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eyedove · 2 years

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ahhh, and for a moment, things were still!! except not really, because the problem was still happening all around me and i wanted an excuse to get the fuck outta there.

and then i went to feed the rats their dinner and behold! three come to the bowl!

problem is i have four rats!

me talking about how much he meant to me below the cut.

so i went a hunting and yeah. my poor skrunkly. down at the bottom of the cage. curled up. none of his brothers had gotten to him and started to clean him up yet, so he was fully there. he looked so handsome. hes always been a very handsome boy.

i hung out with him for a while, just like i did last night. just like last night, once i had his favorite blankie, he climbed right into my arms and was happy to be cuddled right up to my chest to stay warm.

last night we sat at the computer for hours watching jerma and snuggling. he was sleepy at first, but once he got a good nap in, he was ready to run around and explore. he looked at all my toys on my desktop. he hid under all my laundry. he crawled into my blankets on my bed. he ran around on the floor, sniffing everything he could, and then, when he found a nice dark warm spot by the heat vent, he went still, totally relaxed, and started to fall asleep.

i went up to him with his blankie and wrapped him up and started to pet him. he was so calm. a year ago, he didn't like anybody in the world touching him. no humans allowed. he would fight any human who came close to touching his brothers. if the cat got her nose too close to the cage, he would snap and bite. he was not socialized properly when he was raised, and he was shipped to us in an inhumane manner. it was the middle of summer and he was in a carrier too small for four rats to fit into comfortably, and he was put in the trunk of a hot car. he was traumatized and afraid of humans.

slowly i started getting him used to me opening the cage door. then me leaving him snacks on the floor. then me getting him to eat them out of my hand. then getting him to lick liquid food off my fingers. then him letting me pet him, but only on the forehead and chin.

then he got sick. he could only eat baby food and formula, or crunchies that had been broken down into tiny pieces. but he was such a fucking champ about it. he started to get excited about seeing me when i came with his painkillers and his snacks that were special for him. he would meet me on a different floor of his house than his brothers so he could have his special snack without them stealing it from him.

he started holding my hand. if i handed him a treat, he would eat it, but he'd keep a tiny, tiny hand on my finger and hold it until he was done. he started refusing to eat out of a dish - he only wanted it if i was giving it to him on my fingers or if i was holding a cup full of it for him. he started crawling on my shoulders and my arms and my head and riding around with me.

i remember the first time we took a shower was because he was getting too old to clean himself, so i brought him to the bathroom, cranked the heat, and bathed him in warm water in the sink. he cleaned himself and then wanted to explore the whole bathroom, so i picked him up - something he never wouldve let me do six months before that - and showed him everything there was to see in the bathroom.

then, last night, i took him in my room. my parents were fighting. i really, really, really wanted an excuse - any excuse - to leave and shut myself in my room. benji crawled into my lap. i dont think he knew, but he helped me so much. i have so much shitty ptsd that sends me into panic attacks when there's a noise somewhere in the house i dont recognize, or if someone says something far away and i cant quite make out what it is. and me, terrified, is sitting there, and he squirms into my lap and hides in my shirt and falls asleep.

so i pick him up and take him to my room. we relax. we watched jerma. he ran around. he got tired. i cupped him in my hands with his blankie around him. i rubbed him and pet him and told him he was a little warrior. a little protector. he always from day one has protected his brothers so fiercely from everyone around him. i told him i was so, so, so honored that he chose me to be friends with. i told him that his friendship meant so much to me. i told him that earning his friendship was one of the most fulfilling things ive ever done. i told him that all my rats have taught me things, and that hes taught me that i can change. eventually. some time. it doesnt have to be now. it doesnt have to be ten, twenty, forty years from now. but i can change. i can make friends who just like me for me, and not even the me that i pretend to be to get those friends. because it never, ever, ever felt like a chore to take care of him. i told him that he was my little boy, and i love him so much. he fell asleep in my hands, so i picked him up and brought him back to his cage - the house was silent by then, everyone having gone to their separate rooms and gone to sleep. me and benji were the only ones left. me and benji spent our time that the rest of the world, even his brothers, spent sleeping, making each other feel needed and wanted. like we were part of something together, that was just us. just me and benji.

i set him in his cage last night and i told him good night. i will see you in the morning, baby. have a good nap with your brothers. and he woke up - he woke up, he looked around, realized he was back at home, and yawned, and crawled into his box with his brothers to snuggle up and sleep. it's been so cold. they all slept together warm and cozy.

im so glad i had that last night with him. im so glad i got to say everything i wanted to to him. im so glad that in the fucking mind-boggling long time that humans and rats have existed, and how ridiculously many rats and humans are on this planet at any given time, that he was my boy. out of all of them, he was my boy. he is still my boy.

#animal death #pet death #vent #but also just. a history of benji's life #because i think its beautiful

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omegawolverine · 4 years

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I love it when people talk about things they're passionate about, tell me something cool!! Anything you want, just something you find interesting or want to talk about :D

hello anon my beloved, I am in a bad mood so you will be receiving a passionate, yet lowkey of pissy rant about why villainizing bakugou makes me wanna vomit and its NOT just because I'm a dumbass kinnie :)

tws: child abuse (emotional and physical), near death expierences, bullying, kidnapping, suffocation, lots of trauma in general tbh. if you've seen bnha then basically just keep all the general triggering plot stuff in mind incase i missed any warnings

also, note: I havent caught up on bnha in a minute, I'm at like the start of the war arc but I barely remember shit there tbh so like. probs missing new stuff. also bnha spoiler warnings lol

so, for starters, the homie bakugou has like,, a good handful of issues that come from his childhood that explain why he's an ass. he was always praised and never actually reprimanded for being a twat which led to him having a huge ego that ended up fucking him over majorly. this ego was something that his mother acknowledged him having, but literally didnt try to fix it with anything other than violence. see here:

like, instead of trying to help him, she hits and insults him, which is probably what led to his weird inferiority/superiority complex. being constantly told by others that you're outstanding and one day you'll be a top hero because you're rude and aggressive and then going home and being hit by your mother for those exact same behaviors is bound to fucking confuse a child.

so like, now that we've established that its definetly canon that his mother (parents? I think he said parents at some point but masaru doesn't seem like the type so 🤷) hits him though we don't know how much or how often (though if bakugou was as much of a little shit back then ((which as far as we've seen- he was)) then it was probably often), lets talk about how regardless of all that 1) hitting your kids as "discipline" not only doesn't work but is abusive lol like idc if it's spanking/popping them on the mouth for talking shit, slapping them across the face "on occasion", etc. shits not okay 2) hitting your kids!!!! does not work!!!!!!!! it is literally PROVEN not to work!!!!!!!! hitting a child who has done something wrong doesnt teach them to stop doing something it teaches them to be scared of you, which will cause the child to withdraw, removing part of their support system (assuming said abusive parents would even offer that up) and will most likely lead to them thinking they're a bad person, not that their actions were bad, which are two different things. so, ya know, that would clearly have an effect on a kid. like, as someone with a mother who reminds me all too much of mitsuki: I have acted like a complete shitbag and taken my anger out on people to feel better in the past because of the way my mother treated me. though it was nowhere near what bakugou did, I still know first fucking hand what a mother hitting and insulting her child will do, especially if they have no proper outlet for that (friends, a safe place to vent) which bakugou never fucking had.

theres also the fact that just talking to your kid the way mitsuki does (saying it's his fault he was kidnapped because he's weak, all while hitting him) is not??? okay?????? ive seen people arguing that this was just a joke in poor taste but like her son was KIDNAPPED and even if it was a "joke" there's literally NO WAY that would EVER?? BE FUNNY??????? she just sounds like the kind of parent who at the very least says shit without thinking that would traumatize bakugou (because being told right after being kidnapped it's your fucking fault by your mother is absolutely traumatizing) but it comes across as her being emotionally abusive.

mitsukis character as a whole comes across as a shitty mom who doesn't realize she's a shitty mom and thinks bakugou being an ass isn't at least partially her fault even though she's admitted to realizing he has always had an ego problem and doing nothing to fix it except for hitting and yelling which obviously did nothing but make him just as loud and violent as she is.

this is obviously not the entire reason why he's a dick but he was never properly taught that the shit he was doing wasn't okay and people not stopping it and/or praising him endlessly even tho he was a bully is basically the same as encouraging it, thank you very much.

moving on from that, let's talk about bakugous other traumas and how he naturally responds to them. hint: it's with either full blown panic or a fight response (verbal or physical, though usually physical. also sometimes it's the panic followed by the fight response.)

so far in bnha (keep in mind that I am not caught up, I've only read up to the beginning of the war arc and i barely remember those bits so) bakugou has...

nearly died via sludge villain (he was unable to move and was being suffocated to death- keep this in mind)

lost for the first time ever and against deku of all people (this nearly sent him into a full blown panic attack, likely because of that sexy little inferiority/superiority complex combo. think of this as like. gifted kid burnout lite. he has always been the best of the best and now suddenly he is being beaten by somebody who has always been weaker than him, which immediately makes him start thinking he was never actually that good, he's actually a fucking failure, a goddamn fraud)

won the sports festival by default (bakugou counts this as yet another failure because todoroki didnt try his best. had bakugou lost to todoroki full strength, he would've taken 2nd place with a bit of bitching, but he still wouldve taken it rather than refuse the medal as it would be a reminder that he failed. instead of accepting that like UA shouldve, the staff chained and muzzled him on live television and then had all might, his fucking idol, force the medal into his mouth. remember the sludge villain incident and how he couldnt move and was suffocating to death? yeah.)

been kidnapped because of the way he reacted to winning during the sports festival (he was aggressive and tried to refuse the medal because he felt he didnt deserve it and was then retraumatized by being chained up and muzzled. his "villainous attitude" was a fucking trauma response, do not tell me otherwise)

was then chained up once again by the LOV after being kidnapped,,, do we see the "retraumatize bkg" theme yet?

