#weird that there are 2 meditation posts here

[bachirasbodyguard]

bllk x reductress

(bllk x the onion)

[pharawee]

It's Friday Sunday, and that means it's time for more omegaverse shenanigans. 🥳

Sadly, this will be my last Pit Babe novel commentary post for a while because the main story only has 25 chapters. But worry not! Apparently there's a few extra chapters and if anything significant happens you'll be the first to know (but don't be surprised if it's just chapter upon chapter of kinky sex - that's just how Daddy and Papa Charlie and Babe roll).

If you want to catch up, you can find parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 here.

As for this part - expect major spoilers, shenanigans (both omegaverse and not), family reunions, family reunions... and fun card games. But more on that later.

For now, let's get back to Babe, who's apparently rich enough to own a white Ferrari. Show-off. He's currently on his way back to Khun Tony, and he's such a brat about it that he fools the guards into letting him through. Things escalate from there. Babe threatens to bring Tony to justice once and for all, to which Tony reacts with mild bemusement. He's no longer interested in Babe since he's lost his powers, and he even taunts him with Charlie's (supposed) death. No, Tony didn't want Charlie dead. He merely wanted to incapacitate him in order to bring him back home (because car accidents are such a precise science...). It's a pity that Charlie died but, really, at least he's free now. Or something.

This man must have stupid amounts of money to throw at all of his plans because, quite honestly, they're shit. Oh well, at least we know where Way learned his... well, unnecessarily long-winded (TEN YEARS!!) ways.

Babe has heard enough but sadly Kenta steps in before he can get his hands on Tony. This leads to more taunting and the appearance of Way, who casually slings Babe over his shoulder and forcibly removes him from the premises. Which leaves the guards like, "who tf even was that weirdo?" Oh, to be a guard in Khun Tony's employment...

(photoshop is my passion)

Meanwhile, Charlie (alive and, uh, relatively well) is still busy having his stolen powers exorcised by Babe's long-lost dad (the real one this time). The more he uses a particular ability, the longer it takes to meditate out of him. No, seriously, Reval and Charlie are basically just sitting in a room mind-palacing the powers away. Apparently it's very draining.

They also talk about Charlie's guilt, and how he believes it's best to stay away from Babe as not to hurt him again. Sure, he could leave the final decision to Babe but even that, he fears, might be selfish of him as that leaves Babe with the burden of having to decide in the first place. No matter what he does, it will cause Babe both happiness and pain - just like when Charlie's initial selfishness brought him closer to Babe and then almost drove him away entirely. Charlie's mind is going in circles. He's so protective of Babe that he doesn't realise - no matter his intentions, no matter his inaction - he can't untangle himself from the hurt he's already caused and will cause going forward.

Oh, and by the way? That moment when Charlie "died" in the hospital and Babe thought he was getting his powers back and had to listen in on every excruciating detail of Charlie's body shutting down? Yeah, turns out that was Charlie causing (mass) hallucinations and slowing down his body functions. Poor Alan had to go identify Charlie's body in the morgue while Babe was in such a bad way that he basically stopped functioning.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: what the hell, Charlie, you positively traumatised the poor boy. Could you maybe have kicked the bucket a little less dramatically? Did you really have to enact all of Babe's worst nightmares to make it more convincing? Just because you mean well (and didn't do it over the span of TEN YEARS for weird omegaverse breeding purposes) doesn't make it all right.

But more on that later.

Babe has made his way to a safe house. There, he meets Pete - the oldest of Tony's sons and currently AWOL, same as Babe. Pete is adorable, all sunshine and puppies and right-hand man of a local mafia boss. Or something. Because, you see, Pete figured out early on that the only way to leave Tony was to seek the protection of someone even worse. So he started working with the mafia, as you do. Apparently, he's so good at his job that he's convinced them all to go straight. Now he's studying to become a doctor. Oh, and also planning Tony's demise by preparing a really effective presentation.

That's where Babe comes in. Him visiting Tony's mansion was all a distraction - a sleight of hand, if you will. Even though he complains about Way manhandling him (Pete offers to get him a masseuse for the pain) it was all part of their plan:

While Babe distracted the guards by making a big stink, Way snuck into Tony's evil room of plotting (or something) and stole all of his evil data. When he later dragged Babe outside, he used the opportunity to slip the data stick into his pocket. On it there's evidence of all of Tony's evil business transactions. It would be easy to give it to the police, but Pete cautions against it. The evidence would simply vanish - something that has apparently happened many times before. Instead, Pete plans to reveal all of Tony's evil deeds in a way that makes it impossible for anyone to ignore.

We cut to Charlie and Babe sharing a cute moment. Wait, what?

"I've never loved anyone this much before." Babe's voice was soft, as if he didn't really want to accept reality, but he couldn't help but share those feelings with [Charlie]. "I'm afraid that if I love you too much, it will make you uncomfortable. [...] I'm afraid I can't love you as well as you love me."

Is it a dream? A memory? A (shared) vision? Whatever it is, before Babe wakes up from it, he and Charlie share some fundamental truths about themselves. About how Babe doesn't really know how to act now that he's in a relationship because he's never been allowed to be in love. About how he feels vulnerable and unsure, afraid of taking too much instead of giving back. But Charlie reassures him that he likes Babe just the way he is. He feels very loved, and anyway, he's also never loved anyone before so it's not like he has any grounds for comparison.

Meanwhile, Charlie also just woke up. He's given away the last of his powers and he's very exhausted. Jeff is with him to keep him company. Outside, it's just stopped raining. The rain makes Charlie think of Babe because it accompanied them throughout their relationship: when they argued, when they fought, and when they first became boyfriends.

"And the first day you became a normal person, it also rained," Jeff added with a small smile [...]. "But you couldn't see it in time. Only I saw." "Yes, when I woke up, the rain had already stopped." "Maybe that's a good sign." "A good sign?" "Yes," the young man nodded lightly. "Because the rain has stopped. [...] The sky is clear now."

What is this? Allegory? In my omegaverse novel??

There's always been a shadow hanging over Charlie and Babe's relationship - heavy and dark like a rain cloud, constantly reminding them of their past, their powers and the lies it took for them to even meet. Charlie has worked hard to rid them of their powers, and Babe is busy taking action against Tony. Maybe honesty and trust are all that stand in the way of them getting their happily ever after...

Until then, all they have is last night's dream, because as it turns out Charlie shared Babe's vivid memory. Babe's powers were the last to get exorcised and perhaps it created a momentary psychic bond between them. You never know with these omegaverse x-men.

What follows is the moment we've all been waiting for: the grand finale. The Ides of... whatever month this is but I hope Khun Tony gets stabbed to death by all of his adopted children. Et tu Way!

Meanwhile, Khun Tony is throwing a party. And by party I mean a human trafficking auction where he sells off some of his beloved children to fellow rich people. Charming. Why bother with a plan at all? Why not set everything on fire?

Right, because Pete really, really wants everyone to see his presentation.

Currently, Babe is disguising himself as a waiter. We all know waiting (and retail) staff are invisible to most people so no one recognises him except for one lone guard who's so smitten that he asks Babe out on a date.

Pete is also in disguise while Way pretends to be a good son and accompanies Tony for some good old-fashioned evil mingling. Their plan is to disrupt the auction and reveal all of Tony's illegal machinations.

This is a very questionable idea because I don't know about you but if I was at an auction trying to buy a child I'd probably not care if the auctioneer was evil. I'd probably ask for a slice of the evil pie.

Just as Babe is about to set their plan in motion, he's interrupted by Kenta. Uh-oh.

But, much like Pete and Way, Kenta too has had enough of Tony and was just waiting for the perfect moment to act. He assures Babe that he won't interfere. In fact, it was him who let Way into Tony's evil room of plotting to gather all of the incriminating info on him. Et tu Kenta!

"About helping you guys, this is a personal matter. [...] I have a brain, I can think for myself, and I know what to do. [...] But not everyone has many choices. Especially me. I can't make the same choice as you. [...] So, this is the best I can do. [...] You can handle the rest yourself, right?"

And so, Kenta leaves this story (presumably with some of Tony's financial assets) never to be seen again. What a shame. Kim's existence in the series will hopefully fix this.

Meanwhile, the auction is about to begin. I mean, the... uh, fundraising for poor, underprivileged children who also happen to have powers. Everyone's delighted - except for the poor kids who are led on stage one by one and then sold off like priced cattle. The thought alone makes Babe sick. Would the same have happened to him if he hadn't run away that day (no Babe, I thought we had established that you'd have been part of the breeding program...)?

And now, after having watched episode 5 of the tv series, I wonder if this is where the plot will lead us in lieu of the omegaverse plot. Tony mentioned an auction. I wonder if his goal is to sell Babe (and any other of his adopted children) for profit.

Anyway.

Babe's thoughts are cut short by a guard patrolling in front of Pete and his hiding place. Babe decides to check things out but he's quickly overwhelmed by the much stronger guard. He starts choking Babe and things almost go from bad to worse until someone unexpected comes to Babe's rescue.

That someone is Charlie - and there's a short, sweet and intense reunion between them that proves all of his fears wrong:

"I'm sorry." "It's okay," Babe let go of the hug and immediately responded without stopping for a second, his palms framed the other man's cheeks, before kissing his entire face: his forehead, nose, cheeks and lips. "It's okay, Charlie. Really, it's okay." The beautiful alpha hugged the tall young man again while repeating "It's okay" over and over again until the listener felt guilty.

Well, that was easy. But more on that later.

Charlie, Babe and Pete quickly catch up and then join forces. Pete is amazed that Charlie gave up his powers to escape Tony's clutches, going so far as to even fake his death to protect his loved ones. He's also amazed that he'd even dare come here - powerless and without a nifty presentation.

(And also, how does this whole having no powers thing even work? Did Reval - and in turn Charlie when he stole Babe's powers - rewrite Charlie's whole dna? Because how else would that even affect Tony's evil breeding program? And why am I so concerned about the specifics of omegaverse shenanigans? For all I know none of these characters even know or care about dna.)

It's quickly decided - probably due to Charlie's lack of nifty presentations - that they'll continue following Pete's plan. But wait, where is Jeff? There's no way he'd have let Charlie come here on his own!

Back at the auction, another child is led onto the stage to be sold. It's none other than Jeff. The auction grinds to a halt while Tony attempts to save face. This leaves Jeff with enough time to introduce himself and his powers. His name is Jeff, he's a 20-year-old omega and he can see the future.

"In no more than ten minutes, everyone in this room will have the same future." Jeff looked around the room with a bright smile before saying his next sentence which made the entire meeting room fall silent. "That is, death." The little Omega smiled broadly as if his own prediction was very pleasant.

I love Jeff so much. Make them suffer!

He then adds that there's a bomb hidden in the building and it will go off if even one person attempts to leave. Who even needs nifty presentations when you've got... Oracle Omega (no seriously, this is what the novel - or rather, the machine translation - calls him. Maybe it's his code name).

Everyone is then forced to watch Pete's presentation. I really, really hope it looks something like this:

I'm not joking, it has talking cartoon dogs. Interactive talking cartoon dogs overlaid with incriminating voice files of Tony.

Turns out Tony's guests are okay with human trafficking and buying children but they draw the line at violence and murder embezzlement. Everyone is all shocked and clutching their pearls and secretly very glad that their names don't come up in this weird cartoon dog powerpoint presentation.

Tony's acting all cool until the cartoon dogs reveal that this presentation is broadcast live and for everyone to see - this includes live footage of the auction.

But it's never too late to fix your past mistakes so Tony draws his gun on Jeff because he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Luckily, Way quickly intervenes before Tony can fire his gun, but even though Tony's many guards are somewhat suspicious of a little guy with a bomb and someone who hypnotises people for a living, they're quickly overpowered. In the control room above, Charlie, Babe and Pete don't fare much better.

Everything seems lost until there's a loud crash.

It's Alan in a black supercar and he's crashed through the doors leading to the auction hall.

They're on the second floor (it is sadly later revealed that Alan didn't drive up the stairs - the car was already parked in front of the doors because this is what rich people do to impress other rich people, I guess).

But Alan isn't alone. He's brought several other racers, among them Six (Babe's old rival who was probably turned into either Kim or Winner in the series). Six is a powerful alpha who can cause mass hallucinations that are so strong that they're banned by law.

Yeah.

Tony's guards are going down!

Meanwhile, Tony has had enough. He locks down the whole mansion so no one can escape. Charlie, Babe and Pete make their way up to the roof because there might be a skylight without security doors. They have guns, the many guards have guns, but it's okay because this is where Pete enigma powers come in.

You see, Pete has super control over his whole body, meaning that he never misses a shot.

I guess this explains this bit in the series (except for the part where the arrows are all over the place). But also congrats to Way for his future boyfriend with amazing body control.

While Pete is busy being awesome, Charlie and Babe lament the fact that they're probably going to die here when there's so much sex still to be had. :((((

Things are looking dire indeed. They're surrounded and out of bullets. One of the guards takes aim at Babe but before the bullet can hit him Charlie intervenes by jumping into its path. Miraculously, he's okay.

But that's because a few steps away Way has also jumped into the bullet's path and it's hit him instead. Babe is in shock. He hates Way for what he's done but in a way he's still his best friend. While Alan unsuccessfully tries to stop the bleeding Babe comes closer:

"Babe…" Way's dry voice called out his name as soon as he knelt beside him. "This is all I can do." Babe was silent, he just stared at his former best friend's face, tears flowing silently, without him even realizing it. "I know whatever price I pay, it probably won't be enough. But this is all I can do." Way's voice is very soft, as light as his breath. "…. I'm sorry for being a friend like this.."

And then he dies. Babe is inconsolable, sobbing and tightly hugging Way's lifeless body. He's still angry with Way, and he'll never forgive him for what he's done, but he didn't want him to die.

They better change this whole part in the series or I'll riot. I watched Nut Supanut die once in Something in my Room and I still haven't recovered.

Their victory is overshadowed by Way's death. Tony is apprehended alive and taken into custody. His evil alpha trafficking and breeding program is no more.

