#wandee goodday meta

[heretherebedork]

I think part of the beauty of this episode is that Dee had been building up his first kiss into this huge thing for him and all about love and of this huge importance but the he went and he kissed Yak and it didn't solve anything. It didn't magically make them better or happier or fix their relationship or anything. It was a kiss, a good kiss, it was long overdue and it did nothing for them.

Dee is clinging to romantic ideals, to the idea of romance, rather then the actual act of it. He wants this to be like he always dreamed, to be simple and straight forward, to not need anything but a kiss and a confession.

But love is not that simple. Not real love. Because real love is real people and real complexities and real pain.

That's why it works. Because Yak lost the fight and now Dee gave him his first kiss but in the end it won't solve or change anything because it doesn't matter, not really, not if Dee doesn't back it up with words and actions.

Dee had built up so much for this kiss and so hard the audience through both of them and their desire but in the end a kiss is just a kiss. It can be an expression of emotion and love but it's also just a kiss.

And a kiss doesn't solve anything.

[doublel27]

This is the moment that broke me this episode.

Because the line he crossed isn’t the boundaries they’ve already been screwing with. The line is the fact that he’s told Kao and Grandma he’s going to protect his heart. That he isn’t going to develop real feelings for Yoryak.

But this moment, watching Yoryak sleep with the most tender look on Dee’s face while the room is bathed in the softest pink light. As @respectthepetty will tell you, pink = love.

And this is when he chooses to walk into the living room, filled with the pink light of love, toward Yoryak. If not ready to admit it out loud, this is the moment that Wandee chooses Yoryak and his feelings for him and moves towards love.

He goes and just sits and watches Yoryak sleep with such affection

And then after the sweetest conversation about being unused to sleeping without Dee in his arms, the room flooded with pink and purple, Dee settles in as happy as ever.

And so is Yak.

Look at this man’s face. He’s so happy.

But then he seems to realize it. And we get this face.

And I think about last week and him insisting to Cher that he’s not so fickle to change his affections so quickly. And about how Wandee has been clear he likes to win and set up this fake dating scenario for a scholarship. So Yoryak does the thing that broke both me and Dee and asks about Taem…

Look how happy and content and at peace Dee is here…as he’s getting stabbed in the chest.

And then the pink and purple dials down a little as Dee’s hand slips away along with his happiness and security. But the pink is still there around his eyes. Because he’s still in love with Yoryak and he chose it.

And he says “Of course..”

Because Dee fell in love with Yoryak exactly how he is with neither of them trying. So how could Taem not also fall madly in love with an actively engaged in flirting Yoryak?

[pandasmagorica]

GMMTV has a new QL trope and I am not a happy camper

With the last few series I've watched or partly watched on GMMTV, it would seem there is a new trope. I'm not certain it's a new trope, but I searched @absolutebl for trope posts for at least half an hour and didn't find it, so I don't think I'm totally off about this.

I'm calling it emotional punching bag. Instead of seme/uke representing chaser/chased, it represents emotional aggressor/victim.

The general pattern is this:

Character A gets angry at character B over a real or imagined slight.

A claims to be the victim.

A is unaware (or pretends to be) of any contribution A made to this issue.

B apologizes, whether or not B contributed to the problem.

A never apologizes and never acknowledges their part in the problem.

The problem gets papered over (if they get back together) or never gets resolved (if they don't).

I think it started with Only Friends. Boston (B) gets set up by Atom (A) and is made to be the villian. The truth is revealed. Boston apologizes for his other behavior in the series but nobody apologizes to Boston for him having been set up. Never gets resolved.

Then there's Last Twilight. Mork (B) tries to engage in self-care and Day (A) makes it all about Day and breaks up with Mork. The problem gets papered over when, plot hole, Day wanders through a hotel lobby without the cane he got so he could be more independent and which we never see again, and Mork steps in and helps him, and then they get together and Day gets his eyesight back at the same time with no real narrative resolution. Mork gets back together with Day.

And now we have 23.5. Sun (A) outs Ongsa (B) to Ongsa's parents. Ongsa objects. Sun storms off. Ongsa seeks out Sun and apologizes. Sun breaks up with Ongsa. Ongsa again seeks out Sun and apologizes.

At this point (partway through episode 11, segment 2) I paused the series. I have not intention of going back unless I get word from you Tumblerites that Sun acknowledges her role in all the trouble and apologizes to Ongsa. If they get back together without Sun doing the emotional and reparation work I want no part of it.

And I'm worried. Do I need to wait and binge the rest of Wandee Goodday, which I, as of two episodes, absolutely adore? And this is a boxing series. Is Wandee going to become a literal punching bag?

