#we need model!jenson

[ham1lton]

jenson has such a face for hollywood, that man could have been a MOVIESTAR

this is the face of a man who was born to be on a shitty 2000s comedy-drama tv show that lasts like twelve seasons.

[taasgirl]

summer samba - oscar piastri

summary: jenson button's daughter, y/n, is very well known around the paddock, and when her dad loses a bet, she finds herself spending more time in the mclaren garage

a/n: no face claim, imagine y/n as you wish. also i know jenson is only 44, but imagine he's older for the sake of this fic - and that y/n is 22

liked by danielricciardo, pierregasly, and 43, 218 others ynbutton fernando pls win this weekend, i have a bet with my dad

fernandoalo_oficial I will try just for you liked by ynbutton

user50 y/n is so inconic

landonorris Okayyyyyy fit

ynbutton okurrrrr

danielricciardo No bet on me winning?

ynbutton i'll bet on u next week i promise

user82 Her dad is Jenson Button and she gets to be best friends with the drivers Y/N I WANT YOUR LIFEEE

liked by oscarpiastri, ynbutton, and 153, 982 others jackdoohan FP1 in Canada LFGGGGG tagged: alpinef1team & ynbutton

ynbutton LETS FUCKING GOOOOO

jackdoohan WOOOOOO

user66 are they dating?

user82 Nah just friends I think

danielricciardo My son 👨‍🍼 liked by jackdoohan

user92 You're so fine jack pls i need u

user42 jack and y/n would be such a cute couple

user90 ya'll say this about every driver y/n interacts with

liked by ynbutton, astonmartinf1, and 2, 822, 397 others f1 HE'S DONE IT! FERNANDO ALONSO WINS HIS FIRST GRAND PRIX SINCE 2013! tagged: fernandoalo_oficial & astonmartinf1

user63 THE ROOKIE HAS DONE IT AGAINNNNN

user98 best rookie oat ngl

ynbutton YES YES YES EAT SHIT @ jensonbutton

user82 Y/n really loves her bets huh

jensonbutton @ user82 She does unfortunately.

astonmartinf1 💚🤍

user98 alonso dominance could bore fans

liked by f1, ynbutton, and 128, 985 others jensonbutton So happy for you @ fernandoalo_oficial, I never once doubted you for a second.

ynbutton yes you did. u called me ridiculous for betting on him p1

jensonbutton Don't expose me

user98 So what do you owe Y/N?

jensonbutton $300 and Mclaren Paddock passes apparently

fernandoalo_oficial Y/N told me about the bet, extra motivation 🤣 liked by jensonbutton

liked by landonorris, mclaren, and 1, 288, 763 others oscarpiastri Disappointed that I couldn't get more points for the team, but there's plenty to learn and grow from. Congratulations @ fernandoalo_oficial, proud of you brother 👊

mclaren We keep pushing 🧡

ynbutton head up osc! i'll be cheering you on next race

oscarpiastri Thanks y/n 🩷

user77 @ oscarpiastri okay why are we lowkey robbed on y/n x op81 content

fernandoalo_oficial ♥️

view ynbutton's story...

liked by lewishamilton, georgerussell63, and 47, 229 others ynbutton Montreal I love uuuuuu #eatshitdad tagged: georgerussell63, jensonbutton & roscoelovescoco

lewishamilton I think you spend more time with Roscoe than with me...

ynbutton what can i say 🤷 roscoe's cuter than u

user69 Y/N AND GEORGE YES I HAVENT SEEN THEM IN SO LONG!!

user92 ur dad is beekeeping age

jensonbutton What does this mean?

oscarpiastri Looking good y/n

user98 wait lowkey i want them together

view ynbutton's story...

liked by mclaren, oscarpiastri, and 62, 879 others ynbutton thanks for the passes @ jensonbutton tagged: mclaren

mclaren Let's get you in some papaya liked by ynbutton

oscarpiastri Modelling in front of the right garage 👌👌

ynbutton i'll be cheering you on!!

landonorris Hmmmm

user93 someone decode this rn

user33 AHHH UR SO PRETTYYY

user25 wyd if i say that y/n and oscar SHOULD be a couple??

landonorris Throwing up I think

liked by mclaren, ynbutton, and 2, 365, 873 others landonorris Stuck in third all week (P3 in quali, the race and now I'm a third wheel) tagged: mclaren, oscarpiastri, ynbutton

mclaren Yeah but you're our favourite third 🧡

user03 admin this could mean MANY things

oscarpiastri You've been with me all week??

landonorris Uh huh, and the girl you won't shut up about

user59 why u so fine

user83 Not lando exposing oscar 😭

user97 OH MY GOD YNOSCAR TRUTHERS RISEEE

user34 Who are you third wheeling?

liked by user55, user87, and 23, 877 others user49 any else noticed that ever since the montreal gp, oscar has like really made an effort to befriend fernando, jack, and liam... who all coincidentally are VERY close with y/n button. just saying 😏

landonorris oscar u ain't slick

user65 OH MY GOD LANDO WHATTATTATA

user44 lando commenting is all the proof i need

user59 somebody sedate me i need a ynoscar interaction

user98 Lando pls play matchmaker xx

user87 OSCAR JUST ASK HER OUT OMD

liked by jackdoohan, landonorris, and 54, 120 others ynbutton oh yeah babyyyy

jensonbutton Who is that Y/N?

ynbutton don't worry about it dad 🤫

user87 woah normal y/n post BOOM SOFT LAUNCH

liamlawson30 Another photo dump I don't make smh

ynbutton shushhhh

user11 oscar perhaps

landonorris Who is that sexy man

ynbutton that's a daniel ricciardo plush toy. landonorris ynbutton Oh shut up

user64 y/n is such vibes i love her

liked by jackdoohan, ynbutton, and 1, 473, 861 others oscarpiastri YEAH BABYYYYY P22222

landonorris Wettt

user92 excuse me

mclaren Proud of you Oscar 🫂

user48 PRETTY MUCH THE SAME CAPTION AS Y/N AHHH

ynbutton p22222 out of 20 cars is rlly bad sorry babes x

oscarpiastri No you're lying nooooo

user81 oh he's defos posted this as a thirst trap for y/n liked by oscarpiastri

view ynbutton's story...

caption: ya'll do i keep him

view oscarpiastri's story...

caption: I think she likes them 💐

liked by landonorris, liamlawson30, and 1, 290, 822 others oscarpiastri She said that I lose aura points if I admit that I had a crush on her for over four years??? tagged: ynbutton

landonorris FOUR YEARS? it's worse than I thought

ynbutton he willingly bought that shirt btw!

oscarpiastri Would you rather I take it off? ynbutton oscarpiastri you know what i rather 😉

jackdoohan And to think that you actually wanted to be my friend liked by oscarpiastri

jensonbutton I knew it @ fernandoalo_oficial pay up

ynbutton YOU BETTED ON THIS??? fernandoalo_oficial ynbutton We bet on everything

liked by jackdoohan, oscarpiastri, and 81, 844 others ynbutton do i lose aura points if i admit that the only reason i wanted mclaren paddock passes was to see my crush of five years 😢

landonorris FIVE YEARS?? IT DOES GET WORSE

oscarpiastri Yes you do

ynbutton shut up

user93 YNOSCAR GIRLES WE UPPP

liamlawson30 SO YOU FINALLY ADMIT THAT YOU LIKED HIM FOR THAT LONG I FUCKING KNEW IT

ynbutton i WILL attack you liam

oscarpiastri She also bought this shirt willingly

user22 i just want what they have

hey guys!! let me know if you liked this hehe. WHO'S EXCITED FOR THE EUROS EEEE?? anyways thank you all so much for your support, my reqs are open so feel free to drop anything in there :)

[propertyofwicked]

FAKING AN INTEREST

f1 grid x platonic!reader (implied landoxreader) smau

based on this request! (this may need a pt 2 honestly)

warnings: none, just men having the audacity

masterlist the playlist

⭑･ﾟﾟ･*:༅｡.｡༅:*ﾟ:*:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

-----------

yourusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, oscarpiastri, and 21,223 others

yourusername what the fuck is a DRS?

view all 9,211 comments

danielricciardo what he say fuck me for?

⤷ yourusername hi! im free may 28 if you want to hangout may 28 lmk im not doing anything may 28 please msg me if ur available may 28 so we could maybe hangout or do something may 28 !!

⤷ danielricciardo ill clear my schedule - what day did u say u were free?

⤷ username1 mad about being labelled as a fake f1 fan only to turn around and flirt with the drivers? is she fr?

⤷ yourusername get a job, touch grass?

username2 how does she know them im so confused

⤷ username3 she went to school with oscar i think?

logansargeant will you stop posting the worst pictures of me?

⤷ yourusername say please?

⤷ logansargeant please y/n im begging

⤷ yourusername start using the metric system and i'll consider it.

lilymhe come back to williams i miss u

⤷ yourusername can i bring lilyzneimer? 🥺

⤷ lilymhe omg yes!! lily-ception

⤷ oscarpiastri @/yourusername dont take my girlfriend to enemy territory tf?

⤷ logansargeant enemy? ☹️

yourusername made a new post!

liked by lilyzneimer, oscarpiastri, and 34,502 others

yourusername congrats on driving fast bestie

tagged: oscarpiastri, lilyzneimer, jensonbutton

view all 7,210 comments

username4 jenson button? what are you doing here?

⤷ yourusername forming a danica patrick hate club

⤷ yourusername we're discussing gentle parenting tactics for logan <3

⤷ logansargeant is this why jenson keeps telling me that sharing is caring??

⤷ jensonbutton in my defence i told her it wouldn't work 🤷

⤷ yourusername we'll see about that - alex_albon do you feel cared for?

⤷ alex_albon im staying out of this.

oscarpiastri thank you y/n!

⤷ yourusername so proud of u bestie

⤷ oscarpiastri i already paid for dinner you can stop pretending to be nice now

⤷ yourusername brb faking an interest in our friendship rn

⤷ username10 she's never letting that comment go fr

username7 their friendship confuses me but im so here for it

username8 oscar paid? who's shocked

⤷ username9 not me!

⤷ username10 not me!

⤷ yourusername me tbf he usually forgets his wallet

⤷ oscarpiastri i leave it on purpose, actually

⤷ yourusername gold digger 🫵

username8 she literally only goes to the races so that she can post about it on ig and pretend she knows what's going on

logansargeant you never congratulate me :(

⤷ yourusername tf u want me to congratulate u for? brushing your teeth?

⤷ logansargeant no one else will :(

username6 where did u find that picture of oscar?

⤷ yourusername wdym find? i took it loool

yourusername made a new post!

liked by logansargeant, lilymhe and 7,893 others

yourusername glorified uber drivers

tagged: logansargeant, alex_albon

view all 1,235 comments

logansargeant best biscuits ever

⤷ username5 biscuits?? that wasn't very wtf is a kilometer of you

⤷ yourusername one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧

⤷ landonorris one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧

⤷ alex_albon one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧 one of us! 🇬🇧

⤷ logansargeant oh! so this is hell!

landonorris cute! don't do it again!

⤷ yourusername i snapped the head off yours hoping it was a voodoo doll.

⤷ username3 do they hate each other or..?

⤷ yourusername yes.

⤷ landonorris cancelling our lunch plans

⤷ yourusername i was kidding pls dont im so hungry

⤷ username4 lunch plans? y'all seeing this???

username6 the picture of logan im dead

⤷ yourusername he was modelling for his cookie design

lilymhe i want the alex one

⤷ yourusername boxed it up just for u <3

⤷ yourusername alex said he'd give it to u later

⤷ alex_albon i lied. i ate it. no regrets.

yourusername made a new post!

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 24,789 others

yourusername lando norris fakes an interest in the menu

tagged: landonorris, oscarpiastri

view all 1,432 comments

username5 y/n out here living our dream </3

⤷ username6 god i have seen what you've done for others 🙏

⤷ yourusername lando eats chicken nuggets with a fork you can have him

⤷ landonorris this is defamation, my lawyers will be in contact.

landonorris in my defence, that place was FANCY and i wanted to pretend i wasn’t about to order chicken nuggets and chips

⤷ yourusername fancy?? oscar literally ordered a cheeseburger??

⤷ oscarpiastri dont expose me like that y/n

⤷ logansargeant one of us! 🇺🇸🦅 one of us! 🇺🇸🦅

⤷ yourusername it's not funny when u do it <3

logansargeant you never want to go to lunch with me :(

⤷ username7 logan try not to get jealous challenge - hard

⤷ yourusername i literally had brunch with you like yesterday?

⤷ logansargeant ok and?

username11 she is never gonna let that comment go is she. we get it, you know f1.

⤷ yourusername why should i?

⤷ username11 it wasnt that deep

⤷ yourusername why should i give david coulthard the platform to perpetuate negative commentary on women in motorsport?

⤷ yourusername why do we keep allowing men to talk down to women with genuine interests instead of providing them with opportunities to excel in the field?

⤷ username2 say it louder for the people in the back queen

username1 lando looks so fineeeee

⤷ yourusername too bad he sucks at chess

⤷ landonorris you cheated!

lilymhe u look so sexy let me take u out 🫢

⤷ yourusername only if ur paying 🫢

⤷ lilymhe we’ll put it on alex’s card

⤷ yourusername sounds good

⤷ alex_albon do i have a say in this?

⤷ lilymhe no.

⤷ yourusername no.

⤷ landonorris no.

⤷ oscarpiastri no.

yourusername made a new post!

liked by lilymhe, logansargeant and 31,245 others

yourusername y/n l/n fakes an interest in getting her degree 🍾🥂

tagged: ybfusername, youruniversity

view all 2,103 comments

landonorris that caption isn't even a lie 🤐

⤷ yourusername sorry cant hear you over the sound of me being a graduate

⤷ landonorris did you not literally spend the last year asking if you’d “finish this degree or if it would finish you” ??