"ended all might" (he literally blames himself for all mights retirement because had he just not have been weak, all might wouldve had more time, right?)

my point with all of these is that bakugou has been severely traumatized and has then had his trauma responses (aggression, fight) used to further demonize him. not all people with trauma react the fucking same and the way the fandom just refuses to acknowledge anger as a valid form of trauma response is gross as hell.

moving away from that topic, bakugou has literally never had any actual friends, they all just used him and didn't care about him which absolutely will fuck up a kid, especially one who already has all that other shit going on. bakugou deadass never had a support system or people to help him grow as a person, let alone properly work through his fucking emotions so it's not surprising that he would take out his bullshit on the one person who tried to help him especially considering he saw dekus actions as him thinking he was weak. bakugou was raised to not seek help, he thought somebody strong shouldnt ever need it, so for somebody like deku (who bakugou percieved as weak and helpless already) to offer up help? deku must obviously think bakugou is even weaker than him, what other explanation could their possibly be!

speaking of which, there's his heaps of insecurities that he basically hid by being a twat and bullying others for most of his life. kid was so insecure he bullied deku for fucking years cause he thought deku looked down on him, thought he was better than him, etc. and that only got worse bc his idol then decided to take deku in, train him and even give him his quirk. there's probably some shit im missing but still he's got issues and always has had issues. that being said, he's actually improving and working them out now which is what makes him a really good, interesting character. it's also nice to see a character who is a dick without some tragic backstory (like his backstory is sad but its not the classic "my family was fucking slaughtered and i turned into a raging bitch who murders people" type shit) bc that rarely happens and it's like most assholes don't actually have a story like that they're just assholes lol

now lets talk improvement! lil bitch has been getting better since he got into UA and im so happy abt it!! he had a rough start what with deku suddenly having a quirk and all but like he is really improving now and it highkey shows that bakugou just mostly needed people who 1) didn't constantly praise him and actually criticized him instead 2) actually fucking punished him doing stupid shit and 3) some motherfucking friends

Since going to UA he's gotten actually feedback from teachers about his weaknesses and how to get stronger, he's lost against others, hes been told he has a shit attitude and is a dick, told he should be nicer and leave deku alone, etc etc. He hasn't gotten in trouble too much with teachers but others give him shit for what he does and aizawa has punished him too, while still acknowledging that bakugou is an amazing and dedicated student, something which no one else had done up til that point. and uh???? homie actually has friends who like,,, don't use him and also call him out when he's a dick. like specifically kirishima has done this shit and him and bakugous relationship is clearly very healthy and beneficial for the both of them. makes me feel all happy n shit, ya know

bottom line is: while it is absolutely valid to dislike or even hate bakugou because he is a massively flawed person who has been very cruel to others, villainizing him for the way he acts which in large part seems to be from a lack of guidance, a shitty mother and heavy amounts of trauma, is fucking awful. his actions cannot be fucking excused, he needs to apologize and continue to grow, but he is also a fucking teenager, who is just now being told that the way he acts is unacceptable by people who dont fucking abuse him (and I swear to god if any people who think mitsuki isnt abusive interact with this fucking post I will fullstop hardblock you, I do not fucking care) and actually treat him like a normal person instead of some prodigy child or someone who needs to be fixed.

people are free to debate my points or whatever bc I know some of this stuff is up to interpretation but like. dni if you're just here to say you hate bakugou for xyz reason or that he's irredeemable. also especially dni if you compare him to fucking endeavor yall bitches make me gag.

anyways thxs for the ask anon <33 sorry this is a kinda messy info dump lol

#shit self #asks #boku no hero academia #long post #bakugou katsuki #yes i am a bakugou kinnie shut the fuck up /lh #this is all /nm btw its just so much easier to make my long posts aggressive yk #this is just how i talk irl but Better Formatted #info dump #kinz #anti mitsuki #discourse #bangerz

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astroninaaa · 3 years

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i have been reading fics again - a hazard to society, i know - and i would love your opinion on something: let’s say, theoretically, you took c!tubbo out of the plot (e.g running away or smth) after the festival. what would be different?

- msfrn

msfrn i saw this today when i checked my notifs briefly like 12 hours ago and i have thought about this all day you have no idea. i'm adding a read more i have so much to say

/rp

taking tubbo out, specially from an event that happened so early in the story like that (i knowww it's not THAT early but it's still early so much stuff happened after that come on), would literally, in my opinion, change the entire course of the smp.

i have thought about this from a very specific point but i'm gonna elaborate on that point in a bit. for one, i think there's 4 ways tubbo could've been taken out of the plot after the festival:

1. tubbo runs away with tommy

2. tubbo leaves without anyone knowing

3. tubbo runs away and tommy stays, but tommy is aware of it (the one i'll be elaborating on!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

4. tubbo just straight up fucking dies. the life he lost at the festival was his last one. bye bye bee boy.

for number 1: that would change,,,,,, so much. like. would pogtopia even win the war? who would've become the president? would l'manburg survive without them? everything would go so terribly wrong. i don't think this would happen though because i don't believe tommy would give up on the discs like that, and tommy didn't have the discs immediately after the festival. there could maybe be a plotline where tommy comes back from the discs but mmmmmm i don't think tubbo would want to be involved in that unless he really needed to. so no

for number 2: very unlikely as well. if tubbo left on his own accord i doubt he'd do it without telling tommy first. if he did tommy would definitely also leave to look for him, and that would also affect the war and get us to the same questions from the previous option. another possibility for this would be tubbo just being exiled somehow but that wouldn't make sense in that point of the story, so no.

number 3: that's the one i'm gonna elaborate on so give me a sec <3

number 4: pogtopia would crumble. tommy would never forgive neither techno nor wilbur. i believe tommy would leave pogtopia (not necessarily join manburg, just maybe create a third independent party or smth idk), and that would mean quackity would probably never join them. on another note, it mightve made more people turn against manburg, so who knows.

anyways. now we get to what i want to talk about. to the thing ive been thinking about. okay

if tubbo just fucking left. because he wanted to. if he decided yeah this is too much i'm gonna fuck off into the woods or something. tommy bye bye! please don't come look for me. i don't want to be involved in any of this anymore, i just want to vibe. and then fucking left to live in a village somewhere far away from everyone, and never came back, and everyone just vibed with that? this is what i'm going off. that's the option i'm working with, okay? okay

considering pogtopia goes in the same way. considering pogtopia still wins the war. tommy is made president. tommy makes wilbur president. wilbur makes who president?

either fundy or niki, i think. that's the first big change. i bet more on fundy, honestly, so i'm gonna use that, but anyway. fundy is president. wilbur blows everything up. for one, rebuilding wouldve taken a lot longer, because tubbo was responsible for so much of rebuilding. so. crater country a bit early in the story <3 but that could also be a starting point for some poetic lore with wilbur's crater and the country trying to thrive around or inside it- which is cool.

let's say everything still goes the same. tommy commits a bit of arson with new guy ranboo. dream wants him to get exiled.

fundy wouldn't. i don't think any other character would've taken the decision tubbo did with that, because no other character is as rational as tubbo. which means there would probably be another war really early on, with dream building up the obsidian walls and just. a lot of fighting really. he might not even take them off for the first time like he did in the original story, bc i don't believe they couldve gotten to the beginnings of a compromise like they did without tubbo.

philza would probably find a way to leave to go and live with techno. everyone still in l'manburg would turn on fundy for letting this happen. maybe they would even take one of his canon lives. the l'manburg people would maybe try to fight back and one thing i can see happening is sapnap turning against dream and joining the people in l'manburg- since quackity would also probably be hurt by dream in this scenario. characters like puffy and ranboo would've been forced into war without actually believing in the cause, because 1. puffy hasn't been there long enough to care for l'manburg or for the citizens within it 2. the only thing that actually made ranboo care for l'manburg was his relations to tubbo, and tubbo isn't there.

tubbo not being there changes everything from plot points (because a lot of things wouldve never happened without him) to character dynamics. maybe tommy and ranboo wouldve been closer, then, since tommy wouldn't have been exiled, but maybe ranboo's lack of attachment to l'manburg would push them so far apart that they would barely consider each other friends. would philza still be around enough to become friends with ranboo and bring him into the arctic? would ranboo ever meet technoblade? would quackity ever build el rapids and later on las nevadas, would he even leave l'manburg without tubbo being there to take care of it?

would fundy crumble under the weight of it all? even if it wasn't him, if it was any other character, would they be able to carry l'manburg the way tubbo did? i honestly don't think so. would them be easier to manipulate than tubbo was, easier to convince? would them be less careful, less overprepared, less smart?

jack manifold would have nowhere to go. he would probably never even hate tommy, they'd fight side by side. when l'manburg eventually gets destroyed in this hipothetical war with dream, he has no one to invite him to snowchester. there's no snowchester.

basically- i think everything would've gone in a very, very different way. if it would've been better or not,,,,, is a whole another discussion, but it definitely would've been different lmao!!!!!!

do i want to write about tubbo vibing at a village in the middle of nowhere now? maybe. maybe i do

#msfrn anon #dsmp au #dsmp meta #kinda #dream smp #tubbo #c!tubbo #long post lmao #i love this idea actually #everyone should send me au ideas so i can elaborate on them <3

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fairyscribbles · 6 years

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No More Running. (D.O, Romantic Confession)

By the way my loves, no need to worry about me! I decided to clean my folder and I found a lot of stories that I haven’t posted on tumblr yet, and I am pretty proud of them! So these are things that were written a while ago, but you get to see now! <3

You pushed your feet to go faster, feeling the strain in your muscles as you sped down the dark alleyway. You muted out the gruff yells that were behind you and your mind was only set on one thing- escaping the situation you’ve gotten yourself into.

You haven’t done anything wrong. You were innocent, and yet it was you who ended up being chased again.

You knew very well who was following you. And you knew they were toying with you. If they would’ve wanted, the vampires would have already ripped your jugular out.

They weren’t doing this for hunger. Oh no, the reason was far more personal than an innocent feeding.

This was an act of revenge, an eye for an eye. But they had the wrong person. You weren’t supposed to be executed for this reason.

You sharply turned left, almost losing your footing as you slammed into the side of the building. You could faintly register the burning on your arm as it scratched against the building, willing yourself to go faster.

