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demonic-lair · 10 months ago

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Holding on the Memories

Demonic Lair here: this is a one-shot regarding N'rithe and Dhe-hak, both having a conversation about Se'eit and Rak'ne. It's set decades back before the creation of the Re-menda group, when Rak'ne and Hu'nri'a still have to become blooded hunters.

Warnings: the story has mentions of ptsd, panic attack, death and grief.

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Erylia: a type of reptilian bird domesticated by the Naghe-tih clan.

Ra-taro: a predator used as ride and hunting animal by the Naghe-tih clan.

Na'rato: word to indicate Ra-taro handlers.

(These species and terms were created for my story, revolving around this clan.)

English is not my first language.

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N'rithe was petting absently her Ra-taro Ven'te, looking at the yautja training. Her den, situated at the top of the giant tree that grew in her territory, allowed the matriarch to observe every detail of the clan life.

Among the young ones there was her daughter Rak'ne. She looked so happy and carefree, with not a worry heaving on her shoulders. N'rithe thought of Se'eit every time she looked at her daughter.

The sounds of steps coming from behind her made the matriarch tense as she snapped out of her thoughts. Ven'te rested her chin on the yautja's laps, paying attention on her heartbeat and breathing.

Dhe-hak was standing at the door, holding two glasses and a green glass bottle. N'rithe relaxed, resuming petting her animal.

"It's you" She stated, relieved. The scent of the hunter put her at ease.

"Care to share a drink with me, old friend?"

"You are older than me" N'rithe followed with the gaze the male, until he sat next to her.

"Oh the wounded pride! My own matriarch mocking my age." Dhe-hak snarled. "You are about to turn into an elder quicker than me."

They both laughed.

Dhe-hak poured the cerulean liquid, giving the glass to his friend. N'rithe was quick to drink it. The burning feeling on her tongue and throat was welcome.

Dhe-hak looked down at the training area. "She is a good student. She will have a promising career as huntress."

N'rithe looked back at Rak'ne: she was talking with Hu'nri'a, before being pushed playfully by the latest, starting to chase each other until one of the teachers reprimanded them.

"And Hu'nri'a is showing a certain skill to the medical arts." Dhe-hak looked at the matriarch. "I have no doubt they both will be honorable yautja in the future and they will bring good things to the clan."

Hu'nri'a...the stranded sea yautja that Dhe-hak found on a rogue ship. He considered her as his daughter, yet N'rithe welcomed the young one into her life as well since Rak'ne took a liking on Hu'nri'a. They developed a sisterly bond sooner than expected.

N'rithe let out a pleased purr. She was glad her daughter wasn't going to be alone in the far future. She filled her cup again.

"What are your plans for her?" Dhe-hak looked at the cerulean drink, tapping the claws on the glass.

"As long as she is happy and she won't cause any harm to the clan, she is free to take any decision she wants." Her eyes were now on the Ra-taro, altough she wasn't truly looking, her mind was distant with thoughts.

"What if she won't follow your matriarch steps?"

"Being a matriarch is something you earn and you must be ready for so many heavy responsibilities...Rak'ne is more of a free wandering spirit, like Se'eit."

"You mean she is more like you." Dhe-hak stated, his voice softening. They exchanged looks and N'rithe became more malinconic.

"Rak'ne reminds me so much of you, N'rithe. She is fierce, stubborn, at times impulsive but for good causes, with a strong sense of justice." The hunter put the glass down, moving closer to the matriarch.

She sighed, looking to her daughter again.

"Ironic, I see more of Se'eit instead...her fascination towards everything, her affinity with the Erylia, the way she can comfort others with kindness but firmly. Even her short, solitary explorations remind me of Se'eit. She took so much after her mother-"

Dhe-hak interrupted her, his voice turned grim. "You are still grieving for her, N'rithe."

N'rithe turned quiet, her grip faltered on the glass and that didn't go unnoticed by the hunter.

"It has been years, my friend. Your daughter is close to her Blood Hunt... you need to move on." he rested a hand on her shoulder. "I'm saying it for you, for Rak'ne. She always sees her mother complete her duties as an honorable matriarch, but you barely let yourself time to enjoy what life can give. You lock yourself in solitude. You would mourn day and night, let your thoughts drown you if your attention wasn't for Rak'ne and the clan..."

