#washed my ass fr

[kittycomrade]

Besties i got covid 💀💀💀💀

[toniodarling]

Being schizophrenic is so fucking stupid like. Okay I know walking alone when it’s dark is scary. But you know what’d make this even scarier? They’re there, they’re everywhere and they’re especially behind you. I know you can’t see them but what if they’re there lol

[twistedappletree]

getting rid of a pet because your partner doesn’t like them is crazy, i’d dump a mf so fast lmao

[psychicequalizer]

i could think abt w.a.s.p. forever and ever but instead im gonna go to sleep so i wont have the urge to end it all tomorrow

[echthr0s]

living up to one's principles is not always easy (the aspiring rotpriest had to drag out the maggot-covered trash bin for collection)

[dryad-lesbians]

every year on the 25th of May I say to myself "gee, I should really reread Night Watch, or at least get around to those couple Discworld books I haven't read yet" and somehow every year on the 25th of May I manage to have like 5 things scheduled and casual reading remains a thing to yearn for.

[sleep-nurse]

I love how people can just drag me like im 10 kg

[thestarofcottonland]

i have had the worst cough of my life this past week and a half accompanied in turns by sore throat runny nose fever and headache....mostly having to avoid perfume, on my better days i find the only fragrance i can wear is glossier you. my only truly gentle scent, but i hardly ever wore it because sillage (at least when you can only apply with the rollerball) is nothing and longevity is like at most 2 hours. but the scent is really comforting. i think we are bonded now

[whump-queen]

I fucking hate communal laundry machines I just spent like 5 hours doing a shit ton of laundry, had to wash a bunch of it TWICE and it STILL smells worse than when I put it in. musty with the smells of other people i’m fucking done

[blow-me-a-kis]

I think I could do housemate situation again if I weren't so broke lmao. Then if my roommates aren't cleaning up after themselves, I can just hire a housekeeper. I feel like 86% of housemate issues are due to us all being so fucking broke/stingy, in the case of housemates with access to wealth.

Ive lived in houses where ppl were sooo resistant to bringing in a housekeeper cause they were worried about *exploiting labor*. But those same ppl didn't give a shit about exploiting their housemates' who have to pick up after them.

Like lets just pay the nice ppl a living wage to come and clean so I don't pack my bags and move away in the dead of night because our gross house is driving me to depression and insanity.

I get that cleaning can be so hard when you're checked out mentally/physically disabled, but the cleanest housemate I ever had was a queer elder who was a disabled immigrant recovering from a TBI.

Literally, I had to up my cleaning game because I was fucking up their routine with my little left over messes.

Living with them made me realize 1) Cleaning has little to do with neurodiversity/ability and far more to do with the culture of cleaning you brought up with and 2) cleaning isn't about making messes to deal with later, its something you do as apart of the process of whatever you were doing to make the mess.

You cannot leave a mess to be dealt with later when your later comes after your housemates need to share those spaces.

I'm not done doing my hair if I don't pack up the combs and oils and wipe down the sink. I'm not done cooking if every ingredient I used is still out and the leftovers haven't been sorted and the counter and stove are in chaos. And what I've learned is most of the time these things can easily be done as I go about doing what I'm doing.

I've gotten into the habit of putting things back while I wait for my pot to cook on the stove. I'm even washing every dish I used while cooking, as I cook. Before my plate is even made, the kitchen is ready for my housemates to use.

I don't even leave the bathroom until I put everything back after my little self care routines. I think my housemates can tolerate me hogging the joint for five extra minutes while I make it nice and neat for them.

Cleaning is a mindfulness practice.

A lot of ppl just don't know how to clean, period. Apparently washing dishes properly is a skill on par with knowing Javascript.

Like bruh. Why are dishes with grease and flour on them chilling in the drying rack like you're done?? You know you could use soap, right? And hot water?? There are hundreds of Youtube videos on how to wash dishes. You don't have to just wing it.

But yeah. I do have a lot of sympathy for us broke asses having to live together with our varying degrees of cleanliness and ability to even detect messes.

