#we're best friends she just doesnt know it yet

[whisp3roftheheart]

Sometimes I hate that my friend group is so close knit because whenever I'm having issues with one person there is never any real escape from them. At least no meaningful one because no matter what things will always circle back to them and I'll be forced to interact.

[azulpitlane]

vicious I ln4

pairing: lando norris x reader, a little of charles leclerc x reader🫣 summary: lando's fans always attack you yet he does nothing to defend you, inspired by vicious by sabrina carpenter notes: if youre the anon that requested this sorry it took so long lol! but you were so sweet ty masterlist, part two

yourusername

liked by maxfewtrell, charles_leclerc and 1,829,392 others

yourusername lil getaway

view all comments

user wait is she dating lando??

user there's been rumors of them dating for months but neither of them have confirmed user hopefully not lol

user i had no idea she went on this trip

user yeah cause lando never posts her or even likes her posts lmfaoaofda

user am i the only one that finds her annoying...

user nooo everyone else does lol shes always leeching off lando

yourbff ur perfect babe liked by yourusername

user pls dont let this be a hard launch🧎‍♀️lando get UP

user of course she has to post lando🤣she needs him for the likes

maxfewtrell spent more time on the ground than actually skiing

yourusername SHHHH it was my first time

user why are all these comments about lando?? im only looking at her😍

f1gossip

302,837 likes

f1gossip Y/n Y/l/n spotted in Bali celebrating New Years at Martin Garrix's show, possibly with Lando Norris. The two have sparked dating rumors for a few months now but no confirmation has been made from either of them.

view all comments

user we might have to start accepting that theyre dating☹️

user I REFUSE

user wait im new to the fandom, whys everyone hating on y/n i love her music...

user shes always posting lando for attention and he clearly has no interest in her, he doesnt even like her posts user plus his ex >>>>>>> y/n

user she doesnt deserve him, he needs someone lowkey and y/n is such an attention whore

user not surprised shes there, always leeching on him

user right like girl give him space, he aint yours

user im a y/n defender idgaf. everyone in these comments are just jealous liked by yourbff

user yikes... user defending someone who needs a man to stay relevant lol ok

user i miss luisinha😭

user im convinced theyre still dating and shes using lando for pr

y/n hey lan, i safely made it back to the hotel

lando 👍

y/n i still dont understand why you wanted me to leave early though, its not even midnight :(

lando y/n, we talked about this. there was lots of paparazzi there and if they saw us together on midnight they would think we're dating

y/n we ARE dating... why are you acting like we arent?

lando yk what i meant im just trying to protect you from the craziness that comes from dating me baby

y/n im already getting hate, hows hiding me any different?

lando lets just not do this tn. yk how much worse its gonna get it if we confirm anything listen i love you, isnt that enough?

y/n yeah, ily too

lando ill see you later tn❤️

lando baby where are you? come on it was a drunk mistake, yk i only love you it was just martins friend, you know her

y/n oh the girl you told me not to worry about?

lando it didnt mean anything why are you acting like this?

y/n because you fucking cheated. im leaving and im moving out of the apartment

lando please dont, im sorry baby i love you

y/n you say you love me but you can never prove it you hid me away for a whole year, was it so you could hook up with other girls?

lando of course not wth but since there's clearly no trust in this relationship maybe we should end it i wish you the best y/n read

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pietrapilao and 3,295,203 others

yourusername new year same me, wasnt ever the problem

view all comments

yourbff YES WIFEY liked by yourusername

user she unfollowed lando omg.

user WAR IS OVERRRR

pietrapilao out of sight out of mind🧘‍♀️ liked by yourusername

user is this about lando omg...

luisinhaoliveira99 😍😍 liked by yourusername

user ARIANA WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??? user WHEN DID THEY MEET??? user I NEED THE TEA RNNNNNN

charles_leclerc 🖤

user OH?

user what is going on in these comments omg??

user shes finally realized lando will never date a girl like her

user hahaha fr she finally deleted all her posts with him user probably gonna go for piastri now🤣

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris and 3,294,234 others

yourusername took some time off music but dont worry, im back and ready to prove i dont need anybody to stay successful

vicious is out now💌

view all comments

user OH NOWWW LANDO LIKES HER POST

yourbff sooo back baby

user this has to be about lando...

user the lyrics are heartbreaking omg

user you all owe her a big apology for the way you treated her

charles_leclerc you look good in red this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc love it! this comment has been deleted

charles_leclerc congrats on the new song!!

taylorswift 💌❤️

user yall better not start switching up!! if you were hating on her, stay away

user are we just going to ignore charles' deleted comments??

user bro was NERVOUS

user we dont know if this is about lando!! they were just friends

user you toxic lando fans need to stay away🙄 she was never seen with anyone else this past year so its clearly about him. hes not some saint you paint him out to be user exactly!! you guys are acting like you know him

user her shirt saying loyal🫣thats gotta be a diss

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, martingarrix and 630,402 others

landonorris pretty vicious life im living rn

view all comments

user the caption??? the hard launch??? oh thats not-

maxfewtrell bro. no.

user his own best friend doesnt approve of his behavior😬

user this winter break drama is something else

user lando i cant keep defending you. why would you caption it this.

user IS THAT NEW YEARS KISS GIRL ON THE THIRD SLIDE???

user yess i found her @ shes martin garrix's friend and she was at that party

user anyone else notice luisa unfollowed him??

user she chose her side HAAHAH user pretty ironic cause so many fans were comparing y/n to her and now theyre friends🤣

user whys everyone mad?? its his private life why do you guys care

user oh so now you guys are giving him privacy?? but when he was rumored to be with y/n you were hating...the hypocrisy

yourbff alexa play obsessed by mariah carey🥱

user OOP user the girls are fightingggg

user not even a y/n fan but this was a bit unnecessary...

user "you dont feel remorse, you dont feel the effects" 🫠

f1gossip

240,520 likes

f1gossip Despite hard launching their relationship just one week ago, Lando's new girlfriend has been spotted getting cozy with a different guy! The leaked pictures have already caused for her to go private on all social medias😬

view all comments

user karma is A GOD

user i know y/n is having a good day today

user omfg poor lando :(

user womp womp

user i bet he is regretting his decisions rn😭

user y/n nation won today, ln4 nation taking L after L

user we cant catch a break😩

user WHAT IS GOING ON WITH LANDO RN

user craziest winter break yet jeez

Instagram Messages

charles_leclerc hey y/n! i know we havent spoken much but ive seen how lando treated you the few times you were at races and i apologize for never speaking on it i just wanted to tell you you're a great person and your music is so amazing if you ever need anything please just shoot me a text!

landonorris y/n you blocked my number? im sorry about everything baby can we please just talk?

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, maxfewtrell and 4,204,214 others

yourusername im soooo sorry for your loss😊

my new single feather is out now!! special thanks to @charles_leclerc for helping me out in the music video, had so much making it <3

view all comments

user this mv was so hot omg

user I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS BUT I LOVE

user i know a certain someone is FUMING

luisinhaoliveira99 on repeat already!!

yourusername 💋💋 user im convinced luisa reached out after she saw all the comparisons with her and y/n and they became besties user wait that makes so much sense

user f1 twitter is going insane rn

user Y/N NATION KEEPS WINNING

pietra.pilao AHH youre so talented bby liked by yourusername

charles_leclerc had the best time on set with you❤️

yourusername ❤️ user i ship it........

user i want them both

user ofc now shes going for another driver🙄

user oh you guys are OBSESSED with her, get a job user y/n still has them mad LOL

user l**** would never agree to anything like this

user im literally never getting over this, ive watched it 5 times in a row already

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, maxfewtrell and 940,240 others

landonorris a toast to my real friends

view all comments

user if this is a charles sneak diss i will cry

user we got carlando content....but at what price

user oh he definitely got blocked by y/n😭

user dw we're on your side lando

user who is we?

user just take the L and move on bro

user the way 2 songs got everyone to switch up on lando HAHA

user not just that but his shady posts too

charles_leclerc posted a story

Replies

user the girls are OFFICIALLY fighting oh gosh

user next season is going to be interesting...

user my roman empire

user IS THIS A HARD LAUNCH???

user what is happening.

user PARENTS

[patroxlos]

in another ask u said that reader feeds into his insecurities and worsens his abandonment issues could u explain it more? also loved how we got to know reader more in the last chapter it helps build character and made me think abt how much deep the reveal is gonna be (angst coming? 👀). tnks for the food💕

the angst will be coming! and they will be miscommunicating so much more than they are right now! im excited because ch8 is significant to establish the reader's motive >:) but to answer your question...

SUMMARY:

all will be revealed as the story progresses >:) i was intentionally vague in that ask because it hasnt been revealed in the story yet what caused you two to fall nearly out years ago, but that said im a yapper HAHAHA

your role as his childhood friend is significant bc u are tied to his past in japan, a place and culture he has very conflicting feelings about

he thinks you don't need him in your life esp because you're so confusing and indecisive about what you want from him

you both were very toxic for eo during your situationship.

If you want to see me yap about Kenji's abandonment and attachment issues, keep reading.

