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1000punks · 3 months

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bonding. //the playlist

for the folks who want something to listen to while you read bonding., here are some of the songs that i felt fit the fic. ♡

if you want a detailed reason/analysis (song-by song) head under the cut. otherwise, enjoy. and thank you to everyone who supports this fic!

after midnight - wayv this song is all about the baser/physical aspects of intimacy, it's night-based, and it talks a lot about secrets and desires. my favorite line is: that someone's scent and someone's secret, someone's scent breaks the gap between each other - which i'm sure sounds more eloquent in chinese. (translation here!)

the summoning - sleep token i know this is the "token astarion thirst trap song" but i think i particularly like the lines: raise me up again, take me past the edge, i want to see the other side. new life, pushing boundaries in a healthy way.

rain - sleep token favorite lines: and i don't wanna get in your way but i finally think i can say that the vicious cycle was over the moment you smiled at me - nuff said.

hell above - pierce the veil cannot spend another night in this home i close my eyes and take a breath real slow the consequence is if i leave, I'm alone but what's the difference when you beg for love? this song is very astarion to me, i feel like it's reminiscent of his escape/kidnapping at the very beginning of the game, as well as that first sexual encounter.

first light - hozier another token astarion song! festé, to me, is very sun-coded. and i think this would be astarion's way of saying that he didn't know things could be this good before that damned imp walked unceremoniously into his life.

haunted - type o negative this part: a living flame, impossible to resist; burning me deep with every bite, kiss and lick. astarion's thirst, and the effect festé's blood and body seems to have on him. also, the way he can't figure them out even though they're very up-front about the things they say and do.

sexual healing - marvin gaye, kygo this one is pretty obvious but!

mother may i - coheed & cambria i wanted to grab this one as a nod to one of astarion's voice lines. but this line: god only knows when your word isn't pure, and the blood on your hands isn't yours screams to astarion's guilt for manipulating them. oopsie

boy division - my chemical romance this line: i buy my enemies rope to hang me and the knives to gang me; you can watch them stab me on your television referring to astarion feeling like he was complicit in his own trauma, and the anger that goes along with that. also the coffin part (:'D)

vampires will never hurt you - my chemical romance can you take this spike? will it wash away this jet black feeling? i think, deep down, he feels guilty for having to feed on them, and in general, being the way that he is. of course, they accept him fully but he doesn't accept that, not at the start. also heehoo vampire song

please please please let me get what i want - deftones good times for a change that's it, post. no but this version of this song to me speaks desire, not just melancholy and longing like the smiths (i honestly hate the smiths). deftones brought a more "feral" quality to this cover that i really like.

vore - sleep token your flesh and bone welcome me in, welcome me in are you in pain like i am? will we remain stuck in the throat of gods? will the pain stop if we go deeper? this one is for both of them, honestly. that moment where you realize that, emotionally and physically, you're in too deep with someone to quit, to cut things off.

irresistible - fall out boy this is just for the bdsm elements HAH. no but this entire song, i don't know why it fits them both exactly, but it does. the way they both go through the absolute worst trauma (both apart and together) and can still mostly laugh, shrug, make love, and keep on living.

w.a.m.s. - fall out boy my head's in heaven, my soles are in hell let's meet in the purgatory of my hips and get well on astarion's side, it's a song about feeling like he's the sum of his past deeds. on festé's, it's a song about meeting in the middle and being physically present.

big iron - marty robbins this... lmfao. i was listening to spotify on shuffle and i was like this is so... unserious. festé would love this song. but this (and the wanderer) point to the many adventures they've had before they met astarion. and how they're generally a judicious and "good" person.

the wanderer - dion festé slept around a lot before this, and on the surface, they might seem like a ripple on the water. moving around a lot, having lots of sexual conquests, etc. for as short as their life has been relative to astarion's, they've certainly lived a lot. he's changed them though, they want to stay in one place now.

drowning - radio company this is more under the surface with festé. i feel like if they were here in modern times, they would love folk and americana music. they may look like a thembo, but underneath that, they're emotionally complex and actually quite guarded. specifically this line: hold the day oh we pray to make it through the night i think would have been a hard-hitter in the very end of the netherbrain conflict. they were trying really hard to hold it together for the sake of everyone else, and that's something they really struggle with emotionally; feeling like the world rests on their shoulders.

forever ain't long - radio company take me to heaven or wherever you're from back where it started before the hurt came along this is love, plain and simple, from festé to astarion. it also hints at something they're going to go through in a much later chapter in the fic.

undisclosed desires - muse i listened to this a lot when i was writing //taking. festé is the type of top/dom that intensely cares about whoever it is that they're sleeping with. they're a service top, plain and simple. luckily, they're pretty forthcoming with how they approach topping someone else, though. they want to find exactly what the other person needs, and provide it. i know you've suffered but i don't want you to hide it's cold and loveless i won't let you be denied

coming of age ceremony - hyolyn, xia this song was another one i listened to a lot during //taking. it's about coming into a different role. it's the switch song. hahah it's actually a cover! i think the duet makes it really... sensual. give me twenty stems of roses so i can feel your love is a BAR. 20 roses is symbolic of sincerity and a deep belief in something, so i thought it fit well with the theme of commitment and exploration. (translation here!)

i'll keep you safe - sagun it's really simple, it's a lofi song. does what it says on the can. i imagine it being the background song to the two of them drifting off to sleep in each others' arms, as cheesy as that sounds. they haven't spent a night apart since act 2, give them a break.

tell it to my heart - meduza, hozier this is the song that plays in astarion's head whenever he gets really down on himself. i don't know that he'll ever truly believe he deserves someone like festé, and this is the little voice in his head confirming that. it alludes to him tending to misread situations that are actually innocent, which i think is something a lot of people who have trauma can relate to - jumping to the worst conclusions. what he doesn't know that deep down, they feel the same way.

it's not a side effect of the cocaine, i am thinking it must be love - fall out boy put your hand between an aching head and an aching world we'll make them so jealous we'll make them hate us those moments where astarion is trapped in his memories and he feels his imp touching him and grounding him back in the moment? yeah, i think of this line. they both want to show the other off, they're both so proud of each other and so DISGUSTINGLY in love.

#.txt #.mp3 #.fic #fic: bonding.#oc: festé #i'm all pointy ears #bg3 #bg3 fanfiction #astarion x oc #astarion x tav #astarion x named!tav #astarion bg3 #astarion acunin #Spotify

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peach-jaehyunie · 11 months

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Prologue: Get My Pretty Name Outta Your Mouth

Pairing: YN/Multi Genre: Mafia AU, Gangs, Revenge, Knife play as foreplay Warnings: Swearing, Implied sexual content, Violence Rating: 18+ Words: 4.1k Groups: NCT, WAYV, TXT, The Boyz

Character intros: Y/N “With a Twist, Lee Juyeon “Iceman”, Jung Jaehyun “The Tiger’, Choi Yeonjun “Smiley”, Choi Soobin “Lemon”, Jacob Bae “Molotov”, Qian Kun “Grim Reaper”

“You really purr like a cat when you want something,” you offhandedly remark as you go around picking up trinkets, examining them, and putting them back down.

