#volume 3 came in the mail yesterday!!!!

[yumemiruuuu]

Wei Wuxian: I really wish there was something between us again…

Jiang Cheng: Me too.

Wei Wuxian: (in actual disbelief) Really??

Jiang Cheng: (scoffing) Yeah.

Jiang Cheng: A wall.

Jiang Cheng: (proceeds to slam door in WWX’s face)

[kitsune528]

Everytime I see the Young Conductor in any capacity in Volumes 2 and 3 I wanna stretch and squish him like he's blorbo themed therapy dough

[whatdoesshedotothem]

x Sunday 8 December 1833

10 ¼

11 10

incurred a cross thro’ my drawers think[ing] of π- (but not affectionately) between nine and ten  - heavy rain and high wind all night - to prevent our rolling about in the night the captain had run us up within the wooden breakwater - the wind was so high we broke from one moorings  and at midnight rain foul of the pier and broke our bowsprit - when I went on deck at 10 ¼ am found the people busy (8 hours) making a new of an old one - schooner-bowsprit the Captain had bought on shore - had a little bread and butter - rain sent me down about 11 ¼ into the captain’s cabin where finding breakfast things still on the table I had a cup of tea and ate a roll and made a good breakfast - sat reading in the 1 large volume 8vo. edition of all Lord Byron’s works the account of his life and his British bards and Scotch reviewers till about 12 ¾ - still rain fair a little after one and then again n deck - see little of the town from the harbour - the William Jolliffe came into harbour - she left Hamburg yesterday week - had been within 50 miles of England and obliged to return in consequence of the bad weather - had landed and left her pas at Heligoland (unsafe in the roads there) and came here for safety and to take in the remainder of her coals (wants about 20 tons - 60 tons and upwards their quantity - which will last about 10 days? take provisions for a fortnight) - the Jolliffe and our vessel about near 400 tons burden - our captain says if he has any of the Jolliffe’s passions to take he shall make them pay over again - the Superb left Hamburg last Wednesday week and is in the Texel - if my letters are sent in with our mail-bags, they (the letters) will be charged foreign postage - It was the Sir Edward Bankes streamer left Hamburg on Wednesday - the captain supposes her at Heligoland - the harbour there not safe - the island of no use of us - a pity we have not Cuxhaven which we could make quite safe - tho’  vessels have been lost here as it is - the Hamburghers will do nothing for fear of hurting Hamburg - on deck from a little after 1 to 2 and then dinner till about 3 - then on deck again - at 3 40 took Thomas and went with the captain on shore - landed in 5 minutes - walked about the North-Holland-like, little gable-ended town, hid behind a sort of breast-work so that not  much of the town is seen from the water - a good looking Inn with good public room and billed table in it for the sea - captains and people near to the water a little beyond the round brick tower light-house which stands on a sort of dike or embankment sometimes overflowed and ingeniously covered over with straw-matting such as our men at home made for door mats - by this means the mud is held together and one can walk over it comfortably - never saw this sort of thing done anywhere else - from the Inn clean walking along a dike, along a sort of deep long dry dock or canal with a row of houses along the opposite dike and after a little distance a street and along the ft of the dike I walked on - at the end of this dike and dry canal went down into the nice little paved town - walked ½ round the moated brick castle house-like or garrison with a few guns pointed over the breast-work towards the mouth of the river about 30 miles from here - neat little town enough - gardens from the houses down to a sort of canal divided by a nice line-shaded walk from the castle moat - this it was reminded me of North-Holland - but there were no pretty bridges - on one or 2 wooden ones in 2 pieces and drawn back on each

SH:7/ML/E/16/0146

side, so not there passable - a modern good looking towerless brick church with gothic transom windows near the castle - about an hour walking about the town, and about as long walking up and down before the Inn, waiting for the Captain - on board again at 5 ¾ - tea in about 20 minutes in the captain’s cabin at 6 ½ - before and after in my own cool cabin (and to get away from the rest who are much less constrained without me and with Eugenie)  reading up and down in vol. 3 published 1824 ‘the Portfolio comprising the Flowers of Literature the spirit of the magazines the wonders of nature and art - the family physician and domestic guide  - the mechancis oracle’  and writing the above of today till near 9 pm at which hour F45° and wind lower and fair weather - perhaps we may get off tomorrow and then be in London in Wednesday - reading the above magazine till 10 40 - to soften ivory steep it in a decoction of sage, made by boiling sage in strong vinegar. vid. p. 319 - to cure a corn roast a clove of garlic on a live coal or in hot ashes and bind it on the corn on going to bed - this should be repeated 2 or 3 times in the 24 hours - vid. p. 240.

[vodkassassin]

DDD: I've been seeing that trend too of "when is there going to be an update" in the comments. I rather like discussions or people being excited, it's more fun. I'm sorry you had to go through that. In other news! I saw a Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji cameo in the latest update for a webcomic that I read! Seems like the author's a mdzs fan too! (comic's called Raruurien) - Wren

Hi wren!! Thankfully, in the case of the comment I used as the example in my post, the commentor was very accepting of my reply and admitted to not ever really thinking about it that way, and thanked me. They were extremely polite and it ended up being a great interaction all around. I actually feel a little bad about using their comment as my post example, but it really was the perfect example.

I JUST received my special edition of Volume 4 SVSSS in the mail yesterday!! It’s BEAUTIFUL!!! It came with two posters and a Bingqiu / Moshang sided bookmark, four landscape postcards of the novel covers that also had lil bingpups on the back, and a sticker sheet that has chibi LQH and LMY!! They’re adorable and I’m happy <3

[nordleuchten]

"General Washington is so worried ..."

The instance where La Fayette and George Washington napped together under a tree after the Battle of Monmouth is always a favourite - but are we going to talk about the instance where, after many months of unreliable postal service, La Fayette finally had a safe opportunity to write to his wife. He was writing a long letter and took his dear time, to the point where Washington personally came to him to make sure that he would finish the letter in time and would not miss his opportunity.

La Fayette to his wife Adrienne, October 7-10, 1780:

French Original:

Le Gal. Washington a tant de crainte qu'à force de griffonner je ne perde l'occasion de vous ecrire, qu'il vient chés moi pour me presser de finir mes lettres. L'exprès attend depuis hier au quartier general qui est à deux lieues d'ici etje vais pour lui Recommander mon [paquet].

English Translation:

General Washington is so worried that as a result of my scribbling I shall miss the chance to mail this to you, that he comes to my quarters to urge me to finish my letters. The express rider has been waiting since yesterday at headquarters, which is two leagues from here, and I am leaving to deliver my packet to him.

Idzerda Stanley J. et al., editors, Lafayette in the Age of the American Revolution: Selected Letters and Papers, 1776–1790, Volume 3, April 27, 1780–March 29, 1781, Cornell University Press, 1980, p.504-507 and 193-197.

[skgway]

1823 Aug., Wed. 20

8

11 1/2

Soon began on the erotics last night. Her warm, then [e]ncouraging. I said this was not like keeping our promise. She answered, ‘no’ and reached a towel to put under us to keep the bed clean on account of her cousin. I had retired too early for her. ‘Am I too soon for you?’ ‘Yes, rather,’ said she, and I resumed, determined she should have a sufficiently good kiss before I had had one. She said she had and we fell asleep. 

Both awoke at five in the morning and talked till seven. Asked if this was not better than my sleeping in Micklegate. ‘Yes,’ but it was prudence # on her part. She had a feeling she could not describe. Would make any sacrifice rather than have our connection suspected. She seemed very affectionate and fond of me. Said I was her only comfort, she should be miserable without me. 

Lou has got rather out of ∂ [Charles]’s good books she – Lou never got up to breakfast living with her uncle has given her very independent notions – He waited for her – Consulted her in everything – She told C– [Charles] one morning, she got up at the hour that suited her convenience – ∂ [Charles Lawton] has therefore been sadly out of his best humour this summer and π [Mariana] sadly fidgetted –

Told M– [Mariana] that she did not understand one 1/2 my letters, and misunderstood the other – That my aunt said (speaking of the regard between us), it was “much more on one side than the other”, – On my side then hers – Miss Pattison had blushed up to the sears, and told her at Manchester that ∂ [Charles Lawton] complained of her being cold and she wished she would try to be warmer when she returned. π [Mariana] said she and ∂ [Charles Lawton] very well knew the reason of that that she could not seem warm if she did not feel so. 

π [Mariana] once sat next Miss Pattison’s uncle at dinner there and he said of her she looked like one who could love. I agreed, then reverting to ourselves, ‘this is adultery to all intents and purposes.’ ‘No, no,’ said she. ‘Oh yes, π [Mariana]. No casuistry can disguise it.’ ‘Not this then, but the other.’ ‘Well,’ said I, choosing to let the thing turn her own way. ‘I always considered your marriage legal prostitution. We were both wrong. You to do and I to consent to it. And when I think of blaming others, I always remember nothing can at all excuse us but our prior connection.’ 

I did not pursue the subject, nor did π [Mariana] seem to think much of it. The fear of discovery is strong. It rather increases I think. But her conscience seems seared, so long as concealment is secure. She said yesterday of Harriet, if she had never liked Milne I could have made more excuse for her. Thought I to myself, if none but those who were without sin threw the first stone.

Harriet, like the woman taken in adultery, might escape – Told her she needed not fear my conduct letting out our secret. I could deceive anyone. Then told her how completely I had duped Miss Pickford # and that the success of such deep deceit almost smote me, but I had done it all for her, π [Mariana]’s, sake. ‘Why should it smite you? ‘It is deceit that does no one any harm.’ 

I made no reply, but mused how sophistry might reign within the breast where none suspected it. How might not this argument best retched from one deceit to another. Mary, you have passion like the rest, but your caution cheats the world out of it. Scandal and your courage is weak, rather than your principal strong. Yet is it I who write this. 

She’s true to me, yes, but she has not that magnanimity of truth that satisfies a haughty spirit like mine. She is too tamely, worldly, and worldliness is her strength and weakness her foible and her virtue. She loves me, I do believe her, as well as she is capable of loving. Yet her marriage was worldly, her whole conduct is worldly to the farthest verge that craven love can bear. 

How often has it struck me that years ago when once talking to Lou about this marriage and the powerful circumstances that almost compelled it. ‘Well,’ said she, ‘you do not know π [Mariana]. She is worldly and the match was worldly altogether.’ This did indeed strike me at the time but it never struck me as it does at this moment – (Thursday 21 August 3 55/60 p.m. 1823) – 

It now opens upon me as the key of all that all I have never yet been able to comprehend in her character. I have doubted her love, I have doubted her sincerity. How often with an almost bursting heart have I laid aside my papers and my musings because I dared not pursue inconsistencies I could not unravel. I could not deem the dial true, I would not deem it false. The time the manner of her marriage to sink January 1815 in oblivion. Oh how it broke the magic of my faith forever. How, spite of love, it burst the spell that bound my very reason suppliant at her feet. I loathed consent but loathed the easing more. I would have given the yes she sought, tho it had rent my heart into a hundred thousand shivers. It was enough to ask –

It was a coward love that dared not brave the storm; and, in desperate despair, my proud, indignant spirit watched it sculk away – How few the higher feelings we then could have in common! The chivalry of heart was gone – Hope’s brightest hues were brushed away – Yet still one melancholy point of union remained – She was unhappy. So was I –

Love scorned to leave the ruin desolate; and time she has shaded it so sweetly, my heart still lingers in its old abiding place, thoughtless of its broken bowers, save when some sudden guest blows thro’, and scrunching memory is disturbed – But oh! no more “the heart knoweth its own bitterness,” and it is enough – “Je sens mon coeur, et je connais les hommes. Je ne suis fait comme aucun de ceux que j’ai vus; j’ose croire n'être fait comme aucun de ceux qui existent.” Rousseau's Confessions volume and page first.

She loves me. Tho it is neither exactly as I wished, nor as I too fondly persuaded myself. ‘Ere years had taught me to weigh human nature in the balance or unlock the loveliest of bosoms with the key of worldliness. Yes, she loves me. My own feelings shall descend to hers. They have done so in part. How I could have adored her had she been more of that angelic being my fancy formed her. No thought, no word, no look, had wandered then. Surely my every sentiment towards her had had less of earth in it than heaven –

How like “the visions of romantic youth”! I know she might have realized then – Je sens mon coeur – But no more – No more – I seem unable to return to the dry detail of a journal –

At seven an hour before getting up asked her to get out of bed and wash. We both did so. Then got into bed again and had a long quiet good kiss and then a comfortable nap. Got up at eight. I laughed and said we must really both of us get well as soon as we could. We owned she thought I was worse than she was, and said jokingly ‘do you forgive me for it?’ ‘Of course.’ I set her at ease on this point, but yet the characteristic difference between us always strikes me. I am sure I should even shew twice as much as she really feels –

Went downstairs at 8 1/2 – Breakfasted etc. etc. Sat next Mrs Milne. Had been very properly attentive to her. Asked π [Mariana] if she was satisfied etc. etc. Said I would act as she liked but I could not decidedly change my manners to Mrs. M[ilne] unless my real acquaintance with her conduct might be acknowledged. She has been foolish again in corresponding with her cousin, Mr. Dannett. This was the thing Eli [Eliza Belcombe] alluded to when I was last in York –

Took leave, and off from the B– [Belcombe]’s (Dr. B– [Belcombe] had had rather a restless night but was nevertheless no worse). As the minster clock struck 10 found the horses to the mail at the Tavern door, to start at 10 1/4 instead of 10 3/f as I supposed – Asked the coachman to wait a minute or 2, and hurried into Micklegate – Only just time to wish then good by, and say I should be passing thro’ again in a fortnight or 3 weeks to spend a fortnight with M– [Mariana] at Scarbro’ –

Did not see Mrs. Duffin this morning – Miss M– [Marsh] whispered last night, she had had a paralytic affectation about a fortnight ago, and had been almost gone – I perceived no difference in her as I saw her sitting round the table last night – She did not attempt to move, but this being unnecessary, did not strike me – 

Got into the new mail, and drove off from the D– [Duffin]’s door at 10 1/2 – Only 1 gentleman besides myself – Beyond Tadcaster took up a nice decent elderly woman – I never uttered all the way – Wrapt in musing – Thought of π [Mariana] and the three steps business, then about my manners and appearance. Building castles about their improvement, elegance, engagingness, etc. etc. The good society I hope to get into, etc., etc. 

Thought of consulting Mr. Simmons, the surgeon. George Streetman, Chester. π [Mariana] consulted him. He feared some uterary of or belonging to the womb. Determine yet might judge from the effect of Scarbro whether Steph was right in supposing it merely weakness. He had treated her judiciously. She ought to be examined, but would not submit –

At Leeds at 1 – Got out for 1/4 hour and off again (from the Rose & Crown) at 1 20/60 – Beautiful day till we got to the New Dolphin Clayton heights, and from there to the Pine-apple

H–x [Halifax], a smartish, sunshiny shower – Got out at the Pine apple at 3 40/60 – Fair and fine immediately –

Got home at 4 – Went into the stable for a moment – Caradoc had gone on well – Then went into the house, and sat talking to my uncle and aunt till 5 40/60 – Then dressed for dinner – My father and Marian called in the evening, and staid till after 8 – I was absolutely asleep almost all the time –

Came up to bed at 9, at which hour Barometer 1 1/2 degree below changeable Fahrenheit 60º – Put by my things – Read the 1st 13 pages volume 1 Rousseau Confessions –

A bowel complaint. Dawdling to stick the pot up the chimney to prevent smell. Could not manage it. All this hindered and kept me up. E [three dots, times treating venereal complaint] O [three dots, signifying much discharge] A great deal on my linen. Saw it when I washed thoroughly before dinner, first with water then alum lotion –

[in margin] 

#Tuesday morning 26 August 1823 This is very well in its way, but she has more of it than love –

# Did not give the slightest hint of P[ickford]’s real character, nor does π [Mariana] at all suspect the truth. I merely said she was the most learned woman I knew and had therefore more penetration than the world in general – π [Mariana] thought she should feel under restraint before her –

[dailyaudiobible]

01/12/2021 DAB Transcript

Genesis 26:17-27:46, Matthew 9:1-17, Psalms 10:16-18, Proverbs 3:9-10

Today is the 12th day of January welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I'm Brian it is great to be here with you today…today as we continue our journey forward in and through the…the first month of this year, the month of January. And we are…we’re well on our way. And, so, as is our custom day by day step-by-step, we enter into a rhythm that allows us to come around this Global Campfire as a community and hear the Scriptures spoken over us, and give some things to think about and meditate upon and to know that we’re not alone in this endeavor no matter what time you might be listening to Daily Audio Bible no matter what time you click play somebody else in the world is also there. There's never a time when this isn’t…when this isn’t just going out into the world. And, so, that is a beautiful thing to know. We’re not in this together and we’re pushing into this second week approaching in a few days the center of the first month. And we are on a journey and we’re not alone and that is a beautiful thing. So, let's dive in and take that next step. We…we’re reading about Jacob and Esau yesterday and sort of the conniving of a birthright away from the firstborn son Esau that was given to Jacob and…well… we’ll continue that story. Genesis chapter 26 verse 17 through 27 verse 46. And we’re reading from the New Living Translation this week.