A little while later, Charlie finds Babe sitting alone in the mansion's garden. They talk, and Charlie apologises once more for letting Babe believe that he was dead. If Babe wants him to, he will disappear from his life and even stop racing cars so that they'll never have to meet again. This is all he can do: give Babe the freedom to decide for himself. But Babe only asks him if he truly wants to leave, and of course Charlie doesn't. And that's that. Babe has made his choice. He has decided long ago that he wants Charlie in his life.

Their long-lasting painful lives ended in the garden of the mansion that raised them to grow up like caged animals, allowing them to meet and fall in love. Today, everything has ended. It ended with the falling rain washing away their blood stains, sweat and tears, as well as a sweet kiss that he had been thinking about for a long time, making him feel able to stand in the rain without feeling afraid.

Oh, the rain allegory (and also oh, the bad machine translation)!

The novel ends quietly with Way's funeral, eerily similar to Charlie's fake funeral a few weeks prior. It's attended by the same handful of people. Even the clothes they wear are the same (which is convenient, I guess, but also... ouch!). Despite his many wrongdoings, people loved Way - and this includes Babe. And as it turns out, it was Way who got rid of whoever caused Babe's racing accident. He never told anyone about it.

Babe stays behind with Charlie and mourns his friend. He recognises that his feelings of friendship and betrayal are both valid and important (and later on it's established that Babe actively works on processing his traumatic experiences with the help of mediaction and therapy - and you know, I really appreciate the novel's nuanced approach to a character's mental health. It's an incredibly rare thing to see in Thai BL and an even rarer thing in most kinky stories). He won't forgive Way but...

"In the next life, please be kind to me. Don't deceive me again [...} Be a good friend, idiot!"

Which is as much of a peace-offering as anyone can hope for - wishing to meet each other again in the next life under better circumstances. Negl, I teared up because it's such a bittersweet thing to say. 😭

Meanwhile, Alan and Jeff have gone ahead and are talking in the car. Their ending is vaguely romantic (with their growing relationship hopefully developing further in the bonus chapters) but for now, all Alan asks of Jeff is to accept him in his heart as his brother. Please, don't phi nong me, novel!

And because this is Pit Babe the novel, we get one last drawn out sex scene that consists of Charlie trying to cheer Babe up by suggesting a game of naughty cards. A bit like strip uno, I guess. Naturally, Babe wins, but Charlie is allowed to leave his glasses on - and wear nothing but an apron while he gives Babe the bestest and longest and absolutely mindblowing (yes, there's a lot of blowing too) dicking of his life. Babe, my man, enjoy. You truly deserve it.

The End.

No wait, the novel actually ends with Babe and Charlie racing again for this year's title of King of the Hollow. Charlie is very skilled now, and it's very close but I'm relieved to say that Babe's experience and talent isn't all for nothing and OF COURSE HE FUCKING WINS.

The End.

Hold on, wait. I forgot about the part where Charlie takes Babe to see Reval - his real father. And of course Babe forgives him and it's all very sweet and they live happily ever after.

THE END. For real this time. Except for the bonus chapters. And unless the mpreg happens there (I mean, Jeff and North are technically available...), that's it for the omegaverse shenanigans.

When I first started writing these commentary posts I never thought they'd become so detailed and long - or that people would actually be interested in reading them. Thank you so much to everyone who left replies and tags. Sharing the insanity and reading everyone's reactions was honestly the best part of it all. May Pit Babe the series treat us kindly, and may none of us ever pop up in a cartoon dog powerpoint presentation. 🙏

[anfie-in-the-box]

Turns, twists, and paradoxes

Navigation

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Notes

It's been finished for a while, just didn't feel like uploading anything. It really takes effort to get the post done, with all the links, the credits, proofreading, etc.

Also yeah, it's the second x-tra! Since @zu-is-here insists on drawing illustrations for this fic, readers get more x-tra scenes!

Enjoy!

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X-tra 2

Horror hopes he knows where to shortcut to find Murder. He doesn't want him alone after a fight; never again.

Murder isn't in his room, but that's okay. Horror has a few other places to check. He can't feel the other's emotions like Nightmare can, but he knows Murder better than anyone, so of course he'll find him.

Just let him not be too late. Murder needs him.

Horror shortcuts and shortcuts. The castle is silent and empty — it's weird not to hear a single soul, no spars on the yard, no smells of cooking — someone is, was, always awake here. The castle was alive despite overwhelming, suffocating negativity, and now it's dead. For good, once Horror and Murder leave as well. It feels strange to even consider leaving the place behind, yet it's only logical — nothing stops them anymore. They can have a try at a happy ending of their own.

Horror finds Murder in one of the balconies where he sits right on the floor, breathing deeply. He's meditating, Horror knows, so he doesn't interrupt. Instead he sits quietly in front of Murder and watches his deceivingly calm features, looking for a sign of distress. Murder is particularly vulnerable before and after gaining EXP, and while Horror couldn't really help before — Nightmare would never let them comfort each other when their negative emotions were high, only after they calmed down by themselves — he can now. So he's here. It's new, so he's not sure what exactly to do, but being around people always seemed to ground Murder, if only a little, so Horror will keep him company. They worked together for so long they grew attached despite their differences and their past. Horror was at odds with most of others, mostly because unlike them, he cared about his brother and his people and couldn't even imagine killing them. In a sense, he was lucky, never once living through what they call a Genocide timeline; but he had a hell of his own.

Nightmare only picked up toys long broken, after all. Those he could bend and twist into loyalty. Some managed to escape his grasp — Cross wasn't the first traitor, not at all, although he's the only one who joined Dream and therefore put a target much bigger than usual on his back. Nightmare does not forget, and he does not forgive.

Or at least that's how it used to be. Nightmare did bow and thank them for help, after all. And earlier, he did let them go without a word.

They're not free yet, though. Maybe will never be. But now they can make a first step. Together with Murder, Horror hopes. He doesn't want to leave his partner alone.

Murder opens his sockets, mismatched eye-lights focusing on Horror.

Neither talks until Murder twitches, "Did you want something?"

"Just make sure you're alright," Horror responds. "Well, as much as possible," he corrects.

Murder hugs his knees, curling into himself. "Papyrus didn't make an appearance, if that's what you'd like to know. I don't know if it's meditation or he just doesn't feel like it."

"That's okay," Horror assures. "There's no rush anymore."

Murder lowers his gaze. "Are we really leaving?" he asks. Something in his tone breaks Horror's heart. He's come to care so much about his partner.

"I don't know," he answers honestly. "I have to ask Farmer if he's okay with it. But I don't think he'll refuse, especially if we promise to help."

"We're both unstable," Murder says. "And they're peaceful. Would it work?"

Horror knows what he's really asking. What if I snap? What if you snap? Horror doesn't know how to answer that. What he knows for sure is, "We won't be alone anymore."

Murder grins. "Don't know about you, but I was never alone in the first place. Not since you…" He quiets and whispers, smile smaller but more genuine: "Thank you."

"Thank you, too," Horror grumbles. It's not easy to be so open after years of hiding, even before Nightmare came for him, but for Murder, he can do it.

They fall silent, sitting on the cool floor, looking at each other. They're both roughed up, though not injured too seriously. Some food and a bath will heal them in a moment. Maybe good sleep, too, though they won't be sleeping any time soon. Or at least Horror won't.

"Why do you think Nightmare returned?" Murder asks, uncertain and vulnerable. He looks Horror in the eye, waiting for his response nervously.

"I think," Horror says, "Nightmare needs something he left here. Probably those precious books of his. And besides, we knew it would happen sooner or later, didn't we? We were ready as we'd ever be."

Murder nods thoughtfully, reaching out. Horror lets him touch and caress his hands. Intimacy is difficult, but Murder deserves comfort, and Horror is ready to provide.

"It's so weird seeing him like this," Murder murmurs softly. He must be scared to share his thoughts so openly, and so is Horror, but they will manage for sure. There's nothing stopping them anymore. They don't have to hurt anymore. They can heal.

"It is," Horror agrees. "Whatever happened that got rid of his corruption changed him drastically, huh?"

Murder doesn't answer — there's no need to talk anymore.

So they sit together, despite the odds, against the ever-present oppressing air of an AU with hopes and dreams long gone. They're not quite ready for whatever will come next, but Horror wants to face the future by Murder's side.

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Credits

Undertale © Toby Fox

Horror!Sans © horrortalecomic

Murder!Sans © ask-dusttale

Read it on ao3

Read Russian version on ficbook or fanficus

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Notes

I told you Murder and Horror would show up again, but did you expect it to be so soon? Even I didn't, but it really wanted to be written, so I couldn't ignore it.

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Navigation

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[hometoursandotherstuff]

Thanks to huffy-the-bicycle-slayer for sending in this very crazy home/business. It's a 1950 post office that was renovated into a residence/business with modernist elements in 1962. Located in Palms, California this huge home has only 1 bd. & 5.5ba. It's priced at exactly $1,065,002.

So, there's 1 bd. for the owner, and the rest is set up to be a raw food/meditation retreat. According to the description, if you don't want the business, it can be made into a stylish home.

This is the meditation/retreat space with dining and sitting areas.

Weird that the kitchen in a raw food retreat would have 2 ovens, microwaves and a cook top, but it's also the kitchen for the residence, so I guess the owners eat cooked food.

The original post office restrooms are still intact.

There are also 7 private soaking tubs.

Here is the owner's bedroom and en-suite.

The original post office vault is also intact.

Outside there are pyramid tents.

Besides the tents there are also some structural pyramids.

And a meditation/yoga dome.

Since pyramids are thought to have a special energy, there's also a plain pyramid.

Don't know what this is.

And, you're getting 132 acres of desert land.

https://www.redfin.com/CA/29-Palms/78201-Amboy-Rd-92277/home/91490380

[ayayiiie]

Can u do enhypen with a reader with bad migraines ?

Hiiiii thank you for your request !

Here you go ~

EN- reaction to their s/o having bad migraines.

Members under the cut ! :3

Lee Ethan :

#Concerned_Bambi

I think he will stare at you while thinking of a way to make you feel better

You’re not someone who gets migraines THAT easily (even if it can happen) but when they hit, they hit HARD

So he’d be a lil lost

Will give you hugs and kisses for suuure

He would be THIS type of bf : ‘lie down on me and sleep baby’

When you would wince in pain, on the verge of crying

#panic_Bambi activated (even if he doesn’t show it krkr)

« Huh…huh… do you want some tea ? Fresh air ? Massage ? »

You would shut him up by hugging him and telling him to stroke your hair

« Imma give you some med wait a bit »

He would eventually get the hang of it after some times and then immediately know what to do

Park Jay :

Who’s Jay ? I only know Mama Jay 🤭

#know_what_to_do boi n°1

Jay knows your body more than you sooo

He would actively prepare a bath filled with sweet scent (not too strong since you have a migraine lol), rose petals and bath bombs

Would give you pro massages with slow and relaxing music in the background

Man is literally opening a spa lol

« Wait here I’ll cook for you. »

You are in the tub.

So yeah, he would bring you your favorite dish on a tray and leave the bathroom while making weird noises and a funny dance

Fr he would be the best to lift up your mood 💀

He’s a keeper so take care of him when he has migraines too (even more with six chaotic boyz 😭)

Sim Jake :

« Imma head out to buy some meds, go rest in the bedroom, I’ll be quick »

For some reason he brings Layla back with him ?

As he would slowly open the door, he would whisper to Layla :

« Mommy is sleeping keep quiet 🤫 »

You woke up anyways lmao

But having them both by your sides really ease you

You would hug Layla as she’s so soft and Jake would back hug you keeping you warm

« Do you want some snack ? I bought some along with the meds »

He would be extra careful because he knows you get easily mad when you have a migraine

« Let me do it, go get some rest »

« Jake I just slept for 4 hours straight »

« Shhhh go back to sleep, it’s not enough »

Park Benjamin :

frozen #1

I think he would give you space because he wouldn’t know what to do and wouldn’t want to make you mad

You see this one moment of him spacing out ?

Yes that’s him.

With him you will need to go to him and hug him

Sunghoon is the type of bf who needs to know everything, every detail

So when you need attention or anything else, you need to speak, to communicate every sentiment, every thought

If you want him to do something you have to write it down on a post-it or else he will forgot 🥹

So basically it would go like this :

« Sunghoon ? »

« ..yeah..? »

« Can you massage my temples please ? »

« Huh..yeah…like this..? »

« Put a bit more pression »

« Like this ? »

He’s cute bye.

Kim William :

#know_what_to_do boi n°2

As en ENFP he would try to help you as much as he can

He seems to know a lot about meditation and self care so he would show you a routine on how to avoid migraine and how to treat it

« Drink a lot of water, it’s good for your body and help relaxes it »

« Sleeping is a must but when it’s too painful and you can’t sleep just close your eyes and breath profoundly »

« I’ll massage you, try to relax at the maximum ! »

« You need to take a break, assignments are killing you really *eyes roll* » while massaging your temples

Remember when Jungwon said Sunoo listen the most to him ?

So whenever you would need anything, he would do it for ya

Without whining and complaining

« Sunoo can you pass the water bottle please ? »

That’s the ninth time you’re asking but Sunshine will just keeps his lips closed and gives you what you want

Make sure to reward him afterwards :p

Yang Johnny :

Clueless but not so clueless

Would be very attentive to your needs since Jungwon listen very well to others too

He’s very observant and detailed so you won’t even had to tell him about your migraine

He would point his nose in your bedroom and looks at you without you knowing

It would probably run like this in his mind :

« They’re exhausted and they keep supporting their head with their hands : migraines coming right away »

Ninja Jungwon in action 🥷

He would call you quietly to not startle you

« Okay time for a break you look like you’re about to pass out anytime soon »

For him, walking can ease your mind and brings you peace

So you both would take a walk towards the nearest park alongside Maeum

When you would come back he would prepares something hot to drink and some snacks and you guys would probably watch some movies

Guess who falls asleep during the most interesting scene ?

