#well Killer IS there if you pay attention 👀

[kotikaleo]

Fluffynight killer week DAY 1

Song inspiration

WEIUQCGHPIDQIQERNBOC HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

I am sooooooo proud of this one you can't even imagine! But enough of excitement, let me tell you more about this piece and the story and my plans for this week.

So I decided to tell a story that me and my good friend @viralay roleplayed over the years. I will reveal so parts of past and presend over the next seven days, but also do not get tooo hyped - I will be DEFINETLY NOT ABLE to make such grand pieces for next days qwq

ANYWAY!

It all started with Nightmares depression. In this universe he was the first one to feel The Balance, and he realized the importance and the weight of his actions. But Dream refused to listen, being to young and bold, and still hoping to get his little brother back, time and time again refusing Nightmare and not accepting him for who he is now. Not feeling any connections to anyone and also feeling guilt for who he is, his past and present actions, and inability to change anything, Nightmare fell into depression and one day started to crash into Ccino's cafe. At first he just stayed there for a cup of black as his soul coffee but then he started to stay for longer and one night he just... stayed. For a night. And then slowly their relationship started. At first unclear, weird and maybe even one-sided, but later they both were happy.

To be continued~

Fluffynightkiller Week by @help-im-a-gay-fish

Ccino by black-nyanko

Nightmare & Dream by jokublog

Killer by rahafwabas / rahaf-wabas / rahofy-sketch

The song:

The song suggested by Vira btw

[eddiemunsons-missingnipple]

eddie teaching you how to play DBD but you keep dying so you get angry and quit so he tries to make you feel better by… (you can fill in the blank bestie) 🤭

👀 so niche but also right up my alley.

Modern!Eddie munson x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut, oral (female receiving.)

A/n: short blurb for a moot. Not proofread.

18+ minors dni

"Im gonna get hooked!" You shouted at the TV screen next to your boyfriend who's currently watching you play Dead by daylight.

"Baby, you saw him coming you should have ran."

"Don't victim blame Edward." You snapped back. Your fingers going a mile a minute on the joy cons.

Eddie had been begging you to play dead by daylight for months now. It was currently his favorite game to play at the moment. You've been watching him on the game more and more recently figured if you learned this could be another way to spend quality time together.

Usually, you were off on your switch playing animal crossing while he was busy screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Yeah, well, I gotta fix the generator!" You argued, trying to wiggle out of the killers grip. "I don't understand why there are skill checks on the gens."

"Cus' they can't make it but so easy." Eddie said as he struggled to hide a laugh.

You shoot him a dirty look as you grow more and more frustrated. "Welp, I'm dead....AGAIN!"

"Jus' calm down" Eddie watched in amusement. He knows you're about two seconds away from exploding.

"Whatever, this game is stupid. I never should have let you talk me into playing it." You pouted, throwing the gaming controller in his lap. You were a sore loser and always have been.

Sounds of terror and a pained scream from your now dead character fill the silence. The more you heard her scream, the more upset you got. You didn't want to just win. You wanted to impress your boyfriend and show him you could keep up. What makes it worse is that the game isn't even complex. You just suck at it. Never mind, this is your first time playing it.

"Sweetheart." Eddie calls to you.

"Leave me alone." Your face is twisted in a scowl staring a head at the TV screen. Your character running in a field signifying you infact did not survive another round.

Eddie is trying his best not to smile. He really is. He reaches over to take your hand, but you snatch away and scoot further down the couch.

"Alright." He announces with a long sigh.

You watch him stand with the gaming controller in hand. He doesn't like the attitude you're giving him, and you know it. You wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't punish you later for it. Not that you don't deserve you because you do. You've been mouthy at him for hours now.

"Ya know any other time when you get an attitude like that I'd fuck it right out of you." Eddie squints, making you squirm.

He bends down, so he's at eye level with you."But my baby is very, very upset right now."

Eddie gets down on his knees in front of you. Gripping your hips and yanks you down, so your ass is almost hanging off the cushions.

"So here's what we're gonna do. You're gonna relax and keep practicing, and I'm going lick that pretty pussy until you feel all better." He smiled, slowly taking your pajama shorts and panties off. He tosses both of your legs over his shoulders you gasped when you felt his nose nudge at your clit.

"O-okay," you murmured.

Eddie smiles up at you. "Good girl now pay attention to the game and if you don't I won't let you cum."

You nodded rapidly, letting out a shakey breath. A small whimper escaped your mouth when his soft lips wrapped around your aching clit. Your hands are becoming clamy as you wait for the new match to begin.

"Mmhmm oh Eddie." You whispered.

He removed his mouth from your clit. His tongue pushes in your wet opening. Your slick getting all over his face. The slight stubble on his chin tickling your pussy. You almost dropped the controller on his head when you felt his tongue push in deeper.

Your eyes close for a moment, and you almost got again by the killer right when the game started. He heard the familiar sound on the tv and stopped. His tongue disappearing from inside you, leaving you feeling empty.

Eddie looks up at you, a little disappointed. "Focus honey, you' wanna cum dont you?"

"M'sorry....I-I do so bad." You whined.

"Then be my good girl and do what I asked." He spoke softly.

Reattaching his lips back to your clit and sucking hard. Your legs involuntarily squeeze around his head. You moan out his name over and over again as if it were a chant as your eyes stayed glued to the screen. Eddie lapped and sucked at your sore bud.

You focused hard on the game, trying to ignore your boyfriend who is currently between your legs with no intention of leaving anytime soon. The more his mouth worked on your pussy you felt yourself becoming more at ease. The game was getting less stressful than it was earlier.

That familiar coil in your belly tightens, and you know your release is creeping up on you.

Eddie comes up for air, his face saturated in your slick and his own spit. "You win yet?"

"A-almost." You breathed heavy.

He smiles against you proud that his little plan is working.

"You gettin' close, aren't ya baby?" Eddie cooed.

You nod and focused back on the game. Not looking down at him once.

Eddie bites his lip and goes back to what he was busy doing.

You finally won for the first time that night and many more nights after. Your boyfriends plan worked out in your favor after all. Thank God for that now you won't feel like you're a drag to play with.

This ended becoming a regular thing between the two of you. When Eddie noticed you losing focus or getting very upset. He'd sit you on his cock or bury his face between your legs. It was a good strategy.

Some nights, you and him completely disregarded the game as a whole if he got too caught up in the moment. Other times you'd return the favor and sit between his legs with his cock stuffed in your throat. Now, all you need to do is convince Eddie to play animal crossing with you.

[copingwithobsessions]

Billy is autistic ♾

Just me rambling about an headcanon I take wayyyy too seriously :)

Hyperfixation : horror movies (obviously)

He just keeps talking about it. All the time.

Like

Also him using his hands while talking in this scene

(There's also something to be said about him mentioning the queer actors and not the 'straight' characters but that will be for another post-)

Also in the phone call where we're sure it's him :

(If he was the one calling Casey then there's even more-)

Also him just constantly talking with movie-related things : "It was edited for TV- all the good stuff was cut out", "nice solid R rating, on our way to a NC-17", "lately we're just sort of edited for television", "Maybe your movie-freaked mind lost it's reality button","It's all a movie, it's all...one great big movie.Only you can't pick your genre","I think she wants a motive","I don't really believe in motive, Sid.", "See it's a lot scarier when there's no motive Sid", "Is that motive enough for you ?", "How's that for a motive ?", "Just pretend it's all a scary movie Sid...How do you think it's gonna end ?", "Perfect ending.", "Now Sid, don't you blame the movies. Movies don't create psychos, movies make psychos more creative !" and basing his killing spree on horror movie tropes : phone calls, masked killer, virgins being the final girls (literally having sex with Sidney to fulfill the trope), 'no motive' etc...

2. Abnormal posture

3. Staring (last 2 photos, both scenes in Sidney's room, police station scene...basically when there's Sid) or excessive blinking (doorway scene, kitchen scene...(basically when there's Stu)

4. Plans and changements

Billy (and Stu) planned their entire killing spree (from the dates it would be on : surrounding the one year anniversary of Maureen's death, to the person they would frame and his supposed motive as well as Casey and Steve's murders with the phone call, the attack at Sidney's house, Billy's incarceration, Stu's phone call following it, Billy's fake death, kidnapping Neil before his flight and using his phone, hiding his car, using a voice changer, stabbing each other to seem like victims, the party etc...)