Commentary:

Okay. Once again, the book of Proverbs, the voice of wisdom is speaking to us and we can hear these phrases and these stanzas of wisdom and take them to hearty, actually pay close close attention to what's being said and promised, or just kinda let it go by us and “yeah yeah yeah, I kinda know that. I know I should honor the Lord with my wealth. Like I’ve been told that all along.” And yeah, we probably have. But there's more to this story. “Honor the Lord with your wealth and the best part of everything you produce.” In other words, your best…your best goes to God and in exchange he will fill your barns with grain and your vats will overflow with good wine. And we may be like, “well…I don't need a barn of grain.” If you were in the time that these words…that these words are being spoken that would be a promise that you're going to be okay, that your needs will not only be met but you will have a surplus and you will be able to use that surplus wisely to not only care for and preserve your own family, but to care for and preserve others. So what God is essentially telling us, what wisdom is speaking to us is of our utter dependence upon God. What we may be able to accumulate in this life on our own without God, the Bible will tell us over and over things like “that will be moth-eaten, that will be destroyed, that will disappear like a vapor.” But walking with God the most-high, who owns the earth, like created the earth has a claim to the planet as well as the universe and all of its resources. Like we have all these boundary lines for our planets. And God permits all of this is if we have ownership, but this is God's world, He made it, He owns it. So, certainly he can get us the resources that we need if we trust in Him by giving our best first. And again we can just look at wisdom here and the voice of wisdom and we could say, “I don't believe that” and not try, not even…not even make an attempt to see if it's real or we can listen to the voice of wisdom and watch it play out in our lives.

And then we zoom back to where we began today in the book of Genesis and we traveled along with Isaac and him having to move around and find a settled place where he could be with his family. And then we watched the animosity grow between Jacob and Esau. And we are at the point now where Jacob has finagled the birthright and the blessing of the firstborn for himself. And Esau is obviously furious, so furious that he's consoling himself by making plans to kill his brother. And, so, Rebekah, Jacob's mother, wants Jacob to flee back to her family, back to her brother and his name is Laban. And we met Laban. Remember when the servant of Abraham went to find Rebekah and when he put the nose ring and the bracelets on her, and she went home. It was Laban who came to see the servant and make the inquiries. So, Rebekah is telling her son Jacob, “go back to my brother Laban” and that's what he's going to do. And we are also starting to get a small sense of geography. Some places are being named. And again, you know, you read the place names or even the people names in the Bible and it's…there so unfamiliar to the culture that we live in and we just kind of glaze over it all. We don't have a map. We don't know the geography. We don't know where things are. And, so, we just imagine in our minds but we’re beginning to hear of places, places like Beersheba, the well of the oath. That's an important place that actually until this very day still exists, and it will become the southern border of a future nation of Israel - from Dan to Beersheba. So, we’re starting to get a sense that Beersheba’s here in the South. And it is. It's right on…right on the edge of the desert. These places exist. You can see many of the places that we’re gonna visit in the Bible in a resource that we…that we worked on for five years. It's called Promised Land and it’s in the Daily Audio Bible Shop. We’ll send you some…a couple of DVDs but we’ll also give you the digital version of it right on the spot. And basically, what it is is over 70 different locations that are biblical verified archaeological locations that…that major things happen in in the Bible, like Beersheba. That's one of them. And, so, you can see these places, not just in a static kind of one-dimensional photograph, but actually filmed where you can kinda get a sense of the scope and the space all around it. More like a 360 kind of view of what the place looks like today and that the place existed and has stories that have been told for thousands of years from that place. So, there is a resource in the Daily Audio Bible shop that can take this journey even deeper and give you a visual of many of the places that we are reading about and will read about in the Bible. So, check that out.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for all of the different nuances and all of the different complexions, all of the different angles that it comes to us in, whether that be a narrative story or whether that be in spoken wisdom unfiltered into our lives or whether that be in stanzas of adoration and worship in the Psalms. All of the issues of life begin to emerge as we immerse ourselves in the Bible. And, so, we open ourselves and say, Holy Spirit come plant the words in our lives that we might yield the fruit of the Holy Spirit in…in our lives and that it may be visible transformation to those around us we pray. In the name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is home base, it’s the website, it’s where you find what's going on around here.

And, yeah, the Daily Audio Bible Shop, we were just talking about this. This is where you can find resources like the Promised Land films and take your journey as deep as you want to go and as wide as you want to go. But dive in. The Bible is also intriguing and so powerful in our lives if we hadn't noticed that already. The Bible’s been speaking volumes to us right out of the gate and it doesn't stop it just continues to speak all the way through the year. And, so, often it speaks things that we need right when we need them. And that has just so profoundly beautiful to watch, just to watch God work through it in us so that we’re hearing things when we need to hear them and they’re changing us. So, check out the resources in the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage and grateful, humbly grateful for everyone who has clicked that link. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement you can hit the Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top and share from there, or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning DAB family God bless you all. Jeff Scepter, a longtime listener but your wife is a newbie and she just completed I think you said her first year or something like that. I am praying for the wisdom of the Lord to be upon her in the name of Jesus and I’m believing in the name of Jesus that she is going to thrive in this community as you have been. Praise you Jesus. And welcome, welcome, welcome to your wife in the name of Jesus. Hallelujah Lita. Grace filled DeCastro you’re returning to work as a teaching assistant. I am praying for you sister in the name of Jesus for you and those around you. I am praying for the children in the name of Jesus. Hope from the Heartland you first called in to share you know how much you enjoyed doing Instacart and listening to the Christmas party and then your following message was about losing your mom. I am so so sorry. I am praying for the peace of God to be upon you all. I am praying for that comforter to just cover you in His love in the name of Jesus. Airport Missionary you called in sharing your gratitude and how thankful you are in regard to the job that had been prayed for for you and how interesting the experience has been. And I am praying with you sister I am praying for you and I am praying for all those lives that you are touching along the way. Zinab from London God bless you. Welcome, welcome, welcome. I can just say welcome. You know, the DAB community has been amazing in my life and I know it will be for yours and your double DABber. Hooray. Yay! God bless you. Esther from Orlando. I love you all.

Hey DAB family this is Tiffany in New Mexico. I wanted to call in because yesterday I was sick. I’m actually still a little sick but after spending half the morning just laying in bed watching Hallmark movies it suddenly dawned on me that I could be better spending my time getting on the app and going to the Prayer Wall and praying for people. And I know that Brian mentions it quite frequently, but I just wanted to remind you guys that there are so many prayer needs on the Prayer Wall. And it’s…it’s the people that may be afraid to actually call in with a prayer request or some people just need more immediate prayer. So, I just wanted to encourage each of you that if you just have a couple minutes each day to go on to the Prayer Wall and just meet some of these prayer needs because that’s what we are, where a family that prays for one another. So, anyway it blessed my…the rest of my day yesterday being sick in bed and I just thought I might remind you guys that it could also be a blessing for you as well. So, anyway. Love you all. Take care. Bye.

Happy new year Brian and fellow DABbers and I’m so deeply invested in this community that I am now a triple DABber. The saying goes that the third time is a charm and I was definitely charmed by little Ezekiel at DABK. Oh, my word Zeke is a wonder kid I tell you. It warms my heart to hear him read in such pureness and innocence and he is so eager to read the Bible. The interaction with his mom is just adorable. Good job Brian and Jill. God bless you. Okay a big shout out to those who continue to pray for our children and grandchildren, especially Duane who has been so consistent over the years. Know that I pray for your voice too. And Rose, I love your prayers. I offer up a yes and amen for all the prayers that come in for kids and grandkids. Okay, the Christmas party was off the chart. Like Cherry I enjoyed the party with an active imagination sitting by the campfire throwing on the log here and there and partying without even having to practice social distancing. How about that? One last thing before I run out of time. Mike, that was a beautiful statement you made to Brian and I join thoughts with you to continue praying that the Lord will protect him from burnout. When you mentioned that he’s always here for the community I thought of the…the post man, the postman slogan which says rain sleet or snow nothing stops this man of God. And Brian you are very much appreciated and loved. Well, I gotta go running out of time. So, Charm DABber out. Peace on.

Good morning Daily Audio Bible community this is Diane Olive Braun, and I am an encourager, just one of many, many, many, many. So, I so love this community and I’m gathering around the campfire and putting my logs on warming my hands and my heart. Oh, today I listened to the January 7th 2021. O, what can I say? What can I say? Forgiveness. Oh, thank you Brian, thank you Jill, thank you Ezekiel. Oh Ezekiel, breathing in and say Jesus forgives me. Breathe out all this junk. I just…I’m so sorry. I’ve been so touchy, fretful, resentful. I’ve been so offended. When someone offends me, I get so angry. Jesus says take no offense. And Abraham and Sarah, they were so quick to obey. I’ve been slow to obey. I’m gonna delight myself in…

Hello, I’m Metoo and I’m coming from India, a small place named New Bombay. This is the very first time that I’m listening to the Daily Audio Bible and this has been seven days now and I’m listening to Brian and it has been very encouraging. And also, has been guiding me as well. I look forward to complete the…the whole Bible and towards the end of the year and I look forward and believe that there will be a lot of books and the words from God from the Lord that will guide us each day. This has been a really good seven days and I look forward to hearing each and every session of the Daily Audio Bible. Thank you so much. God bless you all for doing such a great job. God bless you all with wisdom and I thank you…

Hi DAB family this is Lisa from Missouri. I’m calling in because two years ago today I started listening to the DAB. I accidentally came across the app, downloaded it and started listening. I caught up for the six days that I missed. Listening to the DAB and listening to Brian and listening to the prayers of the community and the encouragement and the stories that the DAB community has shared has played a huge part in what God has done in my life over the last two years, how God has transformed my heart and transformed me from the inside out. I re-dedicated my heart can’t May…in May of 2019. I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church. I was saved at a young age but because…but I did stray from that for some years and…but God drew me back and I just want to thank Brian. Thank you Brian for your faithfulness to us, for teaching us and showing us who God really is and how much he loves us. If you’re new to this community and you just started listening, hang in there. Keep listening. God will move in your life. He will open your heart and you will receive so much from him. Hang in there. Keep listening. God bless everyone. Have a…

[wasalwaysagreatpickle]

Thursday 20 March 1834

7

1

Fine white frosty morning as yesterday Fahrenheit 45 1/2˚ at 7 10/.. a.m. from 8 to 9 10/.. reading the Debates – very interesting – Cobbett’s motion for the repeal of the malt tax (negatived) and Shiel’s motion for papers (information) relating to the late treaty between Russia and the North – negatived without a division – 

From 9 1/4 to 11 3/4 spoke to Charles Howarth – breakfast in 1/2 hour at 10 3/4 and wrote 4 3/4 pages to Miss Walker to go in a parcel with her returned letter to her aunt and with Mr Parker’s receipt and number 1 Paxton’s magazine of botany – kind letter but excuse saying I had opened the letter and how admirable it, nothing particular – concluded with ‘I have many things to say – my heart is full of them; but imagine all you can, and believe me now and always faithfully and affectionately yours AL’ said my aunt was not quite so well these last few days, but rather better last night – had not heard of her this morning – if not worse hoped to dine with Miss Walker next Saturday week – not to expect me much before 6 – could not leave here before 11 and wished to look at fire grates in Leeds – 

Sent Thomas at 11 3/4 with my letter to ‘Miss Walker’ and the parcel to ‘Miss Walker, Heworth Grange, York per mail 20 March’ – had hardly sent it before I discovered that the letter to Cliffhill was left behind – immediately wrote 1 page more of a thousand thousand pardons etc enclosed the letter in this envelope and that in sufficient paper and made another parcel and sent off with it myself to meet the mail and give it to the guard – 

Off at 12 1/4 by James Smith’s – waited at the turnpike saw Pearson landlord of the Stump Cross Inn there – he took me aside saying he understood that property was to be sold – he had 20 days work shewed it me – pays £75 a year – quite as much or more than it is worth but did not doubt there were who would give more – he had thought of buying the property himself but Mr Robinson (George) said he knew I thought of buying it, and he (Pearson) thought we had better not oppose one another – I quite agreed, and was much obliged and very civil – doubted that a good title could be made but if Pearson heard any more of it, to come to Shibden and let us talk it over – he had already bid more than he would give now, as he should have a good deal to borrow – asked what and after promising I would not name it he handsomely told me - £3000 but he thought he could at that price make 3 1/2 percent of it – I said as times were he had bid too much, and I should not be against him at that price nor did I think many other people would – he said the Staups buildings let for £30 a year, and the 2 cottages let to William Green for £10 per annum = £115 or 3 1/2 percent on £3000 besides there were some people very anxious for a part of the property so that he could get the low part reasonable – I made no remark on this but thought as I walked back 3 1/2 percent would do – 

It was 1 5/.. (12 50/.. by Halifax?) before the mail passed – gave the guard the parcel (containing my 1 page of envelope and the Cliff Hill letter) directed to ‘Miss Walker Heworth Grange York per mail 20 March’ – home at 1 1/2 - some time with my aunt – poorly again – the sore on her leg bled so much last night (bled a little the 2 preceding nights) she was almost sick this morning and thanked me for having, as Oddy told her, sent for Mr Sunderland – I had also sent my note written last night to ‘the Reverend Charles Musgrave Vicarage’ – compliments and should be much obliged and glad if he could come here any day before next Saturday week – 

Till 2 1/2 wrote the whole of the above of today – parcel from Mr Thorpe, 38 Bedford Street, Covent Garden, London containing number 467 of the catalogue, and volumes of catalogue of different sorts of manuscripts and other works – 

Out from 2 3/4 to 6 40/.. with the mason (a young man not here before?) and the boy lowering the garden wall and George Hardy, the mason who has been here with Mallinson, all day thinning the mullions of the upper buttery windows – and Pickles and 3 men at the terrace his son Robert jobbing – Charles and James Howarth mending up the old oak door into the old library passage – John Booth planting out flowers taking sod off terrace slope, finished taking off gravel and levelling stuff under road wall –

1/2 hour talking to Marian – Mr Sunderland came about 7 1/4 – thinks my aunt no worse – no intermission in her pulse – has not lost strength – the bleeding of the wound in her leg a mere oozing from the granulations forming – dinner at 7 1/2 – coffee – Marian came to me and stayed talking till 9 – with my aunt at 10 for 40 minutes – making extract from Gilley’s [Waldenson] Researchers 2nd series till 12 25/..

Very fine day – Fahrenheit 51˚ at 11 50/.. p.m. –

[lyssala]

Day 9  – Plot of Your Favorite Movie

Pairings: Terra & Aqua, Kingdom Hearts

Setting: Modern AU where Terra and Aqua are coworkers who do not get along, but unbeknownst to them, they are actually wonderful friends

Rating: K+

Words: 15377

Notes: Another fic I have wanted to do for ages! Its based off of You've Got Mail and the musical She Loves Me (both of which are based on the same source material). I've always loved the setup for these works and have always wanted to try my hand at doing an au with a similar setup. Also! Its a Christmas fic so Happy Holidays my friends!! (also in case you know/listen to the music, Vanilla Ice Cream was my signature audition song and it has such a special place in my heart, which is why the title is not Christmas related at all LOL)

As always a HUGE thanks to @mimiplaysgames who helped me edit this fic while she was on vacation. She really helped me cultivate the right tone for this fic (because its another sorta rival feelings one) and I can just NEVER thank her enough. She's amazing and SHE JUST UPDATED A FIC YESTERDAY so you all should go read it immediately <3

AO3

He Came to Offer Me Vanilla Ice Cream

Inspired By: Three Letters, Vanilla Ice Cream, She Loves Me (She Loves Me, 2016 Revival Cast)

Dear OftheShire,

I’m so sorry to hear you have to work so much over the holidays. I understand the feelings all too well, unfortunately. My saving grace is that I at least don’t get sick of listening to Christmas music! Customers, yes, absolutely, but hearing All I Want for Christmas for the tenth time on one shift keeps me going strong. I even sing along to the horror of my coworkers. I do love the holidays, and the high consumerism the holiday has turned into can’t take that away from me.

The weather, the music, the smells, the feeling of it just reminds me of being a little girl, hanging up my stocking and double checking the cookies I left out for Santa. I would be so ecstatic when there would be chunks missing in the cookies in the morning that I’d completely miss the crumbs in my dad’s beard! Did you believe in Santa too? (Also totally sorry to be the bearer of bad news if you still believed in Santa D: ) Some people find it cruel to let their kids believe only to then tell them it was a lie, but I have so many fond memories of trying to look for Santa on Christmas Eve and my mom playing along that she saw reindeer in the distance that I never found it cruel. If I ever have children, I think I’d like to share that with them too.

My parents live back in my home state, which, believe it or not, gets even colder than where I live now! I grew up really far north, which is wonderful in every other seasons but winter. Even growing up there can’t get me used to the cold and the snow. They’re actually coming to visit me for the first time since I started Grad school out here for Christmas! I can’t wait to see them. Are you close with your family?

Congratulations on being able to graduate next semester yourself! I still have a ways to go but the fact you’re already almost done gives me hope I can survive myself. What did you say you studied again? It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t seem to recall. That’s probably because I haven’t had my coffee yet, believe me that’s my first stop before class :P

I probably should get on that or I’m going to be late, another long day means multiple cups of coffee (and maybe a few cinnamon rolls).

--

The store was thankfully busy. Not so much for Terra who had to pay much more at attention than usual, but for the store itself. Sure they were the only bookstore in the mall, which helped significantly but at the same time they were independently owned and needed the revenue to keep the doors open.