You both of course 🤭

Nishimura Ni-Ki :

Okay we all know he’s teasing everyone all day

You knew when you began dating that teasing would be a part of your routine

Because teasing is his love language

So what happens when he can’t express his love language anymore ?

The first time you had a migraine he teased you like his life depended cause he was feeling particularly mischievous

Well he rapidly knew it was wrong because boi almost got yeeted out of the window

Got quiet all of a sudden and looked at you like you were some monster

Maybe got traumatized lmao

So now he got prepared and you would have a freshly new Riki infront of you

He would just watch some yt videos on his phone or scroll on Tik Tok

But hey, you want attention

That’s when it gets risky because he knows you’re in a bad mood when you have a headache

So for once he would listen to you and hug you :)

« I like it when you’re calm like this… »

He would have insecure thoughts because of what you said (he can be very noisy and annoying with people he particularly cherish) but suddenly

« But I love when you tease me too, it shows how much you know every details of me »

Happy Riki 😃 you too happy 😃

———————

You’ve reached the end of the reaction !

Why it keeps getting longer the more it progress ? I wrote a whole essay for Niki 😭

Hope you enjoy it !

Thank you ! 👸

[artemisiavulgaris1114]

Haven't had a lot of time for personal art lately, but I finally finished Lilith's updated character sheet! I've been slooowly picking away at it since I posted her first character sheet ages ago >_>

See notes below (I promise there is a fanfic-related point to this stupid level of detail):

fig 1. Pre-tadpole. Her hair is naturally pale purple/white, but it becomes stained red with the blood of her victims--a sign of Bhaal's favour. A barn owl skull, which she wears as a sort of pendant, and a bronze spike on the end of her braid which can be used as an improvised weapon. Her pupils reflect pinky-red when she is under the influence of murder, and become more dilated the more she kills, signifying a kind of animalistic blood craze. fig 2. Items she kept on her person pre-tadpole, some of which were recovered from the mind flayer colony, along with most of her old armour. Incense for meditating on the Prayer for Forgiveness whenever she needs to remind herself of her purpose. A small femur from an unknown animal carved into a fountain pen on one end, and a needle sharp shiv on the other. Accompanies a handmade skin and bone-bound journal, the parchment of which is enchanted to hide any ink written on it in Lilith's blood. Only someone with her blood is able to read the hidden ink by spilling a drop of it on to the page. A verdelite ring with the inscription "our freedom", and a sending stone (wonder who has the other? 🤔) fig 3. Weapons and items she normally keeps on hand, including her longbow, Striga. An elixir of viciousness, oil of sharpness and malice. An arrow of arcane interference and an arrow of many targets. She also keeps a bloodstone in a small pouch hidden under her armour at all times. fig 4. Her post-tadpole armour, fashioned by Dammon from the salvaged pieces into something new and sturdier (she's much more vulnerable after losing her status as Chosen). Seen here are also her earrings, the only thing she still has from her childhood. The stone set in them is a type of obsidian called mother's tears. An ornate bronze mortar and pestle, and a little herb pouch with purple datura embroidered on it, gifted to her from Karlach after act 1. It's a little cutesy for her tastes, but Lilith keeps it for sentimental reasons. The threadbare book from the arcane tower, which becomes her new journal.

Feats (Pre-tadpole) These were powers granted to her by Bhaal, lost along with her status as Chosen.

Hot monster chick When channeling the urge, she becomes rabid with bloodlust the more she kills, and her eyes become completely dilated. The slayer form can start to emerge in her, however, it’s only ever partially formed (to her immense self-resentment) so she just gets really big scary eyes/teeth/jaw and talons, massive strength and agility, and the preference to walk on all fours. She also gets weird patchy feathers, and kind of looks like a scrawny undead owlbear--an endless source of torment and entertainment for Orin.

Shadow glimmer This is essentially gaseous form, the deathstalker mantle ability and umbral shroud combined into one feat. A typical pattern of attack would be to take out as many from the darkness as possible with her bow, before charging while invisible and dispatching the remainder with knives, making it look like she's transporting around, as it activates every time she makes a kill and she kills very quickly. It can also be used as an escape maneuver, but is detectable by the naked eye as a thin swirl of shadowy smoke, as well as see invisibility and other similar spells. She can still be physically injured in this state.

And, most importantly...

Theme Song!!!!

[bonezone44]

Muddy Waters, pt. 2 (18+)

'Muddy Waters'

Ezra x F!Reader x Joel Miller

Summary: You keep hearing someone calling your name and you fear for your life (it's cool, though. you're fine). You visit Joel Miller to see what he wants.

Word Count: 5,8k

Part 1 Part 3 (story masterlist) (my masterlist)

tags: NSFW 18+. Intuitive!Reader. Afab!Reader (she/they). Southern!Reader. Established Ezra x F!Reader. Polyam. No use of Y/N.

This Chapter: Pet names: baby, darlin. dry-humping, brief masturbation (m), coming in pants, cuckolding (i think it counts).

Author's Note: I've been putting off very important responsibilities to write this chapter because I literally can't stop thinking about this. <3 god bless y'all. (It'll be a while for the 3rd chapter)

+++++

You placed your hand on your stomach in an attempt to ease your nerves.

You had been sick with worry and paranoia for over a week.

Two days after you visited Joel Miller for the first time, you ventured to the stables. You had planned to help out Jerome and brush some of the horses, but changed your mind once you got there. It was too beautiful of an afternoon to do anything. The sun was bright and beaming and the clouds were thin and wispy. The air: warm and dry. You walked over to one of the empty corrals and climbed up–sitting yourself on the wooden rail with your chest high. You greeted the great Helios above with your eyes shut and a closed-lip smile on your face. One hand anchored you to the nearest post as the other stretched down and out from your side–fingertips providing a small counterbalance to keep you steady. You washed and basked in the pulses of ultraviolet frequencies as they massaged and vibrated all the pains and worries straight right outta your soul.

It felt so good to be alive.

You wished everyone had the time to sit and absorb the goodness our universe had to offer. You wished everyone in town could take a whole day off to do nothing but vegetate in the elements. Whether they wanted to soak in some water or back in the sun or find peace in the cool air of a cave. You wanted everyone to feel as free as you felt in that moment, meditating on the giant ball of chemical explosions that kept our planet alive from millions of miles away.

You could hear the snorts and clops from the horses in the stables and part of you wished they were all free and running wild across the Wyoming prairies. You heard the blades of grass rustling against one another in the breeze. You heard the distant chatter of town–hammers, music, a vague cloud of conversation. There were closer voices, too. Stablehands talking while they worked.

Then, at a distance you couldn’t decipher, you heard someone calling your name. But you didn’t want to turn around, yet. Too enraptured in the healing power of the sun. And if it was Jerome, you knew he would find you soon enough.

But when you heard it a second time, you figured it was a sign to stop loafing around.

You sighed and abandoned your little paradise–reluctantly venturing back into social order. You hopped down from the fence and wobbled a little. Your muscles had gone stiff from their unmoving positions. You honestly don’t know how long you were sitting there.

You looked around as you stretched but didn’t see anyone–well, anyone who seemed to be looking for you, anyway. You headed over to the stables. Jerome was inside talking to one of the other handlers.

“Hey,” you greeted him with a smile. “Were you lookin for me?”

Jerome’s brow twisted. “No,” he answered simply. “I mean, I saw you out there but I figured I’d leave you alone and let you do your thing.”

An embarrassed smile bloomed on your face and you tucked your head down. “Yeah, it’s nice out.”

“It is.” He smiled wide and pleasant. “It’s good to know someone gets to enjoy it.”

You knew he meant what he was saying, but shame lingered across your skin. “I–uh, I thought I heard someone callin me.”

He shook his head. “No one from in here.”

“Huh.”

That was weird.

The next day, you woke up with a burst of energy and decided to use it to clean up the apartment. You and Ezra were fairly sloppy on your own, but your powers combined could turn a museum into a dumpster in the matter of minutes. You were folding the mountain of laundry on the couch when you heard Ezra calling you from the bedroom. It was strange for him to say your name instead of ‘baby’ or ‘precious’ or some other tender moniker. So instead of answering aloud, you walked to him–worry building in your mind. When you got to the bedroom and opened the door, he was fast asleep and snoring. Drool soaking into the blue cotton pillowcase.

You would have brushed it all off, chalked it up to your mind playing tricks on you. But then, later that day, it happened again in town. 

You were trotting along to the general store when you heard your name shouted. You stopped so abruptly that the person walking behind you ran smack-dab into your back. 

She apologized. You waved her off. 

You didn’t even look at who it was that hit you, your eyes too busy scanning the street.

But there was no one.

Well, yeah, technically there were people out there walking around and going about their business. But none of them seemed to be the one calling your name.

You walked straight home after that.

Later in the evening, while Ezra was out on patrol, and you were lying in bed and on the cusp of slumber–you heard it again. And it was loud. Loud and clear enough for you to distinguish that it was a man’s voice. You just couldn’t recognize whose.

You shot up from the bed in a panic and searched the whole three room apartment. You emptied the kitchen cabinets and the drawers and pulled the dresser from against the wall and rolled up all the rugs.

Someone was looking for you and you knew it.

Ezra came home the next morning to you wide-eyed and trembling in a ball on the couch.

“Uhh… baby?” His eyes slowly circled the disaster you had spent hours re-creating after spending the whole previous day cleaning. He took a slow step forward. “W-What happened?”

“They’re comin for me, Ezra. They’re comin for me and I know it.” You growled and pounded your fist on your knee. “I know it!”

“Who’s comin for you, baby?” he asked softly.

“I don’t know… exactly,” you muttered. “I’ve been narrowin it down and I think it was that guy’s brother that I killed.”

Ezra closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He wiped his bare hand down his face, scratching the scruff along his jaw.

Your lips trembled. “Him and his friends are comin for me. I know it. I know they are.”

He tip-toed around the debris strewn about the floor. He sat down next to you and wrapped his arm around your tense shoulders. “Baby, I explained that to you. You did what you had to do to–”

“That’s not what this is about!” you spat and nudged him away.

He scooted back with his palms up in surrender.

“Someone has been calling my name! I keep hearing it again and again and when I turn around there’s no one! No one! But they’re calling for me like they’re comin for me! Like they’re gonna kill me!” Your eyes filled with tears.

“No one is gonna hurt you, baby.” Ezra’s hand gently squeezed your thigh.

“You don’t know that!” He made you furious sometimes, thinking he knew everything in the world. He couldn’t know someone wasn’t gonna hurt you because you knew that somebody was.

“I do, actually,” he responded with an attitude. “Because me and everyone else in this little town are here to take care of you and guard you from any harm.”

“That’s–that’s not–” you shook your head, but you couldn’t bring yourself to fully deny it. No, not everyone in the town existed to serve you, specifically. But you had made connections in Jackson. Real, emotional connections. You had made some real friends for the first time since you were a child. Jackson was becoming your new family. You knew that the people around you would protect you just as you would protect them.

Ezra was right and the thought of it all finally broke you.

“I don’t want to die!” You sobbed, gut spasming and tears flowing. “I’m not ready to go, yet!” You fell over into Ezra’s lap and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Then we will all ensure that you do not go.” His warm hand gently pet your shoulder.

You continued to cry, surrendering all your tension to Ezra’s comforting love and to all the people of Jackson.

+++++

You were able to get some rest, but that didn’t mean you were going to be leaving the apartment anytime soon. You holed yourself up just to be safe. And the more you resisted the call, the stronger it became, feeling like someone was tugging you to come outside your sanctuary and—well… that was what scared you so much. You had no idea what they wanted from you. Just that they wanted something . Otherwise, what the hell would they be calling you for?

So when Ezra came home and told you that Joel Miller had been asking for you, you pieced the two together and saw a vision of him in your mind. Clear as day. He was standing on his front porch in a green button-up and combed hair. His hand was curved around his mouth and he was shouting your name–waving for you to come over.

But why was he looking for you? Why didn’t he just come over to your apartment? It was a small town. Everybody knew where you lived. And if he didn’t, he could have just asked Ezra or… anyone else for that matter.

Part of you wanted to find him immediately and share some choice words, but another part of you said ‘No. Make him wait.’ You had been suffering for days. Joel could suffer at least one more.

+++++

Ellie answered the door when you showed up and she pulled you into a tight hug. You hugged her back, but she kept holding on. You had never figured out how to measure the appropriate amount of time to hug someone. Everyone was different, you had learned. Especially around Jackson. So you stayed, hugging back, until she let go.

“What are you doing here?” she looked up at you.

“I’m just here to bother Joel. What are you doing here?”

She gasped. “I’m also here to bother Joel!” She grabbed your hand. “Let’s go bother him together!”

“Okay!” you answered with bright eyes and let her tug you around.

“Joel!” she shouted.

“What?” you heard him answer gruffly from another room.

“You have a visitor!” she said with emphasis on the ‘tore.’

You heard him scoff and then you heard his boots stomping down the hall. Once he emerged and saw you standing there in his kitchen, all his tension fell away. He looked surprised, but pleased, to see you.

“Hey,” he said while his mouth hung open, quirking upward at the edges.

All that fire you had inside of you the day before had disappeared at the sight of him. His jeans wrapped tight around his thighs. His hair slicked back like he just showered. He wore a dark t-shirt with only the edge tucked in at his belt buckle. “Hi,” you smiled once you found his eyes.

“We’re here to bother you!” said Ellie.

Joel turned to her and that angry scoff repeated itself. “Go occupy yourself, Ellie.”

She huffed. “Why?”

He put his hands on his hips and glared with wide eyes. He briefly pointed to you. “She needs some work done on her house. You wanna stay and hear us talk about it?”

Ellie let out a long, fitful groan and turned to you. “Contracting is so boring! ” She kicked her foot. “It used to be cool til I had to deal with it every–single–day! You guys suck.” She swiftly turned back to Joel on her heels. “Can I go stay the night at Dina’s?”

“Yeah.” He threw his hand up. “Just come home for breakfast.”

