#we haven't even seen a single still image from the film

[nicojoe]

objectively deranged that netflix used THE OLD GUARD as a selling point for an unrelated film only to completely ignore its own sequel during their Tudum event.

[ts1989fanatic]

A video stopped me mid-scroll this morning: 'Taylor Swift is pregnant – that is a baby bump!' it declared, along with footage of the singer performing on her Eras tour in a black and red sequin bodysuit. It's not the only similar post doing the rounds on TikTok and Instagram of late, and, erm, sorry... but haven't we all seen these rumours circulate (and die) about TayTay countless times before? Why are there still people who struggle to grasp that it is deeply uncool to comment on a woman's body in this way?

We've heard directly from Swift in her documentary, Miss Americana, just how much she has struggled with disordered eating and body image as a result of unnecessary comments from the public. She also expanded on those comments, during a chat with Variety while promoting the film, specifically addressing pregnancy rumours (which have dogged her since the age of 18; she's now 34 – so almost half of her life then).

"I remember how, when I was 18, that was the first time I was on the cover of a magazine, and the headline was like 'Pregnant at 18?'" the star recalled. "And it was because I had worn something that made my lower stomach look not flat. So I just registered that as a punishment.

"And then I'd walk into a photo shoot and be in the dressing room and somebody who worked at a magazine would say, 'Oh, wow, this is so amazing that you can fit into the sample sizes. Usually we have to make alterations to the dresses, but we can take them right off the runway and put them on you!' And I looked at that as a pat on the head."

Swift then went on to say how this praise/prying relationship the world has had with her body all culminated in unhealthy eating patterns, even leading her to "starve" herself before some shows and over-exercise.

Miss Americana first dropped back in 2020, meaning we've had an entire four years to wrap our heads around the fact it's not even just uncool to run wild with pregnancy rumours, but actively harmful for Swift. As it would be for any other female celebrity (from the royals to actors, I can't think of a single one who has managed to go without having someone zoom in on her abdomen and ask the question 'baby?').

The likes of Kourtney Kardashian Barker and Chrissy Teigen have also spoken out to say how upsetting it is having people suggest you're pregnant, with both having previously said tough it was given they were actually either struggling to conceive at the time or were trying to embrace their postpartum bodies.

So let this be a reminder (and dear God, please can it be the final one?): if you see a video suggesting Taylor Swift, or anyone else who hasn't announced a damn thing, is pregnant – keep scrolling. Don't engage with it. Don't comment on a celebrity's post with bump emojis or nosey questions either. There are literally only two times that it's acceptable to assume a woman is pregnant – when she's told you that she is, or when she's actively in labour.

Now, can we all get back to enjoying the Eras tour for all the right reasons?

ts1989fanatic: louder for the idiots in the back. Anyone think Taylor Swift is dumb enough to get pregnant while in the middle of a world tour, and before the peanut gallery chimes in with accidents happen, please remember this is Taylor Swift here you know THE MASTERMIND

[mirai-e-jump]

Uchusen Vol. 77 (Summer 1996) ft. Choukou Senshi Changerion Cast Members Takashi Hagino x Kazunari Aizawa Double Interview (translations below)

Publication: September 1, 1996

This time, THU invites from, "Choukou Senshi Changerion," Takashi Hagino-san, who plays Akira, and Kazunari Aizawa-san, who plays Hayami. What's the real side of these two that can't be seen from their roles?

"Since this time around it's Akira vs Hayami, We'd like to ask you to introduce each other first. From Aizawa-san's point of view, what kind of person is Hagino-san?"

Hagino: Well, I'm basically the handsome one here.

Aizawa: Hey, hey, hey (laughs). No, he seems to be thinking about what he wants to do, but all around, he's just like Akira. On site, he's cheerful and jokes around alot.

Hagino: That's just another way of getting into the role (laughs). I'm usually pretty gloomy you know.

Aizawa: That's not true. That's more like me (laughs).

"For those of us who watch on TV, we wonder what we'd do if Hagino-san were serious and had the personality of Hayami.....(laughs)."

Hagino: No, actually, I really do, but we have more filming later today, so I'm still in the state of being Akira Suzumura now.

Aizawa: That's right, this is Takashi Hagino. This is how it should be.

Hagino: This is not how it should be, come on (laughs).

"There doesn't seem to be a gap between the age on set and in the show, is there?"

Hagino: Both Akira in the show and I are 23 years old.

Aizawa: That's true, but in our private lives, you feel more like an adult.

"Isn't he popular with women?"

Aizawa: Akira is very popular. He's always so cheerful when he's like that. Everyone's like, "Akira-kun! Akira-kun!," while the feeling I have is, "What about me?" (laughs).

Hagino: This guy's more of a madam killer.* The older women are all over Hayami (laughs). (*slang for a younger man who attracts older married women)

Aizawa: (he bursts out laughing).

"What kind of people do you receive most of your fan letters from?"

Hagino: As expected, alot of them are from women. There's one that came from someone who was more of a single lady than a mom, but she said, "I just happened to turn it on, I'm too old to be this embarrassed, but I watch it every week."

Aizawa: (looking sad) I haven't received any fan letters.

"Eh? You haven't?"

Aizawa: It's true, it's true (laughs). I ask why it's always Akira. Right?