This was all just a big mistake. They weren’t supposed to go after you. You weren’t the one closest to Do Kyungsoo, the werewolf they wanted to hurt the most.

Kyungsoo made sure you knew that well.

“Look…” he started, pausing after muttering your name. His eyes were set on the ground.

“This isn’t because of you…”

“Oh, of course not. It’s never me, it’s always you.” You cut him off, your hands balled into fists at your sides. He tried to open his mouth to protest, but you didn’t let him.

“At first, it was about you being different. When I showed you I had absolutely no problem with you being a werewolf, you changed the story to the “enormous” age gap problem.” You stated, crooking your fingers in the air in imaginative quote marks. Kyungsoo’s full lips pursed in a thin line, his brows furrowed.

“Even when I said that three years aren’t that bad, you’ve apparently come up with another one.” Crossing your arms on your chest, you glared at him.

“Let’s hear it, then.” He started out with your name again, and no matter how much you loved hearing it rolling off his lips, you willed yourself not to be affected by it.

“I cannot…I’m too dangerous for you.”

“Oh, that is rich.” You scoffed and Kyungsoo showed his distaste of interrupting him by growling deep in his chest. Sometimes, you forget that Kyungsoo is really a dangerous being, but no one could blame you- he is always so gentle and nice, it isn’t hard to let your mind slip with that little fact that he is able to transform into a great beast.

You pursed your lips, holding in all the other snarky comments until he is finished.

“I’m too dangerous. After all these years, I’ve made too many enemies. They could hurt you to get to me. And the biggest enemy is right in this room.” You lifted your eyebrow in question and Kyungsoo pointed at his chest.

“It’s me. I could hurt you so easily…” he muttered almost to himself, as he lifted his hand and his thumb brushed gently over your cheek. It took all you had not to lean into his touch, as you stared into his eyes, which seemed to be torn by uncertainty.

“Just with a flick of my wrist, I could break you bones…”

“You don’t have to flick anything but your tongue, to let those words out and break my heart.” You added, your voice lowering to his whisper. Pain flashed through his eyes and to your dismay, his hand retreated from your skin. He was already taking steps back, away from you.

“I’m sorry, I can’t…I can’t risk it. I’m so sorry.”

You would’ve cried, but you didn’t have the energy anymore. Sadly, you were so used to Kyungsoo walking out on you; it didn’t hurt as much as the last time.

You loved him, and you were sure he loved you back. The fact that after every single time he left, he returned to you made you realize that he was unable to be without you.

Do Kyungsoo’s machinations of his mind were an enigma, you decided, as you stared at the closed door, a thought crept in your head that it might’ve been a metaphor about Kyungsoo.

The closed door might be a metaphor on your relationship with Kyungsoo.

You were left all alone.

And alone, you had to face the two bloodthirsty vampires at your heels. You felt that your muscles started to scream in pain, but you couldn’t allow yourself to slow down. Slowing down mean certain death.

“Think fast, wolf bait!” a crystal clear voice called out behind you and not a second later, a sharp rock came in contact with your scalp. With a yelp, you stumbled but kept your balance. Your head throbbed, and that pain seemed to break down the numbness your brain created when they started chasing you.

You were being chased by vampires. And your only hope, the only one that could save you, turned his back on you.

That didn’t stop you from calling for help.

“Help…” the only word whimpered through your lips and the vile creatures behind you cackled.

“No one will come, sweetie. Stop running and we’ll make it quick.”

I don’t want to make it quick. I want to live, you wanted to tell the vampires, but you knew it would be useless.

“Please, help!” your voice grew louder as you took another turn. You noticed your grave mistake too late, that you ran into a dark alley, that was most probably cut off by some obstacle. Your fears came true, as a metal fence started rising above you and soon enough, you collided into it, hoping it would topple over.

Not happening. The fence stood there long before you and it probably will continue standing proud long after you’re gone.

You searched for a weapon of any kind- you were positive that you wouldn’t find any silver in the abandoned alleyway, so you settled for a broken vodka bottle. You clenched it by the throat, facing the predators with shaky legs.

“Leave me alone.” You tried to make your voice firm, but it cracked to a plea in the middle of the sentence, making the vampires laugh.

“We can’t do that, honey. There’s no escape. I’m sorry.” The monster replied and as if his speech triggered your reflex, your legs set off running again.

You didn’t get far though, as an arm shot up to meet you, sending you flying back to the fence. With a cry, you tried to catch your breath, your eyes glazing over with tears.

“Kyungsoo…” his name escaped your lips and your attacker grinned.

“Yes, thank him for killing you.”

“Kyungsoo, help me…” you were far too gone with fear, trying to back up even further into the fence when the vampire started approaching you.

“No! Stay back! Please!”

“So loud…” the other one growled, slapping you across the cheek. The sole impact had you losing your balance as you fell on the ground, knocking your head on some rubbish. Sobbing, you tried to crawl away from your death, into the corner of the building and the fence.

“Please, no!” you cried again, when you felt an iron grip on your ankle yank you away from your haven.

“Shut up already!”

“Say your prayers, flower.” The first one finally said, lifting his arm to strike you again, but this time, you were sure it would be the last.

“Kyungsoo!” you shrieked, your eyes closing and awaiting the impact.

A growl cut through the air and soon enough, ripping and yells reached your ears, before you covered them, cutting them off.

You wanted out. This was just a horrible nightmare, you wanted out, to wake up. Or if it had to be real life, you just wanted to die, to finally have it over with and to die in peace. Oh god, that was the only thing you wanted, just to get out…

Your ranting was interrupted by a familiar voice calling your name. At first, you thought it was just your mind playing tricks, but when big hands covered yours, gently prying them off your ears, you heard that concerned voice again.

You opened your eyes and as you stared into Kyungsoo’s worried ones, you couldn’t fight the tears anymore and you broke down, crying.

“Did they hurt you? Hey, ___, talk to me, please.” His hand cupped your chin, tilting you up to meet his gaze again, while his other one gently swiped at the swollen cheek and busted lip that the vampires rewarded you with. His eyes laced with fury, and a growl rumbled off his chest.

“They didn’t bite you, right?” he asked carefully and relief washed over him when you shook your head.

“Did they hurt you anywhere else?”

“You came.” You interrupted his interrogation by throwing your arms around his neck and hugging him tight. You refused to let go of him, your grip around his neck was almost bordering with pain, but either way, one of arms wrapped around your back, bringing you impossibly close, while the other one cradled your head.

“I’m so sorry I came so late. I’m so sorry.” He whispered into your ear, while you proceeded to cry into his neck.

“I was so scared…” you were only able to hiccup through your sobs.

“I know, and I’m so sorry, but it’s all okay now, I’m here…” Kyungsoo started rocking you gently, trying to calm you down.

“But for how long? How long until you’ll leave again?” you’ve managed to form a longer sentence now, your grip automatically tightening when you spoke of him leaving.

“Forever. I’ll never leave you again.” His hand ran through your hair, and when he brought out bloody fingers because of your injury, he gently pushed you away so he could look into your eyes.

“I never wanted you to experience something like this. I thought that if I left you, they would lose interest in you, and yet the only thing I did was make you completely vulnerable.” As he spoke, your eyes cast downwards to look at his shirt. He brought your attention back to his face when he kissed your brow gently and you looked up in surprise.

“I promise to take care of you from now until you’ll want me. I’ll never let anything happen to you again. If someone as much as touches you, I’ll make sure they’ll regret it.” The determination in his eyes told you he was speaking the truth. A moment later, uncertainty crept through the irises.

“That is, if you still want me.” Normally, you would’ve scoffed, but now, you wound your arms around his neck again and nodded into his shoulder.

You could feel as Kyungsoo wrapped one arm under your knees and lifted you into his embrace, as if you weighed nothing.

“Never leave me again, please.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

#kyungsoo #d.o #exo #kyungsoo story #kyungsoo scenario #d.o story #d.o scenario #exo story #exo scenario #werewolf #werewolf story #werewolf au #werewolf scenario

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tigerlilliz · 5 years

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For you, I would- Anthony

Drabble Challenge!

This was was asked by @3pawandme <3 Hope you like it!

Just a little disclaimer that the story features some violence.

I'm still learning tumblr and I dont know how create a link to click away to in order to finish reading the story 😣 So I'm sorry if it appears super long to some people. It's juicy though hehehe

91) Sorry, I'm protective over the things I love.

Desi hadn't left her room since last night. Her eyes were puffy and red from the tears she cried. She sat on the edge of her bed for she dreaded having to go downstairs. Luckily, she had a few minutes to get ready before she would be called to dinner.

With Caesar hosting a special meal tonight for some of the leading men of the legions. That of course means, Antony would be coming as well.

"I cant let him see me like this," Desi murmured, frantically searching through a bag of cosmetics for anything that can conceal. She had made the decision to wear her hair down today. She thought to herself maybe the change in style and a splash of color added to her face would be enough to disguise the fact her lip was swollen.

Everytime Cleopatra angered Caesar, he would find a way to take it out on her. And it seemed like Cleopatra was doing that a lot more lately. She was barely around anymore. There were whispers of the queen being seen leaving the villa with an different men. It was as if she were taunting him. Something was different last night, however, it was the first time he struck her. She thought back to when Sabina spoke of Aquila striking her for giving her attention elsewhere (by writing poetry). For Caesar, however, his rage grew from the fact that Desi didnt appear jealous of his time with spent away from her to be with Cleopatra. He wanted her to miss him and when he asked is she did, she replied, "No. I dont know you well enough to miss you yet." He was so used to people telling him what he wanted to hear that he couldnt accept his advances has yet to win her over too. It happened so quickly, he didnt realize that he hit her. His ring cutting away at her lip. She kept replaying that moment in her head. She couldn't act irrationally for it would ruin all she worked for and possibly ruin her ability to gain information for Antony.

With one more brush of her hair, she exhaled and made her way down the stairs. She smiled sweetly greeting the legates and soldiers who were standing throughout the room awaiting for Caesar to call them to the table. Desi took her seat which was a few spots down from where Caesar's usual seat. If she had to be there, she needed it to be on her terms. He was vain in the sense that he preferred to sit in the middle versus the head so he embellish in the admiration of those all around him.