He looked down the aisle he was standing nearby quickly and had to dodge a few younger kids running to the back of the store where the children’s books were.  One of their hands reached out to pull at one of the books but his friend shoved him to keep moving, making the book launch towards the floor. Terra reached out to grab it, placing it carefully back where it was supposed to go. Granted, judging by the complete disarray of every other shelf it really didn’t matter.

The moment he cleaned this aisle, it was a disaster again. He’d have to leave it for the afternoon when they’d be a little slower; the thought alone made him roll his eyes. That would thrill the afternoon shift lead he was sure.

Terra pulled his phone from his apron pocket, glancing at the clock. She’d be here in about an hour, but that also meant he got to leave soon which was more than enough to get him through the rest of his shift. He knew he should put his phone back in his pocket as he was on the floor; even if he was the lead he didn’t like to do things he didn’t let the kids do. Still he couldn’t resist peeking at his email.

Nothing.

He quickly opened the app just to see if he didn’t get a notification but there were no new messages there either.

“Terra!” a voice crackled so loudly in his hear he almost both dropped his phone and ripped the headpiece from his ear. “Terra, can you hear me?”

He reached up to grab the button hanging on the wire of his headset. “Yes, Sora, for the thousandth time, I can always hear you when you speak at a normal volume.”

“Sorry,” Sora’s voice was sheepish but Terra could practically see the smile on the younger boy’s lips. “I have a return. I got everything set up but I need your approval.”

“I’ll be right there.”

“Excuse me, sir?” another voice said nearby but judging by the fact she wasn’t shouting his name it wasn’t one of his employees. “I was looking for something to get my grandson, but I’m unsure what to look for.”

When did this aisle get so full of people? Was the whole store full up again? Had an hour and a half gone by yet?

Terra leaned back hoping to catch the nearest employee he could see who wasn’t on register. Silver hair and blue eyes looked back at him, putting some books back. Terra gestured for him to come over.

“Ma’am, I’m going to have Riku help you find everything you need as I have to assist at the front, is that okay?”

The woman looked a little disgruntled at first but seemed to lighten up when Riku actually stepped into the aisle. “Yes, that’ll be fine. Come with me, young man.”

“I’m sorry,” Terra mouthed when Riku gave a wince but Terra had to keep moving to go finish out the return for Sora before he started yelling in Terra’s ear again. He probably wouldn’t even let Sora use it if he wasn’t always on registers; he was personable and quick, easy to strike a conversation and get the job done.

“Terra,” Sora said again, though this time in an exaggerated whisper. “They’re getting mad.”

Of course they were, everyone was so much more impatient as soon as the Christmas trees go up. He honestly felt that way sometimes too, but the words from his friend’s last message rang in his head. She sounded like she loved Christmas so much, and everything that went into it. For some reason it made him smile at her childlike glow even though all he knew was her typed words and nothing more. She just oozed passion in every message he got from her.

He tried not to think about it too much but it was hard not to; especially when he looked forward to what she was going to say to him next; what he would say to her helped him through these longs days. Terra knew he didn’t quite have a connection with every single person he met, so he was astounded to find that easy communication with her, even though they really never met. No name, no personal identification information, no pictures, just their messages back and forth. Still, it was something special to him.

Terra moved to step behind the register Sora was standing behind; he looked visibly relieved.

“Sorry, about that, Ma’am,” Terra said with a smile, as he leaned in to punch in his code that would let the return go through. He trusted Sora enough to do it right so there was no need to look over it. “You’re good to finish.”

“Thanks,” Sora said, moving back to go about the rest of the transaction as quick as his fingers would allow.

Terra moved to grab some of the books on the back counter that were probably other returns or go backs but really he just wanted to look over the store. There was a small line but with Sora on one and Xion on the other they’d handle registers just fine. Terra glanced around the store, scanning over the other employees scattered around working; if only to make sure everyone was actually working.

There was one missing, and usually it was hard to miss such red hair anywhere. Figures Lea was late. Terra would give Lea a little longer before he called. For the time being he went to place the books back and help on the floor. He had been working here since high school, he knew how to handle both the product and the people, even if he didn’t always characterize himself as a people person. He could still smile and help; though he usually found a lot of people went to the kids to ask for help instead. He apparently looked too intimidating to work at a bookstore.

In the very least, the busy days meant time went by faster. It also made him forget to keep looking at his phone to see if it went off at all. In fact before he knew it, he was turning to stand face to face with the afternoon lead.

“Jesus,” he grunted, taking a step back from her. “Do you have to sneak up on me?”

Aqua was shorter than him, but she was plenty loud; if she wanted to announce her presence she would’ve. Currently, she looked very disinterested in the fact she had to talk to him. Even still, her blue eyes were bright under the store lighting a small smile in the corner of her lips. He knew it absolutely didn’t have to do with him, and probably everything to do with that Christmas spirit she loved so much.

She rolled her eyes. “It’s not my fault you were off in your own head like always.”

He decided to ignore that, however, it was hard to ignore that Aqua was the only one who could look pretty under terrible mall lighting. He placed another book on the shelf in front of him. Terra may not get along with her but it wasn’t like he was blind. He knew the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled and how the shade of her eyes was so unique it was almost like the color of the ocean…not that he would admit that to her or anyone for that matter.

“Did you leave a list of what was done today and what still has to be done?”

“Always do,” he grunted, grabbing another book off the ground to put back.

She clicked her tongue, looking around the area. “This place looks like a mess.”

“Oh, did Scrooge happen to forget it’s only a few weeks before Christmas?”

“Cute, Terra, but you’re the one who hasn’t worn a single Christmas color to work, not me.”

He glanced over to her and sure enough she was wearing not only a red dress but green leggings and even a Santa hat over her blue hair. “Remember what I wear every day, do you?”

“Only your lack of any holiday spirit what so ever.” She reached over to push in a book on the bookshelf near his hand, because, clearly, only she could clean the store correctly.

A twinge of annoyance went down his spine. “Maybe if I didn’t have to listen to you nag at me every day I’d feel more festive.”

“I only nag you because if I didn’t, you’d day dream through the whole shift.”

Well, sort of fair; Terra knew he had a tendency to zone out at times but he wasn’t about to admit that to her. Thankfully, Lea chose that moment to scurry in behind the register, nudging Riku out of the way so he could log in and sneak in the back room. To Lea’s credit he almost had it, and Terra probably would’ve let it slide just because Lea was usually pretty creative when it came to excuses as to being late.

“Nice of you to join us, Lea,” Aqua said without turning her head to him as he snuck behind a bookshelf. “An hour late.”

“Yeah, you know, about that-”

“Go get ready for the shift, don’t worry I have a job for you.”

Lea grumbled something but slouched away probably to the back room.

“See you guys!” Sora waved as he headed out with Roxas and Xion both zipping up their jackets.

“See you,” Terra said, raising a hand to wave.

“See you tomorrow, Aqua,” Xion said, turning to wave goodbye herself.

“It’ll be fun,” Aqua smiled back at the kids who were hurrying to the front.

Terra must’ve scoffed too loud because she was looking back over at him. “Does that mean I’m done? Can I go home now?”

Kairi was already logging in on the register with Olette tying her apron around her back. It was still a little busy but they should be okay. Not that Terra was going to offer to stay to work with Aqua; she was such a control freak it was impossible to work with her.

“As long as you left me the list,” she said, walking away from him.

“I hope it’s up to your impeccable standards.”

Aqua wasn’t looking at him at all, not even a glance; she just continued to where the girls were probably going for the list he really did leave for her and to divvy up the jobs for the night.

“Yikes, dude.”

Terra nearly jumped at the sound of the voice right behind him. He turned his head to see way too familiar blond hair and blue eyes, and a toothy grin that told Terra not to trust whatever the next words were going to be.

“You’re really terrible at flirting.”

“Ventus,” Terra sighed, placing the last book in his arms on the correct shelf. “That was not even remotely what was going on. Not even a little bit.”

“Yeah, cause you got that mystery girl right?”

“I don’t…I don’t have anyone, okay.” Though Terra was tempted to pull out his phone to check to see if he had any new messages from the very person Ven was implying but that would only prove his little brother correct, and Terra didn’t need that right now. He did hope she had said something back though. “She’s just a nice person I talk to. Aqua on the other hand, I think we’d murder each other if we had to be in the same space for too long.”

“Whatever,” Ven snorted. “Are you done? I’m starving.”  

Terra glanced back up to the counter; Riku was ringing out someone as Lea was rushing up, hastily tying his apron. Aqua went over the plan with the girls but Terra couldn’t hear a thing. It would probably be strict down to the letter of what they’d have to do knowing Aqua. Ah well, it wasn’t his shift anymore anyways. “Yeah, let me get my things.”

--

Dear Bytheseaside,

I cannot believe there is a person on this planet that actually doesn’t get sick of that song. I’m pretty sure I’ve been sick of it for at least an eternity now. I guess that’s a testament to you though, patient through and through. I appreciate the holidays as well though I wish I didn’t have to work mostly through them all and I’m sorry to hear so do you. Granted I would like to see you singing along to the songs as you worked, I hope there’s dancing too, possibly a hair brush microphone? I’d assume go all out when it comes to Mariah Carey.

I’m so greatly offended that you could ever say that Santa Claus is not real. How could you think that me, a twenty-six year old male, would ever believe anything but that a man went to every house in the world one night on flying reindeer? To answer your question, yes, I did as a kid, so did my younger brother. Before you ask, no I didn’t tell him until he was old enough. He was an innocent kid, very naïve, very trusting, it actually sort of made me want to believe again just by having him believe it so much. I say that because he’s a pain in my ass now. It was fun though, I used to make cookies with him, leave out the milk, write Santa on some gift tags. Now he just makes cookies for himself. Sorry, Santa.

If that didn’t answer your question, I am close to my family though it’s just my brother, me and my dad. We all still live in the same place we grew up in so no drastic change like you had. I even go to grad school in the same town, I’m fairly boring honestly. I’ve traveled quite a lot for vacations since my dad and brother love to travel but otherwise we just stay put in our little town where it snows in the winter but I don’t think it’s too cold. That’s exciting you’ll get to visit with your parents soon! I honestly don’t think I could live that far away from mine, so you have all my respect that you just up and left to go study where you wanted to.

Oh, hey, thanks! It’s still a little surreal honestly. I never thought I’d ever see the end of school, especially at Midwestern where I go. I not only live in the town, but I went to undergrad there too. I’ve seen its buildings enough for my taste. Oh, it’s no worries, I have the joyful career of becoming an English teacher, aren’t you thrilled for me? I thankfully have experience working with high schoolers and they sometimes find me intimidating so I’m hoping that will carry over when I tell them they have to read The Scarlet Letter.

Okay, knowing you, there’s probably enough sugar in any given cup of coffee. I have no idea how you could stand cinnamon rolls on top of that too, but I guess I’m not surprised either. You could rival my brother’s love for sugar. Please don’t end up in a sugar coma before you even get to class :P

--

Aqua hummed as she hung up her jacket in the employee room. It was some mash up of Jingle Bells and Santa Claus is Coming to Town but she couldn’t help it. Christmas was so close now, her family would be visiting and everything just oozed with holiday cheer; especially the bells she clipped into her hair for today’s outfit. Even though she was stuck at work all night she felt warm and light, like nothing could quite get under her skin; she sure hoped it stayed the case considering the closer to Christmas, the ruder customers got. Oh well, she’d meet it with a smile, it was the only way to get through the day.

She tied her apron behind her back, slipping her phone in the front pocket (though not without checking her messages first, though so far it was as empty as it was when she left for work). It was okay, he worked a lot too and always was in school; he was probably as busy as she was. The fact he even made time for a few messages was still enough to keep her good mood up.

Aqua kept humming, glancing up at the written schedule on the board to see who she was working with tonight. Everyone had different strengths so she liked to place jobs with people who would excel at them, and it would make their time go by a little faster when they weren’t forced to do something they hated. It was pretty typical; Kairi, Lea, the twins, Xion, Riku, and….no, wait, that had to be a mistake. She reached up to trace the dates, bringing her finger down to make sure she was reading it right.

The door opened making her turn her head, but the person shuffling into the room only confirmed she was reading the schedule correctly. “Terra?”

“In the flesh,” he snorted, but his back was to her as he was shrugging off his jacket; his way-too-light jacket for this weather, what was wrong with that man?

“Is this a mistake?”

“Wish it was,” he said, reaching for his apron to drop over his head. “I’d much rather be home.”

Aqua pressed her lips together, looking back at the schedule. Well, it was only two weeks till Christmas, she supposed she could understand why they may want to schedule two leads but at the same time, did it have to be him?

She didn’t hate Terra. He was a nice guy, quiet and he was very patient with customers and the kids who worked here; in fact she was pretty sure he had more patience in one fraction of his body than she possessed all together. At the same time though, he was so laid back he let things slide far too much which drove her crazy. She could deal with it when it was just in passing, when he told her what was done all morning so she knew what to fix all night, but working a whole shift together?

She looked up at the future days she was scheduled and had to bite back a groan. For everyday she was scheduled until Christmas they were working together? Okay, she was coming in tomorrow morning to talk to someone about this or she’d likely not make it till Christmas.

“Okay,” she said, turning around to face Terra. He wasn’t looking at her, but down at his phone, scrolling through something. “I assume neither of us care for this arraignment?”

“Fair assessment,” he said, still not looking up.

“Then let’s split up the store. I’ll handle the front half and you handle the back half. Registers will be neutral.”

“What is this?” Terra did look up that time, arching an eyebrow at her. “A war meeting?”

“It’s retail in Christmas, of course it’s a war meeting.”

Much to her surprise he actually smiled at her. Well, he also rolled his eyes and shook his head but still. Terra dropped his phone in his apron pocket, before grabbing a headset to put in is ear, clipping the radio into his back pocket as he walked back over to the door. “Fine, should I lay down a boundary line to make sure no one crosses it?”

“Of course, I’ll give you money to buy the duct tape.”

“I have a brother, believe me, I know how to handle boundary lines.” Terra went to push the door open but it swung open on itself.

“No one can say anything,” Lea said as he walked in, pointing to the both of them. “I’m on time today.”

“Christmas miracles,” Terra said, reaching out to push at Lea’s head before Terra caught the door open, leaving without another word.

“Good, because if you were late one more time I was going to put you on register the whole night just because I know how much you love it,” Aqua said, watching as Lea shrugged out of his long jacket.

“Wait,” he arched an eyebrow as he looked back at her. “Are you and Terra both working tonight?”

“Ah, yeah, seems like the boss wants more hands at night.”

Lea got this grin on his lips, devilish almost, not that the flaming red hair helped. “Oh, this is going to be a grand night.”

Aqua decided not to ask what he meant by that and moved to grab a headset and radio before leaving the room to head to the floor; there at least she could assign the other workers their jobs. She hoped everything went quickly and smoothly. She really wasn’t in the mood to bicker with Terra all night.

Thankfully, he seemed to feel the same.

For the most part it was easy to help customers at the front of the store, keeping an eye on the registers, straightening and restocking when she could. The customer volume was absolutely going up every day so she could understand why there were two leads on the floor but that didn’t mean she was completely happy about it. Though to his credit Terra stayed to the back of the store and helped any customers she sent that way. She knew he’d prefer to be back there as opposed to the front where she got the brunt of the social force.

“Permission to step across the boundary, your highness?”

She looked up from straightening some self-help books to see Terra with both his hands up in defense. “Depends, what’s your business?”

“I would very much like to leave the store to get dinner.”

Was it that time already? Aqua glanced over to the registers where Sora and Xion were busy ringing out. Roxas was probably still in the kid’s section fixing the display she asked him to adjust, Riku was upfront helping someone with the new releases, and while Aqua couldn’t see Lea or Kairi they were probably wandering around somewhere.

“I’ll even throw the incentive to check the back of the store to make sure my standards are as high as yours.” He was watching her but his hands were in the front of his apron, probably fiddling with his phone or something.

“Why do you think we’re so busy?�� she asked, pushing another book back into place. “High standards.”

“Oh, yeah, nothing to do with the fact we’re the only book store in the nearest 50 mile radius,” he snorted.

Okay, fair point; not that she was going to tell him that. “Yes, you can go, just tell me when you’re finished so I can take mine too.”

“Oh, she takes breaks does she?”

“Don’t be such an ass,” she said, but admittedly was choking back a small laugh. Aqua would just toss that up to the fact she was still in plenty of a good mood. “Just go.”

“Whatever you say, princess.” Terra gave a vague sort of wave as he walked towards the front of the store until he was completely out of sight.

“Do you even think they know?” Lea’s voice said from nearby, but Aqua didn’t pay too much attention to it, she just went back to fixing the shelves she was working on.

“Oh, God, no,” Kairi giggled. “They would never flirt with each other as much as they do if they knew they were doing it.”

Aqua did turn to look that time, which was the only reason she knew they were talking about her; considering both Lea and Kairi were peering around the end of the bookshelves in that row watching her with near matching shit-eating grins on their lips. Aqua had to ignore the heat that rose to her face that the insane implication she would ever flirt with Terra, or vice versa for that matter. That was absurd. You didn’t flirt with people you could barely be in the same room with.

“No way,” she said pointing towards them. “How many times have I told you both, you aren’t allowed to work near each other. All you do is talk and gossip. Lea, go make sure kids haven’t bombarded Roxas in the children’s section, then go make sure everyone has been helped. Kairi, please start on the other end of this row with me.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Lea said, vanishing behind the shelves.

Kairi was still giggling but she started straightening the books like she was asked. Aqua wanted to ask the younger girl how they got it in their heads that either Terra or herself would ever consider flirting with each other, but at the same time she didn’t want to open that door. Ever.

