#very perceptive either😕

[maddy-ferguson]

in general, acting like mike is being SO obvious and clockable in being gay/his feelings for will in canon is a little. bizarre for me cause like. maybe for you for those people here who have spent months after vol.2 re-analyzing all his behavior and also we’re an unseen audience who know he’s fictional and thus know it’s narratively significant his expressions are caught in super close-up 4k? otherwise… girly… it’s really not that clear at all. will’s not just in denial and refusing to believe he can have this good thing (though he also is) like… mike has a girlfriend he has professed he loves before + abandoned will/party for in the past? and not only for will, this idea that mike’s queerness is so obvious to everyone around him. I can maybe see a ‘oh yeah… that’s makes some sense’ afterwards by the party, but no one now in the party actively disbelieves that mike is into el? lucas pushes mike towards el in s1 precisely cause it’s never ever occured to him mike wouldn’t like girls. he helps mike in s3 ‘win El back’ cause he fully thinks that’s what mike wants. more broadly on mike’s sexuality, the fact the bullies in hawkins came after will with plaintext homophobia and would’ve done the exact same to mike tells us the degree that mike is not perceived as ‘outwardly gay’ within this society. At most, you can talk about mother’s intuition with Karen encouraging mike to talk to her in season 1? But even then it feels almost like it’s meant as a subtextual double meaning /for an audience/ who recognizes its similarity to a sexuality talk vs. actually being one in-text. I mean, we’re the ones who know El’s upstairs literally tucked away by Mike in his closet. and idk on a personal af level I feel like acting like mike’s soooo clockable diminishes the power and significance of his story for those queer people who struggle for so long because of feeling so invisible, so easy and inviting to delude yourself that it /would/ be ‘easier’ on your future to blend in and continue playing at this role, even taking so long to come to terms with your feelings or sexuality yourself /because/ it was never recognized early in your life and hadn’t had it called for you before you knew it’s true. Having to live with your identity only as this private thing inside your head. the specific hurt that comes with knowing you /do/ belong to a community, but since you’ve been scared to step free of the closet doors, you’re cut off and isolated and so alone, a core part of you has never been acknowledged for who you are. afraid precisely cause you know it WOULD be a shock to others. The bravery to choose anyway to defend against disbelief, that you know YOU more than that person they’ve all believed they’ve known your whole life. and SO fucking brave when mike does, when being recognized and valued exactly as you are becomes worth more than false approvals, brave enough to turn your back on the open gate of validation, refuse your allotted slot to conformity. if only you stay invisible. but you don’t. it’s… real af

ohh wow. i agree with everything you said. like you said, it's really not just taking something that is undeniably will's and giving it to mike, it's also taking something from mike, because his is also a very real experience that comes with its own set of challenges, their experiences are so so different, deliberately so.

and i know why people do it, reversing the roles is fun sometimes, but it's not fun to me when it goes against canon by taking away experiences that are so important to who the characters are.

you don't have to get why everyone on the show clocks will as gay, you don't need to see it yourself, you just have to accept that they do! there's really no use in fighting it, especially not when it's something that's so important to his character. and same with mike, even though acting like the guy who's been romantically involved with a girl for most of the show is soooo obviously queer is just...nonsensical. it's not obvious that he's queer and in love with will, that's the whole point! it's so frustrating to see people act like it's not, even when it's just for a joke. will really isn't oblivious, the guy he's in love with literally has a girlfriend? and is frankly acting like he's obsessed with her? the vast majority of people watching the show don't think mike is queer and will is supposed to be living this 40-37 years ago. will being visibly queer (both to the audience and to the characters) and mike being the opposite serves a purpose and will isn't blind, there's really just no way he'd know after the events of seasons 3 and 4.

