#we stan a pan

[plenilune]

cannot express to you what a weird election cycle this is to be processing that my political alignment has been reaching for practical anarchism this whole time

yes slightly more "left" politicians in office so we have to counteract slightly less harm NO WHY IS EVERYONE STANNING THE POLITICIANS AGAIN THEY ARE STILL UPHOLDING A ROTTING SYSTEM GET BACK HERE LET'S DO THE WORK IT IS NOT BRUNCH TIME UNTIL ALL OF US ARE FREE

[ilikerosesalot]

"I'm sure you still remember it, that was a love song" she says while looking like THIS FOR THE ANNI

[wendytestabrat]

my plan to torture myself with every disney movie ever made

rn i’m on a mission to torture myself with watching and re-watching every animated disney movie (not pixar, the shit from the other studio) bc i have absolutely no life and i choose to spend my time as a grown adult watching shit made for 3 year olds. i’ve never been a big disney fan i always found the movies boring af bc they’re way too kid friendly and hardly appeal to adults or have any edge to them, unlike nickelodeon cartoons and even shit from other animated movie studios like dreamworks and blue sky, but that’s a whole different story (i love pixar tho) like even before disney turned into woke bullshit i never cared for it that much, but the movies back then were still 100x better than the crap they’re making now, honestly i think disney went downhill when they started making the movies CGI bc tangled was their last good masterpiece. it ruined that classic animated 2D feel that walt brought to the table. honestly this is a huge problem in animation in general like why is every movie CGI now can we please go back to the 2D shit??? so yeah i’m actually uncultured af and have hardly seen any disney movies DJDJSKSK and the ones i have seen i only watched once when i was a kid so it feels like my first time watching a lot of these. so yeah anyway i feel the need to torture myself with a bunch of movies i don’t even like that much bc as an animation connoisseur i don’t like feeling uncultured abt literally the biggest animation company in the world and feel the need to give my expert opinion. aladdin is the best i’ve watched so far in my binge that movie is honestly top tier and the only one i consider a cinematic masterpiece (AND appeals to adults), now i understand the hype around that movie bc i’ve been living under a rock. i feel like the genie character added a huge comedic element to it that most disney movies are missing lol. beauty & the beast is def a close second tho that movie feels 100x more mature than the other disney princess movies. ig disney movies are supposed to be animated dramas rather than comedies so yeah if ima go in expecting comedy ima be disappointed lol. so if ya’ll see me randomly posting shit abt disney movies in the next few days now u know why. we’ll see if i can also get around to torturing myself with some of the live action remakes and direct to dvd sequels and see if they’re rlly bad as everyone says they are lol. the only remakes i’ve seen are alice in wonderland, cruella, christopher robin, & maleficent (and prob 101 dalmations a longass time ago). i’ve been scared to watch the rest bc of how shitty they look lol.

what i’ve watched so far in this binge:

•snow white & the seven dwarves - this movie is boring af and dopey carried the whole thing. like 50% of the screen time is spent on animals singing, imagine having the opportunity to make the first ever full length animated feature film in 1937 and u choose to make a movie about a bunch of dumb animals SINGING

•sleeping beauty - boring, what even is this movie? the title of this movie should actually be “three retarded fairies” bc sleeping beauty herself does absolutely nothing in this movie LOL

•cinderella - boring but better than sleeping beauty & snow white. i loved cinderella as a kid tho but yeah as an adult not so much fhjdjsks

•peter pan - so damn boring MY GOD this one might actually be the worst i’ve watched so far, it’s not as good as i remember it being as a kid

•aladdin - MASTERPIECE i’d def wanna watch this again

•beauty & the beast - i love this movie def one of the better disney princess movies

•bambi - sooo boring but it’s cute & i get why kids like it, and no i didn’t cry when bambi’s mom died bc i don’t give a fuck about a cartoon deer with 0 personality. also thumper carried the whole movie

•working on pocahontas now this movie is boring af so far and it makes 0 sense how the native americans speak english LOL

[queen-mabs-revenge]

hold up tho -- i was too busy being mad about everything else, but as a certified Cat Stevens Enjoyer (inherited dad music taste ppl rise up) now that i'm stopping to think about it even using 'father and son' in the final context is itself an empty symbol???? it's like they took the name of the song and the lyrics 'i have to go away' and were like oh yeah nice 1!

but like the song? is about? intergenerational conflict??? specifically the conflict btw a father advocating for a conservative, settled, traditional and pleasant life and a headstrong son resenting that repressive upbringing and making the decision to break away towards his passions? it's not meant to be one person singing throughout the whole thing, it's a really compassionate and heartbreaking dialogue between the idea of settling for the well-trodden road, and the need to leave it behind: the son not convinced by the comforts of the expected, and the father in some ways advocating settling for the traditional because he just doesn't want his son to leave him.

like in that context, it's the avatar of traditional singing 'find a girl, settle down - if you want you can marry. look at me i am old but i'm happy' over ted's car pulling up to michelle's house.

it's the avatar of the need to break from the repression of that life who frankly wails out (mr stevens i owe you my life) 'all the times that i've cried keeping all the things i felt inside, it's hard - but it's harder to ignore it. if they were right, i'd agree -- but it's them they know not me. there's a way and i know i have to go away'

like???????????????

using that song there is a whole ass choice but it's uhhhhhh at the very least a deeply complicated one, which doesn't really seem to click with this supposedly uncomplicated and 'unambiguously happy ending' they were apparently going for:. again like i said, feels like they just were like 'oh yeah father and son. people cry to this song right? bingo ringo!'

again, like with barbecue sauce and the pinball machine, it's borrowing those emotions from symbols instead of actually building them up in the story, and whoooo baby this song is just another case of those symbols not really matching up with the empty narrative they're being asked to prop up.

