#shitpost. this is very much a shitpost i thought would be funny

[iceysaur]

This been done yet. Also idfk why plush Whitty came out like that

Also I bought Whitty

The main sprites are from the FNF wiki before anyone fucking comes for my head again. Idk if I need permission to use them but jic

[holyshitidontusethisanymore]

IF YOU ASKED BRBA CHARACTERS WHAT THEIR PRONOUNS WERE:

-

Walter: Well, because I am male, he/him/his would be theoretically correct in all appropriate circumstances

Walter 2-5: I'm a male, so what do you possibly think I would go by? Yeah, exactly.

Jesse: Pronouns? Seriously? The hell is a- Okay yknow what, I don't know, fucking straight or like whatever? Bitch.

Skyler: Oh, sweet of you to ask, she/her, darling

Walt jr: uhhh.. w-whats a pronoun again?

Hank: I'm a red-blooded American, republican man, what else the fuck I look like to you? Jesus christ, buddy

Marie: Pronouns? God, do I really look like a man that you had to ask such a thing?

Saul: Ha, while my pronouns would be he/him, my adjectives would be handsome/awe-inspiring, thanks for asking, sweet cheeks

Gus: My name is Gustavo, that is all you need to know

Mike: I'm not sure where you are going with this, so I'm not even gonna bother answering

Gale: Oh gee, he/him/his would be the best for me, thanks!

Todd: he/him/his/himself, I'm sure of it.. sorry I'm drawing a blank, what does this have to do with cooking meth?

Uncle Jack: Do.. you actually want to fucking die?

Lydia: Uhm.. the female ones I suppose? What kind of question even is that..

Badger: Uhhh.. shit! I know this one! Hold on let me think I swear I know the answer to this-

Skinny P: Uh I dunno yo.. shit um.. 27?

Tuco: beats the absolute shit out of you

[guiiay]

denji vs. the racism devil

[masquenoire]

That feel when your muse is capable of committing the nastiest, most horrific deeds but simultaneously can be wholesome af. Roman would absolutely be the type of parent who'd stop in the middle of torturing somebody just because his child woke up crying due to a nightmare, clean himself up and go comfort them until they fall back to sleep again before heading back to the torture chamber and picking up the scalpel while being all "Sorry about that, remind me again where we left off?" as though nothing happened. 🥲

[hotchfiles]

hotch "representing the bau" hotchner x activist!reader who won't stand for bullshit

not like actual conflict cause we know hotch is a very principled guy

more like

"shit i can't shitpost about overthrowing the government anymore cause my boyfriend is the government" vibes

you have no idea how deeply i feel about this i've actually posted about this because i'm very much against all cops and he's a literal fed ! but

You met in the most conventional of ways, which makes the whole thing even funnier to the outside person. A bar. You noticed him the moment he walked in, too downright gorgeous to be ignored, you stare at him completely shamelessly and get a few shy awkward smiles in return while he sips on his first drink and talks to his companion, who you later learned was Rossi.

He will find it later on that you're not really up for games, but it takes him by surprise when you approach him, card in hand with your phone number and the red stain of your red lips on the other side. He's immediately smitten, being flirted with so openly at his age does wonders for his ego and he makes sure to text you as soon as he gets back to his apartment.

The texting back and forth goes for hours, a lot of flirting, you're much more outspoken than he is, but still you find him hilarious, you will be telling your friends he's the funny one between you two (none of them will believe you, but you like having this only to yourself as well).

You talk movies, plays, music, favorite drinks and by 2AM he asks you on a date. It’s perfect from the get go. He's flattering, compliments your choice of clothes, says he likes the lipstick (the same you used on the card he is keeping safe on his wallet), takes you to a nice restaurant.

You tell him since you made the very first move, he would have to be the one to kiss you, he argues he sent you the first text so you should be the one to do it, in the end none of you know who took the first move, you're just sure you were the one to unlock your apartment door, stumbling along with him as you two passionately kissed.

It's not common for this to happen for him, he's too much of a gentleman, sleeping with someone on the first date isn't the gentlemanly thing to do, you're not attached to those norms so even if he tried to argue, your lips glued to his neck as you worked on his belt took his mind off of it.

It's not until the next morning that he really notices your place: The types of books you had, some revolutionary art pieces and it's then he realizes he has no idea what you do for a living. Neither did he tell you he was a FBI agent. You two talked long hours and career wasn't even a topic (that may be why you caught his heart so fast).