⤷ yourusername i literally have a piece of paper that says i finished it

⤷ landonorris talk to me when you get a trophy

⤷ yourusername ok mr won one race now thinks hes the shit

⤷ username4 gagged.

landonorris but fr, congratulations y/n! proud of you always!

⤷ username4 always huh? im smelling soft launch

⤷ username9 go back to bed grandma

oscarpiastri congrats on reading and writing stuff bestie!

⤷ yourusername thanks king! <3

username6 intelligent queen we loveee

username6 suck on that david coulthard.

⤷ yourusername he better be sleeping with one eye open

⤷ username11 got a degree and now thinks she's better than a literal racing legend

⤷ yourusername dude do u like need a hug or something? if i didn't know any better id think you were in love with me

username2 shes so unserious i love her

lilyzneimer congratulations gorgeous!

⤷ yourusername congratulations to you too lil <3

⤷ username3 hot girls get degrees 🤷 i don't make the rules

⤷ lilyzneimer still cant believe the girl that used to sleep in biology graduated university

⤷ yourusername me neither tbf

⤷ oscarpiastri same.

⤷ yourusername no one asked u vroom vroom

username13 what was your dissertation on?

⤷ yourusername net-zero carbon development in race mechanisms and engineering !

⤷ username13 oh you SMART smart

⤷ landonorris debatable

logansargeant well done! does this mean no more highlighters abandoned on the floor of williams hospitality?

⤷ alex_albon please say yes 🙏

⤷ yourusername but watching you trip over them was so funny 😟

ybfusername those 3am library trips finally paid off! 🙏

⤷ yourusername jet lagged delirium and caffeine i will miss u

⤷ ybfusername im so proud of us

lilymhe graduate, baker, sexiest woman alive - is there anything you cant do?

⤷ yourusername have a genuine interest in motorsport 🤷

⤷ lilymhe wait till they find out you fake an interest in golf too 💀

⤷ yourusername im only there to see u bbygirl

yourusername made a new post!

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 24,789 others

yourusername here to watch my friends drive fast cars.

tagged: lilymhe, landonorris

view all 703 comments

landonorris well, some of us drive fast cars

⤷ alex_albon what are you trying to say?

⤷ landonorris speak up a bit i cant hear you from the podium

username8 lando? yn?

⤷ username8 i feel like im interupting something

⤷ username4 can we let them just be friends and not ruin this pls

lilymhe oh we are so back

⤷ yourusername and we’re never leaving! <3

⤷ alex_albon oh god

⤷ logansargeant please no

⤷ yourusername fine, ill leave 😟

mclaren hope to see you in our garage soon y/n!

⤷ yourusername i have always looked good in papaya

⤷ username8 admin how much did lando pay u to say that?

⤷ mclaren 🤫

oscarpiastri williams take her back she keeps slapping my hat across the room

logansargeant you literally told me you're only here to get max’s autograph and sell it on ebay?

⤷ yourusername ok and?

⤷ maxverstappen1 poster or hat?

⤷ yourusername both please 🫶

⤷ maxverstappen1 bring a pen

⤷ username7 what have i just read?

⤷ maxverstappen1 im supporting y/n's financial endeavours?

[drvscarlett]

The Tortured Drivers' Department

— combining another one of my favorites. I'll be taking notes and writing fics about which TTPD song do I associate with the drivers ( + I will be including the retired ones). This is the main list and I'll be linking them when I finished writing them. Let me know if you wanna be tagged

Also give TTPD a listen. Its so beautiful and a masterpiece

Fortnight

— i love you, its ruining my life (Lewis Hamilton x Mercedes!reader)

The Tortured Poets Department 

— At dinner you take my ring off my middle finger and put it on the one people put wedding rings on. And that's the closest I've come to my heart exploding (Pierre Gasly x ex!reader)

My Boy Only Breaks His Favorite Toys 

— 'Cause he took me out of my box, stole my tortured heart left all these broken parts (Lando Norris x reader)

Down Bad

— Fuck it if I can't have him (Charles Leclerc x kpop idol!reader)

So Long, London

— You swore that you loved me, but where were the clues? (George Russell x secret girlfriend! reader)

But Daddy I Love Him

— "I'm having his baby" No, I'm not, but you should see your faces (Alex Albon x Horner!reader)

Fresh Out the Slammer

— Now, pretty baby, I'm runnin' back home to you (Esteban Ocon x childhood bestfriend!reader)

Florida!!! (feat. Florence + the Machine) 

—I need to forget, so take me to Florida (Logan Sargeant x heiress!reader)

Guilty as Sin?

—What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind? (Oscar Piastri x bestfriend!reader)

Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me?

— I was tame, I was gentle till the circus life made me mean (Nico Rosberg x Lewis Hamilton)

I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

— they shake their heads, saying, "God help her" when I tell 'em he's my man (Daniel Ricciardo x longtime girlfriend!reader)

loml

— Oh, what a valiant roar. What a bland goodbye. The coward claimed he was a lion (Max Verstappen x childhood sweetheart!reader)

I Can Do It With a Broken Heart 

— Lights, camera, bitch, smile (Zhou Guanyu x model!reader)

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

— And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive (Yuki Tsunoda x Actress!reader)

The Alchemy

—'Cause the sign on your heart said it's still reserved for me (Kimi Räikkönen x assistant!reader)

Clara Bow

— This town is fake, but you're the real thing (Sebastian Vettel x Ferrari heir!reader)

The Black Dog

— I am someone who, until recent events you shared your secrets with (Mick Schumacher x driver!reader

imgonnagetyouback

— I'm an Aston Martin that you steered straight into the ditch (Fernando Alonso x wife!reader)

The Albatross

— She's the albatross, she is here to destroy you (Jenson Button x revenger!reader)

Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus

—So if I sell my apartment and you have some kids with an internet starlet. Will that make your memory fade from this scarlet maroon? (Carlos Sainz x Vasseur!reader)

How Did It End?

— The deflation of our dreaming leaving me bereft and reeling (Logan Sargeant x Oscar Piastri)

So High School

—You knew what you wanted, and, boy, you got her (Charles Leclerc x reader ft Max Verstappen x childhood friend!reader)

I Hate It Here

—I hate it here so I will go to secret gardens in my mind (Kimi Räikkönen x interviewer! reader)

thanK you aIMee

— And then she wrote headlines in the local paper laughing at each baby step I'd take (Mark Webber x reader)

I Look in People’s Windows

—What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time (Sebastian Vettel x reader)

The Prophecy

—Don't want money, just someone who wants my company (Pierre Gasly x politician's daughter!reader)

Cassandra

—So they killed Cassandra first cause she feared the worst (Lewis Hamilton x wife!reader)

Peter

— Forgive me, Peter, please know that I tried to hold onto the days when you were mine (Lando Norris x reader)

The Bolter

— "Oh, we must stop meeting like this" (Max Verstappen x hollywood starlet!reader)

Robin

— You have no room in your dreams for regrets (Oscar Piastri x girlfriend!reader)

The Manuscript

—One last souvenir from my trip to your shores. Now and then I re-read the manuscript. But the story isn't mine anymore (Carlos Sainz x McLaren employee!reader)

[whorekneecentral]

A Sandy Christmas

Sugar Daddy!Jenson Button x Fem!Reader

Warnings: the iconic sugar daddy JB, college aged reader (over 20), expensive vacations, gift giving is his love language, you're both soooo all up on each other, the use of daddy both in a sexual and non sexual context, thanking him in good way ;), oral (m!receiving), penetrative sex (p in v), hair pulling, some old man teasing at the end.

Word Count: 1,714

Author's Note: this is for my og jenson girlies that were here from the start, dedicated to the anon that sent in the first sd!jb ask cause you started all of this pookie!!

merry smutmas series

--

Jenson takes you on a dream vacation over the holidays but still makes sure you’ve got a gift to open come Christmas morning.

Exam season is killing you, mentally and physically.

Every bone in your body hurt from being hunched over at your desk for 18 hours a day and your brain felt like it was going to explode if you kept it up for much longer.

Jenson knew as much and he also knew your exam schedule; he couldn't bear to see his girl like that so he did the one thing he did best.

He whisked you away the moment your final exam was over. He knew it'd be a welcomed distraction given that you'd be returning home for the new years; your obnoxious sister was getting married to her high school sweetheart - you'd rather fall down the stairs than attend the wedding but Jenson promised to take you in to trade your car for a new one if you went.

To be fair, he did just get you the car 2 years ago but he figured he needed some sort of reward to get you to go. If he could join you at the wedding, he would but alas he can't.

Sunny Bora Bora was a welcomed distraction; the sunshine, the beaches, the endless cocktails and cock, were keeping you happy.

The first few days were you and Jenson rolling around in bed, lazing and eating whenever, barely getting dressed and spending sun up to sun down on the beach. You had everything you needed right there.

Despite it just being you and Jenson, he rented a whole villa. All the privacy in the world for you two; it was more so, so he could fuck you anywhere he liked but I digress.

Christmas morning and you're woken not by the sunshine but the feeling of Jenson's stubble on your neck.

"Merry Christmas, pretty girl."

You hum, a hand on his jaw. "Merry Christmas, Jense."

"C'mon, I have something to show you." He whispers in your ear, not giving you a moment to gather yourself. Instead he pulls you out of bed, his hand in yours as you sleepily follow him though the villa.

There's a massive Christmas tree by the windows, right in the middle but that was there when you arrived. What wasn't there before were all the gifts surrounding the tree.

"Jenson," you stop, looking at him. There's a grin on his face. "You didn't."

"I couldn't let Christmas pass without giving you a gift." He smiles, kissing your temple as he sits on the couch.

"We agreed that this trip was my Christmas gift."

"But the trip is for me too, so it can't count. Loophole baby," he raises his eyebrows, almost as high as his ego. You huff, "this is more than a gift, Jenson."

"You're a good girl, I'd buy you the world if I could." He tells you, smiling as you kiss him.

"I don't need the world, Jenson." You tell him, sitting in front of the tree. There are at least 20 bags and boxes neatly wrapped and set under the tree.

"I'd still buy it for you, princess." He smiles, taking a sip of his coffee as you unwrapped your gifts one by one; Gucci, Prada, Van Clef, Louis Vuitton - you name it, it was under the tree.

You had no idea how you'd get it all back home.

You thank him, doing a little try on haul as you unwrap the gifts. Jenson smiles, sitting comfortable as he watches you model your gifts for him.

"Happy?" He asks, patting his thigh. You sit yourself on his lap, an arm over his shoulder as you lean into him.

"Beyond happy," you whispered against his lips. "Thank you daddy."

"Anything for you, baby."

The two of you go about your day, you'll be leaving your little paradise tomorrow and returning to reality so you were trying to soak up the last of the sunshine. Lazing by the water, you watched as Jenson attempted to surf, gave up and decided on a swim instead, the man came back to kiss you, dripping the sea water all over you.

You push him away, giggling as he tries to grab at you. You rolled away, getting up and running from him; Jenson chased you down the beach right back to the villa.

Jenson planned dinner for the two of you, a little restaurant not too far from your villa. You wined and dined, chatting about his work and your plans not to strangle your sister with her veil. He assured you that you'd be fine and that as soon as the wedding was over, you could return home to him.

Upon returning, you decide to pack. This way you two could spend more time in bed in the morning rather than having to rush and pack then.

Jenson's back is to you as you bring in the last of your presents from the living room. He'd manage to fold what you had brought with you into the one suitcase opposed to the two it was in originally and had been trying to fix your gifts into the empty one.

He feels your arm wrap around his waist, fingers drumming against his midriff as you watch him put the boxes into the suitcase.

You're on your tiptoes, a kiss pressed to his jaw; Jenson thinks it's innocent enough and yet, he feels your lips drop lower. From his jaw to his neck and your fingers are pulling at his shirt collar, trying to expose more skin.

"Sweetheart," he whispers, swatting away your wandering hands. "We need to pack."

"Mhm hm," you turn him to face you, your hand on his jaw when you kiss him. Jenson leans on the edge of the bed, his arms wrapping around your waist, pulling you into him

He was easy like that, a kiss from you and he's like putty in your hands.

He watches as your fingers trail down the front of his shirt, sliding under the hem of it. Jenson takes that as his hint to take it off, tossing it on the floor somewhere. Your hand wanders further down, brushing over the cold metal of his belt. 

Jenson smiles, pecking your lips softly. "Let me thank you," you whispered against his lips. His brows furrow, "what for?"

"Everything," you tell him, sinking down onto your knees in front of him.

Jenson undoes his belt and the button, “open.” 

Without hesitation, your mouth opens and you’re looking up at him once again. He slaps your tongue with his cock softly, waiting for a reaction. The slight curve of your lips was enough for him to know it was okay. A hand tangled in your hair, pulling and pushing you, setting the pace. 

The stifled gag was enough for him to pull back, giving you a moment to catch your breath. 

His eyes fixed on you as your lips wrap around his cock, his chest dropping and raising with each breath.

He can’t help but notice the lipstick on the base of his cock, your head bobbing up and down. Jenson's hand pulls your hair away from your face, letting you set the pace.

His hand turns over and you feel his knuckles brush along your cheek. “Like being on your knees for me, hm? My good girl.” 

The praise hits you straight in the core, only making you go faster. Your cheeks hollow as you bob your head up and down. Jenson's hips buck, your nose brushing against him. 

His head falls back against the couch, breathing out a string of explicits as you hollow your cheeks. “C’mere.” He pulls you off him slowly, savouring the feeling of your tongue sliding up the underside of his cock.

You kiss him, the moan slipping from your lips as he manhandles you.

“Turn around,” he whispers against your lips, a hand on your hip as he turns you around to face the bed. 

Your arms are propped on the mattress, holding yourself up. He pushes your dress up, bunching over your hips. His hand slips between your thighs, fingers brushing over your panties and your head drops forward. 