Aqua’s phone buzzed and her heart leapt up to her throat. She really knew she couldn’t look, and she shouldn’t look, it set a bad example; she wasn’t always as disciplined as she looked though. She pushed her apron pocket open, peeking down at the bright screen with her heart pounding in her chest. It promptly sunk into her stomach when she saw it was just an email telling her about some sale.

“Message from the mystery man?”

Aqua’s head snapped up to see Kairi still looking at the books as she worked on, making them look neat again. It wasn’t a terrible surprise as Kairi tended to work afternoon shifts with Aqua, and she may have mentioned she was talking to someone a few times. “Ah, no, not this time.”

“Do you know his name yet?”

“No, but that’s okay,” Aqua said, taking a small breath before going back to her job.

“Aren’t you worried he’s like sixty years old or something? Or like a murderer?”

“I’m not saying everyone you meet on the internet is good,” Aqua said. “But when you talk to someone enough, you just sort of…know them. I don’t know, I may not know his name or what he looks like but he’s sweet.” She paused. “And he said he was twenty-six so he’s only a little bit older than me.”

“Do you feel like you know him already then?” Kairi asked. She wasn’t teasing this time, genuinely curious.

“Sort of,” Aqua said, a smile pulling at her lips at just the thought of their conversations. “He’s very kind, and articulate. He’s said once or twice people find him intimidating but to me he just seems so gentle, you know? Especially when he talks about his little brother. I know what he likes to do for fun, favorite foods, movies, what he wants to do for a living, and ah…”

“What?”

Aqua paused for a moment, feeling a small bundle of nerves in her stomach again. He mentioned it so briefly in his last message and she had been torn over what to do about it ever since…if she even wanted to do something about it. “He sorta mentioned where he went to college.”

“Was it bad? Oh wait, was it good? Like Ivy League good?”

“No, well, I mean good but…it’s where I go to school.”

Kairi nearly dropped the book she was holding. “Wait, you guys go to the same school and don’t even know it?”

Aqua nodded; it had been about her same reaction when she read that one sentence. He probably didn’t even mean to say since up till then, they never gave away and facts that led onto where they lived.

“You could know him in real life and not even know it.”

“I think I’d know it,” she rolled her eyes. Aqua may not know him at sight, but she was pretty sure from having a conversation with him that she’d be able to tell how he talked, how he presented himself. She still paused, looking over to Kairi. “Should I ask him to meet? Like on campus or something? Would that be too much?”

“I mean, I don’t think it would be too much,” Kairi shrugged. “People meet online all the time these days. It just depends on how comfortable you feel about it or if you like the mystery more than the man.”

Aqua knew the answer to that question. She’d love to meet him, to sit across the table from him over some warm coffee, to see if how she pictured his voice was really how it was, to hear his laugh, see his smile. The thoughts alone made her stomach flip anxiously. What if he wasn’t anything like how she pictured? Would it make a difference?

“I think I would…” Aqua started. “Meet him that is.”

“Then ask him,” Kairi said, standing up on her toes to get a book on the top shelf. “Worst he could say is no and then you’re no worse off than you are now.”

That was a good point. Aqua squatted down towards the floor to fix a few books. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad thing to ask. Maybe he’d like it too. Maybe he wouldn’t but then they could still talk just like they have been. She thought about meeting him so many times before now, ever since she sent that first message a few months ago.

She liked him, more than she cared to admit to anyone but herself. It was silly maybe, but he always brought a smile to her face, that had to be worth something. It had to be worth a risk.

--

Dear OftheShire,

Of course there’s dancing, geez, boy, do you even know me?? Not a hairbrush, no, but absolutely any candy cane shaped object I can find. It’s been described as both a wonder and a hot mess so I take that with very high regard. If you ever wander into where I work I’ll be sure to show you, and probably embarrass you and myself so much you’ll never want to be seen in public with me lmao

That’s right! I forgot you mentioned your little brother before. Well, you sound like a great big brother to play along with the façade, even just for his sake. I don’t have any siblings myself so I never got to share the joy of having to share my room or bathroom with anyone. He seems very sweet, even if you insist he’s a pain in your ass (ps I can totally tell you love him, don’t play so cool :P ) Plus he sounds like he likes sweets as much as me so I can get behind that!

It’s so sweet you’re so close to your family too! So much that you don’t consider leaving them, that tells me a lot about you and how much they must love you too :D Okay, wait, how have we been talking so much and you never told me you traveled! I haven’t gotten to do so very much but I’ve always wanted to. Are we talking like “oh, hey, I just get around the country every so often” or “I’m a damn world traveler and have eaten things you’d never dreamed of and can speak five languages on command”? I mean both are cool, but I need to know which one it is.

Savor it, my friend! Especially as a teacher, cause, hate to break it to you but technically you’re going to be in school for a very long time. High school too? Wow, you’re a brave man! See, you keep saying people find you intimidating, but, like, to me you seem so mellow and gentle? Is it something about you physically? Are you like a seven foot football player or wrestler or something? Also, excuse you, don’t judge my sugar intake, I’m perfectly capable of not dying from sugar intake, :P (More reasons why I love your brother already too)

Hey, so, weird thing. I sort of go to Midwestern too. Small world right! I can’t believe we’ve been talking for so long and we could be in the same class. How weird is that? I was wondering if maybe you wanted to meet for coffee on campus or something? At that little café in the library? Like this Thursday? Please don’t feel like you have to! But I thought it might be nice to actually see each other in person since we happened to actually live in the same town. I can like wear bells in my hair and have a copy of The Hobbit since I know that was your favorite book as a kid so you know it’s me. Just let me know!

--

“I don’t know why I had to come with you,” Ven said as he walked down the sidewalk next to Terra. That statement, of course, was accompanied by Ven’s big grin, meaning he was highly amused that his older brother asked him to come with him to a possible, maybe, sort of, kind of date.

Was it? Terra had no idea, but he’d never claim to be good at picking up on things like that. All he knew was he stared at her message for a lot longer than he should’ve, even stunned that someone as nice as her would actually want to see him in person. It was easy to agree then, to feel excited to finally meet the person behind the words but now that he was walking towards the campus library, the bright lights from the building looming over him, all he felt like was throwing up.

“Even if she was a murderer I’m pretty sure you could take her,” Ven continued.

“I don’t think she’s a murderer,” Terra snorted, shoving his hands in his jacket pockets. “Or even a threat.”

“I hate to break it to you, Ter, but you aren’t always the best judge of character.”

That was…fair. “Can’t you be good, quiet moral support?”

Ven clicked his tongue looking up to the building. “If you wanted quiet support you probably should’ve brought like Riku from your work or something. I’m your brother, I’m legally entitled to give you a hard time.”

“I don’t think that’s true. If me and dad both die then you’re legally entitled to my things I guess.”

Ven whistled. “Books, books, and more books I’m so thrilled.”

Terra reached out to shove at Ven’s head, making the younger boy laugh. It was why Terra bought Ven in the first place; if anyone could make Terra not get wrapped up too much in his own thoughts, it was Ven.

“There it is,” he said, pointing to a particularly well illuminated section of the library. It was easy to see through the large windows where students were in line to get a late night caffeine fix or snacks; it was fairly late, he had to wait till he was off work to even come since Aqua already requested the night off and someone had to be there.

“Don’t look so nervous.” Ven nudged Terra’s shoulder. “She already likes you enough to talk to you all the time, this is just without a screen in between. No big deal.” Ven reached for the door handle, but Terra pulled Ven away from it.

“God, what?” he asked, arching an eyebrow up.

Terra knew he was acting sort of childish but he couldn’t help but feel the nerves in his stomach reaching up through his chest. “What if she isn’t even there?”

Ven paused for a second before grabbing a hold of Terra’s arm, dragging him over to one of the side windows. Ven leaned up close to the glass leaving Terra out of view so that way Ven would be the one seen if anyone looked over. “Okay, what did she say she was wearing again?”

He was a good brother. “Ah, she said she’d have bells in her hair, and a book, The Hobbit.”

“You guys are such nerds,” Ven snorted. “Alright, alright, let me…see…” He let out a low whistle that made Terra look up.

“Wait, what? Is that good or bad?”

“I dunno, man, she doesn’t really look your type but she does look like mine, maybe I should go in instead of you.”

It took Terra a moment with his heart nearly in his throat to realize Ven was teasing. “You’re a shit, will you tell me the truth?”

“Okay, okay, calm down,” Ven laughed, looking back into the café. “Alright so, bells in the hair is kind of common around Christmas, but the book would be an easier…way…to tell, ummm…Oh!”

“What? Do you see her?” Terra asked, nearly going up behind Ven to see too.

Ven was quiet for a second, and he wasn’t teasing anymore which didn’t bode well. “Ah, well, she’s your type for sure, but you’re probably not going to like it.”

Terra had no idea what that was supposed to mean. He quickly slipped in next to Ven who nodded over to a table off to the side of the café. Terra saw the book first, fingers tapping on the cover, anxiously, impatiently maybe. Maybe he should’ve known before he even looked at her face, the familiar shade of blue hair, eyes he already knew glancing over at the door when it opened. Hell, he even knew the bells she was wearing in her hair.

He quickly turned around, leaning his back against the window instead. This couldn’t be…it was a joke right? The girl, the kind, funny, compassionate girl he had been talking to for months it…couldn’t be Aqua, could it?

It had to be. He didn’t tell anyone but Ven, who may tease Terra sure but would never do anything cruel to him. Maybe the girl had said something to someone else? Like she was nervous to meet him too so she said something to a friend who offered to wait for her, that friend unknowingly being Aqua.

Terra turned his head to look back in the room to see if anything could confirm that theory. It didn’t though, not when he saw the hope flicker in her eyes every time someone walked in, anytime someone got too close to her table for it to fade away, her fingers still tapping anxiously at book cover.

It was her; there was no one else it could be. How could it be her? The girl he talked to was nothing like the Aqua he was forced to work with.

“Terra,” Ven said, like he was very much doubting that Terra was going to move. “You have to go in there, you know that right?”

“I can’t,” he groaned, leaning his head back against the glass. “If she knows it’s me she’ll just be mad and she’ll never talk to me again.”

“So you’re going to leave a person, that I know you’ve been trying to hide how much you like, just waiting for you cause you found out you really do know them?”

“That’s the problem. I do know her and now I feel like I know two completely different people sharing the same body.”

Ven arched an eyebrow. “Do you though?”

“Do I what?”

“Do you know her? Maybe the girl online is really how she is and you never gave her the chance to be that way around you.”

Terra didn’t like that Ven was making sense. He was barely graduated from high school; it shouldn’t be possible for him to make assumptions like that. “It doesn’t change the fact that if she sees me, she’s going to make me leave. I can guarantee you I’m not the person she wants to see.”

“So what, you’re just going to stand her up? I’m sure she was looking forward to this as much as you were and she’ll leave here wondering why her friend didn’t want to meet her.”

Ven was laying on the guilt there but it was working. Terra didn’t always get along with Aqua but he didn’t hate her, and he really didn’t hate the girl he talked to on the internet; he wouldn’t want either of them to feel stood up.

“Okay,” Terra said, reaching a hand up to run through his hair. “Okay, I’ll go. But you’re getting an ‘I told you so’ if she kicks me out without letting me explain.”

Ven didn’t say anything else, he just gestured to the door. Terra did what he said and opened the door to the café, stepping inside. He tried not to look at her, knowing she was still watching everyone who walked in. He thought he felt Ven slip in behind but Terra lost track of his brother when he did make eye contact with Aqua.

She looked a little confused, like she was surprised he was there. Did she even know they went to the same school? Probably not; it wasn’t like they talked much, especially if it wasn’t work related. He walked over to the table she was sitting at, though he still had no idea what he was going to do let alone say.

“Hey,” he said, which was at least a start.

“Ah, hey,” Aqua said, still a confused look on her face. “I didn’t know you went to school here.”

That answered that question. “Hm, yeah, I do. What’re you doing here so late?”

Her face flushed slightly, she was embarrassed; it wasn’t a look he was used to on her. “Oh, I was just waiting for someone.”

“This late at night?”

“He had to work.”

“He, huh,” Terra said, pulling out the empty chair from the table. “On a date then?”

She flushed again and he did feel bad. He never saw Aqua be embarrassed in as long as he knew her. She always rolled with the punches, and stood her ground; which he did admire about her if he was being honest. “Who said it was your business?”

Terra shrugged, trying to ignore the weird feeling in the pit of his stomach as he sat down. It was a strange mix of still being in shock that Aqua was his mystery girl and the fluttering feeling fact that she wasn’t denying it could’ve been a date.  It was so conflicting and made him sort of want to throw up. “It’s not, I was only asking.”

The door opened behind him and Aqua’s head immediately snapped over to look. She watched the guy walk in but looked away when he made no motion to walk over to her.

“Blind date?” he asked, propping his elbow up on the table. He knew he should tell her, it was cruel to pretend it wasn’t him, but at the same time he couldn’t actually get the words to form in his head let alone come out.

Aqua glanced back to him, like she was surprised he was still there. “I guess you could say that.”

“Friend of a friend?”

“No,” she said, looking down to the book still on the table. “Ah, I met him online.”

Terra whistled. “You keep looking for him, I’m guessing he’s late?”

She hesitated. “It’s an unusual hour, he could be running behind.”

“And didn’t even tell you? Not the best first impression.”

She arched an eyebrow. “He’s actually a very nice person. I think if he’s running late he has a good reason to be.”

Terra felt a slight bit of exhilaration that she was standing up for him, that she thought he was a good person who wouldn’t stand anyone up. Based only on their conversations she actually wanted to see him, she looked forward to it. It only made him feel sicker that she was so wrong without even knowing it. “Sure hope so, better than chickening out.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” That exasperated tone he knew well, but now he couldn’t stop seeing the softer look in her eyes, her tone in the way she excitedly told him about her days, about how much she loved Christmas.

It would’ve been easy to say, “Yeah, right here” or anything to tell her that he was the one she was waiting for but she looked like she wanted to be anywhere but near him. Despite expecting this was how it was going to be, it hurt. Not just because this was the girl he looked forward to getting messages from, the girl who got him through the long days, that made the holidays seem a little brighter this year, but because something in the way he behaved towards her made her feel like she had to be harsh with him.

Maybe if he had been kinder at work, maybe if he listened instead of writing her off as a control freak, if he understood how she operated, if he was more patient, he would’ve seen the girl behind the screen while he was at work. Maybe he would’ve seen her eyes light up when it was him who walked through the room and maybe he would’ve liked it, loved it even.  

But it wasn’t what happened and now he couldn’t tell her, he couldn’t ever tell her. Terra wasn’t sure he could bear seeing that disappointment in her eyes. It would be easier for her to feel stood up than for him to crush her dreams that her mystery guy was none other than the person she hated.

“Yeah, I do,” Terra said, pushing himself up to his feet.

She was watching him but he couldn’t quite read her.

He leaned forward to tap the cover of the book. “Good choice,” he said. “I always liked it too.”

If she moved to say anything to him, he didn’t see it. He turned around to head back to the door, Ven scrambling off a stool to follow behind. He at least didn’t say anything as they walked in silence to Terra’s car. The disappointment only sunk in harder the farther he got away from the café. It wasn’t even that it was Aqua, that it was always Aqua - it was only in himself.

He didn’t even care to tell Ven ‘I told you so’ at any point.

--

Dear Bytheseaside,

Of course there is, how silly of me to assume otherwise. I appreciate your level of shamelessness in the least but it would take more than that to drive me off I think. Little brother, remember? I can take a lot of embarrassment. Speaking of, he’s alright. He just graduated high school and will be starting college in the spring much to my dreaded realization that time has gone by way too fast for me. Jokes aside he’s a great kid. Smart and generous, also sarcastic and snarky and sometimes I want to kill him but usually I love him. I think he very well could rival your love for sweets. You two would be peas in a pod honestly.

I mean, I can’t speak five languages in the least. Bits and pieces maybe, but not fluently. I have been around this country quite a bit but also places around the world. My dad traveled a lot before me and my brother so he took use when we were old enough. It’s always been fun, and yes, I have eaten things you’ve probably never dreamed of. It’s actually why my brother is starting college late, we had a trip planned for his graduation that interfered with some deadlines.

I can assure you I’m not a football player or a wrestler, I’m actually not really a sports person. I played in high school cause they made me but I never cared much for it. I’m not seven feet tall either, though maybe a little taller than average; maybe that freaks people out, I don’t know. I like to think I’m pretty mellow. You know, I’m not entirely sure you are capable of that. I’d be afraid to ever let you two in the same room, I may come back to find the place littered with all the sweets you two could find.

Wait, seriously? How did we never know we went to the same school? Let alone live in the same vicinity. You can say small world again. But, yeah, I mean, I’d totally be cool with that! I checked the work schedule and Thursday was already requested off so I can’t take it, but I can meet you after work if that’s okay? I’d actually really like it a lot. I’ll look for the bells and the book!

--

Aqua wasn’t sure if it was the cold weather and busy work schedule mixed with finals last week that knocked her out but all she knew was she tried to get up for work and there was just no way. She never called off but she didn’t have a choice. There was no way to open when she couldn’t even move from her bed; she felt like she got hit by a tuck the way her whole body ached, her nose wouldn’t stop running, she could barely eat anything in her apartment. It was probably for the best, all it would be was a day of sulking when she was supposed to be working. At least home she could pull the blankets over her head and pretend there wasn’t a terrible ache in her heart.

