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#w/e im putting these in the tags im proud of these
divinefeline28 · 2 years
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two of them (image id in alt)
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tazzymcclazzy · 1 year
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RAAAAGH GRAAARRRGHHH AND OTHER SUCH SCARY DRAGONDOGTHING NOISES pleas e read this
tazdrgaoneyetagain -> tazzymcclazzy! first url change lets go
HELLAO! i go by taz, jevil, petco, or if youre feeling sillay, you can call me drgaone! or just dragon. if youre normal. also any variation of the word dog.
☆ he/it/that/bark/woof/any canine-related neo you can fathom but i very much like it/its, transmasc and pan! can't quite describe my exact gender its like caninegender and boygored's evil child it's like the cissest-looking trans man you know its like some shadowy creature in the woods its like a domestic dog. you know the drill. one day ill find a xeno that fits that
☆ furry and therian (black wolfdog) and simultaneously petre because you can never be too canine i guess, otherhearted (dragonhearted of course), selfshipper!!!1!1!
☆ not whatsoever diagnosed with anythin other than a few miscellaneous conditions but everyone who talks to me agrees theres some divergent on that neuro
☆ taken and very loud about it i love bird sm. SO much. im normal im so so normal [dies
☆ chronic epistaxis i am the number one bleeder
☆ also part of the corpoverse! i'm petcotherealest
《FANDOMS :3333》
◇ wings of fire
◇ pjsk/vocaloid
◇ fnaf, specifically the dcas
◇ hfjone
◇ the walten files
◇ chonny's charming chaos compendium
◇ regretevator. its birds fault
◇ kinitopet!!!!
《F/OS !!》
♡ sun (five nights at freddys, romantic f/o)
♡ six-claws (wings of fire, father f/o)
♡ sayori (doki doki literature club, romantic f/o)
♡ shadow bonnie (five nights at freddys, caregiver f/o)
♡ the heart acoustic (cccc, caregiver f/o)
♡ kinito (kinitopet, platonic f/o)
《TAGSSSS》
♧ drgaone roars -> og posts
♧ drgaone snarls -> asks and answers
♧ tax evasion -> art tag! i used this one across all my past blogs (@taz-drgaone, and the one i had to deactivate womp womp) so going through a tag for a literal felony is fucking flooded with fruity dragons. in retrospect i should have made it drgaone draws
♧ manatee the silly! -> manatee my blorbo my silly. also used across all blogs but you dont have to scroll past political shit
♧ drgaone scrawls -> vent poetry n fanfic !!!!!!!!! pls dont look there i put those there 4 safekeepin
♧ saveforlater -> imagine me curled up on a pile of these posts like a sleeping dragon atop its horde of treasures
♧ holy shit the images are moving -> animations i post
♧ partnerposting -> me being in love
《MORE INFO I GUESS》
♤ feel free to send asks requests dms whateva!!!1! i thrive off interaction its my fucking lifeblood
♤ on that note, I AM A MINER. PICKAXE EMOJI. no nsfw but im ok w drawn gore/violence/ect!
♤ ask about my ocs. i beg you. hehe is that a sex reference
♤ on that topic, if it's brought up and ya get confused: carp is a dca au/selfship/crossover thingy invented via dumbassery and roleplay by me, birdic, and realguitarcenter/kaiyadrawzz, and it involves a lot of my wof oc lore (if i infodump to you abt one and redact something due to carp relation that is why), literal satanism, and lotsa heavy topics. if you wanna know about it, i will GLADLY TELL YOU and i have a loredoc in the works. my sona/the guy in my pfp is from carp, as is any characters by the name of austin, avery, or gabe. we hate gabe
♤ my discord is assignedmuckaatblucka PLEASE ADD ME i love makin friends so so so much
♤ tazzerjevil on ao3!!! read my fics boy. but maybe not the smut because it is carp smut. currently workinf on a jashling chatfic im v proud of
♤ not gonna put my triggers here due to An Incident but ask about em via dms or smth if you wish ^^ please do not ask about their origins. i will possibly block you if you try to find out
♤ PRO-PALESTINE. except i cant post much abt it because my zionist mother looks at my tumblr. but from the river to the sea palestine will be free‼️
♤ i am worlds most annoying dog. i will spam you with barking and yap about my partner so much
♤ i have many a sideblag! if you find the petre one, you get a gold star. if you find the other one and ask abt it, you get blocked. i sincerely apologize! but if u find the other one you probably have me blocked anyway so uerhm idk
BASIC DNI SHIT! pls if ur a jackass or bigot or anything do Not follow. also anyone against transspecies people (not one myself but its such a cool concept), mspec lesbians, xenos or neos. also if youre gonna tag me in a reblog chain plEASE dont, but especially dont do one of those ones where it says "tag [insert number of people]" i panic and have no clue who ta tag,,, also no reblog bait please! makes me nervous.
sona refs, theriotype refs, and other such images under the cut
SONA REFS:
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second one by @/ratboyinastarrycoat!!
THERIOTYPE REFS:
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i am simultaneously a large predator and an Oipouy. got a problem with that, liberal?/ref
OKAY THATS ALL SCAMPERS AWAY
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tired-inyxe · 8 months
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WHATS UP FUCKS - AKA My Ultimate Masterpost
Hi! I realized I never really introduced myself. My name is Inyxe (i-n-y-x-e, pronounced like Lynx but with an i (accidentally swapped the y and n once and didn't notice until it was too late)), but you can also call me Jay! I'm a proud anarchist and punk, swear like a sailor and love sharing my opinions well knowing I won't be hunted down with pitchforks and torches (I mean I could still be here but it's not as likely as, let's say, twitter). I've only been here for a couple of years but this is basically my first social media platform (Amino doesn't count). I also was put through the shredder when I was created and have a slew of issues, both mental and physical, so you will be subjected to the whims of my brainworms. It/they/fae pronouns. I have no sidebloggs so you get a smattering of my thoughts, have fun~ Feel free to dm or ask me anything! I may be so so tired but I like human interaction as long as I don't initiate it. Expect me to talk about prehistoric animals tho This will most likely be edited later, but that's future me's problem All of my tag masterlists! I have a lotta custom tags, like a LOT, so if u see weird ass tags on me post it's probably related to these (also useful for digging thru my stuff!)
General -my basic bitch tags, tag is #wing anatomy (subject to change)
Writing/Character Work -my creative writing/character work tags, tag is #worm anatomy Art -my art tags, tag is #cake anatomy Batfam/Dc -my batfam/dc tags, tag is #bat anatomy TMNT -my TMNT tags, tag is #shell anatomy more will be added later, i do more stuff than these after all, like dinosaurs! (fossil anatomy) My most important tags (on here and in the masterlist they best fit)
#bird anatomy -this masterpost! so its easy to find if i mention it in a different post
#og munchies -original posts
#eagle screech -announcements relating to me #red velvet cookie -my favorite things I've made/stuff im really proud of! I make a killer red velvet cookie batch fyi
#homemade food -My art! Get it well its hot #worm sculptures -my ocs! Also known as the worms that haunt nobodies head but mine (might introduce em soon ooooo) #rebloop -reblog
Extra info under the cut! has discussion of my mental/physical disorders so if u dont like that feel free to skip dw (I love to overexplain the stuff under here isn't important)
Stuff I have (been diagnosed for all of these, but that doesn't rly matter, just saying that because I don't want to deal w self diagnosis discourse atm): Autism, Adhd, Depression, Anxiety, Gender Dysphoria and Insomnia Stuff I suspect (talkin w me doctor abt it maybe): Tachycardia, depersonalization/derealization disorder, chronic fatigue, possibly a lung condition (not asthma but my lungs are fucked), iron deficiency anemia, some other vitamin/mineral deficiencies most likely, panic disorder, OCD, uhhhh idk ill add more later? maybe. its 1am my brain slidey yeah m doing this when m more awake gah
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bangtanger · 4 years
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CONTENT CREATOR YEAR IN REVIEW
was thinking for 84 hours where should i post it but as its my creator blog i m doing it here <3 i was tagged by @taemaknae @suhdays @ynki @honsool @jjeongukie @taeyungie @dearbangtansonyeondan @lifegoesmon @everythingoes @flipthatjacketjiminie @yoongi-bts @jiminslight @hopekidoki @cowboyjinbop @yoonqiful @jcngkooks @pjmsdior @hobeah @balenciaguks​ @jinvant @hobibestboy @vjimin @yoongikook AND THANK U SO MUCH FOR INCLUDING ME T_T ik maybe its not a big deal but its a big deal to me and im touched :(((((((((((( also gimme some time to check all ur posts 👉👈 also im in a mood to say that ive collected many pokemons here djfksfhsakjddld ok nvm 
also sorry for a long post ik tmblr fvcks things up sometimes when there is keep reading so dont fight me plz <3
❀ first creation and most recent creation of 2020 
ok this is the fist one (still very pleased with colouring here T_T the stage lighting was,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, well yeah as always lmao) and this is the most recent (TBH DKJSKDSDK I WISH MY MOST RECENT POST COULD BE A DIFFERENT ONE THE ONE I WANNA MAKE FOR A MONTH NOW THE ONE ID PUT A LOT MORE EFFORTS IN SO IM A LIL FRUSTRATED i literally just missed giffing but couldnt watch anything new so took an old vid i wanted to gif once I DIDNT EVEN USE MYCOLOURING PSD IT LITERALLY HAS ONLY COUPLE OF LAYERS uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :( but whatever,,, it just kinda doesnt show the difference -_-)
❀ a creation u r really proud of 
well 👁👄👁 there r quite few,,, and the main reason is colouring most of these r comps and i a b s o l u t e l y sucked at comps and esp at making the colouring consistent there lol so lets begin lol  1 (u have no idea how muchi love this set) 2 (i fucking mastered it i wanted to remake it for two years and i finally did!! 60 fps smooth good moments iconic performance iconic hair colour his attitude bruh and ofc the fact that i could do sth with colouring,,,,,, and chose such an unusual colour scheme that i doubted jckdckfdk and it still worked out 🥺) 3 (lol i had this idea written down since 2018 as well and this year i could finally collect all moments i needed and oh boi yeah,,, AND COLOURING I COULD ALMOST yeah almost do sth decent with it there r still couple moments id changed but im pleased) 4 (im so happy whenevr i see this CUZ IT ALL WORKED OUT it was such an impulsive comp i literally only saw couple moments for past few years as well where i could see three of them in one frame and suddenly I WAS LIKE I FUCKING MUST POST THOSE MOMENTS SOMEHOW and im so proud of colouring it looks so well T_T) 5 (the colouring ofc im still :o that i could get rid of that shitty shit dkksjkj AND THE MOMENTS ITSELF?????? AND BLACK SWAN???????? EVERY PERFORMANCE???? HAIR?????? OUTFIT???????? EVRERYHTIGNM???????? HIS FUCKING STARE? FACE??? DONT MAKE ME CONTINUE AAAAAAAAAAA also if im not wrong this set in particular made me start my before/after posts 🥺) 6 (i jujst love everything about it e v e r yt h i n g also i could made ppl believe that jin fr has purple hair here when in reality its brown djhfdhskdf one of blending modes or adjustment layers worked this way lol) 7 (i wont even comment this tried a great tutorial with great beautiful resuls for the first time ever and it worked out so well and i like it so much and the whole yoongi here,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, also love me some borders that add cinematic feels to some gifs or just make them pretty in a dif way just like i did with prev post i mentioned imo lol) OK LAST ONE 8 (I USED A VIDEO OF STARS AND ADDED IT TO THE GIF FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I FUCKED WITHMASKING FOR 3 HOURS GRRRRRRRR THIS IS SO HUGE FOR ME!!!!! i cant even explain whew IVE NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE SO I WAS REALLY PROUD TOO even tho i fucked masking up on some layers lmao but lets not pay too much attention to it 👀)
❀ a creation that took u forever
ohhhhhhhh i think this one cuz the moments were long i couldnt decide what do i want to include + it ts file so u kno,,, the speed,,, of processing,, + somehow decided to put them all together + fucked with colouring + had to get rid of the logo and as we know japan likes a lot of big braight text around haha and draw hair in moments where logo made it look blurry + had to adjust the order and all that stuff but getting rid of logo was the longest part 
❀ a creation from 2020 that received the most notes
whew this iconic one im still amazed tbh they looked soso incredible and im glad how everything turned out here <3 (could change some colouring on bg tho so it could look better and more hq :c)
❀ a creation u think deserved more notes 
lol this one cuz i was so hyped to make it cuz their concert in saudi arabia is one of my fav things in the world and i waited for so long to have mood and energy to go throught it to find jk moments and i couldnt choose some for this comp for so long and just,,,,,, overall,,,, the way he looks here............................................................... its a special comp to me haha ill def gif more of it i have shit ton of clips left and also there r other members and i just want to sit and enjoy yhe whole thing to so may find more stuff to gif here lol
❀  a new fandom u joined an a creation u made for it 
i didnt join anything heurheru
❀ a creation u made that breaks ur heart
OKAY LISTEN DSJAKDJHFDKJ THIS ONE IF U KNOW U KNOW AND IM SURE IT BREAKS ALMOST EVERY HEART tbh whenever i see soft smiles or soft interactions or anything like this im just :’( <3 even my serotonin boost tag does it to me cuz its too precious T_T
❀  a ‘simple’ creation that u really love
this one cuz everything about it ah and this one 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
❀ a creation that was inspired by someone else
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm idk maybe this one ? cuz i never did anything like this before and maybe i saw someones beautiful headers and decided to try one too ? i could do a lot better there is not enough depth but oh well,,, lol
❀  a favourite creatin created by someone else
oh its gonna be hard :) dear every conten creator i hope u dont mind if i wont go though the whole 2020 gif tag but choose form the most recent ones i loved? u know how much i appreciate ur content cuz i never stop screaming about it in tags but truly there r more content makers and i want u to know that i really love ur content :(
@syubb welllllllllllll i wont even comment this is iconique.....
@jinv T_T val i miss u but there should be bday comps with that BIG ASS IMAGE THAT HAS ITS PARTS ON EVERY SINGLE GIF I CANT EVEN EXPLAIN that icant even find dfjksfskj
@jung-koook i literally couldnt choose ehdskjdjksd but i decided this one cuz its sososososososososososososososososososososo well made every single detail here is chefs kiss
@kkulmoon i truly really cant get enough of ur colouring lately T_T
@minhope !!!!!!LITERALLY EVERY PANTONE COMP OR ESPECIALLY 7 YEARS WITH BTS PANTONE ONE IM AAAAAAAAAAAAA and lmao i think this is one of the most reposted things ive ever seen on internet T_T
@jjoon hng amy u know how i feel about ur content T_T decided this one cuz f l a w l e s s 
@hopekidoki stuff like this makes my jaw lie in the floor dsjkdj
@flipthatjacketjiminie idk whats up but it makes me scream like a madman every time i see it.........
@lifegoesmon i cant even explain why i chose this one but everything here is so incredible !!!!!!!!1
@hobeah one of those good fucking bye ones.....
@taeyungie this made me feel so many things and a whole ass a w e so cool T_T
@jiminfilter i will never shut up about bts core jungkook one should also be here
@seoksjin THE COLOURS I SCREAM OH MY GOD O HMY OGD I JUST WENT TO CHECK OUT AND SAW THIS AND IMMEDIATELY DJKSJD DECIDED THIS IS CRAZY THE PASTELS THE PINNKS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EVERYHTGIN but also those birthday posts ahhh T_T
@jinvant i wanna YELL but also u know how much i love ur quality and blacks  T_T and gfxs too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@yoongi-bts i love everything here with my whole heart!!!
@everythingoes SHOUWLD I EVEN EXPLAIN WHY
@hobibestboy THIS IS SO COOL AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE COLOUR SCHEME
@joenns  I WONT EVEN EXPLAIN IM SO HURT HES SO THIS IS SO T____________________T 
@jjeongukie idk i cant get enough of skin tone!!!!!!!!!!!!