(anyway fun fact: the song was originally written for a proposed musical about the russian revolution and the son is actually singing about wanting to join the bolsheviks ✊🚩)

[ndostairlyrium]

Funeral girl AU in which Lav is the social media manager of a funeral home, posting silly memes about death on Facebook, mass producing coffin/gravestone-shaped chocolate for every festivity, and is just very annoying online with death related puns

Somewhere in Cullen's apartment there's an old school poster of Nevarra's necropolis that says "It's never too late to fall in love. Or to fall in general." There's a "thinking of you" scribble behind it, because it was originally a gift for Cassandra that she recycled due to obvious reasons. So now it's there, along with a big collection of tombstone keychans and valentine's inspired chocolates with "see ya (on the other side)" written on them in old english font

[megamindsupremacy]

Explain Yourselves AU:

Spent all of class coming up with this instead of taking notes. Enjoy

Edit: Part 2 in the notes!

(Transcribed under the cut)

gravity falls human bill AU where bill comes back as a human except instead of dropping in at the mystery shack, he appears outside of mabel and dipper’s house in piedmont

dipper and mabel have So Much explaining to do

their parents want to call the cops but mabel and dipper are like NO. DONT.

we canNOT let anyone know he’s here and alive. actually we might have to kill him.

parents, hearing their thirteen year olds casually discuss murder: WHAT

theyre like “we have to call the grunkles” and the parents are ?? plural? grunkleS?

then they have to back up nd explain ford

and all of that

this whole time bill is tied to a kitchen chair all gagged and blindfolded and yelling in annoyance

mabel and dipper are ignoring him and the parents are Very Much Not Ignoring Him

they call the grunkles and explain the situation and the parents hear a twin WHAT followed by a lot of yelling and swearing and crashing and then stan says “okay we’ll be there by tomorrow love you kids STAY SAFE BYE”

dipper: wait. if they’re getting here tomorrow then… what do we do with Bill in the meantime?

mabel, behind him holding a frying pan: i have an idea

parents: NO

they ungag him and it’s like. dipper and mabel armed with grappling hook + baseball bat plus their parents standing behind them trying to figure out if a) their kids are having a mental break and b) if they just kidnapped some random dude

these concerns are quickly allayed when bill starts threatening to kill everyone really loudly and graphically

then suddenly dipper is like. wait. if you could kill us by ripping our skin off our bones limb by limb…. why haven’t you don’t that already

bill:

Dipper:

bill:

dipper: ARE YOU POWERLESS

bill: nO-

mabel gets him with the frying pan

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

David Tennant's first unboxing video! :D (compiled from Georgia's stories on insta :) ❤)

Georgia: Okay. Hi, David. Right. Sit there.

David: Oh God. Am I filming... am I on camera?

Georgia: You're on camera, yeah.

David: To who?

Georgia: Uh, don't know yet. There you go. Right.

David: Are you going to give me a present?

Georgia: Yeah. This is an unboxing video. Go on, unbox it.

David: I need some scissors.

Georgia: Oh. How do people, people do this, though, without sort of tools?

David: What people?

Georgia: Well the people that do unboxing videos.

David: I don't know... I don't know anything about unboxing videos.

Geogia: Oh okay. All right. Do you want to get you... hold on.

David: Oh hang on.

Georgia: Oh look at that.

David: Nope, still need scissors.

Georgia: Okay, hold on. Okay.

David: Oh, yeah. Thank you. There's a nail file. It sort of works. [sees what's on side] Ohhhhh! This is not... this was sent to you, wasn't it?

Georgia: It was, yeah. Yeah, I'm so... I'm regifting. I'm regifting the gifted.

David: Well, this is a gift to both of us.

Georgia: Okay, I'm going to have to stop this video because it's about to get to the end of it. Can you just pause it there? Okay, you can pick up where you left off now.

David: Okay, can I start again?

Georgia: Yeah, go. And action.

David: This! It's a Tucci pan! Ohhhh. Dear David and Georgia... shall I try and do a Stanley impression?

Georgia: Yeah, go on.

David: Dear David and Georgia, here's a taste of a line of cookware I've designed. I hope you enjoy it and shamelessly promote it on your social media. With love, Stanley Tucci.

Georgia: Okay, okay. We've unwrapped. We've unboxed.

David: Isn't it pretty, though?

Georgia: Yeah. That is really nice. That is really nice. I just need to learn how to cook.

David: If we were really good at like videos and stuff...