There is narrative purpose as to why I figured a childhood friend would fit in well with Ultraman: Rising's plot in itself

the movie is very family-centric, and a lot of how kenji achieves peace with himself in the film is by reconnecting with the past, be it his family or the culture he left behind

while i figured that it would be fun to write a reluctant team-up to lovers, bc ill be able to play around w kenji's personality pre-Emi, i also didnt see the place of a romance forming while he's struggling being a single mom

but i also wanted the story to take place during the movie's run bc i wanted to include Emi since she plays a big part in us learning who Ken is, so writing a fic that starts after the film didnt feel in the cards for me

since kenji grows as a person by the end of the film through making peace with his conflicting identities and his tumultuous past, i thought having a childhood best friend would make sense since i dont think he has the space to introduce anyone new in his life

bc reader is a childhood friend who he is meant to be close to, i cant write kenji interacting with reader the same way he is at the start of the film because there is a familiarity that breaks down his walls— which caused me to have a dilemma about how to characterize him

it also made me a bit sad that i cant write full-on ken sato the "egomaniac" bc i think thatll be fun since he's such a boyfailure

but that means that we see a softer ken when he interacts with reader, someone who is a bit more vulnerable with showing that he strives for further connections in his life even if he wants to look like he can do it all by himself

Kenji feels alone and disconnected from everyone, including you

it's also clear to the audience that kenji doesnt have any friends, and anyone he's friendly with is probably friends with him on a surface level. Ami states in their first interview that he is known as someone who keeps others at a distance, and who is untouchable

the team behind Ultraman: Rising did state that there is a deleted scene where he is clubbing, which is meant to show that he feels alone even in a sea of bodies. and his dad in the movie isnt surprised that he is throwing parties at his house, so it just clues us in that he probably lived life with very shallow connections and has filled his time with materialistic pursuits (e.g. his car collection...what he need a mclaren for)

i decided to make the reader someone from the 1% for two reasons: first being so that i can explain why her and kenji meet up over the years (i see a lot of friends who migrated to north america only once a year and we're still close!), and second, because i wanted you to be on the same playing field if not higher playing field than him.

Ken puts up the front that he doesn't need anyone else, but he is insecure about how he thinks you don't need him.

bc u have ur own things going on!! u have ur own friends

what makes it worse is that u genuinely think that kenji is the same. u think that since he's very successful, he would have his own thing

i havent touched up on it much yet, but it's very evident to kenji that you will readily pick yourself over him, which isn't a bad thing but it reminds him when his dad picked Ultraman over keeping his family together

ken feels like he can never be anyone's first choice or priority, and your situationship messes this up further

I haven't touched much on what happened between them yet in the story because it's building up to it, but

it soon feels for ken that youre only seeking him out on convenience. that he doesnt matter to you beyond what his body can do for you

bc spoiler: you are the villain in the situationship! you're the one who insists that everything is casual yet you keep the line blurry

^ karma is gonna get to u soon in the main storyline ure gonna be dry heaving when u realize u actually do want something with him

your constant back and forth with him will be revealed in the flashbacks... you not wanting more than a casual relationship yet youre talking abt what it would be like if you two got married???

Spoiler but during the situationship years, you're also the first one to say "I Love You" ROMANTICALLY yet youll later on backtrack and say that you didnt mean it in that way

can you blame him for getting confused and insecure about where you stand and whether or not he actually matters to anyone.

it doesnt help that his presence in your life is actively harming your reputation and career.

in ch8, it's briefly mentioned that ur media hate train is caused by ppl who are paying for bad press abt u starting from when you were 18. if you remember ch3-4, kenji freaks out abt a new article abt u two, and ch6 he was conscious of what others were saying.

one thing i want to elaborate in a separate post is that ken is AVOIDANT ATTACHMENT and reader is written to have DISORGANIZED ATTACHMENT.

Even if Kenji is avoidant due to his trauma of abandonment (e.g. self-reliant, avoids social connections), he can't help but yearn to be with you

so it's so confusing to him bc with everyone else, he would want to leave first. and he's close to leaving you so many times

yet you keep making these promises, saying sweet things about how much you need him, that he cant help but get roped into it a bit

When he is younger, he's fully aware that it is not a healthy mindset, but even if you're just using him at least it means that he still gets to be in your life. It makes him feel needed.

in the present timeline, sometimes those thoughts definitely cross his mind but at present he is focusing on maintaining the boundary you guys set about strictly being friends

So far I hope you caught in the story [as of ch8] from the subtext or dialogue that

in the present timeline, you are both 26 years old

the situationship started when you were 16 and lasted until you were 23

bc ure both high profile starting when you were 18, and u both publicly seem a lot closer than what ure claiming to be, it is well-documented that you two kind of go back and forth with each other (think justin and selena/shawn mendes and camila cabello)

(a new photo recently surfaced of shawn and camila together at Copa América and ppl were kind of confused as to whether or not they got back together again after breaking up for like the fourth time and i was like omg... home base core...)

when you both were 23, three years ago, you two had a really bad falling out caused by your previous situationship

it caused you officially end it for good, and while you maintained your friendship for those three years you weren't able to properly see each other face to face (partly. bc covid is canon in the fic HAHAHA but i havent talked abt it)

yall dont know how to act around eo anymore like why a little eye contact making u nervous .... yall had ur privates in eo's mouths (kenji munch next chapter soon promise hihi)...

since it is revealed that a large part of the hate train against you is paid for by people who want you out of power, kenji as much as possible wants to avoid being seen as more than friends with you atm bc he's worried it will derail your career

SORRY if it felt like I didn't say anything at all since I don't want to reveal too much at this stage lmao but I can do my best to elaborate on any points of interest!

[pawsometoons]

Edit: PLEASE LOOK AT, READ, AND REBLOG THE LINKED POST FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE

I know I usually don't post about stuff like this. But I'm spreading this over to Tumblr to make absolutely sure that everyone in the NiGHTS and Balan fandoms here know this information

I was a victim of Elfie's a while back last year. Both me and a close friend were victims.

At the time, neither of us knew things were this bad. But now I'm releived to know this information is out there and that server is gone for good. And hopefully, nobody will fall for her manipulation again.

CaptainElfie is also on tumblr. Make sure your steer clear of her and block her if you can.

I feel like, since I'm sharing this, I should also share me and my friend's part of the story

My friend doesnt have tumblr, but she is on Twitter (vibripple)

This was an incident from last year, but it's affected both of us pretty harshly. Especially Vib. Not to say we hadnt had a few questionable ordeals in the past. But I'm just going to explain what I can remember, since some of the information I've repressed for the sake of my mental stability.

For the small things, there were plenty of times where me and Vib didnt feel comfortable or safe in the server. Especially with us both being sex repulsed asexuals. Some of this behavior would be from other members of the server, which would never be pointed out or taken care of. And some of this behavior, Elfie had shown herself. Of course, she attempted to show that she cared about mine and Vib's boundaries. But she simply wasnt trying hard enough, since some other members still were pretty icky. Even in VRChat meetings too. Another thing being, both me and Vib had noticed, Elfie never acted very mature at all. She rarely ever took responsibility or tried to act civil in problematic situations.

And then theres the incident that was in the nail in the coffin for us both. It was just after the Monay vs. Fame vs. Love SPLATFEST in Splatoon 3. Both me and Vib were present in it, confident that we would win. Up until the end where Team Money won. Both me and Vib were devastated. Especially since we both associated the splatfest with a comfort character. And seeing we lost, it felt like we let said character down. Especially me. And though, of course, we were aware that yes it's a fictional character, but that didn't stop us from being upset. But elfie took things too far when she took an already bad day and made it absolutely worse. Elfie saw our behavior that day and our massive disappointment in the splatfest results and had the audacity to pull us both into a group chat with another member and act "worried" about our behavior. Again, we were just very upset at the loss of a splatfest that we were positive we were gonna win in, and again, associated with a comfort character. End of story. Or at least we wished it was. Then Elfie went even further to accuse both me AND Vib of being parasocial because of our behavior towards not only the splatfest, but our comfort characters too. Now, Vib has this thing, where she really likes Reala. I have this thing where I really like Judgement Boy. I call Judgement Boy my son, she calls Reala her bff. We BOTH are completely aware that they are both fictional characters and arent real, as much as we wish they were. And yet, here was Elfie, "worrying" about us like we're those tiktok teens who believe in quantum jumping or whatever it's called. We are both grown adults with of course one or two mental disabilities at best. But we are not that mentally ill. During this time, me and Vib could barely speak. We were both having straight up panic attacks on call may I mind you. And Elfie has the gall to try and force us onto VRChat to speak to her about this. In which neither of us had the energy or mental capacity to do at the time because, again, we were both having fully blown panic attacks. Both me and Vib have some pretty bad trauma when it comes to being confronted about things that arent true about us or thing we never even did. What makes this worse, is that I can say for almost everybody in that server, that they've had comfort characters aswell. HELL, there was one member who's status said things about being in love with Reala. Now I'm not against fictional crushes, or those who have F/Os and such. But for me and Vib, we had nothing close to that! Or at least not to that extent. Especially since Vib didnt even have a fictional crush on her comfort character. She saw Reala as a best friend. But again, being fully aware that Reala is a fictional character. So it was basically on the same lines, just not in the exact same way. And THAT user never got called out for it! THEY never got put on the spot in a private gc and being told they're parasocial for it! And all while this was happening, one of my partners, bless his soul, went out of his way to speak to Elfie for us. Which is when we found out that Elfie didnt care as much about us as we thought she did. She claimed that she didnt like our behavior despite us being some of the more normal users in that server, and even had the audacity to call some of our other close friends that we even had invited into the VRChat group gatherings as annoying. It was a whole mess that I regret having one of my partners get involved with, but I am forever grateful for him to have gotten that information for us. So after that incident, we began slowly distancing ourselves from the group and the server. Slowly started blocking people, leaving and blocking the vrchat group, and soon after, blocking Elfie and leaving the server for good.

Things didn't stop right away though. We still kept in touch with a few users who remained in the server, but at least accepted our decision to leave. Some have even stated that Elfie and some of the others "missed us" or "hoped we were okay" which neither of us believed for a second. Elfie herself even tried to pull in one of our close friends who she had as I stated prior, called him annoying. As he states, she said something along the lines of not knowing when she called him annoying and wanted him to join her server. In which, yeah, he didn't fall for that either.

Most of the other members of that server probably don't even know what happened that day. But if you're seeing this and remember us from that server.. well.. now you do.

But I do wish for everyone else who was in this situation aswell to heal. Their experiences should have to be heard too and not just mine. So many more people were hurt by Elfie than just me and you all should listen to them too.