Caesar entered the room as the men cheered. His hand grazed Desi's shoulders as decided to sit beside her.

"It's about time you came down" Caesar asserted as he ran his hand up her thigh under the table. Desi adjusted her chair in attempt to create some distance between them as Caesar commanded the men to take their seats around him.

Caesar stood up raising his glass before addressing the guests. "Welcome! I am pleased to announce that we are moving forward with our plans regarding the remaining members of the Senate."

He knew to remain vague the details of his plans whilst Desi and the servants were about. At this time, Antony walked in and took his seat at the empty space left directly across from Desi.

"Antony! Your timing is impeccable as always. I was just informing everyone of our decision to finalize the plans we discussed days prior." Antony nodded as he encouraged Caesar to proceed. However, his words became background noise to Antony as noticed Desi's effort to avoid making eye contact with him.

Antony nudged at her leg under the table in an attempt to get her attention. It worked for a moment as he was able to look at her long enough to exchange a smile, but she did not return it. Antony always calculating, noticed her subtle flinch the moment Caesar grabbed onto her shoulder during certain moments of his speech.

Antony was staring harder than ever now almost in a daze. He could hear a strong repetitive sound in his ears as he didnt realize that Caesar was calling his name.

"Antony! Right...Antony?" Caesar repeated as the soldiers all turned towards Antony awaiting his response.

Antony nonchalantly nodded as Caesar continued, "Then Antony is in agreement. We cant let anyone get in our way or know of our plans. For I am Caesar and no one says No to me." Caesar looks beside and and abruptly pulls Desi up by her arm. His grasp was tight enough to leave Mark's on her arm, the table shaking enough to mess up the placement of the silverware and plates across the table. Caesar exclaimed, "Even this former warrior whimpers in front of me and obeys my every command." His hand behind her head, he pulls her to him closer gesturing for her to kiss him.

The men began to holler out, "Hail Caesar! Show us, Caesar." This was only encouraging his behavior further. Anthony silent as the cheers around him only intensified the anger building up inside him. She jerked her head to the side at the last minute forcing Caesar to kiss her ear instead. Infruitated feeling embarrassed but also disrespected in front of the soldiers, with a quick brush of his hand, she smacked Desi who fell to the floor. She looked over at Antony before turning away hiding the tears that ran down her face. It was then that he noticed the swelling as the blow smeared the color on her lips.

Antony jumped to his feet shouting, "That's enough, Caesar!" Antony's voice was commanding and forceful, quickly silencing the commotion occurring in the room.

Caesar turned his attention back to Antony. "This doesnt involve you, Antony. It's best if you know remember your place around me!"

Antony was not afraid of Caesar. Not in the slightest and definitely not today. "Interesting coming from a man who wouldn't have secured Gaul and what's left of Rome without his trust stead. How easily we forget who really leads the legions and appeals to the people."

The soldiers looked at each other in shock as the tension grew around the table. They knew the hand that fed them and the one that fought not only with them, but beside them too. Antony was right, they would follow his orders into the depths if he asked them to.

Caesar and Antony stood staring at each other before Caesar added, "You will regret this stand against me."

Antony laughed to himself as he looked around the table. "I'd be curious to see how far you get in executing your plans without my input and the backing of the legions." He broke his gaze only to look over at Desi who had sat up to her waist partially hesitant on leaving the room and in disbelief of Antonys showmanship towards her.

Antony tone now much softer. "Desi, why dont you head upstairs. You dont need to be here for this." Desi noticed the soldiers who looking at her with sympathy now realizing just how hard Caesar hit her. Desi nodded while slowly picking herself up off the ground as two soldiers ran over to assist her. Their hands patting away at her dress as small pieces of chicken fell to the floor. She just noticed the fall had caused her plate to spill.

"Thanks" she spoke softly to the soldiers. She wrapped her hair behind her ears before exiting the room.

A few soldiers followed suit, dismissing themselves from the table waiting for the next set of instructions from Antony.

Caesar stood quietly as you could see a glimpse of regret wash over his face. Desi had been the one of the few constants in his life since she was gifted by Antony. He was really starting to take to her and it bothered him that he may have actually set himself back with her. She's stood up to him before, she was strong like that, but the way he struck her today, the look on her face, he realized how damaging his power can be. Caesar replied, "Very well. I think we should reconvene in an hour after everyone has had a chance to cool off."

The soldiers returned to the main hall splitting of into small groups where they resumed their previous conversations. Caesar lightly grabbed Antonys arm as he moved to walk passed him. "You know I couldn't have gotten this far without you." Antony paused briefly, saying nothing leaving Caesar at the table. Antony passed through the hall and headed up the steps.

Desi's door was closed, but he had hoped she wouldnt mind if he stepped in. Antony creaked open the door closing it behind him. Desi lie in bed sitting up enough to pat the empty spot beside her. He laid propped up beside her, but deliberately above her sheets. He wanted her thinking he had a different motive for coming to see her.

"I can't..I guess what I mean to say is" Desi scrambled as she was trying to find the words to say. Antony placed his finger over her lips and began to speak, "I apologize for not noticing sooner. And for you to have to see my anger" he sighs , "it's something that I try to shield from from."

Desi placed her hand on his cheek, her eyes memorizing his face in this moment. "I would never ask for you to stand up for me. Especially to someone whose allegiance means so much to you. Im able to fight my own battles, but after he hit me yesterday for not answering the way her wanted. I just didnt have the strength to do it today too. What you did down there, for me, it may not have been your intention to mean as much as it did, but it meant everything. Because you...you are what keeps my world from falling apart."

She noticed a single tear drop from Antony's eye. He turned away as he took her hand into his. "As you are to me, Desi. You were always someone who could fend for herself and, because of that, I didnt worry as much about your time spent here. I wouldve never asked this of you if I knew for a moment he would hurt you. I knew there would be times where you would be placed in danger and I couldnt protect you, but I never imagined... he would I hit you. There are countless ways to assert authority, but not like this and not with you."

Desi laid his head on her chest as she gently stroked his hair, his breathing slowing down to match hers. Desi added, "What if he decides to retaliate against you for standing up to him as you did?

Antony inhaled deeply and replied, "Sorry, but I'm protective over the things I love." He pulled her hand to his lips kissing her fingers softly before lowering it once agian. "And besides. He knows I'm right and what I spoke was the truth. The reason I made it this far with him was because he knew the company he kept with me. He knows he can rely on me to te him the truth about everything whether it be a truth that appealed to him or something he despised. So He couldn't have expected anything different from me today. How could I have looked at you again if I hadn't intervened when I had the opportunity to protect you for once?"

He lifted his head, leaned in, and kissed her softly on her lips mindful of the swelling. She smiled as her tears stopped, the first time in days.

"And that smile right there, I'd fight a hundred men if it meant that smile would never fade again." Antony grabbed the cloth and ice beside him as he placed it over her lip. He held it in place as she rested by his side. Antony didnt mind playing guard as he knew her feeling safe would allow her to finally catch up on rest. He sat with her until she began to dose off her. He covered her with the blanket, kissed her forehead, and quietly closed the door behind him. He had a meeting to run in a few minutes and Caesar expected him to show up by his side. And that's what he would do, with her sleeping knowing he didnt leave her side, he could return downstairs with a clear mind.

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i-am-the-entertainer · 6 years

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RevieWBY: Volume 6

This has been stated so many times, but Volume 5 was bad. Okay, it wasn’t terrible, like I don’t feel offended by it being bad (unlike certain folks), but looking back on it I don’t have anything to say to really defend it as something Rooster Teeth should have talked up as much as they did at the time. It had some good things going for it, but the amount of problems it had in terms of animation and writing really put a sour taste in everyone’s mouth. So for Volume 6 to deal with all that fallout, it was going to have to do a lot. And to their credit, CRWBY accepted the criticism in stride, and actively worked to make Volume 6 something that people who despised Volume 5 might enjoy.

Still, one had to go into this season with the understanding that some people were never going to be completely satisfied with whatever CRWBY did. Because at the end of the day, the RWBY that Rooster Teeth currently makes is not Monty Oum’s show anymore. No, this isn’t saying CRWBY is in any way disrespecting his legacy, it’s just Monty Oum had a certain method to running the show that only he could really get away with: epic fight scenes, suddenly throwing giant curveballs into the series’ mythology, taking vital time away from storytelling so the fights looked cool. I mean, there are people who criticize the show for doing that now when they didn’t give two shits when Monty did it, because Monty did it in a manner that somehow worked. I don’t know how he did it, but he did, and, well, he’s not here to do it, and there’s no way even a huge animation team can collectively do things like him. And they shouldn’t: if they can use a better industry standard animation engine than Poser, than the fact that Monty Oum didn’t like animating with Maya shouldn’t stop them.

Blah blah blah...this is all about FNDM reception. What did I think of Volume 6?

Well...

Focus

In my mid-volume review I cited this as Volume 6′s strongest aspect, and as far as I can tell this remains the case. By focusing our hero storyline on one group and for the most part the villain storylines on only a few characters who were paired off, Volume 6 effectively told a story that didn’t force the viewers to juggle multiple things and find some semblance of a continuing story. Everything happened linearly and the whole thing made for a more enjoyable watch overall.

Tone

Building off of that renewed focus, this volume felt like it had more of a consistent tone that lasted from beginning to end. RWBY markets itself as an anime show and uses a lot of that anime-style of humor (slapstick and comedically exaggerated emotions), but honestly it’s always played fast and loose with using that humor in a way that doesn’t feel out of place. In this volume it was more consistently used, and that’s largely thanks to the nailed down focus that allowed character interactions to utilize the humor in a natural way. Ruby and Maria Calavera were especially good sources for humor.

Now, things did get a little more screwball when Cordovin came into the mix, but it was interesting seeing CRWBY take that humor to a logical extreme for the first time in a while (not since the Beacon years). It interrupted the tone for a bit, but not in a manner that overall changed the genre this show is going for.