Georgia: Oh, yeah, should we do, yeah

David: I'd do this, I'd do that. And then I'd do that there'll be something cooked in it. [the video changes and there is something cooked in it] Oooh! Thanks Stan! We love our pan! We love our pan, Stan! Stan pan. Stan the pan man.

Georgia: Okay stop.

(yes, it is a thing :D)

[astonmartinii]

bad blood (lando's version) | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem carlos ex!reader

band aid's don't fix bullet holes but his best friend might

based on this request:so reader is a famous model who’s also carlos ex (dated YEARS) and after the breakup he jumped straight to rebeca (we just need a tiny bit of bad blood). soo she and lando always got along, ever since carlos was in mclaren. the point is they get together and come hand in hand to a gp out of nowhere so drama and more bad blood surface - you can lead this to whatever you want hehe, thanks!!! - @lorenakaspersen

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

vogue

liked by hunterschafer, landonorris and 1,209,433 others

tagged: yourusername

vogue: y/n y/ln takes the cover for this month, where she talks re-discovering herself and giving yourself time to move on. copies in stores everywhere this friday.

view all comments

user1: i am once again asking how the fuck that man fumbled a bad bitch like her

user2: do not bring that man up here, he actually boils my blood

user3: honestly thank god they wear helmets in f1 cause if i saw his smug little face i may have smashed by tv

yourusername: thank you for having me hehehehhe xx

vogue: you dropped this queen 👑

user4: not vogue supporting her more than carlos ever did 🤨

user5: at least lando still supports her

user6: i'm glad the friends she made... i.e lando, charles, max, daniel, etc did also abandon her when carlos just dropped her

hunterschafer: you're the person i see in your dreams

yourusername: are you sure i'm not just your sleep paralysis demon?

hunterschafer: you're welcome to stalk mine dreams anytime

user7: how am i meant to care about f1 without y/n?

user8: she's the reason i learnt about the sport but at leats now i have an excuse to support someone else LOL

landonorris: tinkerbell looks a little bit different here

yourusername: i thought you were too old to watch peter pan?

landonorris: i just said that so you would think i'm a big macho man :(

yourusername: that is tragic

landonorris: can i interest you in a movie night some time soon then

yourusername: you might

user9: WHAT IS GOING ON HERE ^^

user10: idk but i am excited

f1wagupdates

liked by user11, user12 and 4,032 others

f1wagsupdates: carlos sainz debuts his new girlfriend rebecca donaldson at the bahrain grand prix, just one month after breaking up with model y/n y/ln. sainz and y/ln were together for three years, and sainz was seen with donaldson for the first time just a week after the breakup.

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user13: lol the wag accounts are done with his ass

f1wagsupdates: i am a y/n y/ln stan first and foremost

user14: anyone see the absolute stink eye charles and lando gave carlos LOL

user15: that's the thing when you're together for so long, the friends get attached as well

user16: i mean if certified homie hopper charles leclerc is calling your bluff then you know you've fucked up

user17: i will never understand how he jumped into a relationship with her after three years ?? LIKE IT WAS NOTHING

user18: things like that make me glad i'm single

user19: the thing that is bothering me that no one has said yet is the fact that he's been with her what a month? and he's already brought her to a race when he made y/n wait months to go to a race?

user20: screams insecurity - like "look i have moved on, i'm an alpha male who can get whoever i want"

user21: i never understood why he didn't let her come to races for months when they first got together, like not even his home race?

user22: i've always got the vibe that he thought that he was better than her and that she was using him?

user23: the way if he ever posted her (which was not very often) he never tagged her

user24: which is ironic because she's one of the most celebrated models in recent history, she has millions more followers than him and has a bigger network than him, so really if anyone was using anyone it was carlos using her

user25: anyone else pulling for her to get with lando?

user26: i always thought they got on more in the videos of them all together but honestly i just want her to be happy

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 2,018,552 others

yourusername: not much going on recently

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user27: SHE'S SO HOT

user28: i need her to give me one chance please

charles_leclerc: are we still down for the road trip to lourdes?

yourusername: needed now more than ever

charles_leclerc: trust and believe

user29: charles and y/n friendship you mean so much to me

user30: need her to sit in charles' side of the garage

user31: mother went to the university of servington where she got a degree is cuntology with a minor in slaying the haus down

danielricciardo: miss ma'am, leave some for the rest of us

yourusername: why thank you good sir

danielricciardo: where do i procure a veil as such?

yourusername: i may source one for you if you promise not to shave that moustache

heidiberger: preach

user32: i bet carlos just thought everyone would just forget about y/n when he dropped her, but he forgot that she's probably more liked on the grid than he is LOL

landonorris: why are you staring into my soul like that

yourusername: why are you lurking in my comment section

landonorris: i thought we were friends :(

yourusername: always and forever

user33: but he wants it to be more

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo

user33: I SAW THAT LANDO X Y/N COMING SOON?

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 803,774 others

landonorris: hostess with the most-ess?

