "This is as you as it gets, girlie. People see Catra and they imagine her acting exactly as you do."

I'll end this post on this pearl of cute info about me and my girl:

I bite her and call her chew-toy

She tolerates that and calls me cat-nip

And we love each-other very much.

[pepsiiwho]

ROMANCE REAL!

I'm a heinous, devious multi-shipper and I always have been and always will be but for now I won't get into sleep's harem. Right now I'm just gonna word vomit about my two biggest Hypnos ships and what im thinking of writing for them with the information we have currently with the new teaser.

If you don't like Zagnos, Arenos or Hypnos getting some well deserved loving (in which case, you can fuck off now) then skip this one. If you'd like to avoid spoilers for my next possible wip (not that this is nearly coherent enough to explain anything I'll write) run away. Now.

Okay. Anyway. Hi true believers.

So, the dynamics of both ships are different to me fundementally but on the outside they look incredibly similar (I have a type). the basics being that Zagreus and Hypnos is more a will they/ won't they childhood friend romance with a twist of like "you stole my whole family and I resent you for that" and "you're the one person in this literal hell hole I can't just fix and it's driving me crazy". Initially Zagreus was like, the one constant nice, polite and understanding person Hypnos had in his corner. Because of like 3 lines of dialogue in the first game (of which I shan't even speak!) I fell out of love with the ship just because of how jarring and heart breaking it was. But I have love for them and have worked in tandem with cano, for once in my life, and can fix it all.

This was a long way to say, Zagnos exs. They dated and it was great. Very puppy love but after a point Hypnos got comfortable enough that he felt discontent with the fact his boyfriend was more beloved in his family then he was. They clash over it, Hypnos gets upset that zagreus gets THREE sets of families, HYP'S INCLUDED, while Hypnos can barely manage one on a good day and Zagreus just does NOT get it. Eventually they break up because they're just too different. Hypnos bows out, in his self-deprecating way, and they're done. Considering the second game, I think this happens shortly before Mel is born/ or conceived. One of the two because news/birth is a whirlwind that takes all of Zag's attention so they have a lot of unfinished business.

Obviously the titans attack only like a year or so after Mel is born and then everything goes to shit and my scene of the escape happens. At this point, Zagreus is still very in love with Hypnos— he never really stopped oops— but their time has run out and it's too late. He goes into the fray. Womp womp. We're caught up.

Arenos, on the other hand, was always an escape from the mess of the house and the family drama happening there. Hypnos the forgotten and unloved son paired up with Ares the forgotten and unloved son. They are very different yet have a shared loneliness no one else really gets? It helps Ares has his weird fixation on the chatonic gods and their entire lineage. So they meet at the post game dinner and Ares is instantly smitten and wants to wisk Hypnos away. This is, surprisingly, the significantly more affectionate and fluffier ship in my mind. He wants to adore his god and obsess over him as Hypnos deserves. Ares is a lover boy to me and Someone who's been deprived of such love his whole life needs someone who's too enthusiastic about his mere existence. Anyway, when the titans attack and Hypnos gets out with Mel, he loses contact with Olympus because they go off the grid and he's too weak to reach ares in his dreams or anything. Until Mel begins communication with her kin up top, Ares assumes Hypnos is dead. He is not normal about it. WOO!

Which brings us to now. The scene I have in mind is post game or like later in the game? In this idea Zagreus has been freed and olympians can come and go from the crossroads without alerting the enemy faction.

The concept for both ships is the same: X goes to crossroads and finds Hypnos sleeping, unwoken for (long period of time here) and unreachable. Im imagining the scene from Snow White. X walks up, ruminates on Hypnos and their past together and then kisses him before crumpling on his sleeping form, overcome with grief.

Naturally, the grief is different. Zagreus for lost love. For another thing lost to him through this conflict but due to his own negligence, not the Titan's whims. He chose to ostracize his love, he chose to ignore him when they were all of 30ft away from each other at any given time. His Hypnos, his sleep, who protected his little sister and (perhaps) helped guide his family to safety/defeat the titans whatever. The fates were as cruel as ever.

Ares, in my mind, would find Hypnos earlier. Before the titans are defeated fully. Seeing his lord sleep, his beloved, his heart and dreams left comatose and out of his reach enrages him. He has a new resolve coming out of the meeting, unable to do anything but wish for the utter decimation of any and all against him and the head of whoever put his love in this position.

The crossroad I'm at though (ha) is If true loves kiss can prevail... I love happy fluff good ends but tragedy is so lovely... Id love to hear other's thoughts as well. Feel free to send asks to continue the convo or reply ... or tags of course... sigh... they're so important. Also more Hypnos ships soon.. first on the block: Apollo and Hermes!

[wild-kindentities]

I just realized I disappeared 3 months ago, came back after a month, then went back into isolation for 2 months…

I might have lost track of time and of myself a bit more than what I thought, fym I forgot I had social medias for 3 months ???

I’ve been feeling so out of place in my body recently, I know that it’s always at the back of my mind but these last few days I literally do not remember I have a body, I usually have more of fox or dragon shifts, but it seems that my…water elemental ? kin has awaken again and is telling me “hey. Hey ! You do not have a body ! No no ! This one is an illusion ! Breathing is an illusion ! You don’t have lungs ! Nor organs ! You are made of water ! Go back to the lake you came from ! Come on, you should embrace your true form once again !” and it’s…not annoying, but disturbing ?

