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iateyourparents · 6 months

Note

can you do one like the medium but for sam? 🙊

medium | s.g.

pairing: sam golbach x fem!medium!reader

summary: you’re a guest in sam and colby’s video.

warnings: place they are exploring is made up by me, mentions of death, physical hurt, use of y/n, bad writing and grammar(i’m sorry but english isn’t my first language), wasn’t proofread

an: thank you! i wrote it kinda differently than colby’s one but i hope you like it <33 here’s colby’s version of medium.

pictures are from pinterest:)

“What’s up guys! It’s Sam and Colby!” Colby started the video.

You stood next to them waiting for them to announce your presence.

“Today we are exploring haunted hospital. But it’s not just a hospital.” Sam said “It has graveyard in the backyard. People laying there were murdered by doctors and nurses here and then they were buried behind the hospital by cleaners to get rid of the bodies.”

“Exactly.” Colby nodded „We will tell you more about the history of this place in a moment but now let’s welcome on our channel ours today’s guest! Y/n, Sam’s girlfriend, will be exploring with us!”

You smiled and waved at the camera while Sam cointinued Colby’s introduction of your person “Most of you probably don’t know but my love is a medium. So we’re positive it will give us more perspectives on this place. Baby, how do you feel about this experience?”

You were about to answer when Colby interrupted with a cheeky smirk “Good, thanks babe.”

You only laughed while Sam shook his head with a smile and again looked at you.

“I feel excited, that’s my first time in so haunted place.” you laughed “I already can tell there’s so much bad and sad vibes in this place.”

“Great, then let’s start.” Colby clapped his hands.

You all walked into the hospital where waiting for you was yours tourguide. He quicky gave you a tour and said some things about this place to the camera and the left you alone.

„Okay, so like Mike said, the graveyard is called the most active place on the hospital’s grounds. So why won’t we start there?” Sam offered.

You went to the exit into the backyard and just as you walked through the doorframe you could feel shivers running down your spine. You felt overwhelming sadness and brutality. You literally could feel emotions of spirits here but as fast as it came it was gone.

“When I walked through the doors I felt shivers all over me and I felt like I was one of those spirits. I felt their emotions. But it was quickly gone.” you said to the camera.

“You just can feel this…sadness.” Colby added “I don’t know if it’s only me but I feel like I’m being watched.”

You and Sam agreed with his words and you explained to the viewers “I’m honestly not surprised we feel like it because we are being watched. I feel so many spirits here. I can see only couple of them but I’m sure that those I can’t see are also looking at us. But honestly I don’t feel…threatened? Like, I was expecting to feel not okay, to them not being okay with us because of how they ended up here but it’s actually opposite. They are curious but don’t feel need to harass us or something.”

“That’s actually a big relief because this place is known for people getting attacked in many ways.” Sam said. „Baby, could you describe who you see?”

“Sure.” you shrugged and looked around “Most spirits I see are pretty young. But I can see some olders ones too. They all are just standing or sitting around, I think they may be in places where their bodies are.”

“That’s so sad.” Sam pouted “Imagine dying here and getting buried here without your family knowing so they couldn’t even visit you and when it all was discovered it was too late to find everybody’s relatives.”

“We should probably start investigation.” Colby stated after a moment of silence. “We will start here with the spirit box but we were thinking about doing an estes method here outside later.”

You took a rempod from Sam and placed it on the stone that was gravered with story of this grounds as a memory of all these victims of bad care system and cruel people working here.

It wasn’t long later when rem pod started going off.

“Alright, whoever touched that, thank you.” Colby said „We want you all to know we come here in peace and just to get to know more about you and what happened here. We don’t want to disrespect or harass you. We promise we won’t do anything you don’t want us to but we’re hoping some of you will communicate with us.” rem pod went off again. “Thank you.”

“I can feel that most of them actually came here after your speech.” you stated and boys smiled.

„If you want to say anything to us, just say it to this thing and it will say it to us.” Sam explained turning on the spirit box.

Not a second later box said “dead” and “doctors”.

„Doctors killed you? Unfortunately we know, that’s awful what happened.” Sam tried to hold the conversation.

Box answered “body” and “here”.

„Your bodies are here?” Colby asked and spirit box confirmed.

You were asking more questions when suddenly you could feel emotions around you changing.

„Guys, for some reason some of them are starting to get angry. I think it might be because we are reminding them of everything.” you frowned when some ghost confirmed your words using the spirit box “We are sorry for reminding you…” you couldn’t continue because you felt like something scratched your face and you hissed placing your hand on burning place.

Sam immediately frowned in worry and stood next you carefully taking your hand away from your face just to gasp.

“Holy shit, something scratched you.” Colby pointed camera at your cheek where were two red lines.

“I think they don’t want us here anymore.” Sam said and you could hear worry in his voice so you squeezed his hand to let him know you’re alright.

“Yeah, let’s go inside.” Colby offered.

You went to take rem pod off the stone when it suddenly was swept off of it and landed on the grass.

“Holy fuck, did you recorded that?” Sam asked shocked picking up the rem pod.

“Yeah, camera was pointing there so I think it was captured.” Colby said and pointed camera at himself “Holy shit guys, it’s so sick.”

You took all your things and went inside where you decided to start investigation in the waiting room.

And again you didn’t have to wait long for some signs. Just as you were about to place your equipment you all heard a serie of knocks and then footsteps.

“I hope you guys can hear it too.” Sam whispered to the camera “It’s coming from this way.” he pointed at one of the examination rooms

“We are currently in the children ward but I don’t feel any children here.” you frowned “There’s only adults. Were the wards changed?”

“No.” Colby shook his head “There’s nothing about this anywhere. It was children ward to the end.”

“That’s weird.” you sighed and a moment later you could hear a scratching noise, like a chair against the floor.

“Shit.” Sam said with camera facing old chairs next to one of the walls. What attracted his attention was fact that the chairs weren’t in places they were a minute ago.

Next moment later your attention was turned to hissing Sam who hold his side with one hand.

Colby quickly took camera from the blonde while you lifted your boyfriend’s hoodie just to see a red handprint.

“Oh my god.” you gasped and Colby zoomed camera to give viewers a better look on the red spot “It literally looks like someone slapped you. Did it felt like it?”

“No.” Sam shook his head squeezing your hand in his “I felt like something was touching my side and then it suddenly felt hot.”

Before anyone could say anything more, Colby hissed and you could see handprint starting to show on his collarbone.

“It felt just like you described it.” Colby frowned “Is there something?”

“Yeah, it looks the same as Sam’s handprint.” you stated taking camera from him to show both boys and the red spots.

Then there was a loud noise coming from the same examination room as earlier.

You went there, boys following you and when you were in the room there wasn’t anything special but then the doors closed themselves loudly behind you.

“What the hell?” you pointed camera at the closed door and Sam went to open them. They, thankfully, opened and you quickly got out.

“Okay, something is wrong.” you stated giving camera to Colby. Sam looked worried and stood next to you. “I can’t explain this but I just know that something is so not right.”

“Our equipment.” Sam pointed out suddenly. Their equipment was scattered carelessly around the floor. It wasn’t like that when you went to that room.

“It’s dead.” you said picking up the spirit box that wasn’t flashing a red light anymore. “Or broken.”

“Shit, it must drained energy from it.” Colby said.

Suddenly you felt like something pulled your hand and you thought it was Sam but when you looked behind you, Sam was good few inches away from you.

“What the hell, something just grabbed and pulled my hand.” you frowned and Sam grabbed your hand giving it a squeeze.

Then something pulled Sam’s hair and you all could feel temperature in room changing. It was freezing.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked massaging his scalp.

“Someone is angry and feel need to be violent. I think it might be a doctor because it has, like authority aura around itself.” you explained.

“There was this one doctor that died here.” Sam told you “He died because of hypothermia in the winter.”

“It would explain the temperature changing.” Colby deduced.

You heard big thud from examination room.

“It wants us there.” Sam offered and started walking that way but you stopped him grabbing his hand and shaking your head.

“We shouldn’t go there, it’s luring us there with bad intentions in mind.” you said and boys looked impressed.

“It has a lot of energy if it’s the same one who was doing sounds during our tour.” said your boyfriend.

Again, big thud, this time closer to you.

“We should get out boys.” you stated “Something bad is about to happen. And it won’t end well for any of us.”

Sam and Colby knew your intuition was almost never failing so they just started packing and Colby said to their viewers “Remember that your health is the most important while things like this and that’s why we don’t wanna risk now, especially with y/n with us.”

“You cannot follow us home or hurt us.” Sam said sternly.

You quickly got out of the hospital and you could hear constant thuds, knocking and footsteps behind you that ended just when you were safely out of the building.

“It’s mad we got away.” you informed boys. They gulped and quickly said few words to the camera as an outro and you all got into the car and drove away from the hospital.

“I think we should go back there after some time. And take more people. And do that estes method in the backyard.” Sam said holding your hand between seats.

“Yeah, that’s good idea. We should take Nate and Seth.” Colby offered.

Not longer later you were in your and Sam’s hotel room sitting on his lap.

“Your cheek is more red than before.” he pouted kissing delicately the scratches.

“It will go away in few days.” you assured.

“It might scar.” he frowned.

“It’s okay.” you knew he felt bad for taking you there “Don’t feel bad, it’s not your fault and I wanted to go there.” you reminded and he just sighed and kissed you.

“I’m glad it only ended with scratches and not something worse.” he started peppering your face with small kisses and you smiled.

“Me too.”

This time you started a kiss.

#sam golbach x reader #sam golbach #samuel golbach #colby brock #sam and colby #snc #katrina stuart #sam #colby #jake webber #medium

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 4 years

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Hey, so with all this madness going on in the world (this year is honestly shit), I’ve been taking a mental break and trying to write some fan fiction and I recently got back into Black Panther. Since you’re one of my favorite authors on here, I was wondering if you can share some tips on writing for Erik Killmonger. I hope I’m not asking too much. Thank you so much and stay awesome sis 💜✊🏾

Hey!!! Welcome back! And thanks so much for enjoying my work!!

I know things are tough right now for all of us, I’m trying to stay strong and I hope you are too!

Okay so for me when I first started to write Erik I basically looked him up on google to get a thorough look into his traits, skills, background, all of that. If you are looking for traits Erik can be prideful, a blood thirsty nature, violent methods, he wants change, escpecially for his people (black people) so that makes him a heavy activist. He’s cunning/mischievous. Egotistical, deep-rooted hatred, and distrust that makes it hard for him to open up to someone (girlfriend, friends) he has trauma too, paranoia, can be narcissistic depending on how you write him. He’s smart mouthed, sarcastic, can be goofy too if he is comfortable with you. He has a high sex drive. HIGH. I always write my Erik’s extra freaky and nasty because that’s how I see him. I get the impression that Erik is more of a guy you dream about fucking and he’s got that rough edge (nasty talk, pulling hair, choking if you’re into it, he’s into BDSM, he likes to be called Daddy, Sir) does he smoke weed? I think he indulges. Does he drink? Hell yes. He prefers dark liquor in my opinion so I think of Hennessy and Dussé or maybe a good aged whiskey

He’s brilliant; overly smart. I tend to write Erik in AU (Alternative Universe) because he has so much range. Doctor, Engineer of any kind, something mythological, maybe he is a front line worker like a fire fighter, EMT, maybe he an entrepreneur, maybe he’s an artist (painter, photographer, designs clothes, film maker) or you can go with him being an Assassin/ Mercenary. He’s obviously skilled in combat so for me I basically research different combat skills that I think Erik would have, the weapons he would use, all of that.

His style I keep it pretty simple. He isn’t too flashy in my opinion, he wears designer but it’s very casual but again this depends on how you write him. I can see drug dealer Erik being more flashy or mob boss Erik or maybe even Erik as a prince. Does he wear jewelry? I tend to give him a nice watch, a few chains (Cuban link) earrings, I like black diamond studs. Now, as far as his living situations that can vary too. I tend to give Erik luxury apartments/ pent houses/ condos. I don’t really see Erik having a home with land unless he is settled down or unless it’s a big ass mansion or something. He like simplistic but modern furniture, of course his home is wonderfully designed. A chefs kitchen is a must because I always write my Erik’s with a nice kitchen because I like to think he can cook especially since he’s traveled a lot. Erik is a sports car/sports bike type that has a standard luxury car like an Acura, G-Wagon, or a Tesla on the side.

It is important to get his smell lol. I always research colognes for men and I look at the scents in these colognes. Figure out what scent you feel Erik will have (black currant, cinnamon, patchouli, cedar) I always see him having a woodsy scent; strong and masculine. Talk about his grooming. Erik definitely takes care of his skin, his nails, his hair (what butters does he use, what beeswax for retwisting his locs, what oils). Have fun with Erik! You could have him with his scars, maybe he has a facial scar on his cheek like what happened in Wakanda, maybe he has tattoos, maybe he has a nose ring or a tongue ring. His dick...lol I just see Erik being blessed between his legs so that means girthy and long! Lol have fun with that. Anything can go with Erik honestly. Talk about his voice, look up different words to describe voices. Look up different words to describe facial expressions, gestures, physical descriptions.

Lastly, I tend to look at MBJ’s traits too because he did play Erik lol. Mike licks his lips a lot, bites his lips a lot, has dimples, has these puppy dog eyes with long lashes, this raspy voice that I love, full lips, the expressions he makes, all of that sis lol. If you want to write smut, I suggest finding some nasty inspiration on these black porn blogs and read the comments, see what people say, that will definitely help. Find a guy on a porn site that gives you inspiration too with the way they talk or fuck or eat pussy or black porn in general lol. Uhm, talk about how Erik looks at you, what sounds does he make when he’s turned on (growl, grunt, hiss, hum) what does he do that turns you on, hell, what do you like a man to do? Channel that!

Always ask for advice I can definitely be of service. I hope this helped.

#nahimjustfeelingit-writes

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ladyhistorypod · 4 years

Text

Episode 4: Let’s Ms. Behave

Sources:

Charlotte Corday

The British Museum

Brooklyn Museum

Find A Grave

History Channel

UCL Art Museum

Encyclopedia Womannica (Podcast)

The Blonding of Charlotte Corday

Giulia Tofana

Wut. (Podcast)

History Collection

Historical Post

Medium

Mike Dash

Virginia Hill

The Mob Museum

Encyclopedia of Chicago

Alabama

Further reading/watching: The Damned Don’t Cry (1950 film), Bugsy's Baby: The Secret Life of Mob Queen Virginia Hill (eye roll from Alana), Virginia Hill (1974 film)

Click below for a full transcript of the episode!

Lexi: A brief warning about the following episode of Lady History: this episode contains sensitive topics, such as suicide and murder. If you or someone you know needs help, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline. To learn more, visit suicidepreventionhotline.org

Alana: I think my therapist is listening to our podcast.

Haley: Wait what really?

Alana: Yeah. Because I was looking at like our dem– like our listenership and it said a bunch of people in Arlington and I don't know that many people in Arlington. I know like my mom's... my parents’ like family friend from… my dad like went to high school with them and then they introduced my parents and we call her my Arlington mom and so I was like oh maybe it's her but that's too many people to just be her and I think my therapist lives in Arlington and I told her about this so shout out Dr. Sterman.

Haley: I would love–

Alana: If you’re listening.

Haley: –Your next session she's like ‘by the way I don't listen to your podcast’ even though... and just like out herself from… not super listening but also listening we just had…

Alana: I might bring it up. I'm seeing her on Tuesday, virtually obviously, but I’m seeing her on Tuesday.

Haley: ‘Just wondering, do you listen to my podcast?’

Alana: Well I'm going to talk about how like ‘oh I started my podcast and it's doing this this and this for my mental health’ and then be like… just see if she says she’s listening.

Haley: I feel like she wouldn’t though. I feel like she wouldn’t just to…

Alana: I don’t know if she would.

Lexi: Does that cross the like professional boundary?

Haley: Yeah…

Alana: Is that a HIPAA violation?

Lexi: Is it though? It’s only a podcast

Haley: Well none of us are in the medical field.

Lexi: No. We are not.

Alana: Let us know.

Haley: So we can’t have a definitive answer. But I can see someone–

Lexi: Hey if you're in the medical field or are a certified therapist please email us at [email protected] and let us know if listening to your patient’s podcast violates HIPAA.

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: Thank you. You can also email other stuff there. Don't, don't– you don't have to be a doctor to email us.

Alana: No. I also I have a– because you can do asks on Tumblr, and I have our ask page for the Tumblr– Lady History pod dot tumblr dot com– I have… you can suggest a lady.

Lexi: Please, suggest ladies.

Haley: I would love that.

Lexi: Please suggest ladies to us at Lady History pod dot tumblr dot com.

Alana: You can also DM us, and as previously mentioned if you DM the Instagram that's Lexi and if you DM the Twitter that's me and they're both at LadyHistoryPod. We're gonna plug that again at the end so it's just a constant cycle.

Haley: No one can slide into my DMs. I'll just use one of… if you want to slide into my DMs, use like, the Twitter and just be like this is for Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots and they’ll know it’s for me.

Lexi: Okay if you DM or email any of the accounts, if you need the message to go to Haley, please use that name only. Any messages directed to Haley will not be given to her.

Alana: We’ll be like ‘who’s Haley?’

Lexi: So go back–

Haley: I don’t even know what I said. I forgot.

Lexi: No, so go back–

Alana: Sprinklebear McPuss-n-Boots and I will never forget it.

Lexi: Just go back, listen to that however many times you need to to get it in your brain, and then use that when you address Haley in any of your communication to our general inbox.

Alana: Hang on, my light went away because I have to go change Haley’s contact info in my phone.

(Lexi and Alana laughing)

Haley: I really hate if like I am interviewed for a job and they’re like… ‘so… Twinklebear McPuss-n-Boots…

(Lexi laughing)

Alana: It was Sprinklebear

Lexi: You didn’t even get it right. She can’t even–

Alana: Sprinkle… Sprinklebear…

(Lexi laughing)

Haley: I used to have a crush on Puss-n-Boots when Shrek first came out.

[INTRO MUSIC]

Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History, the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I’m the next best thing to being in the same room as Lexi. Lexi, what's the name of your favorite plant?

Lexi: My favorite plant is probably a pothos. Just really cute, a cute plant, a good plant, grows well, grows well in my climate, has not failed me, has not died, so that is why I love the pothos.

Alana: And also in the virtual studio is Haley. Haley, how’s the weather?

Haley: It's quite gloomy. I am in San Francisco so we're still dealing with the wildfires. But I think it's just Karl the fog today.

Alana: Karl the fog?

Haley: Yeah the San Francisco like fog that just like looms over this bay area is called Karl. He even has a Twitter, a whole kids’ picture book. Karl the fog.

Alana: That's giving me An Absolutely Remarkable Thing by Hank Green vibes.

Haley: And also, oh, the SF MOMA… the new building of it is Karl the fog. It doesn't– it looks kind of like a… like an old time steam iron, like on an ironing board. But it's like meant to be Karl the fog. Or like blend in. Karl just mushes his way through San Francisco.

Alana: Oh my god that's incredible.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: And I'm Alana and I theme my canvas tote bags based on event.

Lexi Nice. Solid.

Alana: Thank you.

Haley: So can I tickle your tastebuds with a fun fact?

Lexi: Oh… oh, tickle away.

Alana (whispering): Tickle your tastebuds…

Speaker 1: This is either going to be like the best thing I've ever created because like– let me just give you a side note: I thought of this joke while taking shower and was cracking up for ten minutes.

(Alana laughing)

Haley: It's either– it's probably gonna flop. But, with this fun fact– it’s kind of setting the mood for our crime theme and it's about the guillotine and the family of the guillotine, Dr. Joseph– I think his name’s like Ignace? It looks like Ignatio, but it’s like Ignace Guillotin– was so horrified that like their family member invented such like a horrible thing, and if you don't know what the guillotine is, it is basically a big sharp knife that comes down from a pulley, will slice your head off, used in many executions– that they appeal to the French government to change the name and the French government just took it to a step higher and was like no we won't change the name but we will make it one of like the official ways of executing people. more s– to the point that the last execution was like in the 1970s. And this is like across Europe and at least for France it was in 1977. So this is where it gets to my cringy joke because I've used this before. If you want a sick burn while your parents are talking about their childhood and they grew up in like the 60s, 70s, you can just go ‘Pft, the land and time of the guillotine. Such heathens.’ And I like this more than the… the burn that goes like ‘when the dinosaurs roamed’ because dinos just like didn't live when humans lived and it always made me so mad where it’s like I learned that the dinosaurs were born millions of years ago but we have this like iconic just… execution machine that was used for so so long and no one realizes that this was just used until the 70s as a humane way of execution, which like I won't even get into that whole argument. There's so much of a rabbit hole of whether the like guillotine was humane or not. But it's just– it's almost funnier because like it did happen this was an ironic like ‘oh you’re so old you’re like a dinosaur’ this is like ‘you were born when the guillotine was used!’

Alana: Because that's like a burn but it's also true.

Lexi: Yeah. That's the worst kind of burn, I– I mean the best kind of burn because it hurts the worst.

Haley: I once said it to my dad because he was like talking about something when he was like younger and I was like the guillotine just looked at me and was like ‘excuse me?’ I was like ‘you lived during the time of the guillotine, heathen.’ And he was like ‘well…”

Alana: It's true!

Haley: Because he was like ‘no that's like the Middle Ages’ and I was like ‘let me school you on some facts. And that actually is a great segue into my first gal.

Alana: Alright, let's go Haley.

Haley: Uh, so my gal, like Artemisia, we have another one with her own movie. It's an unfortunate movie because I couldn't find it anywhere, but who am I talking about… Charlotte Corday. And other names include… side note, I don’t speak French, I speak Spanish. Please don’t come after me, with my horrible horrible French pronunciations, I had my boyfriend, who speaks some French, pronounce them to me… probably didn't remember anything that he said to me. Her other names are Corday d’Armont, Marie-Anne Charlotte, and now her like more modern name is Charlotte Corday the Assassin. So I love Charlotte as a topic, because other podcasts, like crime, history, women's studies, have covered her to an extent. Like I– you'll see in the show notes I like I've even used her– thanks, Encyclopedia Womannica. But on the other hand, not many people know about her. And they don't even know like her influence with the French Revolution because I've been in like many discussions about like history of crime or what like– the world history that we had to take, and I asked like about her and my even like my history teachers like ‘I don't know who that is’ and everyone just gave me that blank face and it's like wait a minute, this is weird, why isn't this covered. So of course, I'm going to cover it. And let's crack this case wide open before we do a deep dive and go over just like some historical background and some of the people be talking about because I don't want you guys to be lost in this whole mumbo jumbo. So Charlotte was a Girondin sympathizer– again, my French is not good– she came from a family of impoverished aristocrats from a little town outside of Paris, France. And as a noble family she was given the opportunity to go to a formal education, but really this formal education came because her mother and one of her sisters died. And her father was just so grief-stricken and also just couldn't handle the now need to raise two daughters, so he sent them to a Roman Catholic convent so they could get a formal education. During this formal education of hers, she learned about French politics, history of France, and was able to mold her own theories and just ideas about the world around her. Thus, she became a French moderate Republican party member during 1791 and 1793 and this is during the French Revolution.

Alana: I'm guessing that moderate Republican back then doesn't mean the same thing that moderate Republican means now.

Haley: No, not at all. I'll explain more. So that's– this is exactly why I wanted to do our whole kind of let's see the players let's name some names and let's go over some history because just looking at her based on just the woman it's very hard to understand why she's one, seen as a hero; two, seen as a murderous assassin which both are correct in a way.

Lexi: I mean, goals. No I’m just kidding. I’m not condoning murder.