@chaylani i really love the colouring and love these posts with highlights T_T
@eklipxe COLOURING AND EVERYTHIGN
@oncupid cant get enough of every colouring ive seen <3
@jiminslight THIS WHOLE GIF RIGHT HERE
@6dis-ease COZY AND PRECIOUS T_T
@ofkimtaehyung I LITERALLY HAVE NO WORDS ITS SO PRETTY
@taee it was really hard to choose too T_T decided to go with this cuz,, u kno
@yoonqiful CUZ THESE COLOURS DRIVE ME INSANE
OK THIS IS GETTING TOO LONG KDSFJSAKDL I WOULD ADD A LOT MORE CUZ THERE IS A LOT MORE TO ADD BUT IVE BEEN DOING THIS FOR THREE HOURS I BETTER CHILL 
❀  some of your favourite content creators from this year
ok i may forgot someone + in no order in particular + literally every creator that i follow/whose content i reblog @taeguks @tearuntold @cyphertaehyungie @love4hobi @kimnamtaejin @taejoon @jimiyoong @namkook @taeyungie @jinvant @jinv @6dis-ease @jiminrolls @daechwitas @syubb @syuga @jjeongukie @cowboyjinbop @hope-film @minhope @hopekidoki @joonie @namgination @jung-koook @faerieth @kooksv @lifegoesyoon @yoonqiful @j-sope @chaylani @jiminfilter @jjoon @everythingoes @varietae @seoksjin @dearbangtansonyeondan @ofkimtaehyung @yoongi-bts @gaypeople @seokjinyoongis @agustdfeatrm @joenns @houseofarmanto @namjoon (will miss forever) @thebtsgenre @honsool @vjimin @seokjinite @jiminswn @taee @hobeah @lifegoesmon @taemaknae @gukgi @kkulmoon @flipthatjacketjiminie @jintae @jcngkooks @ynki @yoongikook @yoongiandthebiaswreckers @jiminslight @gwkie @oncupid @eternalbulletproof and many more <3
OK SO i wanna say a special thanks to every content creator ever and also i wanna say that im really glad to be a part of this community all of u r so cool and creative and make such beautiful things and many of u made me feel EMOTIONS with ur sets or not only sets ill be forever grateful that i discovered bts and for everything they do to me without even knowing ALSO THANK U FOR STILL BEING HERE ON TUMBRLDSDFKJ yeah this year was less active there were few issues many ppl went on twt but thank u for still being here also happy new year <3333333 i think i sounded deeper and more emotional when i was commenting ppls gifs :| but its almost 2 am so i hope u will understand dkfjkfsjk im happy there is this corner on the internet that feels cozy and so welcoming <3 i love u i wish u a better year ahead <3 ok for checking notifications purpose ill tag my blog lol @eternal-bangtan
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hongism · 4 years
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Do you have any good ateez X reader fanfics Recs? I’m in need of a good long fanfic If not long Then a really really good one lol I just have a hard time finding some lol
BOY HOWDY IM FINALLY HERE okay but fr tho i’m sorry this took me Lightyears to do im so bad at remembering what fics i read and how i tag them so i lost my mind while trying to find them all and i’m sure i missed a lot of favs so i Apologize in advance asiodjfosijdf some are kinda popular so you might have seen them before but some do not get the credit they deserve and i could sit here and sing the praises of these fics and their authors for years but i won’t put y’all through that ._.
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You can’t even reach my neck - @kpopscenario - seonghwa
summary: They’re best friends and have feelings for each other but they both don’t know about the others crush, Seonghwa comforts her after another bad date. (Basically friends to lovers college!au)
yes i am a Sucker for a damn f2l college au on occasion and this is one of those Incredible and Well Written occasions i love this fic and the length is perfect and long in the best way 10/10 would recommend and it’s great
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such a good girl for me - @starrychannies - mingi
summary: no summary but the warnings should tell you Everything you need to know wink wonk skljdlkdfj
warnings: harddom!mingi, sub!reader, size kink (its mingi duh), choking, sir kink, pet names, mix of praise and degradation, oral (receiving), unprotected sex, slight overstim, slight humiliation (?), a lot of fluffy aftercare.
i find it Uber hard to write smut that is well written in all honesty like i can’t read my own smut bc i can’t Stand It i just think it’s awful but there are so so many authors out there who can write smut and write it well and i admire starrychannies so much for such incredible writing talent with smut yesyes
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Alone - @actuallythatwaspromise - san
summary: again n/a but good lord royalty au prince san, princess reader, smack me over the head because i really adore this 2.2k fic and good lord this fic gets me emo and i dont even know why??? the angst is soft and barely there but i’m still over here sobbing for no reason oisdfoaijdiof
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detention - @/starrychannies - wooyoung
warnings: badboy!wooyoung, goodgirl!reader, smut, voice kink, corruption kink, fingering, dirty talk, public sex, exhibitionism kink, wooyoung has piercings and reader is a Big Fan, mention of gags, light degradation.
this, this shit right here, this is so good WHEW i dont really have the words but hot damn, i just love this fic and i love love love the way the author wrote the the fic and it’s Hot:tm:
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violet roses - @/starrychannies - yunho
warnings: F L U F F, college!au, s2l, first meeting, yunho is a soft babie, yunhos pov!!, love at first sight, pining, bit of slow burn, yunho is Whipped, suggestive teasing, hyunjin is mentioned briefly in the beginning, protective yunho, mingi makes an appearance, mentioned that mingi’s gay, san is mentioned, smut, softdom!yunho, sub!reader, praise, car sex, SIZE KINK!!!!, vaginal penetration, fingering, finger riding, penetrative sex, daddy kink, yunho lowkey has a corruption kink, multiple orgasms.
did i die? yes but only a lot. ahhhh i LOVE me some damn s2l slow burn and pining that shit hits the spot and this fic has it wrapped up in a nice and lovely package pls read pls pls pls read
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lover boys - @/starrychannies - seonghwa + hyunjin
warnings: smut, wet dreams, poly relationship, boy x boy, non idol verse, ateez x skz crossover (yay!), harddom!seonghwa, softdom!hyunjin, sub!reader, threesome, reader is Needy, hyunjin is Sleepy, seonghwa is Amused, pwp, light somniphilia, dirty talk, petnames, some degradation, early morning sex, oral (giving), throat fucking, reader has no gag reflex and hyunjin is In Love with it, fingering (receiving), spanking (like twice), unprotected sex, light cum play, cum swallowing, little bit of praise, cuddles!
i really just need a minute whenever i think about this fic bc i highkey die every time i think about it??? two of my ults??? i can’t??? i really can’t handle this honestly like woW osdijfoijdfoi the way i melted we love to see it 🤩
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entanglement - @sanduction - wooyoung
summary: when the boy who had explicitly spelled out his implausible hatred towards you on every possible occasion tells you that he’s a dog, who would’ve guessed that you possessed the other half of his soul? not you, at least. life sure had a shit-load of guts to pull a twilight on you like that.
okay so deadass if you know me you know that i really am not the type to read werewolf/hybrid fics. i just typically don’t go for them or read them but this fic. this fic. oh my god. the way it’s so seamless and works so perfectly, i’ll never recover like W O W i love this fic that is all honestly i have mad respect for all writers who do werewolf/hybrid fics bc i can’t write them at all, so sanduction huge major props to you i love your work!!!
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who catches the alpha? - @teeztheflag - hongjoong
summary:  „You don’t want to break the rules, am I right?“
aka another phenomenal werewolf fic with alpha hongjoong that made me fall over in a totally great way. the angst the fluff the little suggestive bits it all flowed and fit together perfectly and i am still in love with this fic no matter how much time passes
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bite me - @atinyidea - yunho
summary: vampire!au, vampire!yunho, vampire!reader, female!reader established!relationship / warnings! angry s*x?, biting, blood, sir k*nk, consensual s*x, teasing, begging, rough play, overstimulation
this fic is ~spicy~ and whew it is good wow just the idea of yunho and reader being immortal together was like awww then it got spicy and i went to o_o real quick but it is such a good fic and wow i love it i dont even have words bc im Dumb but wow
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You Got It Like That? - @kimnamshiks - wooyoung
summary: You just needed to get through this week at the resort at the hands of 20 coworkers and Wooyoung; the Sales Department Supervisor who got some raunchy photos of you the day prior.
honestly wow sodifjoisdjf i love this fic so much i just wow honestly the reader is a whole mood when wooyoung texts about the pictures and i was reading like ‘ahahaa me.’ oisjdfoij god the back and forth between wooyoung and the reader just had me rolling legit i got flustered like pls wooyoung just HAAHHAHA WOOYOUNG IN THIS FIC GETS ME FLUSTERED AS FUCK it is all because tay is a Stellar Writer and makes those emotions come to life in amazing ways and i’ll never ever get over it just whew banter in fics is legit one of my favorite things ever and tay does it with such beautiful ease that i am Enamored but i am also Rambling just pls read this fic oh my god it’s so good
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be my neighbor - @jeonginks - seonghwa
summary: seonghwa moved into the apartment next to yours, and he stumbled into a situation he didn’t expect to face.
wow i l o v e this fic it’s just a perfect blend of angst and fluff and it sends me to space every time i read it soidfjoidjf don’t ask why space but it just does i kinda ascend okay? anyway wow this fic is such a gem and it is sO underrated in my opinion. the dialogue is written so beautifully and with an ease that i think is often times hard to capture?? wow just amazing
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Cheat Codes - @serendipityunho - seonghwa
summary: “This party’s boring, wanna get out of here?”, may have perhaps led you to make the biggest mistake of your life by sleeping with your best friend’s other best friend, your best friend who happens to be in love with you.
me: wow i never read college aus hahhaa
also me: reads a shit ton of college aus sodifjodijf
honestly this fic is 100% fantastic from start to finish, it’s 5.3k of pure greatness and i just really love this fic altho my heart broke at the end it still fit perfectly and was amazingly written ;-;
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that is all i have for today slkdfljdlk however i will be shameless and say that if you would like some Long Bois for ateez i have a few but i’ll link the fics i loved writing the most and am v proud of :3
storge - mingi
liquorice and ivories - hongjoong
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samanthadalton · 4 years
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Personality traits for Chloe st James (ABCs)
this is a (late) birthday present for @alleycat97 bc i know how much she loves Chloe. It was definitely fun writing for her character and coming up with traits for her 
taglist: @alleycat97 @cloud9in @fundamentalromantic (sometimes my tags don’t work on my laptop, im not sure why) 
NSFW on some parts but I marked the parts 
A- Attentive 
Being around someone like Poppy means that Chloe is extremely attentive to the small details. She’s always picking up on the little signals and constantly makes sure you’re okay. She’ll literally show up to your dorm at 3am if your texts seem “off” to her and she’s worried you’re sad. 
NSFW- Chloe is very attentive to your pleasure during sex and loves kissing/biting your neck or chest to heighten your pleasure. 
B- Bottom
NSFW- Chloe is definitely a bottom but she’s not a pillow princess. She once got super offended that you called her one and wanted to show you she’s not the type to lie down and take it. Even though she lets you take the reins, she’s super bratty and loves verbally teasing you to turn you on more. 
C- Candidness 
You can always count on Chloe to tell the truth because she has no filter and will say whatever is on her mind. You find it both endearing but annoying sometimes because her lack of filter means she does say a lot of things that may seem rude but you know she means well. 
D- Daredevil 
NFSW- Chloe is definitely too kinky for her own good and is always down to try something new during sex, even though she always lets you take the lead. She’ll gingerly ask you if you want to do whatever new thing she’s found online and show you a bunch of videos on how to do it. 
E- Experience
NSFW- This surprised you but Chloe doesn’t have a lot of experience in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, she feels more comfortable around people she can trust, but her past partners never gave her any security so she never really knew how much of it worked until you. But now she’s breaking out of her shell more and becoming more forward with her likes and dislikes. 
F- Favourite position
NSFW- Chloe’s favourite position is seeing you between her legs, as you pleasure her. She loves eye contact and practically falls apart when your eyes meet as you eat her out. She also loves laying down on the couch with you on top of her, kissing and cuddling her because she feels the safest in your arms. 
G- Goofiness
The more you get to know Chloe, the more goofy you realise she is. She loves acting silly and stupid on purpose just to make you laugh and isn’t afraid to scream to the top of her lungs in public which evokes weird stares from random passerbys but always seems to make you laugh. 
H- Horniness
NSFW- Chloe is the epitome of horniness and loves teasing you which ends up with you dragging her to your bedroom or just doing it right on the sofa. She loves wearing outfits which are purposely revealing, and will try and seduce you by ‘accidentally’ dropping a pen and then bending over to pick it up, showing off her ass in the process. 
I- Impulsive
Chloe tends to be pretty impulsive, acting on her own whim because she either forgets she has anything planned and does something else or she’s sick of living in a controlled environment and just likes to be spontaneous. Her impulsive decisions once led you to a three day weekend in Vegas because she just wanted to play poker (even though she doesn’t know how to play). 
J- Jealousy
Chloe gets jealous really easily, which is something she isn’t proud of but you know it’s only because she loves you so much. Whenever girls get too friendly with you, she’ll loop your arm with hers, pulling you close to your side, before giving a massive show of PDA. Usually nights where Chloe gets jealous ends in quickies in the bathroom, or just leaving the event early just so you can hook up and you can remember that you are hers, 
K- Kinks
NSFW- One of Chloe’s biggest kinks is feet. There’s something unexplainable about it but her biggest turn on is feet. She loves kissing your feet or sucking on your toes because it gets her in the mood. The first time she tried it with you, she was nervous because she wasn’t sure how you would react, but she was glad when you were receptive and enjoyed it. 
L- Lazy 
Chloe loves her lazy days where she can do nothing whatsoever. Because she’s so used to everything being done for her, she usually acts like a queen and will expect you to treat her one, which includes cooking and cleaning.
M- Masturbation
NSFW- Chloe wasn’t too comfortable with the idea of masturbation at first as a result of her inexperience but after investing in a vibrator, she definitely feels better about masturbating as a whole, though she prefers sex. 
N- Narcissism
Chloe is hugely confident about herself, which can be seen as borderline narcissistic but that’s only because she knows she looks good. Back in high school, she was the prom queen and was voted most likely to stay hot (which she was extremely happy about). Chloe does care about looks a lot but that’s only because she was insecure as a child and had to overcome a lot of those insecurities. She’s working on becoming less vain which is working because she complimented Taylor the other day and said she looked good. 
O- Opinionated 
Chloe has a lot of opinions about everything and will let them be known, even if she doesn’t have all the facts. She has a guilty pleasure of reality tv shows and will always explain to you what is going on and who is the worst and who she loves. 
P- Picky
Chloe is a very picky eater and is the type to order chicken tenders and fries or salad from a restaurant when the menu isn’t appealing to her. You’ve been working on expanding her appetite. She definitely has expensive tastes and likes the most bizarre food which makes you wonder why she’s such a picky eater. For example she loves caviar but refuses to eat scallops. 
Q- Quickies
NSFW- Though she prefers sex being sensual and passionate, she does love a good quickie and will be down for one. During parties she’ll drag you to an empty bedroom rather than a bathroom because she’s unsure of what she’ll catch. 
R- Reliable
Chloe is extremely reliant and you can depend on her whenever you need something. Because she’s number 2 at Belvoire she knows how to get things done (even if she has to use other people for it). She’s really good at delegating and is someone you can trust with your secrets. 
S- Scared
Chloe gets scared really easily and hates watching horror movies unless you’re there to cuddle with her. Once when you took her to one of those haunted houses, she fainted because a monster crept up on her and she screamed so much, she ended up knocking herself out. 