Animation

Beautiful. The improved production pipeline that we’ve heard about really came through. These episodes were the best they’ve ever looked, minus a few errors here and there, showing just how amazing RWBY can look when you give the animators time to add their own touches. There was some really great fight animation to boot: none of the fights this volume felt awkward, and you could tell the animators had a lot of fun.

Worldbuilding/Storytelling

It feels weird saying that Volume 6 did a better job with worldbuilding than Volume 4, which took place on four different continents and traveled across one, and Volume 5, which took place on two different continents and featured the second major skirmish between the villains and the heroes. I think this has to do with just how well it was integrated into the story: insight into the world came at points where the story needed it and when the viewers wanted it. Nothing ever felt like a massive info dump better suited World of Remnant; where there was just too much information delivered that wasn’t relevant to what was happening in the show. Volumes 4 and 5 had this same problem with establishing the world, often telling us too much in a way that just didn’t feel natural to the story. With Volume 6, almost every chapter up until the final Argus arc included some form of that insight:

Chapter 1 showed us how ordinary civilians deal with traveling through Grimm territory––the steps they take to protect themselves

Chapter 2 showed us some aspects of the Mistral criminal underground, not telling us too much about it but suggesting it was much larger than what Cinder encountered.

Chapter 3 showed us...so many things.

Chapter 4 offered a sense of the stakes RWBY faced in relation to all of Remnant.

Chapter 5 and 6 gave us a glimpse at another form of non-city life in Remnant.

Chapter 7 introduced us to Argus, my favorite of all the Remnant cities we’ve seen; plus a glimpse into the life of the silver-eyed warriors; and a more representative depiction of what domestic life is like in Remnant

Chapter 8 told us what Atlas personnel who aren’t Ironwood or Winter are like, plus the long-awaited insight into how the silver eyes work.

Chapter 9 shows something of the effect the Battle of Beacon, and by extension Pyrrha’s death, had outside of our core group.

Things kind of teeter off with the finale arc, but that’s because worldbuilding became a little less important to what was going on. This is kind of a stretch, but the mech fight and the arrival of the Grimm in Argus give us an idea of how large non-capital cities defend themselves without just spelling everything out.

All in all, this volume delivered on some impressive worldbuilding, probably the best the series has had in a while. It wasn’t massive info dumps unless it needed to be (e.g. Chapter 3), and it offered just enough for other important things like the storytelling and the action to still be in the forefront.

Characters

Volume 5, despite the fact it involved the major reunion of Team RWBY after two volumes, felt like it was simply putting the main characters through situations without those situations really doing anything to develop them or define them as anything beyond what we already knew. Some characters fared better on the development front, namely Yang, but others, especially Ruby, just seemed to be along for the ride without us getting any insight into them. This is where the writing issue that came from separating everyone starting with Volume 4 really came to a head: too many different characters with their own story to cover, and sometimes those stories just didn’t do much for the character beyond existing as a situation they were in.

Volume 6 feels like the refutal of that, and that mostly has to do with the fact that we’re not juggling so many storylines anymore. When a major event happens to the heroes, everyone gets affected at the same time. The train crashes? DEVELOPMENT! Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT AND INSIGHT! Snowstorm? INSIGHT! The Apathy? DEVELOPMENT! Telling team JNR about Jinn’s story? DEVELOPMENT! Adam ambushes Blake and Yang for the first time since Volume 3? DEVELOPMENT! WITH A HEALTHY DOSAGE OF ANGST!

Surprisingly, the same thing is happening to two of our favorite villains, Mercury and Emerald: even though they only really appeared in three chapters this Volume, we actually got a surprising chance to see how their defeat at the Battle of Haven affected them, and their increasingly strong misgivings about working for Salem. We get more of an idea of them as people rather than Cinder’s blind followers, understanding why they stuck with such an evil person for so long. It’s the most we’ve learned about them since Volume 3, and we didn’t even need lengthy flashbacks.

Even Adam got some more insight. RWBY has been following the path that Adam was an abusive ex-boyfriend for quite a while now, but there was always this underlying thought that he got into the White Fang business for a seemingly noble cause. The problem was the show hadn’t depicted how he got from Point A to Point B. The Adam Character Short offered us some of that much needed insight, putting some of his actions up to this point in a new context, even if it was set-up for clearing up some things so they could get rid of him.

Of course, there are still exceptions to characters getting character development, and honestly they’re kind of glaring ones. Oscar’s development arc, where he came to accept he was his own person, completely happened offscreen (for reasons that I’ve brought up before and will reiterate in the final section), robbing us of really witnessing his growth as a person. I enjoyed some of the stuff Cinder did this volume, especially her escape from the vault and her fight with Neo. But honestly she continues to be a pretty bland villain with little hints at her motivations for being such a terrible person: the Battle of Haven was such an utter defeat for her there needed to be some form of consequence that would’ve affected her character while also telling us more about her. Maybe it would’ve been her strategizing her revenge, which would’ve gotten more insight into how she thinks as a master planner. Instead, we get her leaving the vault, more or less going back to what she used to do but in a more low-key setting, fighting with Neo, plotting with Neo, and leaving with Neo. It felt more like “Hey, she’s alive, and here’s what she’s doing,” which while I appreciate it feels kind of a waste of time if you’re not doing anything with her beyond that. Honestly, a post-credits reveal that she was alive and then a pre-Volume 7 character short detailing how she made it to Atlas that covered her and Neo’s entire storyline this volume would’ve been more helpful.

Before I go on to my most major critique of this volume, I need to address the two Goliaths in the room.

Adam

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: they needed to get rid of Adam. The way things have been going, there was only so much more you could do with his character before he became a nuisance that was overstaying his welcome. I understand people wanted some deeper insight into him, but the fact was he was never introduced to be a major villain to anyone beyond Blake and later Yang. They could’ve had him have a thing against Weiss, but they didn’t, they focused the time that would’ve made him a major villain for everyone else on making people like Roman and Cinder and Salem the big villains. They decided on the path of abusive ex-boyfriend a very long time ago, and if you hadn’t figured that out after the Adam Character Short I honestly think you were being willfully ignorant to what’s been building up.

The best I can say is that Adam and his history is a missed opportunity for some pretty interesting storytelling and worldbuilding, but the fact remains: it is not his story that they want to tell, it is not his show. It may make something interesting to think about, but Adam’s story is supplementary, and works better in supplementary material, a la character shorts and maybe mangas.

Jaune

Y’all need to quit it with the “Hrrr drr Jaune took up time again moan moan Miles Luna is self indulgent” talk, he barely did anything this volume beyond Chapter 9 and having a sister that the whole fandom loved.

Pacing

This...this is where Volume 6 ran into trouble.

Overall, from the season premiere to the finale arc, this was probably the best-paced season of RWBY we’ve ever had. Major story events happened right when we needed them, and for the most part they didn’t drag out story arcs for any longer than they needed to be.

Well...until they reached Argus, that is.

At face value, a lot happened in the final couple of chapters. Chapter 8 gave us Maria explaining the silver eyes, Chapter 9 had the scene with Pyrrha’s statue and the mysterious Red-Haired Woman (I’ll headcanon whatever I want about who she is, Jen Brown) Chapter 10 started the Cordovin fight, Chapter 11 reinforced Blake and Yang’s partnership, Chapter 12 killed Adam, and Chapter 13 had Ruby finally use her silver eye powers to defeat a Grimm and they made it to Atlas. Yeah, it was a pretty eventful set of episodes.

So then why did it feel like it dragged? Here are a couple reasons that I’ve identified.

1. The Cordovin Battle sidelined story arcs for too long

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: the finale arc should not have been split up like that over so many episodes. It afforded us some pretty well-animated fights, some of the best the series has ever had, but the volume hadn’t been relying on that action to keep up the forward momentum, but on actually telling the stories of these characters. I get the need for CRWBY to prove that they can do well-animated fights, but as I’ve come to accept action should never take precedence over storytelling (I know, that’s hard to swallow when parts of the fndm spends hours complaining about how Monty’s not animating the fights anymore). And it’s clear to me in this final arc put emphasis on the action over the momentum of the story, bringing the actually pretty good storytelling the volume had had up to that point to a grinding halt.

Now, historically RWBY fights have delayed telling stories, but it’s never been for too long, at most maybe two chapters? But if you spend three chapters on a single fight, thereby devoting three weeks of your viewers’ time to high-octane action, people are gonna notice that the story is basically going nowhere.

What could’ve made this less of a problem? Well, perhaps establishing Cordovin earlier and making her less of a buffoon would’ve eased my hatred of this arc. Volume 6 lacks a clear antagonist for the story, but the way Cordovin was treated as a big deal in this final battle made it seem like she was taking up that role, except we didn’t even see her until the final half of the volume, and in her debut we couldn’t take her seriously as a villain, much less an antagonist, because of the pure comedy they used in her intro. There needed to be something about her at least a few episodes early––take this with a grain of salt because I think following JNR in Argus would’ve killed the balanced pacing of the first half of the volume (and just made the Jaune haters apoplectic), but maybe a few quick scenes of JNR arriving in Argus and getting rejected by her would’ve been helpful. Or honestly easing off on the comedy of her intro. Such a one-note character who we are primed to not take seriously isn’t interesting as a major force, so identifying her as a more threatening roadblock for the heroes would’ve made the stakes of the final fight a little more...present.

2. Important storylines got trimmed for time’s sake and weren’t addressed properly.

@hypeathon (whose excellent production analyses for this Volume are well worth a read) identified a tweet Miles made back in October, prior to the premiere and most likely when they were finishing storyboards, about “killing your darlings.” For those unaware and who may have severely misinterpreted that comment, “killing your darlings” is when writers have to sacrifice something they love or want to do so that the story works better. The timeliness of this tweet (after they would’ve finished the script but before they’d wrapped on storyboards and voice acting for the final episodes) suggests the writers’ room had to cut a lot of material from Volume 6 (what Miles called a massacre of darlings), most likely due to production limits or not having enough time to cover them.

Think about it: the story from Chapters 1-7 was really good: everything was properly spaced out, the scripts felt polished, there was a balance of action and comedy and legit storytelling, the good pacing lasted longer than it ever has within a single volume.

