#innerthoughts

[jaggedjawjosh]

In each moment, I find hope; with mindful steps, I nurture it, and through unwavering determination, I turn dreams into reality.

[rageinreverie]

before the wedding, they give advice

talk about everything

never go to bed angry

marriage is hard work

like folded notes pressed into your palm,

whispered warnings wrapped in bows.

you nod, you smile,

you think you understand.

but understanding comes later.

in the quiet hum of morning breath,

in the way their fingers trace the edge of your worry

without needing to ask.

it comes in the nights when marriage feels like work,

when the weight of the world

settles heavy on the bed between you.

when silence feels safer than speaking.

they don’t tell you that intimacy

isn’t just bodies tangled in sheets,

it’s the unlocked door of your mind,

the secret thoughts you never meant to say aloud,

laid bare in the dim glow of trust.

they don’t tell you that some days,

love is muscle memory,

a thing you do because you promised to,

because even in the dark,

you reach for them,

and they reach back.

and in that reaching,

you remember,

this is what lucky feels like

-rage in reverie

[marksmusingsuk]

One Week In: A New Perspective

It's been a week since I truly committed to writing, and already, I can feel something shifting inside me. Putting my thoughts into words has forced me to slow down and reflect in a way I never have before. It's as if I'm seeing life through a different lens—one that sharpens the details I used to blur out in the chaos of everyday life.

Writing has made me realise how much I used to take people at face value. I never really stopped to consider their struggles, their quiet victories, or the battles they fight behind closed doors. Now, I find myself looking deeper, listening more, and understanding that everyone has a story to tell. It’s easy to judge or make assumptions, but when you start to see people as complex, layered beings, compassion becomes second nature, although this will not take my focus away from putting myself first. 

I’ve also started to notice changes within myself. The emotions I used to bottle up now have an outlet. Instead of letting frustration or sadness weigh me down, I pour it onto the page, and in doing so, I feel lighter, freer. Writing has given me a way to process my feelings rather than bury them. It’s a release, but also a tool—a way to understand myself better, to make sense of my experiences and turn them into something meaningful.

My motivation is building, slowly but surely. The more I write, the more I want to do something meaningful—not just for myself, but for my two children, my close friends, and the people who matter most. I don’t want life to just happen to us; I want to take control, to shape a better future, to create something that leaves a lasting impact. Whether that means supporting my friends in their own journeys, showing my children the power of resilience, or pushing myself towards new opportunities, I know I need to act.

I’m also becoming more aware of the little things—the moments of joy, the signs of progress, the way small acts of kindness can have such a huge effect. Before, I might have overlooked these things, too focused on what was going wrong or what I didn’t yet have. But now, I’m seeing that every positive step, no matter how small, matters.

I don’t have all the answers yet, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m on the right path. Writing has opened my eyes, and now, I just need to keep moving forward. This is only the beginning, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.

[fortunatereads]

Of who to blame?

What of the world do we blame for simply existing?

Our flaws, our fears, the faults we bear,

the ache of loss, the weight of care.

Do we scorn the heart for beating bold,

for wanting warmth, for growing old?

Or shame the soul for dreams that stray,

for doubts that rise, for nights turned gray?

These are the truths we carry within,

the fragile places we begin.

Let us not curse what makes us whole—

our tender faults, our restless soul.

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

It's difficult to explain, so I stay quiet.

[icynderbolt]

Title: Re:vealed

Theme: How art reveals the desires, emotions, vulnerabilities and personality of an individual.

My piece delves into the different stages of an artist's life (showcasing the development of both their interests and character via the evolution of their artistic expression) as well as the varying emotions and secrets caught in external environments. The theme of this chapbook revolves around displaying hidden motifs.

The title “Re:velead” stands as a play on words. When sounded out, “revealed” is symbolic of the truth behind an individual’s personality being brought out to the public. The separation of “veal” translates to the inner meat -the vulnerabilities of oneself- being shown off.