You were a journalist, a writer, quite proficient and known for your progressive ideals and less than civil protests, so when you both realize the differences and the conflict it might bring, the first instinct was to pull away. Forget the whole thing. It was only one date after all.

It's a matter of days for the realization that being apart won't happen, your thoughts are filled with him and his voice and the way he touched you and Aaron can possibly detail every curve of your body and the way you smelled as if he was still in bed with you.

There's a mutual agreement of public discretion, you can't have your readers knowing you're falling for a fed, nor does the media needs any more reasons to write about the FBI.

His team knows though, and so does Strauss, she had to be warned of the possibility of your name popping up in some lists. She reads half of your writings after that, highlighting stuff you should not be writing about (you won't listen to her on it) and the compromise you make is to keep all of your opposition material completely professional, no tweets, no tiktoks, nothing of the sort with jokes about overthrowing the government.

"Did you... Did you just cite and use one of Stalin's books as a resource here?" He asks, he's in your bed, blue boxer shorts and white t-shirt on, completely comfortable with you already, his reading glasses sit on top of his nose like an old man and he furrows his brows, looking up at you. Aaron's interested in what you write, he truly reads whatever you hand him just to learn more about you, he's not the one to try to censure any of it.

"Well yeah... His writings are the easiest to comprehend on the topic." You shrug, not understanding the tone of his question at first.

"Honey... You can't just... Do you know how many... Forget it. Your editor will love it." His poor attempts to talk you down failing each time he looked over and saw your expectant eyes as his opinion is important to you. You smile at his defeat, taking the papers from his hand and throwing somewhere else in the room, his glasses go to the bedside table and soon you're kissing any of his worries away.

[tragedytells-tales]

Brooo I love your writing so much!! It’s literally so great😭 can you write the brothers (or just Lucifer and Satan if that’s too much) with a teen!mc (platonic obv) that is VERY gen z. Like if they’re able to have their phone while in Devildom then they would constantly be talking about stupid internet drama while using strange terms. They know the stuff they say is weird but that just encourages them to be even more unhinged and chaotic. I just thought it’d be funny :) thanks if you decide to do this!!

"I hear you loud and clear! My apologies for this taking so long, I was only able to come up with something for Lucifer and Satan."

--------------------------------------

Lessons in cringe culture

Notes - Teen!MC, Headcanons, Shitpost, comedy just pure comedy

Characters - Feat. Lucifer and Satan

Summary - MC has a few ideas on how to make these ten million years old demons more modern. Are they good ideas? Who knows and who cares

Warnings - Not proof read

TW - None

Lucifer:

[ New word to vocabulary - Gyatt ]

- So MC teaches him gyatt. And not actually on purpose, but not on accident either. They had the thought of saying it out loud around him just to see if it would be a good enough substitute for "god" that they could say it without almost smiting the Avatar.

- They had the thought about a week ago and completely forgot about, but they couldn't just sit there silently when they got jumpscared by the newest update to celestialdrop Valley

"You can now drink mayonnaise."

- Either way he is scared of teenagers of MCs variety because he was sitting in pure silence, minding his whole business while MC did something on their phone, until suddenly they screamed from the top of their lungs

"GYATT DAMN?! LEVI YOU WON'T BEEEEELIVE THIS!"

- Not only did they startle him out of his old ten million years aged bones, and dared to swear in his presence, but then before running to show Levi whatever it was that sparked this outburst MC turned to him and asked

"Are you all good?"

"...Yes? Why would I not be?"

- They give him the most evil of smiles before leaving. The smile was so evil that it sent shivers down his spine, for a human it was a devilish little smile that he knew meant nothing but trouble.

- The things he'd give for a single one of his technically adopted family to be normal ( <-- He literally handpicked everyone in the house, and he's no better but he's also the oldest so )

- He asks MC about it later and gets a proper explanation, only thing is that now he can't ground them for the improper use of language because the use of "gyatt" was surprisingly clever and smart

- Damnit MC, stop getting the braincell!

- He genuinely starts using it in secret whenever he wants to say "goddamn", he dare not utter it around his brothers lest they start bullying him

- Jokes on him, he gets drunk and slips up in the group chat!

