#gravity falls x reader

[piss-pumpkin]

🍳Blasphemy and Boiled Eggs🪽

(Older)dipper pines x reader, chapter 16 of Douce amere, ~3.1k words Masterlist Prev

Dipper Pines hates Bill. Dipper Pines loves Y/n. Those were two fundamental truths of his universe, two pillars of his psyche that so much of his mind was formed around. All the time he spent scared and angry because of what Bill had done, all the time he spent happy and pining because of you, it was the clearest line to draw for him, separating those ideas. But today, that line was blurry. 

You fell backwards, stumbling just slightly before hitting the ground, and Dipper didn’t have the strength to stand up and catch you. He barely had the strength to breathe. He laid on his back, heaving breath after breath as his eyes darted from your body, to the statue. Bill. From back when it happened. How did they even manage to do this. He could almost laugh. If anyone could fuck up this bad, it was you. He would probably laugh if he wasn’t in shock. 

The journal was left open on the ground beside you. He hadn’t even realized he let go. Fuck. He threw his head back onto the grass, and dug his palms into his eyes until his vision was blurry when he opened them. Holy shit. Holy fuck. Somehow, all at one, a million thoughts were running through his head, but not a single one was coherent. Vague panic, wanting to scream, heart pounding, caught in a vice. Fuck. Later. He had to deal with that later. 

Dipper sat up. Once more he looked at you, then at Bill. One and the same, now. He sighed, standing up on shaky legs, leaning on the top hat of the statue to get his balance. Better to move fast until you come too. 

He looked down at your body with a face contorted with emotions he never thought he’d feel again. He knelt, he hesitated, and then he heaved you up, with shaking arms carrying you like a princess. Back to the shack. Where bill can’t get in. Thank God for the unicorn hair. 

He trudged through the forest, often needing to break to set you down and rest. And the bruise on his wrist wasn’t helping much. On one of his breaks, he tiredly banged his head against a tree, any pain like that being a better alternative to… whatever he was feeling. His heart was beating like a hummingbird, but he had to put it all aside to get you to the shack, clutching you with white knuckles. 

How’d you even get in this situation? Did he even want to know? Your eyes were shut, he couldn’t see your pupils, and a shiver ran down his spine when he thought of the yellowish haze on your eyes. Yellow eyes. It’s summer, it shouldn’t be so cold.

How could you do this? How did this never come up? How could you have… he shook his head. As much as he knew Bill tricked people… you? Of all people. Had he not told you enough? Not what he was, what he looked like? He should’ve have. He should have. He could have. He had plenty the opportunity. To tell you what you needed, what could have saved you. Everyone. Fuck.

He reached the edge of the woods, and more than anything worried for you. Concussions weren’t good, and there was a solid chance he gave you one. It wasn’t good for you to be out cold like this. 

He tripped out of the forest, dropping you for a moment as he fell to his knees. Shit. He cradled your head as you both fell. Fuck. Keep it together. Just a little bit more. Don’t move the head. 

He got you to the shack, and stared at the door for a good minute. Then down at your face, still out like a light. He winced, and looked back in front of him. When he opened the door, he’d have to explain. He’d have to tell Ford everything, probably. He might know what to do. When Dipper opened the door, he’d have to be ready, get serious, and know what to. Deal with this… situation. He almost felt dizzy, his head spinning and getting light. But he couldn’t put you down to steady himself. Dipper sighed, his head halfway throbbing as he focused on breathing. Okay. He carefully maneuvered his carry of you, and opened the door.

Wendy and Soos said hello. Wendy was behind the till, feet up on the counter, and Soos was on the other side, dressed in his suit. They said hello, then then promptly realized that there was something wrong, with the both of you.

Dipper quickly handed you to Soos, and stumbled, leaning on a wall as the only thing keeping him up. The the trek through the woods felt like a hike across the world now. His legs were buckling, and Wendy offered her support. He leaned on her. They both had questions, most of which he didn’t want to answer, several of which he tuned out, his ears ringing and mind buzzing. Most asks though, they all had one answer in common. “Bill,” he sputtered. And Soos and Wendy went silent.

”But he’s gone,” Wendy said matter of factly. “Dipper, Ford erased him out of Stand mind.”

Dipper just shook his head, sweating, neatly all his weight resting on her. 

“Dude,” Soos managed, you still passed out in his arms. “Did he hurt them?”

Dipper shook his head again, and finally buckled under the weight, face contorting. “He’s in there,” he said shakily, nearly taking down Wendy with his poor balance as he pointed to you. “I had to…” he sputtered.

They looked at each other, then at the marks on Dippers wrist. Wendy sucked a breath in through barred teeth, “You should put ice on that,” she said, trying to prop him up. 

Her attempt wasn’t working, and Dipper was slowly sinking. Sighing, she decided to help him to the floor. Where there was nowhere left to fall. She shot Soos a look, a nod, and went to find one of the Stans.

Soos set you down and sat beside Dipper. He patted his back gently. “It’s okay, dude,” Soos sighed. “We’ll figure this out.”

Dipper grumbled, hiding his head in his hands. Y/n was still out. He must have hit them pretty hard with his journal. He wiped his eyes aggressively, seeing spots of greens and reds on his eyelids. “I don’t know how he’s back… or how I didn’t notice earlier,” he sputtered. 

Before Soos could say another word, both of the grunkles were bursting through the doorway. Mabel must have been out. Dipper could barely hear them. 

                                              …

When you woke up, it was with a throbbing headache. Before you could even open your eyes, you felt it, a dull ache accompanied by even duller pounding with every movement you made. It was cold, weirdly so for summer. You grumbled, shifting around on the… couch? The cushions you seemed to be resting on were soft, but worn, and you could feel the loose threads on your feet. 

You opened your eyes, and promptly froze. You were not alone. Ford always kept his basement rooms cold, made it easier to keep the turtle neck on in the summer. It was him that was pointing a gun at your head. Not just any gun, but one that looked held together by duct tape and a prayer, a makeshift invention thrown together on the fly. It showed in how Ford held it, not only by the handle but with a protective grip on the sides, as if that could stop it from falling apart. You swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. There was Ford and Stan. 

“Can you open your eyes all the way?” Ford asked cooly, the gun steady in his hands. 

You complied wordlessly, and slowly sat up. The moment he saw your pupils, the gun dropped, and he sighed in relief. He turned, and nodded to Stan, who walked tiredly to the elevator. Then you were alone. “Y/n, what exactly happened?” he asked, much kinder this time. 

You winced, and looked dejectedly at the floor. “I don’t know,” you sighed. 

“Can we start from the beginning?” He said, drawing your eyes back to him. He had a small and warm smile, doing his best surely. “When was the first time you met him… or, his statue, I guess?”

From the start. The very beginning. From when you saw the statue, to when you shook his hand, and when the nightmares started. Ford nodded along gravely, six fingers tapping against his cheek as he purses his lip or hummed with thought. Every last detail.

He stayed silent, pondering, even when you were finished, staring at the floor intently. You could practically see the cogs of his brain turning. You swallowed, ”So…?” 

“So,” he nodded, and sighed. “Are you okay?”

You wished he’d ask about Bill, or the situation, or a solution. Any of those were be easier to answer. “Well,” you started, scratching at your knuckles. Hmm. You sighed, and that seemed to be enough for Ford. He knew.

“I get it,” he sighed, crossing his arms, “We’ve all been there, Y/n, it’s alright.”

You winced, that was true too. At least you weren’t the only one. Or no, actually, it would be better if you were. Then at least you’d scare them less. “Is Dipper okay?”

Ford nodded, and a twitch of his cheek gave away that he was hiding something, “He’s fine.”

You waited, but Ford didn’t say anymore. Sighing, you clenched a fist, then released. Then pressed all your fingers to your palm, and released, cherishing the feeling of being in control over every little movement. Not like before. “Is he around?”

Ford paused, “He’s upstairs, but…” 

But. But but but. Ugh. You winced, looking up at him, hoping desperately that whatever he said next wouldn’t hurt. 

“But…” he continued. Incredibly slowly, brow furrowed like he was thinking carefully about every word. “I’m sure you know, his thought on him, that is,” he said. “He got you here okay, but he’s…” another pause. The basement made the silence worse, occasionally broken by Fords humming as he thought. “He’s processing, right now,” Ford finally managed. 

“So,” you said, a little quieter than you meant. You cleared your throat, trying to get your voice back. “So, should I… go?”

Ford sucked a breath in through his teeth, grimacing. “About that,” he started. “You can’t. The shack is the only place you’re safe from Bill, it’s the reason why you didn’t get nightmares when you slept here,” he said. He sighed, pushing up his glasses, “He can’t get in your head while you’re here, so you have to stay until we figure or a plan.”

“Ah,” you said, dejectedly nodding your head. So you just shouldn’t have left. That was your mistake. One of several. 

Ford hummed back. No words. None needed, maybe. A moment of silence, maybe grief. “We’ll come up with a solution, Y/n.”

Another headache was brewing. Different than before, different than when it was him. All you this time, that was at least comforting. It was your brain that hurt, that seemed to fight you. It was a sharper pain, rather than a dull throb. Right in the front behind your eyes. You nodded, staring at the floor. Fuck. 

                                             …

Yesterday, the kitchen in the Mystery shack felt like yours. Not like you owned it, but that you had as much a right to use it as any of the shacks regular residents. Because it was your home, too, for the most part. You lived here enough. 

But it was off, today. Something about it was different. The lights still shined warmly, the same way they always did and always would thanks to Fords invented lightbulbs. Everything was in the same place, the spoons, pots, pans and such. Water still boiled the same. Same speed, same slight burning smell as the burners warmed up. It was all familiar, but alien as you moved through it, grabbing supplies, food. There wasn’t much good in the fridge, it must be Stans shopping day. 

Your eyes landed on a carton of eggs, and that somehow seemed like the best option. A soft boiled egg wasn’t amazing on its own, but today you were feeling spicy. Or rather, particularly bland. It dawned on you, reaching for the egg, that it wasn’t the kitchen that was alien, but you. You were what changed. What was different. The alien, if you will. You gently dropped the egg in the water. 

You stared into the pot. The pot stared at you. The water was bubbling, and the egg swirled inside. It bobbed and bounced over the ceramic, but didn’t break. Lucky you. You held your hand over the pot, and felt the steam, which was condensing on the cupboards above. A sigh escaped your lips as you felt the heat on your hand. 

Thumps. There was someone in the doorway. You froze, leaning over the stove. You shouldn’t look. It could be anyone, but you knew footsteps well enough, and they seemed to stop in the doorway when they saw you. You had a good enough guess. But you had to look anyway. See him. Just to check, maybe.