"I can't, not after everything. It took me enough to move on from the anger and betrayal the past matriarch caused. I won't let go of Se'eit memories. They still bring me comfort."

"I miss Se'eit too. She was a close friend to me, we shared many hunts and ceremonies, yet staying stuck in the past will only do you more damage." His tone was kind, but there was a hint of pain hiding.

"You speak as a friend, not as a mate...you didn't see the sides I learned to love of her. When I held her, I felt the world in my hands. I would have destroyed everything for her." Her voice trembled, her grip on the glass tightened. "I can't move on, not after what we shared, not after how I saw her die. Don't ask me to move on, I beg of you...I need to remember her, like I need air in my lungs. It gives me the illusion that she is still here, watching over Rak'ne, guiding us on the right path."

Ven'te let out a few snarls, pressing closer to the matriarch and nuzzling on the yautja's chest.

N'rithe was starting to breathe faster, her hands were trembling. The memories of the last kiande amedha hunt were overwhelming her. Scenes of the ex matriarch, drunk of ego and power, and Se'eit speared by the tail of the queen were haunting her. Her severed arm sent a phantom pain just at the memory of fangs and acidic blood on her.

"I feel if I don't claw at every memory I have with her, even the ones regarding her death, I might end up being a bad blood. I will risk to dishonor the clan, our daughter...I can't hurt her, she was the treasure of Se'eit. Rak'ne was- is everything to us, i can't loose her too."

Her voice was breaking with sorrow, the words rushing one after the other. Her mind was already creating catastrophic scenarios of losing her self-control, losing everything dear to her. The fear of never seeing her daughter. The loss of her wife. Everything was becoming too much for her.

N'rithe desperately searched for the Ra-taro, her hand holding on one of the back spine to try ground herself back.

Dhe-hak slowly crawled until his body was against the matriarch, low purrs left the elite hunter as he rubbed her back. Ven'te kept nuzzling agaisnt N'rithe chest, shifting part of her body on the matriarch's laps as she started to let out rhythmic chirps.

The weight of the Ra-taro's body and the purrs of Dhe-hak slowly started to bring the matriarch's mind and heart into calmness. She closed her eyes, taking deep breaths, focusing on the presence of Dhe-hak and Ven'te. She needed to take back control of herself.

The elite hunter gave a quick look towards the door, to make sure nobody was looking at the scene, but luckily no yautja would walk into the Matriarch's quarters without permission. He turned to face N'rithe again.

"Have you talked about it to one of the doctors? Maybe they can ease your state of mind." he talked with soothing tones, his hand kept stroking her back.

"I won't, I need to be the hand that holds together the clan. I can't let them know this is my state despite many years passed from that day. I can't look weak or immature." her tone was harsh, stubborn. She didn't want to show that side of her to other yautja, even if they were doctors.

The hunter let out a low growl. He could understand why N'rithe thought of her mental health in such way: the damage of the ex matrarch's ideas were still haunting the elder yautja of the clan.

Yet it didn't mean he was going to give up and see his friend going through so much pain.

Dhe-hak let out a sigh. "Then let your burdens on me, I want you to be at ease N'rithe. I'm not judgmental and Rak'ne is grown enough to understand when her mother lies about her health. You need to ease your soul."

N'rithe remained quiet, her fingers toying with the small spikes on the Ra-taro's head. Then she nodded. She trusted Dhe-hak with everything.

"I will, but only when you will be comfortable to do so" She shifted her focus on the hunter. "You are a trainer and an elite hunter, you have enough on your plate"

"Don't worry, my duties never stopped me to find time for myself or my friends." he smiled. "Perhaps, one day, I'll take you with me to a short vacation and we will collect all trophies and treasures we can find."

"Dhe-hak, with all my respect...your house is a mess of items and trinkets of all sorts. You can barely find space to lay down or eat...I won't have my place turned like that." She let out a weak chuckle at the thought of his house.

The situation was turning around. Seeing how she was trying to cheer herself up, Dhe-hak started to play again.

"I offer my helping hand to you and you stab me in the back, why don't you take my head and hang it next to your trophies while you are at it?" he smirked.