Panties pushed to the side and Jenson reached forward, a hand tangled in your hair to pull you up, forcing you to look at the reflection in the window. His other hand holds your hip once he pushes into you. 

“See,” he mumbles to himself, glancing down between the two of you before his eyes meet yours in the reflection. “Look how pretty you are,” he whispers, kissing along the back of your shoulder as his hips dig into your ass. 

The knot in your stomach tightens when his hand on your hip slips down between your legs, reaching for your clit. He barely moves his fingers before your own hand reaches down to rest on his. The feeling of his fingers pulls your attention.

"Please daddy-" you're cut off by a moan and by Jenson pushing you down onto the bed.

You prop yourself up on your forearms once again, eyes fixed on anything but what he was doing. 

He could feel you clenching around him, pushing back into him for more.

“Shh, it’s okay baby, I know.” He tells you, thrusts getting sloppier by the second.

The two of you in sync, Jenson's chest pressed to your back as you came down from your orgasm. He peppered kisses all over your back, rubbing your side softly. He leans to press a kiss to your neck before pulling out slowly. 

You can feel Jenson wiping your thighs and between your legs, cleaning you up before fixing your dress. You're still facedown in the mattress, too fucked out to even think about moving at the moment. He senses as much, giving you a push by the ass and up onto the bed you went.

The clink of his belt comes from behind you, the man fixing his pants - you assumed he'd be joining you in bed but instead, you heard some sort of shuffling behind you.

Rolling you, you see that Jenson had resumed his packing from before.

"You know," you start, sitting up. "Most men your age are dead to the world after a fuck like that."

Jenson laughs, walking over to you. His hand cups your jaw, "I'm not like most guys my age."

--

taglist:  @nosugarallspice @evieepepi08 @mimithepooh @koufaxx @dannyramirezwife-simpaccount @topguncultleader @molliemoo3 @aisharmi @mamako23 @ac3may @lewislcver @miahgonzalez16 @books-and-netflix-pls @wibi96 @bwddermilch @pedrisgatorade @clarasenchant @sainzluvrr // @forza55 @norrisleclercf1 @allalngthewtchtower @therealcap @burningcupcakefire @stargirl36 @brettlorenzi3 @guiseppetsunoda @magnummagnussen @flippingmyshit @savrose129 @lovelytsunoda @irda12-blog @dhhdhsiavdhaj @slytheringirlthatkillpeople @f1lovers22 @toomuchdelusion @eviethetheatrefreak @faye2029 @lillians-world-is-f1 @chalando1604 @lenaxwbr @im-obsessed @potashiuhm @lcxlerc16 @enjoythebutterflies3 @lillyfootballsworld @micksmidnights @mashtonbunny @chrlsleclerc @logischeroktopus

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

it girl wag era

daniel ricciardo x f!reader

i think i'm gonna make this a series???? but idk how???

fc: mainly lucy boynton

warnings: swearing, i said 'overestimated' at one point and i meant 'underestimated', kym illman

liked by pierregasly, and 18,865 others

f1wagupdates: y/n l/n on the late late show with james corden in early 2016, months before she reportedly met daniel ricciardo at the austrian gp in 2016. the interview has begun recirculating after daniel revealed dm's that the two had been in contact for two years before they 'met' for the first time.

do we think her cryptic clues could have been a hint to the actress having a crush on daniel himself, or another driver on the 2016 grid at the time?

view all comments

user1: forget the confusion, i'm impressed she didn't succumb to corden's ridiculous peer pressure smh

user2: fr 'i hope i'm not overstepping' and then he tries to literally pry the info out of her hands

user3: 'SO IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, WHAT'S THE HARM IN TELLING?'

user4: also you can't convince me her 'dignity' and 'reputation' wasn't code for 'i don't want to talk about it'

user5: could you imagine if she was talking about jenson button 💀

user6: idk i think 'i'm a big fan of you' ruins that theory, i can't see it being anyone but daniel

user7: i'm so jealous of her if they started dating in 2016 because danny's curly mullet era was MOUTH-WATERING

user8: there were 24 drivers on the 2016 grid and from that 24 around 1/2 could be candidates

user9: can daniel ricciardo fight? i hope he can't

user10: 'he drives fast and he looks good doing it' miss y/n did NOT lie

user11: just thinking if she got this flustered and nervous about her crush on him to the point where she couldn't actually tell anyone who it was, then how did it go when she met him in 2016???

user12: why is nobody talking about how flirty those messages were? 'are you bribing me?' and 'is it working?' THEY CLEARLY LIKED EACH OTHER

user13: the man literally couldn't find her in the paddock and HAD to introduce himself he was clearly down BAADDDD

liked by 71,196 others

f1wagupdates: monaco gp or The Monaco Incident™️ Anniversary (TV*)?

**Tame Version

view all comments

user14: we want unhinged version

user15: the one time i decide to go on twitter on the night of the 2018 Monaco GP, it descends into chaos

user16: daniel half dressed outside a club with y/n over his shoulder giggling and still holding a glass of alcohol will never not make me laugh

user17: the morning after pics hit different now you know they'd been dating for years already

user18: daniel ricciardo is one dirty mf using his shoey mouth to snog y/n later in the night

user19: the fact that it was the first time we'd seen y/n in clothes that weren't classy and ironed

user20: idc if she never comments on it but in my head those clothes were pulled from the depths of danny's wardrobe

user21: the way this moment impacted f1 from then was astronomical

user22: i've never seen 2 celebs to openly all over each other

user23: whatever you do don't google timothee and eiza ok 👍👍 promise me i need you to do that

user24: i remember the way tabloids were all over her for this about not being a good role model 😭😭

user25: the bisexual hold this series of events had on me at the innocent age of 12

[deedah]

Protocol Chapter 6

⚠️!WARNING!⚠️— This Fanfic is very lengthy and lazy at times! Do not read if you dislike lengthy Fanfics! (Also a lot of fluff so BE WARNED!) 

Please read Chapters 1-5 before this one to understand what is happening

Have a great ride!

Chapter 6

[L]= True]

    L grabbed a cup from the sink as they wrapped a damp-ish washcloth around the wine glass and dried the water off of the cup before tossing it up in the air and watching it spin before catching it and sitting it down on another towel upside down. She looked up to her right to see her brother pick up the cup and use a step-ladder to put it in the cupboards. On L’s other side, to see Max washing the dishes.

    “Soo.. why did you bring 3, most likely have rabies, animals into the house?” L asked Max as the 12 year old human kept on washing dishes.

    “Because they're cute..?” Max replied as she looked up and smiled with her eyes closed. “You know JC Jenson is trying to make all dogs immortal, why not all cats and birds?” She asked as she waved her hands around dramatically.

    A tiny bit of soap landed on L’s visor. Her visor started to glitch as she gave Max the ‘are you serious..?’ look she could give someone.

    “L,” L’s brother said as they turned around to face him on her other side. “You're not waterproof.” He wiped the water off of L’s screen with a towel. Soon she resetted a part of her glitching code, rolled her white eyes, and went back to drying the dishes that Max had now stopped washing. 

    “And you,” he pointed to Max, “need to stop waving your hands in the air with soap on them.” 

    “Sorry D, and L” Max said as she put another cup on the counter for L to dry. D was really only a babysitter to Max, at least, that was the reason that Max’s parents gave C and L when they got him. Though he was an older model than L and C, he treated them like his little sisters, so they called him their older brother. Though, he would rather be called Max’s ‘bodyguard’ (he thinks it sounds more menacing).

    “You're fine, Max.” D started, “but hurry and get these dishes done. Your parents told us to finish them before they got home”

    Max looked up with a stubborn look, “but they won’t be home for another..” she looked at the clock to read the time, “2 hours. We have time, chill” she grabbed the last cup in the sink, washed it, and flipped it in the air as it landed on the towel as it waited for L to dry it. 

    L noticed after she picked up the last cup to dry it, that C was nowhere to be found. (Or the animals).

    “Hey Max,” L said as she looked up the stairs, “Have you seen C?”

    Max’s white eyes looked confused, she turned to D who just shrugged and started to climb the step stool. “She might be with the animals up in my room, or on her charger. No clue, but as long as she’s not scheming something like putting glue on the bottoms of my shoes so I trip when I get ready for school!” Max yelled as she splashed the water in the sink when she slammed her hands down and she stared at L. She was mad for a second before she started to laugh and wipe her hands off with a towel.

    “Haheahehah..” Max laughed as she rolled her sweatshirt down, “seriously, don’t do that again..” 

    L rolled their eyes playfully as Max lightly punched their arm. 

    “Oh, Max,” D said, “I ironed your dress for tonight. It’s in your parents room.” D wiped off the extra water off the counter with a towel. He then grabbed all the towels and walked out of the kitchen and headed to the washing room.

    “I’ll go put on my dress,” Max said as she headed towards her parents room, but before going in, she turned towards L, “why not go check on C. She’s been in my room for a while now. Thanks!” She disappeared behind a door frame.

    Now L was alone. Now, she sometimes likes to be alone, but other times she would like some company even if the company didn’t want her.

    L walked up the stairs as they held onto the railing. Her suit stretched as she lifted her leg one after another. Once she finally got upstairs, she walked towards their room and lifted her fist to knock on the door. But, her sensors picked up a voice that wasn’t C’s. 

    “You’ll see me in the near future,” the voice said, “and you’ll see N and Uzi in the further future.” L decided that she was just going to barge into the room so they couldn’t prepare to hide from her.

    L opened the door to see what was going on, but it seemed normal. C was holding the cat in her lap as it slept, and the dog and bird were chasing each other. “Oh..” L said as C turned her head round to face her with a confused look. 

    “Yes L?” C asked. The cat looked up at L, but it had its eyes squinted. L looked at the two other animals. Their eyes were also squinted. Though L could see that the cat's eyes were a green-ish, the dog’s were..gold..? And the bird’s was… purple!?

    What is wrong with these animals, geez.. L thought as she started to speak. “Just came to check on you,” L said as she closed the door. L stood there with a discombobulated look on her face as she thought about what just happened.

    She snapped out of her trace when she heard the front door open quickly then slammed shut. Before she went down the stairs, she heard the voice again from the room. 

    “Shoot! More humans!” But this time the voice was different, it was female, just didn’t sound like the first one.

    “What do we do!” A male voice called out.

    “Uh!” The first female voice yelled, “C! Throw us out the window!!”

    “Bite me!” The second female voice yelled at the first voice. “I’ll fly out the window! I’m a fricken bird!”

    “Won’t that kill you!?” L recognize that voice, that belonged to C. Either C had amazing vocal ranges, or the animals could talk.. And both choices had very small chances. 

    “We’ll be fine! Toss us!” The first voice called out as she yelled out one last time before simultaneously being thrown out the window.

    “Come on N!” The second female voice said as she must have flown out the window as well.

    “Man you're heavy, Doggo..!” C strained as she must have been trying to pick up the dog. She heaved a sigh of relief when the dog started to yell. 

    Don’t question it L.. shes probably playing..? L thought as she walked down the stairs. She walked into the kitchen where Max’s parents, Max, herself, and D were. They walked beside D who was beside Max as they began to listen to what Miss. River and Mr. River had to say.

    “Max, get your suitcases together and pack everything you can fit in there, honey” Miss. River said with a sad look on her face. 

    “Mom! Just tell me what’s happening! Why do I have to pack my suitcases!?” Max yelled at her parents.

    L leaned over and looked at D with hollow eyes. He shook his head and looked at the Rivers.

    “Sweet pie, we will explain. Let’s just get your stuff together.” Mr. River said as he held his shadowed hand out. 

    Max swatted at his hand and started to demand, “No! Tell me what's going on! Where are we going!?” 

    Miss. and Mr. River looked at eachother with deep and sad eyes before Miss. River started to talk.

    “It’s more like.. where you're going..” she said as she kept explaining. “We are sending you to an exoplanet. The company has made many escape pods for people because they have detected a dangerous AI on earth, a zombie drone to put it, but they just don’t know where.

    “They made one for us, but.. we have decided to stay and send you instead.. you may take your drones with you, one of our friends' family will look after you until you're 16 and can work for the company. They will give you a house and supply you with food and clothes.”

    Mr. River turned towards D, “You will still be her babysi-“ 

    “Bodyguard. She needs me now more than ever..” D stated. Mr. River nodded his head.

    Max leaned into her parents as they wrapped their shadowed arms around each other in a tight embrace. 

    L saw C standing in front of the stairs with a bewildered look on her face and tears in her eyes. D lowered his head in respect and L.. L’s vision started to glitch. 

    Everything kept glitching as the glitch turned purple then a teal color. 

    L was in darkness for a second before booting her vision up again.

    L was now in a pod with D, C, and Max. Max was looking out of a window, crying and waving to her parents as they stood behind glass and a control table. A guy through the radio started to count down from 10. Once he said 1, the pod took off upwards and sent L, C, D, and Max to their brand new home..

    Gold-5..

    L gasped and jumped as she awoke violently from her sleep. As she kept breathing fast, she looked around to see where they were. Once she noticed they were in Uzi’s room, she started to calm down.

    “Wow” a voice said from above, “it was that bad? Glad I didn’t go in then,” 

    L got onto her knees as she looked up to see V sitting on the bed with N laying on her shoulder. L also noticed that V most likely put pillows under L, C, and Wren while they were in her and C’s memories. 

    L shuddered, I didn’t want to remember that pod moment.. she thought as V held out a can of oil. L jumped as she noticed that V wanted her to take the cup. 

    L took the cup even though she didn’t need to drink oil unlike V, N Uzi, and Wren. V gave L a slightly sympathetic look before patting the bed.

    L noticed that V wanted them to sit beside her, so L stood up, switched out her hand for claws, yanked the hacking device off of her head, and sat beside V.

