#we only had 1 class together in high school and 1 in middle school. I think?

[shikai-the-storyteller]

I miss my old high school friends and classmates o(-(

[chummywchimmy]

BOY IN LUV (Rewritten)

Chapter 1

PAIRING : Yandere! Bully! Taehyung x Reader

SUMMARY : Your encounter with the campus bad boy was a disaster. All you wanted was to never see him again. But when his punishing attention shifts to you, your world begins to change. When have things ever gone your way?

WARNINGS : Mature language, sexism, misogynist characters, eventual yandere

A/N - Hello everyone! As I promised, I am back. To get back into the groove of writing again, I decided to pick up my unfinished BIL fic. This will be uploaded in episodes, with a new chapter being uploaded every month (longer that this one). However, I will be uploading two chapters per month on my Patreon. So, for this month, for my Patreon subscribers, in addition to this chapter, chapter two and three will also be uploaded. If you can, please support my Patreon. Many thanks and enjoy!

MY PATREON

I do not own BTS ( :((( ) My intention is not to glorify toxic behavior nor do I believe BTS member would ever act like this. It’s just a figment of my imagination. Know the difference. Please.

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The crush of people at the underground subway should have felt suffocating, bleak even. Yet, your heart was filled with excitement. 

With your friend, Sam, by your side, you were moving towards your destiny. Gatford College. SAT’s through the roof-sky high tuition-home to cutting edge research-Gatford. Yes, slogging throughout your high school to achieve near perfect scores to qualify for a scholarship here had been worth it. 

“Just how many pens have you brought with you, geez.” Sam, rifling through your bag for your promised treat of homemade cookies, laughed at your over-preparedness. 

You laughed. “Hey, that’s all I could do last night. No way I could find any sleep with all this excitement.”

Talking over the crunch of the cookies, the two of you occupied a cramped corner of the train. 

As the train moved towards your deboarding station, Sam took her long hair out of the ponytail that it was seen, fluffing it up and pulling out a sheer lipgloss. Replying to your amused look, she said, “You promised our college life would be full of fun and romance if I worked hard on the SAT’s. Can’t blame a girl for wanting to look the part.”

Sam, unlike you, came from an upper middle class family, with a well earning father and a mother who could afford to stay at home. Unlike you, who could only afford to see the face of Gatford thanks to your scholarship, Sam had won a partial scholarship. The two of you had motivated each other with promises of parties, dates and all that came with being a young adult right out of school. Now that you were here, and together, you would join Sam in her fun loving and extroverted nature. 

Agreeing, you took hold of the pink gloss stick in her hands and swiped them across your nude color coated lips.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stepping into the marble foyer, you noted the silence of the hallways. The expensive kind of silence. This was no no-name college. 

White marble floor gleamed in your vision as your plain ballet flats stood in its contrast. Legacy kids in designer jackets breezed past you and Sam, looking sure and confident of the way, as they surely were of their way in the world. 

The elegant receptionist had sent the two of you with directions to reach the auditorium in the main building to attend the orientation. 

Reaching the ornate gates, you were greeted by a line of upperclassmen who were smiling at and introducing themselves to the newbies, with gleaming student council badges pinned to their lapels.

Finding yourself shaking hands with a petite, blonde girl decked out in a sleek black powersuit, you were happy to see that, unlike the intimidating first impression, the people of this college could be welcoming.

“Hello, I’m Nina! We are so happy to welcome you to Gatford. Please take the seats in the hall, the orientation is about to begin. Enjoy your first day.” Nina spoke enthusiastically and ushered you inside.

Taking your seats, you smiled at Sam. This wasn’t half bad. No, not at all.

—---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Oh this was very bad. 

By the time classes ended, you could barely keep your eyes open. Combined with barely getting any sleep last night, the overly filled class schedule left you feeling tired down to your bones. And you were scared. The professors seemed no-nonsense, strict and the coursework looked endless from your perspective. And to think that this was only the first day. Sigh. 

“Are you seriously planning to go the library right now, girl?” Sam deadpanned. “It is just the first day. Let’s go tour the campus a bit. Besides, you don’t honestly believe that all these kids would get by in here if the coursework was so demanding, right?”

Technically, she had a point. There were bound to be hard-workers born into every tax bracket but you couldn’t imagine your classmates struggling to fill up the library seats on the first day. 

You could live a little. You grinned at your best friend, “Let’s go.”

Stepping outside, the orange sky outlined your periphery as manicured lawns and vine covered gazebos filled your vision. Groups of students took up the space, chatting after a long day. Many of them held steaming cups of coffee.

As you and Sam moved towards the recreational area of the campus to grab a cuppa, you opted to go into one of the more modest looking coffee shops. Surely, coffee places with names you couldn’t even pronounce couldn’t be too good on your student budget. 

Before moving inside, you spied a poster stating, ‘Barista Needed!’. Well, you could make a mean latte and a few extra bucks close to campus could be good for you.

Collecting your paper cups, you left the shop feeling satisfied with your decision to apply for the vacancy. 

Sam chattered about her new puppy, with you cooing over his pictures and promising to visit to play with the little fluff ball.

“-and I kept on trying to teach him to- hey, what’s up with the crowd?” She wiggled her eyebrows towards the crowd forming near the parking area.

You joined the crowd of quiet onlookers and looked at the confusing scene. 

A boy, probably a freshman like you, stood with slouched shoulders, an expression of discomfort evident from his rapidly moving eyes and downturned face. 

You heard the laughter before you saw them. Not the friendly kind. It was sharp. Mean. The kind that made your skin crawl. Around the corner of the arts building, a group had gathered. Five boys in expensive sneakers and even more expensive egos. 

“C’mon, freshie. Rank the girls in your class. Who’s top-tier?”

“W-what?” the boy stammered.

“Top five girls in your class,” one of them said, grinning. “Don’t be shy. It’s tradition.”

The boy blinked rapidly. “I-I don’t know-”

“Don’t play dumb,” another chimed in. “It’s tradition. Call it… a rite of passage.”

Sam slowed beside you. “Are you seeing this? Are they seriously making him rate girls?”

“Looks like it,” you murmured, unease pooling in your gut. “God, that’s messed up.”

A ripple of laughter followed. You felt your stomach twist.

And then you saw him.

Sitting on the hood of the shiny black Mercedes parked behind them, legs crossed, uncaring of the dirt on his shoes’ soles dirtying the swanky car’s polish, phone in hand, a man sat, barely glancing up. He didn’t say a word, didn’t move, but the tension swirled around him like gravity.The others barked and jeered but they kept stealing glances at him, like checking if their king was pleased.

He looked amused. Not laughing. Just… entertained. Detached. He didn’t join the mockery. He didn’t have to. The others looked to him like dogs waiting for a nod. He gave nothing, just watched. Like this was beneath him but still his.

“Don’t stare,” someone muttered behind you.

You startled. Nina had stepped up beside you. She didn’t look at you, just kept watching the scene with a blank face. Compared to her cheerful demeanor from this morning, she looked timid, almost like she was withdrawing into herself. Similar was the case with everyone else in the crowd. Quiet, almost as if they were hypnotised.

“That’s Kim Taehyung,” she added. “You’re new, right?”

You nodded slowly.

“Then here’s a tip. Don't look twice. Don’t talk loud around him. And never, ever think you’re brave enough to play moral police.”

“What are they even doing?” you asked, voice low.

The senior gave a humorless smile. “Initiation. Harmless, compared to how bad it gets.”

“And no one reports them?”

She turned to you now, one brow raised. “To who, exactly? The dean? His dad funds half the board. You think rules apply to people like him?”

“They’re humiliating that kid,” Sam said through gritted teeth.

Nina gave her a look  not unkind, but tired. “You want to be a hero, go ahead. But just know, once he notices you, he doesn’t forget.”

Suddenly, the man in question looked up, his gaze clashing with yours, as if he could hear what was being said about him. 

Kim Taehyung’s gaze locked with yours across the courtyard. His dark eyes were unreadable. They were bottomless, almost. No anger, no joy. Just stillness. But something in them made your chest seize. Not because he looked cruel. Because he looked like someone who didn’t care if he was.

Cold. Flat. Watchful. The kind of gaze you’d expect from a predator when it’s not hunting, just observing lazily.

Your mouth went dry. Your skin prickled with the sudden, intense awareness of danger.

You looked away fast. Too fast. Like prey, with your legs carrying you forward before you even realized it.

“Hey-” Sam’s voice called from behind.

But you couldn’t stay there. Not with that gaze still burning between your shoulder blades.

“We should leave,” you mumbled, already turning.

Sam stayed a beat longer before following. “You know what creeps me out?” she said as you walked away. “He didn’t say a word. And yet, everyone else acted like he did.”

You didn’t reply.

Because the worst part wasn’t the silence.

It was the power in it.

Behind you, laughter echoed.

And Taehyung never said a word.

[smusherina]

yard work - chapter 11 (regina george x reader)

fandom: Mean Girls (all media)

pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader

summary: You'd been in the same class as Regina George since kindergarten. You'd lived on the same street even longer. Once upon a time, when life was sandbox disputes and who got the swing first arguments, you'd even been friends. Now, in junior year of high school, you doubted she even remembered you. The same couldn't be said about you. You definitely remembered her.

chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 3 / chapter 4 / chapter 5 / chapter 6 / chapter 7 / chapter 8 / chapter 9 / chapter 10 / chapter 12

Making the scrapbook was cathartic. Remembering the good times, the innocence of your childhood, was as much of a joy as it was painful. The pictures were all quite good quality since Abuela had had a film camera. Some photos had been taken with a digital camera, which had probably originally belonged to the Georges and ended up in your possession somewhere along the way.

Regina and yourself playing in the Georges' backyard and swimming in their pool, beaming smiles directed at the camera. You could almost hear the laughter. I miss when we used to be able to just have fun together like this. I guess it's a part of growing up.

Regina in a white frilly dress, carrying a small basket of flower petals, donning a crown of roses on her head. She was pouting, clearly unimpressed by the whole thing. You hadn't been at the wedding since it was a George event, but Regina's mom had been so elated her daughter had gotten to be the flower girl. I remember I was so jealous you got to go to a wedding and I couldn't. You hated it, though, which was funny. You used to leave the room whenever your mom insisted we watch the tape. I wonder if she still has it.

You sitting with Regina, hip to hip, on plastic chairs while a newlyborn Kylie slept in your laps. Regina, eyes stuck on her baby sister and a thoughtful look on her face, while you looked at the camera with a smile. She's growing up so fast. Don't think I don't know you care about her. There's gonna be a time you'll regret not spending time with her. I already feel it.

Mrs George, Abuela, Regina, Kylie in her mom's arms, and you grouped together at a parking lot. You and Regina had on little graduation gowns and had scrolls in your hands. Elementary school graduation. The summer before middle school. End of an era. I love your mom's clothes, they're so nineties. Does she still have those jeans? You should get ahold of them before somebody else does...

Remember when I sliced my hand open when we were peeling apples? That was a time for sure. I still have the scar!

You taped pictures onto the pages, wrote little things here and there, hoping the labour of your love wouldn't end up in the garbage. Or if it did, Regina would read skim through it first.

I think this album was the first time we agreed on music. Britney Spears really brought us together, huh? We even learned the choreography of Baby One More Time. Mrs George loved it. I bet there's a video of that somewhere.

Mostly the scrapbook was filled with anecdotes about your childhoods together. You did write a letter of sorts on the first page, regarding your intentions with the whole thing.

I made this for you to commemorate the good times we had. You know me regrettably well, so I think you know how I tend to hold onto things. I still have that gaudy pink Build-A-Bear you made me for Valentine's Day that one time. It's one of my most important possessions, only second to the memories we have together. You'll always be a friend to me, Reggie. If not forever, or from now on, then back then. I love you. Yours, Jorts.

You'd pretty much finished the whole thing by the end of the weekend. You spent Monday and Tuesday decorating the front cover, mostly because you purposefully put it off. You cut out letters from magazines and glued them there, painstakingly forming the words Reggie & Jorts. You'd tried to come up with something clever, but making a pun or a dumb joke felt like cheapening the whole album. A simple name made up for with fabulous decorations!

You weren't much of a painter, but you figured it'd be fitting if the album reflected its contents. It was fine if the roses you painted looked like a five-year-old did them. A good majority of the pictures featured you and Regina huddled around a crafts table, similar projects scattered all around you, young with clumsy hands but filled with artistic passion.

The album in itself was an earthy green colour, something Regina undoubtedly found ugly. The flowers brightened it up somewhat, but there was only so much ages-old acrylic paints could do. You outlined some with Sharpies. If you didn't know better, one could assume it looked like that on purpose.

You took it with you to school on Wednesday. You had it weighing your backpack down the whole day. You sweated under all your layers, and by the end of it, you were sure you were sporting some epic pit stains. Gross, but you were so nervous. You hadn't broken into anyone's locker in so long. And it was Regina George's locker.

You loitered around the hallways as they emptied out steadily, people heading home or off to extracurriculars. As you approached Regina's locker, you swallowed down your nervousness and got to work.

It wasn't hard. The combination locks were all old and weak, more of a formality than an actual barrier between one's stuff and a burglar. The lock clicked open easily and you wasted no time in stuffing your album inside.

"Hey!" Just as the resounding click of the lock going back into place came, a voice called out to you. "What are you doing with Regina's locker?"

"Uhh..." Gretchen Wieners stood at the intersection of hallways, hands on her hips and accusatory eyes burning holes in you. You made the swift decision that you did not have time for this. You booked it.

"Hey! Get back here!" Gretchen, surprisingly considering her heels, started after you. "What did you put in it? You cannot prank Regina, or- or, oh, was it a bomb?"

"It's not a bomb!" You shouted over your shoulder, sprinting towards the exit. The aggressive clacking of Gretchen's heels on the floors as she ran after you would surely haunt your nightmares. How could she even keep up with you?

"If it's not a bomb then what!" How was she closing in on you? It seemed like she was not even fazed by your little race, meanwhile, you were already winded. The exit was not that far away, but it felt like miles.

"It's Regina's business now! Ask her tomorrow at school or something!" The doors to freedom approached. "Stop chasing me!"

"Stop running!"

"No!"

You burst out and quickly hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Gretchen was still on your tail, but once she got to the top of the stairs shouted: "Karen! Tackle her!"

You hadn't even noticed Karen fucking Shetty. There was no not noticing her when the girl sprinted at you with perfect athletic form and squashed you like a linebacker.

You collided and flew into the snow. Better than the concrete of the footpath but it still hurt like a bitch.

"Get off of me!" You tried to get out from under her, but Karen was surprisingly dense. She was small but it was as if there were stones in her body instead of organs. "Fuck!"

"Keep her there, Karen, very good."

"Thanks!" Karen beamed, which was a much more common expression on her than the bloodlust she'd shown earlier.

"This has nothing to do with you." You snarled, still wriggling. "This is between Regina and me."

"Whatever's between Regina is between us," Gretchen said, all hoity-toity. "Now, tell me exactly what you put in her locker."

"A fucking photo album." You hissed, closing your eyes and clenching your jaw. What lie could you come up with? "Our families used to know each other. It's mostly pictures of her, so I just thought to... Return it."

"Oh, that's so nice!" Karen's hold loosened and you went to escape.

"Nuh-uh, not good enough." Just like that, Karen's weight slammed back down onto you. Your breath wooshed out of your lungs.

"What more do you want?" You wheezed out, getting sick and tired of this.

"Why was it in your possession?"

"I don't fucking know! It just was!"

"Hmm. And why couldn't you just give it to her?"

"You think that would've gone well, Gretchen? Seriously?" You turned your head with great effort, staring up at the girl. "Please, just let me go."

"I don't think I believe you." Gretchen squatted next to your head. "We're going back and checking it's what you say it is. And then you might be free to go."

"Fuck you." You hissed but made no move to book it when Karen hauled you up.

"That's not very nice." Karen pointed out.

"I don't want to be nice to Gretchen right now." You had no real issue with Karen, even if she had just tackled you.

"Oh, okay." You couldn't see her when she was holding your wrists behind your back, but you could imagine she was bobbing her head up and down like she was known to do.

You were walked back into the building, going mostly without a fight. Gretchen strutted along proudly as if capturing you was some great victory. Regina had trained her well. You weren't sure if that was impressive or just sad.

"Open it." Gretchen gestured once you were back at Regina's locker.

"I need my hands to do that." You helped out, smiling at Gretchen like she was stupid. Sputtering and offended, she instructed Karen to let go.

Instead of running like you should've, taking the chance you could get out if Karen didn't get a one-up on you, you obediently cracked the code again. Was it selfish that you kind of wanted others to know about you and Regina? Was it totally horrible of you to want to know it was real and have proof of that? Well, if it was, there was no helping it.

Gretchen snatched the album from the locker before you could even think to touch it. Karen sidled up to her, peering over her shoulder as she opened it.

You stood by, waiting for their judgement and looking at the ceiling. There'd been a water leak right there, based on the discolouration. Gross.

"You... You're J. J is for Jorts." Gretchen said. She sounded weird, like hollow or something. "J is for Jorts." She said again, breathy and disbelieving.

"What?" What the fuck was going on?

Karen spoke then. "She talks about J a lot. Like, a lot a lot. A whole lot." You nodded slowly as Karen went on. "J's like, her true love. It's so cute."

"J is not her true love, Karen! They are both girls." Gretchen pointed out. You had to agree. "Are they?" She looked you up and down judgementally.

"Yes. I am a girl." You said. It was true, you were female and around the age that it was acceptable to be referred to as a girl. Even so, it made you distinctly uncomfortable.

"Hmm." Gretchen didn't seem to believe you. Karen was busy cooing at the pictures of small Regina. It was sheer luck they hadn't bothered to read your writings.

"Look, can I go now? I know I'm busted, you're probably gonna confiscate the album, and Regina will never see it. Happy?"

"No. Karen, please put it back in the locker." Gretchen said, not taking her eyes off of you. Karen did as asked with a pout. "What is your relationship with Regina?" The album was back in the locker, but it hadn't been locked again.

"Nothing." And that was true. There was nothing there anymore.

"That's a lie and you know it. If you're J, then you've known each other at least since middle school. Based on the pictures, even longer."

"Who is J?" You asked in exasperation.

"Somebody who she has protected for years now. Somebody who is always better than we could ever be." Gretchen pointed between herself and Karen. "J is important to her."

"Okay, well, good for J, I guess."

"You're so infuriating." Gretchen sighed, pinching the skin between her eyes.

"You aren't the first to tell me that."

"Of course, because Regina has said that to you. Because you've known each other forever. Because you're J."

"Listen, I may look a bit butch, but I have a perfectly ordinary girl name."

"That is not the point!" She spoke fast and high-pitched. "You. It's you. You've been under our noses this entire time! Do you realize how much easier things could've been if you were around?"

"Excuse me?" Now, you were really lost.

"You're excused," Karen said cheerfully. You nodded to her in thanks.

"We could never be as good as you. It was like we were placeholders for the ultimate pretty girl she'd somehow let slip. And it's you. In a flannel and hoodie, ratty jeans, dirty shoes, no fashion sense to speak of. It's you." She said that last part with contempt.

You were reeling. Regina had talked about you to these two. Had compared them to you, cited that you were better. For years she'd done that. She'd never forgotten about you.

"Look, Gretchen, I'm sorry Regina's treated you badly." You'd lost the need to defend her, even still. Then again, even if you hadn't, there was little you could argue about with the two she'd tormented the most. "You can probably tell this is something Regina doesn't want coming out."

"What does that matter?" Gretchen asked, eyes far away and legs beginning to pace. "We could- could finally bring her down. Yes. We have J, we have everything she wants. She'll come grovelling."

You took a deep breath. You didn't feel angry, you were too tired to get angry at mean girls at this point. Besides, nobody could rile you up like Regina.

"You're wrong." You put it plainly. "What Regina's been doing to these people, to everyone around her, is wrong. But what I find despicable is how everybody is the same. I know her reasons, I can sympathise with her, but I can't say the same for you. So tell me." You paused to take a deep breath. "Why?"

"I'm not good at riddles, I'm sorry." Karen said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's okay, Karen, Gretchen can answer for you both."

"She deserves it." Gretchen said, steel in her tone.

"You sound just like Cady Heron and Janis 'Imi'ike. She hurt them too. What do you think ruining her life will achieve?"

"I'll be the new Regina George."

"Do you hear yourself? You still idolize her. If you're gonna be the new Regina George, it's always going to be a Regina George world. Don't you want to be Gretchen Wieners?"

"No!" She screeched. "Gretchen Wieners is lame, boring, too eager, a slut, desperate-" She took a deep breath.

"Okay." You said. "Why? Because Regina said so? Why would you believe her? She's just the same as you. Look," You pulled the album back out.

"Here we're in the Georges' pool. She would not go to the deep end. Y'know, she refused to even go in without those arm floaties for the longest time. Eventually, some boy made fun of her for them and that was the last time.

"And in this one we're driving back from summer camp. Regina was already tall enough to go without a booster seat, but I wasn't. She'd just thrown the biggest tantrum 'cause Mrs George didn't allow her to take off her seatbelt to sleep. She went out like a light, anyway.

"We're in Six Flags there. We'd just gotten those ice creams and you can see that Regina's isn't sticking to the cone all that well. Right after the shot, it just slid off. Regina was inconsolable. I offered her mine so we could share, and that seemed to be good enough for her but her dad was not having it. He threatened to take us home if she didn't stop crying right then, that it'd be all her fault that their whole family wasted money and time on this stupid trip. Eventually she calmed down and Mr George didn't have to drive us back."

You sighed. "I already tried this with Janis, in a way. I don't think Regina would appreciate me airing out her personal life like this, but... I don't know..." You closed your eyes for a moment. "I just want people to stop making things worse for her. She's been so wrong for so long, and I know I can't keep defending her, but I just don't think revenge will make her regret anything that she's done."

Karen hummed. "My auntie's been teaching me about karma. So, like, if she feels what she's made others feel, then won't that like... Fix her?"

"I don't want to hurt her." You said, resolute. "Maybe, it could be the most effective way to make her see her shortcomings. But I don't want to. I do not want to hurt her." You looked between the two. "And that's where we differ, I guess."

Gretchen didn't say anything, eyes glued to a picture from the Six Flags trip. Regina had mustard and ketchup smeared all over her face while she was holding a napkin to your lips, in the process of wiping your face.

With that, you snatched the album from her hands, deposited it back into the locker and slammed it shut. The lock clicked. Without a word, you began to talk towards the exit. Neither of them followed you or said anything to you.

You couldn't stop people from taking their revenge. You had done your best to be diplomatic. Evoking sympathy in hormonal teenagers wasn't something easily done, or maybe you were just shitty at it, but there was little else you could do. If you went ahead and retaliated, hurt them for hurting someone you cared about, the lines blurred.

You'd just be another mean girl.