When Billy's (and Stu's) plans get changed (Dewey, Gale and Kenny being present, Sid escaping the kitchen with her dad and Stu losing too much blood), Billy panics and goes into what could be defined as a meldown : throwing out insults, walking in circles, never going to check on the first floor, destroying Stu's living room and just panicking all around-

(When he fails getting Sidney to trust him and makes her escape to the toilets, he punches himself in frustation)

5. Insociability

Basically doesn't talk in the fountain scene

Awkward and Unsettling while talking, even to his friends

Doesn't pay attention to girls being interested in him

Doesn't seem at ease with the number of people leaving the party

(Even fidgeting though that may be just be him checking that the people are leaving for real)

6. Overdramatic

7. Favorite person/people

Okay this one's not that common in autistics but for Billy, he definitely has a special person, two in fact :

He literally started killing because his mom "moved out and abandoned" him.

For Stu, I will be vague cause I'll talk about it in detail in the other post 👀but basically he's not really himself unless Stu's there and planned a killing spree where only they would survive (+ trusted him to stab him).

Bonus : If Billy is the one who called Casey

"I only eat popcorn at the movies" Well I'm getting ready to watch a video "Really what ?" Oh, just some scary movie "You like scary movies ?" Huhuh "What's your favorite scary movie ?" Hum- I don't know... "You have to have a favorite, what comes to mind ?" Hum...Halloween ! You know the one with the guy in the white mask who walks around and stalks babysitters. "Yeah." What's yours ? "Guess." Hum- Nightmare on Elm Street ! "Isn't that the one where the guy had knives for fingers ?" Yeah, Freddy Krueger. "Freddy, that's right. I liked that movie.It was scary." Well the first one was but the rest sucked."

"It's an easy category : movie trivia"

"Come on, it's your favorite scary movie, remember ? He had a white mask, he stalked the babysitters"

"Then you should know Jason's mother, Mrs Vorhees, was the original killer ! Jason didn't show up until the sequel."

And that's it ! A complete analysis of what could be considered autistic traits from Billy that got way too long-

[mrs-monaghan]

Hi! I love your blog and what you say, I had read so much of your answers to anons, so, what are in your op the reasons why jikook are probably dating - what made you believe in them? And in your op after the military service will they be even more braver in showing their affection? (P.s sorry if I made errors eng is not my first language sorry sorry)

I am African. English isn't my first or 2nd language so u get no judgement from me. 😁

Okay story time

I first discovered BTS in 2015. I was just perusing on YT when I came across Boy in luv and I thought RM was so fucking hot. I’m a sucker for a goodlooking man (who isn’t?) And Boy in luv RM was fire to me 😂😂

i tell that to my Jikook friends and they keep laughing at me but at the time he was, okay? I can hear you laughing. Shut up! He owned that song

He was hot. Leave me alone 😒

And I am obsessed with this hairstyle so there’s also that. (When Jikook had this undercut 🤤) Also I am again obsessed with dimples. My fiance, it’s his dimples that attracted me to him. I kid u not. He he hee...

Anyhu, BIL RM was hot to young me and so I was watching that MV like daily. Then YT recommended BST and I  thought Jimin was pretty but I didn’t really stick around much. I just downloaded BIL and went about my life. Then last year I was on my Tiktok and BTS were at an award show and I saw who I now know is V vibing to Idol in his chair. And I was like; I know them. I wonder how Mr. Dimples is doing 🤭

I also really liked that song because it sounded kinda African and I immediately latched onto the Nikki remix coz I’m a big fan. So I watched Idol and a few other songs and that’s all she wrote.

Now I’m on tumblr answering asks about Jikook.

He he hee... Like afore mentioned i am African and we are super homophobic. A man can marry 16 wives and that’s okay but God forbid two men of the same age date only eo. A person can be a serial killer but oh well, at least he wasn’t gay!

So, much like society, my mind is programmed to think everyone is straight unless they say otherwise. So I did not think that any member of BTS could be gay. Like at all. And when I got into them properly, I binged run bts, bon voyage and ITS and still saw nothing.

1) I was working with the mentality that they are all straight.

2)I am reading subtitles and trying to look at the one who is speaking. Aint no way I will notice shenanigans happening with other members that I’m not focused on.

Once I was done with their content I started watching compilations, and funny moments, etc. Mind you by this point I have forgotten about RM. Like I mentioned before I am a sucker for pretty men and Jimin is very pretty. Like abnormally pretty. Like, this motherfucker was glowing in a damn crowd how is this normal???

I don't think the fallen angel thing is a joke y'all. This man ain't normal 👀

RM may have brought me to BTS but it didn’t take long for the Jimin effect to hit me. So I was paying alot of attention to him. Which means when I didn’t have anymore official content to consume, (unbeknownst to me i had merely scratched the surface) I started looking for Jimin shit. And what happens when u stalk a specific member? Within no time u get a ship video. And that’s how I came across Yoonmin and boom! I was a Yoonminer. But I wouldn’t say I was that faithful to the ship because have you watched Jihope sexual tension videos? I’m sorry but they are 🔥🔥 completely out of context but still very well done. Also Jihope used to be the kings of fanservice so there is plenty of content.

I watched all Jimin ships and YouTube never once recommended me Jikook. Which is really weird. But then one day I saw “Jikook analysis" and it was by Mizgator and we all know how good and thorough she is. At first I was like; now what is a Jikook and why an analysis? But then Jimin was on the thumbnail so of course I clicked.

Mizgator made me believe in Jikook. I binge watched all her stuff and I couldn’t believe my eyes. And it was all so juicy and interesting I couldn’t stop. After I was done with her I looked for more and more and more until I had seen all Jikook analyses You tube had to show me.

That’s when I rewatched ITS and Bon Voyage with the eyes of a shipper and it was all there. I felt so dumb like; how did I not see it before?!

So sometimes I understand these antis and ot7 assholes. Because if you’re not looking for it, u certainly will not see it.

And its krazy because Jikook are like right in your face. The satellite/teleport thing is not even subtle. From both of them, not just JK.

Anyway, I joined a discord with like minded people who continued to point out things all the analyses I had watched didn’t pick up on. And I started noticing things too when rewatching everything. Its fun to rewatch stuff with a Jikook lense because they really are obvious guys. Its fascinating.

Anyway, all this is to say I am not like other people who say the following moments opened their eyes.

My eyes saw, but in my head they were straight so it was all nothing. Until I met Mizgator and my life has never been the same.

So,

What made you believe in them?

Mizgator

In your op after military service will they be even more braver in showing their affection?

Yes. I mention that here. And here. And then talk in depth (ish) about it here

What are in your op the reasons why Jikook are probably dating?

Anon this is a loaded question because it’s everything. Its the exclusive stuff they only do to/for eo. Its the 18+ moments. I mean especially the 18+ moments that have no hetero explanation whatsoever. It’s when Kjikookers tell us they defy what is usually the norm, culturally. It's how members react when they're Jikooking. It’s everything. Sometimes its hard to explain to an anti that we don’t believe in Jikook because of just one moment but because of so many things that when accumulated add to one big, humongous undeniable picture. U know?

Damn, this was a long answer but I hope you got what u came 4. Bless 🥰

[undertale-writing-times]

💗💓💘♥️💔 for Nightmare, Killer, Error, Horror, Dust and Cross? 👀 If it's not too much to ask for at once of course! ☺️ I just adore these bois 💝

Aw dang man, one of the emojis didn't work. I dunno what the black heart is but you can send that one again if you want.

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they're in love?

Nightmare: Not really, no, and it's because he doesn't understand really? Crushes are still something new for him and he hates it. When he has a crush, he may focus on them a bit more than others and he might act a bit awkward near them.

Killer: Oh yeah haha. When he has a crush on someone, he tries to latch onto them as often as he can. Now if he's in love? He's much more protective and dislikes not knowing where they are.

Error: They feel much more awkward lol and might honestly stop talking to their crush for a while until they figure out their feelings... good luck.

Axe: YES! When he has a crush on someone he is very protective of them, cares for them, and hates it whenever there's anything that can be remotely dangerous to them. He might follow them around or just stand close to them cause of his crush.