I just yearn to go back to being a floating water spirit, whose waterbody merges with the rest of the lake, whose form keeps changing with the currents, who doesn’t have eyes, ears, organs, or limbs, who doesn’t experience animal feelings and emotions, who is just…water, chilling and peaceful.

This is weird to describe because I don’t believe I’ve ever seen words able to describe what it felt like to be a water elemental/spirit…still don’t know what name to use because after looking those up, none of them feels like me, but anyway.

Basically from the outside I was just a limited (in height) body of water with a consciousness. And describing what it was like is…really hard, and nearly impossible for me now.

Anyway yes, I yearn for that, for my true appearance back !

[homesickwings]

how do you know you’re angelkin, i mean before I didn’t acknowledge kin but I definitely saw myself as something more divine but I didn’t acknowledged because I was scared to be wrong, too cocky or just plain disrespectful then one day I saw someone talking about being a demonkin and looked up realizing angelkin existed too!

Do I just label myself as one now? Could I be your 🐏🕊️anon? Too (*´v｀)

I hope this wasnt sent too long ago, i dunno if my asks are working properly but YES YOU CAN BE MY ANON 🫶🏻 you can skip the parts of this that you think aren't useful to you, I just tend to use too many words when explaining myself 😭 and this is a topic that's very dear to me, especially the part about feeling like your identity's disrespectful.

Anyways - I think I found out in the cliché way, if you can call it that. Feeling like I wasn't human (ever since I was a kid), feeling like I was supposed to fly and getting frustrated that I couldn't. Also getting very mad at myself for being scared of heights, because it simply felt wrong.

How I found out:

I used to identify as a winged therian (i went from a butterfly to a dove and more), because my first shifts mainly consisted of vague phantom wings and a weird feeling that my body was lighter and floating. The thing is, I became aware of my divinity when I almost vividly remembered the gods I served. It felt like they were calling out to me because I was ready to awaken, and I did not reject their signs, because I always knew deep down that I was protected by higher beings - and that, even when I thought I was an animal, it always felt mystical and holy. An immortal owl, a butterfly who could fly a little too high for it to be realistic, a dove meant to spread peace and protect creatures. Do you see what I mean?

-> This is definitely very personal. I also understand that it can be of little help to questioning angels who don't worship any gods; however, as some in the community have said, you ARE a certain creature as long as you can say, for sure, that you identify as it. If you can look at yourself in the mirror and say you're an angel, that's enough. You dont have to rush to discover all the details about your memories, your past or your home.

About not acknowledging a kintype because it feels morally wrong:

Yeah, it took me a while to get rid of that mindset. But personally, for me, the problem was the religious settings in which I grew up in; they weren't strict, but even so, the way I had to approach Christianity wasn't healthy. So even if I strayed from it with little guilt, it made me feel like I wasn't allowed to have beliefs of my own. I felt a connection with gods that nobody around me worshipped, gods that had their own rules, their own followers and servants; I realized no one could tell me that my beliefs were wrong. They were not, because only I knew how they worked, and I wasn't going to give them up. You, too, are allowed to label yourself as an angel according to your beliefs and definitions of an angel. Things have changed; some modern sources view angels as spiritual guides and beings of all kind, not just servants of a god.

And if you're worried about being "cocky"... well. That basically implies that you're worried about how others might perceive you, but you know that your identity isn't about claiming superiority, right? If you know you don't want to appear cocky, it's clear that you don't mean to be. You can't control how people interpret your intentions, but you shouldn't let that keep you from accepting yourself as you are.

Being angelkin can be controversial. But that's because some people are close-minded, and that's not our fault.

[spookypete-94]

By Definition-Part 2

PriceXFem!reader

Bit of a time jump in this one.

Part 1

It had been short of almost 4 years since Kate had found you outside the carnage. On a day you had tried not to think about often, the smell of smoke, blood, and gun powder somehow still managed to stay in your nose. Thrive and live there. Many times, you would dream of it still. Your arms spread wide, protecting the mother and children behind your back. Your body a vessel to it all still, shaken awake from the fear.

Since then, you have seen so much more. Things that should frighten you in foreign lands. Third world countries with ravaged soil and people. Women and children who paid the price to the rich man’s war… but you still thought of the mother and her kin you had saved repeatedly.

Maybe it’s because you had saved them in a place that should never have seen such frightening things… They thought they would always be safe. Shit. You thought you would always be safe even in the job you were in. Sure, maybe a few hot calls here and there, but an act of terrorism? Never once crossed your mind.

The war within your mind happening currently is why you are awake. Feeling like you were burning up in the midnight hour, bed once more drenched from sweat due to your night terror. Slipping out of bed, no longer finding the urge of wanting to lay there for your sleep demon to come back and haunt you more.

Quietly, you left your small room heading to the kitchenette to find water. Something, anything to help keep your mind off dreaming about that day again.

Lost alone your thoughts, spacing out into the glass of water in front of you came the voice from the man that had started your new life for you.

“Wha’ you doin’ awake sergeant?”

A moment passed before you had turned to look at him.

“Could ask you the same Captain.”

It was redundant on both of your parts. This was normal. Both awake and unable to sleep.

“Can’ sleep again?” He asked, his warm blue eyes on you.