[randomvarious]

Today's mix:

Global Underground 013: Ibiza by Sasha 1999 Progressive House / Progressive Trance

Oh no! I really am not trying to sound like a contrarian with this super popular Global Underground series, folks, but more often than not, I am finding myself underwhelmed and shortchanged by these experiences. Last time I posted about an installment from this series, it was John Digweed's acclaimed Los Angeles set that I wasn't very fond of, and now I'm back to say something similar about his pal Sasha's Ibiza mix from 1999 😕.

Now, a lot of people seem to regard this double-disc as simply one of the greatest commercial DJ mixes that's ever been made, and while the transitions tend to be impeccable, and some of its tracks really fantastic, I think that, overall, it's still a pretty overrated release. I mean, the peaking moments just don't seem to reach that totally sublime pinnacle that you'd expect from a globetrotting legend such as Sasha himself. Maybe these discs hit a lot better when they originally came out in '99, but a little less than a quarter-century later, it seems to me that they're lacking a bit of juice.

Disc 2 is certainly the better of the pair though, which is the progressive trance set. Sasha doesn't really seem interested in raising your heart rate with any enormous and flamboyantly transcendent tunes; he's more after the reserved and technically masterful stuff. And his own "Xpander" provides for a good example of this: a calm, steady, spacious, intricate, and sprawling track. Things do still eventually ramp up a bit in the final leg though, with Frankfurt legend Oliver Lieb's remix of UK duo Aquilia's "Dreamstate," and then John Digweed and Nick Muir's "Heaven Scent/Lifeline" serving as the closer under their Bedrock moniker. But again, since Sasha doesn't seem to be in pursuit of that typically epic climax that most trance mixes would be trying to achieve at this point in their sets, these tunes don't feel like surefire floor-burners. They're great and satisfying tracks on their own, but not hugely showy and surging affairs.

So, all in all, it's not ultimately to the same degree, but like Digweed's Los Angeles mix, I'm afraid that I don't really get this one either. I'm definitely not a fan of the first disc, but the second disc is still good; I just don't understand all the hype that's behind either of them. And as far as trance goes, with this growing handful of Global Underground mixes that I've now listened to, I'd still say that the breakbeat-infused second disc from Nick Warren's Brazil release is still the benchmark to beat. That thing really tears up like no other, I swear.

Listen to CD1 here. Listen to CD2 here.

Highlights:

CD2:

Cass and Slide - "Perception" Sasha - "Xpander" BT - "Mercury and Solace (Dub Mix)" Aquilia - "Dreamstate (LSG Mix)" Junkie XL - "Future in Computer Hell (Part 2)" Bedrock - "Heaven Scent/Lifeline"

[shawnjacksonsbs]

Change the perception of what's little or big.

Change actually saves when it's accepted?!!? 10-28-23

"It's the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen." - John Wooden

~I believe that the significance of a day rests in the hands of those willing to accept its synchronicities, because. . . .. I've been writing it out for years now.~

Lots of pretty big, cool things for me lately in the last month or so.

I turned 48 ( like wtf )

10 years off the dope

10 years I've been writing the entries that keep me here

5 years no smoking

and

Pride Fence just turned a year old.

A lot of these . . .I never imagined I'd ever reach. Some I never wanted to reach if you go back in time far enough.

It's so wild.

We've been planning. (and spending), for the upcoming holiday season. Both of those things didn't used to happen 😕 that way either.

Planning, money for spending on others? I mean . . what?

It's so wild.

"Change my attempt, good intentions

. . .

Crowned, hopeless

The article read, living wasteland

This time, you've tried

All that you can, turning you red

but i will not

Hide you through this

I want you to help" - 10 Years by Wasteland

I'm out of town this weekend, visiting my oldest son, who is trying to get better himself. #grateful

Here with some other family, and being able to share in some Halloween/family festivities and help with . . .from/to our guest reader for this week's story time. I might miss seeing some family sometimes, usually against my will, but there's always other times and different things, planned in advance or not, that keep my heart so very full.

I try so hard to make sure the ones filling my heart are having theirs filled too.