Hagino: (saying seriously) Right…..If you just look at his face, to be quite honest, Hayami's obviously more fearless and incredibly handsome. I'm an up and coming actor (laughs), a face that the world has never seen before. From the very beginning, the staff said that Hayami would be more popular among women. Well, even if they're not here now, I'm sure they'll come in droves sooner or later.

Aizawa: I talked to some people from SEGA the other day, and it seems that Hayami gives off the image of being a scary person.

"On that note, what kind of person is Aizawa-san from your perspective Hagino-san?"

Hagino: Erotic (laughs). He's naughty.

Aizawa: Wa, wait a minute (laughs).

Hagino: He likes women (laughs). That's a lie though (laughs).

Aizawa: That's also a lie.

Hagino: He wanted to play the role of Hayami from the beginning, and since he's just an expansion of what he's already got inside him, I think he essentially has the character of Hayami down. He's both serious and unskilled at certain parts. But, he's basically a kind and cheerful person….he's a nice guy, huh? (laughs). I'm younger than you though (laughs).

"Aizawa-san is 4 years older than you."

Aizawa: That's true, but in my private life, he's always pulling me along. It's the same even when we're on set.

Hagino: (while picking at the katsu lunch that arrived for him) Hayami, do you like green peas?

Aizawa: Yeah.

(a reproduction of episode 9!)

"What was the most memorable episode with an interaction between the two of you?"

Hagino: The first episode that I felt was a good fit for us was episode 4.

Aizawa: In the beginning, we were both alittle awkward, and our characters weren't well defined yet, but, we talked alot during the fourth episode and shared our opinions.

Hagino: Episode 9 was done just as we were getting closer to each other. But, I also wanted to do alittle more in the middle of the episode.

Aizawa: I think it would've been better if the viewers had understood our characters alittle better.

"There was an unusually serious scene in episode 6, "Sorry, Jiro."

Hagino: We shot episodes 5 and 6 together. I had to put more focus into episode 6, so for episode 5, I just went along with things in a clueless state. My favorite of the first 10 episodes was how serious Akira was in episode 7. That was the first time that I got a feel for the serious side of Akira, so I was able to play most of episode 6, especially the second half, as myself.

"There's not many situations where Akira is driven to such a point."

Hagino: Right. This means that I'll stay with this character until the end. Never letting him grow. Every time he pretends to have grown, but then delivers a punch line at the end. That's how I want it to be too. I can't play a role like this unless I'm excited, so it's very rewarding.

"When you were first cast, were there any differences compared to what you imagined the hero would be like?"

Hagino: When I saw the proposal, I thought I wanted to do it. I personally thought that I wasn't suited for a normal hero show and that I couldn't do it, but, when I read the first scenario, I found the character to be very interesting, so there was no difference between the two of us. I wanted to be more like Akira Suzumura by showing parts of myself that I don't normally show.

Aizawa: I wanted to play the role of Hayami from the beginning, as I thought I was suited for the role. However, things started to fall apart around episodes 3 and 4, and I kept asking myself if this was the right role for me, but after 10 episodes, I thought this might be good afterall. I think this role is good for me. I'd never done anything with comedy before.

"What's your most memorable moment?"

Aizawa: For me, it was the scene where we were suspended from the bridge in episode 5. It was painful.

Hagino: I'm genuinely afraid of heights. But, in our roles, Hayami was the scared one and I had to put on a calm face, so it was difficult. Hayami had an unconcerned look while saying, "Lift me higher" (laughs). The scene in front of the door at the end of the episode where Akemi leaves left a strong impression on me. I heard that heroes usually never cry in front of others, so I decided to cry for sure. But, I didn't want it to end in a pathetic way, so I added the line, "Ah, I've got to fix the door," even though it wasn't in the script. Without that, I would've been unmotivated, and I wanted to avoid that. If he were a normal hero, he'd probably just smile and say, "Good luck," and the episode ends. But, I've never done that before, so I'm challenging myself to try doing such things. The next week, when I thought he was lonely, I liked that he gathered all the girls together and played baseball. That's what I am interested in when creating Akira's character.

"What about Aizawa-san?"

Aizawa: I'm always thinking about how to depict my relationship with Akira. In terms of the drama, I'm mainly thinking about my involvement with Akira.

"Finally, please give a message to the readers."

Hagino: Everyone's favorite Akira Suzumura won't die for a year, so please watch the show as you see fit, if you don't, I'll kick your ass (laughs). That's all.

Aizawa: I think Hayami's character will continue to develop, and his interactions with Akira will become more interesting, so please look forward to them.

Hagino: Today I wasn't Takashi Hagino, but Akira Suzumura, so I think I was being kinda rude (laughs).

"No, no (laughs), thank you for today."

[internetanomaly]

September 8th, Day 4/365

Counting down to September 5th 2024.

Two days back – on this blog, I talked about how I've been defining myself by my interests and the media I consume, but weirdly, I haven't actually shared what I'm into. That was pretty much why I started writing the Day 2 entry, but I got clearly sidetracked by other thoughts.

I want to say that I've taken up this digital niche because I lack someone in the real world to talk to about what I enjoy, but that's not true really. There are people, friends in my life who'd gladly listen to me babble about my newfound favorite song. But even though I've been reassured about this before, there's always this nagging fear that they're just listening to me out of pity. I believe enjoyment is personal, and even if someone likes the same stuff as me, even when our interests align, the way they experience it will always be different from mine.