Do I need to never watch another GMMTV QL series week by week again? Do I have to wait for an all-clear and then binge?

GMMTV, please get your ending act together, I beg of you.

[waitmyturtles]

Wandee Goodday: I'm caught up and I love this show and here are my thoughts AND! (aka, In Which I Partly Ruminate On Golf Tanwarin's Thematic Overlaps Between Wandee Goodday and The Eclipse)

(Thanks to the homegirls @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm for catching me up on @bengiyo's wonderful meta round-up here!)

Through @bengiyo's round-up linked above, I *think* I'm caught up on what was going around the Wandee Goodday fandom last week; I myself, because of LIFE. EVENTS. fell behind two episodes, and only caught up with this generally fabulous show last night, and I wanna bust a couple words on it.

I surprised myself a couple weeks ago by having a touch of Wandee brainrot at week TWO, which is generally absurd, but I'm still stuck on the theme of medical observation and how that theme has permeated this show so far. More on this in a second.

Out of transparency, I also want to note that I'm coming off a close rewatch of Golf Tanwarin's The Eclipse for my Old GMMTV Challenge project, and not just because of LIFE. EVENTS., but also because of some deep thoughtfulness that has surprised and delayed me in my review of The Eclipse, I can't help but recognize that there's some thematic overlap between The Eclipse and Wandee that Golf's getting into -- a coincidence that I'm absolutely loving and screaming internally over.

(As an aside, I've been working forever on my Eclipse piece because I'm struggling with the meaning of having a huge debut branded ship in FirstKhao helming that show, and what that meant for GMMTV in 2022 and its BL future. I'm not feeling that same branded ship pressure here in Wandee, especially as Inn Sarin and Great Sapol were both separately established actors who joined GMMTV for this project, and the future of this ship is unknown at the moment. That's a part of the reason why I love Wandee -- I don't feel fandom pressure about the ship, per se, at this moment, but I might be missing hype on the tag.)

While the stories between The Eclipse and Wandee are clearly different -- the ways in which Golf offers commentary about internal and external homophobia, ESPECIALLY vis à vis macro-level interactions of micro-level humans in systems like boarding schools and hospitals/medical systems, is deeply thrilling for me. I admire Golf as a former politician, Thailand's first transgender member of parliament who was unceremoniously kicked out for economic concerns (and likely their affiliation with the Future Forward/Move Forward parties). As someone who's been around the way with smart politicians, I'm not surprised that this is a space in which Golf lives -- the space in which they explore how homophobia is expressed at macrosystemic and micro-emotional levels.

In The Eclipse, Golf explores:

social pressures to conform to hetero-social standards

the internal destruction that those pressures cause to individuals

how that internal destruction impacts the ways in which young high-school men interact with each other, and develop social and/or romantic bonds, and

how that internal destruction also impacts general social group dynamics, and how individuals police themselves and each other into conforming to the hetero-social standards dictated by the environment around them.

There are many, many issues with The Eclipse, but generally speaking, Golf weaves between the internal and external, the micro and the macro, in that show, cyclically, to depict very messed-up young men fumbling through their experiences of social conformity and love.

As I've been writing my Eclipse piece for my OGMMTVC, I have referred often to @bengiyo's FABULOUS post from the Our Skyy 2 x The Eclipse days, about how some of The Eclipse fandom was concerned for the stability of AkkAyan vis à vis their romance in OS2. As Ben writes, these fictional boys were messed TF up. It was natural, in OS2, to witness their continued fumbles as they still confirmed their love for each other. The conflation for "real" affection between First and Khao aside, this demand for clean-cut romance dominated the fandom discourse at the time of OS2, and it wasn't aligned with what I think Golf's messaging about the emotional states of the boys actually were.

We're certainly NOT THERE (YET) in Wandee Goodday by way of romance. We're squarely in the midst of Wandee's, Yak's, and Ter's very clear emotional and competitive fumbles. We're only at episode 4, and what we've gotten is just a tremendous amount of information about the internal and external struggles these very messed-up dudes have (and to confirm here, we know Ter is Satan/Dr. 666 Devil, we are literally told that, and I'm so thrilled for Podd to finally get the role he deserves, amirite @lurkingshan).

We are seeing similar social conformity pressures from The Eclipse to Wandee by way of the hospital setting -- long a globally misogynistic and highly pressurized environment that humans have played destructively in. Ter being an absolute ROACH with Dee's feelings is so apropos. (Oh, and Ter clearly not being committed to Kwan? That girl's gonna go AWF, I swear.)

We're seeing the same pressure by way of boxer Yak going public with his bisexuality, and taking an ENORRRRRMOUS risk in faking a relationship with Wandee, in front of titchy hospital staff who will likely narc Yak out to the media.