It's so extraordinarily wild.

This is me.

Feel jealous? 😆

It wouldn't matter when I die, my life is where it should be.

The only real regret that I'll carry with me, as of right now, if I did, would be that I couldn't continue to fill the hearts of those that I do.

Share love, share laughter, and just be nice. Don't over-complicate it.

Until next week;

"If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude." - Colin Powell

[alyjojo]

Love Reading 🤤- October 2023 - Scorpio

Singles:

Overall energy: 2 Cups

How you will meet: 6 Wands

How they will treat you: Page of Pentacles rev

Long-term Potential: The Hermit

Oracle: YOLO

KARMIC RELATIONSHIP 🪢

- Resentments & Triggers

- Perception

- Intensity & Letting Go

- Turmoil & Fleeting

This one feels more specific than general, but it’s for someone. You’re pining for this person, probably love this person - 2 Cups - but they’ve moved on 😕 If it’s love at all. It’s possible this was never really anything defined or committed to, but it was a deep connection of some kind. At least - for you it was. A friendship maybe. The two of you may never have even discussed “love”, but you felt it, and the other one followed life wherever that is taking them. When you meet them (again?) this is someone very successful at what they do, they are celebrating a win in their life, probably to do with work, an award, some kind of recognition or opportunity, etc.

They’ve never brought up the topic of romance, they don’t plan to come back around, I don’t even think the two of you talk to each other. Or if you do, that will stop because of whatever else is going on in their life, maybe you like their posts or something. It’s like they see you in a good light, but where you’re standing & what you’re feeling has never even occurred to them. Long term, this won’t become anything more than it is now, The Hermit shows a complete disconnect, and so does The World. They might not even be online either, this person could disappear off the face of the planet, move across the world and start a whole new life. They probably don’t update social media much (or it’s rare) and no one has any idea what they’re up to anymore - they give off that kind of vibe.

Further clarification - If Scorpio speaks up now, can this outcome change? - 4 Cups rev…you should’ve done it a long time ago, but it’s like you’re just now realizing that. It’s not a yay or a nay, it’s a Tower either way. I think this one is too far gone. If it was meant to be, it wouldn’t be that way 🙏

Messages -

Their side:

- LESSON 💯

- I’ve Moved On

Your side:

- You make me feel ALIVE 🥳

- I still think of you.

Signs you may be dealing with:

Virgo, Capricorn & Libra

Couples:

Overall energy: 4 Swords rev

Current: The Tower

Challenge: The Devil

How they feel about you: 5 Swords

How you feel about them: 2 Pentacles

Outcome: 7 Wands

This is an outright battle more than a relationship. At least this month. There could have already been a period of silence between you, one of you tries to heal the connection, and it starts all over again. With things not being addressed, and mean or petty actions being taken, it’s just a cycle of continuous hurt piled on hurt piled on hurt. Like you’re still hurt by the first thing, but we’ve got five more things to add to that now, so that’s cool 😒

There is some other person in your person’s world, I’m not sure if they’re with this person, doesn’t have to be. If you’re broken up, then yes there is someone else, or this could just be someone existing in their environment that pisses you off. They could be making their intentions clear that they want your person. This person is the priority, they are getting your attention, the possessive monster in you is rearing its’ head…and your person could be doing this *just* to get a rise out of you, because fk you - 5 Swords. I do get silence though, I’m not sure how long, and you want to break that cycle after this person has moved onto other things? But is that the whole reason you want this?

The Devil being the challenge can be control, that’s on their side. It can be jealousy, lust, power trips, possessiveness, bad behavior, toxic cycles, a whole range of things that have not been healed because no one is talking. How can they? You have Twin Flame on your side, and The Devil can show a relationship that you feel BOUND to, like you can’t escape it. That would probably be their feelings, because they’re *trying* to do just that. Do they love you, yes. They’re toxic too just so you know, I’m getting this being a shared energy between you.