A great example of a personal experience of mine would be the videogame 'Disco Elysium.' I introduced it to a friend, knowing they'd connect with the main character, and so they did. Yet, every time we talk about the game, it's clear that we took pleasure in completely different aspects. The way we decide to elaborate on the messaging and development of the story is vastly different, and it couldn't be any other way.

This will sound like some spiritual, new-age mumbo jumbo, but what i'm really trying to say is that the vibes and sensations we created and experienced during the game are fundamentally different and they never had a chance to be the same. The same movie viewed through someone else's eyes becomes an entirely different experience. By existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted. In this context empathy is limited, it is fundamentally impossible to find someone who truly enjoys something for the same reasons you do. Isn't that sad?

I think this is why I'm so reticent about the things I enjoy with those close to me. Words often fall short in conveying emotion, and the moment you try to explain or show something, the essence inevitably gets diluted.

A few days ago I've started watching 'Dekalog' (1989) by Kiéslowski. It's got quite the reputation for its depth and profound thematic exploration, but if I may voice my skepticism, I'm not entirely sold on the hype. I already spilled my guts in a few Letterboxd reviews, so I won't go into detail here. Overall, I just feel that the stories are surprisingly surface level for how universally acclaimed this is. Maybe that's the very reason it brings enjoyment to so many – there's not much deep thinking required but it's great at hinting at a deepness and nuance that is just not there. This way people can still feel the rush of philosophy without having to put any effort in; Kiéslowski serves his messages up clear and loud, leaving the viewer with the single responsibility of getting exposed to it. I truly do feel like I'm being too harsh with this series of films but my expectations were too high to justify what I saw.

On the polar opposite end of the spectrum, Matsumoto's 'Funeral Parade of Roses' (1969) completely blew me off. I went into it blind and I was so completely took by surprise right at the beginning – when *spoiler* Eddie's shower scene showed that she didn't have breasts I audibly gasped out loud; I literally had an involuntary physical reaction to an image on my laptop screen, I cannot stress enough how impressive that is. From that moment I was completely hooked, I knew this film was going to be a journey of self-exploration for me and it unequivocally delivered. Maybe it's not for everyone, but I would dare to say that it's a masterpiece. Apart from all the technical praise I could give it, what truly stuck with me is that it just made me feel seen. I guess that's simple enough, but it really means a lot to me. Maybe that's why people enjoyed 'Dekalog' too, there's a lot of family themes that I'm sure resonate with people. Once again: by existing in a context our experiences are necessarily subjective and tainted, my empathy is also limited so who am I to judge? What's probably happening is that I just don't get it, I'm certain there has to be beauty in the simplicity of it, I'm just not the person it speaks to.

[cyle]

for the followers i have who love the technical insides of tumblr...

i've been living on tumblr every day with the gifs-as-mp4 change for over a month now and honestly, i didn't even know that change had been made until i stumbled upon it in an internal changelog about it. it's really that good: we only serve GIFs as MP4 when it makes sense. we do, literally, have many thousands of samples of the conversion process to look at (probably a lot more now). even at tumblr's scale, that's tiny, but the experience feels pretty good with the tuning we've done so far.

more specific examples of where it goes wrong will make it even better, so please send them in.

the really hard part about working on something like tumblr is its scale. we serve millions (tens of millions? hundreds?) of GIFs every single day to the internet at large. think about that: how many things in the world get served tens of millions of times? maybe mcdonalds hamburgers?

the effort of making that thing more performant, smaller, faster, "better", is worth it, to a point. finding that balance point is the really, really hard part. because the money doesn't come from nowhere. we've been serving GIFs as WebP for many years now, with nobody noticing (ok, a few people noticed), to huge benefit. you're already not seeing "real" GIFs!!!!! you didn't even notice!!!!!!

the vast majority of GIFs on tumblr (based on our random sampling) are TV- and film-like stuff, like this:

.... which is almost totally imperceptibly different when served as an H264 MP4 versus a literal GIF. by the way, that example is already actually an WebP image, not a GIF. that change literally saves us a lot of money and CPU time and whatnot trying to serve that as an MP4 instead of a 1987 GIF. in fact, if we let you upload that as an h264 mp4 instead of a GIF, it'd probably look better, since Netflix serves that to you as an h264 mp4 originally.

know your formats! the GIFs you're seeing on tumblr probably started as h264 mp4 files!!!!!!

but there are still tons of tumblr artists who use GIFs to their maximum potential (i follow a few), and i haven't seen any change to how we serve their GIFs. usually they exceed our criteria of when we'd try to serve an mp4, so i see their GIF (or webp) instead. i have some hope that we'll create some kind of Tumblr setting to "prefer GIFs" or something, but still, that'll be for the tiny minority of picky tumblr consumers. audiophiles? more on that thought in a second.

it's interesting, though, how we (Tumblr) introduced "data saving" options, which were universally loved, but basically do this same thing: serve images and videos in formats that are better for your bandwidth and CPU, at the likely cost of quality. there's a very large (silent majority) of Tumblr users who actually want this as a default all the time. they prefer a fast, efficient tumblr, over a perfect fidelity tumblr. i would too if i was living in a place with slow internet, which is a lot of the world today.

i don't blame them; i used to spend a week every year at a house that only had 1mbps internet, and the "data saving" options we've added to tumblr really helped me. i literally could not have used tumblr without it. that's a lot of peoples' experience every day.

there's a debate here about creator versus consumer quality, which is wonderful, that's a lot like what audiophiles and film enthusiasts debate about (i'm an active participant in these debates), but ultimately this gets trumped by an argument about what level of quality is discernably acceptable to the consumer. there's a 0.001% bleeding edge of people who can really know quality, definitely. but can you make decisions for a whole platform based on that? maybe. probably not? how is Tidal doing?

anyway, these are the fun thought exercises of someone like me trying to wrap their heads around how Tumblr can improve for the literal millions of people using it every day.