A simple slow shake of your head to tell him no and followed him with a heavy sigh. He knew of your repetitive nightmare. Something you had told him long ago. Deep down he felt guilt, even if he knew he wasn’t the cause of it, he still felt at the root of it. The plant of your pain, deep in the dirt, blooming with guilt.

Breaking the silence you finally spoke.

“You know… it’s weird. Before then it was a tornado I could never get away from. No matter how far I drove, how far I ran. Terrified it was going to suck me up inside… but it never reached me. I always woke up before it did.” A long quiver in your words before speaking again. “But I can never wake up from this one. It always must play out for it to stop.”

He crossed his arms leaning against the counter to look at you.

“Tell me how it ends.”

It made your eyes squeeze shut, ragged breath leaving you, almost like a sob but not fully.

“Tell me…” He repeats firmer, approaching you.

“You always shoot me.” You finally admitted.

There it is. The flower is in full bloom and now wilting into itself, something you wish you could do currently. A shell shock to you both. Admitting the part you have never been able to admit to him. The part that always scares you and hurts you the most. If he’d have done it on that fateful day that led you to him, it would have ended for you and never been a second thought in your mind. But the reason it hurts so much now is because the man that has offered you a standing career for your bravery is the man that pulls the trigger in your dreams.

“You know I’d never do that, right?” Pain in his voice evident.

“I know,” the answer truthful, near whisper.

Something that rarely ever happens next. Two strong arms pull you into his chest, pressing the side of your head into him.

Thump, thump.

A familiar reminder of both your existences.

“Would never ever do that to you.”

“Think it's just what I fear the most is all.."

"Come on," he said tugging on your shoulder pulling you to walk beside him, "night cap might help us both."

Pointing to the pair of leather chairs next to a side table and lamp, telling you to take a seat.

He poured you a glass of his strongest amber colored spirit. Something you knew that was going to burn like embers going down.

Quiet amongst you both once more, sipping periodically on your drink. Honestly, it never bothered you. The quiet between you both has always been comforting.

"I've always been grateful for that day," he mumbled making you look up at him. Your no response making him continue, understanding your no reply as wanting him to explain.

"I know it was terrifying for you, but because of that day it gave me my bravest and strongest sergeant... " The words are pure and truthful. "Don't tell Gaz or Soap I said that either." He was trying to lighten the mood making you slightly snort a smile left in the wake.

"I know in a million years you would never hurt me.. but I have no idea how to make that small thought you could to go away. Only ever have it in that nightmare."

Tipping his glass back he emptied, sighing and giving a grunt at the burn down the back of his throat. He turned the empty glass in his fingers looking at it before his raspy voice made your heart melt.

"Might have some ideas."

His face had changed, his blue eyes darkened. The ice you've known twilighted to a dark sapphire. Almost primal in nature, it caused you to understand the hidden meaning of what he was implying. The attraction had always been felt since being fated to meet. Again, something you both knew but played dumb in.

"Yeah? What's that Captain?" Nonchalant, continuing in playing the part.

Leaning back in his chair, a grumble of thunder erupting as he chose not to say what he wanted to do to you and smirked.

"Why don't you come here, and find out?" His hands running down his green 5.11s, enticing and calling to you.

Finishing your drink, hoping to find the courage from it. Making the choice you slid over, kneeling down on his lap your legs straddling across him and into the chair.

"How about we make better memories to help you forget that one?" Ran together, rushed and almost whispered up to you. He was eager, wanting this for awhile now. The urge to make you feel better, give you something other of him to have dreams instead of nightmares.

Leaning down, you ran your thumb across his lip kissing him right after.

You had answer his suggestion... His request and call. Deeping the kiss, his hands anchored to your hips, holding you in place while he took control.

In that moment, you understood that it took understanding both sides to fully enjoy the positive. It took happiness-knowing John, to understand sadness- the terror in those poor children's eyes.

It took fear- your nightmares, to understand love. What you were feeling right now with John. Thankfully, the side of the coin was up now and no longer down. Here's to better memories.

Captain John Price Masterlist

[giorno-plays-piano]

Thorns In His Mouth

Part VI

Pairing: fae!Steve Rogers x reader

Warnings: obsession, dubious consent, minor character death, drugs (neither reader nor Steve are involved), slight eating disorder, mentions of tumor, high tech elves.

Words: 1.3k

Summary: Maybe it was a good idea to chat with a waitress a bit more once she brought you your order. Perhaps she could at least tell you with whom you should speak because you simply couldn’t force yourself to look at others, most of them already high, shouting something loudly or laughing or weeping. You could constantly hear the flapping of someone’s wings, weird whispers and noises, and the sound of boots and hooves that made your hair stand on end.

Part I | Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V

________

You stared at the earrings, dumbfounded. Did he say "we"? Was Steve going to look for that elf together with you?

Apparently, you just voiced your thoughts absent-mindedly because Steve murmured something and took you by the arm, moving to the café you despised with all your being.

It was much quieter inside tonight, though. There were only a few fair folk, and they were all silently eating or drinking something: the noisy company doing drugs and who knows what else yesterday was nowhere to be seen. Thank God.

As you fell on your seat, Steve taking a place on the other side of a minuscule plastic table, a familiar fae with bright pink hair approached you two. She threw a quick glance at you, pursing her lips at the sight of Steve, but then vanished to the kitchen without a word, probably to bring you the same sweet cupcake she had given you yesterday.