Dipper was as frozen as you were, with a hand clutching the door frame. His eyes were wide, knuckles white. He looked terrified. 

“Dip?”

”Hi,” he said curtly, jerking his head to look at the floor. Anywhere but you. 

You lifted a hand, halfway towards him, and then retracted it, pulling close to your chest. He flinched. Maybe reaching out wasn’t what he needed. “Hey, I-“ you started, but trailed off. And then he left, without a word. 

You sighed, and turned around to hop up and sit on the counter. You leaned your head against the damp cupboard, and glanced down to watch the egg. The stovetop sizzled as a drip of water fell on the burner. 

Your mouth fell open, staring at the boiling pot. The water wasn’t high enough to spill. The condensation wasn’t heavy enough to drip. Your hand gently tapped at your face. Wet. You blinked, and a tear fell. Oh. You dabbed your cheeks with your sleeve, trying not to get red and puffy as more tears fell. Oh. 

They shouldn’t see you like that. They were already kind enough to let you stay, despite everything. Because they have to. You shook your head, and stared with blurry vision at your boiling egg. You sniffled, and more tears started to fall. Fuck. You tried to wipe your eyes as quietly as possible, wetting your sleeves and scrambling to find something to blow your nose on. 

Your eyes landed on a roll of paper towel by the sink, and you hopped from  the counter. Nose nearly dripping as a few stray tears turned to crying, you grabbed for it. Nose blowing wasn’t quiet. But you tried. And even worse, you wiped your eyes with the dry side of it. Wouldn’t want them to be able to tell you’ve been crying by looking at your clothes. You grabbed a few more paper towels for the road as you went back to your soft boiled egg. 

It has mostly settled into a place in the pot, no longer dancing around it. It still wiggled with the water, though. You sighed, leaning on the countertop next to it, and grabbed your phone from your pocket. This feels like too much time. Tapping the screen, you realize you never set a timer for your precious soft boiled egg. 

Soft boiled eggs were nice. If done right, the centre of it was gooey, warm, tasted alright. And it paired so well with noodle soup, or maybe stir fry. Not that you had that. But sometimes just the soft boiled egg was enough. 

Eyes wide and with haste, you grabbed the handle of the pot, desperately hoping you still had a soft boiled egg. Hot. It nearly hurt to hold. You quickly and carefully poured the boiling water into the sink, and flooded the pot with cold. Your thumb thumped on the handle as you waited only a moment for it to cool. 

The eggshell was hot, too. You gently cracked it on the rim, and blinked away tears as you began to peel it. Difficult with shaking hands. Falling tears plinked against the metal of the sink as you did. 

With the shell discarded safely in the pot, you eyes the egg. Nothing about the white gave away whether or not it was overdone. You squeezed it. A couple times. And with a sigh, and a leap of faith, took a bite off the top.

The first bite never reached the centre. It never does, unless you’re hungry enough to finish the egg with that. You looked again at the white, seeing the yellow shadow where you bit. Leap of faith. You bit again. 

You froze when your teeth hit the centre, and slowly, you released your jaw, leaving a bite mark in the egg. It wasn’t soft. Not even close. Your hands were already shaking, and you carefully dropped the egg back in the cold water pot. You sighed, and used your paper towel to wipe your eyes. Your lips were trembling now, too though. 

Hard boiled eggs didn’t taste as good. The texture was weird, it didn’t go well with the egg white, nor a good stir fry. Maybe a good soup, on a good day. But you didn’t have soup. And it wasn’t much of a good day.

You sighed, and choked back a sob. Why the fuck did it have to happen like this? You clenched your jaw, and face fell into your palm. It didn’t have too. Your legs were shaking, whole body really. I could have done anything else. You sucked a breath in through closed teeth, lips quivering. Fucking anything. You sank to the floor, back against the bottom cupboards, and head in hand. Anything. Fucking. Else. The thought.  just echoed through your head as you sobbed. Anything. 

But you overdid the egg. You overdid the egg. And the cold tiled floor was under you, and your feet slid out in front of you. And your head was in your hands. And you weren’t holding back your tears anymore. And you weren’t trying to spare your face anymore. You overdid the egg. And quietly sobbed on the floor of the kitchen, of a home that didn’t feel like yours anymore. 

Next

Fellas I don’t even like angst. Like reading or writing it. Like I don’t know why I did this or how I got here. Like the writing process has been so slow cuz of it 😭😭

Also fun fact I wrote the egg bit like September when one of my Guinea pigs died and I was sad.

I’ll pick the tone up again later trust me 😭

Taglist: @dead-esque @cipheress-to-k-pop

[mehitsjust3lla]

[sleeplessdreamer14]

stan: (takes your hand/gets down on one knee)

y/n: stanley, what the-

stan: (name), would you do me the honor of becoming my brother/sister-in-law?

y/n:

ford:

ford: did you really just propose to (name) for me?

stan: well lord knows you were takin’ your sweet time to do it!

[magicalbunbun]

"Deal"

And y/n

[bones4thecats]

Their S/O Is Related To Their Enemy

Type of Writing: Random Idea Name: Their S/O Is Related To Their Enemy Characters: Toffee of Septarsis, Bill Cipher, and Lord Hater Idea-Giver: Random Thoughts

A/N: Much like with my Vivziepop pieces, I will have the species of the reader underneath their header images. I had no ideas for HIM since I couldn't find a good connection for a reader and him in the relation to the girls context. I hope you do like this first creation of mine! Have great rests of your nights/days!

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Mewman! Reader ; Big Sibling of Moon Butterfly and Aunt of Star Butterfly

☄️ As the eldest child of Queen Comet Butterfly and Count Lazlo Marmalade of Lushreach, you were always held into high regards when it came to political affairs

☄️ While your parents mainly handled the more detailed affairs, you would watch over Moon as she aged. From looking over her when she was a toddler till when she grew old enough to organize herself into the many issues your kingdom faced

☄️ During those many years, you had held her hand throughout every single hardship that came her way. And you planned to hold her hand throughout this war that the Mewmans and Monsters faced

☄️ And even during these kind of dire situations, you always stayed strong to your family. But, when your mother and father decided to pass you up for your sister, saying she would fit better as the ruler, you snapped

☄️ You knew the only reason they chose her was because she was more like them; close minded on Monsters and Mewmans regaining trust in one another. While you were far more accepting and willing to work with the Monsters

☄️ Jumbling up all your stuff and jumped down from your room's window before sliding and sneaking outside with expect parkour practice, you landed by the woods and looked back at your sister's window, seeing the light turn off

" I am so sorry, Moon... but I cannot stay in such a corrupted land any longer... "

☄️ During your expedition to find some kind of Monster civilization, you had dodged many forced from your kingdom, each speaking of how your family needed you back home, much to your annoyance

☄️ It was during this travel that you came across an injured Septarsis, one that you learned the name of, Toffee. And, during your many years of living alongside one another, you shared your life stories, from your childhoods to your wishes, it was all out in the open to show your trust

☄️ Toffee wasn't very big on the royal family, viewing the abuse of power they held as illogical, and eventually viewing the magic they hold as overkill. But, for some weird reason, you didn't bother him

☄️ And he had to admit, watching the little offspring of his enemy Moon Butterfly look at you in shock as she tried fighting her blood made him smirk

" Uhm- Toffee? Why are you smiling at this? Isn't Y/N supposed to be just grabbing the wand and coming back here? " " Oh, you'll understand in a few seconds... "

☄️ Star was trying not to harm you, sending minor spells at you, trying to just knock you on your butt so she could just ask you why you had left and why you were siding with Ludo and the rest of his gang

☄️ Once she did, she was shocked to see that the markings on your cheeks, the ones that matched your mother's, but they were faded and covered with thin-lined x's

☄️ You then burst up and kicked the young girl away, bidding farewell as you pocked your cheek and stuck your tongue out mockingly before winking at where the camera laid for Toffee and the forces to see

" I-Is she...? " " I told you. You would find out soon... now! Y/N, I would like to congratulate you on retrieving such an important tool; Star's mistrust of her mother. Good job, my royal. "

☄️ Smirking at your husband, you pecked his cheek and looked at the boys as you handed Ludo a small portion of magic sealed from Star's wand, and just this amount would be good for now

☄️ Toffee then looked at your marks, which slightly glowed with magic... how troublesome could it be if that little brat got to your mind? He didn't want to even think of that...

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Human! Reader ; Older Cousin of Dipper and Mabel Pines (Early-30s)

👁️ Being only a baby when the incident occurred between your father, Stanford Pines, and your uncle, Stanley Pines, you had often questioned the point of why there were so many weird things happening in your small town

👁️ Gravity Falls always had small details that made no sense to you, and as you grew up being raised by your money-obsessed uncle, you had written these things down in a journal that you had numbered 4 with a hand-print that, by what your uncle said, was your father's

👁️ You always had these small visions growing up, from seeing some kind of weird gnomes around the woods to seeing a kind of large minotaurs (which were supposedly called 'MAN-otaurs for some reason?)

👁️ But none of those compared to the small triangle man that appeared in your dreams and would mess around with you from time to time as you grew older

👁️ And, when your little cousins, Dipper and Mabel Pines, had come by to spend the summer at the Mystery Shack with you and your uncle, these visions seemed to happen more often and get more and more vivid

👁️ This 'demon' has you labeled him, had been caught by you staring at your cousins as they slept for weeks, and because of the worry you felt for the two, you began to lose sleep, alarming your family and friends

👁️ Eventually, after being scolded by Stanley and having been forced by Mabel and Wendy to lay down for at least a couple hours, you had fallen into a deep rest as Mabel's pig, Waddles, laid beside you

👁️ You had awoken inside of a dark field, one that you had been in multiple times beforehand, and hearing the very light-sounding maniacal laughter of a triangle demon you called a 'friend', you turned around

👁️ A flaming yellow triangle appeared and allowed the 'one-eyed Dorito' as you called him to be summoned

👁️ He adjusted his bowtie and floated with his cane leaning against literal air as you groaned and motioned for him to come nearby, making him laugh and ask if you missed him

" Oh, I didn't miss you par say... I just missed doing THIS! "

👁️ Wrapping your arms around his frame you wrestled the three-sided demon into the grass and made him laugh at your actions, his arms and legs flaying about to try swatting you away without any use of his powers

👁️ Once you finally stopped wrestling the demon, or rather, stopped wrestling Bill, he had popped his hat of his head and began to ask you the questions you always said you had no comment on

" So, about the two flesh-bags your related too. " " You mean my cousins? Dipper and Mabel? " " Yeah! Pine Tree and Shooting Star! They've been getting far too close to my plans, and you know what happens to those who get too close. They go- "