He never came.

She waited for hours, and then more time in hopes he’d walk in and recognize her sitting there. He never did. Aqua kept her phone out in case he messaged her that something came up but nothing, not a word. She didn’t know how to feel; if she should be heartbroken that the person she wanted to meet so badly didn’t feel the same. She worried that something happened to him, or nervous she did something to keep him away.

It only just resulted in her crying alone in her bed most the night, then to wake up with a pounding headache and feeling even more terrible. Aqua hadn’t known it was possible. She felt so stupid sitting there, and even more stupid going home alone, and just so sad. He was also so kind, so interested in what she had to say, so engaging she couldn’t understand what happened. He even sounded like he really wanted to meet her. Was it a lie to make her feel better and he never intended to come? That didn’t sound like him; he was always so open and honest. Still, she figured maybe you can’t always know someone just from the internet.

She reached her hand around the comforter covering her, trying to reach for the tissue box. Her nose was raw from blowing it so much but what else could she do but sit here and feel bad for herself? Tifa offered to come over and talk but Aqua just didn’t feel like talking to anyone. She cracked an eye open to look at her phone but no messages.

Clearly the one person she wanted to talk to didn’t want to talk to her.

She was maybe being melodramatic, she barely knew this person outside from long conversations reaching on for weeks but then again, wasn’t that enough to be able to know someone? Aqua groaned as she pulled the blankets over her head. She didn’t want to think anymore. She just wanted to go to sleep and pretend none of this happened. She should’ve never suggested going to meet him.

Except there was a part of her that still wanted to meet him.

Aqua slowly pulled the blanket down to her chest when she thought she heard something. She tried to listen to the quiet apartment, but there was nothing. No, wait…maybe there was something? Maybe she was delusional too? Someone was knocking on her door? Were they or was she imagining it?

Her phone buzzed and against her better judgment she nearly dove for it. The message waiting for her wasn’t anything like what she expected though.

Terra Hale (Work)

               Aqua, your neighbors are starting to look at me strangely. Can you open the door?

She blinked at the screen, trying to make sure she was reading that right. Yeah, they had each other’s numbers because they had to but he never texted her anything that wasn’t work related and even that was few and far between.

               Wait, are you here? Like at my door?

It wasn’t an unreasonable thing to ask, she didn’t even think Terra knew where she lived let alone ever been here before. Granted, he did use her name so it probably wasn’t a wrong number text.

Terra Hale (Work)

No, I’m asking you to open your door because I’m across town at someone else’s door. Yes, I’m standing here. It won’t take long, I know you’re sick.

Aqua knew she wasn’t feeling well but now she felt like she was in some weird alternative dimension. Was she dreaming? She had to be. Still she found herself kicking her legs over the side of her bed to stand up on shaky legs. Should she let him in? She probably looked like a terrible mess; red faced, red nosed, red eyed, not showered, bed head, the same PJ’s on from last night. Yep, he was probably going to tease her and never let her live this down.

She grabbed a thinner blanket off her bed and wrapped it around her shoulders, hopefully covering some of disheveled state. Aqua didn’t like people seeing her less than at her best, let alone someone who didn’t even seem to like her at her best. She shuffled through her small living room and kitchen to the door. It was still chained shut, so she opened it only as far as the chain went.

Sure enough there was Terra standing there. He was still in his work uniform, typical thin jacket on. He had some sort of bag in his hands but his eyes were glancing down at her before looking up to the chain lock.

“I promise I’m not trying to rob you.”

Aqua hesitated. “Are you here because I called off and made you work?”

His face was almost unreadable but he didn’t look mad, or even annoyed. “No, I’m here because Leon said you called off and you’ve never done that in the time I’ve known you so I figured it was serious.” Terra held up the white plastic bag slightly. “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She wasn’t sure how much she believed him since he never seemed to care about her wellbeing before but Aqua also didn’t want to leave the poor guy just standing there when he hadn’t actually done anything wrong. She reached up to unhook the chain, pulling the door open.

He stepped in, closing the door behind him while Aqua quickly retreated to the kitchen which was closer than the living room.

“Do you, ah, want any…” She paused to reach her arm to her face, sneezing far louder than she wanted to. “Coffee? Tea?”

“No, thank you,” he said, though she was surprised to see a small smile on his lips. “You should go back to bed.”

“I’m fine,” she said, but her nose betrayed her, sounding gross and stuffy. Great, this was just wonderful.

Terra placed the bag on her counter, undoing the knot on the top. “I brought you some soup,” he said, pulling out a large Tupperware contained that looked full to the brim with some sort of chicken soup. “It just needs to be heated up. It’s my dad’s recipe, real good I promise. He used to make it for me and my brother when we were sick too.”

Aqua couldn’t help but eye him as he placed the container in the fridge for her. “Oh, wow, well thank you. You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was nothing,” he shrugged, reaching back for the bag. “I also brought some tea leaves, another special blend my dad always gave us. Do you have a teapot or anything?”

“Ah…” Aqua fiddled with the edge of her blanket. She didn’t know what she was expecting when she let Terra inside but this was absolutely not it. “Yeah, on the stove.”

He turned to grab it, filling it up with some water from the sink. While she wasn’t used to Terra being so…accommodating to her, she knew if she asked him to leave he would but she couldn’t find those words. She was more curious as to why he was being so accommodating; especially after how rude she was to him last night. Guilt swirled in the pit of her stomach, making her feel worse than she already did. She tried to tell herself he deserved it, that he was always abrasive at work so what else was she supposed to do? But at the same time, here he was pulling a mug off her drying rack to put near the tea he brought.

He turned the stove on, the clicks filling the otherwise quiet kitchen. “Go on back to bed, I’ll bring you some when it’s done and get out of your hair.”

She bit down on her lip, watching him as he popped open the container of tea leaves. She never really had tea without a tea bag before; she didn’t even know Terra liked tea. Come to think of it, she didn’t know very much about him in the first place. “I’m fine,” she said again, though she promptly sneezed again.

He looked up from pouring the tea leaves into the mug, a sort of knowing smile on his lips.

“I, um…” Aqua was really unsure what to even say. They never had a conversation without bickering before. “I’ll take your shift tomorrow.” She had to pause to sniffle even if it was incredibly embarrassing. “To make up for making you work today.”

“No need,” he said. “You keep your day off, you may need another day to rest and feel better.”

“No, no, it’s only fai-” Another sneeze. “Fair.”

“You’re clearly exhausted and overworked,” he said, sealing the cap back on the tea. “You need the rest and you need to go back to bed.”

“Really, I’m fi…” she paused when she saw him coming towards her. “Fine, I’m fine.”

He hummed like he really didn’t believe her which he clearly didn’t because the next thing he had picked her up over his shoulder.

“Terra!” she gasped, instinctively reaching down to grab him and keep her balance but she was more amazed at how effortlessly he carried her. She should be furious at him for touching her when she didn’t need to be but instead all she felt was a sort of warmth from his body, it was comforting in a weird way. That someone came out all the way just to take care of her.

It was sweet, even though she never thought to describe Terra that way.

He gently placed her down on her bed moving out of the way as she could only stare up at him in surprise. “I’m sorry if I intruded,” he said holding his hands up slightly. “But if I knew anything about you it was that you probably wouldn’t ask for help and were just sitting here suffering alone. I thought I’d help even a little bit.”

It was sweet, it was really sweet. She even smiled a little bit. “Well, thank you.” Aqua kicked her legs up onto her bed as he reached down to pull the comforter up over her. “I take it as a big brother you know how to take care of someone with a cold?”

He sat down on the edge of her bed, reaching over to briefly place his hand on her forehead. “And a fever, yes.”

She rolled her head on her pillow, looking up to meet his blue eyes. Were they always that blue? That compassionate? She didn’t know.

“Hey,” he said. “Did the person you were supposed to meet ever show up?”

Aqua felt her stomach sink at the mention even though it wasn’t an unusual thing to ask. “No,” she said. “He never did.”

Terra clicked his tongue in thought and she was sure something snarky was about to follow. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. You deserve better than being stood up like that. He’s an idiot for doing that to you.”

Aqua felt like she was staring but she couldn’t help it; of all the things she was expecting that was not it. Who was this and what had he done with Terra? Maybe it always was Terra but she was too stubborn to see the boy who lived behind her coworker. “Ah, well, thank you, that’s sweet of you.”

She paused for a second. On any normal circumstances she would never even consider opening her mouth to say what she was thinking to him, but he was here and he was being so nice, and she was admittedly not in her right mind. “Do you think…” she started, biting down at her lip to voice the one thought she couldn’t get out of her head. “Do you think he was there? And he took one look at me and left? Do you think it was me?”

“No,” Terra said quickly. “I don’t think that would ever be the case. You’re pretty, any guy would be lucky to look in and see you sitting there. Maybe something came up and he wasn’t able to tell you, or maybe he was too nervous to show his face. I don’t think it was you.”

Aqua stared at him; she didn’t expect him to say anything like that to her, not now not ever.

“I’m also, ah…” He glanced away, looking over her probably terribly messy room. “I’m sorry for intruding on you last night.”

“Oh, ah, it’s okay.” She swallowed the lump in her throat. “I was just nervous.”

He opened his mouth to say something but the teapot whistled from the other room. He got up with a slight smile and left her room. Aqua could only watch after him.

This was…a weird day. Seeing this small glimpse of him though…it was just astounding to her; maybe this was the real Terra. Sure he was laid back and didn’t hold the rules as high of a regard as she did, but maybe that was because he was understanding and wanted to give everyone a chance. He never punished Lea for being late, or Sora for mixing up an order, or Kairi for chatting too much but maybe it was because he was empathetic, understanding how and why they did the things they did.

Maybe there was a lot of him she didn’t even know.

“Okay,” he said, coming in with two cups in his hands. “Tea is in the mug though it’s very hot so be careful. Water is in the glass because with a fever, you should stay hydrated.”

The tea smelt so good, herbal spices mixing to remind her of an autumn day. She carefully took the mug from him, the steam and warmth making her feel better already.

He placed the water on her night stand, sticking his hands in his jacket pocket as he looked down at her. “Try and stay in bed and get some sleep. I left the tea leaves out in case you want more and soup is still in the fridge. If you need more or want anything different to eat or anything really, you have my number. I don’t live that far away.”

Aqua looked up at him. She was used to how he looked, how he dressed, his facial expressions, his mannerisms but this time it was like seeing a whole different person. “Thank you, Terra, I really mean it.”

“Any time,” he said, reaching a hand up to wave. “Get some rest.”

“Okay,” she nodded. “See you.”

“Bye.” He gave her a slight smile before turning to leave, the sound of her door closing shut was the last thing she heard of him.

What had seriously just happened? She could barely wrap her mind around it as she sipped on her tea. A part of her still wondered if she was dreaming but as she looked down at her quiet phone she did realize one thing.

At least for a little bit she stopped wondering why her friend hadn’t messaged her about last night.

--

Dear OftheShire,

I do hope all is well and nothing serious happened that caused you not to be able to make it. Maybe there was a misunderstanding somewhere along the way (maybe we really weren’t talking about the same schools?). Whatever the case, I hope I haven’t done anything that would’ve kept you away. I’d feel terrible if I made you feel pressured or scared in any way. All I really wanted to do was talk to the person whose company I’ve been enjoying so much!

I hope this doesn’t change anything between us because I would greatly miss being friends with you. If you thinking meeting in person is a bad idea, I’ll never bring it up again! Things can completely stay the same between us here.

I do hope all is well though. Just let me know so I don’t worry too much about you!

--

It was strange how you could go from barely thinking about someone to go to never getting them out of your mind. Maybe it was because Terra finally stopped distinguishing Aqua, the girl he worked with from Aqua, the girl he really liked online. They were both the same people, and he could see that now clearly. He never bothered to before, but seeing the soft look in her eyes as she asked him if he thought it was her that made her date run away, slipping Xion some money so she could go buy herself a sugary coffee, watching how she helped the seven year old girl pick out a present for her mom, how Aqua sang along with the radio when she thought no one was looking, the grin on her face when she teased Lea for flirting with customers again, it was all the same Aqua.

He couldn’t believe he never saw it before.

The few days she was gone from work to recover dragged on and on. He wanted to check up on her but he didn’t want to intrude, once was enough for his heart that nearly pounded out of his chest the entire time he was there. He hoped she’d text him but she never did. He knew he could respond to her waiting message but it didn’t feel right; not after what he did, not after what he knew. Terra felt terrible lying to her even at her apartment but he just didn’t know what he could say that would make any of this right.

He tried to when she did come back to work but all that came out was asking her if she needed more tea and that the magazines looked like a tornado went through them. Terra never admitted to be very smooth.

No, instead he found himself just sort of lingering around the store, trying to keep to himself or help her and the other kids when they needed it. Thankfully with only one week till Christmas left they were swamped at all times and he could keep busy enough to take his mind off the beautiful girl he worked with, the one who made him so happy without even knowing she did.

How had he been so blind?

“Oh, yes, ma’am, its right over here,” Aqua said from around the corner.

Terra leaned around the end of the bookshelf he was doing a quick stock of to see her walking with another woman to one of the bookshelves that lined the walls.

“It’s a beautiful book,” Aqua continued. “Full of beautiful pictures and descriptions, great for any fan.” She reached up to the top shelf to grab some sort of movie art book but the stock was low and she was a little too short to reach it on her own. “Popular as well,” she chuckled as she tried to strain a little harder to grab it with no luck.

Terra left the books he had in his hands on the shelf, moving over to where Aqua was still struggling. He reached over her head to grab the book with no effort. “Here you go,” he said, passing it to Aqua.

She had turned around to look at him, a little too close, he could feel the warmth of her body against his. There was this look in her eyes, one he couldn’t quite read but it melted into that customer service smile. “Thank you,” she said, turning again to hand the book to the customer. “We have to keep some tall employees here just for that.”

The woman smiled her thanks and went to leave, vanishing in the rest of the crowd of customers. Terra knew he should get back to his own work, but he was frozen when Aqua exhaled, leaning back against the bookshelf as she looked back up at him. “I am exhausted.”

“I know the feeling,” he said, reaching a hand up behind the back of his head.

“You need a break?” she asked a sort of concern wrinkling her forehead. “I can hold the fort down.”

“Oh, no, I’ll be fine but feel free to take it if you need it. I can handle it just fine.”

While before it may’ve ended up in more bickering, now she merely laughed. “I appreciate it, Terra, but I’ll be okay too. I guess we’re better as a team out here anyways.”

He blinked at her, not quite getting what she meant, but she glanced upwards at the top shelf. “Ah, yeah, need those tall arms don’t you?”

“I used to think I was tall for a girl, and then I met you.”

“Ah, what can I say? Born to be a sports person.”

“Were you?”

“No,” he laughed. “I never cared much for playing or watching them.”

She looked at him with that unreadable look again. It wasn’t bad he didn’t think, he just wasn’t sure what was going through her head. “Well, I suppose you do like books better.”

“That I do, obviously.” He found his voice lacking the sarcasm he used to talk to her with, mainly because he really did enjoy talking to her. He thought maybe she felt the same because she was much less abrasive with him ever since he brought her the soup. Maybe it hadn’t been such a bad idea.

She laughed lightly, opening her mouth to say something else but a voice crackled in both their ears, judging by the way Aqua cringed at the same time he did.

“Guys,” Sora whined a little too loudly over the headset. “This customer is angry over a sale. Can one of you come help me?”

Terra reached up to turn his mic on to say he got it but he felt Aqua’s soft touch on his arm.

“I got it, Sora,” she said as she pressed her mic on. “I’ll be right there.”

“Oh, thank Jesus. I think they want to murder me.”

“I would’ve gone,” Terra said. “I know you said you were tired.”

“It’s fine,” she said with the smile he had gotten used to the past few days. “I know you’re not a big confrontation person and I love putting people in their place, especially when they mess with my kids.” She winked at him before going to head to the register.

Terra watched her go and almost pitied the person who yelled at Sora. Almost. Terra moved back to where he was stocking, hoping it would keep distracting him till the store closed and he could get some peace and quiet to clean the store in.

“What happened with you?”

He looked up to see Riku standing at the next shelving unit over. He was straightening but he was also eyeing Terra a little curiously. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

“You and Aqua,” Riku said, gesturing vaguely in the direction Aqua was last in.

Terra arched an eyebrow. “Are you spying on me, kiddo?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” Riku said, leaning over to fix the next shelf down. “More like it’s so obvious everyone’s been talking about it.”

Terra froze. “Talking about what?”

“That you guys actually get along now. Some have, ah, interesting theories.”

“People like Lea and Kairi, I’ll guess?”

Riku snorted and that was enough of an answer. “It’s just you guys used to fight-flirt a lot, like we all couldn’t tell if you hated each other or liked each other but now you guys…I don’t know, seem happy?”

Terra decided he’d ignore the fact the employees apparently talked about his and Aqua’s relationship dynamics (and referred to it as flirting none the less). “Huh, I mean nothing really changed.”

“I don’t think that’s true. Something changed somewhere.” Riku crouched down but looked up towards Terra. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s a good thing, I don’t think I’ve ever seen either of you smile so much especially around this time of the year when you’re stuck at work. Whatever it is, I’m glad to see you happy.”

Terra knew something changed in himself, and maybe because of his attitude change, it made Aqua feel better about him but he didn’t think it was that apparent to everyone else. “Well, thanks I guess but nothing’s really changed. I guess we just learned how to work with each other.”