T- Toys
NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have any toys but she does have a pair of handcuffs and loves using vibrators during sex. Usually during sex, you’ll put her underwear in her mouth to quieten her or use of her expensive scarfs to tie her hands up. 
U- Useless
Chloe has a lot of insecurities and one includes her not feeling worthy or useful. You often have to reassure her that she is an amazing human being and show her how incredible she is. She’s always so appreciative of your efforts to make her feel better and with you around, she feels like she’s done something right. You’ve been encouraging her to pursue a career in dance, because she absolutely lights up when she’s choreographing a new dance routine for the Zeta’s and you know she’ll do an amazing job. 
V- Volume 
NSFW- Chloe is very loud during sex and will let every sound out. Zoey has complained once or twice (or a lot of times) about the noise but Chloe can’t help it and the moans she makes are like music to your ears. 
W- Wild
Chloe does have a crazy side and after a few drinks, all of her morals, self preservation, self control are almost gone and she’ll let loose. She once flashed a bouncer to let her into the VIP section of the club (which worked) and if you dare her to do almost anything while drunk, she’ll do it without a second thought. 
X- X-ray 
NSFW- Chloe doesn’t have the biggest boobs but they definitely are very perky. She’s slim because dancing helps her to keep fit and can do a split (which drives you a little crazy) and both front and back flips. She’s about 5’9 and she definitely prefers having medium sized hair compared to long. 
Y- Yearning
Wherever you go back home for the holidays, Chloe is always missing you because she’s accustomed to having you by her side. She’ll constantly text/facetime with you to make sure you’re okay but also because she’s missing you like crazy. 
Z- Zodiac
Chloe is super into astrology and you guys play a little game where you’ll watch random strangers and try and guess their signs. She’s always sending you daily horoscopes in regards to your sign and always sends you compatibility posts about your signs. 
35 notes · View notes
Text
Obey Me Romanian MC
idea inspired by @/harunayuuka2060 (too shy to tag them)
Nu ştiu ce inspirație supraomenească m-a lovit dar am început asta la 2 dimineața și am terminat-o la 6.30
Im sleep deprived bc I stayed up all night doing this, enjoy gagicile mele
[added translations]
(under the cut bc this bitch is long af)
Lucifer: Are you not enjoying your meal?
MC: This food isn't even good. Next time I'm bringing my bunica to make you guys sarmale best thing you ever tried 👩‍🍳👌😘 mwah
-
MC: I'm not gonna go out with Satan, Beel, Asmo or Belphie.
Asmo: Awww
Beel: :(
Belphie: What?!
Satan: Why?
MC: Why date a guy who's favorite color is not in romanian flag? 🤔🇷🇴
-
Asmo: But I thought you could-
MC: For the last time IM NOT A VAMPIRE I CAN'T HYPNOTIZE PEOPLE OR MAKE THEM FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
-
Levi: Ohhh!!!! So are you like familiar with Castlevania-
MC: We don't talk about that *cries in disappointed*
-
Solomon: What is this weird potion.
MC: *puts bottle of țuică (plum brandy) on the table*
MC: This is not a potion, but a solution to all of your problems gagica 💖
-
MC: *talking to Lucifer* Oh iubire (love), stop crying over Diavolo again. Why cry over guy who would wear vagabond everyday in my country?
MC: Tsch tsch tsch
Lucifer: What the fuck is Vagabond
MC: Only the worst of streetwear existent. Only f-boys use it
Lucifer: Fair enough
-
Beel: Why do you want to try out for the sports team?
MC: Because Steaua, my country's team, disappointed me 😔
-
MC: Mammon! Asmo! Let me show you guys a thing called ✨manele✨
-
(after the Belphie incident)
MC: Does anybody have a belt.... a belt so I can...no reason...papuci de casă (slippers) works too
-
MC: Hey Belphie! Did you enjoy your punishment? 😜
Belphie: My butt still hurts...
MC: Next time it's the lingură de lemn ♡ (wooden spoon)
-
*MC dancing to Braşoveanca*
Mammon: W-what's that???
Satan: Some sort of ritual I suppose
Asmo: *joining in* It's fun!
MC: Doi✌paşi🦵înainte➡️şi😱doi😩înapoi⬅️ (two steps forward two steps back)
-
MC: Who has summoned me?
Satan: Belphie isn't feeling well and the medicine didn't really do it's job.
MC: Everyone watch closely because I'm going to teach you guys a sacred ritual called ✨Frecție cu Oțet✨
Satan: You're just pouring vinegar on his wrist.
MC: Now here comes the fun part. *maggages his wrists*
Belphie: Someone please kill me this is unbearable
MC: Am I allowed to say Tatăl Nostru (Lord's prayer) or is that too....uhhh weird since yall are demons and stuff-
-
Barbatos: MC...
MC: I'm sorry but crossing myself after I finish a meal is implemented in my brain. It's in the default settings.
Barbatos: What happens if you don't cross yourself?
MC: Lingura de lemn (wooden spoon) *shivers*
-
Diavolo: Do you like my castle?
MC: Baby, Peleş puts you to shame.
MC: Also, too much current (swift). Close the damn windows
-
Lucifer, giving up on life: Oh not again...
MC: DA PĂ CIMPOI DA PĂ CIMPOI JOACĂ FETELE LA NOI 👉👈😳
MC: Real music here 😌
-
MC: There, there gacica (girlfriend). Don't cry. *pats him on the back*
Lucifer: Do you got any more țuică...
MC: That's the spirit!
-
MC: I know I technically didn't die, but can we please have a funeral??? There is this really tasty cake just for this special occasion called colivă. Beel is okay with it so- hey don't ignore me! wait guys this is important- wAIT!
-
Satan: I hate Lucifer because he is my father.
Belphie: I hate Lucifer because he sucks in general.
MC: I hate Lucifer because Favorite color is red which is COMMUNISM COLOUR 😡‼
-
Solomon: See?? MC likes my cooking!
MC: Piftie...Caltaboş...
MC: Solomon, you would make a very good romanian housewife. Say, have you ever considered getting a 701st wife...?
-
Beel: *munching happily on the food MC makes*
Lucifer: *getting a fucking break*
MC: *making grătar(barbeque) cu mici*
MC: Everybody loves 1 Mai!
-
MC: Beelphiiieee!!!! I have a spell for you 😊
Belphie: Please not the lingură de lemn-
MC: *boop on the nose* ✨du-te dracu✨ (go to hell)
-
Lucifer: How did you make everyone behave?
MC: *looking at the papuc de casă in hand*
MC: You either die a hero...or live enough to become the villain...
Lucifer: Interesting, can you teach me?
MC: The secret is to use your wrist-
-
MC, whispering: Psst! Mammon! How's the sarmale trading going?
Mammon: Its okay, but why can't you just give me the recipe?
MC: E din moşi strămoşi (it's from older generations) I can't give it to you
-
MC: Hey pisi, want a ride in my Dacia?
Simeon: ...what? :)
MC: Come on gagica(girlfriend)! We are going to visit my family they will love you!
MC: You can also bring Luke. Just uhhh don't let him drink from the "juicebox" ok? It's not- It's not juice in there
MC: But you can drink. I won't tell anyone.
-
Diavolo: MC you can't leave yet. Not even for a quick visit back home.
MC: Auzi, da du-te-n p- (well why don't you fuck yourself on my dic-)
-
MC: *sigh* Sometimes I wish Satan was wearing Vagabond instead of...whatever that is
Asmo: Ouch, but yeah I guess we are that desperate.
Satan: I'm never tutoring any of you again.
-
MC and Luke, just vibing honestly: ⬇️Intră-n👇apa🌊mării🐚şi🐋nu🐟te🙄teme😱ai😳să-nveți🤯să-noți🐠printre🤔sirene🧜‍♀️🧜‍♂️
(go in the sea's water and don't you be afraid you'll learn to swim among mermaids)
-
MC: No Asmo, I have a date to the ball he's right here *points at țuică bottle*
-
Belphie: *misbehaving*
MC: Vai, vai, vai. Sărumâna Belphie 😃 ( well, well, well good day Belphie)
MC: *grabs the papuc (slipper)*
-
MC: NO LUCIFER IT CAN NOT BE AN AN NOU FERICIT (happy new year) IF WE DO NOT DANCE THE HORĂ
-
MC and Luke, vibing yet again: POVEȘTI DIN FOLCLORUL MAGHIAR!!! (maghiar folklore stories!)
-
MC: Where is my țuică? :)
Everyone: *quiet*
MC: I won't get mad :)
MC:
MC: Foaie verse de trifoi~ *papuc reappears* Dați băi țuica înapoi (green leaf of clover, give the țuică back you fucker)
Everybody: *runs*
MC: Mândruțelor (girls), come back until I'll put this to good use
-
Levi: *exists*
MC: *in love with him bc his fav color is in the Romanian flag and not in the commie flag*
MC: Te las să te lingi cu mime în parcare la lidl (I'll let you french kiss me in the Lidl market parking lot)
-
MC: Lucifer you don't understand!
MC: Sandu Ciorbă cured my depression!
-
MC: Muie cretinii pământului (fuck y'all stupid asses) my țuică is back and I'm not sharing anymore
-
Asmo: We're doing hot girl shit tonight
MC: Ne curvim rău (we're hoeing)
-
MC: futu-ți cristelnița mătii (fuck your mother's font) Simeon you're the one that drank all my țuică
MC: I'll let it slide this once, if u take me for shaorma(shawarma) in Piața Victoriei (Victoria's market)
-
Solomon: Whoops, I accidentally messed up the sarmale recipe
MC: Aşadar războiu alesu l-ai (So you have chosen war)
-
Mammon: MC, how do you say "I hate you" in romanian?
MC: Dar eu sunt mândru că sunt twink. (I'm proud to be a twink)
Mammon, clueless: ok thanks
-
MC, to Belphie: I had such a rough day, please fute-mi una (fuck me over) and not the way I like
-
Mammon: What would be a quick way to make money?
MC: Gagica(girlfriend), listen. Culegător de sparanghel (asparagus picker) in Spain is your go-to.
-
Asmo: *blasting manele vechi (old manele).2006*
Asmo: Please love me!
MC: *already in wedding attire*
-
MC: Beel! Here, try this! Yeah yeah its completely fine!
MC: ...what do you mean it looks like Solomon's cooking?
MC: THIS IS PIFTIE AND YOU WILL LEARN TO APPRECIATE IT
-
MC: *dragging them all by the hand to therapy*
MC: Păi aşa-i hora pe la noi măi bade- (This is hora to us well my mans)
-
MC, talking to Lucifer: Măi omu lu dumnezeu îți fut una de nu te vezi (listen God's man I'll fuck you over that you'll not see again) if u lay a finger on my țuică again
MC: I don't care that you have daddy issues, this is MINE now thank you very much.
-
MC: Doamne cu ce ți-am greşit? (God, what have I done to you?)
MC: tanti Lilith, ia-mă cu tine gagicuțo milf ce ești (Miss Lilith, take me with you you milf girlfriend)
MC: Chiar și culesul de căpșuni din Spania era mai ok dacât (even strawberry picking in Spain is better than) Therapist Simulator hell edition
-
Diavolo: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu a ta mireasă? (Do you want me to be your wife?)
-
Simeon: *exists*
MC: Vrei să-ți fiu Ileană Cosânzeană? ( Want me to be your fairy wife?)
-
Belphie: Every time I doze off they say this weird phrase...
MC: Dormeo(mattress company) ! Noapte bună! (good night!)
-
MC: What do you mean im not allowed to have a cross around my neck?
MC: My dead grandmother would kill me it's Sfântu Andrei for fucks sake
MC: The law is law we gotta put garlic and salt everywhere around the house
MC: This is what you get from taking my țuică away AGAIN
-
MC: I mean, at least i dont have to take the bacalaureat and face the woman-hating-Ion-Creangă-fucking-twink-looking-nightmare-inducing Eminescu so
MC: *drinks a Mona Spirt (rubbing alcohol) bottle in one go*
MC: that works wonders for me
49 notes · View notes
hikari-writes · 4 years
Text
❅A Love Letter I Have to My Lovely and Beloved Friends❅
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(I just know that 30 july was a national friendship day and today is like 31 july already at where I am but,,, just pretend that this is also for National Friendship Day 🤡🔫)
As you all know, it's been confirmed that I'll be going on a hiatus two days from now that I really don't know how long it will go on. So, with that in mind, I wished to leave this message to all the wonderful friends I've made while I was active here on Tumblr during quarantine.
I've started this writing blog a few months ago, to be precise, on May where life in quarantine was starting to become a norm. In the few months until now, I did my best to start writing and drawing more using all the free times that I have.
I wouldn't have expected this blog to grow so much in such a short time. To me, it was really mind blowing, seeing that there's a lot of other great content creators here on Tumblr. Yet, the 300+ people who stumbled upon my blog still decided to follow me.
I was really happy to have made many contents that I'm actually proud of posting. And I still can't believe there are people out there who love them. Seeing every one of your comments and reblogs and likes really, really, squeezed my heart and I couldn't be more thankful for your support.
And during these fun times, I was able to make friends with many amazing, talented, fantastic and all the good words I could find in the dictionary people on here. You all are a real gift to me and I hold you guys close to my heart.
I still can't believe I was able to befriend you guys though, like, y'all are so amazing and I was just here like squeaking my name to you like a shy mice lmao. =///= Anyways, thank you for all the good and fun times. Thank you for being with me and helping me with lots of things. Just, thank you for everything. (I'm writing this at 1am like it's sad hours yall I'm crying :')))
If you are ever feeling down, do not ever forget that, even if it's only me, I'll support you to the end of the world because you're just so amazing and fantastic. I love you and never let any hate that's thrown at you let you down because they aren't worth your time.
The people I'll be mentioning below are my dear friends or just people that I have been interacting with during the times I was online, little or not, I still consider you guys to be my friends (very self-proclaimed here sorry)and I'm still honoured by that fact.
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@your-local-bnha-writer -Bean, you and your posts are always so wholesome and cute and I love them. Keep being amazing, and we may not interact much, but I still appreciate every little convos we had. Also, wish you luck on tpn, that shit hurted :')
@identifybby -Liaaaa, omg im so v v grateful we became friends. You've helped me with a tons of things and I can't thank you enough for everything you've done to me. You're just so amazing and thank you for always putting up with me, i love you sm.
@minteasketches -Mintea! You're such an amazing artist and I rlly enjoyed our conversations! You might not see this since you're off socmed but just wanna let u know that thank u for being my friends.
@yandere-of-your-dreams -Heyyy sis,, you're always such a sweet bean to me and showering me w love and i appreciate them, stay amazing and I'm sure you'll become an amazing writer.
@shotobabe -Ren, wifey, ilysm thank u for always being with me. You're such an awesome person and keep on being yourself. You're perfect and talented, don't let others tell you otherwise. AND while I'm gone, don't forget to drink lots of water okay? I won't be able to remind you while I'm on a hiatus, but please always remember to drink water. That'd be the first thing I'll ask you once I'm able to be online. And please try to eat more okay bb? I love u.
@takumipineapplexd -Taku! Amazing writer and amazing editor, yes I'm talking about you. You're amazing and keep on making cursed content and being crackhead, i love them.
@bnhabadass -We might not talk much, but I just want to let you know that you're so amazing and I look up to u v much. Literally had a heart attack when u commented on angel wings lmao.
@tomomoni -Mon, love, soft bean, I LOVE U. You've always been so wholesome and cute to every one of your followers and seeing ur interactions literally heals my heart. Your art is amazing so continue being amazing ilysm thank u for being an amazing advisor and listener, I'm v grateful for that. You have no idea how blessed I am to have you as a friend. Meeting you through turn on your airdrop's fanart was F A T E.
@kamabukokompachiro -First time u asked my permission to read my fanfic, I legit teared up. Thank u sm for asking, I couldn't be happier to know that my fic is worthy to be read over for a yt channel. Keep on being amazing and ily.