👁️ Holding his palm up to the sky, he made a small figurine of an unknown man before lifting his opposite hand and smashing it, making a paint-like substance flay onto yours and his 'faces'

" SPLAT! And, I know how much you care about those life-forms. Now, since your father and uncle aren't in my reach anymore, I figured that you could talk to them about maybe taking a couple days off from monster-hunting, y'know, and allow me to work on this more~ " " Bill. We've talked about this once and we've talked about it a million times- " " Actually more like 7, but go on... " " A million times. Anyone with a somewhat functioning brain like Old Man McGucket's can notice how stubborn they- well, Dipper is on unraveling this town. It'd take a miracle to show him enough to get him to back away from his mission. " " Yeah, a miracle. Interesting point, human. "

👁️ Cocking an eyebrow and holding your hand out as if to grab something, Bill narrowed and widened his one eye largely as a small cat with silver hair and yellow highlights appeared in your hands, obviously with one eye that's colors were opposite (white <--> black)

👁️ Smiling and petting the demonic-looking feline, you looked back at Bill and held the cat as he made a ball of yarn to play with the animal, underneath his eye a small pink flush growing

👁️ You were by-far the most entertaining human he had ever met- even if you were related to that traitorous man you had to call your father

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Alien / Star-Nomad! Reader ; Wander's Older Sibling and Main Guardian

⚡ Your younger brother is a very energetic being, and if you were for certain, you'd call him the most energetic being in the whole Universe

⚡ You had spent most of your life watching over your brother as he and his friend, Sylvia, spread themselves around the many different worlds during their travels. With you being the one who had to get them out of many bad situations

⚡ But, a few years prior, you had given the two permission to travel on their own, meaning they could not afford to get into massive trouble since you wouldn't be there

⚡ They had been doing well as you traveled on your own, and during one of your more random leaps to another world, you had met a small eyeball with a tiny body who called himself 'Commander Peepers'

⚡ You had stared at the guy and cocked an eyebrow and heard a yell of Peeper's name, making you both look up in shock, though yours was hidden far better

" L-Lord Hater! To what do I owe the pleasure? " " You owe everything to this pleasure! Also, we're out of cheese dip. "

⚡ The cloaked man had looked up at you and lightly tilted his head before looking down at you and furrowing his eyebrows in both frustration and confusion

" Who is this, Peepers? " " I'm not sure myself, Sir. They had just appeared out of nowhere. " " You! Who are you?! " " I'm Y/N. Intergalactic Traveler. "

⚡ Lord Hater looked at you up and down, you looked like what the average Star-Nomad would appear, but you had a height advantage, maybe being a couple heads shorter than the Lord himself

⚡ You looked right back at him and scoffed lightly before asking him such a bold and broad question that not many would dare ask on that planet

" Why do you look like some kind of rock-emo with a deep voice? "

⚡ Commander Peepers looked at you in shock and back at Lord Hater, fear consuming his soul as he wondered one thing and one thing alone; How in the name of everything did you just ASK him that?!

⚡ Lord Hater began to chuckle and smirk at you, his skeleton eye glaring at you as they glowed lighter green in irritation

" Why do you look like some kind of wannabe villain? "

⚡ So, to sum it up, your first meeting wasn't the best one...

⚡ But, after a few more attempts to be civil to one another landed you a part as a new member of the Hater Army, your spot laying alongside Commander Peepers, though you were more of a spy than anything

⚡ And life was doing pretty well, you and Lord Hater had begun to court and try getting your traits to collide and mix well with your new lives together as Peepers had to keep you from snapping the hot-head's neck every week

⚡ When Wander, the brother that you had sent away, came back and found you alongside Lord Hater, his eyes sparkled; had you found someone that you loved like him?!

⚡ Sylvia and Hater do not get along at all, only putting up with one another for you and Wander, since they both knew how dear you guys were to one another

⚡ Commander Peepers and you always have to keep Hater from jumping up and trying to kill Wander for his antics, such as trying to play tag with him, resulting in you taking the day off and heading to a nearby planet

⚡ He and Wander see each other far differently

⚡ Wander adores your lover, whenever you ask him what he thinks of the Lord, he always laughs and gives you an honest and optimistic opinion as you smile and laugh at his small story of his last game with him

⚡ Hater on the other hand, does not share well things. Instead, it results in him whining about how annoying your younger brother was, and that turns into a sob story of a failed accomplishment, which led to him being curled in your lap with a large pink blanket around his frame

⚡ While they may not have the best bond, Hater can put up with your brother if it means you'll stay by his side. You're the best thing he had ever held to himself, alongside his planetary conquers of course!

[sdr2lovemail]

Hi there!

I finally got around to request something for Bill ^⁠_⁠^

Could I get some Bill Cipher x reader headcanons during weirdmageddon? How would it look like being by his side as his s/o? I love this yellow triangle so much-

Have a nice day / night! <3

Being Bill Cipher's partner during Weirdmageddon! (GN Reader)

Notes: I'm surprised in all my time of being in the gravity falls fandom I've never written anything for it. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Unhealthy relationships

It’s all reliant on if we’re talking about canon Bill or a more fanon version where he’s capable of love. So I’ll write both!

Canon Bill would keep you around more as a plaything than a partner. A trophy, if you will. He’s taken over the world, the Pines were out of his hair, and all he needed now was a prize! And that little prize would be you! 

He will poke, push, and prod every one of your buttons until you give him a reaction. Getting angry towards him won’t do anything for you. It’ll just bring him to provoke you more.

Bill would give his henchmaniacs free rein to torment you as long as no fatal harm comes to your body.

Any privacy you thought you had is nonexistent. There are eyes everywhere. Literally!

Now, there’s another side I could imagine. It's a side that’s nicer but still nowhere near friendly. If you were a possible disciple of his, wanting to help him start the end of the world, you’d be treated slightly better. 

You’d be more like a servant than a trophy. He would give you more freedom in a way. Like sending you to do tasks that he can’t be bothered to do.

“Hey, disciple. Go run to the never ending forest dimension and send Mother Nature a message. She still owes me something.” There wouldn’t even be time for you to respond before he whisks you away with a snap of his fingers.

Now, moving on to a more romantic version of Bill!

Having been betrothed to the strongest being in the universe, you’ll be absolutely spoiled. Anything across the multiverse is yours. Bill can make it happen!

While he doesn’t need to sleep, he’ll set up a room just for you in the Fearamid. Ever seen a triangle-shaped bed? Well, now you have! The room would be decorated in the gaudiest decorations a demon could think of. I hope you like the color gold, you’ll be seeing it in your nightmares. The room would be soundproof as well. The party isn’t stopping just because Bill’s human needs some rest.

Affection with Bill won’t be typical by human standards. Rather than hugs and gentle touches, he’s a lot more aggressive. Punches on the arm, slaps on the back, and heavy-handed head rubs are more his style. But maybe if you beg, he’ll let you kiss one of his surfaces.

Trips to another dimension are always a fun date idea! You’ll be introduced to species and lands beyond your mortal comprehension. See anything you like here, go ahead and take it back to the Fearamid. What you want is yours to take!

[yandere-gravity-falls]

Yandere [Aged Up] Dipper Pines Headcanons

He's a really good listener and knows everything about you

Even things you've never told him

He writes about you in multiple journals

He's kind of awkward around you when you are both alone. Like, he'll stutter, stumble over his words, trip over nothing, etc

He has your name tattooed on near his ankle [He was not in the right of mind]

Though, when he's not awkward, this man is a full-on player [Man has the rizz]

Mabel finds it annoying that he's hitting on HER friend

He's not ever really on his phone, but he has a special sound for when you text him and he always answers straight away, dropping what he's doing

God, his heart thumps a million miles when you instantly respond

He's a clumsy dancer, but he learns fast

He loves to stare at you and can/will lose track of time

When Mabel gets over her distaste for her brother liking her friend, she actually plans to help him [After giving him a million tests to make sure he's not going to pull a player move]

^Though it never ends well, because Mabel isn't the best wingman, as she gets distracted easily

She might also tell you that Dipper has a crush, so he tries to get you out before Mabel says something stupid

He takes you to the most beautiful and exotic places in Gravity Falls that no one else knows about [Waterfalls, Forests, The UFO landing, etc]

He loves when you go on the adventures with him, but he does end up messing up because he's so worried about impressing you [But when you get hurt or kidnapped, his demeanor takes a 180]

Though at the end of the day, he still has a piece of the awkward kid

[alex-rambles]

What would Bill do if he accidentally hurt us? Like it’s during weirdmaggedon or just whenever he got a physical body and he was aiming to use his powers to hurt someone else but they dodge it and it ends up hitting us and it gives us extreme and unbearable pain to the point we scream

-He actually screams himself

-Bill doesn't cuss but now he does

-"OH FUCK! SORRY DOLL, I'M SORRY!"

-Intended victim gets time to escape as he is now focused on you

-"Are you okay? Here, this should help with the pain and let me just heal that up-"

-He's feeling incredibly guilty, really has never felt worse

-He treats you to whatever you want

-Then he finds his intended victim and punishes them five times as hard for "making him" accidentally hurt you

-He is much, much more tentative using his powers around you from then on

[sleepingdeath-light]

medium s/o hcs ; dipper & ford

requested by ; anonymous (02/06/22)

fandom(s) ; gravity falls

fandom masterlist(s) ; here

character(s) ; dipper pines, stanford pines

outline ; “HIIIIIII can i req dipper and stanford pines with an s/o that is a medium? like can see and speak with ghosts and other supernatural things and is vv superstitious?”

warning(s) ; none, just fluff!