“That’s how I got my name, you know” Jung Jaehyun, “The Tiger”, sits down on his bed loosening his tie. His legs are carelessly spread and his knees are bent almost as if he were crouching because of how low the mattress is to the floor.

You can feel his eyes on you, analyzing your every move through the glass panels that separate his room from where you were exploring his bachelor pad. ‘Cocky fuck, you can see right into his bedroom as soon as you walk in.’ Your skin prickles as the only rooms left unexplored are the bedroom and bathroom, and you take careful steps towards the glass he was still watching you from behind. Jaehyun removes his tie completely, tossing it carelessly towards the foot of his bed as you lean against his dresser. Your eyes meet from across the room and his expression turns somewhat predatory as he begins to unbutton his shirt collar. Hating the way he looks at you, you turn to examine the watches he had laid out on the dresser. Some were sporty and sleek, others were jewel encrusted and they all felt heavy in your hands.

“Aren’t you gonna ask why I brought you here?”

You turn back to face him on the bed, smirking at him; though you had very much been wondering why he wanted to see you in such personal quarters.

“I’ve been waiting for you to tell me,” you don’t miss the way his eyes wander to your leg that shows through the slit in your dress as you take a few steps towards him.

Jaehyun sat forward letting his eyes slowly travel from your leg back up to your face when he spoke his next words:

“I want what you have hidden between your legs.”

You scoff, but your eyes remain cold as steel: the only thing hidden between your legs was a defensive weapon.

“I assure you that there is nothing between my legs that would be of any interest to you.”

“Okay, I’ll bite again,” he says as he stands up and closes the gap between you “How about what you have hidden between your breasts?”

If you were being honest, it was a bit of a surprise tonight when you had been instructed to meet someone from Purgatory and waiting for you at the bar was their best hitman.

“I suppose you think women only have two hiding spots.” you speak in an even, liquid tone as if your voice could bathe Jaehyun’s entire form.

“Not at all; but last time I took a special interest in what was between your thighs.”

Jaehyun had circled you and come up behind to rest his chin on your shoulder. His words made you feel a little warm, and his touch made the contents of your stomach churn in a bad way. Of course your dumb luck would have it that they would send The Tiger out to meet you tonight; just incase you were to trying to pull a slick one on the most powerful mob in town.

“I hope you weren’t expecting some rookie tonight that doesn’t know all the tricks you have in your little bag of goodies.” His breath is hot against your neck, but it makes your innards ice cold.

“I hate to disappoint you,” you say, turning to face him, “But I have no tricks tonight and you’ve wasted your time bringing me here.”

Jaehyun steps in really close to you, his body pressing into yours but you have no intention to step back just yet—even when you can feel the mostly forgotten revolver in his pocket imprinting against you.

“Then where’s the chip, little Twist?”

“Hidden,” you smile at him, taking a little step back “In plain sight.”

Jaehyun’s eyes scan you for a moment, he’s just about had enough of playing tiger and mouse. You want out of his apartment as quickly as possible, so you bring your hand to the beautiful ear cuff encrusted with diamonds that you wear and remove it.

“Hand it over.” He puts his hand out to you, stopping you from where you were just about to place the ear cuff on his bedside table.

Slowly, you stretch your hand out to his; your other hand ready to reach for the blade hidden between your thighs in case he tries anything. You drop it into his outstretched palm, turning to leave—your job is done.

“Not so fast,” that’s what you were afraid of: his boss didn’t just want the chip, he wanted information.

“So that’s why you wanted me to come home with you.”

You don’t look at him, your back is still to Jaehyun and you look straight ahead as you speak.

“Well...we have some fond memories here, too.” He chuckles as you hear him pat the bed.

“I think once was enough—“

“Three times wasn’t it?”

The cocky tone in his voice is unmistakable, you need to get out before you get caught in the intricate web of lies and fantasies he spins.

“I got it in an unmarked envelope, I don’t know who sent it.” You change the subject completely, hoping he forgets the ludicrous ideas about getting you back into his bed.

“I don’t believe you.”

“There was no name—“

“I believe that part,”

“No fingerprints,”

“Understandable,”

“There wasn’t a note or anything, so I really—“

“See, that’s the problem, Twist: my instincts and sources tell me that’s bullshit.”

His sources, see that was the real problem: everyone here ratted on everyone else and the Grim Reaper always found out. His little moles lived in every gutter and vent.

“It just said ‘Use it well’,”

“That’s all?”

“That’s all,” you hoped the slump in your shoulders was imperceptible.

“Well, I guess if that’s all then you can go...I always can find you later if I have any questions.”

Hopefully the little information leaves less of a chance for blood on your hands. You don’t even take one last look at the apartment: hoping you’ll never see it—or its inhabitant—again.

You got in the elevator alone, remarkably calm for someone who had just spent the evening with one of the most dangerous people in the city. Taking out your phone and typing in the password (as fingerprint print codes and face recognition were more lethal in this line of work), you open up your messages app and click on an icon of an angel with the nickname ‘Cobie’.

<<It’s done>> you text him.

<<That took longer than I expected>> he replied just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened.

The lobby was empty so you decided to text him back:

<<they sent the tiger>>

You sighed, exiting the lobby your stomach still feeling a little iffy with the gnawing feeling of being watched. You wouldn’t doubt that there were cameras set up to monitor who came and went from his building. Filled taxis passed by not looking for any more passengers. The night air prickled your skin as you waited for an Uber to arrive.

“Where are you going?” the driver asked once you were seated.

You named a busy street off the top of your head, pulling out your phone again as it vibrates in your hand.

“Where are you going?” The voice on the phone asked you before you could even say ‘hello’.

“Location 4,” you lean over to check the GPS on the dash “In about eight minutes.”

The line immediately disconnects; pressing your lips into a thin line, you endure the rest of the ride in silence—the driver seems to sense that you are in no mood to talk. The transition works something like a well oiled machine: effortlessly you step out of your Uber onto the curb of a busy nightlife hub, and just as your Uber is pulling away a dark vehicle with dark windows pulls up and you climb inside.

“Hey, Smiley,”

The yellow-blond-haired man in the driver’s seat grinned as he looked into the rearview mirror. This car ride was even more silent, Smiley kept his eyes on the road or diligently checking the mirrors. You had never known him to take the same route twice, he didn’t need a map he just drove: roundabout ways, shortcuts, handling vehicles through narrow alleys as easily as if he were on a highway. You finally took the other earring out and put it in your clutch as Smiley pulled up in front of a warehouse fitted with garage doors. He maneuvered to one of the entrances, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel before a motor sounded from inside the warehouse and the door began to rise. Within the warehouse was a garage; cars of different sizes and makes each parked in their own bays, a little office was in the corner and light shone through its barred windows.

There was a strange mix of smells when you opened your door to get out once Smiley had pulled into a bay; motor oil, chemical cleaners, and a distinct odour of candles that had just been blown out. Smiley didn’t move from his seat, he had pulled out his phone and was absentmindedly chewing gum as he scrolled. You sat there with the door open for a minute, waiting for him to say something or make a move to get out of the car. Smiley must have become aware that you were waiting on him as he finally put his phone back in his pocket, clearing his throat as he turned to look at you. A little groan escaped your mouth when his bruised eye and split lip finally came into your view. He chuckled at your reaction, but there was no hiding how tender his lip must have felt as he winced.

