#weird vibes I'm getting here
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one orrrr
two?
#not a perfect return to posting art#but fuck if my pettiness isn't a great driving force#lol about what snack??#some ole bullshit i saw on the whassit... insta or twitter#one of those two where “FaNs” go to pretend they got no fucking manners#oOoOh you're a this that whatever artist because look you draw like this one OoOoh#fuck outa here#literally I'm gonna post going through my whole goddamn style rolodex#also?#personal art style is not as big a deal as some of these new/young artists think it is#like maybe in commercial or children's book illustration#since they look for a specific vibe#and you're doing yourself an artistic disservice by focusing so much on “creating a personal style”#and this weird fucking self-imposed boundary of like appreciating how an artist renders this or that aspect of their drawing#because they think the plagiarism police are gonna SWAT them#like... it's pretty and you like it bcoz it speaks to you so#fucking just#try it out#try out that type of line weight#try out that color palette#try out that way of lighting a person or a scene#try it#listen everyone is out here being an aesthetic frankenstein's monster#the minute you try out xyz in your art it becomes “your style” because how you interpret it replicate it will be#influenced (altered you could say) by how you draw#unless your ass getting paid to draw on model or your art lead's style or you wanna get on a show/game so you're cobbling a quick portfolio#but that's not this#also lol next mutation still got fans#my childhood nostalgia says hello#tw eyestrain
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✦ F F X I V L E V E L 9 0
—compendium
#ffxiv#ff14#final fantasy 14#gpose#gposers#ffxiv gpose#lvl 90 compendium#myreia screenshots#aureia malathar#oc tag#maybe a bit weird to share these now since 90's no longer the lvl cap#i took these right before DT dropped and didn't have time to organize them until the end of july when i queued everything#spent one day of complete chaos right before maintenance making 20+ gposes do not recommend hahaha#i'm not happy with the sge and dnc ones but oh well#and i think i'll need to merge fsh back onto the btn glam plate since dnc really needs a separate glam from brd and mch for the vibes#not sure how many of these will stick around when i resub but i didn't get to play much with most of these glams so we'll see! :3#i had so much fun levelling everything i love bouncing between jobs#i have jobs i lean more towards but everything is honestly great#can't wait to see how they play in DT!#i think my faves from this set are drk - gnb - sam - ast - mch - blm - smn - btn#really happy with how they came out!#some placeholder weapons in here#need to finish pld's hw relics and nin's shb relic for the right look#i also want dnc and rdm's shb relics#anyway thanks for letting me spam these this month!#the series is done now
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I drew a new profile pic for my main blog!
It's kinda a mix of all my fursonas + my kinsona (the husky that's a blend of a fursona and kinsona nowadays)! Like, I took the fluffy tail from Ice, the horns from BJ (ish), the eyebrows and eye shape from Vio, the clothing style from a mix of BJ and Ice, and the general husky-ness from my kinsona! And I really like how it turned out! <3 Hopefully now folks won't think I'm a bot LOL.
#posting it here cause no one will see it on my art blog but it'll get lost on my main blog#I shall just ignore the weirdness of posting art not on my art blog lol#also a disclaimer: I do not in fact have piercings#I know I draw BJ with them a lot but I don't actually have any (although I'm thinking about it hehe)#ooh!! And btw this is my first fully digital drawing (sketch to finished project) :D#knocked this out in 2 hours!! Didn't keep my promise to go to sleep early but this is an acceptable compromise#alterhuman#nonhuman#therian#dogkin#dog therian#huskykin#husky therian#therian art#fennmeow#my art#I keep wanting to look mysterious and edgy but my color choices keep ruining the vibe u-u
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i'm getting a bit jaded about copa and think i need to take a step back from it but my entire online persona is built around it. oops
#i feel like my tumblr has a very different vibe from my twitter#i come here to bemoan things and sound too dramatic about video games and manga and shit. im sorry lol#but it's hard when you literally develop an entire artistic identity around one niche/flawed video game franchise with a very weird creator#and then you get older and realize oh wait i should do something else with my identity probably#but you struggle to make anything original without it feeling like it's just blatantly copying other media you like!!!!!!!#went to therapy today and talked out some identity crisis shit so i'm probably just thinking too hard about this#i think the other factor is that i'm starting to read/play genuinely good stuff and its making me reevaluate copa a bit#(i have an english degree so this should've happened ages ago but fromsoft and berserk are what pushed me over the edge!)
