#very much a shitpost I thought this was funny

[dryya-doesnt]

Probably how they first met idk this was funnier in my head

[holyshitidontusethisanymore]

IF YOU ASKED BRBA CHARACTERS WHAT THEIR PRONOUNS WERE:

-

Walter: Well, because I am male, he/him/his would be theoretically correct in all appropriate circumstances

Walter 2-5: I'm a male, so what do you possibly think I would go by? Yeah, exactly.

Jesse: Pronouns? Seriously? The hell is a- Okay yknow what, I don't know, fucking straight or like whatever? Bitch.

Skyler: Oh, sweet of you to ask, she/her, darling

Walt jr: uhhh.. w-whats a pronoun again?

Hank: I'm a red-blooded American, republican man, what else the fuck I look like to you? Jesus christ, buddy

Marie: Pronouns? God, do I really look like a man that you had to ask such a thing?

Saul: Ha, while my pronouns would be he/him, my adjectives would be handsome/awe-inspiring, thanks for asking, sweet cheeks

Gus: My name is Gustavo, that is all you need to know

Mike: I'm not sure where you are going with this, so I'm not even gonna bother answering

Gale: Oh gee, he/him/his would be the best for me, thanks!

Todd: he/him/his/himself, I'm sure of it.. sorry I'm drawing a blank, what does this have to do with cooking meth?

Uncle Jack: Do.. you actually want to fucking die?

Lydia: Uhm.. the female ones I suppose? What kind of question even is that..

Badger: Uhhh.. shit! I know this one! Hold on let me think I swear I know the answer to this-

Skinny P: Uh I dunno yo.. shit um.. 27?

Tuco: beats the absolute shit out of you

[spearxwind]

Every time i see people's specbio designs out there im blown away by all of the design elements and thought put into them not only in terms of the biology and anatomy of the creatures but in terms of their world and their culture and their CLOTHES its all genuinely so creative

I've also noticed most are based on clothes and cultures from across OUR earth, depending on biomes (steppe tribes, desert nomads, vibrant ethnic groups from south america and africa, european moutain/tundra village families) and pretty much everything is game... save for the entirety of western europe and the (white) US of A (and for good reasons, this isnt a critique by any means)

So my plea is: i want to see the white people of specbio. Where's the aliens that are dressed like this:

[guiiay]

denji vs. the racism devil

[sundial-bee-scribbles]

"my education is my highest priority" everything returns to vocaloid

[masquenoire]

That feel when your muse is capable of committing the nastiest, most horrific deeds but simultaneously can be wholesome af. Roman would absolutely be the type of parent who'd stop in the middle of torturing somebody just because his child woke up crying due to a nightmare, clean himself up and go comfort them until they fall back to sleep again before heading back to the torture chamber and picking up the scalpel while being all "Sorry about that, remind me again where we left off?" as though nothing happened. 🥲

[sscrambledmeggss]

How I imagine Sebastian after every interaction with Kurt in the lima bean

[rawliverandgoronspice]

not me constantly putting mass effect, zelda, and pathologic examples in my classes and showing my entire ass over and over and over............

[iceysaur]

This been done yet. Also idfk why plush Whitty came out like that

Also I bought Whitty

The main sprites are from the FNF wiki before anyone fucking comes for my head again. Idk if I need permission to use them but jic

[katyspersonal]

It might be really cliche I know, but also? I imagine Micolash would at least once fake feeling bad or outright dying to observe Edgar break the reluctance facade and watch him panic and worry about him and freak up about losing the only "friend" he has in the Nightmare xd And when Mico reveals being alright - of course he'd afterwards troll Edgar about revealing his caring :smh:

[fitzfunnymoments]

I'm 2 days late but happy 1 year anniversary to one of the worst things that has ever obliterated my laptop while I was working on it <3

[hotchfiles]

hotch "representing the bau" hotchner x activist!reader who won't stand for bullshit

not like actual conflict cause we know hotch is a very principled guy

more like

"shit i can't shitpost about overthrowing the government anymore cause my boyfriend is the government" vibes

you have no idea how deeply i feel about this i've actually posted about this because i'm very much against all cops and he's a literal fed ! but

You met in the most conventional of ways, which makes the whole thing even funnier to the outside person. A bar. You noticed him the moment he walked in, too downright gorgeous to be ignored, you stare at him completely shamelessly and get a few shy awkward smiles in return while he sips on his first drink and talks to his companion, who you later learned was Rossi.