“I thought you seemed quieter than usual.”

“It stings a bit to talk,” tentatively he brought his fingers up to his split lip “And where my lip ring is it kinda got smashed right into my gums on the bottom.” He pulled his lip down to show you his bloody gum below his front teeth. You shook your head, turning away from him so he didn’t catch your eye roll.

“The other guy looks way better, no doubt,” came a voice and you were suddenly face to face with a young guy who stuck his head through your open door.

Eric was smiling and he offered you a hand as you stepped out of the vehicle.

“I’m a pretty nice guy, I let them off with just a scrape,” Smiley defended as he finally got out of the vehicle and tossed the keys to Eric.

Eric searched through the pockets of his coveralls before pulling out another set of keys and tossing them back to Smiley.

You and Smiley said your good-byes to Eric, walking over to a car parked near the office where framed baseball jerseys hung displaying the name ‘SOHN’.

Smiley’s car smelled sweet, as though Juicy Fruit gum had been marinated into the seats.

“Anything interesting tonight?” He asked as he pulled back out onto the road.

You thought back to the hotel bar where you recognized Jaehyun—that was a story best kept between you and Jacob; especially the part where you went back to The Tiger’s apartment. You kept your expression still, only moving your head to look out the window.

“Tonight was uneventful.” You paused, clenching your thighs together so you could feel the firm outline of the navaja, “But I’m...in the market,” you trailed off.

Yeonjun’s head snapped to look at you, he cleared his throat and you were sure that if it had been light out his eyes would have been visibly sparkling.

Maybe it was earlier than you thought because when Smiley pulled into the Azure Cross Bowling Alley the parking lot was full.

“Busy tonight,” you offhandedly remarked.

“Yeah, um, we’ll go in the side entrance.”

He parked next to a little Mazda sedan, locking his car as you both got out. You followed him towards a metal door on the building, holding up your dress as you stepped around a few large dirty puddles before going inside. There was a faint throb of music to be heard through the walls, and a persistent hum of people talking from the alleys. It smelled like pizza and hamburgers, but you couldn’t hear any noise from the kitchen as you followed him down a hallway only lit with blue backstage lights towards the back of the building. ‘Employees Only’ read the sign on the door, Yeonjun unlocked it and you followed him into a cluttered office that was mostly taken up by a pool table that you couldn’t play pool on because it was covered with boxes of receipts and bank statements. A cluttered bookshelf built into the wall revealed another door; this room was sparse and industrial looking, longer than it was wide.

“I have something that I think you might like,” Smiley energetically walked over to the left side of the room and pulled open a concealed drawer, “I only got it in a couple of days ago and I know you like—“

In his excitement, you were able to walk up close behind him and in the time it took for him to turn around there was a rattle of steel, and the navaja was pressed against his throat. He gulped. Once. His eyes found yours and he gulped a second time. The room was grey but his cheeks were very pink as you glared up at him and pressed the blade into his neck.

Your expression softened, your eyes first and then your mouth followed suit breaking into a kind smile. It was the dull side of the blade.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been wanting to try that all night; it’s more fun to practice on a person.” You close the knife and stow it back between your thighs as quickly as you had taken it out.

“No worries,” Yeonjun looked a bit flustered for half a second, but more than quickly enough his face had returned to his characteristic smirk.

He turned to the polished granite slab in the middle of the room, placing an object wrapped in cloth on the slab. You stepped up to the granite table, unwrapping the swaddled knife. It was a switchblade slightly longer than the one you were carrying, with a narrow engraved handle.

“It’s a switchblade variety of Rampuri; a little ornate but still deadly. I have heard about some gravity versions, but haven’t come across any…” Smiley shrugged and half-sat on the granite table, one leg dangling as the other foot remained firmly planted on the floor.

“May I” your hand hovered over the weapon as you met his eyes, taking this chance to once again survey his face and his thick, bruised but still enticing lips.

His assent was nonverbal, and the Rampuri was soon in your deft fingers where you maneuvered it easily because of the knife’s well-engineered balance, twirling it and retracting the blade and releasing it a few times while pretending to draw it.

“I like it,” you finally state, positioning the blade once more into its closed position “I need a few more throwing stars as well; I...missplaced a few last month.”

He gave you a wry smile at your admission, standing up from the table which he sat upon and opening another concealed and very shallow drawer. Yeonjun always had a great selection of shuriken, and without thinking too much about it you grabbed a blue one that was shaped like a snowflake out of the drawer and turned toward the far side of the room where Smiley had lowered a target. In a matter of seconds the steel found its purchase in the eye of the target; you straightened up, glancing back to where Yeonjun stood quietly near the still open drawer.

“It really never gets less impressive,” he remarked while his eyes remained transfixed on the embedded shuriken.

“I agree; it’s a great party trick.” you quipped with a wink. “I’ll get an assortment of five of them,” you nodded your head towards the drawer.

The lethal party tricks were stowed away when you parted with the blond and bruised weapons dealer; given the amount of crime in the city, you sincerely doubted you were his first or would be his last client of the night. He was one or the larger independent suppliers — you knew that gangs like Purgatory imported all their own — Smiley kept all the little players outfitted. That’s how he usually came to know too much information; his mouth could be just as dangerous as the weapons he peddled.

The bowling alley had turned down to a quiet muffle as you retraced your earlier steps up the hallway to an exit. Muffled singing of a soft-voiced woman permeated through the walls and into crevices, there was no din of victory as though a new strike had been made: it made the hallway feel emptier…and much larger. Quickening your pace, the arches of your feet burned in retaliation against your choice of heels. The adrenaline from earlier had worn off, and now you thought about who might have ratted you out to Purgatory or who might have seen you on the arm of The Tiger going up to his condo: and their spectre was your shadow as you hastened to the door.

“Twist,” The deep voice spoke barely above a whisper as you passed.

Your head spun as he interrupted your thoughts, a tall and lanky figure appeared as though between a fissure in the wall where he had opened another door a crack. Soobin’s tousled black hair fell into his eyes, longer than it had been the last time you saw him, and there were dark half-moons beneath his eyes. Stopping long enough only to check that you were alone in the hallway, you slipped beneath his arm as he opened the door further to allow your entrance.

“Have you heard from Iceman?” he interrogated no sooner than he shut the door.

You were shocked by the question, but didn’t let it show in your countenance. “Of course not, I barely know him.” you offhandedly remarked.

Soobin sighed and his demeanour softened, his face looked more youthful when he pouted and you were hit with a gentle pang when you remembered how young he still seemed to you. He rubbed his eyes and padded over to the organized mess of a desk. Monitors of graphs and numbers sat on every surface with notifications sliding into the the right hand corner of the screen every few seconds, choco pie wrappers and half finished salty snacks littered one side table, while surveillance footage broadcast on the wall 24/7.

“What was on it?”

You knew what he was talking about; the chip, but chose to feign ignorance. “On what?”

“The chip — why did Purgatory want it, and who told them that knew you had it?” His questions made you grit your teeth.

“I only told one person. Maybe it was a set up,” The possibility of the latter made you angry; you didn’t appreciate being made a mockery of, or worse: used as bait.

Soobin hesitated before he carefully phrased the next inquiry, “And do you trust the person you told?”