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reminders of the passage of time moodeboard
#my blog is in his last year of middle school. he'll be off to high school next year (at least I think so..? 13 yrs old is usually 8th grade#at least from my experience. 9th graders are usually 14. 10th are 15. etc. etc. and then you're in 12th grade#and graduate high school usually 17yrs old.) ANYWAY.. wow he is so ancient..#maybe he's still in a preteeny early teen emo phase or something.. I hope he gets some black and white striped armwarmers and black eyeline#r for his birthday. Maybe an MP3 player of course. Though because I don't really like most alternative music and he is my son he's actually#not allowed to listen to metal or pop punk or emo rock whatever stuff. I open the mp3 player and pre-stock it with only#disco and funk and classical music. he can have a little chiptune or techno stuff as a treat (sometimes emo adjacent maybe more#scene. I think a lot of scene kids were into that more.. emo's weird eccentric brother))#Also he starts taking iron pills his 13th birthday because he's probably incredibly anemic just like me#so on and so forth and et cetera (I'm just being silly.. I am not pro-controlling your children down to whatmusic they#listen to or etc.etc. lol)#THOUGH I love that it's in january... january is one of my favorite months if not my favorite. yeeaaay#just such a nice cool month. I like that it's the start of the year mostly and that it's sometimes snowy here. Like where I live nov - dec#isnt really actually snowy?? You always associate those winter Months with snow but I think snow happens later on this coast#so it's more like Jan - March or even april sometimes. Though that may just be climate change lol.. But it's cool that Jan is winter AND#ACTUALLY snowy. plus the Beginning Of Year vibes and energy.. hrm... nice nice.. ANYWAY#AND this is not even my first tumblr blog. I had a different one before it I think..#evviilll to be on one website for so long lol.. Very thankful that most websites I used to use as a 10 year old or whatever#are now defunct. There's something weird about how humans are just creating endless streams of words and pictures and all of this stuff#and it just goes out into the void and stays there long after the person themselves has forgotten it. not even like 'oh no what if i said#something bad!!' but more just the general sense of.. people create so much more ideas than they can actually hold in their heads. nobody#remembers exactly word for word every post they've ever made or etc. It's like parts of yourself that you've externalized and then fade awa#from you but they're still you but they're not so you just have little snapshots of yourself in time floating around entirely unbenknownst#to you. like making clones of yourself and then forgetting you did so but every once in a while going 'shit... there's clones out there..#of me and I don't even have track or awareness of them anymore.. what an odd concept..' etc. not EXACTLY like that ghbj..you know what I me#n.. or maybe you dont.. hrmm... ANYWAY#I am just now slightly recovering from my most recent mysterious illness spell and etc. so I would like to post more again and mAYBE even#do a costume if I'm being ambitious.. but after so many times of being randomly stricken by problems I'm now fearful of ever being too#hopeful lol.. always like 'I would like to go to the grocery store tomorrow! .... MAYBE.. if i CAN.. possibly... NOT getting my hopes up'.#etc. etc. etc. every statement has a caveat and a backup plan and so on and so forth and such is life.. anyway. happy birthday evil tumblr
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watching fandaniel go is wild because he is just [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] [vestibular stims] and yeah man that's a mood
#final fantasy xiv#ffxiv#ffxiv fandaniel#the cutscene where he's dancing and pacing in front of zenos in the armory while they talk genuinely startled me a little#with how accurately the editing and camerawork captured What That Stim Feels Like#i'm less inclined to do Large Amounts of Spinning and Bending; and the way i get my arms involved looks different#but something about the energy to it and the center of gravity and the way he Turns when he steps is just Oh Wow Yeah Same#on one hand; surface-level he's the type of Unhinged Manic Pixie Dream Boy that you'd think would be a bit on the nose for adhd headcanons#(which would be valid anyway to be clear but still)#but like. motherfucker has adhd just look at him#and honestly i like that a lot because 'surface level' is the keyword here. he Has Depth and is adhd about it#i need to find that post about how masking doesn't necessarily mean trying to pass for neurotypical#among other things; it can look like playing super hard into Look at How Megadifferent and Quirky and Weird I Am; and yeah that's him#and tbh he kind of vibes to me as having gotten into Being an Obnoxious Flamboyant Theater Kid#specifically because it's a useful cover for being his brand of ND#'those damn wacky rich gay nobles' as an explanation for your behavior is going to get you a very different niche in society#than 'that weird dude who talks strangely and can't sit still and whose social cues are A Little Off'#'and makes bizarre disruptive distracting movements with his body while he talks'#anyway diversity win etc etc i love him#ableism mention cw#ffxivtag#FF tag