Art displays the concealed. Art unveils the hidden.

In this work, my writing will be the complete print-out of my thoughts. The never-ending rants, the long run-on sentences and the continuous references to pop culture I find hilarious. They are me and my expression; inner meat ripped out and open for you to taste, take apart, study and understand. Bon Appetit to my re:vealed artistry.

[thecpdiary]

Carrying Others' Karma

As I continue to blog about the things that bring understanding and may resonate, I hope they bring understanding and can resonate with you too. Karma isn’t always easy to understand.

When we talk about 'living other people's karma,' we're referring to the idea that individuals can be influenced or impacted by the actions of others, either positively or negatively. Honestly, we're all living and carrying others' karma, collectively and personally in one way or another.

Brexit

The economic downturn in Britain, can be seen as a consequence of the uncertainty surrounding Brexit and its impact on trade, investment and financial markets. Similarly, the freedom of movement loss, is a direct result of the decision to leave the EU's single market and customs union.

The Pandemic

The pandemic is another situation where people are collectively living others' karma. 4-years in and the politicians' decision to lift all precautionary measures is leaving the vulnerable even more exposed and even more isolated. Although the vaccine helps, with it you can still catch and spread the virus. The physical protections should still be in place to protect the vulnerable.

Here are some more perspectives on karma:

Interconnectedness

Some belief systems emphasise the interconnectedness of all living beings, where the actions of one person can have a ripple effect, influencing others in a web of interconnected relationships. This leads to the idea that we are all part of a collective karma, and our actions contribute to the state of the world.

Family and Community Dynamics

The actions of family members or community members can shape an individual's values, beliefs, and behaviours. Growing up in a loving and caring family or community can instil positive values and promote healthy behaviours. Being exposed to negative influences or engaging in harmful behaviours within the family or community, can lead to the adoption of negative or unhealthy habits.

Additionally, it can also directly affect the wellbeing and development of an individual. Positive actions, such as support and encouragement, can create a nurturing environment that promotes emotional growth and success. Negative actions, such as abuse or neglect, can have long-lasting harmful effects on an individual's physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.

Empathy and Compassion

Understanding and acknowledging that others may be experiencing the consequences of their actions can foster empathy and compassion, but it can also foster judgment. On the other hand, it can also encourage individuals to approach others with understanding, recognising that everyone is on their own karmic journey and dealing with the consequences of their past actions.

We all have a collective responsibility

The concept of living other people's karma needs to highlight the importance of collective responsibility. In society, individuals need to be responsible for their own actions, although from what we're seeing innocent people are getting caught in the consequences of collective actions, such as political decisions, environmental policies and societal norms. It is important to be mindful of the impact on the collective karma of communities and of society as a whole.

Personal Accountability

While external factors influence our lives, philosophical traditions also emphasise personal responsibility and the idea that individuals have the power to shape their own destiny through their actions and choices.

While many view karma as a cosmic justice system, others may see it as a guideline for ethical living. The idea of living other people's karma invites contemplation on the interconnected nature of human existence and the serious impact our actions have on others and ourselves.

While it may be tempting to assign blame or responsibility to certain individuals or groups, understanding karma encourages us to view these events as reflections of collective choices and actions. The bottom line is that we are all interconnected and the repercussions of our collective decisions affect us all.

For more inspirational, lifestyle blogs, please check out my site https://www.thecpdiary.com

[jaggedjawjosh]

I am a vessel of kindness, pouring love into the world and watching the ripples it creates.

[rageinreverie]

i see her.

i see the way she grips the edges of herself,

trying not to slip away.

i tell her,

she is not small,

not crazy,

not his to destroy.

she is a storm waiting to break.

-rage in reverie

[palettemuse]

Hello again, Tumblr.

It’s been years since high school, and somehow, you’ve always been here. Even in my silence—days, weeks, months, even years—you waited. And maybe that’s why I keep coming back. You’ve held pieces of me I’ve forgotten, fragments I didn’t know I was preserving. Memories tucked between pixelated pages, even when the words weren’t always fully me.