Dusty: Sort of... they might notice him looking at them sometimes but then looking away fast. It takes a while for him to really let it slip that he likes them but he might stand a bit closer to them at times.

Cross: If they give him the chance to, he'll stick close to them and would bring them gifts sometimes. He wants to protect them at all costs pretty much and he is always nervous/embarrassed near them. So yeah, pretty noticeable lol.

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Nightmare: In a romantic way; being close to his crush makes his chest feel strange and very warm. While in a normal way; being around too much positive emotion at once makes his chest feel strange and annoying.

Killer: If you mean in a romantic way, just being close to his crush or them paying attention to him makes his soul feel all warm and giddy while in a not-romantic sense, fighting! Fighting makes his heart race and he always feels so happy. It's… a strange feeling. A happy, but empty feeling.

Error: Hmmmm honestly? If they're too close to their crush and they see that they're paying them attention. It makes Error feel freaked out, and they're not sure if that's a good or a bad way? If the other person stares at them too long though, Error might lash out lol. They have emotional issues.

Axe: In a romantic way; if his crush touches him. Mostly his hands, but really any type of touch make his soul feel warm and it's a feeling that he sometimes forgets about. They're so warm compared to him, and it makes him feel so… happy. Otherwise hunting or getting a good meal! Mostly hunting, though.

Dusty: If his crush is too close to him. It makes his heart start to beat fast and he feels nice but also pretty panicked… it's a strange feeling and he really doesn't like it. He'll just have to get used to it.

Cross: There's a lot of things that would get his heart beating. In a romantic way, cuddling makes his soul feel strange. It makes him feel all warm and fuzzy.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

Nightmare: He does not believe in love at first sight. Relationships need to be built up! There's lust, there's affection maybe at first sight, but not love. The traits that he would need his datemate is that they cannot be too controlling of him. They need to respect him and they need to be honest… plus, you know, he doesn't want them to be JUST like him. They need their own thoughts and ideas.

Killer: He does :) though maybe not as strongly as Axe. With Killer, the traits that he needs his datemate to have is self-confidence even if it's just a little! They need to be honest with him as well as have a lot of affection for him. He needs attention pretty often.

Error: No! Not at all. They will never and never have believed in love at first sight. The idea to them is just… stupid. Now the traits that their future datemate would need is anger control…. sometimes Error has a hard time controlling their own anger and might say something on accident. And they need to play fair. Even if Error says something, they would never say something mean to just be mean and they want their datemate to not do it too.

Axe: Axe is the one that believes in love at first sight the most! The idea of that is… so sweet to him. Now the traits, honestly, I could picture him wanting to be with someone that he can take care of. He wants to help them and take care of them but he wants to be taken care of too. Plus, they need to be open to trying new things and… maybe help him try to do new things too.

Dusty: Dusty doesn't believe in love at fight sight. He might feel attraction to someone but he doesn't think that it is 'love'. Now traits that I think he would like for them to have is to be understanding. Sometimes he might accidentally do things and if they're bothered by it, he wants them to tell him and understand that sometimes they might do things that he doesn't like either. He doesn't want them to be too controlling or hostile to him.

Cross: Cross would want them to be respectful, Understanding, honest, and allow him to feel like he could depend on them and he hopes that they would depend on him too. Also! Yes, he believes in love at first sight but tries to act like he doesn't haha.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

Nightmare: Pick Dream's side. Nightmare has been the second choice for so long in his life, that if his datemate chooses Dream over him, it would be one of the last straws.

Killer: Hmmm act like everything that happened was his fault. He knows that he didn't do everything really good, but he knows that he isn't 100% at fault.

Error: Bully them for their phobia of touch. It would make them react badly. There are a lot of reasons on why they don't like it.

Axe: Leave him behind. He has been left by so many people, that he isn't sure if he could handle it if his datemate left him too.

Dusty: Judging him without knowing his story.

Cross: If they ever hit him. Like just for no reason or to be abusive. Not like playful hit or when they're training together.

[harrywavycurly]

Okay but what is serial killer!Eddie like in bed? What gets him off? Is he soft? Rough? 👀

Hiii babes!! So I just imagine Serial Killer Eddie in bed is just very giving and I feel like he’s into whatever you’re into because you’re his Princess so whatever you want he’ll do it, he also is very good at paying attention to what you like and what you don’t like. He’s well aware of how you act when you want him to treat you a certain way so he’ll know by the way you talk to him or by your attitude if you want it rougher or softer🫠🫠💖

Serial Killer Eddie when you’re being a brat:

[darkdoverpseeker]

🕊️ howdy 🤠 28 y/o demiboy (he/it) CST timezone but has a terrible sleep schedule. Please be 24+. I prefer to write on discord with Tupperbox active.

My writing style is third person, past tense, and length depends on energy level. I can write 3-15+ paragraphs or I can write rapid fire texts. All depends on plot and what I’m given. I prefer MxM.

I do not double.

Here are a list of plots I have muse for ☺️

• the most dysfunctional or unhinged pairing. I’m not gonna guarantee a ship seeing as this character is greyromantic. Hes Slowburn Material™️ and the pay off is best. A platonic bond would be fun to see 🥰 He’s a hothead who is super abrasive and straightforward. Trauma coded™️. There is no fixing him. He’s not available for uwu soft subs - they’re just boring to him. Two strong personalities would be preferred. Will they kill each other or comfort each other? Who knows! That’s the fun in it. Killer & killer or perhaps brutal and mortal enemies? 👀

• OC Scream mumu!!! We both play a Ghostface & Final girl. Who are they? Only the wheel knows 🥰 it’d be starting at the first movie but set with 21+ y/o muses

• OC Hunger Games!!! Either 1x1 or mumu; either will be okay ☺️ starting with the first movie and building everything from there with our own characters and directions to agree on and plot. The world is our own.

• Misery loves company but the company loves the misery type of plot. Toxic as ever. Maybe digs into abuse for a dead dove aspect. They’re addicted to each other like a bad habit. This requires switches or dom/dom. Muse A and Muse B have the WORST jealous ex syndrome when it comes to each other. However, when something goes wrong, they’re going back to each other with tails between their legs while the other soaks in the attention. It’s the worst aspect of “I’ll always be here”. Their friends want them separated but there’s too much history to erase to let it all go. Fighting to the point of screaming at each other but not all the time. When it’s just them, it’s like candy land and sunshine. It’s when others are around that things begin to get rocky.

• Power imbalances or statuses. Bosses son ready to take on the company & an intern or lesser position meeting his future boss. Could also be age difference too 👀 I’d prefer to play the younger submissive in this scenario. They could have went to school with each other or the older man could be a family friend. It’s just kinky and secretive with threats of reporting everything to the big boss man.

• Michelin star chef & his staff or the restaurant bartender. Things aren’t going well for my chef. He’s stressed from everything and perpetually grumpy. He’s gotten cattier, more demanding and strict with previous rules, and he seems to be taking shots on the clock. He’s staying at work late and often sleeping there. Then Muse B pokes around the corner to find a drunken star stumbling in yesterday’s clothes. Where to go from there? We can plot!! I have ideas but throwing out inspo 💞

• You type plot. Stalking, anonymous calling, kidnapping, etc to be in play. Muse A would go to any appearance Muse B made. Whether it’s a concert they’re performing in or attend or a convention or vip section or after party or whatever Muse B is in, Muse A stays until they leave. Muse A talks to Muse B so casually. They start a relationship. Later, dots start connecting and Muse B eventually finds out about everything. Whether it turns to kidnapping that leads to Stockholm Syndrome or finding a way out, Muse A is trying to stay ahead of the game.

Sorry for the long winded post!! Im starved for content.

like if interested !

[livinluxuriouslyselena]

Audiodrama Recommendations

Since I see so many requests for recommendations (mainly on the Audiodrama Subreddit) and make plenty of my own requests 😚

I decided a few months back that it seemed the least I could do was to pay the kindness forward (for all the times y’all have supplied me with suggestions).

Before browsing my list- I think it’s important to have a general idea of what kind of person the AD-lover is before getting your hopes up by their recommendations- because, taste is subjective, no? 😉☺️🌟

So, to me, audio drama is defined by having a full-cast of talented voice actors who’s job is to bring a well-written script to life. It is my opinion that *narration* has *no place* in audio drama **unless** it’s *absolutely essential* to the development of the plot as the script requires.