Ellie let out an evil chuckle and grabbed her backpack on the way out the door.

You were impressed by how quickly he got rid of Ellie. You figured he must do it a lot to have a ready excuse on hand. But now that you had Joel alone, you didn’t know where to begin.

“How are you?” you asked quickly, satisfied to start off simply.

“Good.” Joel stared at you a moment with a small smile and his hands in the pockets of his jeans. His eyes turned to his cabinets. “You want somethin to drink?”

“Sure.”

He pulled out a bottle of dark liquid. “I got whiskey.”

“Ehh, no thanks,” you said and sat down at the table.

Joel was taken aback. “You don’t like whiskey?”

“Nah, I don’t like the taste.” You waved him off. “It’s alright. I don’t need anything.”

"Sorry,” he frowned. “S’all I got besides Rena’s moonshine.”

“Ooh! I’ll have that!”

“What?” He looked at you befuddled. “You like Rena’s moonshine over aged whiskey?”

“Yeah!”

He shook his head and sighed. “Well, alright then.” He pulled out two glasses and poured your drinks, replacing the bottles in the cabinet. He sat your glass next to you with a soft thunk on the wooden tabletop. He took his own seat at the opposite end, six feet away.

It felt different than the last time you visited and you couldn’t put a finger on why. The world outside, the past week or so–it all felt so far away.

“So what did you need me for?” you asked casually and sipped your moonshine. It was sharp and brutal and you coughed a little. Moonshine wasn’t meant to be sipped, but it didn’t feel right to down the whole glass at once. The man just sat down. You didn’t wanna make him get up again.

“What?” Joel glanced at the door and then back to you. “You just came here.” He punctuated with his finger on the table. “I figured you needed me for something.”

“Well, no. I mean–” You waved your hand around. “--you’ve been looking for me.”

“I– hmm …” He stared at you with his lips between his teeth and a question in his eyes. “Ezra mentioned you thought someone was lookin for you.” He tilted his head. “What was it that was makin you think that?”

“I kept hearing someone calling my name,” you answered plainly.

“Callin your name?” He shook his head. “Like… how? Just out loud?”

“I mean, kinda. It sounded like someone off in the distance. But it was more like a thought. Like a really loud thought.”

“Someone thinkin your name?”

“No. Just callin for me. Tryin to get my attention. Wantin me for somethin.”

He nodded slowly, fingers on his glass. “And you think it was me?”

“Well, yeah.” You responded as if it was obvious. “Ezra mentioned you asked about me and–”

“Did no one else ask about you? I mean, you were out and about all the time and then outta nowhere you just kinda… stopped.”

“No, there were others, but–”

“You makin house calls to them, too?”

“...No.” You were starting to doubt yourself, feeling Joel poke at you the way he was. But at the time, it was so loud and so clear–there was no room for misinterpretation.

“Just me, then?” he asked.

“Y-yeah.” You suddenly felt so stupid. Maybe you did fuck up. 

But it felt so real, though.

You took another sip of moonshine.

“So you thought I was callin for you–” he leaned back, smirking, looking cocky as hell. “--and you just came runnin?”

“I–” you blinked. Is that how it looks? Is that what really just happened? “I just wanted to see what you wanted,” you mumbled.

“Okay,” Joel chuckled. “Alright.” He took a sip of his whiskey.

You stared at your own glass–head swirling around with worry. ‘ Did I make it all up in my head again?’ You drank the rest of your moonshine in one go–social graces be damned.

Joel chuckled again. “You want s’more?”

“Sure,” you nodded rapidly.

He rose from his chair and pulled the jar of moonshine out again. “Ezra told me about when you made him go to LSU.”

You sighed. Grateful for the change of topic. “Yeah, he loves tellin that story.” You waved your hand. “He’s always goin crazy with it.”

His brow furrowed as he walked back over to you and refilled your glass. “It didn’t happen?”

“No, it did. I mean–” you smile warmly and shake your head. “--He always says we walked for twenty four hours, but he doesn’t know that for sure.” You two have argued countless times over it. “We didn’t have watches on.” You pointed at the one on Joel’s wrist. “It could have been sixteen or twenty or something.”

“But you did it.” Joel sat back down, leaving the jar of moonshine on the table.

“Yeah.”

“How’d you know where to go?”

“LSU used to be used as a hurricane shelter before the outbreak and sure enough, it got turned into a safe haven afterwards. We’d been hearin talk about it for a while, so it was our best bet. We walked from one interstate to the next, following the road signs like anyone else would.”

Joel hummed. “That makes sense.” He smiled briefly. “But… how did you know? How did you know for sure that they could help? That they would help?”

“Well, we didn’t exactly have any other options. He wanted to go to Florida but that meant crossin New Orleans from where we were at.” You looked at Joel dumbly. “I mean… New Orleans? After all that shit–” you spun your finger in the air. “--went down?” You shook your head. “Nuh-uh. I was not about to do all that. I mean, Baton Rouge ain’t much better but I knew New Orleans was a fuckin death trap.” You placed your hand on your chest. “No matter how near and dear that city was to my heart.”

He gave you another brief smile before he leaned forward, elbows on the table. “But what if you were wrong?”

You shrugged. “Well, that woulda fuckin sucked then, wouldn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He leaned back and laughed.

Making him laugh, making his face relax–even briefly–sent a warmth through you strong enough that you had to look away. You felt it between your legs, too, much to your embarrassment. But you could easily blame that on the alcohol. That’s just how you got when the poison kicked in. That and you started cursing a lot more.

It may have gotten a laugh out of him, but you needed to rein yourself in.

“Ezra makes it sound like I’m magic or psychic or something. But I’m not. I mean, everybody has an intuition. Mine is just really strong sometimes. And,” you shrugged as your lips grew into a tight smile. “Even then, sometimes I’m wrong.” Your eyes wandered the kitchen’s yellow walls. “Sometimes it’s all in my head.”

He grunted and nodded. Took another sip of his whiskey. “How long have you known Ezra?”

“Oh, since the beginning, really. He tells the story better than I do.” You tried to wave him off. “He makes it funnier.”

Joel leaned back in his chair with a smirk. “Maybe I want the real story.”

You fought to hide your glowing smile. Between the two of you, Ezra was the storyteller and you were the listener. It wasn’t often you got to share your version of things. “I met him in a grocery store.” You played with the glass on the table as the words tumbled out of you. “I was alone and… following a trail of dead infected and, I don’t know, maybe some uninfected, too. I didn’t look all that closely. I was just lookin for somebody with a gun. And somebody had to be killin all those things. So I–” you threw your hand up. “--barged through the front doors and started singin at the top of my lungs hopin they would just shoot me and put me out of my misery.” Your eyes went wide as you stared at your glass distorting the wood grain beneath it.

“Why didn’t they?”

“Ezra says they were all too excited to see a girl the same age as them.” You looked up at Joel with only your eyes. “But I think they were conservin ammo, because I–” you pointed at your chest. “--I looked like shit.”

He smiled.

“Then… I started singin into those big deep freezers ‘cause they were empty and it made my voice echo all funny.” You grinned. “I was tryin to be real annoyin. Hopin it would make them just… get it over with quicker.” You smiled at yourself. You hadn’t had the strength to say you’d been bit. That would have really been the way to get the job done. “Ezra said his cousins were arguin over what to do, but he wound up choosin for ‘em because he comes outta the back screamin at me.” You remember how he looked, too. In a black Tool t-shirt and dirty jeans. His hair was matted with sweat and his beard was sparse and prickly. He looked like a tall, thin rat holding onto a shotgun by its barrel. “But he was screamin at me ‘cause I was singin the words wrong.”

“That’s what did it, huh?” Joel chuckled.

“Yep.” You nodded. “Ezra was trying to correct me and I shouted at him–” you screwed up your face. “--’Who cares about the lyrics? It’s the end of the world!’ and he yelled back, ‘No, it isn’t!’” You threw your fists down just like he did–like a little boy trying to get his way. “And he yanked me into the back room and introduced me to him and his cousins and gave me a knife.” You smirked at Joel with a shrug.

He grinned. Long fingers toying with his glass. “So that was it, huh?”

“That was it,” you said with a wave of your hand.

Joel wore a soft smile on his lips as he sipped his whiskey. “You’ve known him that long, huh?”

“Yep.” You tried not to think about it. All those memories and untold stories threatening to boil over your placid surface.

He tilted his head. He opened his mouth to say something before deciding otherwise. “You two are just… different.”

“In some ways we are, but we have a hell of a lot in common, too.” You nodded at Joel. Determined to stay cool, calm, and collected. “It’s been a long journey,” you added simply. 

“Sounds like it.” He stared at you with an expression you couldn’t decipher. Something in his eyes was changing.

You smiled back politely as you tried to ignore the feeling in your gut–hoping that if you ignored it, then it would go away ( as if that ever fuckin worked ).

“Does he know you’re here right now?” Joel asked, brows up and worried.

You blinked. The way he asked it made you feel like you were doing something wrong. As if this visit was somehow tawdry. “He knows.”

“And it doesn’t bother him?”

“Should it?” Would it? You wondered.

“Maybe.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Anxiety bubbled inside of you. You felt sunken into the chair and–you realized–if you were there for less-than-pure reasons, you didn’t exactly mind.

Not with him standing up from his chair, jeans bulging between his legs, hair slowly curling as it dried.

He walked to your end of the table, jar of moonshine in his hand and refilled your glass. You hadn’t noticed that you emptied again. “I would want my woman visiting another man at night alone.” He screwed the lid back on the jar, metal ridges sliding against the glass. “Drinking all their liquor.”

Everything in the room had then shifted a few degrees. The air felt more humid. Your hearing felt cotton-y. The color of the floors and walls looked warmer–tinted red. You sipped the moonshine and it didn’t burn this time. It felt like the same temperature as the rest of you. 

“Ezra doesn’t keep me on a leash.” You looked up at him with just your eyes. He hadn’t moved yet. Still standing tall next to you. He was so close, so near. You could feel the heat coming from him–somehow distinct from the rest of the room. He smelled like leather. Leather and the whiskey he had been drinking. 

His hand moved forward, and two knuckles grazed your neck. “Do you want to be kept on a leash?”

You closed your eyes and sucked in a sharp breath of air. His touch sent pulses of electricity down your body. You could feel it in your gut, too. Strong oscillating waves of gravity pulling you towards him. A flurry of images played in your mind at a speed too fast to hold on to. You leaned your head back, but you didn’t move yourself away from his touch. “No. I don’t.”

His hand found its way to the back of your neck. His fingers scratched into your scalp. “You want something, though. Don’tchu?”

You kept your eyes closed, melting into his affection. “I-I don’t know.” You didn’t know how to voice it. You were too afraid to. Too afraid of saying the wrong thing and him stopping.

“Well, you came over here for somethin–”

You looked up at him with furrowed brows. “I came over here because you wanted somethin.”

“Right, right.” Joel chuckled. “It was all me.”

“It was you.” You gritted your teeth. He was playing tricks on you and you knew it. If he hadn’t wanted you, he wouldn’t have been touching you the way he was. All tender and perfect.

“Sure thing, darlin.” Joel shook his head with a smile.

You rolled your eyes and he released your head. You immediately missed his touch.

He put his hands on his hips. “But even if it was, you still showed up, didn’t you?”

“I–” you wanted to argue, but you couldn’t. You were too warm, too turned on, too eager to see where Joel wanted to take you. He was standing waist high in swirling, muddy waters and offering you his hand. You sighed. “You’re right. I did.”

Ambrosial. That was what Ezra would call it when you gave into those urges that everyone else told you to keep at bay. Divine. “I can’t keep this from him. From Ezra.”

“That’s good,” he said quickly and earnestly. He pulled out the chair next to you and moved it to your side, so he could sit down without the table between you. He put his large hand on your knee, thumb on one side and long fingers splayed on the other. “Cause I want you to tell him everything,” he said harshly. His hand slid up your thigh with a light squeeze. “I want him to know–everything .”

Your mouth hung open in shock. Nothing had even happened yet exactly but goddamn his hand on you felt like a searing hot stove and you wanted to be branded. Branded all over. You wanted marks and bruises and aching bones that told everyone in town what Joel did to you to get off–not just for Ezra’s knowledge.

Fuck, it felt so good to be alive.

“D-Do you often go lookin for women who already have partners?”

“No,” he said quickly with a shake of his head. His other hand joined the first, rubbing up and down your thighs. “First time.” He said licking his lips and staring at yours.

Your stomach swooped. You wanted to kiss those lips but you couldn’t will yourself to move.

“Can’t help myself, I guess,” he smirked at you, looking into your eyes. “Can’t help but think–” the man looked starving for you. “--that you could use somethin different after all these years.”

You felt like you were gonna faint. You had never–no one had ever hypnotized you before with such basic, carnal desire. And Ezra– “Ezra’s the only man… I’ve ever been with.”

“Good,” he nodded. “I like that.” One hand left your thigh and found your neck, fingers wrapping and guiding you towards him. He pressed his lips into yours and you could taste his whiskey–a taste much better indulged on someone else’s lips–no, on his lips. 

Joel Miller, a man you barely knew, was kissing you in his house at his beautifully lime-washed kitchen table.

Too much.

Too new.

Your brain couldn’t compute.

He broke his lips from you briefly and pulled you upward to stand. With his hands on your hips, he guided you to sit on the table.

You anxiously grazed his body along the edge of your palms. Your limbs felt detached as they moved in slow motion.

He pulled away, smirking. “You this soft with Ezra?”

You wanted to hide your face. “No, I just… don’t know what to do–what you want.”

He grinned wide, hazy eyes staring at your lips. “I want whatever you want, darlin.” He grinded his clothed hardness between your legs. “C’mon, now.”

You moaned at his girth pressing into you. “Okay, okay,” you nodded.

You grabbed the back of his neck and licked into his mouth. Your other hand scratched up his back and then pulled his chest tight against you. You rolled your hips into his, cunt pulsing around nothing–just the anticipation of his fat cock stretching you out.