Staring at the elf with furiously bleached hair, you stilled, not knowing how to start a conversation with him again. What could you even say? Why did he want to accompany you on your quest? He had nothing to gain from it. Even the earrings you had given him he returned back to you, and you've never had of any fae returning human gifts. Granted, you weren't a big specialist, but it seemed strange, nonetheless.

Why was he so invested in your search?

The question was probably written all over your face because Steve gave a shaky laugh and rubbed his eyes tiredly as if he had a hard time explaining his reasons.

"I'm a former High elf, too," he started, watching confusion forming on your face while he gave you an unhappy smile. "I held a very high position at my court. Probably among the highest, compared to the others' here. Thus, I'm a Watcher. I watch over the exiled fae and elves, help them when I can, control them so they won't do anything stupid, and end somewhere worse than here. I keep in contact with humans, those who know who we are, and see that everyone abides by the rules. I'm the most useful companion to you if you want to find someone."

His words took you aback. This malnourished, anxious elf with his badly bleached hair and unnaturally long limbs was the most powerful of the exiled fair folk? Truly? Could you take his word for it? Oh, he did mention fae couldn't lie, but it was hard to believe he was telling you the truth.

For a second, you felt a little disappointed. You imagined someone like Watcher to be alike a fairy prince from the fairytale, magnificent in his glory, tall and strong, impeccably built, with his hair shining stunningly in the moonlight as he sat a top of his giant war horse. You did not, by any means, expect to find a Watcher to be a man looking like a 90s model addicted to heroine.

"But why do you want to help?" You asked very carefully, masking you disappointment not to offend him. "I imagine I have nothing of value to give you in exchange."

Suddenly, he smiled, albeit sadly.

"You needn't give me anything. I already owe you for what you did for my kin."

Again, a mystery. You were getting tired of his inadequate responses.

Seeing you bewildered, Steve continued, "You wept when Julius died. You regretted him leaving. Nobody else would do it for him, but you did, and now he's where he should be, at peace. If not for you, his journey would be... an arduous one."

His words made you silent, and you immediately forgot all the questions you were going to ask him. He had said something similar yesterday, hadn't he? Something about it being good that you cried at the sight of Julius' body, although you couldn't even imagine what good did it do to the dead elf. Was Steve talking about a reincarnation or something? Or Julius' spirit returning back to his homeland? You had no idea, but at the memory of a dead elf lying breathless on the sofa your anxiety rose again, and you clutched the pearl earrings in your hand until it started to hurt.

"Why wasn't it enough that you cried for him?" You asked out of nowhere, still searching for some proof Steve was tricking you.

He sighed, "I didn't cry."

Didn't he? You couldn't remember, his face but a blur after you had run up the stairs and collapsed outside of an abandoned factory.

No, you couldn't remember him crying.

"He was one of us," Steve muttered, accepting a black CD pack from a waitress who appeared out of nowhere, leaving a plate with you cupcake quietly on the table before she left without a word. "And I will miss him, but neither my folk nor me weep like you do. Unless on a very special occasion, a death of our beloved or a child, perhaps. But you... you humans know a great deal about compassion and sorrow. Your tears weight more than mine."

His words struck you to your core, and for a few seconds, you just sat there in silence, staring at the distressed - or rather just ancient and rugged - black leather of his jacket. No one had ever said anything like that to you. On the contrary, your therapist mentioned many times it's not healthy to be overly sympathetic and sensitive, to the point when someone's troubles made you troubled. You had to learn to keep your head cool, he said, because no one would profit from your worry. If you wanted to help someone, you needed to stay sane and safe first.

And here he was, this strange, somewhat scary and somewhat beautiful elf, telling you Julius got to his safe place because you had cried for him.

"It's strange, how your world works," you murmured, directing your gaze to the very same leather jacket as if you were talking to it.

Steve gave a laugh, shifting in his uncomfortable plastic chair while a fairy waitress stared at him intently behind his back, her hand resting on a bar counter.

"No stranger than yours." He smiled and made a small gesture with his left hand you barely registered, and the waitress abruptly turned away from you two with a blank expression on her face. "Then it's settled. I'll bring you to one more of my folks today, and you'll tell him your story. He's not a drug addict, by the way."

It was a very nice addition, you shrugged and bit into your cupcake that tasted as heavenly as yesterday. Were you going to develop diabetes if you ate it every day? You hoped not, although it was a small price to pay for the life of your mother.

"Actually, I wanted to mention it the last time. Do you know anything about our kind? Anything at all?" The elf asked nonchalantly, tucking a strand of hair behind his perfectly human ear. Seeing you froze, he chuckled, "It's fine. I'm with you. But it'd be better if you knew at least the basics, so I recommend doing some reading and using my advice for now."

"Of- of course," you immediately answered back, stuffing the rest of the cupcake in your mouth and hurriedly wiping your lips. "I'd be very grateful for any advice!"

________

He liked what you said. His face lit up, the corners of his big mouth turning upward. Before you had a chance to say anything else, he's already at the door, leaving a five dollar bill on the counter and motioning you to follow him God knows where. It's still a bit scary, to go after a strange, twisted but still weirdly attractive creature who moved with such grace even with his oddly long limbs and whose hair looked a little otherworldly despite the cheap bleach he used. But you're alone in this unfamiliar world without him, and you didn't think twice before you jumped off your seat, handing the waitress one more five dollar bill and running after Steve.