I’m a lover of all things **surreal** ( favorite Artist? Salvador Dalí, favorite author? Rob Shearman 🫠)- I have LOTS of weird sci-fi/horror/thriller/mystery AD’s under my belt.. (I have literally cleaned out the entire *Big Finish Audio* catalogue. 😳)

I grew up on horror everything - I was 5 when I saw *Poltergeist* 👀 so… and was reading my parents Stephen King books in elementary school 😅🙈🤷🏻‍♀️ - by the time I hit highschool I had watched every horror film in Blockbuster (wow I am old 🤦🏻‍♀️) - from the classics like *Psycho* & The Exorcist to the cheesy 80s b-roll slasher films 🙈😂🤣.

That said - I am an equal opportunity listener and I love many shades of comedy dramas. Though I do prefer my comedy to have a bit of *bite* to it.. 😅 and I’m not here for narration. Full cast audiodrama with sound production is my thing. 😅😉😘

as an adult I am partial to UK/Australian/Canada based entertainment. Even though I have lived in NYC my whole life 🤷🏻‍♀️

And here’s the list (I am sure I have forgotten about the audios from before I began this list - so feel free to add to it in the comments)

NOTE- most links take you to Spotify, some exceptions include the BBC SOUNDS app & audible

______________________________

Horror/sci-fi thriller/supernatural thrillers (simplified into “more-serious audiodrama”)

—Restart : by the creators of **The Cypher**

— Children of the Stones : (BBC) paranormal/sci-fi/thriller-mystery full cast audio drama.

—The Piper - (BBC) paranormal/sci-fi detective mystery/horror story (full cast audio drama)

— Jackie the Ripper : the infamous 19th century Whitechapel murders retold with some very sociologically-relevant, feminist twists. I debated whether to place this in the comedy or sci-fi/horror section because, technically, it’s a brilliantly British & even mix of both. Description from their website: “in this modern twist, men are the victims of dark, sexually aggressive murders. The kind that leave them penis-less... Behind all the bloodshed is a woman, Jackie, a ruthless serial killer ready to strike again, and again, and again….without a single ounce of remorse and ready to share it all on social media.”

— BODY HORROR (BBC) : psychological mystery thriller (contrary to the title of the piece, it’s not even remotely in the body horror subgenre lol - no gore or any talk of blood 🩸 because it’s not necessary - this one cuts deep, in particular for any1 who’s suffered from issues of identity or body-image disorders).

—In Another Room : paranormal investigation turned straight-horror

—Fulmar’s Folly uk-based post-apocalyptic water world

— Red Valley : surrealist-sci-fi-thriller-horror full cast UK audio drama. BRILLIANT plot & a few thought-provoking mysteries. S1 & 2 end w/ incredible twists & had me in tears one moment; and laughing the next. S3 is in the making & will be it’s final season; completing the story.

— Lusus - (BBC)- *like* an anthology (which I am not really into anthologies unless they are super original 😅) but if you *pay attention*, each very different story is linked. Each episode is unique in its own subgenre of the horror/mystery category.

—5 Week Countdown

— Murmurs (BBC) high-concept, surrealistic sci-fi-horror

—Limelight - another BBC AD: composed of mini-serials. My personal favorites are English Rose (5 part mini-series) ,The System series 1 (6 parts) & 2 (5 parts), Dead Hand (5 part mini-series, each episode a half an hour run-time), & Steelheads (5 parts)

—**Weird Tales** : (BBC) Some of these were just phenomenal. They ease you in with *The Fly* (not associated with the movie) and then they dial up the psychological fear-factor times 10 for *The Loop* - which was my favorite of the entire series. But they are all great (though the framing device is lazy & unnecessary)

— Malevolent : an indie lovecraftian tale

— Dashing Onions Audio : I read a review while Google searching best audiodrama - the mini series When We Were Two (3 part mini-series) was a perfect recommendation- this is how *every* Twilight Zone episode should have been. Upstairs, Upstairs was good just too short. Customs is a master class in script editing. Overall I prefer their mini series.

— Video Palace : traditional horror story

— The Man in Black bought on audible the version with Mark Gatiss; listened to the OG version on the BBC SOUNDS app. ((Anthology-horror)) Each episode is the length of many modern podcasted-audiodrama’s full seasons.

— Dangerous Visions (BBC) Horror/thriller

— Forest 404 (bbc) sci-fi/fantasy-thriller; hard to actually put this one into a genre category..but it’s written by Timothy X Attack, & if you’re a fan of his work with **Big Finish Audio**, it’s worth ur time.

— The Message sci-fi/mystery/thriller

— LifeAfter sci-fi/mystery/thriller

— Archive 81 : ((i suggest u start with S3. If you like it, wither go back to S1 & continue in order, or stick with the “backwards” route; going from S3->S2->S1 😉))

— The Imperfection : award winning. Any more description will ruin it. Go in cold.

— Who Killed Alaska? : sci-fi/mystery/thriller w/elements of surrealism,dark comedy, & possibilities of the paranormal..?

— How I Died : ongoing sci-fi/mystery/horror-thriller

— The Cypher : truly a great mystery (or mysteries..?), definitely a futuristic, world. Sci-fi thriller. Also by the BBC but available on most podcasting apps like the other BBC AD’s I have recommended here (spotify, Apple Podcasts, and Pocket Casts, a few are even available on audible)

— Petrified: Ireland based award winning full cast horror audio drama

— Subsister: A Real Podcast ongoing sci-fi mystery with multi-media/arg elements.

— The Deep Vault : made by the Archive 81 team. Fast paced true horror.

— The Oyster : this one I was apprehensive about & it was just… great. Cerebral, thought provoking, *moving*, psychologically-terrifying sci-fi. You will laugh & likely cry & feel your stomach fill with butterflies & it leaves a definite impression that lasts for days…

— Tracks (BBC) There are 5 different seasons - each could be listened to in isolation as they all have their own individual mysteries that are solved. All weird sci-fi, psychological thriller fiction

—Steal the Stars (renamed STORIES FROM THE STARS) : a shortened version (and obviously far more streamlined in storyline, production etc) of Archive 81 but here the writing shines, the pacing is absolute perfection - and then it’s like a roller coaster that I didn’t see coming - that ending I was so, so unprepared for 🤯🫢🤐

— Marvel’s Wolverine: The Long Night (can be found under the feed “Marvel’s Wolverine: The Lost Trail” - which is the 2nd season of the series) : I am not into the DC/Marvel universe. The last super-hero movie I saw was the 1990’s Batman movies 😳. I knew literally *nothing* about Wolverine, the character, when I finally caved into trying this…and boy, am I glad I did. This AD serves as yet another reminder of how holding onto preconceived notions only limits one’s potential for enjoyment. Anyway… this is absolutely not for children, & not an origin story (which is what I had been expecting). I was shocked to hear that the titular character (the term “Wolverine” is never used. It took a bit of googling for me to see that the missing “Logan” = Wolverine) is played by none other than Richard Armitage (who I know most recently from his spine-tingling portrayal of Rassilon in the Gallifrey Time War boxsets) and oddly enough, said-titular-character has very, very few lines/appearances in this story. I could go on, & on, & on trying to sell the idea of what this thing is & why it deserves your time - but it’s easy enough to just Google..

— St. Mary’s School for Children with the Stigmata

— The Grove : short serialized mythological horror story (obviously full cast)

—The Deca Tapes : almost like an experimental ARG-type formula? Basically you are dropped into a futuristic sociological experiment of sorts- and it’s up to the listener to figure out wtf is going on. This one has narration but it’s integral to the storytelling.

— BOOM (by Stak) : From their website: “It's 1999 and Enron finance manager Jim Yang has received an email from the future.”

—Parkdale Haunt* ((*I found the first season to be almost intolerable due to the very slow opening and pacing issues - but when it gets going it is good. I get the impression that they were finding their feet so-to-speak)) a supernatural horror story- seasons 2 & 3 are great - season 1 is a treck so if you don’t have the patience or tolerance, I advise skipping this one

—The Bright Sessions* (slow the 1st season. But worth it come the AM Archives)

—SCP: Find Us Alive : a darkly comedic horror serial set in the SCP universe but doing something CREATIVE within it

—The Sink: A Sleep Aid (BBC) immersive experience in psychological horror

—Case 63 : a short, professionally recorded, concisely-written psychological thriller

—Blood Culture : horror/sci-fi serial

—Quiet Part Loud : by Jordan Peele. This is a must listen.