Their feelings are snide & hurting you to prove a point, like I said. They know what they’re doing. Do they know the full extent of how you’re really feeling, probably not, again there’s no decent communication going on here. Your feelings are going back & forth on what you even want anymore, because you love them, but what do they want? WHO do they want? Is it even you…you’re feeling inadequate to some other person, and that’s a shitty feeling. Hugs to you, you shouldn’t be comparing yourself to anyone ever 🙏 Outcome for mid Nov is you defending yourself because this person didn’t commit to you, didn’t choose you, and should’ve all along. It’s like hello, you’re the natural choice, and what the fk are they proving? Except they like to hurt you? If this is a Twin, it’s not for everyone, the only indicator is that one card, but no matter what it’s time to go. Trigger the awakening by walking away 💯 Not all of you will, I know, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing. If you do “heal” this…is that possible?

Messages -

Their side:

- Yearns for your love 💙

- Controlling

Your side:

- I love our walks together.

- Twin Flame 🔥

Oracles - Inhale the good shit. Exhale the bad shit.

Their side:

SNAKE 🐍

- Competition & Enemy

- The Other Woman

- Look Over Your Shoulder

Your side:

NOT TODAY 😤

- Boundaries & Hurt

- Avoiding Conversation

- Not Dealing

- Still Upset

Signs you may be dealing with:

Scorpio, Leo, Pisces, Capricorn, Aries & Cancer

[meowzfordayz]

love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Author’s Note: my thumbs are not green. 🥀 Gyomei would be disappointed in me... can’t keep a plant to save my life. Actually: if my life were on the line, then prob would survive — my competency isn’t that horrid. Other than that drastic scenario, however... rip any plant placed under my care. 😵 

love language(s) — himejima gyomei

Himejima Gyomei x Reader

Word Count: ~1,800

CW: mild sexual content

Request Fulfilled: hello hello! may i request some gyomei hcs :> like,, what would be his love language/s [giving and receiving] hehe thank you!!

~faqs~

Giving

Hold up

Physical touch

Quality time

Gift giving

Verbal affirmation

What’s the fifth love language again ?? Trying to recall from memory…

AHA!

Acts of service (should be “5.” but tumblr formatting’s picky af)

So I must confess that I haven’t read any KNY manga 😬

Which means my perception of Gyomei is from the miniscule amount of screentime he got in s2 plus any fanfics about him that I’ve read

That being said, I feel like Gyomei gravitates toward giving Quality Time and Verbal Affirmation

Altho the softie in me *technically* imagines all the Hashira as cuddle bugs (albeit some more highkey than others) I am not touch starved tyvm Okay maybe just a little 😕

Gyomei just strikes me as particularly simple

Not like, simple in the noggin 😶

Just

Simply spending time together

And constantly announcing how splendid you are

He’s not into flashy gimmicks *cough* Tengen *cough*

I see him as someone who deeply values his alone time

Mind you, being alone on missions is different from having undisturbed time to oneself, ya feel?

Not to mention: it’s gotta be, to some degree, mentally exhausting to be moved to tears all the time — even when the tears are happy ones

So like, this man needs loads of time to decompress

And prob seeks out lower stim environments when socializing 

At the very least, he’s gotta suffer from dry eyes

Have you ever cried so much that your eyes hurt?

Now imagining crying a lot

I presume eye drops exist in Demon Slayer?

If Shinobu can regrow Zenitsu’s limbs, then eye drops must be canon 😤 

Welp, Gyomei definitely has a vial of dry-eyes-be-gone on him 24/7

I’m getting sidetracked

Himejima Gyomei’s the guy who’d rather read a book in bed with a mug of herbal tea vs go out with the other Hashira for drinks 

And by other Hashira I’m thinking mostly Kyojuro, Sanemi, and Tengen (Mitsuri only goes when Shinobu does, and vice versa)

Initially, you’d be hesitant to encroach on his alone time

He’d never exactly uninvite you, but he didn’t necessarily invite you either

Until one day when you semi jokingly remark while returning from a joint mission, “Gyomei-san, are we even romantically involved? We hardly do anything together. Unless you count fighting demons?”