Notes: Sorry for the delay! The next chapter will be the last one, unless I start rambling or something. After that, I'll do a less structured series of epilogues. Loosely related oneshots, that kinda vibe.

Also, my writing assistant stopped working in the middle of this, so if there's stupid typos I'll come fix them later.

I swear to fucking god if the taglist doesn't work I'll start breaking bones.

Taglist: @autorasexy, @wedfan2, @unadulterated-moron, @modernsapphicism , @9unknown0 , @sage-rose2000 , @massive-honkas , @nattys-swiftie , @likefirenrain , @luz-enjoyer , @dandelions4us , @natashamaximoff-69 , @alexkolax , @jareaul0ver , @here4theqts , @charleeeesworld , @natsbiggestfan1 , @brocoliisscared , @yellowwallflowers , @scarlettbitchx , @ayoungexwife , @cyberbonesworld , @syddie-reads , @screechcat , @theenglishswiftie , @gabby-duhh , @sweetmissnothing , @masterofpuppets-10 , @l1lass , @starved-mortal , @nothanksbye07 , @nenas19 , @jvuyii , @starry-night17 , @reneeswife24 , @glorioushamsterqueen , @krononan , @slug-on-bike , @rayisaknight , @chaseatlanticlover91 , @reginassweetheart , @mirage018

(this actually makes me angry. why. why doesnt it work. i type in the @ and then i type in the name and then it shows up in the lil' box and i click it but then it don't show up ;-;)

(this is cyber bullying. the cybers are bullying me.)

(anyway, if you want to be added to the taglist there is no gurantee if it'll work, but i'll add you if you want! just comment on this post :) if anybody has any ideas why it's like this, lmk!)

[tenjikyu]

Okay! With your earlier reply in mind, here is my second request *slides it across the nonexistent table*

I've been having major Mitsuya brain rot so obviously this request will be about him :>

Picture this: Final timeline adult Mitsuya doing all his fashion designing stuff x house spouse (gn version of housewife/househusband).

Genre can be fluff, maybe a bit suggestive if that's okay with you, I don't mind either way, I am just dying for some Mitsuya works cuz I swear I've read most of the gn and male reader x him fics out there and I am starving for new content with him

Hopefully this was coherent and had at least something you could work with (if you need anything more specific, I can send another request)

— 🎭

𝘋𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘍𝘶𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘏𝘶𝘴𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ mitsuya x GN!housespouce!reader , pure fluff n slightly suggestive but it’s nothing more then kissing, I 💗 mitsuya omg, still haven’t rewatched Tokyo rev I’ve been slack 🙁, short n sweet but I was struggling to finish it and I didn’t wanna keep the people waiting much longer so I do apologise.

౨ৎ ⋆｡˚ I’m so sorry for how long this took!! I desperately wanted to get this out before it hit the 1 month mark but I’ve been super duper busy with personal shit! Hope it’s still good enough lmao.

Takashi ironed the fabric with the upmost care, fondling the silk around the board with a low heat level on. The design itself was a dress resembling a lotus flower. The top was beaded with pale pink rhinestones and the bottom consisted with an array of green silks and gems. It had a sharp yet form fitting feel and anyone could tell the designer put the upmost love into the piece.

A gentle knock came from the other side of his work studio, and there was only one person it could be.

“Here darling, I made you some miso soup to have. Light enough it’ll keep you full but still good for dinner”, your voice charms his ears. Ever since moving in with him, you’ve taken on the role of housespouce. You clean and cook for him, in order to provide the best possible space for Takashi to work in.

It had been twelve years since the two of you got together in middle school. You were the schools vice president, and he was a gang member. Despite the opposite worlds, you hung out frequently and even babysat his sisters when he was unavailable. The day Takashi knew he wanted to some day marry you was the day he came home to his two younger sisters resting in your lap, washed dishes and comfortably lying on the futon.

Now, the two of you reside in an upper class place with lots of room for Takashi’s designs, and none of them are anything short of ethereal. Behind every design he creates, inspiration of you seeps through the thread and needle. Your favourite flower, animal, colour and styles all influence Takashi’s dresses and all of them are of the highest quality.

So, whenever you come into the studio, Takashi gives you a big grin and awaits a hug from his favourite partner.

“How’s your day, darling?” He asks you, and you smile gently at him.

“I’ve missed you, I can’t deny. It seems you’ve been locked in here forever”.

“I apologise my dear”.

“I know another way you can’t make it up to me..” you grin at him, and his cheeks flush with a pink hue.

Kissing his Adam’s apple gently, you guide him up and out of the studio, into your bedroom. Lying his cherished body onto the bed, you feel up his torso as you continue to litter him with small hickies.

He soon follows your lead, pressing a loving kiss to your cultivating lips. You swear there’s nothing closer to heaven than this man’s touch, and you’re convinced you’ve ascended as he grips your cheeks to deepen your kiss.

“I’ve missed you too, darling”, Takashi presses another kiss to your collarbone and manoeuvres his hands around your waist, and you sigh gently at his grip.

“I promise you I’ll give you what you want, after we eat dinner “, you giggle, and his pout is nothing short of cute.

“So you lead me to bed and suddenly leave me high and dry? I’m hurt baby”, he chuckles out, pressing one last kiss to the wedding ring on your finger.

“After dinner, I’ll give you all the desert you desire my love”.

[maxleyrosebud]

Max and Bradley Comparison - Part 1 : Max Goof reputation

In AEGM, Max Goof and Bradley Uppercrust the Third are Rivals in the College X games competition and are presented as opposites. But like most rivals in fiction , they often do have similarities and are meant to contrast well together as foils. 

In this series we're going to explore Max and Bradley as characters and what they might have in common with each other.

For Part One, Two and Three we are just going to focus solely on Max. So if you love Max or just wanna learn more about him then here ya go :D 

Max’s bad reputation 

In A goofy Movie , Max claims while singing that people have been laughing at him since he can remember and refers to himself as Maxie the geek and Goof of the week- “They’ve been laughing since I can remember, but they’re not gonna laugh anymore! No more "Maxie the geek"! No more "Goof of the week" like before!”

Other names that Max has been called by while growing up are loser , geek , goofball , dweeb , goof , dork etc. Here are some examples.

A Goofy Movie

“No more looking at Loser’s like him”- Highschool class mate

“It’s dork and dork Junior”- Kid making fun of Max and Goofy

Goof Troop episodes 

“Hey. Wild Rider’s not for Goofballs”- Butch 

“Hey Lardo, where’s your pal , the little goofball”- Tooth to PJ

“No dweebs on the Pharaohs turf”. - Duke

“I smell a couple of geeky dweebs”- Duke 

“And you. Don’t you let me catch you , lettin him make you look like a geek again!”-Pete to PJ

Not only has Max been laughed at and name called, but he has also had his allowance stolen from bullies like Leech and from a classmate named Tooth.

What makes this worse is that Goofy and Max aren't as financially well off like other middle class house holds , so Max getting his money taken away puts him in a worse situation compared to other kids who may have gotten their money taken too. 

“Sorry I don't have any lunch money on me but it’s saturday”- Max to Leech 

“That day , all I had was three quarters and a serious problem named Tooth. Big for his age? This guy would've been big for the stone age. His motto, pay up or get beat up.”- Max

“You mean the goofball whose money you always steal?” - PJ to Tooth 

At high school , it's also shown that Max's has had his lunch taken away.

Now , It’s bad enough that Max has experienced bullying from his classmates as a kid and as a teenager in high school. But as a 11 year old kid in the Goof Troop series , Max has also gotten bullied by actual adults such as Leech , Duke ( for six months ) and Butch. 

Even Pete to some extent as Pete got joy from telling Max that Santa Claus isn’t real and through out The Goof Troop show and A Goofy movie he doesn't even seem to care if he upsets or says anything negative towards Max in general. 

“(Laugh) Ain’t that quaint. The Goofbrain thinks there’s a Santy claus.”-Pete to Max

So overall , Max has experienced plenty of name calling and bullying. But one contributing factor as to why Max get’s picked on is because he is related to his dad Goofy. 

Max being seen like his Dad. 

Max truly does love his dad and Goofy is a really good loving person in general. But having Goofy as a dad can sometimes be a detriment to Max as Goofy acts rather goofy , absent minded and clumsy. This eccentric behavior causes mishaps and mayhem where people either get mad at Goofy like Pete or they laugh at his expense. 

These moments tend to make Max embarrassed or make him look bad for being related to Goofy. So when people compare Max to Goofy , Max often sees this as a negative thing and gets self conscious about being a goof like his dad. 

‘Queasy Rider’

When Goofy is playing Wild rider , he accidentally smashes the arcade machine into all the other arcade machines. Butch then makes fun of Max for taking after his dad. -“Like Father , like goofball.”

‘Meanwhile , back at the ramp‘

Max doesn't think he looks like his dad but PJ disagrees and makes fun of Max for being like Goofy. This in turn makes Max annoyed and frustrated by the comparison.  

“I can’t believe you don't see it , Max! You look just like your dad!”- PJ

“Uh , I got an idea , toadstool.”- Max

“What?”- PJ

“You promise not to say that again , and I promise not to rearrange your earlobes.”-Max

“Say what? ( Mocking tone ) You look just like your dad?- PJ

“Death! That’s it!”- Max

“But you do!”- PJ

(Angry face before Max collects his composure) …

“Peej , let’s try this one last time, OK? Look at these ears. Nothin like my dad’s! Hey , look at my hair! Ditto! My chin , my eyes! Totally , totally different! PJ I’m nothing like my dad!- Max

( Max Falls of the skateboard ramp) 

“Hahahaha. Yeah! Right , Max-o. You and your dad even fall alike!” ( PJ continues to laugh)

“Cork it PJ!”- Max 

Then Later in the same episode after Pete calls Max a goof like his dad when he doesn't want Max using his skateboarding ramp, Max is pretty down by the comment and when Goofy tries to see what the matter is , Max admits that it bothers him that he is seen as a Goof like Goofy. 

“Well , if someone said you always goofed things up, what would you do?”-Max

“I usually do goof things up” - Goofy

“But , say you were related to that person?” - Max    

“It wouldn't bother me” - Goofy    

“But if it did bother you-” Max 

“Wait a minute, Max. What’re you getting at?” - Goofy    

“Pete! He said you’re a goof and I’m just like you!”-Max 

By the end of the episode , Max does accept that he looks like his dad but despite what he goes through in the episode , Max still doesn't want to be compared to his dad all that much. 

“Ah-hyuck! He’s just a chip off the old block! - Goofy referring to Max

“A small chip! Well actually , more like a…Splint. No , no , no, maybe sawdust”. - Max  

'A Goofy Movie' 

When Goofy dresses Max in a life jacket and fishing gear for the road trip , he states that Max looks just like him when he was his age but Max tells him not to say that. 

“You look just like I did at your age.”-Goofy

“Please don’t say that, Dad.”-Max

Then when both Max and Goofy are at Lester’s Possum Park , Goofy dances with Max but because everyone is laughing at them so much Max wants Goofy to stop as it’s embarrassing and he doesn't want to be laughed at.

When they finish ,a little boy then comes over and refers to Max and Goofy as Dork and Dork Junior , causing Max to look hurt by the comment and everyone to laugh more.

Max then angrily storms off and wants to try and get away from Goofy. 

‘The House of Mouse’

Another example of Max not liking to be compared to his dad is in ‘The House of Mouse’ tv series where in one episode, a Teenage Max takes the same Job Goofy has.  ( It’s a separate piece of continuity to the canon timeline of the Goof troop show and Goofy movies but I wanted to mention it anyway as a example of Max’s characterization) 

“Ah Max,that’s Great! Like Father like Son.” -Mickey

“I wish you wouldn't say that”-Max 

But it's not just bullies or Max’s classmates that make Max feel bad about being related to Goofy. Pete, who is supposed to be Goofy’s best friend , makes it very clear to Max on occasion that even being related to a Goof is a bad thing. 

‘Everything’s coming up Goofy’ and ‘Good neighbor Goof’

When Max first moved to Spoonerville and became friends with PJ , Pete wanted Goofy to not be his neighbour and therefore was against the idea of his son being friends with Max. However despite his objections to it, PJ still hangs out with Max and when Pete finds out he tells PJ that bad things will start to happen if he is friends with a Goof. 

“I’d recognize that paint-stealing stench anywhere. I smell a goof! I knew it! Goof mud! And it’s fresh! You’ve been hanging around that goof kid , haven't ya? Well , don’t you know what’ll happen if you get their germs on you? Why , your brain will shrink to the size of a mustard seed! Strange words will start creeping into your vocabulary, word’s like Gawrsh and Ah-hyuck, Ah-hyck. Ooh, and then you’ll do dumb things and then when you try to remember them , you can’t , because you’re too dumb.”- Pete 

“But…”-PJ

“No buts , boy! You just steer clear of that kid. And get out of those goof-infested clothes! Now!”-Pete  

Pete says this not knowing that Max is hanging outside the window , but regardless ,  Max still hears how negatively Pete feels about Max being a Goof. This in turn makes Max silently cry about what he just overheard.

It’s unclear if people had insulted Max for being a goof before he moved to Spoonerville , but it’s clear from this interaction that Max now understands that being a Goof is a negative association to have. 

‘Meanwhile , back at the ramp‘

After Max tries to skate on Pete’s skating ramp, Pete angrily says to Max’s face that he is a carbon copy of his dad.-“Beat it , Kid! You’re just a carbon copy of your old man anyway. A goof!”

'Mickey’s Once Upon A Christmas' 

When Max believes in Santa Claus like Goofy, Pete makes fun of this and mocks Max for having the Goof gene.  

“(laugh) Like father , like Goof. Kid’s got the Goof gene coursin through his bloodstream.” - Pete

So for most of Max’s life he has received negative remarks from being Goofy’s son and for being a Goof in general.  

It’s why as a teenager in 'A Goofy Movie'  , he has a nightmare of becoming a spitting image of his dad and why Max is self conscious of having the same laugh as him.

To Max, he's scared that being anything like his dad will make him unliked and ostracized, hence why he hides his laugh and runs away from Roxanne when she hears it for the first time. 

Max wanting a fresh start at College 

In AEGM Max thinks going to College will allow him more independence and that he will no longer have to deal with his dad’s well meaning smothering over him- “Do you realize what going off to college means. No more well-meaning but totally smothering , over protective , doting , ah-yucking dad’s?”. But another reason as to why Max is looking forward to college is so he can have the chance to become popular from winning the X games - “Hey , we have a sure fire way to shoot straight to the top of the freshmen heap. The College X games.”

Due to Max being Goofy’s son in the past , Goofy has been one of the contributing factors as to why Max has been given a negative reputation . So now that Max is going to College where Goofy won't be around anymore , no one will be able to associate Max with Goofy as no one at college will know who Goofy is or that Goofy is his dad. 

To Max , College will be a clean slate where he can have a fresh start without anyone comparing him to his dad and everyone can only judge him based on his own merit. He can just be seen as Max and only Max for a change. 

But when Goofy arrives at College and barges into Max’s class room , Max literally starts freaking out.  He screams out loud at the sight of Goofy.

Starts rubbing his face in a dazed panic saying "oh no" repeatedly to himself.

Then when Goofy spots him , Max grabs and shakes Bobby to kill him as he doesn't want to experience what is happening. 

Goofy then walks over to a panicked looking Max , sits next to him , shows of his afro wig and tells everyone that Max is his son.

This of course makes everyone in the room start to laugh and Max’s expression is of pure horror.

He then screams “NOOOOOOOOO” at the top of his lungs while sitting on top of his desk covering his eyes.

(I know we all say Bradley needs therapy but honestly, Max could probably benefit from some therapy too couldn't he? )  

It’s almost like Max is having a panic attack or going through anxiety, as in this moment Max is worried that he will gain a negative reputation again for being Goofy’s son and will continue to get embarrassed by his antics. 

But there’s nothing Max can do to stop Goofy from attending College now as Goofy needs a degree to get a job. All he can do is tell Goofy that they need some ground rules. First being for Goofy to get rid of his wig as in Max’s words it’s scaring people but really it’s making Max look bad for looking uncool. 

Goofy gets the sense that Max is worried about being at College so tries to assure him that two goofs are better than one but Max isn’t pleased by this and puts more emphasis on their surname Goofs ,  like it's a bad thing. This is either because he doesn't want both of them at college or because Max is starting to associate himself with being a Goof as a bad thing again.  

“I know you're worried it might be hard to get into the swing of things around here. And well, it might be. But I figure two Goofs are better than one.”- Goofy

“Two ‘Goofs’ alright”- Max 

Max being self critical of himself

Due to Max being unpopular and being compared to his dad so negatively , Max tends to self loath on occasion and wishes he could be seen as someone who is cool instead of someone uncool so he can be perceived by everyone more positively. 

‘Queasy Rider ’

After Goofy plays poorly on the video game and knocks over the arcade machines , Goofy takes Max home to make cupcakes. But due to this embarrassing ordeal of looking bad in front of Butch and everyone else , Max thinks he is doomed to be a dweeb. 

“I hear those cupcakes a-callin!”-Goofy

“Doomed to be a dweeb”-Max 

Then once Max is at home , he mopes around in his garage and is self conscious of the fact that he will remain uncool and that this won't ever change. 

“C’mon, Max-o. You can’t hide in your garage forever.”-PJ

“Look,PJ. The world is divided into two groups. The cool guys and everybody else. Butch is cool, I’m everybody else.”- Max  

‘Leader of the Pack’

When Max finds out that his cousin Debbie is going to have his room when she stays over , he complains that it’s bad enough that he's a dweeb due to Duke not letting dweebs in the Behemoth burger restaurant but now he has to suddenly give his room up for one. 

“No. Not bad enough I gotta be a dweeb. Now I gotta give my room to one.”-Max 

‘Talent to the Max’

When Max can’t do any of his magic tricks right , he thinks pretty low of himself and starts to think he's not capable of obtaining fame and fortune for himself.-“No talent , no show. Fame and fortune , yeah right. I can’t even play the harmonica”

‘Educating Goofy’ 

Refers to his life as pathetic. - “Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe dad’s not intentionally trying to destroy what’s left of my pathetic life.” 

As a kid , Max’s self loathing isn’t too much of a problem as overall he has a confident go get attitude and plenty of spunk. But when Max is a teenager in high school he is seen as more moody by his dad and his self loathing goes up to a whole nother level where he is more critical of himself.  

A Goofy Movie 

When Max waves hi to Roxanne but she doesn't see him , he thinks she saw right through him but doesn't blame her for this as he thinks so low of himself. 

(singing) “She looked right through me! And who could blame her? - Max 

Later in the movie , Max criticizes himself for not being able to talk to Roxanne properly and for laughing like his dad Goofy. Even calls himself a spaz. - “I can’t believe I did that! She finally says "hi" to me and what do I do? I choke! Uhyuck! Like a big spaz!”

Then when Max thinks he messed up his chance to impress Roxanne with his powerline performance , he calls himself a failure and a Loser. - “ I’m a failure, complete loser! My one chance to impress Roxanne and I blew it.”-Max

Max however is successful in getting a date with Roxanne but later on has to cancel due to his dad taking him on a surprise fishing trip. So when Max goes to Roxanne’s house to tell her the bad news, Max once again thinks badly of himself - “You get and cancel your first date in less than an hour. Must be some kind of lame-o record. ” 

Later in the movie when Max and Goofy are at Lester’s Possum Park , Max refers to his life as a living hell but is cut off by the Possum costume guy saying hello before he can say hell. 

“My life’s a living ”- Max

“Hello , little Buddy”-Possum costume guy

AEGM 

When Max doesn't do well at the qualifying rounds, he doesn't think his friends would want him on the team and is self critical that they are starting in last place because of him. 

“You don't want me on the team anyway. I lost at my best event.”-Max

“If I can’t even beat my father. Who is probably the most athletically-challenged man in the universe, how can you expect me to beat the other competitors? We’re starting in last place because of me!”-Max 

Max doesn't like feeling inferior to others 

During the Goof Troop show , A goofy Movie and AEGM , Max has had moments of feelings inferior to others. 

‘Queasy Rider’  

When PJ says Butch is one cool dude for getting the high score on “Wild Rider” , Max feels challenged by this comment to show PJ how much cooler he is compared to Butch -“You wanna see coo-el? Watch me.”-Max 

‘Buddy Building’ 

Leech decides to pick on Max and PJ but they are both saved by Coopy Hatchback. Max thanks Coop but remarks “Not that I couldn't handle a wimp like Leech myself.” Then when Coop and PJ start bodybuilding together , Max is insecure about his own mussels and thinks Coop will replace him as PJ’s best friend if he is not musicalar like Coop - “If I don't grow some muscles fast , I’m gonna lose my best bud.”

‘Educating Goofy’

Due to Pete getting in Max’s head , Max starts to believe that Goofy is trying to ruin his life when Goofy attends his school and starts getting a better life and reputation compared to Max. Here are some examples form the episode.

Goofy gets nominated for student body president. But Max had wanted to get nominated. - “But I was supposed to be nominated.”

Max wanted to join Carlos and Bob’s club but they want to give it to Goofy instead even though they said Max could before.. 

“Ah,Max , we’re gonna ask your old man to join our club.”Bob

“What about me? You said I could join.”-Max

“Uh Sorry Max. But we only have one jacket. Um maybe next year”-Carlos 

Two of Max’s classmates call Goofy cool and make Goofy’s laugh into a Fad. 

“Hey,Max. Your dad’s sure cool. Ah-hyuck!”- Girl 1

“Yeah, totally. Ah-hyuck!”-Girl 2

“What’d you guys say?”-Max 

“It’s a new fad. Have a nice , ah-hyuck day!”-Girl 1

Later PJ knocks on Max’s door and Max assumes he’s there to see him to play Baseball but PJ is there to see Goofy instead. (This part was so out of character for PJ but I’m obligated  to mention it as it was in the episode.)

“Hey, Peej. I'll be right with ya.”-Max

“Yeah,yeah. Whatever. Actually , I’m here to see my best friend.”-PJ

“Huh?”-Max

“Sorry I’m late Peej.Ah-hyuck! Just oiling up my mitt. ( Falls down stairs ) Gawrsh! Must have gone a little too heavy on the 10w-30 Ah-yuck!”-Goofy 

“Yeah, I guess so. Ah-hyuck! See ya , Max”-PJ

( After PJ and Goofy leave) “I thought I was your best friend.”-Max  

Because of all this , Max wants to beat his dad at the spelling bee. - “It’s not fair! Dad’s tryin to ruin me! He’s gettin better grades , gettin better friends! But I’m not goin down without a fight. No siree. Ill beat dad at something.” 

'A Goofy Movie' 

During the assembly , Max see’s Chad asking Roxanne to the party and so Max becomes more nervous before he is about to perform and asks Bobby how it’s going with the equipment as he feels like he's running out of time.

Then later in the movie when Max tries explaining to a disappointed Roxanne why he can’t go with her on their date to the party , Roxanne tells him that she can try and find someone else.