Part VII

Tags: @heavenly1927 @yazzzmints @devils-blackrose @lost-and-founds @kennafild @toodlesxcuddles @shygardengalaxy @heimtathurs @moonlightazriel @tsujifreya @lilithmoon92 @greenowlfactif @minshookie29 @nina2697

[deanstudies101]

5x04, The End

Critical theory: Hope. Devotion. Inevitability.

Key quotes: Dean, “Don’t ever change.” 

Further reading: "I like past you." (@subcas) vs. "I love past you." (@bloodydeanwinchester)

"Don't ever change." (@castielbabey)

Discussion: 

[When Dean is telling Sam they’re better off apart. Those are John’s words right out of his mouth.] 

Love future Cas. Don’t think it’s real. [Agree.] But we see a new version of him, an extreme version of him. It gives him depth. He may not be far down that axis, now or ever, but that axis exists. Zach definitely had a hand in crafting that, but there has to be some truth in that. How much Zach had a hand in it we’re not sure, but it certainly seems to play into Dean’s fears. That Cas exists to be wrong to Cas. This was a concoction to make Dean say yes, with some truth. Overall, this feels like it’s not completely real, but not completely fake. 

2014 Dean should’ve used 2009 Dean as a human shield is the leading thought. 

Saw the decision Dean makes coming from quite early on, because of course this would make Dean realise he needs to be close to Sam. [And you’ve been saying this for a while actually! Why would they send Sam off, unsupervised?] Bobby’s still would’ve been the best solution. It’s sad, because Dean felt so relieved to be apart from Sam, away from the reminder of (in his eyes) his failure. And now he feels like he has to be a babysitter forever, or the world will literally end. He can’t share this with anyone. He never asks for help, and the only person who even remotely understands is Bobby. It’s sad for him.

[Admittedly this episode is a slight spanner in the works for the “Cas is a homosexual” theory.] However, if this was crafted by Zach, it kinda makes sense actually… If it’s crafted for Dean to hate it… well… 

[I “like” past you.] That’s not an i. [What is it?] It’s an o. [It is an o.] [[They were silent for a long moment here. There were hands over mouths.]] That’s a really weird thing to say in this situation. [I’m gonna say, this is not the last time one of them said they love the other one and it gets cut/edited. The first. But not the last.] 

Jared's acting is jarring. Can’t tell if it’s a choice or bad acting. A lot of actors put their entire pussy into their ‘possessed’ version. Mary’s dad ate. Still think about that one. Probably helps that Azazel had a very distinctive character at that point, and Lucifer doesn’t yet. However… you’re being possessed by Lucifer. It should've been bigger. Lilith gives instant chills. Whatever actress, you instantly knew it was Lilith. Lucifer being the hallucinations is creepy. Lucifer possessing one of the brothers should've been a bigger performance, more impactful, more iconic. 

[Strangely, I don’t mind this performance? I think he did okay. I think it works. Like, in this moment, Lucifer has won. He just killed Dean. And then 2009 Dean shows up. So what? Like he says, killing 2009 Dean would be redundant. He doesn’t need to do any posturing. He doesn’t need to gloat. He just… won. This subtle, subdued version just works for me.]

Lucifer’s whole thing is convincing people. Subtle and seductive. But he should’ve been more charismatic. [But again, why? He doesn’t need to talk Dean into anything. He knows that whatever Dean does, Lucifer still wins. He won!] It would’ve been more fun to see a more charismatic possessed Sam. [I agree. But I do think it works here.] 

Feel bad for Sam. Sam feels like he’s been abandoned by Dean, and he’s very nervous, asking to be taken back. It’s “please let me come home, please don’t leave me.” It’s the flipside of “poor Dean having to babysit his brother”, but of course you feel bad for Sam. He’s always wanted to go off and be normal, and he just can’t. They are trapped in the narrative. 

Cas waiting there is really endearing. He doesn’t have anything else to do. We like him. [And I’m gonna say it. He’s autistic.] He didn’t want to be late. He had something to do in a few hours so he was kinda just waiting for it. Couldn’t do anything else. 

The way Cas looked at him at the end. He looks smitten. 

[I'll end with some words you may be familiar with already, in light of Dean's "Don't ever change."] [spoilers for 15x18]

Cas, "You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean."

[annimator]

SO. THAT NEW EPISODE HUH

(blah blah blah, reaction’s under the cut. Y’know this already)

• THE FUCK IS THAT THUMBNAIL. THIS IS LIKE THE 5TH DC THUMBNAIL TO HAVE TWO GUYS KISSING EACH OTHER IF YA INCLUDE THE TOMJAKE SPINOFF

• OFC THE SCENE WHERE DEREK’S APPLAUDS TREVOR DURING THE CHALLENGE DEMO PLAYS OVER HIM TALKING ABOUT LAST EPISODE’S CHALLENGE

• STOP REMINDING ME THAT ALESSIO’S FUCKING GONE

• WAIT DON’T PLAY THE INTRO, HE’S LITERALLY THE FIRST CONTESTANT WE SEE IN IT

• “Look poker’s very skilled based, but I’m realizing i need to play with more poignancy” Bro idk what the actual fuck you do to play poker, so I can see where he’s probably coming from

• Idk if Lynda sounds like she’s lying or not, but I immediately got blindsided over Ted mentioning his wife AND son. Fucking plot twist right there lmao

• There’s smth pretty sweet about Ted & Lynda bonding about their kids going through puberty lmao