For me, its very obvious when a space is messy, and its very obvious to me what needs to be done to clean it. I know for some ppl that stuff just fades into the background and they cannot clean what they cannot notice.

So yeah. Gotta go work on this web dev portfolio so I can pay for housekeepers to notice.

[5eraphim]

Fam, I’m sorry about your job. If it makes you feel any better I work with kids and my place REEKS of BO all the time. And there’s….other bodily issues but I’ll spare you the details 😂😂😂

i feel you. its insane to see these RANCID men allowed to just be behind the line all unwashed, from teenagers to 40+ year olds. on god.

its not a great pic, but there are eggshells everywhere in front of the restaurant and- i work on a strip- as in, there are a bunch of other restaurants/retain shops directly beside us and its crazy to see eggshells from us all the way down the street.

also (allegedly) we've already ID'd the prime suspect and its not a bunch of teenagers as i suspected but this one infamous loony who is always walking along the side of the road nodding off on you-know-what.

[duoduotian]

my toilet got robbed again lmaoooo this whole house says fuckkkk my sleep when i'm the one working ??? make it make sense

[sukunasweetheart]

fem!reader, heaps of cum, somnophilia, handjob, blowjob, lots of masturbation, its just mindless smut so um... yea.... i need to go to horny jail fr for this one.

word count: 1k

I just need more perv!sukuna man.... fucking pathetic and desperate and horny, i want him with that degenerate behaviour. hes alr a horny ass mf but ohhh my goodness do YOU light a fire in him that nobody else can... You make him question his fucking dignity bc he gets a raging boner every time you do the bare minimum...

Perv!sukuna who needs to take a bathroom break every now and then around you bc his dick just wont stay down - fucking his fist desperately in a toilet stall being as quiet as possible because this is so out of character for his image, he's supposed to be the nonchalant, mean, coldhearted guy!!

Perv!sukuna who shudders from how turned on he is at the simplest things you might do, like when you bump into him on accident and the scent of your perfume hits his nose like an aphrodisiac, he wants to bury his face against the crook of your neck and inhale deeply - let the smell of you reach deep into his lungs. he wants to run his tongue across your skin so he can check if you taste as good as you smell.

Perv!sukuna who eventually makes his moves on you slowly... but its really difficult when every little kiss makes all the blood rush to his cock. He drops you off to your house after a date, and he makes out with you a little bit in his car before you have to leave, and there, he's sitting in the driver's seat with a tent in his pants. He waits until the window to your room lights up, and begins to stroke himself while thinking about how're you're probably stripping in your bedroom right now, to change your clothes. and speaking of clothes....

Perv!sukuna who likes to bring any of your scented clothes against his nose and jack off vigorously, unable to get enough of it. eyes rolling back when that orgasm hits him while every breath he takes in has your smell embedded in it.

Perv!sukuna who somehow manages to snatch up one of your panties one day and jerks himself off with it... he didn't want to cum directly on it yet, but he couldn't help himself and soiled it so quickly. he'll need to wash it now, and your scent's gonna be lost. if that's the case, he'll just use it a few more times to get himself off. (by the end of it, he's ruined it beyond washing with his seed by going a bit overboard...)

Perv!sukuna who starts nosebleeding the first time he actually gets to wet his dick with your pussy. You were mortified when drops of blood started running down from his nose once his cock was inside you. He wipes it away with tissues from your bedside and insists hes fine with a wolfish grin... he's just overtly aroused. that night, he wound up using a whole box of condoms from just your cunt alone. milked completely. so satiated. at one point, he had forgotten to change condoms after cumming once and blew a couple of loads into the same one, making you balloon up a bit.

Perv!sukuna who has a libido of an endless pit, he can stay hard and just cum over and over and over again... could stuff you so full you'll be pushing his seed out of yourself for literal days after having sex with him, once you're on the pill. he's just dumped his seed into you but his hips are still thrusting, cock heavy and ready to give you another one without pulling out once.

Perv!sukuna who is obsessed with any and every part of your body. the way he gropes your tits, ass, thighs, hips, etc. resembles a perverted old man - those grabby hands are always finding a way to squish your flesh whatever chance he gets. those large, searing and calloused hands are constantly gliding across your skin, making you wet your panties without failing all the damn time. his arms snake under your clothes very sneakily. you can push him away and verbally chastise him all you want, but you can't hide how much you enjoy all of it...