Haley: No so that's basically where she's at in the scope of where she grew up and what role she’ll play in the French Revolution, or what side she was on. And she's also mainly known for murdering Jordian Jean-Paul Marat, and he was on the other side he was Jordian so she was very opposed to his ideals. So again like Alana said is this kind of like what our U. S. politics is like? No, this isn't the Republican Party. However we have two extreme sides and people on one extreme, people on another extreme. That is very much similar. And he was an outspoken leader of the French Revolution to the point where he was the founder of a popular journal, deputy of Paris to the convention, opposed legislation that would hurt the other side, empower him and to Charlotte and other Girondan followers. So now that we cover the big picture ideas and we know the players and we know how extreme both these sides are, let's do our deep dive. She was committed to fighting the Girondist side of the revolution, posing the radical Jacobin faction. So this was right before the Reign of Terror, and why I mention this is because all her actions were to stop a civil war; and the Reign of Terror was a part of the French Revolution that kind of like started the first French Republic and culminated in a series of massacres and like many many public executions. So this is what she tried to stop from happening in French society. However, her whole story and what role she played in the revolution actually caused the Reign of Terror. So that's why for me as– in high school was like why aren't we talking about her and now we're gonna talk about her now. So, we come to the point where our victim Marat was continuing his train of like bloodshed, and was responsible for utter catastrophe, and putting a lot of lives in danger of like the French– like the French people were just terrified of him, to an extent. And that’s why Charlotte just hated him. He was seen as definitely one of the leaders of this one extreme side that had to be taken out. So that's exactly what she kind of planned to do. And she was not in Paris, she was still in another city outside of Paris, France. So, Charlotte stabbed him while he was taking a bath; and that's really the punch line of like her whole story. If you do like a quick Google search you'll get a lot of stuff for her and even in some textbooks that I tried to look at it was just like Charlotte Corday assassin… stabbed Marat in the heart. Really, she stabbed him in a planned assassin while he was taking a bath. I'm gonna just go through the accounts of this whole story because they're not really pieced together in one area and I'm going to piece them together now so you can understand why he was like in a bathtub, why she stabbed him, and so on. Because this just sounds so strange and it's really strange to see this as your history. So the planned assassin started because she wanted, like I said, to stop from a civil war happening in France, and she truly believed that to do this you have to kill one of the leaders; and also to an extent make the other side seem strong in that way. Like if you kill one of the leaders, you prove that the other side is just as strong or stronger. So she originally planned to kill him at a Bastille Day parade to make a huge show of it and this was on July 14th 1793. Unfortunately, or fortunately for her plans in a sense the event was just like it either didn't happen or it became apparent that Marat was not going to be at that public event. So she quickly had to say okay what else can I do, how can… what will be the next step to kill him. On July 13th, so the day before this event was supposed to happen, she was able to get a meet and greet with him or just gain access to him by saying and promising to betray her political side and give some insider secrets– like name names, basically become a traitor. And Marat was like cool you're definitely high up in the Girondin side of it, let you like, come into our area, we’ll hold– like we’ll basically keep you hostage, in a sense, like that's the feel I got… like Marat was also like come to our side because if anything happens you'll be on our turf; and she did. She was like cool, great. You don't know I'm gonna kill you, you think I'm gonna come and like give you all my secrets and then you'll protect me in a way. So Marat was having this meeting in the bathtub, but this was a very normal occurrence for him because he had a terrible skin disease or infection that he would just be in the bath all the time, like the water soothed him. So he was just very vulnerable, but that was his normal state– like nothing was wrong with him taking a meeting in the tub… so like she could be alone with him. It would be more weird if they were just walking around in the streets together. And instead of having this whole conversation that Charlotte said she would, she took this knife out of her bodice that she was just like hiding there and stabbed him in the chest.

Haley: He died almost immediately; and she actually waited for the police to come. She did not run away– she waited and confessed, essentially. She was proud of what she did, she wanted this assassination like the public assassin– assassination to still have some sort of effect on the public to show that her side did it to the other side, she is responsible for ma–Marat, and she did it as this political leader, in a sense. So at the trial, she allegedly proclaimed ‘I killed one man to save a hundred thousand’ and she kept reiterating that this was in fact a planned assassination, this wasn't out of passion. She took some thought, even wrote down like accounts and like had this whole… I saw like some people called it a journal or like statement– different written statements basically on her thoughts of an upcoming civil war and what she thought she was doing to help prevent that. She was also able, before the trial she was able to write down like write a letter and write her thoughts, feelings, concerns to her father. So her father was still alive and was able to get this kinda like last testimony of hers. And of course during this trial because she did essentially plead guilty… she was ordered to be executed via guillotine just four days after the murder; so July 17th 1793. And another quote from a lawyer from all this whole trial came from I think this was a man named Vergniaud, but I couldn't find this quote as in from like a reputable source as yes this was him, so could have been just another lawyer and not this guy. However, someone as a witness to this whole trial on this whole ordeal said ‘She is leading us to our death, but she is showing us how to die’ and it was because he, as a lawyer, saw this whole thing, saw her whole plan, and knew okay this is going to become a massive shit show. Like this won't end well. She is not preventing a civil war; she actually just started a whole other battle. However, she is showing us how to die with dignity, and showing how to like own up to the actions and just just die. Essentially die because a lot of people through the Reign of Terror did die. So you thought I'd be done– and I know this is gonna be my longest but this is such a great great story– because now we get into her overall death legacy, and we do know a lot of things, unlike Amelia Earhart where we just don't know what happened to her after death. A lot of this we still have artifacts and evidence of. She overall became this French savior, like the savior of French society in her circle. Months after her death, there are just so many portraits of her in different scenarios; short hair, long hair– like I needed to go back and make sure these were the same Charlotte Corday and if there could have been multiple Charlotte's just to make sure that these images looked so vastly different. And it was because people wanted to show that she was just this holy woman and ladies now weren't the ones who are supposed to be stuck in the kitchen with raising the kids. They had the power to do something in life and in society, but they also had a spin on it, so like– like I said, she was seen as a savior, this holy woman, goddess… like they even used her Christian name so Marie-Anne Charlotte, which she– to my knowledge, and to my research didn't necessarily go by that name. But there are definitely images of that name and her with very fair skin, white, brunette hair, looking very womanly and accentuating her womanly features. So that really pissed off the other side. Like all Marat’s supporters, they were absolutely flabbergasted that she was getting such a reputation. They thought this can't be happening; she just murdered one of our political leaders, and she was executed for it, why is everyone trying to kind of put this holy cap on her. And yes, that worked to an extent, like their outcry, because like yes she did murder someone. But it didn't help enough, and there were women in French society who did try to distance themselves from her and just for ideas of what women should be like. But, Charlotte did such a good job at like the legend of her as a woman, even before she died, that it didn't matter. Like I read an article about whether she had blonde hair or chestnut brown hair from a 2004 academic article; like this is still being discussed. And she had a part of her reputation– like she knew that whether it started a civil war or not she needed to form her own reputation. And there's even accounts that she witnessed the paintings and drawings of her that would be published and printed post-execution, and she gave comments. She was like no no no no, make me look more like a schoolgirl; or like make me more with curly hair. I don't really know the specifics but it was documented that she would give kind of suggestions on how she would look like. So while she did it, she tried so hard to like make herself look like this holy woman, and yes it did work. Marat, when he died, one of his very close friends, Jacques-Louis David painted the classic portrait or classic image, not portrait The Death of Marat, which is capturing the scene of his death and that is still considered like a classic image and the classic picture from– especially from the French Revolution. So I don't– I don't want to go as far as saying either Charlotte's portrayed as this holy one or this heinous, murderous, like scoundrel because both of them have lasted to this point in history that no one can make up their mind whether this was like a good thing that happened or a bad thing that happened. And I don’t even– I don’t even want to put out like in the universe whether we should have the discussion; if we should say like yes or no. I just wanna give you the facts and let you kind of like decide but that is Charlotte Corday.

Lexi: She is very interesting.

Alana: Yeah that's real cool. That's fun. That was a good transition for… from the guillotine to…

Lexi: Yes, good choice.

Alana: Charlotte Corday. I’m glad we let you go first.

Lexi: Alana hit us. Hit us with it. Don't hit us please don't hit me.

Alana: I won’t hit you. Okay so I will be talking about Giulia Tofana. Um.. Ooooh Haley's face, I'm so excited. I feel like– I hope I do this justice. Oh no. She is Giulia but it’s spelled G-I-U because she's Italian. Okay. So. I like to give credit as we've seen in the past like where I have first found out about my stories. And so I first found out about Ms. Tofana– I should I should call her Giulia not Ms. Tofana because there’s another Tofana, her mother’s name is also Tofana. I heard about this for the first time on Wut. W-U-T which is another great edutainment podcast by women. I'm gonna promo them without needing a sponsorship or a collab because women supporting women. So if you like us, go check them out. That was fun. They're not specifically women's history they're just kind of fun facts in general so not as niche as us but still pretty cool. And then I heard about that podcast from my friend Jesse on Twitter… I think we're friends I don't know I think we're friends… so shout out to Jesse. So Giulia Tofana, G-I-U because she's Italian, lived in the seventeenth century. Exact dates are kind of weird because she was a woman and not highborn. Best guess she was born in Palermo in Sicily. Her mother was executed for poisoning her father, possibly because he was abusive. This is a thing– like a running theme that we’ll see it later. Also later, Giulia's husband died mysteriously, probably also poisoned, probably also abusive. So she moved to Rome at some point in the 1630s-ish, probably, as a widow with her daughter to sell cosmetics and be apothecaries and poison people. Dun dun dun…

Alana: So women in the seventeenth century have so many options. They can be sex workers, they can be essentially auctioned off to almost always abuse of older men and then later if their husbands died become respected widows. Those are your options. So many! So many options! What– how are you going to pick, so many things.

Lexi: The amount of choices is staggering.

Alana: Paralyzed by choice, really. My sources call these women ‘aspiring windows’ as if they are gold diggers and not battered women with no escape. I love– I love that like my running theme is criticizing my sources. That's my thing. Giulia crafted essentially her own poison. Created her own poison, or what by all accounts… she was the one who came up with this. Between like her and her mother and her daughter they came up with this poison called aqua tofana, named after her. It's a combination of arsenic and belladonna and lead, which are things that are already in cosmetics at the time but not quite lethal, still have problems, but not lethal unless they're ingested. And so having these things on a vanity looks totally normal. And so Giulia, as someone who experienced abuse, who had watched her mother get executed for defending herself, essentially… I am not condoning murder, and I know it's never good to say something at the beginning of a sentence like ‘I'm not condoning murder’ and then doing ‘but’... I feel like… there are no options.

Lexi: Self defense.

Alana: Self defense.

Lexi: And it seems very clear– again, we don't know the whole situation but it seems very clear that she was in a bad situation.

Alana: A bad situation. Yeah

Lexi: We are not the judge, jury, or the executioner so we can't say.

Alana: So she, having probably been abused and having watched her mother probably been abused and watched her mother get executed for essentially defending herself… she's going to help these other women get out of their marriages in such a way that it can't be traced. Because this poisoning with this mixture of belladonna and arsenic and lead, it takes really long for someone to die. Really long is like two to three days, but it also looks like natural causes or another illness which always happened in the 1600s. People got sick and died and that was just normal. And it gave these men time to get their affairs in order and to confess their sins and in a very Catholic area at a very Catholic time you like automatically got into heaven as long as you confessed your sins. So since these people had time to confess their sins, our murderess wouldn't have to feel so guilty that she was condemning her husband to hell even though he was probably hurting her. It only takes four to six drops to kill someone, depending on their size and all of that other stuff. And another side fact, side fun fact: Mozart, who nobody knows how Mozart died, Mozart wholeheartedly believed that he was poisoned with aqua tofana, but nobody knows. I feel so good that Haley is just nodding fervently. I feel like I'm doing a good job. Thank you for that.

Haley: I've awkwardly read so much on arsenic poisoning. Just so much so, but yes you are correct. There are probably just so many people who died of arsenic poison in the 1600s because autopsies weren’t like what we have today where you can do a toxicology, so so many people would seem like they were getting ill, because a lot of the times it just looks like a common cold or flu-like symptoms, they just weren't feeling good. But then they would die so now people do toxicology because it's a thirty year old man with no pre-existing conditions. But when you're talking about it in the 1600s it's like ‘oh they got sick we don't have modern medicine to help out.’

Alana: Nobody knows what's happening, essentially. It's like ‘oh no another person got sick.’ So Giulia Tofana sold this with her daughter and some employees at this family business, essentially, which is a weird way to think about it– that the family business is murder. They operated like this for about fifty years, for decades. And… at least the estimated number is something like six hundred plus people died because she sold their wives poison. But she got caught, and legend has it– and there are so many foggy details but this seems way too specific so I think like somebody exaggerated but, one of her clients who had bought the aqua tofana to poison her husband had poisoned a bowl of soup but decided, ‘no, I can’t. I can’t kill someone’ and dramatically knocked it out of his hand. And that's where I am thinking this… somebody exaggerated. Somebody made this up because that's way too specific. But she stopped her husband from eating the soup and confessed her crimes and turned in Giulia Tofana and her daughter and their three employees at the business. And all of them were executed. Under torture, of course, it's the seventeenth century, she turned on a bunch of her clients as well. So a bunch of her clients were also executed. Some of them were not executed, because they claimed that they didn't know that it was poison and it was just ‘oh no, I spilled some of my lotion in my husband’s soup… Oops. Oopsie poopsies I’m only like fourteen I don't know any better.’ I made myself laugh with that one I’m sorry. But those people were spared. So there is something to… was Giulia a hero, was she a murderess, could both of those things be true…

Lexi: Was she an anti-hero?

Alana: She's kind of an anti-hero. I think that's what we’re going for.

Haley: I like that, I like anti-hero.

Alana: I think– I also think like–

Lexi: Like a Robin Hood, but murder.

Alana: Batman, but murder. Does Batman kill people?

Lexi: Robin Hood stole things, he didn't kill anyone. This is like the Robin Hood of murdering people.

Alana: Sure.

Lexi: It's like murder the rich, give to the wife?

Alana: Vigilante!

Lexi: I don't know. Vigilante murder, yeah.

Haley: So far we’re on the track of like ‘our criminals are good, question mark?’

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: Mine was definitely a criminal, but we'll get in that.

Alana: Well, I am done. So, Lexi let’s get into that.

Lexi: What a segue! Okay. So my lady, though definitely also had a lot of background trauma as it seems that a lot of these ladies had definitely did crime. So we'll just jump in. Have you guys ever heard of the queen of the mob?

Haley: Yes. I'm so excited that you're doing this one.

Alana: Maybe. You'll have to tell me her name.

Lexi: Okay.

Haley: This is truly like my favorite episodes so far, and I like hate when people like get really into criminals like some people, like for Jeffrey Dahmer, people love him, think he's like the most beautiful man, same with Ted Bundy, and that's not where my head is at.

Lexi: That’s creepy.

Haley: I have a true fascination with the history of crime, death, medicine, and how our society perceives it now. When I say I love these people or I love these stories that is not where I'm going.

Lexi: You're not doing the whole crime fandom crush thing.

Haley: No.

Alana: I have seen people get like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer's signatures tattooed on themselves.

Lexi: That’s creepy.

Haley: Yeah

Lexi: And I don't condone that.

Alana: No we don't like that.

Lexi: But you can be interested in crime especially because as someone who has taken courses in the forensic realm… and who likes bones, and likes that kind of thing, I think you can be interested in the human phenomenon.

Alana: As academics.

Haley: That’s where we’re at for me.

Alana: Not as fanatics.

Lexi: Yes, yes.

Haley: I was listening to like you guys speak and kind of like going back in my head like oh, I seem like such a psycho when I’m like ‘I love Charlotte’ like she is just a fascinating human.

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: Well now we’ve clarified which is good.

Haley: She assassinated someone. And assassinations aren’t swell.

Lexi: But like when you think about like what is interesting on TV, or like what is interesting in our fiction, it's because humans have a general interest. So–

Haley: I wanna write a whole paper on that. Just truly that whole concept.

Lexi: So the queen of the mob, Virginia Hill. You can learn about her at the Mob Museum, people are really really fascinated with her and her story is really interesting. And she was born on August 26, 1916 in a place called Lipscomb, Alabama. I might have said that wrong, you know general– general reminder I say things wrong sometimes. She was born on her father's horse farm. Her father was abusive and he actually beat her and her siblings when they were children and one day she got really fed up with him attacking her and her little siblings so she hit him with a hot skillet in self defense. At the age of fourteen, Virginia married a man named George and three years later the couple moved to Chicago. When they got there she dumped him because you realize the world is a lot bigger than her hometown in Alabama, and so seventeen year old Virginia wanted to start her life anew. At the time, the 1933 Chicago Century of Progress Exposition, which is a World's Fair style event, and it was conceived to bring hope in the wake of the Great Depression that was happening. So Virginia took a job dancing, like as a shimmy dancer, so she had a really unique–

Alana: What– what does shimmy dancer mean? Like a go-go dancer? Like a str– like what?

Lexi: I think you dance shimmy like you shake back and forth and you wear tassels, I believe.

Alana: Dream job.

Lexi: But someone feel free to correct me.

Haley: Yeah, I was thinking one of those 1920s cigarette girls.

Lexi: Yeah that could probably be it because this is a similar era.

Haley: Like they would have like the thing that went over them holding a plate platter like tray that they would just like walk around, dance around, and you can buy stuff from them.

Lexi: Yeah. It could possibly be akin to that. When the fair ended, Virginia became a waitress at one of Al Capone's old haunts the San Carlo Italian Village, which is a restaurant not a town. I had to Google that. Though Capone was at that time in prison, he went to prison in 1931, the community of criminals that he had built was still thriving, and it was– it was in this role as a waitress serving tables of America’s mobsters that Virginia met the man who would change her life. His name was Joe Epstein. He was an accountant and bookkeeper for Capone's crime family, and he took a liking to Virginia’s style, and that doesn't mean like her physical attractiveness… she had a certain style of a way that she talked to the mobsters, and she seemed to really have like a no-nonsense kind of ability to deal with the mobsters, which is really unique in a girl so young. So he felt he could trust her, and he took her on as a money launderer for his racketeering. She laundered the money by placing large bets on horses in Chicago's racetracks. She later moved into betting scams which is basically when she learned how from Joe to collect bets on fixed boxing matches. So the matches will be predetermined, but she would encourage people to bet the losing side. Virginia didn't just launder money. Joe taught her how to dress and act like a rich woman, and used her to cross state lines with stolen furs, jewels, and other items, because of course no one would suspect a nice, rich lady of stealing things and crossing state lines with them. The craziest part is that this all happened before Virginia even turned twenty. So by the age of twenty she was wearing really wealthy clothes, working really wealthy circles, and basically was a part of the mob. Over time, Hill became a trusted cash carrier, money launderer, and information gatherer for Joe and the rest of Capone's crew. She had many rich boyfriends and often used these relationships to benefit her mob family. In one instance she dated an oil tycoon named Major Riddle. No, you cannot make up this name, and yes, I wrote in my script to pause for insane laughter but no one is laughing. I think his name is hilarious.

Haley: I think that’s the best name ever.

Alana: We're on meat. We're on mute. Lexi that's why we're not laughing you didn't... they won’t be able to see the face that I made.

Lexi: Yeah. That's true. I forgot. Well anyway she dated this oil tycoon Mr. Riddle and she convinced him to give her money for investments that were like completely fake and she took that money back to her boy Joe. And Hill used her womanly charm, and by that I mean she seduced men. And through these methods she was able to obtain valuable information for her mob bros. Joe encourage Virginia to move out east to build connections between Chicago and New York crime syndicates. In New York, she laundered money and met many more men including a Mexican night club dancer named excuse my pronunciation, if this is wrong, Miguelito Valdez. At some point Virginia marriedValdez to help him maintain his residence in the United States. And then Virginia, at the same time as this marriage, had an on and off affair with Benjamin “Bugsy” Siegel who is a really famous leader in organized crime.The pair is well known to have real chemistry so this wasn't just considered to be a case of her seducing someone. They think that she genuinely liked him And unfortunately at the time Bugsy was married to another woman. In 1940, he was sent to jail on a murder charge. While Bugsy was in jail, Virginia tricked Valdez into signing divorce papers. And it was all very “90 day fiance” of her if you ask me. It is unclear if it was through her marriage or not but at some point Virginia had become very fluent in Spanish. She used her newfound language skills to begin trafficking drugs particularly heroin from Mexico to Chicago. In the 1940s, she attempted to start a career acting in Hollywood while transferring cash from New York to Chicago to LA. Meanwhile, Bugsy was setting up his new crime life in Las Vegas which he believed was the new up and coming resort destination for Americans and in hindsight he was probably right. He wanted Virginia to join him and she did but mainly only to spy on his activities and report back to her other mob leaders like Joe. Unfortunately, Bugsy’s biggest dreams were dashed when his resort project the “Flamingo” failed. He had drowned too much money into elabore improvements to the resort and lost cash when lucky winners struck it big in his casino. In a desperate attempt to save the business, he closed the casino and reopened the Flamingo as a hotel only, which sadly was unsuccessful, because we all know how Vegas went. Hill received orders to leave Las Vegas, so she did. 12 days later, someone shot Bugsy dead in their home. In 1950, Virginia went to a ski resort in Idaho, which I didn’t know you could ski in Idaho, but apparently you can. And she fell in love with an instructor named Hans Hauser. Again, very “90 Day Fiance” of her. Though she was still laundering money and Hauser was not a criminal, he still wanted to marry her. The couple eloped and had a son named Peter. Later that year, Virginia was subpoenaed to appear in a trial on organized crime which would be shown on National TV. She arrived like a star, dressed from head to toe in expensive clothing and jewelry. As a witness, she served her crime family well, evading details and giving vague, basic answers to in depth questions. She used creative lies to explain away all the cash she had laundered, explaining how she had bet money on horses to win her initial cash. She also insisted that most of her wealth came from gifts of suitors, or as we would probably call them today her sugar daddies. Now quick side note- this kinda gives me vibes of the musical Chicago and that song about the main character’s testimony, where she basically used her charm and virtue as a woman to get out of murder. “Well I can’t help it sir, I am just so beautiful men flock to me and give me free things.” On the stand, Virinigia denied that her male friends and lovers were racketeers. When the investigators caught her in her lies, she simply denied knowledge of the nature of their work. “But I never knew anything about their business” she would say. She denied her ability to have any financial knowledge, you know, because she was a lady, and ladies don’t do money things.

Alana: Ladies don’t money.

Lexi: Ladies never money.

Alana: Women be shopping but women don’t be money.

Haley: I love the comparison, like this whole story cuz this is so much like Charlotte. Both of these ladies are trying to be like, “Oh women do this, this is how women look, look how beautiful we are.

Lexi: That’s the vibe. That’s the vibe she was going for. The investigators were still suspicious, it did not work. Because, you know, it was about to be the sixties I mean it was the fifties but was about to be the sixties and so women were going to be liberated. As Virginia left the trial, she cursed out the press and she punched a reporter in the face. Then as she got her car she told reporters she hoped an atomic bomb would be dropped on them, which I think is a timely thing to say. This was right after World War II. That- That’s a big insult. That’s really mean. Virginia and Hans then realized that they needed to leave America so they moved to Europe. The IRS was still on Virginia's tail and she knew she could not return to the States ever again. She met up with her old boyfriends and colleagues while they were in Europe and it was clear she still received money from her life's consistent characters like Joe. In the nineteen sixties Virginia and her family settled in Austria and her mental health rapidly declined.

Viriginia had suffered with her mental health through most of her adult life, getting hooked on sleeping pills and almost dying from a sleeping pill overdose on at least one occasion. Her life was turbulent, her trauma was intense, and she survived at least three separate suicide attempts. On cold, winter’s day, March 24th, 1966, in Austria, Virginia took her own life. Pedestrians taking a walk along the water found her body, laying in the snow, along with a note stating the reason for her death, “I am tired of life”. Her husband Hans also took his own life, passing in 1974. Their son Peter, who would go on to become an American soldier and veterean of the Vietnam War, died in a car accident 20 years later. The family is buried together, in Salzburg, Austria. To this day, some crime enthusiasts believe Virginia may have been murdered, force fed pills as a method to hide a murder as suicide of someone with a history of mental illness. Though her apparent struggles with her mental health throughout her life really suggest this theory is unlikely. I think Virginia can teach us a lot, for starters I think the importance of mental health help is something her legacy can teach us. Virginia had a horrible childhood and instead of getting help she needed, she was married off and eventually she was convinced to do crime. She spent a lot of her life struggling, and it's possible some for mental health issues stem from that early trauma. I think Virginia can teach us a lot, for starters I think the importance of mental health help is something her legacy can teach us. Virginia had a horrible childhood, and instead of getting the help she needed, she was married off. She spent a lot of her life struggling, and it is possible some of her mental health issues stemmed from that early trauma. I think Virginia also teaches us that it took more than men to make the Mobs of early and mid century America function. Virginia was often called the mistress of the mob, but that’s not fair- she wasn’t a mistress of the mob, she was a member of the mob. Women, both those whose stories are recorded and those whose stories were forgotten, played central roles in organized crime. So maybe next time you think about famous figures like Al Capone, think of the women like Virginia Hill who supported the crimes too. And that’s why we cover the good, the bad, and the ugly of women’s history, because there are so many stories that go untold.