“I’m sure I can find someone else”- Roxanne

“Someone else?” - Max

This in turn devastates Max and so in a panic of not wanting her to go with somebody else, lies about seeing Powerline’s concert in LA instead of going fishing with his dad. 

AEGM - Bradley 

When outside the Gamma Frat house , Max is looking at Bradley in awe with Bobby and PJ. But after Bobby and PJ gush about Bradley being the College X games King , Max looks at them with a frown before responding with a smile by saying - “Yeah , until we take the crown” 

Then during the scene where they are all skateboarding to the bean scene , PJ tells Max - “Cheek it out. Look who’s following us.” After Max see’s that it’s Bradley and the Gamma’s, Max responds with a smile while saying “Let’s just make sure it stays that way” as he wants Bradley and the Gamma’s to keep following him around instead of the other way around. 

Additionally , when Max and Bradley have their conflict in the Bean scene Max proclaims “Then will dethrone you and the Gamma’s your royal lowness. You’d be lucky to even be my towel boy” after Tank tells Max not to forget that Bradley is the King.

In this moment , Max is trying to make himself look better in comparison to Bradley as he is feeling challenged and doesn't want Bradley thinking that he is better than him.    

AEGM - Goofy 

Max doesn't feel like there's enough room for two goofs when Goofy becomes a more popular Skateboarder than him and steals his limelight. Even decides to transfer to a different college as a result of this. 

Max to Goofy before their midterm - “This campus just isn’t big enough for the both of us” 

Max to his friends in the bean scene” - “I’ve decided this school’s only big enough for one Goof. I’m transferring outta here.” Bobby however makes Max come to his senses and continue to compete by making a point that Max will let the people who once cheered for him, cheer for his own dad instead - “You wanna let the crowd who once cheered for you cheer for someone else? Especially when that someone else is your old man!”

It just goes to show that despite Max having such an easy going and cool demeanour that deep down , he is someone who is self conscious about how he is perceived by others and doesn't want to look inferior or be replaced. 

For now this is all I'm going to say about Max until Part 2. I know this was a little angsty and long to read but it will all be relevant and Part 2 and 3 won't be so long compared to part 1.

In Part 2 will be exploring Max's lower class background which will be out tomorrow :)

[gators-aid]

decode (pt. 1) - toji f. x reader

masterlist | part two.

previously titled: leave us

you and toji fushiguro have been in an on-again-off-again relationship all throughout high school. over the summer break after graduation, you find out you're pregnant. too bad toji has already skipped town after your last breakup.

tags: fem!reader, childbirth (not explicit), cheating, gun violence, mention of domestic abuse (not between toji & reader), teen pregnancy (reader and toji are both 18-19 range), mentions of abortion, mentioned that toji sold drugs, americanized setting, non sorcerer universe, 00's setting, reader is megumi's mom, toji initially denies megumi is his, i aged up gojo, geto, and shoko so you can have some frens, exes to lovers (eventually), their relationship is toxic rn, not beta read we die like toji :(

wc: 2.3k

You knew your chances of making it out of this town were slim, but in the back of your mind you had always hoped that you would be one of the lucky few. Finally, you had made it to high school graduation without dropping out or being shot, but you did not make it out unscathed. 

Pregnant.

You didn’t find out until the summer after graduation, when you were still working out financial aid and payment plans with the money you had saved up working at a local diner for the past three years. Toji had already skipped town by then. It stung a little. Learning from his older brother that he had packed up in the middle of the night and left without so much as a goodbye was almost worse. Even though you broke up weeks before graduation, of course he had to throw in one more wrench in your life while he could.

It didn’t truly sink in until you told your mother. Your mother, who was so excited for you to get out of this town since she couldn’t. Who vowed to help you out with tuition payments to get you through school. It wasn’t until you saw her disappointed face that you became angry. Not only at Toji, but at yourself.

She had always warned you about Toji. How he was good for nothing, bad news, just a bomb waiting to go off. You, maybe too young, maybe blinded by love, brushed off her concerns. When he had to go to juvie for a couple months for an assault charge, you stuck by him until he got out. Filling his commissary account with the measly tips you earned from work when his family wouldn’t. Visiting him at every possible opportunity, even though the bus ride to the detention center was a three hour round trip. When he was shot in the shoulder and came to your window bleeding in the middle of the night, and you had awoken her, terrified to death that your boyfriend would bleed out in your bed. He refused to go to a hospital, meaning you and your mom had to stitch him up with rudimentary sewing skills. When he left a couple days later, you had sobbed into the bloody sheets your mom was helping you throw out. When you and Toji broke up for the first of many times, you had cried into her shirt for days on end. You ignored it all, and came crawling back to him every time. 

The first time was because he had cheated on you with a girl in the class above you two. She was older, more confident, more experienced. You had to find out through word of mouth when a friend of a friend had seen them making out at a party you had to ditch for work. At that point, you two had only been together for a couple of months. Probably a bad omen and a warning for how the rest of this relationship would go. You cheated on him with one of his (now ex) best friends to get back at him. You were both young and were each other’s first everything. You had no idea how to navigate a relationship’s complexities, especially one as serious and tumultuous as the one you two had. It only took a bouquet of roses and an apology to get you to come back (in addition to that one dude getting his ass beat).

There was another time when you two had gotten into an argument over his attitude that escalated into a breakup. It was triggered when he had smart mouthed you about a simple comment you made, to which you threw his cheating in his face and you two began to insult each other for the rest of the night. When you arrived home two hours after curfew that night, your mother just held you until you stopped crying.

Your final breakup, the one before graduation, was simply because you were terrified for him. He was selling drugs, and you could see him looking over his shoulder every time you two went out in public. You gave him an ultimatum, and clearly he hadn’t chosen you. He was in too deep, and you didn’t want to have him showing up shot at your house again. Or worse. 

You should have listened to your mother. It was all too much for high school kids. He could bring out the worst in you, but you figured that's just how it was here. You couldn’t count how many of your best friends had abusive boyfriends, abusive parents, lost loved ones to gun violence or something worse. Toji had never laid a hand on you, had never even threatened too, so at the time you thought you had it pretty good. 

But Toji wasn’t all bad. He had his flaws, had done some fucked up shit, but you had never felt more safe in your life than when you were with Toji. He wasn’t affectionate in public, but in private, his favorite thing in the world to do was caress your hair until you both fell asleep. He loved to sneak into your bedroom window after your mom went to sleep just to hold you until you drifted off. When you’d pull doubles almost every weekend at the diner, Toji would bring you food from your favorite restaurant, and you two would eat in his beat up pickup truck until you had to get back to work. When you would visit him in jail for those couple of months, he always had a drawing or an art project made as a gift for you to leave with. For your first christmas together, Toji bought you a beautiful gold necklace that you hadn’t taken off a single time until graduation. 

He put you head and shoulders above every other person in his life. He didn’t like to talk about his parents, but you knew they had given him the permanent scar on his lip in his youth. His brother was grade A asshole #1, and the uncle that he was placed with after a lengthy CPS investigation when he was twelve treated him more like a burden than a person. Toji clung to you. When it all got to be too much, and he was scared you would hurt him too, he would lash out. 

And now there was Megumi. Years ago, when graduation was far away and you and Toji were in a good phase, you two had a conversation about what you would name your kids. 

“Mmm.. I think I’d like to name her Megumi," he had stated. You two were in your room, whispering to each other as he had snuck in that night. 

“And if this hypothetical child were a boy?”

He paused for a second and thought. You giggled at his face as he took longer to ponder. “Probably still Megumi.” He had finally said. 

“Can I ask why that is?” You traced the lines of his bare abs under the covers.

He chuckled and leaned to hover above you on the bed. “Because if we have a child together, it’s a blessing for me either way, mama.”

He sure didn’t act like it. 

It was a cold day in December when you gave birth to Megumi. He came almost a month early, nearly a week before Toji’s birthday. You had wondered, when your mind wasn’t clouded with pain, what Toji was doing as you laid there in the worst pain you had ever felt in your life. Maybe he was out somewhere celebrating his birthday early. Maybe he was dead on the side of some road. You didn’t know, but you couldn’t afford to think about it too much. 

But when Megumi was born, you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but love him more than anything in the entire world. 

When you found out you were pregnant, you would have aborted if you weren’t three months along. If you hadn’t had your friends at that time, you don’t know where you’d be today. Gojo, Geto, and Shoko had all grown closer to you after that summer. Some people you never expected to see after graduation became your lifelines. You guys had been friends in school, sure. Shoko was even the one to tell you about Toji’s cheating. You guys had never been close until the three of them saw you at work and started cooing over your baby bump. 

While your mom was the only one in the room during Megumi’s birth, those three waited outside for hours until they could meet your son. 

The moment Megumi was placed on your chest, and you had let go of your mother’s hand for the first time in hours, you knew that Megumi was the absolute love of your life. You would do anything for him. 

Over the course of your pregnancy, you hadn’t tried once to reach out to Toji. You were too hurt and angry to want anything to do with him. After Megumi was born, and you found yourself in your childhood bedroom with a crib in the corner, you decided you didn’t want Megumi to grow up without knowing his father, even if said father was a piece of shit. 

So you had called Toji. It was one in the morning. You had just put Megumi down for the third time that night and stepped outside onto the porch to dial Toji’s number. It had been almost a year since you had last heard from him. You didn’t fully expect him to pick up.  

“Hello?” you heard.

For a second, you couldn’t say anything. Frozen over hearing his deep voice for the first time in forever. Realizing just how much you had missed him. His voice was cold, but it was still his voice. You almost didn’t notice when you began to sob. 

“Y/N?” he asked, a bit frantic at the sound of you crying. “What’s going on? Are you ok?” For a moment you couldn’t catch your breath, almost gasping for air. “Answer me mama, what’s going on?” It took you a couple more minutes before you could compose yourself.

“Yes.. I’m sorry. I’m okay. I’m just..” 

It was silent from a moment. 

“Why are you calling me?” His panic from earlier completely dissipated, he was back to a monotone pattern of speech. You paused. Leaning up against the door to your mother’s house. Contemplating how to tell this man, who, if you’re honest, is probably the love of your life, that he has a son. 

“I, um, I have something to tell you.” You kicked a pebble off the porch and watched a car drive by. Toji said nothing, willing you to go on. 

“I… I gave birth last month..” you said. You could feel your nervous energy manifesting in the finger nail you began to chew on. “You have a son..”  It was cold outside, you gripped your sweater, one of Toji’s old ones, tightly around you and sat on the porch steps. You could see every bated breath in the frigid air.

For a moment there was nothing. It felt like forever, waiting for him to respond. Then he laughed. A cold, distant laugh. “How in the hell am I supposed to know if your kid is mine? I haven’t seen you in a year, I don’t know what the fuck you got goin’ on.” 

He was pushing you away, probably scared. You knew that. But you weren’t mature enough to call it out. You were emotional, vulnerable, and now you were angry. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You whispered into the phone. “Do you realize you ruined my whole life? Left me here without a word, all alone? Now you wanna… what.. Try to claim I was cheating on you or some shit?” As you spoke, your voice pitched higher and higher, rage building. 

“Who said anything about cheating?” He laughed. “You could’ve made your way around after you broke up with me. That’s your business.” You could hear people’s voices in the background, a woman said something to him on the other side, to which you could hear him distantly tell her to lay off. 

There were the tears again but this time they were of rage. “So you get to go out clubbing, leave this town, leave me, and when I call you to tell you about your own… your son, you wanna call me a liar?”

“Left you?” This was the first emotion other than indifference or arrogance you could hear in his voice. Anger. “You left me. Don’t push that shit on me. I don’t owe your ass nothin’.”

“I left you because you were selling fucking drugs, Toji. After I had asked you, I begged you to stop. You chose that over me. You. left. Me. Seems like I made the right fucking decision because I’m not having my fucking baby around that shit. Around you.” By this point, you were practically yelling. You moved from your position on the steps to a corner of the porch closer to your house, pacing as you argued.

He laughed, “That’s perfectly fine with me, I don’t wanna be around some other dude’s baby, not my responsibility.” 

Your teeth grinded back with every word. “I’m glad you think that way, Toji, because he won’t ever be around you. It’s fucking-” your voice cracked. “better that way.” 

“What you fucking call me cryin’, trying to push some random fucking baby on me but I’m the fucking bad guy? Fuck off. Dates don’t match.” 

“I’m not explaining myself to you, fucking asshole. Have a nice fucking life. I’m done with you.” You hung up before he could respond. 

For a second you just stood there, watching your cold breath linger into the night. Then, you leaned against the side of the house and slid down to the ground. 

No more crying over Toji Fushiguro. You won’t let yourself. You won’t give him another thought. You and Megumi will be just fine. 

please let me know how you felt about this story! i plan to post the next part super soon! send me prompts and asks if you want too!! this is my first fic in this fandom and also the first time i've written in years, so forgive the clunkiness!

also let me know if i missed any tags!

thank you <3

[karmacharmeleon18]

I've seen you talk about Kevin and other things (I totally agree, and I love your analysis). I'd like to know what you think about Jeremy and your analysis of him and Jean (I love them).

By the way, I get the impression that Leo and Kevin are a "parallel" in terms of men that Jean and Jeremy will overcome to be together. Leo sold Jeremy for a car (a means of transporting him wherever he wants, something for his freedom). We can understand that Kevin "sold" (or rather, sacrificed) Jean to gain his freedom as well. It wasn't a sellout per se, but yes, I think there's a parallel here.

Jeremy and Jean have been betrayed by people they loved. And yet, they've continued to acquiesce, to a certain extent, in their continued mistreatment. Kevin would undoubtedly "sell" Jean again to escape as well (even if the fandom doesn't want to see it).

What are your thoughts on this?

I think that, at the same time that Jeremy tells Leo to fuck off, Jean will tell Kevin to fuck off (I don't think these two will still be in touch when this is all over, I'm pretty sure of it).

Omg I’m so sorry I didn’t answer sooner but I didn’t get a notification 😭 now I’m logged on my laptop and making my way through all the stuff the app didn’t show me and this is 5 DAYS OLD??????? I’m so sorry and thank you for your patience!

I’m going to split this into sections because my brain feels fried tonight and I need some order lol

Jeremy

Jeremy Knox (Moreu🤞🏾) my beloved ❤

I adore Jeremy, I would kill for Jeremy, I would die for Jeremy, I would live for Jeremy (I am secretly Jean Moreau)

But! I don't talk much about him because there's just so. much. we. don't. know. He is so sunny and yet so closed-off, his family is so big, so complicated

What do you mean we don't even know what Joshua's text said?

What do mean we don’t even know when his parents got divorced exactly and his family started unraveling?

What do you mean all the sex scenes are fade-to-black and barely described because Jeremy might be disassociating the whole time?

What do you mean he might be suicidal but we only got one throwaway half-sentence about it?

Figuring out one Jeremy Knox is hard as shit

So for the most part, I just go along with Jean's opinion of him lol the more their relationship develops, the more they interact, the more I see Jeremy

And not because Jeremy only exists as part of JereJean, but because Jeremy is just so inscrutable on his own

So I collect every little tidbit, every little clue, every morsel like a little raccoon from Jean's POV (which includes Cody's and Cat's and Laila's words and opinions on Jeremy) to try and figure him out

Like Cody saying that you did not want to cross freshman (on drugs) Jeremy

Was it because he was on drugs? Or was Jeremy always a bit of an asshole, and the drugs just accentuated that?

Realistically, Jeremy grew up as a rich white boy in 2000s White Supremacy Land (🦅🦅🦅). It makes sense that even before the drugs, he was probably the classic stereotype of a rich kid: arrogant, carefree, fucking around (literally) and finding out without a care in the world because he knew he always had a comfortable cushion to fall back on if things went sideways

We don’t know exactly when Mathilda married into the Wilshire family, but I assume Jeremy was in middle school? Start of high school? But even before that, Mathilda is a doctor, and considering how snobbish she is, she probably comes from a good upper-middle class if not rich rich family herself, her mother was a popular actress (though that can mean everything and nothing, because in the past being a famous female lead wasn't necessarily enough to make you super rich)

(It would be so interesting to see what compelled her to marry a military man and have 5 kids with him… a bout of teenage rebellion? Or were they high school sweethearts and then he decided to join the Army? Or maybe she does not come from money, actually, and only after she got a taste of what life with money could be like she decided to move on from him)

As a teen Jeremy wasn’t particularly guarded with his sexuality, to the point that most people in high school knew he was gay in early 2000s USA. Was it because he knew the power of the Wilshire family? That one donation would make any scandal go away? That no one would dare lay a hand against him, no matter how strong their bigotry?

Teen Jeremy clung to the Knox name, to the idea of their family, but he still undoubtedly benefited from being associated with the Wilshires. And still does, considering it was only thanks to a 7 figure donation to USC that part of the banquet scandal was covered up, ensuring that he could still be a Trojan, which led up to the story as it is today, with him being the captain of the team

Jeremy has a lot of privilege. And it comes at a very high price: his freedom

This is what drives me insane about Jeremy and Jean, outwardly they couldn’t be more different as people, and yet their circumstances and their darkest thoughts about themselves are so similar

They are so similar afhabkadjsbfasj

Really cute and fitting art by @bananakeiky that encapsulates JereJean, their very different personalities and dispositions and yet very similar views of themselves:

I love these two oblivious idiots so so so soooo much 😭🥹

I’m convinced that Jeremy is the best possible person for Jean. And Jean is the best possible person for Jeremy.

Cat, Laila, the floozies, Rhemann are all great people for Jeremy and Jean

But Jeremy and Jean can understand each other in a way no one else can

In Jeremy, Jean sees someone who went through neglect, trauma, grief and still came out of it so openly, undeniably, proudly kind

In Jean, Jeremy found someone that will not flinch away from the darkest parts of him, that will understand and reciprocate that kindness in a way no one else can

(Jean will treat you so right, Jeremy, just you wait)

Jeremy’s “sex addiction”

In a previous pots I mentioned how Jeremy uses hookups as a substitute for drugs: Jeremy has a personality that is prone to addictions and even before the drugs, he enjoyed hookups as a teenager; then his attention was almost fully taken up by the pills and the cocaine, and once that was removed, back he went to old habits, only worse

So, so, so much worse

Because if before sex was fun, now it’s a way for Jeremy to hurt himself

imo Jeremy is not addicted to sex because of the pleasure

(and atp I don’t even know if most people would consider it a sex addiction at all then? but bear with me)

Jeremy enjoys casual sex because his hookups treat him in the exact way he believes he deserves to be treated

Jeremy believes he deserves to be treated like shit

And sure, his family also treats him like shit, but that’s only half of the equation

The other half is that with his hookups Jeremy gets to feel useful, he gets to feel like he has a purpose, a positive impact on someone else on an intimate level

(I think this is why Nora called him a service top, he believes he can’t be anything else, he can’t take pleasure, he only deserves to give it)

The Wilshires consider him good for nothing, but for his hookups he’s good at one thing at least

(he’s still not good enough to be treated kindly, to be romanced, to be loved, and that’s ok because he doesn’t deserve that anyway, right?)

His hookups always happen after moments of emotional turmoil for Jeremy, and they’re all fade-to-black

This might just be because Nora doesn’t care to describe sex that isn’t JereJean… but it might also be because Jeremy straight up disassociates the whole time??????

And maybe THAT is what he’s addicted to??????

Before: sex is fun!

Now: when I have sex, only the other person matters, I can stop thinking, I can stop existing as Jeremy Knox

Cocaine can make you feel unstoppable, invincible, and for a teenager that feels like he’ll never be enough for his parents, that is incredibly addicting

But for current Jeremy? The Jeremy that feels responsible for his little brother’s death? He doesn’t deserve to feel unstoppable and invincible, he deserves to feel like nothing, like he doesn’t even exist

The disassociation is the addiction

(of course this is mostly speculation, because Jeremy is just too inscrutable to me 😕)

I would love, absolutely LOVE for Jeremy to tell Leo (and Faser, and every other hookup) to fuck off and rot, you piece of shit. I would love a good verbal evisceration and maybe a right hook 👊💥

But do I expect it? Not really 😂

Because for Jeremy it’s just so important to not be that type of person

It’s like the Trojans never getting a red card in 4 years and then headcanoning that they get one to protect Jean, you know?

The Trojans just don’t want to be that type of team

And while I believe that some of the Trojans behave this way out of self-righteousness, it’s not the case for Jeremy

In the beginning, Jeremy’s behavior came from an unhealthy place, his belief that being the perfect captain and sportsmanlike athlete is the only thing that can make up for the fact that he is Jeremy

But now, I think Jeremy truly appreciates the effect that good sportsmanship can have on people, the type of example he is setting for younger athletes, for queer athletes: you can be one of the best without having to resort to violence, to cheap shots; people will hate you and put you down but you will never stay down, and the people that count will support and admire you

Jeremy has discovered kindness and he’s never going back

Jeremy is not the type of person to treat others unkindly not because he is perfect, not because he is uwu my little blorbo too pure for this world

But because he very much doesn’t want to be that type of person

It’s so important for him that he is not.

So I have to put all my wishes of glorious, violent vindication aside and respect that this is Jeremy, you know?

Maybe Nora will surprise us, maybe she will give us a Jeremy spitting venom at his tormentors and punching an asshole or two in the face

But if she doesn’t, that’s ok, that makes sense

Learning to stand up for yourself doesn't necessarily mean learning to be less kind

Kevin and Leo might be parallels in the way Jean and Jeremy simply walk away from them in the end (together, holding hands)

.

Kevin

I know some people in the fandom see Kevin as some sort of super-ally-mastermind but I don’t think he could have ever predicted the bond Jean and Jeremy formed. Kevin just saw a kind man nicknamed Captain Sunshine and decided that if someone had a chance to take in a stray Raven and turn him into a human, it was him. The fact that Jeremy is gay and the Trojans the quuerest college team in the country is not a coincidence, I do think Kevin was looking out for Jean in some way, but there’s no way Kevin could have predicted JereJean. Kevin barely sees Jean as a person. He sees him as a Raven, only worse, because other Ravens were assets, while Jean was property and treated as such. Kevin saw Jean being treated like an animal, year after year, and saw the fight slowly bleed out of him, year after year

I don’t think he started seeing Jean as a full-fledged person until he saw him in California. And not because Kevin is as evil as Riko. But simply because Kevin witnessed almost all traces of humanity being stripped from Jean

In general, this is one of Kevin’s problems in my opinion: because of his upbringing and trauma, Kevin sees those around him as athletes first, them being people is secondary

Which is why he ignored all the abuse happening in the Nest, not only the cruelty directed at Jean. The Ravens were dominating as athletes, and that’s all Kevin cared about. And he’s the same with the Foxes, they matter to him as athletes, not as people

I’m gonna borrow something I wrote in my first Kevin analysis:

“But where Kevin is hellbent on making everyone around him miserable, because his whole life he’s been convinced that greatness is born from misery, Neil wants to make everyone around him better for the sake of being better.