Perv!sukuna who becomes relentless with somnophilia once you give him the consent-- it starts off with just pathetic and desperate dry humping, but soon you'll be waking up with his dick anywhere on the surface of your skin or inside you, and you're greeted with a 'good morning' that's riddled with a deep groan, followed by ropes of his hot cum spilling in or onto you.

Perv!sukuna who just HAS to drag you to somewhere like the public toilets, in order to get you to suck him off or stroke him or SOMETHING bc his boner is getting too painful (you caressed his thigh). you always opt for jerking him off when you're outside, because things tend to get too messy when you let him in. he has no self control smh... now he's fucking YOUR fist in a stall, panting in your ear and saying things like "fuck, yes, baby... squeeze me more- fuu-ck," before painting the toilet with spurts of his cum. you grip firmly onto the base of his dick and he almost buckles over from the pleasure. you feel his pulsating cock in your hand and bite your lip hard.

Perv!sukuna who gets an oral fixation after you gave him head once. things get difficult for you. those pretty lips wrapped around his erection makes him absolutely feral. now he's thrusting in and out of your throat mumbling "fuck- i can't- help myself-" because you're tightening up on him so nicely and it feels too good. releases straight inside with your nose pressed onto his pubic bone, hips jerking as you feel the spurts hit the back of your throat and seep down to your stomach. his eyes half-lidded, high from the pleasure.

sukuna might be the greatest pervert of all time, but what does it say about you when you stay with him regardless? you enjoy being his live fuck toy. thankfully, he gives you great aftercare and spoils you silly behind the scenes. (i wasnt bothered to write the romance aspects so please imagine it yourselves <3) the way i wanted to add MORE but refrained bc it would get a bit too repetitive :)

Masterlist

[buckys-estrella]

think I tore my ass???

[cvnt4him]

How I think certain guys would be w a chubby gf bc who doesn't love chubby girls??

..............................................

T.Iida.

He definitely doesn't really care ab weight, he was js surprised someone wanted him.

He does care about you gaining weight because the risks that can come from being overweight scare him more than it does you.

He tries to occasionally get you to eat healthy and consider doing a diet [he would try so hard to say it in a chill way to not anger you or if you're like me, a sensitive chubby person, he'll try so hard not to make you cry to the point you stop eating lol!!!].

He overall just wants the best for you, and if you've really begun to love yourself regardless of how you look, love handles, belly fat, stretch marks, cellulite n what not then he will too, he only wants to love you, he feels like it's his soul purpose other than becoming a hero to honor his brothers name or whatever the fuck.

Hes mainly big spoon bc I feel like he's js programmed like that, but he likes laying his head on your tummy while you rub his hair, he'll take his glasses off n js lay there w you. My cutie pie fr

Bite his tiddie make his dick twitch

..............................................

K.Bakugou.

Loves chubby women.

Like he loves it ALLL like hip dips? Yes. Stretch marks? Yupp. Tummy fat? Yummers!!! N when you have fat thighs bro??? He fr LOVES being in between them can't convince me otherwise.

I feel like he would call you cringe shit like chubs js to make fun of you in that cutesy little couple way so bc yk he's obviously joking you don't take it to heart too much bc yk I'm a sensitive cunt so regardless some things pull on my sensitive little heart strings.

He likes to bite your everything. He just loves it bro, leaving hickeys on your skin is js perfection to him.

He loves being big spoon mainly because you are shorter than him, but he just loves holding you either way, squishing every little inch of fat he can get his huge warm palms on.

Sit on his lap, he loves it, the feeling of your weight comfortably sitting on top of him makes him hard fr.

I feel he benches alot like bro I feel like he can take at least maybe ab 300Ibs bc bro, let's keep in mind he was capable of handling OFA in that one movie, at the beginning of the series it was stated you had to have some kind of muscle/mass to handle it n like to not get your shit blown off so yh he can definitely carry you.