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user34: is that a ... WOMAN?

user35: he's saying he's a host ... maybe he's hosting a friend who is a girl, it's not illegal

user36: i get your sentiment, but that photo is straight out of the soft launch girlfriend pinterest boards

user37: well now i'm picturing lando scrolling through pinterest and asking ??? to recreate the pics 😭

carlossainz55: missing my golf partner, round this weekend? ⛳️

landonorris: let me check my schedule buddy 👍

user38: okay... well someone else tell me that they can feel the vibe shift

user39: it's their first online interaction after the breakup, i think we can guess who's side lando is on

oscarpiastri: someone needs to debrief me asap

landonorris: someone forgot that he owns a phone

oscarpiastri: needed the added pressure of the public call out to make you actually do it

landonorris: fine, but you get three questions and that's it

user40: if the call out was public can't we get the public answers

yourusername: are you coming for my job?

landonorris: you saying i could model 😊

yourusername: i'm definitely saying you should let me give my agent your number

landonorris: you already have my number babe

yourusername: okay pretty boy

user41: i need this type of nepotism in my life

user42: i need the nepotism and the sexual tension cause PHEW it is through the roof

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, landonorris and 2,760,521 others

yourusername: enjoy the picture of me fucking up a pretzel

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user46: okay where are the detective freaks from f1twt?

user47: reporting for duty 🫡

user46: what car is that?

user47: it looks strikingly similar to a jolly, but i don't know if that's just my brain pushing me to make it lando. but there is a florist in monaco that wraps their flowers just like that as well ....

user46: thank you for your service

danielricciardo: this is very ballerina core 🩰

yourusername: has the old man been spending time on the internet?

danielricciardo: yes he has 😃

yourusername: omg proud

danielricciardo: no but seriously how did you do it? it looks sick

yourusername: very fiddly, needed an extra pair of hands

danielricciardo: an extra pair of hands [wiggles eyebrows]

yourusername: did you just comment your own stage directions?

danielricciardo: funny 😄

user48: okay i am glad we're not being deprived of the y/n and daniel friendship.

landonorris: i am enjoying this picture of you fucking up a pretzel

yourusername: i am a whore for carbs

landonorris: i am a whore for you

this comment was deleted

landonorris: i am also a whore for carbs (don't tell jon)

maxverstappen1: 📸📸📸 saw that mister !!

landonorris: you didn't see NOTHING

user49: we saw everything. i am so disappointed in lando, he's carlos' bestfriend and he's doing this?

liked by carlossainz55

user50: oh i know this man aint speaking

f1teaandgossip

liked by user51, user52 and 10,945 others

ftteaandgossip: carlos sainz was caught liking this tweet about his ex girlfriend y/n y/ln and his (former?) best friend lando norris. what do you think?

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user53: the audacity of men never fails to astound me

user54: you know what, i feel like a guilty man only acts this bold. so i'm saying it. i think there was overlap between his relationship with y/n and his relationship with rebecca

user55: you're right and you should say it

user56: carlos got with rebecca within a WEEK of the end of a three year relationship but is angry that she's finally moving on after months ?

user57: for real the first sight of lando and y/n was after at least two months

user58: i know people will say she's in the wrong because it is lando but honestly carlos has no leg to stand on with him parading rebecca around the paddock

user59: i really couldn't give a fuck if lando is his best buddy you act like a fool expect to get treated like a fool

user60: also the whole "whoring around the grid" is so dumb. you mean her FRIENDS? you know the friends she had to make when you would just leave her in the paddock or ignore her at parties ?

user61: babe really thought he was more loved in the paddock and expected everyone to go along with his messiness

user62: men don't talk about women this way challenge

user63: imagine talking about a girl you were with for THREE tears like this

user64: i wish lando and y/n all the best and i hope they're together for a long time, she deserves a good man after all of this

user65: i have faith 🤞

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,109,413 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: sloppy seconds you say? i never come second with him. pun intended x

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user66: SERVE

user67: user67 found dead in her home, cause of death: this post

landonorris: what can i say i'm a giver 🤷‍♂️

yourusername: i'll say 😮‍💨

oscarpiastri: ENOUGH

landonorris: i thought you were happy for us oscar :(

oscarpiastri: i am !! i even took the second picture. but i think you forget that i am staying with you in monaco :/

yourusername: whoops my bad

landonorris: i swear my hospitality is usually better

yourusername: i can attest to his hospitality

oscarpiastri: STOP PLEASE STOP

user68: poor oscar being traumatised by y/n and lando 😭

carlossainz55: real mature

yourusername: how about instead of liking shady tweets and commenting on my instagram posts, you come confront me like a real fucking person.

carlossainz55: you'd love that wouldn't you

yourusername: i really would because if i said everything you needed to hear i'd be banned from this app

carlossainz55: you really are the gold digging slut my parents warned me about

landonorris: you will absolutely not talk to her that way. if you do so again we'll have a very real problem

carlossainz55: you have no sense of loyalty lando

landonorris: the call is coming from inside the house

user69: the girls are FIGHTING

comments on this post have been limited.