[I think this is a slip of the show, by the way. I don't think Yak is dumb enough to not recognize this risk despite his empathy to Dee, and I really wish the show would spend more time on the risks that Yak takes in showing public affection to Dee at the hospital. I think the show can actually take some time to explore the risk that Yak is taking, because it would simply illuminate the continued themes of homophobia and its ever-presence in the sports AND medical settings that Golf is exploring. (And separately, the meaning of having Yei and Cher helm the boxing gym means so much to me -- literally as a sports fan!)]

@bengiyo's meta round-up also nicely covers the meta out there about Dee and his very conflicted and hypocritical behavior. It's no duh that Dee only has one friend. The guy is a fucking ant. A very cute and sympathetic ant! But he's cute (and hawt), sympathetic, an ant, AND a jerk, someone who is driven to "win," both against Ter and Yak. Dee might be an ant BECAUSE of the impact of what was likely an intense and complicated medical education, as many a former medical resident around the world may relate to! That's a macro-level systemic reference that I wouldn't be surprised Golf would be making intentionally.

Both Wandee and Yak could and should be more accountable to themselves and to each other vis à vis their feelings and the very complicated pressures they both operate under.

They haven't gotten there in their intimacy yet because -- like Akk, Ayan, Kan, and Thua, they're fucking messed-up dudes dealing with homophobia at internal and external emotional levels due to the pressures of their homophobic macrosystemic environments in which they operate!

The social conformity pressures of the worlds in which Dee and Yak live are messing them up so fucking much that they're both acting like bumbling dillholes.

Is it DELIGHTFUL TO WATCH? OMG, YES! I'm obsessed! I LOVE THEM, YER HONOR.

I LOVE WATCHING COMPLICATED HUMAN BEINGS BE COMPLICATED. THIS SHIT IS COMPLICATED!!!!!

Fucking Dee stringing Yak along? YAK GOING ALONG WITH IT? Kickass Taem sees the necklace around Dee's clavicle and KNOWS what Yak's heart is actually doing/saying. Yak may even be "making up" this whole Situation with Taem to jealously win Dee over, maybe?, but we also know Yak actually is attracted to Taem, and so, fuck, THAT'S MESSY AND COMPLICATED, and also, oh so real! Fuck Dee, man! We've ALL BEEN STRUNG ALONG, hello song break, Dee, get it together, you jackass m'fer:

In other words, ha! People act like jerks when their micro- and macro-levels, their internals and externals, are out of sync and whack, and they don't have the emotional toolboxes to deal with it. There is so much mess-mess-MESSY-mess-mess, escalandos, poopy-woopy-shit all over the place in this show, and at least for right now, it's just delightful to watch it happen and unwind (as opposed to The Eclipse, when Akk's repeated stalking of Ayan just got a little tired after episodes 4 and 5, it was like, dude, Akk, if you're saying you don't like him, just stay the fuck away, on GOD. ANYWAY).

Who has the emotional tools to deal with this complicated-ness? Dr. Kao, Drakey-poo, Drizzy!

Dr. Kao, our OBSERVATIONAL asexual BFFFFFFFF, is shown, literally, helping dyads through their issues. He's addressing binaries on binaries -- a couple coming at sex from two different perspectives, and creating compromise between them.

I love, love, love this inclusion of this observational commentary. Kao is depicted at creating communication and compromise against a topic (sex) that he himself has a complicated relationship with. He is shown, professionally, keeping his shit out of the needs of his patients in order to help them with their medical goals.

Kao is practicing, in essence, a transcendence of sorts -- transcending his micro-personal issues with sex in his practice to help his patients achieve at least happiness, if not at least compromise and satisfaction, in their lives.

I appreciated seeing that the client couple in the show wasn't necessarily trying to "win" against each other. They just had different issues about sex that they were working on -- TOGETHER.

The competitive triad of Dee, Yak, and Ter is certainly not there yet. 666 Devil Ter will likely shake up any delicate balance that Dee and Yak MIGHT achieve. But Dee and Yak, a hopeful binary dyad that we are cheering for, are caught in all of their personal and professional competitions themselves, and are nowhere near transcendence at this moment.

The mess, right now, is making sense, within the script. Things can certainly go awry via the script, as my elder friend @bengiyo has warned me regarding Thai BLs these days. But as of right now, I'm finding this mess delightful, because it's VERY real, to me, against a standard of people acting like bumbling, intentional, and unintentional assholes, and living in worlds of emotional complications that are very difficult, in real life, to unwind from by way of macro-social pressures -- except with time, grace, patience, and eventual maturity.

[sailorbryant]

Here's my theory.

