#venting i guess

[loserboysandlithium]

Rant ahead: tw rape, tw pedophilia

Idk if this post will upset people but at this point I really couldn’t care less. There is a difference in a daddy/mommy kink and minor coded shit. I’m not kink shaming anyone. I happen to love a good daddy/mommy kink. But I can’t stand seeing something that sounds like a grown adult is having sexual relations with a child. That’s molestation. That’s rape. That’s not okay in any fandom or in any case at all ever. I’ve read some things lately that have made me feel physically ill and I’m not pointing fingers or telling anyone else what to do but some things just shouldn’t exist, whether it’s in fiction or in real life and that’s one of those things. If you choose to write things like this please do not tag me and please please put a warning. And if you reblog the fic, please put the same warnings.

[tiredclemont]

Something I realized yesterday is during periods of depression (i.e. right now) my jealousy will sky rocket. Mostly because I feel like I'm losing control and that if I'm not constantly entertaining to my friends they'd leave for someone else. So in an attempt to balance my habitual clinginess I'll isolate myself and then that makes it WORSE because then I'm not talking to ANYONE and that makes it seem like my fears have been validated.

But then I realized what I was doing and reached out to several people. And whaddya know, they're still my friends even if I'm not a constant source of entertainment.

I think my point is that jealousy is a real human emotion born from insecurities, and that's okay. It's what you do with those emotions that matter. It's also completely fine for your friends to have other friends because that's just how humans work, it doesn't mean that you're not also worth the time.

[silvershewolf247]

There's someone on ChuckyTwt claiming to be defending Chucky Tumblr and being fucking disgusting to literal children.

[dat2ndaccount97]

Randomly start thinking about how I wanted to See The Hobbit (the first one) and my dad said no because he heard it was boring. Then less than a year later I got forced to see Gravity because my dad wanted to see it, even though I said no and I hated that movie. My mom specifically was guilt tripping me and said " Dad goes with you to see movies he doesn't wanna see." Idk why this suddenly came to mind.

[stardust948]

Beach vacation cut short because I caught a cold 😷

[lestatslestits]

Sorry, just. Need to put this somewhere.

I’m having the strongest and most consistent self-harm impulses that I’ve had in…probably years? And like. My therapist is aware, it’s. Fine? I do think some of it is sensory seeking behavior so I’ve been. Like. I know pinching and picking/hair pulling aren’t ideal but that’s been my way of managing it without resorting to other methods. But it’s not ALL sensory seeking, some of it is stress and depression and a strong desire to….I don’t know. Not punish myself exactly, but. That’s the closest word I’m getting at right now. I don’t know. I’m okay. It’s just. Constant right now. And I kind of need it to be. Less.

[blatantlyhidden]

pro tip: telling a traumatized child that they're "difficult" is a great idea and surely won't have any long term consequences!

[sauntervaguelydown]

The way some people are talking about the immolation with relish as if it doesn’t make them want to throw up and cry genuinely makes the whole thing worse for me. Stop doing a play by play stop slowing it down this is bad enough

[herinke9]

Made my dad upset bc I was upset at him because I was anxious about driving, but I also haven't been sleeping well amd I'm on the verge of crying these past few days and my chest hurts.

[thrawns-babygirl]

Y'all ever just feel sad and then sob violently for a solid 20 minutes and it's like you're a new person?

Coz same.

My ass just experienced emotional catharsis on a molecular level.

[chloefraazers]

having. a bit of a. idk.

had one of those ‘what are you doing with your life’ conversations with the fam while on holiday and after saying that i have a concept for a novel i’m excited to write, i was asked why because i ‘never finish anything’ (sadly kinda true) and i’ve been rejected from multiple creative writing programs (also very true).

right now i’m really feeling like i contribute nothing of value personally or creatively, both in original fiction and in fandom.

so… why bother with it anymore?

maybe it’s time to set creativity aside. if multiple professionals say i’m not good enough to even learn how to improve it must be true. maybe it’s time to let go of writing and the dream of publishing.

on top of that, having major imposter syndrome in fandom. every single day my brain tells me i don’t belong, people are just being nice even though i’m not liked/wanted, that my presence is a burden and not a benefit. that i wreck things. that leaving would free y’all from being suffocated by me. that i have done nothing and contributed nothing of value, only added to stress and negativity.

so maybe it’s time to just. purge ao3 and everything on it. archive/close this blog and twitter and ig and discord and all socmed. delete all the in-progress fics and original novel plots and details.

maybe it’s time to just. be done with silly little dreams.

[try-and-try-and-try-again]

I have been feeling so tired and horrible all week. And I just woke up from a nightmare which was kind of bizarre and silly thinking about it’s contents but it was enough to make me wake up with my heart pounding and feeling sick and now I’m too on edge to go back to sleep (1:19am).

This is not what I need when I have to get up early for volunteering. I already left early on Monday’s session because I was in too much pain.

[cloudydays69]

Does anyone know how to deal with an intense, heavy surge of fucking jealousy

[kessabit]

I was was guilted into visiting my parents today, and towards the end of my visit, I was complaining about the mismanagement and cowardice of the department head of another part of the company I work for.

My father, unprompted and without a shred of evidence for it, said "I'm sure DEI had something to do with it."

I had to pause for a second before explaining that the man in question was whiter than I am and is in his 30s. The like poster child of "failed upward" and Dunning-Kruger Effect.

The fox poisoning of my father's mind is pretty hard to deal with even as I've been a lifelong witness to it. Dumb shit.

[stardust948]

Wouldn't you know it. As soon as I start complaining about my apartment through Counting Stars, it starts acting up again

[timmchalamet]

i don't remember stuff i did today and seeing the stuff i did makes me want to cry because i don't remember anything, my head just splits... all the time... i'm still not used to it... to dissociate so hard... my doctor said i will always be like this and i want to cry. i hope i can get used to it like all of my other symptoms.