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, yourusername and 1,866,398 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: nothing better than a podium at home and time with family

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user72: the sky camera shady as fuck for cutting straight to y/n in the mclaren garage when carlos crashed LOL

user73: her and lando's dad trying not to laugh had me creasing

yourusername: beyond proud of you baby

landonorris: your support means everything pretty girl

yourusername: and your family are the loveliest, tell mama i said thank you for having me (and my sandwiches for the plane)

landonorris: she say's thank you and come back soon (i also want you to come home asap)

user74: he already refers to his house at their home

user75: and y/n has been accepted by the family - the sainzs could take notes

oscarpiastri: oscar piastri erasure

yourusername: sorry osc, you're our favourite pookie on the grid

landonorris: also mama made you sandwiches too

oscarpiastri: i know they were very yummy 😋

danielricciardo: HOLD ON, oscar is your favourite pookie, where am i ???

maxverstappen1: i think you'll find i am their favourite full stop

charles_leclerc: nuh uh it's clearly me

yourusername: i'll just say lando is my favourite

landonorris: and i'll say y/n is my favourite

yourusername: and that's that

danielricciardo: boooooooo.

maxverstappen1: cop out :(

charles_leclerc: 🍅🍅🍅

user76: i am so confused right now

yourusername

liked by bellahadid, landonorris and 3,109,766 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: you are in love, true love.

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user77: omg the letters? i swear there were letters in her first post after carlos took rebecca to the first race of the season

user78: wait so do you think they were from lando the whole time?

yourusername: yes they are from lando ! after the carlos stuff had somewhat died down he had them all delivered to me and it definitely swayed me for a first date

user79: but i thought some of those letters looked pretty old

landonorris: i won't deny that i liked y/n for a long time but i obviously couldn't express that so i put them in letters. an idiot was an idiot and i'll never not take my chance

user80: okay that makes this whole thing so much cuter

user81: y/n is the definition of never letting your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

landonorris: you're my best friend and i love you so much

yourusername: i'd go through all this mess and all this heartbreak again if it meant i still end up with you

landonorris: but i'm by your side forever now you can't get rid of me

yourusername: i wouldn't dream of it

user82: lord i have seen it all, please bless me with a relationship like this

danielricciardo: god you people are ridiculously cute

oscarpiastri: just think yourself lucky that you no longer share a garage with them

landonorris: we're not THAT bad

oscarpiastri: i have working ears

yourusername: sorry not sorry osc x

fin.

note: hope you all enjoyed. i am dying trying to do 75 soft but i also signed up for burlesque class !!

[mallleus]

I totally see Stan with a Hispanic wife/husband/spouse. It just fits ya know?

Constantly has red lipstick somewhere on him

He brings home a pumpkin for Halloween one day and spouse turns it into a soup

“ it’s so hot, doll face, what’s on the menu?” “ Caldo de Pollo” dies a little inside, Soos appreciates the homemade food

He thought he’d be funny when he swapped their plate with his unaware they gave him a mild serving of chorizos and he had to chug a gallon of milk because they went scorched earth on their with hot sauce

Likes the homemade fruit popsicles

Uses mythology/scary stories from their country as inspiration for attractions in mystery shack “ and here we have the illusive La YA-rona” ( he tries his best but he can’t pronounce most words)

He was in a Colombian prison he speaks Spanish to an extent but learns more living with his partner

Dipper and Mabel are not immune to eating caldo de pollo on 172738949272 Fahrenheit degree weather btw

You are their Tia/Tio (y/n)

The oven is extra storage to you and he doesn’t understand why you need all those pots and pans

He got sick once and you gave him ginger ale, Vic’s vapor rub, Tylenol, the tiger blanket, and sent him to bed. (Told him the next day he got sick cuz he went to bed with his hair wet)

When mad at him you scold him in FAST PACE NATIVE SPANISH and he’s like that’s hot but also slightly intimidated because it sounds so mean

Wendy asks to learn the cuss words

You did the egg thing on Stan and it immediately turned black and there was silence for a good 5 minutes while you both stared at just how black the yolk was

Family cookout! autism be damned, Ford can work the grill

Watching tele novelas with subtitles for Stan, despite not understanding what’s being said he still cries

If you HC as reader being with Stan BEFORE the portal incident then, reader definitely calls Ford Cabron in passing (Stan’s ride or die fr) (Fords got like 12 phds, he’s gotta know a couple languages, he knows what you’re saying just not why)

If you HC being with Stan AFTER then they’re like ok whatever but I am distrustful of you (also probably married to StanFORD so you’re gonna have to divorce him to marry StanLEY. Congrats on that)

Calling Stan, mi Amor

Calling Dipper pequeño and Mabel Chiquita

I wrote this for me but if you want more let me know

Part 2 Part 3

[fulokis]

….