[yourtouchismidas]

Ruins au again but imagine matty has to leave for a couple weeks while rg is pregnant with baby 2 and she overhears matty having a full chat with gigi about how she has to be good and take care of her mum while he’s gone 😭

so fucking cute omg.

i think when this happens you are maybe not even twelve weeks pregnant yet and super super sick with it. but you also havent told anyone, except the guys and a few other close friends and family, and matty has to go to new york for a week. you were both supposed to go with him but the idea of flying makes you want to throw up, so it is decided that you will stay back with gigi. he would take her, but he needs to be working when he is there. denise is going to come check in whenever you need it and look after you and take gigi to hers if needed.

but matty is packing, you're on the sofa with a wet flannel on your head, and he thinks you are sleeping but you can hear them, messing around and chatting and gigi is trying to get in matty's suitcase so he tickles her until she gets out. you smile under your wash cloth.

"i wanna go to new york," gigi grumbles.

"i know baby," matty says, blowing a raspberry on her tummy and making her squeal. "plenty of time though. you'll be able to come soon."

"i wanna go to the m&m store," gigi says.

"oh god i've raised you basic," matty says, "what about the architecture august healy? what about the met?"

"you can get me m&ms with my name on, right?"

"okay, fine," matty says, "but next time you come to new york we're doing a serious cultural education."

gigi goes quiet for a bit and you can hear matty packing and suddenly she pipes up, "mummy is poorly,"

"yeah," matty says, "you worried about her?"

you dont hear anything but you assume gigi nods because matty then says, "oh baby, it's okay, come here a sec."

there is rustling while she climbs on to his lap.

"mummy feels poorly but she isn't sick okay? she's not in danger or anything like that. its just some times... something mummies sometimes go through okay? like when she gets her period every month and has a headache and yells at daddy?"

"yeah," gigi giggles.

"well it's like that but just a little bit worse this time okay, so she feels poorly, but it's natural. like when she gets her period."

"oh okay," gigi says, wiggling down from him, "that's okay then"

"ah but it doesnt mean you can be running around her all loud and bothering her okay. daddy isn't going to be here to take care of her."

"i will!" gigi says.

"well it isn't your job too, baby, but you can help. nana is going to come. like we said yeah?"

"i'll help nana," gigi says.

"exactly baby," matty says, "you just have to be extra good for me okay? no whining. go to bed on time. eat what mummy or nana makes you?"

"what if its all gross?"

"august," matty says, "promise me?"

"what?" gigi laughs, messing with him.

"promise me you'll be good for mummy and nana. i know you're a good girl anyway. but extra good okay? be kind to mummy and nana."

"okay"

"promise?"

"promise..." gigi says, "...if you promise to get me my m&ms?"

matty laughs, "fine. you drive a hard bargain girl. raised you well."

you drift off back to sleep, heart warm, hand on your stomach, knowing that you have the best little family in the world.

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the beach conversation is insane actually im always being so mean to 13 for how closed off she is but it's insane what she does here like "ive never been able to", "it's what my life is", "not because i dont want to"

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much but lets play doctors and students and reenact the anatomy lesson dr nicolaes tulp you be the doctor and the students and i'll be the body hang on let me hold up a lamp so you can see what we're doing

shes like sorry yaz i cant give you much i locked my hearts in this rusty vault and lost the keys but if i had a spare i would give you it i swear i promise i know thats not enough but i'd give it to you

"i cant fix myself" is how she starts. "i'll be fine, in the end, hopefully" she says like an hour after regenerating after describing just how much it fucks her up and how scary it is and how painful and how much of a gamble, really, how much of a leap of faith and hoping for the best, hoping for that net to appear because if it doesnt......... theres no backup

are you alright, doctor? are you okay? yaz has asked a hundred times without getting an answer. and now she finally does and it seems to recontextualise every dodge that has come before. stop asking, it's not the end yet, theres still time, a little more patience, i will figure it out, i will be able to give you a yes eventually im sure of it.

but now it is the end, regeneration looms again, time is running out, and this endlessly delayed answer sounds like a resignation. i cant do it. not in time. maybe not ever. but definitely not before the plane crashes and i take you down with me. i broke the universe and i cant fix it. it's too late. i dawdled too much.

and what this could have been, but isnt, because neither of them take it this way, think of it this way, because theyre too much alike, and not like this at all, but what this could have been, in intention and reception, is a request for help. i give up, i cant figure this out, but can you? the doctor doesnt mean this, and yaz has always been too attentive to the limits, too respectful of the doctor's boundaries (from "who, me? no. never doubted. don't know what you mean" in ghost monument to "can we just live in the present") to misinterpret it this way. so theyre on the same page. a page, as always, decided on by the doctor. but it does make the perfect set up for the finale

because i do think, sort of, that yaz fixed it. not you know the millennia of trauma but the specific inability of 13 to trust people. the clara/river/missy/bill my-friends-die-or-are-not-what-they-seem-or-both cant-hold-anyones-hand-but-my-own inability to trust her friends are her friends and they will not like explode into gore and viscera if she touches them (which now that ive said it i bet is what she has nightmares about. perfect match with what i think yaz has nightmares about which is the doctor exploding into gore and viscera and not being able to do anything abt it. actually the best idea i think ive ever written abt what yaz has nightmares about is "or you take off your coat and youre wearing dynamite", but i digress) that, i think yaz sort of fixes when she saves the doctor and saves the world and i think if 13 had lived she'd have trusted yaz after that in a way she couldnt before and maybe even that realisation of "you saved my life" in that weird malleable state of post-pseudoregeneration might have had a hand in why 14 is the way he is

[if-mirrormine]

sandcastles

summary: for their first date, grayson takes paloma to the beach to recreate the first time they met.

pairing: grayson x paloma (f!oc)

word count: 970

as one of the winners of my valentines giveaway, this drabble is for @frutillia! the artwork was done by @softfairies, who is very cool and also proofread this for me so yk,,, go support her :)

paloma sits restlessly in the passenger seat, glancing between the road ahead and grayson next to her, his fingers drumming against the steering wheel along to the beat of the music playing in the background. she doesn't recognise the artist, but her best friend seems to be a fan of the acoustic melody and raspy vocals. she still can't quite wrap her head around it; she used to know everything there was to know about the man and now she finds herself getting to know him all over again. so much has changed and yet not enough, especially not the butterflies in her stomach anytime they're together. but then again, it's finally their first date; she's allowed to have butterflies.

she clears her throat, shifting in the seat to turn her body towards him and he tilts his head towards her to show he's listening. "so, um... you haven't told me where we're going."

keeping her eyes on his face, she watches as his cheeks begin to turn red.

"it's a surprise," he says softly, almost as if embarrassed by his idea and before she can come up with a reply, he reaches over the center console to take her hand in his.

"okay," she agrees, her own face getting warm and she gives his hand a gentle squeeze. the drive continues in comfortable silence and its not long before grayson pulls the car to a stop in an empty parking lot, the beach front sprawling out in front of them.

she glances at him curiously but he only smiles back. climbing out, he rounds the front of the car to open her door for her, refusing to listen when she insists she can do so herself, and he makes sure to grab a backpack from the backseat before taking her hand once more. she follows along as he leads her down the sand, the waves lapping softly at their feet.

"if i had known we were coming to the beach, i wouldn't have worn jeans," she jokes and he glances down, sheepish.

"sorry," he says before looking at her again, a smile curling on his lips. "but i'm hoping it's worth it."

"what is?"

squeezing her hand, he slides the backpack off his shoulder. "since it's our first date," he says as he begins to pull open the zipper, "i thought we could maybe build a sandcastle."

he pulls out two plastic buckets and spades, and she feels as if her heart swells in her chest. judging from the size and bright colours, it's obvious that they're cheap children's toys but it doesn't really matter. not when it's with grayson.

she smiles back at him, overwhelmed by the amount of love she feels for him in that moment, and she reaches for a spade. "just like when we met," she says softly, running her thumb over the groves in the handle. when she glances up at him, she finds him watching her with a hopeful look on his face. "i think it's perfect."

his shoulders sag with relief and he pulls her into his side, pressing his lips to the crown of her head as if its the most natural thing in the world. she sinks into him, breathing him in and longing for more, but he lets her go all too soon.

"so, paloma," he states. "tu veux construire un château de sable avec moi?"

she laughs. "of course."

grinning, he sinks to his knees on the sand and she follows suit. together, they build in silence, though as the castle grows, she notices him paying more attention to her than the task at hand.

"you know, it doesn't count if i do all the work," she chuckles and he shakes his head as if to shake himself from his staring only for his eyes to lock back onto her face almost immediately.

"sorry," he says but she can tell he doesnt quite mean it. "i'm just not fully convinced this is actually happening."

she can't help but frown. "what do you mean?"

"that you're here, real and in front of me, for starters," he replies and her stomach twists at the thought of their time apart. "and that you agreed to go out with me. i never thought you would."

"i never thought you would," she says. "i've had a crush on you forever."

a bright smile unfolds on his face that she finds contagious. "who knew we were such idiots?"

"i think everyone but us," she quips and when he laughs, she realises just how much she wants to make him laugh for the rest of time. and without really thinking, she says the words she been wanting to say for lifetime. "i love you so much, gray."

as if a switch has been flipped, he launches himself at her and her squeal of surprise is effectively cut off when he kisses her. full of passion and years of pent up longing, it only takes them a few seconds to get lost within each other. it feels like an eternity when they pull away and simultaneously not long enough. he presses his forehead against hers; his hands gently cupping her face, thumbs brushing over her cheekbones. she thinks she could lose herself in the warmth of his gaze until he speaks. "i love you too, paloma. forever and always."

feeling suddenly shy, she glances away, turning her head to the side and catching sight of the heap of sand that used to be their castle. "looks like we'll have to start again," she pouts and he glances briefly at the castle ruins before kissing her cheek.

"i'll do anything you want me to," he states. "especially if it means i get to kiss you again."

"grayson?"

"yeah?"

"kiss me again."

he's all too happy to oblige.