[luendland]

Yu-Gi-Oh? I heard about them but never seen them. I heard great things about their anime, manga and the card games and some...not so nice thing about the card gamers community. What your opinion on it?

Do you have favourite anime? Mine is Bofuri and Ascendance Of A Bookworm so far since I haven't watch that many anime 😅

Another art related questions, how did you determine your art style? I still figuring out how drawing the 'human' ones work for me. Have to say I like the kind of leaves shape that I called 'hair' on my 'humans'

I would like to you more if you don't mind ☺️ I like how our interactions so far and I hope you do too 💙

Oh I had no idea about the gamer community! 😬I watched Yugioh as a kid but was too poor to buy any of the cards. 😅 I suppose the reason I fell in love with Yugioh is the same reason I fall in love with any other shounen anime: if you pour your sincerity and heart and soul into something, things will happen. Sometimes things don’t always work out - life is full of conflict, but with grit and tenacity, and some luck, you can eventually accomplish anything. That’s what I believe, at least. And it’s how I conduct myself (so much so that I said “fuck it”, quit my job in animation in LA, and moved back to my hometown to start my life over)

Ooohh!! Thank you for the anime recommendations! I’ve been out of the anime/manga scene in the recent years, but I’ll need something to fill up the empty void of silence when I finish my current binge of The Golden Girls lol.

My favorite anime, hmm? I’m gonna blend the line between manga and anime for a bit:

Ghost in the Shell: Innocence (film)

Every single damn thing Satoshi Kon made (films)

Red River by Chie Shinohara (manga)

Blade of the Immortal by Hiroyuki Samura (manga)

Real by Takehiko Inoue (manga)

I love so much other stuff, too, but I would say that these works influenced my art the most.

Art style. OH GOD ART STYLE. Sighhhhh, the conversation of art styles is a big one. I’ve struggled with this topic for years so I don’t necessarily have a cute, succinct, witty answer.

My personal journey with my “style” was always toxic. And it’s hard, starting out as an artist, to already have a specific style/voice. You don’t really have the mileage for it. It takes experimentation, failure, problem-solving, and sheer volume of work before you usually find the rhythm in your linework or a sense of shape design that defines you.

But we live in an age where it’s all about branding and image and as students we were all pushed straight from the get go in art school to find our voices ASAP. And I think in that high pressure environment, surrounded by so many different, unique, vibrant voices, I choked.

Even when I left art school and started my first gig in the industry, I didn’t really have a “style”. And that ate away at me. Imposter syndrome is a hell of a beast to battle. No matter what my supervisor said, I didn’t ever believe I was good enough.

But I kept going. As a story artist, I focused on training my gesture drawing, but I always loved oil painting. So I kept both up. I remember driving 3 hours one way to attend an atelier in San Diego to train with these amazing fantasy illustrators every Sunday. They taught me to slow down, to look - it was a different way to observe the world. There are so many veteran artists to learn from, and I did my best to chase them down and learn from them.

If I had to define myself, I would say that I draw like a painter. I’m sure my style will continue to shift as I absorb more and more of the world.

Gosh, this was long, I am so sorry 😬 Also - you do you, boo. If you wanna draw leaf-like hair, do it! Play! Have fun! Keep figuring yourself out. I support you!!

[marlborodean]

here’s my analysis of a 14-yr-old supernatural episode

so remember that episode where sam fucked a werewolf? because he related to her unwilling monstrosity? well that episode is actually just about dean starting to come to grips with his childhood and his sexuality.

if you ship w/ncest do not interact. this post is not anti-sam either btw. 

content warning: discussions of childhood trauma, internalized homophobia, guns, killing. 

does include some images with Image Descriptions following them.

[ID: An over-the-shoulder close-up shot from the episode, focused on Madison, the werewolf, as she cries. Dean is standing behind her. They are both looking at Sam, whose shoulder is on the edge of the frame. End ID.]

Brief episode recap just in case u don’t remember. This ep is 2x17 “Heart.” Sam and Dean are hunting a werewolf. They discover that the woman they interviewed, Madison, is a werewolf (not THEE werewolf, but one of them). Sam develops a lil crush on her <3 I wrote the majority of this after watching it for the first time in almost SIX years, so i was just vibing the whole time UNTIL the last shot changed it all for me. So let me explain!

Three important points that i will refer back to:

1. The episode begins with Dean being excited to hunt a werewolf because "what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids."

2. Then the episode centers on Sam and his relationship with the werewolf woman and his own monstrosity: "[Dean: Sam, she's a monster and you're feeling sorry for her?] Maybe I understand her."

3. BUT THEN the last shot of the episode is of Dean crying as music plays (see below for the specific lyrics) and then Dean jumps at the sound of the gunshot. That's it! That's the end of the episode!