@kaminii -Kamiiiii, sweet child, you're always so matured and calm and I really adore and respect that part of you (unlike me im v childish and rash) You're an amazing writer and editor and ur aesthetic? 100/10. Love it. You're so talented despite being so young and I'm just, WOW. Ily and thank u for being friends w me. And please fix your sleeping schedule bb. It's rlly not good for your health, like please? Ily.
@katsucutie -I love you and your writing so v much, and I rlly enjoyed talking to you, discussing about Burn Book was rlly fun. I might not be able to know the ending since im gonna go on a hiatus but I'll be sure to catch up to it once im back. Keep being amazing and awesome.
@isolshi -CHERIE, I LOVE YOU AND YOU'RE AMAZING. Don't be so insecure about your writing. They're amazing. And you're also one of the sweetest and cute person I've met here. I always love teasing you cause your reaction is always so funny and cute. Keep being awesome. And please, please, please get enough sleep and drink LOTS of water. I legit would cry if you don't drink more water cher.
@mirakeul -BIANCAAAAA LOVE YOU'RE SO AMAZING AND SWEET LiKE--- please, I love talking to you and thank you so much for always reminding me to eat. Your calligraphy and handwriting are awesome, shshh i don't take criticism. Never stop writing, I love them. And please never forget I love you and you're my best friend okay?
@roxybefab -You've always been the first to ask me to be on my taglist and I'm so v happy because of that. Thank you for everything, and keep on being awesome. You can do this, ily.
@princessofdawn718 -Talking to you about Hamefura has been so fun! I haven't talked w many ppl about isekai so im rlly glad I could talk about them w you. Katarina x nicol ftw! Thanks for talking to me, it was such a pleasure rlly.
@softkodzuken -Maam your writing is A M A Z I N G. I love anon sm and you're rlly so sweet for always replying to every single comment on them. Don't be so insecure about them, they're amazing and i will always stand by that point. Wishing you the best of luck for Undercover!
@lolitsleia -Your art is *chef's kiss* i love them so much, I still can't believe you hadn't had more recognition like why?? Ur oc alex is the cutest thing ever and i love her. Thank you again for drawing Yuki. She looked really beautiful and cute in your drawing.
@samanthaa-leanne -We may not talk much, but when you first followed me back, my heart goes B O O M. You're so amazing and keep being like that. And uh,, good luck with Violet Evergarden if you ever plan to watch it. Prepare a couple of tissue boxes....or dozens.
@miyumtwins -Fellow android users! I first saw you through Bean's post about a tag game and i was like *gasp* another androiders..! I swear that one time i was interacting w you, I didn't actually meant to go off anon,, yes im dumb lmao. Anyways, you're rlly amazing and I'm rlly honoured to be followed by you.
@kawasuno -Your smau? 100/10. Your sense of humour 100/10. They're just so perfect *chef's kiss* I love every one of your updates and they always managed to put a smile on my face, i was like, how did you do that? My sense of humour is nonexistant, teach me your ways sensei. But anyways, you're rlly amazing and awesome. Keep up w that.
@kukusbabe -Tsu, I've never said this, but it's you. It's always been you all along. What i mean is, I've followed you first (i knew u through zara's flopping server yeah!) And when i looked at my dash and saw all your interactions w your moots, despite me haven't legally started haikyuu yet, i decided to follow all of them, soooo if it's not for you, we may not have met each other. Everyone in the kita family, Tsu is the MVP here muah. Also your aesthethic and writing and everything is so kajsjhendnd amazing i LOvE---
@iwaixiumi -King Nami, you're so awesome and amazing,, and I'm really glad to be able to interact w you. All those songs you recommend? Yeah, I'm going to listen and love all of them, thank u so much for the recs. Keep being amazing and to everyone reading this, PLEASE INTERACT WITH KING NAMI MORE SHE DOESN'T BITE---
@shoutodoki -Hello, you're so amazing and talented and im just,,, kekkdjfjdj when you followed me--- and when u figured out i was the anon talking about oboro i was OAKSJEJDDJ please, i was so honoured u know, like ???? Anyways, keep on writing what you love and your art maam? THEY'RE AMAZING LIKE BOTH YOUR ART AND WRITING IS SO KAJSJDJDN pliS im so v honoured to be able to talk to you.
@lisarillia -Please excuse me while I go shout in the corner of how much i LOVE your arts. They're amazing and being able to talk to you was a real pleasure. Keep on doing what you love. They'll be amazing no matter what i swear.
@cutiedrawsbnha -Cutie, honey, you're amazing and your art is so cute! Don't let what haters said get to you. You're going to grow into an amazing artist. If you give in and listen to what they said, you're going to end up like what they said so ignore them honey! I believe in you so keep shipping izuocha, todomomo, and kamijirou and making arts. Lotsa love!
@lilikags -Heeyyyy you sweet cute innocent bean! Don't ever stop writing what you love, you'll grow into a big blog soon enough, before you know it. Just keep making what you love, and as time pass by, I'm sure there will be many people who will find appreciate everything you do. I'm always supporting you.
@baeshijima -SOPHHHHH YOU SWEET CUTE CINNAMON ROLL WAKATOSHI'S WIFE EYE--- You have NO idea how much i love you,, you're so sweet and I honestly don't know what did i do to deserve you. Srsly you're a blessing to me. Thank you for the sweet daily reminder in my inbox, i love each and every one of them. Keep being so cute and wholesome, love you.
@shinsuque -ANAAAAA Thanks again for the Bakugou's memes! I may not be able to do it before i go on a hiatus though *sobbing* Keep being so awesome! I love seeing all your interactions and you're so amazing i honestly don't know why you followed me----
@semiluvr -LYDIA *SOBBING* THANK YOU SO SO MUCH FOR INVITING ME TO THE KITA FAMILY. Even though we've known each other in less than a week, it already felt like I had known you guys for so long like whotttt. Keep being an amazing and sweet person ily muah
@dumbass-lev -MOMMY, MUI, ILY THANK U FOR ALWAYS BEING SO SWEET YOU'RE AMAZING,,, u have no idea how happy (and also flustered) I am when i saw you asking you want to adopt me like,,, whot I've never been asked to be adopted online b4 so you asking that was a big surprise to me and just,,, remember that i love you and you're an amazing mommy. Hope i wasn't too much too handle as your child lol and thank u, for asking to invite me to the server. It has been a real pleasure to me to be there.
@pudding-head-kenma -DANIE!! We haven't talked much and I've only known you for a short time but I really love your detailed analysis. They're amazing and you're amazing. Thank you for being so sweet and cute. Ily.
@/🦋 nonoi -🦋 NONOIIII!!! IF YOU'RE SEEING THIS, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THANK YOU FOR BEING MY EMOJI ANON! I love you you're so sweet and bb please please please don't forget me id cry,,,
@astereim -Rein!!! I know we just talked and all but you seem to be a reaally cool and amazing person,, we might not be able to interact much since I need to go prepare things b4 i go on my hiatus though, but just wanna let u know that ily!
@tokoyamis-luv -please don't come for my neck i haven't been active on the server Lol but anyways, zara, you're amazing and your simping for Kurapika is always fun to watxh. Also all the lin manuel edits are *chef's kiss* we may not talk much but i was rlly honoured to be able to interact w you, even a little bit.
@engel-hageshii - YOU, MAAM are a literal angel, and your comments on my fics always managed to make me smile so much. I love you, please never stop being such a sweetheart.
@laylahoran -I've always loved and appreciate every comments you make. I'm v happy I was able to create a content that you can love. You and engel has been some of my firsts followers and I'm really blessed to have you two.
@oyasenpai -Diemmy! You're so sweet and cute and seeing your interaction w my moots (kami) was what made me follow you. Don't let what others said bring you down, okay? Just do what you want because there're always many people supporting you for it.
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Special message to the kita family server;
Meanwhile while you guys were talking about me there, I was just innocently scrolling through Tumblr, not knowing what kind of fate I'll be receiving 👁👄👁 No wonder I was sneezing so much 🤧🤧🤧
So, I was just scrolling through the pinned messages and I saw tsu said "mui: can we invite hikari? Everyone here: kakskejdjdjdn" and i was just like,,, ??????? I wasn't expecting u guys to have that kind of reaction i--- yall have no idea how much i was grinning while I scroll through those messages. Thank you so much for inviting and accepting me, it's really fun to be with you guys and your crackhead energy 🥰🥰 Thank you to mui for suggesting you had no idea I was really really happy. 😭 Y'all are so amazing and sweet and cute and beautiful kakjdjdd
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To all of my dear friends that I've mentioned above, I LOVE YOU LOTS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GRATEFUL I AM TO MET YOU GUYS. Quarantine time has been stressful for a lot of people, and Tumblr can sometimes (a lot of times) be kinda whack but I was really happy to met you guys during my time here. Our time together may have been short, but i feel like we've known each other for more than a year, no caps. I love you all very very much. Thank you for talking to me and befriending me. Remember to get enough sleep, drink lots of water, stay safe and healthy, eat enough meals and, take care of yourself. I love you guys.
And lastly, to everyone reading this, whether i know you or not, or interacted with you or not, or follow you or not, or you follow me or not, just REMEMBER that you are worth it and I love you. Keep on being awesome, and always remember to smile, laugh and live. Don't forget to always DRINK LOTS OF WATER, GET ENOUGH SLEEP, and EAT ENOUGH MEALS.
Signing off,
Hikari.
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jougogo · 4 years
Text
tsukki, iwa, daichi, kuroo, sakusa, akaashi, and shibayam with an s/o who’s afraid of needles getting a flu shot
a/n: wrote this in honor of me getting of me getting my flu shot yesterday and NOT CRYING FOR THE FIRST TIME WOW WE LOVE GROWTH
characters: tsukishima kei, hajime iwaizumi, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, akaashi keiji, shibayama yuuki
tw: mentions of needles
tsukishima
"kei, i don't like needles," you whined
"well, you still have to get them. are you really this weak? i thought you were stronger," he responded nonchalantly
ok that pissed you off
"HMPHH I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU" 
but once you were on the seat with the shiny syringe right in front of you?
all that confidence was g o n e 
"remember, you said you'd prove it to me." he smirked
you gulped and shut your eyes tightly
you could've sworn you felt his hand rest on your thigh as the shot was administered
you don't know what you were expecting, but the sting was only momentary and within a couple seconds, you were finished.
"ouch." you quietly yelped.
"see, you were just being a dramatic. tsk, weakling," he flicked your forehead
nurse looked kinda concerned ngl
but afterwards he'll carry your bags for you and open the doors bc he's proud
"good job, my weakling,"
"tsukki istg"
iwaizumi
iwa knew about your fear of needles
he found out when he noticed you grip the pushpin tightly between your fingers everytime you have to pin sticky notes to the corkboard you had above your desk
so when it was flu shot season, he'll def volunteer to get it done together w you
iwa bby being such a gentlemen gahh i cant
i can see oikawa as someone who was prob also afraid of needles, so iwa knew how to handle situations like this
"iwa-chan but they're pricking my arm and i'm gonna be numb how am i going to practice volley-"
 b o n k 
"get over it brattykawa"
jkjk he'll be so gentle and patient with you
"hey hey it's okay, dont look at the needle. look at me" he turned your face towards his, cupping your cheek to prevent you from seeing the syringe from your peripheral vision
you gazed into his pretty green eyes. 
oh, how they resembled a lush rainforest, full of tropical plants and-
before you could even realize it, the needle jabbed into your tender arm
"ouch," you groaned, leaning your head against his muscled chest.
"see, you did it!" he congratulated you, his lips curving into a small smile as he patted your head
he rolled up the sleevs of his t-shirt to reveal gloriously toned beefy biceps as the nurse administered his flu shot
ok this view is def worth the pain
as expected, he took it like a champ. manz didn't even tense up
afterwards he'll take you out for ice cream hehe
daichi 
when you confessed to daichi about your fear, he was so confused
"but i see you sewing stuff all the time?"
"dai that's different im not sticking the needle in my body bro"
ohhh ok ok now he gets it
he'll be so supportive the entire time!
"hey, i know you'll do great, okay? you're the bravest person i've ever met. you dont think a little thin piece of metal will get to you, do you baby?" he whispered reassuring words into your ear and brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face
when it was time for the nurse to give you the shot, you curled your body towards him ever-so-slightly
but he noticed and he thought it was the cutest thing
"hey, i'll protect you, don't worr-" he was cut off
you were gripped his shirt tightly in your fist and wincing at the pain
"ow ow ow" you mumbled into his shoulders as you felt the sting
"you're doing so good, sweetheart," he ran his hand up and down your back, attempting to sooth you
when it's all finally over he'll drive you over to his place so he can cuddle and "protect" you from the scary movie he very conveniently insisted on playing.
kuroo
"babe, you know you have to get your flu shot. what if you accidentally pass a deadly flu to my grandpa? you'd have to stop coming over to my house,"
your loving boyfriend kuroo was currently trying to get you to release your tight grip from the front door of your house
"i don't want to get your grandpa sick, but i don't want to have a needle poke me," you wailed, tears flowing down your cheek
he got tired and just carried you in his strong arms to the car and drove to the hospital, despite your protests
"THIS IS KIDNAPPING TETSU, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME," you screamed
he just whistled and rolled down the windows so everyone can hear
ofc, you shut up right then and there
"i'll get you back for this," you hissed
once you got to the hospital, you had no other choice but to oblige to kuroo as he dragged you through the halls to the vaccination rooms
the nurse was kind, but your heart was pounding
"te-tetsu, will you hold my hand" you whimpered when the nurse went to retrieve the tray
"of course, babygirl", he replied, putting his hands on top of your trembling ones
his large hands completely enveloped yours
when the nurse pricked the syringe into your arm, he squeezed your hands
"see, that wasn't too bad, right?"
"yeah, whatever" *sniffle sniffle*
also the type to take you for ice cream afterwards.
sakusa
"you may not come near me until you have received your flu shot," your beloved boyfriend declared
"omi omi but i need you. and also we were just cuddling this morning bruh" you pouted. "please please please will you come with me" *cue the puppy eyes*
"fine" he grunted. 
at the hospital he refuses to sit next to you, insisting that he stands def not bc he's concerned abt the germs on the seat
when you froze upon seeing the needle, he put one of his big hands on your shoulder
"you can hold my hand," 
"really?"
"don't make me take it back"
"okie"
you put your other hand on top of his, your arm draping across your body
his fingers intertwined around yours and clasped it when you winced at the pain
he'll draw you a bath when you get home and wash your body for you!!
so sweet and loving 10/10 experience
akaashi
you were currently hiding under a desk
specifically, the doctor's desk
"my love. it's no use if you hide, we're already here," akaashi sighed
he spent the last 2 hours dragging you to the nearest clinic for a flu shot
"you need to protect yourself so you don't get hurt," he had explained calmly
only for you, his sassy s/o to retort
"so why are you dragging me to a clinic just so i can get punctured by a needle? isn't that like, pain? which im supposed to protect myself from?"
someone help this poor bby boy
but somehow he had managed to lure you into the clinic
"alright. this is the last level i have to conquer. and then everything should be fine again" he thought to himself.
just the shot. just a lil pinch. right?
w r o n g
you were hysterical and sobbing
frankly, he felt really bad. but this had to happen at some point, right? after all, your fear of needles had started since you were a child. he was bound to have experienced something like this, as your dutiful boyfriend
he actually felt really bad
so he turned to the method that has worked for him time and time again to sooth his anxiety
"here, play with my fingers, it'll distract you" he reached out his hand to you and helped you out from under the desk
it worked!!
when the nurse came back, he rubbed the back of your hand,  a silent "im here for you"
definitely lots of comfort and cuddles afterward!