Satan:

[ New phrase to vocabulary - It's my turn with the braincell! ]

- Speaking of. One would think that because he reads so many things and has so much knowledge and is technically the youngest of his brothers that he would know at least a bit of funky phrases

- He does. He knows Devildom phrases specifically. But he's also stupidly smart, smart stupid if you will, so he takes things MC sometimes says a tad to literal

- So imagine his surprise when they say "Hey, it's my turn with the braincell. I need it for algebra, hand it over!!!" While studying with their friends

- If you imagined very, very surprised then you are correct

- Aka: he's worried about the amount of concussions MC must've had for them to lost so many brain cells that they need to borrow and take turns with them from others

- He would've also questioned where and how they’re getting the brain cells they’re borrowing if he weren't so concerned in the first place

- He genuinely asks them what kind of brain cells are they missing to see how he can help

- They tell him "My brother in christ, I'm simply jesting about" and now he thinks MC is a sickly Victorian child with a lack of brain cells who got cursed

- Congratulations MC, you've tricked the smartest person in the house, but at what cost?

- The cost of him texting the group chat that MC has lost brain cells and needs to borrow some, that's what. All because they're too busy laughing to properly explain, and now Levi and Belphi are clowning on everyone else because they ALL fell for it too

- The price of living with beings who are over ten million years old is a steep one

- He steals the phrase and instantly starts telling his brothers to borrow brain cells btw, he's adapting

- He's been stealing phrases from MC for a while now, but this one is his favorite

- ( They taught him "fuck this thing, fuck that thing, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool-" last week, they’re not allowed to be friends anymore )

AN - The idea of teaching Lucifer "gyatt" made my lungs hurt, but then the thought of Asmo learning "down bad", Beel learning "bussin", and Mammon learning "L + Ratio + you fell off + fatherless" also made me lose it. I just wasn't sure how to go about that. ( Also thanks for the compliment!!! I hold it ever so gently,,, )

[murder-cookie-dust393]

Seal anon here!

Just thought of a very funny y/n for the cookie world...a y/n who is oblivious to all the cookies trying go flirt and stuff with them! Also easily distracted like one second they simply think a cookie is being really nice to them and then the next they get distracted by a butterfly. Basically in the 'I want y/n' wars, they gotta keep y/n's attention on them and basically be something like 'and that is why I should be the one to date y/n-y/n, sweetheart, no. Don't wander off. Here, have a sweet treat and stay riiiight there. Ok? Ok. Anyway what makes you think you're worthy of y/n?' Or two cookies could be fighting over y/n while THINKING y/n is still close by but then they pause and realize 'wait where did y/n go?' And have to go chase em down lol!

Like have to keep y/n distracted and close to them or else they will wander off and do their own thing lmao! A very oblivious y/n!

What better duo with this than Milk and Yam?

Tw: SHITPOSTING, brief mentions of manipulation

Milk is sweet and worries a lot. He tends to panic when MC wanders off without him nearby. That's why he tends to hug them or hold their hand so they don't leave without him noticing. Once he finds them he's cooing and basically babying them a little too much.

Meanwhile, Yam is the equivalent of a Chihuahua. He's screaming and yelling, which is his way of calling for MC. Once he finds them, he just puts them over his shoulder so they can't get away. He does enjoy the feeling of them being helpless without him.

If the two are in the same space, it's literally an old married couple + MC.

Milk will try to lure MC in with his nurturing nature while also trying to passive-aggressively shove Purple Yam out of the way. If they're out adventuring he likes to just randomly put his shield up and be like, "You can't forget your shield MC! You might get hurt without me right by you!"

Yam gets so pissed at Milk because he knows Milk is trying to push him out of the way. The only way Yam tries to get MC's attention is through his language. I can see him swearing and being mad about things constantly; that MC finds it funny. In battle, he'll just swing around his mace to protect the group. But especially MC. "HRAGH! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING WAY MILK I WANNA TALK TO THEM!"

I can see Milk and Yam arguing in whisper-yelling (we'll ignore that Yam can't be quiet right now) while MC is asleep. Like when they're camping for the night and MC is sleeping in between the two.

"You need to stop being so mean and aggressive with them! They do nothing wrong! I can't believe you would do such a thing to a poor little thing like them..." Milk pets your hair, pulling you closer to him.

"Look who's talking! You're the one manipulating them with your fucking 'Prince Charming' act! If anything, I'm just like any other cookie who has anger issues!"

"Me? I would never! I just want my precious one safe...and sound." Milk stares at your face with too much of a loving look. His smile practically glued onto his face.

"Yeah right! I'm the one beating up bad guys here!" Yam reaches an arm to tug you closer but hesitates.

"Go to sleep!"