[moonsidesong]

just caught up with Your Turn To Die and absolutely adored it the whole way through. it goes unbelievably hard. calling it Danganronpa But Good feels like an insult. but like... yeah what if danganronpa was good? or rather. game that makes me wish danganronpa was good.

it really keeps you on your toes the Entire time, which is why i ended up saving like......... every five to ten minutes, most times. i would say the only slower part is the minigames during chapter 2? but, i thought those were fun, and they were still broken up by plot important stuff, so i really didnt mind.

ive heard the game had a soundtrack release on CD a few years ago, but i cant seem to find much information about it? much less any resell listings. how sad... i love cd...

i wanna talk more in depth from here on out so spoilers under the cut! warning thoughts very disjointed. and i havent seen absolutely Everything the game has to offer yet (havent done any of the side stories, we'll do them soon probably) so if my takes are disproven by anything ive yet to see please do not tell me htank you

first off OHHH MY GODDDD THIS GAME IS SO MUCH LESS CREEPY ABOUT THE MINORS AND ITS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO DANGANRONPA. its not perfect, of course, i do not entirely love the jokes(???) about keiji (known grown adult man) going on dates with sara (known teenage girl), but like, this game does not make me feel gross all the time? thank u nankidai for not making your teacher character with a close relationship with one of his former students a groomer! the bare minimum! im gonna hit kodaka with a stick this should not be a point in the game's favor.

anyway! ended chapter 2 with Reko and Sou (shin) alive, ended chapter 3 having lost Reko .. . :( shes my favorite... i was so sad... ranmaru we're not friends anymore/.... you suck... you killed my best girl... we um, did make a grand total of 175 save files though, so at some point me and the friend i played with are gonna go back and scrub through anything and everything that we missed. maybe after we do the side stories though, not sure yet. reko yabusame i swear to god i will crawl into the screen and kill ranmaru myself for you. i will save you. i love you so much mwah

for years ive only known midori as The Guy That Kids On Danganronpa Discourse Instagram Put Overdramatic Yet Also Somehow Extremely Haphazard Trigger Warnings on every post that included him, so i was really excited to meet him. and boy he did not disappoint this guys NUTS!!! HES CRAZAY!!!!!!!! he has such a perfectly striking look about him. i love how he almost never stops looking straight at you, and how his suit is stark black so it obscures a lot of his shape when he's in the dark, its so cool. they absolutely nailed the atmosphere whenever you're around this guy.

but the first jumpscare when he like reaches out at you from the coffin just kinda made me laugh. me when i get you

also, if you're this far in to care about my opinions on games you probably know that i am Known Danganronpa V3 Hater. i think in particular Kokichi Ouma is way too good of a character for how dogwater the game's actual plot is, and Shin Tsukimi, while not being the same, obviously, scratches that itch of a guy trapped in a death game that spends all his time lying and living under a persona because he's afraid of dying perfectly While Being In A Game That Doesnt Make Me Feel Like Eating Sheet Metal . i love this dude and his ugly several clashing colors outfit. he wants my ass like mega dead right now but thats not important surely

also, i think its sweet that joe and sara are just best friends and they rarely ever even entertain the idea that they had romantic feelings for each other. i think its extra sweet and tragic that joe was able to tell sara he loved her in the end, meaning it as his best friend. and the way the game completely ceases showing you flashbacks of him after that point and just lets the image of the hallucinations replace his actual memory overtime is so good and haunting. this doubled down by the way her memory of him is completely locked up as soon as she starts trying to actually remember the way he really was, its so good.

i think thats all i have to say for now, but umm!!! really really good im excited to go back and fill in the gaps i missed. especially regarding kanna becasue i have a lot of theories about her that i hope im on the right track about #lol. but even if i dont i want to see her i miss her. yaay!!! i love when video games are good. i love you video games.

ill probably make more posts down the line with more thoughts after i let them marinade in my brain for a while... mostly when i have thoughts ive been sending them to the friend im playing with so we can discuss theories together LOL

[zukkacore]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

ANYTHING ANYTHING AT ALL ABOUT THE LOVERS UNIVERSE OR ANYTHING AT ALL

Hiiiii truly sorry friend this literally took so long!!!!!!!!!!!! b/c i sat here wracking my brain abt what tf i wanted to talk abt and i got all distracted by wanting to finish Biggest Lie and. i decided to just do what i did last time and. Just go over everything that was a reference or not to something else within Almost b/c I do think that is the easiest way to comb over this gd fic from head to toe. If i don't finish in one go I'll just reblog w/ additions and tag you in

"You're in love, aren't you?" / "You've been sighing all day" I've talked about this before, it's actually a pull from Howl's moving castle. Easily one of the most shameless things i've pilfered and it doesnt even really have a meaning, I just think the exchange is funny.

When J2 approaches, Porter Cliffbreaker lights up with the most insufferable, self-satisfied grin J2’s ever seen in his short life. “You’re early,” he practically purrs. - (In ch 3 for context. This is Porter seeing J2 for the first time.) Obviously we're continuing the Hadestown motif of "you're early" "I missed you". This is again part of the Porter n Jace whole Thing of like. Jace breaking up with him (not in the Big Break but you know). Obviously part of the reason Porter is being so smug is that he thinks Jace is coming crawling back to him. Lol. He thought, didn't he?

"I’m in the correct place, right?” / J2 turns to a tiefling girl in a plaid skirt and a ripped band shirt who is strapping bass guitar to her chest. “Hey, kid. Am I in the right class?” This is a weird pull but this is actually Twelfth Night to me, the scene where Viola first meets Olivia. I just think it's so funny when Viola comes in and doesn't know whether Maria or Olivia is the lady of the house. "The honorable lady of the house, which is she?" / "Most radiant, exquisite, and unmatchable beauty—I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loath to cast away my speech—" etc etc. There's a lot of Twelfth Night influence just b/c there's a lot of like mistaken identity stuff and being in love with someone while they're in love with someone else etc etc all that good stuff. I also think the scene where Viola has to woo olivia is just like. Hot. To be fair tho, J2 is kinda doing the opposite here, he's letting Porter down easy abt the breakup. It's a loose pull but i like the idea of J2 being so out of his element he doesn't even know he's in the right place.

“ What are you?” “I… can’t say. An olive branch? A… A best kept secret, maybe. Between you and the guy up top.” “A secret?” “A parting gift.” But also “What am I?” “That. But also why are you here? A beat. “I’m…” Finally, J2 settles on, “A messenger?” and “It’s—he wants to insist he’s not at war, here.” “Well, that’s a damn shame" is so this Twelfth Night exchange to me:

^^^ to elaborate (sorry i didn't wanna type it out): Idk the viola n olivia vibes in this whole scene not just this part are so flirtaeous and i liked the mentions of war and divinity. Like Porter is the god of war and yet the clones existing as this kind of olive branch. And there's this question of What J2 Is. And there isn't really an answer to that. I liked this idea of him being a secret. A gift. The line "to your ears divinity, to any others profanation" was just. ough.

I'll do this like. It's a big block of text so:

The fluorescence flickers. Mindless, as if purely out of routine, he makes his way over to the sink, to the cabinets full of mugs and glasses. J2 spots Jace’s immediately—it’s purple, with a slogan from his favorite podcast. He snatches it by the handle and throws it against the floor, where it shatters into a million pieces. He thinks about Jaceprime, and about being Dispelled. Despite the fear he can feel rising in his chest, making it hard to breathe, he thinks for another long moment. What a satisfying crash. He wonders if his fear of oblivion is unique to simulacra, or if it's something Jaceprime also has to grapple with every day. He wonders about the weird glowing gem in his chest, and how Jaceprime always refers to a time Before, with him and The Big Guy, but refuses to say outright what happened. He thinks about Porter—and of rage. He stares at the shattered pieces of the cup on the ground. And after a moment of serious contemplation, he grabs another mug off the shelf, and he does it again.

Anyway^^^: That's a reference to The Haunting of Hill House! Both the show and the movie. Theodora says it in both versions. Here's the anecdote I love so much:

“When I was a child,” Theodora said lazily, “—'many years ago,‟ Doctor, as you put it so tactfully—I was whipped for throwing a brick through a greenhouse roof. I remember I thought about it for a long time, remembering the whipping but remembering also the lovely crash, and after thinking about it very seriously I went out and did it again

The variation from the show also includes something along the lines about "I learned a lot about my own mother that day. Taught her, too." which I completely forgot is such a movie special but. I think was also so vital to why I loved that line and wanted to include a nod to it. Like. I've already talked about this but i wanna reiterate that I do not feel bad making motherhood comparisons w/ Jace and the clones b/c he is their creator! He is their frankenstein! Anyway, the imagery of like, getting satisfaction out of doing something destructive, and then doubling down out. Even if you get repercussions from your parent. Or maybe because of that. Maybe spite is the motivator. It was so striking. I think we tend to get this perception of J2 as this soft baby boy but this is one of my fav moments of his because it's so impotent and petulant. It's so him trashing a bathroom to have some semblance of power. J2 has so little power, but he can destroy Jace's favorite mug! (also, yes it was a complicated woman podcast mug. Also in IYWD Jace mentions the fact that he started bringing crappy mugs to work bc his kept disappearing and this was kinda a nod to that.)

"I—Fuck, Porter! Why don’t you just tell me what to do!" Ok, this is also pretty broad. Pulling from a few things here. I mean. This is very Pearl-coded to me. I still think about that scene to garnet where she says "I'm useless on my own. I need someone to tell me what to do". Also Please don't laugh, I have an old Hugh grant comedy that's my favorite and there's a scene where the son is having an argument w/ his mom and when he says "Because we never have any discussions, we have an argument, and you always win! Why don't you just tell me what to do" and she goes "Because I want you to think for yourself!" and then he's like fine then mom its not up to you if hugh grant is my friend even if he did pretend to have a two year old son so he could sleep with the single moms at the single parent support group. I love this movie btw. which i've already said like the paternal connotations to godhood mean i don't feel TOO bad when Porter's vibe gets weird and paternal. There's also a definite "I want someone to tell me what to wear in the morning. I want someone to tell me what to wear every morning fleabag vibe. I mean. Who said that.