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It's so fucking wild how some dudes can be 100% oblivious to another dude being creepy as fuck to the women around them
#just spent several hours at a bar exchanging unspoken annoyed glances with lady while we both had to fend off weirdness from this dude#who I've had to be around before so I was very pointedly trying not to engage with him beyond surface level neutral statements#but the lady there had not met him before and didn't have her guard up at first#and even when she started to get uncomfortable the dudes we were with did not notice at all#almost punched the motherfucker when he put his hand on me#had to very firmly say 'i really don't like that stop touching me NOW' because i don't need to get in trouble for punching anyone#multiple times had to be a body buffer between him and the much more petite woman#which she thanked me for once we left the bar#but her boyfriend? utterly oblivious and also very tipsy#he noticed none of it and we had to tell him all the creepy bad vibes moments#like damn looks like I'm the better boyfriend here tbh#life of faye
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Completely off topic, but the 🏳️🌈s should just drop it w Wednesday and migrate over to HOD...bc Rhaenicent is where it's at. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
They did this...they did the thiiing 😭😃😃💖💕✨
#off topic#rhaenyra targaryen#alicent hightower#rhaenicent#queen rhaenyra#queen rhaenyra targaryen#the one true queen#olivia cooke#emma d'arcy#lgbtqia#lgbtq#fandoms#i said before i'd probably be writing HOD fic if i wasn't here#but it would be daemonyrya#ooo and weird crap like larys/alicent's feet lol#like i'm ttly getting k.d. lang 1990s vibe w d'arcy
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tbh with tumblr rolling out the new notification system that explicitly tells you if you're mutuals with someone or not I think we should take this time to stop making such a big deal out of "being mutuals" in the first place and reintroduce terms like "friend" and "acquaintance" into our vocabularies
#like idk I literally don't care if I'm mutuals with someone??#how we interact establishes our relationship#following each other is just like an extra thing that is nice but doesn't mean we can't interact and be friends still#there are people on here I consider my friend who I do not follow it's not that deep#I have irl friends who don't follow me just bcs they don't vibe with the way I post#ever since the twitter peeps came back people have been using “mutual” a LOT and it's always kinda rubbed me weird#like all those posts like “me and the mutuals” like just say your friends you and your friends#that's what you mean#I just don't think we should put so much emphasis on being mutuals with someone it's like#can we all just be online friends again#I usually just say “my internet friends”#me not following someone does not mean I don't think of them as a friend or value their presence#and I don't expect everyone who likes me to follow me following is not a given#anyway this has been your “I'm getting old aren't I?” rant for the day
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me, out here realizing people who hate Jude and Cardan are reading books set *checks notes* in the kingdom and courts they rule over and are angry at their inclusion in any story set in Elfhame and are comparing their fans to acotar: the fuck you say?
#i left that fucking fandom the MINUTE y'all started talking shit on those main characters#because you ruined the vibe for everyone#and it is still ruined and toxic as shit#don't bring your fucking annoying ass 'my side character is better' energy over here#we respect the high king and high queen in this house#how dare you#tfota#this fandom is not a sjm fandom so DON'T YOU START YOUR DIVISIVE BULLSHIT OVER HERE#i enjoyed the prisoner's throne BECAUSE we got more perspective through conversation#i'm sorry it didn't live up to whatever weird feral girl bullshit you built in your own head#but don't put down Holly or her characters or whine about how you hope jude and cardan aren't in the next book#they're going to be there (as they should be)#idk and idc if they are center stage or side characters#if you don't like it here's a ragwort pony get your ass outta here
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started reading about the shakespeare authorship thing and the first argument from a literary person to say Willy S couldn't have written them is "he didn't go to university," at which point i went "oh wow i didn't realise THIS was the level of 'evidence' people meant"
#early modern university would NOT teach you any of the things this literary critic(?) seemed to think it would#it was all astrology & logic & geometry & shit and while i am quite unclear on WTF they actually learned it was not How To Write A Play#sounds like he'd be needing what they called a grammar school then? for the literacy and the latin and so on#if a school isn't going to teach your son latin you'd not bother with it as in a sense someone with no latin then isn't rly 'literate'#and Latin & Greek 'classics' were kind of the go-to with education then they were not Weird Obscure Shit like they are now#i'd be surprised and confused were Willy-S a peasant but he's merchant class that's exactly the type to write plays innit?#is there a parallel theory explaining that cardinal wolsey the butcher's son was secretly played by a posh dude too?#i'll let you know if any more convincing arguments get made later on (*doubt*)#ironically i'm getting big “and how did YOU get into this university?” vibes here#anyway my point was this is basic stuff to have researched first before you started on about how a middle-class lad couldn't write fiction#history fandom