He js loves holding you and tightly gripping onto your chub.

..............................................

E.Kirishima.

Chubby chaser, like the definition.

I feel like he respects women the most out of everyone in the class even the girls, he js screams 'I'm an ally to women' bro. Try n change my mind. You can't.

He loves everything about you regardless, skinny chubby, big boobs small boobs, full lips thin, everything about you is mesmerizing to him simply because you just... Are.

Are what you may ask?

You simply just are.

You're like the it girl in his eyes, a goddess, the only being he wants and craves to worship. He loves holding you like bakugou, feeling and seeing your chub in his hands and the way it like squished out in between his fingers when he grabs onto a part of your body that holds a lot of fat, like your tummy or thighs or boobs he'll go berserk.

You turn him on so much you can make out for 3 seconds n his dick is hard as a rock [pun intended bc that's his quirk.]

He doesn't care what spoon he is as long as you're near him, he loves when you rake your fingers through his freshly washed hair and when you kiss his scalp that needs a new coat of dye.

[ bc you're bat shit crazy if you think I'm going near his crunchy ass greasy ass dandruff infested looking like a dandelion field ass head if this mf aint wash it. I'm so dead ass miss me w all that bullshit bc no.. it's that serious. Ik his shit stink stink.]

All slander aside he's a sweetheart and deserves to be loved.

He likes picking you up I feel like, like he'll js randomly throw you over his shoulder for the fun of it.

..............................................

M.Izuku.

My husband, the loml, my twinky little wifey, my male wife, my babygirl, my pookie sugar hunny sweetie bear pie, my zuzubear.

He loves whatever he can get, just like iida. He doesn't realize he actually pulls bitches so when you confess to him [infront of ochako bc I'm a messy bitch] he absolutely blows his top, bc you're really pretty to him heavy or not you're fucking perfect.

He loves being little spoon convince me other wise [you can't don't try🤦🏽‍♀️] he likes being held like a baby bro don't even try arguing bc I'm not even going to reply. He likes laying on your boobs because he's a pervert.

Like he's so perverted if he is on the rare occasion, being big spoon he gets hard when you rub your ass against his dick while you're trying to get comfortable, you love getting dicked down by a powerful mf that can man handle you, don't get me wrong, however it can be tiring fucking someone who has a lot of stamina and can never seem to be tired. Which is why he's semi banned from being big spoon.

He's such a pervert bro, like he fr has It written down in his notebook that mt lady has a fat ass, I js know he writes shit down ab anything that even involves you whether it be sexual or not.

Your boobs seem to feel slightly heavier in his hands? Jotted down. Ass seems to have gotten fatter? Already sketched a very detailed picture of you in a bikini of his hero suit.

Now that we're on the topic of him being far too artistic for my liking, you can't tell me he doesn't draw you in such lewd ways like I'm talking you as a secretary busting out of the seams of your shirt.

Like he fr draws you being fucked by little squid arms like in hentai or whatever. He watches alot of porn so he knows what he likes to see and what hed like to see from you. He's a gooner fr can't convince me otherwiseeee

He's a total goofy goober though, if you talk a certain way or are from a certain region where talking with some sort of accent is shown he will like steal your lango yk? Like the little things you say like if you're British and you say 'bruv' he'll start saying it, or if you say shit like 'goofy' or 'type shit', or insert other things, he'll say it. Even if he doesn't know what it means he js wants to impress you so bad!!

Speaking of which, he definitely impressed you w how good he is at eating puss bro, like there's certain mha guys I feel are js too good at cunnilingus.

he is one of them.

He follows you around in any store and like watches you like a hawk, you'll never get lost bc he doesn't leave your side, shopping for pads or other femininely products? Who gives a fuck you're his girlfriend!!!!

Now I feel he likes to have you sit on his face bc he likes the weight, he also likes carrying you around he def can n yk that so don't even put it past him bc he will not hesitate to pick you up so you can rest your little footsies.

He worships you like kirishima but better, you literally will not have to lift a finger w him around.

I feel as if overall w you being chubby n his gf he doesn't give af if you have weight or not, he js wants you to like him n call him your little malewife.