Your blood ran cold in your veins, and the downy hairs on your body bristled at the implication; if you couldn’t trust him then you couldn’t trust anyone. “With my life.” you declared.

The younger man nodded curtly at your words, he heard the finality in your tone and knew to push no further. Nevertheless, ice churned in your belly as it became more apparent that everyone knew you had either been betrayed or duped, knew that you were on Purgatory’s radar, knew that you had been in the den of an enemy and left unscathed. It was a bad time to be seen as amicable with one of the most dangerous and despised men in town, or to be aiding the most powerful.

“Take this,” he held out a piece of brown paper ripped from a bag, you hesitated before accepting the scrawl denoting a location, time and date. “Burn it once you have it memorized.”

__________________________________

Molotov didn’t speak much on the way home to his apartment; both hands on the steering wheel and eyes on the road, but you could tell that he was smouldering beneath the facade — The Tiger had murdered his former gang member only weeks before.

“Did you get anything out of him?” Jacob eventually asked when you arrived home, and for a moment you felt guilty that you hadn’t pressed Jaehyun for more information; even if you knew well enough that he never would have budged if he didn’t want to.

“I wasn’t in much of a position to bargain.” you stated plainly, dropping your clutch and phone on the counter and heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

“I guess he wouldn’t have said anything in public anyways.” He reasoned when you came out wearing a towel.

Jacob sat in deep contemplation on the aged sofa — for a moment you wondered if he had even been talking to you just a second ago, or if he had been trying to talk himself calmly through his rage and stifled desire for revenge. You hesitated for a moment at the door of the guest room where you kept enough of your belongings to spend a night; should you keep up the lie? Soobin’s expression from earlier flashed through your mind when you had said you trusted the person you confided in with your life; you would have to trust Jacob with this as well — before he found out from someone else.

“We weren’t in public — at least not for very long,” out of the corner of your eye you saw him raise his head, “He took me back to his condo.”

Jacob looked as though he was about to stand up when he heard this.

“Don’t worry,” you interjected, “I already checked if he bugged me or anything like that.”

The figure on the sofa sank back into the cushions, but he was stiff and you recognized his thinking expression.

“Can I— Can I ask if you…slept with him?” He must’ve trusted you less than you thought.

“You can,” your voice was cold and deep, there was warning in it that Jacob surely heard.

“Did you?” his tone was clear, undoubtedly perceiving that he was on thin ice, but still intrinsically needing an answer when he was still in mourning for a friend fallen victim to The Tiger's hand.

“Not this time.”

Only in the wee hours when you eventually heard Jacob retreat to his room did you exit to the balcony and burn the note from Soobin that you had memorized.

_____________________________________________

The sky threatened rain, a heavy gust of wind blew desiccated leaves down the sidewalk as pedestrians pulled their lightweight coats shut against the autumn chill that had crept into the air. You are lost in a small crowd of people waiting for the bus, glancing at every face to see if it belongs to someone you might be better to not run into. A bus pulls up, its wheels squealing to a halt and the tide of people begin to move towards its doors. You move with them but also against; you keep weaving to the back of the line until you are the only person left standing at the curb as you watch the doors close and the bus pull away. It’s just you and one of the last remaining phone booths in the city fifteen feet to your right. People walk by fully engrossed by their own personal conundrums — they don’t notice you, or the tinny ring of the phone.

You pick up on the eighth ring: “Hello?”

It takes a moment for you to recognize the voice, and when it registers you can only wonder why the rogue would contact you. Ji Changmin’s best friend, AWOL assassin, the man who avowed to seek vengeance against The Tiger himself: Iceman.

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sunmisbf · 7 months

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the way wayv came in to the poppin love track video w their faces covered looking like they’re part of a gang they thought they did something 🤣 (they did)

#kun walking in lkke he owns the place 🤣 (he does)#.txt

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tvxqdbsk · 2 years

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What I never understood was why Winwin had to stop being in NCT 127 songs after Regular

Like being in two units is not against the rules and he was a founding member so to speak. Why with the inception of WayV does it feel like SM pawned him off to be like oh here you go you have a Chinese unit now go play with them.

Like objectively speaking it's not like WayV was ever as booked as the other two units even before the Lucas thing happened.

I mean we've literally seen this year how if 127 and Dream have live performance schedules at different locations the same day SM will just say sorry Mark and Haechan can't be in Dream today but next time tho xoxo. So it's not as if Winwin couldn't have participated in 127 songs and schedules even while being in WayV especially before the whole pandemic happened.

So what the fuck are the policies is WayV just a convenient dumping place for the non Koreans SM doesn't like and will the potential future japanese unit with Yuta run this same course where he suddenly stops appearing in mainline NCT things unless SM drops them a bone in form of one NCT U song on a 'the gang is all here NCT 2023' group album with however many dudes there will be by this point... like seriously I am exhausted thinking about this

at this point i feel like trying to speculate about why sm didn’t keep winwin in 127 is unproductive because we’ll never know the truth about happened and it doesn’t change much about the present. but if we do want o speculate i think it comes down to a few possibilities eg. it’s a classic case of sm mistreating and mismanaging their chinese idols and not valuing him or giving him a proper chance to do both, or he chose to leave 127 in favor of wayv (the talk at the time was that he seemed happier in wayv and honestly i agree he did), or they removed him because they had too many overlapping plans with wayv since they debuted in 2019 and were in their first year of promotion while 127 had a north american tour that winwin wouldn’t have been able to attend plus the superhuman and awaken albums that came out in 2019 which would have been really difficult for him to squeeze in. Also I want to add that wayv were only active for a year before the pandemic hit and in that time they actually DID do quite a bit of promotions/fanmeets (not to the extent of the other two units yes) but then lockdown happened which basically put a stop to everything they had going on especially in china since they couldn’t travel back and forth anymore.

hard to say what’s going to happen with yuta and 127/tokyo or even if he’ll be in the new unit. but just because mark and haechan go between 127 and dream doesn’t mean they should, or that other members should. mark and haechan are EXHAUSTED. they haven’t had a break in years because when one unit is on break the other unit is promoting and vice versa. it’s not good for them to be overworked like this and it’s clearly taking a tole on them

#ask

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misojunnie · 2 years

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THE EX - FACTOR ─ profiles two. ♪ ⋆ﾟ⊹

nobody ever gets over their ex.

profiles 02. boyfriend roleplayers

# xiaojun: ex boyfriend of y/n y/l/n and professional emo boy. is maybe not over her completely, and cannot keep his thoughts to himself. he simply must tell everyone.

# yeonjun: xiaojun's closest friend outside of wayv, and social media king. obsessed with doing tiktok dances, and never has good advice, except for when he does, which isn't often.

# yangyang: xiaojun's forever bffie, and favorite gaming companion. comes up with extremely horrible plans 24/7 and always goes through with them. maybe had a tiny crush on y/n when her and xiaojun were dating.

# chittaphon: nicknamed ten, he's the oldest of the group, but you'd never know unless someone told you. immature and a troublemaker™ he loves gossip and he lives for stirring the pot of the idol industry.

# beomgyu: utterly terrifying. a menace in all areas, he doesn't really care about xiaojun and y/n's feud, he just loves relationship drama. 21 and already balding, he's xiaojun's favorite enabler.