• Uh oh new alliance droppped

• GET HER ASS ANASTASIA. PICK ON HER BITCHASS FOR DECIDING TO ELIMINATE ALESSIO

• “Ted told me Alessio was bringing the boys together. He was a quiet mastermind.” BULLSHIT

• MF HE WAS ONLY HERE TO GET ARTISTIC ENLIGHTENMENT. KEEP MY KIN’S NAME OUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH

• Isabel’s being sillyyyy- WAIT LOGAN’S STARING AT ONE OF ALESSIO’S PAINTINGS WITH A SAD FACE. YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP

• “Got a thing for fine-wine italians?” LMAO NATALIA

• AWWW LOGAN’S DEFENDING ALESSIO

• “Logan’s a sweet kid” Damn right

• WAIT THEY ACTUALLY SAID THE WORD. NATALIA MENTIONED HER BEING TRANS STRAIGHT UP HELL YEA

• Caught in 4K lol

• Oooooo Amelie’s getting suspicions

• Ofc Jade tells Spencer about her idol hint. Hmmmm, she doesn’t mention how she ACTUALLY got it tho…

• What kind of distraction does Jade want Spence to make?

• Benji’s eepy

• “It’s for the game” I KNOW WHERE THIS IS FUCKING GOINGGGGGGG

• NO WAY HE’S TRYING TO FLIRT WITH HIM

• Bro’s rizz is worse than a certain bald cubito I know

• Pretty nice Diencer crumbs tho. I saw someone call them “studyguide” & I think that’s an AMAZING ship name. I’m using that for them from here on out >:D

• YEA SHE GOT THE IDOL!

• Aw her backstory ;-;

• She got picked on for her skin condition, but her moms were still supportive of her :’D

• YEA JADE YOU GO GIRL. FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

• Group yoga :D

• YEA VIBE TRIBE TRIO BONDING. I LOVE THEM

• Love me some Zaivy crumbs. There’s gotta be a cool ship name out there that mixes culinary & performing arts together

• “I have Spencer on my radar. Him and Diego are getting tight” YEA I CAN SEE WHERE YOU’RE COMING FROM IVY >:3

• HANNAH ILY. But yea Diego’s kinda right, y’all better not get cocky

• “Haha, cock” I felt this with my soul. Especially everyone getting weirded by Benji saying this. IT’S THE GIVING HEAD THING FROM EP 1 ALL OVER AGAIN

• “Running into traffic would be safer than having you as a lawyer.” HOLY SHIT SHE FUCKING KILLED YOU DUDE

• BENJI’S A FUCKING DORK. I LOVE HIM

• “I want to win to win this show. So I can quit law, and start a new life. Maybe figure out actual goals for myself.” BRO I’M ROOTING FOR SO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS SHOW WTF. LIKE AT FIRST, I WAS JUST ROOTING FOR TRISTAN & HANNAH BECAUSE I COULD SEE A PART OF MYSELF IN THEM AS A NON-BINARY FILIPINO-CANADIAN, BUT BASICALLY EVERYONE IS SO INTRIGUING IN A WAY. AND THIS INCLUDES ALESSIO

• Why was everyone expecting Alessio getting the boot- WAIT DON’T SAY THAT IN FRONT OF LOGAN HE’S GETTING SAD

• “M’lady.” DEREK HELPING UP TREVOR ONTO THE TRAIN CART???? AND THEN THEY HAVE FUCKING SPARKLES IN THEIR EYES??? I NEED TO BE SEDATED

• Ooo truth or dare challenge involving the contestants’ fears? Does that mean Logan has some internalized homophobia considering the thumbnail?

• Oh damn, Emily looks like she’ll have fun giving out the truths & dares

• Why would Amelie be up in arms about reading- oh wait there’s bad reviews on that paper, that makes sense

• “Marissa! Answer this; rank your team from most valuable to least” Lemme guess, Anastasia’s the most valuable on her list

• ANASTASIA ENCOURAGING HER TO DO SO IS PROVING MY POINT

• Ooooo they peeking :> Tristan’s face look rlly cute :D

• Yeah I can see why her team’s laughing at the insults from her bad reviews

• Marissa opting out of ranking her teammates honestly makes sense when she wants her team to be unified in some kind of way

• Lynda shut the fuck up.

• SEE NATALIA AGREES WITH ME- and ofc Ted’s siding with Lynda after the convo we saw between them

• YEA MORE ANARISSA CRUMBS >:D

• “I believe in english you refer to that as a… meatrider!” LMAOOOOO YEA

• Oh nice they’re besties now!

• wait this reminds me of something…

• TWO STARS? HANNAH DESERVES 5 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

• “Describe the worst dish you ever made” Zaid it can’t be that bad bro, what’s with the shocked face

• “Bro, you’re like… you’re like Gordon Ramsay! Who cares if ya made an undercooked steak once, y’know? C’mon just tell her!” YEA TRISTAN! >:D

• Oh yeah, it can be that bad. Who the fuck cooks KOALA

• DIEGO’S HOLDING ONTO SPENCER

• Also, plz don’t puke again bro

• Oh so it was for money, and he didn’t know he was gonna cook that. AIght makes sense