    They took a sip of oil as they looked at V. “He fell on my shoulder when I sat on the bed, no comments..” V stated, “You gonna be ok drinking that?” V asked L, “I heard that you don’t need oil, but you looked like you might want to try it.” V smiled as she took another sip out of the red can. She leaned back as she chugged the rest of the oil. N’s head and body fell into V’s lap. The contact must have scared V a little because she jumped as she lifted her other arm above N.

    “Aw..” L said as N just layed there unconscious as he must have still been in the memories, and V started to rub his hair as she took off his hat and set it beside her, “He’s kinda cute when he’s asleep. I see why Uzi likes him.” L said as she took another sip of the hot oil. V was right, L did need something warm to soften her anxiety right then.

   L looked over at V who was covering her visor. L pulled down an arm thinking she was overheating. Oh! L thought as she saw blush lines on V’s visor.

    “This um..” L started as V looked at them with the blush fading, “might be a little personal, and if it is you're allowed to punch me. But.. Do you like him?”

    And with that, V blushed harder as she turned away, punched L in the arm, and turned her head down to look at him. 

    She shook her head slowly, “I can’t..” she mumbled.

    “Sorry?” L asked.

    “I.. can’t..” V looked at L with tears in her eyes.

                              [Next Chapter Comes Out When It’s Ready] = True]

(Just a few more chapters @biscuits-and-such and @roxy4life.. then, y’all come..)

Chapter 1

chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

[kritischetheologie]

Hi C. Will you please feed my poor Jenson-starved heart and talk a little bit about your delicious Jenson characterizations in such masterpieces as Caught Your Reflection in the Mirror and the URBP? I notice that you often make him an asshole which is very evil/praiseworthy of you

Hello hello! First of all if you are missing Jenson may I recommend this incredible sebson fic that just got posted in the kinkmeme. God bless the anon who posted it.

Characterization notes for toxic fuckboy Jenson below the cut.

So, the obvious thing those two fics have in common is that they're a/b/o. Most of the time (I think I'm the Weight is more or less an exception), when I'm writing an a/b/o fic, one of the things I'm thinking about is gender.

Caught My Reflection in the Mirror is about, it has been said, Mark Webber's Gender Envy. Jenson is everything Mark thinks the world wants him to be, or everything he wishes he could be, or everything he wishes he could have, all rolled into one: he's a champion, and a playboy, and he's fucking Seb in just about the worst way possible. It's not the bruises that make it unbearable for Mark, but the realization that Jenson only fucks Seb when Jenson beats him. Insofar as Seb and Jenson have a Terrible Straight Relationship from which Mark rescues him through the Magic Of Queer Sex (fisting), what makes that relationship terrible and straight imho is the way it has no room for Seb to win, to be better than Jenson. The thought that Seb might have lost on purpose in Canada, because he felt the need to diminish himself in that way to appease Jenson, is the thing that finally compels Mark to intervene.

I have said before that this fic is the queerest fic I've written; in the non-a/b/o version of this fic, Mark is some flavor of transmasc, probably nonbinary if you made me choose, (and bisexual, and terrified of what attraction to men would mean from a gender perspective), and Seb is female. And Mark rescues Seb from a Terrible Straight Relationship through the Magic of Queer Sex. I don't know if that version is better, but I couldn't have written it; you need sunglasses to look at an eclipse.

Jenson is still the personification of the patriarchy in the URBP (sorry, somebody had to be!) but in a less pressing way, since he's not involved in any of the romances. I've joked that his role in that fic is to be sleazy and deliver exposition; I gave him some of Mark's complexes from Caught My Reflection, but turned the overcompensation up to 11. Having the most toxically masculine person in the whole thing be a beta allowed me to de-naturalize the roles and the bodies, to some extent. Nico's struggling against an omegaphobic system, but it's not just the alphas buying into it, you know?

Ok, so that's all the gender theory, but... why Jenson?

I wrote a lot of the URBP before I wrote Caught My Reflection, and I drew on Jenson and Nico's history, especially Jenson being the one to really popularize the Britney nickname. I drew on his life in general, actually. One of the things I think a lot about [sorry for this tangent] is the way the drivers' IRL love lives impact the way we write them as blorbos. I've mentioned my frustration about this with Seb to several people; a Seb who is magically fanfiction-single would not have learned to care for others, etc., in the same way Seb the husband and father has (see also: Seb citing his kids as the reason he cares about the environment). That's neither here nor there, but I think Jenson is someone for whom his real romantic choices, from the wild youth in his memoir to the multiple models he's married, colors the way I write him as a blorbo. He's kind of a James Hunt type, and that can be very fun, but also means that when you're already thinking about the patriarchy, he's ready at hand to represent it. Contrast someone like Valtteri, for example. Which one of these men would you imagine leaving space for his partner to succeed?

Obviously I don't know his life and this is not commentary on his actual relationships. It's just a vibe. Everything I'm writing is fiction. But I think that's why, when I write him as a villain, I write him as that particular type of villain.

[billyrussohaven]

Into my Web

Chapter 1

Billy Russo x Female Reader

Cowritten with @the-cult-of-russo

Ratings: Explicit 18+ ONLY

Warnings: Although this chapter might not include it, this fic will include; Sexual situations, swearing, human slave, vampires, biting, blood, obsessive thoughts, dub con, stockholm syndrome, gaslighting.

A/N: This has been sitting around for a few months. Well almost a year honestly. Life happened and we never really got to wrap it up with a pretty bow finish...But we worked so hard on it, we didn't want it to never be read or enjoyed. So I will be posting this story because I have fond memories of it. I hope you guys will enjoy it, we sure did have a lot of fun writing this.

Masterlist | Buy me a coffee



“Come out, sweetheart! I know you're here!” Billy called out with a predatory smirk. It was a dangerous one, one that said despite a smile he was feeling quite a fair bit of rage. He loved the chase, he couldn't deny that. But he was getting a little sick of this now. No matter how long the girl had been with him, how many times he punished her for disobeying him, it seemed she wouldn't learn. It was pretty fucking irritating.

Human servants and toys were a common thing in the underbelly of the vampire world. They were illegal of course but it didn't mean he didn't know how to get one. The black market was rife with vampire activity and he had a good friend that told him where to find one. He hadn't really ever desired a human servant or toy. Humans were food. Why the hell would he want one to accompany him everywhere and keep her alive? But after visiting his friend, seeing his harem of humans and just how obedient they were, how much they did for his friend, he couldn't say he wasn't intrigued. He had always been a jealous type, it was just in his nature. When he saw his friend happy and being served like he was, he wanted that for himself. So his friend had told him just where to go. He didn't need a harem. He didn't have a problem with getting girls to sleep with him so he wasn't too fussed about that. But one little obedient human who obeyed his every whim sounded fucking fabulous. He’d been pretty bored lately so it seemed like fun. 

The big mansion was out of the way, in the middle of nowhere in Nevada and full of girls. According to the vampire that ran the place, Jenson, they all went through strict training. Those unable to keep a high standard were just used as blood bags. He'd been given a list with names and prices and one of them stood out to him because they were a lot cheaper than the others, it intrigued him a little. He couldn't help but wonder why. Then when the girls who were ready, the ones whose training had successfully been completed came in, you stood out to him once again. He hadn't known you were the one with the low price right away but you stuck out like a sore thumb.

All the girls were in short silky white nightgowns, no doubt to make them more appealing. Billy couldn't lie, it worked. But you caught his eye. Most of the other girls seemed to follow a pattern. Drop-dead gorgeous, the overly gorgeous type, very tanned and most of them blonde and ridiculously tall. Their faces all practically looked the same. Girls who could have been models or something. They were tall, had ample cleavage but were stick-thin everywhere else. He'd been with that type many times and honestly, he'd grown bored of it. You were the only exception and it piqued his interest once more. You were shorter than the others, not following the same pattern of the other girls and didn't look the same. Not too big, not too small. You looked a lot meeker than the others too, something about the aura around you. Overall, it made you look more vulnerable. Made you look weaker. Easier to break. It intrigued him.

The man stepped next to each one and told Billy their names. Their eyes had to be directed at the floor until their names were picked and then they had to look at him. He had grown impatient and bored as the man made his way through the line of the boring girls, his eyes glued on you. Then the man uttered your name and you looked at Billy. Your eyes made him stare at you for a moment. The other girls paled in comparison to you and he was unsure why you were so cheap. Maybe the market was into the other style of girl more but Billy was bored of that. You were something unique and it was exactly why he had ended up buying you. 

He had seen the fear in your eyes as he stepped towards you, he'd wondered if this was the first time someone had expressed interest in you. If the market really was geared towards the other type of women then maybe you had thought no one would buy you. Jenson had looked almost shocked too as Billy stopped right in front of you. You lowered your eyes immediately and he wasn't sure if that was part of your training or if you were just scared. He could hear your heart thumping wildly in your chest so he knew you were frightened. You should have been. He had put his finger under your chin, tilting your face to look at him. Your eyes snapped back up to his then and he understood it was your training. You were to avert your eyes unless instructed otherwise. He wouldn't have minded but your eyes were beautiful. 

When he had said he wished to buy you, the other vampire had looked shocked, telling him that he could find someone more to his taste if he required. Billy had been a little offended at that as if the man had told him he didn't have good taste in women. Sure the other girls were pretty, but it was more general beauty, nothing like you. You were more like a dark beauty. Not one that would have been on the catwalk but something more hauntingly beautiful. Exactly why he wanted you as his new toy. His pretty little doll. He had been informed that you were a good worker though, how you were only here because your father had given you to them to repay a debt. None of them had expected you to get through training, thinking you would be a mere meal. But to everyone's surprise, you were the hardest working there. This pleased Billy greatly. He knew he had made the right choice with every word he heard.

You'd been very fearful of him when he took you home to his place in the middle of nowhere in Upstate New York, as you should have been. You would tremble terribly just being near him and any time he stroked your hair or cheek you would flinch and squeak, no doubt wanting to run and scream but you kept it in. Part of him enjoyed your fear, the natural predator coming out in him, but the other part wanted you to get used to his touch. You would have to get used to it since he planned on doing it more. He never forced himself on a woman, never had to, which was why he planned to break you just enough so you would be begging for him. It had been just over a year now though and your relationship was a strange one.

You were a hard worker, Jenson hadn't been wrong. But at least once a month you would suddenly become hysterical and try to escape. Those were the times he would punish you. He had used his compulsion to find out your fears. Darkness and claustrophobia. So after your first escape attempt, he locked you in a tiny dark closet. He had actually felt a twinge of remorse when he heard you banging on the door as you sobbed helplessly begging for mercy. He hated feeling anything so he forced himself to go out and leave you so he didn't have to put up with your useless crying. You shouldn't have disobeyed him. He could be good to you if you just behaved. He hadn't returned until the next day and when he opened the closet you were laying in the fetal position. Your eyes were open but vacant and you didn't respond to him at all. He had worried for a moment he may have broken you too much and cursed himself. You were far too pretty to break completely just yet, he thought he might have ruined the fun for himself. 

He had been nice to you that day. Bought you all the foods he knew you loved since he'd compelled you to tell him everything about yourself. He wasn't sure why he had done that, he was just curious about you. But he was pleasant that day, holding you and telling you that he didn't like treating you that way, you just had to behave. You seemed to seek out his comfort in those moments he was very nice to you and he found himself enjoying it. Having you letting him hold you that way, the calm and peace. But after just over a week it was back to normal and you would be fearful of him again until you found enough courage to escape again. Around in circles you went.

It had irritated him to no avail when you kept trying to escape, not understanding what was wrong with you. Surely you knew he would catch you? You knew what would happen yet you still took that risk. But as the months passed by, he seemed to grow accustomed to you running away and sometimes found himself enjoying it, loving the chase. His house was in the middle of nowhere and surrounded by woodland, it wasn't like you would come across any help here. After a few months, he had lessened his punishment to just the closet with the light on, fearing he would shatter your mind completely if he kept it up and then he would have no fun at all. In a way, he admired your spirit. Every time he would punish you, you would seem broken for a few days but then you seemed to glue yourself together. He liked to think he had a hand in that with being so nice to you afterwards. It was a mind game of course. Showing you he could be nice if you just obeyed him. He didn't enjoy any of it. Holding you, inhaling your sweet scent. No, of course not. He was lying to himself and he knew he was. He did enjoy it. He found himself enjoying your company. The longer you were there, the more you relaxed and you had even had a few laughs together. It had been odd for him. It seemed so...normal sometimes. But deep inside of him he just wanted to be accepted, to be loved, as much as he hated to admit it. And in those moments when he had broken you he was able to mold you however he wanted, just for those few days. Sometimes you'd watch movies together whilst you sat in his lap. You would talk about a lot of things. It was strange. He found it cathartic, soothing even. He never knew having a new toy would bring him this feeling but he was glad to have you. You were serving him well.

He hadn't slept with you yet. Not that he didn't want to. No other woman seemed to compare with your beauty in his eyes. He was a monster, but he certainly wasn't that type of monster and he wouldn't take you against your will. Anytime he stroked your cheek and looked at you with that hunger in his eyes, you would start to shake, so he never went any further. He knew he could have easily slept with you when you were broken but he knew you would never forgive him when you came back to your senses. For some reason, that felt oddly unpleasant so he hadn't. He’d kept himself busy with other women to keep him satisfied that way. 

He never fed from you either. He wasn't really sure why but he just hadn't. He had always gone out to hunt and keep himself well-fed. Maybe he didn't trust himself not to drain you, he wasn't sure, but strangely enough, he hadn't ever tasted your blood. He'd even put you on suppressants so you didn't have periods anymore.

He knew your blood tasted sweet because he had smelt it. He had been in a rage for something or another and trashed the living room. When you went about trying to clean up after him, you ended up cutting yourself on a broken vase. The smell hit him immediately. It smelt divine, more enticing than he'd ever experienced. He knew when he looked at you that his face had changed because you'd gasped and fell back on your ass and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights. Your rapidly beating heart betraying your fear. It only made you more appealing to the predator inside of him. He wanted nothing more than to go and drain you dry but the look of utter fear felt like someone smacked some sense into him. You were his toy, he doubted he would find another so interesting so it was best you stayed alive. He didn't feel like being bored again. He had fled from the room fast to go and find someone else who could satisfy his needs. 