"No! You go to sleep!"

"Guys I think I might be controlled by a human entity that has a really large finger." Suddenly, you whisper, absolutely clueless to the conversation.

"What? Say again?"

"HUh?"

"Finger..." You fall back asleep.

——————————————————

I was in the mood for some shitposting. No, I will never be sorry for it.

I was thinking Gumball and Darwin at the very end lol

- Celina

[secretmellowblog]

I hope tumblr doesn’t die because No other social media site is as good for long, thoughtful, nuanced analyses of media. Yeah tumblr is also full of dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts, but you can make dumb shallow hot takes and shitposts anywhere —-there are no other popular social media sites that let you easily format and share long essays on the media you enjoy, and then have conversations around those long essays.

Fandom on all the other big social websites just seems so utterly …shallow. And it’s not because people on other websites aren’t thoughtful or don’t have deep things to say, but because these sites’ formats do not allow for any kind of long nuanced conversations.

Tiktok? Things have to be crammed into a super short video with an attention grabbing headline, and you can’t hyperlink sources. Instagram? Everything has to be in an image format with strict limits on length, and nothing will be shown to your followers anyway because of how Instagram’s algorithm works, and also no hyperlinks. Twitter? Strict character limits, and if you split it into threads it means someone can retweet a part of your essay completely out of context, and also very little freedom with formatting.

It frustrates me so much. If I go into the Tumblr Les Mis fandom I’ll find really compelling long essays on the original novel (including essays being written for the ongoing book club) on the story’s historical context, or the parallels between different characters and their narrative foils, or the way the politics were defanged for certain adaptations, or the way Victor Hugo’s personal life and failings affected the novel. But on tiktok I’ll get the same five shallow stale jokes from 2013 over and over, or maybe the same “DID U KNO THAT IN THE MUSICAL JAVERT AND VALJEAN SING THE SAME LEITMOTIF” style of basic Intro To Les Mis 101 For Babies media analysis (which is what Tiktok considers deep media analysis), or stale “LOL JAVERT ACTS GAY” style jokes as if we’re living in the early 2000s and calling a character gay is still a funny punchline. And it’s impossible to have any kind of deeper thoughtful discussions than “DID U KNOW <x Kool Fact>” or “lol <shallow observational joke>” on tiktok because the platform just isn’t built for building niche communities around in depth conversations. it’s built to churn out bland generic content for as wide an audience as possible, which means pointing out a small detail like an Easter egg and calling it “cool” is deep media analysis, because you cant have longer more in depth conversations without alienating people. And I hate it. Bc like, it’s not because there aren’t smart clever thoughtful people on Tiktok— there are—it’s because Tiktok isn’t built for these conversations, and anyone who wants to have them has to really fight against the things the website encourages or prioritizes!

Or like, if I go into the LOTR fandom on Tumblr, I’ll find tons of extremely long analysis and fanfic, and analysis of queer readings of the story. On Instagram people will still shriek in terror if you suggest the characters are gay, and most of the popular lotr posts are stale memes recycled from like 2007. There’s really no room for thoughtful media analysis, and even if you did create it, instagram’s algorithm would make sure no one saw your post anyway.

And everyone’s going to say “the algorithm shows you what you’ve seen before so maybe it’s your fault ~” or whatever but i do look for things I want! I do! “The algorithm” doesn’t know me or what I want or value or care about beyond this meaningless surface level.

The only thing that was worthwhile about these sites was the great visual art people were creating, but now the websites are overwhelmed with meaningless soulless machine-generated AI glurge, and it sucks. It just really, really sucks.

I’m honestly confused about why people don’t use tumblr….There’s no character limits! You have freedom with post formatting, and can insert images throughout textposts to illustrate specific points you’re making beneath the paragraphs where they’re necessary! You can add hyperlinks, linking to your sources! People can reblog your entire essay and share it, and then add on with commentary that then becomes part of a larger conversation! People can find your stuff through the tagging system! Reblogging means posts stay in circulation for years instead of being dead 30 minutes after they’re uploaded! If you want to have genuinely interesting text conversations about a piece of media, there really isn’t a better social media website for it anywhere.

To be clear, I’m definitely not saying Tumblr media analysis is *always* clever and thoughtful or etc etc. there are shitposts and nonsense here too (plenty of which I’ve created lol.) I’m saying that Tumblr gives people the tools for in-depth insightful analysis to happen. Whether people choose to do it or not is their own decision XD. But the reason lengthy in-depth conversations and book clubs are even possible here is because Tumblr is built for allowing these conversations to happen, in a way other sites simply aren’t.