# sicheng: lovingly called winwin, he's extremely tired of everyone in the friend group. he's pretty much the only one with sense, and constantly tells xiaojun that his plan is a horrible idea.

extras!

# karina: often referred to by xiaojun as "gang", karina is xiaojun's favorite, and only, female friend. because of this, she automatically became girlfriend material by default.

# xiaojun lover: xiaojun's fake fan account to spy undercover on weizennie twitter. it recently became a good channel for advice from his nctzen bffs.

# next | m.list

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

📂 taglist ! @msxflower @enhacolor @hiqhkey @theskzvibe

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what-if-nct · 1 year

Note

https://www.tumblr.com/what-if-nct/718750264121802752/to-the-previous-anon-who-brought-up-wanting?source=share

oh my god you remembered 😭😭😭 thank you <333 anyway yeah i freaked out when i saw this!!! and was like this WILL mean that xiaojun will dance to icky. and HE DID!!!!! they just uploaded it onto kard's social media, i was waiting for this the whole day ever since i saw the diamonds only video. and as i thought he did it so well!!! he served hes crazy hes talented my week instantly got better 😋😁 now i need kard to get their first win with this slutty fun song (bm's verse in this was so funny but in the best way).

and like i said in my first message i need to see ten and yangyang do it (low probability they will rip). but i agree i also want to see BM take yangyang under his wing. would be complete chaos. and i get youuu with the music phases. but its always lovely to just stick to what you are okay with atm esp if its hobbies!! stray kids comeback soon as well which im very interested to see what sound they go for 👀

Of course I remembered! BM's verse is wild, but like he's said so much worse dear goodness and I love it. I just know Matthew would make Yang so much worse, absolutely insufferable and I need it to happen. Yangyang already gets the wildest lines i want him to be so much worse. I believe in him. If anyone can do it it's Matthew. Yes sometimes you need that comfort media. Yes! skz comeback literally a day away. And from what I've heard so far it's going to be so good. The chorus of the main single is so satisfying to my little rodent brain I can't wait to hear the rest. And top line I think is the most awaited song like I know it's going to be good plus with the mv concept. I love a good mafia\gang concept and SKZ does it so well. I'd love a well gang concept from NCT, they could be a Mafia but they do give more street gang vibes. Well 127 does, Dream and Wayv can do Mafia.

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aris-c0rner · 1 year

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pre-read: beautiful deception

hello all! ari here, i finally got around to editing, updating, and moving my NCT gang au, “beautiful deception”, off of wattpad and onto tumblr! it’s been about 6 or so years since i first wrote this fic... wow. it got a lot of love on wattpad, but my writing style has changed and grown immensely since i started this, so i figured it was time to give it an upgrade and finish it here on my tumblr. so if you read this fic and it seems really really familiar for some reason, you probably read the initial version of it on wattpad under my old username mineyoonghi!!

a few things to be aware of before you begin reading:

1. i started this fic waaay back when NCT was ot18, literally days after the “black on black” mv was released lol. that being said, the fic is written with only ot18 until chapter 21, when i found a way to incorporate wayv; i am hoping to find a way to make it ot23 but be warned, you may not see sungchan or shotaro here.

2. i wrote the initial fic on wattpad from a 1st person pov and named the character song seunmae- i decided to change this and instead convert the fic into a reader-insert 2nd person pov, so bye-bye seunmae lol. if you see the words “i” “me” “my” etc. in this fic, that’s just a typo from the original version hehe, please ignore.

3. i got locked out of my wattpad account where i wrote this fic (mineyoonghi) a few years ago because i lost access to the email i used to sign up.. smh. anyways, wattpad has been a bitch about not letting me get back into it so the story is unfinished on there; i’m pretty mad abt it because i had SO many chapter drafts and plot points saved in my unpublished works there, and i have no way of getting back to it to remember where i was going with the story. so everything after ch.21 will be from scratch, since that was the last part uploaded on wattpad for public reading. i’ve called my email provider so much that they know me by name and they still can’t unlock the account for me. ugh.

4. in case i havent mentioned wattpad enough yet, i’d like to say that this gang au was largely inspired by another fic i read on there named “bandaids”!! i totally fell in love with it although i don’t remember the user who wrote it (or if it’s even still up anymore). so if you see a lot of similarities between bandaids and this fic, it’s because beautiful deception was brought to life after reading that one!!

5. if you’re an OG who read the oldie version of this up on wattpad, two things: i love you i love you i love you, and also forget that version pls and thanks its SO embarrassing haha. but seriously, if you remember that version then you remember how weird the ages/personalities were for some of the members,, don’t worry i fixed that here. idk what i was on when i wrote some of the members that way lmao but it’s all good in this fic, it’s much better now.

6. if you were one of my beta readers for mineyoonghi and you remember who the traitor is, DO NOT I BEG OF YOU PLEASE!!! do not comment who it is!! please don’t spoil the reading experience for my lovely tumblr followers,, and for those of you who have no idea what i’m talking abt: it’s not who you think. :)

7. this was such a long note so thank you to all who made it through to the end!! i’m so excited to bring this passion project of mine back to life after so many years, and happy reading! xoxoxoxo times infinity!!!

#beautiful deception #mark lee fanfic #nct gang au #nct au #mark lee #nct mark #fanfic #kpop fanfic

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stoptalkingwithme · 1 year

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀gang gang gang everyone!!

kpop / k-rock (not a top, just a list):

⠀ateez, xikers, cix, nct & Lucas, wayv, day6, the rose, the volunteers, wave to earth, shinee, o.o.o, monsta x, class:y, purple kiss, block b, bnd, woojin, wetter, lucy, txt, kardi, oneus;

khh / krnb:

⠀nafla, mokyo, dpr ian, huh, dvwn, code kunst, big naughty, jay park, zico, løren, pH-1, skinny brown, kid milli, don malik, bloo, blasé, roh yunha, sik-k, haon, d.ark, groovyroom, colde, bryn, damini, jiwoo, yanghongwon, simon d, loopy, owen, jey, yerin baek, ash-b, omega sapien, goopy, ash island, giriboy, zior park, gemini, woo, tabber, youngji, sion, 0wave, balming tiger, chillin home, cherry boy17, millic, fleeky bang, chu seo jun, chwvin, eaj, maddox;

other:

chanmina, versailles, gulu gulu, 告五人, xaaxaa, lamp, lil ghost 小鬼, tessa violet, lana del rey, Lexie Liu, beabadoobee, cavetown, 莉莉周她說, Lücy, KUN;

pinterest: wurette

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liu-yu-xin · 1 year

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Fucking wig…. Wegot sun wukong and his bald boss and his whole gang at the wayv fanmeeting. This is so funny i hope they know how funny they are

#huge overlap of my interests. talking about wayv and about sun wukong #if i was an idol and i kept seeing the sun wukong face in the crowd ubet im looking at it all concert #wayv

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ambivartence · 2 years

Note

p1h and wayv for the ask game (yes im giving you an excuse to talk about xiaojun) <3