He will find it later on that you're not really up for games, but it takes him by surprise when you approach him, card in hand with your phone number and the red stain of your red lips on the other side. He's immediately smitten, being flirted with so openly at his age does wonders for his ego and he makes sure to text you as soon as he gets back to his apartment.

The texting back and forth goes for hours, a lot of flirting, you're much more outspoken than he is, but still you find him hilarious, you will be telling your friends he's the funny one between you two (none of them will believe you, but you like having this only to yourself as well).

You talk movies, plays, music, favorite drinks and by 2AM he asks you on a date. It’s perfect from the get go. He's flattering, compliments your choice of clothes, says he likes the lipstick (the same you used on the card he is keeping safe on his wallet), takes you to a nice restaurant.

You tell him since you made the very first move, he would have to be the one to kiss you, he argues he sent you the first text so you should be the one to do it, in the end none of you know who took the first move, you're just sure you were the one to unlock your apartment door, stumbling along with him as you two passionately kissed.

It's not common for this to happen for him, he's too much of a gentleman, sleeping with someone on the first date isn't the gentlemanly thing to do, you're not attached to those norms so even if he tried to argue, your lips glued to his neck as you worked on his belt took his mind off of it.

It's not until the next morning that he really notices your place: The types of books you had, some revolutionary art pieces and it's then he realizes he has no idea what you do for a living. Neither did he tell you he was a FBI agent. You two talked long hours and career wasn't even a topic (that may be why you caught his heart so fast).

You were a journalist, a writer, quite proficient and known for your progressive ideals and less than civil protests, so when you both realize the differences and the conflict it might bring, the first instinct was to pull away. Forget the whole thing. It was only one date after all.

It's a matter of days for the realization that being apart won't happen, your thoughts are filled with him and his voice and the way he touched you and Aaron can possibly detail every curve of your body and the way you smelled as if he was still in bed with you.

There's a mutual agreement of public discretion, you can't have your readers knowing you're falling for a fed, nor does the media needs any more reasons to write about the FBI.

His team knows though, and so does Strauss, she had to be warned of the possibility of your name popping up in some lists. She reads half of your writings after that, highlighting stuff you should not be writing about (you won't listen to her on it) and the compromise you make is to keep all of your opposition material completely professional, no tweets, no tiktoks, nothing of the sort with jokes about overthrowing the government.

"Did you... Did you just cite and use one of Stalin's books as a resource here?" He asks, he's in your bed, blue boxer shorts and white t-shirt on, completely comfortable with you already, his reading glasses sit on top of his nose like an old man and he furrows his brows, looking up at you. Aaron's interested in what you write, he truly reads whatever you hand him just to learn more about you, he's not the one to try to censure any of it.

"Well yeah... His writings are the easiest to comprehend on the topic." You shrug, not understanding the tone of his question at first.

"Honey... You can't just... Do you know how many... Forget it. Your editor will love it." His poor attempts to talk you down failing each time he looked over and saw your expectant eyes as his opinion is important to you. You smile at his defeat, taking the papers from his hand and throwing somewhere else in the room, his glasses go to the bedside table and soon you're kissing any of his worries away.

[tragedytells-tales]

Brooo I love your writing so much!! It’s literally so great😭 can you write the brothers (or just Lucifer and Satan if that’s too much) with a teen!mc (platonic obv) that is VERY gen z. Like if they’re able to have their phone while in Devildom then they would constantly be talking about stupid internet drama while using strange terms. They know the stuff they say is weird but that just encourages them to be even more unhinged and chaotic. I just thought it’d be funny :) thanks if you decide to do this!!

"I hear you loud and clear! My apologies for this taking so long, I was only able to come up with something for Lucifer and Satan."

--------------------------------------

Lessons in cringe culture

Notes - Teen!MC, Headcanons, Shitpost, comedy just pure comedy

Characters - Feat. Lucifer and Satan

Summary - MC has a few ideas on how to make these ten million years old demons more modern. Are they good ideas? Who knows and who cares

Warnings - Not proof read

TW - None

Lucifer:

[ New word to vocabulary - Gyatt ]

- So MC teaches him gyatt. And not actually on purpose, but not on accident either. They had the thought of saying it out loud around him just to see if it would be a good enough substitute for "god" that they could say it without almost smiting the Avatar.

- They had the thought about a week ago and completely forgot about, but they couldn't just sit there silently when they got jumpscared by the newest update to celestialdrop Valley

"You can now drink mayonnaise."

- Either way he is scared of teenagers of MCs variety because he was sitting in pure silence, minding his whole business while MC did something on their phone, until suddenly they screamed from the top of their lungs

"GYATT DAMN?! LEVI YOU WON'T BEEEEELIVE THIS!"

