#utlhs

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I’m absolutely losing my mind over how beautifully @madbalalaika brought Florence and Beckett to life in this piece. The tension, their expressions, the sheer chaotic energy — it’s everything I dreamed of and more.

This incredible art piece is based on a moment in Chapter 8 of Until the Legs Have Swung (aka my magnum opus, my pride and joy). If you love angst, questionable morals and a dash of sexual tension, you’re in for a ride.

@madbalalaika, you’re a genius. Thank you for making this masterpiece <3

[izufraction]

RM198 PM+601125770897 https://www.instagram.com/p/CiFHXT-utlH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[daily-klingon]

wotmey wej

mach be small v magh betray v maq proclaim v maS prefer v matlh be loyal v matlhHa' be disloyal v maw offend v maw' be crazy v may be fair v ma' accommodate v mech trade v mej leave, depart v meq reason v meQ burn v mer surprise v meS encrypt (slang) v meS knot v meSHa' decrypt (slang) v mev stop, cease v mIgh be evil v mIl be formerly honored (loss of honor is implied; an adjective to describe one who has fallen from grace; not applicable to 'utlh, which implies a voluntary, honorable retirement) v mIm delay v mIn yuq perform magic (referring to a stage magician) v mIp be rich v mIQ deep-fry v mIS be confused, mixed up v mISmoH confuse v mItlh forge (metal) v mIy brag v mI' dance, run in place, do calisthenics v mob be alone v moD hurry v mogh be frustrated v moH be ugly v moj become v mol bury v mon smile, grin, sneer v moq beat (something with an implement) v morgh protest v moS compromise v mot be stunned, be knocked out (in the sense of "rendered unconscious or into a dazed state as a result of being hit (by a fist or a projectile, etc.)". Like being hit by a "phaser set to stun") v motlh be usual, normal / standard v motlhbe' be unusual (abnormal, non-standard) v mub be legal v much perform (music) v much present v mugh translate v muH execute, put to death v muj be wrong v mul be stubborn v mum taste, sense flavours v mun intervene v mup impact, strike v muq have a volume of v muS hate, detest v mut be selfish v mutlh construct, assemble, manufacture, construct, put together v muv join v muvmoH recruit v nab plan v naD praise, commend, approve v naDHa' discommend, disapprove v naH be hostile, malicious, unfriendly, antagonistic v naj dream v nan gouge v nap be simple v naQ be full, whole, entire, complete v nargh appear v nargh escape v naS be vicious v natlh drain v natlh use up, consume, expend v naw' access v nay marry (wife does this) v na' be salty, be brackish v nech be lateral, move laterally v neH want v nej look for, seek, search for v nen be mature, be grownup, be an adult v nenchoH mature, grow up v nep lie, fib v nIb be identical v nID attempt, try v nIH steal v nIj leak v nIl be grassy v nIq weave, knit v nIS disrupt, hinder, interfere, interfere with v nIt be plain, be pure, be uncorrupted, be unsullied v nIv be superior v nI' be long, lengthy (duration) v nob give v nobHa' give back, return v noD retaliate v nogh writhe v noH judge, estimate v noj lend v non be rotten v nong be passionate v nop omit v noS eat in small mouthfuls, nibble v notlh be obsolete v nov be foreign, alien v noy be famous, well known v nub be suspect v nuD examine v nughI' twist knuckle into someone's forehead v num promote v nung precede v nup decrease v nuQ annoy, bother v nuS ridicule v ngab disappear, vanish v ngach debate v ngaD be stable, be steady, be balanced v ngaDmoH stabilise v ngagh mate with v ngaH squeeze (an object) v ngaj be short (in duration) v ngal be chewy v ngaQ be locked, be secured, be sealed, be fastened v ngaQHa'moH sign in, log in v ngaQmoH sign out, log out v ngaS contain (have inside) v nga'chuq sex (i.e., perform sex; "always subject" probably refers to the concept that all involved parties collectively make the subject of this verb.) v ngeb be counterfeit, false, fake v ngeD be easy v ngeH send v ngej infect v ngel attract, lure v ngep override v ngeQ bump into, run into, collide with v ngev sell v nge' take away v ngIj be rowdy, unruly v ngIl dare v ngIm be putrid v ngIng be negatively charged, have a negative charge v ngIp borrow v ngIv patrol v ngI' have a weight of, weigh v ngI' be pressurized v ngoH paint using fingers, smear v ngoj be restless v ngol move bat'leth from horizontal to vertical orientation v ngom be geeky (This describes someone who is "into" a subject and knows a lot about it, but does not necessarily participate in associated activities the way a qatru' does. It could be a less intense version of ven.) v ngon bubble (The verb ngon describes what water does when it's boiling: It's bubbling. Also, if you blow with a straw into a glass of water, then it's also bubbling. The person does not ngon, they ngonmoH the water.) v ngong experiment v ngor cheat v ngoS dissolve v ngotlh be fanatical v ngoy' be responsible v ngo' be old (not new) v ngun perch (if bird lands on land, use Saq, on water, use tlhot) v nguq be arrogant, haughty, conceited (an undesirable trait) v nguv be dyed, be stained, be tinted v nguvmoH dye, stain, tint v ngu' identify v pab follow (rules) v paj resign v pan spark, emit sparks v pang pluck (a stringed instrument) v paQ meditate, cogitate, reflect v par dislike v pargh be synthetic, artificial v parHa' like v paS be late v patlh be ranked, have a status, be graded v patlhmoH rank, assign status, compare, sort v pav be urgent v paw arrive v paw' butt heads (slang) v paw' collide v pay regret v peD snow, fall slowly (like snow) v pegh be secret v pegh keep something secret v pej demolish v pep raise v peq slaughter (connotes intention, targeting specific victims) v per label, ascertain, specify, designate v peS supply, furnish, provide, dispense v pet be welded (together) v pe' cut v pe''egh keep score v pIch blame v pID coat (food) with herbed mixture) v pIH be suspicious v pIH expect v pIjHa' infrequently, seldom adv pIl be inspired, be motivated, be stimulated v pIlmoH inspire, stimulate, motivate v pIm be different v pIQ be direct v pIQHa' be indirect, roundabout, devious v pIv be healthy v pI' be bold v pI' be fat v poch plant v poD be clipped v poDmoH clip v poH time v poj analyze v pol keep, save v polHa' discard v pon persuade, convince v pong name, call v poQ demand, require v poS be open, opened v poSmoH open v potlh be important v pov be excellent v po' be expert, skilled v pub boil v puj be weak v pujmoH weaken v pul be ground up v pum accuse v pum fall v pup be high resolution v pup be perfect, exact v pup kick v puQ be fed up v pur inhale v puS be few, be several, a handful v puS sight (with gunsight) v puv fly v puy wreck v