It had been hours later he returned, full but not really satisfied. After smelling your blood, no one else seemed to quell the craving he had. But he was back in control for now. Much to his horror when he got back he noticed the door was unlocked, he cursed himself for leaving in such a hurry and not locking it, sure you were gone. He was surprised when he opened the door and you were curled up on the couch. You sat up when he walked in and he couldn't help the curious look on his face that you'd not fled. You'd escaped so many times now and you had your chance. He hadn't been there and you would have had a good head start if you wanted to leave. It might have been the one chance you had to really escape. Not that he wouldn't track you down and bring you back though. His curiosity only increased when you stood, watching him with careful eyes. Those pretty fucking eyes. He could hear how fast your heart was beating, you were still scared of him. He didn't move, just watching you to see what you would do. He had given you a charming smile like he always did and that seemed to reassure you enough. He had been more than shocked when you walked over and wrapped your arms around him, thanking him. He knew why though. He could have fed from you, could have drained you. Yet he had left swiftly. He almost felt like you staying here and not leaving when you had the chance was your way of showing your gratitude for that and it somehow pleased him a little. 

A hug. It had been strange. He didn't really hug anyone much anymore since he'd gone his own way. His found family had been the only exception and that was more than rare these days. Yet his little pet was hugging him for simply not draining her, that he had been merciful somewhat with her. Instead of laughing at you or pushing you away, he wrapped his arms around you too, enjoying it. This was the first time you had let him touch you willingly when your mind hadn't been broken. That you'd actually touched him. Despite the fact that you weren't too fearful normally with him now, the only time you were really scared was when he would touch your face, neck or hair. Then you would shake and get quite upset.  It was nice for you to come to him, to let him be like this with you without your mind being in a bad place. He felt like he was making progress with you. He wanted you to get used to him touching you and you seemed like you were in some way.

Or at least he thought you were. But things quickly got back to normal. You would behave, do everything he asked of you. You would actually get along and have some interesting conversations. When you were a good girl he treated you well. He was still demanding and threatening when the need arose but in some ways, it was like you were his friend. But then you would suddenly snap, as if it had all been a ruse and you would flee. He would always find you, bring you back and punish you. The next few days after you would be broken. Pliable to him, needy with his affection he showered you with. Then it would go back to normal again. Rinse, wash and repeat. He was impressed however that your spark hadn't gone. Sure, it was annoying when you disobeyed him and tried to leave and then he’d have to put up with you crying when he punished you, but it was interesting that after all you'd been through, all your training and all your punishments, you still weren't completely broken. You were a special one, his pet. And that's exactly why he intended on keeping you around for a very long time. He’d even toyed with the idea of turning you. Possibly soon before you aged too much. Even you couldn't remember your age. You'd been in that place training since you were a young girl. You had lost count of time and your birthdays. You were forced to forget a lot of things. You weren't a person anymore. You were a thing. A servant. A toy, his toy. And you would be for the rest of eternity. Forever his pretty little plaything.

Billy stopped and closed his eyes with a sly smirk. He could hear how fast your heart was beating. Thumping wildly in your chest like the wings of a hummingbird trying to escape. He could smell you too. Your scent was always alluring, he’d know it anywhere. It was starting to rain now, the sky dark. He didn't need the light to see though, he could see well enough without it. He knew you would be cold. You were only in your pyjamas. He had bought you some clothes and things in your time together. At first, he had thought he would dress his toy up in slutty clothes, maybe none. But when he laid eyes on you and decided to buy you, it didn't feel right. Not that he wouldn't mind seeing you naked, of course he’d love the pleasure. But you weren't like the other girls. You were special, you were his. So he had bought you expensive silky black pyjama shorts and a cami. You looked divine in them. You looked divine in everything. 

He spotted you then, running like your life depended on it. To you it did. You were quite far from him but he was there in a split second with his vampire speed. You yelped when he was suddenly in front of you and fell into the mud on your back. Your bare feet were covered in mud and most likely hurt with you being out here without shoes. You were soaking and shivering as Billy pounced on you. He was his most menacing with you when you had dared to escape. He had to keep you in line, after all. The niceties would come after your punishment. He pinned your wrists above your head, his weight on you pushing you deeper into the wet muddy floor and you bucked and tried to get him off you.

“Let me go!” You screamed at him. It was useless out here, you knew that. It didn't seem to stop you though. It amused him, you were rather strong for a little human. If any human man ever tried to kidnap you he’d probably be sorry. Then again, Billy would torture him until he begged for death if anyone else touched you. You belonged to him.

“My sweet Y/N, don't you ever listen?” He grinned, nothing mirthful in it though as his dark eyes pierced you. He could compel you to obey, sure. But where was the fun in that? He liked a challenge, and dare he say he liked the fire inside of you. You didn't show it too much. Most of the time you were quiet and just did as he asked. Other times he managed to make you open up and even on a few occasions, after being here a while, he had managed to make you laugh. You had a similar sense of humour which had shocked him but he liked it. But the times you would for some reason decide to flee, you were nothing but fire. You didn't cry, you didn't beg him with nice words. You were just a ball of angry fire and he loved it. Although he still didn't know why you kept trying to escape. He treated you very well when you behaved. 

There were never any signs you were planning to escape either. It always kept him on his toes but honestly, it kept his life exciting. You would be a good little pet one minute and the next be running like a bat out of hell. If it was anyone else he’d have snapped their necks after their first try but there was something about you. You had so many layers to you and he actually liked having you around. When you behaved, you obeyed his every command. It was quite fun having a little toy to play with.

You were still trying to fight with him, but of course, he didn't move an inch, he was much stronger. He scooped you up and tossed you over his shoulder carelessly. You screamed and yelled and pounded his back, but in a flash you were back inside. He plonked you down on your feet in his room, right outside the closet. This would be where another layer of you would appear. You stumbled back into his chest and he gripped your arms tightly so you couldn't run.

“N-no! Please!” You begged, shaking your head as your chest began to heave. Still no tears though. They never made an appearance just yet.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. You left me no choice. One day you'll learn you can’t ever run from me,” he replied coldly before he shoved you inside and locked the door. He left the light on. The only time he locked you there in the dark had been your first ever punishment. After you being so broken for over a week and fearing he had ruined his toy for good, he decided one fear was enough. You were claustrophobic so this would still break you just enough, just for a couple of days. 

The tears started then. You were hysterical as you pounded at the door, begging for mercy. He heaved a sigh as he poured himself some brandy and sat in the armchair. He didn't much like punishing you anymore if he was honest. Hearing you begging him like that, hearing you so upset. It left a very unpleasant feeling in his chest which annoyed him. If you didn't misbehave he wouldn't have to do this. He downed his drink before standing and grabbing his coat. He needed a real drink. He needed to get out of here. Your cries were chipping away at the little sanity he still held onto. 

He swiftly left and slammed the door. His keen vampire hearing could still hear you down the hall. How you got more frantic when you knew he had gone. Knowing there was no chance now to beg him to let you out. He would come back in the morning, just like he always did. Maybe he would get you some flowers. You seemed to like that last time. Your favourites were forget-me-nots. His little pet would be broken and he would be the one to put you back together. You would be lovely and pliable and he would lavish you with affection. It was all part of the mind games. You needed to know if you behaved, things would be good for you. It was nothing to do with anything else. 

[blorbocedes]

Not sure if you know this but the official ship name for Jenson Button and Nico Rosberg is Princess Cake. For the prompt challenge a Princess Cake fake dating which leads to real dating f fic would be brilliant!

huhuhu, alright. I know this is one billion years late but Princess Cake model!au

"He said, he's not interested." Jenson shoved his way in the club, where some annoying gnat wasn't taking no for an answer and crowding in Nico's personal space when he just wanted to do tequila shots and dance.

What's more annoying than a guy who can't take no for an answer? A knight in shining armour you didn't ask for, looking down at Nico with silver lights of the club making a protruding halo around him.

"I can handle this." Nico muttered, shoving Jenson who was now in his personal space instead.

"See? He's into it. You'll get your turn next time."The gnat mistakes his dismissal for interest. Nico is thinking of ways to make him do a body shot and then break the shot glass while he's downing it.

Jenson doesn't budge, sliding an arm around Nico. "I'm already on my turn, mate. This one's my boyfriend." He yells over the roar of the music, kissing the top of Nico's head.

Of course, this makes the dude back off -- not Nico's rejections. Nico allows Jenson plastered by his side, presumably also drunk, right until the insect of the man is gone -- when he shoves Jenson off him, hard.

"I didn't ask you to save me." He hisses. He knows how they all see him, pretty, delicate, blonde little Nico in need of protection; like he hasn't been fucking men older than all of them. It wasn't cute when Lewis used to get jealous, and it's not cute when Jenson wants to play hero.

"You don't need to ask. God knows you'd drown before asking for help." Jenson laughs, and then chokes when an elbow hits his ribs. Another thing that was annoying about Jenson was he was never put off by Nico being horrible, it's like one day he decided he was fond of Nico and stuck to it, despite their friend group mostly choosing Lewis in the breakup. Nico doesn't want to see the morning where Jenson changes his mind, like everybody else.

Jenson does get the hint, though, leaving Nico to dance while he went to the bar. Someone taller, tanned and tattooed hands finds his way to his waist and Nico allows it for one song -- the stranger is hot and not overtly creepy. He does decline the offer to hook up in the bathroom, heading to the bar himself for a water; everything slightly dizzier but in a good way, the haze where nothing hurt.

He saw girls surrounding Jenson, clearly coming on to him -- touching his shoulder, and Jenson flirting back, although Jenson would flirt back at a rock or a dung beetle on a good day, so it didn't mean much. He wasn't really one for committing and bugs had a lifespan of a week.

"Oh! Nico!" Jenson smiles at him, and it is so lovely like he's genuinely happy to see him and not because he feels obliged to be nice to him. Nico wants to wipe it off his face.

"Ladies, I know he's quite the catch, but I'd appreciate if you backed off my boyfriend." Nico announced, sauntering, pulling Jenson back so that the girl's arm falls as Nico steps in his personal space where he sits on the barstool. The alcohol made him more confident, and infinitely bitchier. Let the girls think Jenson flirts around while being in a committed relationship.

Jenson's eyes were wide, with an awkward smile unsure of how to react.

"You have a boyfriend?!" One of the girls sounds incredulous, and Nico smiles at Jenson vindictively. "And you didn't tell us it's Nico Rosberg?" Now, it was turn for the blood to drain from Nico's face, as he recognized one of the women... a photographer from Vogue. He wasn't someone people knew the name of unless they were deep in the industry or knew his father.

"This is perfect, you know we were looking for couples for the Valentine shoot and you two, wow, the chemistry would be off the charts. I can see it already. Jenson, I can't believe you didn't tell me earlier, I really thought we were gonna have to let you go." She's excitable and Nico feels the smile off his face falling. Oh, fuck. Not only does that sound like an amazing opportunity, he'll probably fuck over Jenson's chances if he comes clean now.

"We're not actually--" Jenson starts to explain at Nico's shell shocked face.

"We'll be there." Nico confirms immediately, taking Jenson's arm and wrapping it around his waist who picks on the cue and pulls him in closer.

When the ladies take their drinks and step aside, a casting call and numbers exchanged, Jenson finally stares Nico down. "What the fuck was that, Britney?"

The nickname that Nico hates this time settles his nerves that Jenson isn't mad enough to not use it, at least. He sounds more incredulous at the turn of events than mad, like he couldn't what just happened.

Nico levels Jenson with a stare, stepping in between his open legs. "Congrats," he said deadpan, "You just got promoted."

It's one shoot, all they have to do is share chemistry which is their literal jobs as models. And for a major magazine which might open up further opportunities. Nico's a serial monogamist dealing with the fall out of Lewis, and Jenson fucks anything that is willing; all they have to do is pretend they're together.

How hard can it be?

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 17/288

2007 Brazilian GP

Here it is! The last race of the 2007 season. Gifs and recap!

Interlagos. It’s the last race of the season. Three contenders for the WDC : Alonso, Lewis, Raikkonen.

Massa is on pole. Mark Blundell fully believes Lewis will win, though. Most realistic scenarios are summarised : Lewis would win if he finished first or second. Alonso would win if he finished first and Lewis wasn’t second. Raikkonen needs to win to win (lol) and if Lewis was 6th at best.

We see footage from the parade. Of course the crowd went wild for Massa but Lewis already got a lot of support from the Brazilians too. He seems super chill before the race.

Qualifying was close, but Lewis is second. It’s his 12th front row start in 17 races. Lewis says it’s good to have a good fight with the others. Alonso is not happy about being 4th. He says they’re on the same strategy and it’s going to be difficult to win in these conditions.

Btw it’s super hot. Like scalding hot. People are worried about the tyres and the engines.

Hah, Lewis had to go to the stewards again because the team made a mistake with his tyres on Friday.

Honestly... I know he didn’t win the WDC that year but it’s so hard to believe given the circumstances! I can’t wait to see what happened that race but also don’t want to watch it happen lol.

Ooooooh Lewis and Nicholas hanging out before the start of the race 💜

Lol brothers will be brothers I guess

We now get a Lewis life story segment.

I—... Okay.

Anyway.

They’re gonna head for the grid now.

In an interview Lewis explains he always said he didn’t have a hero or role model because he thought it was corny, but as soon as he got to Interlagos he could feel Ayrton Senna’s presence and how much of an impact he had on him. He talks about working on his skills his whole life to get where he is and how he won’t let anything get in his way, but of course anything can happen during the race. He says if he doesn’t win but he can get out of his car and say he did the best he could then he can go onto the next one and do the best he can then again.