It’d really suck if it died, because it’d be a huge blow to…being able to easily find long insightful in-depth media analysis written by fans. I currently don’t think there’s anything that could replace it.

[suiana]

I followed you for your fics but I stay because of your personality (your shitposts)

vro❤️

i genuinely feel that those tiktok slideshows r getting to me

the ones where they have the ur month ur curse/blessing kinda thing n they absolutely shit on December

idk i might laugh and think its funny after reading it but it always makes me feel like the worst person alive afterwards

i always feel like im not giving u guys enough or whether im doing my best in writing so i did something different n started doing this cringe concept, i thought it would make things easier on me if i just made stupid and cringe fics

but it doesn't really help because i too, want to be like the other writers on here that can post their aesthetic n cool works

but i fear that if i try seriously writing it'll look like im a tryhard and am putting in too much effort

i always feel so out of place everywhere i go and even on tumblr i get so scared to post because what i write is so different compared to others that i feel everyone will just start shit talking me and feel that im a shit writer

i always feel like a horrible person no matter what i do i know i might seem like a funny and easy going person but I actually get so worried that u guys will all leave me one day when im not entertaining anymore so i try to be as funny as possible

every like n comment means a lot to me and im very thankful for each and every one of you here

u guys mean the world to me, so even if im seen as a joke or loser to u guys, im ready and willing to play the part for you guys

[proboblynotstriaght]

I put far too much effort into my shitposting and screenshot taking...

Oh well! you all seem to enjoy them! And I like having all my best screenshots in a place that doesn't take up a crazy amount of space in my computer!!

As usual past the cut there are spoilers for episode 40 but I try to keep it away from any major spoilers

(also psst, @raeemar this is for you! your reblog made my day!)

Let's get into Episode 40!!!! Rich : The bean footage is a DM thing I can't say it! ||| Mike : eeeeeehhhh we can change it?

Bro bonding moment, bullying lornings edition

Twig : *explaining fae deals and how to make better deals* |||| Gricko : *not paying attention*

Nikkie : *doing a fantastic Torbek impression!* ||| A++ Nikkie Torbeks voice is hard

"Twig we haven't run a successful business in all the 8 years-" "Woah now!" uh oh! the couple is Fiiiighting

"Think of the margins we'll have on the Displacer Beast piss"

Frost : So are we going to kill these fucker or what?

"I guess that makes sense... fucking nerd"

"I knew a guy who would make and sell this kinda stuff, 5 people died it was a whole thing in the news and everything" "Well how many people did he sell it to" "Like... 5"

"Well, I'm just going to say... shit that was funny"

"How long did it take those goblins to die?" "the last one lingered... for a good three months"

Twigsy, blacked out from all the alcohol, and flailing around as Gideon picks her up

His face haunts my dreams...

Derek : *a punny name for the drink* || Gricko : that's not very good

Frost and Kremy are drunk, Gricko and Gideon are trying to be the smart ones for once

"Frost you realize that you've been writing with a chicken leg, and what you thought was parchment, is now clearly human skin" "Well, I've completed page one of my cookbook, the Necro-Nom-Nom-Nom"

"He is continuing to do whatever Torbek does" "Pump his fists" "NO HE DOES NOT"

Grickos imitation of Gideon, I just need you to know that Mace is laughing so hard that it's not actually audible.

This man is laughing so hard he is completely silent and shaking, I'm genuinely concerned for this mans health

Derek : It doesn't even give Gricko a little wink? Like John Void at the end of Anaconda?

I love when Derek makes a joke because they are funny, but also he's almost laughing himself as he's telling the joke

Richie : I'm sorry I thought he was saying something else

guys it took me like four trays to get the screenshot of his face, IT'S SO FUNNY

MIke in Gricko's voise : Gimmie that Bussay

"The Stream Kill-inator" "beep beep beep"

Husband moments be like. FRosty really likes to irritate Kremy about his hat huh

SHUT THE STREAM DOWN

"BEEP BEEP BEEP"

I don't understand most of the references they make but I like how hard they all laugh at them

Derek telling a ridiculous story of how he had too watch the same movie twice in one day and he hated the movie both times

Nikkie : *Horrifying description of Torbek eating one of the Lornlings* Just kidding that doesn't happen!