Then we hit Chapter 8 and suddenly it all changes: storylines don’t get the proper time devoted to them, arcs come to a screeching halt due to the big fight. Unlike previous volumes, where the imbalance was pretty much the entire volume, there’s actually a clear point right in the middle of this volume where things suddenly took a turn for the worse. And the fact is, some of the problems with the story in the final arc suddenly make more sense if you accept that time that would’ve been devoted to it got sidelined in this “purge”: Qrow’s alcoholism suddenly getting brushed aside after Chapter 9 hopefully to be addressed next volume, Oscar disappearing and all his development happening offscreen, Adam’s completely unsubtle return after only a vague hint in Chapter 1 that would’ve been stronger if he’d kept popping up in Argus. I’d even go so far to say the odd pacing of the final few chapters could easily have been the result of the writing team not being able to devote a single chapter to such a grand fight, so they needed to stretch it out so CRWBY could actually animate it within reasonable deadlines, which meant sacrificing time for those arcs that so desperately needed development.

So what overall is gonna fix RWBY’s pacing in the future? Well, I think at the moment the show is too ambitious. If it wants to keep to a reasonable production schedule, they need to control the scale of their finales so that it can be completed without needing to sacrifice other storylines. If it wants to hold onto that ambition and make the finales as grand as they want it to be to do their boy Monty proud, then they absolutely need to delay the actual release of the volume so they can put in the proper amount of time to both the story and animation. And I don’t think anyone would mind waiting a little longer for Volume 7 if it meant this show got the care and attention it needs to tell the story it clearly wants to tell.

Conclusions

Evaluating Volume 6 is impossible without evaluating what came before it. RWBY was never a perfect show, but when you lose someone who was responsible for the show’s popularity in the first place and have to change how it’s made to make up for his absence, there’s going to be backlash. Backlash from the fans, and, uh, backlash from inside the company. The fact is, people are never going to be satisfied with the RWBY that Rooster Teeth makes today, and Rooster Teeth is never going to push out a RWBY that will make everyone happy. All they can really do is keep moving forward.

And move forward they did. Despite my problems with the finale, Volume 6 was good. I’ve always been sort of ambivalent about the show (I was drawn to it by my brother shortly before Monty’s death and have been watching it out of respect for him and the company as creative artists), and even if I thought some of RWBY’s critics were being too harsh (or seriously needed to find something better to do), I didn’t find Volumes 4 and 5 enjoyable enough that I felt like defending them. But guys, Volume 6 did something amazing: it made RWBY fun to watch again. Focused, consistent, and compelling storytelling plus gradually eased-in worldbuilding made for a story that I could follow along without having to juggle so many different plots. Improvements in the overall animation made things nice to look at and when fights happened they were always entertaining, never making me cringe or grimace, always making me think “Hell yeah, beat the shit out of them!” Just like I felt back in the old days of the show.

I feel as though what’s holding RWBY back at this point, however, is adhering to the production schedule that its old vision called for in making its current vision. And it honestly cannot keep doing that. RWBY is a show trying to reach grand heights, and its rushed production timelines and lost story arcs are keeping it tethered to the ground. Yet I can’t help but say: Volume 6 is RWBY at its finest so far. It can’t fix the problems that previous volumes have had, but it builds on the void those problems left to build a story that makes this show feel like something worth following once more.

So, I can safely say I’ll be following along when RWBY returns for Volume 7...hopefully later rather than sooner (again, it needs a better production schedule).

#rwby #rwby6 #reviewby #crtq

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gothic-chicanery · 6 years

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The Diary of Dr. Elena Rosewood

Horror one off story. I’m putting it under a cut

TW for blood, death, and disease

12/14/37

Sent to quarantine, and am currently kicking myself. I tested positive for the disease and the police didn’t listen to my explanations. Now I am without my lab and test instruments, and the data gathered will be strictly qualitative. Damnit.

Of course, this may be a blessing in disguise, as the effects of the vaccine will be able to be seen firsthand, and I’ll have to worry less about my own credibility. Though as a medical doctor who has spent years studying this disease, credibility was never too much of a worry.

I just hope someone takes care of my cats.

No symptoms so far, though that is expected. The incubation period is usually about a week, but this may be altered by the fact that this is a weaker strain that will be easy for my body to fight off. Maybe I will not have any symptoms at all. One can only hope I suppose.

12/16/37

A man leaned into me while I took my daily exercise yesterday, so close that his nose almost touched mine. Dark red sclera showed he was in the later stages of the disease. “We all have it in here,” he growled. “We are all infected.” His breath smelled awful, a mix of metallic and rot, as if someone had shot a deer in a penny factory.

“Yes,” I said slowly. “That is essentially the point of a quarantine.”

I’ve decided to keep mostly to myself from now on.

This story has very little to do with the scientific side of my work, but it is an anecdote that I think would provide quite the cinematic moment when there is a biopic made about me. I mean, the person who discovered a vaccine against the blood plague (though I always hated the sensational nature of that name) will surely get some sort of film recognition.

When I get out, of course, I’ll remove this section. But I believe it is best to be honest to yourself. The rest of the world can get the cool, collected scientist.

Asymptomatic probably still. I thought my sclera looked a little redder, but that may be more easily attributed to confirmation bias or the quality of the mirrors here. It’s a wonder I can see my reflection at all through the graffiti. Wishing I was home. Accurate testing equipment wherefore art thou? My ex, I’m sure, would correct me. Wherefore apparently means why even though it has a where in it. This, ladies and gentlemen, is why you never should date English majors. And they say scientists have sticks up their ass.

12/20/37

Definite redness now. I guess it was too much of a long shot that I wouldn’t end up with anything happening. I can’t decide which looks better, a miraculous recovery, or to never get sick at all. I think this. Looks like I’ve suffered more.

Though of course, this isn’t about me. It’s about all the people that I will be keeping safe from the disease.

12/25/37

Well. Merry Christmas to me. I’m Rudolph the Red-Eyed Fucking Reindeer. Disease taking hold. I think it’ll get worse before it gets better, damn it. It’ll definitely get better though. I’m confident in my own intelligence, if nothing else. I had hoped to be out of here before Christmas, but I guess that’s too much to ask for.

I’ve started tasting blood. Every meal seems tainted metallic, though that might actually improve the shit they have us eating. It’s all frozen and half rotten, bottom of the barrel kind of stuff. I guess that makes sense, why waste the good food on those of us that are going to die anyway? I mean, I won’t. But for the rest of them, why bother. There is no cure for the blood plague. Even I’ve only managed to come up with a vaccine.

1/3/38

I lost my journal. No, more accurately, it was stolen by the motherfucker from before. More accurately, he stole it, bled on the pages, and then threw it outside the fence. I have no clue why. He’s bad, blood streaming from his eyes and lips. I could barely make out what he was trying to say, every time he tried to speak, blood dribbled out. Not that I cared what he had to say. I’d imagine he only had days left.

My own condition isn’t getting better, though it hasn’t gotten noticeably worse. Small amounts of blood in my mouth, my spit has been slightly tinged pink for the last few days. I calculated the turnaround though. It should be any day now. Any day…

I debated whether or not to write down how I’m writing this, as my journal is no longer here, and decided why not. It’s blood on my wall. I know what you’re thinking, that i’ve likely gone insane, that the blood plague is taking hold. It’s not, I can promise you that. When you look at it, it’s perfect logical.

My top priority is information. I have to record these events so that the process of my vaccine can be documented and studied. As a scientist, I know the most essential thing is data. I need to be able to provide that. I’ve just been forced to use alternative methods.

He would’ve died anyway. There is no cure for the blood plague, and he barely had days left. Something that saves lives is more important than the death of one man, I know it seems macabre but he would’ve died in days. Is it really even a murder when you’re both on death row?

He is.

Was.

I’m not. I’m going to live.

It wasn’t hard, really, to kill him. He wasn’t strong, and it was quite easy to split his head open. The blood just mingled with what was already on the floor and walls, have I mentioned this place has gotten disgusting with all the blood. Dragged him to my room, dipped my finger in, and began writing.

I don’t want this to sound horrific. It’s not. I distanced myself from things, made the matter merely academic. When dissecting something, you don’t contemplate the pathos, you just analyze. That is merely what I’m doing. He would’ve died soon anyway.

1/11/38

The body stinks to high heaven and I can barely get enough blood to write with without a few maggots or flies crawling over my fingers. I need to remain objective but they are truly disgusting.

Blessing in disguise, perhaps, my own eyes have begun dripping. My mouth too, though that’s diluted. I can keep writing. I will document this. I will wait for my body to fight off the vaccine, for immunity to kick in. I will be the one to figure it out I will be known I will be a savior

Just a little longer

#horror #writeblr #my writing

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serenavonromvesen · 5 years

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September 21st, 2019.

I really don’t know where else to vent but on tumblr. I have always used tumblr as an outlet for venting and I’m reaching a point where I really just need to write out how I’m feeling, without cramping my hand writing with pen and paper.