- Not only did they startle him out of his old ten million years aged bones, and dared to swear in his presence, but then before running to show Levi whatever it was that sparked this outburst MC turned to him and asked

"Are you all good?"

"...Yes? Why would I not be?"

- They give him the most evil of smiles before leaving. The smile was so evil that it sent shivers down his spine, for a human it was a devilish little smile that he knew meant nothing but trouble.

- The things he'd give for a single one of his technically adopted family to be normal ( <-- He literally handpicked everyone in the house, and he's no better but he's also the oldest so )

- He asks MC about it later and gets a proper explanation, only thing is that now he can't ground them for the improper use of language because the use of "gyatt" was surprisingly clever and smart

- Damnit MC, stop getting the braincell!

- He genuinely starts using it in secret whenever he wants to say "goddamn", he dare not utter it around his brothers lest they start bullying him

- Jokes on him, he gets drunk and slips up in the group chat!

Satan:

[ New phrase to vocabulary - It's my turn with the braincell! ]

- Speaking of. One would think that because he reads so many things and has so much knowledge and is technically the youngest of his brothers that he would know at least a bit of funky phrases

- He does. He knows Devildom phrases specifically. But he's also stupidly smart, smart stupid if you will, so he takes things MC sometimes says a tad to literal

- So imagine his surprise when they say "Hey, it's my turn with the braincell. I need it for algebra, hand it over!!!" While studying with their friends

- If you imagined very, very surprised then you are correct

- Aka: he's worried about the amount of concussions MC must've had for them to lost so many brain cells that they need to borrow and take turns with them from others

- He would've also questioned where and how they’re getting the brain cells they’re borrowing if he weren't so concerned in the first place

- He genuinely asks them what kind of brain cells are they missing to see how he can help

- They tell him "My brother in christ, I'm simply jesting about" and now he thinks MC is a sickly Victorian child with a lack of brain cells who got cursed

- Congratulations MC, you've tricked the smartest person in the house, but at what cost?

- The cost of him texting the group chat that MC has lost brain cells and needs to borrow some, that's what. All because they're too busy laughing to properly explain, and now Levi and Belphi are clowning on everyone else because they ALL fell for it too

- The price of living with beings who are over ten million years old is a steep one

- He steals the phrase and instantly starts telling his brothers to borrow brain cells btw, he's adapting

- He's been stealing phrases from MC for a while now, but this one is his favorite

- ( They taught him "fuck this thing, fuck that thing, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool-" last week, they’re not allowed to be friends anymore )

AN - The idea of teaching Lucifer "gyatt" made my lungs hurt, but then the thought of Asmo learning "down bad", Beel learning "bussin", and Mammon learning "L + Ratio + you fell off + fatherless" also made me lose it. I just wasn't sure how to go about that. ( Also thanks for the compliment!!! I hold it ever so gently,,, )

[bucketspammer4life]

what i think your favorite PO boxer says about you

based on my biases and a year of experience (if you get mad over how i talked about your fave im going to turn you into a can of spam)

first time ive ever maxed out the tags

if i missed your fav tell me ‼️

doc louis - you have good taste and are starving for content about him, you really are a survivor

little mac - you either project onto him or just like calling him your son

glass joe - you have a thing for pathetic men (understandable tbh) and like calling him a wet cat since he fits that desc well

von kaiser - same thing as joe but add a hint of "oh no hes hot"

disco kid - you literally have no enemies i love you so much its not even funny (platonic)

king hippo - my god you are good at making up lore, how the fuck do you make a solid personality for a character that only roars and grunts

piston hondo - im 100% youre a saint, no hondo fan i met has ever been unpleasant to talk with

bear hugger - you either see him as a father figure or just think hes hot or (secret third option) you like making jokes about him being a disney princess, either way youre cool

great tiger - oh you have been here for a long time, literally every great tiger fan i know has been in the fandom since 7.000 BC or something, also youre prob really good at art

don flamenco - you use the word "cunty" on a daily basis or just like making fun of his stupid bald head, also yes he has eyeliner on 100%

aran ryan - you'd overthrow a goverment for this greasy rat, youre extremely extremely gay and/or neurodivergent and thats very good for you, you also like making him say lad and have had to go ankle deep in irish slang when making him speak in fanfics

soda popinski - ive never seen someone have soda as their fav, hes always 2nd place somehow so im just gonna go take a shot in the dark and say you like the color pink (mental gymnastics who??)