dipper pines

initially dipper had brushed off your superstitions as a matter of upbringing

he’d met many people over the years who absentmindedly threw leftover salt over their shoulder or who veered around ladders out of habit — so, to him, you were far from abnormal in that regard

granted your superstitions were a bit more specific than most and you were a bit more insistent on him abiding by them (at least when you were together) than most — but he just brushed it off as one of your eccentricities

i mean he spends most of his days studying the supernatural so far beyond him to judge someone for trying to protect themselves

then you sat him down and told him about your gift and that’s when everything clicked into place

the knocking on doors before entering any room — even the ones you knew were empty

the refusal to whistle at night — and your scolding of him for doing so

the refusal to enter older buildings

you could see the dead and didn’t want to disturb them — it made so much sense now

he’d question you about your abilities — limits, experiences and what exactly you can and cannot do — and write them all down in his own notebook

and he’d default to you and your experiences when dealing with hauntings going forwards to minimise any upsetting of the dead

but beyond that he wouldn’t treat you any different

he’d just be more open with you about his studies, share in your superstitions and occasionally ask for your help or guidance where needed

and unless you want him to do something else with your gift, he won’t, and things will stay largely the same

stanford pines

your relationship likely only happened because of your gift — with the two of you meeting and becoming colleagues in studying the supernatural after ford heard of your talents and specifically tracked you down

of course for most of the time you knew him ford had been relatively dismissive and business oriented — not forming much of a personal bond so much as he was looking for your insight as a partner, as an equal, in his studies

and you hadn’t minded, merely insisting that he follow your instructions and doesn’t go against your superstitions when with you

it was a small ask and he readily complied, valuing the input of a medium far more than any pride or similar stigma that would have prevented him from going along with your instructions

you were effectively a coauthor for his journals, helping him gain the trust of these creatures, these entities, these communities to aid in a more thorough observation

helping him cross barriers in language and existence with lots of patience and your talent as an underlying foundation to it all

and, as time went on, the two of you inevitably got close enough to form the very beginnings of a romantic relationship

so close that your routines and habits start to mesh together so closely that you memorise his coffee order by heart and he never thinks twice about tossing that handful of salt over his shoulder or broadening his step so he avoids a crack in the pavement

closely intertwined and in love and awkward but it’s perfect for you both — you with your superstitions and him with his sciences

and you’re perfect for each other, sticking by for as long as you can — and returning to that old routine even after those years spent apart when he was lost in that void

but, still, you can recite his formulae off by heart and he pauses at the sight of a black cat or a leaning ladder — avoiding them no matter how much his brother and grandniblings tease him for it

because he knows better — he knows you

[ur-fav-inactive-writer]

𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐀 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐮𝐬 𝐍𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐬 𝐀 𝐁𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

Ford Pines x GN!Reader | Request by @angelic-simp

WC: 1318

You were Ford's best friend, you had known him and his twin brother, Stan, since you were kids. You, too, had lived in Glass Shard Beach and met the twins at the beach one day. You instantly became enamoured with Ford, becoming his closest friend. As you got older, the platonic love for Stanford had slowly turned into a romantic one. As strong as that love was, you refused to believe it. You'd never liked a boy before, surely what you felt for Ford was completely platonic, right?

~*~*~*~*~

Years and years after, you and Ford still had an unbreakable bond. You both graduated from high school and then proceeded to attend the same college. Through all the challenges of college, your bond had never withered or suffered. The two of you did everything with one another, you always studied with one another and you also shared the passion of anomalies with Ford. So, once the you had both graduated from Backupsmore and Ford decided to have a cabin built in Gravity Falls for his research, he thought it only made sense to invite you to go live with him to research things. You packed all your things up and started the car ride to Gravity Falls.

You hadn't gotten a drivers license yet, you were far too busy so when you started the road trip, you piled into Ford's car. He had been able to drive for years and he didn't mind getting to spend extra time with his favourite person. You talked for hours and hours. Eventually, you got sleepy after being awake for so long. Ford had somehow not felt an ounce of exhaustion. You yawned and yawned, dozing off every so often before Ford recommended that you lay down in the back seats and take a nap. He pulled over briefly, receiving pillows and blankets from the back of his car and helping you get comfy in the back. You laid down, snuggling into the blanket. Ford began to drive again and you slowly drifted into sleep.

Ford had been driving for about another 15 minutes until he decided to quickly check up on you in the mirror. His eyes flickered up the rear-view mirror and his heart softened. You were laying there, fast asleep, gently snoring and snuggling into your blankets. He smiled at the sight, making him fall even more in love with you, not that he knew that's what that warm feeling he felt at that point was. He looked at you for another few seconds before turning his attention back to the road.

~*~*~*~*~

You soon arrived in Gravity Falls and got to your cabin in the woods. It was gorgeous. You began unpacking and setting up the place you and Ford would call home. It felt... romantic to be living with Ford. But not in like a bad way, it actually felt quite... nice? It felt nice to share a home with him, to wake up to him, to go to bed to him, to share a life with him. It wasn't romantic though, at all, right? Yeah, definitely not.

~*~*~*~*~

The two of you had been living in your cabin for just over a year. It was great fun living with Ford. You were his lab assistant so the two of you got up to many entertaining experiments. You assisted him in writing his first journal, and then decided to make your own series of journals too. You helped him with his experiments and joined him on expeditions. Of course, you were scientists, that was your job. When you have a job, you have to work. But recently, you began to get tired. And on the other hand, Ford didn't seem tired at all, overworked but refusing to seem tired at all. It was concerning, he worked almost twice as much as you did but gave off no hints of exhaustion from how much he worked. One day, you were in the lab, it was quiet but both of you were at work.

You sat over at your desk, joining wires and planning out your inventions. You always invented machines for Ford, to help him with his anomaly research. As you sketched, you felt yourself feeling exhausted. You yawned but tried to persevere and keep going but you really couldn't. You glanced over to Ford and with a small stretch you asked;

"Hey, Ford, do you wanna come take a break with me?"

"Oh, um... no thank you (Y/N). However, you're welcome to go take one yourself if you'd like!" He said with a small smile before turning back to his work. You frowned and began to talk again.

"Are you sure, you've been overworking yourself recently with like no breaks. You certain you don't wanna come join me?"

"(Y/N), I don't know what you're talking about, I'm fine. Besides, I'm a genius, I don't need a break." He said with a small shrug as he continued writing in his journal. You scoffed at him and tried convincing him again.

"First of all, even geniuses need break. Second of all, pleaseeee will you join me? I'll give you jelly beans..." He paused at your last sentence, considering your offer and sighed as he stood up from his desk, turning to face you. You let out a small 'Yay!' as you hugged him hastily before turning to go back upstairs. He stared at you as you did so, beginning to blush and letting a small smile slip across his face as he trailed after you

~*~*~*~*~

You made your way up to your bedroom, after a pit stop in the kitchen to gather a bowl of jelly beans and snacks. Ford loved your bedroom, it smelt of you and it was so comfy and cosy. Your room was so welcoming and warm. So when you plopped down into your double bed. You got comfy under your covers before patting the bed next to you, indicating for Ford to come lay next to you. He blushed slightly, reluctantly climbing in. You turned on the TV in your room, playing some show on the Gravity Falls local channel. Not paying attention, you drifted off into sleep. Ford became infatuated with the storyline of the show before rotating his head to see you, peacefully sleeping. He got deja vu to the moment in the car a year ago, he felt at ease. Slowly, he dozed off, feeling comforted by your presence.

~*~*~*~*~

A few hours later, Ford slowly stirred. He saw the time flashing on your alarm clock, gasping when he saw that he overslept by many hours. He went to rush out of bed before he realised there was something holding onto him. He looked back, confused but instantly turned bright pink. There lying next to him, was you, arms wrapped around his waist, cuddling up to him. He couldn't just get up when you were laying there, so peaceful and adorable. He layed back down, softly putting his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. He murmured a small 'I love you', not noticing the fact you were semi-awake and heard him utter these words. You smiled gently as Ford drifted back into sleep.

Oh well, work can wait.

(A/N): Sorry if I've accidentally used non gn pronouns, I've written this at like 2:30am 😭 anyway hope you enjoy!!! <3

[trashcanfanfics]

might I request some headcanons for ford (young and old) w/ a reader who’s a witch (like from the boiling isles) and has their own place in the woods? they’re known as the witch of the woods and there are stories from local teens about how they’ll “steal your bones if you get too close to their house,” but they’re actually really nice and will make you lunch if you stop by.

please, and thank you 🔮

Man, do I love this idea!! I immediately started thinking of a little ficlet/imagine/scenario

Reader gender not mentioned, could be any gender

This turned out longer than I thought it would

I'd exiled myself to earth a bit ago in response to the ban on wild witches. It was easier for me to leave than to fight back then. I could probably go back anytime, but I'd rather not be forced to pick one coven.

It wasn't all bad here. The rain didn't burn, plants didn't move on their own or try to eat me. I loved the green color of the landscape and my palisman, Gretch, enjoyed the fresh air. The locals were friendly enough, and the children were curious.

I'd noticed that they were wary of me and my strange abilities. To combat this, I'd just make warm beverages and small meals for anyone traveling farther into the woods near my little cabin.

It was on my way home from the human store that I met him. A man stuck in the root of a tree. One of mine, unfortunately. In a moment of homesickness, I'd planted a seed from the Boiling Isles near my home, and this particular one was a grasping willow. A sigh escaped me, loud enough for my surprise captive to hear. He turned towards me, seeming to forget his foot was stuck, causing him to fall over. The man winced.

"I'm sorry for my tree, sir." I swirled my pointer finger into a circle of green. The root lifted and moved from his ankle. "He's just a bit playful." I set my bags down to offer him my hand. He hesitated, looking at my hand before reaching up and taking the offered help. Once he was up, I shook his hand with a smile and introduced myself.

"Nice to meet you," he quickly took his hand back and cleared his throat, "my name is Stanford Pines, though people call me Ford."

"Wonderful to meet you, Ford." I picked my bags back up and faced him again. "I have groceries to put away, so I have to go. Try walking in a wide circle to avoid Snipper if you're walking around here."

"Oh, uh, thank you for the advice." He waved awkwardly and turned to leave. I chuckled slightly and went on my own way. Gretch sniffed the air in his direction before hiding back into my cloak. They whispered to me about the stranger's smell as I walked back home.

~*~

Ford came around more often after that. He asked many questions, and I answered. I asked fewer questions but received more answers. He was eager to talk and learn, and I was grateful for the company. Ford became a part of my routine in the best way. We'd meet up for lunch at either mine or his cabin and tell me what he's found. His theories enthralled me. I'd developed quite the soft spot for him and missed him when he wasn't around. My palisman teased me endlessly about it, but stopped once I'd mention how they liked to curl up on his lap as he talked.

He'd started coming around less and less. I wondered what new oddity he was occupied with to take up all his time. Gretch had been keeping watch over him and hadn't seen much since they couldn't get into the cabin. Whenever he did visit, he was...distant. There were bags beneath his eyes, an erratic fear, and paranoia took over his voice, even when it was just a whisper. I was worried and told him as such. He'd stood abruptly from the living room couch, making poor Gretch leap to the floor, and looked at me for the first time in months.

"There's nothing to be worried about. I'm fine, everything's fine!" His eye twitched. I blinked a few times in shock at his outburst. My hands flew up in a placating manner.

"Okay, okay," I lowered my hands and held them out to him palm up, "how about I make you your favorite tea, hm?" His eyes lowered to my hands before placing his own in them. I gently squeezed his hands for exactly six seconds before standing up and leading him to the kitchen. He followed me as I moved around to make the tea. Gretch stayed close to him, attempting to comfort him. The kettle boiled and I pulled it off before the whistle blew. We both watched the tea steep for a few seconds before Ford wrapped me in a hug from behind. His head rested against me as he shook.