PIWON!!!!!! (also i answered wayv here ! <3)

p1harmony: ✦ my first bias: keeho ?? he's honestly just the first one i learned but i knew i was kinda doomed the moment i saw "the first guy" in the maniac cover video (aka jiung LOL) ✦ my current bias(es): jiung & keeho & intak (& theo??? ive been watching so many theo comps and vlives recently and i adore maknae line so much too so should i just collect them all???) ✦ my album and/or era ranking (or favorite of each): i HAVENT LISTENED TO ALL THEIR B-SIDES YET but ! doom du doom > scared > do it like this > siren (except if we're doing it by jiung/keeho's hair styling alone it would be siren > scared > doom du doom > do it like this sorry mint choco chip boy) ✦ how i got into them: HOW DID I GET HERE??!?!!!??? i think the coincidental timeline aligning of the youtube algorithm aggressively suggesting me keeho funny clips + them getting last-minute added to the kcon lineup + the conan gray maniac cover (+ jiung's avril lavigne girlfriend cover) = hook line and sinker for me 🙃 and then doom du doom / the entire album ended up bEING SO GOOD i honestly didnt stand a chance ✦ which member would be my best friend: probably keeho because the way he described how he befriended jiung sounds scarily like how my current roommate seduced befriended me and i think keeho n jiung might have the same mbti as my roommate and me (??? she's either entp or intp i think) but also i would get along rly well w jiung n jongseob bc intj gang 😎 great minds think alike etc etc. ✦ something i associate with them (or with a bias/any member): every keeho meme ever (girl this is a white wall, hey yall it's a vampire from the south south west, fly damien fly!, etc etc lmao i have them branded onto my cerebrum at this point), ariana grande / nicki minaj / sza for keeho, choco chips for jiung, theo's secret aegyo, soccer and michael jackson (his isac gold medal!! 🥺) for intak, soul's weird noises and 'oh my gawd' and 'yes!', and jongseob kpop star 6 and baby goblin !! also overall amazing vocals, fun songs n energetic dances, fire rap verses, and absolute chaos off stage <3

> send me a kpop group <

#ask game #njaems #i... did not mean to write so much what is wrong w me #anyways i just remembered that harmony forest season 2 comes out today iM SO EXCITED ive watched season 1 twice already #i hope they have the same editing team for this season...

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heyitsjooooanne · 5 months

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Hello!

If you're here reading this then that means you found the link to this post explaining the inspirations behind my now finished (barring some much-needed improvements of course) original time travel science fiction, "Jikanime Motori!"

Inspirations and mild spoilers below the cut!

(Warning: There's a brief mention of child abuse in this essay. I don't describe it in detail, but it's there.)

Two years and six months.

Wow.

Working on the last few chapters made me realize that I could've gotten everything done in less than six months if I pushed myself, but oh well.

At least I got the story done.

So, I'm gonna divide this essay into five categories:

Major Inspirations (Why does this sound like a character name? lol)

Specific Inspirations

Personal Inspirations

General Inspirations

Unused But Still Notable Inspirations

Bonus:

Helpful writing tools and research that I used in the story.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Major Inspirations

Okay, so these inspirations were pretty much with me throughout the entire story, because, well, they inspired the three groups!

- - - - - - - - -

Let's start with the most important one:

"Call Call Call" by SEVENTEEN

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This music video is the reason why this story even exists in the first place.

Why?

First, because it shows 3 things:

1. Thirteen guys on motorcycles (check)

2. Three groups made of five, four, and four. (check)

and

3. Three different groups with three different styles. (check check check)

And second, because after I watched it for the first time in 2021 I was like, "Three different-looking groups…this could be something with time travel."

One of my first ideas was a time-traveling gang rivalry, but that idea quickly faded away. I wouldn't have known what to do with an idea like that anyway, and I also didn't want this to be a typical guy-turf-war story. Of course, I didn't know how the story would end at that point, but still. I just knew I didn't want it to be that kind of story.

- - - - - - - - -

The second major inspiration piggybacks off "Call Call Call" in that it served as additional inspiration for the first group living in Canada in 1969.

"Gambler" by MONSTA X

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- - - - - - - - -

The third major inspiration was "Breath" by GOT7, although looking back on it now, I can tell that the inspiration is very loose. But some of the elements are still there for group 2 with everyone walking among those sets and everything. And all the characters in that group use social media in various ways, so in my mind, it works.

"Breath" by GOT7

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- - - - - - - - -

And finally, the fourth major inspiration was "Kick Back" by WayV.

I randomly came across that video, so I just went with it as the blueprint for group 3's look and feel.

I think I had it in my head that I wanted the three different groups to look different like in "Call Call Call," but I didn't want that music video to be the sole piece of media that I got ideas from.

"Kick Back" by WayV

youtube

Huh. This section was shorter than I expected, lol.

Heads Up: All the videos that I mentioned are on a playlist of JM inspirations that I made.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Specific Inspirations

This section is where I'll be listing the ideas that came from specific sources.

Why?

Because it would be arrogant of me to act like I came up with all of these ideas (and really, the story elements in general) in an isolated vacuum.

Every idea comes from something.

The alarm bells in my head go off when someone says their inspiration came from nothing.

In my slightly paranoid mind, I'm thinking:

"Whose idea are you borrowing/possibly stealing from and why can't you admit it?"

Also…

Do isolated vacuums make sense?

Anyway, let's begin!

- - - - - - - - -

Let's start with the Jikanime work phones that were barely (lol) mentioned.

All three phones were directly taken out of "Call Call Call," although I had to look up the phone models themselves (or similar) so I could find out their names.

Group 1 - Rotary Dial Candlestick

Group 2 - (phone similar to a) Western Electric Princess

Group 3 - Neon Lucite phone

Credit for info:

9 Oldest Phones in the World

14 Retro Novelty Phones

Note: If you tap/click on any of the images in this essay you can make them bigger.

- - - - - - - - -

Cliff's outfit the night they go to JMI HQ.

MONSTA X "Gambler" Performance Video by MOVE REC

I let Cliff wear this outfit the night Drew activated his bike. I changed it a little bit of course, but for the most part, this is what he wore.

And Joohoney is a good inspiration for Cliff lookswise. In my head Cliff is a mix of him and Biff from the "Back to the Future" trilogy.

- - - - - - - - -

"…the way everyone was arranged at the 'study hall' table was inspired by MONSTA X’s 'Gambler' teaser #1 and the music video itself. Watch the scenes with everyone standing at that table, and you’ll see what I mean."

I copied this from my ending author's note for chapter 8, lol.

But it's true.

MONSTA X "Gambler" Teaser #1

- - - - - - - - -

"Black, and black, and black, and black," Elias said cheerfully as he put an arm around Skylar. "Hey, E. Can you tell me what color this is?" Arnold asked, pulling up the top of his uniform. "I think it's black." — Chapter 15

Very obviously inspired by this video (Pepsiman - Part 1: The Hero We Deserve) from BrainScratch Commentaries.

It happens at 5:28 in the video.

- - - - - - - - -

Adam put his arm around his seat and looked Wayne in the eyes. "There's a serious dihydrogen monoxide problem going on around here. I think that's what it is." — Chapter 26

I forgot how I heard about this, but I thought it'd be funny to include in the story.

Dihydrogen monoxide parody

- - - - - - - - -

Work Uniforms

Group 1 Uniforms

I tried, lol.

But all of the uniforms were inspired by the black outfits in the "Gambler" music video, and I think you can tell.

Although there were some tweaks added because I looked up soldier uniforms from the 60s as well.