Riku made some sort of noise of acknowledgement but otherwise went back to straightening the books. Terra tried to do the same but he couldn’t focus on what went where. He couldn’t see or hear Aqua but he was so aware of her presence. There was no going back for him now, not when he knew it was her. He knew why she made him happy but the disappointment she’d feel knowing he was the person she was waiting to hear back from was enough to make him look back to his job.

He knew he had to tell her, lying to her only made him feel worse every day. It would both ruin the relationship they had, and the one that was only just growing but he had to make it right to her. She deserved that and so much more.

--

Dear Bytheseaside,

I’m not sure I have words to apologize to you. I could sit here and make excuses all day long but the truth is I have none. I’m the one who chickened out and in the end couldn’t face you. There was nothing you did wrong; I can assure you of that. I’m not quite as outgoing as I may come across and the thought of facing you made me turn away. Then in turn, the thought of facing you in shame of what I’ve done got me delaying in telling you what happened.

I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me to meet again but I still would like to make it up to you. The large Christmas tree in the center of West Town Mall, it’s beautiful you know? I know how much you love Christmas (and hate the cold so this is inside). If you have time maybe the day before Christmas Eve,  I’ll wait for you there. I know you typically work nights so after closing.  I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t want to show up, but this time I promise I’ll be there. I can’t promise I’ll wear bells in my hair, but I think you’ll know me when you see me.

--

Aqua couldn’t get the nervous buzz out of the pit of her stomach, which meant it was probably bad to be walking back into the store with more coffee for herself, but she couldn’t help it. She balanced the tray and a couple bags of food past some customers who were digging through the bargain bin, more running to grab last minute presents all around her. Thankfully she made it to the backroom without anyone running into her and spilling either coffee cup.

Terra was already sitting at the table, fiddling with his phone. She smiled as the door swung behind her; at least the nice thing about working the day before Christmas Eve was the boss was here all day and she could take her break at the same time as him tonight.

“Ta-da,” she said, placing the tray down on the table. “Surprise caffeine.”

“Bless you,” he said, leaving his phone on the table. “But you seriously didn’t have to get me anything, Aqua.”

“It was nothing.” She waved him off before reaching for one so she could read the markings. “I figured you were as dead on your feet as I was.”

“You’re right there.”

“Just today and tomorrow,” she said, handing him the one marked with nothing but coffee in it. “Then a day off.”

“Yeah, until we have to come back for all the after-Christmas sales.” He took the coffee from her, but his fingers were warmer than she expected, making her jump just a little when they brushed against her hand.

“Optimism, Terra, c’mon now.” Aqua sat down in the chair across from him, thankful to not be on her feet even for a little bit. She brought the warm coffee up to her lips, hoping it would help her lingering exhaustion.

He snorted but he didn’t say anything else as he sipped carefully at his own drink.

“Oh, here, this too.” Aqua grabbed one of the food bags to peek into it before sliding it over to him.

He choked slightly, probably out of surprise. “You’re too much. You know you don’t have to make sure I eat, right?”

She hummed, grabbing her own bag before leaning back again. “I don’t know, you look like someone who would forget to eat.”

It was the strangest thing. Where she once didn’t even like having to share the same space as him, she found herself standing at the café in the mall wondering what Terra would like off the menu. She admittedly didn’t know and had to guess completely, but so far he was drinking the black coffee with no complaints as he peeked into the bag curiously.

“It was the least sweet thing I could find,” she explained, pulling out her own pastry which she made sure was the polar opposite.

It was like the thought surprised him as he looked back up to her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she chuckled, pulling off a piece of her pastry to pop in her mouth. “It’s the holidays, there’s been cookies and pies and cakes galore back here and you’ve never touched any of them. I figured you didn’t really like sweets too much.”

“Ah, well, you’re right,” he said, placing the pastry on top of the bag, a sort of smile on his lips. “Thank you for thinking of me.”

“Of course, we have to survive all this madness together.”

He hummed in response, leaning back in his chair as he carefully ate the pastry she brought him.

Aqua wasn’t quite sure how it happened. She didn’t know how she went from trying to ignore him as best she could at work to actually looking to see if his name was on the schedule with her. Almost just as surprising was the disappointment she felt when they were scheduled separate. Was he always this sweet and kind and she just never saw it? Did she ever give him the chance to understand he just operated on a different level than she did?

She didn’t know. All she knew was she regretted the way she treated him before. Ever since he brought her food when she was sick, she couldn’t get him out of her head. Even going so far as to having the desire to text him for no reason other than she wished she could see him more than just at work when they were so busy and never really got a chance to say much. She did stop trying to always take control of things, knowing that no matter what he was doing he’d do it to the best of his abilities, even if it was a much quieter way than she’d do it. She actually found his presence with her more comforting than anything, knowing he’d be there if she needed it. Aqua didn’t know why, because she didn’t deserve it in the least but it was a nice thing.

Also a very conflicting thing as she was supposed to meet the person she had been talking to for months again tonight.

“Something on your mind?” he asked.

Aqua blinked as she remembered she was still sitting at the table staring down at her food. His was already gone, just crumbs remaining as he went back to his drink. “Ah, nothing important,” she said, reaching to pick at her pastry.

Terra tipped his cup to his lips, gesturing with his hand for her to continue. Did she mention how easy it was to talk to him, too? For all the bickering they used to do, she found conversation with him so easily. He was quiet but always attentive, like nothing she said ever bored him. Why did they used to fight so much? Aqua couldn’t even begin to remember.

“I’m well, I’m supposed to meet that guy again tonight.” The nerves tightened in her stomach just at the thought, making her otherwise delicious food seem unappealing.

Terra arched his eyebrows. “Is that a bad thing?”

“I don’t know,” she groaned, her head falling backwards some.

“Did he at least apologize to you?”

She nodded. “Yeah, he didn’t really tell me what happened other than it was on him, and that he wanted to try for a second chance.”

“Do you think he deserves it?”

“Everyone deserves a second chance,” Aqua said, maybe a little too quickly judging by the way her heart leapt up into her throat with Terra’s eyes on her. “I just…I don’t know.”

Terra leaned forward, placing his cup on the table. “In the end it’s up to you. You seemed really upset when he stood you up last time. You have every right not to want to put yourself through that again.”

She hesitated. “Do you think I should go?”

“It’s not my choice to make,” he laughed lightly. “It’s up to you and how you feel. If you still feel like you want to meet this person then go, if you don’t feel like you can trust them after what happened then don’t. Don’t ever feel forced to do something just because you think it’s what other people want.”  

Did she still want to? She knew there was a part of her that did, who wanted to meet the person she had so many wonderful conversations with, who made her feel light and warm, happy even when she otherwise might not’ve felt those things. Yet, there was another part of her who was aware there was a person sitting in this room who also had the ability to make her feel that way, who took care of her when he absolutely didn’t have to, who kept the kids at the store out of trouble because he knew they meant well, who did anything without a complaint.

“You’re right,” she said, bringing her coffee back up to her lips. Their break would be over in any second, and she’d have to go back to work and try to not be distracted…by a lot of things.

Terra seemed accepting enough with her answer as he leaned back in his chair. Granted that didn’t last too long as the door swung open.

Xion had her head popped in. “Boss said break’s up, sorry, guys.”

“It’s fine, be right there,” Aqua said, moving to shove the rest of her pastry in her mouth (that absolutely got a chuckle from Terra). She grabbed her coffee to take with her as she stood; she was hiding it behind the counter, they could pry it from her cold, dead hands.

“Hey, Aqua?”

She paused, turning back to Terra who was standing but not really making any other move to leave. “Yeah, what’s up?”

He looked a little unsure, and for a moment she thought he was going to tell her not to go (or hoped? She wasn’t quite sure). “I’m sorry, about how I’ve treated you in the past. It was, ah, really wrong of me.”

Despite the fact she was about to head back to the floor on one of the busiest nights of the year, she couldn’t hold back her smile at his sweet sentiment. “You don’t have to apologize, Terra. I wasn’t always very kind either, so I’m sorry about that.” She paused for a moment, well aware Xion was probably about to stick her head back in to get them moving. “I’m glad it’s not like that anymore though.”

“Me too.”

Aqua barely had time to register the sort of sweet smile on his lips as she pulled open the door, her head instantly filled with Christmas music and the noise that came with a packed store. She did think about how well his smile fit his face, how sincere he was in a simple apology as she bustled around trying to assist where she could and keep the customers happy. It really didn’t help her choice she had to make, it only made it even harder.

In the end, once the store was cleaned and closed up, she bid farewell to her coworkers and walked down the nearby stairs to the first floor of the mall. She could’ve gone to her car and left, but at the same time she couldn’t abide having him feel the same way she did just the week before. Aqua wasn’t sure what she’d say or what she’d do, if she even felt the same way she did before but in the very least he was her friend and he deserved to be treated with respect.

The tree was so big it reached the second floor of the mall, all filled with garland, ornaments, lights, and bows. It really was beautiful. Usually it was filled with lines of kids coming to see Santa but now it was empty, the lights twinkling and soft music playing over the radio. No one else was there, and she tried not to feel the familiar sink of disappointment.

Aqua moved to walk around the tree, to see if anyone else was waiting around the other side. No one, not even lingering mall shoppers, everyone was gone already. She sighed, reaching to her pocket for her phone to see how long she should wait before leaving this endeavor too. She stopped short when she heard footsteps in her direction.

Her heart was in her throat when she looked up but it really didn’t clear anything up. “Terra?” she asked, as he continued to walk up to her. “Did you forget something?”

He had his hands in his jacket pockets, his shoulders hunched slightly. He had keys so she wasn’t sure why he’d need her if he forgot something in the store but still he didn’t stop till he was standing in front of her. The look on his face was a little unreadable, but he looked more nervous than anything.

It was that moment Aqua realized while she told Terra she was supposed to meet her friend tonight, she never actually said where.

“I know I said you’d know me when you saw me,” he said, reaching a hand up to the back of his neck. “But I realized you never did before, so I suppose I probably should’ve brought bells or something.”

Aqua felt her purse fall off her shoulder but she made no move to get it, she could only bring her fingers up to her mouth as she stared at him. It made sense; it made way too much sense for her to have never seen it before. Everything she knew about her friend she knew in Terra too, right down to how gentle and caring she always thought him to be.

“I’m sorry for lying to you,” he said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that night either. I just…didn’t want you to feel disappointed that in the end it was me.”

“Terra,” she choked. The emotions swirling through her made tears pricked her eyes in a wave of relief that she didn’t even know she was looking for till he was standing there; that the person she looked forward to seeing at work was the same person she waited for each message from. “I couldn’t…I wanted it to be you.”

He didn’t seem to be expecting that, nor did she expect to put her hands on his face, bringing herself up to press her lips to his. Terra recovered from his surprise enough to reach a hand to her face, the other to her back, pulling her in.

She heard the Christmas music playing lightly, the smell of pine and cinnamon, the lights behind her eyes but mostly she felt the familiar warmth he brought her, his gentle hands against her as he kissed her back. For the first time since she met him, both at work and through their messages, everything just felt simply right.

[cesium-sheep]

I think all I did was crochet and write down zine ideas yesterday, and only cuz it’s fun. successfully took a day off! (I also finished 3-star-ing all the base game levels of conduct this which means I have no more train game ;n; and gave in and got the coins to finish the winter search page thing for 2 dots, which means I don’t have any more items to search for there either ;;n;; maybe I should replay hidden folks)

today I:

watered plants

washed dishes

crocheted

went to barnes and noble (they didn’t have the book I wanted)

ordered the book I wanted (the new volume of yona came out on tuesday)

went to work

checked mail

argued with alex (he wasn’t able to ask for reassurance very clearly and I wasn’t able to give it specifically enough, then I pulled some at the threads that I noticed underneath it)

fixed some tags

looked up a medication

yesterday arin updated the gofundme for mochi. today they called the vet to ask if there were any rules against sending them flowers (there aren’t) and had to deal with a sudden friend request from a Very Unwelcome Person.

[lovemesomesurveys]

How is your neck feeling today? It’s fine. It’s my back that is really acting up tonight. When was the last time you used deodorant? Yesterday. Have you ever worn color contacts? Nope. I haven’t worn any contacts. Who was the last person that wanted to beat you up? No one that I know of... When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Yesterday.

Have you ever hurt yourself because of love? Yes. What flavor is your toothpaste? Minty. How do your eyes feel? Tired. When did you last vacuum? I don’t do the vacuuming, it would be difficult for me to do. My mom recently vacuumed, though. Do you look good in hats? I like to wear them.  Do you ever delete people off your myspace? I’m sure I did sometimes. Back in those days I used to add people I didn’t know as well just cause it was all about having the most “friends.” I did those follow train thingies lol. Who was the last person to sleep over? My aunt for a few days a couple weeks ago. What’s the stupidest thing you’ve done in the past two weeks? I do a lot of stupid things. Can you touch your thumb to your pinky around your wrists? Yes. How does your stomach feel? It’s alright at the moment. When was the last time you burped? Earlier. When was the last time you had the hiccups? A couple days ago. Did you get anything in the mail today? Nope. Have you ever eaten breakfast for dinner? Yeah, we do that sometimes. What’s the last thing you saw outside your window? Currently I can’t see anything cause it’s 1AM and super dark outside, but the view out my window is just a tree and the fence. When you listen to music, how high is the volume? High enough. I don’t need to have it blaring. When was the last time you went to an amusement park? 3 years ago. Who did you last make fun of? Myself. Who did you last take a picture of? My myself on Snapchat. Do you believe in God? Yes. Have you ever been in a hospital for more than 3 weeks? Yeah, I’ve had to spend months in the hospital a few times. Do you shave your arms? No. What are you doing today? Same ol’ stuff. When is the next time you are going to take a shower? Tomorrow. Are you in love with anyone? No. Are you waiting for something to load? Nope. Who did you last mail a letter/post card to? We sent a postcard to one of my uncles recently. Do you like tap water? No. What’s your favorite ride at Disneyland? There’s so many, I love Disneyland. Soarin’ Over California and Pirates of the Caribbean are definitely a couple of the ones at the top of my list. What is the last liquid you drank? Water. Have you ever heard the assumption song? No. Have you ever mowed a lawn? No. What is your least favorite color? Brown. If you were a neon color, what color would you be? Pink perhaps. Are there any special events coming up? No. Is there anything in your hair? A hair tie and a scrunchie. Do you have a bookshelf full of books? I do. What’s the last video game you played? Secret Files 2 on Nintendo Switch. Did anyone sleep in your bed with you last night? Nope. Do you have a job? No. Do you ever wish you were someone else? I would just like to be an improved version of myself. Do you like animal print? Not to wear. I do love my giraffe print body pillow, though. Have you ever cracked your head open? Ahhh, no. What was your last surgery for? It was intestinal related. Do you like sea horses? No. What do you think of the Jonas Brothers? I was a huge fan back when they first came out and remained one until they broke up, but I kept up with Joe and Nick’s solo artist careers as well. Now they’re back together with a new album and they’re touring, and it’s pretty cool seeing them back together again. I really like their new CD. Where were you planning on going this summer? Summer is overrrrrr. Does anyone in your family have an alcohol problem? Not in my immediate family. Who is your newest cousin? One of my cousins had a baby almost a year ago. What is your favorite way to describe a not-so-smart person? Uh. Do you flirt a lot? No. It’s been so long since I’ve attempted to flirt at all. Why were you last dizzy? Just reading or saying the word will do it, thanks. Is there a tv in your room? Yep. Do you have an itch? Now I do. Thanks again. What do you think about chainmail? I haven’t received chainmail since the AOL days back in the early 2000s.  Are you waiting for someone to text you back? No. If some random person were to call you right now, who would it be? It would be a random person. Are you wearing socks? Yep. What do people compliment you most on? If anything about me physically, then it’s on my hair. Well, when it’s been recently dyed and styled and looks nice anyway. No one would compliment this mess I have now. Otherwise, it’s typically about a purse I have or shirt I’m wearing. How do you want to die? Blah.

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 071821

18 July, 2021

Dear Dad--

I shall tell you an epic tale of internet loss! Here's what happened: When we went to bed last Monday night, we had no internet. No big deal, it just goes out sometimes. Still didn't have internet when we woke up on Tuesday, and we continued to be without it all day Tuesday. Then I got off work, and called them, and spent about two and a half hours dealing with them, before the call mysteriously dropped, and I decided not to deal with it any more on Tuesday.

In the two and a half hours I spent failing to reestablish my internet connection on Tuesday, a lot of the problem was explained to me. Firstly, whenever they access my information by my phone number, my Austin, Texas Time Warner shit comes up, and they immediately feel lost in the twilight zone, because I'm in Maine, and have been for some time. Once we get through that shit, and they find our current account, then we have to verify our address. Here's where the stupidity awakens and begins doing yoga to loosen up for the arduous work ahead.

When we moved here, we couldn't get them to give us internet service. We tried so hard, in so many long phone calls, to give them our money, but they refused, because our address doesn't exist. There CAN'T be a trailer 1A, there can only be numbers. If you include a letter, the way 1-A includes a letter, it breaks the whole fucking internet. The guy who represents the leasing company that owns the trailer we're renting even went down to the local Spectrum office and talked to them in person, and it still didn't work, until this one time when we called and got that one guy, the One Right Guy, who knew how to make it work.