~*~

"I think...I think I did something very bad, and you won't forgive me." His voice cracked. I looked up from the soup I was serving to look at him. He was looking at his hands.

"I suppose that's a valid concern. Although, I can't say whether I would or wouldn't if I don't know what it is." I set the ladle down and grabbed the tray holding the bowls. "For what it's worth, there is very little you can do that I wouldn't be able to forgive." I set the tray on the table and set a bowl in front of him, then Gretch's, before sitting down my with my own.

"I..." He stared at the soup. "I care for you deeply, and I don't want you to be mixed up in my mistakes." His eyes were tired when they looked at me. My breath caught in my chest as I stared back. My palisman stopped slurping to to look up at both me and Ford.

"Is that what you're asking me to forgive? You caring deeply for me?" I looked down at my own soup, stirring it slightly. My heart raced as his words filled my mind. "If that's a thing in need of forgiveness, then I beg for yours in return." I look back at him with a small smile. His brow furrowed.

"That's not the point I'm making." Ford ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his forehead. "I've made a mistake that could put you in danger. Out of everything that's happened to me, you've been the best. I don't want to lose you." He pulled out a book from his bag. One of his journals. He slid the book over to me. Gretch leaned over the tray to sniff it before recoiling. I blinked and looked at him.

"Ford, what--" I was cut off by him rounding the table and kneeling beside me. He grabbed my hands in both of his and looked me in the eye, more serious than he'd ever been with me. Gretch, wanting a better view, crawled over the table to be beside me.

"Take this journal and hide it. Take it as far from here as possible. Go and never come back. Please." His voice trembled. "I don't want him to get you."

"Who? Who is going to get me? What aren't you telling me?" I pulled my hands from his to hold his face, tears brimming my eyes. "Ford, tell me what's going on, why do I have to leave? What will happen to you once I do?" Tears poured down my face as I bit back a sob. I'd been so worried about him, about why he'd been so distant. Then he was asking me to leave. Leave Gravity Falls, my home, the only person besides my palisman I trusted fully with all my heart. I didn't want to go.

"I can't tell you. Please, believe me, it's safer this way." Ford reached for my face, eyes flitting back between my own. He leaned in and kissed me softly, barely a whisper on my lips. My eyes shut, allowing more tears to fall. I pushed into him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, and deepened the kiss.

"I can't leave you." I said against his lips as we both pulled back slightly. I kissed him again. "I can't leave you, Ford." Our foreheads were pressed against each other.

"You have to." He pulled away and stood up. He grabbed his bag and turned to leave. Gretch chased after him immediately. I watched him go for a second, tears still falling down my face, before grabbing the book, and running after him. Grabbing the strap of his bag, I pulled him back.

"If you're going, then take this with you. I won't be part of something i don't know about." I shoved the book into his chest and glared at him through my tears. He looked at the book and then me before steeling his gaze. He shoved the book back into his bag and left. The front door closed, and I made my way back to the kitchen, Gretch following sadly behind. The soup had gone cold.

~*~

We hadn't spoken in a month. Four weeks. Thirty days. I went to his cabin to see him but his friend, Fiddleford McGucket, was on his way out and warned me to stay away from Ford.

"For your own sake." He said, rushing to his truck, bags in tow. "He's gone insane." I'd still knocked on his door for the next week. No reply. Gretch continued to keep an eye out and told me whatever they deemed relevant.

The next three I wallowed in my grief. Moping around the house, not taking care of my plants, or myself. I could barely brush my teeth or eat. My body odor followed me like a cloud. Days blurred together. Gretch tried to help me, but they were just as upset. Eventually, I had to go out to get more groceries.

On the way to the store, in my sweatpants, hooded sweater and muddy boots, I passed by Ford's cabin flying low to the ground on Gretch. As I looked towards it, my heart clenching painfully, the trees began to shake. I looked around in confusion as Gretch and I slowed to a stop. Then back to the cabin. The basement windows lit up a bright blue. Before I could stop myself, I flew straight towards the door, using my magic to unlock it. Bursting into the foyer, down the steps to the basement, I saw two figures.

There was Ford and someone else who looked like him. Stanley, his twin brother. Ford had told me about him. Ford was floating in the air, waving his limbs around, trying not to get pulled into a giant machine glowing with the light I'd seen outside.

"Ford!" I yelled, running to help him. Gretch almost reached him as he screamed his brother's name. He was sucked into the portal faster than I could cast a spell. "FORD!" I fell to my knees in front of the portal, next to where Stanley was standing. He was gone. My tears became my closest friends in the past weeks. These ones felt different. They hurt more, like daggers down my cheeks. He was gone. My friend, the one I adored and trusted the most. Gone. I sobbed out his name again, looking at the ground, Getch placed their head into my lap.

"Uh, are you...Did you...know my brother?" The voice made me jump. I turned to Stanley. I'd forgotten he was here in my anguish. I sniffed and wiped my face on my sleeve.

"Yes. He was my friend."

~*~

Ford had been gone for 30 years. After he'd been taken through the portal, Stan and I began a sort of friendship. He was brash and rude, his voice was gruff. He was different from Ford in so many ways, but so similar. Our friendship wasn't like the one with Ford. It was less lunch dates and more I'd bring him meals and take him shopping.

He'd convinced a crowd of shoppers that he was the mysterious scientist in the cabin while he was shopping by himself one day. I'd gotten very angry at him and refused to talk to him for a week after that. Eventually, I came around to it, realizing that he does need to make money somehow.

In time, the "Mystery Shack", as Stan called it, became quite profitable. People were attracted to its unbelievable aura. Personally, I found most of Stan's grotesque attractions to feel like home. I'd known someone who looked like the "Eyeball with Legs" back in the Boiling Isles. Gretch was glad Stan never asked them to be an exhibit. Sometimes, I feel as though Stan took inspiration from my stories.

It was summer when the twins came to Gravity Falls. Stan told me I wasn't allowed to do magic or talk to them about the strangeness in our little town. I told him that I wasn't going to hide who I was from anyone, and if he had a problem with it, don't let them go out by my cabin. We had a heated argument about that. I had resolved to not speak, or even go looking for him or anyone from the Shack that whole summer.

Of course, that didn't stop them from looking for me. Apparently, Ford had written about me in his third journal, and Dipper had stumbled across it. It lead them both to my doorstep with a gentle knock on the door.

"Hello?" As I opened the door, I saw two children, tweens, it seemed. The girl was holding a video camera at my face. "Oh!" They looked familiar almost.

"Uh, hi, uh..." The boy ruffled through a familiar book. I realized then who I must've been talking to. This must be Dipper and Mabel. The Pines' genetics must have been strong, they looked just like their great uncles. "Are you the witch of the woods?" His question made me laugh slightly. Gretch poked their head out the door to sniff at the children, causing the girl to gasp and coo at them, holding a hand out. I debated telling them both to leave, but it had been a while since I'd had company. Besides, it was getting a bit dark, and the woods were dangerous for children to go out into.

"That's what the townsfolk call me, yes." I gestured for them to come inside. "Would you like some tea?" The girl quickly came in with an excited smile. She was already petting and baby-talking Gretch. I chuckled.

"Oh, you're so cute! What's your name?" She looked around my living room and gasped. "I love your curtains!" She raced over to touch them before her brother stopped her, scolding her in a hushed tone. I smiled at them before going into the kitchen with Gretch in tow. They followed soon after.

"I'm not going to eat you, despite what the other children might say." I grabbed three tea cups and started the stove. "I don't do much other than tend to my plants and feed hikers that come by." I placed teabags into a teapot.

"So you're...not a witch?" The boy asked. I laughed again and ushered them to sit at the table. The girl gasped at the center piece. A lovely potted plant of flowers Ford had gifted me a long time ago. They were spring flowers, so they had stopped blooming. I smiled fondly at them.

"What kind of plant is this?" She touched the leaves gently. "It's so pretty."

"They're called shooting stars." I swirled my pointer finger in a green circle, causing the flowers to glow green as well and bloom. Gretch sniffed them, then sneezed. "They're normally a spring flower, but I'm able to keep them going with the sunroof in place and a bit of magic.

"So you are a witch!" The boy yelled. The kettle whistled and I quickly went to stop it. "This is incredible! Mabel! Did you catch that on video?" His sister, Mabel, looked at the camera, which had been placed facing away from the plant, towards a window.

"Whoops." She fixed the camera to face the flowers, which had ceased glowing and sat, bloomed, but otherwise non magical. He groaned in frustration and looked at me.

"Would you do that again? For the camera?" He gestured to the technology. I finished making the tea and brought it over, giving them each a cup.

"I would," I sat down in my own chair, "but the flowers are already bloomed, dear." I took a sip and set it back down. Looking at him with a small smile full of humor. Gretch huffed in their form of laughter. Ford had always called me a smart ass.

"Darnit!" He put his head on the table. Mabel reached over and patted his back before taking a sip of her tea. She hummed in delight at the taste and finished the cup in a few gulps. I offered her more, which she gladly accepted, drinking more before scratching Gretch on the head. The palisman leaned into her hand.

"I could do something else for your, oh, what are you needing the footage for, Dipper?" My question made his head shoot up. He looked at me in surprise. I realized that I'd called him his name before he'd told me.

"How do you know my name?" His eyes widened. "Do you read minds?" I was already shaking my head before he finished. Gretch huffed another laugh.

"I know your uncle, is all." I held my hand up to stop both of their questions. "Stan and I are, well, I suppose you could call us friends."

"Are you two in a relationship? Are you in love?" Mabel stood on her chair, her hands planted on the table as she leaned towards me. I scrunched my face in slight disgust even thinking about being with Stan. My palisman sneezed and shook their head.

"Absolutely not." I huffed and rolled my eyes. "Not even if he begged." The very idea of Stan being who I came home to made me very uncomfortable. Besides...I still dreamed of Ford. I regretted that our first and only kiss was when he was leaving. Maybe if I'd been braver in the beginning, said something sooner, he'd still be here. Maybe it'd have chased him away earlier than he did.

"Um, witch...sir? Ma'am? Sma'mir?" Mabel's voice drew me out of my reverie. I blinked and looked at her. She tilted her head in confusion.

"Pardon, I was leagues away. Did you say something, dear?" I looked at the clock to see the time. "Oh, that might have to wait. You two need to get home." I stood and ushered them to the living room where I grabbed my warmest shawls. They would have to do, my coats were buried in the hall closet. I wrapped one around Mabel, as she was the closest, so that it covered her head. when I turned to do the same to Dipper, he refused.