• “Tell that to PETA” LMAOOOOO

• DIEGO’S STILL HOLDING ONTO SPECNER WHILE THEY’RE LEAVING THE TRAIN CART

• Richard, you only have two strands of hair on your head, it’ll be fineeee

• See? He accepted it- wait nvm

• BRO WE CANNOT TELL IF YA SHAVED YOUR HEAD WITH YOUR HAT ON. RELAX

• Oh noooo, Ivy had to eat a worm. At least Zaid’s there to comfort her

• It’s just a cold bath, why’s Ted scared of that- anddd he’s uhh… is he dead

• LOGAN’S FIREMAN CARRYING HIS BODY LMAO

• Ngl I used to be scared of dogs when I was a toddler I can see where Lynda’s coming from

• WAIT BENJI’S JOTARO COSPLAY LOOKS AWESOME. WHY IS EVERYONE LAUGHING AT HIM OVER THAT

• Aw, Tristan’s there to comfort Benji :D

• I feel like I could solve the math question Jade got. Proud that she got it right! :D

• NAT HAS TO DO PUSHUPS OVER A BUNCH OF FUCKING MOUSE TRAPS?!

• Aw, Isabel’s praying for her :D

• “It’s just one question. How hard can it be.” I can see Apollo’s gift of prophecy hitting her like a dodgeball

• told ya. Then again, I am kinda intrigued about how Isabel converted to catholicism after she mentioned her parents weren’t catholic

• YOU GOT THIS TRISTAN!

• “I’m feeling left out. Ted got an ice bath, and Benji got to show off some dope cosplays! Where’s my moment in the spotlight, ya know?” I LOVE HOW TRISTAN’S ANIMATION LOOKS SO BOUNCY DURING THIS. THEY LOOK SO CONFIDENT & HAPPY

• “Sorry to interrupt!” I JUST WANNA SEE TRISTAN MAN WTF

• Also fun fact, apparently the guy encouraging you to support ONC is actually Connor’s VA! Small world, huh?

• Either way, please go support Disventure Camp, and ONC at large. This whole Toon Boom thing really hit them hard, but any kind of support will help them out!

• Tristan has to punch someone in the face? What’s wrong with that?

• Oh yeah that’s right, Tristan’s here for a good time and thinks being friends with others’ll help them get further in the game. I still like going back to their audition tape from time to time :>

• “Uh… how hard?” “Strong enough to hurt! Weak enough to not cause a lawsuit.” LMAOOOOOO

• Zaid volunteers as tribute

• Makes sense since they were upset about the koala taco thing

• Ivy cheering Tristan to deck Zaid in the face reminds me on this one “YES SONIC! SPLIT IT WIDE OPEN!” comment I saw in a Sonic Frontiers vid. The vid was basically just the song that played when you fought the Knight boss (dope song btw, It’s called “Find Your Flame”)

• OH DAMN, BRO’S IN A FIGHTING STANCE & EVERYTHING- they missed Zaid’s face and punched his chest instead

• Part of me isn’t surprised considering how their fight with Richard went last episode

• “Pretend I’m your worst enemy.” “I ain’t got one of those!” Mood

• I didn’t know why Tristan got upset over Zaid calling them Marilyn Manson, but one google search later, and yeah I can see why Tristan decked him in the face

• Tristan’s so sweet i love them :D They immediately apologized to Zaid after punching him

• TRISTAN BACKSTORY HELL YEA

• “The world keeps spinning regardless if you’re frowning or smiling, so I guess I choose to keep smiling.” PRECH IT TRISTAN ILY. WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME MINDSET

• Wait we don’t hear Isabel’s entire backstory? Just the end of it? damnit >:|

• NAH DIEGO HAS TO FIGHT A CHICKEN- wait was that the fucking minecraft chicken sound effect

• “Go! Diego, go!” that has to be an intentional reference

• AW SPENCER’S NONVERBALLY CHEERING FOR HIM :D

• DAMN HE’S GETTING CLOCKED BY THAT CHICKEN

• Richard stop saying that “it’s just hair” when you’re bitchass was sobbing over losing two fucking strands from your head

• Ngl Anastasia’s design is really growing on me. No wonder Marissa called her pretty :>

• Also her whole “Men only see me for my looks” thing is not helping her beat the lesbian allegations

• Oh shit, why’s Spencer afraid to talk about his previous relationship. WHY’S HE LYING????????

• BRO DIEGO COMFORTING AND TELLING HIM TO HOLD ONTO HIM HAS GOTTA BE A PARALLEL TO DIEGO HOLDING ONTO SPENCER DURING EPISODE 1’S ROLLER COASTER CHALLENGE

• “Your dare is… to kiss a model we brought backstage.” Oh…. OH

• “Helloooo gorgeous- A DUDE! THAT’S A DUDE!” Is this internalized homophobia? (plz picture the “is that a pigeon” meme while ur reading this. I might look kinda rude-)

• “Just picture he’s Alessio!” LMAOOOOOO

• Oh damn he’s enjoying that- BITCH THE FOOTPOP??

• Blue team walking into a Trevek shoulder grasp lmao

• “This kiss was fine I guess…” I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE

• Oh I am DREADING this elimination. EVERYONE IN IT IS LIKEABLE AND/OR INTRIGUING. ESPECIALLY TRISTAN & HANNAH

• “Hannah’s been really helpful with mending bridges. It’s… not an awful idea listening to her.” DAMN RIGHT! >:D

• Yeah Jade’s suspicious about Amelie.