And suddenly, he’s inviting you to practically everything he used to do alone

Book in bed with a mug of herbal tea? He wants you there ✅ Begins stock piling your favorites

Morning meditation? Invitation sent ✅ Whether or not you wake up in time to join him is entirely up to you 😴

Watering his plants? ✅ Begs you to come along, which, you almost regret bc he has sooo many plants and it’s stiflingly humid in his greenhouse yes this man has a private greenhouse, author makes the rules and he takes foreeevvverrr to water them bc, “They each need 30 seconds of water, 3 times. Okay, [y/n]-san?” buuut he’s a cutie 🌻 so mostly you just feel honored that he trusts you to care for his plants

As much as he enjoys being deployed on missions with you, he does not consider fighting demons to be quality time 🙄

You lowkey wrecked him asking if y’all were “even romantically involved” bc ?? 😭 He adores you ?? 💖 Cherishes you ?? 💗 Loves you ?? 💝

You’d literally sent him in a tizzy

“What if [y/n]-san breaks up with me?” Oh wait 😐 They don’t even know whether we’re together

Dw, he wasn’t frustrated by you

Mostly just distraught at his own lack of recognition that you needed ✨attention✨

P.S. The morning after your fateful remark, you’d awoken to a letter slipped under your front doorstep inviting you most affectionately and hopefully to join Gyomei for an evening stroll 💌

Srsly tho

He has the time to water a bajillion plants on the daily

—Logistical plothole here what with frequently being away on missions: I’m aware 🙃

—But that’s what hiring gardeners is for 🤗

But the most important plant was wilting before his very own eyes and he didn’t fricking notice ?!?!

You’re his prettiest-flower-that-isn’t-a-flower

Ofc, he doesn’t douse you with water

He douses you with thoughtful compliments

Exhibit A: “The color of your haori truly highlights the gentleness of your eyes.”

Exhibit B: “Your fingers are so elegant plucking the dead leaves from my hostas. Thank you for pruning them with me.”

Exhibit C: “Your laughter is a butterfly’s wing against my cheek — so light and tender, and capable of granting me endless joy.”

He douses you with encouragement and pride

Exhibit A: “Thank you for cooking dinner [y/n]-san. You’re doing a wonderful job! I’m sure you won’t overcook the rice this time.” And if you do, then he’ll try his best to only cry a little, just for you

Exhibit B: “I’m so impressed you beheaded that demon before me, [y/n]-san! May I watch you train sometime? It’s been a while since we sparred, and I believe I could learn a thing or two from you.”

—He really didn’t let you have it

—No, really 😌

—It was all you baybee 🥳

—Okay so he might have accidentally absolutely unintentionally moved a tad slower than you so you could reach it first

Exhibit C: “I know it hurts, [y/n]-san, but I know you can handle it.” this will remain appropriate, unfortunately “A wayward sprain could never restrain your resilience and spirit.”

—He still cries as you hobble around adorably, then cries bc he just wants you to okay, and cries some more bc he gets to scoop you into his arms and tuck you into his bed — the injured must rest!

And most annoyingly significantly, he douses you in nonstop-when will it stop-plsmakeitstop-he really doesn’t have to continue feeling so guilty about it reassurance of your romantic involvation I don’t think “involvation” is a real word oops

Exhibit A; Random Day | Random Location | Random Time: “Do you know who my romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he smiles widely. You sigh. “You are, [y/n]-san! You are my romantic partner.”

Exhibit B; Random Day | Gyomei’s Greenhouse | Early Afternoon: “Do you know what romantic partners do, [y/n]-san?” he leans down and pecks the top of your head cheerfully. You groan. “They nurture nature together! And [y/n]-san — we nurture nature together!”