I think Ter is sex-repulsed ace, and fucked up about it.

I didn't think that before this episode, I just thought he was a dick. But the whole thing in Japan where he got so fucking drunk he passed out before he could even make a move on Dee.

What if that was him trying to get up the courage to go through with sex anyway, because that what he thinks he needs to do?

I still can't figure out if his motivation is, "I actually realized I was in love with him all along so I'll make myself have sex to keep him," or he's just an absolute asshole who "I'll do what I gotta do to get him to drop that scholarship" idk.

But, thematically, it's such a gooooood comparison with Kao. Who knows who he is, what he wants, and doesn't mess around. To Ter who is so fucked up he comes off as the biggest asshole/creep/POS the world has ever seen.

[incandescentflower]

I want Wandee Goodday to be about mental health.

I've been thinking about Dee mentioning Yak's nightmares and possibly seeking help. I'm not really into Dee trying to force him with an agreement. That kind of stuff doesn't work - mental health treatment is something people choose for themselves. But lots of people take convincing. And we've already seen Dee use leverage to get Yak to take care of himself, so not so surprising that's how they brought it up.

But the conversation finally started to broach what has been missing for me - the story of their mutual losses at young ages and how that can very much impact their fundamental remaining relationships. That kind of loss can be so transformative in how a person relates in significant relationships. It can impact attachment to others, create a pathological fear of loss, increase the level of guilt people carry in their life and even impact their developmental mind set - many people get kind of stuck at certain developmental milestones if they experience trauma at young ages.

(I am saying this as someone who has been trained in cognitive-behavioral trauma therapy as a therapist, but it was quite a while ago and I'm by no means an expert. This is just generalizing. And it definitely doesn't happen to everyone. It just feels like the show might want us to think it is happening for both Dee and Yak.)

The show seems to use these facts about them as short hand for some of their behaviors and choices without doing the work to make it clear and I wish they would delve into them more. I'm worried they are not doing so for drama sake later, but that remains to be seen. It also could be that they are punching above their weight when it comes to their understanding of these issues (yes, pun intended).

This is the first time they are implying that Yak's trauma about his mother's death actually bleeds into other aspects of his life. But that connection is not clearly made. I would have found it interesting if they spent the time to draw a vivid line between Yak's loss of his mother and his fear of loss of Wandee. (as an aside, I would say that would also have helped if they solidified Yak's feelings for Dee earlier so we truly understand the intensity of them. the lack of Yak pov makes it hard to know if his feelings are strong enough to instigate this reaction)

It's also hard to draw this conclusion because Yak is the one who is more willing to react by throwing it away - his fear response seems to be to run. It looks like a "time to get out before I care too much" action with him not acknowledging he already has those feelings. And so then after he breaks it off he feels this intensity of the loss in the form of his jealous feelings about Ter - who is taking Dee away.

He seems to carry a lot of guilt about *something* having to do with his mom's death and equates disappointing Dee with disappointing his mother. But without those details, it leaves us to guess. It isn't clear that Yak is melting down here not just from losing Dee, but over triggering those feelings of loss over his mom again, and possibly the expectation that he will lose everyone.

But that would be the most compelling reason to me.

I think the same actually goes for Dee and his reactions to relationships. We've seen Dee have two trauma flashbacks without any explanation, but it's safe to assume he has his own baggage to deal with. Still, the show is unclear how much it impacts Dee's behavior. Since he has Plakao, a psychiatrist, as his friend it implies that if Dee was truly deeply struggling emotionally, we'd see Kao telling him ad nauseum to go to therapy, not telling him to just take the leap and confess to Yak.

Without Kao saying "Dee, this is more than just indecision"- it seems like the show is saying it isn't a behavior that needs professional help. But if you take it out of the way it is often played for humor, it sure seems like it to me.

If I had a friend who seemed to be struggling so hard with having feelings for someone and had so much fear of those feelings that it was making them a little miserable, and on top of that seemed to not be able to set firm boundaries with someone who had hurt them immensely, so much so that not letting go of that person was more important than how they treated them, you bet I'd think they should be talking to someone.

Kao is being played as the voice of reason, but he is very static right now. He's just kinda being the audience stand-in to say GAAAHHH stoppppp. But if I'd had the same conversation with a friend this many times, I'd start to ask - hey, why are you always doing this? why are you always making things complicated?? how is that serving you when you say it isn't?? That is the crux of therapy. Figuring that shit out. It feels like the show wants the character motivation without having to delve into it too seriously.

When Dee says to Yak maybe you should get some help - perhaps he should be putting on the oxygen mask first before he attempts to help anyone else.

And honestly, their mutual trauma being the reason they are having such a fucking hard time working this out would be so, so interesting to me.