• Oh damn, trios & groups are being set in stone in red team; there’s Diego, Jade, & Spencer, the vibe tribe, and Hannah, Amelie, & Benji by the looks of it

• DIEGO CALLED HIM “SPENCE”. THEY’RE ON A NICKNAME BASIS

• SHOULDER GRASP. WE GOT ANOTHER STUDYGUIDE SHOULDER GRASP

• Oh shit we got some TENSION

• Hannah listening in on Tristan wanting to vote out Amelie. Call that tristannah crumbs (I’m getting delusional atp)

• SPENCER OR AMELIE MIGHT GET OUT?! WTF I LIKE BOTH OF THEM

• At least it’s not Benji ig. HE SURVIVES TO LIVE ANOTHER DAY! WHO CHEERED

• “Why was I not consulted by Spencer? Am I that lame?” Bro did you forget what happened during the challenge. he was LAUGHING at your cosplays

• Aw, Hannah’s upset ;-; but her putting her head in her hands reminds me of that shinji chair meme lmao

• HANNAH TALKED TO TRISTAN OFF-SCREEN LET’S GOOOOO

• Oh shit, the votes are in vibe tribe’s hands

• Trevek’s rubbing off of each other. I LOVE IT

• Tristan pondering their vote by tapping the pen on their head honestly feels in character

• Oh god, I think I know where this is going…

• BENJI GOT DISTRACTED BY A FLY AGAIN LMAO

• …

• I mean… they probably want to continue the studyguide plotline, and Amelie did paint a target on her back by being a dick. So… yeah, I’m not that surprised over her elimination

• this is an actually heartfelt goodbye- WAIT TREVEK’S JUST LOOKING AT HER WITH BLANK ASS EXPRESSIONS LMAO

• “Thank you all… for being good teammates. I know I was harsh with some of you, but… that was only because I wanted us to win. Hope it’s not personal.” ONC’S FUCKING ME UP TWO ELIMINATIONS IN A ROW. I DIDN’T ASK FOR SEVERE EMOTIONAL PAIN

• AW HANNAH WENT IN TO HUG HER

• Oh shit, she left with a sad look on her face. That honestly hits different when ya remember that Alessio left with a smile

• So yeah, all in all, pretty great episode! Shipping crumbs were great as always (especially for studyguide :>), it’s nice to see Logan… well… y’know, and NOW I’M SAD OVER TWO ELIMINATIONS-

[oscconfessions]

A while ago I started putting a soft g-sound on any word that began with a "ck" noise. Changing word pronunciations like "clock" into "glock" and "clown" into "glown". I try to be subtle about it so it often sounds in-between the two consonants, a little hard to tell unless you're listening for it. Anyway, I never really knew where I got it from, just did it cause it felt and sounded nice (also it was really funny). I assumed some character was originally doing it but couldn't quite remember who.

It remained a mystery until I watched a BFB clip and heard that darn cloud speak. I instantly knew. It was him. I've been mimicking part of an accent from none other than Cloudy. I've never really liked or disliked him, yet I habitually incorporate his way of talking into my own speech. I'm not sure how to feel about this. It is weird to speak like a cartoon cloud? Do I kin Cloudy now?? Should I stop doing the speech quirk??? I don't really know.

One of the... Upsides? Downsides? That's resulted from this is that one of the words I use as a response has become really really funny. Y'know how some people drop the "o" and just say 'kay? So...

"Hey, can you grab me a pencil?"

"gay"

"It's raining outside by the way."

"gay"

"How are you feeling?"

"o'gay"

Honestly I want to keep doing it just for this alone. It's really really really funny. Even if I've turned into Cloudy-IRL, I can now say gay in confirmation to things.

.

[marzcody]

Rating terms for myself!!

Alterhuman: 8/10. Use this most often but there's something about it that just doesn't really hit right hence the -2 points

Therian: 6/10. I would only really describe one of my kintypes as a theriotype but it was the first term I was introduced to so it gets boosted up a point

Otherkin: 3/10. Never really sat right for me for some reason. Just don't like to use it on myself.

Non-human: ?/10. Idk. I've seen this term a lot but never really felt one way or the other about calling myself it

Human: 1/10. I mean...its true..kinda? I'm physically human sure. I guess. makes me feel icky

Creature: 10/10. Whimsical and fun encapsulates all of my kintypes in one word. yes of course I am a creature that stalks the woods how did you know??!!

Thing: 4/10. when used in a non-derogatory sense its fun!! like yeah I'm a thing! gives me similar feeling as creature. however when people call me a "thing" they usually dont mean it nicely and I can tell and it feels gross.

Being: 9/10. doesn't scratch the same itch that creature does but its very close!! I use this word to describe my divine side a lot

Person: 10/10. Not calling me a human but acknowledging that I have feelings and emotion and thoughts too. for lack of a better word it humanizing (especially cus ever since I joined this community people have treated me like a don't have feelings lol)

Label-kin: 7/10. Examples: wolfkin, catkin, divinekin. I use these a lot simply because I don't know any other word and its easier to get the idea across to people when I use them but something feel weird about it

Specific labels 7/10. I love labels when it comes to finding creatures like me and connecting to them!! And of course I wouldn't use a label I don't like. However, there's a certain box that I feel like a label puts me in. Theres so much nuance to me that no label can fully say what I feel and think. sometimes theres not even words to describe it. so when using a label there's always some doubt in my head that I cant use it due to x reason or that the label doesn't fit right.