bald bull - you are a mixed bag, i gen cant put a finger on what kind of personality bull stans have but i can say you either find him hot or like making fun of him, maybe both

super macho man - least serious people ever with some traumatizing lore for the boxers & their own ocs, you prob make him say bogus 88268292 times in a sentence and i can respect that

mr sandman - ive only seen 2 (two ) ppl who have him as their fav and its kinda sad, youre starving for content of him and i wish you the best

birdie mac - hes your son (im not elaborating)

gabby jay - same thing as joe but you went over the top with liking dilfs

narcis prince - gay. gay gay homosexual gay. you went for the self obsessed blonde twink and you thought it wasnt obvious?? you fucking homosexual

heike kagero - youre 1000% queer, sorry to be a broken record about the gay thing but ur fav is literally a man with long hair & makeup that has to be some flavor of queer

hoy quarlow - you are/were another ancient punch out fan, you def shitpost a lot

bruiser bros - where are you??? ive gen never met a bruiser bros fan and its concerning like dude where did u go

texas mac - im sorry but you dont exist, ive never ever seen a texas mac fan, not even someone who mentions him

mad clown - you foul clownfucker. you have weird taste in characters you find hot and tbh im all here for it

masked muscle - same thing as texas mac but theres a slight chance you exist, if you do please show yourself

dragon chan - another punch out ancient fan, you probably were most active in 2013-2019 and kinda miss old shitposts and have either moved on or dont participate much anymore

spo aran - (this is mostly for Charlie but i have hope that theres some other spo aran fans out there) youre probably looking for other spo aran fans, goodpeed soldier, goodpeed

mask x - you arent getting away with this fuck you

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Seal anon here!

Just thought of a very funny y/n for the cookie world...a y/n who is oblivious to all the cookies trying go flirt and stuff with them! Also easily distracted like one second they simply think a cookie is being really nice to them and then the next they get distracted by a butterfly. Basically in the 'I want y/n' wars, they gotta keep y/n's attention on them and basically be something like 'and that is why I should be the one to date y/n-y/n, sweetheart, no. Don't wander off. Here, have a sweet treat and stay riiiight there. Ok? Ok. Anyway what makes you think you're worthy of y/n?' Or two cookies could be fighting over y/n while THINKING y/n is still close by but then they pause and realize 'wait where did y/n go?' And have to go chase em down lol!

Like have to keep y/n distracted and close to them or else they will wander off and do their own thing lmao! A very oblivious y/n!

What better duo with this than Milk and Yam?

Tw: SHITPOSTING, brief mentions of manipulation

Milk is sweet and worries a lot. He tends to panic when MC wanders off without him nearby. That's why he tends to hug them or hold their hand so they don't leave without him noticing. Once he finds them he's cooing and basically babying them a little too much.

Meanwhile, Yam is the equivalent of a Chihuahua. He's screaming and yelling, which is his way of calling for MC. Once he finds them, he just puts them over his shoulder so they can't get away. He does enjoy the feeling of them being helpless without him.

If the two are in the same space, it's literally an old married couple + MC.

Milk will try to lure MC in with his nurturing nature while also trying to passive-aggressively shove Purple Yam out of the way. If they're out adventuring he likes to just randomly put his shield up and be like, "You can't forget your shield MC! You might get hurt without me right by you!"

Yam gets so pissed at Milk because he knows Milk is trying to push him out of the way. The only way Yam tries to get MC's attention is through his language. I can see him swearing and being mad about things constantly; that MC finds it funny. In battle, he'll just swing around his mace to protect the group. But especially MC. "HRAGH! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY MILK I WANNA TALK TO THEM!"

I can see Milk and Yam arguing in whisper-yelling (we'll ignore that Yam can't be quiet right now) while MC is asleep. Like when they're camping for the night and MC is sleeping in between the two.

"You need to stop being so mean and aggressive with them! They do nothing wrong! I can't believe you would do such a thing to a poor little thing like them..." Milk pets your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Look who's talking! You're the one manipulating them with your fucking 'Prince Charming' act! If anything, I'm just like any other cookie who has anger issues!"

"Me? I would never! I just want my precious one safe...and sound." Milk stares at your face with too much of a loving look. His smile practically glued onto his face.

"Yeah right! I'm the one beating up bad guys here!" Yam reaches an arm to tug you closer but hesitates.

"Go to sleep!"

"No! You go to sleep!"

"Guys I think I might be controlled by a human entity that has a really large finger." Suddenly, you whisper, absolutely clueless to the conversation.

"What? Say again?"