I'm just not certain that is what the show wants us to think.

[bengiyo]

Wandee Goodday: They're Letting Men 69 Now

The third episode of Wandee Goodday opens with the leads engaged in mutual fellatio (commonly known as a 69), and I wanted to comment on how well I liked it being used here. I asked yesterday how many other instances we had of the position in prior shows, and got confirmation from @respectthepetty and @pharawee and others that as best we can recall right now only Destiny Seeker has shown or implied the position before. Because we are hundreds of shows deep into BL at this point, I wanted to follow up on my post about Patts Wanting to Blow Saengtai and talk about this scene a bit.

One of the things I generally have to just ignore in BL is the alarming lack of lubricant usage in the genre even more than the lack of condom usage. BL boys must have self-lubricating organs with the way this genre behaves around it. It also doesn’t match the expected velocity of m/m physical intimacy that I’m used to in my own experience and the stories told by my homies. In fairness, in the couple dozen m/m romance novels I’ve read, I can only recall one 69 scene (shoutout to Ginn Hale for Lord of the White Hell, Book 1) In my experience, guys are way more likely to touch each other’s dicks before they kiss each other (something else Wandee Goodday is doing that I like).

What makes this scene standout to me is that we ended the previous episode with the guys establishing the rules of their relationship, and Wandee telling Yoryak he wanted him to pay more attention to his dick during sex. I really love coming back to them literally giving each other head, having a good time doing it, and teasing each other about it. It’s important to me that gay sex in shows about gay characters look like it’s fun for the characters and not just as a completion of a big romantic moment. It’s also very cool that this show continues to tease and show the various ways men can have a good time with each other without all the effort that goes into preparing for anal sex.

However, I will tease about the propriety rules and the usage of a blanket for modesty purposes. I completely accept this compromise for the safety of the actors and broadcast rules, but I know that I am not hotboxing myself when I’m trying to focus.

That’s all I wanted to say. I’d love for the folks who saw Destiny Seeker to chime in again about the work that show did on the presentation of m/m intimacy in BL in light of the Wandee Goodday scene. Guys should suck dick more often in BL as a sufficient enough act for spontaneous sex without implying that somehow raw, unlubricated anal works in a bathroom.

[vegasandhishedgehog]

Okay here I come with thoughts that I'm not sure many people will be on board with, but I'm gonna share anyway because who cares! Wandee Goodday is doing a fantastic job selling characters who are ridiulous, and many of them are charming. I'm gonna talk about the guy who isn't. Charming that is.

I Think Ter Is In The Closet

And I'm only using bits from episode 4 to demonstrate this. Sorry if you need more to be convinced.

Ter is a strange character because we meet him through Wandee, when he's still up on a pedestal. That image almost immediately gets crumpled and tossed into oncoming traffic to be flattened in a rubbery, Bangkok traffic death. Dee confesses his feelings and Ter insists he's straight. He's straight. He's straight! He likes women, not men. Sorry. To make matters worse, he pulls the asshole move of just asking Dee to leave the scholarship to him.

These men have known each other for eight years. Eight fucking years and this is where things are going? If we know how much of a disaster Dee is, then it really makes me wonder what disaster side of himself Ter has (aside from what we know).

(thinking them gaaayyy thoughts) (also this weirdo doesn't listen to music while working out? no wonder he's the devil)

Ter is recalling the moment when Yak came into the hospital with flowers for Dee, called him tee-rak, and the two of them are looking at each other like. Like That.

Super normal for a hetero dude to focus on that part of his long-term colleague's life. And if he were a huge homophobe, I could understand it being a possible upset, but then he wouldn't be so close to Dee if that were the case. This is Golf Tanwarin we're being led by here.

Our Devil Doctor is pulled out of his train of thought by the appearance of a shirtless Plakao

Guys, I won't lie to you, I yelled NO aloud because for a second I thought he was going to have his come to Jesus with our favorite asexual king, and as an asexual who worships Plakao and how amazing he is, I just wasn't gonna have it!

And the first thing Ter notices? Kao is alone - specifically, he isn't accompanied as usual by his bestie Wandee. So Ter immediately interrupts his workout to question him. Kao responds that Dee's with his boyfriend now, which prompts more questioning about their relationship from Ter.

Yeah, Ter. What's it matter to you?

You turned Wandee away because you're straight. So, obviously that's a no, right? Right?

Not addressing that then. Okay. We'll just hit the skip button for that dialogue option, I guess.