"Now that would be insulting for my collection." N'rithe tapped her tusks against each other, holding back a giggle.

Dhe-hak gasped offended, posing theatrically a hand on his chest. "My head is the most beautiful thing you will find in the whole clan. Every hunter will fight me to get my skull and have it in their living room!"

"First they will need to find you in that mess you call a house."

They both snickered as they poured more of the liquor in their cups.

Once they calmed down, Dhe-hak resumed his talk. "I must give it to you. Despite your memories, you let Rak'ne be free to travel as far as she can and hunts as she pleases...it's a sign of your growing inner strenght, my friend."

N'rithe let out a soft smile. "Me and Se'eit wanted her to fly high and carefree like an Erylia, run wild and strong as a Ra-taro. Seeing her this full of life and health makes me proud. I see it as an accomplishment of Se'eit will. I would never do something that would stop my daughter's path or that would shatter her happiness."

Dhe-hak was about to reply but the sound of quick footsteps interrupted them.

Rak'ne and Hu'nri'a were standing at front of the door, their breath still fast from the run. They quickly walked in, bowing with respect towards Dhe-hak and N'rithe, then Rak'ne kneeled next to her mother, while Hu'nri'a stood behind her sister.

"Me and Hu'nri'a will be off with the Head Na'rato and a few Ra-taro, we will be back in a couple of days" she smiled.

N'rithe took her hand, looking at her daughter: Her well mannered behavior was betrayed by the impatience to jump into another training session.

"Be careful and-"

"Don't hurt or bite the other students." Rak'ne interrupted her as she signed a cross above her heart. "I'll remember it this time, I swear."

N'rithe chuckled. "And have fun, my little warrior."

Dhe-hak looked towards the two young yautja with a smile. "Rak'ne, make sure Hu'nri'a doesn't wander for unknown herbs or chasing venomous animals. I would like my daughter to come home in one piece"

Hu'nri'a rolled her eyes, patting the shoulder of Rak'ne. "You have to say this to her. She is the one running around and biting other students' fingers off"

"I did it only once! And it was for a right cause, that idiot had it coming." Rak'ne huffed.

The two of them started to head out of the room, giving a last goodbye to Dhe-hak and N'rithe. Even from far away, N'rithe could still hear those two bickering and laughing.

Seeing her daughter that joyful made her own world less miserable. Rak'ne reminded her why she was still keeping her position as matriarch, despite the struggles she faced often.

N'rithe drank for one last time. "Let's finish the day with a positive note. It's time to program the first Hunt of their group."

N'rithe got up and walked towards the east side of the room, where her armor was hanged. However, she only grabbed her cape, locking it on her shoulder pads. Her missing arm ended up covered by the dark, scaley cloth.

Dhe-hak got up as well, grabbing the half empty bottle. "Where shall we send these unfortunate souls?" his fangs tapped on each other, amused.

"Some of the Na'rato suggested Earth, yet I'm thinking of sending them to U'lesyo, that planet where we used to hunt back in our days."

"Ah yes, where even the flowers and trees will try to eat you alive." he snickered, waiting for her at the door. "I'm sure the Na'rato won't mind. Our animals can handle that environment well and it puts enough challenges for the young hunters."

N'rithe smiled, letting out a whistle. Ven'te quickly got up, finding her spot next to the matriarch, her tail wagging.

"I wonder what Rak'ne will bring back from her Blood Hunt."

"Knowing Hu'nri'a, next to the skull, I'll be seeing bags filled with all sorts of plants and poisons. If I'm not careful, I'll end up eating one of her experiments" Dhe-hak huffed, thinking of all the dangerous bottles that were slowly filling his home.

They both chuckled, exiting from the matriarch's den and heading towards the council room.

N'rithe felt more at ease, caressing the neck of Ven'te. She had Dhe-hak supporting her, and Rak'ne was growing stronger each day, with a good conduct. She only hoped Se'eit was able to see them, from wherever she was in Cetanu's reign.

#i haven't posted my writing in a while #and of course it was going to have a bit of bittersweet mood #just how i like it #also as a way to keep practicing yautja writing as i keep working on the fic #n'rithe #dhe-hak #rak'ne #hu'nri'a #naghe-tih clan #predator #predator oc #my yautja writing #yautja oc #yautja

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