—Tomorrow’s Monsters : serialized horror/sci-fi thriller

—Eliza : A Robot’s Story : professionally recorded.

—Borrasca* : paranormal investigation turned horror series by Q-code so that in itself is an advertisement warning complete.

—Passenger List: slow burn mystery. Caitlin Le, an Asian college student from Kansas is attending university in NYC when news breaks of a plane going missing (ala the Malaysian airline’s mystery). As the “disaster” unfurls, she is surprised to discover her twin brother was on the flight from London to New York. Months later the airline announces a “bird strike” was responsible for the flight crash; despite the fact that no evidence of a crash has been found. Caitlin Le can’t move on until she knows what happened to her twin. Soon she uncovers multiple rabbit holes 🕳️ and she gets lost . Did she really ever truly know her twin brother?

— Batman Unburied : I’m not into the whole Marvel comics thing but this audio drama does something different with classic tropes

—Batman : The Audio Adventures : again, very well done. I was into the Gotham TV show for awhile - but that’s the only marvel/DC-spawned-entertainment that’s ever caught my attention. This is another one that works for both fans of the Batman and newbs alike

—The Secret of St. Kilda : this is more of a drama with some supernatural/mythical elements

—Give Me Away : I was torn whether to put this one in the comedy or serious section because it’s more of a “dramedy ”. And it’s scary because of what it says about society but not traditional horror. It’s also by the team who did *Steal the Stars*

—Paragon : an hour-length sci-fi/horror audio drama and is part of the PRIMORDIAL DEEP feed

—Wake of Corrosion : post-apocalyptic horror (ongoing)

—Quietly Yours : straight-up horror, bottle episodes (anthology of cinematic horror drama for the ears)

——————————————

Non-horror full cast audio drama (space operas, comedic serials, etc)

—Juno Steel : part of the Penumbra Podcast

—EOS 10 : comedic space opera

— Brimstone Valley Mall : dark comedy nostalgia fest

—We Fix Space Junk : comedic space opera

—Marscorp : comedic space opera

—Classified : Dark Comedy, triggers : mental illness/asylums

—Wooden Overcoats : dark comedy “sitcom”

—Mockery Manor : nostalgia-fueled dark comedy/mock/horror

—Eternal Strife : comedic serial

—Victoriocity : a less serious, less professional version of Jago & Litefoot

—Alba Salix : comedic serial fantasy

—Bubble : this one is a weird one because it is full cast and yet it has a designated narrator… so… 😏 give it a shot & if it doesn’t work for you probably give it a pass 😙

—The Candyman : Horror-comedy/parody - very indie but quite short and worth it 👏😂

—Human B-Gone : ongoing but so far so funny

—Two Flat-Earthers Kidnap a Free Mason: This one is definitely meant to be a farcical, satirical look at the internet conspiracy world (ie: the people who followed Alex Jones’ almost religiously lol) - it’s only 14 episodes in so far, and clearly ongoing… it’s not great but it works if you’re bored..? There are certain parts that would be really funny if the pacing had been better.

———————————————

Free Full Cast Audible Audio Dramas Worth Your Time (modern radio/audio drama & *FREE*)

—Space: 1969 (comedy/alternate reality) pieces of the description from the site: “What if President John F. Kennedy had survived and rocketed the Space Race of the 1960s into overdrive? And what if he was, maybe, not quite… himself? Space: 1969 is a retro sci-fi comedy adventure that has to be heard to be believed!”

—Heads Will Roll dark fantasy comedy

—Radioman (psych thriller/horror) from the site: “When a series of gruesome murders leaves a community in despair, a former local DJ decides to start a podcast and do something about it. But as his following grows, long-buried secrets from the past resurface revealing not everyone is who they truly seem....”

—The Method (serial killing actor- intense)from the site: “James Patterson leads you into the darkest recesses of the mind with this chilling, immersive audio thriller. We meet Brent Quill, a frustrated actor trying to take his game to the next level. When he learns about the intensive Method acting process, he dives in deep—and immediately lands the lead role in a TV series about a brutal serial killer.”

—The Catchers (straight horror/paranormal possibly cryptid) from the site: “Catchers is a small-town horror tale with all the charm of a classic ‘80s creature-feature, updated for the modern era.”

—Self Center (dark comedic horror; social relevancy)

—Hit Job (dark comedy)

—The Rivals: Tales of Sherlock Holmes’ Rivals (what it says on the tin - but very funny as well as delivering good mysteries)

—Tribulation : religion trigger warning. Interesting idea - religious cult on an AM broadcast is using electricity to “steal” people and force them into “tribulation”…

—High Strangeness : Doctor Who meets X-Files & Stranger Things - very good; very funny

—Apocalypse Untreated : “five mentally ill teenagers in an inpatient wilderness program during the apocalypse face not only the end of the world, but also the end of their prescriptions. Now, they have to figure out what’s real and what’s just a side effect, and keep their wits about them as they fight for their lives and their minds. Apocalypse Untreated is a multi-part, post-apocalyptic thriller brought to life with world class sound design, and performance.”

—Sorry Charlie Miller : another one w/Zachary Quinto (the protagonist/antagonist of The Method) but this is a modern comedy - from the website “Sorry Charlie Miller is a Tik Tok era mystery with twists, turns, and a whole lot of questionable fashion choices. It takes place in Florida, hello.” - so yeah, for me it depends on the time of the day and time of the month. It’s good for the right time basically 😂

—Sheltered : British humor - very bingeable just wish there was more 😔 Description from the site: “It’s been centuries since Armageddon and no one has ever left the bunker that has sustained what remains of civilised human life....When innocent simpleton Gary and social climber Veronica are sent to explore the world outside, they soon regret ever leaving the safety, soft furnishings and quilted toilet paper of Fallout Shelter 7421.”

—Sour Hall : magical horror staring Pearl Mackie (aka: Bill from the Capaldi years of Doctor Who, also the protagonist of AD Forest 404)

————————————————

[rollingsins]

https://www.tumblr.com/rollingsins/729555447073341440/wait-hold-up-what-is-this-title-part?source=share

Ok! I will!

Listen, Tara is one thing, but R, boo, come on respect Sam. Tho I know no matter what R days Tara will get pouty and ignore her. Examples:

R: Maybe we should have sex later? Tara: No. I want you when i want you.

R: Maybe I'll be quieter. Tara: You better not.

"This is our home" And Sam's too!!!! She be paying the bills!!!!

Pookie, baby *sigh* you are getting on my last nerve

Oop. Sam bout to snap. She is the daughter of a serial killer, Tara might just be bested...👀

Not the teddy bears Tara!!! R, honey, this should concern you more than it is (but it's pookie so... who cares 🤷‍♀️)

The fact that Sam told R about Quinn- 🥹 So happy to see the in-laws trust each other

"Nowadays, there’s only two bright sparks in her life." Well, I guess R is non-existent... I thought I felt the connection Samantha

Sam, you are such a good sister. Pookie! Pay attention!!!

It's ok Sam, I get the denial, but it's ok to experiment.

Sam as a teacher!? Don't mind me just *me a Sam simp faints*

Awww Sam, it's ok. Parties are lame anyway.

THAT'S RIGHT SAMMIE! DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE!!!

Loved it boo!

Tara is the pout queen

R can’t see red flags, she’s blind 👀

Why is everyone a Sam simp 😭😂

Thanks babe! Glad you enjoyed and thanks for the play by play! They’re my favorite things!

[rouzuchan]

Who would the HiGH&LOW: SWORD Leaders main in Genshin Impact?

(alternative title; their kinnies)

Cobra > Diluc

I think once Cobra gets into the game and goes through his story quest, he’d feel somewhat seen and relate strongly with him.

Their obvious similarity is they’d do anything to protect their home and the people they care about.

Stoic but friendly. Serious but passionate. Their families own businesses— Also, they’re both canonically lady killers 👀

Hence why the moment Diluc’s splash art appears on one of his pulls, you bet he’s already maxing him out 🤣

He wouldn’t play often, but you’d catch him playing on Tuesdays/Fridays/Sundays in the Foresaken Rift domain and farming artifacts.