"HUh?"

"Finger..." You fall back asleep.

——————————————————

I was in the mood for some shitposting. No, I will never be sorry for it.

I was thinking Gumball and Darwin at the very end lol

- Celina

[secretmellowblog]

I hope tumblr doesn’t die because No other social media site is as good for long, thoughtful, nuanced analyses of media. Yeah tumblr is also full of dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts, but you can make dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts anywhere —-there are no other popular social media sites that let you easily format and share long essays on the media you enjoy, and then have conversations around those long essays.

Fandom on all the other big social websites just seems so utterly …shallow. And it’s not because people on other websites aren’t thoughtful or don’t have deep things to say, but because these sites’ formats do not allow for any kind of long nuanced conversations.

Tiktok? Things have to be crammed into a super short video with an attention grabbing headline, and you can’t hyperlink sources. Instagram? Everything has to be in an image format with strict limits on length, and nothing will be shown to your followers anyway because of how Instagram’s algorithm works, and also no hyperlinks. Twitter? Strict character limits, and if you split it into threads it means someone can retweet a part of your essay completely out of context, and also very little freedom with formatting.

It frustrates me so much. If I go into the Tumblr Les Mis fandom I’ll find really compelling long essays on the original novel (including essays being written for the ongoing book club) on the story’s historical context, or the parallels between different characters and their narrative foils, or the way the politics were defanged for certain adaptations, or the way Victor Hugo’s personal life and failings affected the novel. But on tiktok I’ll get the same five shallow stale jokes from 2013 over and over, or maybe the same “DID U KNO THAT IN THE MUSICAL JAVERT AND VALJEAN SING THE SAME LEITMOTIF” style of basic Intro To Les Mis 101 For Babies media analysis (which is what Tiktok considers deep media analysis), or stale “LOL JAVERT ACTS GAY” style jokes as if we’re living in the early 2000s and calling a character gay is still a funny punchline. And it’s impossible to have any kind of deeper thoughtful discussions than “DID U KNOW <x Kool Fact>” or “lol <shallow observational joke>” on tiktok because the platform just isn’t built for building niche communities around in depth conversations. it’s built to churn out bland generic content for as wide an audience as possible, which means pointing out a small detail like an Easter egg and calling it “cool” is deep media analysis, because you cant have longer more in depth conversations without alienating people. And I hate it. Bc like, it’s not because there aren’t smart clever thoughtful people on Tiktok— there are—it’s because Tiktok isn’t built for these conversations, and anyone who wants to have them has to really fight against the things the website encourages or prioritizes!

Or like, if I go into the LOTR fandom on Tumblr, I’ll find tons of extremely long analysis and fanfic, and analysis of queer readings of the story. On Instagram people will still shriek in terror if you suggest the characters are gay, and most of the popular lotr posts are stale memes recycled from like 2007. There’s really no room for thoughtful media analysis, and even if you did create it, instagram’s algorithm would make sure no one saw your post anyway.

And everyone’s going to say “the algorithm shows you what you’ve seen before so maybe it’s your fault ~” or whatever but i do look for things I want! I do! “The algorithm” doesn’t know me or what I want or value or care about beyond this meaningless surface level.

The only thing that was worthwhile about these sites was the great visual art people were creating, but now the websites are overwhelmed with meaningless soulless machine-generated AI glurge, and it sucks. It just really, really sucks.

I’m honestly confused about why people don’t use tumblr….There’s no character limits! You have freedom with post formatting, and can insert images throughout textposts to illustrate specific points you’re making beneath the paragraphs where they’re necessary! You can add hyperlinks, linking to your sources! People can reblog your entire essay and share it, and then add on with commentary that then becomes part of a larger conversation! People can find your stuff through the tagging system! Reblogging means posts stay in circulation for years instead of being dead 30 minutes after they’re uploaded! If you want to have genuinely interesting text conversations about a piece of media, there really isn’t a better social media website for it anywhere.

To be clear, I’m definitely not saying Tumblr media analysis is *always* clever and thoughtful or etc etc. there are shitposts and nonsense here too (plenty of which I’ve created lol.) I’m saying that Tumblr gives people the tools for in-depth insightful analysis to happen. Whether people choose to do it or not is their own decision XD. But the reason lengthy in-depth conversations and book clubs are even possible here is because Tumblr is built for allowing these conversations to happen, in a way other sites simply aren’t.

It’d really suck if it died, because it’d be a huge blow to…being able to easily find long insightful in-depth media analysis written by fans. I currently don’t think there’s anything that could replace it.