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lmao yes definitely

When I say I like reading romance, I want you to know that this is the kinda shit I'm reading.

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me, 2023: i think i wanna write again. just a fun little fic. spy falls for villain. simple. cute.

me, 2025, 100k words deep, two missing scene one-shots, and a few tears later: what if there was an alternate ending where he survives specifically so he can get his back blown out by that woman

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she’s definitely pegged him.

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Something in Beckett’s expression tightened. “Love, you say? How quaint. And yet, I find it to be one of the most easily explained phenomena in life. What is love if not self-interest wrapped in sentimentality?”

The words of a disillusioned man, if she ever heard any. It was hard to believe he had ever experienced anything close to joy, let alone affection. It was likely he hadn’t, and frankly, that explained a lot.

“Oh, but there is more to it,” Bee countered. “It’s something we cannot fully control. It doesn’t care about our station in life, or how much money we have. It makes us do strange things. Things that seem irrational in hindsight, perhaps even reckless.” […]

“If that were true, it would make us little better than animals. But you’ll find, Miss Nightingale, that human beings are perfectly capable of controlling their impulses – if they choose to do so.”

fic-writing mutuals, reblog with a quote from one of your fics that you think perfectly describes your characterization of your fave I’ll go first:

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can’t fix him but i like the damage

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one could think i wrote "Guess" with will wood's "your body, my temple" on loop bc if this song isn't flo/cutler-coded idk what is.

no one asked for this but here's me analysing the second half of the song (doing it for the whole song would take forever, i’m not up for that and i already feel guilty for not working on my wip instead) and comparing it to Guess and flo's and cutler's relationship in general because the uncanny parallels have been haunting me ever since i've listened to @rattenmann’s playlist for the first time.

