#virtualjournal

[paperw0rmz]

[shethe-aspentree]

just a girl. waiting for the perfect man

to come eat me out to Led Zeppelin's I can't quit you baby

Wedding Wednesday:

Ziad Nakad Fall 2017 Couture

[sumophobia]

02 July 23

It's Sunday and I just finished watching lily chou chou. It's a cool movie and I just ate jelly beans. They are my favourite. I tailored a few of my jeans and then I'm gonna watch the girl with the dragon tattoo.

#VirtualJOURNAL

[dailydoseofsammyy]

It’s roughly 7:43 am & I haven’t got one bit of sleep, for some odd reason I’m just wired. I slowly feel myself crashing.. it was that energy drink @ 3am, why @ 3am? idk.. that’s the impulsive side of me. 🥱

I noticed how much weight I’ve been putting on & honestly, I’m tired of being “morbidly obese”. It’s time I start taking care of myself before I can’t anymore, life is too short & I got way too many goals to reach before I turn 30. I got 10 years to change my mindset, my diet, & my life. I will be a WAY BETTER less toxic, more uplifting & motivating environment filled w/ genuine, supportive people. I will be healed of all my childhood trauma, & set free of any “barriers” I’ve instilled in myself. Nothing & nobody can hold me back from becoming the greatest version of myself, it’s all within my control & I no longer wanna be like this, I deserve happiness & stability. There’s things I have to deal with myself, there’s a lot that I owe to myself.

- I’m beyond blessed & grateful to be alive & well. Things aren’t perfect & neither are people, & that’s okay. If everything was perfect, things would’ve been completely different. Life in general would’ve been different if there was a such thing as ‘perfect humans ‘. You know some people don’t give a fck bout nothing, they walk around soulless.. those that people you need to look out for.

DAY 01 of virtual journaling. 🥱

[samisaysblog]

Alone Together?

I love my husband. He is the most phenomenal human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. I am truly lucky to be married to him and have this time together. 

Also, I hate it.

I have the honor of being married to what is now being called to an “Everyday Hero.” With that comes the great displeasure of my husband living in a constant state of fear because I have asthma. So now, my wonderful, loving, amazing husband is exposed to COVID-19 everyday, and because of that... he won’t touch me. 

I thrive on affection. I need the kisses, hugs, cuddles. Those are the actions that make me feel loved. For days, I have been upset by that fact believing in small moments that he was separating himself from me because he loved me less. It would wash over me in heavy, aching waves because the pain of not touching him was consuming. All to find out, he’s not touching me, BECAUSE he loves me. He’s disinfecting our home, showering multiple times a day, and washing everything because he loves me. He’s taking all of these measures to protect me when all I want is to be held by my husband. I understand it, but I don’t have to like it. #alonetogether is starting to feel a lot like #aloneforever. I can’t wait for this to be over.   

[shethe-aspentree]

why does growing also mean excruciating pain and disorientation at change after change after change a f te r c h a n g e a f t e r c h a n g e

why am i so sensitive?

kofi

[spicymangomargarita]

July 1st 2022

Since I still don't have a journal, I'll just write it here,

3 things i'm grateful for today, Not arranged:

1. I get to do a 1hr overtime at work, it helped me to organize my documents, and expand my strategies.

2. A customer ordered at my online shop today even though i'm not an active seller anymore. She ordered shoes.

3. I get to talked to a previous workmate and asked her where she bought her aquarium and fish, I told her I'd dropped by to buy one tomorrow and she told me that her day off would be on Sunday, I didn't request her to come with me but she's the one who initiated that I'll just go there on Sunday so she can come with me.

[lexoneent-blog]

I was bored and decided to edit this photo. #photographymagazine #photos #virtualjournal #visualarts #digitalartist #digitalmedia #latenightcreations #MarilynMonroe #marilynmonroe #alateflashbackfridayedit

[decadententhusiastpuppy]

June 1st 2021

This is my virtual journal. Let’s see how long I can keep this up lol. I just wanna reflect on my day and find a shot in dealing with my anxiety. Last night, I cried of over a minor inconvenience that lasted for 15 mins. In the freaking bathroom. I’m always shy when people see my cry, why? I don’t prefer being pitied. I curdle upon this facade I put; a tough, unbreakable woman. Well, I used to be.. until life gets along the way. LOL. Anyways the only good thing about this day is the rain.... bow

[samisaysblog]

Hey, I’m Sam...

and I’m just here to introduce myself. 

You dear reader have just entered my.. virtual diary of sorts. Nothing about this is organized, curated, or well researched. In truth, I needed a dump space, to clear my head, maybe leave my own little mark on the world.. and maybe what I’m thinking or have to say will resonate with you.

[samisaysblog]

Slowing Down.

Today was long. Hours in my home are starting to feel like days. I have organized everything their is to organize, I have cleaned every surface, and washed every dish. There is no laundry, and even though I still work tomorrow,  my schedule is light. Normally, I have a very full life as a nanny and I try  to balance the kids schedule with tons of outings and activities. However, as we’re all well aware, life is currently on hold. I can’t explain to toddlers why we can’t “go car.”  

For the first time in I can’t remember how long, everything is done. Life has slowed down. No brunch, no Sunday errands, no making sure I have everything ready for the next day... even Netflix and social media are becoming repetitive. So today, I sat outside with my vape and just was. No phone, no laptop, no need for distraction. I just was. I let the music of passing cars and a nearby lawnmower lull me to a simpler place. I watched my clouds bellow around me, curling but not landing in any particular place and I wondered if this is what life will look like now? It’s beginning to really dawn on me just how much emphasis we put on interaction, being alone together lost in our phones in the same room. Instant gratification is no longer an option; we now have to learn to pacify ourselves, but can we? Most of us have become so dependent on our screens and the validation of keyboard warriors that agree with our carefully curated opinions. Lives that we share with others so we don’t feel so alone. But being alone really isn’t that bad? I couldn’t tell you before today when I put my phone down last or didn’t feel the need to check for the blinking light in it’s upper left corner.. it was.. cathartic, honestly. I wasn’t worried about comments, likes, or taking the perfect picture for the Gram. 

This virus is awful and its been really hard on the world, but I am looking forward to getting to know myself fully in this time. To finding connection outside my screen. To feeling the sun on my face and the grass between my toes but not feeling the need to share it with the world. I hope for meaningful conversation to return and for friendships to deepen. I really hope that when all this is over we as a society can just.. slow down.