I wholeheartedly believe he'd give advice to low AR players in Co-Op.

Yamato definitely teased him once about this. Cobra just shrugs him off and continues to deal with those annoying pyro abyss mages in his seat in Itokan.

Before he got Diluc, he mained Traveler for a good chunk of his experience.

Rocky > Beidou

These guys crossed hell and earth to get to where they are today!

Now, they're renowned legends in their areas. Rocky would understand her slack.

Would spend a little money just to get her in-slot weapons and constellations.

Like Cobra, wouldn't play often. As in "whenever he logs on, he triggers Stellar Reunion" not often.

Needs some guidance from Kizzy to get used to all of the mechanics and systems he doesn't understand.

He's a fast learner so no worries👍

Definitely asks her to pilot his account often.

Stays away from the fandom as humanly possible.

An honorable mention is Yelan. The aesthetic of her demo and her style piqued his interest.

Murayama Yoshiki > Venti

Ah yes, the playful menaces.

Venti Mains are stereotypically chaotic and wholesome bastards which fit Murayama.

I feel like he'd be too shy to admit he mains him, so he has Tartaglia built to put up a ruse.

Seki and Furuya found out. Didn't understand what he was ashamed of. It was THE Anemo Archon after all.

Nah, Todoroki found out and made fun of him. Got a good 'ol punch right after.

Would try learning some Lyre notes but then almost throws his phone away whenever he gets it wrong.

One time he caught Cobra playing near the seaside. Pestered the shit outta him to show him his UID so he could add him. 😭

Honorable mention to Heizou. Just the fact he throws hands instead of using a weapon. This show is literally about throwing hands!! It's perfect!

Smoky > Razor

CMON IT WAS OBVIOUS!!!

Smoky didn’t understand the game, but while spectating Takeshi and Lala’s gameplays, the wolf boy caught his attention. Not long, but he left an impression on him.

They’re both similar in style and personality-wise. My soft and scruffy loves ^^

They were raised in the environment they were abandoned in but received a found family in the midst of it. Their loyalties don’t waver and will stand by them ‘till the end.

I guess that’s why Smoky started using him for the majority of his experience.

He wouldn’t be aware he’s maining him, just uses him constantly because he was the strongest in his arsenal.

One day, he asks Takeshi to help him build his character.

Takeshi would be floored by the amount of Primogems he has.

“Uh- are you saving for anyone?” “What do you mean?” “For upcoming characters? You literally have 32k Primogems.” “What’s a primogem?” “…” “Do you mean that glitter you get from quests and events?” “…”

…Yeah, he’d forget the Gacha system altogether LMAO!

He's pulled before, getting Razor and all. But I don't think he'd pay too much attention to released characters.

Another thing I wanna mention: since he lives in the Nameless City, it’s probably difficult to get a stable connection so he lags and buffers all the time.

Peak "Razor Main" Behavior 👌✨

Once he gets far into the game, I can see him still maining Razor simultaneously with Xiao or Kazuha.

Hyuga Norihisa > Scaramouche

He has the worse reputation among S.W.O.R.D. and so does Scaramouche among his Fatui brethren. They're both well-respected and difficult to get along with if you're not up to par with their standing.

Along with him being a doll? With their stingy and arrogant personalities? It would fit ^^

Hyuga would laugh at the Genshin fandom's shenanigans, and by shenanigans, I mean their toxic behavior.

Would he participate in it though? That I do not know. He's an ass but he's not THAT big of an ass.

And I'll prove that— he would adore Klee.

Being the youngest among his family, he'd want to indulge in being an older brother to a little sister; especially one who makes bombs!

Would burn the grass below his Co-Op mates and slowly watches their HP go down HAHA!

BONUS!

Yamato - Arataki Itto (The himbo energy is strong on this one) Kizzy - Eula (#GIRLBOSSES) Takeshi - Bennett (I don't need to elaborate further) Lala - Kamisato Ayaka (She would just go for the pretty and fun characters, but would main Ayaka both being little siblings of the family and the desire to share their older brother's burdens)

I just had fun with this one, nothing too serious or deep. If you have any ideas, feel free to share them. If you see this in the Genshin Tag... Go watch HiGH&LOW right now. I am literally on a mission for everyone to watch this show (o゜▽゜)o☆

[storiesofsvu]

Law & order thoughts & reactions

OC:

Okay… is this season about the casino man baby? Or is it about the cop killers? Did the writers just *abandon* the casino plot line or are we trying to do both?

Im sorry?? Did the new guy just say he’s gen z??? Cause hes definitely a milennial…. How YOUNG IS HE SUPPOSED TO BE??😟 (i usually go by the actor’s age so…)

LOOOLL nice fucking throw bud

God I miss Rita… (no that has nothing to do with the episode i just miss my girl..)

I dont care about this shit AT ALL. Give me better content pls.

This pedo dude reminds me of Gary Clarke & im not here for it

HA! Nice play boys.

Oh… were back to the casino shit… *sigh*

Mothership!!:

From the promo this is a very heavy Sam episode & im hoping thats accurate, but also pls dont hurt my babey.

“1. Im not a child.” Bless you sam

I cannot tell the white male cop & the white male ada apart like 90% of the time… in case you were wondering how much attention i pay to this show when samantha’s not on screen

Oh sam… sweet summer child… i feel so bad for her. This *isnt* her fault & like she knows that she’s gonna end up catching the blame for it meanwhile price(?) is just gonna float on by & he’s trying to tell her its all okay? Like bruh, read the room.

How is sam allowed to still sit second chair after being called as a witness??

There was practically *NO* evidence for this case…. Part of me feels like the guy wasnt guilty? Like, he was shot too. It coulda been someone else? And he just snagged the watch after the dude died? Like perp’s lawyer coulda done a way better job?….

Okay fucking finally. Svu time…

Amanda teaching/lecturing is such a good leway for her… also i thino we constantly forget that she has a degree in forensics…like… girl is *smart*

Maggie has been in an earlier episode… the one with the lost kid on the train, split parents, linked to an old case?

Adore that carisi’s at amanda’s class/whatever this is. We stan a supportive husband. (Yeah i know theyre not married but they practically are..)

👀👀👀👀 that KISS tho!! Dom amanda comin through HELLO

Okay wtf bird mask hella creepy. Like… no one else is masked??!!

What the fuuuck??

“Had a good night last night” GIRL GOT FUCKED/DID THE FUCKING

Okay i will admit, theyre building up amanda’s leave/options of what to do next real well!

Maggie’s supposed to be *early* 30’s??!! She looks late 40’s…. I know shes supposed to be “mousy” but her hair is literally graying.

“Even her card smells rich” please. I *need* muncy & rita to meet… like i need rita at the precinct & muncy pop up beside her with some fact about the case & rita to be all “who tf is this?! Where tf is amanda?” Like, in that office gif of dwight & angela.

Aw man i was *REALLY* hoping for UC amanda/muncy 😫

“My fetish is green in colour” FIN PLEASE!! (Have you seen your wife?!)

OH MY FUCKING GOD ITS ELLE GREENAWAY ISNT IT?! ITS ELLE!! I LITERALLY DIDNT FIGURE IT OUT TIL SHE WAS ON THE FUCKING PLANE.

(Its her right?! It was literally bugging me the ENTIRE ep who tf she was…)

And no velasco… am sad…

[stingslikeabee]

👀➡

send in one of the following emojis and my muse will react . accepting

The night in itself was ordinary - the average number of patrons, the regular faces in the crowd and the presence of Six by the pool table, playing by himself. It should have been an odd sight - a guy going through the motions of the game all alone - but somehow even that had become a staple of the Killer Queen. When Sierra Six was playing, no one dared interrupt anymore (not that he had outright disrespected the code of conduct of the place before - but Melissa suspected certain arrangements had been made outside).

The difference was in how the barmaid had been watching him play for the last few minutes - Melissa had a beer herself, the bottle resting in-between fingers while the woman gazed at the ex-agent with a certain gleam in her eyes. They hadn't talked about anything in the open, of course - whether they had kissed, fucked or shared confessions about their pasts was no one else's business.