"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
shibayama
the syringe was right in front of you and the nurse was currently disinfecting your arm with the alcohol wipe.
when he saw you tense up at the touch, he'll whisper lots of reassuring words into your ears 
"hey. you got this, i promise! it'll just be a little sting, and the pain is only temporary."
when he saw tears welling up in your eyes, he'll swipe them away with his thumb, caressing your cheeks.
"make me proud," 
how could you say no to his puppy eyes?? 
"i'll try, yuuki," you sniffled
he put his hand on your shoulder, gently drumming his fingers to the tune of your favorite song to help distract you
his other hand rubbing your palm
after everything's done, he'll give the bandaid little kisses!! 
awwww he's trying to kiss ur pain away my sweet baby
he wants you to know that even through pain, he'll be there by your side.
will take you out for ice cream pt.3
tags!!: @aka-a-shii (anna thank you for getting me into writing i hope i did akaashi justice), @toshisgarden (ily big sis mwah) @gigis-galaxy(bc ILY GIGI)
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darth-does-stuff · 3 years
Text
mothers day time pals 
time to procrastinate on my school work B)
ok so dee
the guy goes all out cause he loves his mother
im talking breakfast in bed, doing all of the chores, making dinner, and generally just making this the most luxurious day for his mom
also his moms name is Aurora cause i like it
dee’s mom always tries her best for dee, so dee decided to do a switchy switch
dee uses this day as an excuse to spoil his mother lmao
aurora is very thankful and very amused
just sees this dee zooming through the house, the most concentrated look on his face
also dee bleps when concentrated/focused i dont make the rules
logan
this day is,,,complicated for him
even on the weekend, his parents arent really at home as their work calls them in usually
his mother tries to stay home, but she has to go to work most of the time
so, when she is able to get home, logan tries to do nice things for her, but also just spend quality time with her cause he doesnt get to do that normally
so its a very chill atmosphere when she is able to stay home
(lo’s mom’s name is Harper Lee Cain cause i love it and his dad’s name is Peter Cain) 
when she isnt able to stay home, lo is honestly kinda sad
not for himself, tho thats part of the reason, but because the day is supposed to be all about harper, but she doesnt get it cause she has work
and he sees all of his friends having fun with their mom and its kinda hard for him
sometimes his friends invite them to hang out because everybody's mom loves everyone in the crew, even if they are chaotic, so thats nice
so,,,he has very mixed emotions about this day, to say the least
geez im only 2 people in and its already a long post im scared for how many tags imma have to put smh
Pat
he and his siblings (and his older sister if she is able to make it back home) always collaborate together to make it the best day for their mom
 (ok imma make a separate post for everybody's names for siblings and parents cause god there is a lot)
its like what dee does, but way more chaotic cause there are little kids and not everything is gonna go to plan lmao
their dad also helps and makes it more chaotic 
like, streamers, balloons, pastries, confetti e v e r y w h e r e, it looks like a birthday party threw up on the Aella household
10/10 very fun, v random, v nonsensical, and its great
Virgil
its actually pretty chill there
he, his dad, and his brother all collaborate ofc, but they know that she doesnt like surprises 
so like, some brownies, gifts, a card, they make dinner, and thats about it
just very chill in general
their mom appreciates it
Ro and Re
oh
oh god
they go over the top
like
very over the top
take pats and multiply it by 100 and your almost there
confetti ankle high, a baby babbling on confused in their crib, a giant card, more confetti, gifts galore, streamers, more confetti, a cake like 3 tiers
their mother is,,,so so tired
but also very grateful and amused lmao
while the twins and their dad just grin, very proud of themselves
*chef’s kiss*
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dr3am-t3am · 4 years
Text
quick comment i wanted to make on the fan art issue, that i would’ve put on twitter if it weren't for its stupid character limit
i really really do understand both sides. in all honesty, im not mad at all, bc i think the issue is more with twitter itself than either dream or the artists, but tensions got rlly high last night and i feel for everyone that was affected. i do wanna say tho, the twitter algorithm really puts artists at a h u g e disadvantage. 
to everyone and anyone affected, pls feel free to talk to me? and if you have fan art, feel free to message me w/ it. im v far from anything resembling a big account both here and on twitter, but i will definitely boost ur art if u send it ! we really can't expect ccs to see or boost our art, just from the crappiness of social media algorithms alone, but when artists work together to help each other and such we can still make sure that all of our art is appreciated and loved by the community. love y'all !! <3 <3 <3
more hypothetical discussion and thoughts under the cut
again, i am a fanartist. i am also a fanfic writer, and i started on tumblr, so i know that bc of my experiences, im gonna be a lot less? affected? i guess by limited interactions from ccs. on tumblr, there’s no way you're gonna get noticed by ccs (which is a perk, sometimes) and when you’re a fanfic writer you really dont even ask for positive attention you really just want people to stop giving you negative attention haha
that being said, i understand people’s frustration with dream bc he hasn’t been interacting as much with art. i maintain that this frustration should be more directed to the twitter algorithm, tho. 
(who’s ready for some hypothetical math?)
let’s say that an artist takes 1 hour to make one piece of art. this is honestly, really really dang fast, many detailed full pieces of art take 2-3 hours at least, and many others will take 8, 10, or even more. but we’re gonna give the artist the benefit of the doubt anyways and say that they take 1 hour. 
Now how about stan accounts? Let’s say that they make 5 posts an hour. This is honestly, probably a low ball! Each post takes a few seconds to make, a lot of the time, and plenty of accounts are much more active than posting every 12 minutes. But we’re gonna, again, make this situation the best possible situation for the artist, and let’s say that the stan account only posts 5 times an hour. Even with this situation, for each post that the artist makes, assuming that they @ dream every time, he’s going to see 5 posts by a stan account.
Artists also tend to be very outnumbered on twitter, so let’s say for every artist, there are 10 stan accounts. Let’s assume that they also make 5 posts an hour. So for each artist that shows up in dream’s notifications, he’s going to see 50 posts by stan accounts.
But artists get fatigued! We’re going to go with a high estimate again with 4 fully finished pieces a day. (this is insane! keep in mind, even if we’re lowballing the time put in, this is still 4 hours a day of art. for most artists, their fully finished pieces take 2, 3, 4 hours. four pieces a day would put them at 8-16 hours of work!!). on the other hand, stan account posts take a lot less time to make, and are much less likely to make them fatigued. Therefore, we can assume that the stan accounts, posting 5 times an hour, can stay active for 8 hours a day. 
What does this put us at? For every post that an artist makes with a fully finished piece of art, dream is seeing 100 notifications from stan accounts. This doesn’t even include how dream is more likely to respond to those who interact with his tweets, which is nigh impossible for artists because they cannot make a piece of art to reply to his posts in the ~5 minutes that he will look at the replies to the post he posts. I also made this situation the best possible situation for the artist. In reality, I can only make about one fully finished piece a day, and more often will go two or three days without posting. There are also far more stan accounts than artists, stan accounts are often active for longer than 8 hours and post more than once every 12 minutes. The real ratio might be more like 1 in 200, 300, 400. Just because of the algorithm, artists are pretty dang screwed.
Dream has been making efforts to help with this, such as through the dreamfanart tag! this manages to filter out all of the stan accounts, and when fan artists use it he’s going to be much more likely to see the art. even so, the amount of artists he will actually interact with is very low. it’s just the way the website works, when his notifications are definitely constantly flooded, when artists are so easily drowned out by the literal army of stan accounts on twitter. in the end, it’s really up to artists to hype each other up and support each other. My best advice for if you want more appreciation and interaction are:
1. use the dreamfanart tag! again, this manages to filter out most of the stan account activity, and will help other people to find your art if you’re a relatively new artist
2. self advertise! retweet your own art, reply with your art under people’s posts hyping up artists, dont be afraid to put yourself out there. if you want your voice to be heard in the sound of all these other accounts, you have to be loud!
3. interact with other artists! by helping and hyping up other artists, theyre more likely to do so with you. artists are a pretty small population of dttwt, and we have to support each other to get anywhere. retweet, like, reply to people’s art. follow dttwt artists and support them! 
4. love your art for what you’ve already done. this is the hardest part, especially when you put hours into a piece and see it get like, less than 10 likes. i have been there, and it sucks. but your art is Good. you put your time, effort, and heart into that, and regardless of how other people respond, you did good and im proud of you. <3
a last note: i have to admit, i wasn't the most comfortable with all of the dttwt artists bullying and venting their frustrations at dream, specifically, for “ignoring” fan artists. could he have interacted more? definitely. but i dont think he was by any means trying to “ignore” fan artists. his notifications are swamped, his tl is swamped. twitter works in a way where a day or two after you make a piece of art, it’s pretty much buried and lost forever. last night he was just trying to do a good thing by shouting out some small accounts in the community. fan artists, i am a part of you, and i feel your pain and frustration, but please don’t speak out of a place of anger. it’s far too easy to say something, publicly, that you’ll regret. i do not condone any of the hate sent anywhere, especially to fan artists last night, but let’s all remember to be kind and build each other up, ok? We’re all in this together, ccs, stan accounts, fan artists. we’re all doing this because we love the dteam and the content they make. don’t lose sight of why we’re here in the first place <3 
again, love you guys so much. take care of yourselves! im proud of all of you, fan artists, fanfic writers, any and all creators, as well as those of you who are just here to express your love for the dteam. be kind and support one another, ok? <3 
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🌻🌻🌻🌻 🚜 it's like a little garden!
hello lil garden <3 im gonna pick all the floweurs :3
there are like two dreams i remember pretty vividly: one, i had stigmata. (fun fact: i’m a jew) i woke up and i could feel the pain in my palms and feet. i was like. maybe in fifth or sixth grade. everything happens when i’m 13 or 14 because i have exactly zero memory and Bad Brain Disorder Origin Years just makes everything a sad mockery of mashed potatoes
the second dream i remember vividly was essentially that i discovered a door to Wonderland (and listen here u lil shits: i’m not a big Wonderland person, not even a Mad Hatter kinda gal despite whatever my past has said about me, and also my Jervis Tetch is super valid and prob one of the best out there you’re welcome) in this honestly gorgeous old mansion. the kind that’s just. tons of dark wood, narrow halls, winding and yet there’s a lot of natural light, like gorgeous. and i found a door to Wonderland and holy fucking shit
what i would give to actually find a door to that Wonderland, bye y’all peace it’s been a gas but i gotta run
so after i left i wanted to go back, and i had a rough time finding the portal and ok long story short it turned out i had to go deal with a unicorn cult (it was more intense than that but hey, cults amirite) in order to get the reagents to go back to Wonderland and i suddenly found myself falling in a huge cave and the spirit healer from WoW was there so that says a lot about where i was in my life at the time
still tryna go back to Wonderland
i made this guy in Sims4 and he’s really fuckin cute and i named him Lane Morgans. i’m gonna put his tag on this post so maybe you’ll go take a look at him and see how amazing he is but i’m just gonna jerk myself off here too
(also sidenote, Salutations (my farmer in sdv, also top notch) is his uncle and when i wrote up his first char sheet i fucked up his last name bc his last name can’t be Morgans, but i’ll give him another one Soon(tm) (no i won’t))
Lane is a retired rollercoaster engineer who is now writing romance novels. he’s doing absolutely amazingly and his twitter a mess in a good way. he wishes he was Chuck Tingle’s bff. his novels aren’t modeled after Tingle’s (hehe), he writes very well rounded, interesting, and diverse romance that doesn’t take itself seriously. because i do what i want, he’s pretty well known and on several bestsellers.
he’s like in his 40s by now i think and he’s a late transitioner. he’s a divorcee (he and his ex wife are really good friends it’s all good) and he had his son Ellis awhile back (who is just a whole dutch cookie tin of crayons and then some). at a singles mixer he met a gardener who would be his future husband and everything is amazing now
also side braids and ponytails run in the family i guess
(actually Salutations has been side ponytail like all his life and Lane was enchanted by it so he side braids. Salutations is very proud)
i still think about it honestly i was really into keeping up to date with junk food news and food product for a while there but the popular sites were starting to piss me off with their rating systems and reviews like holy entitlement and superiority complex, batman! so i dropped out of it, like the only one that is still super valid is onsecondscoop.com tho it’s been a real hot minute since
i have a lot of my parents’ vinyls and that includes The Beatles white album with some water damage bc i guess my dad knocked something over at some point but also the good stuff like Fleetwood Mac, Linda Ronstadt, America, Seals and Crofts, a lot of musicals, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot, Cat Stevens (now Yusuf), Earth, Wind, and Fire, Marvin Gaye and more!!! (and i left a whole shitload in chicago too) and it’s very telling about my musical tastes. 
i had ordered Arctic Monkeys’s AM album and it skipped on No. 1 Party Anthem and some other song and so i was like :\ and ordered another and you’ll never guess,
a few songs stand out to me:
Gordon Lightfoot’s Approaching Lavender 
Seals and Crofts’s Hummingbird
Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs
James Taylor’s Never Die Young, Line ‘Em Up, Shower The People
(the Fleetwood Mac and James Taylor songs are specifically the ones i was introduced to with, as in the Live versions of Silver Springs and Shower The People)
for those who don’t know i’m also a huge Enya fan (LOTR was good to me) and Dark Sky Island was sick af btw, and also Donna Lewis’s entire Now In A Minute album is pretty fuckin close to my soul
however probably my favorite song, most sacred to me, hard to explain it but just the. whew the memories attached is I Love You Always Forever
furthermore a song that still really creeps me out (that also has an origin story attached to it) is 98 Degrees a cappella cover of She’s Out Of My Life (yep! still no thanks)
i grew up around a cappella since my mom is like a lifetime member of the Sweet Adelines womens a cappella organization or w/e so yeah and i’m not ognna link this on bc it’s a bitch to find just by itself, but Lida Rose from The Music Man is also a fist clench...
now on a more depressing note but one i have mention, Spice Girls’s Viva Forever is uuuhhh hhhhhhhhh hhhhhhnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm 
anyway my dad used to travel overseas for work and when i was younger he went to Germany (and he’d go back there several times after) and he brought me back my first jar of Nutella. naturally i lost my entire shit, and imagine my surprise when Nutella got really big in America lmao he’d brought that jar home like. uh. 7, 9 years prior?? idk guys, ages and math, but it was funny to me
best fucking gingerbread recipe is by Nigella Lawson and i found it in her book How To Be A Domestic Goddess and it’s right fucking here ur welcome 
i’m definitely one of those people who picks a book with a cool cover, reads a couple pages and then decides if i’m taking it or not and that’s how i found like so many good books
ask me about The Passage series and how i am both in love with it and kinda mad (also lmao @ the failed TV show y’all fuckin dumb as hell)
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actually all qs cuz I wanna get to know u :) boink!
OF COURSE BOINK ANON!
I will be excluding the ones Ive done (:
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Wine glasses/water bottles c:
3. bubblegum or cotton candy? Bubblegum! im not really a big fan of cotton candy tbh.
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? for some reason, soda from plastic cups hit different 😞
7. earbuds or headphones? headphones in the winter, earbuds in the summer.
9. favorite smell in the summer? the smell of my oncoming de- the smell of flowers blooming.
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? it depends, some mornings I skip breakfast all together, others i’ll have a light snack, or I just have some cereal or make an egg.
12. name of your favorite playlist? ‘Recently added’
13. lanyard or key ring? landyard so I can find my keys easily. I still lose it tho-
14. favorite non-chocolate candy? spicy or sour candies are dope a f.
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? The first book I read that I actually enjoyed was twilight.
16. most comfortable position to sit in? with my legs w I d e open because I cant sit properly.
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? my tan/floral converses.
18. ideal weather? cloudy, cold, and raining 😌.
19. sleeping position? on my stomach, leg raised to my abdomen while the other is in the open air, and hands underneath my pillow. the BEST.
21. obsession from childhood? picking my scabs-
22. role model? my mom and sisters.
24. favorite crystal? garnet. It’s also my birthstone! I have it as a gem for my class ring.