Alana: That was so beautiful.

Haley: That was mind blowing.

Lexi: Thank you! I am gonna leave in you guys calling it beautiful too!

Alana: That was incredible.

Lexi: I really thought about that really hard.

Alana: Holy shit!

Haley: I truly love that like all our stories had a moral like that the ending for Alana was also just like you have to face that you're a killer that's a no no and like Lexi here with mental health and then me being like it's not all black and white you’re both bad people!

Alana: Nuance and context is like my mantra these days.

Lexi: That’s academics.

Haley: Yes.

Alana: Nuance and context as academics.

Lexi As people who studied at a university. Oh my.

Alana: I have a bachelor's degree.

Lexi: Mhmm. Is this podcast just proof to your parents that you got a bachelor's degree?

Alana: No, they paid for it.

Lexi: They know.

Alana: They know.

Lexi: They suffered.

(Alana laughing)

Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of this episode will be on lady history pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review or tell your friends, and if you don’t like the show, keep it to yourself.

Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, Garageband, and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time on Lady History.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Haley: Next week on Lady History: we're going to be in the kitchen cooking up some great stories about famous women chefs and cooks alike.

Alana: WHERE WE BELONG.

Lexi: In the kitchen.

Alana: /s.

3 notes · View notes

talix18 · 5 years

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November 21

Yesterday Katelyn called to see if I wanted to hang out. Katelyn is the almost 22-year-old who I call my adopted niece but she’s something more than that. I lived with K and her mom from the time K was 18 months old until she was four-and-a-half so I was her de facto other mom. I know it’s just the slightest approximation of what parenting must feel like but I treasure the memory of her being satisfied with coming to me if Mom wasn’t available. Three-year-old K running towards me when I showed up to pick her up from daycare. The memory of the Christmas when all K wanted from Santa was to see her father and her mother and I couldn’t make that happen – talk about powerlessness. Watching her sing at her high school variety show remembering how I’d been too terrified to sing in front of people…

She inherited some things from me – her opinions and eagerness to share them is probably the big one, but she also, somehow, has come to love Def Leppard (I suspect that’s her boyfriend’s influence). You already know how Def Leppard introduced me to my first boyfriend. I can tell you exactly where I was and who I was with when I heard about the car accident that ultimately took Rick Allen’s arm. I remember that someone who worked at a music store called me to tell me Steve Clarke had died. Def Leppard was my third concert (1st: Asia; 2nd: Stray Cats) – I still can’t believe Mom let me go with Allen and some of his friends at 15. Some people have made-up imaginary friends – mine were real people.

I went up to see K at her mom’s place after work (Kate’s mom and her husband of a year and a week are still on their delayed honeymoon in Tennessee) and we talked about all kinds of things. She said something about Def Leppard touring with Motley Crue, which led me to the Crue documentary I just watched on Netflix over the weekend. I was a fan – saw them open for Ozzy once; had a poster on my ceiling for a while – but the milestones in their lives were vague memories. Of course Tommy was married to Heather Locklear and Vince committed vehicular manslaughter, but that was most of what I knew.

The documentary is an unflinching portrait of the toll drugs took on the band – specifically Nikki Sixx – but that’s not the part that really got to me. I know how addiction works. I had to stop the movie to Google what happened to Vince Neil’s daughter after her cancer diagnosis, which paid off as the next scene opened on her dead four-year-old body laying in the hospital bed. So now I’m having feelings about poor Vince losing his daughter after killing his friend how many years after the fact?

On the way home, after playing a Def Leppard song, the DJ mentioned the tour with Crue and I had to call Katelyn. We are definitely going, I assured her, now that I have even more emotions tied up with these people. I am definitely not thinking about the fact that “Crue called their friends in Def Leppard” to arrange the tour because I assume that means the Leps were also hard partiers and I’d rather not consider all the sordid debauchery that follows along. (Poison is also on the bill, and we’re all down with Bret since Rock of Love. Don’t threaten me with a good time!)

K and I also watched Mean Girls, which I had never seen, and I’m always happy to patch up a hole in my cultural reference knowledge. “Her hair is so big because it’s full of secrets” is everything. Feel free to welcome me to fifteen years ago.

I have to believe the increased meds dosage is making a difference. Tuesday alone I scheduled a doctor’s appointment (colorectal), an ultrasound (thyroid), a dinner/movie date with a friend, a massage, an eye exam, and a dentist’s appointment AND I enrolled for supplemental vision insurance. It seems like a reasonable amount to accomplish in one day, but I’d been putting off some of these appointments for months. Why is it so hard to pick up the phone and call someone? I will never be able to explain it. Trust me – I wish I could help people understand! The best I can do is recognize that I’m functioning more effectively and keep track of what I’m doing that’s different.

Yesterday I committed to flying to Boston to see a friend get married on New Year’s Eve. “Black tie optional”? Hell yeah I want to go hang out in that hotel and see that venue that my amazing friend and her intended are having a black-tie optional shin-dig in! I can’t imagine my lifestyle ever affording me such luxurious splurges on the regular so I need to take advantage of the opportunities when they manifest. Besides, I already have a dress that I got for a black-tie New Year’s Even anniversary party a few years ago; wearing it a second time makes it an even better value! (We don’t discuss how much money I ultimately spend on a wrap and statement earrings.) (Ack! I need to make an appointment with Katelyn for my hair!)

I haven’t seen Karen (the friend getting married) in FIVE years, which seems impossible, but there it is. Karen is one of my original gang of Webpeeps – Webpepes 1.0! Most of us met on a news aggregate website, got to know each other in the forum (4um elites represent), and created a new bulletin board to hang out in. At our peak we had about 150 members but the core group was about 40, and I’ve had the pleasure of meeting at least 30 of us in meatspace.

The first time I met Karen (GreenBeans/GB) was at her then husband’s 30TH (?) birthday party. Rider (PsiDefect), Tim (GasMasher), and I drove my car up to Boston from Philly (Tim and I drove up from MD) to surprise this dude we’d never met, and that cemented my friendship with both Karen and Ted (Law). Their marriage broke up some time ago, which I learned the weekend she and I got together in Orlando with Catrina (CatWritr) and CJ (Hajen). Which was somehow five full years ago.

The first time I met ANY of these nerds was…I don’t even know how long ago at the original Farkoasterfest. I lived with Katelyn and Vanessa at the time and V straight up took pictures of Rider and his license plate when he pulled up to scoop me and head out to Sandusky, OH. I do know I was working at SSA and it was relatively early in my tenure, so early-2000s? It was also probably the first time I spent an entire weekend with people not in recovery since I’d gotten clean. Several hundred miles away with nearly perfect strangers – who thought that was a good idea?

It turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Some of the people I met that weekend and after are straight up some of my closest friends. It was my first experience making friends as an adult, which is startlingly difficult to do. My first group of friends that didn’t start in our hometown or on campus or in recovery – people I connected with in a realm where all we had was the words on the screen and our wit.

Places I’ve since hung out with these people include Seattle twice, Cedar Point one or two more times, Northern VA, DC, PA, and Toledo. I’ve seen at least three couples wed and have almost ten kids between them. I dated the guy in Toledo for a few years. I flew out to Seattle for Andrea (BigOrangeCat/TheOtherAndrea)’s 40th birthday party and to visit her in the hospital before she died. We helped Amy (Hisey) mourn the loss of her nearly full-term daughter. We helped Joe (ThedNeedles) deal with his ex keeping his son away from him – some of his helped him with legal aid. We watched each other’s kids grow up and have kids of their own. Norm (Zorgon) just emailed to let me know he was in town (-ish –northern DC suburb) and wanted to connect but was laden with germs – we get together for a meal very few years when work brings him this way. Never let anyone tell you your online friends don’t count.

(Logging back in to the old bulletin board to count heads gifted me with a video of Mike (BitZero) (father of FarKoasterFest) smashing up some obsolete Fark hardware. Good times!)

I reached out to CJ and Cat to see if either one was planning on coming to the wedding to offer the other side of the king-sized bed I’ll be sleeping in in Boston and I’m glad I did. CJ’s got a handful of kids so money is always a concern and I’m paying for the room whether I’m alone or with someone else. We’ll be FaceTiming Cat at midnight and maybe during the ceremony too.

In fact, I’ve been suspiciously functional this week. Monday was meh, but since then I’ve had three good, productive days in a row. I have no specific plans tonight so I could go to a meeting, or I could go home and see if any of this momentum can be channeled into house projects. Coming up with a fictional framing device has given me the opportunity to figuratively walk myself through the necessary steps to get started. So whatever comes of this writing exercise, it’s been worth doing.

#nanowrimo #f**k fifty

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dailyaudiobible · 5 years

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11/01/2019

Ezekiel 1:1-3:15, Hebrews 3:1-19, Psalms 104:1-23, Proverbs 26:24-26

Today is the 1st day of November. Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible. I’m Brian and here we are at another threshold. So, even as we approach the end of the week, here we go into the 11th month of our year together. And, boy, we've been moving through some transitions over this past week as we move in and out of different books. And today as we begin the month of November, we’re going to begin a new book, the book of Ezekiel. And this book and this figure, and some of the things that happen in this book, they’re very personally meaningful to me. In fact, my wife and I, we named our son Ezekiel. So, before we dive in, let’s kind of explore with the territory that we will be moving into as we go through this book.

Introduction to the book of Ezekiel:

So, we remember Jeremiah, right? That was the book before last. And we journeyed through basically a couple of decades of his warning, prophetic utterances and then we read the book of Lamentations and we felt and saw and witnessed those prophecies coming true. And, so, today we’re at the threshold, obviously of this new month and a new book of prophecy. So, Ezekiel as a person was a well-educated man, his loyalty to God was deep, his faithfulness to the traditions of his people ran deep. He came from a priestly family and like Jeremiah, he was often instructed by God to symbolically act out his prophecies. And to kind of understand the time period, Jeremiah prophesied a little bit before, but also alongside Ezekiel, so, somewhat contemporary. But whereas Jeremiah was prophesying from Jerusalem about the fall of Jerusalem, right, about surrendering to Babylon and living. Remember all these prophecies? Ezekiel was prophesying essentially at the same time from exile in Babylon. So, in some ways it's the other side of the coin where we get a, basically, a prophetic comprehensive view of the exile. Ezekiel lived in a climate of international struggle and upheaval. The Babylonian Empire had conquered the Assyrian Empire. Of course, it was the Assyrian Empire who conquered Israel, the northern 10 tribes. Now they've been conquered. Egypt and Babylon clashed within the land of ancient Israel, fighting over it because whoever got to possess that strip of land basically had control of the major trade routes between the lands to the north and the east and the continent of Africa. So, very, very desirable to control that piece of land. And at one point or another the Israelites had been allied with or…or subdued by all of these ancient empires, but Jerusalem had been destroyed. Rather, Judah would pay tribute and become a vassal that had change hands. All this happened during the generational decline in the kingly leadership that we were able to observe intimately as we moved through the books of Kings and Chronicles, right? Remember? We’d meet a new king and he did evil in the sight of the Lord. And we’d meet another king and he did good in the sight of the Lord. But we saw the trend declining down to this point. And then in 597 BC, the Babylonians did subdue Jerusalem and they did begin deporting people and Ezekiel was among the first to go into exile. So, then several years later the king that the Babylonians had put in place, king Zedekiah who Jeremiah prophesied to rebelled against Babylon, which was contrary to Jeremiah's prophetic advice. And a in 588 then, the Babylonians came back and attacked Jerusalem and two years later they…they breached the wall and swept into the city and burned it to the ground and destroyed the temple of God. So, during Ezekiel’s earlier years in exile he prophesied about this. He prophesied that Jerusalem would be destroyed even as Jeremiah was prophesying the same thing from within Jerusalem. And after the fall of Jerusalem and the…and the temple was destroyed, the prophecies of Ezekiel transform into some of the most hope filled messages of renewal and restoration that we can find in the whole Bible. But that's not all there is to Ezekiel. Ezekiel contains depictions that are almost like science fiction, almost cinematic visions that are similar to the visions of Daniel or the visions found in the book of Revelation. And these similarities are often cross-examined in the apocalyptic study of the end times or eschatology. With the visions, for as much scholarship has been given to them, they had a profound effect on Ezekiel himself and we can see that, and we can open ourselves to it as…as we read them. So, if…if were able to approach this book and the imagery inside of this book from the perspective of what it speaks to our hearts we’ll be able to revel in the texture that…that is just out in front of us allowing it to speak more like a sunrise speaks, right, in…in poetry, rather than how the morning newspaper speaks for example. So, we’re gonna camp out in the book of Ezekiel for a little while. It holds a tremendous amount of promise for us in our day and it…it's one of the larger and most influential books of prophecy that are in the Bible at all. So, even though it's ancient, right, and was written thousands of years ago, these prophecies tell of the ultimate hope and blessing that God has for us when we do one thing, return to Him. And, so, we begin. Ezekiel chapter 1 verse 1 through 3 verse 15 today. And we’re reading from the Amplified Bible this week.

Prayer:

Father, we thank You for Your word. We thank You for bringing us here into this new month, the 11th month of the year. And it's amazing, the passage of time, but it's also amazing how profoundly You…You have worked inside of our lives so far this year. And it will be easy enough to think we’re on the home stretch, but You have so much more to speak. And, so, Father as we begin the book of Ezekiel and we move into all of this imagery, we invite Your Holy Spirit to speak it into our hearts. For example, we’re talking about Spirits today with wheels that a life is in four faces and they move straight forward and sideways and up and down, we can look for what this might have to do with our lives today and yet we read of those beings that were empowered by Your spirit and the Scripture says that each went straight forward. Wherever the Spirit was about to go they would go without turning as they went. Father, that is our desire, that is the posture of heart that we desire to have on this earth as we are empowered by Your Spirit. So, come, help us to go straight forward wherever the Spirit leads. We will go without turning as we go. Come into that today Lord because there are many sets of circumstances in all of our lives. There are thousands and thousands of stories that are being told within this community alone, and this means something to many of us. And, so help us to live into it. Come Holy Spirit we pray. In the mighty name of Jesus, we ask. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, it is home base, and it’s always, we’re you find out what's happening around here.

There are a number of sections to check out when you're checking out what's going on around here. The Initiatives section would be one place and the Community section where the Prayer Wall lives would be another place. That's where all the links for the different social media channels are etc. etc. So, be sure to check that out. Check out the Daily Audio Bible shop while you're at it. There are resources there for this journey that we’re on together.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at dailyaudiobible.com as well. So, there's a link on the homepage at dailyaudiobible.com. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app, you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, of course, as always if you have a prayer request or comment you can just press the Hotline button in the app, the little red button up at the top and start sharing your story or you can dial 877-942-4253.

And that is it for today other than to say welcome to this brand-new month. Buckle up it’s going to be quite an adventure. But that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is Kat from Wisconsin. I called in one other time I think a couple months ago, and I just want to ask for prayer for, well, you know, today seems like kind of a hard day. I don’t know why. Getting out of bed was just really tough today and I think about depression and how it really steals so much life from us and I just want to lift up specifically my brother who is…he’s a doctor and he just had a resident, a fellow resident, commit suicide. And I think it really shook him because he…he deals with those same dark thoughts. It just seems like that’s the…the enemy loves that and that’s…he just, you know, is putting his hands together in glee, thinking that he’s won and that he’s been victorious and you know that with God that’s not the whole story. But I just…I really pray…I guess I pray for those who are dealing with depression and other thoughts of ending their life. I just lift them up to God and I also want to just reach out on behalf of my brother too and I just thank this whole community. I’ve listened almost every day. I think I’ve missed a couple days but I’m, you know, here for the long haul for this whole year. And I just know there’s people on here that are so faithful in praying. And, so, I know God hears your prayer and I think it’s beautiful and I love…love hearing the prayers that the saints lift up. All right. Thanks so much everybody. Bye-bye.

Hey DAB family this is Byron out in Florida. I wanted to say hi to Mike Greenberg. Mike it was good to hear your voice. I’m so thankful for what you and Sarah Jane and tech people and of course the Hardin family do that bring us the DAB every single day that we all rely on so much. I’m so sorry for the unthinkable loss of what’s happened to your friend Dave and I pray for you and for him to be able to bring him some sort of comfort in this extremely difficult time. When you called you were fairly calm and composed but I get the feeling that to break a 10-year silence you must’ve been very broken up inside for your friend. And the Lord is broken up too. He hates death and all the darkness that consumes His children. And, so, I pray that in some way shape or form you’re able to express that sympathy to your friend and his family, that they might be comforted and find a way to move on in the Lord. I hope it’s not the last time we hear from you. Love you brother. Take care.

This is Candace from Oregon. I want to pray for adult children Maia and Kevin. Their parents called one after the other on the October 25th podcast. Thank You, Lord for these parents, for their hearts of love, for these dear, dear children. And thank You that Maia and Kevin, although they’ve been attacked by the enemy, they are people who want You Lord, they want the life that You have for them. And, so, I claim the full work of Jesus Christ on behalf of Maia, on behalf of Kevin. I rebuke all foul spirits, and every plan of the enemy I pray that it crumbles to dust and that these two emerge victorious because of the full work of Christ. Oh Lord, I pray that they walk forward bruised and battered but now healed with a renewed vision and with hearts filled with Your Holy Spirit and empowered by You Lord. Thank You, Lord for all that You have done on our behalf. Without You we can do nothing, but we can do all things in Christ who strengthens us. [singing starts] God our Savior is the sovereign Lord and we have strength [singing stops].

Hi everyone, it’s Christy again from Kentucky. I just wanted to say to Pastor Nick and Christine, just wanted to let you know that I am praying for your son Kevin who is bipolar and who’s now in critical condition and after stabbing himself. I’m praying for healing for him…for Kevin his body and his mind and his Spirit. Praying for travel mercies as you go from South Carolina to Michigan and also for provision when you get there. Mona in Dubai, I wanted to let you know I’m praying for your daughter Maia. She’s struggling in life. Also, for Chandra in Maryland, we stand in agreement in praying for children who are being bullied and who are contemplating suicide. Laura, I’m praying for you and your beautiful baby boy. Paul in Barcelona, I loved, loved, loved your message to Cindy. That is one of my most beautiful heartfelt stories in the Bible, when John reclines into Jesus so close, he can hear His heartbeat. Oh, one day Paul we will be there. Aaron in Oklahoma on praying for you and your wife. Max in Madison, praying for your depression brother and your anxiety. Grace in Tampa, praying __ for God’s will for your life. And Lisa in Sweden, praying for peace for your sister and her for her salvation. Maritsa, I’m playing for your sister Miguel and we are praying that you get a good pathologic…pathology report about his tumor. Asking for healing of the name of Jesus. Lola in Sidney your praying with you for the people who are fighting the fires in Lebanon asking that that is all gone and that no one would hurt __ or property destroyed. All right everybody. I love you guys so much. I pray each of you are having a most blessed and lovely day today.

Good morning I’m calling to pray for Pamela’s brother, Pamela from Christchurch who just called in. I just heard the message this morning. And I just first want to encourage you and tell you that a very, very dear friend of mine had a similar situation, a very kind and gentle man who had three sons and because of lies from his wife he was forbidden to see them and he paid child support faithfully every month. And as each son grew up and became an adult, they started to see the truth of the lies from their mother. And now all three boys have relationship with their father again, very close relationships, very close relationships. They’re a very close-knit foursome at this point and I just really what I encourage you and I want to lift up your brother. And just, Lord, I just lift up this man. You know his name and You know the circumstances and I pray Father that You would give him purpose beyond his children and that purpose would be You. Lord I pray that You would strengthen him when he feels weak, that You would give him the courage to go on, that he would trust You in the timing of the relationship with his children. And Lord I lift up the mother of these children and I pray Father that she would see that You are a God that will not be mocked, that so whatsoever a man says shall he also reap. And that goes for her choice at this point with her children to keep them away from their father. I pray Father that she would realize this quickly and very soon and that she would change and allow this relationship with their father to…

Hi family this is his little Cherry in Canada and I was scribbling in my journal this afternoon and it was about me but somehow it was also about Joe the worship leader in Seattle. So, Joe this is for both of us. Lord, look how kind You are how patient with me. Everyone who reads my story will stand in awe of You. Wow talk about generous they will say, those who can speak. The rest will stand and as I will. For once I will be oblivious to my issues, my stuff. I will simply be flabbergasted by the gentle way You care for me, the risks You take to trust me, the confidence You feel in my halfhearted yes. I will stand silent as the credits roll. You have written a masterpiece. My life and Your love, it’s disarming and mesmerizing the way the two tangle as one. And it’s all You’re doing. It’s You darling. You move as if it’s unrehearsed and how can it be. How do You do it? How wonderful are You? Thank You for this gasp that is Your faithfulness. I am so relieved that You are what matters. You are the hero, unmistakable, irresistible, so easily adored it’s like falling. Every eye is on You. Everyone has forgotten about me. What a gift that You are the God of my story. Frankly Lord I’m not sure how I’m doing in my relationship with You, but You are doing amazing in Your relationship with me.

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wheelthefridge · 5 years

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in honor of last night having been my last ever shift dishwashing at the same restaurant i’ve been at for the past four years here’s an absurdly long list of random chaotic moments that literally no one asked for that i’ve been compiling since day one:

bj, with a half full gallon of orange juice: this expired two months ago. *pours down drain* that was a long time ago

sam: YOU! I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU!! *carries on normally with no explanation* bj: smack that! that too! smack those vegetables! punch that burger in the nose! chop that bun! bob: no, flick the bun. you have to flick it.