And yet, it was not too hard to see something had happened - their interactions shifted in the absence of the tension that had dominated the two of them before. The oldest employee around called it first - even if Melissa was not aware of it, the crew of the diner was placing bets or whether or not they had been intimate already.

Suddenly, Six looked her way - and it wasn't an accidental movement of his part; the angle was precise and the motions perfectly calculated, making the barmaid realize that he knew he had been under her watch the entire time (the man had merely chosen not to return it thus far). And maybe the reason was in how he did it - there were no words there, sure, but Sierra Six looked at Melissa under a new light.

Perhaps, now they had finally crossed the line (and kept acting like they wanted to do it again), there was no reason to pretend otherwise. Well, the clients and staff were likely preventing them from acting on the thing, sure - neither one of them wanted their individual, private lives to become a topic of conversation - but Six eyed Melissa with a longing in his clear blue gaze that had the grip around the bottle growing tighter and breathing becoming shorter.

Fuck - she had it bad, hadn't she?

And then... He pointed upwards, dragging the barmaid's attention back to him but now with a look of confusion. From her place behind the counter, the brunette frowned, struggling to follow his directions. Was it something on the ceiling? Melissa looked everywhere but saw nothing, and then gazed at Six again, who now was smiling softly in that reserved way of his and motioned with his head towards the jukebox, and then again up - ah. The music - the speakers were up there.

The woman struggled to get the lyrics at first - but then recognized the tune played, a random Tom Waits song that didn't have any particular meaning to her. Melissa stared at the ex-agent again as if he had gone mad, but realized he was now moving his lips alongside the lyrics, particularly a part that contained the sentences 'see that little jersey girl in the see-through top / with the pedal pushers, sucking on a soda pop? / well I’ll bet she’s still a virgin but it’s only 25 til 9 / you can see a million of 'em on Heartattack and Vine'.

Once that part of the song had ended, his smile widened a bit - he pointed at her next, staring at Melissa with his impossible blue eyes before cracking another grin and mouthing more words at her (this time, she had been paying attention to catch them faster).

'It's you. You're the virgin.'

"The fucking nerve," Melissa said with a snort, shaking her head and taking a larger sip of her bottle; the sound of the beer placed against the counter next was louder than expected, but the barmaid was not really angry - the entire joke about her sexual experience (or supposed lack thereof) was not one she cared to relive now so Charlie and the rest of the girls could participate, too.

Instead, Melissa brought her drink to the pool table - she rounded it slowly, eyes locked with the assassin the entire time until they were side by side, although the barmaid leaned against the border of the table rather than facing it forward like Six. Grinning, the brunette placed the beer in-between them, head moving a little backwards before offering him a little smile that wasn't as mischievous as the glint in her honeyed eyes.

"Well, if that's true, then someone didn't do their job properly," a chuckle followed, "I get off work at 2am if you're willing to stay around and fix that."

[alyjojo]

Advice to Work on Yourself 🙈 in September 2023: Scorpio

Ace of Wands - King of Cups - 8 Pentacles & 9 Pentacles

Regarding: 5 Wands

This is shadow work, no two ways about it. We all have parts of ourself that cause problems if not controlled or dealt with. Maturing is a process that never ends, and doesn’t mean what you think it means, I’m getting that loud and clear. Every zodiac sign and placement has a good and bad, best and worst, so you’re not being attacked. The same astrology placements that made Jeffrey Dahmer a serial killer could’ve made him an amazing surgeon, or mortician. Why *that’s* where we’re going with this, I don’t know. Caravaggio is now looking more ominous 👀 No violence please. But everyone gets these kind of messages (less dark tho 💯), it just depends on when/who needs them.

Your message is scathing, but your communication is scathing and I’m getting “that’s the point”. Spirit is talking to you like you talk to others. I’m going to nice it up though, because that’s also the point. Anger issues are coming out strongly, maybe avoidance of those issues as well, and that needs more attention. You may hold your feelings inside until you explode, rather than addressing them calmly in the moment. King of Cups is your energy, and normally a very mature & kind person, with balanced emotions, but you’ve got a red flag on your own head and it’s due to how you deal with conflict.

The Dog with a Cross and Judgement both show a conservative sort of belief system and view on things. Possibly religious. Are they your beliefs? Your judgements? Or someone else’s? Because Dog also shows a lot of people that have opinions and want you to please them or live up to some expectation…no. Your life. Respectfully 🙏 That same sentiment applies to others where you are projecting this judgy & holier than thou attitude towards them. No. Their life. Respectfully 🙏

You’re confused about a partnership, a lover, either one that you already have or one you want to have but don’t know how to get. Queen of Pentacles is your dream, someone who can and does do it all, they have money, a thriving career, raise the kids, clean the home, pay the bills, take care of life. Practically. And you may judge all of your people, or potential people, based on these inner judgements and standards that seem imposed on you? by some outside source. I’m getting you need to look at things way more deeply. And then ask yourself? Are YOU even this person? Can someone throw 1000 judgements and expectations your way and you will strive to meet them? Or will you tell them to fk off? Because I’m getting in this moment, as thing stand, most people are going to tell you to fk off, and this is why.

Most people have dreams and desires for an ideal person sure. Boundaries are necessary, being communicative about expectations are good, and so long as two people (not just you)‘s expectations are compatible and met on both sides, there can be 10 Cups. What’s not okay is constant complaining, moving the goal posts, like today it’s fine to do xyz but tomorrow it’s not, or things are only okay when you do them - not someone else. You have a tangled web of “standards” imprinted in you that in reality you might not even really care about, but you use them against people, and that’s toxic.

The advice is to put more work into yourself, your money, your career, and take the time you need to sort out what it is you do really want. And the Dog energy, other people and their opinions, has got to go. You need to not care, and make your own decisions that you have to live with. The person your Mom would pick would probably be a millionaire, but if there’s no passion or chemistry, what’s the point? The only thing we should all know about Spirit is that they like to test us and our beliefs at our core, as a lesson to be a good person, and more loving towards everyone of all walks of life, which is the only real lesson in any religious book, and it’s in all of them pick one. Releasing the ego 💯 If you are religious, then you already know it’s not *your* Judgement that even matters 😉

The other side of this is it’s fine to have certain desires and standards based on your experiences in the past, and your personality. What is a good fit for you, what balances your own life, what do you *need* to be happy, what does 10 Cups look like to you? That’s the fairy tale ending, happily ever after. You can figure that out and look for it, be up front about it with potential partners, but what you can’t do is take an available person that’s NOT that - and bite their head off with criticism and judgements so that they will become that - or just blindly expect it. They will be them and it’s what’s best for them, they’ll just avoid you 💯

This also applies to someone in your life that is this way with you. A partner? A parent? A friend? All of them. That’s why “vote someone off the island is here”. You don’t owe anyone a damn thing, and they don’t owe you either. But if you want to explain, do so in a kind way, and allow others a chance to speak how they feel, what they want, etc etc and “Improve Your Listening”. If you don’t agree, okay, hope you find what you’re looking for, and move on ❤️

Delving into your own birth chart could be really beneficial to you, just to explore yourself. And someone else’s if there’s a particular person/people you heavily conflict with. Synastry charts could help you there. Google has everything you need to research individual aspects, or there are millions of astrologers that offer these things. Some of you may have firm beliefs against that, and that’s okay too, this is just for those open to it. Apply that mindset to life.

Animal Oracle: Dog 🐕

“Your loyalty and faithfulness is misplaced by serving too many masters.”

“Whom do you serve?” is the question. When you compromise your integrity to placate others out of fear of disapproval or disappointment, you give away your power and deny your own inner authority. You become their servant, and they your masters. You allow this by assuming some other person or organization has more of something, whether knowledge, spiritual power, confidence, beauty, and you therefore put yourself in a “lesser than” position. While some people do possess these gifts, you can honor them as teachers, not masters.

Children start out leashed to their parents for wisdom and guidance, and as they grow the leashes stretch and eventually are severed as they make their own way through life. Over a number of years, you’ve allowed many leashes to be put around your neck, you’re serving too many people and it’s diminished your sense of self. Cut all of the leashes off and free yourself.

Artist Oracle: CARAVAGGIO

- Try to keep violence metaphorical.

- Adjust your eyes to darkness.

- A head on the shoulders is worth two in the hand.