Exhibit C; Random Day | Gyomei’s Bed | Nightfall: “Do you know what the worst part about having a romantic partner is, [y/n]-san?” he murmurs softly, bookmarking his page as he angles his body to face yours. You lay your book aside as well, quietly placing your hands over his. “It’s knowing there could never be enough clothes, rope, string, anything, to escape the depth of your devotion to them,” he pauses, struggling to collect himself, “But that is also the best part. You are my partner, [y/n]-san, and I am devoted to you.”

—

Ahhhhh

Gyomei, devoted, to you

His time spent, on you

His words spoken, to you

What a gem 💎🥺

Receiving

Time to give myself emotional whiplash transitioning from that bucket of fluff to another bucket of fluff

—

Imo, the language that screams GIMME the most for Gyomei

… as in, he’s screaming “GIMME” 😂

Is Physical Touch

Except he’s actually suuuper bashful about it

And never screams for it

—That’s his job

—To make you scream for it 😳

—That was an attempt at what I’d hoped would be a hilarious innuendo

—Guess not ☹️

It took you a while to figure him out

He doesn’t exactly shy from your touch

More like melts into it ☺️

But the only physical touch he’s naturally comfortable asking for is… 🥁🥁🥁

Holding hands 🤝

Beyond holding hands, Gyomei relies on you to lead the way

Creating a sort of catch 22, because you try your best to be cognizant and respectful of his upbringing

Which, his upbringing ≠ Physical Touch

Usually, you initiate touch in bed

Not like that

Yeesh

I already told you this will remain appropriate, unfortunately 👀

You initiate touch in bed, away from curious eyes, immersed in the soothing glow of cerulean and lavender lanterns — hand painted by you and Gyomei

Toasty, sweet aromas of sobacha and kuromamecha tea cling to his olive green kakebuton, a gift from you to him  “just because”

As the moon peers above the horizon, you’re tentative, knee leaning lightly into his thigh, your arm barely skimming his, the turning of pages floating pleasantly between you

Sitting in his bed, beside him, because he wants you there, is achingly meaningful

You move like honey as the moon ascends, a brush of your elbow against his ribcage here, a tap of your fingertip on his hip there

Not teasing, not seducing — easing him into your closeness

The pressure of your knee leaning on his thigh increases and increases, until he gently murmurs, “I’d feel very happy if our legs were fully touching.”

When the moon reaches and rests at its highest point, you press your mouth delicately to his shoulder

Gyomei’s focus wavers, book falling from his grip to his lap, a low, contented moan vibrating in his throat

“Another. Please. [y/n]-san. Touch…”

“Touch, Gyomei-san?” you smile tenderly

“Mm…” he doesn’t elaborate

Doesn’t have to

You have him figured out

“How does this feel?” your fingernails scratch faintly along his jawline Mm

“And this?” you playfully flick his ear Mm

“You’re warm, Gyomei-san,” your body adjusts itself Mm

Taut as you stretch to kiss the corner of his eye

Familiar as you exhale slowly, breath leaving a quiet trail of goosebumps from his cheek to his neck to the edge of his collarbone; your fingers wrap reassuringly around the strength of his wrist, lifting his palm to your nose; you nuzzle cutely, nipping at his callouses; then, you grip his hand with both of yours, his fingers straightening as you peep at him through them

“May I?” you whisper

Mm

You release his hand, sleepily settling further into bed, rolling onto your side

So casually, so safely, you tuck yourself into his sitting form, hugging his nearest forearm to your chest as you pull your knees up

—This is how you fall asleep, clinging to Gyomei

His heart hums, a constant, mellow bliss

As he picks up his book, and continues to read

…

Before you even ask-

Yes, he fumbles his book every so often

It’s hard to read with just one hand holding (the book) AND turning (the pages)