*bad and boujee playing* bj: walks into kitchen, singing bj: you better know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run bj: walks out of kitchen, still singing

me: hey can you put the wet floor sign out for me dylan: sure dylan: *slips while putting the sign out* me:

sam: get this- i haven’t smoked pot in like three days and my brain is ready to roll! yeah!

joe: ha! oldest trick in the book i just started writing

dude @bar: ten percent of people are over 6'1" other dude: what about 6'2" dude 1: what? no. ten percent of people are OVER 6'1" - so that includes 6'2" dude 2: idk I know a lot of tall guys. taller than me dude 1: what? i’m saying- just- ten percent of everyone in the whole world- you know how many people there are in the world? 7 billion– dude 2: i thought it was six billion dude 1: no, 7 billion- ten percent of 7 billion—

joe, digging through the trash: i’m just gonna peruse through here,, aaaaannnd….. nope not here me: what’re u looking for Joe: …..a book

didi: is eating a pistachio katherine: is that sour cream

sam: some dirty whorebag wants two pickles

joe: sam she am. that’s right. dr seuss wrote a book about her

katherine: oh my goddd this song is always on i’m so tired of it joe: is it? i don’t think i’ve heard it before carolyn: eh it’s all just one long brazilian song to me

katherine: look at my straw i put it in the pencil sharpener

sam: i’m on crack cocaine. you heard it here

sam, aggressively putting silverware in the tray: just the way the cookie crumbles me: yeah? sam, fake crying: yes

adele: if you’re ready- sam: what if I’m not bob: too bad. she only cares if she’s ready

something: *breaks* sam: time for the mop. and by mop i mean… this thing *holds up dustpan*

mike: you should go on junior master chef…. and only make fries

sam, quietly as she speedwalks by me: panic panic panic panic panic panic panic panic

sam, beginning of the night: my goal is to make at least forty bucks tonight. hopefully sixty sam, later that night: i’ve made five dollars

sam, pouring a drink into the trash right next to the sink: you know, im not sure why i poured that in the trash. i’ve had a very off day

katherine, after accidentally spraying salsa on herself: i just sprayed salsa all over myself bj: i feel like that too sometimes. i love salsa so much

sam: can you imagine if i did like hardcore drugs how messed up i would be- i’m messed up soberly

someone: what’re you supposed to feed twenty kids kerry: pizza bj: vodka

sam: will you let bob know there’s gonna be seven in the snug bj: seven in the snug? that’s my band name. we’re really good

edson: *spins cover on counter and stares at it for solid thirty seconds before putting his finger down to stop it* edson: good.

sam: what should i draw bj: you should draw casey, hanging from a cliff, with a pterodactyl flying towards them who is on fire, but, seems optimistic about it

bj: life is too short for low fat cheese. remember that.

sam, beginning of night, in a really good mood: guess what i’m drunk and high right now sam, later that night: i was just pouring a beer and i dropped it. like my hand just let go of it sam, end of night: i’m never doing this again

joe: you know who didn’t clock out yet?? i have two thumbs! joe: ……wait joe: you know who has two thumbs and hasn’t clocked out yet?? this guy!! me: there ya go buddy

bob: i’ve slept fifteen hours in the past four days me: that’s not good bob: yeah

edson: look edson: *holds out hand with top spinning in his palm* *giggles*

sam: i cannot wait for this day to be over me: it’s barely started sam: i took a shot before i got here. i have more in my car

bob: hi sam sam: hi bob didi: hi sam sam: fuck off

joe: her? oh yeah her name is sarah whitaker katherine: oh i think i know her joe: that’s funny because i just made that up. i’m willing to bet money that she’s nineteen tho me: why joe: bc i overheard her say that she’s nineteen

joe: i’m gonna send you a video but you can’t watch it now it’s needs full attention with headphones and the lights off

bj: if you lose your hand, don’t replace it with a fork. that would be a bad choice. i know it’s probably the cheapest option, right up there with stick, but just spend the money.

bj, on a different day: i think if you were to get your hands cut off, getting them replaced with plates would be a very bad idea. you can dig. and you can toss. but that’s about it. no playing the saxophone.

colby: *doesn’t show up to work* bj: maybe i should leave him a message of just me crying

katherine: i think an old man just asked me to live with him

sam: wait *pulls celery strings out of her mouth* that just came out of my throat

bob: i’m such a grump tonight. i’m in a good mood i’m just so grumpy. bob: maybe i’m not in a good mood…

bj, after sending christa downstairs to get liquor for the bar: i put a live cobra down there too so… if she comes back with it dead in her hands…. she’s a champ. and that’s that.

bj: i had a dog today did you have a dog? me: no bj: oh. well.

dylan, holding phone camera at joe: hey joe can you pull ur shirt down joe, pulling the collar of his shirt halfway down his chest: yeah like this? dylan, taking picture: yeah thanks

bj: HI-YAH carley: you’re a ninja!! bj: yes. don’t be alarmed. i only use my powers for good.

bj, with one bottle in each hand, pouring water in the sink, mimicking cow milking motions: it’s like a cow. mooooooeeeeeeuuuuuhhhhhhgggg aaaaaauuuuuueuejhshhsii. that’s what cows sound like right?

bj: we have a dog, and we’re getting chickens. i’m not really sure why were getting chickens. do i consider myself a farmer? not really.

bj: we should make a youtube channel of just me saying really random things to you and you not responding to me whatsoever me: mhmm

nancy: I’m sleeping

sam: *pours drink out on counter next to sink* sam: wHAT the FuCK was that!? why did i do that?? i’ve lost it! i’ve hit rock bottom!!

sam: *bends over* ughhhhhhhhhhhhh *straightens up* ok i’m fine

bj: yum! that’s how i rate the soup. two yums up!! *laughs for like a full minute*

sam: i got my motorcycle license over the weekend and now all everyone’s saying to me is “no don’t get a motorcycle they’re so dangerous” like shut the fuck up if i die i die it’s my choice

bj: i think if i were to be turned into some kind of commercial type of food, if i got turned into a nugget, i think i’d be indignant. i’ve lived my whole life and now i’m a nugget??? “oh i was a great roasted-“ i was a nugget. i was eaten with fries out of a box with a small soda.

bj: hello everybody. i have arrived. please remain calm. bob: *screams*

radio: the fastest lawn mower in the world goes up to 150 miles per hour! bob: …….why??

sam: i just meowed in scotty’s face and he was completely unfazed by it. like a full on Meow.

bob: lemme just touch these live wires with my wet hands bj: bob has gone offline

katherine: i totally forgot to put their order in for i don’t even know how long me: ……..i’m sure it’ll be fine katherine: i mean, nothing matters, right? right. nothing matters.

bj: hey did you guys hear that kate: yeah what was that bj: oh i was just yelling……….. about the soup kate: me: katherine: bj: i’ll try to keep it down next time

bob: you sleep a lot when you’re old. it’s just practice for death. getting ready for The Big Sleep. let’s see how do i wanna go out? on my back?? nah not for me. on my front babey!

didi: hi sam sam: SHUT UP didi, quieter: okay…… sam: i love you didi: no bj: so you’re a grownup now. that’s means you have to do grown up things, like, pay for dinner and stuff? me: uh huh bj: it’s all downhill from here

bj: pon pon the van poco. right? me: mhmm bj: probably. i mean. i’m no doctor, but

random woman @ bar: we are the matrix. We. Are. The Matrix.

bj, to the tune of frosty the snowman: clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk look at all this stuff. clunkity clunk clunk clunkity clunk clunk making casey’s job tough! pretty good right?? i just made it up

bj: *walks into kitchen* YES! that’s all i have to say. that’s it. BOBS killing it. DIDIS killing it. casey MURDERED it. you’re welcome. *walks out of kitchen* bj: today is the second day in a row my dog has eaten my lunch. yesterday and then today. it’s my own fault really bob: well you know what they say about men who like floppy french fries. *doesn’t elaborate*

sam: there’s a toy baby in my section. like just a toy baby taking up a seat in my section. what do i do like do i move the bitch? do i leave her there??

bob, talking to himself: if you get sick tomorrow, just remember. it’s your own fault for eating food off the floor.

bob, to katherine: no, you don’t have to mop the carpet

bj: cheeeesy.

laura: if i get through tonight without a heart attack it’ll be incredible. if i do have a heart attack tho just let me go

caldo: *unintelligible yelling* SELLING my BODY for SEX *more unintelligible yelling*

bob: my fathers brother sent all his kids to australia. i guess he figured at least one of them would make it

caldo: i don’t trust people who go out to eat tuna fish

bob: can you make some more guacamole soon we’re running low laura: pulls five (5) avocados from her pockets

bob: he looks like jesus. well. he looks like what white people think jesus looked like

sam: yeah. Please. eat some more mother Fucking crackers.

bj: i feel like i gave birth to the eggplant stacks tonight. and honestly? if my child looked like that? i’d be proud. proud to have an eggplant child

bj: alright everybody let’s get the fuf out of here!! i said fuf not f- it’s safe. f u f starts and ends with soft letters no one gets hurt. any word that starts with a soft letter and ends with a hard letter is bad news… i feel like every time i come in here i annoy you guys. casey’s one dumbass comment away from killing me. “hey so what are your thoughts on grass?” “that’s it” *mimics shooting a gun*

ilia: -and the dogs gonna get diabetes- katherine, indignantly: i cleaned it really well!

mickey: i’ll tell you one thing. crack is good.

sam: some lady just rolled up to the bar, no bra, nipples beamin through the shirt- LETS GET IT!!!!

caldo: *speed walks into kitchen and shotguns a beer over the trash* ok i’m back. i should not have smoked this morning

dom: little kid just picked up a knife and went “oh cool i can stab someone” me, katherine, and sam in unison: good dom: yeah the dad took it away

sam: my friend was like “why is your go to dance move just to snap” and i was like “i don’t know, i’m white” *shrugs*

bj: someone just asked me if i’m having fun. am i having fun? i don’t know if i’m having fun. there are certainly other things i’d rather be doing right now, but i don’t know if i can definitively say that i’m Not having fun.

bj: some jobs require Only a ladle bj, thirty seconds later, after walking away and coming back: sometimes, also a funnel

bj, @ laura who’s eating cornbread: you cornbread eating chef!!! laura: bj: laura: bj: i’m just saying facts in a weird way. you know like you’re in trouble.

sam: *war cry* *spits out gum* *walks away*

bj: what kind of smoothie? Soup Smoothie!!

katherine: so this woman ordered some hot water so i gave it to her and her husband says you know what that’s for right and i’m like ….to drink? and he says nope! and doesn’t explain so i’m just like ………..okay! and walk away bc i don’t even want to know

bj: there’s no shame in it! A Grown Man Can Bathe In Yogurt!!!

bj, leaning down very close to to-go box: i love you

bob: anyone want a drink? brian: whatever’s your strongest bob: milk it is

guy at bar: sUE HIM?!?!??? oh i’d sue him yeah

sam: who orders something extra cold?? like, you need to Die now thanks.

sam: do you dare me to drink this buffalo sauce me: yes laura, walking by: snort it

sam: one more day. just one more day laura: of what sam: waking up

bob: *is trying to explain easter to jewish laura* laura: wait so he died… then he came back to life?? then he died Again??? bob: he died. then he came back just to tell people he was alive. then he said SEE YA and ascended to heaven

sam: i HATE margaritas. i don’t know why i just made myself one.

bob: wow. i have this overpowering urge to just go home.

bj, putting back a slotted spoon: this is a bad choice for dressing. a bad choice.

me: *catches a plate about to fall* bj: woah! smooth moves!! spider-man? maybe.

danny: so you know how at my other job everyone calls me daddy?

sam: *dumps out two full wine glasses* i fucked up. tell no one.

me: remember when we used to be able to leave early? bob: no. i think we imagined it.

danny: i didn’t realize we served DICK here -a few min later- danny: sorry i just got out of work and i’m all fired up

sam: my moms drunk and she won’t go home

bob: hey wasn’t that slang for mari- bj: cocaine.

bj: *kicks kitchen door open* YEE-HAW!!!!

danny: sorry casey me: what for danny: for having to deal with me me: yeah *shrugs* danny: they should pay you more me: yeah

didi: i kill you ilia: do it now didi: no ilia: do it i wanna die

danny, about a burger: we’ve got ourselves a squirter!!

sam: is that a chicken patty sydney: it’s my dog

sam, on my last night with her: lets get casey TRASHED tonight

sam: are you gonna go dancing in new york didi: yes laura: whore it up

#this is insanely long #feel free to scroll past but you might get a chuckle #mickeys is not a restaurant it’s a den of chaotic energy #also if ur curious bj is a bartender and basically a manager #bob is the head cook and kitchen manager #sam is a waitress and bartender (and lesbian)#didi (pronounced gigi) is the buffest man i know and also gay and brazilian #oh and he’s a cook lmao #i got too caught up in describing his buff and gayness i forgot to mention his role in the restaurant #and katherine’s my sister #i think that covers all the main people #my post #feel free to rb but i doubt anyone would want to????#things heard at mickeys

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years

Text

COTW 10 - Full

Levi was having a shit day at work. He was out in the field, biting his tongue about his plans to marry Eren as Erwin prattled on, asking after Eren and his mental health. He knew Erwin was concerned, but he'd already been thrown up on, and had one patient try to take a swing at him. Eren had said he was proud that Levi was out in the field helping people, but on days like this, it was hard to feel appreciated. At least the patient they were currently transporting to hospital was an old beta woman who was happy enough talking to through the gap. Hearing the radio crackle, he sighed as Petra's voice came through "Levi? Are you on channel?" She may have backed off on her continued perusal of him, but sometimes she'd revert back to hitting on him, making them all uncomfortable. She'd kind of edged to the fringe of their friends. Snatching up the receiver, Erwin looked to him "Go ahead Petra" "Eren's at Shinganshima hospital. He's not hurt, but he did sound pretty shaken up" Levi grabbed the receiver from Erwin "What do you mean he's there?!" "He called in an assault, Mike called me to see if I could warn you" "He called in an assault?" "I don't know much more, only that he's there... and that he's ok. He's not the victim" Erwin took the receiver back "Thanks, Petra. We're completing a patient transfer at the moment, we will be there shortly" "You're welcome. Mike also said to tell Levi that there's nothing wrong with the twins, and that he'd know what that means" That was something... but this whole thing was something he didn't need. Not on such a crappy day like today. He knew Eren could throw down with the best of them, but his mate has said he was going into the dance studio to catch up with his partner. Levi had no idea how that turned into assault "He does. Thank you, Petra" Erwin didn't dare talk for the first few moments, as Levi gripped the steering wheel so hard it hurt his hands "He's ok" "He wasn't the victim. That doesn't mean he's ok" "If something was wrong, Mike would have said" "Eren probably told him not to. We both know he likes to hide things" "He's gotten better though, hasn't he?" "No. Not really. No. That isn't fair. It's still deeply ingrained in him that he has to hide things to protect us" "Where's Viren?" "With Eren" That meant their son would have seen whatever Eren had... Shit... "Levi, we don't know what happened. We're ten minutes out" "You don't seem to get it at all. Eren. He cares for everyone. He was actually upset over the people his father killed. He took on that pain like it was his to carry. He's not fragile, but he tries so hard to make everyone around him happy. He'd even cry if something happened to you and your shitty eyebrows" "I know he's a good kid" "But?" "But he is rather emotional" "You try being tortured and kept chained up, and see how you like it. He's still discriminated against for being an omega" "That isn't as bad at once was" "If you believe that, you're a fucking idiot" "Omegas were segregated to keep them safe. They were treasures for looking at and never touching" "And whores for the rich, when their heats hit. We all know the shit that's been smeared over the truth" "Levi" "Look I don't care if you don't like Eren. Actually, no. I do. I know you two have butted heads, but he is my mate. You should at least respect that" "I didn't say I didn't like him" "That's why you've been hounding me nonstop about his mental state. You want to know the truth? Going on his medication has messed with all his systems. He's barely an acceptable weight, and he has a whole new heap of triggers that set off panic attacks. His nightmares have returned, my nightmares have returned. He also thought I was cheating on him, and wanted to break our bond because I started treating him like shit without knowing it. He lost a pup down in Paradis, that's why Hanji came down to join us, and he's so worried about everyone around him, he's hiding his pain over it all. He's brave and he's stubborn, and he's my hope. He gets twice as much shit for being a male omega, and he still stands up for himself. He's not all panic attacks and crying fits. So you need to start respecting him" "I didn't say I didn't respect him" "No. I know you too well. You've always thought he was bad for me" "Not bad. You just have a tendency to lose all control when it comes to him. He nearly destroyed you. More than once" "Being taken against his will, then forced to witness the inside of a baby farm was hardly his idea of a pleasant holiday" "There were quite a few high ranking officials that fell thanks to Floch's investigation" "And thanks to Eren" Erwin sensed his defeat, the alpha turning his attention to the beta woman in the back, Levi seriously wanted to deck the man. They'd had this argument more times than he could count. He wasn't the same person he'd been since meeting Eren, and talking to Krista had pulled up so many thoughts and emotions. He knew he struggled with his anxieties over Eren, but anxieties and worry came hand in hand with loving someone. He couldn't help it if Eren deserved the moon and every star in the sky. He loved him and he loved loving him. Even when things were rough, Eren soothed his soul like nothing else. * Completing the hand off, the beta woman smiled happily as she was wheeled away. Levi had made it a point not to look in Erwin's direction as he filled out the last of the forms. He had more important things to do. Get the forms done, then get the truth of everything out of Eren. Coming closer, Levi growled at Erwin. The man stopping just short of placing his hand on his shoulder. He didn't want to drag this up again. He didn't even want to invite Erwin to his wedding. That had been bad enough. He'd headed down to the courthouse to see about getting their marriage licence thing. The things they'd wanted on Eren's behalf had pissed him off. Eren was treated like a criminal. They wanted absolutely everything, including bank records and police clearance. Why the fuck their finances where any of the governments business, he had no clue. He'd thought it would be a simple case of presenting their ID's, but no. He'd had to take a small tree down, only for them to say each page needed to be signed by an authorised signatory. Which Mike could do, when he had time to talk to him without Erwin around. He was still yet to pick Eren's ring up... His phone hadn't survived its swim, which was probably why Eren had had to tell Mike everything. He hadn't had a chance to swing by the shops and pick up a new one... stupidly forgetting he could pick one up online when shopping for Viren. Though, in his defence, work had kicked his arse. He'd been dead on his feet when he came back on Monday night, then Viren had cried almost all night, his exhaustion had bled over into each following day since then. It was now Saturday and it felt like a whole month had passed since he returned. He'd been pampered into laziness by domestic life. Heading into the emergency department, he didn't know the woman working. Explaining that his mate had been brought in, and that needed to talk to Mike, he was made to wait in the reception area, where everyone was sniffling and sharing their shitty germs... Eren loathed hospitals, and wouldn't be happy to be there. Then there was Viren. He'd been so upset when Eren collapsed, if he witness what happened, the poor boy would probably just as distraught. When Mike finally appeared, Levi earned himself glares crossing the room before all of them. Slipping past Mike, his friend patted his shoulder, much like how Erwin had tried to before, leading him forward, he couldn't seem to find Eren's scent in the air "Eren's ok. Split lip and split knuckles, but he and the pups are otherwise ok" "Then what the fuck happened?" "He was having a late lunch with his dance partner Sasha, when he heard a cry. Leaving Viren with her, he found an omega in the middle of being assaulted" "Sexually?" "No. Though that didn't stop the beta from doing a number on their back and shoulders. Eren broke his arm, and jaw. Called emergency services for the omega and has been with her since they arrived" "He's really good with other omegas" "Her partner is on his way in. She'd come into the city for Christmas shopping, and was on her way to meet up with friends..." "Your shitty husband was just trying to tell me today how much better things were for omegas. What a load of shit. Even refuges don't give two fucks about the omegas in their care" "Just try not to let that anger show. She's pretty shaken up" "I know better than to do that. Have the police taken their statements" "It was your friend Pixis" Pixis barely ventured out his precinct these days. Things must have been desperate with the silly season upon them. Knocking lightly on the door to a room just off the emergency department, Mike opened the door slowly. Eren was sitting in the visitors chair, while Viren was bragging about all sorts of things to a very exhausted looking omega. The moment her eyes met his, she flinched away. Eren was there right away, hushing her softly "It's ok. This is my mate, Levi" "I trust you not to hurt her, but if she grows distressed, come find me" He'd planned to get Eren and go home, but of course his mate wanted to be there for the omega. Time to appear non threatening "Hey. Hey, Eren" "Hello, it's nice to meet you Levi" He noted the way the female omega didn't offer her name, and the slight tremor remaining in her frame. Moving to sit on the edge of the woman's bed, Eren wrapped an arm around her shoulders "You're perfectly safe here. I know all the doctors way too well, and if anyone does anything, Levi will jump in to protect us" "I'm not sure you need protecting. I'm so sorry you had to..." "No. I'm sorry you had to experience something like that" "You were honestly amazing. You didn't even hesitate" "Of course not. No one deserves to be made to feel that scared" Lifting Viren into his hold, Levi sank down into the visitors chair "How was work?" "Long. Erwin talks way too much" Eren snorted, then paused to explain "Erwin is married to Mike, the doctor who was there when you were admitted. He and Levi are paramedics" "Oh..." The woman frowned at the word paramedics "Who drove you in?" "I don't know. I think they were EMT's..." So Eren didn't know them "I did try to call you, then I remembered the whole phone thing. I'm guessing Mike called Erwin?" "Mike called Petra, who radioed through to us" "Ahhh... I did tell him not to. With you working, and me not being hurt" "Eren, you're a terrible liar. You've got steri-strips on your face and a wrapped hand" "It's fine. He didn't even hit my stomach, so it's nothing much. I've had worse from Viren. But we'll be talking about this when we get home. Levi might look all grumpy, but he worries way too much" The female omega forced a smile in his direction "That must be nice" "It is in its own way. Levi actually treats me like I'm his equal" "I can see why. I've never seen an omega hit a beta, or an alpha" "Sometimes it's the only way they listen..." "It was my fault, for being an omega" "It is not your fault. You cannot help being an omega. That beta could help being a douche" "I still feel responsible..." "I know. But I swear it wasn't your fault. You did nothing to deserve that" Nuzzling her hair, Eren held her close, gently calming her. Levi was strangely not jealous over the intimate contact. He was proud of his mate for standing up for what he believed in, and helping someone who could help themselves. The woman was absolutely tiny, he doubted she would be any taller than 5ft. Eren must have seemed like a 6 foot tall knight rushing to her rescue "Eren is right. You didn't deserve that. No one does. I'm so proud of you Eren" "You're truly not angry with him?" "No. How could I be?" "He hurt the beta" "If Eren hurt him, it was because it was necessary. He isn't one to jump into a fight and cause havoc just because he can" Eren blushed, flustered as he tried to get his words out "Besides, it's not the first time I've been in a fight. It, uh... it used to be semi regular. I mean, I didn't start them, but I wasn't about to let other people get hurt..." "What he means is, he used to work somewhere not so great, so regularly stood up for his coworkers" "That's so amazing for an omega. Usually no one listens. My alpha's nice, but there are so many out there that aren't" "That's true" Falling into silence, it was awkward. When Viren tugged his arm and less that softly told him he had to go to the toilet, Levi took the chance. With a look to Eren, his omega nodded "I'm going to stay with her until her alpha arrives. You probably need to get back to work" "It's fine. I'm just taking a long lunch, I want to drop you home before going back" "If you need to go..." The woman's frightened expression said it all "No. It's fine. Like I said, I know all the doctors around here. I can get a lift home" Not that he'd ask. His brat would hate to inconvenience them "And like I said, I'll take you home. I'll be back soon" Viren was more distracted by everything going on around them the fact he had to pee. The boy was so hyped up by everything, he ended up peeing on the toilet rather than in. Another thing Levi really didn't feel like dealing with, yet still wiped down the toilet, because he was nice like that. The whole trip had already taken longer than expected, with his son saying hello to everyone both there and on the way back. Eren was waiting patiently just down the hall from the omegas room "Everything ok?" "Yep. Her alpha's just arrived. And even though I've been here way too many times, I decided it would be smarter to wait here for you" "Thank you... after today, I probably would have lost it if I couldn't find you" "That good?" "Pretty much. Want to tell me what happened?" Taking his hand with his bandaged hand, Eren tugged him towards the exit "Ugh. Not if it means it's going to start a fight" "It's not going to start a fight. I just want to make sure you're ok... given what you witnessed" "I was having lunch with Sasha. There's this great cafe down from the studio, when I thought I could hear someone crying out. We were sitting out in the patio area. Sasha didn't seem to notice it, and no one else seemed to either, or they were ignoring it. Then it started getting louder, so I left Viren with her. They were both busy eating anyway. I probably looked like an idiot. Anyways, she was pinned up against the side of the restaurant, trying to get free and everyone was ignoring her. The police brought the alpha in separately, though the EMT's didn't seem too happy about us both being omegas, and having Viren there" So it didn't progress into a sexual assault... thank god for that. For both Eren and the omega "Not everyone. You did really good today" Eren gave him a shy smile, his mate still looking worried "Thanks. I wasn't sure if you'd be mad or not?" "I'm mad at everyone who walked past" "She was terrified. She kept asking him to leave her alone. I might have over done it" "From what I've heard, he had it coming" Pulling him into a one armed hug, Levi smiled at his mate "I'm so fucking proud of you" "It... was really scary" "And you handled it so well. You stayed with her and kept her calm" "I just did what felt right... I thought you might be mad" "No. I know how much omegas enjoy the contact of another omega, and how calming it is for you. You and Marco used to cuddle quite a bit" "I don't know how to explain it. It's like, really soft. Like cuddling into your favourite blanket" "Oh. Do I have to be jealous, after all?" "No. Your cuddles are the best in the world" "Mmm. That's better. He really didn't hit your stomach?" "No. He called me a slut and went to go me. All I cared about was getting him off Sophie" "Her name was Sophie?" "Yeah. I told her you might come by, so she wouldn't be scared. Viren was busy telling her all about you" Levi laughed, squeezing his son's hand as they made their way over to the door that would lead them out to the emergency department waiting room "I thought he was talking about himself" "He started by getting excited when I said "dad" and it snowballed from there" "Is that so?" "Yep. Anyway. Mike gave me an ultrasound to make sure I hadn't been hit, because I didn't remember getting hit in the face. No concussion either. I decked him in the face, and the idiot fell over his own feet. That's when he broke his arm" "Idiot" "Pretty much" Erwin was waiting for them in the waiting room, Viren yelling out of "Uncle Erwin", freeing himself to run over to the man. Levi was still pissed over their earlier spat. Tensing, Eren saw right through him "Did you two have a fight?" "Yeah, but it's fine" "Levi. You don't have that many friends. You can't fight with the ones you do have" "He was just worried about you getting into a fight" "Oh. Yeah. I don't think he and I will ever be the best of friends, but I'm ok with that. We both care about you so much, that we both think we know best" "I know" He wasn't about to tell Eren about the contents of the conversation. Not when his mate was still shaken over what he'd seen and how he'd acted. He could smell both Eren's fear and Sophie's lingering fear. "Everything alright?" Eren nodded, kissing Levi's cheek as he did. Erwin had Viren up in his hold, the four of them moving towards where the ambulance was parked "More than ok. Eren was extremely brave today" "Leeeee. It wasn't that brave" "He saved an omega from being attacked in public. I'm very proud of him" "And everything alright with you, Eren?" "Yep. Just fine. Both pups are fine, and the omega is with her alpha. It's just a few scrapes" "Mike said you were calm and collected, and kept her calm. Even though you broke the alpha's jaw and arm" "He broke his own arm. He tripped over his own feet. And, he was a beta" Mumbling, Eren was acting slightly skittish around Erwin. He didn't like that at all. Nuzzling Eren's back, his omega relaxed into his hold "I'm proud of you" "I know. You can stop saying it" "Nope" "Lee, please. I just want to go home now. I want to take a bath, and watch cartoons with Viren" "I think we can manage that" "Good. Oh, shit. I need to message Sasha. I ditched her at the cafe" "Am I going to meet Sasha?" "Yep. I invited her and Connie to Viren's birthday party" And Levi had remembered to look up trikes online, it was being delivered to Hanji's, along with a shiny red helmet for their son "I think they're really going to like Marco and Jean" "So they're coming?" "They're moving at the end of the month. Jean wants another pup soon, but Marco isn't having it" "He shouldn't have to" "He loves Jean, and he loves being a mum. Oh. He doesn't know I'm pregnant yet. Hanji's been warned that she's not to turn it into a baby shower" "I know. As far as I know, she doesn't have anything planned" "You know Hanji, she always has the best of intentions" "I know..." Guiding Eren into the back of the ambulance, his omega kept an arm around his waist as they sat on the gurney. Viren immediately wanted to play with everything as Erwin stood him up just inside the doorway, while Eren was happy to hide his face against Levi's neck. Taking his son's hand, Levi pulled him up into his lap, sandwiched between his two loves. Closing the door, Erwin headed around to climb up into the driver's seat. Looking back at them, Erwin shrugged at the sight "You three ready?" "Yeah. Viren wants to play with everything" "You're cleaning the mess up" "Don't I always?" * Dropping them at home, Eren was more than happy to be back in his safe place. He felt bad for inconveniencing Levi, and bad for bossing the EMT's around. They were going to take them to another smaller, closer hospital, but Sophie was terrified, and he didn't trust anyone else to handle the scared woman. Letting Viren go running to the sofa, Eren made sure the door was locked, about to text Levi over it, before remembering his phone was dead. He'd had enough of not being able to message his alpha. Like today, he couldn't even message Levi to let him know he was going to lunch with Sasha. He knew Levi wouldn't mind, but he felt the need to keep his mate in the loop given Levi's anxieties. They had a combined appointment with Krista, but that wasn't until after his dance wind up. Exhausted, he wanted to take a bath, but that meant leaving Viren unsupervised. His son would probably crash soon from all the excitement of the day, and a nap did sound great... scooping his son up, Eren nuzzled into his soft hair "Mummy?" "Come take a nap with mummy" "Noooo" "Viren, don't you want cuddles?" "Nooo. I want cartoons" "We'll watch cartoons later baby" "But mum!" "Please Viren, mummy has had a long day" A very long day. His nerves shattered now that he was ok to not be ok. He'd also been dancing with Sasha, and hiding that from Levi. It was hardly anything. Merely walking through the steps of the routine they would be performing, yet he still felt guilty. Hanji had told him to hold off until the start of December, which was only a few more days away... He'd have to tell Levi. Levi would be disappointed, but maybe he would understand. It wasn't as intense as pole dancing "Come on baby" "I want daddy" "Daddy has to work with Uncle Erwin" "But I want daddy" That was when the crying started. Carrying Viren through to their room, he sat him down, only for the boy to fling himself down on the floor, screaming as he dissolved into a tantrum. Instead of letting him cry, he attempted to lift his son, who squarely hit him in his split lip. Jerking back in pain, Eren finally broke down. Starting to cry, he stumbled back, sinking down on the floor sobbing. He'd seen red at Sophie being attacked. Everything has rushed back from when Zeke died, and he'd lost it. He was sure he'd called the man "Bertholdt", as he'd decked him thoughtlessly. Everything was a kind of blur, he'd even scared Viren when he came back bleeding. His son didn't know why mummy was bleeding again, but he didn't like it. Sitting on the floor with his back against Levi's wardrobe, he cried into his hands until two small hands grabbed his. His first instinct was to lash out, until his omega scolded him that it was their son. Gathering Viren into his lap, he rocked the boy. Viren crying just as hard as he did. He loved his son so much, but he hadn't thought about how badly he'd be scared by blood. Sasha had calmed him as they'd waited for the police and the ambulance to arrive, Viren didn't want to go near him at all. Kissing his son hair, he reminded himself he couldn't be like this. He was being selfish by crying in front of his son "I'm sorry baby. Mummy's sorry. Mummy's sorry. I know you want daddy. I know baby boy" Curled into each other, Eren kept rocking Viren until he fell asleep in his arms. Moving his son to his own bed, the omega then ran himself a shower, rather than a bath. With a towel shoved against the bottom of the door, so Viren wouldn't hear, he sobbed himself out. He hadn't even thought about the safety of his pups, and he was so fucking angry at himself for still being haunted by the past. When Levi got home from work, his mate seemed to know he really wasn't ok with a single glance. Striding over to him, Levi pulled him up from the sofa and into his arms. Eren crumbling against him "Bad day?" Eren snorted, nodding as he nosed at Levi's scent. His mate smelt as happy as he felt "Yeah. You?" "Absolutely crap" "Fuck... I'm sorry. When I got home, everything hit me. Viren was crying, and I was crying. But what happened with the rest of your shift?" "People are idiots. How do you feel now?" "Really fucking drained. I made dinner" "Thank you. Have you eaten?" "Not yet. I wanted to have dinner with you" "Sounds good. Let me take a shower, then we can cuddle on the sofa" "That sounds so good..." Neither of them moved, Levi laughing softly when it became apparent neither of them particularly wanted to "Levi. I need to tell you something" "What's up?" "I kind of danced today. Sasha and I walked through the moves to our routine. I'm sorry" "Eren, it's ok. I had the feeling you might, and you know not to push yourself just yet. Did you feel guilty all day because of it?" Eren nodded softly "I know you don't want to yet" "You don't need to feel guilty. We've both had a long day" "I'm sorry" "No, it's ok. Erwin made me pick up a new phone on the way home" "I was going to look them up, but..." "You fell apart. I can smell it" "I called the guy "Bertholdt"" Levi tensed, sighing as he did "Alright. You're coming with me" "What?" "I need a shower, and we both need a hug" "You do kind of smell" "I got vomited on during the first call out of the day, then pissed on with the last" "And you let me hug you" "Don't say I never do anything romantic" "You're an arse" "Mhmm. Come on" Levi was cooperative as they showered. Eren washing his fiancées hair, while Levi kept his forehead against his chest. He loved the grey hairs blending through Levi's neatly trimmed hair. His alpha was just as gorgeous to him as he was the moment Eren had met him. Trading a few small kisses, all their touches were reassuring, with no need to be sexual. He wasn't up for sex. Not after what had happened earlier. When their shower was done, Levi redressed his hand for him, kissing the wound sites and nuzzling into the spots, before disinfecting them. After their shower, they curled up on the sofa. Levi fitting nicely in his hold as they ate, it was a comfortable sort of silence, the TV playing something on the background, that neither of them was paying attention to. Sleepy and warm, he placed his half eaten food on the table, content with holding Levi. He knew his mate hadn't been sleeping well. Forcing himself not to fall asleep until Levi did. They managed a few hours sleep before he woke screaming. Levi sent flying to the floor as he started flailing. Climbing up, his alpha grabbed his shoulders "Eren?!" "I'm ok. Fuck... I'm ok" His chest was heaving as beads of sweat rolled down his face. Rubbing his eyes, Levi hovered until he was ready to sit up. Levi was a sexy kind of disoriented, sitting on the coffee table across from. His hair sticking up, with dried drool in the corner of his mouth "What was it about?" "It wasn't as bad as normal" "It was bad enough for you to scream" "It was weird... you killed Erwin, but he came back. And he had this rubber duck, and was chasing us. I don't really remember the rest, but it was weird" Levi laughed. His alpha threw his head back and laughed. Pouting, he pulled his hands back from Levi's "I'm sorry. But a rubber duck?" "Shut up. I told you it wasn't as bad as normal" "I didn't realise rubber ducks were so scary" "You know what, I was worried about you. I take it all back" "You can't take it back" "Then I'll remember this. And when you least expect it, there will be ducks" "I'm looking forward to it. But you're really ok?" "I'm ok. I had a good cry earlier while Viren was napping. I guess I was still a bit anxious when I went to sleep or something" "Anxious over ducks" "No one gets anxious over ducks" "Come here you, I think we can still get a few more hours sleep" Still pouty at Levi, Eren pushed himself up, surprising Levi by lifting him off the table "What are you doing?" "Carrying you to bed" "You're the one who had the nightmare" "And you're the one who was a dick over ducks. This my revenge" "I thought it was revenge by ducks" "Oh, there will be a great duck reckoning" "Look at you using big words" "You can't blame that on me. You're the one who's taught me how to read and write" "I never thought it would come back to haunt me like this" "You need to set your phone up" "I know. Tomorrow after work, we'll sit down and work it out" "And we need to get you a waterproof case" "That would probably be a good idea. It needs to be toddler proof too" "I don't think anything that's supposed to be toddler proof is" "No... you might be right about that one" Viren had crept into their room while they slept. The boy sleeping in the centre of the bed, out like a starfish. Sitting Levi down, his alpha smiled at their son "Should I move him back to his bed?" "No. You should sleep closer to him. Just in case I freak out again" "Eren, you don't need to be scared of Viren" "I freaked him out pretty badly, I didn't think about how scared he be over me bleeding" "Eren... it was all forgotten by the time we got to the hospital. He was happy" "I hate scaring him. When I started crying today, he was mid tantrum because he didn't want to nap. He climbed into my arms to make me feel better. He's not supposed to do that" "Let's go to bed. It's been a long day" "L-" "Eren, you're a great mum. And a great person. I meant what I said. I was so proud of you for stepping in" "I didn't even think about the safety of the pups" "Is that what's worrying you? The pups?" "I was so angry I forgot about them. It wasn't until Mike wanted to give me an examination that I remembered" "I think you're over thinking it. We've both had a long day" It was easy for Levi to say. He hadn't seen how scared their son was "Please Levi, just sleep next to him" "Alright, as long as you stay" He was planning on bolting back to his old room the first chance he got "Eren, stay. I want you to stay" He couldn't say no to that... "Even if you have another nightmare, I'll be here to protect you from the ducks" Fucking ducks. He should have kept his mouth shut. He was starting to feel anxious about it all... and stupid as fuck. Who the hell had a screaming nightmare over ducks?! "You're so annoying. Go to sleep already" "Then get into bed already" "I'm waiting on you" "And I'm waiting on you" "That's it. I'm going to go sleep in my room" "No. Ok. I won't tease you about it any longer, can you please just come to bed?" "You'll never mention it again" "Not unless you do" "Fine. Move over, I'm getting in" Levi might have promised to never mention it again... but the moment Eren spooned up behind him, his alpha quacked. After that, his desire to fall back to sleep vanished. He stayed in bed with Levi in his arms, but he didn't dare sleep. He didn't want to feel even stupider than he was.