[ID: For all three screencaps, Dean is looking torturously sad. Each one is zoomed a little bit closer to his face than the last. In the last image, Dean sheds a single man tear. The captioned lyrics for the first one say "Relax, child, you were there." The second says "but only didn't realize" and the third says "and you were scared." End ID]

Even though the story is supposed to be about Sam and his monstrosity, and partly about his relationship w/romance since this is the first person he’s slept with since Jess died (at least with what is shown on screen)...the Dean Sandwich tells us otherwise. We're supposed to be taking away something about DEAN here. Like, that's the whole purpose behind the last shot focusing solely on Dean instead of Sam who is AT THAT MOMENT, KILLING THE GIRL HE HAS FEELINGS FOR. It's literally a heartbreaking, devastating, super traumatic thing for Sam to be going through, but instead we're watching Dean as a single tear slides down his face lmao. It's because this episode is about DEAN, and furthering his story.

Let’s not queer this just yet. The death of the werewolf is about/representing his loss of innocence. It's a violent disconnect from his childhood. Point # 1 shows that he is fascinated by werewolves because since he was a kid he thought they were badass, not to mention all the werewolf films he references throughout. Then, through the music lyrics over that last scene, they mirror that theme of childhood. They’ve done this before, having the diegetic music directly reference what the characters are going through. No different here: Dean is the child they’re referring to.

I have to reiterate that that's the last thing we hear before the gunshot cuts the music short and then the cut to black. "You were scared" is the last thing we hear before the gunshot, as Dean cries. ALSO I have to reiterate that Dean was looking forward to killing a werewolf and shooting it himself. So it's super fascinating that, not only is Sam the one that kills the werewolf, WE DON’T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN.

[ID: A medium-close shot of Dean as he looks at Sam, who takes up the right half of the frame. The caption says, “Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it.” End ID.]

Am i gonna have to say this now? The werewolf is a metaphor, okay? It's a metaphor for his innocence, which is long-dead, forever doomed. I mean, a lot of kids love werewolves because they ARE badass! It's a classic monster that anyone could easily obsess over, and with Dean's childhood it must've seemed even cooler, knowing they're real and having the power to kill this "mythical" beast. So the way he's looking forward to killing one is the way a child imagines themselves as a hero.

But what happens instead is a tragic mercy killing. It's flipping his fantasy completely on its head, and it makes Dean realize that.....his fantasies are just fantasies. They aren't real, never would be. There's nothing heroic about killing this werewolf. It's tragic as hell. When he offers to kill her himself, it's just to relieve Sam's burden, but he's reluctant still. Because, as he keeps saying, he doesn't want to be a hunter! He doesn't want this life! He's tired of killing! And that's also what he's mourning as he cries and startles at the gunshot. His fantasies will never be real and his childhood could never have been normal and he never got a chance to be a kid because being a hunter was thrust on him at such a young age. And now it feels inescapable.

[ID: A gif of the slow zoom on Dean’s face as the single tears slips down his cheek. He jumps at the gunshot, then blinks and his lip wobbles. End ID.]

So now we can queer it :-) Of course all monster stories can be easily queered, but werewolves are popularly queered. The first example that comes to mind is An American Werewolf in London (1981) isn’t an overtly queer film (though it is Jewish!) but it’s definitely read that way by a lot of people!! Anyway the film was directed by John Landis which JUST SO HAPPENS to be the pseudonym Dean goes by in this episode. hmm. (Also, interestingly, the BTVS ep where the first gay character comes out references this film too)

[ID: Sam and Dean are standing close to each other. Sam is in the foreground, not in focus. Dean, behind him, says, “Landis. And Detective Dante.” End ID.]

There’s this essay about the queer werewolf that you can read here (and they also talk about fandom in it! very fascinating), where they say in the intro: “the werewolf seems an obvious choice as a queer monster with its identity-disrupting hybridity, as well as its atavistic, and, thus, disallowable sexuality.” A lot like Kristeva’s theory of the abject body! which is popular in queer theory. 

This episode is then queering Sam—his attraction to the werewolf makes him abject—but it also queers Dean thru the way his attitude towards the werewolf transforms (get it?) throughout the ep. His desire and eagerness to kill the werewolves is obviously ingrained in him from John’s parenting. Consider what he said in 2x03 “Bloodlust”: “And the way he raised us, to hate those things—and man, I hate them, I do.” In conjunction with the monsters in the show being seen as queer allegories (the gorgon, as an example of an explicit comparison), Dean’s excitement to kill the werewolf can be read as internalized homophobia and repressing any of his own feelings. 

Remember, though, right before that line in “Bloodlust,” he also said, “What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing?” He’s really beginning to question whether all monsters are bad, and what it means to kill them. Is he also questioning what he believes of queer people? What John believed of queer people? The loss of innocence and queering both slot together through that final shot, imo: he’s crying because he realizes his fantasies aren’t real, but he’s also mourning the fact that he never could have had the chance to grow up without John’s control, and now it’s forever tainted his worldview. What else could he have been without that? (The answer is evident in 4x17 “It’s a Terrible Life.”)