I feel really lonely as far as friends go. I have an AMAZING group of friends, but so many of them live far away. I have my tribe and I feel I will always have that, but its never the same as having lady friends, I literally have like three or four ladyfriends that I can actually hang out with in person, and only one of them is someone I didnt meet through my boyfriend first. its not that I have anything I want to share behind him, its that I always feel like on some level they’re always more his friend than mine- and at that, I didn’t choose most of them to be in my life, they were given to me. don’t get me wrong, I’m SO grateful for anyone I do have currently in my life. I just don’t have any friends who truly understand me, and especially not that are into the things that I am. I would love so much to be able to be friends with another tattoo model in my area, and ACTUALLY genuinely have a real friendship. I emphasize ‘genuinely’ because this industry is FULL of backstabbing bitches that would throw you in front of a bus to get one more step ahead of you. I just want a girl I can hang out with all the time SO bad. and the one person here who is awesome, works like ALLLLL the time. it sucks pretty bad when you only have one true friend and they end up getting way too busy for you. she’s supposed to move away anyways she said, so I guess I better get used to it now anyways. I’m just so sad of having no girls to actually hang out with. Skyping with my best friend is great, but it just isnt the same- and a lot of time I do get put aside compared to actually going to hang out with people anyways. which i dont have here.

now, I’m SUPER introverted, nervous, shy, socially awkward AND anxious, and sometimes I have a hard time making normal conversation. in fact, I am always secretly bothered by the fact that I’m PRETTY SURE i have some form of Autism, but I would never actually say that I am being diagnosed, but I am terrified to find out. I once emailed a place to ask some questions and set an appointment, but I never heard back.. that was i think last year. Anyways, I don’t want a ton of friends or anything. I dont want to hang out every day- it’s exhausting. but I still want the option to be able to call someone up in those rare days where I do feel like going outside or seeing people, to actually have fun. I used to have that in New Jersey, my group of girls that I hang with an we all really support each other. I miss them so bad. I am SO homesick for like, the last two years now. I try not to think about it if I can help it, but I miss my friends, I miss my mom.. I hate that I’m missing my baby cousins grow up, I hate that I’ve FINALLY made a connection with some of my cousins and now I’ll rarely ever see them, I hate that I can’t do body suspensions more often, I hate that I don’t get to see my brother Sean when he visits... but most of all I do HATE New Jersey and could never live there. I just wish so bad it hadn’t been like 4-5 years since I’ve seen my friends and family. it hurts. I’m so homesick for just the strong friendships I have.

I just...know its possible. I know its possible to have the small group of friends I want. I just wish girls weren’t so...mean and competitive. I just feel so lonely. I feel like I don’t have anyone to hang out with thats a female. why is everyone so far away? I’m home alone all day every day. you’d think a puppy wouldve made me feel less alone, but really I’m a thousand times more stressed than ever. I wanted to move for a fresh start, to breathe, so enjoy peace...and as soon as I got here everyones over all the time and it just reminds me how I dont have friends of my own, and how my friends dont come to visit me, and how I never get a second to myself. I finally got the chance and heres this puppy. i love him with my life but I AM SO STRESSED!!! I’m with him 10-14 hours a day by myself and then half of the time I’m still the one dealing with him at the crack of dawn, too. I never get time alone unless he sleeps and then I have to walk on eggshells to not wake him up- AND I DIDN’T EVEN FUCKING WANT THIS!!! when I was forced to give up my other pupper, Hades, I said I never wanted a puppy again because IT IS TOO MUCH FOR ME. it puts me on edge and greatly disrupts my bipolar. i literally CANT handle it. I said I would get a dog no younger than 2 years old. I wanted a border coli so bad, maybe even a doberman because I still miss my old dog Max SO MUCH! I like bigger dogs and never really was a big fan of little dogs. I like a dog I can give a whole ass hug to, and feel protected by when I walk alone down a street with him. but no, Michael had to choose, he wanted a puppy, he wanted a small-type pure bred dog which means it’ll be twice as expensive twice as often with vet visits. but he wanted it. he insisted. and now, here we are, just like scooping the litter boxes for all 4 cats, its pretty much almost entirely left on me to do. for so so long I told myself “well he works and I dont really work, I’m home all day and hes not here much to have the time for it.” but you know what I realized? That when I worked full time at Starbucks, or when I worked two jobs at both the Smoke Shoppe AND Spencers, that I still put in the same amount of work as all of this- I was still expected to do all of this. at that, I am SO SICK AND TIRED of him asking me EVERY FUCKING DAY “will you mop today? will you do the laundry? will you do that dogs medicine? will you change the cat boxes?” periodically throughout every morning. like oh, I didn’t realize that I was a fucking 4 year old that needs direction on needing to do basic fucking cleaning tasks!!!!! the only reason I dont get to half that stuff most of the time is that I’m annoyed as fuck at being told what to do / treated that way, and that by the time he leaves for work theres been a whole fucking list of shit lined up that I now feel EXPECTED to do before hes home from work. it literally aggravates me SO MUCH just typing about it because im so fucking pissed off that he does this EVERYMOTHERFUCKINGDAY. it makes me feel angry and completely overwhelmed and then I just spend my entire day dreading it then rushing to do it right before he gets home from work. I just fucking hate it. like I’m fucking 25 years old, I know what the fuck to do to keep the fucking house clean, thanks.

at that, between the no friends, the fucking belittlement of being given a verbal list of chores every day, and the stress from puppy I absolutely did NOT ask for, I am feeling so depressed. I wanted a new house so I could ENJOY it, but instead any moment in my backyard is spent trying to get the puppy to stop eating random crap the people before us left- like glass, I cant enjoy how the inside looks because theres puppy training pads all over the floor which the floor is always dirty because of being in and out of the house with the puppy, or just even a moment of peace at all. like literally this defeated the whole entire purpose of wanting to move. its still a gazillion times better than the trailer, I still totally love this house, but because of my stress and loneliness level, I feel nearly just as depressed as before.

what doesnt help is lately Michael has been SO negative abut things. it’s like when I finally am enjoying myself, he comes through like a wrecking ball being negative, depressing, unsupportive, argumentative, and just plain giving off vibes that make me feel so down. He still makes me feel super happy like 98% of the time, but it is such a downer when hes being super negative about EVERYTHING. or when he gets my hopes up about things and then goes back on his word. he LOVES to tell me yes to shut me up then saying no when it becomes real, a mega part of why I haven’t gotten to visit my family in 4 years. and then he makes me feel SO bad about it. he has no problem bragging to everyone about a vacation, but when its just us suddenly its “I have to do this on my own” and “it’s expensive” like really? thanks for bragging about it for two months, waiting until we have it a month away to tell me its 100% on me to plan it, then complain about everything I tried to plan, WHILE making me feel like a complete and utter loser that I’m a failure at everything I try to do so now I don’t make any money. I literally fucking hate myself again. that’s where I’m at. I’m starting to find my body, my hair, my face- all of it repulsive. I hate how I look. I hate my hair and how my dreads are all lose, but I have to ask him for money to be able to fix my hair. he always tells me just ask and it isnt a problem but then when I do want to do things he makes me wait ages and puts it off or flat out complains- or if it all goes smoothly he throws it in my face the first fight we have. I just feel like such a fucking loser, that’s getting uglier by the day. and when I finally worked up the courage to go to the gym, its like pulling teeth to get him to go- I’ve been asking for a year and we STILL haven’t gone. I want to be a breakdancer SO BAD and I’ll never get to do that if I can’t go to the gym to work out. he tells me to just go but he doesnt understand that being a woman alone in public these days you’re at extreme risk of being raped and 10/10 multiple dudes will trying saying gross things and hitting on you/catcalling. I wish so so so so so bad I could go out for a day and have not a soul talk to me or look at me. what a dream that would be. I just cant go alone. its literally dangerous. scary.

I just feel so STUCK. I want to make money so I can contribute to the house and pay for what I need MYSELF. I never ever liked being someone who fully depends on someone like that. hell, a decade ago I refused to let anyone even get me a simple drink from a convenience store. it still feels uncomfortable to have to be like this. I want to be able to take care of myself. to know that if it was just me that I wouldnt just...be out on the streets. now I’m getting married and its a great relief that thats a less legitimate fear, but I still want to be able to take care of myself so that I could help my babe. he works SO hard for us and spends SO much money taking care of us, I just want to be able to pay my part of that and make HIS life easier, so that we BOTH can do more things that we like instead of just paying bills till the next check. I feel so useless and worthless. but everything I try to do I just fail at, or I’m too depressed and just lose the passion for it. or the will to do nearly anything. I really thought moving was going to change everything for me but... I feel nearly just as depressed. the environment change has definitely helped but, it didn’t suddenly cure my depression like I hoped for..

I just feel so alone, in like, literally everything I try to do. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere. when I do think I fit in, it just turns out to be a delayed rejection. I swear I get screwed over and stabbed in the back more often than anyone I’ve ever met in my life. I’m easily forgotten and definitely easy to fuck over. I just wish people werent so hateful and selfish... all I want is to have female friends I can actually hang out with, have some help with my puppy, to talk to my fiance without him thinking I’m having an argument, to workout so I can dance, and to do something I love that makes me happy that I can make money with. I feel like I failed as a model too. I make all these plans and then.. I can never accomplish them. I often think, is it worth it really? to compete with all these girls when I dont care about competition? to be screwed over because I’m an opponent to everyone I wish I was friends with? to try and build working-relationships with photographers who seem to forget about me before I even get my pictures back? to not be paid for modeling when I spent tons of money on clothes for shoots? to not have my name out there after a year and a half? to not even be able to find a photographer that wants to shoot for publication? or be told I’m not inked enough to shoot again (the day after I got tattooed?)? I just feel like a failure. I spent over a thousand dollars on clothes for shoots, plus all traveling expenses, to have only ever profited $50 one time and then never get my edited photos back. I just feel like I’m not worth anything, that I can’t contribute or make money without making myself excessively unhappy working jobs I hate- only to be belittled there too.

I don’t even care about social media anymore. I don’t care to check instagram or post on it. why? so I can spend two hours doing makeup so I could post a selfie to write another caption telling everyone that “one day” I’ll do more? what’s the point? If only I had someone I could invite over to talk to about it :( I just feel so...unexcited by everything. like Stan in the episode about shit. I’m bored, I feel gross, I feel lonely, I’m overwhelmingly stressed, I’m growing to hate myself again, and I feel like I don’t have the positive influence I need to get better. I WANT to get better, I just need help and I don’t have anyone I feel I could reach out to that could actually help me. I just really need a friend...

#lonely #need friends #personal #feeling small #journal entry

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isaacathom · 6 years

Text

ok this is actually a fun bit of writing here, even if the preceding shit was kinda garbage

tl;dr this bitch has to rant about this stupid book because i naively want to learn something about my family’s history and this is the only fucken way to do it

‘When he discovered he had to work to help provide for this instant family of a large flock of children, ‘Mick’ showed his true self and devotion to the family.