The way he made it work was by taking note of the fact that trailer 2 appeared empty (It was not.) and he could just put "Trailer 2" in the address, which made it work, and he could give instructions to the installation pukes that it was actually 1A who needed the connection, not trailer 2. And I was there when the pukes showed up, so I was able to make sure they ran the cable to the proper physical location. And after that, all the mail we got from them said we were trailer 2, and had pissy notes written on it by the mailman asking us to correct it.

But we couldn't correct it, because that breaks the whole internet, if you'll recall, so we found a solution: We went with paperless billing! No more mail from Spectrum, our internet providers.

Then, few days ago, someone associated with trailer 2 requested a termination of service, and sure enough, Spectrum came and shut off the cable/internet to us in trailer 1A, because of the intentionally obfuscated trailer number bullshit.

And they can't just turn us back on, because trailer 2 now has service going with Spectrum, and 1A still doesn't exist! Never fear, they assured me, in the most recent phone call. They can create my address in their system, update everything so that it all has the correct trailer number (1A) on it, and even give us a new, cheaper deal on our next 12 months of internet, EXCEPT!!! When they're creating a new address, they have to physically send someone out to do a required thing, and there's no way around that. The guy still tried to upsell me on a complete cable/internet/phone package, and asked me lots of questions about what I watch, and how much, and what I pay for my phone each month, etc. I found a genuinely sweet and non-sarcastic way of telling him, "We ain't gonna talk about that."

That last phone conversation was yesterday, Wednesday, and now it's Thursday, and they'll be coming by to hook us up between 11:00 a.m. and 1:00 p.m. There's a chance I may be charged a couple of fees for the installation, but the Spectrum puke on the phone said he'd make sure we either (a) didn't get charged for it, or (b) get immediately reimbursed for all of it. We'll see how THAT goes, and it's almost time for the installation person to show up.

Okay, the installation person has come and gone. His reaction when I explained why he was there was priceless! He couldn't believe that our internet had been working fine until they switched it off by mistake and he STILL had to come out here and physically do stuff? Crazy talk! They should have fixed it over the phone! Zach and I both assured him that the nice phone pukes at Spectrum tried that many, many times, but since we were a whole new address being created, someone had to come survey the blah blah blah, and he basically said, "Yeah, that's bullshit."

Having said that, he DID have to take our combination cable modem/router away, and replace it with two devices, a cable modem, and a router. We had one combined device, a single black rectangular thing, and now we have two: a black rectangular thing, and a WiFi router that looks like it dispenses febreeze into the air, but it actually dispenses the internet. They really should make it dispense both; I know we have the technology to make that possible.

###

Now a couple of days have passed, and we continue to have speedy, reliable internet. I’ve been bemoaning our lack of adventure lately, but when it comes time for adventure to happen, we tend to want to stay indoors instead. I am working on fixing this! I’ve determined that a lot of my recent depression has been the result of all the isolation over the past year and a half, so I’m now attempting to do more stuff with other people. I have a goal here, too: to be able to have a New Year’s Eve party at our trailer with at least 5 or 6 fun people in attendance. So far I’m up to about 3 fun people, but I’ve got a few months to go, still.

Here’s something I’ve been experiencing some dread about: tomorrow I begin working at the casino full time. I haven’t worked full time since Progressive, years ago, and I’m worried that it’ll rob me of my sanity. I think I’m going to be okay, however! Because, as I predicted, nine hours at the casino doing audits isn’t the same as nine hours at the call center being shat upon by anxious car accident victims. Now the only person who poops on me is my boss, and then, only if I mess up something in a particularly regrettable fashion. Otherwise, my work is free from anyone giving me poop. It’s a refreshing change.

Also I’ve got a hearing aid-type thingy. Getting hearing aids is expensive, even with insurance, and I found a sort of middle ground option. They make a thing called an Olive Smart Ear. Basically, it’s a hearing aid that you can set up at home, and because (I assume) no doctor is involved in the process, they can’t legally call it a hearing aid. It’s called a conversation enhancing ear bud. Woo!

Anyway, the Olive Smart Ear isn’t really intended to be used in pairs. But when you get it, and charge it up, and stick it in  your ear, and you install the phone app, you can give yourself a hearing test. It shoots tones to your ear, and you press a button on your phone when you hear the tone. Then it adjusts the gizmo to suit your particular areas of hearing loss, and bam, something resembling a hearing aid but cheaper, with no doctor visit. You can also switch between three modes: normal living mode, conversation mode (background shit is muted) and television mode (TV shit is amplified).

I’ve spent some time wearing it and noticed a few things. First of all, I can hear all my S sounds really loud now, and I hit those Ss too hard, and it makes me sound lispy. I don’t wish to sound lispy any more than I ever wished to sound southern, so I shall work on that. Also, everything makes sounds. The remote to the projector TV makes little clicky sounds I never heard until now. Everything we own makes little clicky sounds. The air conditioner in the living room makes deafening jet engine sounds. But the hearing aid gizmo itself is kind of cool, all black with a couple of glowing lights. The whole thing is a button! You jam it in your ear, and tap and hold to turn it on, tap and hold longer to pair it with your cell phone app, tap and hold longer to turn it off. Quick tape to lower volume, quick double-tap to increase volume. It’s very futuristic. Plus, now I can hear a mouse get a hard-on.

More next week. All my love to you both!

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Friday 22 July 1836

7 ½

12

no kiss fair but dull and F60° at 9 10 at which hour breakfast - wrote out before breakfast the last 39 lines of yesterday - breakfast at 9 10 - sent off George with my letters written last night - (will be in London at 7 am tomorrow by the new mail) to ‘the honourable Lady Stuart’ to ‘the Lady Stuart de Rothesay’ and to ‘Lady Gordon 34 Hertford street’ should have been Lady Duff Gordon - vid. last night - A- did her French - we set out at 10 10 to the Conery - left A- with Matty to try to make puff-paste - made a gooseberry tart, Matty having bought butter that the experiment might not be known at home - I with Wood + 4 at the cave-embankment till A-‘s return about 11 ½ then walked with her in the garden till after 12 - small gentle rain all the while till about 12 10 when we came in from the heavy rain which lasted till about 1 ½ - sat till then with A- in the blue room hearing her read chapter 3 volume Echards’ Rome then wrote the above of today - and from about 1 ¾ to 3 wrote 3 pp. and ends to M- (Lawton) - thanks for her letter received last night - sorry to hear she had been such a sufferer from inflammation of the trachea - have felt a tendency to it myself - have only kept it off by great care - wearing a piece of flannel and 2 double silk handkerchiefs round my throat all the winter, and a smaller piece of flannel and 1 double silk handkerchief now - tell M- change of air will do her good - Wiesbaden a nice little place - she may go there easily, and take her sister Ann and not be ruined - has only to write to the secretary of the Rotterdam steam pocket office Hull to inquire the times of starting prices etc and desire a proper passport and to be forwarded to Wiesbaden - say what I can on the subject of the Sweatenhams spending next winter in Paris or Versailles - the latter perhaps 1/3 or ½ cheaper in house rent and housekeeping - the court not there - the sort of difference this makes is intelligible - the élite of society in Paris as in London fastidious - the same credentials required in both places - connexions (rank) wealth, or beauty - or talent if agreeable and if it be of that sort that mixes well with fashionable life - should as soon hope to prescribe successfully for hydrophobia as for 2 to get into society’ - know nothing of masters - Madame Galvani has for sometime been above the necessity of teaching not certain that she is in Paris - living at an hotel as M- knows is not the cheapest or commonest plan for a family - should advise going to Paris in good time - to get in a stock of wood, wine etc - to go in October as early in the month as convenient - ask M- to write to Mrs. Bull for cook-housekeeper, housemaid, footman and married gardener - give A-s’ kind regards and say we shall be thankful to have, as soon as possible, the ‘good sort of body’ M- recommends and who can stay till April - (going afterwards to Mr. Crewe) if Mrs. Bull does not provide us before that time - mention George’s going - say we have just determined that we cannot get off from here much before Xmas - but assign no reason - A- copied my letter while I out at 3 till 6 20 at the Low fishpond with Wood sodding and puddling about the cave - the flat face-stone and the 2 lumpy stone put up this morning so as to finish the bit of rock-work about the cistern - in the walk - at the Cave again till came in at 6 20 - wrote and sent tonight my letter to ‘Mrs. Thompson, opposite the George hotel, coney street, York post paid’ and sent off my letter to ‘Mrs. Lawton Lawton hall, Lawton Cheshire’ -dinner at 6 ¾ - coffee - sat talking to A- parcel from Messrs. Parker and Adam containing copy of Mrs. Ferguson’s will and letter from Mr. Netherwood and copy of his a/c with Mrs. F- and claiming payment of interest as usual - short note from Mr. Adam merely an invoice of the contents of the parcel - read the will as I sat with my aunt from 9 to 10 - £1200 left to the older daughter Mary and £800 to the younger Ellen - the older recommended to pay  funeral and just debts - let her settle with Mr. N- I have nothing to do with him - wrote rough draft of note to Messrs. P- and A- to this effect, to go tomorrow - till 10 35 (in the drawing room) wrote all but the first 10 ½ lines of today - fair but dull, till about 11 am afterwards all the rest of the day and evening perpetual shower very heavy rain from about 12 10 to 1 ½ - F48° and fair at 11 10 pm after having written note to Mr. Jubb enclosing £20 (for my aunt and A- and myself) and having written note to Messrs. P- and A- both notes to go by John Booth in the morning

[timespakistan]

Paris in Sadequain | Art & Culture Great books have something personal for everyone. They extend a private passage to every individual who opens them. Albert Camus’s most celebrated novel The Stranger (also translated as The Outsider) reached me via an unusual route. First, I came across Kamel Daoud’s novel The Meursault Investigation. I read The Stranger after finishing the Algerian writer’s book that presents the point of view of the unnamed Arab in Camus’s tale. The story, well known to every lover of literature, is about a man swaying in the web of time, events and situations. Sadequain once commented that to some extent, perhaps, the main character represented Camus himself. In any case, as with every classic, a reader is bound to identify with the protagonist, even if the setting, period and other details are different. The existentialist angst portrayed by Camus is shared by humans across the globe. The opening line of the book: “Mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.” sends a shudder down any reader’s spine. Sadequain is connected to The Stranger in another way. During his stay in Paris, after winning the Artists Under 35 award in the second Paris Biennale, he was commissioned to produce lithographs for a special edition of L’ Etranger in 1964. In a letter to his nephew Sultan Ahmed, dated January 29, 1964, Sadequain informs him about his selection out of several Parisian artists. In other letters to the family, there are updates on his work, its reception and admiration; and its launch “on October 27, 1966, at a gala dinner held at the Place de la Concorde”. He “created 35 images for the book; 22 colour lithographs to illustrate key scenes in the text (one frontispiece, 18 full page, 3 double page), and 13 monochrome lithographs to mark the end of each chapter”. These works, along with a number of preparatory sketches and watercolours and an illustrated menu for the book launch, were displayed in the exhibition Sadequain: The Stranger in Paris, held from March 29 to April 23, at Grosvenor Gallery, London. Art galleries, look to unearth some unknown hero, an unsung painter, an underestimated sculptor, a long forgotten photographer, but Grosvenor Gallery has reintroduced a side of celebrated Sadequain – his illustrations, for one of the 100 greatest books of the 20th Century,that usually are not recalled in his oeuvre. Going through these images, supporting important passages of the volume, one recognises their role in shaping his style. Sadequain depicted scenes: the mother’s funeral; landscape with the blazing sun; Meursault and Marie in the cinema; both embracing on the beach; her visiting Meursault “wearing a pretty dress with red and white stripes and leather sandals”. Other lithographs show groups on seaside; the main character watching city lights from his window; smoking and drinking in the company of his friend Raymond; firing at an Arab who flashed his dagger; meeting his lawyer in the prison; next to a cross brandishing judge; in the cell with insects all over his body; reduced to solitary confinement; encountering the priest in the lock-up. When we read the text and look at the pictures we construct a strong link between the two. Between two individuals also – one a famous author, who died in a car crash in 1960 at the age of 47 after winning the Nobel Prize for Literature, and the other a Pakistani in his mid-thirties and a relatively unknown painter – one could sense a bond although they never met. One presumes that the painter was not well versed in French. It seems, however, that Sadequain understood the book, not as a chain of events, an account of actions, or a sequence of locations, but a landscape of a lost soul. Meursault operated (not acted) in the entire novel like a person possessed; cold, remote, arbitrary, un-redemptive and floundering in a hell made of other people. For Sadequain, the task of illustrating an existentialist text was a Godsend because he belonged to a literary tradition in which man is not free, but an instrument for celestial forces. The entire idiom of Urdu poetry deals with the presence and oppression of an invisible, omnipresent power. The content of The Stranger, would probably not have been strange for Sadequain, who was steeped in a narrative of halaat kay sataye (tormented by the circumstance). One could pick certain pictorial traits of Sedequain that recurred in his later work and helped solidify his identity as early as the mid-1960s. Illustrations for the book have two types of sensibility. Some of these are more realistic (read logical) pictorial expressions: a man and a woman in intimate postures, people gathered at a wake, on an outing, two people interacting, a solitary soul confined by walls, have somewhat believable content. Even though figures and backgrounds are rendered by a hand married to painting, calligraphy was its long-lasting love. Human bodies are drawn, not as solid volumes, but resonating a ‘patty’ like format, composed of layers of calligraphic strokes. The patchwork of lines and strokes, later identified as Sadequain-esque, had its genesis in his Parisian prints. May be one reason for this style was the separation of stones to print each colour. An image was complete only when several impressions of separate slabs were superimposed on a single paper. That linear quality of his aesthetics is visible in these lithographs. Some of them denote activities, settings – as if snapshots of life, justifying the text which is a smooth narrative, and conjure up the environment in a reader’s mind. But as Albert Camus’s book is not a reportage of incidents – it delineates the inner scenario of a person, his thoughts, distance, displacement, demons – in some of his lithographs Sadequain introduced ‘magic reality’ (long before the term becoming the ‘Boom’ in the Latin American literature). One character is seen handing “the mask of the absurd” to another person; a man “forced to live inside the hollow trunk of a dead tree”; the prisoner looking for his smiling face in the metal dish only to find it reflected as serious and grim; and a demon-like figure confronting the convict and hovering over him. Sadequain relied on phantasmagorical vocabulary, like one of the last scenes – in the prison room where the priest and the protagonist are linked by an overarching figure composed of bricks from the prison walls. These works can be viewed as early undertakings bringing the artist into his subject matter. In his later years, Syed Sdequain Naqvi portrayed himself as the headless Sarmad, the fasting Buddha, and Farhad the labouring lover; but in his illustrations for Albert Camus he was also sketching himself in place of Meursault. In a letter mailed on July 31, 1964, Sadequain informs his nephew that “all 25 colour pictures of the book are actually self-portraits”, seconding Cynthia Ozick: “Every biography is, after all, a kind of autobiography”. The writer is an art critic based in Lahore. https://timespakistan.com/paris-in-sadequain-art-culture/17162/?wpwautoposter=1619362826

[skgway]

1832 Nov., Tues. 13

9 10/..

11 35/.. 

Fine morning strong white frost – Fahrenheit 47º at 9 20/.. a.m. – Breakfast with my father and Marian at 9 1/4 in 3/4 hour – Then 1/4 hour with my aunt – Then Hinscliffe came about the coal at the top of the hill – 2 acres

Had heard Rawsons men in the upper or hard bed above them, so that they have been stealing my hard bed. Rawson’s water head hold points in a direction to Coley chapel – If not now they can soon get 100 yards breadth below the present waterhead driven by Oates and Green and Company –

Hinscliffe came to bid me the price given under the old lease £205 per acre. Said this would not do, for I had [given] the other applicants the 1st time of seeing them the price between the 2 leases (£205 and £230 per acre) i.e. £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings] 0. [pence] an acre and I did not intend to take less – H– [Hinscliffe] said that was an advance and he could not bit it without consulting his partners – I said I told him at once that I thought the other applicants could afford to give as much as H– [Hinscliffe] and company could, and that they seemed as if they did not intend to be outbid –

I added that  £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings] 0. [pence] was the price I 1st mentioned to them but that the other day, I had said as they did not agree at first, they would now find me rather worse to agree with and I had not pledged myself to take even £217.[pounds] 10. [shillings] 0. [pence]  per acre – Had had the coal (Lower bed) valued at £300 per acre –

Shewed H– [Hinscliffe] my calculation – (vide top of page 227) – He said they paid their banksmen 1/6 score (corves)  and that I had made no allowance for "straight work" (i.e. water heads and vents cutting, – Driving and preying away which he seemed to think would add to the expense 1 /. [shilling] a score – 

‘Well!’ said I, ‘you see from my present calculation (page 277) the coal at 7 /. [shillings] clear per score = £423. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0. [pence] per acre but 4840/4 yards or 1 acre = 1210 the no. [number] of scores per acre – Now 1210 sixpences additional for the banksman and 1210 shillings for straight work = £90. [pounds] 15. [shillings] 0. [pence] and £423. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0. [pence]  - £90. [pounds] 15. [shillings] 0. [pence] = £332. [pounds] 15. [shillings] 0. [pence]’ and if H– [Hinscliffe] would, as he said, be content with £50 per acre profit then 332. [pounds] 15. [shillings] 0. [pence] - £50. [pounds] 0. [shillings] 0. [pence] = £282. [pounds] 15. [shillings] 0. [pence] the price I ought to have per acre according to his own shewing –

H– [Hinscliffe] owned that the Lower or soft bed in the upper bend was 18 inches thick, tho’ he said at first (but came round afterwards) that 5 corves per square yard was rather too much to reckon – He said too that there would be good 1/2 a corve a yard more § out of the soft bed in the low ground – The bed was prouder – I need not be afraid of more water coming this way – When Rawsons have got more coal 5 or 6 years hence, their coming down so much lower will send the water the other way –

Speaking of Lightcliffe coal, a good deal yet to get in those 2 fields near Lidgate – and the flashes belonging to Miss W– [Walker] bought of Dr. Alexander – Thinks the stone that comes out today at Knoll top is the 3 score yards quarry i.e. 60 yards above our hard or upper bed –

Just as I had written the above, at 1, came note from Miss W– [Walker] and Loudon’s encyclopedia of gardening and 2 volumes of Plutarch’s Lives with the parcel from Mr. Ainsley. She says, 

‘I scarcely believed the parcel would come, but here it is and you will perceive carriage paid. You will do for me about this as you think best in returning it. I am better this morning thanks to you, my love, for it. My heart cannot give utterance to what it would say to you on this subject, but if I do recover my health I shall ascribe the blessing under the mercy of providence to you. Faithfully and affectionately yours AW [Ann Walker] –

What a difference between this note and the last! Went down to my aunt for a few minutes to shew the fine fine Miss W– [Walker] had sent her and off to Lidgate at 2 – Having first written the following to shew to Miss W[alker] 

Lightcliffe Tues[day] 13, November eighteen hundred and 32    

Sir, I am requested by Miss Walker to return the parcel unopened as it must have been sent off before your receipt of my letter of yesterday. I am Sir etc. etc. etc. A Lister (my usual signature) – 

At Lidgate at 2 25/.. – Found them at dinner – Tête-à-tête with Miss W– [Walker] in the dining room from 2 3/4 for an hour – Then an hour with her and Miss Harriet Parkhill in the sitting room and home in 1/2 hour at 5 20/.. – Miss W[alker] looking good spirits and better. Sat on my knee. Kissed her every now and then but nothing more. 