#Riren #ereri #a/b/o #omega Eren #alpha Levi #snk #aot

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burtfacmecon1986-blog · 5 years

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The copper IUD would cause problems for me too, mainly acne again due to the lack of estrogen. I'd rather not have a copper IUD and then have to go on anxiety meds and acne meds. I'd rather just take the pill as it controls all of those issues. Gradually, CVS added services like blood draws or monitoring of chronic conditions such as high blood pressure and diabetes. CVS Health Corp. A clinic visit also can be cheaper than a $100 doctor visit for someone who doesn't have insurance, but they have drawbacks. Training with these fighters can improve him massively instead of training with cans at TAM. ATT would be the best team for Cody. ATT has some of the best strikers and loads of champs and contenders.. I just found out one of my oldest friends had her identity stolen. By her husband. He took out $30k of loans on credit cards. JOHN DICKERSON: We turn now to what's going on here at home, and Republican Senator Tim Scott he joins us from Mount Pleasant, South Carolina. Welcome, Senator. Senator, a number of your republican colleagues, Mike Lee, Steve Daines, Senators from Utah and Montana, have said these allegations about Roy Moore, require him that they have unendorsed him. Waited a bit, coudlnt respawn on my pirate raft bed so I guessing that got chomped. Spawned a bit further out, missioned over to the scene and saw this guy hell demon chewing on the raft, to teach me a lesson I guess. I have a few more stash 충청북도출장샵 spots but really the raft was the main base, it had it all particuraly my recently acquired good loot. We were before day care centres, group homes and disposable nappies. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, 충청북도출장샵 artificial hearts, word processors, or young men wearing earrings. For us "time sharing" meant togetherness, a "chip" was a piece of wood or fried potato, "hardware" meant nuts and bolts, and "software" wasn't a word.. I love your post! I I writing everything down that you suggested because they are all great ideas. I don consider myself a guru, but I do have a channel and what you mentioned gave me a lot of inspiration, so thank you! I tried to film a Nicki minaj Makeup, hair and outfit tutorial 3 times last week because that who I was for Halloween (I fair with blonde hair) but my camera was acting up. I glad to know that I wasn crazy for recreating a celebrity look of someone with a completely different skin tone and hair color lol. Late last year in December, I taken my regular small dose, and I sat down to watch the Rupaul Drag Christmas Special. I hadn exercised that day, was just sitting in a comfy chair when out of the blue, my heart just started RACING. Like, dead sprint in the final lap of a marathon kind of racing.. Course, the older we get, the busier we become with jobs, families, etc. But I do think a large part of friendships dying when we get older is just a lack of communication. If these relationships are important to you, I think it would help if you reach out to these friends when you feel like it.. I bought a pair of those from Onitsuka Tiger because I love that design. Some of the coolest sneakers ever are expensive and highly exclusive, but I don love them because they exclusive, I love them because they have great designs. Every single person on the street could be wearing Yeezy 350s and I wouldn care, it a great design and I appreciate that other people are wearing well designed shoes too.

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sourgrapelaffytaffy · 7 years

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Vidiots

Alas, alas, here’s Mike Teavee’s! The second Drabble in my Wonka au! There’s no doubt in my mind that Mike is my favorite out of the kids, so his situation is much more emotional than Veruca’s. The other kids will come along as ideas pop in my head, as well as a few bonus stuff.

Veruca’s Nutcracker Sweet

“Hey Wonka!” Mike asked, tugging on the man’s coat tails. “If you can send chocolate through television, can you send other things? Like a person?”

“A person?” Wonka paused and looked up, considering the possibility. “I suppose it could, no, of course it could! I wouldn’t like to risk it though. There might be some technical difficulties and-” but the remote had already been snatched from his hand.

“I’m doing it!” Mike ran past the group and over to the giant camera where the chocolate once was.

“No, no, no, no!” cried Wonka, trying to grab Mike before he got any further.

“I’m going to be the first person in the world to travel by television!!” Mike looked absolutely gleeful. There was no stopping him now.

“Michael! Get down from there right now!” Mrs. Teavee demanded, but her son gave her nothing more than a dirty glare.

“Mike, stop, come back.” Wonka sighed, looking almost too tired to do anything else.

“Welcome to the Mike Teavee T.V show!” Mike shouted and slammed his finger onto the activation button.

The machine whirled.

There was a blinding flash.

Then there was silence.

“My god, Wonka!” Mrs. Teavee cried. “He’s gone!”

“No! He’s just all around us in tiny, microscopic pieces!” Wonka grabbed an extra remote and ran to the television. “He should be right on channel 209!” He clicked in the number where the chocolate appeared before and waited. Nothing was on the channel. “Channel 209….channel 209?”

“Where is he?” Charlie asked.

“Interesting…” hummed Wonka, summoning an Oompa-Loompa. “We’ve lost him! Go find more screens!”

“More screens? Oh that’s the last thing my Mikey needs.” Mrs. Teavee groaned, looking as if she might faint.

It’s sort of like he’s floating.

Like he’s been tossed inside a giant pool and he’s suspended within the water. But he can breath, and he’s not wet, so he can’t be in water. Can he? It feels like he’s swimming.

Mike opened his eyes. Maybe he was in the ocean? It was completely blue where he was. But wait. The ocean didn’t have numbers in it. And where he was had thousands of 0s and 1s. Oh wait! He recognized this. It was the coding to Wonka’s computers. He hacked into this before. That stupid machine of his must’ve messed up and sent him to a computer instead.

Well, the internet was way better than television anyway.

Mike reached out his hand, whoa, he would actually touch it. It felt weird. Like shoving your hand into thousands of little marbles. This was cool, he had to admit it, but code was boring, he wanted to go to the internet!

It was like as soon as the thought it, he was there. It felt like his hoodie was grabbed and he was flung somewhere else, the screen of blue spun and blurred into a web browser.

“Wh0@! C001!” Mike paused, was that his voice? That didn’t sound like him. Well, it did, but it sounded like him but a robot. Mike shrugged, thinking it didn’t really matter. No one talked for real on the web, only typed and typed and typed.

And that’s what Mike did. He typed away and began his daily journey of cite after cite. Social media after social media. Out of all of them, Mike thinks he likes Twitter best.

Guess who’s in Wonka’s computer again? #literally #whatajoke

Mike was soon bored of opinions and typing and decided that he wanted to watch something for about five hours straight. The invisible force dragged him away from Twitter and onto YouTube. Perfect! Mike swam up to the recommendations and went to click on something when POP! went an add, and his hand accidentally clicked on it.

Ugh, he hated these, now he had to wait for a whole page to load.

The scene changed and, to his surprise, he was sent to a video titled:

“Teavee Time.”

This was weird.

The video was put onto full screen and Mike was left to watch. The video was of a house, a house in the middle of suburbia, and it look pretty calm and normal. Mike hoped this wasn’t a screamer, he absolutely hated those. Nothing was worse than watching something calm and then suddenly having a panic attack.

There was a different kind of screaming, though. Mike watched a little boy in an over sized orange hoodie was cry and tug on his mother’s dress. Mike couldn’t remember why the boy was crying, but he could take an educated guess from the broken toy truck in his hand.

The boy cried and cried, yanking on the material of the dress. When his mother didn’t respond, he began to shriek and yell. Mike frowned as he watched the scene unfold. Why wouldn’t the mother do anything? She should be trying to do something. Shouldn’t she? But after a minute, the mother set down her wine class and picked up the boy. Good, thought Mike, at least she can fix it for him, or have his father fix it. No, no the boy didn’t have a father. It wasn’t that the father wasn’t in the video, he wasn’t in the house at all. He never was. Mike could just tell.

The mother carried her boy over to the living room and sat him on the coach. She took the toy away, which made him cry even more, but she shushed him and clicked on the television set. Then she left. The boy reached out to her but she had already retreated into the kitchen, ready to mix another drink. Wasn’t she going to watch television with him? The boy wanted her to stay. Mike wanted her to stay.

Suddenly the boy was growing up. He traded his toy cars for controllers and headphones. He learned how things worked and how to hack. The mother stayed in the background for most of this. But soon she tried to get his attention, but why should the boy give her any? She avoided him, so he avoid her. Eventually the boy was about twelve or thirteen and he was shut off from his mother entirely.

Mike didn’t like this show.

Why was he crying? Very slowly, he stuck out a fingerless glove and tried to exist out of the video. He didn’t want to watch this anymore. He didn’t want to watch what was true.

“Mike!”

The boy spun around. What was that?

“Mike! It’s Wonka! We need to get you out of there!”

The scene suddenly changed, his hoodie was yanked and he was thrown into a white room with four walls and no doors. Mike sat up and looked around, he was surrounded by screens, no bigger than he was, screens on every side of him, screens that all had videos of Wonka playing on them.

“W0nk@?” Mike asked, completely confused.

“Mike, you need to get out. Right now.” All the screens spoke at once. “Let’s go, no time for dilly dallying!”

“&ut, which 0ne d0 I-” Mike didn’t know which Wonka was really Wonka. Mike suddenly understood. Horror came to his eyes as he realized:

He didn’t know what was real anymore.

And Mike began to panic. He stood up and spun around, his breath began to quicken with fear. “Wh-which 0ne @re y0u?!”

“Mike! Calm down. Breath, its simple, look for the difference.” said all the Wonkas. “It’s like those picture books in a doctor’s office.”

When was the last time Mike did one of those? He usually just played games on his tablet.

“I d0n’t-I c@n’t te11! Y0u g0tt@ he1p me, W0nk@!” Mike felt completely lost, so completely helpless. He didn’t know what to do! He didn’t know what was real!

“Michael!” His mother soon appeared in all the screens. “You come out of there right now!”

“Think. You’re smart, Mike.” Wonka said, remaining calm. “Use that big brain of yours and determine what’s real. What’s the one thing that wouldn’t change?”

Mike took a deep breath and began looking in a circle. Okay, he could do this, he could do this. He started with Wonka, trying to see if anything was different, but each one had the same outfit. The then went to his mother, same big hair, same silly dress, same shoes, same stupid drink in her hand, same-

Wait.

Didn’t Wonka take that away?

Mike spun around. Only one Mom didn’t have a drink in her hand. That was a surprise.

“M0m!” Mike cried, dashing for the screen, he was sure this was the right one! He was absolutely sure! “M0m!” he suddenly tripped and fell over. Geez, just like a horror movie. He didn’t even fall over anything, it was like his foot just feel asleep. Mike turned to look, and to his horror, his foot was disappearing! It was breaking up into tiny cubes an floating away!

“Wonka, what’s happening to him!?” Mrs. Teavee cried.

“He’s turning into pure code!” Wonka explained. “Mike hurry!”

Mike took no time in obeying, he picked himself up and hopped on his good foot towards the screen. It didn’t take long before he fell over again and his other food began to dissolve as well.

“He1p me!” Mike cried.

“We can’t help you until you get to us!” Wonka called.

With everything he had left, Mike began to crawl. He never wanted to look at another screen again. He just wanted to go home. He wanted to be away from this stupid factory and all that was in it. No prize was worth this. He didn’t want to disappear. He didn’t want to die.

“Charlie, quick! Grab him!”

Suddenly two pairs of hands grabbed him by the shoulders, one large an one small, and Mike was pulled out of the screen. He gasped for air as if he had been under water for too long. Mike was so scared. What if he picked the wrong screen? What if that was all some internet game and he wasn’t back in real life? What if none of this was real? What if he wasn’t safe at all and he just clicked another link?

Wonka must’ve guessed everything that was going through Mike’s head because he was by his side in a quick second. The striped cane was set down on the floor and Wonka grabbed Mike’s hands and pulled them away from his face.

“Mike, look at me.” Wonka demanded in a calm voice. “You’re fine, you’re safe. Everything’s over.”

Mike’s breathing was so fast, one could call it hyperventilating. No, no, this was just another one of Wonka’s stupid tricks. None of this was real.

“Feel the ground.” Wonka set Mike’s hand onto the white floor. “It’s cold, it’s smooth, it’s real. You can’t feel things that aren’t real. My coat,” he placed Mike’s hand on his coat sleeve. “It’s fuzzy, its soft, it’s real.”

Wonka continued this for another minute, he showed Mike that all his limbs were still attached, then asked Mike to name things in the room. Every new exercise seemed to calm Mike’s nerves, and the boy’s breathing slowed to a safe pace.