"I'll be fine, I don't need it." He held up his hands and I put mine on my hips. My eyebrow arched as I gave him a look that said this wasn't an argument. Gretch went behind him and gently nudged him towards me.

"It gets cold at night, especially in the woods." I quickly threw it over his shoulders and over his head like his sister. Mabel giggled as she pointed the camera at us. Dipper's frown deepened as his cheeks reddened. "I won't have you catch a chill on my watch. It'll just be another thing for Stan to b-ahem, yell about." With them properly bundled, I wrapped myself up and had Gretch turn into a staff. Both children gasped.

"I definitely got that on video." Mabel said as I waved them both to get on. Mabel in front of me and Dipper behind, I took off, up and over the trees. The twins both yelled out, though I suspected for different reasons.

As we walked up the porch, the door swung open to reveal Stan himself. He looked from both of the twins then to me. His eyes darkened slightly.

"I told you not to talk to them!" He pushed them both behind him and pointed a finger at me. "You said you wouldn't!" His glare matched mine. I pushed his hand out of my face and lifted my chin.

"Children, cover your ears." I spared them a glance to see them do so. My finger replaced his between us. "They were deep in those damn woods at dusk! I wouldn't have had to take them home if you had been doing your fucking job of keeping them safe! No wonder they're up to their goddamned knees in the supernatural of this fucking town!"

"How much did you tell them, what did you tell them?!" He got closer to me, dangerously so. I pointed my palisman staff towards him as a barrier. "So help me, if you told them-!" That made me scoff.

"Oh, please, I didn't tell them anything." I scoffed and waved my other hand to dismiss the thought. "Do you have such little faith in me? After all these years?" A sigh left my lips as I shook my head.

"Just stay away from them!" He pointed a finger at me again. "They don't need to be involved with all this weirdness." His statement made me roll my eyes and I turned to leave.

"They're already too invested in the weirdness, Stanley." I turned my head to look back at him over my shoulder, mounting my palisman. "They won't end up like him in one summer, but if you're that worried, keep them out of the woods." With that, I took off into the sky.

~*~

The children clearly didn't listen to Stan, if he told them to stay away from me. They came around my home every few days or so, asking me about myself and the woods surrounding. I'd been vague about my friendship with Ford, for Stan's sake if nothing else. Gretch enjoyed their company, especially Mabel's. She would bring the palisman snacks and plenty of affection. Waddles and Gretch became fast friends when the pig was brought along as well.

Mabel had latched onto my story of him and was sobbing by the time I'd told her he was gone and I'd never see him again. Dipper also seemed disappointed, wanting to meet the scientist. He'd asked if I was talking about the author of the journals. I'd told him no. Gretch whined at that, clearly frustrated I wouldn't tell them anything. I just shooed her away.

They told me about their adventures and a figure named Bill. I'd sat eagerly by, hearing about their encounters. They had been in danger multiple times over the summer and I'd nearly gone to shout at Stan some more before they said they didn't want him to know. I explained to them that not telling Stan was a mistake. He is their guardian for the summer and needed to know where they were so he could help if needed. They disagreed and went home. I'd asked Gretch to watch over them for a while to make sure they weren't in too much danger.

It was sometime after Mabel's sock opera when the kids invited me over. Well, more Mabel did, with Stan's permission. Though the man had been rather grumpy over the phone. I was amused by Mabel's antics and agreed, soon making my way over there. Gretch sniffed the air and shook their head, rubbing their nose.

"Oh hush, I'm sure Stan can't stink that bad from out here." I joked before knocking on the door. "Should we invest in nose plugs for you?" The door opened before they could retort. Mabel squealed when she saw me and pulled me into the cabin and to the living room.

"You're going to love this guy, trust me," She squealed again, "I'm a master match maker." I laughed at her enthusiasm. She was determined to have me meet someone. The only time she'd stopped was when she'd found out Stan had a crush on Lazy Susan.

"Mabel, I've told you already that I'm perfectly fine on my own. I really should stop ind--" I looked up to see the unfortunate suitor this time. My eyes widened and my heart stopped. I knew the figure instantly. Despite the wrinkles, my dreams made sure I'd never forget his face. "Ford?" His eyes widened as he recognized me. He said my name in a whisper. Gretch wasted no time in throwing themselves at him, circling and sniffing and bumping into him. He huffed a laugh and pet them gently.

"I didn't forget you either." He looked up from the palisman back to me. "I'd thought you'd have left Gravity Falls." His other hand twitched, as if he wanted to touch me. I couldn't hold back, I ran to him and wrapped him in a hug. The tears that had been building up overflowed.

"I told you I couldn't." I felt his arms slowly hug me back. He squeezed me gently and buried his face into my neck. I gave him one more squeeze before pulling back slightly to look up at him. Our eyes met and I smiled brighter than I'd had in years. He returned the gesture. "I'm glad you're back." Tears continued to slide down my face and I sniffed.

"You knew each other?!" Mabel's voice broke us both out of our little bubble. "What?!" She turned to Dipper, who'd just walked in, and shook him by his shoulders screaming about how this is a better story than the Dusk series. Dipper, having pulled himself from his sister's grasp, looked at me and Ford, still in an embrace. Mabel ran out of the room to go tell Stan.

"...When I asked if the person you were talking about was the author of the journals..." He furrowed his brows. I hesitantly pulled myself fully from Ford's arms and cleared my throat.

"I lied, yes." My hand was already up to stop him from asking questions or comment on my dishonesty. "Stan had asked me not to, it would have caused problems if you knew." The boy looked displeased with my answer.

"That's what Grunkle Stan said, too." He crossed his arms. "It's stupid! If we knew, we could have helped rebuild the portal and get Great Uncle Ford back!" His statement had Ford opening his mouth, but I was faster.

"Now, that's enough, young man!" I put one hand on my hip and pointed a finger at him. He jumped and his eyes widened. I'd never raised my voice at either of the twins before. "Stan is a ridiculously infamous liar, but this time he did out of necessity. You weren't there to see what happened after Ford was sucked into that portal, he was dealing with the grief of losing his brother and while I'm going to have very strong words with him out of earshot of you kids about rebuilding that machine, it's understandable how he went about things." Gretch sneezed, huffed and then looked away. I raised an eyebrow at them and put my other hand on my other hip. They gazed right back at me and yawned before laying down nonchalantly. I rolled my eyes. They never truly liked Stan. Ford laughed slightly at mine and Gretch's wordless exchange. I turned to him with a slight smile and a raised eyebrow. He only shook his head fondly.

"You're defending him?" Dipper stuck up his chin, ignoring the palisman. "I thought you guys didn't like each other..." A sigh escaped me at that. I crossed the room, pulled out a chair to the card table before sitting down. Ford followed to stand next to me, my heart swelled at the thought that he was here. Actually back.

"Stan and I don't always see eye to eye," I began, watching Dipper join me at the table, "but, well, I helped him for the first few months after the incident. With the portal, I mean. We looked through the research we had to figure it out."

"You helped with that?" Ford looked incredulous. "Why? It was dangerous!" His outburst made me look at him with a huff. Gretch snuffed out a laugh and made themself comfortable on the old yellow chair.

"I was getting to that." This seemed to placate him as he closed his mouth and cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Anyway, I had been helping him, reading through the only journal we had, before I'd looked at everything and used my oracle abilities to try and track down any others. I'd had a vision in my crystal of what would happen if I helped further and told Stan what I'd seen."

"I'm guessing he didn't believe you?" Dipper asked, rolling his eyes. I smiled at how the resemblance he had to Stan in that moment.

"He rolled his eyes just like that when I told him. Stan's always been a stubborn bas--ahem, man." I snickered, glancing at Ford and winking when our eyes met. His face reddened "It's a family trait, I've noticed."

"I'd hardly call myself stubborn." Ford crossed his arms and looked away. "It's not stubbornness when you're right." His defensiveness made me bark out a laugh. His face deepened in color as he refused to look at me.

"Okay, and when you told him what would happen and he didn't believe you, you stopped helping?" Dipper put his arms on the table and leaned towards me, eagerly waiting for the rest of the story.

"Well...not exactly." I looked off to the side, thinking how to phrase my words. "I mean, I stopped helping with the portal, yes, but I stayed until the Shack became more popular. In the beginning of the change, I understood needing the money, but the more ridiculous it became, the more I felt like it was wrong. We'd gotten into a huge fight over it. There's been tension ever since."

"So you and Gruncle Stan were never together?" Mabel's voice made me jump. I looked to see her sitting on the floor and Stan leaning against the yellow chair Gretch had fallen asleep in. He looked at Mabel in confusion. I rubbed my hand on my forehead and sighed.

"Mabel. I've told you this." I looked at Stan and scrunched my nose, he rolled his eyes, his arms crossed. "I have never, and I mean ever, considered Stan anything more than an unlikely friend." I looked at her and shook my head.

"Yeah, they're not my type anyway." He snickered. It was my turn to roll my eyes before crossing my own arms. I raised my eyebrows at him.

"Yes, his type is anything twenty years younger and doesn't have enough wits to realize he isn't as funny as he thinks he is." I smirked at the indignant noise he made at my jab. "Or a spider." My last comment made Dipper and Mabel laugh as Stan's face grew red.

"Hey! She didn't look like a spider at the time!" He grumbled and looked back down at Gretch, poking them to try and get them to move. They growled in response. "How do you even know about that?" He looked at the kids and then grumbled under his breath again.

"Besides," I looked at Mabel, "I have my eye on only one person. I have since I first met him." Her eyes sparkled as she looked between me and Ford. Dipper looked exasperated.

"Is he Great Uncle Ford?!" She stood up and pointed at us both. I chuckled at her enthusiasm. Ford looked at her, his mouth agape and cheeks red. Dipper rolled his eyes, but seemed interested as he eyed both me and Ford with interest.

"Yes." I smiled at him as he already opened his mouth, words spilling out before he could register what I said.

"That's hardly an appropriate thing to say--" He stopped and looked at me. "Did you say yes?" He was staring at me in amazement. I could see Stan gagging in my peripheral vision. Mabel giggled and Dipper started writing down on a piece of paper.

"I did." I raised my eyebrow at Ford. "Did you forget about that kiss? I'm a bit insulted." He blinked and cleared his throat, looking away. His face was so red, I thought he was going to faint from the blood rush.

"No!" He cleared his throat again. "No, I just...I didn't think..." His gaze softened and he reached out to cup my face. I leaned in, keeping eye contact as he rubbed a thumb over my cheek. My hand reached up and held his there.

"Ugh, gross. Get a room." We both looked at Stan who gagged again. "At least take it outside." I rolled my eyes again and stood up, bringing Ford's hand from my face to hold between us. He looked at me as I reached up my own hand to bring his face closer to mine. At long last, I kissed him. He made a muffled noise of surprise but quickly leaned into the kiss. Stan and Dipper both groaned as Mabel cheered. I pulled back and looked Ford in the eyes.