Singing : It's Torbek It's Torbek, Everybody hates Torbek

Part 2 of this post is one the way! These posts keep getting longer and longer

Edit : Part 2 is here!!!

https://www.tumblr.com/proboblynotstriaght/760423614759714816/part-2-of-my-episode-40-screenshots-despite-andy?source=share

[kairiscorner]

reader creating silly miguel emojis and sending them tk the spider society gc for everyone to use bc shes a fun gal ;p (and she likes annoying him too)

fr. (did i legit make a whole ass dc server for this? yes.) sorry i didn't change my display name to y/n, i got lazy 😭😭😭 also written ver with additional scenes under the cut !!

(reblogs are greatly appreciated, it helps get my content out there! if you guys like what you see, please reblog it too <:D)

shitting on miggy cutely. 🫶— miguel o'hara x reader

✧ written version !! ✧

after lyla had signed miguel up for a discord account, much to his frustration, you immediately got a hold of his username (which was really generic, he named himself: 'miguelohara' at first, but lyla changed it up to: 'migolohellnawh') and added him to the spider society's discord server. you made a channel that was dedicated to showing miguel all the stickers and emojis you and the society had made that was just full of memes of miguel. thanks to earth-928's social media, you were all fed with silly stickers and emojis of him for days; you all had a spam channel where hobie and pav would have contests to see whose thumbs could spam more miguel shitpost memes, but that would be a story for another day.

as miguel got notified that he was added to a server, the first thing that caught his eye was the vulgarly named channel of the server: "shitting on miggy". he brought his eyebrows together and tapped on the bold text of the channel's name. he asked what that channel was for, pointing out the name in a disappointed manner as he typed. lyla giggled under her breath as she watched miguel try to act intimidating and angry over text, but his scrunched up face crinkled even more as he saw that the first thing you sent him was a sticker of his stern, stoic face that had the words: "this ugly son of a bitch is fucking super hot chicks and basically you are fucking stupid. how? ...just watch the free video."

miguel had clicked the sticker, and he saw the file name: "singlehotmominyourarea". he huffed as he texted you, asking you what that was that you sent, because he thought it was an actual link to something. he took his reading glasses and, when he could make out what it said, he got angrier than he already was earlier. he told you what you sent was not at all funny, and when you replied that—no, it certainly wasn't... it was very hysterical, though—you sent him a very pink and cutesy sticker of him with cat ears. miguel groaned as lyla took a hundred screenshots remotely from his phone. "where are you even getting these?" he asked you as you kept sending him more shitpost stickers.

"but i don't even like horses." miguel muttered as he saw the "save a horse, ride a cowboy" sticker you sent. "yeah, you're scared of them." lyla reminded him as he rolled his eyes. "no need to remind me." he said as he typed out that he 'hated' (didn't fear, there's a difference, and that is that miguel is fucking lying, he is scared of horses) horses. but of course, you knew his secret, and miguel pounded his fist against the arm of his computer chair. "are you seriously telling them on your end?" he asked lyla as she stuck her tongue out and shrugged, looking all smug as miguel grumbled and told you that he didn't ask for your correction, only for you to send an emoji of your favorite girl dinner: his five course meal ass on display.

"yeah, you need ass correction 'bee cee' this bakery is packed; what...?" he read aloud as lyla groaned. "get with the times, old man." "we don't say stuff like that in 2099 anymore, don't tell me to get with the times." he told his AI assistant as he looked through the emoji catalogue you guys had, and among them all, a colorful one stood out to him and he sent it—hoping you could tell him what was on the emoji, but knowing you, you'd of course mess with him again. you told him the emoji, which was promptly named: "doublecheekedup", meant the very sticker you sent him in response. it was similar to the cat-eared one, but it read: "i <3 my girlfriend", with miguel's angry face in the heart.

miguel looked at it all confused and pulled his reading glasses away from his face and back on to see if he was reading this right. he asked you if he was supposed to be flattered about your sticker, with him immediately following up with his honest opinion; that it was irritating instead of flattering to him. you told him the sticker was more 'sexy' than it was irritating or flattering, and you soon sent him another sticker, where he was diving face first with his legs spread and bottom out. miguel looked at it all baffled and flustered, where were you getting these photos...?