We hear from Bernie who never makes any fxcking sense when he talks. He says he wants Alonso to win. But Martin Brundle corrects him as he said he wanted Lewis to win before because he’d be a more dynamic champion when all the others never said anything for Formula 1 (lol I bet he wishes Lewis would stop “saying things” for Formula 1 now). He says he knows but he’s the new kid on the block which is “fantastic obviously” but “maybe he should wait a little bit”. Yeah shut up old man.

Emerson Fittipaldi is rooting for Lewis. He says sure, he has way less experience than Alonso and he’s under pressure but he’s shown what a fantastic driver he is.

Also today’s Star on Track is apparently Naomi Campbell?

Formation lap.

And they’re racing!

Oh no, terrible start from Lewis, on the dirty side of the track. Raikkonen gets past him in the first corner and then Alonso in the second one. OH NO and he locks up in the third, trying to overtake Alonso. He runs wide. I feel you can tell from the two last races that he doesn’t know how to handle the pressure yet. He’s now 8th.

Omg and there’s been a big crash too! Fisichella cut a corner and got back on track right in front of Yamamoto who couldn’t avoid him. Talk about driving dangerously. His front wing shattered and there’s debris on the track. Yellow flags, of course. Lewis is 7th, but he’s only 2.6 seconds behind Alonso.

There’s been an ad break and when we get back to the broadcast, we learn Lewis’ engine has cut off?! He’s driving super slowly, he clearly has issues. OMG HE’S DOWN TO 18TH?! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Lap 13, he’s 2 places up and very fast but there’s so much work to do still. Webber who was 5th is out of the race. Lap 15, Lewis is 5th fastest and now 12th. Lap 17, he’s 11th. Of course he’s making his way up. That’s what he does.

Lap 21. He’s now 10th but McLaren is getting ready for a pitstop. Ah it’s for Alonso. Jenson Button is retiring. Now Lewis pits for the soft tyres. If he got fuel it was very little of it. He’s 14th.

Davidson and Sutil touch and it’s synchronised spinning all over again.

Lap 28. Lewis isn’t doing too well on the softs. He needs to overtake Barrichello and OH HE DOES. The broadcaster doesn’t have enough superlatives to tell us about it. “Ridiculous”. “Unheard of.” “Majestic”. I mean look at it!

It was aggressive for sure but dang it looks good.

Next on the list is Seb. As the journalist points out he can’t pull that kind of ballsy move on a newbie. He didn’t crash into Barrichello solely because Barrichello is experienced enough to let him through. (Reminds you of something? yeah, me too. But then again Max is not a rookie anymore.)

OH JESUS SOMEONE RAN OVER THEIR MECHANICS! It’s Nakajima. Ooooh no, it was his first ever F1 pitstop. One mechanic is seen hopping away on one leg. WHY WOULD THEY SHOW US A SLOWMO REPLAY OF THAT NO THANK YOU. Now we see another one being helped away as he’s holding his lower back. Oh I feel so bad for them.

Oh dang in the meantime it’s Kubica overtaking Alonso for the third place! Good job! Lewis overtook Seb and is heading for Schumacher’s spot.

We’re halfway through the race. There’s been another ad break and they have really poor timing this race as it’s happened just as Lewis is pitting again. He’s going back on the hard tyres. Ouh big crash? It’s Kovalainen. Yellow flags but no need for a safety car. Kovalainen is out of the car and okay. Lewis is 9th. Kubica pits from third.

News from the Williams mechanics : the team didn’t want to give Louise their names but she reassures their families in the UK that all mechanics are okay. One has a injured leg and another hurt his back (yeh we figured that much from the footage). They’re gonna be checked over by the track medics but Williams say it’s just precautionary and the injuries aren’t serious.

40th lap. Barrichello’s car is being pushed in the garage after his pitstop. It’s on fire. Lewis is 8th but he’s gonna have to pit for a third time. Question now is : is Massa gonna let Raikkonen past as he himself can’t win the WDC? Ah but a few laps later Ferrari handled the pitstop in such a way that Raikkonen takes the lead. Lewis would need to get in 5th place to win now. It would probably take McLaren asking Alonso to move aside and that’s very unlikely to happen. Lewis pits again, he’s 9th. There’s only 14 laps left.

It seems Lewis’ engine is still having issues and we’re told the mechanics hope he can make it work for the last stint but they aren’t hopeful re: the pace. However just as we hear this, Lewis sets the fastest lap of the race.

7 laps to go. Lewis 7th. It’s not enough but so close, oh so close. Next is Heidfeld. Lewis is much quicker than him but he’s 13 seconds ahead AND he has to unlap himself from the Ferraris to get to him. This is impossible. It’s incredible how close the WDC standings are though. Last lap for the lead of the race. Alonso is almost a minute behind the Ferraris too, which says all there is to say about how fast they were.

And it’s the end of the race, and of the season! Raikkonen is world champion, Massa is second, Alonso third. Lewis is 7th. He missed the title for one point. Juste one point. His rookie year. How unbelievable is that?! Lewis shakes Raikkonen’s hand, congratulates him. Wow. Weird to see an emotional Raikkonen.

We hear from Anthony who’s super positive as always. He assures nobody is pained over that race because they just had the most fantastic Formula 1 season ever. He says they lost for one point and will be back next year, and if it’s not next year then the year after that.

He says : “One thing’s for sure : Lewis Hamilton is here to stay.”

[nancynancydrewdrewdrew]

How Nancy Drew Characters Would Handle COVID

@an-american-teen-against-crime mentioned on my post that Toni Scallari wouldn’t wear a mask that we need more Nancy Drew COVID discourse and I agree so here we go (minor spoilers)!

Also just to preface this I don’t think that not wearing a mask is an option and I don’t want to present it as an opinion thing bc masking up is objectively good, this is really just would these characters suck right now or not lol

Would Definitely Wear a Mask:

Nancy: duh. She’s totally up to date on CDC guidelines as well as state/local ones and has a bunch of masks that totally do their job but are all fashion travesties

Mattie Jenson: She’s just a really nice lady and would likely see herself as a role model bc she’s on TV so she definitely would

Henrik: I mean duh he already does for like half the game and he spends the other half in the hospital so he probably doesn’t want a repeat of that

Sally McDonald (phone friend from DOG): All I remember about her is that she was really panicked about the ghost dogs so I think she’d be panicked about this too and take proper precautions

Jenna Deblin: She just strikes me as a grade a not idiot so I think she would wear the mask. She might get a little peeved about all the changes she has to make to the Hot Kettle but she does them anyway bc she sees their purpose

Jim Archer: He’s from the 30′s so I don’t think he’d be alive now but I bet he wore a mask in 1918. Also I don’t think he fought in WW1. That has nothing to do with this, just an observation, but I think he stayed home and banked while wearing a mask

John Grey: He is a man of science (even though its like...ghost science which is debatable at best) so he would be respecting guidelines and wearing a mask

Minette: I think this one is obvious

Ollie/Freddie Randall: I remember Ollie mentioning his wife can’t stay with them over the winter bc she is sick, so they would definitely be doing everything to make sure they aren’t spreading anything or taking anything home

Isis: hear me out. She’s a wolf but also a good girl so I think she would

Rachel/Kim Hubbard: They’re really nervous and stressed even when there is no pandemic and also good at hiding so they’ve been super up to date, wearing masks, and staying home. Their masks are identical tho

Debbie Kircum: She is a smart woman of science so of course.

Miwako Shimizu: She is very attentive to the needs of others so she would, plus she lives with Takae who is old and would want to protect her

Yumi Shimizu: She also would and would yell at people for not wearing theirs

Hotchkiss: She totally would but her masks are like weird patterns or something

Ryan Kilpatrick: Quirky young people always wear masks

Mason Quinto: He likes everything to be a certain way and I bet one of those ways is not diseased

Jessalyn Thornton: Seems to have a good head on her shoulders, idk 

Harper Thornton: She seems to be of high moral fiber and really doesn’t like it when people kill other people so she would take steps to prevent doing that herself

Niobe Papadaki: One of her key character traits is being worried about getting killed so she’d be on top of things

Elisabet Grimursdottir: she would be working very hard to make sure that Skipbrot’s cases stay at just about zero, and they’re remote enough that her efforts are working

Ranger Akers: He cares about the environment and would view it as his civic duty. He also likes citing people so he would go around giving citations to people and businesses that aren’t following Moon Lake’s guidelines, and honestly good for him

Henry Bolet: He’s depressed and idk I just feel like depressed people take this seriously

Would Maybe Wear a Mask:

Ingrid Corey: She works in STEM so I’m leaning towards yes, but she’s also really into like new-agey medicine stuff so she might just think that if she eats enough peanut butter or smth she’ll be fine

Red Knott: He’s an old white guy who’s kind of an asshole, but he also likes being alone and watching birds so I think he’d be fine with self-isolation in the woods and wearing a mask when he has to go to the store

Mrs. Drake: she’s pretty self-entitled and snotty so maybe not, but then again she holds the Penvellyn name to a really high standard and would maybe see it as a civic duty

Charleena Purcell: Again, she’s pretty self-entitled, but she’s also an author so may have talked to people from all walks of life and wanted to do the right thing as a result

Jane/Marion: See she’s objectively a bad person so I would say no, but wearing one would also make her less recognizable so she might. I think she would wear one but for nefarious reasons only, which like also stops the spread of the virus so okay “Jane”

Kit Foley: He’s kind of a tool but also is friends with Kyler and Matt so they’d probably set him straight. Who knows tho

Chase Relerford: he really strikes me as someone who would say wearing a mask is an attack on his freedom (it isn’t) but also he works for a group of scientists so maybe he would realize the real deal here

Brenda Carlton: Probably wears one on-air to seem like a good reporter but then goes out to brunch with her friends like all the time and doesn’t follow guidelines

Would Definitely Not Wear a Mask:

Toni Scallari: she’s a small-town conservative politician who is named after Antonin Scalia. No she isn’t wearing a mask, and she’s turning it into a Whole Thing in River Heights. Also, as @ryan-kilpatrick points out, she would totally keep Scoop open even after it was said to close and encourage her patrons to not wear masks

Jake Rogers: unfortunately Jake is dead so wearing a mask wouldn’t really do anything so I don’t think he would go through the effort

Taylor Sinclair: He thinks he’s above it all and that his tie is enough to scare away the virus or smth idk but he’s gross so he’s not wearing one

Richard Topham: Spews some BS about how if someone had COVID he’d be able to tell with his mind so it’s unnecessary

Big Island Mike: sorry but he wouldn’t and he’d be an asshole about it, not giving you your big island bucks if you’re wearing a mask or smth

Renee Amande: She really thinks that her secret pouch or whatever is enough

Margherita Fauberg: She is as entitled as they come and would NOT bc she doesn’t like the look of them and thinks that’s a good reason

Enrico Tazza: Ironic bc he does wear a mask but it’s the wrong kind. Also he keeps his game house open on the sly and makes it a mask free zone, but don’t worry that totally backfires on him

Clara Thornton: Ugh she’s just the worst. Super entitled and yells at her family for wearing masks and also is sending really passive-aggressive family group chats about Thanksgiving

Shorty Thurmond: Ugh he is just the worst. He doesn’t wear one and intentionally gets in other people’s space just to scare them and then yells conspiracy theories about government control at them when they try to move away

Okay that’s not everyone but it’s a lot! I think most people would wear masks since that’s a normal thing to do, so if I didn’t mention someone its bc they’re just normal so there was nothing worth mentioning haha. What do you think? 

[formulatrash]

Could I get your opinion on Hamilton? Bc I feel like people either love him and are like he is the nicest person in the universe or hate him and think he’s the worst & tbh while he does seem genuinely good he’s also clearly willing to do quite a lot to win (2007) & I really doubt the Nico thing was one sided either way so... opinions.

Hello, anon - I got two of these so gonna answer this one rather than both .Lewis, man. Where the hell do you start with Lewis? Unquestionably one of the most talented drivers we have seen or will ever see on track. Not just for raw speed or ingenuity but with the way he has been able to adapt and learn across a changing era of cars - something a lot of the other drivers aspiring to GOAT status (Alonso, in particular) just haven’t been able to do. 

People think of Lewis as having unquestionably the best car. But that’s a recent development (and not always true even then) - the last few years he and Jenson were at McLaren, they were wildly outperforming the cars with a really strong driver pairing. (and the order was a little less rigid then, in all fairness)

I’m nearly the same age as Lewis so I remember him when he was a novelty - when what people said was that there was this guy in the junior categories who was fast - and this was always prefixed - he was black. 

People said he was stroppy, had cheating engines (there is no evidence of this, especially when you consider the budget he was working with) and that he had a bad attitude, he was never going to get to Formula One so why put him in your team, a kid like that couldn’t be a champion… in other words the extremely racialised term “uppity.” Like, have absolutely zero illusions on this front, people were not supportive.

Some were, obviously and for every hand up like the McLaren backing, the detractors got louder. So when Lewis took the GP2 title and moved up to F1, he had to come in hot and obnoxious. Especially with Fernando as his teammate. Especially with spygate about to wipe out any shine left on the mangled heap they’d made of the championship trophy that year.

And oh, the disqualification (for anyone not up to speed: the whole McLaren entry was excluded that season for allegedly spying on Ferrari) just validated the detractors: you see, he isn’t that good. He was cheating. 

Lewis has a temper. I don’t mean that in the sense he’s an angry guy, at all, just that there is a certain length you can push him and he will eventually snap, like all of us - he’s not a robot. And if you have to prove yourself again and again and again, in tests way beyond what anyone else is being scrutinised on, knowing that it is unfair and having no way to get past them but to once again, obnoxiously, excel then you will occasionally also make the odd sniping comment. 

I’ve never heard him say anything stroppier than he once threw a bit of a shit fit because he thought Jenson unfollowed him on Twitter, though - whereas the howling conniptions when he succeeds in whatever the latest arbitrary challenge someone has decided he must pass to be considered successful? Those continue to the day.