[greisekinderschar]

regarding book!dandelion’s much discussed misogyny one thing i find insanely amusing is how the gamer bro fanbase perceives it.

because to me, it’s like, supposed to be one of his weaknesses. it’s one of the ways in which he is unhinged that continuously gets him in trouble. yeah, there’s a joke here and there. but like. dudu thinks he can get away in dandelion’s form? nah man, the angry woman with the frying pan knocks you out, worst decision you made that day. he’s afraid he’ll get murdered if they go to toussaint. he survives the quest to end up on a scaffold because he couldn’t stop fucking around.

yet, when you see the dude bro “book stans’” reaction to the queer netflix reveal there are very personal grievances when they say “you made the womanizer gay!!!”. we know he’s not gay. he’s bi. he fucks more than twice the amount. but the fact that “the womanizer” would as much as look at a man somehow hurts these people in their masculinity, which reveals they think this part of him to be the cool, masculine part.

and it’s really funny to me, because i have this idea of sapkowski using bard characters (he does it in the hussite trilogy as well) to have some, dare i say it, subversive masculinities. because dandelion is very un-masculine in the context of the story. not only does he challenge the temerian knights and others by directly insulting their idea of masculinity and often ridicules the hierarchic structures he himself benefits from despite having fled the connected responsibilities. he’s not a fighter, he’s a poet, he’s not ‘hot’, he is pretty. he’s a coward, he is vain, he is bitchy, he is emotionally intelligent. he laments the gruesomeness of war that is nothing like the heroic masculine stories told about it. he is kind of the mum of the hansa. in short, he is very ‘feminine’, except for his womanizing and his misogynist moments (and the drinking). the parts of him that are, as i said, the most pathetic of his character. and yet, readers who are caught up in the structures of hegemonic masculinities perceive it as a way to consolidate his place in the hierarchy. in a way, his assholery is his redeeming quality in the masculine order. or at least that is what i believe, because why else would they have such an extreme reaction. if dandelion loses his one hegemonic masculine trait of putting himself above women by also sleeping with men, then he is not a man.

[i am aware the concept of masculinities has fluctuated massively in history, which is the point of hegemonic masculinities, and that medieval courtly masculinities had their own ‘feminized’ moments, with monks complaining about the knightly fashion making them look like vain women, but this is a fantasy saga that the reader perceives from contemporary standards, and the masculinities presented are very warrior-centered]

plus, i imagine it complicates his friendship with geralt. because they are bro bros, going to the BROthel together, sharing beds, kissing each other on the cheek for goodbye. if one of these bros is interested in dick, it makes emotional intimacy among men ~weird~. it makes the dude bros go “a bro cant have anything”. but bro, bro, you could have everything. you could even have a bite of dandelion.

[kenlvry]

LISTEN TO ME RN HEAT ME TF OUT STANS GANG + CRAIG DOIGN THE LIPSTICK TREND FROM TICTOK WITH READER

the lipstick trend with stan and craigs team

an, I AM LISTENLING ANON DONT WORRY. no idea what you mean by heat out though 🤨 , 17-18 and gn reader but use of her in tolkiens

kenny

he was the one who suggested it, it came across his fyp one day and he sent it to you "lets do this come over rn." "you asked, why dont you come to my house? 🤨" "why don't i cum in your mom" "HUH 😧" "im here."

you both definitely argue on what lipstick you should wear "okay but i don't even use pink lipstick" "well you should" "its light colour its not gonna appear" "well fuck 😒"

the process of kissing his face is wild, he would suggest to do his lips as the first place "KENNY HOW ARE WE GONNA DO THIS TREND IF YOU KEEP TRYING TO MAKE OUT WITH ME" "ITS NOT MY FAULT"

after like2 hours you finally get the lipstick on his face. now the tiktok was even harder he wouldn't stop laughing. you'd give up and he apologises while laughing

thank god you guys were able to finish it under 1 hour it turned out really good, at the end of the video he kissed you and you wanted to cut that part but he said keep it for like and its true the comments were all about the kiss on the last clip

kyle

okay he too wanted to ask you first but he was kinda shy and waited for you to ask and you did!! woohoo for kyle

"kyle wanna do this" "OKAY" he insists on picking your lipstick and picks the ugliest colour like what 😐

to him there was no such thing as an ugly colour buy it didn't suit your face so no way.

the process of it was calm, he at first wanted to put on the lipstick for you but you looked like a clown has mans never put on lipstick??

he watches you as you kiss him and reapply lipstick and then kiss him again, he feels like a princess fr 🤭🤭

he hasn't seen his face yet so when you record and he saw his face he laughs out loud, "LMAO WHY DO I LIKE THAT??" "WDYM"

you would tell him to take off his hat which he refuses but you looked too cute, when it posted cartman was first to comment and you can already tell what he commented "ew gay" your followers defended you two though 🤭

stan

stan blushes internally when you ask him. "sure im down" DEEP DOWN HE WANTS KIDNAP YOY AND KEEP YOU TO HIMSELF

"what lipstick do you think matches me best, pink or red?" "id say my tip colour" "WHAT 😧"

he has to hold in the very urge to puke every time you kiss him because like you look so cute omg.

he looks in the mirror and is js like "damn, i did it". HE LOVES IT SOOOO MUCH YOU CAN TELL HE'S BLUSHING ONGG ‼️

he even directs you like "do here next, okay now here" its so cute 🤭🤭

when you record and the camera pans to him, he smiles and covers his face blushing bc he can't contain it. it was such a cute video and got iver 2 mil likes. cartman definitely commented "i bet you had to change your clothes 10 times"

cartman

"cartman lets do this" "what." "wdym? cmon its cute" "y/n no offense but that is the most gayest shit i've ever seen" " NO ITS NOT UTS CUTE" "my reputation is at stake if i do that be so for real" "okay I'm asking kyle then" "lets do it."