"I wish I'd told you sooner," I leaned in and gave him another kiss, "I love you Stanford Pines."

~*~

Weirdmageddon had been concluded, the twins, both sets, safe and sound. Dipper and Mabel had their birthday before saying goodbye. I'd cried as I hugged them. They'd each received a charm of good luck. Ford and Stan had decided to sail around the world, inviting me to join them. I'd told them I'd let them catch up for a few years before setting sail with them. I'd be here when they came back during the summers.

"Are you sure? We don't mind, really." Ford had encouraged, but I shook my head with a smile. Stan shrugged his shoulders with a small smile.

"Yeah, it'd be nice to have a powerful witch aboard." He smacked a hand on my shoulder. I laughed and patted his hand. He moved it back to his side.

"I'm sure you boys can handle yourselves. Besides, I've waited this long." I looked at Stan then Ford. Gretch huffed and sat firmly next to Ford, daring me to try and stop her from going. "Fine by me, Gretch. Go on with them, I'll see you in a few years."

"It doesn't have to be years..." Ford looked down at them with a sheepish smile. "You could join us at the end of next summer." Stan gave a noise of agreement.

"Yeah!" Stan gave me a nudge. "It'd be nice to catch up with you, too." We had gained some of our friendship back during the apocalypse and I was glad for it. I smiled and shook my head fondly.

"Alright, fine." They both smiled at my confirmation. "Send me letters in the meantime." Stan agreed and went to say one more goodbye to his protege, Soos, before getting the car. Gretch huffed and walked off, deciding to stay with me after all. Ford stepped closer to me, gently cupping my face in one of his hands. We both leaned in and kissed. Stan drove up and honked the horn, causing us to reluctantly part.

"I promise to write." He gave me one more kiss before getting into the car and they both drove off. I kept waving until they were out of sight.

"See you next summer." I said before heading back home with Gretch. My heart felt full.

[silkythewriter]

“i love you you may as well take my heart it's already full of you!”pt.1

Summary: they were obsessed In absolute love with you, every step,every breath, every inch of skin on your body, they were absolutely memorized by you, you were the most beautiful person they’ve ever laid eyes on. Soon They’ll show you how much they worship love you

Small warning: Yandere’s, toxic relationships, gore, stalking, ect

Small note:I’ve been feeling creatively drained a bit so I’m working on a self project before moving on and working on requests! :>. I hope y’all don’t mind!

Fandom:Any and all

Daily song suggestion:

They watched silently from afar as they watched your skin lightly glow under the sun, god you were perfect you were an Angel compared to them they didn’t even deserve to be so close to you right now, but they couldn’t help themselves they just had to. They sighed contently as they watched you and your elegance, perfection was the only way they could describe you but at last all good things must come to an end as your friend walked up and started talking to you. Their hands balled into a fist and their eyes furrowed as a frown formed on their face “damnit” they muttered to themselves as your friend blocked their view of you, they would have killed them right there and then but they knew better then to do that after all they wouldn’t want pigs blood on a precious thing like you. Just imagining it made them gag in disgust, they quietly shook off the reaction before backing up into the covers of the shadows and quietly walking over to a new better view. They smiled softly as they heard you giggle, even if they hated that they weren’t the one making you giggle still, they would take what they could at this desperate time they’ve been in, all they wanted was you in their arms and only In their arms the urge to run up to you and tackle you to the ground and never let you go was hard to contain but still they had to mange until their plan came into motion. Just a few more day and they finally might have a chance to be near you and breath your all so lovely scent and to hear that voice they love all so too much.

“Well I’ll be heading off now!” You said to your friend as you gave them a small wave before stepping back and walking off “Bye Y/n!!” They said as they waved behind you, you smiled as you waved back and turned your head to where you were walking to. “I should probably Oder food today.. its way to late to cook now..” you sighed running your fingers through your hair as you thought about the day you had. All day the feeling of eyes watching you was apparent.. yet you could never figure out why.. that uneasy feeling in your stomach didn’t help either it’s like your gut was telling you to run but you didn’t…god you were going to regret that one day when you look back on this moment

A hand found its way to your shoulder as a small tap was made, you jumped slightly from the sudden touch, your skin was covered with goosebumps as a pit formed in your stomach and a ball of saliva formed in your throat which you swallowed nervously as you turned around “hey there! Didn’t mean to scare ya” they chuckled as their eyes scanned over your body “oh no! That’s quite alright, uhm do I know you?” You asked as you tilted your head to the side in confusion, god you were just sickeningly adorable I mean who couldn’t love a face like yours?? “No, you don’t but hopefully you will soon!” They answered happily.. almost to happily something was definitely odd about their character but you quickly shook off the feeling as not to be rude. “Oh?” You said questioningly as you continued walking and watched them quickly walk next to you “I’ve seen you around often!, we live in the same apartment building” they said with a small smile “oh! I’m so sorry.. i must have not noticed you around, it’s been busy these past months” you chuckled nervously as you looked off to the side not sure of what else to say. “That’s alright, I’ve just thought if I see you so often why not get to know you” they said shrugging their shoulders “understandable I guess…” you whispered under your breathe “hm?” They said looking towards you “ah!, nothing, nothing, just talking to myself” you said as you desperately tried thinking of a way to get out of this interaction

You knew it was stupid but the pit in your stomach only grew every second they were around you, you honestly didn’t know why but the uncomfortableness was almost unbearable at this point. Your eyes widen at an idea as a soft smile spread across your face “hey look it was nice talking to you but I gotta go get groceries, thank you so much for the talk though!” You said, if going to the near by dirty grocery store meant getting them off your back you’ll gladly go, fuck take out you’ll just buy a heat up dinner. “Oh well I guess I’m in luck I was heading there too!” They chirped as they smiled to you “oh…. Okay then” you said giving a small fake smile. The feeling of unease just grew and grew the more you walked as your mouth formed a line and your body tensed, maybe you were just being paranoid! Yea..yea! That can explain everything, I mean after all those horror movies you watched yesterday probably had something to do with it

“So what do you do for a living!” They asked eyeing you, they already knew, they already knew everything about you actually but having a chance to talk to you was to hard to give up. “Oh I’m a I/J” you smiled as you kept eyeing the store that you were nearing, maybe you could just sneak off while they weren’t watching and just blend into the crowd of people. “Really? How nice” they said getting even closer to you then needed, you didn’t even notice due to being lost in thought about the plan you’ve created. Finally after an awkward silence you guys stopped at the entrance of the bustling small building, many locals went here even spite of how dirty and old it was, it looked as if it was about to collapse in on itself in any minute hell it still had the old rusty sign from when it was first opened “you first” they said as they walked up and opened the door for you “thank you” you said almost above a whisper

Their un dying smile just grew more, oh this day is gonna be so fun….

[adalwolfgang]

[sleeplessdreamer14]

Y/N: Kids. Bed. Now. I wanna talk to your grunkle.

Stan/Ford: No, kids, stay. Please stay.

Y/N: Go.

Stan/Ford: Stay.

Y/N: Go!

Stan/Ford: Stay!

Y/N: You, go!

Stan/Ford: Kids, stay!

Y/N: Now!

Stan/Ford: Dipper, don’t move!

Y/N: You go!

Stan/Ford: Mabel, stay!

Y/N: Get outta here!

Stan/Ford: Don’t leave me!!

Dipper & Mabel: (gradually walk away towards the stairs)

[magicalbunbun]

Can I ask if you will continue your Gravity Falls AU, or if you have completely abandoned it? I would just like to know more about this au, about the relationship between Ford and Stanley, how Ford himself treats Y/n, how Deeper and Mabel treat Y/n, if they would even see each other in this au, how Bill himself ultimately feels about them, whether they have any hidden agendas, and what their character is roughly like. Do they have the same goal of taking over the universe as Bill, or are they just having fun doing all sorts of crap that is beyond the reach of the human brain?

I would just be interested to know about all this, even if the answers themselves are in written form, I will be glad. I would like to know more about this au in general.

Y/n says all of them are stupid but use them as cards in game with bill, mostly because y/n wants to make bill suffer and mess up bills plans.

[g4l4xy-qu33n]

Stanford Pines SFW Alphabet

A/N: Pretty much what it says on the tin. These are all my personal opinions and headcanons of Ford, so please don’t come at me saying that somethings not entirely canon! No use of Y/N, and reader is written with female for the gender in mind, but no genitalia or body type is specified, so technically reader can be interpreted as anything.

warnings: pretty much just your basic sfw alphabet fluff, with a tiny bit of smut if you squint

(sorry if this wasn’t formatted correctly, I’m not that sure how to use tumblr properly yet-)

proofread by nobody (and I think the tense changes a bit)

enjoy this brainrot I guess-

<3

Mostly SFW Alphabet for Stanford Pines

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Ford is VERY affectionate. (More often when he’s tired since he mostly just expresses his feelings through physical touch, and not words.)

Ford shows affection through:

Hugs from behind with his hands wrapped around your waist. He would also kiss softly into your neck with a small smile on his face.

When laying in bed, (when he actually goes to bed), Ford would make sure you face him and then he would proceed to slowly kiss you until you both fell asleep, lips still touching.

Cuddles. This man loves cuddles. Give him cuddles.

If you fell asleep while he was working (on the couch in his office) he would get the most fluffy blanket he can find and tuck you in. He would also mutter a lot of really sappy stuff into your ear he would never admit to saying while he pet your head or caressed your side. This is why you pretend to fall asleep on his couch a lot.

He just randomly hugs/kisses you when he can during the day.

He also would tuck a stray bit of hair behind your ear when he notices it’s out.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Being Fords best friend (and SO) would have a lot involved in it. For example:

Having to listen to his rambling about random science stuff. (You love it tho)

Having to drag him away from his work (literally) when he pushes himself too far and forgets about basic human needs

Having to comfort and stand up for him when he gets bullied about his hands/fingers

Having to help him build his boat (the Stan’O’War)

Having to comfort him after Stanley left, telling him that his brother doesn’t hate him etc.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

As I said earlier, this man LOVES cuddles.

He loves any sort of cuddle position, but spooning will always be his favourite. He likes being the big spoon and smelling your hair (he loves the smell and would sometimes steal your shampoo just for the smell.) He would never admit this, but he also likes being the little spoon, because he feels protected and loved.

His other favourite cuddle position is when you are facing each other and he can kiss you, with one of his hands on the side of your head. 

He liked it when you two cuddled and you were lying on top of him with your head on his chest.