Better Exy players, but better people, too. Neil understands you can’t have one without the other. But Kevin is so single-mindedly focused on Exy that he doesn’t care about the people, he only cares about the athletes.”

So even removed from the context of the Nest/cult/abuse, Kevin has a problem relating with other people as people

He is aware that they are people, it just doesn’t matter to him

But with Jean, I’m not sure he thought of him as a person for a long time

Strip a Fox of the athlete, and you’ll find a damaged person

Strip Jean of the athlete, and you’ll find a beaten animal

(I’m not saying it’s Kevin’s fault, that Kevin is the antichrist or Riko’s “other half”, I’m saying that Kevin was abused by a cult and his vision of life and humanity was warped to such a dramatic extent that he genuinely struggles with making human connections, and it’s the same issue the other Ravens have, and they, too, don’t see Jean as a person, but as an object to be passed around, a creature to abuse)

I think that, in his own way, Kevin does care for Jean. Just not enough.

He cared about Jean… but he still asked Jean to teach him French, knowing full well Jean’s punishment if found out would be terrible. He still gave Jean articles about the Trojans with pictures of Jeremy in them, knowing full well that Riko would make Jean bleed almost to death if he discovered him, because queers don’t belong on his Court, and what else could you possibly be doing with articles about Knox and his team when you can barely read English?

This is what I dislike the most about Kevin. He never thinks about the consequences. Because he doesn’t care. As long as the consequences don’t affect him directly, he doesn’t care

Kevin sees most people as existing for him

(not in the same way as Riko did, who fully believed he owned others; Kevin was simply taught that everyone has a role at Evermore, and Kevin’s is to be one of the best, top of the food chain, and everyone else has do his bidding and take insult after insult from him; he keeps this same behavior with the Foxes and with Jean, this is what we – Kevin critics – mean when we say that Kevin constantly pulls rank: he gives orders and throws insults because he believes it’s his right to do so)

Kevin wanted a friend in the Nest, and here comes this terrified young boy that will cling to anyone that shows him an ounce of gentleness. So Kevin gets a friend, and gets to learn a language they can gossip in that no one else understands, and gets to talk about the Trojans as much as he wants and if Riko finds out, who is he most likely to focus all his wrath on, his brother or the queer foreign boy?

Let me repeat again that Kevin is a victim. Like Thea. Like every Raven. Like Riko.

So why do I dislike him so much? Again, because consequences. All Kevin needs to do to survive the Nest is believe in the Master. He doesn’t need French lessons, he doesn’t need to share articles about the Trojans. He doesn’t need a friend who is Riko’s property

But Kevin still wants all those things and gets them, because fuck what the consequences are for Jean, and that’s what I have an issue with

And then, in that first year in the Nest, their friendships dies, because too much happens between them, too much violence (against Jean), too much abuse (against Jean), too much torture (against Jean), and Jean had to give and give and give to Riko and the Master already, he couldn’t also give to Kevin all that Kevin wanted. Because as I’ve said before, Kevin is a taker, he takes your time and attention and your knowledge of another language and your passion for another team, and in exchange he turns the other way as you get tortured

(not that he could do anything about it, but imagine being Jean and the guy you idolize just wants to use you for what benefits you can bring him)

And if that’s not enough, when Riko breaks his hand, Kevin uses that old, long-dead friendship against Jean to convince him to distract Riko as he makes his escape

“If you were ever friends with me, get him out of my room.”

And Jean does

And Kevin escapes

And Jean almost gets killed by Riko for it

And in TSC we get a moment that is very important but easily forgotten: when Jean is staying at Abby’s and Kevin visits him, Jean sees bottomless guilt in his eyes

That’s something, right?

I do think Kevin and Leo are parallels, but still, I would not compare them beyond a surface-level assessment, beyond the guy uses you when he can benefit from it, but doesn’t care for you the rest of the time

Yes, on the surface Kevin and Leo are both the subjects of misplaced, ill-advised affection, they are untrustworthy, selfish and would 100% do it again

But Leo is just a rich kid, a privileged asshole, someone who could make so many different choices and yet he always chooses to hurt Jeremy

Kevin never had much of a choice. He was in a cult. Yes, he was treated like a little god, a prince of the court always serving his King by most of the people at Evermore. But he was still abused by the Master like every other Raven. And he was still stuck with Riko

In the beginning their relationship wasn’t too terrible, in a world of abuse, they clung to each other. Kevin hated Riko like he hated nobody else, but he also loved Riko like he loved nobody else. He arrived at the Nest as a kid, after losing his mother, his entire world. He needed something, someone to cling to or he would lose his mind with grief and never survive the Master’s abusive tactics. And this is what cults do, no one is safe because they know how to take advantage of your grief, how to make sure you fall into their clutches when you’re at your weakest (and in Kevin’s and Jean’s case, they orchestrated the conditions for such grief to happen in the first place, by killing Kayleigh and convincing the Moreaus into trafficking their son). Pretty soon he started to believe the Master’s teachings, that he belonged by Riko’s side, his perpetual second, his submissive adoptive brother. He accepted that, convinced himself of it. To survive. And he was content with his life, with the bright future he had ahead of him if only he could endure and ignore what was happening around him

But then the Master gave Jean to Riko, and Riko got a taste of absolute power over another person, and impunity, and he slowly started descending into madness. That was always his fate, with all the pressure the Master put on him, and all the disappointment of being a spare Moriyama, but I believe that Jean was the catalyst for the Riko-madness speedrun.

Maybe Riko would have shattered Kevin’s hand in every universe; maybe that was the inevitable ending, because Riko is Riko, and Kevin is Kevin, and once Thea puts it in Kevin’s mind that he is better than the King, he inevitably, in every universe, starts testing the limits, pushing boundaries; and in every universe the Master notices his talent and decides to pit them against each other to determine who’s the rightful King

Or maybe Riko only shatters Kevin’s hand in this universe, the universe where Jean was his property, where he became addicted to having absolute power over someone else and torturing those who were already down

Which would mean that without Jean, without all the horrible things he endured in the Nest, in this universe Kevin could never be free

Kevin’s freedom comes at Jean’s expense, not only on that terrible day, but from the moment Jean was born

And isn’t that a terrible thought?

(and also… the only reason Kevin manages to escape is that Jean is kind, that one mention of their dead friendship is enough to convince Jean to distract the monster, and isn’t that also terrible? That Jean’s kindness was almost his demise? … but then, Renee realizes Jean is dying because Jean decides that his last coherent action in his existence is to text her to thank her, so Jean’s kindness is also what saves him and I-- askgfsjfgshafkjb)

Anyway, Kevin didn’t have much of a choice. I am angry that he left Jean to die, took advantage of Jean’s gentle nature and trapped him into distracting Riko. If Riko was angry before, he was absolutely furious once he realized Jean helped Kevin escape (albeit unknowingly)

And I’m angry about the French lessons and the Trojan articles, and all the instances where Jean would be brutally punished if found out while Kevin could just shrug the whole incident off, just like he shrugs off the fact that Jean was raped several times. I’m boiling with rage

But I also understand that Kevin was an abused teenager who grew up in a cult. He was desperate to have a friend in the Nest. And then he was desperate to escape

And Jean knows that:

Jean never expected Kevin to protect him. Jean never expects anyone to protect him. Zane only does so in exchange for a spot on the Perfect Court, and even he would never dare contradict Riko. Yes, Kevin had some sway with Riko, Riko did love him in his own way, but at the end of the day, Riko is a Moriyama, and Kevin is not (and even as a Moriyama, your value depends entirely on your date of birth). By normal standards, their dynamic is less of brothers and more of master and pet (Nora verbatim calls Kevin Riko’s pet in the extra content). You love your pets, you indulge them when it costs you nothing (history classes) but if you’re an abusive piece of shit, you will also always put them back in their place whenever they overstep

And remember when Neil was in the Nest? Jean was his partner, and yet he couldn’t protect him from Riko’s violence. Didn’t even try. All he could do was patch him up and beg him to behave

Jean never expected Kevin’s help. That’s how things work in the Nest

Jean would’ve slashed Kevin’s tires to prevent his escape. Not as a way to avoid Riko’s wrath. But because he knew that with a broken hand Kevin would only last a couple of months in the Nest before killing himself. And at that point Jean would be free to follow.

For Jean, Kevin’s worst slight against him was not leaving him in the Nest to die

It was keeping him out of it to live

Don’t get me wrong, a part of Jean will always suffer because of Kevin’s betrayal, and I do think that a part of him wants Kevin to die for reasons unrelated to their promise, purely because he wants to be free from Kevin Day, because Kevin Day represents everything that was done to him in the Nest

For a couple of years, Kevin symbolized a reprieve in the midst of a nightmare

But now?

Now that Jean is living in the light of the California sun, Kevin symbolizes the fear, the anger, the powerlessness Jean felt in those awful years at Evermore

Kevin went from being a dream within a nightmare, to part of the nightmare itself

Following him all the way to California

One look too close at Kevin, and Jean is transported back to all the painful punishments he incurred because of Kevin

(directly - the French lessons, Kevin's escape - and indirectly - Riko realizing Jean is queer and deciding to torture the queerness out of him)

That’s why I keep bringing up Jean's reaction to close contact with Kevin, so strong, so visceral that Jeremy is perplexed by it:

This goes beyond the internalized homophobia of: "oh, shit, I was attracted to a guy", or the reminder that "oh, shit, I was attracted to this guy"

This is the horror of someone who's awaiting punishment, who's feeling breath on the back of his neck and blades against his skin. Jean might even be experiencing a proper flashback of all the painful things he's had to bear because of "this guy"

Jeremy is not jealous in that moment. He is perplexed. Concerned. Because Jean was spiraling and he didn't understand why

So what can Jean do now?

I know we all want vindication for Jean. We all want an epic badass moment where Jean punches Kevin in the face and tells him to fuck off. We all want Kevin begging for forgiveness on his knees (as if!)

But deep down, all I want is for Jean to feel indifferent

He deserves to be relieved of all the powerfully negative feelings Kevin elicits in him

I want Jean to be free

Free of every ghost belonging to the Nest... and Kevin is one of them

And sure, one could feel liberated after punching someone in the face lol

But violence is the Ravens' way

The best possible thing Nora can do for Jean, is have him walk away from Kevin

That's the closure he deserves

And I don't mean forever, before I get attacked again by Kevin stans. But right now Jean hates Kevin, and I want him to stop feeling such negative emotions and focus on himself, and all the positivity around him

Jean "getting over Kevin" doesn't necessarily mean shutting Kevin out of his life completely

But right now I do think it’s necessary, Jean simply cannot heal with Kevin around, because Kevin is still a Raven at heart:

In a few years I can see them having the same relationship they have right now (barely interacting, but being mostly civil with each other when they have to), minus the hatred and violence simmering right under the surface

One day they could even have the same type of rapport Kevin has with Jeremy at the moment, of long-distance approval, maybe even admiration

They could, potentially, become friendly in the future

(I don't know about proper friends, though: Nora said Kevin's behavior forever destroyed any chance at a friendship with Jean, that at the moment Kevin doesn't have any friends, and it'll take him years, well into his pro career, to create genuine bonds with Neil, Andrew, Jeremy, even Thea, despite her being the closest person to him right now - and that says a lot, too)

But right now I just want Jean to be free

And the same goes for Jeremy, and it goes far beyond Leo, he is a stand-in for the Wilshires, and that is Jeremy’s main issue

Jeremy and Jean feel so much

That the best type of vindication can only come from them not feeling anything anymore for the people that hurt them

Jean needs to walk away from Kevin to heal, and Jeremy needs to walk away from Leo, the hookups and the Whilshires to heal

In a way, Jean is in a better, more promising situation than Jeremy. Because Jean is far away from the Nest, and has minimal contact with Kevin. But Jeremy is forced to see his family every day, and forces himself to see Leo because hookups are the only thing he can control at the moment

Boy, oh, boy, Jeremy is about to break

And Jean will be there to hold him together

And maybe at the end of it all they will finally start living

(I'm not sure my heart can take it 🥹 I'm not ready for Book 3 but at the same time I am SAT)

[system-to-the-madness]

Mistaken - Sugawara Kōshi x Reader

Pairing: Sugawara Kōshi x Reader (can be read as any gender, no pronouns used) Genre: fluff Word Count: 1 420 Warnings: none Summary: Suga can’t lie to you Prompts: mistaken identity

He shouldn’t be here. This was a mistake. He couldn’t- he shouldn’t do this.

It all had started out with Daichi and Asahi overhearing some of yours and Suga’s classmates that they wanted to set you up with someone from your class, some guy named Nakayama. Apparently, they hadn’t told you who they wanted you to go on that date with, a blind date, so to say, but the three Volleyball third years had overheard the time and place where you were supposed to meet.

Knowing of Suga’s terrible crush on you (which he had harboured basically ever since orientation day over two years ago), Daichi and Asahi had decided Suga needed to go to the meeting and pretend to be the one you were supposed to go on that blind date with. After all, your friends had only told you it was someone from your class, and he was in your class.

But as he was standing in front of the tori gate you were supposed to meet your blind date in front of, anxiety began setting in. Worse even than when Daichi and Asahi had dragged him here half an hour ago.

What if Nakayama showed up before you did? What if you saw Suga and told him you weren’t interested in going on a date with him? Even worse, what if you did, and you had a good time? Then everything would have been built on a lie. No, no, he couldn’t do it. Couldn’t go through with it. As terrible as the idea was that you might go on a date with Nakayama and get together with him, Suga couldn’t lie to you. He never should have come. He had to leave, now.

Having decided his fate, he sighed, stuffed his hands in his pockets and turned to leave. It seemed to be a repeating pattern in his life that other people always got chosen over him. Both in middle and now high school he had never been in the starting line up for volleyball, and while he knew Kageyama was the better match for the team, it still made him a little sad sometimes. And now you, the one girl he had really fallen for, the only one who had been on his mind for years, would go on a date which he could have prevented. But only by lying and deceiving. And that wasn’t him.

He had just turned to hurry away, when suddenly you sweet voice called his name.

“Suga-kun, is that you?”

He froze. Oh no, oh no, oh no. He had been to slow. Now he had to make up a white lie as to why he was here. Not to meet you. But… what had he done here? The shrine in front of which he had waited was quite far away from his home, it wouldn’t make sense to claim he had come here to pray. Maybe on his way back from… a friend’s house? Or-

His thoughts got interrupted by you. “It is you, who I’m supposed to meet here, right? Miu-chan did say it was someone from our class!”

Hesitantly he looked up at you. The autumn air was warm and smelled of the wet leaves of the trees surrounding the shrine. Golden light fell through the branches, painting patterns of shadows on your face. On your brightly smiling, blushing face. Oh. You were actually happy at the idea that it had been him, who had met you here. Oh no.

“Actually-”

“I was really hoping it would be you,” you smiled, bashfully turning your eyes away. “I mean… really hoping. But I didn’t think… ahhh, I don’t know what I’m doing, don’t listen to me.”

Suga listened to you nervously blabbering on, wishing he could just lie to you, claim that yes, it had been him you had been set up with. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to you.

“So… did you have any plan on what we’re doing today? If not, we could just walk around a little. The maple trees are still green, but I think the air is really nice today. Or we could-”

“Wait,” Suga finally managed to interrupt you. Surprised at how strong his usually so gentle voice had been, you turned to look at him wide eyed. Seeing the excitement on your face broke his heart. He couldn’t go on that date with you. You were supposed to meet someone else, and he had to tell you. “I’m- I’m not the person you were supposed to meet here.”

The nervous smile on your face fell. It felt like a pit had opened up in Suga’s stomach.

“I’m… sorry,” you asked confused.

“I- I’m not even supposed to be here,” Suga tried to explain. “I overheard your friend’s wanting to set you up with Nakayama, and Daichi and Asahi dragged me here so I should meet you here in Nakayama’s stead, make you think I was supposed to take you on that date.”

“Why would you do that?” Oh god, you sounded so hurt.

Suga’s throat threatened to close up. “Because I don’t want you to go on a date with him.”

“Why not? Why shouldn’t I go on a date with him?” And now you sounded angry. Suga wasn’t sure which was worse. Hurt or anger.

“Because-” what should he tell you? He didn’t want you to be mad at him, but it felt like no matter what he said, you’d be mad at him either way. “Because I wanted to be the one who takes you on a date… Because I’ve liked you since the first day of hight school. But it was wrong of me to come here. I know that. I was about to leave, but you saw me and-”

The soft touch of your hand against his stopped his rambling.

“It’s okay,” you assured him, your anger dissipating as quickly as it had started. “I understand it now.”

“I couldn’t lie to you,” Suga confessed, marvelling at how your fingers were softly wrapped around his.

“And you didn’t. Thanks for being honest. But-” you hesitated for a moment, making Suga look up from your hands to your face. “I still want to go on that date. With you, not with Nakayama.”

Suga’s eyes widened at your confession. “Really,” he asked incredulously.

“Is that so weird to you,” you laughed, making him shake his head hastily.

“No, no, not at all. I’d love to! But… we should tell Nakayama about this first, that’s the right thing to do.”

You agreed with him on that matter, and when Nakayama arrived five minutes later, there was obvious disappointment painted on his face as he spotted you. At least until you explained the situation.

“I’m sorry, it’s such a mess,” you apologized.

“Not at all,” Nakayama disagreed, running a hand over his face.

“I’m sorry, too. You looked like you were really looking forward to this date and now you look disappointed,” Suga apologized.

“You’re right, I was looking forward to this,” Nakayama agreed, lifting his head to look between Suga and you. “But only because I thought it would be Ayaka-chan meeting me here.”

“Ayaka-chan,” Suga and you asked at the same time.

“From our class, yeah,” Nakayama confirmed. “I… kinda like her.”

“Oh…”

Suga bit his lip. “Actually… I think I might be able to get you that date with her,” he thought out loud.

“You think?”

“A while ago she told me she thinks you’re really cute,” Suga nodded, pulling his phone out and dialling Ayaka’s number. A few minutes later he had successfully arranged for Ayaka and Nakayama to meet the next day, this time both of them knowing who they would encounter. Nakayama’s face was glowing an excited, bright red, as he bid his goodbye and headed off, leaving Suga alone with you.

“That was a mess,” you laughed, visibly relaxing. “I’m glad he wasn’t disappointed.”

Suga smiled. “Yeah, that was lucky.”

“So… do you still want to go on that date with me,” you asked hesitantly as if you expected Suga might have changed his mind on the matter suddenly.

“Of course, I do,” he laughed, “I made a whole schedule!”

“We sound busy,” you joined his laughter. “Where are we going first?”

And as he led you away from the tori in front of which you had stood the whole time, he couldn’t shake the feeling that Daichi and Asahi had counted on things turning out exactly the way they had.

[fandomtherapy44]

Sober Buddies Ch.1 Help lines and cults

Summary: Y/n is new at college and trying to find a footing in everything. When she meets a guy who introduces her to something that could really help find her path.

warnings : Swearing

WC/ 2.3k

AN/ Hey Ya'll welcome to my serious I'm so excited to make this series. So it will use some plot lines from season six but a lot will change including CJ but his key character notes will still be there. Without further ado enjoy Sober buddies.

I got the divider from

Firefly Graphics

College, was an escape from my life at home, something I had always wanted. And in Boston: my dream since I was a freshman in high school. At Worthington, I had worked so hard to get here, and I finally did. It's about two weeks away from the start of school and today I get to check out my dorm that I’m sharing with two other girls- which should be fun, hopefully. I walked into the room where three beds were barely fitting together. I put my things on the middle bed when the door bursts open. “Uh, who the hell are you?” I turn and a pretty blond girl is standing there. 

“Um, I'm Y/N, your roommate, nice to meet you.” I hold out my hand and she looks down at it like it was covered in shit. “Okay, I'm just going to assume that you're a germaphobe.” 

“Don't mind her, she's Audrey, and I'm Joey.” This girl, a brunette, actually shakes my hand. “Y/N, I'm so happy this worked out!” Audrey looks confused. “Well, she needed a place and thought, why not us?” Joey explained to Audrey, who looked like you had killed her dog in front of her.

“I promise I won't be annoying. I will even let you have the first shower of the morning Audrey.” I tried to appeal to her queen bee side.

“Fine you can stay, but don’t touch my clothes, okay?”

I raise my right hand in the air as if swearing an oath. “I promise and cross my heart and all that.” Hopefully these girls and I can become friends and Audrey won't kill me in my sleep for accidentally grabbing her dress.

It had been a couple of weeks- and it was now one week before school started. Audrey and I hadn't really been besties, but Joey and I had a pretty great rapport going on. I was looking at my classes and trying to get a handle on what I should be studying, when Audrey came bursting in. “Omg oh my gosh, do you know where Joey is?” 

I looked around. Clearly not, I thought. “I don't know Audrey, I think studying at the library, maybe.” Audrey sits down on her bed with a huff.

“Why is she studying? School doesn't even start for another week,” Audrey sighs. I knew that Joey’s English class was stressing her out. 

“Um, probably for her English class, I heard it's super hard.” 

“Right, little Miss Perfect does the super hard class and will probably get all A’s.” I could tell by the tone of her voice that this was mostly a projection of whatever had happened that she needed to talk to Joey about. 

“You know, Audrey, you could always talk to me. I can guarantee you that I've faced a similar problem.” She gives me a dirty side eye but gives in.

“I guess since you're the only one here.” 

“Great, I love being the last choice.” I set down my books and sit down on the ground criss-cross applesauce style. She rolls her eyes at me. 

“Shush my problems, remember.” 

“Yes, I do,” I reply.

“Well, I was at the bar with my boyfriend. His name is Pacey.” I nod my head trying to keep up. “And we were playing pool when this gothic hot chick came walking up- and this is the woman that he wants to live with!” Audrey threw her arms up in a dramatic flare.

“I'm confused, Audrey. Number one: what do you mean by living with her and two: why would that be a problem?” She looks shocked by my answer. 

“What do you mean, ‘what do I mean’? She's hot, he wants to move, and she has space in her apartment.”

“Okay, but I'm still confused as to why it would be bad to move to a better place.” At my response, I notice Audrey is becoming more impatient.

“Because Duh! Y/N, she's hot!”

It seems like this girl has a whole lot of issues- but I'm not one to talk on that. “Look, Audrey, do you trust Pacey?” She doesn't even hesitate. 

“Yes but-” 

“There's your answer.” 

“But-” 

“But, you trust your boyfriend, and that’s what matters, even if the girl is a supermodel. If he's as good as you make him sound, then he won't even look in her direction.” Audrey takes that in. 

“I guess you're right, you know, you're not half bad L/N.” She gives me a little respectful nod. 

“Same to you, Lindell.” 