25. first song you remember hearing? “bidi bidi mom mom” by selena quintanilla.
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? if it’s not scorching hot, go on walks.
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? snuggle up in a blanket and watch movies.
28. five songs to describe you? ‘humble’ kendrick lamar, ‘cry baby’ melanie martinez, ‘stupid’ ashnikko, ‘paparazzi’ lady gaga, ‘or nah’ ty dollar $ign.
29. best way to bond with you? send me M E M E S-
30. places that you find sacred? my bed.
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ripped jeans, boots, a crop top, and a jacket.
33. most used phrase in your phone? fuck.
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that empire carpet wash commercial.
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? DAT BOI.
37. suitcase or duffel bag? duffel bag.
38. lemonade or tea? how about both of them combined 😉.
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? I hate pie 🙊
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? someone brought a gun and it fell out of their backpack during 2nd period.
41. last person you texted? @caws5749
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? pants pockets. BUT THE DEEP ONES NOT THOSE SMALL FUCKING ONES.
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodies or a bomber jacket.
44. favorite scent for soap? Lavender.
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? superhero!
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? naked-
47. favorite type of cheese? queso fresco.
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? mango.
49. what saying or quote do you live by? “im a bad bitch you cant kill me”
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? anytime my friends and I joke around.
51. current stresses? school, personal issues, and my NEW JOB THATS RIGHT YALL YO GIRL EMPLOYED.
52. favorite font? calibri.
53. what is the current state of your hands? kinda rough but smooth.
54. what did you learn from your first job? that people fucking suck.
55. favorite fairy tale? little red riding hood.
56. favorite tradition? eating tamales during christmas time.
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? that im not perfect, my flaws are just as beautiful as my perfections, and that im just ug-
58. four talents you’re proud of having? im not talented aT ALL. uh...
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? ‘let’s fuck ‘em up’
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? sasuke from naruto or mey-rin from kuroshitsuji.
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? “see you in a minute”
62. seven characters you relate to? natasha, cristina yang, dexter, ford, thor, scott lang, and tony.
63. five songs that would play in your club? ‘bodak yellow’, ‘man of the year’, ‘rockstar’, ‘bickenhead’, ‘slumber party’.
64. favorite website from your childhood? I forgot the name but it was that educational site with the orange robot and human.
65. any permanent scars? my entire body is riddled in scars no joke.
66. favorite flower(s)? hibiscus and roses.
67. good luck charms? my dog’s name tag.
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? onions-
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? that cracking your joints won't give you arthritis.
70. left or right handed? im mixed handed but I do the majority of stuff with my right.
71. least favorite pattern? plaid.
72. worst subject? MATH FJSKSJKFSJS I HATE IT.
73. favorite weird flavor combo? have yall tried chocolate milk with chicken nuggets-
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 8-9 because I tend to fight back and not admit there is something wrong going on 😬.
75. when did you lose your first tooth? 2nd grade I believe.
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? for some reason my love of tater tots has come back.
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? uh cacti?
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? coffee from a gas station cus im not trying to die-
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? oh man, I look like shit in both of them. School id.
80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones!
81. fireflies or lightning bugs? ive never seen either 😔.
82. pc or console? i’ve own consoles for most of my life.
83. writing or drawing? writing. I cant draw very well.
84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts! I listen to ‘last podcast on the left’.
84. barbie or polly pocket? barbies! did anyone make their barbies have sex or was it just me-?
85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology. yall don't know this but I have fallen into the greek mythology rabbit hole-
86. cookies or cupcakes? I fuck heavy with cupcakes TILL THIS DAY.
87. your greatest fear? to see those I love die.
88. your greatest wish? to be happy.
89. who would you put before everyone else? myself.
90. luckiest mistake? guessing on a question and getting it right 😎.
91. boxes or bags? i’ll go with boxes. it makes everything easier to stack and organize.
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? fairy lights are so pretty.
93. nicknames? clown by @caws5749, bottom by @domromanoff, and variations of my real name.
94. favorite season? fall/winter TIMEEEEE.
95. favorite app on your phone? mario kart. if anyone wants to be friends give me your friend code-
96. desktop background? it’s black with a colorful smoke cloud exploding.
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? mine and my oldest sister’s because she has had that same number since I was in the WOMB.
98. favorite historical era? I would say the WWII era since ive studied more about it than any other era.
UPDATE; this would've been done last night but my screen decided to just crash and not save anything I had done and my girl sent my ass to bed so I couldn't finish it but here ya go boink!
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softscholasticism · 6 years
Text
•delilah, darling•
rami malek x oc | ch. 2
a/n: ahh im so sorry that i made y’all emotional with the first chapter... um this one isnt any better... sorry?? anyway, once again, thank you so much for reading, THANK YOU FOR 500 FOLLOWERS, and if you’d like to be tagged please let me know:) AND THANK YOU FOR BEING SO PATIENT
word count: 6k+
warnings: angst, manipulative boyfriend, and deacy gets super pissed at the end so yeah. ALSO MARY DOESN’T OWN GARDEN LODGE OR EXIST IN THIS UNIVERSE, BC FICTION. also this chapter isn’t that great so i guess that’s another warning.
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chapter one
C H A P T E R T W O: you get away with murder
Summer, 2010
The Garden Lodge was quiet this morning. Delilah had received the Lodge from Uncle Fred in his will along with a rather large sum of money. Jim had lived with her for as long as he could until he had passed at the beginning of the year. She lived a quiet life, mourning the loss of so  many people in her life. Even with Freddie’s death being so traumatic for her, she couldn’t be prepared for Jim’s death. She had been with him right until the end just as he had been there for Freddie. She had spent the last 6 months going through the motions of life, using a scheduled life as a distraction from the emptiness of her Godfather and Jim’s passing.
She hadn’t been the same since November 24, 1991 and it showed. She barely talked to her family and only spoke to Phoebe, Roger, Brian and her parents when she put it in her schedule. Of course, her parents understood, John had stepped down from his position in Queen due to Fred’s death becoming too much for him as well as needing to focus on his family and being there for them. The only thing that kept Delilah going was the small, golden locket that hung from her neck. Delilah was a woman now, no longer the little girl that been playful and so loving, she believed she had been a woman since Freddie’s passing. She longed for hope and joy she had once found in her Godfather, she wanted it so desperately but she didn’t know how.
On a day like today, Delilah had planned to go through her typical regiment. She woke up, drank coffee, read a book, gardened, ate lunch, read some more, call one of her uncles and her dad, ate dinner, went to bed but not before curling up with tears shining in her blue eyes.
When Delilah was eight, she remembered Freddie talking about the “in-between moments” where life is just kind of mundane and thoughts aren’t distracted by activities. In her 29 years of age, she now understood what her Uncle was talking about. She shrunk back into her mind, allowing memories of her past to overwhelm her. Delilah pretended that her blanket was a pair of arms, trying to form some kind of comfort  and fill the void that had raged upon her. The void filled her like a wildfire, the flames swallowing every sense of peace she had and left her with ashes of her past. She could try to pretend like everything was okay, but once she wasn’t distracted her thoughts came back to haunt her, breaking her heart all over again.
Something was different about this day however, Delilah was out gardening, the sound of tourists coming to visit the lodge and leaving presents or notes to her Uncle. She didn’t mind however. Delilah understood what is was like to mourn, so it didn’t bother her that people came to leave anecdotes about Freddie, in fact she thought it was lovely. People saw just how special Fred was in the same way that Delilah did, so who was she to deprive people of expressing their feelings when she felt the same way? The brunette enjoyed hearing people singing to the Garden Lodge or just the white noise of people reminiscing about her Godfather while she gardened. So here she was, picking some weeds out from the flower bed, softly smiling at the buzz of Garden Lodge. She worked quietly, her hair pulled back in a braid due to the Deacon gene of fluffy hair, the other workers in the Lodge moved around as well, gardening or cleaning amongst other jobs.
Suddenly, the shrill ring of the telephone roared over the tourists and workers, taking Delilah out of her focus, a worker came and fetched her saying that it was her father. Delilah’s eyebrows furled in confusion, typically she was the one to call him after she had finished her work in the lodge. John knew that she needed to keep her schedule and that she didn’t much like change in order to stay sane, so Delilah figured this was something important. Her stomach dropped at that thought, the last time someone called her it was always brought bad memories. Calls always meant that someone had passed or became sick or would ask her about Freddie. She liked to start the calls because it gave her control over the conversation, distracting her from the in-between moments that she hated.
Solemnly, she nodded her head, taking her gloves off she walked inside to the phone that the worker was carrying. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, “Hi, Dad.” Her heart was beating rather quickly in anxiety, not knowing how to react to this change in her daily regiment.
“Delilah, darling!” Delilah winced at the nickname, not wanting to think of where her family had coined that phrase. “I’m sorry for calling you so early, but I wanted to ask you something.” John was nervous, his niece had voiced her dislike of change but he wanted her to live, not just go through each day doing the same thing over and over again. He didn’t want her to become like him and he was afraid that that had already happened.
“That’s quite alright, Dad, I was just gardening. What’s up?” Her hands were shaking, this was so different, she despised different. John proceeded to explain that he needed a book to read that someone had told him about, of course, John couldn’t go and get it himself because he much preferred to stay home. He mentioned that all of her other siblings were either gone or busy and couldn’t go get it and that she was the only one who could do it. “What about Mum, couldn’t she go get it for you?” Delilah knew how busy her siblings always were, so she understood, but the idea of leaving Garden Lodge was a daunting task.
“No, no your mother has friends over. Please could you do this for me, Delilah?” John felt horrible. In fact, he didn’t need the bloody book at all. He just wanted her to get out of that house and do something. “You could go to that one coffee place you’ve been dying to try because they have special type of milk they use in their drinks. And yes, Bri and Rog did tell me that you talked about wanting to go by it, so I know that you want to go.” And there it was, Delilah knew why he called. He might’ve needed the book but she knew how badly he wanted her to go out and away from the  place that haunted her dreams. A somber feeling washed over her, her father just wanted her to get better, he understood her best and she recognized his desire for her happiness when he probably was feeling the same as she was.
Delilah nodded her head, “Of course, Dad. I’ll go get it for you and the coffee, I’ll grab one for you too if you’d like?” John laughed in victory and did a little happy dance around his telephone, expressing how that bringing him coffee would be lovely. He told her how proud he was of her and to be careful. Delilah shook her head as she giggled at her father’s antics and told him goodbye. She told the worker to fetch her car and soon she was off, the people in front of the lodge recognized her and tried to get close but she was faster. While she did appreciate their love for her uncle, she didn’t want to be hounded by them.
The ride to the bookstore was calm, on the inside she was freaking out at her schedule change but it felt almost rebellious in a way. Her fingers shook with excitement as she parked, stepping out the air felt lighter. The bookstore was a petite building, the inside was warm. As she walked around looking at the Lodge, Delilah realized that the Lodge had begun to grow cold, yes, she had the workers company along with her two dogs, but it still felt so empty. She knew why it felt empty, but she wanted to hold onto the memories that were held in Garden Lodge so she stayed in it. The small store had bookcases that touched the ceiling and had multiple bean bags or couches so people could sit and read. It brought back a childlike awareness that she barely let herself experience.
After grabbing the book her father needed, she walked around for much longer than she needed to, buying multiple novels in the process so she could have more to read in the Lodge. She had already been through most of the books in the Library that Freddie had turned one of the cat’s rooms into, the ones she hadn’t read were either things she read as a teenager or were silly things like dictionaries or encyclopedias that she had no patience for. Once Delilah had purchased all of the books she acquired, she began her walk to the coffee shop. Luckily it was a block away so she didn’t need to drive over there.
A soft clicking noise sounded from across the street, Delilah didn’t think anything of it though. She walked inside the coffee shop and was immediately hit by the strong smell of espresso, soft indie music playing in the background. Much like the bookstore, this coffee shop was so warm and cozy. There was also an upstairs spot that was considered a study area and had whiteboards and bean bags as well as couches with too many pillows. She had barely been in the building for five minutes and she was in love. Delilah still felt uncomfortable with being out in public but she was comforted by the soft atmosphere.
Making her way to the cashier, she was  met by one of the most beautiful men she’s ever laid eyes upon. He was tall around the same height as Uncle Brian probably. He skin was a deep brown, his eyes the same color, he was muscular too, much to her appreciation. “Excuse me, can I help you?” Delilah blushed and quickly apologized, not realizing that she had been staring for much too long. The man, Charles as his name tag provided, laughed lightly at her demeanor, saying that he didn’t mind. “What would you like?” Charles was intrigued, the woman had looked familiar and it did help that she was quite gorgeous.
Delilah, wanting to escape from her embarrassment, asked for a simple latte, something she was familiar with and comfortable with ordering. She rapidly paid and made her way to one of the small, two person tables, waiting patiently for her drink while wallowing in her distress. Delilah realized she had allowed herself to get stuck in her brain again because suddenly, Charles was sitting in front of her, holding her drink. She jumped practically out of her seat, not at all easing her nerves in front of this gorgeous specimen.
At first glance, Charles thought the woman was unique, she seemed shy and reserved, immediately he wanted to get to know her better. She seemed familiar and he couldn’t understand why. Maybe she had been to one of his gigs with his band or maybe she worked somewhere local, Charles couldn’t place his finger on it. He placed the drink in front of her and asked if they had met before.
“Oh, I don’t think so,” she laughed, hand covering her mouth, “I tend to stay at my home, I’m just running an errand for my father.” Charles nodded, understanding that people could seem familiar but really had never met.
“I see, you don’t explore the town?” The man winked, he had started to get where he wanted to go, the woman was attractive and sweet, he figured a date would be fun. As he waited for a response, Delilah nodded her head, because it was true, she never explored the city, she wanted to but it was too much of a risk for someone to recognize her and too often she saw something that reminded her of Jim and her Godfather, it was too much for her  to handle. Charles however, a man she had just met, who seemed interested in her, was proposing an excuse to leave the Lodge, in a flirty manner at that.
“No, I suppose I don’t, but I would like an excuse to, I perhaps.” Delilah flirted back, her hand sliding towards his own. He noticed what she was doing and knew he was on the right track to what he wanted. Charles stood and grasped her hand, kissing it lightly.
“I’m afraid I have to go back to work, but I’m free on Saturday.” A blush rose to Delilah’s cheeks, she sipped her latte and nodded. She had never been in a relationship before due to her being scared her heart was going to be ripped apart even more than it already had been. But Brian and Rog had been adamant that she needed friends or even a boyfriend, she figured she would make them proud.
Charles knew he had to initiate because this woman was so shy but he didn’t mind. “Let’s say seven o’clock?” He grabbed a napkin and wrote his number on it, handing it to her, enjoying the redness that fluttered and grew deeper than humanly possible. Delilah nodded, grateful that Charles left her to her coffee as she tried to comprehend what had just happened.
The brown-haired girl turned the napkin over, blue ink scribbled across but could clearly read a number and the words “see ya on saturday, love xx”. For the first time, in what seemed like forever, Delilah had plans during the weekend, something she hasn’t allowed herself to have since Fred’s death.
She called Brian and Roger immediately, realizing she had to figure out what one did on a date.
SATURDAY
“Love, you need to hurry up or else you’ll be late.” Roger exclaimed, not helping with Delilah’s stress levels, Brian was currently deciding which shoes his niece should wear. Delilah had settled the plans with Charles over text, they were going to meet at the coffee shop and he would drive them to the restaurant. Delilah suggested somewhere small and local, preferably not busy as well as them meeting up at a neutral site. She didn’t quite trust him yet to expose where she lived. Luckily, he complied and told her not to worry about dressing up either, he was adamant that she was comfortable for their first date.
Brian settled on some white chelsea boots to go with the high waisted Levi’s and coral blouse. He grabbed the shoes and walked over to where the brown haired woman was sitting and handed the shoes to her. Delilah smiled softly, adding the finishing touches to her look before putting the boots on with shaking hands.