Dean was taught to hate queer people but he doesn't want to. He wants to get out of the life but it feels inescapable. He wants to kill a werewolf and then when he has the chance, he doesn't want to. He actually cries as it's killed. It scares him, having to confront that what he thought he knew was wrong, but he knows all the same that he’ll never have the chance to have grown up without that. 

[yuzhousky]

[HINT][201020] Happy ZZ's 26th birthday from 5mileslove & XIII

1) At 11:30 (JY's birthday) - 5mileslove weibo update

Trans :"We can found it in the night full of stars, I’m sure of it.

Let’s we turn the lantern on (that will shine and guide us in the darkness)."

(Lyrics from the song "Remember Me" of Man With A Mission)

2) XIII Weibo update at 13:13 (one life one life; 13+13=26):

"20201020

Wish

Want to send you a snowflake,

Melting in your palm.

When you are cold,

Hold your hand,

Go to the end of the world.

Want to give you a piece of sunset cloud,

Countless veil of nightfall,

Still can't find it,

Just like my ardent love for you,

The color of expression.

Want to give you a cup of hot tea in the afternoon,

Side by side looking at the sunset.

You smile and say that I am silly,

After so many years,

Still haven't grown up.

Let's make a wish,

Willing to be trees of the same root,

Dancing together in the soil.

May I always stay by your side,

Let love take the lead,

Accompany you,

Until the end of the world.

Even if we're old,

Still tightly hold hands,

Of course the world has seen through,

Live a worthy life,

Descending to the world.

Happy birthday, baby."

(Check-in: Jinhua - Hengdian World Studio. This is where ZZ is currently shooting his new film called "The City of Streamer")

>> The vertical sentence highlighted in red is "Xu Weizhou I love you untill becoming old"

• A fan tried image search on Baidu and found out that the pic XIII posted seems to be taken in Xinjiang where there is summer and winter at the same time. Meanwhile ZZ's studio also updated info about his new single "Welcome to the World" and revealed that the MV was also taken in Tianshan, Xinjiang.

3) ZZ still wore his Tiffany&Co ring even though his collab with the brand has ended already.

>> This ring must mean a lot to him (and Jingyu lol)

[kikyoinuyashashipper]

Anime, is anime. Nothing is gonna be or look as it should. Whether it's a specific anime or anything else, but also this is facts 😂 I wonder what I'd look like if I was a anime character 🤔?

One of The awesome,funny and honestly interesting thing about it.

Things are not always as they seem, they could look one way but be absolutely the opposite and visaversa, not only is this kinda realistic in a wayis, let me exonerate, people are all different whether it be skin color sizes,hair color, personalities and whatnot, there are also those in real life that look older than they actually are, and the same can be said for the opposite, there are people that look younger than they actually are, and as of recently I've noticed the Loli controversy is starting up again, I personally don't really care for loli's that much like I have a crush on one like honey senpai is shouta(male older than he looks because he has child like features opposite of Loli ) I'll just turn myself into a Loli to be with him no big deal, don't get me wrong the Loli and shouta are adorable and really cool at times, but for me when I simp over a character I'm kinda into those like ban 7deadly sins(got them abs😆) but if you show me a image of them "aged up" or more defined and with more mature looking features (abs) that's what I'm into you show me an adorable anime guy like mitsukuni Haninozuka imma be pinching cheeks and snuggles, and eating cake, and stealing a kiss or 2 that's, now I've seen mitsukuni with more mature features/having puberty/growth spurt hitting him hard and I simp, and this is me with preference I guess you can say, I like anime abs, I don't mind a guy that's cute and chubby tho because I can just imagine them with abs and I simp, and without abs I'm also a person who admires a great personality not just the body, like Viktor from Yuri on ice I haven't seen it yet but I at least know his name but he's adorable chubby and smoking when he loses the weight 🤤🔥❤️.

And no matter what age they originally are, I'm not going to be thinking about that, I'll be thinking of me and that character I like regardless, if the character is younger ,then I'm younger and we will hold hands, and get ice cream, puppy love, if we are older still holding hands, and getting ice cream and throw in the romantic aspect, such as dates marriage, having intercourse, having kids,a future, growing old together,then dying and going to heaven together yeah I can imagine that as well, I can change them older or younger or myself older or younger because it is fiction and a fantasy and there is no reality, it can be whatever I want in the fantasy if I imagine a age difference since imma girl and their the boy if I'm older I automatically think of omgoodness he's in love with his senpai, or his best friends mom, or his babysitter, or with the older single lady who helped him once when he was little who he spent time with over time having fun, like going to the park talking about videogames,or other normal everyday stuff, who he grew a crush on over time and feels it turned into something more when he got older, her thinking of him as a child until he matured/legal age out of school already and he made moves on her showing he wanted to be anything but a child with her,her not accepting his feelings,yet over time he grows on her and her feelings change and decides to give him a chance, then they get married and live happily ever after, same thing if it's the opposite way. How a character looks despite age depends on the creator as in most cases age isn't important for the moral or for the telling of the story. Now for definitions, Loli has 2 definitions and both go for this word. Loli is a female child, that's one definition now here's the 2nd definition as well Loli also means a adult or person of legal age who has the attributes, features, or characteristics of a child while being anything but that.

Shouta is the opposite of Loli its a male child/ a adult who has the attributes/features/characteristics of a child but is anything but that.