Lewis, of course, is now pretty zen. He’s spent a long time working on himself and has been repairing his relationship with his father (who used to be his manager until they somewhat explosively parted ways) and with old rivals. He’s been growing as a person and a driver, he’s been caring less about what people think. The Lewis now is very different to the Lewis even a few years ago - clearly a lot of self-reflection and space has happened, after what was years of charging around and also some - bluntly - horrible psychological shit which the Merc team definitely have to take some responsibility for because it was their success formula to set him and Nico against each other to push each other forwards.

And for all the bitterness between him and Nico, they were never, like, really loathing each other. Just couldn’t work together. I find it really ghoulish how eager the press is to see Carlos and Lando go the same way, asking when will you fall out? all the time like it wasn’t obvious both Lewis and Nico were in pretty horrible states during it. (I saw some of the aftermath via one of them and like, that’s some trauma right there :/)

Has Lewis had his controversies? For sure. Some of them I have been upset by - like when he posted an instagram story telling his nephew he couldn’t wear a dress. Thing about Lewis is that, especially as he’s got older, he doesn’t double-down on things like that, he goes away and reflects - and designed a range of skirts and modelled them for an interview where he was called on it, then went to Disneyland and walked round with his nephew wearing that princess dress he’d mocked him for. [warning: Daily Mail link sorry, only site that had the pics] 

Yes, ideally he would not have been a prang in the first place but it is also very good to publicly show growth. Especially in F1. 

I loved old, obnoxious fuckboy Lewis. He was the middle finger F1 needed showing - and his resilience to the number of times the press and the talking heads and the social circles of F1 tried to push him back down, only to spring back up with a blindingly-polished trophy… ah, you love to see it. 

Lewis means more to me than almost any other driver - and like, I vibe heavily with several - because he is that outlier example who shouldn’t have been counted but who keeps forcing them to score him into the ledgers of history, even now.

Is it good having a vocal advocate for women and for LGBT rights, who isn’t scared to call out motorsports prejudices and racism, so prominently in the sport? Yes. It’s a hard truth that he had to get this level of success in order to gain a platform because no when Lewis speaks people have to listen and report it. Because if his Instagram story can turn into a scandal, it can also be a communications platform. It’s why he holds a lot of sway with Liberty Media. 

Now Lewis’ rights to be in the sport are unassailable. So he can start on other fights he couldn’t take at the time - there’s a reason the F1 press still gives Wehrlein (who is one of the sweetest drivers I have ever worked with) the “uppity” treatment and it’s fucking sad. It’s so embarrassing to work in this industry that’s a thousand miles behind even other embarrassing industries on this global fucking shame. 

Look, I don’t give a fuck about the whole GOAT thing because sport is a continuous cycle (err, most years) and so ‘all time’ is a dumb thing to put in an accolade. But Lewis is, in my opinion, the best Formula One driver we have ever witnessed the career of. He is devastatingly good, has honed himself to a level where mistakes are such a rarity they’re a headline in and of themselves.

To maintain that, year after year after year? It’s not human. It’s a man who’s pushed himself beyond the pinnacle of the sport because he has proven everything and still someone will be typing out some snide little piece, at the same time I am writing this, that Hamilton will never be the greatest because [arbitrary mathematics about how you can’t count three of his titles so we don’t have to respect him yet. Not yet. It’s not that we don’t respect him because of who he is. It’s just one last test….]

Does Lewis being so good at Formula One driving it’s not really comprehensible below the level of fellow world champion make other drivers bad? No. He’s not walking to the titles. And maybe one day someone will be better than Lewis. Maybe he won’t be on form this year, somehow, for the first time in years of racing - if it ever starts again. Maybe he’ll retire to make tracksuits and rescue dolphins. 

I am glad he seems happy now. He looks incredible. Man gets hotter and nicer with every year and you absolutely love to see it. His growth in himself and the sport has been equally impressive and his transformative power, both in terms of pushing forward the sporting side and in terms of using his platforms for good, is awesome. 

(Lewis doesn’t have to speak out about stuff; I know people think it’s naff or crass or obnoxious or preachy but he could just not - and he knows people’d bash him for something else) 

That said, I wish he’d put some money into sponsoring some grass roots motorsport but that is literally my only beef with him. But yeah, we stan a complicated, evolutionary boy.

[f1chronicle]

The Lewis Hamilton Fallacy

With Lewis Hamilton setting a new FORMULA 1 win record, and closing in on a record-equalling seventh World Championship, the vitriol on social media has been increasing, causing many to no longer wish to participate in Facebook groups that tolerate driver-bashing and hatred.

So how did we get to this point?

There are many factors at play here such as most drivers having a big presence across social media, but a key premise is we all have a different model of the world.

How you see things is completely different to how I see things, and generally speaking, this is a good thing for society as we can all bring our different points of view to a scenario and find a way forward.

Sadly this is not the case in the comments of nearly every F1 group on Facebook, where people are adamant that their point of view is right, yours is wrong, and you’re an idiot for thinking the way you do.

Let’s take a look at some of the common arguments in F1 groups, and see if they hold water…

Driver X Is The GOAT!

The GOAT argument isn’t specific to the world of F1, just look at the NBA, where LeBron James fourth NBA title stirred great debate as to whether or not he takes the mantle from Michael Jordan.

In F1 we have Lewis Hamilton vs Michael Schumacher, 93 race wins vs 91, six championships vs seven.

So how do we work out who the GOAT is?

Well, we can’t.

And even when F1 and AWS put out their ‘Fastest Driver’ analysis it still didn’t appease people if their guy wasn’t deemed the fastest.

Different drivers, different competition, different cars, the list goes on.

What we can have though is our favourite, and our own criteria for choosing a GOAT.

Personally, I didn’t much enjoy the years where Schumacher and Ferrari dominated. However, he has the most titles so to me he is still the greatest.

Some say the best of all time is Jim Clark, some say Fangio, some say Ayrton Senna. But unless they have seen them race, how can they compare?

Because if they’re using statistics, well the numbers don’t add up.

If they’re using stories and YouTube clips, then they’re comparing some drivers highlight reels against other drivers careers.

The passing of time plays an interesting trick on the mind, where we often forget the flaws, the disappointments, and the losses, remembering only the triumphs and victories.

And that’s ok.

You can have your GOAT, I can have mine, and neither of us can (or should) try to convince others that their GOAT is wrong.

Lewis Hamilton Has The Fastest Car (Or Best Car)

This one is odd, as I’m yet to see a car that wasn’t the fastest win a race.

When Pierre Gasly won the 2020 Italian Grand Prix, on that day, his car was the fastest.

Maybe there is something in the air in Italy, as in 2008 Sebastian Vettel won in a Toro Rosso to claim his first win in F1. Funnily enough, on that day, his car was the fastest.

You wouldn’t think you’d need to explain how motorsport works, but what happens is the driver who crosses the line first, ie completes the race distance the fastest, wins. It’s that simple.

These ‘fastest car’ or ‘best car’ arguments add to the Lewis Hamilton Fallacy.

Formula 1 is a meritocracy, and as such, the best drivers usually find themselves into the cockpit of the best car.

From 2010 to 2013, it was widely acknowledged that Red Bull Racing were producing the best cars, as they powered Sebastien Vettel to four consecutive World Championships.

Today though, people are rewriting history as they claim Hamilton has ‘always’ benefitted from being in the best car.

So which one is it?

Because clearly it can’t be both.

The Good Old Days Were Better

This one is always fun, and is something that likely happens to all of us as we get older!

I’ve found myself opining that the English Premier League was better in the 90s and 2000s than it is now for example.

Often, the ‘good old days’ coincide with a time in history where our favourite teams and stars were winning. Funny about that.

Have you ever met a Ferrari fan who thinks the current era is better than the 2000-2004 period?

No, you haven’t.

However, where this one gets really interesting is when people argue that the drivers no longer drive the cars, and that everything is controlled by engineers sitting on a pit wall.

The problem with this is the Williams FW14B, built in 1992, is still considered the most technologically sophisticated car in the history of F1.

It’s 28 years old.

The FW14B had semi-automatic transmission, active suspension, traction control and, for a short time, anti-lock brakes.

It also had Adrian Newey in charge of aerodynamics.

In fact, Williams found the FW14B was proving so successful that when the FW15 was ready half-way through the 1992 FORMULA 1 season, it wasn’t used.

The argument (often made by people who reach their limit reversing out the driveway) that Hamilton turns up on a Sunday, plants his foot on the accelerator, and drives into the distance is disrespectful of the amount of work he puts in to keep his body and mind at peak performance, as well as the staff at Mercedes who put in countless hours perfecting the car.

Mercedes Should Get Max Verstappen, He Would Beat Hamilton

This would be a terrible idea for Mercedes, so it’s a good thing they don’t listen to public opinion on social media.

First of all, it sends a message to drivers in their development program that even if you progress through the program the seat will go to the big-name with more runs on the board.

Second, do you recall the Senna v Prost years?

Sure, Ron Dennis had two prodigious talents at his disposal, but the infighting, egos, and crashes out on course disrupted team harmony, causing factions in the garage and distrust at all levels.

Mercedes currently have the perfect set up, and it’s obviously working, as they pick up championship after championship.

As we’ve seen throughout history, having a genuine #1 and an able deputy leads to both Driver’s and Constructor’s Championships.

During the aforementioned ‘Schumacher Years’ of 2000 to 2004, he was the undisputed #1 and teammate Rubens Barrichello understood his role and performed it admirably.

Lewis Hamilton Doesn’t Have Competitive Teammates

Former Formula 1 World Champions Fernando Alonso, Jenson Button, and Nico Rosberg would probably all argue that they are competitive drivers, capable of going wheel to wheel with Hamilton.

And they would be right, because they have the race wins and championships to prove their credentials.

When Hamilton joined the grid in 2007 as a teammate to Fernando Alonso, the belief throughout the paddock was that Alonso was #1 and Hamilton would be there to learn the ropes in F1.

In reality, it didn’t work out like that.

As Hamilton performed well, taking podiums and race wins, tensions mounted, and boiled over at the 2007 Hungarian Grand Prix, where in the final qualifying session Alonso deliberately delayed Hamilton in the pits, ensuring he wouldn’t be able to get in one last run.

The pair didn’t speak for weeks after the incident.

At the end of the season, both drivers secured four race wins and 12 podiums. Clearly they were allowed to race each other, there were no team orders.

Funnily, after tensions thawed, in 2017 Alonso said “[Hamilton] was able to win with a dominant car, with a good car like 2010 or 2012, or with bad cars like 2009 and 2011. Not all the champions can say that”.

Is Alonso suggesting Hamilton hasn’t always had the best car?

Facebook commenters would disagree with the two-time World Champion…

In Jenson Button’s book ‘Life to the Limit’ Button goes into detail how competitive Hamilton was, and makes it clear that he too was there to win, not just to act as a rear-gunner for Hamilton. An interesting fact Button points out in this same book is that when Rubens Barrichello was his teammate at Honda, Barrichello had it written into his contract that they were equal drivers, he was not to be a #2…

When Hamilton moved to Mercedes for 2013, a move derided by many given Mercedes lacklustre performance in previous years, it was Nico Rosberg’s team.

There is evidence that team orders were used on at least one occasion in 2013, where at the 2013 Malaysian Grand Prix Rosberg was ordered to stay behind Hamilton in the closing stages, rather than fighting for third place. Hamilton felt the call was wrong, and that Rosberg should have been allowed to race.

During the 2014 Formula 1 season tensions again boiled over for Hamilton and a teammate, as several early exchanges throughout the season threatened to compromise both drivers title aspirations.

The pair had a wheel-to-wheel battle in Bahrain, a down-to-the-wire tussle in Spain, and made contact in Belgium.

In 2016, the year Rosberg won the championship, the two came together at the 2016 Spanish Grand Prix, in a move that infuriated Niki Lauda, as both drivers crashed out of the race.

The duo came together again at the 2016 Austrian Grand Prix, however both drivers could continue, with Hamilton taking the win.

Nice Rosberg went on to win the 2016 Driver’s Championship, which gives Hamilton detractors a curious dilemma.

On one hand they laugh, saying he was beaten by Nico Rosberg, yet on the other, they say he has never had to race against competitive teammates.

So, which one is it?

Lewis Hamilton Needs To Prove He Can Win With Another Team

This one always brings a smile to the face 😊

I have no problem with fans being new to F1, it’s great! The sport needs more and more fans to keep it going.

The issue is people forgetting that the sport was going before they saw it on Drive to Survive, then commenting on Facebook posts.

For the record, Lewis Hamilton won the 2008 Driver’s Championship with McLaren.

Although they had a Mercedes engine at the time, they were indeed their own team then, as they are now.

And that is a different team to Mercedes.

Hamilton has won championships with two teams.

Before the 2008 season Felipe Massa of Ferrari was the favourite to win the title, and Ferrari did indeed win the Constructor’s Championship, however, in a thrilling finish to the season Hamilton won the title by one point.

His teammate Heikki Kovalainen finished seventh.

But wait, doesn’t the best car always win the Driver’s Championship too?

Well now I don’t know what to believe.

Put Lewis Hamilton In A Williams, Let’s See How He Goes

If Hamilton was to drive for Williams, we already know how it would go – terribly.

Why?

Because it is a poor car that has suffered at the hands of bad management and a lack of finances for several seasons now.

Fernando Alonso drove a horrible McLaren from 2015 to 2017.

Jenson Button and Rubens Barrichello had a terrible Honda to drive in 2007 and 2008, and not just because it had a map of the world painted on it. The aerodynamics were poor from the start, and the car just wasn’t competitive.

Does this diminish any of these drivers achievements before or after?

Does it prove their car is what won them races?

No, what it does prove is that Formula 1 is a team sport, and that it takes everyone rowing in the right direction together to deliver a package capable of competing at the front.