Within a year of the marriage, he left the fold, leaving his wife to fend for herself in the daunting task of raising her children.’

like.aside from just being kinda awkwardly worded (he bangs On and On about how his mum was the 11th of 11 children like fuck i get it its a big family, holy shit) i think thats just. a good concept there. the space really sells the punch. wouldve been better if we hadnt been told beforehand that Mick was a cunt, yknow. but thats nice

also lets keep going. ‘6 step brothers and 4 step sisters’ theyre actually her Half Siblings. they all share the same mother. theyre related. she’d be step if she was adopted, which she was not, because if she were, surely we wouldve been told about those circumstances.

‘[his mother] easily met that high standard as she was a very pretty young lady’ please dont perv out over your fucking mother you pig of a man. also you would hope ‘jock’ (his name is fucking robert but ok, Jock) was interested in more than how pretty Nellie was when they got together, right......... like there had to be more to it. am i naive? perhaps

‘scottish clan gordon’ the what. but we arent gordons???? are you. are you hundred percent sure. are you positive about this. are you sure thats why your name is gordon. alright buddy

‘according to buzzy’s story’ please never refer to yourself in the third person

‘hotels rarely burn down’ ?? i dont buy that at all. my guess is this famous hotel (which.... you didnt name so ok)

ok so theres a picture in here of my dad standing at some random gate, and he says its the same gate as a picture of his dad..... where is THAT picture??? this picture means nothing without that historic context, and it feels hollow if the actual picture isnt there.

granddad you dont. you dont need to wikipedia article dump me information about glasgow??? i mean sure, cool, id rather just be reading the wikipedia article.

jesus christ. so hes talking about his dad, right. who he’d technically set up earlier by saying he came to melbourne at 19. before he launched into a whole thng about his mother and shit. and suddenly hes come back to his dad to explain that his dad (so gordons grandfather) used to beat him! and its like, wOAH, where the fuck did that come from??? shit dude. thats rough. but he just mentions it suddenly out of nowhere. oH JESUS actually. sorry. i misread (yknow, because its written like shit). he means.... his brother??? right, he means his Brother Robert, was beaten by his dad, also named Robert, who was the one who came to melbourne aged 19. ok. ok that makes slightly more structural sense but ooof. ouch. poor robert (the younger). in my uh, defence, this book is written awful and i've never met robert? (my.... understanding is that he probably died before i was born? like with mary, who i dont recall having met either)

ok uhhh ‘most of the gorbal’s tenemenets were eventually demolished by the wise founding fathers many decades later, in the 1980s’ the WHOM. this isnt fucking america, this is scotland, what in the actual fuck are you TALKING about????????????????????????????? ‘modern day replacement improvements and architecture designed to achieve, what?’ fucker they were trying to fix the mistake they made in crowding 90k people into the fucking gorbals. maybe they didnt succeed (they didnt) but they were trying, it was naivete rather than fucking malice, you bitter old fuck. like, you visited in the 1980s.... and published this book in 2007......... without thinking to check back......... like hey maybe theyve gotten better? (newsflash - they fucking have) sooo... fuck

‘could the [my family] be related? [to the mcdonalds]’ yes??? we literally are. theres no question of that. being a sept of clanranald, we are Literally related to the fucking macdonalds. you absolute buffoon. yea its distant, and maybe thats your point, but when combined with you launching into this giant diatribe about rhw Campbells for shit that happened long ago, it seems youre picking and choosing how close ‘related’ is. we are. literally. related to the macdonalds. also it wasnt thought up in glasgow, they were from fucking new hampshire. but sure.

‘his sheila wife of his’ excuse me?

‘so the name was related to a buzzing bee i suppose’ ? i still dont get it. like, he then explains that apparently his twin sister had difficulty saying Brother, so she called him Buzzy. that makes sense to me. i can understand that. but the buzzing bee thing? not sure i follow, given the prior context he provided. i dont get it. this is written like garbage. theres no structure. we went from jumping forward in time to the birth of my uncle Dale (my dads older brother) and suddenly we’re talking about Mick’s running career and gordon’s childhood! what the fuck happened.

‘coupled with the bigoted attitudes that were rife during those periods’ says the man who got angry at a black (i THINK, mightve been a separate story) frenchman who couldnt speak english in France because ‘we saved them’. fuck off. youre just like them, you old codger.

also hes decrying his grandfather mick for being ‘no true irishman’ even though micks dad was full irish? by that exact same metric i can call my grandfather no true scotsman, because his dad is full scottish and thats it!!! you fucking fool. no true irishman, holy shit, how little self awareness could this man have.

‘then excessive drinking liquor isnt for me’ but is Is for your wife, is it gordon??? drinking wine when shes on antibiotics??? fucking incredible. god theyre. theyre so stupid.

‘not proceeding as a scholar as i could have’ you literally admitted like 5 pages ago that your twin sister was Far smarter than you, but sure! ~scholar~. if you were meant to be a scholar surely you wouldve bounded back from missing days with a vengeance. youre talking complete tosh.

im confused why theyd be doing bombing drills in South Yarra.... in preparation from a japanese air raid.... like im sorry, if the people north are doing their jobs, theres no physical way they couldve gotten to south yarra....... but ok. thats not his fault i just think thats strange.

im 110 pages in and he hasnt actually gotten to the point where he meets eleanor??? aside from a few time jumps forward and a brief mention of ‘meeting her in a milk bar in south yarra’ so like. hoi vey? the fuck.

oh jesus thats. thats a heavy thing to just chuck in the middle of a sentence??? like ‘oh yea after Skete the next scout leader was a paedophile who abused me and the others’ wwwOooahhh there buddy back up. what???? holy shit. ouch. thats. thats rough.

‘absolutely belted this poofta bastard’ yknow what? fair. id also beat the fuck out of a pedo with my boot. thats Relatable. good going on that, i suppose.

ooh thats full third person, weird.

one thing that is definitely kinda interesting, and very telling about his relationship with his family, is that he only ever refers to Nellie as ‘mum’, but refers to Mick as, well, Mick! rather than ‘granddad’ or anything of the sort. like its just sorta interesting when you get this big family photo and Nellie is the only one not called by her first name.

‘returning to those earlier days’ NO! FUCKING MOVE FORWARD IN TIME YOU GIT!!!! holy shit i just want to read about new fucking shit.

......... so like, at some point while playing footy, an opposing player kicked him in the leg and caused a fractured tibia. so a few weeks later... one of gordons friends took a mark on that player and kneed him straight in the head, with that player never playing again. and he’s PROUD of that!!! he’s proud of his friend for ruining a guys footy career. like yea, the guy was a dick, he broke your leg and it was at least partially malicious, but like........... you fucked him up????? hardcore?????? a straight up ruination. but go off i guess.

its interesting that he doesnt go even remotely into eleanors history beyond the fact (so far) that her father Leo didnt say much but was a good dude. then again the books all about him soooo fuck it i suppose.

‘recognition of our scottish heritage’ eleanor isnt scottish tho. shes irish. shes an o'donoghue. what the fuck. like yea naming them dale and glen is a ‘clever’ nod back to scotland (i actually do think thats cute and clever, joking aside. its the exact sort of ‘clever’ shit i love pulling) but............. shes not scottish. unless we’re waiting for volume 2 all about eleanor.

hE USED TO LIVE OUT HERE??????? IN SPRINGVALE????? fuck me. no fucking wonder we live here, huh, jesus. that. certainly explains something, i suppose. like ‘if you were raised in holbrook and YOU were raised in thomastown, why do we live in knox?’

OHHHHH HERES THE FRENCH THING!!!! OHHHH HERES ONE OF THE FRENCH THINGS. OH BITCH behold

so granddads being a dick, as usual, and he’s on some tour in paris. and the tour guide launches into a long thing about the glory of france, like french history and the fighting record, etc. and granddad calls out and tells him to knock it off, because ‘our australians died by the thousands for your country’

i. eh... uhh............... is he. is he aware? of how many french people died???? for france?????? how many????? il tell you how many - apparently 1.44% of the total population of france. thats 600000 people. how many did we lose? around 35k. thats, uh, a smaller fucking number. than the amount of french people. who died. for fucking france. you fucking idiot.

it kills me. is he gonna include the french speaking one too???

oh hell that sure is a picture of my father. good heavens. holy shit my brother really does look like him. thats uncanny, man.

‘one son Scotty’ his name is Scott, actually. not scotty. but cool, i got a really small shout out, weirdly BEFORE my older cousins did???? oh dear is he gonna talk about my uncles divorce actually. oh god. thats. thats terrifying to consider. oh, cool, he didnt in that small section, hopefully it doesnt come up haha (i can only IMAGINE what sort of vile shit he’d say about cathy)

also, ooh, more nuggets on grandma’s family. her dad was a freemason! thats cool.

ooh! he was the president of holbrook shire council! thats kinda neat actually.

ooh! the glenndale motel actually still exists! thats cool as hell. not that granddad told me that i just googled it

OHHH ITS THE FUCKING FRENCH SPEAKING STORY OH MY GOD

Ok first off ‘i slammed my fist into the counter and said very calmly’ yea no fuck that, youre fucking lying. theres no way you slammed the counter and spoke calmly. you almost definitely abused this poor french metro worker who, being a French Man living in France, is not required to know english. you fucking babboonnnnnnnnnn

apparently he nearly fell off a mountain innnnnn geeermany? austria, austria. and as he mentions my dad pulling him back up, he words it as ‘stopping me from falling to my final destiny’ what fucking wording IS that. my god.

uh well ok thats. about it i suppose. there was a big hullabuloo about like, hotels and shit, and there was probably some racism about Islanders in there (like i find it hard to believe there wasnt but im not gonna go back and double check, because this book reads like absolute garbage). but eh. yea?

uuhhh so that was an Adventure, for sure

#long post #book liveblog #theres no like tags for this its just me reading a stupid fucking memoir my granddad wrote with 0 fucking oversight #half of it is almost definitely inaccurate or straight up incorrect. the rest is just poorly written and structured #ike it was a chore to get through because my eyes just bounce off the page because it reads like how I fucking type on the internet #but without any intent! my shit grammar is at least supposed to convey fuckin. speech patterns or something #his writing is just poorly thought out and hasnt been edited in the slightest and its just Disgusting my guy

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