you asked him who he was spreading for, asking if it was you, while sending him an emoji with his back turned to the camera and his ginormous bottom in full view. miguel couldn't make out the text in the emoji and told you the text was too minute for him to read it. he also cleared up that he wasn't intentionally spreading his cheeks for anyone, he had just 'stumbled'. "sure ya did." lyla said as she appeared over miguel's shoulder with a smug grin on her face. "i really didn't, though." miguel said as lyla nodded slowly, her smug grin not leaving her face as miguel saw your next message. "because you wanted to spread your asscheeks for me, i didn't spread for anybody!" he screamed aloud in the confines of his office, pounding his fist on the arm of his computer chair as you sent the girl dinner emoji that was the very profile picture of the spider society's discord server.

miguel was heated in the face and heaving... oh, was there some unspoken feelings he was hiding about your little provocative words? maybe... he might sound like he wants out of the server immediately, but deep in his heart, he'd stay; even if you'd annoy the shit out of him with those damned emojis and stickers. they were irritating, yes, and maybe just the tiniest bit flattering in a twisted way for him. "wow, you're a masochist." lyla pointed out as miguel mumbled for her to shut up, but she was right as always.

tags !! @miguelswifey04 @binibinileonara @simsrandomstuff @luvstarrstruck @popeheywardssecretgf @meeom @arachnoia @melovetitties @ophanimgold @hisachuu @wreakingmarveloushavok

[rabdom3127]

A rant about Disco Elysium’s “collage mode.”

I finished the game yesterday and it was absolutely beautiful; It set up so much for a future game (before the game was stolen from its developers); so it was kind of a bittersweet ending knowing that there was so much more of the world we were supposed to see.

Anyway.

After the beautiful end credits, I was taken back to the menu and noticed collage mode. I had seen it before but thought it would just be some art by the developers so I was very surprised when I was shown a blank canvas and the model of Harry.

Actual rant begins:

Essentially, collage mode is for the user to make fake screenshots or fake scenarios with the characters from the game, kind of like a dollhouse. For example, you can make your own dialogue, situations with different characters, there are multiple poses the models can do, a good quarter of them are for Harry and Kim to kiss, hug, etc etc. Collage mode was not included by the original developers, but by the company that took over the game.

That’s why I really don’t like it. Disco Elysium is such a *real* game, all the characters in it feel so real, like people you could actually meet. Collage mode just kind of breaks the immersion for me, it reminds me that this is just a game and the characters are not real by turning them into these dolls you can mess around with.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s funny to see the shitposts people make with this feature, but it just doesn’t feel right to me, I don’t know it’s hard to put into words.

[artbyblastweave]

One funny thing about Worm is that you can get basically to the end of the book before realizing that there’s a titular Worm, that the incredibly vague title is actually referring to a specific guy in the cast. It’s very likely you’ll have stopped thinking about this by the time it comes up, because the title’s broad thematic link to Taylor’s situation becomes obvious even before Cherish describes her with the extended worm metaphor.  If you really wanted to I guess you could also interpret the title as, like, a rot-of-society thing, worms eating away at the foundation, or an infiltration thing, Taylor worming her way into various groups and situations, putting herself in a position where she has the leverage to make people do what she wants. A Multifaceted title, to be sure. But there is, also, there is very much a Worm. There is a literal Worm, and this Worm is behind everything bad that happened, which of course sounds like a shitpost in the vein of the “morbin’ all over everything” jokes. You thought your society would collapse due to the preponderance of heavily-traumatized Nihilists gaining city-leveling superpowers, but it was I, The Worm.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I spent way too much time on what is essentially a shitpost...

But anyways. Post-Meursault road trip AU because it's funny to me and I couldn't rest until I drew this. (Read right to left.)

Basically, Sigma gets the information needed to stop Fukuchi but Fyodor escapes with the help of Hohol. Cat thief is alive and the four of them escape the prison and have to chase after Fyodor, leading to an impromptu road trip none of them want. Along the way, they pick up Adam to help with tracking him down.

Chuuya speaks to everyone else but is very adamant about not talking to or responding to Dazai at all - giving him the cold shoulder, basically. Dazai can't decide if he is more insulted that Chuuya isn't talking to him or that he's resisting his attempts at goading him through sheer determination. Adam is concerned at how tired Chuuya is and keeps making occasional offers to drive but he knows Chuuya's driving because he needs a distraction. Sigma is terrified someone is going to snap and he's going to get caught in the crossfire. Cat girl is having the time of her life.

(If you can't read my shoddy handwriting, here's the dialogue:

Thief: "Did you know that even with seatbelts, people die all the time in car crashes?"

Thief: "I thought that was interesting."