“I—I’m not a consolation prize, Porter,” I think this is technically broad enough to not be a when harry met sally reference, but Sally does say this to Harry when he's trying to apologize to her and he's basically like "lol if neither of us have a date to the new york party we can go together" which. If that's not the vibe for whats going on. Filling in a spot because the other person is lonely.

“I want you. I’m only here for so long, and all I know is. I like you, ok?” and “I think you’re right.” J2 is working to keep his voice steady. “We both know that I was made for you. Literally. But more importantly… I like you. I know that much.” This is such a weird pull but this is such a Parks and Rec "I love you and I like you" (evil version) for me. I think there's such an interesting distinction between like and love. There's something so sad about J2 trying to insist, to me anyway, that he would also choose this even if he wasn't destined to love Porter due to being Of Jace. Love is destiny, but "like"? Like has the connotation of. Friendship. New feelings, innocence, juvenile. Just enjoying each other's company. J2 has so little, and he enjoys being around Porter. He loves Porter, but he likes him. It's... almost... adolescent. But it's also very. Forget the sweeping romance. I would do laundry and taxes with you.

“I like you, too, Bluejay.” I mean. Barely a reference but we all know Bluejay is so Hey, little Songbird coded from hadestown. I've joked about this but legit i was so so so so so terrified to give J2 a nickname to individualize him b/c i was so scared of completely blowing it. And I was just like. This is BARELY an individualization. He likes blue. Is that the dumbest thing ever. Obviously the concept of ownership is so prevalent in almost, and J2 is so comforts of a gilded cage coded. He's the precious gift, the one who learns to love the cage that Jace rejects. He's ESPECIALLY hey little songbird coded to me, b/c it's about Jace running away (Persephone) and Porter finding someone else to replace him (Eurydice).

“Hey. What’s with the silent treatment?” says Porter. “Cat gotch’er tongue?” Um. Hey. Little songbird. Cat got your tongue? Always a pity for one so pretty and young... No excuse.

I'll pair it with Porter rises from his desk, and J2 is in the embrace of his arms. and It feels so good being in Porter’s arms. and “I can make it go away,” says Porter, so softly—tenderly—even as he tightens his grasp on J2, secure. etc etc. Because that's not like. As on the nose but that's ALL Hadestown comforts of a gilded cage imagery. Someone who could love these walls that hold her close, and keep her safe, and think of them as my embrace. etc etc. Just. This idea of J2 running away from somthing and straight into the trap that was so heartbreaking to me. "Strange is the call of this strange man. I wanna fly down and feed at this hand. I want a nice soft place to land. I wanna lie down forever." etc. Even as he's getting this like. Horrible revelation about the truth of what Porter did to jace, and he's feeling this new fear that this could be him, he was built to find comfort here. He was raised to find comfort here. Porter wants everything. And J2 owns nothing, not even himself. "Seeing as you've got nothing to lose, and I could use a canary"

To go to something... maybe funnier? Maybe not. Again. Silly pull. J2 sniffs. Finally, he braves a look up, blinking back tears as he says, “Can… you just hold me a little longer?” Porter’s smile makes him forget all else. “Of course.” Like. This doesn't take place in chapter 7, but to me, this is the smoking gun that J2 and Porter were always going to sleep together (i mean, they already have, but in a Mega Turbo Detect Thoughts Sex Trick Orgasm Way). This is actually something from When Harry Met Sally! Sally says this to harry when she's crying about her ex getting married. And he holds her and gives her a kiss and this is the first time they sleep together. Like this is so Hurt/Comfort (evil version) of that scene to me, and the nature of like, comfort that turns into sexual tension is fascinating to me. And like. There's something so comedic and pathetic and cloying about the way she asks it too. Like. The desperation but also the slight comedy of it.

I'll also say, if you wanna read this into it too. I do this this is All I've Ever Known (evil version). "all i've ever known is how to hold my own, but now I wanna hold you, hold you close, I don't wanna ever have to let you go. Now I wanna hold you hold you tight, I don't wanna go back to the lonely life" etc etc

 “He still loves you, you know.” / Jace is... “ —A good guy,” he insists hard, / “I—I know we are… of the same. But—I don’t understand it. If—” / “Porter, gods, Porter, if I loved you the way my master loves you…” / "How does he love me?”  OK. So this entire scene is a little bit Handmaiden coded in that it's like. Ohhhh what if we were fucking and I was pretending to do this in service of teaching you what the person you're supposed to be with and what they would do this is just instructional i prommyyyyy.

But Also this whole Thing to me I was taking on a kind of. Like. Reverse Twelfth Night thing? Like, the concept is very much closer to Orsino and Viola's deal, in that Viola loves Orsino while Orsino loves olivia (Say that some lady, as perhaps there is, hath for your love as great a pant of heart as you have for Olivia! You cannot love her, you tell her so. Must she not then be answered?". "I am all the daughters of my father's house. And all the brothers too") But I do really like the idea of Viola having to convey the depth of Orsino's longing for Olivia by using her own pining for Orsino. That's littered throughout this scene. There are a ton of nods to the exchange. "How does he love me" is a direct quote. There's also this:

If I did love you in my master’s flame, With such a suff’ring, such a deadly life, In your denial I would find no sense. I would not understand it.

But yeah it's this idea of like. J2 is channelling jace and getting extremely horny about it. He's imainging the depth of Jace's longing and he finds it genuinely moving. He things Porter deserves that. but also. J2 is using his own longing here, and essentially giving Porter a gift because he knows the depth of that longing would mean more to Porter if it was from Jace. Which of these is the truth? Maybe both

"With adorations. With fertile tears. With groans that thunder love. With sighs of fire" This is the only thing that is like. A direct quotation of something Viola says in Twelfth Night, and I just think its so horny and honestly? Effective. Why ruin a good thing?

OK! Last one!

J2 is getting what he wants. He gets to be by Porter's side, despite the risk. (And in his memories, Jace looks so happy. Doesn't Porter deserve that, too?) So why does this feel like… death? Like he’s dissolving into snow—dissipating in the warmth of the sun? That’s how it works, right? He doesn’t know that much, but it feels true, doesn’t it? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Like.... Am i gonna get stoned for this? Do I have the right in invoke Tony Kushner? Do i deserve this? I'm being so real here, this is one of those "janelle is using paradise lost to talk abt jaceporter" things that just feels deeply WRONG.

Anyway. This is 100% and Angels in America reference. And I... It feels a little wrong to put Jaceporter fanfiction and such a beautiful piece of art in the same breath but here we are. The line is:  "I don’t understand why I’m not dead. When your heart breaks, you should die. But there’s still the rest of you." Like... I just think that line is so sad and beautiful. Am... Am I allowed to do this??? Like. It doesn't feel right. It felt right to put it there. It was so clear in my mind. It just felt so emotionally true... J2 is so green... And it's this like. Invocation that he's a person but he's a simulacra. he's animated snow. How does being a person even work. How does it work when you've been robbed of your purpose?

It's just. That's how it should work, right? When your heart breaks, you should die.

Anyway. Thank you for my long winded nonsense. Genuinely sorry this took so long.

[charliespringverse]

iwbft — tuesday: a brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 136

· ouch/ow/owie: 12

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 5

· aroace: 2

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 9

Rowan is on his front, one arm slung over Jimmy's chest. Jimmy's head is tilted ever so slightly towards Rowan. — i've woken up like this with at least half my friends

The shipping itself isn't a major inconvenience to any of us. If anything, it keeps the fans interested. They think Judgement Day will eventually come and there'll be a big reveal that Rowan and I are secretly in love. There won't. We're not. — @larry shippers in the year of our lord 2023

It's always sort of been Rowan and Jimmy, plus Lister. We still love him of course. But that's just the way it is. — PAIN (note: this is all caps, huge, and triple underlined)

'I talk about The Ark all the time. I don't know why this was a surprise.' 'Fereshteh, it was a little bit of a surprise to me too.' 'Why?' 'I suppose... I suppose I never thought you actually cared about this band that much.' — parents vs actually listening to and validating their interests (failed, always)

Juliet chuckles weakly and looks away. I know she's had some bust-ups with her parents in the past. — understatement of the millennium

I'm an optimist. I like to believe that love exists. — it Does it just isn't always romantic/sexual. but it exists So Much

'I feel bad... feeling so happy when they're probably upset,' — ur so close to getting it queen

'Can't we just go home?' Lister mumbles. 'No,' she says. — foreshadowing innit

Rowan and I follow him immediately, like there's a string attaching us — ... invisible string addition to the folklore trilogy?

Lister tells us to go away, but Rowan just walks up to him and starts rubbing his back as he throws up. — ♡ listerowan bestieism

There's a big window on one side of the bathroom. Big enough to climb out, probably. We're on the ground floor. We could just climb out and run. Get up and go. — FORESHADOWING INNIT

Being trans has been a pretty you can big part of my life so far, thanks, but that shouldn't be particularly relevant here, in an interview about our music. — u can Never escape other ppl's obsession w ur transness

Dave laughs and says again, 'Now that's honesty.' — FUCK YOU DAVE (note: this is all caps, huge, and quadruple underlined)

I ask God to give me a bit of extra patience. Because every time Mac speaks, I sort of want to put an entire bag of cotton wool in his mouth. — what God is for x

Being a male fan of obscure old bands is, for some reason, more acceptable than being a female fan of a twenty-first-century boy band. — (also the obscure old bands are rarely that obscure. they're one direction for old white men)

They know exactly who they are. They put it in their blog about' page, they put it in their Twitter bio. I never know what to put in my Twitter bio so I usually just put an Ark lyric in there. — and when u enter ur confident aro-ace era? what then?