Group 2 Uniforms

Their uniforms were inspired by GOT7's Shopee Concert outfits in 2021, a student pilot's uniform, and a director's costume (although in my mind, I barely used it).

Note: For some reason, a weird "1 new message" shows up on my toolbar when I go to the link for the pilot's uniform, so I'll save you guys the trouble of dealing with that and leave it out. You can always look up "airline pilot uniforms" if you’d like to find something similar.

Group 3 Uniforms

Like group 1, the inspiration behind the uniform designs came from one place, but I still tried to make them my own in some way.

That inspiration was WayV's "Kick Back (Korean Version)" Inkigayo Full Cam Performance Video.

I like that ^ version best because the static camera makes it easier to see everything at once.

High quality photos of their outfits can also be found here (some outfits that I thought were just black actually had blue on them :o).

- - - - - - - - -

And speaking of uniforms, the dressing room mentioned in chapter 12 was inspired by that mirrored room in WayV's "Kick Back" music video,

"Kick Back" by WayV

and NCT U's "Make a Wish (Birthday Song)" music video. Specifically, the part where Drew "tries" on a uniform design.

"Make a Wish (Birthday Song)" by NCT U

I also took a photo of this cardboard in 2022 and I thought I was gonna use it, but I never did.

First sketch of the dressing room:

- - - - - - - - -

Keely

I got her name, or rather, the spelling of her name, from Keely Teslow in "Phil of the Future."

That show was part of my childhood, so I had to, lol.

Although Keely could look like anyone since I never specified her looks.

- - - - - - - - -

Keely set a chocolate parfait topped with gold sprinkles down on Audrey's table. — Chapter 26

I saw this dessert on Instagram and I thought it looked cool. So I decided to include it in the story.

Freixenet Cava Chocolate Sparkle Jars

(I was gonna embed, but it didn't work. I also tried to insert the link, but it just showed a "please log in" thumbnail. >_<)

- - - - - - - - -

Theo's "unconventional" black clothing and dance moves from chapter 18 were inspired by this choreography video from 1MILLION Dance Studio.

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Jam - Michael Jackson / Bongyoung Park Choreography

- - - - - - - - -

An electric red guitar with a third of the body black and a black handle was suspended inside a vertical glass case. — Chapter 23

Inspired by the guitar that Marty borrowed in "Back to the Future."

Back to the Future | Marty McFly Plays "Johnny B. Goode" and "Earth Angel" from Universal Pictures YouTube Channel

I also find it kind of funny that the live performance of "Ruby" used a very similar-looking guitar.

WOOZI - 'Ruby' Band Live Session from SEVENTEEN YouTube Channel

- - - - - - - - -

Speaking of Oz's old office, I got the idea for the room from this painting on Instagram.

"The Goldfish Bowl 2021" by Janet Hill

I'm not sure I pulled off the description in the story though, lol.

Oh, well.

- - - - - - - - -

"Hey, Cliff," Jack put his hand on Cliff's shoulder, "Maybe we should ask Bobby if he wants to play 'crack the whip' with us." — Chapter 21 "Any of you fellows ever heard of a game called 'crack the whip'?" — Chapter 24

"Snap the Whip" by Winslow Homer From Wikipedia

I had never heard of the game "crack the whip/snap the whip" before, but there is something about it that's strangely familiar to me. Maybe I saw kids playing it in elementary school or on TV but forgot about it.

Either way, I came across this painting through BTS x Street Galleries on Google Arts & Culture. It was part of J-Hope's collection and when I saw it I thought it looked intriguing. I didn't know what to do with it at the time though, so I took note of it and saved it for later.

This video was also a huge help in seeing how the game works in motion.

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"Crack the whip 1" from Isabel Zepeda YouTube Channel

- - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, the others sat around a fire that Keegan and Liam had started earlier. — Chapter 24

This arrangement was randomly taken from the seating arrangement in the "Attaca Highlight Medley" video on YouTube.

SEVENTEEN 9th Mini Album 'Attacca' Highlight Medley

- - - - - - - - -

The seating arrangement in chapter 13 (during the video presentation) was inspired by the "Chronosaurus" music video by Stray Kids.

Stray Kids "Chronosaurus" Video

- - - - - - - - -

JMI HQ Interior Design Inspirations for chapters 5, 6, 7, & 12

(Yes, I know this essay is all over the place, but oh well. At least everything's labeled.)

JMI HQ Arrival & Launch Area

The lights were like that of an average parking garage, fluorescent, but there was something off about this parking garage. — Chapter 5

I pretty much stole the parking garage from "Call Call Call" for this area.

"Call Call Call" by SEVENTEEN

Hallway Leading Up to JMI HQ's Science Area

I stole this one too, lol. The only difference was that I changed the double-door entrance fans to clocks.

"Kick Back" by WayV

Science Hallway Crossroads

She led them all into a very bright room that looked like a crossroads to somewhere. The floor had black and white tiles, and the walls were so white it made the English guys outfits stick out like sore thumbs. — Chapter 6

I got the idea for this hallway from the "Black Mirror" music video by ONEUS.

I think I'm gonna change it though.

A room that bright is cool for a video, but it might be too bright for real life.

Maybe the walls should be black and the tiles can stay the same?

I'll decide later.

Oh, and Wayne's uniform was directly inspired by the black tie outfits in that music video as well. And yes that means that the other scientists probably wear something similar.

youtube

ONEUS "Black Mirror" MV

Camera Lab and Phone Lab

97% of these two rooms were taken from the "Spin Off (Performance Ver)" music video by UP10TION.

Camera Lab Inspiration

Phone Lab Inspiration

The uniforms for Keely and her posse were modeled after the blue and black outfits, and Eric's uniform was taken from the white and black outfits in that music video too.

UP10TION "SPIN OFF (Performance Ver.)" Music Video

Screening Room Entrance

The doors were light gray, and outlined in black with vertical glass windows on the left side of the left door, and the right side of the right door. The front walls of the portico were also black, but they also had white neon vertical lights that slanted on the top; the left-hand side of the columns were pure white. — Chapter 7

The inspiration behind this was a screening room entrance at a local movie theater.

Employee Dorm Lounge

Kind of modeled after the area at 2:31 in the original version of the "Spin Off" music video, but I was very vague about it.

And I think I also got the idea for the JTO from that blue thing hanging at 2:44 too.

Either way, it's related to the other video, so I wanted to bring it up.

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UP10TION "SPIN OFF" Music Video

Engineering and Mechanics Room

The entrance was a half circle with black lines going up and down in all sorts of directions inside it. On top of it was a black structure with a flat roof and sharp corners that came down on both sides of the half circle. Three black columns stood on either side of the doorway, and two of them on either side had columns with three sections and six vertical black lines inside them. — Chapter 6

Another one that was taken right from the video itself!

And that is the "Favorite Boys One-Take Dance Video" by ACE.

(Warning: Lots of flickering lights in this video.)

youtube

I also got Max and Koji's uniforms from this as well.

Exterior/ J-8 Driving Area

This is the area from chapter 6 when they're all outside and Adam drives around the track.

It's also where they do their bike training later.