In real life I have been mistaken as a child/minor I've been told I looked 12 or 16 very rarely ever got an answer above those ages highest I got was 20 something. When I got called 12 I was a 17 (turning 18 after graduation) senior in highschool, even the freshman thought I was one of them. Now I'm 19 gonna be 20 soon and am out of school and was called a 16 yr old by a 17 year old girl still in highschool.

I guess I could be defined as a Loli when I'm anything but a child.

Yet I'm also well endowed on my upper half of my body and have back pain because of it, in other words I got a pair of tits, and was called a hentai girl, by other people who liked manga and anime as well, even though I was called a child by others. So I have in body mature features (defined by a person or two as a hentai body),by my face I'm a Loli and look like a child(also defined by a person or two as younger than I am) when I'm a adult. So I'mma Loli hentai girl in the real world? No idea, but wait I can't define myself by fictional standards? correct. so imma human being who looks younger than they are.

Imma tag everyone I can.

This can actually go for all aspects of animation not just anime, Princess's are from 14+ snow white was 14 fun fact there, wouldn't really be able to tell. Age difference is in everything, and I still enjoy snow white it's actually one of my favorite Disney films before and after I even knew this information, and I honestly have no problem with it, mostly because for that time it's considered normal, and I was a kid and just saw a princess movie, I didn't think that their ages were relevant to the story/stories. Besides sleeping beauties 16 got spindle pricked on a spinning wheel and fell into a deep sleep, Wich was going to be death but was changed. In the original sleeping beauty, she was put to sleep for 100years as was her kingdom, the kingdom was covered in brambles/thorns (rose thorns to be specific but they didn't bloom because they were enchanted and used for defense to make sure the spell couldn't be broken), and each time someone thought to go near, or try to save the kingdom to free it's people the ground would break open underneath them swallowing them up, right where the brambles/thorns started at the end of the kingdom, so even if they managed to get past the area where the earth broke the enchanted thorns (rose thorns) would rip them to shreds, with their blood and bodies fertilizing the ground and the thorns would grow. This happened for many years until everyone forgot about it, then finally 100 years had passed and the roses finally bloomed, a prince was coming through and had heard of the kingdom and of the many who lost their lives trying to enter and was going to explore and see if he can find a way in, to see the beauty that was rumoured to live there. When he arrives the Thorn's were in bloom and the ground didn't break but allowed him to pass, the thorns actually even made way for him to go through. When he got into the kingdom he saw everything and everyone fast asleep noone had aged a day, then he explored and discovered the princess and this is where it gets kinda dark compared to Disney's version. So rape trigger warning don't read unless you want and can handle it.

..................................................................................

The prince saw the beauty and instead of doing true loves kiss to break the spell, he raped her multiple times and then he left and never returned. Beauty then became pregnant while still asleep, she had twins, and as they wriggled around searching to breastfeed one of them caught onto her finger with the spindle splinter in her finger, it sucked on her finger and managed to get the splinter out, Wich then awoke the princess and the rest of the kingdom, who was a very confused princess, and now a new mother with no idea who "prince charming" was. And that's actually the original telling of sleeping beauty, there are other versions that are less dark,but this is the original as far as I know and the oldest I could find that was in English.

[princessnijireiki]

this girl I go to school with wrote an entire piece defending johnny d*pp and now his PR team is reaching out to her and it’s just all blowing up across sm and I haven’t been able to talk to anyone in my life about how frustrating it is to me to see ppl bend over backwards for this man

I feel for you but it may just make you feel better to know that that is like... FUCKING batshit & completely off the wall for them to be doing, literally even if that girl published her defense of him in a nationwide magazine or something, literally even if she's a journalistic "name" a layperson would recognize (I know, all the really credentialed people are covering REAL news right now, but for sake of pretending lol). and I can't blame the PR team, they're doing their jobs, and tbh as long as depp or his agents/management still have the money to pay them + he keeps imploding his social & professional life, they'll be in business a loooooong time.

but holy shit, the lengths they're having to go to to raaaake the barren fields of public opinion for a single credible-sounding turnip of defensibility from an author who doesn't come across as desperate to do a line of coke off that man's dick means it's clearly not easy money by a long shot.

add onto that the recent news that favors mads mikkelson for depp's harry potter replacement... depp filmed only one scene, but has a pay-or-play contract, so wb choosing to recast in and of itself is not even just, "I'd rather pay you to go away than deal with your personal shit," but, "you are such a professional LIABILITY that paying you a full salary, finding someone new to pay a full salary to, and postponing our ROI on a harry potter film for at least a full year, during covid, still puts us financially AHEAD so long as we don't have to mention you in press, promotion, or credits ever again moving forward."

and then additionally, you have the fact that like. okay. they could've gotten colin farrell back, right? but even though he's also under contract at wb, he's doing the batman. and while wb accommodated ezra miller doing fantastic beasts and justice league reshoots at the same time when whedon took over from snyder. depp's departure is so much more of a clusterfuck in advance, more of a clusterfuck than joss whedon, the snyder cut, everything, that I haven't even seen any buzz to suggest they'd consider disrupting another wb project to bail this one out the way they've literally done before, even though it could protect that hp continuity... they would rather pull a terrence howard to don cheadle complete clean break than let depp fuck with two movies to save his face.