I like to think God does have a plan for everyone. But I also think there's too much shit in the world for all these plans to be perfect ones. Or maybe God doesn't have time to write a plan for everyone. And some of us are just trying our best and getting it a bit wrong. — i think this is why faith doesnt work for me

Everything's still there, though. My journals, my guitar, my main laptop, my childhood teddy bear, and the knife that Grandad gave me when I was sixteen. — now i want to know what he would admit to in one of them essentials interviews

It'd be useless as an actual weapon, since it's completely blunt - you can run your finger along the edge and not even get a scratch. — hhhh foreshadowing innit ☹

Not that he particularly goes seeking it. Everyone just wants to be friends with Lister Bird. — and yet he cares most abt getting closer to the two he shouldn't have to try for ☹

David [Tennant] thought she wanted a selfie, when in fact she was just trying to find the nearest toilet. — iconic

'Now, there'd better be some fucking Capri-Suns somewhere around here.' — me @ every function

When they were together they both seemed to stop worrying about everything else in their lives - Rowan was no longer an overworked band boy and Bliss was no longer a struggling student. They were just together. — ☹ justice for laimondi

Then he leans in and presses his lips against mine. Oh. Okay. Fine. This is fine. Can't say I realised this conversa- tion was going in this direction, but fine. — BAD (note: this is all caps, huge, and double underlined)

'But we're gods, Jimmy. What's better than that?' — pain. suffering. agony. heartache. torture, torment, anguish.

Holding it makes me feel real. It reminds me that I was born. That my life is something other than this birdcage I'm trapped in. Isn't it? Isn't it? — has his therapist ever discussed depersonalisation with him?

[hadescabin]

as much as i love the series, one thing that sorta frustrates me about tbhk is how little fleshed out some characters feel even though they're in the spotlight. someone else brought it up on here but i wanted to expand out on it a little bit, where it feels like yeah, characters like aoi, akane, and even nene, don't seem to be seeing much developments. akane can be chalked up for the fact that he's sorta meant to be comic relief, and his relationship with aoi is by extension mostly exaggerated as a result of this. while we've SEEN some development happen between the two because of past chapters, it's not really anything substantial? same thing with nene, it seems like she hasn't really budged much since her confession to hanako. she's back to the same (or at least a similar) problem and seems to have made little to no progress since then. we spend the last few chapters seeing her trying to figure out a way to have a discussion with hanako about the state of their relationship, even though it makes little to no sense on why she'd be this way when they've both made it abundantly clear that they liked each other and even went as far as to kiss. like there is little to no room on how both sides confessing their romantic feelings for one another before kissing should warrant this b plot conflict confusion, or at least a conflict that spans for a good several chapter. especially when that scene was meant to be representative of them both opening up to each other. if anything, that discussion should've happened there or the chapter after it because it's like come on girl, how are you STILL doubting that he likes you.

akane is also a big victim of this, where his character isn't that fleshed out. it doesnt make sense to me since he's been playing a big role in the past 30 chapters or so, and had chapters dedicated to his and aoi's relationship with one another. yet we're just supposed to accept that yep, akane is hopelessly obsessed with her for no reason and it just happened out of the blue ever since he saw her as a kid. dont get me wrong, it made sense back when he was a gag character, but now that he's taking a much more serious role in the story, has a spotlight, and covered some serious topics with aoi about the nature of their friendship and how horrifically complex and messy it is, it just feels out of place? i know that this comes primarily from the fact that tbhk is pretty silly, especially in the early chapters, but i feel that the author is talented enough to work around this, as they've done so already several times within the series. i wish we got more of an explanation of akane's character outside of him being obsessed with aoi, why he dislikes supernaturals so much outside of a few comments, and why he ended up seeing the clockkeepers in the first place when spirits cant make themselves present to anyone who isnt close to death or have exorcism blood. we know its neither because without his glasses he cant see them so its not a nene situation.

now its just back to akane saving aoi when shes in danger, and them having their weird dynamic (albeit toned down, so thats where the development comes from). we dont really get to see them address more outside of being like "oh aoi's hand is a little fucked, we need to take care of that!" we dont really get to see aoi reacting much with the fact that she LITERALLY DIED and came back from the dead and had that whole horrible conflict with her best friends. we dont really get to see her address this with nene and how she really felt about her and their friendship, even though that was a major plot point back during the mirai escaping arc and her being kidnapped. we dont see much of a shift in her dynamic with others and trying to open up and be her true self in front of others. shes just like there i guess and acts like nothing changed. i guess tbf they've been having their festival, and the stuff at the minomoto household was meant to be focused on kou + teru and mitsoukou (both of which were excellently done) but idk, it just feels like we're given all of these plotlines and developments and nothing is being done with them.

its why i sorta have an ooc version of akane and aoi in my head that i really like and is a lot more fleshed out, but i dont really talk about it much here or anywhere really.

[enamation]

if it’s okay can i request nightcord with a reader who’s peppy yet serious and caring and they want to join the group because they’re friends with kanade and what is their reactions?

Hello hallo hello !! Im literally gonna cry I had written this the second i saw the ask and right before i was going to post it i left the app since my parents had texted me and now its ALL GONE :(((, so this has been rewritten, i hope you enjoy !!

Type: Multiple Headcannons

Warnings: None

❥ NIGHTCORD at 25 + Reader: New Member?

headcannons start utc !!

KANADE YOISAKI

You had known Kanade for a while now, actually

You two had met at the music store, when Kanade was looking for a new CD to get inspiration from, she picked one that was made by your favorite group, and you started a conversation from there!!

You learned about what had been going on with her, and how she can get so immersed in music she forgets to take care of herself sometimes

This causes you to always text Kanade and remind her to do certain things for herself

Once you find out about 25-ji, it takes you a few days, but you decide to ask her if you could possibly join

She hesitates and stiffens up slightly once she reads the message

She compared the sekai, the vocaloids, and Mafuyu, to lively, sometimes serious, caring, well.. you

She first thought it might be a recipe for disaster, but she decides to ask the others first that very night before she makes her own decision

Lets find out how they react to you 🤔

❝ Ah- well, it might be a bit difficult, but I'll make sure to mention you to the others. ❞

MAFUYU ASAHINA

I mean, she didn't think that much of you, just kinda saw you as someone Kanade mentioned

When she first met you, she found you a bit annoying..

But as time went on, she suprisingly didnt mind your presence, you were just sort of something brighter than everyone else, and admired (she obviously doesnt know that) the way you can easily switch and become serious when needed

Mafuyu appreciates how you do your best to take care of Kanade and make sure she takes showers, eats, etc.

She doesnt trust you too much yet, so until Kanade decides to show you the Empty Sekai, you'll have to bear with her and her good girl persona

She doesnt mind you becoming a member at all.

❝ Welcome to 25-ji, Y/N. Its great to have you here. ❞

ENA SHINONOME

When Kanade tells the group about you, she doesnt see a reason for you being there

Whats your role 🤨❓ Kanade already is the songwriter, Mafuyu lyricist, She illustrator, Mizuki the video editor, so..... 🤔

As she hangs out with you more and understands your character, she finds comfort in you

Youre lively, youre serious, youre caring, and most importantly, you willingly act as her reference

Drawing around you calms her down alot more, and she loves talking with you even though sometimes you can get a little too happy for her liking

She would love for you to be in the group !!

❝ Thats amazing to hear !! Welcome to 25-ji Y/N !! Dont let Mafuyu scare you away, okay? ❞

You have no idea what she means by that.

MIZUKI AKIYAMA

Mizuki is the only one that thought it wouldn't hurt to have another member! That doesnt mean they don't need to meet you first, though.

Once you two finally met, they almost immediately took a liking to you!

You didnt eye them weird when they teased you, you two could goof off together, and you could take them and other things seriously immediately. Mizuki sees you as (from what they call) a 'focus point'

When they need a break from the group or the world in general, you're one of the first people they go to.

Similar to Ena, they also find comfort in you

Youre such a great person to be around, it was a yes from them before you even spoke.

❝ Yaha! I'm glad to hear you're one of us now! We're gonna have a good time together, Y/N. ❞

[shadowxamyweek]

I've seen some people headcanoning Shadow as someone who can flirt pretty well (probably because of his confident and "suave" aura) and some people that headcanon Shadow as a dork who cant flirt to save his life (probably because he is not a very people-person and doesnt know the cues of how to flirt). What do you think? (Personally I think he knows how to flirt, Rouge is his best friend he must have learned something by watching her, he just doesnt bother to flirt. In a Shadamy context, I see Amy as the one that flirts the most)

Aaaah~! XD XD Oh this is fun!

See, I feel the idea of suave Shadow that we see now is echos of the fandom interpretation of him from when they first came out in 2001. It's so interesting to see that make a comeback in today's fandom interpretation! And it's fun! Like, flirty Shadow- it's a fun thought!

The idea of a Shadow who can't flirt I feel came about more recently. I think that was in tandem with the realization of just how socially awkward the poor creature can be, both with themselves and with others.

Both have merit, value, and canon support, in my opinion! As such, I have a tendency to mix the two, sort of like what you did in your own thoughts showcased in your letter! I like the idea of Rouge teaching Shadow how to flirt, but also, I think it's something he'd want to know the mechanics of at least enough so that he could recognize it.

For example- suppose Rouge has, on occasion, gotten randomly close and mildly grabby with Shadow when some other guy is talking to her. Shadow would, naturally, ask her what is going on.

She'd have to explain to him, 'Hey, that guy was flirting with me, and I was trying to find a polite way to get rid of him.'

Shadow would go '???? Doesn't compute. He was just talking. Also, you could absolutely break his limbs if you wanted to, so why hang onto me? You're going to have to explain this."

Thus, he'd be better prepared in the future to recognize the signs of flirting and be able to not mess up Rouge's socially acceptable defensive maneuvers.

(Even if he's more inclined to a direct and memorable approach for teaching the meaning of the word, 'no.')

On the flipside, suppose Shadow has had conversations with people where he feels he's not picking up on something (especially with Rouge laughing behind him.) Shadow might then ask her to explain, which she would, so that he personally would better understand flirting in a context that directly pertains to advances being made at him.