“That’s what I’m talkin ‘bout.” He grunted and thrusted hard against you. “That’s what I want.”

You kept at it, rubbing your clit against his thickness. You were both fully clothed, dry humping like horny teenagers. But you didn’t wanna stop to take anything off. Didn’t wanna do a single thing different. You continued chasing your high, moaning and whimpering.

Joel matched your rhythm. His hands squeezed your ass cheeks, molding and toying with what he could through the thick fabric of your pants. Mouth sucking and tonguing your neck–leaving cooling lines of spit.

“Oh my god!” You cried out, feeling that tell-tale burn rising up in you.

“Yeah? You gonna come, darlin?” Joel spoke into the skin beneath your ear. “You gonna come and I ain’t even touched you, yet?”

“Mhmm! Mhmm!” You panted and writhed against him.

The whole table was moving and shaking and scraping the floor. Every grunt and moan reverberated and echoed loud and uninhibited. Your empty glass of moonshine fell over and Joel reached out to pick it up in his hand.

You bit into his shoulder when you came with a sharp sob–mouth full of his cotton t-shirt and whatever flesh you were able to grab beneath it.

“Fuck, darlin,” Joel groaned, his hips slowing and stopping. He released the glass from his hand and pushed you back flat on the table. He pulled your shirt up, exposing only your stomach. He rushed to get his cock out, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants in the flash of a second.

Your stomach dropped at the sight of it, russet and aching. Uncut and angry. He wrapped his hand around the head, pumping himself furiously.

Your cunt was still pulsing, aftershocks rippling through every muscle in your abdomen. 

He slapped his free hand down on the table next to your shoulder and leaned over you. He looked into your eyes–his own were red and glazed over. His expression was pained–lips and brows pulled tight. He called out your name and it echoed in your mind like it had for the past week and a half. Him calling and calling for you. Again and again.

His hips stilled suddenly and he came on your stomach, spend soaking into the edges of your shirt and pants.

You looked up at him with wonder. Wondering what was happening and what it all meant.

He sighed with a smirk and fell on top of you, nuzzling into your neck.

You wrapped your arms around him, hands sliding up  and down the planes of his back as air filled and emptied his lungs.

“That was good,” he said, kissing you softly.

“Yeah.” The word came out of you with a breath. “It really was.” You stared at his ceiling, wondering if the light fixture came with the house or if Joel had replaced it himself.

+++++++

Just like you said you would, and just like Joel told you to, you told Ezra everything. You tried to start at the beginning and work your way through but there were so many emotions involved and you kept jumping around and trying to explain it all out while you were wringing your hands and pacing the small main room of your apartment.

Ezra looked dazed the whole time you spoke, only glancing at you every once in a while. It made you so nervous that you couldn’t stop–you couldn’t stop talking and describing and explaining.

“Are you gonna fuck him?” he asked, eyes half-lidded, his breaths short and high in his chest.

“I-I-I don’t know.” You hadn’t exactly made more plans with Joel.

“You wanna fuck him?”

“Yeah.” There was no denying it. “I do.”

He looked like he was gonna be sick and it scared you. Then his hand slid between his legs and he started palming himself. You hadn’t noticed he was hard.

“You wanna fuck him, baby?” he asked again, more urgently. “You wanna fuck him?”

You nodded. “Yeah,” you whispered.

“Yeah?” He cried out. “Yeah?” he asked louder.

“Yeah, baby.” You said as you looked into his fervent gaze. “I wanna fuck him.”

Ezra’s whole body went tense. His eyes shut tight as he keened, squeezing himself through his jeans. It took a few minutes for him to come back down. His breathing was heavy as he rested his head on the back of the couch.

He looked like he had gotten the fuck of his lifetime and all he had done was sit there. He swallowed hard. His adam’s apple bobbing. “I don’t think–” He licked his lips. “I don’t think I’ve come that hard since I was in juvie.”

You put your hands on your hips, staring down at this man you’d known and grown to love over the course of twenty years. You laughed.

Ezra picked up his head and smirked. Then he started laughing, too.

For how good it all was, it still scared the shit outta you. You barely knew Joel. You barely knew anyone in Jackson, in a way. For all the good will you’d developed over your time there, you weren’t sure what kind of social consequences would occur if word got out about this.

You also weren’t sure if you really gave a shit.

--------------

there's more chapters to come, fyi!

Authors Note: What song were you singing that Ezra was correcting you on? That's up to YOU! I didn't wanna be too specific. In my mind, Ezra was definitely into Tool, Rage Against The Machine, Jay Z. I bet Ezra lost his damn mind the first time he heard hip-hop.

tags: @toxicanonymity @walkintotheriveranddisappear (oops! forgot to tag u!)

Part 1 part 3

(story masterlist)

(my masterlist)

[accidentalshifter]

List of TVD/Original-verse Minishifts (Part 2, Electric Boogaloo)

Tw: blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation & dark themes. My dream Mikaelsons do not play nice at all. Be warned.

Unlike my other DRs where I've had success in scripting some things like choosing when I go in and where...this...whatever it is?? A weird alternate universe of the TVD/Original-verse or something?? Doesn't seem to play by the rules and refuses to adhere to any script I've tried to throw at it. At this point, I'm just riding the ride...

If anything, it's good inspiration for a story. Even if I sound absolutely crazy...

⚜️ Davina Claire is sitting on a three-legged stool, focusing on a singing bowl placed in front of her on a work table. Herbs, crystals, and candles litter the table as well. I can't tell what kinds of stones or herbs they are. This shift was quick to come & quicker to go. She is (slowly) circling the wooden mallet of the singing bowl around the rim of it, creating a brassy, humming sound. It looks like she is meditating while doing this. [Awake]

⚜️ Rebekah and her new werewolf boyfriend (who I'm pretty certain is that blonde named Oliver) are having really loud sex upstairs in one of the rooms of the Mikaelson chateau. The one in the French Quarter. I'm stuck as a ghost listening to it down in the courtyard & wishing I could raid their wet bar so at least I'm drunk while being stuck here. Their loud sex turns into loud conversation and arguing about Marcel. It seems like Oliver feels like a rebound. But if the shoe fits, my dude, you should probably wear it... [Awake]

⚜️ Elijah pours himself a late-night drink of aged liquor from his special reserve cabinet hidden in the office room of the Mikaelson chateau. He's agitated about something. It looks like he hasn't...I guess, fed?? There are the growing signs of dark circles underneath his eyes. The first button of his button-down shirt is undone, his silk tie is loosened. He's gripping the cut crystal glass too tight. His dark gaze trails over to the many journals he has opened at his desk. Some journals look old as fuck. Some of them look newer, with fresher pages that aren't yellowed and brittle and musty. I think these journals are his... [Awake]

⚜️ Rebekah watching YouTube facial & skin care tutorials and making snide commentary at the YouTubers she doesn't like or how she has been doing the very same beautification regiment for hundreds of years longer than them. There's also some Youtubers that she does like and I notice her adding them to her playlist. I had to have been there for 20 mins just sitting on her bed while she sat in front of her vanity mirror, applying makeup to get ready for some event. On the plus side?? I've started incorporating facial scrubs into my own routine here in my CR. [Awake]

⚜️ Niklaus strolling on into the chateau at 3 am with two drunk girls on either side of him & one other that he's more focused on. She's the most drunk. One of the girls tugs on his arm, asking him in a slurred voice "where all the fun is at?" and that she's "bored". The girl wearing a tight black cocktail dress asks Nik "if there's any liquor here?" and pouts. Klaus laughs, assuring them that the fun has just begun, and leads them all upstairs. I decide that I'm staying in the courtyard for this but for some fucking reason, I feel myself being dragged upstairs along with them. Even tho I try to grab hold tight to the bannister of the staircase. It doesn't work. The scene is going to Klaus' painting room whether I want to go or not...

With huge amounts of pride, Niklaus shows off his "post modern art." Especially to that one girl he's fixated on. I notice him sliding up behind her to wrap his arms around her shoulders. I wince. I try to say something to interrupt what I predict is going to unfold in a few seconds. Nobody hears me. Klaus has that girl in his clutches. He asks her what her opinion on the piece is and when she goes to speak, his mouth is on the crook of her neck. What comes out of the girl's mouth is a soft little whimper to which Klaus teasingly says "Oh, is it that good, love?? You could say I'm inspired-" and that's when he takes a vicious bite into her neck. The blood spurting goes everywhere. On the walls, on the paintings. He was not neat or precise with his bite. He didn't even give her a chance to scream. But I am screaming.

I try to run out of the room. But, as soon as I do, I seem to hit an invisible wall. And I can't push through it. I'm left to watch Klaus drop the girl whose neck now has a gaping hole in it and see the other two girls scream and try to scramble for the door. He lets them have a second where they think they're gonna make it and...basically catches, compels, & forces them to act like death is just one huge turn on kink they have. I, on the other hand, have slid down the surface of the invisible wall & now sit on the floor, repeating "I'm in my CR" over and over again until suddenly I'm back in my room. I did not sleep that night. [Awake]

⚜️ Niklaus on another occasion, escorting a very beautiful, dark haired, Latina out of the chateau after a night spent together. I catch sight of the woman staring directly at me as she and Klaus walk past me in the courtyard. She says nothing about it to him. [Awake]

⚜️ Elijah has a very tense conversation over speaker phone with Marcel in his office. Idk why this is on speaker phone since nobody that I can see is with Elijah...except me. But Elijah doesn't see me or he is pretending not to??? Anyways, Marcel is vehemently deflecting Elijah's pointed accusations that he's trying to undermine the Mikaelson's authority over New Orleans. Marcel points out that he can't undermine "Mikaelson authority" when he's settled across the river, not inside the French Quarter, & running his own vampire club. He can't be blamed that he runs the show better than them. Elijah adjusts something on his sleeves, reiterates the terms of a truce they had made, and Marcel laughs. Somewhere outside the office, I hear the sound of a door being slammed shut. [Awake]

⚜️ Father Kieran stomps into the chateau & he looks like absolute garbage. He demands to talk to Elijah while Klaus taunts him in the courtyard and Kieran barely restrains what I imagine was going to be a punch to the face. Elijah takes the priest up to his office but not after reminding Klaus that he's being "sullen" for someone who wanted to be King of New Orleans. This leaves me alone with Klaus in the courtyard whose mood suddenly swings to anger. He flings one of the garden tables across the courtyard, nearly missing me. I'm not happy about this either, Klaus. [Awake]

⚜️ Klaus just sitting there & reading a book for what felt like a half an hour. Pretty sure it was a Dickens book. I honestly wasn't really paying attention because while he was in his book, I was trying to slam my body against the invisible barrier that prevents me from leaving the chateau. Eventually I tired myself out to the point I ended up back in my CR. [Awake]

⚜️ Klaus and Rebekah sniping at each other after Klaus took a jab at Rebekah about her choices in "rebound guys." Elijah rubs at his forehead like he's having a particularly bad migraine and eventually walks away. There is a dead body of a girl just laying on the table in-between Klaus and Rebekah like she's the leftover McDonald's bags they forgot to toss in the trash. Her blood is dripping down onto the rug, creating a huge dark red stain spot. I am still not used to this. The show made it a lot...easier to take in. [Awake]

⚜️ The hell week Niklaus & Rebekah seemed to be in a competition on who could be more petty. I would seriously get tiny minishifts of Rebekah turning up the music when Niklaus was painting or Niklaus ruining her sheets & bed with another...leftover...person. That he'd just fed on. Or Rebekah tainting the rim of all of Klaus' wine glasses with Vervain. Niklaus fucked up Oliver in turn. Elijah had to squash it with a big, uncomfortable, family fun time meeting. Saying that they were letting their boredom get the better of them finally being able to enjoy having a "home" again. Why do I gotta be a part of family fun time? [Awake]

⚜️ Being in my CR, walking into the kitchen for a 3 am snack, and hearing Elijah's voice say "Niklaus, listen to reason!" as if the two of them were just in the other room and me replying in a deadpan voice before I realized I said anything "he's not gonna, bro." [Awake]

⚜️ Watching the St. Anne's massacre with Cami's twin brother just losing his shit. I'm not going to elaborate on this one. There's a reason the show didn't really show the scene in full. [Asleep]

⚜️ Laying awake in my bed, staring up at the ceiling because I can't sleep, noticing that it looks different than I remember, and seeing a familiar hand out of the corner of my eye. This hand has a daylight ring attached to it and leather bracelets with steel beads. My heart leaps into my throat. I jump out of bed to realize I'm back inside my room in my CR. Nobody is in my bed. [Awake]

⚜️ The three week period of time in my CR when Joeseph Morgan scambot pages kept flooding into my Facebook inbox. This isn't a minishift, it was just weird & super annoying. [Awake]

⚜️ One of the few times I wasn't stuck inside the Mikaelson chateau. Klaus is standing in the shadows of an alleyway across the street from Rousseau's, I think?? He's waiting for a person to come outside. [Awake]

So these are all the major minishifts that are memorable. Trust me, there's been more but they were just...little mundane moments that happened for an instant & were gone just as quick.

All of these minishifts and I still can't put any of them together as to why my imagination & dreams keep bringing me there. After all, I am currently obsessed with Hazbin Hotel & would rather be chilling with Alastor or Nifty or fucking Vox even.

Tomorrow is the New Moon in Pisces and it's a prime time to start dreamwork. So even if I don't feel prepared enough... I've decided it's high time to actually stop resisting the tug & be the bigger problem for my most likely all in my head dream Mikaelsons.

Wish me luck.

I'll be reporting in soon with a breakdown of my "TVD/Originals DR" and field notes. This time, I'm going to focus on a "DR-self" that I can embody so that I'm not stuck as a ghost which is a huge big bummer. Of course, that also means that the Mikaelsons will be able to see & interact with me. If I run into them at all...