all of which is to say. the extent to which he is FUCKED right now is genuinely hilarious because it is truly all his fault. and his PR people aren't miracle workers, so the fact that they're stuck on damage control vs image rehabilitation means he is also unwilling to "lose," even though rich white men have mastered the art of failing upward... depp would rather condemn himself to angry, drunken, BROKE obscurity while unfortunate employees somewhere are tasked with googling fan blogs, than lift a single finger to pull himself out of the hole he dug & now sits in the bottom of.

he could pull himself back into enough of the right people's good graces with a few well-placed social dobby pussy "indulgences" & enough public performances of remorse, but depp would rather drink his way through his cash & sue his ex-wife for hers to try to get a cut of that aquaman money & punish her for leaving him, and for shaming him in the process, when he was the one who wouldn't let her leave or live in peace.

and in a true, classic abuser move, depp would ultimately rather destroy his own life in the vain hopes of taking a much younger woman he couldn't intimidate, possess, and control down with him; metaphorically continuing to smear his own blood on glass & screaming "look what you made me do" even while more of his friends and allies turn away than rightfully abandoned joe exotic, and who, god willing, will leave him to face the brink alone, until he re-evaluates who he will choose to be as a person when he realizes he will never get to live out his fucked up fantasy of degradation and revenge, and that he is no one's tragic hero.

[something-tofightfor]

Did you stop writing for Ben? You haven't posted anything for him in a while but are still writing other things.

Hi, anon.  No I haven’t stopped writing for Ben, but I am taking a break. I wrote exclusively for Ben and Ben Barnes characters from December of 2018 to January 2021.  That’s a long time. And I put out close to two million words of fic in that span of time... for one actor.

And to be completely honest, over the last few months, my interest in Ben’s work has dropped significantly. I used to log in and see a bunch of him on my dash (pictures and videos) ... and now I don’t. Why? 

Because nearly every single thing that is posted for him is tagged as “shadow and bone” or “the darkling” or “sirius black” .... even though the images or whatever have nothing to do with those things (especially because ben WAS NEVER SIRIUS BLACK) - and those (along with others pertaining to him) are tags I have blocked.  I have no interest in Shadow and Bone. I’m going to attempt to watch it, but all of the early reviews have been suspiciously positive and when paired with what they’ve shown so far - heavily edited images, overprocessed and colorized trailers, pedictable dialogue, the cast and crew going above and beyon to explain EVERYTHING with a positive spin - it doesn’t fit. There is something off about it. The show is not for me. I understand that. I tried. I just do not care about it - especially after seeing what it’s done to the Ben fandom on here and on twitter. 

He is not just a fucking piece of eye candy, and to be completely honest, the wave of super young fans that are latching onto him because of this role makes me very uncomfortable. (Wanna know what I’m talking about? Take a look at his tagged IG posts and look at all of the young girls tagging pictures of themselves with his name, or posting about how he should be their daddy. It’s fucking gross.) But this is literally all he has in the pipeline. He hasn’t done anything but audiobooks (that we know of) since March 2020, and if they’re going to make more seasons of Shadow and Bone... that’s going to lock him down pretty effectively since they film in Hungary. Essentially, I have nothing to look forward to when it comes to Ben. I love Ryan and Billy and Logan and Benjamin and Caspian and Sam. (And of course, John.) I always will. 

But if this is the direction his career is going? I don’t know where that leaves the people that long for the days where he gets to make content for adults. I’mtoo old to slog through YA fiction adaptations.  I have stories in the works - more of Just a Place. Liminality. Continiung the story of Billy x Reader from He’s Not Here... Logan’s HCtS weddings.... Seasons to Cycles and finally fucking getting rid of Ariella, a CONCLUSION to Ransom’s William storyline ... Reader going to visit Benjamin in London.  But I’m not in the right headspace to write them right now, because I’m bored.  And you can tell when a writer loses interest. You can tell when someone doesn’t care what they put on a page or within a chapter. You can tell when someone is writing just to write and to post for interaction and attention. I’ve seen it in published books, and I’ve seen it on here numerous times. TWO of my FAVORITE stories on here felt like that to me, and I hated reading them because it made me too sad. 

I will not be that person. I won’t rush through my stories just to finish them. I won’t put something that I’m not proud of out there for people to read. And right now, that means me taking a step away from Ben and his characters to write for a different fandom and another actor that I enjoy.  I know a lot of you followed me for Ben content. I know that you probably don’t care about Pedro Pascal. That’s fine. Unfollow if you need to, but I’m just taking a break - I’m not done writing for Ben, I just need some time.  I’ve actually got roughly 10,000 words spread over a couple stories (Logan, Ryan, Billy) that I’ve written in the last few weeks, so it’s happening....just slowly.  Magnetic is taking over my life, and I won’t apologize for it. I’m having a  ton of fun writing for Space Dad and his tiny green son. Starlight has been a really nice distraction too - and the Ezra NSFW alphabet is something that I’m very proud of.  This is really long and probably unnecessary, but I’ve been thinking about posting it for a while. 

TL;DR: I’m not done writing for Ben, it’s just gonna be a minute until the Shadow and Bone hype dies down.  

Please feel free to keep sending me messages and stuff like  that to talk about him or about my stories - that’s perfectly fine. It might even help my motivation. But also, please don’t hound me over when I’m going to get back to X or Y story - because your guess is as good as mine.  Thank you for reading, and thank you for asking this, Anon. It’s probably not the answer you wanted, but it’s the one you’e getting.