I don’t regret sharing my thoughts here—my journals, my little nothings. They mattered. They still do.

So today, I return. Maybe slowly, maybe not every day, but I’ll try to keep this space alive. Like a digital diary. A quiet room where I can speak freely. Threads may be the new thing now (and I’ve wandered there, I admit), but nothing feels quite like home the way this place does.

No one really knows me here. And I like that.

It's like writing letters to the universe and knowing it listens—softly, without interruption.

I’m back.

Let’s begin again. 🩷

[gloryandgore777]

vent sesh

I'm sick of EVERYTHING. It's as if my old self is actually dead. The hollow parts of me have dried up like old leaves.

Now, I bathe in the sun; I soak up the rays, I read my book, I take my vitamins. I eat when I'm hungry. Tonight, it's steak.

I no longer give my energy in desperate ways. I snap, I sting, I get sick of stupid questions. The best part is, that's okay.

My rigidness is waning... my pure intentions are clear.

This life is to be lived, to be laughed, not to be stared at and judged. Not to be labeled as "good" or "bad." This life just is.

I can feel my spirit growing wiser, my soul seeking true fulfillment.

It's close.

Community, is close. Right around the corner.

Peace is already there, waiting for you to acknowledge it. Waiting for you to say, actually, It's okay.

Actually, I have time.

Actually, we can change.

It's easy to feel overwhelmed, it's easy to feel hopeless, to feel misunderstood. It's easy to be mean, to blame others.

Why focus on that when you have peace knocking at your front door, waiting to be invited in?

[spanta2ra]

in my small bubble

In my small bubble, The light broke, darkness Swallowed the window whole.

The neighbor shouted: "Enough with this midnight cry!" The dogs howled too.

In the cold street, A scream pierced the air: "Was that… a cake?"

A heart crushed, Or maybe a phone dropped Into the dark river.

A star died, Or maybe it was a firecracker, Fading in smoke.

My pulse pounded, My stomach screamed out: “Air’s been sucked in!”

My body shivered, The blanket, like an island, Warm and sleepy.

My eyes, tired and Like an old, heavy spider Stuck to the ceiling.

In the dark hollow, Like the last drop of tea, I slowly faded.

A rat in a hole, Its meaningless song Spinning round.

Morning arrived, Like a ruthless bell Stealing sleep away.

[kissly-ze]

Letter #1

March 19, 2025

1:08 am

A huge part of why it's taken me so long to write the letters I so desperately need written out, is the pressure of significance.

#1. Number One. A huge step. The first step.

But what if the first doesn't matter? Or rather, the first does not compare to the hundreds that come after. I think it's more about the courage and will to write whenever the need to arises.

That being said, here goes.

To Luanne.

You've always been, and I fear always will be, selfish. You asked us once, if we could describe you in one word what word would it be. A strange crowd to begin with. A best friend who was at her wit's end with you. Her childhood friend who later turns out to be not who you think he was. A best friend who later, as most male-female friendships do, ends up just another drop in the bucket in the life that is a girl. I don't remember if there was more people.

My initial thought: SELFISH. Selfish in big, bold, fluorescent-lighted letters that dance and flicker to draw even more attention.

I felt bad. I didn't even say anything at first. I waited as the table chuckled lightly before starting to share thoughts on your character. Someone said "Main-Character Syndrome", a term you took and RAN with later. Everyone seemed to agree, even me, though I knew you didn't take that for what it is (selfish) but rather for what you thought it aught to mean with yourself in context (important).

Then someone else said "selfish." And I JUMPED. I remember laughing and saying "Oh my god, yes! But I didn't want it to come out mean." The truth is, it would have (and did) come out mean because selfish is mean and selfish is bad and it is what you are and I had no means to sugarcoat it as everyone so often does for you.