Though these conversations would, one would assume, ultimately help him when he decides to try and romantically pursue someone... I think he'd fall flat on his face.

See, it's hard to force yourself to do something like this if you normally wouldn't. It's hard to force yourself to engage in a manner of communication or social/physical exchange when you don't normally operate in that wavelength. With flirting, Shadow might know what he wants to say, or how he wants to say something, but I think the guy would stumble especially if we're talking this occurring during a time when he's not sure Amy likes him back yet.

I posted about it on my main how I think the humor dynamic between Rouge and Shadow sometimes works in non-stressful situations (read: sometimes, not always), but there's also a quote at 15:52 in the linked video that goes as follows.

"First impressions. You never get a second chance to make a first impression, but you always get a third chance to go take me on a date... sp, it- a spa- spaghetti."

I can't help but think that, at least while practicing alone to ask her out, this is what would happen XD (Can you imagine if this came out of his mouth while talking to her though? Oh no... XD XD XD)

Once they're officially together, though? I think he'd feel much more comfortable flirting, especially if he gets to see Amy blush and laugh.

(There's nothing like the positive reinforcement of making your partner smile.)

Also you are 100% correct about Amy being the more flirtatious between the two. I also do love the idea of her getting thrown for a loop over Shadow's positive reactions to it XD She probably isn't use to that.

Once again though, I'm down for anything if it's written well and in character, always 🖤💖

[bigb-enthusiast]

OK LET'S GO! i have no idea how long this ramble will be :D

-the au is MAINLY flower ranchers centric, focused on "grian went missing and now they have to find him". he joined a cult (the watchers) is what happened lol. theres lots of plot stuff and martyn bigb and pearl help them along with some other people but for bigb specifically!

-the nosy neighbors are very much Do Not Separate Under Any Fucking Circumstances!

-this is because BEFORE the main plot, they were best friends and ALSO joined the cult. they got fun magic while they were there (pearl can talk to animals and bigb can alter memories/make people want to do stuff they wouldnt normally) but also It Was Literally An Evil Cult.

-bigb was the one to figure it out. he was fooling around with his magic and thought too hard about his and pearls circumstances and basically went "hangon this is bad stuff we're doing here??" (The watchers were making them do bad stuff with their magic. This is Important Trauma Event #1

-he and pearl make an escape attempt and barely succeed bc the watchers tried to mind control bigb sort of and 1) make him not leave and 2) make him make pearl not leave, WITH HIS MAGIC! BY MAKING BOTH OF THEM FORGET EVERYTHING! He snaps, kills a guy or seven, Gets Him And His Bestie The Fuck Out Of There, and loses a bunch of his magical ability in the process! :D Trauma Event #2.

-unfortunately there were even more side effects than this

-he now sometimes forgets what he was doing but with full hours disappearing except for some vague memories. also he randomly lies to people about unimportant things for no reason! This Is On Accident, I Cannot Stress This Enough. also he's not even using his magic then but he keeps rolling nat 20s on charisma soooo (Trama Event(s) #3). fortunately it's only little things like what he ate for breakfast or that he saw a cool bug or what his fav ice cream flavor is. nothing big enough to have serious fallout

-(he still gets very worried about that though, but pearl is there to help him <3 neither of them have told anybody* about anything they went through also so they literally only have each other. theyre just trying to be normal people)

-*we'll get to that later :)

-I mentioned that he lost a bunch of his magical ability! Well he still has enough that he can use magic it just takes a lot more energy and effort and like he can't just wave a hand and someone forgets their entire life (he used to be that strong.) now though he can still fiddle with peoples minds but he HATES doing it bc of what the watchers made him do (im thinking they essentially tried to use him as a recruitment officer??) so in the (so far only one) incredibly rare circumstance he feels forced to actually use magic, he will become incredibly overwhelmed with guilt<3

-Now It's Time For The Fun Part.

-so we all know last life swamprot! there was a betrayal, a fuckton of guilt and sadness, and a Grudge.

-we're fastforwarding to the present, scott has obtained magic and he's close with cleo so he told her just about everything (with him and tango and jimmy at least). scott does not know about anyone else having magic yet. (Martyn also has magic from the listeners, but he's got his own stuff going on.)

-in CLEO'S past, martyn and her had... something going on. but martyn told her about his magic, so when scott told her, she already knew it was A Thing.

-BUT ACTUALLY, SHE EVEN KNEW BEFORE THEN!

-im thinking that one time after bigb had, like, a particularly bad memory/"i'm going to hurt everyone and not even know it" episode, pearl ends up a few days later in her OWN puddle of guilt bc she knows hes only suffering this bad bc she was there with him during all the watcher stuff and she gets drunk or something and goes to cleo to cry and ends up telling them E V E R Y T H I N G

-cleo, being a good friend, doesnt tell anyone anything and when pearl doesnt remember either the next day they think it best to let her forget too lest she panic. so cleo is basically the one friend that knows everyones secrets but none of the friends know about anyone else? later on everyone gets told everything but cleo was stuck with the Curse of Knowledge for a bit (side effect of being a trustworthy friend lmao)

-SO ONE DAY *cue evil laughter*

-one day, after the FRs have some adventure or whatnot, and cleo and bigb are hanging out, cleo decides that maybe it's time to help the nosy neighbors with their insane mental burdens. they try to allude to bigb that they KNOW, thinking that pearl would feel less bad about everything if B was also there to be like "hey man it's cool, i'm not mad at you" and all.

-B Fuckign Panics Again

-TIME FOR BIGB'S MAGIC ISSUES TO COME INTO PLAY AGAIN :D

-bigb, in this now-panic, makes cleo forget everything about HIM and magic. imagine "all instances of 'bigb' and 'magic' in the same thoughts or memories disappearing" type stuff. unfortunately cleo's known for long enough and still remembers pearl and martyn and scott and knows what bigb's power is and bigb just isnt thorough enough in a panic and his magic isnt strong enough to cover the gaps so when she blinks back into the present she Knows What He Did. and shes MAD

-(she knows why he did it, but she doesnt understand why he wouldnt trust her, but ESPECIALLY why even though he was SO scared of ever hurting anyone with his magic, he was willing to erase her memory without a second thought)

-This is Trauma Event #4

-now, he actually DID have a LOT of second thoughts. it took him a mental debate and a LOT of apologizing before and while he did it but he erased cleos memory of THAT in the process.

-and she doesnt have the backup memories to get that part back. so that's a tiny bit of miscommunication but it actually works well (i think)

-now once everything gets explained, for the most part everything gets cleared up, but bigb thinks cleo DOES remember him apologizing bc she remembered everything else, and cleo is mad at him because she DOESN'T, but that's mostly just a little bit of extra tension between them. everything else is fine

-(cleo martyn and nosy neighbors have the Important Informational Conversation before the FRs are made aware of any of their stuff though)

-theres still more but it's like scattered in bits and pieces that require a lot more explaining and this ask is long enough already LMAO

DO YOU LIKE WHAT I HAVE SO FAR :DDD

THIS IS WO COOL OMG WTF HRBWHICHWBCJEHCBEBGKFOJW

[maehemthemisfit]

MUTUALS

This is a LOT and probably half of it doesn't make any sense and looks like gibberish but yk what thats fine. Sorry I couldn't fit everyone!

@clovers-garden-co - my first ever moot, my one and only, bae, love of my life, my beloved, and the person who helped me make this blog so BIG SHOUT OUT to them!! ALSO CHECK OUT THEY'RE BLOG THEY DESERVE SO MUCH LOVE 💕💖💘

@fitzkn - my dawg, my guy, my fam, he's canonically a cat and part of the menace society. If you ever see me rb a convo with him, 9 times outta 10 it's gonna be something... idek how to explain it but you might laugh, you might cry, you might log out and rethink your life on this app. Conversations can range from genshin to a lawn mower don't ask me cause I have no words. He's also a talented writer an artists but will never admit it. If you're a fan of angst and genshin, I recommend digging through his blog and finding a fic called butter knife... I was in tears. HIS OTHER WORKS ARE CHEF KISS TOO MWAH

@some-stale-bread - we don't interact much but they're one of the OGs who welcomed me when I first started my blog. They're really cool and they're a good artist so check them out some time!

@senjusonlygirlfriend - we go way back, though we didn't interact much in those early moments. They're an amazing writer and friend and I love chatting with them <33

@path-of-yaksha - we also been moots for a while but I got hella confused bc you changed your url. They're a pretty chill system even though we don't interact much

@y-umiko - fell in love with their blog aesthetic <3 wish we interacted more. They like genshin and TR so it's a yes for me

@mansplain-manipulate-malewife - I don't know how this happened, but it did and I don't regret it. I feel like im falling through portals from rick and morty whenever I open their blog. It's a nice change of scenery. Hii Alex, hope you're doing well

@official-megumin - The best wizard in tumblr so powerful I had to follow. IDK WHAT CHECKMARKS MEAN AND WHY IS THERE MORE THAN ONE??? EXPLAIN??? She's cool, though I rarely see them when im active

@oddshroom - MY GURL, MY G, MY SHROOM- MUSHROOM? HAMVKTIRLOE. ANOTHER ONE PART OF MENACE SOCIETY. They're an awesome person, really sweet, amazing writer, we also speak in code 🦞 but you'll never know what we're saying. They gang fr doe 💅🏾✨

@dorothy-rainbird - WE DONT INTERACT ANYMORE *sobs* or have we ever? I see you in my notifs a lot though so you're part of the misfit gang. RESPECTT. Wish I seen you on my dash more tho :')

@vellichxrr6782 - HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU HUGGING YOU. You're really sweet and I wish we talked more <33 I wish you the best my friend

@cross-crye - ANOTHER AMAZING WRITER HELLO??? They bouta put me on twst fr im this 🤏🏾close into falling down the simp rabbit hole. HELLO SETH I ALSO WISH U THE BEST