“I’m-I’m so sorry. I-I didn’t mean-” Mike began.

“It’s not your fault.” Wonka reassured. “Well, the television and internet jumping was your fault, but your love for it was caused by something else. Or lack of something else.” he then turned to Mrs. Teavee, who had her hands over her mouth. Her eyes were pooling.

“Mikey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know. I-I tried to- I didn’t mean…”

Wait, had they seen everything?

“Mom-” You know what? Mike didn’t care. He just really needed his mother to hug him right now. And he stood up, dashed over to his mother and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry too, Mom.”

Wonka stood up and took ahold of his cane, with a sad smile he walked over to the two and placed his hand on Mrs. Teavee’s shoulder. “You’re boy is very smart, but he’s very misguided.”

“I know, I know I was-I am a terrible mother.” Mrs. Teavee nodded, holding Mike close.

“Not entirely.” said Wonka. “You just had a bad start. Now, I assume you and Mike have much to catch up on, you’ve been apart for too long. I’m going to have some of my Oompa-Loompas take you two down to the infirmary, Oompas are wonderful therapists! And you two can talk about your feelings. We’ll pick you up soon.”

“Yes Mr. Wonka, say ‘thank you Mr. Wonka,’ Mike.” said Mrs. Teavee.

“Thank you Mr. Wonka.” Mike nodded, still clinging to his mother. “And I’m-I’m sorry I called you a doofus, and-and a loser.”

“All is forgiven.”

The tour group was split even further as the Teavees went one way, and the Buckets and Wonka went the other.

“Hurry on, we must be going!” Wonka instructed Joe and Charlie. “We’re going to the tallest room in my factory, but first we must climb the latter of light! Here, I’ll turn it on for you!”

#Willy Wonka #Charlie and the Chocolate Factory #my writing #Mike Teavee #charlie bucket

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murraypdavid · 5 years

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

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Love Will Remember

Chapter Thirteen: Feelings

(AN) Trigger warning. Self harm. You’d be notified where it is.

Camila’s POV

“I’m sorry Mrs Jauregui. We’re trying our best here but we can’t perform a miracle. We’ve done all that we can, it’s up to Lauren to wake up. Her condition hasn’t been deteriorating but at the same time, it hasn’t been getting better,” I heard Lauren’s doctor telling her parents when I approached her room but I stopped because I didn’t want to intrude.

Clara seemed so distraught and so did Mike. I can’t even begin to imagine what they were going through. I was a wreck, far less for them. Taylor couldn’t even make herself to see Lauren and its been weeks. They were always so close and I knew Taylor wouldn’t be able to cope seeing Lauren lying on her bed…lifeless.

“Hey Camila,” I jumped because I hadn’t expected anyone to be around given that it was so early in the morning and the girls had classes to attend. When I turned I came face to face with Taylor Jauregui. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you,” she chuckled awkwardly.

“It’s okay, Tay. Don’t you have school to go to?” I asked her and she shrugged.

“I do but I..you know..I wanted to see Lauren. Like actually see her. It’s been so long and I miss her. I should at least try to face my fears and visit her even if it’s just once. She would’ve done it for me,” Taylor sighed looking at her parents who were still in deep conversation with Dr Mahfud.

I rested my hand on her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze. “I’m proud of you, Tay. Lauren would appreciate that.”

She smiled at me and then her parents along with Dr Mahfud approached us. “Hello Camila, you’re here pretty early,” Mr Jauregui commented and I shrugged. It’s not like I have anything to do at the moment. I work on weekends at the diner and had no intentions of heading to the photo studio. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay as can be, I guess,” I sent him a small smile which he returned. I then turned to my girlfriend’s doctor. “How is she doing?”

He sighed. “Like I told the Jaureguis a while ago, she’s not improving but she’s not getting worse. We just have to have some faith that she’d wake up soon.”

“Do you have any idea when she’d wake up?” Taylor asked the doctor and he shook his head ‘no’.

“That just depends on her. But hopefully it happens soon. I’m sorry but I have to go make my rounds. I’d let you know if anything happens. Good day,” he nodded in acknowledgment and walked off.

Mrs Jauregui looked at their younger daughter, “Ready to go, Taylor?” she asked.

“Um is it okay if I stay back a little bit? Mila, can drive me back. If that’s okay with you,” she mumbled and her parents looked at me for an answer.

“Yeah sure, it’s okay with me,” I smiled and they nodded. Clara and Mike gave us both a hug and left for some important work at their company. “So are you ready to go in and visit her?”

Taylor inhaled deeply. “I’m not but this is something I have to do. Wait for me?” I nodded and gave her a reassuring hug. I told her I’d be in the waiting room so she could find me when she’s done. On my way there, I bumped in my doctor; Dr Rexha.

“Hey, Camila. How are you doing?” she asked with her smile that drove me up a wall when I was a patient here. I couldn’t understand how she could always be so happy around pain and misery.

“Hi, Dr Rexha. I’m doing okay. And you?” I responded adjusting my cast. I couldn’t wait until it was time to get out of this.

“I’m great. Thank you. How’s your arm? Any issues with it?” she asked.

“It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt as much anymore but it’s getting there,” I said and she nodded.

She ended up discussing my physical therapy sessions and told me that when it was over, not to put too much pressure on my hand. Apparently we were speaking for quite some time because Taylor approached us. I could see her tearstained cheeks and Dr Rexha decided to leave us alone.

I brought Taylor into the best hug I could’ve given her seeing that I was only restricted to one armed hugs. We stood there for quite a while until she pulled away.

“Are you okay now?” I asked cautiously. I couldn’t imagine just how hard it was for her seeing her sister in such a condition.

She nodded. “I’m okay. Can we go now?” I sensed that Taylor didn’t want to talk about anything so I didn’t want to push her. We exited the hospital and went towards Dinah’s car. She usually loans me it to come visit Lauren. She doesn’t allow anyone to drive her vehicle and I always wondered why she let me.

I pulled out of the hospital and we were driving in silence until Taylor spoke up. “How did you know you had feelings for her?” she asked out of the blue. The question caught me off guard so I looked at her and saw how serious she was.

“Lauren?” I asked and she nodded.

“Yeah. How did you know you had feelings for her? I just need to hear some happy stories about her, so tell me?” That question brought back so many memories for me.

“Well, it started when I was staying with her and the girls. It had been a couple of weeks actually. I always felt different whenever I was around her. The way she used to look at me or smile whenever she saw me. Her actual interest in me whenever she asked how my day was and there usually wasn’t anything to tell but she always seemed so interested. I didn’t even know I had feelings her for until the girls brought it up because I became jealous of her and her friend. I didn’t even know she had liked me all along either,” I chuckled at the memory and shook my head at my obliviousness. Taylor laughed a bit as well.

*Flashback*

“Hey, Camz. Whatcha up to?” Lauren asked pulling up a chair next to me while I was sitting at the island. It had been a few months since I’ve been living with the girls. And needless to say, they all were pretty welcoming. Dinah and I had grown close quickly.

I jumped a bit startled as I hadn’t expected anyone to be up at this hour. Though Lauren always woke up whenever I did. I adjusted my sleeves praying that Lauren didn’t see anything but it was still dark out so I doubt she did. “Nothing really. I couldn’t sleep so I’m just sitting here.” I said looking up at her. Her emerald eyes still shone bright in the dimly lit room.

She kinked an eyebrow, “Ah I can see that and you’re eating my chips as well.” I looked down at the bag in my hand and immediately felt guilty.

“Oh my gosh, Lauren. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…” she cut me with her giggling. The sound alone made me blush and I thanked the heavens that it was dark and she couldn’t see me.

“Chill, Camz. I was kidding. You can have it. I can always steal Dinah’s mangoes whenever I’m hungry,” she smiled.

“I don’t think you want to do that, Dinah will kill you,” I pointed out and she smirked.

“That’s true but I can always blame it on you,” she playfully nudged my shoulder. I tensed a bit. I still hadn’t grown accustomed to her touch or anyone else’s to add. Sometimes I initiated contact with her and sometimes I just couldn’t bear to be touched.

“Hey! That’s mean. You’re mean,” I pouted and crossed my arms like a child, causing Lauren to literally laugh at me.

“Aw you’re so cute,” she said. We engaged in a bit of conversation. Today was supposed to be Lauren’s day off from school and I was happy to spend the day with her. We usually didn’t do much besides talk but it still made me happy.

“So hey, what are you going to do today?” I asked shyly.

She shrugged. “My friend from Riverdale is coming to visit so I thought about spending the day with her. I haven’t seen her in a couple years so I’m really excited.”

I felt a bit saddened by the fact that Lauren wouldn’t be spending the day with me. To say that I wasn’t looking forward to having the green eyed girl to myself would be a lie. But she did seem happy to spend time with her friend and I wasn’t going to ruin that. Her life didn’t revolve around taking care of me.

“That’s great, Laur. I’m happy that you’d be meeting your friend.” I tried to sound enthusiastic but I think I failed miserably.

She smiled. “Thanks, Camz. You’d love her. But she’d be here early so I’m going to get ready, okay?” I nodded and she got up and headed towards her bedroom; the one that we shared.

I went to the living room and started flipping through channels on the television. I eventually found a semi decent show to watch. There was a knock on the door so I got up to see who it was. I assumed it was Lauren’s friend. Whoever she was. When I opened the door, I was greeted to girl around my height clad in a white skinny jeans, a blue shirt and a black denim jacket. She was beautiful. I hadn’t realized I was staring until she let out a laugh.

“Hey, here for Lauren?” I asked awkwardly. And I internally groaned. Great another person to think I’m a freak.

She giggled. “Hi. Yeah I am. My name is Camila. And you are?” she asked with a grin on her face.

“Camila,” I said and she kinked an eyebrow. “Oh my god, my name is Camila too. I’m not repeating what you said,” I said awkwardly and looked down fumbling with my hands.

She laughed again. “Ohh you’re Camila? Lauren told me about you. It’s nice to put a face to the name. You can call me Cammie or Mendes so you don’t get confused.” I nodded. Lauren told her about me? What did she say? I hope it wasn’t anything bad because Lauren doesn’t seem like that type of person but I wouldn’t know.

“Chancho! Let the girl in!” Dinah yelled from behind me snapping me out of my thoughts. I moved aside and allowed her to come in. She must really think I’m weird now.

Dinah and Cammie seemed to be getting along quite well. I wasn’t sure if they had met already but given that Dinah and Lauren grew up together it was possible. Lauren came out of her room not too long after and was soon engulfed into a hug by her friend.

“Mendes! It’s so good to see you again,” Lauren said excitedly as she was released from the hug.

The other girl smiled brightly at her, “Yeah it’s been a while, Laur. How have you been?”

“I’ve been great and by the looks of you, so did you. You’ve gotten hotter,” Lauren complimented the girl and I couldn’t help but feel some sort of way towards it. Jealous? I wasn’t sure. Cammie playfully flipped her hair and laughed.

“Why thank you. You’re not too bad yourself. But are you ready to go?” she asked and Lauren nodded. She picked up her jacket and they both exited the apartment without another word. Lauren didn’t even look my way once or didn’t even tell me goodbye. It hurt a lot more than I thought it would’ve.

“Hey Chanch? You okay?” Dinah asked which caused me to pull my eyes away from the door. I nodded. “I don’t believe you. What’s wrong?”

I sighed and flopped onto the couch. “It’s stupid,” I muttered and Dinah stared at me hoping I’d explain. “Lauren didn’t tell me goodbye.” Dinah was quiet for a moment until her face burst out into a shit eating grin. “What?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

“The SS Camren is setting sail,” Dinah squealed loudly causing Normani and Ally to come out of their rooms to ask what’s wrong. Dinah had filled them in and they all seemed excited.

Was I missing something?

“What’s a Camren?” I asked and Normani scoffed like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s your ship name. Camila + Lauren. Camren,” Normani stated simply. I was still confused.

“What these girls meant, Mila is that you have feelings for Lauren,” Ally stated instead of asking.

I shook my head no. “I don’t have feelings for Lauren. She’s…she’s just a friend. She’s nice to me and I like her but only as a friend. That’s it.”

Dinah objected, “You don’t look at your friend the way Lauren looks at you or the way you look at her. Its…It’s unethical!” She stated with finality.

“Unethical, DJ? Really? They’re not a boss and employee. But they’re right, Mila. You like her,” Normani said and I stood up abruptly. I didn’t like people telling me how I felt or how to feel. Even though for a long time I was told my feelings were invalid. Even if I liked her, the feelings won’t be reciprocated. I walked away and locked myself into Lauren’s room ignoring the shouts from behind me. I went to take a shower to clear my head of what the girls just said. I couldn’t possibly like Lauren. The thoughts kept swimming around in my head even after trying to ignore it.

Whilst in the shower, I heard someone yell out that they were heading to class but I chose to ignore it. After sometime I got out the shower, I stood in front the mirror staring at myself with my towel wrapped securely around my waist.

(A/N) Trigger Warning

“Do you really think Lauren would ever love you?” the voices in my head asked. “She wouldn’t..she couldn’t love someone as worthless as you.”

“Stop it. Please, just stop,” I mumbled weakly. The voices were always right. They would never lie to me.

“She doesn’t love you, Camila. If she did, why would she just abandon you? Why didn’t she tell you goodbye?”

“Because…because she was with her friend…please just leave me alone,” I whispered trying not to cry but I failed.

“You’re worthless; Camila and you don’t deserve love,”

“Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP, PLEASE!” I screamed hoping no one was home to hear me but that usually stopped the voices. By now I was crying uncontrollably. I went to grab the phone Lauren gave me and tried calling her. “Pick up, Lauren. Please pick up,” but there was no answer. So I did the only thing I knew what to do.

***

I was sitting on the bathroom floor in a sweatshirt when I heard the front door open and close. Footsteps were heard getting nearing and nearing to the bedroom door. The handle was turned, and then I heard the jingle of keys and someone turning the handle again.

“Camila?” It was Lauren’s voice.

“Right here, loser,” another voice was heard and then there was Lauren’s giggle.

“Not you, dumbass. Camz? Where are you?” Lauren asked but I didn’t answer. “You can make yourself comfortable on my bed.”

I heard footsteps nearing the bathroom. I didn’t have the energy and strength to hide what I did. So I sat there with my knees to my chest, sobbing, with blood running down my arms to the tiled floor. I heard a gasp but I didn’t have to look up to see who it was because I knew.

“Camz! What the hell did you do?” She rushed to my side and pulled me into a hug not caring if she got any blood on her. This time I didn’t flinch away. “Camz, shh. I’m here. I’m here,” she kept repeating whilst rubbing my back soothingly.

I looked up and pulled away from her, “You weren’t here when I needed you, Lauren. You weren’t. You promised you’d be here and you weren’t!” I yelled but Lauren didn’t bat an eyelash, she didn’t flinch at the tone of my voice.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Wait shit; let me get my first aid kit.” She got up quickly and went to the cabinet above the sink. She pulled my arms towards her and she cleaned my cuts and applied some antiseptic cream. Her eyes grazed over my hands and I knew she realized that not all the cuts were fresh. “I’m sorry, Camz. I should’ve realized sooner. I would’ve been able to help you. I’m so sorry, Camz.”

(AN) Read from here.

When I looked into her eyes, I could see the sincerity in them, her own tears started to fall from her emerald eyes and I reached out my hand to wipe it away. “It’s okay,” I whispered. Lauren grabbed my hand and interlocked our fingers; I didn’t flinch or pull back my hand, I guess I was growing accustomed to her touch or maybe it was just the situation. I didn’t know.

We fell silent mainly because I didn’t know what else to say. I looked down at our hands; Lauren was rubbing her thumb lightly against the back of my hand. When I glanced back up at her, I saw her intently staring at me. She looked as though she was trying to find something, I wasn’t sure but the way she was staring at me made me feel something I only felt around her. l too found myself staring into her piercing green eyes. It felt as though hours were going past but I didn’t seem to mind.

“Can I kiss you?” Lauren asked breaking the silence and I was taken aback by her question. My throat went dry and I wasn’t able to respond so I nodded my head. I dropped my eyes to her lips and I looked by up at her eyes. She was still watching me to see if she could find any sort of hesitance when she didn’t, she started leaning in and I licked my lips. She brought her hands up to cup my cheeks; her lips were ghosting over mine and I could feel her hot breath hitting me. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” she said but I didn’t respond because unknowingly, I wanted this. Then her lips were on mine, they felt so soft and tether against mine; they felt like some magic tether that keep me from sinking under with grief and pain. I started to move my lips against hers and then our lips moulded right into each other, aching for life and comfort. There wasn’t an eruption of butterflies but more of a stampede of wild animals going on inside me. It wasn’t a kiss filled with lust but more of passion and all the emotions that neither of us ever thought to tell each other. We had to pull away because our lungs were screaming for air. When we did, I brought my hands up to my lips. I couldn’t believe that just happened.

Lauren’s chest was rising and falling quickly, her breathing was heavy and she was looking at me with an expression I’ve never seen before. Was it love? I waited for her to say something, anything just to break the silence and she did. “In case you hadn’t realized, I really like you, Camz. I like you so much that it drives me crazy. It’s not something out of pity before you think that. It never will be. I like you for who you are and it’s not some fucked up, worthless person as you always say you are, but this beautiful, caring and intelligent girl who always seems to put a smile on my face. I like you, Camz and its okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted you to know.”

We looked at each other, until a small smile graced my lips. “I..I like you too, Lauren. I guess I did for a while now, but I couldn’t comprehend my feelings until you kissed me. And you have no idea how happy I am right now because I never once expected someone like you to even take a second glance at me far less to reciprocate any sort of feelings towards me. I like you a lot and forgive me but I’m not good with words and I don’t know any sort of feeling besides hatred, disgust and all that so forgive me if I’m slow with all this. Because it’s all just new to me, but I don’t want you to doubt how much I like you. You’re this amazing, talented, kind and beautiful soul and I can’t believe just how much you mean to me. I never thought you would’ve ever meant this much to me.”

I took a deep breath and I saw that Lauren was looking at me adoringly so I continued. “And I’m sorry for being so stupid and getting jealous over Cammie and you. I didn’t mean to, the voices they just…” I was cut off by Lauren’s lips and yet again, I felt the stampede within me. I don’t think I’d ever get accustomed to the feeling of how soft her lips are against mine. Before she pulled away, she placed a quick peck on my lips. She was smiling and I found myself smiling too.

“You talk too much. But I’m sorry for making you feel jealous and for ignoring you earlier on,” I kinked an eyebrow at her, “Dinah,” she said and I nodded in realization. “But I’m really sorry, Camz.”

“It’s okay, I’m sorry too,” I said and she wrapped me into a hug and for the first time in a long time, I actually enjoyed some physical contact without flinching. We were broken away from each other due to 'aww-ing" in the background. When we looked up we were greeted to the girls and Cammie staring at us.

“Took you guys long enough,” they all said in unison. Lauren looked back at me and smiled.

*End of flashback*

“Wow,” Taylor mumbled as we sat on a park bench across from her parents company building. We had been walking around for quite some time talking.

“Wow is right,” I commented. We stayed silence for a moment until Lauren’s sister looked at me.

“She was lucky to have you in her life,” she said genuinely smiling at me. The same smile that my girlfriend had except it wasn’t the one I grew to love.

“No,” I said. “I was lucky to have her.”

*** Find me on Wattpad at Commander_Camren

#UPDATE #trigger warning #camren #angst drama #submission #Love Will Remember

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bitchinlyras · 7 years

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years that have gone, and years that will come - a mileven soulmate au

so this is my contribution to the stranger things big bang! it’s a soulmate au where you are born with the ability to feel the other’s emotions/pain. it was betaed by the wonderful @stardustsantiago (thank you!), and here you can find incredible fanart by the beautiful @raesberri. alternatively, you can read it on ao3. i hope you all enjoy! get ready for some angst ;))

PART ONE: BEFORE

The pain had hardly been bearable before Mike had met her, but after — when she is gone — that is the definition of unbearable.

He had grown up with a constant ache of pain, an ache of panic, of loneliness. Never his, always hers. He’d been sure his soulmate was a her for as long as he could remember, despite knowing that some people could have a soulmate of the same sex, his definitely wasn’t.

His was a her.

He knew the difference between their emotions, he wasn’t really sure how he knew, he just did. One was his, and the other was hers.

When he was young, barely talking, that’s when he first felt the staticky flutters that were her emotions spike and become so vivid and real it was like someone was drilling into his arm, but it wasn’t his arm, it was her arm. But he could feel it, and it felt so real, he’d sat up in bed and screamed at a volume seemingly impossible for a child of his size. Ever since that night, the emotional connection between Mike and her (whoever she was) was strong. He could feel her every emotion, even when her heart just palpitated too fast.

It was unusual to have such a strong connection with your soulmate so young, unless you knew them from a young age, usually your connection with them didn’t become clear until you met them.

———

At age seven, Mike asked his sister (who was twelve, which to a seven-year-old is practically an adult), “Can you feel your soulmate?”

They were sitting on the floor of the living room, close to the TV so they didn’t have to get up off the couch and walk all the way to the TV if they wanted to change the channel.

Nancy shrugged, “Sometimes, but not very often… I’m only twelve, I just probably haven’t met him yet, I’ve got loads of time.”

A sudden terrifying question found its way into Mike’s mind, “What if you never meet your soulmate?”

Nancy glanced back into the kitchen — her mother inside it, cooking dinner for the whole family — and thought of her parents. “Some people never do, so they marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons because that’s easier than to continue to search for the right person.”

Mike sat there in shock of what his sister had said. What If he never found her?

“Now, scram,” Nancy said, shoving him lightly, “I’m trying to watch something.” She turned up the volume knob on the TV and Mike reluctantly left the room.

He walked up to his own room and shut his eyes hard. I’ll meet you, he thought, and he hoped she could hear him.

———

At age eight, he began watching the girls in school, not in a creepy way, just to see if their faces matched the emotions he could feel — they never did. He took out a book on the science of soulmates, which wasn’t very helpful. No one really seemed to have any solid answers to about how they worked, something to do with atoms and stardust, which to an eight-year-old (even one who read at a ninth grade level) sounded ridiculous.

———

At some point during the autumn of 1980, he found himself alone in the kitchen with his mother, helping her bake some muffins for Nancy’s bake sale (or something along those lines, he hadn’t really been paying attention). He watched his mother as she carefully filled up the patty pans, somehow managing to get every single one exactly even, which baffled him.

“Mom?”

“Hmm?” She doesn’t look up.

“How do you know when you’ve met your soulmate?”

Karen almost dropped the bowl of mixture. “You’re a bit young to be thinking about that, aren’t you, Mike?” She replied, after a moment.

Mike pulled himself up onto the kitchen counter. “I was just wondering, because what if I just see them in the street and then never again? How will I know it was them?”

Karen put down the bowl of mixture and looked at her tiny son sitting there on the kitchen bench, his legs barely dangling over the edge he was so small. He was young, too young to be worrying about things like this.

“Michael, one day, you’re going to meet a girl, who will be different from any other girl you’ve ever met, because she will be the girl meant for you. And maybe you won’t know right away, but it won’t take you long to work out, you’re a smart kid.”

Mike thought about what his mother said for a moment, it made sense, then he nodded and hopped down from the bench, leaving the kitchen.

“Michael!” Karen called out after him. “Do you want to lick out the bowl or not?”

Mike hurried back to the kitchen.

———

Sometimes the pain, sadness, scared or loneliness (or a melancholy mix of all four) was too great. Mike would lie on his bed and focus on his breathing and heart rate. He’d be able to feel her heart, as if beating next to his, and attempt to sync them.

“One day, when we meet,” he’d whisper, staring at the ceiling, “I’ll make you feel happy and safe. I promise.”

Somewhere, not too far away, a scared girl was sitting with her knees drawn up to chest all alone in a dark room. Every part of her hurt, but she could feel an emotion that wasn’t hers, and if she knew the word for it, she’d call it empathy.

———

In late 1982, and throughout ‘83, Mike began to get terrible headaches and often felt he was getting a nosebleed when he wasn’t. He was placed on numerous medications as the headaches were interfering with school, but nothing worked, because they weren’t his, they were hers. They weren’t just normal ones either, they were monster headaches, so Mike came to the conclusion that they were being caused by someone. The amount of fear and pain she felt had to be because of someone. Adults didn’t listen when he told them the reasons behind the headaches, not even the doctor believed him, because having that strong of a connection just didn’t happen.