he actually been wanting to ask you for weeks now but doesn't know how so winwin. you take your absolute time picking your lipstick and he couldn't be more done with "hurry up this doesn't even effect anything" "shut up cartman if i use the right one people will ask what lipstick it is and i get views"

picking a lipstick was already a big deal just imagine the process "ew gay not on my lips" "cartman 😐" tbh he wish he could just make out with you rn but yk how mans is

now recording is even more a hassle "JUST SMILE IS IT SO HARD TO CRACK A SMILE" "NOT WHILE IM LOOKING LIKE THIS" the most he does is wipes your lipstick off and then he just gives a 🙄 look until the end of the video

the comments are just him getting teased at clydes commenting "NAHHH CAN'T BELIEVE HE AGREED TO THIS" kyles is "i can tell that this took a long time" and then wendys is "is that cartman or a clone of him". cartman is pissed af at the comment, he told you his reputation is at stake 😒.

he actually has it saved downloaded and also is his live wallpaper sooo.

butters

butters is the one who asked you this " um y/n can we do this? 😣" while twiddling his fingers, "OKAY"

he's all giddy and smily during the process, after every kiss his blushes intensifies and by the end of it he is just.. 🔴

even though it is the most simplest video ever he has to have a tutorial, he is asking questions for everything man, how do i wipe the lipstick, what do i do, do i smile when its on me , do i laugh??

you tell him what he thinks he should he and he starts kissing you bc rn the sexual tension between you two is intense (to him atleast, he thinks thinks hand holding is already intense)

everyone comments on how cute he is and yk how tiktok is so people comment "does he whimper" "submissive who?" and hes likw WHATTTTT 🧍

clyde

when you suggested this he nodded so hard his head probably was about to fall off. "clyde you wanna do this" "DO I???" ..... "well.. do you?" "i mean yeah it's like a way of- yes i wanna do it"

he loves any lipstick you wear so he lets you pick. after every kiss he looks in the mirror and kicks his feet giggling and you just stand there 🤨

he also tries to make it a makeout session like kenny, when you kissed on his lips he holds your neck and literally makes out with like cnon we have 9 more

when you first hit record and yk how the guy has to wipe your lipstick off, nah he grabbed you by the chin and slams his lips with yours "WHY DIS YOU DO THAT??" "its called content,you wouldn't know with your 9 likes and 70 views"

well you kept the clip and everyone in the comments were talking about it "need a boyfriend like you y/n" "why can't my boyfriend be like this" clyde is obviously gloating bc he had the idea.

tolkien

most romantic man you know, is the first to ask you. "y/n can we do this?" "OKAY BOO 😝"

"hmm which lipstick do you think babe?" "i think every lipstick makes you pretty, it doesn't matter if it doesn't suit you because in my eyes you look beautiful in anything ☺️" "what if i wore kim kardashians 2013 met gala dress" "might have to rethink what i said"

he smiles while you kiss him here and there, every once a while he kisses you back, it was such a cute moment for you two😝🤞🤞

when recording he looks at you while smiling during the whole video and it blew up fast because of that

"the way he looks at her" "wishing he was like this" "you got the bag that man is inlove", it blew in seconds fr

craig

"craig lets do-" "okay" "i didnt even ask you yet" "I'll do anything if its with you" "what if i asked you to have a threesome" ".....if its makes you happy idk.."

idk about you but i think he acts like he doesn't care but inside he is so happy you asked he's been wanting to ask you this but doesn't know how to start up the convo

he doesn't care what lipstick or where you kiss him, its just the way you press your lips on him and look at it then quickly reapply to do it again because it wasn't pigmented enough.

when recorded, he doesn't just wipe he makes you turn to face him by grabbing your chin, and he doesn't let go and just looks at you with those yk siren eyes.

people are simping over him ong "damn girlie share for us" "you mean OUR boyfriend" "tryna find someone as hot as him" and you are pissed fr he laughs at you cursing out the people, like bae dw my eyes only fo you 😝🤞

tweek

"tweek, wanna do this?" "but what if I can't remove the lipstick stain" "tweek what dw i have makeup remover" "WHAT IF THAT DOESN'T WORK 🤯🤯" "TWEEK"

okay so the lipstick may turn out ugly bc of how shaky he is but ITS OKAY BC ITS TWEEK DUH, "a-are you sure you dont want to redo this?" "tweek its fine"

he insists on redoing it the 2nd try turns our worse because he's even more twitchy because of how close you are☺️☺️☺️

his face is just red because he keeps wiping it off with his hands so you can redo it and its obvious too

recording it was so funny because you can't stop laughing at the smudge lipsticks

when posted the comments were so cute but... uh questionable some were "the way the smudges are so obvious 😭😭❤️" or "wishing my future relationship will be like this 🤭" and some were just "tip colour when?? 😜"

[fangirlingpuggle]

Gaslight Billford parents AU.

Dipper: Hey, Mable remember when that Blandin guy swore to make sure our parents never met?

Mable: Wait, you don't mean--

Together: What if he DID?

Dipper It all makes sense! That's why our California parents don't remember us! They're not even together anymore.

Mable: But we still exist because-!

Dipper: He didn't know about Bill!