As a tenured colleague and friend, that would be the natural reaction to this. Kao is a wise, wise man, and like many an asexual, he has done the work of figuring himself out while living in an allonormative world (while also recognizing he likes men! I cannot stress enough how beautifully nuanced his okay). From what he understands (and is stating for Ter to ponder), is that this would make sense for someone who doesn't harbor any other kinds of feelings toward Dee and until recently, has been on good terms with him.

But Ter doesn't get to ponder because he gets called away and immediately forced to face Dee happily walking hand in hand with Yak. It's awkward. Dee excuses himself and Yak. And then Ter's eyes foooolloooww.....

And later he gets back to his room with the number of the beast and fondly recalls when Dee used to leave snacks on his door....

(crowd goes awww)

But this guy can't help but notice while he's doing an evening workout -

Hey! There are Dee and Yak again! Being all cute in the pool! It's too coincidental! (He had not considered that his colleague works at the same place and has a similar schedule, therefore all this appropriately timed boyfriendism could only happen within that schedule)

So he has to conclude that it isn't real.

Little does Ter know that it was originally intended for YakDee to be fake boyfriends; that he'd stumbled upon the truth immediately. What he wasn't expecting was for Dee to double down not only to not be caught plotting like that, but because he's way further into his feelings for Yak than he is fully aware of.

I cannot stress how interesting it is so see this man be so obsessed over their relationship. Anyone who would call themselves a close friend or colleague would simply be happy for Dee, maybe warn him about some people who are less accepting if that were an issue, and then continue focusing on whatever it is he's doing for the scholarship. And maybe he does focus on the scholarship - we aren't shown his side of it because it's not important - but if that's true and his secondary focus is theorizing that Dee's relationship is fake? TER? WORSTIE?????

And then this happens!

Now I've seen a lot of people taking this as manipulation and I'm not going to call them wrong. It is exactly that. But I think he's also seeing if maybe he missed a chance? It wasn't that long ago that Dee was reminiscing about the past eight years together and Ter had decided the scholarship was more important than pursuing whatever thing they had between each other. Ter is realizing he doesn't want to throw either of them away, but still has his heart with the money. So he improvises a lame little plea, it's badly executed, and we get sad eyes watching Dee leave.

I would've expected him to curse under his breath, or have some sort of small scale tantrum after that interaction if he was fully planning to manipulate Dee like that. His melancholy here is what has me thinking that it wasn't well thought out, and there's a part of him who cares about his relationship with Dee and wishes it could carry on as it used to.

Ter continues to obsess. We know he'd immediately seen the story Dee posted, and it seems he's returning to it again (knowing social media habits, he's likely checked it several times in between).

CAUGHT.

Kwan, in contrast to Ter, is also Dee's colleague. She finds him and his boxer boyfriend just charming!

This line kills the entire conversation. There's very obvious tension about this subject.

To me this is where Ter has kinda said the quiet part out loud. He's more concerned about his own image. To whom? His family? His patients? Future opportunities? To himself? Not that there's nothing for Dee to be worried about (this is in Thailand where gay marriage is not legal yet, after all), but he has had a good reception of being publicly queer so far. Is that due to his queerness being more pronounced? Has Ter ridden for most of his life on being able to pass as straight because he was afraid of the consequences?

I'm gonna take a hard left for a moment, and then redirect.

There's a scene in the film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar where a sheriff (who has had an altercation with a drag queen and is looking for her for severely homophobic reasons) sits in a saloon and essentially narrates gay erotica aloud like he's trying to process the concept of homosexuality. He's disturbed about the idea. The people around him are also disturbed by his imaginings. It almost gives the sense that his thoughts come from desire, but he's been taught too much hate about that desire to recognize it.

And this is the moment where I just felt sorry for Ter. It seems like he maybe has some deep-seated denial, and it's being overturned by everything Dee is doing. It doesn't excuse him, but shit's gotta suck. And it's clear his disturbance with the idea of Dee having gotten over any feelings for him will be hard to reckon with on top of deciding how he feels about Dee himself. P'Golf does their antagonistic and confused gays well.

[twig-tea]

Things from Wandee Goodday ep 3 I can't stop thinking about:

I love so much that we got some good friends with benefits tension around personal boundaries when Dee asked who Yei was and then backed off (but Yak told him anyway). And between the jokes about rimming, Dee demanding Yak pay more attention to his dick last episode, and starting this episode in the 69 position, I am very, very here for this show saying over and over that sex is not just one act.

[ID: Gif of the beginning of episode 3, whichi is a pan-to-shot of Dee and Yak laying in 69 position on the floor under blankets]

i loved the different responses to hearing someone you love is in a "Friends with Benefits" situation; Kao warned Dee not to catch feelings or read too much into the situation and Cher/Yei teased Yak for lying to himself about what the situation is. Both are super valid and speak to who Dee and Yak are, who Kao and Cher/Yei are, and all of their experiences with love. And it speaks to the closeness of these relationships too, that Cher noticed Yak's necklace gone immediately and Kao similarly clocked its addition on Dee instantly.