[katiifaetarot]

Before we start:

Thank you to that anonymous person/message i recieved last night regarding my previous tarot reading blog post, I only recieved one, but boy did it make me feel better about my current path and where i am headed! Thank you for taking the time to send that message, i greatly FKN appreciate it and it gave me confidence and drive to keep going today!! ♡♡

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Hello friends, beings, and starlights! This is my third tarot reading on here and Im new to the tarot community (at least on this specific platform) and would like to help guide, give honest/TRUTHFUL advice, and be a safe space for anyone+everyone who feels safe here! 🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

My goals/intentions are always to help others through my experience, to teach/guide them to work on themselves, and encourage them to find the strength, courage, discipline, and honest wisdom within themselves, without looking for outside validation!

** I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

___________________________________________

Today's reading is short, simple, sweet, and straight to the point: Messages you need to recieve for the New Month starting today! Feb 1st, 2024 ( sooo its not timeless but also is timeless b/c time is wacky and weird HA )˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

There are 4 piles and you will be picking through your pile's SPECIFIC Oracle Card! (may sound confusing, but basically, you're picking using the word associated with your pile's oracle card for today!!) which is right below this text! Feel free to look at the specific photos for each pile if you feel called too!

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✨️🧚🏽‍♀️please choose your pile and may your intuition and inner knowing guide you to the pile with the energy most suited for you and most suited to help you along your path at this current point in time, no matter what that might sound like🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

PILE 1- Mindful

PILE 2- Soulful

PILE 3- Peace

PILE 4- Balance

** sometimes ( most of the time ) i will pick up on multiple energies that need attention or want to be expressed during the reading so i ASK YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS DURING THOSE TYPES OF READINGS:

depending on how the reader chooses to look at the situation or however the situation resonates for the reader and because this is a general reading;

⚠️you HAVE to be able to use your better discernment + better judgement skills to fully absorb the message and be able to do the necessary work to keep you on track for the future you WANT for yourself⚠️

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PILE 1: Mindful

New Month Message(s): FOCUS ON FILLING YOUR DAILY LIFE WITH QUALITY SITUATIONS, FOCUS ON BALANCING OUT YOUR LIFE AND YOUR INTERNAL HEAD SPACE, FOCUS ON CULTIVATING YOUR DESIRED FUTURE!!

Stop paying attention to people,places, or things that no longer matter. This new month is trying to teach you the lesson of mindfulness. Which means stillness.....which also essentially means meditating and not being afraid of silence. Patience.

Sometimes mediating can be standing on your front or back porch for 1-5mins in nature, absorbing what you're grateful for in that particular moment or letting go of someone/something which no longer brings you peace or no longer helps with cultivating healthier habits. ((Take it how it resonates but be aware there are soooo many more examples that could apply here as well, just use YOUR discernment and trust your intuition please!!))

The point is that meditating looks differently for everyone, or maybe the same sometimes!! But regardless, you must find a way to fully tap into the silence that will help you learn patience this month.

And yes this will take mental fortitude and strength on YOUR part to fully absorb + CREATE these moments that help you find balance, rest, MINDFULNESS, resiliency, PATIENCE, etc. But that word create is important here b/c, YOU HAVE TO BE PAYING ATTENTION TO HOW YOU FEEL, WHAT YOU NEED, WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOUR BODY NEEDS/WANTS, WHO IS AROUND YOU, etc!!!! to even CREATE a space or CREATE time for yourself that focuses on the practice of mindfulness.

(( some of you have to be willing to admit that you might need some proper rest first before you can even BEGIN a mindfulness routine for yourself that will stick!! ))

YOU have to do the work or else you wont see the changes you want. YOU also have to accept things for how they are now and be willing to see your mistakes and do better.

This month will be huge for you, if you allow yourself to fully feel what needs to be released, start cultivating mindfulness for your future endeavors, and just resting. Just rest and allow yourself to feel the flow of life while also understanding: You are a human, who is doing human things, and living a human expirence; So tap into the hope, strength, and wisdom that comes along with this journey called life.

Also dont be afraid to do things differently!! Maybe you're the trendsetter of the century ;)

This month is all about believing in yourself pile 1, So Just Do It !!!!!!

Things to do OR look into this February:

Yoga or Meditations on YouTube, Going out to classes that focus on Meditation or Yoga in the real world, REIKI, Listening to chakra meditations while you sleep ( specifically getting sacral + solar plexus chakras ), Taking walks in nature to appreciate things around you.

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PILE 2: Soulful

New Month Message(s): TAP INTO YOUR DEPTH, TAP INTO THE PRIDE YOU FEEL FOR YOURSELF AND HOW FAR YOU'VE COME, TAP INTO YOUR MOST LOVING, AUTHENTIC, RAWEST FORM!

Pile 2, this month is all about being authentic(soulful) WITHOUT FEAR! dont let your fears or doubts hold you back from doing or being what you want/need for yourself right now!

Collaboration could be HUGE this month if you're willing to change how you view yourself, your skills, your abilities, your achievements, your- etc!!! Focusing on building yourself up instead of tearing yourself down will make new possibilities and opportunities happen for you.

Stop doubting and playing the victim! Its time to stand tf up and CELEBRATE YOURSELF!! You have done alot of work and gone through HEAVY situations to get yourself to here and now. So BE FULLY AND TOTALLY proud of yourself for how far you have come and get excited for more!!!

You know life isnt fair to good people sometimes, so why dwell or wallow when you could just as easily Journal about w/e is or was bothering you and let that SHIIIZZZ gooooo!!!

Dont carry unnecessary burdens. Tap into your passion, your drive, YOUR DETERMINATION!! flourish in your authentic and soulful self! Dont be afraid of showing up how you've always wanted to show up in the world! Its okay to be different, cooky, wacky, WEIRD!!! as long as you're happy......who gives a FDDUCK!

CERTAINLY NOT YOU BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY BEING YOUR WONDERFUL, INSPIRING, RICH IN ABUNDANCE SELLLF TO CARE!!

You're ready to take on life and all its battles, you are a fighter-WARRIOR- and truthfully life only gets tougher, but it also gets easier to deal with once you trust yourself to handle anything that MIGHT come your way by utilizing your skills and abilities for your betterment instead of using your preceptiveness as a way to hurt yourself or tear you down.

Things to do OR look into this February:

journaling, dressing up however you want, going out and expirencing something new, do something you're afraid of doing, sit with your accomplishments and thank yourself for how far you've come but also acknowledge the road to your future in some way.

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PILE 3: Peace

New Month Message(s): DONT CHASE BUT ATTRACT WHAT YOU DESIRE, FOCUS ON YOUR NEEDS, CULTIVATING EMOTIONAL BOUNDARIES // BETTER BOUNDARIES IN GENERAL!!

Pile3, you're so soft, nurturing, kind, gentle, nice, and so many more wonderful words but you're also stubborn(>_<)

Its not about the outside, its about the inside. Refocusing your attention on what you NEED to calm your mind and what you NEED to balance out your dreams with your reality, etc.....will do wonders for manifestations coming in or out!

You're beautiful pile 3, and this month is asking you to focus on yourself before going out and trying to fit new people in your life. Focus on the ones you have now that give you care, attention, and love in healthy ways********* while also getting rid of people that dont respect you or deserve your kind and compassionate energy.

This month is about Tapping into your emotions and understanding that EXPRESSING your emotions will ultimately bring you closer to what you desire....but you have to forget about what you want. Focus on what YOU NEEEEEEEED!!!!!

Dont chase, Attract means believing that what you want(deserve) wont pass you by, and the more you enjoy your own company and get to know yourself deeper, the more you can appreciate things around you and maybe even find that SP or New Job or NEW ANYTHING!!

save yourself for the correct people, but first you must do the necessary work inside yourself to even trust yourself enough to show up infront of the correct people authentically and unapologetically too.

work on maintaining and setting the healthy/proper boundaries within yourself to help you express any or ALL boundaries you will have with other people later in life! Dont be afraid, use your voice! If someones reaction is less then pleasant when enforcing a boundary......leave. They dont appreciate or respect you.

Seriously get rid of any negative self talk or negative people/energies in your life! Stay calm and present as you navigate who needs to go and what in your mind also needs to go.

Things to do OR look into this February:

feeling your raw emotions without shame, saving money, shifting perspectives, taking self-care days seriously, more YOU TIME! setting and maintaining boundaries, releasing the anger, sadness, hurt, or all of the PAST IN GENERAL!! Forgiveness is key--either towards yourself or someone else.

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PILE 4: Balance

New Month Message(s): BALANCE YOUR MIND TO BALANCE YOUR SURROUNDINGS, HEART NEEDS SOME HEALING, HERMIT MODE NEEDS TO BE ACTIVATED SO YOU CAN FOCUS ON YOURSELF WITHOUT DISTRACTION!!

okaaayy pile 4 :(, im.sorry for any loss or heartbreak you may have suffered recently or in the past that still affects you and your mental state.

But its time to move on. Maybe not forgive, just yet, but a release needs to happen so you can fully enjoy your life again.....or even just enjoy YOUR energy again.

This will require a hard stop and HARD look into what is causing imbalances in your daily life. Continuing to walk away from old cycles, patterns, ways of being, ways of doing, comfortability that keeps your complacent, fears, doubts, etc. Will ultimately help you keep a balanced mind and calm demeanor too.

Allow the hurt to wash over you first, of course....but your self care this month is fundamentally about bringing back balance to your life that has grown overcrowded with too many commitments and responsibilities.

Which is why You NEED to take either a mini hermit mode ( if you can//when you can ) or a HUGE HERMIT MODE!!! so that the hermit mode will afford you with opportunities to get rid of what no longer needs to be bothering you and help you focus on what NEEDS your attention.

Feeling suspended or stuck right now might make you feel uncomfortable, but working through the uncomfortableness to ultimately get yourself to movement on the other side will be so worth the lonely nights and harder ones too. Once again, i am truly sorry but i also believe you can get through this too!

Things to do OR look into this February:

reading that book you have, reading a completely new book, try a new recipe!, make space for quiet time for yourself, look into those projects you've been wanting to make progress in, making time and putting effort in yourself!

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I sincerely hope you received what you needed and released what you don't !! See you again soon!! Take it easyyy and just breathe and fllooowwww!!! you got this! byyeee~🧚🏽‍♀️✨️

**please let me know how I'm doing in any way you can! that is the easiest way to support me and also a good way to signal to me that I should keep going + any helpful advice from the community would be welcomed and appreciated 🥺 🥹 🙏🏼

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⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

**ONCE AGAIN, I AM NOT A MEDICAL OR HEALTH PROFESSIONAL; PLEASE USE YOUR OWN JUDGEMENT AND DISCERNMENT TO DETERMINE IF YOU NEED OR WANT TO SEEK PROPER HELP OR TREATMENTS FOR YOURSELF OUTSIDE OF TUMBLR OR SOCIAL MEDIA!!

⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️

[weird-bookworm]

ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ʙʀᴏᴛʜᴇʀ!ꜱᴇᴠᴇɴᴛᴇᴇɴ

HYUNG LINE MAKNAE LINE

a/n: part 2 of the abomination i posted 4 (?) weeks ago

pairing: elder brother!svt x reader

genre: headcanons, fluff, crack, comfort

word count: same as before, around 1050-ish

warnings: mentions of food, mention of fire, a couple curse words, mention of harassing (dw nothing srs), idk what can be a trigger help a girl out here 😭

ʟᴇᴇ ꜱᴇᴏᴋᴍɪɴ

LOUD™

(dolby? who's that? i only know dk 👍🏻)

coddles you with love

clingy

no concept of personal space

unexpectedly protective

your room is practically his now

puppy eyes at you for everything

as if he's the younger one and not you

randomly starts singing

*soul left your body* even though you've heard him do it your entire life

despises it when you're sad

gets adorably angry at whoever or whatever made you sad— just to see you giggle

innocent babie

(protecc him pls)

aka you're more dirty minded than he is

might be the elder but you're stuck taking care of him

elaborate skits in the middle of the night

you don't tell him but you enjoy them as much as he does

ᴋɪᴍ ᴍɪɴɢʏᴜ

puppy personified

practically a giant

you often wonder if he took your share of tall genes

25/8 teasing you about your height

"want help shorty?" annoying smirk

"i'm not short you bitch, you're tall" angry pout

*cue giggles*

picks you up randomly and scares you shitless

always ends up cooking for you though

y'all have a very playful relationship

affectionate insults are as plentiful as his clothes

a giant dork basically

gets sad when you're sad

envelops you in his arms and holds you as long as you need

so so easy to prank

and so annoying because he knows every girl you know has a crush on him

flirts with your friends to annoy you

likes to cuddle

wakes up in your room 5 days out of 7

roleplays as your blanket and refuses to move

xᴜ ᴍɪɴɢʜᴀᴏ

you're his princess

the apple of his eye

he's very very soft for you

but you're the person he's fights with the most

Savage™

The sassy siblings ✨

y'all are more twins than anything

similar fashion styles

both martial artists

both self-assured

and really good looking 👀

pretty much a package deal atp

your friends are his friends, and his are yours

you're his forever priority

forces you to meditate lol

as in wakes you up early every morning and makes you sit and meditate with him

will not let you go back to sleep

safe to say he's the only person who's seen your whiny side

ʙᴏᴏ ꜱᴇᴜɴɢᴋᴡᴀɴ

dramatic

bickering

a lot of it

even bickers with your best friend 💀

does favours for you unprompted

"stop looking at me like that, i did it out of the goodness of my heart and this is the thanks i get, hmph"

*dramatically gets mad*

while you're there looking at him like •_• -_- •_•

later uses it as leverage

"remember that one time i brought you a glass of water? you owe me!" "i didn't aSK YOU TO DO IT!!"

embodiment of getting second hand embarrassment

no kidding, pretends he doesn't know you at anything remotely embarrassing you do

✨MaTeRiAl GwOrL✨

hallabong full of sass

only and only He can bully you

you have a problem? hold his americano, he's ready to throw hands

squishy lil tangerine

ᴄʜᴡᴇ ʜᴀɴꜱᴏʟ

chill asf

takes you to movies every weekend

sends you random songs he likes or songs that remind him of you

unbothered king

comfortable silences

hang outs include not speaking and listening to music

while chilling like starfishes on the floor and staring at the ceiling

strange lil guy

except you definitely take after him

down to the style of walking

bad dad jokes

never understands the good ones 💀

occasionally loud enough to rouse the entire neighbourhood

cluelessly cute

does silly things when you're sad

like sit upside down on the sofa

or just wear one of his out-of-this-world 'outfits'

he's secretly offended you're laughing but at least mission accomplished?