Stan: *drops a pan of scrambled meat on the table* Kids, that's ridiculous. I can't believe gullibility is contagious. Now eat your meat.

HA!

Yes this is genius everyone is the pepe silvia meme other than Stan.

[conarcoin]

ok twitter people coming over bc of elon fucking everything up with the tweet view limit ive said this a million times before but i will again, some basics to know about mcytblr:

we don’t do stan war shit it’s stupid

we don’t do callout posts unless they’ve actually done something that puts others at harm

minecraft isn’t real

leave ccs alone, there are several on tumblr, do not bug them. they’re chill with us because we are chill with them

nobody give a fuck about shipping cubitos sorry.

unless you can provide a clip or other source of a creator explicitly saying “don’t do this” no one’s taking your boundary disk horse seriously

fighting to defend grown adults is stupid

nobody cares about schlatt fans, fundy fans, etc. nobody give a fuck. the only cc people are really hostile to is dream

seriously minecraft is fake and not real

bi/pan lesbian discourse sucks and you guys should grow up

idk did i miss anything if i did add it ig

[gay-dorito-dust]

Bro...reader is verbally abuse by stan for like 30 years and ford their last hope just dismissed them like that....what if reader have revenge

They died after weirdmageddon BUT!! but they become a ghost or a vengeful spirit that can't leave Stan or Ford alone because they both are the source of their suffering

Reader is just a chill and kind ghost when it comes to the twins, Wendy, Soos and others but they are a MENACE when it comes to Ford and Stan and just verbally and emotionally torments them and they can't get rid of them not even when they want to

I want reader to have revenge I want my favorite character suffering from their horrible choices cause two can play that game

.ah yes, someone who also knows that forgiveness isn’t easily given either

Also I’d like to think ghost!reader only reveals themself to Dipper, Mabel, Soos and Wendy but refused to show themselves when Ford or Stan ask.

Their reaction to Stan and Ford might be quite…violent such as throwing things, causing things to break especially if they are holding it and or even gaining the ability to screech loudly to the point the windows break, forcing Stan to fork out even more money to get them repaired.

Dipper and Mabel saw you as a ghost that didn’t get the rest required to pass on. That and they felt bad that you died protecting them.

Stan and Ford saw you as a ghost of their failure to reconcile sooner, you died protecting Dipper and Mabel during Weridmagedon, but before you passed on you said ‘I’ll always be with them, never you.’ And soon after, dipper and Mabel told them that they saw your ghost wandering the halls of the mystery shack with a blue glow to your translucent form.

However with Stan and Ford, you were barely seen. but they could feel your pain, your hurt and betrayal so thickly it physically chokes before having to react quickly before getting hit by a flying worktable heading towards them, as it then smashed to bits against the wall.

‘They’re pissed.’ Stan states.

‘That’s more than warranted. We did accuse them without letting them explain themselves.’ Ford replied as Bills words haunted him still, so much for a man of silence and logic, maybe he was a heartless monster for not hearing you out.

Stan looks at his twin with sympathy but that didn’t last long as a ear piercing wail came next, from you they assumed, as it reached a pitch that made anything made of glass shatter or splinter. It was obvious you weren’t happy that they were still here and alive while you weren’t and you were taking it out on them; which they knew was more then deserved but they knew they couldn’t continue living like this for much longer.

They tried everything to get rid of your spirit but everything failed, they even brought a medium to see what you want, and all they said to Stan and Ford while tears streamed down their face was; ‘they want you both to suffer like you’ve made them suffer for thirty years. And when and if either of you enter the afterlife, they hope that your souls would be trapped within the shack for all of entirety, just so they can torment you some more until the shack burns down to nothing but cinders.’

Welp, that didn’t work.

You watched over dipper and Mabel as they slept and ventured out into the forest, all the while destroying the shack however you could whenever Stan or Ford entered the room; even the lab was completely destroyed with important research going missing and or torn to shreds. You didn’t want anyone to be happy but Dipper and Mabel and you’d even keep them up at night by throwing the pots and pans against walls and breaking countertops with your newfound strength.

It was fun for you, but torture for them and this continued for a long, long time.

[rainbowpopeworld]

Things I love about this video:

Georgia didn’t think to get something to open the box before starting (ADHD FTW)

When she did, it’s her keys and a nail file that is used (which is what I use most of the time)

David doesn’t know what unboxing is (not surprising given how ~offline~ he tries to be)

When I was showing this video to my spouse, he stopped me when the word unboxing was first used and said “do they [british people?] have a different word for opening a package?” And I said “no, it’s a Thing. Like people on youtube make a living doing unboxing videos.” And he’s like “can we do that?” And then as I tried to say multiple times that there’s more to it than that he just kept talking about how many boxes of stuff we have and how he can seal them back up afterwards 😂😂😂

So, my spouse doesn’t know what unboxing is either (he’s slightly more online than David, but not by much)

David is so excited about this pan

He does a pretty good Stanley Tucci impression

So. Excited.

Stan the Pan Man

The cartoon immediately after in the IG stories

Questions I have:

Why would the pan be sent to Georgia? Didn’t David do a show with Tucci? What am I missing?

SO EXCITED!