If Lionel Messi signed for Newcastle they still wouldn’t win the league. Likewise if Lebron James joined the Knicks, they wouldn’t win an NBA title. The teams they would join are still terrible, but having a champion on the team would improve them and make everyone life their standards over time.

Hamilton wouldn’t win in a Williams, just like Raikkonen can’t win in an Alfa and Vettel can’t get near a podium in a Ferrari this year.

However, the one thing all these drivers have in common is the ability to wring every ounce of performance out of a bad car, and Williams would expect nothing less if they had Hamilton in their race seat.

Politics Don’t Belong in Sport

As a middle-aged white man, this one makes me cringe the most.

Middle aged white men on Facebook, telling a black man what he should and shouldn’t do, how he can protest, and how he is ‘ruining’ the sport for them.

Yikes.

The purpose of a protest is to bring issues to light, to have people questioning their attitudes and beliefs.

Telling someone how they can protest against their perceived suppression is, er, suppressing them further.

You may not agree with ‘We Race As One‘, the BLM movement or drivers taking a knee before the race, but that’s the point. An issue being highlighted is an opportunity for you to question your thinking, to reflect, and possibly make changes. There is no harm in admitting that at one time you held beliefs that you now feel are wrong.

While we’re on the topic of politics in sports and how the handful of minutes it takes to show drivers supporting the ‘End Racism’ message ruining peoples enjoyment of Formula 1, what of other sports?

The ‘Old Firm’ derby is one of the biggest rivalries in sport, and it is founded on religion and politics. People are born into a side based on which side of the clearly divisive line they fall, Catholic vs Protestant, British vs Irish Scot, Conservatism vs Socialism. People have been killed on derby days, and violence in Glasgow increases any time the two clubs play.

Politics don’t belong in sport though, so they must be fighting over something else.

In 1967 Muhammed Ali refused to serve in the US Army during the Vietnam War, uttering the famous line ‘I ain’t got no quarrel with those Vietcong…no Vietcong ever called me nigger.’ Since then he has, rightfully, been lauded as a hero for his stance.

The Vietnam War probably wasn’t political though, was it?

Even the sport of Bandy isn’t immune to politics!

Norway declined to take part in the 1957 Bandy World Championship because the Soviet Union was invited, due to the Soviet invasion of Hungary the year before. The country made a similar protest for the 1969 Bandy World Championship because of the Warsaw Pact invasion of Czechoslovakia that year, handing over the hosting of the 1969 event to Sweden.

Indeed Formula 1 itself is no stranger to politics in sport, with the 2011 Bahrain Grand Prix cancelled due to concerns over human rights protests led by Avaaz.

You may not agree with the stance Hamilton has taken, you may not like it, but you do have to respect that in a free society he can use his platform however he sees fit – he built it.

What To Make Of The Lewis Hamilton Fallacy

Now I’m not naïve enough to think that the words on this page will make everyone stop arguing on the internet, that will never happen.

What I do hope though is that it has loosened the grip for some people, and will help them take the blinkers off.

We’re lucky enough to be living in a time where each Sunday, one of the finest Formula 1 drivers the world has ever seen jumps into his Mercedes and puts his life on the line to win trophies, and entertain us.

I’m lucky enough to have seen this level of performance twice, once with Michael Schumacher, now with Lewis Hamilton.

Should I live long enough to see Hamilton’s records beaten, I won’t waste time arguing over who is the GOAT, who had the best car, or why this bright new talent needs to jump through made up hoops to prove themselves to the folks in the bleachers.

I’ll simply be grateful to have witnessed three drivers at the absolute peak of their powers, doing what they love.

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[lovelyirony]

'i’m the best worst thing that hasn’t happened to you yet' - for winter13 please? :)

Winter Soldier is a freelancer now. It’s surprising given the ironclad grip that Hydra had held over him, but it was...nice. To escape from their grasp, to be on the run and choosing jobs for himself. There was no RSVP checkpoint, no orders that had to be exact. 

He got a job, executed it well (forgive the pun), and sometimes had coffee afterwards. 

Of course, he took jobs from all over. As long as payment was discreet and so was the job, people were happy to pay a man who had once been a machine. 

Jobs from all over meant that there were always requirements. He had no problem disposing of members of Hydra, but SHIELD was a bit trickier. Winter Soldier reserved the right to refuse a job, and had countless times now. 

(Countless. Almost made him giddy.) 

Agent Thirteen. The newest assignment. 

The hit came from someone inside SHIELD. Which isn’t as suspicious as most would think. SHIELD is many things, but thorough is not always one of them. There are people that slip through the cracks because they get a second chance, something that Barnes thinks they could learn from ever since Jasper Sitwell has become...ill-disposed of. And Pierce has died mysteriously with files about Hydra’s involvement plastered to his chest. 

But Agent Thirteen is born-and-bred into SHIELD. Her great-aunt was the leader of it all, and she ruled with iron in her bones and a heart that cared genuinely. She stayed late nights at the office, kept a knife on her at all times, and was...surprising. 

There was a reason Hydra laid as low as it did throughout the years. 

He had heard that Agent Thirteen lived up to the expectations set upon her. But he wasn’t sure that she was deserving of the fate that someone else had in store for her. 

So he decides to move next door. Whoever was living there has moved out, so he’s moving in as Jim Wetzel. Typical first name, not last. SHIELD is the absolute queen of taking generic names, having a “just-moved-in” neighbor that’s a little too tense, a little too observant. 

Jim Smith wouldn’t do. Jim Smith is too generic. No one names their kid Jim Smith anymore, it’s like sirens wailing loudly. 

So he’s Jim Wetzel. He shakes with his right hand, smiles at the woman who says her name is Kate--it most definitely isn’t--and they exchange pleasantries. 

“When did you hear about the place? It seemed awfully...fast,” Thirteen says. 

“A friend of a friend knows some people a couple floors down, got the message from them,” Jim says with a shrug. “And now here I am. How long have you been here?” 

“Almost a year now,” she responds kindly. “Keep an eye out for the washer on the left, I don’t trust it.” 

“Good advice,” Jim says with a laugh. “See you around, Kate.” 

Kate. What a bad name in the mouth. He’s not sure if it just sounds fake or if it’s because he knows she’s not a Kate. 

He has never really moved in before. Not at this level, not for this long. He has furniture, and he went to the thrift store and bought an eclectic collection of plates and mugs, most of which are very weird. One mug might be cursed, he’s not sure yet. 

Then he sets up shop. SHIELD’s hours run from six a.m. to about eight at night, or later if you’re a very good employee. Or a very bad one. Either way, Sharon may stay later. So he has ample time to place bugs. 

The problem is that she will know all the typical places. Under the television, underneath the bed. (Which he wouldn’t do anyway, because you get...interesting noises.) 

So he has to be sneaky with places, think outside the box. 

Her apartment really is quite nice. Tasteful decorations, small portraits that are obviously faked. He finds her guns and knives, and one set of poison darts that are innocuously disguised as toothpicks in a jar. He thinks it’s cute. 

- 

Meanwhile, “Kate” is pretty fucking sure that her next-door neighbor is either a spy or a model. Potentially both. But no one that hot just “surprise” moves in, and no one can hold two boxes with one arm unless they’re Natasha, but Natasha would be smooth if she was struggling. This guy didn’t even look like it was a problem. 

So she is suspicious. 

But she is also interested in this guy. He’s her type: a little bit dangerous, nice smile, and probably looks good in navy blue. 

So when she comes home at eight-thirty, she does check her home. 

She finds one bug. She’s sure there are more in places that she would never check, and this means that this guy has been in the business a hell of a lot longer than she thought. It also means she’ll have to run facial recognition on any chance that he’s recognizable, and those chances are slim. 

But she cannot dismantle the bugs yet. She has to leave them there until she has enough evidence to be a nice neighbor and confront him with a nice dish of brownies. 

It’s odd, living in a place that you know is bugged. She knows that he didn’t touch the bedroom. Hmph. She would have. 

She smiles at him in the hallway when they wake up the same time. 

“Where you off to, Jim?” She asks, holding her briefcase. 

“Gym,” he answers. “Gotta get it in somehow, you know? What about you, work?” 

“Boring office job,” Kate answers easily. Kate does have a boring job. It’s all paperwork and accounting and the classes she would have failed if she had taken them in college. “Where do you work?” 

“Private security firm,” he answers. Which is kind of true. He is independent. “Just making sure people stay safe from threats.” 

“Important work,” Kate says lightly. “Ever go wrong?” 

“Rarely.” 

She nods, stepping forward as the elevator door opens. “Good luck today, Jim. Hope the workout goes as planned.” 

Okay. Bucky knows she’s onto him now. 

Shit. 

-

Sharon has important shit to do. 

But she is not an art student. 

So she is trying to convince Agent Jenson to draw someone for her. 

“I will buy you the good donuts,” Sharon begs. “You know I wouldn’t be doing this for any other reason.” 

“One time when you were bored you made Thea on third floor photoshop Clint into a McDonald’s ad just to see if you all could get it to Times Square and you did,” Jenson says, deadpan. “I’m not sure how Barton doesn’t get recognized, he’s gotten on national news twice.” 

“The marketing team describes him as a Florida man, we got lucky,” Sharon argues. “And Barton isn’t involved in this.” 

Agent Jenson cannot be convinced. 

But Sharon gets lucky because Coulson loves history. 

James fucking Barnes. 

Jim. 

Goddammit. She’s screwed. And it’s only Thursday. 

-

When she comes home at ten o’clock (yes she did procrastinate going home, it’s not like you can’t procrastinate death), she has a gun trained on her door. 

Right on Jim, who has a knife raised. 

“You know, why aren’t we both rational about this?” Sharon asks. “I’m sure you can talk diplomatically, Barnes.” 

“I can. But I find more truth in threats and statements rather than diplomacy. Politicians aren’t known for telling the truth.” 

“Good thing I don’t have a plan to go into politics,” Sharon says. “So let’s sit down. I’m not gonna hold this gun for twenty minutes.” 

And then they sit. That’s awkward. 

“I need to know something,” Barnes says. “And I’ll know if you’re lying.” 

“Of course you will. I’d be concerned if you didn’t,” Sharon says. “So. Why were you sent to kill me?” 

“There are rumors of you being disloyal to SHIELD. I need to know if you’re working for anyone else.” 

“No. Not ever.” He nods. 

“Who hired me?” she asks. 

“A man who goes by Crossbones,” Bucky says. 

“Oh my god,” Sharon groans. “Of fucking course it’s Rumlow...” 

Bucky freezes. He knows that name. He remembers that man. 

“New plan,” he says. “You’re gonna help me get rid of Rumlow.” 

Sharon blinks. 

She’s used to decisions being made over a series of days. This is...this is new. 

“This is personal, isn’t it?” 

“You’re smart,” Bucky says bitterly. “He’s an asshole. And I hate him a lot.” 

“Got it,” Thirteen says. “Then let’s switch it up. Draw him to where I am. I’ll take care of the rest. You’re on clean-up.” 

“I’ve never had a team-up before,” Bucky says. “But I usually think we know each other’s names.” 

“Sharon,” she says. “Bucky, right? Or do you seriously go by Jim?” 

“Not like Bucky is any better,” he mentions. “But yeah. Bucky. Pleasure doing business with you, Sharon.” 

“Better get started,” she says. 

(Oh, he’s in love.) 

[ariannasart]

The History Of Typography

Type is the power to visually express words and ideas.

Black letter:

Its commonly believed that the creator of typography is a man named Johannes Gutenburg

Before this books were scribed by hand mainly by monks which was time consuming and expensive to do. Gutenburg created Blackletter, the first ever typeface, which was modeled from the scribes. Blackletter has thick vertical lines and thin horizontal connectors. This was great for scribing but looked too dense when printed.

Roman Type:

Roman type is now known as "cambria"

The first roman typeface was created in the 15th century by Nicolas Jenson

Jenson mainly worked in Venice, Italy and was greatly inspired by the writing found on ancient roman buildings.

His letter forms were based on straight lines and regular curves which was more legible in comparison to blackletter. This typeface quickly spread across Europe.

Italics:

This was the next major innovation in typography. Italics is a slanted and stylized version of Roman type.

It was created by Aldus Manutius in the late 15th century in Italy as a way to fit more onto a page which saved money.

Now italics are interspersed in Roman type for emphasis. Aldus also created punctuation like the comma and semicolon.

Old Style:

Type development stayed stagnant until the 18th century in England. William Caslon created a new typeface which was way more legible than anything before.

The old style typeface has thick serifs on letters and a low contrast between thin and thick strokes.

Transitional:

A few decades later, John Baskerville created transitional, a new variety of typeface.

This typeface has thinner serifs on letters and a higher contrast between thick and thin strokes, an upgrade from old style.

Modern:

Later on, a Frenchman named Didot and an Italian named Bodoni created typefaces we now classify as modern.

A modern typeface has very thin serifs and a very noticeable contrast between thick and thin strokes.

Sans serif:

William Caslons great grandson , William Caslon IV decided to create an entire new typeface with no serifs , called sans serif. This didnt take off instantly , but it would eventually.

During the second industrial revolution advertisements found a need for new typefaces. Letters were made taller, bigger and bolder to be used on posters and billboards. From this we got the typefaces Egyptian and Slab serif.

Geometric sans

Futura:

The 20th century brought something alot simpler than the 19th , a new typeface names futura created by Paul Renner from Germany. It was based on simple geometric shapes.

Gill sans:

Around the same time as Futura, a British man named Eric Gill created a new typeface which was quite similar to geometric sans but had gentler, more natural curves. This is called humanist sans.

Helvetica:

The introduction of Helvetica started in Switzerland (1957). This typeface has simple curves and comes in a variety of weight, one of the most popular typefaces globally.

Typography changed forever with the introduction of the computer, for a while there was only pixel type but as computers developed, so did the fonts and now you can make or use any font in the world.