ʟᴇᴇ ᴄʜᴀɴ

the only remotely normal one

often complains that you're weird

and he's lucky that he got the better genes

constant fights over who looks better

often drags you to dance with him

whines for you to cook for him

even though his cooking is perfectly fine

once felt generous and decided to help you make dinner in high school

your parents came back home to smoke in the house and the fire alarm going off

don't think he doesn't notice you going soft when he laughs

often acts like the most typical 'oppa'

then both of you cringe and laugh together

sneaks out with you every friday

weirdly mature when the situation calls for it

once punched a guy in the face because he thought he was harassing you

had to awkwardly apologise because that wasn't the case. at all.

very very common and very very petty fights

[mycatishandsome]

@zdffsgun answering: I don’t shift, but I am still excited to know how did you shift? What kind of mindset did you have? Maybe you used some tricks? Also how did you master lucid dreaming? I had one lucid dream and a few ones where I feel like I am aware but not aware?

Note:I didn’t read through this to see if I made any grammar mistakes forgive me I’m in class

So lots here so I’m gonna number!

1.) how did I shift

I could probably write a book on the many ways I’ve shifted. There’s not one way I’ve found to be the “best or worst” honestly. Towards the end, what I did was: meditate before bed/before a shift (this sometimes was a 10 minute, sometimes more, nothing particular, really just found small guided meditations on YouTube), laid in a comfortable position in bed, used my “third eye” to visualize my dr room, used my senses to kind of feel around (what did my dr smell like? Note: don’t ‘imagine’, use your gut to ‘know’. What did my room look like? What did I hear? So on). And it generally would just kind of happen. Sometimes I feel alsleep and it would happen, and sometimes it would happen right there and then.

2.) what kind of mindset did I have.

So for the longest time I would over think shifting, like read into EVERYTHING. But I found that being really nonchalant is the best way to go about it. Think about all the things you overthink in your life and how it never helps you to do that especially when trying to achieve your goals. It very much still applies to shifting. The less you stress, the more progress you’ll see. Just relax.

3.) did I use any tricks?

I kind of answered that above, but I don’t really have any crazy tricks. Just apply to shifting as you would anything else in life.

4.) how did I master lucid dreaming?

Again, I could write a whole post on this. Honestly I did it exactly as you’d expect. I read up on how to master it, and legit followed all the articles. That means I did all the lil tricks like asking yourself if you’re dreaming during the day, checking yours hands constantly, checking clocks , etc. after awhile(like a few months to a year) it just becomes second nature. I’m out of practice but probably could slip back into if I wanted. I would lucid dream any of the nights I wasn’t shifting, and especially without trying. Realistically it’s not difficult so I def recommend trying it!

5.) I’ve def had lucid dreams where I’m aware but don’t feel awake. I don’t really have an explanation for this, I think it’s just a weird limbo that happens sometimes.

I hope this answers some questions!! If you want more def let me know!!

[moonlight-tmd]

Anything insecticon bee.

Mating habits? Wing talk? How he sleeps so deep they all check to make sure he isn’t dead.

Prowlbee or Blitzbee

I knew i'd see you in my ask box sooner of later~

The hibernation protocol is like stasis but it gets into action automatically when it gets cold. Let's say like, late autumn- Bee will get cold but still function normally til mid-November, but after that his Hibernation Protocol will kick in and he'll eat more and move slower and after one week of it working he'll get all cozy in berth with multiple blankets and just snooze. Not even the plant's alarm will wake him up.

The first time his protocol kicked in everyone was worried cuz Bee was- well, not acting like Bee! Then they went into panic cuz Bee disappeared and there was no trace of him. Only 2 days later Ratchet found him sleeping under one of the boilers they had(the only one working at that time) with a blanket. Still, he had to shake him awake cuz he would not wake up to him calling. Panic might have been eased but still they were hella worried about him, Prowl goes in every morning to check on Bee snoozing in his room with blankets and heaters so he wouldn't crawl into some weird space again, others check in whenever they pass by his room, Ratchet comes to do a scan around noon everyday until Bee is waking up and being active again in late February. Still there was no way Sari wouldn't have woken him up for Christmas- she did succed because she jumped on him while blasting an air-horn to his audial. She does this every time before Christmas. And the others scold her everytime for it.... Bee doesn't mind as much, he likes spending time with his team. Honestly he'd be sad if he missed Christmas with them. Sari also wakes him up on Valentines Day.

ProwlBee: Prowl would essentially move in with Bee and spend his free time with him, cuddling and meditating as he listens to Bee's slow vents.

BlitzBee: Blitz lives with Bee in his room so of course he's gonna act as an additional heater for his hummel- he just lays next to him and wraps his arms and legs around the big Bee-rrito and snoozes too. He wakes up around noon and goes to bed very late. (habit from his decepticon days) Most of the time he stays in berth with Bee just napping and cuddling or sits by him sculpting.

Now onto wings! I imagine seekers/fliers would use their wings to attract or impress a potential mate. Insecticons do the same. Of course, there was no way Bee could do it before he went into the cocoon. So after Bee hatches and has those features showing, he will defo do unintentional displays for his beloved:

If ProwlBee: Prowl has knowledge about animals- and insecticons now that there was the deal with the cocoon- so he knows Bee is doing it to impress him. Which there is no need for, but damn it's working.

If BlitzBee: Blitz is half-seeker, he knows the whole ordeal with seekers trying to impress potential sparkmates with their wings. He's done the same with Bee, even if Bee didn't realize. Bee's wings are the most beautiful ones he's ever seen, and when Bee spreads them out and flutters them so they sparkle- Sweet Primus, he's so smitten. He will also flutter his own wings, Bee has a strange feeling about them- like they're the most impressive part of Blitz.

And i know what you want- i saved it for last. And a reminder that i do not write transformers the "usual" way: here is my version of how they do the interfacing.

Spoiler just in case: NSFW, alien biology

So, you have the normal transformers junk written out in the post i linked. Insecticons have it a bit differently as you imagine. Although for Bee it is mixed cuz he is not full Insecticon like Waspinator or Blackarachnia.

Insecticons, for all i could come up with, have a hidden slot under their abdomens(back thingy). So they do the deed the normal, sexual way. That slot is also a way for eggs to come out so the larva can hatch.

Bee also has that slot. Now interfacing is a little bit tricky- he still interfaces with his sparkmate(Blitz or Prowl) like regular transformers would. But everytime it happens he has to have a rag or towel wrapped around his abdomen cuz that slot gets kinda leaky when they get kinky...

So a normal cybertronian would have 4 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. I imagine that because Bee's biology has changed slightly, he only has 2 tendrils and 1 reproductive strut. And while transformers can release the reproductive strut on command- insecticons? eeh not really. So it's often hard to see which wire is coming out of where cuz the fluff on his belly keeps poofing up due to static and blocking the view- Bee has to put gel in it to keep it down. While the tendrils and the reproductive strut can't really intertwine or else whoops, Bee and his partner can still play with it.

If you're asking for kinks then there's the feeding kink, wing kink, glossa kink(?), biting kink and i don't know what else. The tendrils themselves are kinky enough to play with i guess. I mostly write for BlitzBee so yeh, i dunno what Prowl would be into.

I had a very funny not-canon-to-this-AU scenario in my head earlier;

So Blitz and Bee decide to get funky now that Bee is different and see if there is some new kinks to discover... They did the deed once.

The following days Bee is feeling odd, he's not as energetic and he can't retch up honey to give to Blitzy as a treat.

At some point Prowl gets concerned and tells him to go to Ratchet for a scan, Blitz goes with him. So they do the scan and Ratchet literally just stares at the result image with wide optics and semi-scared expression.

The next thing everyone in the plant hears is a scream accompanied by a loud metallic thud.

So turns out, because Bee's biology changed- he got sparked. (they got all confused which wire is which, whoops.)

Oh, and did i forgot to mention? Insecticons can have up to 20 larva per brood.

Lucky that Bee is only part-insecticon so he ended up having 8 Newsparks in him... which they ended up terminating cuz there is no way they would be able to handle it.

Yeah... Blitz and Bee interface rarely now in fear of it happening again. They still get kinky sometimes, you don't have to have direct contact to have fun.

Altering the non-canon scenario: If Bee did keep them, his other insecticon protocol would kick in- similar to how he was unaware when he was making a cocoon, Bee essentially becomes kind of feral and builds a small hive/nest in the basement. There was a storage room no one ever went into so it was a perfect place. So he disappears and nobody knows where he is until Prowl hears something when he's in the basement and finds Bee hissing and a pile of insecticon eggs in the hive-nest. Once the littles hatch he goes back to normal, dw.

The way Bee having eggs would happen; Newsparks incubate in the Sparkchamber but then get moved to a special compartment in his abdomen where eggs get formed around them and they get laid. Then like normal insecticons, Bee would cover them with honey that the eggs absorb nutriens from and the Sparkling-larva is growing, just like what Bee is after the cocoon. Then once they hatch they still eat the honey until they can eat solid food and energon. Then later on they also cocoon themselves.

I'm getting way too scientific with this, geez.

I know you probably wanted some NSFW action but honestly i can't make myself write it like this. You gotta send me a direct ask for me to ditch my dignity and aswer honestly. Also give me a prompt cuz no idea what or how to write nsfw.

If you weren't asking that- oh well, now you know just in case.

[icyrambles]

one of the things i find consistently weird about transformers as a piece of media is how the decepticons keep being the bad guys without any really attempt at reworking them as a faction

pretty much every continuity that exists has the decepticons filling the role as the primary antagonists. here's a list of the tf media i've consumed over the past year; g1, animated, prime, cyberverse, earthspark, rotb, first 2 bayverse movies, idw1 + idw2, the first 5 issues of tf skybound, shattered glass, the first 10 episodes of rid15, and a few episodes of armada and beast wars. and literally all of those have the decepticons fulfilling the role of antagonists.

now i'm specifically not taking issue with the fact that the decepticons are the bad guys. that's not my problem here. my problem is that the franchise as a whole seems to have a problem with actually developing the decepticon characters and the faction as characters/concepts worth being antagonists

this isn't a dash on the existing pieces of transformers media just to be clear, i enjoy cartoonishly evil shenanigans as much as the next person (my favourite character is fucking tarn for goodness sake). instead please read through the rest of this post as a single person's critique of a tonal inconsistency throughout the franchise of transformers

with the more recent pieces of transformers media attempting to paint the decepticons in a more sympathetic light (see cyberverse and earthspark) i noticed a core writing flaw with how the teams behind these works tackled making the decepticons more morally grey characters.

and that's the fact that they decepticons are still just as evil as they are in the original g1 cartoon, just with a little more grey paint thrown over their war crimes. it's one of the main writing flaws i have with both idw1/2 and earthspark.

because those writing teams really want you to view the decepticons as less evil. they really want you to watch/read through their content and see the decepticons as a group of individuals who, while not right in their actions, still deserve to be treated as more than a villain of the week.

and i agree with this sentiment. i think the decepticons should be more than villains of the week who need to be defeated at all costs. i think the decepticons should get the opportunity to be fully developed characters with hopes, dreams, aspirations, flaws, and emotions just like their autobot counterparts.

but there's a problem with how these writing teams interact with the decepticons. and it's the fact that they're still the bad guys. even if you give megatron a redemption arc in earthspark, there's still the looming implication that he, along with an army, invaded a random planet and potentially killed millions. (it's a kid show i'm not expecting them to go into detail with all of megan's war crimes, but earthspark does imply that megatron did fuck up a lot of earth's shit)

idw does a slightly better job with this, showing that the autobots have their fair share of war crimes, but the decepticons are still the primary antagonists throughout the comic's run.

even shows that paint the decepticons as purely the bad guys have tonal issues with how they're written

taken animated for example. the autobots get to be fully developed characters with personality traits outside of just being the good guys. bumblebee is impulsive, he likes video games and racing and being a little shit, he's not a beacon of virtue. prowl is antisocial, he doesn't like communicating with his team, but he fucking love nature, he loves meditating. he has a whole backstory about wanting to avoid being drafted into a war for fucks sake.

but the animated decepticons don't get that. there's nothing about blitzwing or lugnut or starscream that makes them uniquely suited to being in the decepticon cast. none of them get to have defining character traits outside of being decepticons who need to be beaten.

the same can be said for prime.

while i don't particularly think that any of the tfp characters are written well, at least the autobots have reasons for their personalities. arcee is a jaded bitch because she watched both of her partners die right in front of her. optimus is distant because he lost his best friend to differing ideologies. ratchet is grouchy all the time because he's constantly running low on fuel and is probably worried about his only family dying horribly in a war while he sits on the sidelines.

but the decepticons. they're just evil. megatron gets so addicted to power that he hypes himself up on the space equivalent of hard drugs for most of the series. soundwave.... he's there i guess? shockwave decided to violate the laws of nature for shits and giggles because the series never decided to expand upon his character except for evil scientist. starscream gets to be a sniveling coward who gets beat up whenever he appears and we never learn why he acts this way.

time and time again, transformers has an issue with writing decepticons as anything more than the bad guys.

and the reason why i take issue with this, isn't just because it's "bad writing" it's because the decepticons have a habit of having backstories that involve being discriminated against and it leaves a very bad taste in my mouth when the group of people who are more than often classified as second class citizens on their own planet get lumped into the role of "bad guys who want to steal and murder and pillage" when they want to change the system that is actively discriminating against them

and this all sounds like a lot of complaining. and it is. but i do have a method of trying to remedy this mess. two ways actually

#1: the hard way. (aka, this is the harder of the writing solutions because it requires viewing the decepticons as more than villains)

instead of having the decepticons being a group of revolutionaries who loose their way and become evil and genocidal seemingly for no reason other than "oh well revolutions don't really work and anyone who starts one just wants to cause problems against the system" why don't writers actually try and view the decepticon faction for what it is in most cases a group of people who were heavily discriminated against and who want to change their planet to actually treat them more than objects.

cybertron is shown to be a shitty planet to live on in more continuity, i can find it perfectly believable that people would want to change the system through radial reform.

show me why the decepticons became the way that they are. don't just tell me that megatron was always a bad person who wanted to become a dictator. that's stupid and highly uncreative after it's been done 15 times in a row in every single continuity

i would highly prefer a series that takes place from the decepticon perspective. i wanna know more about them. why is starscream constantly trying to overthrow megatron? is it because he thinks megatron is a bad leader? does he have a plan for how he would change things if he did become leader? if he's just doing it because he's egotistical, does he have a backstory that made him the way that he is?

give me decepticons with hobbies and personalities outside of wanting to kill everything.