School was happening tomorrow, and I had thankfully gotten all things done. Now, I had more time to get to know Jen and her grandma, who were really sweet so far. They are sitting at a table and I go to them. “Hey Jen, Evelyn.” I greeted as I sat. 

“Oh please sweetheart, call me Grams, everyone does.” She smiles at me warmly.

“Okay great! If it's okay with you, what are we talking about?” Jen has no problem catching me up.

“Well, Y/N, Grams here has only picked up a math book because of a certain someone who teaches it.” 

“Aww, I think that's cute.” Jen did not agree with me. 

“l think it's a slippery slope. l mean, one minute you're taking an interest, and the next...you're sublimating your own thoughts and desires, and for what? For a chance to participate in the great patriarchal heterosexist fraud…”

“...that is better known as monogamy?” I answer in her pause. She gives me a quick look.

“ls that how you wanna spend your golden years? Folding some man's laundry and pretending to share an interest? l mean, haven't we come further as a sex--?” She stops and looks behind me. And she stares for a second. 

“Hi. I'm sorry, are we bothering you?” Jen asked the stranger behind me. I got curious enough and turned to see one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. “Because if it's not too much trouble, you could get your own conversation.”

“No. Sorry.” He apologized but I had a feeling he wasn't done yet. “I've been sitting there trying to figure out where l met you before… and suddenly I realized I've never met you before.” I chuckle at that. 

“Great. Well, I'm really glad that we got that figured out,” Jen states, blandly.

“I've heard you on the radio.” I knew he wasn't done.

“Jen, you were on the radio? I never knew!” I exclaimed while hitting her arm in excitement. 

“Ow! And you didn't know because it's not important. And you.” She turned back to the guy. “Okay, you got me. I'm busted. l was on the radio. But I'm not anymore, so thank you very much for listening, and bye-bye.” She tried to end the conversation. 

“So, did you get fired, or what?” The man continued.

“What is this, an interview?” Jen looks annoyed.

“I'm just curious.” 

“Well, let's just say that l had some artistic differences with the new management.” Well, that sucks she had to give that up because of a dick in a suit, I thought. “Fine. Then we'll just say that,” Jen concludes.

“Fine.” The man replies. Then Grams comes in for the clutch. 

“Excuse me, young man. Would you care to join us?”

Grams had gone, I assume, to talk to the particular professor teaching math. While the guy had joined us. 

“I'm CJ.” 

“Y/N, and this radio host is Jen.” She rolls her eyes and I nudge her. 

“It's nice to meet you two.” 

“You too, CJ.” We had gotten on the subject of where we were living, and Jen mentioned that she is currently living with her grandma.

“No, l think it's nice.” 

“Yeah, that's what everybody says. ‘Oh, you live with your grandma. That's so sweet,’. How do they know l don't beat her and leave her tied to the radiator all winter?” 

“Ah, so that's the screaming I hear when I come over.” I added in. CJ laughed at my joke.

“ls this a cry for help?” CJ asked Jen. 

“Do l look like l need help?” 

“No. Actually, you look like someone who'd probably be good at giving it.” Jen hears that and immediately gets up and begins leaving, practically running for the hills.

“This has happened to me before. This religion thing is not really–” She is already halfway down the stairs. 

“Ha, just one Second CJ,” I say. He gives me a friendly smile. 

“Sure.” I went after her.

“Jen, wait- we should hear him out.” 

“Y/N, he was totally giving weird vibes. Are you coming?” I looked back and I felt something. 

“I think I'll stay.” 

“Well, call me if you need help out of the cult and remember nine for Joey’s surprise.” 

“Gotcha.” With that, she leaves. I turn back to CJ trying to think of some good reason.

“Hey, uh, so she had to leave for a class.” We sat back down. 

“No she didn't, class doesn't start till tomorrow.” I give a small smile. 

“You're right, sorry.” 

“It's okay I know everyone isn't for the whole ‘helping thing,’ but you're still here.” I looked around and he was right, I was, which was weird for me too. 

“I guess I am- uh, you said something about helping people?” I question. 

“Right- um… no matter how I say this I'm going to sound like a dork. Have you ever heard of The Stand?” He looks at me like he expects me to run away. 

“No, no, I never have. I just moved here from Cali so I don't know a lot of stuff here. What's The Stand?” CJ gets this look of confidence. 

“It’s a peer counseling program.” I think about it. 

“So I help people.” 

“Yes yes exactly! There's an information session tonight at seven.” He hands me a pamphlet on it. 

“I'll be there and maybe I can convince Jen that this is not a cult,” He says, with a small chuckle.

“That would be great! I can't wait to see you there.” He pats my shoulder in a friendly way and he leaves. I felt a sensation of butterflies rising up from my stomach, but I quickly grabbed a fly swatter and squished them. 

I had walked over to Jen’s house. “Hey, was escaping the cult hard?” I sat down on the couch laughing at her joke. 

“Very funny Jen, actually he was talking about the stand. Have you heard about that?” She gives me a comical look. 

“Yes, it's a call line where people call to complain about who's dating who and if the professor is going to give them an A or not.”

“I thought it was a little more serious than that,” I replied. “Well, whatever it is, I'm going to go to the information session tonight. You should come; if CJ was right about anything, it is that you would be good with helping people.” She sighs and glances down.

“Ok fine I'll go. We can pick up Joey’s gift after. And are you sure that you're not doing this just because CJ is ungodly hot?”

“No, I mean it helps, but he's not the reason I'm going to go.” I wish there was something like this when I was going through… no, I'm not going to think about that. I'm here to move on from that.

Jen and I went into the building and it was covered in inspiring posters and quotes. “On the nose much?” Jen commented, scanning the room. 

“I like it, let's get a good seat.” Which wouldn't be hard. There were tons of spots; I guess the word didn't get out. The speaker started and I was trying hard to listen, but Jen- not so much.

“So as l was saying, most of what we do around here. is simply information and referrals. And 99 times out of 100 just reminding someone to take a deep breath and to keep on breathing is enough. Tomorrow will be another day. For you too. Which brings me to our number one rule around here: Never be afraid to ask for a hug at the end of a tough day.” At that Jen left. I leave my bag.

“Jen, wait, wait!”

“I'm sorry Y/N, I can't do that. If you want to stay, great, but I can't. I'll see you later.” She turns to leave. 

“Jen!” I sadly go back to my space on the couch. I go to look at my notes when the space next to me gets seated. 

“You came.” I swung my head and CJ was right there. 

“Yeah, I did.”

“So, there's the coffee maker, and here's the mini fridge that definitely is working.” CJ tells me as he shakes his head, indicating sarcasm.

“Ha, and I definitely won't smell any weird smells from here.” 

“Yes definitely.” We both laughed and I looked at the window and it had gotten dark. 

“Wow, time really does fly.” 

“So, what made you want to stay?” He looks at me with those piercing green eyes.

“Because I know a place like this would have been amazing for me when I was younger, so If I can help someone avoid those feelings that I went through, then I'm for it a hundred percent.” CJ heard me and truly felt I meant it. 

“That's the same reason I did it.” 

“Really? That's so cool!” I exclaimed happily. “So, what do you do for fun? I haven't been here for long, so if you know of any places...” He thinks about it. 

“Yeah I mean the typical places like bars, clubs, parties.” 

“Would you want to go to one together?” I asked abruptly which I never did, especially with people I just met.

“I totally would, but it wouldn't be much fun.” 

“Why?” I asked. He hesitates for a second, pondering something.

“…I don't drink.” 

“Oh my gosh, that's amazing!” I heard what I just said and felt embarrassed. “I'm sorry, that sounded super weird, but I don't drink either.” 

“Wow, it's hard to find a college girl not drinking.” CJ searches my eyes.

“True, but it's what's best for me and I'm sure for you. What about this: we’ll be each other's sober buddies.” 

“Sober buddies?”

“Yeah, when we are at the same parties, we’ll make sure the other won't even look at drinks.” He thinks about it for a second and I look at the clock. “Shit I'm going to be late and then Audrey is going to kill me.” I grab my stuff and run to the door but before I leave I turn back. “CJ sober buddies?” He gives me a smirk and nods. 

“Sober buddies.” 

I will get chapter two out as soon as possible thank you for reading!

[gemglyph]

I’ll give you all some advice, but first let’s take a walk together through some of my life.

I have some family that was killed in the Holocaust. I did not learn this until recently, but in retrospect I probably should have known.

What I had learned (when I was “old enough” and it was therefore deemed okay to talk about) was that my ashkenazi family narrowly avoided being slaughtered in the Holocaust by escaping to the US before the US closed its borders to jewish refugees.

I have always known since I was little that some of my family are jews from Sicily. They avoided pogroms (jew hunts) by hiding that they’re jewish. This part of my family immigrated (probably actually fled) to the US prior to WWII (or WWI, my family bickers about this. We don’t have records, I guess).

In both instances, they have to hide who they are to protect themselves.

Life happens, jews persist, I’m born.

Elementary school, I’m told by my family I can’t talk about my home life at school. I’m singled out by my peers and bullied for being different. I move states. Go to an entirely different elementary school. I’m singled out and bullied for being different. Jewish. Kids know this word, I know this word, it’s the 2000s, people use jew as a slur. You know that they mean it that way. Because they say it like it’s wrong.

Middle school, I only fit in with the “weird kids”. I have maybe 5 friends.

One of my friends mom is obsessed with taking me to church if I were to attend a sleepover. When I stop spending time over there because she made me uncomfortable, two of my friends confess they’re only around me because they’re trying to convert me to catholicism.

I have 3 friends.

One of my friends say they can’t be around me because it gets them bullied for associating with a jew.

I have 2 friends.

One of my friends moves away.

I have 1 friend.

It takes me being in high school for two years before I actually make any new friends. Some online, some in person. I find a couple more people I connect with and call my friends. I don’t fit in with the rest of my classmates. I’m aggressively bullied by two different groups of classmates. Jew is still used as a slur. People yell “Heil Hitler” at me in the hallway. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve actually seen the Nazi salute in person.

Because “I look jewish enough, people can just tell. It’s a joke”.

Is it? Is it a joke?

2016. I just graduated highschool and I’m in my first week of my first semester of community college. I’m stalked to my car after night class and basically pinned between my car and a big truck. He grabbed my hair and hit my head against my car. This extremely tall man tells me he should beat me to death right now because I’m a disgusting jew. I believe he will.

I’m saved by a stranger who pulls up and makes the man uncomfortable enough that he leaves. In the large truck that had been parked next to me.

I had nothing on me that is “visibly jewish”. He followed me because I look jewish enough to torment. Because I am.

I hate myself for months because I froze. I start paranoia carrying concealed knives and pray I don’t have to use them. I obsess over learning self defense. I’m disabled and not sure I’d actually be able to protect myself. I learn anyway.

2017. I drop out of community college for a few different reasons. I’m stalked on social media. I delete a lot of my accounts.

I find a job. I’m harassed every shift for six months by a supervisor who said he was happy his family was Nazis in Germany. Among many, many other things. Such as gas chamber “jokes”. My manager tells me it was a joke and to not take it too seriously.

I was working at Starbucks.

2018. I’m told that my grandma dying is a good thing because there’s “one less jew in this world”. My grandma was buried in a grave at a local christian church that she attended most her life because that was the only community she had. We never said anything to anyone (it wasn’t safe). This was supposed to be a family friend. This is my grandma’s funeral.

Later I find out that someone stole the things we left at her grave.

2020. I’m working as a pharmacy technician. My coworkers find out I’m jewish and tell me “not to wear anything that could show that because the area isn’t safe” for me. Because I’m jewish.

I stay at this job for a year before returning to school.

2021. I don’t tell anyone, people guess because I “look jewish” and ask me based on appearance. I have found a more accepting community, but I don’t share much. I’ve learned better.

2022. I make it to University. I don’t talk much to classmates, but I make friends.

2023. I talk about religion with a friend at school, they find out I’m jewish. Some people start avoiding me after October. I have said nothing other than mentioning I’m jewish.

2024. I am told, to my face, by a college student, that jews control the United States government, the media, and Hollywood. Citing a major conspiracy theorist. When prompted to consider his sources, he tells me I’m only saying that because I’m jewish.

This list is not exhaustive, but it is exhausting. I’ve faced this shit my entire life and I’m not alone. My story isn’t unique.

It’s nearing the end of 2024. There has been a huge rise in antisemitism/bigotry over the past year. People are doing the same things they have always done. Tormenting jewish people, calling us slurs, telling us to kill ourselves. The list goes on.

The Nazis came for the jews first. Our neighbors turned on us. Other marginalized people we hoped we could rely on threw us out hoping to save themselves. Only for the Nazis to come for them.

First they came for us jews.

They will come for you.

Do something about it.

[angrywerewolfbeliever]

How I manifested getting into my dream school

*For some context, high school in my country is for fifteen to nineteen year olds*

I've always loved academics, and I've always been very smart, and because of that, I really wanted to go to this one particular, very academically challenging high school that is very difficult to get into.

For all of middle school, I kept thinking and worrying about whether or not I'd get in. I already knew about reality shifting and manifestation, and I believed it fully, but I was ridiculously misinformed, insecure, limiting, and inconsistant, so it's really no suprise that didn't get me anywhere.

Anyway, to get into this school you need to take an exam. I procrastinated studying for it, and the closer I got to the dreaded exam, the more I doubted my intelligence, manifestation as a whole, and most importantly, the likeness of me getting in.

After the exam, my anxiety worsened, especially because I didn't get into another school I applied to.

Safe to say, when the results came in, I was told I didn't get in.

Was I devastated? Yes. Did I want to rot in bed, soaking in self-pity? Also yes. Did I do that? No.

I don't think I had ever wanted anything more than to get in, so I sure as hell wasn't going to give up so easily.

I pulled myself together and said to myself, "No. I did get in. This is a mistake." This was immediately after I got the results. Of course, I still felt sad and disappointed, but I shoved those feelings down as deep as possible. For the next two weeks, I affirmed that I'm going to that school in the upcoming September, I checked what bus I'll need to take, I imagined me and my friend who did get in talking about how excited we are to be classmates, etc.

I knew that a second wave of people would get accepted in a couple of months, so my main affirmation was that I would be one of them and that I'd be first in line.

For the next two weeks, I spent all my free time, whether it was break between classes or walking my dog, affirming. Whenever I found myself thinking, "What if I don't get in?" I'd immediately tell myself to shut up, and I'd continue affirming. After a couple of days, my affirmations started popping up in my mind by themselves. After a week, I fully believed them. It didn't matter anymore that I didn't have the physical proof.

And guess what? My mom got an email from the school telling her that I got in. Keep in mind that those results weren't supposed to be out for a couple more months. I was first in line after all the others that got in and a spot opened. Not only was i first in line, but the amount of points that separated me from the last person who got in on result day was 0.05!

Now I go to that school and I couldn't be happier :)

The takeaway from this is:

1. Manifestation is incredibly simple,

2. Persist, persist, persist,

3. Circumstances don't fucking matter,

4. The 3D is your bitch and it's going to show you whatever you want it to so don't care if you're seeing the opposite,

5. Believe in yourself!!!

With love,

Venus

[amberinn]

Personal sexuality hc:

- Damon Maitsu (bi bi bi bi bi bi bi, bi, everything abt bro is bi he IS the bi boy, he is never ESCAPING the bi boy allegations, the closet is made of air)

- Kai Monteago (!!transmasc, and well, bi. bro gives those vibes, too much gay talking in chapt 1)

- Jean DeLamer (gay, vibes)

- Jett /surname/ (bi!!! very much a stinky boykisser, but he'd also flush and giggle if a girl kissed his costume like reeheeheeheeheeheehee!!! he'd have the best day ever, he's the supportive bro, very outspoken abt his sexuality I bet

- Mark (straight. ...does not give those vibes, but I like this hc sorta, him having gay vibes almost, but being straight is suave or whatever we're calling it. It gives him charm I think...)

- Desmond (straight, gives those vibes, im sorry damon homie for the crush..... youre kinda going thru the bi experience every bi person went through....gotta fall for the straight situationship at least once or smthn)

- Ulysses (bi, if not only influenced by the fact i ship ulynona..., he gives gay vibes otherwise, and somewhat bi vibes)

- Wolfgang (straight)

- Toshiko (straight, she has a primary school bf (14yo atm also(btw funfact primary school in Poland at least is like ages ummm...... 6-14 ...ithink? wasnt 6year olds like year 0.... ah yeah, 7 class (1) 8 class (2) i remember now, yeah so last class of primary is 14yo, i think for USA theres smthn called "middle school"...? which is why i thought i had to clarify, i think we had that stuff in Poland also, but it got deleted at some point, at least back in my days in primary, i was the first year to experience year 7/year8 in primary, and not year7/year8/year9 in middle school. "gimnazium" or something.... the last year of the deleted middle grade in school went towards high-school which now does not last 3 years, but 4. also technical school doesn't last 4 years now, but 5. technical school is like ummm........ well like if you've shoved collage class level subjects into high school and let the classes run wild. hard. you have to pass high school and the subject you've picked. I'm in one actually, im studying economy rn)) she loves loves loves and in the future she'll marry her bf and generally live happily, i dont want a story where he breaks her heart.

girlboss ever!!!!!! bro better have some manners smh and all. super cute aa >u<)

- Wenona (bi, vibes)

- Cassidy (pan, vibes!!!) (have to think abt genderfluidity or some sort of transness to her at some point but not rn.... later)

- Diana (lesbian vibes bro)

- Ingrid (lesbian vibes if not only bcs she gives heavyyyy bismuth vibes to me once i put 2n2 together, bcs like..... pink lion, steven universe? inside of it's world is where bismuth was discovered. i love them both act theyre super special and lovely to me :3)

- Grace (straight lol)

- Eloise (definitively would kiss a boy(desmond), idk whether its bcs i WANT HER TO kiss a girl genuinely >< its ok eloise lovers get it, but ummm.......hard to say bro,..... bi, or straight. okay, yeah straight)

- Eva (ehhhh....hhhhmm.....I don't know, bi probably)

!!!! since none of them have canon sexualities (no, they actually do, Damon is literally so fucking heavily hinted bi its insane.)

!!!!since none -1 of them have canon sexualities, generally my stances of headcanons like.... shift whenever i ship anyone!!!

i look past the hc and first think abt which ship would i like best and do it

i only rll limit myself if theres canon sexualities, i generally dislike personally shipping aro characters n well.... im 17, too young to be writing nsfw atm, but ace characters for you know too.

same with gay boys being shipped with gals/the opposite etc!!!

One sidedness towards them is chill tho :3

adds flavourrrrr

[writer-ishh]

My Dungeon Meshi Modern AU Thoughts Instead of Writing My Economics Research Paper lmao

Ughhhh,,,, okay have been thinking about them all day and if one person manages to make it through the void and hear me out and talk about them with me then I’ll be happy lol.

WARNING: this is stupidly long, like I spent an absurd time writing every single little detail down. With that being said here we go:

cw//mentions and minor graphic descriptions of death, bullying, discrimination, injury, abuse, trauma, mental health issues, and abandonment

• Laios

- currently 26 and living with his sister Falin

- studying zoology part-time at the local college

- mostly does night classes since he works 1-2 jobs during the day to help pay for his and Falin’s tuition and apartment

- he and Fallin took their dog Muimui when they moved out, they also feed the local stray cats

- lived on a farm with his sister and parents when he was a kid, and is where his love of animals comes from

- however did not have the best of childhoods, as he was a frequent target for bullying due to having undiagnosed autism, and his father was very much a “nothing is wrong with you, toughen up the world isn’t going to coddle you” kind of person

- this was further cemented when he cried going hunting with his dad for the first time and refused to eat any of the deer or rabbit they had caught

- his mom had her own mental health problems that she was never diagnosed for, so often she fell into the same mindset as her husband when it came to Laios’ and Fallin’s behaviour, only she was more erratic due to her fear of one or both of her kids becoming like her

- never forgave his father after he sent Fallin off to a private middle/high school far away from their home, little did he know it was because the severe bullying Fallin was receiving was too much for her, and he wanted to send her away before she got hurt or worse

- nearly tried to run away at 16, however was caught by the police almost immediately and returned home

- completed his high school diploma and took off with Muimui without even saying goodbye to his parents, Fallin nearly joined him in the city but since she was still under guardianship of her parents, she couldn’t leave until she became an adult

- once graduated, she reunited with Laios in his apartment where they now live

- works nearly full-time at Senshi’s restaurant and works part-time as a janitor at their local zoo (he wants to be close to the animals lol)

- very busy but he makes it work, Marcille and Kabru have no idea how he does it without any meds or caffeine

- either has a worn out picture of him and Falin with their old dogs, or has a hand-made drawing of his theoretical strongest monster in his pocket that he looks at whenever he needs inspiration

- both him and Falin live wayyy out of the city center since rent is fucking abysmal downtown

- insists on taking the bus or walking everywhere since taxis and buying a bike costs too much, even if the commute is like 2 hours with 3 transfers

- despite this, he still has a drivers license

- the kind of guy you would expect to be eating leafy green tofu bowls from your local hipster vegan bistro, but is actually the kind of guy who eats the dubious $4 ground beef chubs and off-brand deli ham from walmart

- socks and slides with free college club t-shirts and cargo pants from the gap that come with like 50 pockets so he can carry all his stuff (the stuff mostly being dog treats and loose bird feed) bro has no drip aside from one outfit put together by Marcille

- uses the same highlighter blue and yellow adidas backpack he’s had since middle school, carries literally everything in there

- doesn’t listen to music, but if he does it’s rain/nature sounds with the $2 headphones you get from the dollarstore

- not much of a gym freak and usually just goes casually, prefers sports to working out (will have a protein shake but does not invest in creatine or other pre-workout supplements)

- either uses the same recyclable water bottle with the label torn off from a pack of 50 he got 3 years ago, or just uses one of his protein shake bottles I can’t decide

- hangs out with Marcille and Falin the most often (since Marcille constantly makes excuses to study with Falin at their apartment), sometimes gets smoothies or juice with Kabru if they run into each other

- hangs out with Senshi and Chilchuck less often, their time spent together is usually limited to having a beer after closing the restaurant or meeting together with everyone else to have dinner every couple months

- goal is to become a wildlife biologist when he graduates

- more to add if I think of it

• Fallin

- currently 23 and lives with Laios

- in her second year of studying veterinary medicine at their city’s main university

- grew up with Laios and her parents on their farm, also developed a deep love and appreciation for animals early on, but while Laios was more interested in the study of their behaviour, she was more interested in healing them

- also has undiagnosed autism like her brother, only when it came to her behaviours, she stood out a lot more and was subsequently bullied heavily for stimming, having major sensitivities to light and sound, self-isolating, talking to inanimate objects or “ghosts”, having a special interest in things like bugs or plants, and having a very specific schedule that adults had to help her with

- never really understood why adults or other children treated her differently, as she thought it was normal for everyone, however was still affected by having no friends aside from her brother during her younger years