@omori-1 - daily reminder that I need to finish watching omori... I PROMISE I WILL AJUFKRI. VIRGO GANG. TALENTED CREATOR GANG. IF I COULD EAT THEIR BLOG I WOULD. Put it inna air fryer and drizzle some sauce on afterwards yum. Another one part of menace society. LOVE YA CHAI, YOU DESERVE THE WORLD AND THEN SOME

@xiao6ao - My love. My life. My will to write. MY LOVELY EDITOR. MWAH MWAH I LOVE YOU. She's my life support for real and also deserves the world and good fortune and just Nbhvgtdikmk This world shall know pain if anything happens to her. AMAZING WRITER YET ANOTHER ONE WHO DOESNT ADMIT IT. Grammarly 2.0. Always come in clutch. Menace society CEO. AHH I LOVE YOU PLEASE TAKE CARE

@atskas - MY FAM. TALENTED AUTHORS ALERT. TIMEZONES SUCK FR BUT I STILL LOVE THEM. Another one locked in, in the menace society, rip their sleep schedule. HI ARII ILY- HIARIILY... That actually looked like one word- GIRL I WISH YOU THE BEST MWAH

@lunartcmpest - it's always the aesthetic blogs that melts my heart. TALENT WRITER ALERT BEEP BEEP BEEP. GO CHECK OUT THEIR BLOG RN OR IM SNATCHING YOUR ANKLES. Wish we interacted more but it's all good. She's pretty cool tho. SHOUT OUTS TO YOU KAIRI, WISH YOU WELL

@alhara - AUTOCORRECT BE DAMNED. HELLO HARA. SHOUT OUT TO ANOTHER UNDERRATTED WRITER. Wish you the best

@albed0kreideprinz - They haven't been active in a min and I hope they're okay, but here's an amazing rp blog for all those interested. They're amazing and really sweet and I hope the world treats them well <3

@araranas - aka @primojade aka TALENETED WRITER aka AMAZING PERSON aka MNJNJENKI I LOVE YOU. TIMEZONES BE DAMNED

@ventisweetheart - IF ONLY I COULD HUG SOMEONE THRU THE INTERNET! You're so sweet and I'm glad we're moots and I always look forward to our interactions

@micheya - I dont know why and dont ask me, but if I could squish you like a gummy bear I would... IT MIGHT BE THE AETHER PFP IDK. We don't interact much but <333

@1eaf-me-alone - This year, I think you should turn a new 1eaf... g-get it BECAUSE MUYGITKR,ICRLT. Forgive me, I had to. PFF S,MUTFR THEY'RE REALLY COOL CHECK THEM OUT. HI HELLO HRU. I love our interactions please dont block me for my Cyno jokes, I'll 1eaf you alone if you- AUMSUFKRDE IM SORRY I CANT HELP IT!!

@scaranya - the fact that I had to basically type your full name out because scaranation is so big on tumblr... N E WAYS, RECENT MOOT HERE. Love to see your comments <3 Please stay safe and well!

@qingxin-dream - ENVIOUS OF YOUR WANDERER KEYCHAIN GRRR GRRR SUNYUFKRIKRCF. Another great writer here, please check them out!

@sweet-almonds - COMFORT WRITER BC ANGST BREAKS MY HEART. SHE'S AWESOME AND SWEET AND I ADORE YOUR BLOG

@enassbraid - Yall with these url changes. I HAVE BAD MEMORY OKAY! She's lovely okay and deserves the moon and back

@wanderersbell - WWEEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO TALENT WRITER ALERT, YES OFFICER? RIGHT THERE -> YOU'RE LITERALLY SO AMAZING AND FUN TO TALK WITH IM SO GLAD WE CROSSED PATHS EEEE PLEASE I FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR WRITING EVERYDAY I WISH U THE BEST

I KNOW IM MISSING A FEW AND IF I CAN I'LL ADD THEM LATER BUT MY HANDS ARE GETTING TIRED AND SORRY IF SOME OF THE THINGS IVE SAID WAS REPETTITIVE I TRIED MY BEST

@cynotical - RECENTLY BECAME MOOTS BUT IVE BEEN A FAN FOR AWHILE ✨✨✨ Another talented writer please check them out as well as their other blog!!! THEY'RE AWESOME AND SUCH A LOVELY PERSON TOO

@sonder-paradise - idk how but their writing manages to break me down and put me back together again every time like— UGHHH I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. Talent writer alert x20. Should have 2 novels and an ongoing series already because wth

[alessiasblood]

LITTLE SECRET (1)

Warning:explicit and suggestive language, fuckboy!ellie, toxic!ellie, petnamass,etc.

You are a wealthy upper side teenage girl, 17 years old, at a private highschool. You're aime to study in France next year in your school's pretigious exchange program. Your best friend Lilith, also hopes to go with you. You two have been been best friends since childhood, and as the year passed by you two became more and more close, strengthening your friendship. Although you have a "good girl" reputation, you often feel lost in your bubble. Your parents are on the edge of divorce, do not speak with each other anymore, they barely speak to you. Altough teenage girlhood life must be hard sometimes, and that in many aspects, you cant really complain since you go to private school,you're rich and your mother is a politcian and your father is a bussinesman. You need to wear the uniform everyday to school, have the best grades and study a lot. You're beauty and brains, quiet and modest. But no one knows you're little stupid dark secret.

Ellie Williams.

Shes the one who drives you crazy all the time. The one who you're deeply in love with, yet have to hide your feelings. This has been going on for such a long time. You cant even recall when. You and Ellie have been nothing but friends with benefits. Nothing less and nothing more. However, you always wished it was more, so much more. But you very well knew shes not the person who can give you what you want. Yet the desire for her never vanished. You and Ellie know each other since you were kids. You enjoyed each other's company pretty much, but as you startet to get older, you grew up apart. What is even more frustrating is that she is the one you love, and she is your best friend's sister. Ellie doesnt love anyone, barely likes anyone at school. Altough she is dating one of the popular girls in the higschool, Blair,shes still secretly sleeping with you. You know that she is dangerous and not to be trusted. Shes cheating on her girlfriend with you,and you start to get fed up being her little secret.

It was Monday, you woke up due to the strong sunlight shining trough the window in your room. You woke up panicked, you thought you're late for school. The clock on the wall indicated 8:05 am. You had one hour left to get ready. But there is one single problem next to you. Ellie. Who is sleeping and hasn't been woke up by the noises you were making in your agitation.

"Ellie" You called her name, shaking her shoulder. You had to wake her up for school too. You called her name once again, she moved from her side to her back and slowly opened her eyes.

"We're gonna be late" You told her. Ellie grabbed her t shirt from the floor and quickly dreses up, along with her jeans. You desperetaly tried to help her as fast as possible, pushing her from the back.

"I'll see you at school" She said as she runned out of your room. She had to make sure no one saw her leaving. This happend pretty much all the time, it was somehow frustrating and started to get annyoing yet you loved Ellie and couldnt give up on her that quick. You put your uniform on, tied your hair in a ponytail and went to the kitchen to greet your mother. When you arrived at school, your main destination was Lilith and your other friend, Tyson. As you walked trough the hallway full of students, you walked past Ellie, being as usually with her friend group, and her girlfriend Blair of course. You tried to ignore her and continue to walk further, reaching your locket, and there was Lilith and Tyson laughing about something.

"Where the hell have you been blondie?" Lilith smiles at you.

"Sorry,i totally overslept,i forgot to set my alarm" You explained as you opened your locket and grabbed some books.

"Girls, i gotta go, i have baskebtall practice first, you know hoa Mr.Clerk is." Tyson said and hugged both you and left. You were left alone with your best friend. Who was looking towards Ellie's friend group who stand just a few meters away from you.

"Ellie is looking towards us, what does she want?" She asked

"I dont know and i dont care" You put your textbooks inside your backpack.

you were upset cause she promised to talk to you at school and now she pretends you dont even exist. You hated her. So much.

"Lilith, we are gonna be late, come on" You said and started to walk away. You were started to get annoyed. You refused to tell your best friend your personal matter with Ellie. It hurt you more when you talked about it. So you always kept it a secret. After classes you Lilith and Tyson deiced to hang out again at Lilith's place. As the theree of you started to eat dinner at the table, you talked about random things and Tyson kept making jokes about how Lilith and Ellie are so much alike. But you can indeed agree. Afterall they are sisters. You smiled as you took another bite from my plate, and you heard the front door open. You look up to see Ellie and her girlfriend Blair, walking towards you. Shes so pretty and popular, you always had a deep jealousy towards Blair, mainly because she had Ellie and you didn't. But she doesnt know the truth afterall. Ellie gave you a small wave as her girlfriend untangled their interwined hands and walked towards you.

"If you dont mind" Blair bend over the table and grabbed and olive from Lilth's plate, all you could focus on was the way her wavy blonde hair was bouncing.

"Please" Said Lilith,you couldnt tell if she was irritated by her or not. Anyways, Blair always did whatever she wanted and no one would care. But you did.

She walked back towards Ellie and grabbed her hand again, your pulse was quick and anger started to build in you. She dragged Ellie along with her towards the living room, and the house being openspace, you could see them, and Ellie gaves you a look back before following her girlfriend. You completely lost your mind.

"She can bring home whoever she wants but mom and dad wont allow me." Lilith complained, continue eating. You glanced back at them, they were now sitting on the couch together. Blair pulled out her phone and so did Ellie. They started taking selfies.

"God Lilith, stop it with this feminism" Tyson teased.

"It is not feminism!" Lilith replied rolling her eyes. They kept talking but you couldnt hear anything, it was like the time stopped. You guessed seeing her here with someone else really made you sick to the stomach and you felt like you may throw up aswell.

"Excuse me" You said and get up from the table, walking towards the bathroom. You really need to put your shit together. You felt Ellie's eyes on you but you didnt flinch. "God when is this all going to end?" You thought.

(something related to this fanfic!) xoxo!