#2: the easy way (this is easier because it doesn't require radical re-imagining of the decepticons as a whole)

just make the decepticons the ruling class. genuinely, just make the decepticons the people in charge from the beginning. you wouldn't have to imagine that many changes. megatron can still be a warlord intent on conquering the galaxy (it's just re-framed through the lens of him always being this way instead of having to learn violence is a solution), starscream constantly vying for the throne is now much easier to understand because the faction isn't rising up from the lower class, they were always in power and starscream wants more of it.

it even works out for the autobots because them being the lower class rising up against a tyrannical force re-contextualizes their desperate want to defend planets being attack by the decepticons. they're not just doing it because it's the right thing, they're doing it because they know what it's like. and that makes their motivations seem more sympathetic than a fucking god complex of saving the "tiny pathetic humans who can't defend themselves"

the decepticons being purely the bad guys is actually the reason why i'm not gonna read the rest of the skybound comics. i have no interest in another comic that is functionally (at least from the five issues i've read) just a bloodier, more violent g1. it's disappointing that instead of trying to explore the existing transformers characters through a different lens other than "evil" tf writers keep making the decepticons the same old bad guys.

this franchise has so much potential for interesting stories, cyberverse proved that to me when they allowed the autobots to team up with clobber, dead end, and soundwave, but it's being held back by the pervasive trope of the decepticons being the bad guys in every single story

[l1nghuarchive]

— WE ONLY SEE EACH OTHER AT WEDDINGS AND FUNERALS (part 1)

A/n. Yay it has been posted after 2+ months! The first chapter of the drifter! I also posted this on wattpad so please follow me there too!

Warnings. None

word count . 1330

On the twelfth hour of the first day of October 1989, forty-three women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got eight of them.

—------------------------------

There sat a girl in her own realm of consciousness as her eyelids were closed while meditating, though what was rather strange about this domain was it contained shards or rather memories stored into fragments of glass it levitated around the girl. The fragments were stored with (name)'s childhood both the good memories as well as the bad ones, yet growing up as a hargreeves most of her childhood was spent training and fighting off robbers.

—------------------------------

Sure most of (name)'s fragments of feelings contained sadness, sobs and crying especially the death of number 6 in the hargreeves home of course there was laughter but it barely happened with the pressuring gaze of

A fond smile dawned on (name)'s face as she remembered all the funny moments in her childhood. It was soon disturbed when a loud sound pierced through her head interrupting her meditation and at the same time the fragments had stopped floating around instead landing on the ground. Her head felt weird, everything was fuzzy and her vision started to blur. This wasn't something she usually encountered when in her domain, was something... InInterfering from outside? No it can't be... She used almost all of her power to make sure this domain is unbreakable.

Her headache got worse as she was stumbling before her vision went black.

—------------------------------

5 of the 8 hargreeves children stared in shock as they witnessed two of their siblings who were supposingly counted as 'missing' were right in front of their eyes, one unconscious while the other was getting rid of leaves from his hair perhaps the most shocking part was that they still stayed 16 despite being gone for over 16 years.

"Does anyone else see little number five and number eight or is it just me?"

Klaus asked while him and the others cautiously stepped closer to their now younger siblings.

A creepy giggled was heard yet no one other than (name) could hear it.

Upon hearing the giggle, (name)'s eyes shot open and she got up from the ground shaking a few leaves from her head.

'I'm back..?"

The now teenage girl thought to herself as she stared at the familiar structure of the mansions she grew up in, though perhaps seeing the faces who she used to fight crime with who are now grown made her even more shocked. She was gone this long? Though, as she turned to her right, she saw five... the same five who had rebelled against their father and had gone missing in the process. She sighed before walking back into her old home and into the kitchen wanting to eat or drink something perhaps if mom was still here she might make a snack?

—------------------------------

"What's the date? The exact date."

Five asked while sighing, taking a load of bread and walking to the table where everyone sat.

"The 24th."

"Of what?"

"March."

Perhaps after a period of silence, Luther spoke up.

"So are we gonna talk about what just happened?"

Luther asked directed to (name) and five who was busy making his snack while the other kept quiet with her cup of water in hand as she stared into her reflection, she saw her eyes turned yellow and a smirk was present in the reflection. She's just hallucinating right? No way 𝐢𝐭 can be back....

"It's been seventeen years."

Luther stated while five scoffed and rolled his eyes. "It's been a lot longer than that." Five said while space jumping back to the cutting board to make his snack.

"Where've you been?" Diego asked, while crossing his arms and eyes squinted as he watched five space jumps .

"The future. It's shit by the way."

Five answered while blinking away and making his favourite snack, so he did the thing that father forbidden him to do.. ha that does sound like what five would do.

"Wait, how did you get back?"

Viktor asked, still trying to process the information that five had just stated.

"In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time."

Five answered not even looking up, perhaps he was used to these questions? Though, even when he answered Viktor no one understood what he had said.

"That makes no sense."

"Well, it would if you were smarter." Five retorted at Diego, in which the latter immediately stood up perhaps ready to fight. Although, Luther held him back not wanting a fight especially when it's their father's death day.

"How long were you there?"

"Thirty years... Give or take."

Luther and Diego slowly fell back into their seats as everyone was stunned by the information.

"Psh what an oldie!"

A voice exclaimed as she sat on the table though no one paid attention to her. After all she was invisible, though not to (name) . (name) sighed and drank her cup of water, wanting to ignore the spirit that had came to annoy her once again.

"So what are you saying? That you're forty-six?

"No," Five looked up at Luther, visibly annoyed with his siblings' lack of understanding of such a simple thing. "My consciousness is fifty-eight. Apparently, my body is now sixteen again." He stated in a matter of fact tone, while taking a bite of his sandwich.

"Wait, how does that even work?"

Viktor asked,wanted to clear up his confusion though perhaps not wanting to answer anymore questions he simply walked off taking another bite of his favourite snack.

"Delores kept saying the equations were off... Eh, bet she's laughing now."

Soon enough, (name) began drifting off from the conversation as the spirit who was forcefully attached to her was swinging their legs on the table like a child.

"What else is there to say? It's the circle of life."

Five said while walking off, which snapped (name) back to reality as she finished her cup of water. Not saying a word she quickly went back to her old bedroom, she didn't want to answer any of Luther's or anyone's questions as of right now.

—------------------------------

As (name) stared into the mirror, her eyes were greeted with her 16 year old self. Although, she wasn't all that surprised. The domain she created made sure no time was able to pass through which meant she couldn't age, perhaps she might be able to age since she's now back on earth.

Although, she quickly catched on that their adoptive father was dead she felt no remorse for him. After all, he was the reason why she and the others were like this. Traumatised by their training ever since young. After Ben's death, the family was never the same.

(name) sighed as she fiddled with her uniform's clothes, she went up to look at her closet and all she saw was the same umbrella academy uniform with a few nightwear. Right, her father wouldn't allow them to wear anything else other then those two clothes since he thought that attire matters what you are thinking. He basically forced everyone to wear an uniform to put them in the right "mindset" according to him, though fortunately he allowed the children to decorate their room.

She looked up to her clock and saw the time, Luther planned somesort of memorial service for their father as a way of respect even though most of the family members have already lost all respect and love for the bitter old man.

(name) quickly grabbed her black umbrella and went outside to the courtyard where it was still raining , meeting up with Five and Klaus in the process.

Taglist. @kiraisastay @deez-nuts0 @theprincessbee @tylerscreat0r

Sorry if my writing kinda sucks... :') but promoting my wattpad again

[sourseat]

we're 1/4 through the year its time to check in with the goals and vibes

this post is so long

so tbh i haven't been thinking much about the goals and vibes i set at the start of the year. in fact rereading them there are many i had forgotten about lol. so let's revisit

theme no. 1 was self-assurance. i was feeling insecure last year apparently (how quickly i forget...) and wanted to feel solid in myself. i think this is feeling good! i'm not sure it needs to be theme no. 1 anymore! but i'll keep it because it is nice to feel self-assured. feeling insecure is not pleasant.

theme 2 was consume less. this is pretty good and remains a theme i am vibing with

third theme is let go of clinging to / craving stability and certainty. yeah i think i have integrated this. stability is something i might pursue but not something i will expect.

and the goals

join a choir / sing regularly in some form - nixed for now. not vibing.

do at least one overnight camping hike (hopefully more) - okay its so windy here maybe i'll hike and stay in huts or something idk about camping. we'll see!!

go to the pole studio in the town i'll be living in and suss the vibe. if the vibe is good enroll in classes! - i haven't been to the one closest to me yet!! but i will soon and have been to another studio so :)

keep journaling (i've journaled each day this year!) or at least remember journaling is there, and is helpful (i've noticed i tend to journal a lot in Jan and then stop) - i have kept up the journaling! not every day but at least a few times a week.

figure out how i want to have meditation in my life - a work in progress but this is moving up the priority list rn. i have been anxious. meditation helps w that for me.

sort out my digital archives - i haven't started this and the thought of doing so is deeply overwhelming in the terrible way where it gets more overwhelming the longer i wait

finish editing all my half edited videos - : / nope and i'm about to lose access to premiere pro so !! ???

read more poetry, memorise 3 poems (i'm memorising the raven at the moment, it is so long that it might take me all year) - i forgot about this lol, i'm kinda still into it but its low on the list

do PhD revisions and be finished with the phd for REAL - i submitted a draft to my supervisor! nearly done :)

write (at least) one article based on the phd (a reluctant goal. i must.) - feeling confident i will do this due to the environment i am in!

okay some good goals in here. i have been thinking i wanna do some prioritisaiton. that is a long list of goals up there. too many. so here are the ones i am gonna keep in mind for now

Work + career development - stay on top of my job, submit articles, apply for conferences. i am gonna have to keep living for my whole life somehow so i'd best use this time to set myself up to be able to get a job in this field i have spent a bunch of time in.

Meditation + journaling - really wanna get a good vibe with meditation again. Still unsure what this will look like but will prioritise figuring it out.

Organising - there's a genocide happening and I'm not doing shit. wanna get connected with organising communities here. weird being in a new place and not knowing anyone.

Pole + stretching - feeling strong in pole classes recently has felt sooooo good! And dancing... I love it. I think there's not much else in my life here yet that brings that level of joy.

Maintain relationships w people in Aus - this is like a time consuming thing that requires thought! I somehow did not foresee this! And I do want to prioritise it. Messaging people, scheduling calls, this kinda thing. I don't really like messaging generally lol so, it is on the list!!

Travel - I want to see Ireland and Europe while I'm here! And can already sense how easy it will be for two years to pass without me going anywhere.

And backburner goals

Do an overnight hike

Sort out my digital archives

Read + memorise more poetry.

[eneablack]

i channeled my dr s/o, remus

for those of you who don’t know but read from the tile, remus is my boyfriend in my marauders/hogwarts dr, and before that we’re best friends since childhood, so he’s very dear to me.

i shifted there for some time and got to feel his love, not only as a lover but, as i said, as a friend too.

i don’t have many channeling experiences, i tried doing it via letters with my old dr best friend and he replied the next day, then i also tried with another letter to another dr s/o and asked them to channel me back and help me shift but i had a negative experience because i’m pretty sure i didn’t protect myself at that time (i’m a fool i know).

so, i wanted to try again yesterday but i was afraid because of the bad experience i had with channeling the last time, so the afternoon i cleansed my space and recharged my room wards and amulets, then at night (around 2 am) i did a meditation to clear my mind and then a protection/shielding guided meditation, so i finally felt enough protected, and i was ready.

i did a “method” i saw on tiktok and after some minutes i felt his comforting energy/presence. i made sure it was him and, once i did, i sensed a pressure on my hand as if he was holding it to let me know he was there. while we talked, i think i also smelled his warm scent. we talked for about half a hour but i don’t really remember all the things he said to me because again it was 2am so i just went to sleep afterwards and didn’t write anything down. but he said that he was stressed because of exams even if he usually doesn’t really strive to get perfect grades or generally doesn’t worry about school, he also told me he was suffering because of the cold there. while we talked, i felt very comforted and calm, his energy was really cozy and warm and i missed it so much, it really felt as if he was there with me. then, beside the pressure on my hand, i felt as if he caressed my hair and put it behind my ear (which is weird because some days ago i had an experience similar to this, except maybe i was the one who got channeled, and i felt the same hair pull behind my ear, but it was not remus- i made a post about it btw). after some chat, i asked him if he wants to guide me and help me shift there whenever he’s available or wants to, he accepted so i’m waiting for him to guide me soon, even tho i’m not sure in which way, but we’ll figure it out. oh and i asked him to mentally send me a song to fall asleep with, and suddenly i heard Here comes the sun in my head even tho I don’t usually listen to this song, so he probably really sent that.

i loved this experience, it was really as if he was there with me and we were talking face to face. again, his presence and energy was so comforting and calm, it really put me at ease and made me fall asleep with a light headspace.

i will probably channel him again tonight, but this time i’ll write down all the things he says to me so i won’t forget lol.

i really miss him, i want to go back (crying rn).