Delilah had never allowed herself to get close to anyone besides her immediate family including Brian, Rog, and Phoebe. She had tried to a few times previously but everyone just wanted to meet her dad or ask her uncomfortable, intimate questions about Freddie that she didn’t have the strength to answer. So, she gave up the pleasure of having friends and kept to herself. But now Delilah was nearing thirty, it was time she broke out of her shell and make her life more worthwhile than the same repeated schedule every day.
“Alright, I think I need to get going. Are you guys going to hang out here for a while? You’re more than welcome to stay of course.” Delilah stood, grabbing her keys and purse, wringing her hands in nerves.
“Yeah, love. We’ll stay here just in case you need anything.” Roger wrapped an arm around the woman, kissing her cheek. They were just as nervous as she was, Delilah had been through so much heartbreak in her life and Roger as well as Brian didn’t think she could handle another one.
A huge weight was lifted off of Delilah’s shoulders, she had her uncles to watch over her just in case anything had gone awry and she couldn’t be more grateful for them. With this release of tension, Delilah kissed and hugged both of her uncles and set off, the workers all wishing her good luck as they finished up their duties and head back to their homes.
The drive to the cafe was much easier this time, Delilah knew what she was doing and hadn’t felt this excited about something in, forever it seemed like. As she parked, she saw Charles waiting for her with flowers, her favorite ones too: daisies. Delilah had no clue how he had known that she loved daisies but she didn’t care because here was an extremely attractive man, with flowers for her, about to take her to dinner, what more could she want?
“Hi, love,” Charles voice was even more smooth than it had been when she had first met him. He looked at her up and down as he approached her, “my do you look absolutely ravishing.” He sighed, kissing her cheek before presenting the flowers. Delilah’s blush wrapped around her cheeks to her ears, flattered by the show of affection of an outsider which of course, Charles was very excited to see the rosiness appear.
“We have reservations soon and it’s about a five minute walk, is that alright?” Delilah was still quiet, her nerves trying to dampen but she let out a smile and nodded. He brought his arm out for her to grab and together the two walked to a small restaurant that seemed extremely modern, but not noisy or busy much to Delilah’s appreciation. A waiter brought them to their table, the restaurant had a warm vibe to it as the couple sat down. The tables were a dark wood, one soft light over their heads along with a candle placed on the table. It was everything Delilah would dream of for a first date location-wise. So far, she was quite impressed with Charles decisions.
“Thank you for bringing me here and the flowers.” Delilah spoke softly, placing her hair behind her ear. Charles smiled one of the whitest smiles she had ever seen and put his hand in hers across the table.
“You deserve everything and more.” Delilah could melt into the chair and would be perfectly fine. Together they continued dinner, making conversation. Both were asking questions about each other’s family but Delilah was delighted when she realized that Charles wasn’t prying. That may have been because he didn’t know her past or who she was associated with or that he could tell that family was a tough subject for her. He never ever pushed her and she couldn’t feel more satisfied with this date so far.
His eyes shifted to her locket, he remembered seeing it the first time he had seen her, he figured that she wore it often. “I like your locket, where’s it from?” He saw her hand move towards the locket,  the light glinting off of the golden jewelry. It looked old, worn from use. It took her a while before she spoke, when she looked at him, her eyes were watery and Charles was worried he hit a soft spot.
“I got it from my Uncle when I was 10, he passed away a little after that.” Delilah sniffed and looked back down at the locket, twisting the chain in her long fingers. Charles grasped her chin, he didn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to say. His family was large, he didn’t know what it was like to lose someone so close. So, he figured just being there for her would suffice. Again, he didn’t pry because he felt as though it wasn’t his place.
Delilah was at a loss of words, on one end, her heart was aching at having to think about the loss of Freddie but the  other end was filled with so much joy because Charles didn’t try to make her feel better, he didn’t try to ask what happened or try to make the loss seem less than it was. He just proceeded to care for her and hold her, and for Delilah that was enough.
The date ended with Delilah insisting she paid for dessert. Charles had done so much and treated her with so much care, Delilah couldn’t remember the last time she had this much fun as well as how nice it was to have a companion that was relatively the same age instead of 60 year old rock stars (even though she loved them more than anything). After paying for dessert, Delilah and Charles walked out, not before Charles held the door open and placed a warm hand to her lower back. He further wrapped his arm around her leading her to her car. As the two walked closer to the car, she saw two very familiar faces waiting for her by the car thus causing Delilah’s heart to come to a full stop.
There at the end of her car was Roger and Brian. Roger Taylor, famous drummer of queen and car extraordinaire and Brian May the actual guitar hero, Delilah’s uncles.
“Oh my god.” Delilah quickly turned Charles around to face him away from them. She grabbed her phone out of her pocket and quickly realized that she had never updated Brian and Roger, she had almost 50 texts and at least 20 calls from both. Since Delilah never goes out, they worry about her constantly and like to be updated.
Delilah didn’t want to have to break the news to Charles like this, the date had been everything she wanted and so, so much more. She couldn’t bring herself to be frustrated at Brian or Rog, they were just looking out for her, Delilah’s anxiety however, was becoming a monster because this would make or break the desire of a second date.
Charles eyes drew concerned, Delilah’s whole demeanor changed within an instant. He moved to turn around and see what she was looking at but her grip was surprisingly too strong.
“Charles, I need to tell you something,” Her hands were white with how hard she was gripping him. Charles’ hands moved to her waist in order to ground the anxious woman. “You must understand that I didn’t tell you this because I was worried that you would think differently of me. It’s also not exactly my favorite subject because it brings bad memories that I would rather not think about.” Delilah continued to ramble until Charles placed his hands from her hips to her cheeks.
The woman sighed, Roger and Brian were about to approach when she shook her head, motioning for them to stop. Charles moved to see what was bothering her but again, she held him tightly. With a large inhale, she spoke.
“My family is famous.” That was so not how she had meant to word it but, it was too late. “My dad was a bass player for a band called Queen.” She watched as Charles eyes grew as wide as saucers, he realized why she had seemed so familiar from the first time he had met her. One of his musical idols is John deacon because he inspired Charles to play bass in his band. Charles had countless books and posters about Queen and read so many things on John’s bass playing, he was a very strong Queen fan. He didn’t know how he hadn’t realized it earlier but then again, this was only their second date.
He didn’t continue, not exactly knowing what to say because how does one react to the fact that they’ve got a famous girlfriend or partner. She continued to explain who her dad was and that Brian and Roger were her main source of contact since John preferred to stay quiet, which Charles knew of course from his research.
As she finished, Delilah allowed the man to turn around and come face to face with the people he had been idolizing for his entire life. Somehow during their date, the topic of Charles’ band never came up so she had no idea that he was a) a bass player or b) a huge Queen fan, so the prospect of meeting the two didn’t seem like a big deal, in the grand scheme of things.
This was it, Charles thought, this is how I’m going to be successful.
Fall, 2010
Delilah was backstage at one of Charles’ concerts, thinking about the time when he had broke her the news that he just so happened to play bass in a band and that she knew who her parents were and looked up to John. However, instead of getting the spiel about how he wanted to meet her parents, Charles respected her boundaries and allowed her to make the call for when they should meet.
The club that the gig was in was dark and filled with smoke. The only light source being the lights from the stage that bloomed with color and reflected off of the instruments and faces of the crowd. Delilah had been to many gigs, never fully in the crowd though. It was difficult at first for her boyfriend to get her to come but she came nonetheless. Charles’ concerts were much different than the ones she had been to, the crowd was only of hundreds and not hundred thousands, the band (known as Cash Only) played in very small venues with closed roof which was of course, a stark contrast to the Wembly’s and Budapest’s among other famous Queen venues. In a way, that’s what Delilah loved so much about these concerts, they didn’t allow her to think of her childhood, the just focused on music and the feeling that it brought, not the memories of Freddie’s warm hugs or encouraging words, or the luxurious things that her father and Roger would take them to do. Charles’ concerts allowed Delilah to enjoy music again.
This quickly became Delilah’s new and improved schedule, instead of staying at home all day and doing nothing, she hung out with Charles and went to lunches and fancy dinners. Delilah was content, a word she hadn’t used since in a very long time. She talked to her family more, even her siblings seemed like they wanted to talk to her! The concerts really helped to because while they were a great distraction from her past, they also let the woman pretend that for a second, just a small moment, that Delilah was back in those massive arenas with deafening screams. Delilah could pretend that Jim and Freddie were there and by the time Cash Only set was over, her blue eyes would by red from tears. Charles never questioned it, Delilah had opened up to him about her struggles with Freddie’s death as well as Jim’s. While Charles was a big Queen fan, Delilah noticed, he only ever asked about her father.
This normal schedule of concerts and hanging out would pass on for another month into the anniversary of Freddie’s death. Delilah had already told Charlie that she would prefer to be alone because she would be having her father, Rog and Brian over  the whole day. The four of them would all hang out together just supporting each other. Phoebe would come over later for supper, he much preferred to spend the day alone typically.
The morning of the anniversary rolled around like a thunderous cloud, black and thick with moisture. Delilah’s body felt heavy and her head pounded. The Lodge seemed especially empty on a day like this day. Charles had still never been to the Garden Lodge mainly for safety reasons, so it was still just the workers and Delilah. Delilah had her nails painted red in representation of AIDs awareness, sparkly of course because Freddie was known for his extravagance. The sunlight shone through the window and gleamed off of her bright red nails as she put her locket on, immediately sending her into tears of pure anguish. Her brain was going through the torturous moments of having to relive her last moments with a very sick Fred. As the years passed, missing him would never ever get any easier but this year felt especially gut-wrenching because it also meant the loss of his husband too, Jim.
By the time John had arrived, Roger and Brian were cooking breakfast, Delilah sat on a stool at the table with a large blanket surrounding her. No one spoke. No one needed to. They just needed each other’s presence and comfort to get through.
Throughout the day, the Lodge was quiet, the workers had warned them not to go outside because hundreds of mourners were at the gate of the lodge paying their respects. Delilah’s heart warmed because it didn’t matter that Freddie’s death was almost twenty years previous, he still had such an impact on such a large audience, she could never ever turn the mourners away from the Lodge if it meant that they got to pay their respects.
By the time Phoebe had shown up, the four people were sat on the couch, tears still falling silently. There was nothing to ease the hurt, their friends and family were taken and there was nothing that could bring them back.
The sky grew dark meaning this wretched day was almost over, Charles hadn’t texted Delilah all day thus bringing surprise to Delilah when she had seen that he had texted her. Don’t check the news right now. The text had said, which of course prompted the brunet to check it, she suddenly had thousands of notifications once she opened the app, after finding the culprit of all of this mayhem, a gossip organization was talking about Freddie’s death and had pictures of all of the mourners outside of the lodge when suddenly, a picture of Delilah and Charles popped up on the television.
The reporters spoke about how there were numerous sightings of the “mysterious Deacon” and further questioned where her father would be. Delilah’s heart stopped, for so long she and her father had stayed out of the limelight. Luckily, there were no pictures of her father, just ones from the 90’s. But Delilah knew how the media worked, now that someone knew something about her whereabouts, this would spiral in the frenzy of trying to figure out where not only she went burt where her father went too.
Winter, 2010
The media had stayed relatively calm, Delilah still stuck with her schedule she had created with Charles. Of course, there were still pictures but somehow Charles always ended up standing in front of her and the camera, flashing a darling smile at the paps. It confused Delilah, she didn’t understand why he felt the need to stand between her and them or that he had to give those ridiculous smiles. Delilah just kept pushing through, living life whilst attempting to get over her past.
Christmas time rolled around quicker than Delilah could’ve imagined and the inevitable question came from her boyfriend. “I think I should meet your parents.” He didn’t ask it as a question, he never did, he normally just said it and that was it. Charles’ nature almost seemed non-negotiable, Delilah was starting to feel uneasy about what kind of relationship she was in with this seemingly sweet, rugged man.
Up until Christmas came, Charles wouldn’t stop talking about how excited he was to meet the John Deacon. He no longer would ask questions about Delilah or ask her about her day, all he cared about was Queen and specifically her father’s roll in it. She didn’t really mind at first, understanding what it was like to have someone to look up to. She was so grateful that someone appreciated her father as much as she did and thus she didn’t quite mind answering a question or two about the luxuries of rockstar life.
Her relationship was going on 5 months long, yet it no longer felt like a relationship. It felt like the only person that was contributing was herself and even then it was barely. The separation didn’t help that Charles’ band was growing more popular (thanks to the paparazzi pictures finding out who he is), this made Charles much more focused on music than actually kissing his girlfriend hello. Yet, despite all of this, Delilah was still deeply in love with him, when he would kiss her, fireworks spread throughout her body. She longed for touch she didn’t allow herself to have but with Charles it was so easy to let herself go. So, he stayed.
Christmas was a quiet affair, all of her siblings were present with their S.O.’s, the warmth of the Deacon household was christened with Christmas. Delilah loved Christmas, it was always so warm and fuzzy. It also was the best because her older siblings used to sneak her eggnog that had a kick to it and her siblings actually spoke to her. Charles was a hit, her siblings and mother doting on him and making sure he was well fed.
“He seems nice.” John whispered, standing next to Delilah handing her the alcoholic drink. Delilah nodded, feeling at peace with how well having someone meet her family went. The rest of the holiday continued with presents and even Charles got a bunch of nerdy bass things from John. There was so much laughter, if only it had lasted so much longer.
A couple days later, Charles had completely ghosted Delilah. No texts, no calls, no emails, nothing. She didn’t want to seem clingy by sending him a constant stream of worried messages. Roger and Brian were kept in charge with making sure everything was okay, Deaky’s orders. Anxiety pooled in Delilah’s stomach. This went on for another week, she even went to the coffee shop he worked at only to discover that he no longer worked there. He could be dead, he could be hurt, hospitalized, anything, and Delilah was stuck not knowing what was going on.
On the eighth day of not knowing where her boyfriend was, Delilah received a text. We’re over, been seein one of the band’s fans, hope you don’t mind if i keep the bass stuff. And just like that, another rock bottom had been hit. Delilah read the message over and over again, trying to see if it was real, if it was Charles and trying to understand how everything in her life had changed within the matter of seconds, again.
The deep feeling of anguish roared into her chest, the brunet threw her phone across the room, catching the attention of Brian and Roger. This feeling she had wasn’t grief however, it was embarrassment, loneliness, heartbroken. The two men ran to her and grasped her shoulders trying everything to get her breathing to slow. The sobs were harsh, chest wrecking, her sweet, sweet Charles was gone. Someone normal and kind, who cared about her, gone. Delilah couldn’t understand what she did to deserve this life of sadness. The dark cloud that was once black over her head had started to become a lighter grey, but storms come and go, this time it seemed just as strong as the others.
All Delilah wanted was to be normal, to love and be loved. She didn’t ask for her family to be what it was, she didn’t ask for her family to be affected by this wretched disease. No, all Delilah wanted was a sense of normalcy in her shrouded world.
At some point one of the men had gotten up to get Delilah some water, Delilah didn’t know who and she didn’t care. All she could do was focus on the weight of the locket that brought a fraction of comfort. A shrill ringing overtook her ears, someone answering it, again, Delilah had no clue who was talking, her brain just running through the recent events.
The telly in front of her turned on, Roger’s hands shakily holding the remote. Images of her home, not the Lodge but her family home. Images of her dad, mother, and siblings talking and laughing. These would be normal pictures, family pictures that could’ve been kept for a keepsake. But they were in the news, a detail Delilah noticed was that it was Christmas. The only one who could’ve taken these pictures was… him. Her life, her private life not to mention her father’s life was exposed for the world to see. They had took such care of everything, keeping everything quiet and not trying to be bothered and all of that was being blown up right in front of their very own eyes.