CW: sexual themes, religious imagery, power imbalance

first off, the song is about devotion wrapped in obsession. about power and submission. and throughout, there’s this intense religious imagery — something that fits eerily well with the undercurrents of their dynamic.

the title alone and its repetition throughout the song play into beckett’s mindset. it’s not just a temple. it’s *my* temple. this subtle possessiveness is so utlhs!beckett-coded, because he would never outright admit to wanting to own flo, but he does. he worships her, yes, but it’s not pure, but a worship laced with control, with wanting to have a claim on her. he wants to believe he is the one in control. he believes he holds the reins, but that belief is what blinds him.

"I'll be your blessing in disguise, whip the mask off my good side"

cutler beckett is a man who wears masks. his entire public persona is calculated and refined: the impeccable wardrobe, the measured words, the air of authority. he exists within layers, constructing a version of himself the world is meant to see.

but florence gets glimpses of him, whether he likes it or not. she recognises the man beneath the polished exterior, the one who hides his affections even from himself. and beckett, despite his best efforts, wants her to see. he wants her to understand his devotion, even as he refuses to express it plainly.

"I'm all stripped down naked for you / But still asking you to loosen up my buttons baby"

that's it. that's the fic. literally. the entire scene is an excercise in stripping him down (flo quite literally undoes his buttons), but more importantly, metaphorically. it’s a slow unmaking of the man he presents to the world. florence is peeling him down to something raw and vulnerable. he's enduring a slow, deliberate deconstruction of his appearance, the symbol of his status and control.

what's more is that he's initiated the whole thing by - well - asking her for it by bringing up the dagger, which, considering everything, is almost an invitation. he wants to be undone, but he also wants to believe it's still his choice.

"You've got my whole world in your hands, got this little blue spot / And you really ain't got no idea how much of this orbits you, now do ya, honey?"

this is beckett's entire dilemma with florence. he's convinced himself he's the one controlling the situation, but in reality, he's orbiting her. everything he does around her is shaped by her presence. she’s under his skin, in his thoughts, in his desires. and she doesn’t even fully realise the extent to which he revolves around her.

"Please relieve me of my dreaming / I'm kneeling, begging, pleading / For my savory-sweet release of death"

not only do these lyrics convey a deep longing and desperation, but what comes to mind (probably not intended, so that's just me) is “la petite mort,” the french phrase for orgasm (literally: the small death, also referenced in hozier’s angel of small death and the codeine scene which is another song i’m absolutely normal about). and florence holds him in that precarious space between power and surrender. he hates how much he wants this, hates how much she affects him, but it doesn’t stop him from following her orders, sinking to his knees and ultimately pleading for his release.

"Oh, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die, I wanna die / So I can taste your name on my final breath"

this repetition underscores the speaker's willingness to sacrifice everything for a moment of connection - or in this case, beckett's willingness to sacrifice his pride for (pardon my french) getting fucked nasty. it mirrors the explicit loss of control, and the visceral descriptions of beckett’s physical and emotional unravelling make his submission feel like a kind of metaphorical death. the death of his persona, his pride, his carefully cultivated self-control. in a broader sense, it could also reflect his subconscious willingness to overlook the warning signs about florence’s true nature. he sees the signs, but ignores them, because… what? because he’s that desperate to hold onto her.

“Am I supposed to call this flagellation?”

also feels relevant for beckett’s state of mind — part of him fights against the idea of his submission, yet the humiliation and power imbalance seem to fuel his desire rather than diminish it. and again, it is kind of self-inflicted.

“Trade confessions for questions / Just us second-guessing, I guess”

this speaks to a dynamic where clarity is elusive, where instead of honest revelations, the characters remain locked in a cycle of questioning each other’s motives. flo's and cutler's entire relationship is built on veiled intentions and unanswered questions. neither of them communicates plainly. neither truly knows the other’s motives. florence, in particular, is deliberately vague, keeping beckett off balance, ensuring he never fully knows where he stands. and in Guess, this line is so fitting for beckett’s own internal struggle, him questioning why he’s going along with this, second-guessing his own actions even as he continues forward.

“Now am I missing the message? / Its essence goes over my head like a halo / Like a halo, like a halo!”

he is missing the message. something profound is happening, but he can’t quite grasp it. much like how he fails to fully see florence’s role in everything that’s been happening; the attacks, the chaos, the way his carefully ordered world has been unravelling since she’s walked back into his life.

admitting to himself that something is off would mean facing an uncomfortable truth. so, instead, he overlooks it. suppresses it. lets it pass right over his head. there’s a meta post i wrote some time ago that briefly touches on that.