I used EXO's "Don't Fight The Feeling" music video as direct inspiration for this and Adam's uniform.

youtube

EXO 'Don't fight the feeling' MV

And finally, the buffet that was first mentioned in chapter 12 was inspired by this very cool 747 cafe that I saw on YouTube.

"Most LUXURIOUS Boeing747 Airplane Cafe Bangkok Thailand - Man Making Chocolate on Boeing747 Cafe" from SpeedFoods YouTube Channel

(We're still on the "specific" section of this essay if you can believe it, but I'm almost done with it.)

- - - - - - - - -

Drew spotted a young woman all by herself and went over to her. "Hi. Could you tell me where the 'R-C' is?" She looked him up and down for a moment, then pressed her lips. "I have a boyfriend," she replied curtly. "No, I—" "Great! So can he tell him where to find the 'R-C?" Drew heard Cliff say from behind him. — Chapter 26

I got this dialogue idea from a thread on Reddit which made me laugh so I saved it and ended up using it. Plus, it's not that hard to imagine Cliff saying something similar to the latter, lol.

Gamerkid11: One time I was lost in my school and went to ask a girl for directions. She immediately responded with "I am taken" like it was a sitcom or something. I eventually found the room. insanetwit: "'I have a boyfriend!" "Ok… Does he know where room 302 is?"

How do you tell if someone is attracted to you or just being very friendly?

I also enjoy looking at these kind of threads because they usually have funny gems like this. And okay, sometimes I want to know if a guy ever liked me at any point in my life. But I'm so hypervigilant due to my emotionally unsafe childhood that I probably don't even need to read threads like this. With just one look I could probably sense how a guy feels about me.

Or maybe not, I mean I do tend to over-analyze things.

And despite being single since puberty, I'm 97% convinced that I'm asexual.

I say 97% and not 100% because I am capable of crushing on handsome guys if they catch my interest (which doesn't happen often), so a part of me wants that romantic kind of companionship, but I'm not crying over being single or not engaging in risky sexual intimacy either.

And that brings us to the next section.

Edit: Being 97% sure that I'm on the asexual spectrum might've been too hasty to say. Like sure, sex is not exactly a high priority for me, especially with the reason stated after this next section, but very low sex-drive might be better suited for me than pure asexual. And we also have to keep in mind that I've never been in any kind of romantic relationship due to my massive trust issues with guys in general (also, I'm not pretty). So I can't really say anything about my feelings toward sexual intimacy with absolute certainty because I have zero experience in that department. There are certain sexual things I know I will never want to do, though. That I feel more sure about.

And demisexual or demiromantic might be a better fit for me since I can only develop a crush on a handsome guy after getting to know a little bit of his personality. So, I'm not someone who crushes on every guy that she sees. I mean, sure, I know an attractive guy when I see one, and I can even admire his looks for a while. But for me, "attractive guy" + (in my eyes) "endearing personality" = ❤. The mushy romantic crush feelings following that tend to last longer compared to just admiring someone based on their looks.

That was my recent former crush, although I can only guess what my feelings would be like if I met him in real life. And he was someone I never thought I would get a crush on for a variety of reasons, mainly him being [cough]younger than me[cough]. But at the same time, I couldn't keep crushing on him forever, especially since the two of us will probably never speak to each other directly. So it just became pointless. And no one can stay in a limbo like that forever. In a situation like that, you either have to do something about it, or stop wasting time. (Technically, I did do something about it. Not that I thought anything would happen as a result of that, but at least I did something. At least I made an effort.)

It's also a little bit of an insecurity thing from me as well because I'd hate to inconvenience him with my social and general anxiety. Like, I get nervous walking on bridges and want someone to hold onto while I walk across them. Also, I can be very strict sometimes and wouldn't let him go one day without cleaning or cooking. We'd have to be a team.

I say this like I'm actually gonna meet him, but I know it's literally impossible, lol. Unless he miraculously likes me back, but even then, that might be a little too lucky for me. Like, I would be so paranoid if that were the case. Not necessarily because of him, though. My thoughts would be, "He likes me? Why??? That wasn't supposed to happen, so what's wrong, Universe? When is the other shoe gonna drop?" At the very least, my creativity was at its highest during the beginning of my crush on him two years ago, so at least I got something good out of it (a whole universe actually, hint hint).

Anyway, I hope this clarifies things a bit.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

Personal Inspirations

This section covers inspirations that I took from my own life.

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Asexuality

As I mentioned in the previous part, I have no real burning desire to be that intimate with anyone. It's not impossible since I've never been in a mutually romantic relationship, but at the same time, I can probably name so many other things I would rather engage in instead.

1. Eating food.

2. Fictional worlds (they have been my home for as long as I can remember).

3. Spending time with people I trust.

4. Being cuddled and/or hugged in a non-sexual way.

So that's why I wanted to include characters like that in the story. There are so many male characters in movies and TV that are "unemotional players" but not all of them are like that. Most of them probably are, but most is not one hundred percent.

And there are four characters on the asexual spectrum in the story.

Here's a hint: One is unaware of it, one admitted it, and the other two are future (as in from now 2023) babies.

Can you guess who they are?

Jack, Theo, Skylar, Audrey.

Did you get it right?

I never talked about Jack's relationships in this story, but I have him down as "demisexual" in my notes. Of course, this is 1969/1970, so doctors and any wife that he will inevitably settle down with (again, 1970s) will probably label his selective sex drive as a problem, which is a shame.

Theo flat-out admitted to Melissa that he was asexual and aromantic in chapter 20. Now I'm definitely not aromantic (What Does Aromantic Mean?) and I don't know anyone who is, but it is related to asexuality.

Skylar never mentioned anything obvious, but he was sitting with Theo at the dining room table while Elias and Arnold were watching that stripper movie in chapter 18. In my notes, I have him down as "homoromantic asexual" because most gay men in movies and TV are allosexual and have sex with the first gay man that they connect with. And yeah, I know I did it in the story too with [spoiler] but that's why variety is important.

And for Audrey, I'm leaning toward "demisexual," but still considers facial attraction important. So she's not gonna love a guy whose face is ugly no matter how much time they spend together.

She and Theo are also "childfree," which brings us to the next part.

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Being Childfree

I am childfree.

Let me write that again.

I AM CHILDFREE.

I don't want to get pregnant (emetophobia and tokophobia).

I don't want to adopt human children.

I just don't want the huge responsibility of raising and caring for children.

Trust me, someone with my emotional issues does not need to take care of vulnerable children. And I've never thought "wow, I hope to be a mom someday."

In fact, before I knew male ejaculation during vaginal sex led to pregnancy (yeah I said it but in real life, I would be too shy), I thought girls could get pregnant by praying (in their head) for a baby.

Yes, the adults told me this.

So I tried my best to never think those thoughts, lol. And I never did since the desire wasn't there, but it really scared me as a kid.

And taking care of any vulnerable creature is risky, but at least with a dog, cat, or any other animal, they won't get traumatized if I roll my eyes or scoff at a mess they made that I now have to clean up. I don't like cleaning up messy situations and I'd hate to traumatize an innocent child because of it.

So no kids for me.

And if you look at my Twitter, this shouldn't be a surprise.

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Not Every Woman Wants Children And/Or Pregnancy

Did anyone pick up on what was happening with Drew's aunt when he was younger?

I never explicitly stated what was going on, but the hints are there.

Any guesses?