- the bullying got so bad that kids began physically tormenting her, and since she never told Laios (who was in middle school and couldn’t always be with her), there was essentially no one to defend her

- very sadly culminates in an incident where she was intentionally locked in a graveyard overnight, and although she didn’t sustain any injuries she was fairly traumatized by the event, it was the final straw for her father to send her away to a private school at 12 years old to finish her education

- moved to a different city the next year where she stayed in dormitories, had her own room due to enrolling late

- also initially had a hard time making friends, and often cried since she couldn’t be with Laios, however no one bullied her for her autism and most often ignored her or gossiped

- had Marcille as a “buddy” to help her get acclimated to school life, however their relationship was quite awkward initially as Marcille thought she was unnerving and frankly a little stupid, however was completely shocked at Fallin’s nearly perfect grades

- school policy at that time stipulated that students had to return to the main hall for dinner at a certain time, however when Fallin doesn’t show up, Marcille has to look for her

- she finds Fallin at her secret hangout spot, similar to her dungeon in the anime, a corner with a group of trees and thick bushes that opened up into a grassy nook and a little pond, there they talk about what she does there and why she skips

- also similar to the anime, a fox (rather than a slime) catches them by surprise, but as Marcille tries to get it to run away by throwing rocks at it, Fallin stops her and explains it never comes closer than the tree line, she then points out that hurting while it’s already injured (has a slight limp) will cause it to die, allowing for the prey animals like squirrels and rabbits to eat away at most of the fauna surrounding the school, basically emphasizing the importance of all animals in an ecosystem and how it’s wrong to try and shift the ecosystem solely for our comfort or benefit (cheesy I know but it’s for the plot)

- she then offers Marcille the raspberries that grow on some of the bushes, and soon after Marcille asks if she would like to be friends

- they remain as friends in school only for another year, as Marcille graduates early and leaves Fallin behind much to her heartbreak, however does promise that she’ll visit and reunite with her soon

- by the time she graduates, she moves in with Laios and begins attending the same university as Marcille, there their friendship is reaffirmed, and they both start to develop feelings for one another

- full-time student but does work a few shifts at one of her university’s coffee shops whenever she can (tends to feel guilty about Laios helping her out with tuition on top of taking care of everything at home)

- in the honours program, and although she gets good grades her commitment is often questioned due to her habit of skipping

- reason for skipping is because she often does volunteer work at a nearby veterinary clinic

- unlike Laios, Fallin likes to bike to and from her classes

- it’s her main source of exercise, though she also does go to the gym if she has time, girl is absolutely built and is much stronger than she appears

- lives off of daily sweet treats and fried bologna sandwiches or tomato soup made by Laios

- frequently raids the raspberry bush growing outside hers and Laios’ apartment building, as well as the crabapple tree that technically belongs to the house next door but has its branches growing over the fence separating them

- also does not rely on excessive caffeine, but she does enjoy tea and coffee unlike Laios

- has a fjällräven backpack that Marcille gifted her for her birthday, mostly full of her textbooks but she does use it to carry rocks or sticks she finds interesting

- water bottle is a very dented bright pink hydro flask (also gifted to her by Marcille)

- has the jean shorts, tucked in t-shirt, and long cardigan look on lockdown, also wears hiking boots or converse, rarely is she seen in flipflops

- no make-up either, Marcille had to practically beg her to at least start using a clear lipgloss

- isn’t picky about music and usually just listens to whatever Marcille or Laios plays, sometimes she indulges in some lofi hiphop beats if she’s studying

- obviously best friends with Marcille but does not know she has a crush on Marcille, and thinks that her intense feelings of love and happiness are just normal girl friendship feelings (oh you poor thing)

- only vaguely knows of Senshi through the leftover food Laios sometimes brings home after his shifts, with Chilchuck she is more familiar since she sometimes visits him with Marcille on the weekends

- favourite thing is when her, Laios, Marcille, Izutsumi, Chilchuck, and Senshi all gather to get dinner together

- when it comes to her parents, she still maintains contact unlike Laios, though her messages tend to be generalized or cordial (not necessarily her intention it’s just she isn’t sure what to talk about in regards to her life beyond school)

- goal is to become a travelling wildlife vet

- more to add when I think of it

• Marcille

- is currently 26 and lives by herself (due to it being a modern au I’m imagining all races have the same lifespan of around 70-80 years)

- had probably the most normal upbringing and early adulthood out of all of the characters, both of her parents were very loving and attentive, always encouraging her and supporting her keen intellect through her hobbies

- however, they weren’t always around due to being very busy as government lawyers and often working late, she has very distinct memories of winning math and science awards as a child, looking out towards the crowd only to see her parents weren’t there

- was generally quite lonely during her childhood since she had no siblings or cousins to play with, a similar situation at school where most kids considered her stuck up or bossy when in reality she was just smart and was blunt about telling people when they were wrong about something

- is very close with Chilchuck, having known him and his family since she was little, although them all getting together was fairly rare, some of her fondest memories have been when they’d go on family trips together and she would get to play with Chilchuck’s daughters

- lost touch with him from ages 9-15 but reunited with him at 16 while he crashed at their place after his work injury and during his divorce, became very close with him during this time and developed a deep familial fondness for him despite all his teasing

- at 19 years old, she suffered a great deal of mental anguish as Chilchuck began to lose contact with her, Fallin was considering moving to a different city for university, and her father died due to a very sudden and unexpected stroke, she felt as though everyone in her life was slipping through her grasp and as a result, developed severe depression that would last until she completed her masters

- luckily, she had a good support system during that time and she was able to make it through the worst of it, however she still does struggle with motivation over simple tasks such as doing her hair or brushing her teeth

- her mood and outlook is much better though, having mostly returned to the same bubbly and dramatic personality that she once had

- is best friends with Fallin, and met her while at private school, mostly explained above, but her initial reaction of Fallin was quite negative before switching around after she realized that her way of thinking isn’t always the right one, even if the facts are right, her perspective and way of interpreting them isn’t always going to be sound

- this new perspective is what caused Marcille to become so enamoured with Fallin, eventually becoming a stupid crush that sticks with her to this day

- has her own studio apartment downtown, brand new building and everything (both parents are government lawyers so you can imagine the kind of money she has lmao)

- has a fawn floppy-eared bunny named Ambrosia

- despite her wealth, she doesn’t look down on her friends whatsoever, if anything she buys them expensive gifts as an act of kindness rather than an act of arrogance or condescension

- in the middle of attaining her phd in microbiology while doing independent research specializing in the study of telomere function

- attends the same university as Fallin

- graduated from high school at 16 and was done with her undergraduate by 19 and her masters by 21, a lot of people tend to think she’s full of herself but she often disregards them as people who don’t try hard enough

- born to carry her baby blue apple ecosystem in a cute tote bag, forced to haul her 7 biology textbooks in an ugly ass dark purple swissgear backpack she picked out when she was 12

- she has an unhealthy addiction to coffee and diet coke, literally cannot function without at least one per day

- cannot cook to save her life, lives exclusively off of pre-made grocery store meals or the sandwiches her university’s grab-n-go store sells, the kitchen aid mixer in her kitchen is practically a decoration at this point

- is actually the kind of person to be eating the leafy green tofu bowl from the local hipster vegan bistro

- has her own car and license, but lives close enough to her university to walk, Laios cannot fathom why she pays insurance every month for it but hardly uses or let anyone else use it

- I personally think she likes to rollerblade too

- jogging is her main form of exercise, but will also do yoga or calisthenics occasionally, probably the type of person to fall for a juice cleanse scam until Laios or Chilchuck scolds her for not eating enough

- I feel like she would be an intense swiftie (sorry :3) other than that, she likes the typical pop radio stuff that is played constantly

- at least she’s not a Stanley cup girl, she will use her scuffed gallon water bottle with the printed times of day until she dies

- very fashionable and loves to wear makeup, like wide leg pants or pleated skirts with penny loafers and cutesy blouses, a firm believer that any Korean makeup brand is far superior than anything Sephora could offer

- practically attached to the hip with Fallin, girl will find any excuse to study with her (the most pathetic sapphic ever someone put her out of her misery)

- otherwise, she’s buddy-buddy with Laios and Kabru but that’s about the extent of it, she’s known Chilchuck since she was little so he’s like an uncle to her

- she is quite friendly with Senshi and enjoys his cooking but hasn’t known him for a long time like the others, Izutsumi she treats like a little sister/niece and is always buying her things

- more to add when I think of it

• Chilchuck (you can tell he’s my fav because he has one of longest backstories lmao)

- currently 49 and living with Senshi and Izutsumi

- owns a two bedroom bungalow outside of downtown but still within the city, saved up for it after his divorce

- used to live in the suburbs with his ex-wife and daughters, but before that it was a shitty apartment close to where Laios lives now

- teen father, had Mayjack when he and his wife were 17 and had to graduate early so they could move out, they had Fullertom soon after and then Puckpatty by the time they were both 20, they got married at 22

- since neither could afford university at the time, Chilchuck went straight into a locksmithing trades program so he could have a decent income, his father had instilled a deep sense of responsibility and honour towards being a provider so he threw himself into his work which caused his and his wife’s initial frustration with one another

- when he was done apprenticing and when the kids were old enough to go to school, his wife went to university to begin studying teaching so she could become a professor, despite having to be home more often, Chilchuck still remained somewhat emotionally detached from his family

- by the time his daughters entered middle school, they had bought a house in the suburbs and his wife became qualified to teach

- feeling pressured by the mortgage, debt, and having to save for his daughter’s college, he began drinking more and taking a lot more hours at work, if he wasn’t working he was at the bar with his coworkers, he often didn’t come home until it was very late

- the final straw for his wife was when he showed up to work severely hungover and exhausted, then proceeded to nearly die in a home renovation project (passed out standing up and fell of a 20ft scaffolding, broke his hip and pelvis pretty badly as well as his humerus and quite a few of his ribs, also had a life-threatening brain bleed due to a skull fracture)

- at that point, all three of his daughters were already in university or trade school so his wife moved out and sold their house while Chilchuck was recovering in the hospital, she moved into a townhouse closer to the city’s main university where she still lives now with Fullertom

- having basically nothing in his savings, he crashed at Marcille’s parent’s place until he could save up a bit and get an apartment or townhouse (he and Marcille’s dad were friends in high school), essentially lived on their couch for about two years

- during this time, he became known as “Uncle Chil” by 16 year old Marcille and he developed a close uncle/niece relationship with her

- teased her as much as any uncle would, but also took her out shopping every couple of months, could never afford the stuff she wanted but he always got her lunch

- eventually, he saved up enough for the down payment of the two bedroom bungalow he lives in now and moved in, initially lost touch with Marcille but started being there for her more after her dad died, even began getting in touch with his daughters again at Marcille’s suggestion

- from then on, he took his work life more easily and tried to make time for himself in between shifts so that he didn’t feel he needs to drink himself stupid every time he came home, tried to pick up multiple hobbies and eventually settled on pottery making and brewing his own alcohol (that he sells…. mostly lol)

- meets Senshi at 42 when he is called in to install the locks and security system of the new restaurant Senshi is building, initially they had not been super friendly with each other, as Chilchuck found it infuriating how Senshi kept on wanting changes to be made to his security system, and how he was basically a walking construction accident waiting to happen

- once everything was finished however, Senshi offered Chilchuck a free dinner at his place as an apology for being stubborn, and unable to say no to free food (and alcohol) Chilchuck agrees

- they become friends after the dinner, however proceed to dance around each other for another 4 years until Marcille threatens to tell Senshi about Chilchuck’s feelings if he doesn’t confess himself

- Chilchuck does eventually confess (during a very charged “guy’s trip” to a resort in Mexico) and they start dating, after the trip, Senshi and Izutsumi move into Chilchuck’s place where they still currently live

- thanks to living with Senshi, Chilchuck adopts a more healthy lifestyle where he stops smoking, eats more, and drinks less, in return, he helps Senshi manage Izutsumi during her teen years as well as help out around his restaurant when he has time

- is generally living comfortably now, with a nice salary and more free time to commit to his hobbies, despite this he still deeply cares about his work and is a union man at heart who is always willing to rally behind his coworkers and organize when something happens

- mostly listens to 80s dad rock and some 90s grunge, is very proud of his CD collection

- dresses similar to Laios, however ditches the college club t-shirt and cargo shorts for polos shirts and chino shorts or dress shirts and casual slacks, also wears tacky boomer sandals for his feet or his construction boots

- drives a land rover defender that he bought in high school, cares for it deeply but isn’t a car guy by any means, he does the bare minimum maintenance to keep it safe and functional

- carries his minimal stuff in a sling bag and lunch cooler, but he also has a survival backpack in the back of his land rover for emergencies

- is a Stanley cup owner, has two, one from the 70s that his dad gave to him, and another white modern one from Marcille, his older one is covered in princess stickers from when his daughters were young

- pretentious black coffee drinker, makes fun of Izutsumi all the time for the amount of simple syrup and cream she puts into her iced coffee

- is okay at cooking, but is definitely more of a grill master, never ask him to deep fry anything though

- is also surprisingly handy thanks to the skills his dad passed onto him, speaking of his family, he isn’t very close to his mother and siblings since they all moved back to their home continent after Chilchuck graduated, he still sometimes travels alone on special holidays or on the anniversary of his father’s death but only if he can afford it

- is now a supervisor of his own crew, initially he wanted to own his own locksmith company, but he also wants to retire soon so he needs to save up as much as he can

- has two main friend groups, one he refers to as “the freaks” which includes Laios, Marcille, Fallin, Kabru, Izutsumi, and Senshi, and the other he refers to as “work” which includes Namari, Mickbell, Kuro, and Dandan

- is closest to Senshi and Marcille, seeing them as his family, however is a bit more distant with Izutsumi since he doesn’t want to automatically take on a “step-dad” role in her life, the reasoning mainly stems from his respect of her and her decisions on who she gets to let in her life, but is also because he wants to avoid things becoming awkward between them

- is, if not begrudgingly, friendly with Laios and Fallin, deep down he cares about them more than he lets on, is mostly cordial with Kabru

- is surprisingly close to Namari, however they keep their relationship strictly within their workplace and the bar they sometimes hit up afterwards

- is closer to his ex-wife and daughters now, having dinner once a month at his ex-wife’s house, they still haven’t really reconciled but they’ve allowed each other to move on

- more to add when I think of it

• Senshi (also super long please forgive me)

- is currently 52 and living with Chilchuck and his adopted daughter Izutsumi

- lives in Chilchuck’s house, but used to own a condo near the restaurant he used to work for

- when he was a child, he lived on an entirely separate continent in the remote far north, the village he grew up in was known for its mining industry, most of the community including his parents were miners, however an accident killed his father and cancer killed his mother when he was a baby, so his father’s friend Gillin took Senshi in when he was 2

- due to the mining culture surrounding the village, it was expected that Senshi also become a miner when he grew up, this coupled with the hyper-masculine ideas of honouring his late father and carrying on the bloodline, made Senshi not really put in much effort into school since he believed it had no use for him, a decision that would later hinder his career and degree options greatly

- once graduated from high school, Gillin immediately had Senshi take his safety courses and get his certification so he could get a job as soon as possible, with some references from Gillin himself, Senshi was able to land a beginner’s position within the company Gillin was in

- worked 7 years mining coal until the mine ran dry and he had to look for work elsewhere, jumped positions between 3-4 companies over another 8 years mining iron and copper until he landed a 2 year contract at a remote but booming silver mine

- was put into a 6 man team composed of himself, Gillin, Brigan, Invar, Totan, and Noor, where they would descend into a highly unregulated and dangerous mountain mine and extract the massive veins of silver, they all were paid well, but the conditions were next to abysmal

- 1 year and 9 months into the contract, a rockslide on the south side of the mountain caused a cheap tunnel support to collapse over the only exit leading out of the stope they were mining in, effectively trapping them indefinitely

- luckily they had a ventilation shaft, but none of them could fit inside and escape or yell for attention since they were trapped over 200ft deep and 500ft in the mountain, so their only option was to ration their food and wait for help to arrive

- they do try to escape in other ways, such as mining through the collapsed support, however this only leads to injury among the group, and as much as Senshi wanted to help, he was under strict instruction by Gillin not to over-exert himself, even though he wasn’t a kid anymore, he still had the most strength and wits among them all, this also results in him receiving the most food much to Brigan’s rage

- in an attempt to be useful, Senshi started drawing up the maps of the mine to see if there was a tunnel close by they could mine into

- as more time passes and they realized no one would be coming to help them, their escape attempts become much more desperate, one attempt to blow up the collapsed tunnel entrance with their remaining explosives leads to the death of Totan, another attempt to start mining over the collapsed tunnel entrance leads to the death of Noor, one last attempt to remove the panelling lining the ventilation shaft so they could be able to fit through leads to the death of Invar, leaving only Brigan, Gillin, and Senshi left

- after six weeks of being trapped under ground, Brigan mentally snaps and tries to cannibalize Senshi so they could eat his flesh, this leads to a physical altercation between Gillin and Brigan which ends in an unstable overhang of rock to collapse and crush Brigan and for Gillin to succumb to his wounds and exhaustion

- alone and starving, Senshi realizes he is now skinny enough to fit through the ventilation shafts and crawl his way out, he uses a combination of ropes and support spikes to help aid him, but soon quickly realizes he mostly has to navigate in the dark

- for two more weeks, Senshi follows the map he memorized and the feeling of airflow to make his way out, only surviving off of his remaining water, in the end he managed to crawl out of a shaft just outside the mining camp

- relived and also deeply saddened, Senshi remains near the shaft until some workers doing a perimeter check find him in the morning, he is promptly taken into the hospital to treat his injuries

- after explaining the situation to the police and his boss, his boss offers him a $30,000 payout to keep quiet and say nothing, the officers say it is possible to take his boss and the company to court, however it would likely put him into massive debt trying to find a good lawyer, in the end Senshi takes the money and leaves the camp for his village

- what’s left to him by Gillin is another $50,000 in savings and property assets, the rest is given to his remaining family, the first thing Senshi buys with the money is his adamantine pot and mythril knife, using both to make a soup Gillin would often feed him, and leaving five bowls of it outside of the collapsed silver mine before moving out of his village for good at aged 35

- he moves to the continent and city where all the other characters are currently living, buying his condo and deciding to enter into 4 year culinary school program

- during these 4 years, Senshi comes to realize that cooking is his true passion, finding it immensely rewarding and fulfilling, and even though he didn’t make many friends due to his unorthodox taste and recipes, it was still the most happy he’s ever been

- about 1 year after graduating and getting a job as the main line cook for a high end restaurant, Senshi meets and adopts 5 year old Izutsumi

- he initially sees her wandering around the green belt outside and behind the restaurant, kicking rocks and occasionally running and hiding in trees, he was always worried she was homeless, however would always see she was gone by the time he was done his shifts

- around five months of this, Izutsumi notices and begins to approach Senshi, as if she had wanted food, Senshi would usually offer some of his packed lunches or leftovers and she would always accept and sit next to him while they ate

- Izutsumi usually never spoke but was always ravenous, Senshi often worried that she was being abused, but whenever he would ask she would always say no, and since she was a healthy weight and never had any bruises or welts, Senshi reluctantly believed her, after that though he began packing more food

- eventually, a woman (Maizuru) approaches Senshi after one of his shifts and bluntly asked if he would like to take care of Izutsumi from then on, baffled he asked who she was and why she knew he was feeding Izutsumi, and she explained that she is her caretaker

- she also explained that since Izutsumi seemed to trust and respect Senshi the most, that he would be the best person to give her a chance at a normal life and raise her into an adjusted adult, due to the fact that she has no regard or interest or respect in her or the rest of her foster family, she then conceded that her question was rather sudden, but still implored Senshi to take her into his care or otherwise she would be forced into an orphanage

- thinking of Gillin, and with the wound of his crew’s death still in his mind Senshi, perhaps impulsively, agrees to take Izutsumi in, much to Maizuru’s delight and thankfulness

- the next day, she returns with Izutsumi and her things and tells Senshi that she will handle most of the legal paperwork aside from the few forms that he will have to sign

- from that point onward, he took care of Izutsumi and made sure she got through school, although she wasn’t completely responsive and obedient, he was still very patient and understanding with her, except for the first few times she would keep on running away from school to join him for his lunch breaks

- they have a very trusting relationship with one another, and Senshi is the only one Izutsumi will open up to, Senshi often encouraged her talent of athleticism by signing her up for various sports, he was and still is very attentive towards her needs and is always feeding her the things she likes (and dislikes)

- Senshi works at the restaurant for another 9 years, simultaneously saving up for his own restaurant and saving for Izutsumi’s college, at age 45 he meets Chilchuck during the construction of his restaurant and they form a close friendship

- subsequently, he is introduced to Marcille, Fallin, Laios, and even Kabru, but still mostly interacts with Chilchuck and Itsuzumi

- however he is quite close with Laios since he works as a server at his restaurant and is very enthusiastic about his cooking technique, flavour pallet, and types of dishes he serves

- at age 49, he officially opens his restaurant and starts dating Chilchuck, the three of them all move in together and become a household unit

- is now very happy with where he is at in life, works and manages his restaurant while still making time for Izutsumi and her hobbies, is very close with Chilchuck and becomes the first person he opens up to about his past and what he went through, generally the grossest and most sappiest old couple you will ever meet

- made a Senshi-sized hole deep into the fabric of Chilchuck’s home, converting his backyard into a full vegetable and flower garden that he maintains, is super proud about it and often leaves the prettiest flowers on Chilchuck’s side of the bed or in a vase on Izutsumi’s bedside table

- head-chef and owner of his restaurant, his favourite part is being able to cook what he wants for a very specific audience (people like Laios)

- his food is not super high-end but also not like a family diner either, a healthy mix of both, like kid friendly while still being classy and opulent enough to take someone out on a date there

- drives his beloved suzuki carry to and from work every day, does a good job maintaining it on his own despite it being boring according to him

- I honestly don’t really know what Senshi would listen to, I feel like the most in character for him would be folk music from his home country or bossa nova i can’t really decide

- coffee with lots of sugar but no cream or milk, prefers drinking black tea with milk and honey if he has a choice

- bag is a basic backpack with minimal items like wallet, keys, lipbalm, mints, etc… always has a change of clothes in case his gets dirty at work, also has extra hair and beard nets, some stuff for Izutsumi is in there too

- water bottle is also a vintage stanley cup, but his is wayyy more dented than Chilchuck’s and older (from like the 50s) refuses to buy anything else until it is unusable, has had the same piece of duct tape sealing a leak near the bottom for the past 20 years

- also can’t decide if he’s a t-shirt or Hawaiian shirt kind of guy, probably a healthy mix of both, also mostly wears shorts or a kilt-like garment native to his home country, lives exclusively in sandals you will never find him in close-toed shoes unless he’s working