One night, after nursing a particular painful headache, Mike laid in his bed. There had to be a reason for him being able to feel her so strongly, it had to be a sign of something, but of what?

At that exact moment, he felt sudden rush of fear and panic. He sat up in bed, his own heart race quickening.

Save her.

He had to save her.

———

He spent many days during the summer of 1983 biking to neighbouring towns and searching for her. Of course, he was too nervous to go up and talk to any girls around his age, so he watched them from afar, trying to picture how someone who has lived with fear and anger for so long would look. He was not successful, all the girls he saw looked (and sounded) too happy, and if there was one thing his soulmate had never felt, it was happiness.

Operation Save His Soulmate wasn’t going perfectly to plan, because it was impossible to save anyone if you didn’t know who or where they were.

It had occurred to him that maybe she was on the other side of the world, in some far off place like Australia or Russia, but something — instinct, or maybe just hope — told him that she had to be close. That had to be one of the reasons he could feel her so strongly. So when her emotions were running exceptionally high, he’d run outside and shut his eyes. He’d try to block out noise and thoughts, and focus solely on her emotions, in a hope that they would direct him, like a needle of a compass.

It didn’t work, he’d often find himself walking into the forest, and then the emotions would die down, from flames to embers, and they would no longer direct him. One time, they led him all the way to Hawkins Energy Lab; he’d stared at the place through its fence — it seemed to leer over him, its grey, prison like building was anything but welcoming, and definitely not the sort of place a twelve-year-old girl. He sighed and walked home.

Operation Save His Soulmate wasn’t going to plan at all.

———

November the Sixth, 1983. He’ll remember that date for as long as he lives, the day when everything began. He could feel something was different, and he should’ve realised that something was about to change. Maybe that way, he could’ve saved Will and the others from a whole lot of pain. He and the rest of the boys were into their eighth hour of the campaign, when he felt it — her panic, fear, her heart racing at the speed of light. She was screaming, he knew that because he could actually hear her, which was a first. Over the years, he had gotten good at compartmentalising her emotions — she’d been feeling anxious all day, but he’d managed to ignore it — but this? This was too much.

He pressed his hands over his ears to try and block out her screams, but it wasn’t working, the screams were inside his head; he crouched down, his eyes shut tight as his own heart began to beat into overdrive.

He was vaguely aware of the other boys crowding around him. “Mike? Mike! Are you okay? What’s wrong, Mike?!”

He didn’t reply, he couldn’t, he was too scared that if he did he’d vomit. He had no idea what was going on, whatever was going, she was scared it was going to kill her, and he was scared it would kill him too.

Suddenly finding the ability to control his own limbs again, he raced up the basement stairs, and dashed into the bathroom. He lent over the toilet, and wretched into it.

He sat there, slumped against the wall, trying to control his breathing. The screaming had stopped, but the fear and panic was just as evident.

But there was a new emotion, something mixed into the fear and the panic — excitement.

“Mike?” It was Lucas, knocking on the bathroom door. “Are you okay?”

Mike stood up slowly. “Y-yeah, I think so,”

He unlocked and opened the door, a concerned Lucas stood in front of him.

“Just one of my headaches, I’m okay now,”

Lucas didn’t look like he believed him.

“I think I might just have had food poisoning or something, as well,” Mike added, seeing Lucas’ sceptical expression.

“You sure you’re alright? Because we can get your mom—”

“No, not my mom. I’m fine, let’s just keep playing,” Mike walked past Lucas and headed for the basement. Lucas watched him for a moment, something was wrong, and Mike wasn’t telling him. It frustrated Lucas, because above all, all he wanted was to help his friends. He sighed, and followed Mike down to the basement.

Not too far away, a girl was running through a forest; her bare feet hardly touching the ground she was running so fast. She was free, for the first time in forever, and adrenaline was coursing through her veins. She ran into the night, away from her captors and towards her soulmate.

———

Mike awoke the next morning to a day like any other, except for one difference (he would soon discover that everything was different, but that’s for later), he felt — or rather, she felt — anticipation, an emotion he’d never known her to feel.

Anticipation when he woke up, curiosity as he got dressed, exhilaration as he ate breakfast, and anticipation once again as he brushed his teeth.

However, all care for his soulmate’s new emotions dissolved when Chief Hopper told them Will was missing; that’s when he realised everything was different.

Dustin and Lucas were babbling about Mirkwood; Mike sat in the middle, annoyed at the two of them, but mostly shocked — things like this just didn’t happen in Hawkins.

In a voice so deep and stern that they couldn’t help but be intimidated by him, Chief Hopper told them not to interfere, to go home, and not to do any detective work, despite their many protests.

“What are we going to do?” Mike asked the second they were out of earshot of Hopper.

“You heard the chief,” Lucas said.

“So we’re just going to do nothing?” Mike asked incredulously.

“No, that’s not what I meant,” Lucas replied.

“We can’t really do anything big,” Dustin said to the two of them, “Did you hear Hopper? He sounded like he’d kill us if we don’t do what he said!”

“Hopper wouldn’t do that,” Mike protested.

Dustin rolled his eyes. “It’s called a figure of speech, Mike.”

Yet that night they found themselves out in the forest by Mirkwood, the rain thundering down.

Out there, in that same forest, she was there also.

The darkness was almost oppressive, and the forest for the first time in their lives felt small, as if the darkness was closing in on them.

The rain continued to pour down, the drops like bullets against the ground; a crack of thunder echoed suddenly through the trees.

The further they searched, the harder the rain came down, the darker it got, and the more helpless the whole situation began to feel.

It was Dustin who voiced his concerns first, “Guys, I really think we should turn back!”

Lucas fired back with a retort, which was Mike’s signal to tune himself out.

He could hear something… or rather he could hear someone.

Less than ten feet away, a girl was crouched in a bush, her heart racing as she watched the boys in front of her; her eyes fell on one of the boys, and she couldn’t say what it was about him, but a part of her was drawn to him, and before she knew what she was doing, she had rushed out of the bushes and was standing there in plain sight, waiting for them to see her.

They spun around, and she winced in the sudden beam of light from their torches, but there she stood, chest heaving, rooted to the spot; terrified.

Mike stared at the figure in the torch light, and it took him a second to process that she wasn’t boy, but a girl with a shaved head.

He stared at her, but it wasn’t the strangeness that made him stare, the shaved head, the large yellow Benny’s Burger shirt, or the fact that she was out in a forest in a storm in the middle of the night, there was just something about her, that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

“Hello?!” Lucas said loudly to the girl, stepping towards her; bringing Mike back to reality.

The girl stepped away from Lucas, scared and unsure.

“We’re looking for our friend, have you seen him?” Lucas asked slowly and deliberately.

She didn’t reply, looking wildly at the other two boys, her eyes finding Mike’s.

He could see her emotions in them.

She was scared. She needed help.

He was so preoccupied in his own thoughts and own goings-ons that he didn’t put the fact that what his soulmate was feeling and what the strange girl was feeling were the same, together.

“Maybe she doesn’t speak English,” Mike offered.

“Or maybe she’s one of those savage children who are raised by wolves,” Dustin said in awe.

“I really highly doubt that, Dustin,” Mike replied.

“Look, whoever she is, she isn’t Will, which is who we need to find.” Lucas said firmly. “Let’s keep looking,”

“No,” Mike found himself saying, “we should go back, Dustin was right, it could be dangerous, and plus we’re not going to find him in these conditions, and —” he looked over at the girl “— she’s lost, we should help her.”

“We set out to find Will, and that’s what we’ll do!” Lucas responded stubbornly.

“We’re not going to find him like this, Lucas!” he gestured haphazardly to their surroundings. “Let’s go back to mine and figure out what to do there.”

“C’mon, Lucas, we’ll go tomorrow after school,” Dustin suggested.

Lucas sighed, he knew when he’d lost an argument, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. “Okay, we’ll go,” he began to trudge off in the wrong direction.

“Uhh, Lucas?” Dustin called after him.

“Yeah?”

“It’s the other way.”

“Oh…” Lucas turned around and walked quickly in the correct direction this time, Dustin following after him.

Mike glanced at the girl. “Are you okay?”

No reply.

“Do you want to come with us?”

No reply.

“Are you cold?”

No reply.

“Here, you can have my jacket,”

No reply.

Mike shrugged off the jacket and approached the girl carefully, she took a step back, her eyes wide and fearful. He held the jacket out, she hesitated, before taking it and draping it over her shoulders. She nodded a thank you to Mike, a small smile ghosting her face.

“Mike!” Dustin called out. “Hurry!”

“Come with me,” Mike said to the girl, “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

He began to walk, slowly, so she’d know to follow.

She watched him, and after a moment — for a reason unbeknownst to even herself — she followed him.

———

Lucas rolled his eyes when he saw Mike emerge from the forest, the girl following him.

“We don’t know anything about her, this is a bad idea,” he said, as if the others were idiots.

“We know she’s scared and lost,” Mike argued, getting onto his bike.

Lucas sighed dramatically, but didn’t reply otherwise, as he hopped onto his bike.

Mike looked back at the girl, who was standing beside his bike looking lost and confused. Mike patted the back of the bike. “Sit here.”

She stared at him, her eyes wide, as if she’d never seen a bicycle; Dustin and Lucas both exchanged looks.

Mike patted the back of the bike again, and she took a tentative step forward before swinging her leg over the end of the bike, she grabbed ahold of Mike’s waist (so tightly that he could feel her fingers digging into his skin through his clothes) to pull herself up.

“Yeah, just like that,” he said encouragingly.

“She good?” Dustin called out, gesturing to the girl with his head.

“Yeah, I think,” Mike replied, turning his head to look at her, but her expression was just the same as before: wild, desperate, lost.

The boys began to peddle, and Mike heard the girl inhale sharply, and her hands tighten even more around him.

“It’s okay!” he said to her, his words carried away with the wind. “It’s okay!”

She didn’t reply.

———

“Eleven,” she murmured, pointing at herself.

None of the strangeness of the fact that she had a tattoo and a number for a name really processed in Mike’s mind; maybe that’s just what having your best friend go missing does though, everything else, no matter how odd, just seems pointless to fret over.

They’re in his basement and she’s sitting in a fort he constructed for her.

“Well my name’s Mike, short for Michael. Maybe we can call you El for short,” he suggested, kneeling in front of her.

Eleven nodded quickly, and Mike felt a sudden stroke an emotion that was almost like happiness, but not quite, come from his soulmate.

“Well… goodnight El,” he said to her, standing up.

She looked up at him, her large brown eyes shining in thanks. “Night, Mike,”

He smiled at her before he dropped the edge of the blanket down, and it fell down over the fort, hiding El from the world.

El listened to Mike’s footsteps as he climbed the stairs out of the basement; she heard the door at the top shut and she began to cry, and no amount of joy at the fact that the nice boy had given her a letter name, rather than a number name, could stop the tears. She was overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last 24 hours — the bath, the monster, escaping, Benny, killing the two men, running and hiding, and finally being found by Mike.

She cried until it hurt, and she let out 12 years of pain with those tears; outside, the sky was crying too.

Upstairs Mike lay in his bed, unable to sleep; all he could think about was the strange girl in the basement (the strangeness of her was beginning to hit him); then he began to feel the pain of his soulmate. She was crying somewhere, he could tell, and he suddenly found tears on his own cheeks; he began to cry harder, not just because of what she was feeling, but because his friend was missing and he had no idea where he was or how to help him.

Downstairs, Eleven began to cry harder, as a sudden wave of helplessness that did not belong to her washed over her.

———

PART TWO: DURING

He looked over the edge of the cliff, at the still blue-black water, and tried to block out the cries of Dustin, Troy, and James.

He breathed in deeply.

This is how it ends.

He couldn’t let them hurt Dustin, he had to jump.

He might be okay, maybe.

He wondered where El was. He hoped she knew he was sorry.

He wondered how Will was. He hoped he was okay, he hoped they’d find him.

Breathing in deeply, he jumped, and he was falling, and it was both the strangest and most terrifying feeling he’d ever experienced.

Not far away, Eleven felt it too, this infinite helplessness, and her breath caught in her throat. With anger coursing through her veins, she stopped Mike mid-fall, and she felt his shock and bewilderment as she lifted him back into the air and onto the cliff.

Mike, shaken from his jump and rescue, suddenly felt the power of a storm inside of him, and he looked up, and there she was.

Eleven. A storm in a girl. Anger and power in human form.

And it hit him as she pushed James back with her mind and broke Troy’s arm, it was her. She was his soulmate.

“Go,” she growled, and her voice held such power, such command that Mike doubted there was a soul alive that wouldn’t fear her in that moment.

Troy and James ran, and Dustin chased after them, yelling gleefully.

Mike felt it before he saw it: she was weakening. She fell, and he ran to her.

“El,” he murmured, taking one of her hands in his.

He’d been drawn to her from the start, this strange girl that he;d found in the woods, but the tenderness he felt for her in that moment was indescribable.

Tears filled her eyes and her lips trembled. “I opened it.” she confessed, and the fear she felt that Mike would hate her, physically pained him. “I’m the monster.”

Mike smiled, wondering how she couldn’t see how amazing she was. “No.” he said firmly. “No, El, you’re not the monster. You saved me. Do you understand? You saved me.”

Gently, he pulled her up into a hug, wrapping his arms around her tightly. He felt he soften and relax almost immediately. Dustin joined them, wrapping his arms around both of them, and the three stayed like that for a long time, holding each other, warming each other.

———

PART THREE: AFTER

All at once, the flashing of the lights and the screaming of El and the monster stopped, leaving the boys in a room filled with a sudden eerie silence.

The pain had stopped too, the pain that had been so great that Mike thought his heart was going to be ripped from his chest with it.

Mike looked up, his eyes searching for El through the tears.

She wasn’t there.

Mike stood up quickly, “El! EL!” he called desperately. “ELEVEN!”

Dustin and Lucas called for her too, but Mike could barely hear their cries. He was trying to focus, to find El’s emotions, but the part of his heart he constantly felt her was empty for the first time in years.

“No,” he whispered to himself, his eyes shut tight. “El, where are you?”

“Mike,” he heard Lucas murmur, and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Mike’s eyes snapped open, and he jerked Lucas off. “No!” he shouted fiercely, tears running down his cheeks. “No!” he repeated louder. “We have to find her!”

“Mike,” Dustin choked, “please, Mike,”

Mike looked from Lucas to Dustin wildly, at their upset faces, before shutting his eyes once more, and searching for El’s emotions with a hopeless desperation.

Nothing.

Mike opened his eyes to see Lucas and Dustin both staring back at him, concerned, and he broke.

“She’s gone,” he sobbed, and he felt as if the world was splitting down the middle and he was falling endlessly through it.

Dustin rushed to hug Mike, practically crushing him in an embrace; Mike felt himself sob uncontrollably. “She… I can’t,” he choked, “I can’t feel her anymore. I can always feel her, and now I can’t.”

Lucas walked over and wrapped his arms around the pair of them. He and Dustin exchanged a look of anguish, as their friend cried his heart out between them.

———

He couldn’t sleep that night, he lay awake, his eyes open, staring at the ceiling. Mike couldn’t describe the incredible emptiness he felt now that she was gone, like a part of him had died with her.

But that was the thing.

It had, because that’s what soulmates were: a part of you.

And she was gone, dead.

He’d promised to keep her safe, to make her happy all those years ago, and he’d failed.

Mike shut his eyes, and felt the tears well up in them.

“I’m sorry, El,” he whispered to the darkness, his voice trembling.

He opened his eyes and the tears rolled down the side of his face. “I’m so sorry,” he rolled over onto his side, and shut his eyes tight, begging for sleep.

———

He must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because he woke up the next morning determined not to think or cry about El at all that day. Will was alive, and he was supposed to be happy, and he hated himself for not being happy. What kind of friend was he?

He sat up slowly, his body aching. He felt old, as if he’d aged 8 years rather than 8 days since all of this had started. With heavy steps, he walked to the bathroom and stared at himself in the mirror above the sink; his eyes were red and puffy from crying last night, and the rest of his face was so pale in contrast.

He splashed his face with water and shut his eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

Don’t think about her, don’t. Think about Will.

And then he felt it — a spark, a heartbeat that didn’t belong to him.

He opened his eyes and stared back at himself in the mirror, a grin spreading slowly across himself face.

She’s alive.

———

He practically raced to the hospital after wolfing down down his breakfast so fast he almost choked.

“Lucas! Dustin!” he shouted into his SuperCom as he pedalled to the hospital. “Get to the hospital! Now! Over!”

He burst into Will’s room, half expecting for Lucas and Dustin to be there already — they weren’t, just Joyce, snoozing in a chair in the corner. She practically jumped through the roof at the sound of Mike entering.

“Wha— What…” she looked around, disoriented.

“Oh, sorry,” Mike apologised, but Joyce didn’t seem to process this.

“Will! Will,” she got up and walked over to Will, lying in the bed.

Will, who’d been reading a book, but it down and smiled at his mom, as she stroked Will’s hair.

“You’re here, you’re here,” she whispered, her eyes filling up with tears, and Mike felt as if he was watching something private, and looked away.

“I’m here, Mom,” Will murmured, and she nodded, a single tear falling down her cheek.

Wiping her eyes, she looked up at Mike. “Hi, Mike,” she said, and Will grinned broadly at him.

“Hi.”

“You’re here early,” Joyce commented, as Mike perched himself on the end of Will’s bed. “I suppose you and the other boys will spending a lot of time here,”

Mike nodded, but his mind wasn’t on what Joyce was saying, it was on what El was feeling — cold, alone, scared.

“And Mike,” Joyce said to him, sensing that he wasn’t entirely there. Mike looked up at her. “I’m sorry about Eleven, I wish I could thank her for what she did for me,”

“Thanks,” Mike gulped, and Joyce smiled kindly at him.

The other boys arrived within the next ten minutes; like Mike, they entered loudly and breathlessly.

“Mike!” Lucas gasped. “What is it?”

Mike glanced quickly at Joyce and shook his head. “Later.”

It wasn’t until two hours later, when the boys were finally left alone.

“Okay, Mike, tell us what’s up,” Dustin said immediately.

“What do you mean?” Will asked, looking from Dustin to Mike.

Dustin shrugged. “We don’t know, Mike was acting like something had happened earlier,”

All three of the boys were looking at Mike now, who much to their amazement, was grinning from ear to ear.

“El’s alive.”

There was a pause as the boys processed this, and Dustin was the one who broke who the silence. “What? How do you know?”

But before Mike could even begin to answer, all three of them were bombarding him with questions.

“What?”

“How?”

“Where is she?”

“How do you know?”

“Then what happened to her?”

“I can feel her!” Mike blurted out, once he there was a gap in their questions. “I can feel her,” he repeated, and they stared at him, eyes wide.

“What do you mean?” Will asked, confused.

“El’s his soulmate,” Lucas told Will in a playful tone, and Mike felt his cheeks redden.

“Whoa,” Will looked at Mike, “really?”

Mike coughed loudly. “Uh, yeah,”

“If you can feel her now, why couldn’t you feel her before, when she disappeared?” Dustin asked.

Mike shrugged. “I dunno, killing the Demogorgon would’ve taken all the strength out of her, she must’ve been unconscious.”

“So what do we do? Should we tell the Chief?” Lucas suggested cautiously.

“I… I don’t know,” Mike replied honestly.

“He helped us last time,” Dustin commented.

“Yeah, but only after we had worked everything out,” Mike pointed out, “so I figure, we should work it all out, and then tell the Chief.”

Lucas nodded in agreement. “How do we know where El is though?” he asked; all heads turned to Mike again, and he gulped.

“I think—” his eyes met Will’s “—I think she’s in the Upside Down.”

———

And so began Operation Save His Soulmate 2.0. Every spare moment the boys got over the next week was spent discussing ideas and plans — mostly at the hospital with Will — with the adults under the pretence that they were planning a rather excessive campaign for Dungeon’s and Dragon’s.

The only problem was that they only way into the Upside Down was through the gate, and no matter what they schemed up, none of it seemed plausible enough to actually get them in and out Hawkins’ Energy unnoticed.

But still they soldiered on, drawing maps and pouring over library books about the history of Hawkin’s Energy, amongst other things, in the hopes of finding a secret tunnel (“Top secret military bases always have secret tunnels!” Dustin had insisted). Mike and Will had even managed to worm some information out of their siblings about the Demogorgon, in case that would give them a clue on how to get in.

Mike, however, felt an urgency that the others did not; it was hard to do nothing but research when he could every single emotion that was running like electricity through El, and they were never good, always fear, isolation and helplessness, and has the week wore on, Mike began to find himself feeling helpless too. Yet he knew he couldn’t give up, he’d promised her. He’d promised he’d save her all those years ago, and he;d praised that they’d go to the Snow Ball together, and he was not going to let either of those promises be broken.

———

Their breakthrough didn’t come till just over a week since Will’s return. It was his first day back home, and the boys were sitting in a circle in his living room, various books, notes and diagrams spread out in front of them.

“All I’m saying,” Lucas said in a hushed whisper, not wanting Joyce to overhear, “is that El had to have gotten out of the lab somehow, and that’s how we’ll get in.”

It was the same thing he’d been saying for days now, and Mike countered it with the same thing he’d also been saying for days now. “She’d just opened the gate though, the whole place was probably in chaos, it wouldn’t have been hard for her just to slip out unnoticed.”

“By using a secret tunnel,” Lucas retorted.

“We’ve searched the perimeter of the lab, we couldn’t find anything.” It was true, Dustin, Lucas, and Mike had spent a couple of hours riding around Hawkins’ Energy a few days ago with the hope of finding a clue, but they discovered nothing except the fact that the lab had somehow upped their already extensive security, making it impossible to sneak in there at all.

“But what if the tunnel doesn’t come out till later? Like somewhere in the forest?”

It was the first time he’d made this point, and the boys were silent for a moment.

As usual, it was Dustin who broke it, “It would take days to search the whole of the forest for a secret tunnel,” he said practically.

“But what of it’s our only way in, and our only way to save El?” Mike piped up.

The boys all shared glances, “Then I guess we have to do it,” Dustin murmured. “If only El could use her powers to communicate with us,” he added as an afterthought, but less than a split second after he said this Mike felt a shock of energy run through him, and the phone began to ring loudly and shrilly.

Will stood up to answer it, but Joyce, who’d been in the kitchen, go to it first.

“Hello?” she said into it; there was a pause before she repeated herself, louder as if the person on the other end couldn’t hear her or wasn’t replying.

Will looked around at all the boys, his eyes wide. “I used the phone,” he breathed, “when I was in the Upside Down, I used it to talk to mom.”

All four of them madly rushed over to Joyce and the phone, gathering around her.

“Mom, I think it might be for us,” Will said, “a— a friend from school,”

But Joyce looked disturbed, “It’s a child, they’re just breathing, Will,” her eyes were quickly filling with tears, memories of when it had been Will on the other end coming back to her. Then, as if something had startled her, she jumped and dropped the phone. Mike grabbed for the swinging phone, “Eleven?!” he called desperately into it, his own eyes beginning to tear up.

He felt hope burst from his chest, her hope.

“Mike?” whispered the voice on the other end, and a tear trickled down his cheek, and it was no longer just her hope he was feeling, but his too.

“El, we’re coming, okay, we’re gonna get you out of there, I promise.”

Hope and happiness blossomed through them both. “Promise,” she whispered, her voice wavering ever so slightly.

Mike gulped to stop himself from crying. “Of course, El,”

But before she could reply, a bolt of electricity rushed through the phone so sharply that Mike dropped it in surprise; it hung upside down, swinging pointlessly, as he grabbed for it again. “El?!”

No reply.

He looked at the yellow phone, it was fried, blackened, well and truly dead.

His hands shaking, and his vision blurring with tears, he hung the phone up, and he looked at the others, who he realised had been staring at him the whole time.

“It stopped working,” he choked, and Joyce scooped him up into a motherly hug, and Mike cried softly into her for a few moments, before letting go, clearing his throat loudly and wiping his eyes, feeling embarrassed.

Dustin and Lucas were looking at him with pity, but Will wasn’t looking at him at all. He was looking from the boarded up hole in the wall to the alphabet on the wall to the phone, a broad grin spreading across his face.