A cuddle position he REALLY wants to try is him lying on your chest. Also your lap. He wants to lie on your thighs and get head pats, he’s just too embarrassed to ask. If he were to ask he’d immediately flush pink, start stuttering and putting his hand on the back of his neck.

He’d also love it when you sat on his lap while he worked, but would get ‘annoyed’ (not really) after a while because he has work he needs to do. Eventually he’ll pick you up and carry you to bed (if you fell asleep or not, it doesn’t matter), but grab onto him when he puts you down on the bed and he’ll give in and cuddle until you both fell asleep. You would have to let go if he really has A LOT of work to do. (like build an interdimensional portal a demon told him to build)

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Ford wouldn’t exactly jump at the idea of settling down and having a family, but after a bit of persuasion he would MAYBE adopt a singular kid. Ford knows that he wouldn’t be the best parent, and that he’d probably accidentally ignore them.

Fords skill in cooking isn’t the best, and he usually relies on you to cook meals. If he had to cook, he would either make a frozen microwave meal or something simple like Mac and Cheese.

Cleaning however, Ford would always be the one to clean. If you even so much as pick up a cleaning supply, he would yank it out of your hand and do whatever you were going to do. The only cleaning he would let you do is the dusting. Ford has a dust allergy and will start sneezing uncontrollably. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Even though Ford would hate to do it, if it was necessary it would have to be done.

Ford would probably bring you flowers or chocolate or a stuffed animal of your favourite animal as a goodbye present.

After telling you the bad news, he would most likely just burst into tears and try to get away from you, because it would hurt him too much.

If there was a way to get into a long distance relationship with Ford, he would literally jump at the chance.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Ford doesn’t trust people very easily (obviously, with Stanley and Bill)

He would take a while to propose and commit to marriage, again because of his trust issues

Once it happens however, there is zero going back (unless it absolutely HAS to happen)

Ford would do a small proposal, probably in front of the portal for a cool sciencey aesthetic.

He would probably bring you down there after a fancy candlelit dinner (most likely at greasys diner, which he funded to get it fixed up and made a little more romantic for your guys special night)

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Ford can look quite intimidating, with the weapon almost constantly strapped to him and all, but if you get to know him and grow close to him, he would become really soft and cuddly and overall tenderhearted.

Before you got to know him, Ford would be quite hard emotionally, and wouldn’t like physical contact, and he would also be quite tough and rude, maybe even a bit violent if you rile him up (like he is with most people he doesn’t know). Once you get to know him however, he becomes quite soft with his emotions and get flustered quite easily.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Ford is a sucker for hugs, you hug him and he pretty much melts into your arms (unless he’s quite busy).

Ford tries to hug you as often as possible, wether it be while you’re cooking and hugging from behind, or just a quick hug while he’s working, Ford takes every chance he can for a hug.

Fords hugs are amazing. Since he’s quite strong, (spending 30 years travelling through dimensions and fighting monsters does that to a person) and tall, he has an obsession with picking you up while you guys are hugging, and spinning you in a circle and most likely ending it with a kiss. 

When hugging, Ford likes to drag them on quite a long time, unless of course he’s busy.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

As said earlier, Ford has severe trust issues and anxiety, and will need to get his trust up to be able to say verbally that he loves you. 

The first time Ford said it was in college (Backupsmore), in your shared dorm after getting a little tipsy. You were lying in bed holding each other close and kissing each other wherever you could reach. You kissed him, and a sleepy Ford whispered “I love you.” Then immediately passed out. He acted like he forgot the next morning (he definitely remembers). This is a moment that you hold dear to your heart, and being able to hear those words again while Ford was in the portal was pretty much the only thing keeping you going. (Damn that got dark- also lil’ mini fanfic)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Ford doesn’t get jealous easily, but he can if:

Somebody flirts with you. (If the persons drunk or not, Ford would come over and roast the shit outta whoever it is.)

But yeah, Ford doesn’t get jealous very often.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Fords kisses are amazing. They’re so good you could easily kiss him forever with no breaks

His kisses vary from really rough (with tongue and teeth) to just a soft peck on your cheek or forehead

Ford could spend at least a day just listing his favourite places to kiss you (everywhere) and why, but here are his personal favourites (in no particular order) :

Lips (obviously). He thinks your lips are super soft, no matter how little lip balm/chapstick you use

Forehead. He likes giving you forehead kisses because they’re quick and he’s tall, so your forehead is easily accessible for his lips

Hands. He loves hand kisses, because there’s so many places on your hands he can kiss. There’s the knuckles, palm, the back of your hand, the list goes on.

Stomach. This is rare, but when you two are cuddling (him on top of you), he loves lifting your shirt up just a bit to kiss your stomach area.

Ford likes receiving kisses just as much as he gives them, since they make him feel loved and cared for.

He loves to get kissed mostly on his face. Like lips, cheek, forehead, jawline and neck. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Let’s just say, Ford is indifferent about children. He loves them (especially if they’re his) sure, but he thinks kids are just so much work and get in the way of his concentration and scientific discoveries. Especially babies and toddlers. 

If you two were to have kids, he would still love them unconditionally, but he would most likely end up ignoring them, and leaving all the parenting for you to do. He doesn’t mean to hurt either of you if he does this, and it’s always partially or mostly an accident.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings with Ford are usually rushed, since the both of you would have work to do you.

He still tries to cherish mornings though.

If he wakes up before you, then he likes to sit and watch you sleep (not in a creepy way).

He WILL NOT get out of bed until the both of you are awake, just because he likes spending as much time with you as possible.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights with Ford vary from stressful/chaotic to calm and relaxed.

Stressful nights are the nights that he’s working a lot, meaning that you’ll probably have to go to sleep hugging a pillow or go and physically drag him away from his work. The latter will be hard, the man’s heavy and determined to work.

Calm nights with Ford are the ones you both cherish the most, since they’re not very frequent, because he’s always busy.

On calm/relaxed nights, the two of you just cuddle and savour the time with each other.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

As said many times, Ford has horrible trust issues, and will not tell anyone anything personal about his life until he trusts them. Not even his last name.

If you are close to him and he trusts you, then he will start opening up about things slowly. Very slowly.

It took him months to prepare himself to tell you about Bill, and most of that time he worried about what you might say about him or think of him.

When Ford is hiding something, he becomes distant and only gives vague answers in response to questions.

It’s very obvious to you when Ford is hiding something because of this.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Fords patience levels are quite high actually, being a scientist and all.

He does easily snap though, if someones pushed him too far. 

It’s very rare he snaps at you, since he loves you and is aware of triggers and past trauma that you may have. He mostly just yells and snaps at his brother, because of too many reasons to list in a singular post.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Since Ford’s a busy man, so he doesn’t remember every single little thing you tell him, sadly.

He does however, remember the important things, like your birthday or your favourite of something (food, drink, song, place, etc.)

Since he can’t remember much, don’t question it if he writes in a little notebook while you talk to him about something.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

Ford cannot choose a favourite moment in your relationship. There’s just too many! But if he had to pick, these would be his favourites:

He loves the time you told him about your feelings and he told you about his, and you shared your first kiss on the half finished Stan’O’War. (Stanley ruined the moment by going “ewwww” though.)

Ford actually holds one moment in his heart and thinks about it every day:

When, after 30 years of not seeing each other, you kissed him, and held him and cried happy tears onto his shoulder.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Although Ford is very scared of losing you, he doesn’t protect you all that much. The only things he really protects you from are Bill, and how dangerous Bill can be when in his mind.

He would protect you any way he can, at one point he even considered you getting a metal plate installed in your head just to protect you.

Ford doesn’t feel like he needs protection exactly, only support and love from family and friends. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

It really depends on the task if Ford actually puts effort into it.

When it comes to dates with Ford, it’s usually just a nice meal he’s had help with cooking, and then watching your favourite movie or show.

Your anniversary is usually the same sort of thing, but he really splurges with a gift. It’s usually your favourite flowers or chocolate or a plushie.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Ford has a few bad habits. Some of the more notable ones are:

Overworking himself. This one is the most common of all of his bad habits.

Not taking care of himself/ignoring his basic needs. Usually when Ford’s working, he will forget to eat, sleep, drink water, shower and even use the toilet. You will have to remind him to do these things, or else he will die. Man’s like a sim sometimes honestly.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

If you think this man would be concerned with how he looks on a daily basis, think again. (He literally uses fire to shave, what did you expect?)

If you two were to go on a date or something important however, he takes a little more time than usual to get ready.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

The easy answer to this is yes, Ford does feel incomplete without you around.

He would and has admitted this before when you asked him why he was so desperate for cuddles one night.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Now I know this isn’t exactly a headcanon for Ford specifically, but this extra space will be for what the Pines and others think about you and Fords relationship.

Stanley

Now Stanley’s opinion on his brothers romantic life isn’t really that bad. In actual fact, Stanley could care less about Ford’s love life. The only thing he dislikes about it is the fact that his nerdy six-fingered brother gets the girls, and not him, the ‘cooler’ one.

Dipper

Dipper doesn’t really care about you guys being together, as long as it doesn’t get too much in the way of science. He does like you though, because you guys can rock out to Icelandic Pop Sensation BABBA together, and there’s also one more person to play D&D& More D with.

Mabel

Now (as everyone knows), Mabel is a shipper. Mabel is obsessed with the fact that her great uncle Ford is in a relationship, because of many reasons. She has someone to go to relationship advice for, she has someone she can organise dates for and she has someone to just obsess over and ship. (She’s maybe too obsessed, sometimes.)

Soos and Wendy

I put these two together because they have very similar opinions on the relationship. The opinion is: they really don’t mind that you two are together. Of course, Soos is excited and happy for Ford and you, and Wendy just likes it because she gets ‘a cool new old person friend’, but neither don’t think it impacts them that much.

Fiddleford McGucket

Fiddleford is actually very happy for the two of you, and has been since college. He’s happy that you two have been together for so long (unlike him and his wife), and calls it true love. He was Ford’s best man at the wedding that happened after college. (It wasn’t Stanley because, well you know, the Highschool Science Project Incident.)

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Ford will accept you for whoever you are, wether you’re bubbly, bouncy and easily excited, or dark, quiet and withdrawn, (or literally anything else) he will love and respect you. There’s only one type of person he wouldn’t date, and that is a bully. Someone who makes fun of others just because they can. Someone like the Sibling Brothers (from the Lost Legends book), or Crampelter and his friends.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

No. Just no.

Man doesn’t sleep, like at all, and he’s a very light sleeper anyway.

If you were actually to get him to sleep, I think you deserve an award. 

Ford always only sleeps 4 hours maximum at a time, and constantly has nightmares that he wakes up from. 

He also struggles to actually get to sleep (or get back to sleep) in the first place.