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very odd that i even have to say this but. for the record i do not ever condone sending someone anonymous hate on tumblr.com and quite frankly i think doing so makes u a loser + a shitty person. i am a grownup + do not want to be involved in anything as stupid + juvenile as bullying someone via anonymous tumblr messages so if u are for some unfathomable reason using me/my name as an excuse to send hate to someone. please fuck off lol
#i come here to chill + vibe#sometimes 2 rant + rave#i'm not here to get involved in anyone's petty drama#and quite frankly i find it odd that there are people keeping tabs on like. the interactions i + others have on this site#like that is weird behavior just fuck off lmao#txt
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everyone at this horse hospital is married to each other and no one's last name is indicative of that fact
#get more multidisciplinary with your romantic entanglements and i'm only joking a little bit#what if there's an nbc polycule what if i'm only scratching the surface here#maybe that's why the vibes are weird here sometimes#we're all just 3rd wheeling a horsepital polycule we know nothing about
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I regularly find myself typing some absolutely vile nsft stuff on here, and then immediately backpedaling because I know the majority of the people in the fandom I'm in are... not here for that.
It's a struggle.
I'm horny in dubious ways and also would like to not completely alienate this tiny community that I'm already only barely tolerated in?
#disaster thoughts#it's not about shame#I'm not ashamed of my kinks#I just already feel kinda unwelcome sometimes#and I don't want to alienate the few people who like me?#it's like that weird vibe of... I *want* people to see my stuff#I don't want to scream in the hole of a zero follower sideblog#but...#I also don't want to get blocked by everyone I know on here#about kink#(maybe I do need a sideblog)#wanting community#friendships are hard
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hey! can we see your playthrough notes?
You absolutely can! A lot of them have made it into my posts in one way or another, so it probably won't be a lot thoughts people haven't seen before, but I'm happy to share! It's definitely fun to look back on now that I know more about the game. These notes were intended just for me to organize my thoughts so they might not make a lot of sense to other people, or be phrased in the best possible way. Also TW for a self harm mention
I hope it's everything you hoped for lol
#disco elysium#love how my notes go back and forth between first second and third person to talk about Harry#self harm tw#some of the phrasing here is weird#like the way I talked about Kim once kinda made it sound like I liked him *because* he handled racism stoically and that's not true at all#in my first playthrough I immediately pushed over the pale emitter instead of talking to Ruby so you can see me being shocked by some fairl#basic plot points in the second playthrough lol#I'm not going to fix the spelling mistakes it adds to the vibe#i also started but didn't complete the communism quest in my first playthrough#the tribunal really caught me by surprise ok!!#I also wanted to wait until after my third playthrough to look at fandom stuff to avoid spoilers but then I didn't#and I still haven't finished my third playthrough!!#it gets mentioned in the notes but sometimes when I hyperfixate on something hard enough I get afraid to engage with it because I don't wan#to 'ruin' it#I'll finish my third playthrough eventually
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The array I've got here is so fucking wild, I swear to the gods. I get whiplash going from some muses who will smite you if you even look at them wrong -- and then there's other muses that fuck all the goddamn time with varying levels of needing to be invested in someone before they get nasty
And sometimes I have to fill out little sticker charts for when they go thirty minutes without having sex with their partner. 😐
#sorry for being weird last night. it's just because there's a bunch of shit wrong with my brain // mobile.#Muses I thought were v ambivalent towards sex originally: Amis#Muses that are the actual worst example of this bc they fuck like rabbits: Amis#Man's hornier than my cute little 'was originally a succubus' devil#APPARENTLY it's just a matter of him vibing with the right freak#Adopted children be warned: you can NEVER read ANY of the letters he sends to Ashen when they're apart#They might have their sweet moments but I PROMISE you you will regret having eyes when you get to the raunchy bits#Bc those always exist#Legitimately the funniest shit ever to me#Also ironically I think Asmo is my most ace muse#( I would say Methil but I'm not sure how much is cultural repulsion and how much is personal repulsion )#It's ironic bc he's v sex positive and is probably considered the embodiment of lust in some spheres#( pulling from the demon he takes his name from )#But also don't you DARE level any of that nonsense at him#...... Which is an exaggeration actually but??#You cannot fuck him#That's the main takeaway here
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