She said she could not express how grateful to me she felt. Shewed her what I had written to him, which she approved. She could not have believed he would have behaved so. Again said she used to feel affection for him but it seemed gone now. I cheered her up. Said she would be better and more able to judge by and by, and then she should try again. 

I wonder what will be her feeling towards me six months hence? Will she let me leave her behind me? Yes, my own mind is quite reconciled to this. I seemed to have ceased to think of, or wish for her, as the future companion of my life. But we now get on better together than we have ever done before. 

Made up the parcel for Mr. A[insworth]. Dinner at 6 10/.. wrote about 1 page of inquiries to Mr. L. Maclean about the basket of Willow cuttings sent off from Coll house by the maid of Morveu Steamer to Glasgow on Monday the 29th ultimo Miss L– [Lister] would be very much obliged to him to say if he had received the basket and by what coach he had forwarded them here (giving my address) mentioned the Glasgow London mail via Leeds as the best –

At 7 sent off by John my letter to "Mr. T. Maclean, 23 Argyle Street Glasgow. North Britain postage paid" and my note on letter to the "Reverend Thomas Ainsworth" enclosed in a parcel directed to the "Reverend Thomas Ainsworth, at Miss Bentley’s, 1 crescent, Salford, Manchester per mail Tuesday 13 November 1832" The parcel contained the drawing room scrapbook and the narrative sent to Miss W[alker] but unopened –

Above 1/2 hour in the other room and returned to the Drawing room at 8 1/4 – In the few minutes of being alone with Miss Parkhill she asked again if I had not heard of Miss Walker’s engagement. ‘No, the report had not reached me.’ Asked the gentleman's name. Well, if was a Mr. Fraser he died at Cheltenham. Must be true. She had heard it at Wakefield, and it came from his mother –

Poor Miss W[alker]. Her secrets are not well kept. But I wonder at Mrs. Fraser –

1/2 corve per square yard = 2 corves per score and there being 1210 scores in an acre ∴

2420 corves at 7 1/2 d [pence] = £75. [pounds] 12. [shillings] 6 [pence] throw off 1/2 this for expense then 75. [pounds] 12. [shillings] 6 [pence] = 37. [pounds 16. [shillings] 3 [pence]

∴ the coal in the low land is worth more by £37. [pounds 16. [shillings] 3 [pence] per acre than the same coal (Lower or soft bed) in the upper land – My uncle was aware of this greater value of the coal in the low land from his selling all pulled at Trough of Bolland slip-in pit at

£230 per acre and all pulled at the Willy hill pit at £205 per acre

Rawson sells upper bed at 7 d [pence] a corve and Lower bed at 8 d [pence] a corve –

1 6d [pence] a corve = 10 /. [shillings] a score

2 7d [pence]_______= 11/8. _______ [11 shillings/8 pence a score]

3 7 1/2d [pence]____= 12/6. _______[12 shillings/6 pence a score]

4 8d [pence]______= 13/4_______ [13 shillings/4 pence a score] throw off 1/2 for exp[ense] th[e]n one ac[re] or 1210 scores

1 at 5 /. [shillings] = £302. [pounds] 10. [shillings] 0 [pence]

2 –  5 /. [shillings] = £342. [pounds] 18. [shillings] 4 [pence]

3 –  6/3. [shillings/pence] = £378. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence]

4 –  6/8. [shillings/pence] = £403. [pounds] 6. [shillings] 8 [pence]

∴ tak[in]g the coal at 7 1/2 a corve £378. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence] – £250 = 128. [pounds] 2. [shillings] 6 [pence] profit to the purchaser at 8      [a corve] £403. [pounds] 6. [shillings] 8 [pence] – £250 = 153. [pounds] 6. [shillings] 8 [pence] [profit to the purchaser]

Had just calculated and written the above at 10 40/.. when after reading the Courier 10 minutes went to my room – Fine frost day – But very thick and hazy – Fahrenheit 45 1/º at 11 p.m. the Duchesse de Berri taken at last – Taken at Nantes –

[in margin] § vide page 289 

[in margin] vide page 288

[in margin] page 298

An Encyclopaedia of Gardening, comprehending the theory and practice of horticulture, floriculture, arboriculture and landscape gardening including ... a general history of gardening in all countries, etc by John Claudius Loudon

Plutarch's Lives,: Translated from the Original Greek, with Notes Critical and Historical, and a New Life of Plutarch

[dailyaudiobible]

06/03/2020 DAB Transcript

2 Samuel 20:14-21:22, Acts 1:1-26, Psalms 121:1-8, Proverbs 16:18

Today is the 3rd day of June welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it's great to be here with you today as we move through the midpoint of the first week of this 6th month of the year that we’re moving into. It is wonderful to be around the Global Campfire with you today. And today we're moving into some new territory in the New Testament. We concluded the Gospels yesterday, which means that we will move into the book of Acts today and we’ll talk about that when we get there but we’re not quite there yet. In the Old Testament we are continuing our journey along the side King David and learning of his reign. So, we’re reading from the God's Word Translation this week. Second Samuel chapter 20 verse 14 through 21 verse 22.

Introduction to the book of Acts:

Okay. So, like we were talking about at the beginning we are moving into some new territory in the New Testament today. Yesterday we finished up the Gospels - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. And I was telling you if you're using the Daily Audio Bible app and you’ve been checking off the boxes than we get the Gospels achievement yesterday. And I love that. So, that shows us that we’re ending a certain section of the Scriptures moving into a more historical account of the early church. This is a new era, the beginning of the church era. That's the era that we’re in right now. We’re with just a couple of thousand years into it. The book of Acts sort of unpacks what happened after Jesus ascended, after he returned to the Father. And in a lot of ways we could call this book that we call the Acts of the apostles, this could almost be second Luke because Luke and Acts share the same author and that is thought to be Luke who was a physician. So, if you read the book of Luke and then immediately read the book of Acts you see they’re like volume 1 and volume 2 and this vast accounting of Jesus life and ministry and of the repercussions of that ministry and the reverberations that happened after His ascension. So, the first chapters of the book of Acts we’ll…we’ll get to understand the ministry of the apostle Peter. And, of course, Peter is somebody that we've met in the Gospels. We’ll get to focus on his ministry and then we’re gonna meet this person that is gonna affect the rest of the Bible and we’ll be traveling with him most of the rest of the way. His name was Saul, right? Not the same Saul that was the first king of Israel that we've been reading about in the book of Samuel. This is a Pharisee in the first century who very, very much opposes this new message of Jesus. And it’s not because His ethics were off or something like that. It was that people were saying he was the Son of the most-high God, which for Saul and for the rest of the Pharisees and Sadducees and scribes and leaders, this is blasphemy. So, Saul was doing everything he could to oppose this when he met Jesus. And, so, we’ll spend the latter part of the book of Acts getting to know Saul whose name becomes Paul. And we know him now as the apostle Paul. And we will find that his letters makeup like the bulk of the remainder of what we’re going to read in the New Testament. The book of Acts we also encounter the comforter, the one Jesus says He would send, the Holy Spirit. And the Holy Spirit is the energy that sets the hearts of Jesus disciples on fire and then sets the world on fire. When you understand a bit of church history, and you understand a bit about the Roman Empire, and you understand a little bit about the first century you realize the chances of this message succeeding were small, very small. And yet this message has swept the entire world. Nothing of the early church would've been possible without the Holy Spirit, without the Spirit leading into all truth, right, as is promised in the Scriptures. And we should remember that because it's the same Spirit that is empowering us to bring the good news and light and life and shalom into the world today. So, we’re moving it is a new territory and it's exciting. And, so, let's buckle up for the book of Acts. Today Acts chapter 1.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us into this new territory. It's like we turned the page and we finished the Gospels and now we’re in the accounting of the early church. And as we watch the story unfold we ask that Your Holy Spirit, whom we will read plenty about in the book of Acts would awaken us, would lead us into all truth, would help us to understand that this is the beginning of the story that we are in right now. And we also Father thank You for the comfort found in the 121st Psalm, that You are with us, that You will not leave us, that You are sustaining us, that You are watching over us and guarding us, that You are here and You have always been. And we are so grateful. So, come Holy Spirit into what we’ve read today and plant it in our hearts. May our hearts be good soil for Your word. And may the fruit of the spirit be harvested in our lives we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Announcements:

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And that's it for today. I'm Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hello DAB family today is May the 29th and I had to say man those prayers I heard at the end of today’s podcast made my spirit soar. I can’t tell you. I was hooting and hollering and saying yes Lord yes Lord. Man, this DAB family is something else. The prayers that you lift up to God, wow. Especially his little Cherry and the other lady you were praying for the unleashing of our…of the potential of our children who have been breathed life into by our Creator. Never thought of it that way but yes Lord. I just…I gotta say amen to those prayers and I gotta say thank you Lord for this DAB amazing prayer warrior family that you have put in here, the ones who call in for prayer and the ones who answer prayer. And I just have to say also, blessed are you oh Lord our God who hears our prayers who is faithful to answer and who daily carries our burdens. Thank you, family. That was some powerful today. I just had to call in and say that. Woo. Pray for our kids as well, that their potential is unleashed, and I think that’s going to be an ongoing prayer from now on. Thanks very much. Be blessed family and be a blessing.

Hi this is Missy from the Midwest. I’m listening to a podcast from the community prayer line May 1st or 2nd I’m not sure what it was but at the 2 hour 28 minute 33 second mark John Ofsoul from South Sudan in East Africa came in and he…he just sang a song with a guitar, the song “they’ll know we are Christians by our love.” And as I heard him sing this I’m…I’m next door in Wisconsin to the state of Minnesota the city of Minneapolis that’s been burned and rioting and awfulness and the song just really really touched me. Thank you, John for singing this. I saw the evil of a man having his life taken and I saw the city burning to the ground and I saw the Father crying from heaven and it broke my heart and it caused me to weep. And I just ask for you all DABbers to please pray for Minneapolis as we go through these this awful time. Thank you.

Hey everybody this is Pelham from Arab calling in. It is the 29th of May and time to call in and tell you guys that it’s pretty much been a year and I’m I am gonna finish this program on the second but they’re letting me leave early. Today I paid my last payment to the house. You pay a percentage of your paycheck and that was my last one. The Lord got me through this thing, which is incredible. It’s unbelievable. I now can check a piece of chicken better than…well I don’t know who else…anyways I know how to make some really good chicken tenders. I work in a chicken plant now and I’ve been doing it for a while. So, I’m calling to let you guys know that we made a year and I’m about to be out, I’m about to move. So, I need prayer warriors out there to please pray for the Lord to lead me to where me and Otis are supposed to be. There are several men that want to come with me wherever I go. And I need guidance there because they…there’s opportunity for me to start something of my own and I’m scared of that. I’m scared of…of that type of calling or what that may mean. I…I covet you all’s prayers on this. There’s so many amazing things happening that two minutes is not nearly enough. But man, everybody out there, think about when I first called in a year ago before going into this. I think I called from jail even, possibly. But I’ve been calling in for 14, I think, 14 years now or 13 years and just another chapter coming to an end and I want to let everybody know I love you. Okay. I’ll here you later. Bye.

Good morning DAB, this prayers for I believe his name is Terry and Australia. [singing starts] The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness oh Lord. Great is the high faithfulness [singing stops]. Terry this is your sister Blessings Flow in Pennsylvania. I heard your prayer request about the 20-year pornography addiction. I just want you to know that I’m praying for you brother. I so appreciate your vulnerability and I know that hit home with many people. As I was thinking about you, I remembered when I was a missionary and I remember there was a time, a short season I was going to be furloughed going back home and I was just kind of anxious that I would fall back into certain patterns of…of sin and I remembered I was anxious about this and I had this dream in that season where I told a leader about it and in the dream she just laughed a belly over laughed and laughed and when I woke up I knew for me it meant that, you know, I’m anxious about this but the Lord wasn’t. And it calmed me and it just reminded me as I pray for you brother, that one day at a time the Lord loves you and as you grow in that love and knowing that love I think you’re going to desire the addiction even less. Praying for you. God bless you.

Hi DAB family this is Will from beautiful Bozeman Montana. And I am a little behind, probably maybe a month or less than a month behind. But I just want to say that I’ve been thoroughly blessed this year with the DAB, and I’ve been kind of holding back on calling and just listening. I’d do a roll call, but I might mess up because I don’t have a list. But I just listened to the prayer request and Victoria Soldier, thank you so much for your inspiring prayer and your anointed prayer. I do have a prayer request. I told a young man he is a coworker that I would have thousands of people praying for him. His name is Justin. Justin is not a believer. He’s on blood thinners and just has had some health issues. He’s a little overweight but more than anything he’s not a believer and I just want God to show himself to him and I thought I’d just step in and just offer that. And not only that but just make myself known in a sense I have…we have an advocate who can go before us in the name of Jesus and pray. And part of the issue of his…of his illness is the stress that he’s been carrying, his wife is very ill, and he’s had to take time off of work to deal with that. So, pray for her healing as well. Pray that God would reveal himself. DAB family I love you. Thank you. This little app is awesome, being able to just push a button and record like this. And, so Brian, Jill thank you all for your ministry. Thank you all for everything you do, and DAB family thank you for your contributions. And it’s been a blessing. I love you.

Hi DAB family this is Steven in Florida. I’d like to lift up and pray for the young man that called in today and said that his marriage was on the rocks and his mother was kind of not doing well and he said he was going through a dark time. And I just want to lift him up brother and let him know that dark times…God is always with us during our dark…dark times and the gospel is telling us…the Gospels are telling us that Jesus went through really hard times and…but God definitely has a plan for you and he will see you through this and…and when this is all over you’re gonna a see that He has blessed you more than you ever imagined that he had blessed you before. And, so, hang in there man. And another prayer of praise for the father who called in a few days ago and said his son that had run away has come back. And, you know, I’d like to just praise God and thank God for doing that and hopefully it opens…it opens up a new relationship in the family and its…we have the…we have the stories of the prodigal son where God does not reject his children. You know, a father never lets his children go, a mother never lets her children go. And, you know, it’s…it’s…it’s a gift from God. Family is a gift from God. And that’s it. Thank you, Brian again and I’m taking the Old Testament man. King David rockn’.

How do I ride when I don’t have the fare how do I eat when the cupboard is bare how do I hold on if my faith just ain’t there some people would say it’s the power of prayer take your burdens to the Lord and just leave them there I mean he really does care your burdens you share but ain’t Satan the ruler and power of the air he got the whole world in his hands he got the whole world in his hands he got the whole world in his hands but he gives us the power to make our own plans and therein the crux of the whole matter stands because the choices we make chances we take laws that we break for our own selfish sake it becomes hard to admit that you made a mistake and then you ask yourself over and over again didn’t I know that the Lord was truly my friend that his kindness and his grace and his mercy don’t end that all of my battles eventually I’d win now here I am with this big stupid grin on the floor on my knees in a jam once again knowing my actions was nothing but sin and Satan’s still telling me you’re going to win he never stops tryin’ and lyin’ Amen but what if I had stayed what if I had prayed what if I just trust and obeyed but what if’s are fruitless because I can’t change the past but one thing I pray God and humbly ask help me a better person to be a better son a better father a better servant for the because one thing even my blindness I see and that’s nothing that will ever change until I change me

blindtony1016@gmail.com. Once again Brian and the Hardin family thank you for this wonderful podcast for God’s Holy Spirit to flow keep the flow and yell. All right. Bye-bye.