Everyone was staring at him now, and he finally turned back to them, grinning still. “I’ve just had an idea,” he announced triumphantly.

The other three boys glanced at each other, before looking back at Will. “What is it?” Lucas asked.

“When the Demogorgon got me, it might’ve come through the gate, but it didn’t take me back through it. We were in the shed one minute and the next we were in the Upside Down.” Will paused, before looking up at Joyce and asking her, “You saw it come through the wall, right?”

“The- the monster, yeah,” Joyce stammered, looking bewildered.

“So did Jonathan,” Will commented.

“So?” Lucas asked, confused.

“So maybe we don’t need to go through the gate to find Eleven — the Demogorgon could create, like, temporary gates, what if El could do that?” Will explained with enthusiasm; the other boys nodded, beginning to understand his idea. “And we could do it here,” he continued, “because our house is so close to the gate, and the Demogorgon has come through here so many times, I think it means that…” Will trailed off, struggling to find the words.

“That the veil between the two worlds is thinner here,” Dustin finished for him.

“Yeah, exactly!” Will grinned.

“The more the dimensions are crossed, the thinner the veil between the two of them gets, in that spot, until you use it too much,” Dustin paused, frowning.

“And then what happens, Dustin?” Lucas asked with concern.

Dustin gritted his teeth. “And then it opens, permanently.”

“Like the gate,” Lucas murmured.

“Yeah, that Eleven opened,” Dustin replied quietly.

They all looked at each other for a moment.

“We have to risk it,” Mike said firmly, and his eyes seemed to dare them to argue with them; they all nodded solemnly.

“Mom?” Will murmured to Joyce, who had been looking wildly between the boys.

She looked down at her son. “Yeah?”`

“Could we do that?”

“Is it to help save Eleven?” She asked.

Will nodded. “Yeah.”

“Then explain to me whatever it is you’re doing, and let’s do it.”

———

Over the next few hours, all their old plans and ideas were completely scrapped, and a new one was revised. The only problem was that their plan seemed to solely consist of Eleven creating a temporary gate, and getting herself out, despite the fact they had no proper way to communicate with El and convey this to her.

“We could try use the lights, like Mom did with me,” Will suggested.

Mike nodded, turning to Joyce. “Okay, what do I?”

“Just talk,” she said, “talk and hope she hears you,”

Taking a deep breath, Mike stood up and faced the black alphabet on the wall.

“El?” he called loudly. “Eleven?” he could feel his heart beating in his head and his palms felt sweaty and his mouth suddenly dry. “Are you there?”

He waited a moment.

No response.

“Flash the lights once for yes, twice for no,” he added, as he realised he had no clue if El could read or write.

No response.

“El?” he called again, and his voice shook slightly.

He shut his eyes and breathed in deep, searching for her in his heart.

Nothing.

He could feel nothing, and he wanted to scream.

But it wasn different, he wasn’t feeling an empty void, but rather a blocked one, like she was somehow stopping him from feeling her emotions.

“Mike?” And it was like Will was calling him from far away rather than a couple of feet next to him.

He opened his eyes. “Can you feel her?” Will asked softly, walking up to him, and gently tugging on his sleeves.

Mike shook his head, and held back his tears. “No,” he breathed, and he saw the boys exchange looks.

“Mike, honey,” Joyce whispered, “we can do this another day.”

Mike shook his head vehemently. “It’s, it’s like she’s blocking me or something, like she doesn’t want me to feel her,”

“Maybe she’s scared that she’ll open another permanent gate,” Dustin suggested carefully.

“Then why’d she call?” Mike asked, and nobody replied.

They were all lost for ideas, and remained still for seconds, maybe minutes, standing, and sitting, just existing.

Dustin, the serial silence breaker, spoke first. “Why don’t we just call her?”

His suggestion, so wildly simple, took the others a moment to process. “Call her?” Lucas asked. “How?”

“By calling the number from this house to this house,” he shrugged, as if it was obvious.

It sounded stupid for a moment, but that was the magic of Dustin, to be able to solve the most complicated of problems with the most painfully simple solutions.

Joyce looked at the boys. “Well, I guess we’ll need a new phone then.”

———

Mike glanced over at the others, then back at the phone; his heart pounding as he dialed the Byers’ number into their phone.

It rang, and rang; Mike stood there, his left leg jiggling and his right hand anxiously twisting the cord; all of sense seemed hypervigilant, as if not being to sense Eleven had made him able to sense everything else so much more.

“Please pick up,” he murmured so quietly he could barely hear himself.

The phone stopped ringing; there was silence.

“El?” he breathed.

“Mike,” came her delicate reply.

“Eleven! We know how to get you out!” he told her excitedly, “We just need you to—”

“Mike,” she interrupted, and her voice trembled, but there was a firmness and seriousness to it that made him stop speaking. “I know what you’re going to say,” she said quietly, “I’ve been listening.”

“And you can do it?” he asked hopefully.

Silence.

“No,” she finally responded.

“No, El, you can, I know you can. I’ve seen what you can do it, and you can do this. I know it will hurt, El, I know, but,” he paused here and glanced back at the others, before edging away from them and dropping his voice, “we’ll be together again El, we can go to the Snow Ball, like we promised.”

She didn’t reply straight away, but he could tell she was crying, and it occurred to him that he could feel her again; she was no longer blocking him.

“Mike,” she finally responded, “there’s something outside, like the Demogorgon but worse. If I try to open a gate… it could come through.

“Worse than the Demogorgon?” His chest felt hollow with shock, and he heard the others exchange whispers.

“Yes,”

“How long has it been outside the house?”

“Since I last talked to you, I think it sensed my powers,” El told him quietly.

“El, you can’t stay there, you’re in danger!” He said hotly. “You have to come back, we can fight it, together.”

“Fight what?” Dustin asked, sounding slightly scared.

“Mike, it could kill us all,”

“It won’t. We’ll fight it. We’ll run. Together.”

“Mike…” she whispered, unsure.

“Nothing bad will happen. Promise.” he told her firmly.

“You can’t promise this. You can’t know,”

“El, please, you have to come back.” His voice broke on the last word and he once again blinked back tears — he seemed to be crying a lot lately.

“Mike,” Joyce came from behind him, and he turned around to face her, “put me on the phone.”

Mike handed it to her without protest, and stood back with the boys; Dustin reached out and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly. “She’ll come back,” he said to Mike, and Mike gave him a smile, before turning his eyes back on Joyce.

“El, honey, you can do this, okay? You are the bravest person I’ve ever met, did I tell you that?”

At those words Mike felt something in his chest that El had never felt before — that feeling one gets after bringing complimented, a mixture of pride and modestly, happiness and embarrassment — one of the world’s greatest feelings.

“Whatever monster is there with you, it won’t get you here. The second you get here, I’ll drive you far away from it, and you won’t have to fight it or think about it. Grown ups will take of it, because that’s what grown ups or supposed to do — protect children, and I know grown ups haven’t protected you before, darling, but they will now. You just have to come here, and let us help you, let me help you. I owe you so much.” Joyce’s voice throbbed with emotion, each word weighed down with it.

Joyce was silent as El replied to her and Mike searched her emotions for what she she might be saying.

She was scared, which really could be a yes or a no.

“Whenever you’re ready, honey. You can do this.” Joyce said tenderly into the phone, and Mike’s heart leapt. She was coming.

Joyce hung up the phones and turned to the boys.

“Well?” Will asked, as if the temptation was killing him.

“She’s coming,” Joyce told them, “she’ll come through any moment now; everyone be ready to run to the car, okay?”

The boys all nodded silently. They all stood in the Byers’ living room, unsure of where to look and how long they’d be waiting.

Mike felt other emotions quickly mix in with the fear — anticipation, anxiety, hope.

She was getting ready.

The lights began to flash wildly, and they looked around desperately for Eleven. A dark void-like hole was beginning to form on the wall with the alphabet, and with it a feeling inside Mike’s chest as if his heart was being stretched like a rubber band. He clutched at his chest as the rubber band was stretched tighter and tighter, and felt as if it would snap at any moment. He shut his eyes to block out the dizzying array of lights but the colours still flashed before him as his chest grew ever tighter and the hole ever wider.

Then the screaming began.

It was the same scream from way back when they’d been playing Dungeons and Dragons, before Will had gone missing and they’d found Eleven. It was the same scream from when she’d first opened the gate, except this time it wasn’t only in Mike’s head — they could all hear it, and it was the sword of sounds, so piercing it sounded as if it would slice them in two.

They crouched together at the edge of the living room, their hands over their ears, as a wind picked up and the lights above them began to shake. A shadowy figure appeared in the dark hole, their mouth open in a scream.

And as suddenly as the chaos of the wind and screaming and light and the void hole had started, it stopped; the rubber band in Mike’s chest snapped and he let out a howl as pain coursed through his body like electricity, and Eleven tumbled out of the hole. She let out a whimper and lay on the floor, her knees drawn up to her chest, and began to sob, her pain pouring out.

Mike stumbled over to her, his body trembling with her pain, whilst the others looked at what the void hole had become, and exchanged fearful looks with each other.

“El,” Mike whispered, curling his fingers around hers, and caressing the back of her hand gently with his thumb.

“Mike,” she sobbed, and she weakly squeezed his hand. She had blood around her nose and her ears, and Mike realised his own nose was bloody.

“You did it,” he smiled, tears blossoming in eyes, “and I am so proud of you. So proud.”

She gave him the weakest of smiles through her tears, blood, and pain, and they both felt a small spark of hope shine in their hearts — their own, and each others.

“Mike,” Dustin said, interrupting the two, and with a shaking finger he pointed at the hole, “look.”

Mike looked up at the hole and gulped. A large, jagged hole that reached from the top of the wall to the bottom had replaced the void hole, and it revealed the bedroom behind it — but it was different. Colder, darker, covered in vines, and fleshy webs. It was the Upside Down, and a deep rumbling was coming from it.

“Boys, you need to go get in the car,” Joyce told them, attempting to keep her voice steady.

“But Mom—” Will tried, but Joyce gave him a look, and he shut his mouth, beckoning Lucas and Dustin to follow him to the car.

Joyce quickly scooped Eleven up in her arms. “You’re such a brave girl,” she whispered to her, as they walked out to the car, Mike trotting along beside them, “That was amazing, what you did.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on El’s face. “Thank you,” she breathed quietly; Joyce’s eyes sparkled with tears and she smiled.

Mike hopped into the back of the car with Lucas, and Dustin — Will was in the front — and Joyce lay El across their laps, placing her head gently on Mike’s lap. El reached blindly out for Mike’s hand; he took her her hand in his and he felt her relax almost instantly. Using his other hand he began to gently wipe away the semi-crusty blood on her face with his t-shirt.

Joyce sat in the driver’s seat, her fingers wrapped so tightly around the steering wheel that her knuckles were white; her eyes were glued to the house, waiting for some sort of movement.

A high-pitched noise echoed from the house — a roar, not a scream. It was not a noise made in fear or pain, but rather a noise made in blood-curdling anger. A noise of a predator. A monster.

Then all at once, the entire house caved in on itself, and the only thing left standing was the wall with the hole. They all stared, shocked, as a the outline of a large shadowy figure appeared in the cloud of dust from the collapsed house.

“Holy shit!” yelled Dustin, and his voice seemed to lift the paralysing fear off everyone; Joyce put the car in reverse, slammed her foot on the pedal, and they shot backwards at an alarming rate.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” Dustin cried, as Joyce spun the car around, and drove away from her ruined home as fast as possible.

Dustin, Lucas, and Will all turned in their seats, to stare at the horror they were leaving behind; Mike shut his eyes and concentrated on his and El’s synchronised heart beats, and the feel of her hand in his.

It’s going to be okay, each beat said. It’s going to be okay, it’s going to be okay.

———

One Month Later

Mike fiddled nervously with his tie as he sat on the couch waiting for the others to arrive. Lucas arrived first, and Mike fiddled with his tie.

“Mike, relax, you’re just taking El,” Lucas told him.

“You don’t get it,” Mike huffed.

“Yeah, I know,” laughed Lucas, “you’re gonna—” and then he proceeded to make kissing noises at Mike.

Mike shoved him lightly away. “Shut up!” He told Lucas, his face glowing the deep red that only an embarrassed twelve-year-old could achieve.

Dustin arrived, and Mike fiddled with his tie.

“Mike, you gotta stop, you’re undoing the knot,” Dustin said to him.

Mike let his hands fall to his sides, but continued to move his fingers distractedly.

“He’s worried about—” Lucas made more kissing noises; Dustin laughed, and Mike flushed the red of before.

“You’ll be fine, Mike,” Dustin said with a shrug. “El adores you.”

“Yeah, she’s your soulmate,” Lucas added, less teasingly and more matter-of-factly.

Soulmate. This idea that you were put on this Earth to be with one person. An idea he’d been chasing for as long as he could remember. You’d think the whole destiny and meant-to-be-together bit would help make everything easier, or at least less awkward and nerve wracking. Now that everything was safe — or at least seemed it — he often felt awkward around El; it was strange being placed in a normal adolescent situation with her after everything that had happened, and it had all only ended two weeks ago, but it seemed like a lifetime ago.

The doorbell rang and woke Mike from his thoughts.

“Ted! That’ll be them!” Karen called from the kitchen. “Get the car ready!”

Ted replied with a humpf, and Lucas and Dustin made kissy noises at Mike. Mike went to answer the door, swatting Lucas and Dustin away as if they were flies.

“Hi Will! Hey Mrs Byers,” Mike greeted them brightly, and then his eyes fell on El. “H—hey El,” he said, his voice faltering slightly.

Her hair had grown enough in the past 6 weeks for El to use a headband; she had a simple black one in her hair, and she was wearing a satiny pale purple dress.

El smiled gently and her deep brown eyes sparkled. “Hi Mike,” she said in her soft voice, and she felt his heart flutter. He loved the way she said his name, the way she emphasised the ‘k’. It never failed to make him feel jittery and happy.

“You look… really pretty.” he said, surprised how it easy it was to tell her that.

He’d never seen her smile so wide, she was beaming, and light shone from her eyes. “Thank you,” she murmured.

“Hi Mike!” Will said loudly, a cheeky smirk on his face.

Mike tore his eyes quickly away from El and felt his face go red again — he had a feeling it would be doing that a lot tonight.

“H-hi Will,” he stammered.

Will smiled knowingly, before turning to his mom. “See ya, Mom,” he said.

“Bye, Joyce,” El said.

Joyce gave both Will and El a hug. “You both look wonderful,” she said, giving El a quick kiss on the crown of her head. “Bye, Mike, tell your mom I say,” Joyce said to him, before leaving.

“Okay,” Ted called from the living room. “Everybody ready?”

The five of them piled into the car and Ted drove them to the school, which had been decorated with tacky silver snowflakes on the outside.

The inside of the gym was even worse. Uneven blue and white streamers hung limply from the ceiling, along with a large disco ball, and the walls were completely plastered in the same snowflakes from outside; a huge sign, which had obviously been written by the students themselves, said ‘SNOW BALL’ in block letters had been half-coloured in with white paint, but they must’ve run out of paint, because the rest was clearly done with white-out, and the whole thing was drowning in silver glitter, but it made Mike smile. What better way to start El’s normal life than a tacky school dance?

Mike watched El as she looked around at the gym in amazement, the reflection of the silver snowflakes and the disco ball sparkling in her eyes like stars.

“C’mon, let’s go get some food,” Dustin said, motioning them over to the snack table.

“Do you ever think about anything other than eating?” Lucas asked as he and Will followed him, leaving Mike and El alone.

“Sometimes I think about sleeping,” Dustin replied.

El turned to Mike. “This place is really pretty,” she said genuinely.

He laughed nervously. “That’s one word for it.”

“This is the same place,” she said suddenly, looking around.

“What do you mean?”

“Where we made the bath.”

“Yeah, yeah it is.”

“It looks different.”

Mike looked her and smiled. “That’s what happens, I guess,” he replied after a moment, lost for words.

“I guess,” she breathed, her eyes still holding the stars.

The music, which was boppy, was nothing like the slow, romantic music Mike had been imagining would be playing, and he knew this was a perfect moment to ask El to dance, if the music was actually something one could dance to and not just jump up and down ridiculously to.

They joined the others by the food, and spent the next 20 minutes or so semi-mocking some of the kids who were ‘dancing’ to the music. El, much to Mike’s delight, was laughing, and even joined in on the mock jumping.

The lighting softened and the music slowed down, and Dustin said loudly, “Lucas! Will! We need to go over there for a reason!” before dragging them off to another corner of the gym.

Mike cleared his throat loudly. “Do you wanna dance?” he asked, hoping he didn’t sound as awkward as he felt.

El smiled. “Yes, Mike,”

He held out a hand and she took it, and together they walked away from the dark walls onto the gently lit dance floor, when a thought suddenly hit him. “Wait, El, do you know how to dance?”

El smiled mysteriously at him, and placed his hands on her hips and her hands on his shoulders.

Mike smiled, once again amazed by the girl before him. “You do know how to dance.”

“Joyce and Jonathan have been teaching me,” she told him, as they began to dance slowly. “I like it, I like music.”

“You’re… you’re really good,” Mike told her.

“Thank you,”

They danced a few moments in silence, both marvelling in the fact that, after everything, they were at the Snow Ball, together.

“Mike,” El said after a moment, “can I ask you something?”

“Anything, you know that El,” he replied, looking into her eyes.

“Why can I… feel you?” she asked carefully.

“Feel me?”

“What you feel? I can feel it to.” she explained.

“Oh, do you… do you know what a Soulmate is?”

El shook her head.

“It’s like this person… who you have a special connection, an emotional connection with.”

“And you’re that person to me?” she asked.

He nodded. “And you’re that person to me.”

She smiled. “I like that,”

He smiled too, widely. “I like that too.”

A warmth that was both their own and the other’s, blossomed through them, and it would remain with them for the many years of their long life, together.

that was incredibly long, so if you made it through, i applaud you! i hope you enjoyed it :)

#st big bang #stranger things #mike wheeler #eleven #jane ives #mileven #m11ke #mike x eleven #mike x el #stranger things fanfiction #mileven fanfiction #dustin henderson #joyce byers #lucas sinclair #will byers #mywriting

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dammitadolfnomorecake · 5 years

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COTW 10 - Start

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pogueman · 7 years

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Trint: A new service that transcribes recordings instantly and cheaply

yahoo

We, the modern people, are tickled with our phones’ voice-recognition powers. We can ask questions! We can open apps with our voice!

You know who’s not so tickled? Anyone who records other people talking. Our phones are terrible at transcribing voices—converting them to text that we can edit.

I realize that most people don’t care about transcribing audio. But if you’re a reporter, producer, editor, author, YouTuber, filmmaker, student, documentarian, researcher, government agency, doctor, lawyer, or police officer, for example, you might really care. Manual transcription of audio and video files is an excruciating, tedious, soul-sucking exercise, and we’ve doing it pretty much the same way for 50 years.

The world waits for a method that’s fast, cheap, and accurate. We want this:

The holy grail of transcription tools. Unattainable.

But you can’t have that.

Until now, there have been only a few ways to convert a recording into text:

Transcribe it manually. You do the typing yourself as you listen. Hit Play, Stop, Rewind, Play, Stop, Rewind, over and over. That’s accurate and cheap, but not fast. It’s a royal pain, especially if you have several long interviews to do.

Transcribe it manually, with web assistance. This Chrome extension combines an audio player and a text editor, so at least you’re spared some of the back-and-forth between two apps as you type it out yourself. Still tedious.

Let your phone transcribe it. Yeah, play the recording into your phone, as though you’re speaking to it. The results are terrible. There’s no punctuation, no paragraph breaks, and the result needs so much editing, you could have done the job yourself faster. Fast and cheap, but not accurate. (Same thing for the automatic transcription features of YouTube and Google Docs. The results are generally a mess.)

Hire a web-based service to do it. Services like Rev.com, Scribie.com, Transcribeme.com, and VoiceBase.com employ human transcriptionists to type out your audio. Usually, they charge between $1 and $3 per minute of recorded audio or video—more if you want same-day turnaround, and even more if you want the transcriber to add time codes, the names of who’s speaking, and the little “ums” and false starts. Bottom line, you’re looking at $60 to $150 per hour of audio. Accurate, but not fast or cheap.

Hire a professional service. Professional news channels hire professional transcription services like Transcript Associates, Audio Transcription Center, or Professional Transcriptions. You get incredible quality—flawless transcriptions; “ums” and “uhhs” and dashes representing pauses; time codes typed in; the speakers’ names identified. And you get it in a matter of hours. But we’re talking $220 per hour of audio, or more. Accurate and fairly fast, but not what you’d call cheap.

No method gives you everything.

This is a review of a new, fifth approach: Trint.com. (The name, we’re told, is a combo of “transcript” and “interview.”) It lands on a new point in that speed-cost-accuracy continuum by (a) automating the conversion instead of hiring humans, and (b) providing a slick, easy way for you to breeze through the results and correct the errors.

“The idea is to take the very best of automated speech recognition [ASR] and push it as far as it will go, then give the user a simple tool to get those last yards,” Trint founder Jeffrey Kofman told me. “By combining a text editor with an audio/video player, we let you quickly search, verify, and correct the output of our ASR.”

The cost is $15 per hour of video—about a quarter of the cost of even the cheapest human web-based services.

How it works

You sign up. You upload your audio or video file. You pay in advance: $15 for an hour of converted audio or video. (If you’re willing to commit to doing a lot of this, the cost comes down to $12 an hour.)

You wait maybe five minutes—an insanely short time—and then it’s done. You open the transcription right there in your browser, looking like this:

Now the fun begins: Cleaning up the Trint transcription.

Already, what you get is good enough that you can search for words or highlight the good parts.

But while the system correctly detects sentences and adds periods, it adds no other punctuation. It makes no attempt to add commas, for example. So you wind up with phrases like “I went to you know the store and bought peaches plums and pickles.” No question marks, either.

Now you read through it, correcting the errors, adding punctuation and paragraph breaks, and identifying speaker names using a pop-up menu. The video above shows what this process is like.

What’s kind of wonderful is how the audio or video playback is integrated with the editing: Wherever you click your mouse, that bit plays back automatically. There’s no Play, Pause, Rewind cycle here; the system always knows what to play when. (You can turn this playback on or off with a keystroke, and also control the playback speed.)

So how long does this cleanup process work? I tried Trint on seven interviews, and the editing generally wound up equaling the length of the interview. Thirty-minute interview, 30 minutes to clean it up.

That will never fly in the professional world. CBS News won’t be using Trint any time soon. But doing the job yourself would take five to ten times the length of the original recording. And if you hired a professional service, you’d pay four to eight times as much.

(For many people, of course, a full cleanup isn’t necessary; often, the point of transcribing an interview is just to skim it to find the good parts. That’s where Trint really shines. It’s simple to read or search for text in a transcript, highlight the juicy parts, and even play back only the highlighted portions. In that case, you can clean up only those few bits.)

How does it compare?

To compare the results, I submitted the same interview recording to Trint, to Rev.com ($1 a minute for 24-hour turnaround), and to a high-end pro service. Here’s what I got back:

Transcriptions compared.

It’s in beta

There are some bugs left to squash in Trint. For example, copy and paste don’t work in the text editor. (I was editing an interview that contained the word GISHWHES over and over again, a non-word that Trint never once transcribed correctly. I thought I could just paste it in over and over again, but no joy.) The company explains that if you went nuts, pasting in blobs of text, you’d throw off the software’s underlying links between the audio and the text.

Chrome extensions can trip up Trint, too. Every time I inserted a Return to break up a paragraph, some text would disappear. Turning off all my extensions fixed that.

You should also keep in mind that Trint requires clean, clear audio, in which your subject was miked. You can’t feed it the echoey recording of your kid’s school play, for example, and expect decent results. And, as you’d guess, thick accents dramatically impair the accuracy. (When you post the recording, you specify which accent the speaker has; that helps.)

The company acknowledges that it has some work to do, and says that it has big plans for Trint 2.0 this summer.

In the meantime, Trint is here now. It’s not this—

—but it’s this:

—and that’s a new spot on the time-cost-accuracy spectrum. It’s therefore a welcome new weapon in the fight against the costly, time-consuming, soul-sucking act of transcribing the human voice.