Speaking of wife I feel he can't cook for shit but is trying to learn for you.

Kiss his neck make him soak his shorts in precum.

..............................................

AN: yk I had to go all out w my baby zuzubear my little twinky malewife, I love me some him. I might make a pt 2 really depends.

[starrluvs]

the facesitting drabbles, ughhhhhh could you possibly do one with johnny cage & kenshi too?? doing gods work fr <3

𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈 + 𝐅𝐀𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

cw: afab reader, oral (fem receiving), facesitting, established relationship, mentions of kenshi's tower ending

wc: 749

a/n: omg my second anon request! yall are already making me so happy, and i hope i delivered properly! and i wasn't expecting these facesitting drabbles to get so much attention, but tysm!! also my asks are still open, so feel free to request something! im in desperate need of ideas 😭

𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐆𝐄

johnny was always adventurous when it came to trying new things in the bedroom. but when he asked you to sit on his face, you weren't too fond of the idea… what if you accidentally ended up hurting him? with a bit of (classic johnny cage) sweet talk, you reluctantly agreed. 

and you were very fortunate for giving in to him eventually because you felt as if you were on cloud nine. johnny always had a pleasure for pleasing partners, so he’s gone down on you multiple times before… but the feeling of literally having your pussy all over his face like this was certainly something transcendent.

all your worries were washed away as he worked his tongue inside of you, desperately trying to reach in as far as he could. johnny’s actions made your eyes roll back in pleasure as you let out a string of moans along with his name.

the actor chuckles underneath you and decides to change things up, relishing in all the reactions you offered him. his big hands secured a strong grip on your hips as he helped you ride his face at a steady pace.

you feel your clit occasionally bump on his nose, followed by the flat surface of his tongue collecting all your juices as he helps you rock back and forth above him. the feeling of him stimulating your core started to become overwhelming as that familiar coil starts to bubble up inside of you.

you grab johnny’s hair and an incoherent warning escapes your lips, trying to tell him you were close– but it proved to be useless as he felt your thighs spasming around his head. the actor grins as he looks up at you and lets you ride out your high with his tongue.

he could tell you finally washed away that worry of ‘hurting’ him once you looked down at him with lust filled eyes– your lips slightly parted as you were catching your breath. his well kept brown hair was now a disheveled mess and your slick was smudged all over his face.

your beloved hollywood star looked like a work of art.

𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐀𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈

gaining his new occupation with the outworld investigation agency meant kenshi became a very busy man. he knew how much time he’d have to put into this and he knew he couldn't always be there to coddle you. however, when he did get the time to make up for his absence, he knew how to properly deliver.

his apology this time around resulted in you sitting on top of the ex-yakuza’s face with his tattooed hands roaming all over your breasts, hips, thighs, ass, everything– all while his tongue licked fat stripes up your pussy.

your thighs felt like cushions around his head, and the warmness of it made him feel like he wouldn’t mind taking a load off from work and staying trapped beneath you forever. his tongue was warm and his occasional strikes against your clit were sharp and steady, making your head spin.

trying to hold back your moans, you cover your mouth with the back of your hand, causing all your sounds to come out muffled. much to the swordsman's displeasure, he bites your inner thigh and makes you yelp. knowing better than to test him, you whine and remove the back of your hand, allowing your noises to come out freely.

despite kenshi still being able to see in his own way with the guidance of sento and his ancestors, he had learned to deeply appreciate his sense of sound (and taste, in this position) ever since he was blinded. the ex-yakuza relished in your sounds much more than he used to before the events that transpired in outworld. 

muttering out an apology to him, kenshi smirks and dives back into your heat. his hands rest on your ass as he squeezes it and ushers you to grind harder on his face. you don't disappoint– grinding messily over his mouth while he attempts to catch it all with his tongue had you moaning in delight. 

you missed this, you missed him– the feeling of his tongue hitting angles inside of you that nobody else could. the feeling of his hands gripping at your flesh, urging you to chase your high. hell– even the feeling on his stubble scratching against the inside of your thighs and your puffy lips down there…

and fortunately for you, kenshi had no intentions of letting you rest tonight.