“The wine in my veins fermenting my brain”

beckett’s feelings towards florence cloud his judgment, and dull his rational mind. fermenting my brain even suggests that they’re growing stronger over time, becoming irreversible even.

“My body, my bread, it’s all gon’ rise again”

this could be taken very literally in the context of the fic. other than that, it suggests a deeply physical, almost sacrificial act of offering oneself. the resurrection is both literal (his body reacting to her control) and figurative (his identity shifting under her influence).

“So be my golden calf like a fresh cut of veal / After all, we’re both dead meat”

the golden calf is a biblical symbol of false idols — something people worship despite knowing they shouldn’t, and in a way, she is his. because let’s be real, he should know better. the warning signs are there, but he chooses to ignore them.

the phrase “we’re both dead meat” suggests an inevitable downfall. which happens — not in Guess of course, but utlhs. they are consuming each other, playing a game that ends badly.

“My forbidden honeydew, honey, do you need a hot meal? / Just save me half, yeah, I could eat”

this again ties into the theme of consumption and hunger. i love the forbidden honeydew metaphor because a part of beckett knows he shouldn’t indulge in this - in her - but he does anyway. he always does.

so in conclusion, did i have this song on loop while writing guess? no. but i damn well could have. so (for probably the 100th time) thank you @rattenmann for introducing it to me <3

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the duality of man

Beckett, publicly: Love is nothing but self-interest wrapped in sentimentality. We are perfectly capable of controlling our impulses.

Beckett, privately: *clutches sleeping ex-almost fiancée like a child clutching their blankie* Ok but if she leaves I’m going to be so unwell.

(1st excerpt taken from the unpublished ch. 9 of a sailor and a nightingale, 2nd from nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day)

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so, i was listening to some music and a song started playing and throughout the song i kept on thinking, "this reminds me of dance-in-the-morning-glow's fanfics with beckett" and so then i decided to make a playlist. i'm not fully certain about some of the songs on it, but for the most part i think it encompasses how you write beckett

most of the music is more beckett/florence but from becketts pov

anywho, i hope you like it!

(also, there isn’t a consecutive genre and most of it is will wood)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/ OXausmdgkRHiR4vrd2KCuc?si=8j9YExyhR9CDIOwwOwKtYQ&pi=a_D-nM5PQRKYH

omg?? 🥹🥹 i genuinely don’t know what to say, that’s so cool, thank you!!

unfortunately, the link doesn’t seem to work for me (tumblr has done this to me before, i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s being difficult again), but if you could send it again or just the playlist’s name, i’d love to listen!

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men will literally build an empire, convince themselves they are above sentiment, and frame their biggest heartbreak as a mere miscalculation rather than go to therapy.

and then proceed to spiral when the reason for their heartbreak falls asleep on them years later.

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new year, same me. still obsessing over these two. they’re terrible for each other, and yet i’m over here rooting for them </3

Until the Legs Have Swung (103k words, most of them angsty) — an ode to toxic dynamics, questionable choices, and my inability to write anything resembling emotional stability

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random piece of utlhs lore:

years before i started writing utlhs, my friend j and i worked on a beckett x omc fic set pre-canon. the love interest’s name was supposed to be isaac falmouth and he was also somehow tied to the company. i don’t remember much else, since we never moved beyond the plotting stage.

fast forward to utlhs — i decided to recycle the name for a pirate character because i hate coming up with names lol. later, archie ended up (accidentally) filling the void falmouth left behind.

accidentally because archie was originally never supposed to be the relatively young, cringefail georgian era-hipster i wrote him as. i first pictured him as an old man, possibly a governor of another caribbean island who just so happened to be there for dinner after negotiations or whatever (bc i just needed someone to fill that role and justify the dinner scene and the follow-up in the study).

but j said, “no, we should make him hot and flirty” and thus, after a lot of very unserious plotting,

(j: he kicks down the door and french kisses flo

me: yes exactly

me: everybody

j: hot

j: bisexual king)

archibald spalding as we know him was born and ended up becoming a much larger deal than i intended and brought so much jealous ex-energy to the table that i decided he was just that.

i also think the unserious plotting shines through in the way archie behaves in general, but i digress.

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the thing is, if i’d known how big of a project UTLHS would become when i started writing it, i would have come up with a plausible reason for beckett’s abscence/survival during the showdown in AWE. kinda embarrassing how i just went, “well, the endeavour just disappeared or left or something, idk whatever”

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Here are some incorrect UTLHS quotes/memes because this author is still plagued by her own characters