Adam: "Master Chuuya, if you are getting too tired, I would be happy to switch -"

Chuuya: "Nah, 'm good."

Adam, musing to himself: "The majority of accidents are caused by human error. If human drivers were replaced by androids, the roads would be safer."

Adam: "By which I mean the latest autonomous models, like myself. Those 'self-driving AI' are a disgrace."

Dazai, muttering after flicking a crumpled paper: "Chuuya, pay attention to me.")

@single-use-ship-of-theseus You get it!!!

[weevilsdaily]

… The whole point of us letting you know the post was ai generated was because ai generated images are harmful and steal from real creators. Please don’t treat it like just a shitpost. I’m trying my best to not come off as rude because of this, and I apologize if I am, but just please be aware and take this more seriously.

I love silly weevils just as much as the next guy, but please be more aware! Thank you.

Im sorry if have upset anyone by posting the AI submission. I have been very stressed lately and have a lot going on in my life so honestly just saw the submission and thought since it was just a funny image to me it would be good for a quick weevil of the day.

I have mentioned in the past my stance on AI art and am against using it to replace work by human creatives. When I saw the image I didn’t put any thought into where it came from or what it represented when I should have.

I am very sorry to everybody and will take more care in the future before posting an image that has been submitted and think about where it came from. I also want to apologise for my gaps in posting. As I mentioned before my life has been very busy and stressful lately and it has become increasingly harder to find the time to post daily.

Hopefully I can do better for all of you and for weevils

M x

[sorcerous-caress]

Worldbuilding and human kink? Is it my birthday /lh. This has me googling “halfling sex” and being a little surprise someone has thought about it enough to write a generously large paragraph.

Apparently it’s not uncommon for them to have more casual sex with close neighbors and friends indulging in it together. I genuinely think it would be hilarious for a halfling with a human, elf, drow, orc, dwarf, etc (the more uptight races) friend/neighbor to ‘seduce’ and then being very friendly and kind, but not exclusive or even inherently romantic.

Halflings 🤝 Humans

Being horny on main.

Oh my god imagine a poly relationship that's a human who thinks this is a casual friends with benfits deal, a halfing who thinks everyone here is just friends, and one high elf who acts as if they're robbing a bank whenever they watch the human go down on the halfing.

Add a dragonborn who is sweating over which one of those people is gonna end up as their mate for life, who isn't phased by the sex but it's the romance part that's considered a big taboo in their culture to even date someone for love, so imagine seeing more tha one person?

High elves being sex repressed 🤝 Dragonborns being romance repressed

Also I really love world building AAAAA i wanna invent shit and make shit up and shake it around like a snow globe. I believe elves went to the moon much sooner than humans with just magic, dwarves have found fallen space rocks and meteors and used them to forge their weapons, winged elves or any species who can fly already mapped the world and drew all the know maps before humans even learned how to tame horses.

Also the horses is funny, elves has seen them all their lives but never bothered to tame it because it feels weird yk? Why would they ride on an animal, plus their cousin is a centaur so it feels even more weird.

Then they see the humans coaxing the horses with carrots while holding a saddle behind their back, skip a few years and suddenly the horse population skyrockects as humans steal this one animal to their side.

Imagine being a wood elf and in harmony with all of nature, then glancing over at the human city and feeling very confused on what these weird wolves are and why do the humans call them dogs, also why are they obeying the humans and holy shit that one is wearing bowtie.

Occasionally humans just wander into the forest, spot an animal that seems semi useful then kidnap it back to their city, suddenly their population spikes and they're the new best friends of humanity.

It happened the other way with cats tho, the wood elves remember overhearing two cats talking about the hairless apes wandering around and how one was betting the other that they can get them to share their food by just screaming at them.

Humans probably inspired their cuisine based on halflings' recipes since they didn't add soul consuming spices for fun like elves and didn't sprinkle in literal gem and gold dust like dragonborns.

A human with a Halfling neighbour who comes over every other day to share their stew because "they accidentally made too much and can't possibly finish it all themselves so how about you grab a bowl or two, human?"

One day the human makes a joke about how they're a simp or going to horny jail, whatever modern shitposting meme is trending, and the halfling takes it seriously and offers to sleep with them.

I mean, that is basic neighbourly hospitality to them. Of course they will fuck their friend who is in need, you don't even have to ask twice, come here and lay down and they'll take care of you until satisfied.

Now their trips over to your house are twice as frequent, half to feed you their cooking, other half to sate your lust appetite.