- funny story deriving from this fact, the first impression Chilchuck ever had of Senshi (aside from “damn he’s kinda hot”) was “oh my god how the fuck is this guy not dead” due to the fact that Senshi showed up to the construction sight with flip flops, no safety helmet, and no safety vest on whatsoever

- more to add when I think of it

• Izutsumi (still a cat-girl in this universe)

- currently 17 and living with Senshi and Chilchuck

- used to live with the Nakamoto’s as a foster child, however hated living there due to the unfamiliarity and attempts at sweeping her past trauma under the rug and refusing to treat her for it

- life before the Nakamoto’s is fuzzy, it’s implied by her councillor and confirmed by Maizuru later on that she was raised by her mother until she died or abandoned her at 3 years old, was then placed into the care of another foster home who physically and verbally abused her, keeping her chained up in the basement most of the day and hardly feeding her, if not forgetting about her all together

- she was taken in by the Nakamoto’s at aged 4, and had a very hard time managing her due to her stunted social skills, anger issues, and delayed language development manifesting itself in avoidance behaviours such as running away and lashing out violently

- had frequent nightmares during this time, resulting in her becoming very clingy during the night

- would often run away to the green belt close to her house, the same green belt that was connected to Senshi’s restaurant

- initially only approached him because of the smell of food, her prior abuse and malnutrition resulted in an early form of binge eating, so she often sought any sight, smell, or taste food as a way of safety and comfort

- unlike all her previous caretakers, she found Senshi to not be malicious or uncaring towards her, especially after he started sharing and bringing food for her, her ease around him didn’t go unnoticed by Maizuru who then offered Senshi the deal to take care of her

- initially hated living in Senshi’s condo since the small space reminded her of the basement she was kept in, but soon found it to be much more comfortable if she could smell the food Senshi would make

- Received counselling for her trauma and slowly began to get better, however she would still frequently act out or skip school as a coping mechanism, however, Senshi helped her regulate her energy and emotions through signing her up for various sports, she did volleyball, hockey, wrestling, swimming, etc… until she settled on gymnastics and Muay Thai

- has somewhat of a complex towards love and attachment, in that she doesn’t fully believe an individual cares for her or loves her so will often do whatever she likes both because she doesn’t think it affects the other person that much and because it will prevent people from wanting to get close to her and have a meaningful relationship, a complex that stems from her past abuse

- is now in a much better headspace than she was in, as she has two caretakers who are patient and understanding with her, but are also willing to discipline her and prepare her for the outside world, she also has a good external support system and even a friend at school whom she often hangs out with

- she is currently in her junior year of high school, with decent grades, but only because Senshi and Chilchuck want her to do well so she has more options for university

- her best subjects are science, phsy ed., english, has a hard time with social studies and math

- her one friend her age is Tade as they both are frequently sent to the after-school homework program to help improve their grades, Izutsumi is usually good at shouldering off her homework to her in exchange for ice cream or food, but she’s usually caught and forced to do double the work

- Tade is also a foster kid of the Nakamoto’s, in fact she was the one Izutsumi would usually go to sleep with if she had a nightmare, so they never hang out at her house and either stay at Izutsumi’s house or hang out at the local park/mall

- is very talented athletically, and has won multiple awards at gymnastics and Muay Thai competitions

- still a ravenous eater, but with a crazy fast metabolism so she gains almost no weight, still picky with vegetables and mushrooms but will still eat them as long as their hidden in her food well enough

- coffee flavoured milk drinker, if there’s even a hint of bitterness in her coffee she’s throwing it out

- is into most old alternative or indie rock, appreciates Chilchuck’s taste in music immensely, she’s been learning how to play the bass recently

- has been learning basic recipes from Senshi and can manage a few dishes on her own, is much better at baking overall, never leave her alone with the blowtorch or barbecue though

- aside from sports, she enjoys playing video games and sleeping, she likes mostly storytelling or competitive console games like Skyrim, God of War, and Call of Duty

- bag is a simple black backpack that has all of her papers and textbooks haphazardly shoved in with no regard for neatness or organization, on a good day a pencil will be in there too

- water bottle is non-existent, she uses drinks from the school water fountain as an excuse to get out of class and wander around for a bit

- is old enough to drive and has her license, but doesn’t have her own car yet and still has to catch the bus, if she does drive it’s Senshi’s suzuki, Chilchuck let her drive his land rover once and she backed into a pole

- lives in crop tops and shorts, is actually quite fashionable but doesn’t have the energy or motivation to pull anything off, either wears converse, slides, crocs, or doc martens as footwear, most would describe her style as grunge-ish

- makeup is hit or miss, sometimes she can muster some concealer and eyeliner, but for the most part she just washes her face and nothing else, she is big into jewelry though and likes to wear lots of accessories

- has been allowed to pierce her ears quite extensively, as well as her nose, however both Senshi and Chilchuck have drawn the line at any other face piercings until she’s an adult, much to her dismay

- outside of Senshi, Chilchuck, and Tade, she is probably the most friendly with Marcille and Fallin as they frequently visit and interact with her, Marcille especially loves to spoil Izutsumi with treats and gifts since she never had a little cousin growing up

- Izutsumi likes Fallin for her quietness and ability to keep out of her business, however saw first hand how weird she can be when she held up a massive rhinoceros beetle without even flinching, also when she kept on excusing herself to their backyard to go snack on their strawberry plants

- Laios and Kabru she knows of, also finds Laios to be very weird but is less friendly about it than she is with Fallin, his lack of understanding of social cues also confuses her

- more to add when I think of it

AND THATS IT!!! This was stupidly long, I hope I didn’t bore you to death lol. I’ll probably do another one of these so I can include Chilchuck’s daughters, Kabru, Namari, etc… maybe with some additions to the main cast, but yeah that’s about the extend of it, hope you enjoyed :3

[reason-with-the-underdog]

haikavetham & childhood finances, pt 1

(analysis of alhaitham's & kaveh's attitudes towards money, with a focus on kaveh since more of his character story is about financial struggles)

Quick note: speaking from US-based pov but imo many things about poverty can be generalised & ofc these are all my hc’s! happy to debate and listen to different viewpoints on this subject~

Lets start with alhaitham!

alhaitham comes from a family with multiple famous scholars (both parents + grandmother), making them at least “middle class”

He also inherited multiple properties + a book collection

He seems to have pretty healthy financial habits:

stable job,

buys household “staples” like alcohol in bulk as a likely cost-saving measure,

enough “financial freedom” to buy ugly furniture and pay Kaveh’s alcohol tab, etc)

so that's alhaitham: he was born comfortable and continues to lead that comfortable life through careful decisions and choices.

now let's move onto kaveh

my overall argument for the arc of kaveh’s financial status is:

Early childhood: middle-class, stable finances

Tween-early teens: asset-rich but not much income, possibly living off dwindling savings, unstable finances

Teen-late 20s: rising wealth (rising young professional, able to save money), stable

Late 20s: bankruptcy & homelessness

Late 20s (immediately post AQ): broke (no assets, high income, high debt), unstable but has alhaitham’s support

none of these should be controversial beyond pt 2, so i'll focus on explaining that stage:

Kaveh’s bg started out similarly (both scholar parents, faranak was a famous architect)

but i argue that his family experienced financial instability and poverty after his father’s apparent abandonment + eventual death

First off, kaveh’s dad left to help aaru village for what seems like at least a few months, during which time it would have been just Faranak & a young kaveh at home

He never even communicated with them, judging by that half-finished letter,

and was considered “missing”

Faranak was a trooper during that time of apparent familial abandonment

bc she only seems to have broken down after his dad died

She couldn’t draw or work on designs, so she stopped working as an architect for some time

quite possible they lived off savings + neighbors’ generosity for at least a little while

the timeline’s unclear for the time in between kaveh’s father’s death, when faranak’s grief subsided enough for her to start working again, and when he entered akademiya...

I think a reasonable reading of this timeline is:

Kaveh’s father dies, faranak quits working

Kaveh enrolls into kshahrewar at “schooling age”

Faranak visits fontaine, gets architecture job offer, & moves abroad (kaveh is “all grown up now & could live independently”)

The sticking points here are how much time passes between points 1 & 2 vs 2 & 3. Which honestly comes down to what “schooling age” means imo

I interpret his chara story as implying faranak’s fontaine travel to be soon after he started attending school (when he has less time with his mother)

It sounds like she only visited once before getting a job offer & wanting to move abroad permanently (aka 2&3 are close together)

Given that at pt 3, kaveh can argue successfully that he’s “grown up” he’s at least a teenager (13+, teyvat is rather loose on how much responsibility teenagers can hold, look at diluc being cavalry captain at 14),

this suggests kaveh entered school as a late tween/young teen

Which pushes the gap between pt 1 & 2!

Because at pt 1 kaveh is referred to as “young” and “child” (also he wanted to play with the diadem as a toy), i think his age at pt 1 (pre-father's death) is around 7-9

So that’s potentially 4-6 or so years between pt 1&2 (kaveh entering school)

We don’t know if faranak gets a job before pt 3...

Lets say that’s worst case scenario. still that's pretty extreme & they must've had significant savings given that kaveh credits her with “raising [him] as a single mother”

and kaveh kept his childhood house until he was an adult

their finances were ok enough to not need to sell the house to stay afloat (altho not being homeless doesn't mean that they didn't struggle in other ways)

There’s room here for a variety of hc’s on how well off faranak & kaveh were during those pre-school years

So here’s where i explain why i strongly believe he experienced financial instability verging on privation (what might be described as “cash poor”, where you have assets but not much money to spend on bills and needs)

I fully admit that this is just headcanon without much canon evidence but in my defense,

kaveh being poor as a kid (& aware of it) explains some of his financial behaviors:

1. His lack of saving / him being very fast to spend his mora

Despite him being a big name architect, he complains that he “can’t seem to hold on to it” “it just disappears..."

many kids who grow up in poverty and later earn more either:

become big savers (never want to go back to being poor again) OR

are huge spenders

think about it... when you owe some million mora to dori.... that 10k mora given to charity is barely a fraction of your monthly payment 🤷.... Might as well do the nice thing and donate it (even if its a scam, more on this attitude later!)

2. Making impulsive financial decisions

kaveh decided to sell every single asset he owned to rebuild the Palace in a single night, which has HUGE repercussions on his entire life

(later on he says he underestimated how hard bankruptcy/homelessness would be, but still. no regrets)

Growing up poor and then dealing with economic uncertainty (ie, the palace’s destruction) is associated with increased impulsivity

3. Not looking for better financial terms

Dori’s interest rates are “somewhat reasonable”

....according to Kaveh, a super unreliable narrator who's quite nice to Dori despite the way she treats him

AND kaveh is already factoring in that he’s a genius famous architect prepared to overwork himself

Personal loan interest rates vary a lot depending on your credit, but it seems like 20% is average, 30% for bad credit

when kaveh says “rates that high” he’s referring to fakhr charging rates higher than 30%

while we dont have a true upper limit, given that kaveh uses 30% as a standard, it could be that dori’s interest rate is around that much, which is rather high considering kaveh didn’t actually have bad credit when he got the palace loan from her.

he already had several years of financial prosperity as a successful architect and had built up “savings” along with his property in terms of assets...

But this is dori so its believable, and kaveh in general doesn’t really seem to think he can get better from her (or in general)

And that type of helplessness when it comes to getting better treatment from financial institutions is common to people who grew up in poverty

Middle class folks might know that they can call the bank to have an overdraft fee reversed, but poor folks often don’t have that option (and even after not being “poor” anymore, they won’t know that they can call and might get the charge taken off)

Another example of kaveh not seeming to think he can protest grotesquely unfair terms at all

(he might have been able to contest the contract, etc... the legal system isnt that well defined in teyvat but still, he gave up with barely a fight instead of exploring his options)

And yes, ik it’s bc he’s more focused on the good the library will do for the children of aaru village...

but i’m trying to paint a larger picture here about behaviors that suggest a history of being financial insecure as a kid

part 2 link here

[blandtako]

Why did it have to be a Daffodil? | Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader | Chapter 2

➤ Summary: After having become close friends during their first year of Highschool, Hanbin and Y/N have become inseparable. Highschool, college, adulthood, nothing would change the fact that they'd always be there for one another, no matter how much it hurt. ➤ Pairing: Sung Hanbin x GN!Reader ➤ Genre: fluff, angst, highschool au, college au, unrequited love, slight smut (In certain chapters, there will be warnings). ➤ Warnings: language, alcohol consumption, allusions to anxiety and/or depression, suggestive, Hanbin is bisexual. The ff was written with the perception of a Male!Reader in mind, but I will be using gender neutral pronouns. More specific warnings will be added depending on the chapter. ➤ Status: Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 (Working) | upcoming ➤ Word Count: 6,7K ➤ A/N: Hello hello o/ I finally finished Chapter 2! I'm still struggling a bit when it comes to writing dialogues, but I'm hoping to eventually get better at it lmao. I was also thinking of potentially starting a taglist, so if anybody is interested please let me know! Any comment or form of criticism is appreciated, even the smallest ones ^^ With that said, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Have a good day <3

“I don’t really get it…” The sunlight crept into the dim-lit library of the school, the evening sun bathing the school building, as it cast long shadows on the floor. It was a quiet afternoon, an eerie silence filled the room as most students had either already left to go back home or had made their way to their clubs’ buildings. Y/N could feel the warmth the wooden desk had absorbed from the sun against their skin as their head was resting on it. Their eyes softened as they stared at the window. Y/N truly appreciated the tinge of orange the sky had been painted with as the sun was close to setting down. It made them feel comfortable, serene. If the desk itself weren’t so rigid, Y/N would have likely been able to fall asleep right then and there.

“What is it that you don’t get?” Another voice, this time female, made itself be heard as it interacted with the first one. “How are we supposed to write a conjoined essay about happiness? We all have different ways to become happy…” The voice that had initially spoken did so again, replying to the second one. “Mhhh…to be honest, I didn’t even know these types of essays were a thing. I think as long as we all agree with what ends up being written, we should be ok! What do you think Y/N?…Y/N?” Raising their head in a similar manner to when they normally woke up, Y/N looked blankly at their two group members, before plainly speaking up. “Yeah, sorry. That is fine by me. We could make a list of things that make us happy and then sort through that?”

When Mrs. Choi gave Y/N’s class a group assignment, Y/N wasn’t super pleased. They could be enjoyable of course, but having to rely on others when it came to their own grades, was not something Y/N was too pleased with. Not only because Y/N didn’t really want others’ poor jobs to affect them, but also because they didn’t want to disappoint classmates by possibly being the one to do a poor job. Y/N felt like it mostly depended on who they’d be paired with, and while they couldn’t complain much due to having been put in a group with Mingi, they weren’t super pleased by the fact that Hyena was also in their group.

Hyena wasn’t an unpleasant person to be around, and she and Y/N had known each other for some time now, as they had attended the same class during middle school. On top of that, she had joined the dancing club in high school as a member, and Y/N had applied to become the manager of that same club, so they even spent some time together.  She was smart and was also generally kind, but Y/N couldn’t help but feel awkward around her. Y/N thought it was the case due to the fact that they were classmates during middle school, and thus she was aware of things that Y/N would have much preferred be forgotten, but Y/N couldn’t deny that they felt like Hyena felt disingenuous at times.Y/N knew that if the group had gotten a bad grade they would feel bad because of the fact that Hyena usually faired better, and even if she didn’t show it, Y/N could tell that she was bottling up her anger. Each of them took out a paper and started writing onto it, and after a while, they all came to a pause unanimously. “As a first briefing, this should be good enough. We can share our papers and decide where to go from there.” Hyena suddenly stated, it was out of the blue, but she seemed to be in a rush. Y/N noticed Mingi raising his eyes to look at her in confusion. The young girl must have noticed as well, as her expression quickly morphed into an apologetic one, giving an attempt at a smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I can’t skip out on practice or I won’t be able to keep up with the others. I don’t know if first years will be included, but we have an upcoming tournament soon!” She quickly explained. Mingi hummed in response, and Y/N lightly nodded before opening their mouth to speak. “We’ll keep on working a bit more. I know the water bottles in the dancing club building are about to run out, tell the others I’ll bring some when we’re done.” Hyena nodded and bowed to the pair before she left the library. “I skipped baseball practice too though…” Y/N chuckled at Mingi’s tone of voice, although they could understand Mingi’s frustration as they had decided to take a day off of club activities to get started with the assignment as soon as possible. “I had already warned our Club leader about the fact that Hyena and I wouldn’t have been there today, but I can understand why she’d want to keep up with practice.” “Oh, I understand her reasons as well, and they’re called Sung Hanbin.” Mingi sarcastically added. At that statement, Y/N couldn’t help but turn their head towards Mingi, focusing all of their attention on him. “What do you mean?” Mingi raised an eyebrow at that question, making Y/N feel even more curious. “What do you mean what do I mean?” Y/N narrowed their eyes as they tried to focus more, but they genuinely could not think of anything. “Are you for real?! You can always tell when Alice is interested in someone though?” “But what does that have to do with this…?” Mingi paused for a second to take a glance at Y/N, proceeding to laugh at their cluelessness. “Hyena likes Hanbin. Or at least I’m pretty sure that’s the case. She always follows him around and laughs to every single thing he says…why do you think she started sitting with us at lunch from time to time?”

Y/N was dumbfounded by this information. They tried to think of such an instance, but they really couldn’t think of much. It was true that Hyena had been sitting with their group more often than she did before, but Y/N thought it was all just a coincidence. It was weird, Y/N prided themselves in being quite observant to people’s behaviors. If they were to pay attention to someone, they would usually be able to at least read them a bit. To be honest, Y/N had become comfortable enough with the group of friends they had formed to the point of not really needing to care about these kinds of things, but to be completely unaware of it? How could their gossiping soul miss such a detail? Then again, maybe Mingi was just wrong; Sung Hanbin had a lot of charisma, it felt normal to Y/N to pay him a lot of attention. He always spoke in such a honey-laced tone of voice that nobody would be able not to get lost in his speeches. Even as he danced you’d end up too mesmerized by his moves, your eyes wouldn’t be able to stare at anything else. One would be simply glad to be able to spectate such a scenery, and it truly made Y/N happy; they even thought about whether or not to put it in their list of things. Y/N would describe him as a mythological Siren, just…kinder and not as hungry for humans. Y/N hummed to themselves. “I think you’re just reading too much into it…” It was now Mingi’s turn to tilt his head to the side. “Pay attention to it next time we’re all together, you’ll see what I mean.” As the conversation died down, the two went over the material they had gathered, and while they couldn’t really come up with something that really contained all of their ideas, they were at least able to write down a general introduction to their essay that in their opinion was pretty good. Mingi sent a file version of it onto the group chat they made. The two picked up their things and made their way out of the room, concluding that they had done a good job for the first day of work. Y/N was a serial procrastinator, but because it was a conjoined effort, the sooner they began the better. Y/N accompanied Mingi to the school’s gate, as his mother had come to pick him up. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” He waved at them, and Y/N waved back. Y/N’s gaze then moved up to the sky; it wasn’t that late, but the sun was almost completely gone and the scenery had darkened. Y/N noted to themselves how there weren’t many clouds. Autumn was about to be replaced by Winter the same way it had previously replaced Summer. Wrapping their arms around their body to warm themselves up, Y/N made their way back to the main building. As the manager of the dancing club, Y/N had access to the storage room key, where they went to pick up the stash of water bottles for the club. They were heavy, and Y/N’s physical capabilities were lacking at best. They took quite a few breaks, but eventually they managed to get to the dancing club building’s doors.

The noise of shoes swiping across the floor could be heard from outside as well. When Y/N initially joined the club, they found that noise to be unnerving; it rang in their ears, and it made focusing on anything impossible. Three months had passed since that moment now, and eventually Y/N had gotten used to it, their mind alienating said noise whenever it came into play. Y/N opened the door, and made their way inside. There were a bit more than a dozen students that were practicing, an unpleasant smell of sweat filled the room, followed by multiple pantings once the music stopped playing. It was surprising how focused all of them were, nobody had really even realized that Y/N were there up until their voice called out for them. “Anybody wants a bottle?” As if they were a savior descended to Earth in order to save them all, literally every single one of the club’s members turned in their direction, eyes fulfilled with hope. “Y/N! PLEASE!” One of the students, Hyunjin, immediately ran towards them as they saw them, a hint of desperation clouding their tone of voice. Y/N’s expression became perplexed, their eyes wandering throughout the room, analyzing every face in the room, spotting many exhausted looks. Once they landed on the dance club’s leader, Y/N immediately understood why. “...Minho Hyung is not letting us go until we perform the choreo perfectly…he’s a monster…” Hyunjin cried out quite dramatically as he clinged to Y/N’s side. Y/N lightly patted his shoulders, before turning around to face the club leader. Minho had a name for being quite reserved and direct with people, but also very kind to anyone who treated others with respect. When it came down to dance practice though, there was not a single mistake that went past his scrutiny, and he would do his best to have everyone improve, even if it became very difficult to keep up. As the Manager of the club and as a younger student though, Y/N could experience all the positives without any of the negatives. “Senior, it’s getting quite late and a majority of the other clubs are already empty. I know that the tournament isn’t far away, but if you keep on straining yourselves, by the time you’ll have to participate, you’ll look like ragdolls.” Y/N’s voice came out quietly, although it was imposing enough to convince their club leader to let the others rest. He sighed as he agreed to let them go home. “Get freshened up and pick up your things, you did good for today.” He simply stated as he moved to get one of the water bottles Y/N had brought in. Many others did the same, picking up a water bottle before moving to the changing rooms. Y/N could hear footsteps coming from behind as they were handing out bottles left and right.