You put on the facade of pretending to be mature enough to not explode at everyone and demand to know why we would dare to think that of you. Instead, you sat with your hands in your lap, nodding and blinking deeply to show that you were listening, understanding, and processing as any adult would. But I know you. Oh, I knew you all too well. You were fuming. How dare we say that and how DARE we all agree??

I know. I know how it sounds. Damn Ze, it's sounds like you might be projecting a bit. Maybe jealous? Resentful? That's a big insight you've came up with over one questions and light-hearted responses from a safe group of friends.

The thing is, for me, it wasn't a safe group of friends. It was me forced to put on a show for the sake of KEEPING THE PEACE. I was so tired of constantly faking our friendship. But, it was definitely better than if I blew up our lives. I mean, can you imagine? I tell you i'm done, that I don't want to be your friend anymore because frankly, it's EXHAUSTING being your friend, specifically your friend. Imagine me basically rubbing it in your face that your ex was right, you are far too much for any one person to handle. Imagine me dropping you like nothing and then what, expecting you to be cordial? to play nice? In front of our scores of mutual friends? And then what do you tell them? Oh yeah, Ze and I aren't friends anymore because she said she 'just can't do it anymore' and I don't know what that means because i've been her loyal friend for such a long time. She just dropped me out of nowhere for no reason, i think it's actually more personal. Maybe she's going through it, you know she's always in these moods and it's hard to keep up with and I think she dabbles in some darker habits too so i bet it actually has nothing to do with me and all to do with her. And what do I tell them? Oh yeah, Luanne and I aren't friends anymore because I decided to be a raging bitch who drops her long-time friends over no particular reason besides I just don't want to. What about our closer friends? Do we share custody? Do we force them to chose a "side"? Do we put our differences aside and continue to hang out all together and be nice and try our best? What's the difference between that and now? Besides that now, I alone bear that weight. What else is new.

In the end, we told you that sometimes, you don't really listen to those around you and end up choosing whatever benefits you the most, regardless of everyone else's thoughts and feelings. We were nice, I didn't make any jabs, I didn't prolong any one comment or anything. You took what we said, heard us out, and then we moved on.

[shethe-aspentree]

why does growing also mean excruciating pain and disorientation at change after change after change a f te r c h a n g e a f t e r c h a n g e

why am i so sensitive?

kofi

[23september2000]

ever since I decided to download tumblr the other day, I’ve been completely obsessed with it. the last time I used it, I was 14… back then, I spent all my time obsessing over making my blog look perfect. now my old obsession is back! I’ve spent the entire day customizing my theme and trying to make it cuter., so this whole experience feels ridiculously nostalgic, lol.I can’t remember my old tumblr url, but I’m dying to know what music I had on there and what my blog looked like. =( thankfully, I have a brand new one now, and tweaking every little detail is so satisfying. everything just feels so therapeutic. It feels like I’m 14 again. Another thing I still do: I play club penguin sometimes.. :v Every time I log in, I feel like I’m 9 years old again, and life is just simple. I’m literally just a penguin =D

also, I told all my friends they need to download tumblr again. I really hope they give it a chance because I want them to experience this weird sense of peace too. I wonder if they’ll feel the same way? Maybe—just maybe—We can be as cool as when we were 14 and just vibing. =]

I can already tell I’m starting to ignore studying again, hehe =D

Here’s a song I used to be obsessed with back then, enjoy it !!! <3

[echoesinshadows069]

You come to this shh looking for a soul mate You just wanna get in some legs like oh-lay Lied to yourself, keep saying that you so great When you come up, you're not real, that's a pump fake

I see the difference in you I see the lying in you Let me express I see the pain in inside I feel the crying you Let it digest Truths out when you drink Flows making you sink What's a chain reaction With the missing link

Maybe you should think Let the brain work Oh, you wanna drink then take off your shirt Don't wanna be here, man I don't wanna be here This might be for you man, but for me it's quite weird