This heartbreak was much worse, she knew she let everyone down. The Deacon family was very cautious about bringing outsiders in and Delilah broke the most important rule they had. The Deacon’s wanted a quiet and private life, but Delilah had to go and ruin everything.
Roger and Brian were trying to talk to her but still, her ears didn’t put together the functions needed for her brain to register the words. Nothing made sense, everything was going so well, but Delilah had to get close to someone like she did with Freddie, Jim, her siblings, friends from school, etc, and the end result turned catastrophic.
The tears poured out again, there was no coming back from this. Her life would be absolutely insane for a while now, paps trying to get more of her privacy that she clung to, people trying to learn more about who she was associated with. Brian’s arms held her tightly, whether that was to restrain her from doing something bad or for comfort she didn’t know. Delilah’s brain was going a million miles a second, trying to ground something.
The front door to the Lodge slammed open. “Delilah!” Her father roared, steam-rolling into where she was. The hairs on Delilah’s neck stood, her father knew how to use his words to tear someone apart piece by piece. She had heard plenty of stories and had even witnessed it once herself. Her regularly friendly father was pissed. Her mother was behind John, trying to hold him back, they both had tears streaming down their eyes, disappointment laced within them.
“How could you?” John whispered, he was so frustrated with his daughter that he couldn’t even think to notice how upset she was. “You ruined our privacy, your damn relationship and decisions ruined our lives.” He went on and on for what seemed like hours, using his words to pick apart every insecurity that she had to emphasize just how bad this whole situation was. Brian, Roger, and Delilah’s mother kept trying to get Deaky to stop but he kept going and going. By the end of the monologue, there was nothing left of Delilah’s heart. It was so broken that there were no longer pieces, it was just dust that was carried off into the wind.
For her whole life, Delilah just wanted to please her family, she just wanted to be like her Daddy or Uncle Freddie or her Mummy. Delilah wanted happiness but it seemed she would never happen again for her. There was nothing left for John to feast on it seemed. Everyone stood silently, not knowing what to say, tears were coming down in waterfalls, tears that should’ve been gone but Delilah figured with all of her sadness, they wouldn’t go away.  Roger moved to talk but John had one last thing on his mind, he looked at Delilah right in her blue eyes and spoke, not caring that they shone with tears just like they had when Freddie had died.
“I don’t want to see you anymore,” he whispered, almost too soft for her to hear. Her mom protested, saying that John was not thinking straight. “I don’t want to have any calls from you, texts, books, movies, dinners, lunches you name it, I don’t want it Delilah. You ruined our bloody lives, just like you ruined Fred’s” None of it made sense, nothing made sense. John turned on his heel and walked out, not caring about how the screams of anguish twisted his heart, not listening to Brian and Roger or his wife. He was blinded by madness so harshly that he couldn’t see that he had obliterated any kind of relationship that he had had with Delilah.
As for the brunet, she couldn’t take it anymore, she had to get out of the Lodge, not knowing where, she just knew she didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s lives like she thought she did.
tag you’re it: @ironqueen98 @bellamy1998 @missmercurythekillerqueen @philosophical-dumbass @deacydeacy @wanderlustnightwanderer
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personagf-moved · 6 years
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alphabet & soft questions ✨
I was tagged by my bb’s @prksjmiin (alphabet ask) and @joonieblossoms (soft ask) and i didn’t want to make two separate posts so im gonna apologize in advance bc i decided to stick both posts together :’) dkdkkdkd yall aint gotta read everything but if u do ily and im sorry i write novels on novels dlfksdkf
i’ll tag @koyasdad, @1ovegf, @joonlit, @sleepyyyoongs, @constellationstars and @capgi 💘
honestly feel free to do either one or both or none if u want dkkdkdkd i just wanted to tag u guys bc ily
Alphabet ask:
a // age: 21
b // birthplace: new jersey!
c // current time: 1:17 am
d // drink you had last: coffee
e // easiest person to talk to: my brother when he isnt being an absolute fool
f // favorite songs: 
aint it fun - paramore
trivia love 
honey - kehlani
abbey - mitski
moonlight - ariana grande
g // grossest memory: i was in the city one time and a bird shit on my forehead. i think about it at least twice a week 
h // horror yes or horror no:  H O R R O R   Y E S   B A B E E E Y Y Y Y Y Y Y im the absolute worst person i’ll dead ass watch a scary movie/video or read horror stories by myself just bc. 
i // in love: with my whole ass soulmate namjoon. i luv u string bean man
j // jealous of people: im not even gonna try to lie i am a very jealous person and i am so sorry about it but i really cant help it lmfao. blame my scorpio venus i guess
k // kids of your own someday: when i say i have been thinking about this everyday.........! i wanna have it all i want the kids the white picket fence the dream house everything. i cant wait to be a mommy one day and love n support my bb’s :’)
l // love at first sight or should i walk by again: we a whole ass fool on main and believe in love at first sight!!!! i really do believe soulmates are a true thing and if a love is destined to be across an infinite span of lifetimes and universes then it will always find its way back. when you know, you know, and i genuinely believe that. 
m // middle name: padilla
n // number of siblings: 1 older brother, 1 half brother (older), and 1 half sister (older)
o // one wish: to find true love
p // person you last called: my manager bc i had a work question lol
q // question you’re always asked: “why are you like this” (usually friends @ me when i wild out...which is like everyday), “are you mad?”, “how old are you REALLY?”, “how’s your brother?” (bc he ghosts all family n i have to speak on his behalf like always fsdfjksdf)
r // random fact about you: i once used a horrible bootleg copy of the force awakens to make a star wars crack video dubbing the part in shrek when he first meets donkey over the scene when rey first met bb-8 and it went viral and has like 200,000 notes and even had articles written about it. also i had a weird fascination with jar jar binks and danny devito when i was in high school and i had a habit of making either one of them my icon on school accounts so i could make people laugh when they emailed me or saw me in a word document skfkkkfkf
s // song you last sang: “abbey” by mitski :’(
t // time you woke up: exactly 10 this morning and it was weird bc i picked up my phone and it had JUST turned 10 when i looked i was so shook lol 
u // underwear colour: she be black 
v // vacation destination: paris bc im a basic bitch :’) also japan/all asian countries. i wanna connect with my roots more :/
w // worst habit: yeeting the fuck outta people’s lives when i think they’re getting too close/when i get overwhelmed. im sorry im a flighty bitch @ anyone i’ve ever ghosted :( i love anyone who’s ever tried to talk to me and its never ur fault, i just get the urge to escape sometimes and i’m trying to fix it 
x // x-rays: omg @ tori dead ass me too tho, i had x-rays when i broke my arm when i was around 6 :o
y // your favorite food: my mom’s spaghetti! and sushi. also i love any and all filipino food but specifically i like nilaga and kare-kare oooo baby
z // zodiac sign: we’re a proud libra sun 
Soft ask:
What’s the smell of your shampoo?
we got them fruity scents up in here we keep that shit smellin like a goddamn strawberry field take a fuckin whiff babes
What’s your aesthetic?
the moon and stars, soft pink and purple sunsets with a burning red on the horizon, sunrises as well, paintings and generally all art revolving around flowers and the celestial, pretty pastel pink and yellow, the sound and smell of rain falling against the window while being curled up in bed uwu 
What’s your favorite time of the day and why?
lately it’s been night time. i generally get more creative and feel more at home during the night. i miss being a morning person tho. 
What do you most like about the beach?
not a lot fklsjdjfkslkdflksdlkf i usually only go to get a tan and walk the boardwalk with my friends, but if i had it my way i would never step foot in the ocean for the rest of my life sdjdjdjdjsj we dont trust her!!!!!!!!!
What do you worry about constantly?
when i’m gonna figure out what i wanna do with my life lol. i took a year off to think about it but all i ended up doing was working myself to exhaustion and getting comfy in a work only mindset and now i’m only even more confused about what i want to pursue. i’m just glad im going to chicago next week because i feel like a change of setting for even just a week could give me a much needed reset on my mindset going into the next year. i worry about the future but the problem is i worry about the present too lol. oh well, we’ll figure it out!
What is a song you’ve cried to before?
oh boy...
trivia love
moonchild
first love
she used to be mine - waitress soundtrack
20 something - sza
26 - paramore
the letter - kehlani
landslide - fleetwood mac
when you see my friends - mayday parade
and many........many many more...... skskskks music is my main emotional outlet so naturally im gonna cry over anything that reflects my heart
What are some relaxing tips for your followers?
as The World’s Number One Most Stressed Out Human Being™️ i am definitely in no way fit to give advice on how to relax LMFAO 
but i guess something that always works for me is putting on music i KNOW will make me sing a long or make me happy to distract me from the nerves i’m feeling. also putting on my favorite comfort movies to make me feel better (they’re big fish, scott pilgrim vs the world, and spirited away btw lol)
 What are some things that make you tear up?
the ending of coco, seeing my mom cry, or anyone i love cry tbh, when children are neglected/abused, thinking about the world i’ll have to bring my future children into and how i’m going to be able to teach them to stay strong and bright in the face of it, lyrics that hit too close to home, absolutely anything tbh i cry easy
What is your favorite from each sense?
sight - the view of my cherry blossom tree against a pink sunset in the spring of my childhood home, a person’s eyes and how they light up when they smile, especially when they crinkle as they laugh
smell - the earth after rain, a forest in autumn
taste - my mom’s cooking, good coffee on an early morning
sound - beautiful melodies and harmonies to accompany them, a baby cooing, birds chirping at sunrise
touch - my pillow when its nice and cool, a cat’s tummy, a baby’s cheeks, fingers running through my hair
What is an alternative reality you’d like to live in?
one where im married to namjoon n we have a lot of smart musical prodigy babies who have his dopey smile and i live comfortably in our big ass home in korea where i raise our babies n get that good pipe down every night like i should
jk i wanna live in a reality where magic is real and i can cast spells and live my best life as the true witch that i am
What are some troubles you face on a daily basis?
for starters im ugly as shit so theres one
if we mean practically then i have really bad knees and i recently busted them again so its been really hard getting up and down stairs lately and bending over 
but idk theres not really much. emotionally i just tend to get withdrawn and timid in public so it can be hard for me to speak up when i go out
What is one scene from a book that makes you really sad?
unfortunately i haven’t read as many books lately as i did when i was younger...so a lot of my memories are from books that i read like as a kid lol......THAT BEING SAID i think rue and finnick’s death in the hunger games was truly heartbreaking to read, the spine of my copies of both books have cracks on those pages bc i had to read it several times just to really believe it. also i thought it was written so heart wrenchingly well that i had to go back.  also in looking for alaska when pudge, a man who loved to know people’s last words, realized that he would never know alaska’s last words. im also really thankful for that book bc it introduced me to wh auden’s poetry and to this day he’s still one of my favorite poets of all time.  
Say something to your followers:
thank you thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU for following me and for some reason deciding to stay after how many times i act up on the daily. all jokes aside i really appreciate every single one of you no matter the number and i sincerely hope that you always have love and joy in your heart and that 2019 treats you well. i HONESTLY mean it when i say that i am always here if you guys want to talk or send me things or roast me or talk shit seriously i wanna hear it all and talk about it all i think all of you are so interesting and so beautiful and i’d love to get to know more about you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS! yeet!
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haeroniel-doliet · 2 years
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a bonus thought post for the night!!
on that nostalgia raising feelings train but it derails so it got long so its under a readmore :*
scrolling my old art made me a bit sad and nostalgic (who doesnt get those feelings though doing the same) specifically i really have my heart going out to kid me who got basically no notes on anything. (im not saying i shouldve, art was definitely kid art and questionably tagged etc!) but some i put effort into and it made me so happy to get those 10 likes or whatever. it made me post post and post even what i was working on and unfinished bits (Sure, being me? many of those never got finished bc posting gave the hit of reward chemicals, no response meant no motivation to finish to get more yknow?)
its weird thinking ive now as an adult got a handful of posts with -hundreds- of notes. one over a thousand!! (sure, the really good and popular artists may have thousands but hey they deserve it!!) its weird that i sort of maybe now know what to do to get a reaction out of my prefered niche of the internet. that if i tried w some more consistently, who knows?
im proud of everything in my current art tag. (mostly. no. i am proud shut up brain) i feel slightly like posting more wips. bc i have a ton. surprisingly? ive been drawing way more in the past year than ive been posting (new for me). of course, there is no obligation to post it. why post stuff im not happy with? only to get anxious abt it? sure posting that one teaser when i was actively working on making it better was kinda fun. sure maybe posting some wips would make me go back and finish them bc some of them are good ideas?? but also some are just. theyd make sense to nobody but myself. and why should i share every crevice of my creativity like i used to as an attention craving kid?
my blog is my blog its me, its not a nice art blog its got all my vents and whatever i like to reblog on a given day on it all together. i could make a new tag that feels less like a portfolio to post wips i abandoned or doodles that never went further. it might be nice having them out here. but somehow i feel like id be too embarassed to post them, for my few followers to actually see them. what if i actually tagged them and ppl in tags saw my nonsense doodles? is it worth it? right now my art tag feels like its: dinluke and finished at that ONLY. things that people who come on my blog would like to see perhaps...
hahahhahahha i just crashed my Krita trying to with brash abandon look at all the unposted wips i have at once
turns out i have like. a handful of original works that never got past a rough doodle stage which is fair yknow they were just ideas that could be fleshed out but dont need to. some of them are very personal vent art
ive got a few sketch to tiny doodle to questionable attempt at painting etc bits of the star wars ladies. reminds me that i should branch out in my star wars posting and that drawing women is just way easier and more natural to me why dont i do it more?
ive got a good few fic inspired sketches that never got legs and tbf? theyre olddd now.
ive got like 12 frames of the inktober challenge from last year... in the style of posting 5 at a time, theyve all been sketched out and like half are i think finished. obviously october went long and at some point it just felt weird to post them even if i finished them. i sort of decided if i finish them up early autumn i could get away w posting them for beginning of october while i had a try at the new inktober? idk why i like a challenge to force me to draw more than i do in a year. and then it takes me a year lol. i have a set of 5 that are all inspired by fic, and like. i still like the idea of them. unfortunately? some of the references were old..  A YEAR AGO. sure theres like, the appreciation for vintage and telling ppl we like their work ages on. but i worry the authors no longer are in the fandom or want to be reminded of their work? etc etc. some of them are meh, some i like.
ngl i am especailly happy w my oct 31 post, which i really wish id finished on time for last year. heres to seeing if i post it this year? maybe i’ll finish what i want to finish of them (theres like. 2 im just really not inspired for and never was) and then have a wee collage of them to post, w the oct 31 prompt seperate, as a sort of. hey wip clear out! these are the stragglers from last year :))
maybe ill post original art one day when i get drawn enough to finish one.
ok ok hi welcome indepth to my thought process, bonus thoughts for every thought included. this doesnt need to be on the internet SURE but its a small time capsule for myself ok?
i dont think right now making a doodle tag to post wips is gonna bring me anything but anxiety and feelings of inadequacy i know too well from posting art as a teen. maybe at some point itll help break the barrier and ill just. post shit but it doesnt have to be on my ““portfolio tag”“
i could pick up an wip to finish now, ive got a good few candidates. but i think i should best just, shake off the cobwebs on smth new so i dont feel like im ruining it. it might be a rey or a leia or other star wars heroine portrait. it might be grogu bc hes an already ugly gremlin. it might be something else. i might be talking a high load of shit bc its 3 am again and i should go sleep rather than push myself in delirium. odds are tomorrow im exhausted again, feel like i should do things that actually benefit me in my life and address responsibilites, and shut down under the weight of the thought of it and not do anything until i go crazy at night again? time will tell but rn im stuck in that loop.
perhaps i should never have posted this bc its very long and personal but also? i kinda doubt anyone will read it and thats ok :)) if you are here, hi sorry that you know me better now! uhhh thoughts on the above?
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