“Our savior…” A pair of arms wrapped themselves around Y/N’s stomach, a figure leaning closer into their back before proceeding to nuzzle their head in the crook of Y/N’s neck. “...I swear, you’re one of the few people Minho Hyung listens to.” A familiar feeling washed over Y/N, who didn’t push away the other, despite the fact that they hated sweat in all of its forms. “Sung Hanbin…you’re drenched in sweat.” Their tone of voice was firm, but there weren't any signs of irritation in it. Hanbin let go of Y/N, taking a step back and smiling as the other offered him a bottle of water. “Thank you.” “How was practice? You don’t look that tired considering that everyone else looks like they’ve been through war.” To be fair, it was very much true. Hanbin was out of breath as well, but he didn’t look any worse than he normally would have, and even though he was very much sweating, that only made him look better somehow. Y/N bit into their own cheek as they realized how frustrating that was. Hanbin simply chuckled. “Minho Hyung can be tough during practice, but he’s a very good teacher. We’ve improved quite a bit though, I’d say it was a productive day for us. What about your project? I thought Hyena was a part of your group?” Y/N nodded in return. “Mingi and I kept on working on it. I feel like we’ve done a good enough job for today…besides, there is still an entire week ahead of us, so I’m not too worried.”  Y/N paused for a second, their gaze fixed on Hanbin’s figure as he took a sip of water from the water he was handed. Their mind began cycling back to what Mingi had told them about earlier in the day, about Hyena and her liking Hanbin. Y/N couldn’t help but admit to themselves that indeed, Hanbin was quite attractive. They couldn’t have blamed her for falling for his charms, yet for some reason Y/N refused to conclude that her liking him was true. Just as they thought of that, Y/N could spot the girl they were thinking about coming towards the pair. Her cheeks were flushed because of all the physical activities she had to endure, yet she smiled kindly. Y/N went to pick up another bottle to offer to her. “Thank you!” She mouthed as Y/N gave her the bottle, proceeding to drink off of it. “No worries. Oh, by the way, Mingi sent a document of what we have done so far in the group chat, read it whenever you have some time and let us know what you think. She nodded “Will do, thank you and sorry I couldn’t stay throughout the whole thing!” Y/N shook their head. “It’s all good, I understand that practice was important.” The girl smiled back at them, silently thanking Y/N for their understanding of the story. As Y/N turned around to go store the water bottles that remained into the club’s storage, their ears perked up as Hyena’s voice resounded behind them. “You did really well today, Hanbin. Your moves always look so…polished, it’s beautiful really. I truly wish I could be as good as you. I’m sure you’ll be chosen to be on the team for the tournament if you keep this up!” The young man’s hearty laugh followed. “Don’t say that…you have improved quite a lot yourself! You should be proud of it, I’m sure that all of the seniors have noticed how much effort you’re putting in!” Y/N walked in the storage’s direction, but as they did so, something was telling them to stay put in order to listen to what was being said. ‘Listening in on others’ conversations is not something you do, Y/N.’ They reminded themselves as they scrapped the idea almost immediately. But was it true? Was that something Y/N wouldn’t do? Maybe they should have stayed still just for a little bit, there was no harm in wanting to confirm something. Y/N sighed as they cursed themselves and Mingi for having put weird thoughts in their head. As they walked away from the two, Y/N could hear the pair complimenting each other continuously. Was Mingi right? Did Hanbin maybe like Hyena too? Y/N felt embarrassed by their own scandal-loving tendencies.

Y/N felt their phone vibrating within the pocket of their pants. Alice had messaged them, telling them that her volleyball practice was over. Y/N hummed to themselves, their fingers moving to digit a reply back to her. <<I’m at the dancing club. Waiting on Hanbin. Do you want me to wait for you outside?>> Her response was almost immediate. <<Way too cold lol, I’m coming in.>> Y/N sent a thumbs up before putting their phone back into their pocket. Minho wasn’t a huge fan of people who weren’t members of the club entering the building without a reason, but in the past three months, he had been overwhelmed by Alice’s energy to the point where he had gotten used to it. The fact that she was Y/N’s friend also helped. As they left the room, Y/N couldn’t see Hyena or Hanbin anymore. When they asked where they went, Hyunjin told them that Hyena had already made her way out of the club, while Hanbin had told him to warn Y/N that he had decided to take a quick shower. They nodded in response, and went to sit onto one of the benches as they waited for Alice and Hanbin. <<I bought you snacks for tonight.>> A message from their sister came. <<Thank you <3>> Y/N had asked their family if Hanbin could have stayed over for the night, as they wanted to have a movie night, not having to wake up early the following day due to it being the weekend. To be honest, asking at this point was just a sign of respect, but they knew that their family was already aware of the fact that Hanbin would have slept there that day. Since the two had become neighbors, they started spending a lot of time together. Hanbin was overjoyed after having discovered that, and because he also had to get the bus back home, he began sitting next to Alice and Y/N. Y/N had also gotten very close to Matthew, and Jisoo and Taerae went to the same club, and he also loved playing video games, just like Mingi, Alice and Y/N, so the two groups of friends became close quite naturally. Starting from having lunch together, Hanbin and Y/N ended up spending so much time together that not finding them in the same place while lessons weren’t a thing seemed almost impossible. They usually studied at each others’ homes, and during the weekends they would have sleepovers. It had become a habit for their families as well, to the point where they too had turned into friends due to how often they’d see the others’ child.

Y/N found that weird initially. Hanbin was popular among his peers; everyone appreciated his personality, he was an extrovert and was very likable overall. He was also talented at whatever he did, and was generally smart too. It truly felt like he had it all. For him to be so fixated on the idea of becoming Y/N’s friend…it was weird. But Hanbin managed to win Y/N over basically immediately. Y/N themselves couldn’t tell why, but Hanbin’s presence was almost magnetic to them. Hanbin managed to come into Y/N’s world, break it down and recreate a better version of it, one where Y/N themselves could feel happier about. Hell, Y/N used to dislike physical contact with people, but Hanbin managed to change their mind pretty quickly. Y/N might have joked around with Hanbin, telling him that it was tiring to live with as much positivity as he did, but truthfully, they were glad to have met the young man. A buzzing of voices caught Y/N’s attention, leading them to raise their head in that direction. Before they did though, Y/N could already tell who it was. That voice was far too familiar not to recognize it by now. “Senior! I was looking for Y/N!” Y/N felt second-hand embarrassment by witnessing Alice’s interaction with Hyunjin. It was so blatantly obvious to them that their best friend liked the blonde man, be it her tone of voice or the way she started fidgeting with her fingers around him, Y/N could ALWAYS tell when Alice liked someone. It could be described as a super power of sorts. It did puzzle them as to why they couldn’t do the same with others; that way they’d know whether or not Hyena actually liked Hanbin. Their friend’s upbeat steps preceded her voice as she got closer to them, whispering. “Is he still looking at me?” Y/N’s eyes looked past her, in order to check if Hyunjin was actually doing that or not. “NOT LIKE THAT!” Alice’s unlikely whisper scolded them for directly checking that out. “...You can’t look at him or he’ll know…” She went back to an actual whisper. “He wasn’t looking.” She sighed. “Hyunjin is quite handsome, but he’s pretty chill. Quite goofy too. You shouldn’t let a man have that much control over your emotions…” Y/N spoke plainly, their tone clearly teasing Alice. “It’s not my fault…pretty men are my weakness.” She retorted dramatically, holding her chest as she posed. “Isn’t the sweat a turn off? Dance practice was really tough today, I’ve heard.” “Are you kidding? It’s even better. Oh goodness. Am I sweating? Did he see me sweat?” Before they could answer, Y/N felt someone slide ride next to them, putting one of their arms around Y/N’s shoulders. “I doubt he would have cared, Hyunjin Hyung isn’t the type.” Hanbin’s wet hair stuck to his forehead, a couple of droplets falling off of it. “Do you think so, Hanbinnie?” He simply chuckled in response. Before anybody could get another word in, Alice began waving at every single club member that passed by, all of whom greeted her back. She had become a sort of mascot for the club.

“I hate to break it to you, but we need to rush to the school gates. The bus will be here in 5 minutes.” Y/N called out to the two. They nodded and all quickly made their way to the bus stop, making small conversation in between steps. Alice’s volleyball practice was also tough. Most schools’ tournaments were around the same period of time, so it made sense to Y/N that their practices would all become tough. The bus ride back home was very quiet. The sky had darkened, there weren’t many clouds left and it seemed like it was accompanying the world to rest as well. Hanbin and Alice were both very tired, their bodies ached, and Y/N understood that they might not have felt like talking. Alice’s voice denied that thought though. “What movie will you be watching tonight?” Hanbin, who sat in front of her, shrugged. “We haven’t decided yet.” “Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Y/N asked. “I wish. My parents and I will have lunch with my grandparents tomorrow.” “Didn’t you say your mother was making budae jjigae today? I thought that was your favorite.” Hanbin stated, clearly taunting Alice. “You’re on thin ice, Sung Hanbin. First you steal my best friend, then you attack me with food…this isn’t a good look on you.” They all chuckled, and Y/N clinged to Alice’s side jokingly. “You don’t have to be jealous, Hanbin is just a fling. It’s nothing serious, I promise!” “I’m a FLING?! I thought we were endgame, Y/N, ENDGAME.” The rest of the ride was filled with jokes and laughter. It was pleasant.

Y/N and Hanbin said goodbye to Alice as they got to her bus stop, and after that they too arrived at theirs. “Your hair is still wet, aren’t you cold?” Y/N asked. Hanbin was now wearing comfortable clothes he wore after the shower. Y/N had told him that if he wanted to, he could shower at their place, but Hanbin insisted that it was fine.

Y/N didn’t really agree, mainly because they loved getting in front of the fireplace after a shower when the climate was cold.“I’m ok, although I am kinda looking forward to your mother’s budae jjigae to warm up…” “Oh you have no idea how hungry I am right now. I’m only hoping she started making dinner already.” The pair quickly walked to Y/N’s house, and as they went to open the door, a wave of warmth and comfort overwhelmed them. Y/N had come to the conclusion that there was no better feeling than coming home after school, especially in the evening. The two didn’t even the time to step into the house, D/N’s waltzed out of the building to their direction, barking loudly while wagging its tail. “We’re home!” Y/N stated loudly for everyone to hear. They kneeled a bit to pat D/N, who was happily looking for attention…up until it noticed that Hanbin was also there, which prompted it to completely ignore Y/N and go cheer for the young man, who returned its attention with just as much cheerfulness. “Traitors…the both of you.” Hanbin chuckled, and they all made their way into the cozy house. The pleasant smell of soup invaded their nostrils, relieving them as that meant that Y/N’s parents had already started making dinner. “Welcome back!” Y/N’s sister’s voice was the first to greet them, as she was already in the hallway. “Hanbin! How was school?” “Noona! It went well, there wasn’t a lot to do today. How was your work day?” Y/N’s sister sighed. “As good as it could be, meaning not that well. I wish I were still in school like you guys.” She chuckled and then proceeded to make her way to her room. Y/N led Hanbin to their room, where the pair left their school supplies and bags before walking back downstairs and entering the kitchen. Y/N’s mother was cooking, while their father was setting the table up. Y/N could feel their eyes lighting up the moment they saw Hanbin. “See? They love you more than they do me.” Y/N commented statically, to which Hanbin laughed. “You guys came just in time, dinner’s about to be ready in 5 minutes at most!” Y/N’s mother told them, as Y/N’s father started putting the side dishes on the table. They asked the typical questions you’d ask someone who had just come back from school. Hanbin and Y/N would reply, with Hanbin asking a few questions back, but really, all they could focus on at the moment was the food. Hanbin moved to go help Y/N’s father in setting up what was left to set up on the table, meanwhile Y/N called out for their sister to come join them. They soon sat around the table, and started to enjoy Y/N’s mother’s cooking. “Mrs. L/N, your budae jjigae is always the best.” Hanbin exclaimed as he took another spoon full of soup. Y/N found his way of filling his cheeks with food as he bit into it quite cute; it always reminded them of a hamster. “Aw, you’re always so sweet, Hanbinnie! I wish someone could be more like you…” She said, eyeing both of her children. “We’ve been living with you our entire lives. You know me, if your food wasn’t good, I would have already escaped from this household.” Y/N joked, their mother replying with a simple ‘mhm’. Dinner proceeded smoothly, there weren’t awkward questions from their parents, which made Y/N breath a sigh of relief, as they could be a bit…invasive at times. Their father kept on pushing for Hanbin to eat more, which was a habit they were all used to whenever someone visited them for lunch or dinner. “What should we watch later?” Hanbin asked as he finished his plate. “I’m not sure, I’ll take a shower after dinner and in the meantime you can look up to see if you find anything on streaming platforms. We basically have them all…” Hanbin nodded, his eyes’ hues bright as the warmth of the soup had also reached his cheeks, giving them a natural blush. Y/N noticed their own gaze lingering on him for a second too long before they caught themselves and went back to their soup.

As everyone finished their meal, they all helped cleaning the kitchen, and as they were done, Y/N moved to the bathroom in order to take a shower. The urge of remaining still under the jet of warm water that hit their skin was strong, especially considering how cold the weather had gotten, but Y/N knew that they couldn’t keep Hanbin waiting for long. Hanbin likely wouldn’t have minded considering how used they had gotten to be at one another’s place, but it still felt rude. Internally groaning once they were done, Y/N left the warmth embrace of the shower’s water, only to be hit by an immediate freezing breeze that made their whole skin shiver. Y/N’s red bathrobe aided in fighting the cold, but it was only after they got in their pajama that they managed to stabilize their body temperature to a comfortable degree.

When Y/N got to the living room, Hanbin had already found the time to change into his own pajamas. He had taken his usual spot on the couch, and had made himself cozy by wrapping himself in a red plaid that Y/N’s mother usually used as an extra layer of sheets during winter if the weather got too cold. Hanbin’s cheeks were of the same color as he scrolled through the various shows and movies that the streaming platforms presented. The table in front of the couch had been filled with various snacks, both sweet and savory, and two cups of piping hot tea completed the ensemble. Y/N couldn’t help but smile at the sight. “Have you decided what to watch?” Y/N could feel Hanbin jolt up, his gaze turning towards their figure. The young man didn’t speak, seemingly taking in Y/N’s presence for a few seconds. He stuttered. “Uh-I…I was thinking about a classic…what do you think about ‘Beauty and the Beast’?...” Y/N sat on the couch next to him nodding. “Sounds good, I’m down.” “Your mother gave me this…” Hanbin unwrapped himself from the blankets, offering them to Y/N, who happily grabbed its hems. Y/N made themselves comfortable, and soon enough, they started playing the movie. Aside from a few comments they made from time to time, the pair remained silent throughout the majority of it. Hanbin usually had a lot of energy, and was capable of bringing out a similar type of energy from others as well. He was very much an extrovert, capable of making friends in a matter of minutes. While he did help out Y/N become more comfortable around people though, Y/N knew they weren’t anywhere close to Hanbin’s levels. In the past, Y/N could mainly pretend to be ok around people, but mainly thought about what to do once alone most of the time. Since Hanbin breached into their life, they had gotten used to actually spend time with people while enjoying said time…still, Y/N remained very much an introvert, and needed their time alone. Thankfully though, despite Hanbin usually being full of energy, he knew how to respect Y/N’s needs. It was a comfortable silence, they didn’t need to talk to enjoy their time together, they didn’t need to be constantly at a 100. Y/N really appreciated that aspect of their friendship.

As the movie progressed, the two got more and more tired. They naturally ended up coddling one another, Y/N leaning into Hanbin’s side as he allowed them to rest their head on his left shoulder and part of his chest. Y/N’s fingers traced maps into Hanbin’s skin, making him feel more and more comfortable as time passed. An outsider who didn’t know them could have mistaken them for a couple, but they felt like it was a common thing for friends to be that close. Y/N knew that their friendship was not something to take for granted, they were fully aware of it. Their relationship with Alice was similar, but different at the same time. Y/N didn’t really know how to explain it, they just felt that way. By the time the movie was over, Y/N’s parents and sister had already gone to bed. It wasn’t that late, but they were just those types of people. The snacks were almost completely depleted, and the cups were long emptied. “Classics are difficult to beat.” Hanbin stated lightly, but with a somewhat proud tone of voice. Y/N chuckled. “That’s true in most cases, yeah.” They didn’t move, savoring the comfortable presence of the other. “Do you want to go to bed?” Hanbin asked with a soft tone of voice. He didn’t seem tired though. “Do you want to?” “It’s up to what you want to do.” Y/N’s head turned to face Hanbin, a glint of malice sparked in their eyes. “You know what time it is?” Hanbin smiled almost instinctively at Y/N’s words. “No, what time is it?” Y/N jumped upwards, detaching themselves from Hanbin to face him. Their legs were crossed as they leaned to the side to pick up another piece of milk chocolate to munch on. “IT IS SHARING SECRETS TIME!” Hanbin bursted out laughing. “I knew you would say that!” Ok, maybe Y/N did like gossip a little bit, and they couldn’t blame Mingi for having awakened those tendencies, since they were already there. They didn’t really care about bad-mouthing others, but their thirst for others’ business was quite huge. To the point where their whole group of friends knew that at some point, Y/N would start asking random questions just so that they could know the answer. No matter how dumb it was. “You start!” “Of course I do.” Hanbin laughed once again, to him, Y/N’s predictability was cute. “What can I share if we’re always together anyway?” “I don’t know, anything really…Oh.” Hanbin tilted his head to the side as he felt as if Y/N had come up with something to ask. “What do you want to know?” He asked. “Um….” Y/N started speaking, although they didn’t really know how to question what they wanted to ask without it coming off as a bit weird. “Hanbinnie.” “Mhm, that’s me.” “You know how you’re really popular around school…” Y/N was trying to climb onto mirrors in order to avoid being direct. “I wouldn’t really say that…but go on.” “A lot of people admire you, you know?” “They do?” “...So I was thinking…do you…maybe…perhaps…mayhaps…” Hanbin couldn’t handle it anymore, moving to grab Y/N’s hands to shake them as rapidly as possible. He spoke again, his tone of voice still holding a cheerfulness in it. “L/N Y/N, for the love of God, cut to the chase!” Y/N whined at that. “...Is there someone that you fancy?”

Hanbin was dumbfounded by that question. His mouth formed a small ‘O’ shape as he tried to formulate his words. Y/N was interested in many things, but romance wasn’t usually one of those. “...Not really, no. Why do you ask?” Y/N hummed at that response. They were somewhat comforted by that. Y/N thought that when people get into a relationship, it becomes more difficult to see them. “No reason, I thought that since you’re well-liked, there would probably be some people who see you as a potential partner.” Y/N was confident that their tone of voice wouldn’t have let out the true reason as to why they were asking. Y/N didn’t want Hanbin to think Hyena liked him like that if that weren’t the case, it would have just caused confusion. “What about you?” This time it was Hanbin’s turn to ask, Y/N felt a shiver run down their spine. They didn’t know why, but it felt like Hanbin had a sudden change of behavior; he seemed much more serious. “What about me?” “Do you like someone?” His response was immediate, no second thoughts. Laughters came naturally. Y/N found that question dumb; Y/N wasn’t really popular, nor were they particularly attractive in their eyes. They weren’t really smart, nor good at sports. They weren’t funny, nor were they mysterious enough to be considered interesting. Who’d be interested in a relationship with someone like that? “Yeah, that ain’t ever gonna happen.” Hanbin’s features relaxed, as his expression went back to a smile.

“I’m far too busy supporting you and the club to think about those things.” Y/N proudly stated as they held their hand on their chest. Hanbin chuckled. “You know, Minho Hyung said that I have a very high chance to make it in the team for the tournament…” Y/N’s eyes brightened as Hanbin said that. “WHAT WERE YOU WAITING FOR TO TELL ME?!” “Sharing secrets time?” Y/N paused for a second before laughing, lightly hitting Hanbin’s arm, only to then wrap him in their arms. “...Congrats, you’re doing amazing…” Y/N knew how passionate Hanbin was about dancing. They knew how much he cared, and how happy he must have been for that. Hanbin hugged them back, nuzzling his head in the crook of their neck. “Thank you for always pushing me to do my best…” “What do you mean? I didn’t do anything, it was all your hard work…and it paid off!” “You did more than you think…” Hanbin’s voice came out almost as a whisper. It surprised Y/N. Hanbin could be cheesy at times, but this time it felt different. “What do you-” Before Y/N could finish their sentence, a loud roar exploded in the night. Initially, it came slowly, a single boom. Multiple ones then started following. They increased in numbers again and again, until their sparkles could be heard continuously. “...No way.” Y/N’s expression became more and more excited as they realized what was going on. Their body acted before their mind; they grabbed Hanbin’s hand and rushed through the hallways of the house, until they were in front of the door to open it.

As they did so, the two were met by the sight of arcing fireworks litting the sky ablaze, painting rainbows of starlight into it. Some shot straight up before exploding, others made swirls to create spirals, others shattered into thousands of sparks, and others tumbled like a shower of colorful lights. Y/N couldn’t stray their gaze from them. They were hypnotized by those lights in the sky, lights that combined themselves with the stars that were lit ablaze in the vast sky to create the most magnificent picture one could think of. Their mouth was opened in awe, as they smiled as genuinely as they could have ever smiled. Hanbin appreciated the beauty of the spectacle as well, although the picture he was admiring was a different one. Y/N turned around, meeting the other’s eyes and smiling at him. They were still holding hands, enjoying the comfort and warmth they shared with that simple gesture. ‘What is Happiness?’...it was a difficult question, but Y/N would have answered by describing that exact moment.

[queenklu]

Antiques Roadshow has scandals? I’d love to hear about them. That show was like crack for my family when I was a kid. My father was convinced the next yard sale or thrift store or junk store was going to have his big break

Okay, so, the BIGGEST scandal of the Antiques Roadshow (USA version, idk if the Brit version has scandals) is, well, the watermelon sword.

See, part of the problem with the Antiques Roadshow from the get-go is that the appraisers are not paid. Your only means of making money at these multi-day-long events is 1) to facilitate a later sale, earning a portion of what the item sells for, or 2) get famous enough by being on TV that you then get viewers coming to you later for business. How to guarantee that you'll be on tv as much as possible?

Russell Pritchard III and George Juno (pictured left) realized they had the winning combination: 1) access to lots of artifacts, and 2) lots of friends who want to be on tv.

Enter Mr. Sadtler (pictured right). He brings in a Civil War era sword. It belongs to his family, he says. He found it in an attic, he says. He cut watermelon with it as a kid, he says.

GJ says it's worth $35,000. In 1997.

....yeahhhhhh it was never his sword.

NOW LISTEN. NONE OF THIS IS ILLEGAL. Antiques Roadshow didn't have a rule against it because they didn't think they had to, but as soon as they figure out what these boys are up to, they ditch them and cut all ties. (They now have a rule against it.) Do you think these guys learned their lesson?

Following their dismissal from the show, the two continued to defraud people of their items, going so far as to falsely identify themselves as members of a museum to encourage a particular family to sell their precious ancestral artifacts relating to the famous Confederate General George Pickett. Similarly, the two also worked together to steal a Zouave uniform from an actual museum's collections in order to replace it with a similar Belgian uniform so that they could sell the original to a private collector.

And they were still up to similar shenanigans in the year of our lord 2020.

Anyway, that's absolutely the biggest scandal from Antiques Roadshow (USA), as a lot of the other things appraiser-related happened in their personal life off of the show. The only other one I've found worth mentioning is this:

Appraiser Stephen Fletcher: "When we look at the base clay, it’s red ware, and the potter has used an impressive array of techniques to come up with this extraordinary texture. This, in its own way, is really over the top. It’s bizarre and wonderful. You even see a little bit of, like, Pablo Picasso going on here. It’s a little difficult to identify precisely when this was made, but I think it’s probably late 19th or early 20th century… Probably its origin, it’s coast of the United States, maybe Middle Atlantic states headed southward. Estimating its value is a little difficult. I think in a retail setting, somebody might well ask in the area of between $30,000 and $50,000 for this."

At which point Betsy Soule, who made this pot in the 70s, in high school art class, decided to give PBS a call.

...Fletcher reappraised it for $3-5 thousand.