Super here for Kao being the ultimate support bestie at work, equal parts haranguing and backing Dee up. Their relationship is perfection.

I really liked Yak peace-ing out of their agreement when Dee dropped a huge request with no context, that was so valid and in the spirit of FWB (he didn't actually owe him a bigger conversation).

I've already reblogged a couple of other people (@negrowhat and @lurkingshan) talking about this so I won't belabour it, but I am judging Dee for not only ignoring Yak's boundaries by going to his workplace and forcing him to train him and then flirting with him during training sessions after Yak both made clear he's worried about being out at work and had ended their agreement. I hope we get more of an explanation for Yak's reticence about dating a man while aiming for the championship as well as his change of mind.

The conversations with Cher and Oyei have me so curious about their history! Tell me everything, show. I put these questions in tags on a gifset (but to put them on main: Where is Oyei and Yak's father (who is also a former champ but apparently uninvolved with this family business, if he's still alive)? What happened to Yak's mother that he doesn't know if he takes after her? Why can they go to Cher's family for financial help but not Yei/Yak's (to the point where they had to take out what sounds like a predatory loan during COVID)? What is Cher afraid of re: being seen being affectionate to Oyei, and where does that come from? Is this history related to why Yak is so worried about his relationship to Dee getting in the way of his championship? All of this is seeded so organically and I'm so, so curious. It also has me even more in my feelings about Cher and Yei calling Yak their son.

[ID: Gif of Yei saying to Cher: I own this place. What's there to be afraid of? From the set linked in the paragraph above]

[I have a clown theory that Cher and Oyei's relationship is why his dad is out of the picture and his gym is in financial trouble (because it prevented Yei from getting sponsorship despite being a champion), and why Yak is worried about being in a relationship with a man even though he knows his brother won't care...we'll see how much of this the show pulls together!]

The flash of trauma from Dee at the crosswalk was interesting too; where is that going? What happened in Dee's past and how is it going to affect the story in future?

[More clown speculation: Is it related to why Dee is so good with patients and passionate about ortho? Has he seen someone in his life become disabled due to physical injury?]

Speaking of, I really loved seeing Dee be good at his job and great with patients and their families. In addition to it being just nice to see and good for our understanding of his character, it sets him up to have a fighting chance in the contest too, since patients apparently get a vote.

I love love love the camaraderie and giggling between Dee and Yak around making Ter jealous and shoving their fake relationship in those gossiping nurses' faces. The way they are actually friends who like one another and enjoy spending time together is just really wonderful to watch.

My biggest question is: Will Dee get a chance in this narrative to show up for Yak the way Yak has been showing up for Dee? And how can that current imbalance be reconciled with this all leading towards Dee trying to get a placement to go abroad--and his self-stated toxic trait of always needing to win? [shoutout to @chicademartinica for laying that out succinctly in her post]

In the meantime, I'm having a blast.

[fallsouthwinter]

I definitely do not think Oyei is cheating. After four episodes of watching Oyei barely manage (and fail spectacularly at) keeping his hands to himself around Cher, I was just as confused as him when Cher asked if Oyei had someone else.

I also hope the show doesn't trend in that direction because a) do NOT give us an adorable established couple then ruin it with a cheating plotline, b) it wouldn't make sense given the cutesy ridiculous vibe that scene had, and c) we've been given a small plot point in an earlier episode about the gym's financial trouble, plus Oyei seemed to be very in his head like he's worrying about something. It would be a very pleasant surprise if others are right and Oyei is actually panicking a bit because he's planning on proposing to Cher.

Not that I don't see where Cher was coming from, in fact I was mostly wondering what was going on in Cher's head, and seeing how confused Oyei got, he's acting weird too. Considering it came right on the heels of seeing Yak and Dee being giant fucking "platonic" simps around each other, I'm a bit unsurprised he was wondering if Oyei had gotten bored, especially if he suddenly isn't being his usual handsy self.

Or, I wonder if this has literally never happened before and so now Cher is starting to think "the spark is gone! 😰" I kind of want it to keep happening for a bit just to see if maybe we get a bit of turned tables and Cher getting handsy - only for it to backfire a bit because Oyei is clearly down for anything anywhere. (Oyei: Here in the office? 👀 Cher: Wait- *door closes ominously*)

I do like the snapshot that argument gave us of their lives though, outside of what we see in the gym. Made it very clear that these two are very much gone on each other if the norm is Oyei and Cher wrapped around each other every night. And considering the only reason Cher really seems to rebuff Oyei's advances is because they're in public (or Oyei is sweaty but that feels more like an excuse at this point), they're probably even more nauseating to be around at home - no wonder Yoryak had taken to wandering the streets at night.

tl:dr - I think Oyei is up to something, and that something is likely due to the gym's financial issues already alluded to, not because his relationship with Cher is fading

[heretherebedork]

I love how Plakao is just here to support Dee. You need bravery to ask out the guy who's been flirting with you? Go for it! You need a wingman when he turns out to be a manipulative little shit? I gotcha ya, let's go get drinks! You're competing against him for an international scholarship and popularity contest that's also symbolic of the inherent bias for heterosexuality in all of the systems of this world? Let's go get coffee at Cafe for All and cheer for you!

He's the best buddy who dropped explaining asexuality to his ex who broke up with him over it to support his bestie's breakdown and now he's here to fight systemic homophobia in a symbolic battle against queerbaiting. Love the man.

[doublel27]

Okay, so fresh Wandee Goodday theory coming through.

I know we all thought Yak was going to be the one who knew he fell first, because he’s in so deep, but after Ep 4, I’m not so sure.

One, Dee has Plakao to be his voice of reason and is already admitting to Kao that he’s jealous of Yak’s crush and Kao is making observations like this.

Conversely, when confronted by Cher about his feelings for Dee through the evidence of giving away his prized name necklace and effectively claiming Dee, Yak denies it by saying that Cher already knows who Yak has feelings for and when pushed says this:

Which, the phrasing of “I’m not someone who changes his mind easily.” Is a really interesting denial. Because he’s affirming his commitment to his feelings for Taem. That just because he has Dee and they’re close doesn’t mean he’s going to change his mind or his feelings.

And it got me thinking of some other bits of nuggets we got about the Phadetseuk family.

His mom opened the gym and when asked about his parents Yak makes the saddest faces.

We now know thanks to the cold shower that was this week’s cold open that their mother died. But that leaves us with the question of where is their dad. Because my sweetest boys were alone at the hospital.

And their dad wasn’t there. Now maybe something happened to their dad, but there is an actor listed for Yei and Yak’s father and step mother.

Which made me speculate that perhaps there’s a reason that Yak is committed to not changing his feelings for Taem. Perhaps his determination to not be a person who changes his mind easily is tied to their father leaving their mother for their step-mother. And the concept of being like his father, someone whose feelings change easily, and can leave someone they care for, is not something Yak would want.

And I wonder, if this is true (and I could be wrong) how long Yak will hold on to his feelings for Taem even though she does not return them and how committed he will be to becoming a different person so that she might like him when Dee likes him exactly as he is.

Definitely curious if part of his feelings for Taem are tied to her helping him study and how his mom sat and encouraged him. Dee filled a bit of that function this week and it was a beautiful parallel but Taem has been doing it longer.

And don’t get me wrong, Dee is gonna have his own issues. He’s a hopeless romantic who definitely is not always the most reliable narrator, but he’s coming around. Still waiting to learn more about his parents car accident and how that’s left him desperately wanting someone to care for him.

These two are delightful and well fleshed out characters. I cannot wait to watch them continue to stumble through this fake dating disaster they’ve created.

[pandasmagorica]

Am I mistaken or did Yak "meung" his older brother? I saw a post that said he "meung"ed Ter, but no mention of "meung"ing Yai.

[almayver]

Personally, the feedback I would give Kao is to make the headbands adjustable or something because they seem to slip off really easily

[manogirl]

This is not a fully fleshed out thought because I don't do meta (discovered it kinda took the enjoyment away for me) but something something characters throwing up red flags in shows that want you to read them that way vs shows that do not...

eg: Ming in My Stand-in vs. Wandee in Wandee Goodday

[poomphuripan]

Thanks for all the updates about msi, it's good to see people like you so committed to a series, really, what a time to be alive!

hi nonnie (✿◕‿◕✿)

imma be totally honest with you, i did NOT expect myself to be this committed to my stand-in either. like i knew msi was one among my four most looked forward to series (the other three being spare me your mercy, wandee goodday and my golden blood) but i truly did not expect to find myself giffing 40% of each episodes, even extra content and behind the scenes for it...

but i just love reading the meta posts from fellow msi watchers so much, or even just the brilliant tags on my msi posts/edits, so much that i was absolutely down bad for this series before i even knew it.

confession time: i actually spent my weekend looking at old stills, rereading parts of the novel and relistening to the audiodrama just to figure out how future episodes of my stand in might end.... yea.... the msi brainrot is super real and lethal. yea completely unsolicited tmi from me （づ￣3￣）づ╭❤️～