Advice:

- Improve Your Listening

- Vote Someone Off the Island 🏝️

Charms:

Cross ✝️ on Dog are religious/familial based due to you being surrounded by people that for some reason have a say in what you do, how you think, what you want & how you behave or believe. This is saying to cut the extra baggage and/or just figure things out for yourself.

Fractal Heart ❤️ on Caravaggio has many many layers, projecting your own judgments and beliefs onto others when it’s better to have your own head on your shoulders. Keep the violence to yourself, and in this case, violence is communication & “hate” towards things, but Ace of Wands can show real anger too. I can’t know all of the intricate details of this heart, or the Key to follow, but you do, and it needs work.

Fractal Key 🔑 on Improve Your Listening shows the “Key” to the reading. If you want explanations that’s okay to ask, but you have to listen and really hear people, understanding that others are not like you and will not do what you would do. People don’t think like you, love like you, have the same goals, that’s what makes you an original person. But if you want another person - The Lovers & 10 Cups - you have to know someone else’s thoughts, the way they love, the goals and beliefs they have, which are just as important as your own.

Feather 🪶 on Judgement is a message from your angels, spirit guides and spiritual team about “Grace” because that’s what I heard when I held it, and in biblical terms no less. I’m also getting that the word is enough for you, and I should just leave it.

Red Flag 🚩on King of Cups is saying you have alarming shadows that you need to face, and also that you project yourself and the worst of these behaviors onto other people…avoiding the shadow work you need to do, probably from a righteous perspective. This is a message of “you’re not God, God is love, you need work”. But that’s okay, once you see it ❤️ If there is some dream person in your life, or a past one you’re having issues with (Judgement can show a rebirth) this is also saying to take it very slow in approaching them, because where things stand, they’re going to “nope” you right of their pool of love options. But also, that there’s a chance if you face your demons and come at them cautiously & respectfully, giving both of you the time and space that’s needed, working on it a little at a time, every day. Dang this one was intense. Hugs & love to you ❤️

[serialreporter]

apparently i never talked about survivor ! danny on here. so here's a little bit of info on that:

i think the funniest idea to go with on this is literally nothing changes - character wise for him. he's still a narcissistic serial killer back home, he's just a survivor in the realms instead. probably wouldn't of gotten taken by the fog right after roseville though. i'd say a few months before he came to florida.

definitely not the most altruistic. he'll prioritize his own well-being above all else. HOWEVER, he understands that in order to increase the chances of getting out alive, they need to work together. which is... easier said than done. his entire life, danny has pretty much worked alone.

so what that means is this. he will pay close attention to who he gets put into a trial with. he will analyze how they perform in these situations and deduct who the weakest links are. he's more likely to throw those people under the bus especially if they're not contributing anything to getting out and spend the entire time hiding and running away. but also,, it's the sadistic, horror loving part of his brain too who can't pass up the chance to witness terrified people being hunted down and killed. he justifies it by saying they weren't being any help, but he's also just 👀

he's a stealthy bitch. LITERALLY a bitch to find if you're the killer, because he's just that good at hiding and sneaking away. and he's smart, too. he's very good at predicting where the killer is gonna go or do, and similarly with survivors. seems to always be at the right place at the right time, because of it. he's notable for pallet stun or flashlight saves bc of it.

he kinda. has a masochistic mentality regarding it. because the fucked up horor loving gremlin in his brain is pretty hype about being in the trials, even if it's utter hell. he over all just seems wayyy too comfortable with the way things are, and honestly it wouldn't be shocking if other survivors were like 'dude wtf' @ him.

OH YEAH, and his perks! which are basically just a reverse of the ghostface perks.

takes one to know one

you're intimately familiar with the ins and outs of what it takes to be a real killer. because of this, you have a special bit of insight when it comes to predicting where and how the killer will strike next. every time the killer goes into it's special power, their aura becomes highlighted to you for 8 seconds.

"This isn't my first rodeo, it's not even my tenth." — Danny Johnson.

hop skip town

the years you spent on the move and covering your tracks has taught you a thing or two about making a grand escape from the scene at large. when injured, press the action button to activate this perk, hiding your scratch marks and pools of blood for 15 seconds.

"It's almost as funny as watching the cops scramble to find me." — Danny Johnson.

teacher's pet

the entity is entertained by your antics and the stakes your presence brings to the trial. if a survivor is picked up while you are within 8 meters of the killer, you are granted the ability to call upon the entity to block the nearest hook for 25 seconds.

"I think she's a fan." — Danny Johnson.

[la-principessa-della-squadra]

Could I ask La Squadra with fem member whose an literal embodiment of 'dont jugde book by its cover'? She seems like a normal, classy, smiley young lady, and all member didn't found her suspicious despite her very unclear background. But later one of the member found out she's a well-known anonymous serial killer who's highly regarded in many criminal organization. They also found out she's an educated intellectual, who ironically has criminology doctorate and law magister. How they'll react?👀 Just found your acc and I love your writing omg

Thank you so much! I've read all your notes, I hope you'll like it~ This is gonna be a little more serious than what I'm used to. Sorry I took so long

La Squadra finds out fem!reader is an anonymous serial killer

Tw: Curses, Blasphemy, Terrorism,slurs

"Pericolosa?"

(Dangerous?)

A puff of grey smoke leaves Prosciutto's thin lips. He's comfortably sitting on a red couch while Ghiaccio is standing in front of him with closed fists and cheeks redder than the carpet.

"Ti dico di sì, Ebete il Gesù, D*o can! Cuela fia non mi convince affatto!!"

(I'm telling you!! That girl can't fool me!She's hiding something!!)

Naples, 17:15 (05:15 p.m)

The Hitman team is gathered at the headquarters' lounge. Formaggio's bored eyes are stuck on the ceiling as He is sprawled on the sofa with his cat snuggled on his stomach. The patience of that poor animal is unbelievable, as Formaggio keeps pestering him and flicking his tail. Sitting on the armrest of the same sofa, there is Illuso, who is very casually listening to the conversation, too busy reading the insert about "Il grande Fratello" on "TV, Sorrisi e Canzoni" magazine. The mirror man sporadically mumbles things like:" La Clerici is getting fat..." but in general he doesn't seem to pay too much attention to Ghiaccio's yelling.

Only Melone and Risotto are currently missing.

"Stai a parlare della nuova stagista? Ma sei uscito pazzo? è un fottuto pezzo di pane, mi farei prendere sotto da un tir per farle fare una settimana in più da noi! E poi, ci prepara sempre il caffè, ci va a prendere le pizze...ed è l'unica che sa usare quel fax di merda!"

(Are you talking about the new girl? Are you out of your mind? She's sweet as a pie, a real fucking snack! I'd have a truck run over me if it means She could spend an extra week with us! Plus, She's always making us coffee, picking up our pizzas...and she's the only one who knows how to use that shitty fax machine!)

Pesci is sitting in an armchair next to Prosciutto, holding a large cup in his hand, probably filled with milk or caffè-latte. The boy is immediately flustered when he hears Ghiaccio talking trash about you. Pesci stands up and promptly starts listing all the nice things you do for the group with the cutest, dreamiest face, all while keeping track of your kind gestures on his fingers.

"Il fax è una merda perché è posseduto da uno stand."

(The fax machine is shitty because it's possessed by a stand)

Says Illuso without raising his eyes from the magazine.

"No.Illuso. Il fax NON è posseduto da uno stand, vuole solo che tu gli rimetta il toner quando è finito.Certo che sei proprio un genovese"

(No.Illuso. The fax machine is not shitty because it's possessed by a stand. The fax machine just wants you to change the toner, you cheapskate.)

Sensing some sass from his teammate, Iluso casually tosses the magazine on Formaggio's unbothered face and starts imitating Prosciutto's accent, even mimicking his pose on the sofa and pretending to smoke an invisible "cigarette".

"No.Prosciutto. Il fax NON vuole che tu gli rimetta il toner, vuole solo mangiarti le dita quando provi ad aprirlo."

(No.Prosciutto . The fax machine is not shitty because it wants you to change the toner. The fax machine just wants you to believe it needs new toner so when you stick your fingers inside, it can chew them.)

"OH MA MI STATE A SENTIRE MAGNASBORAE CHE NON SIETE ALTRO, MADONNA PORTELLA!!? Mi sembra di parlare con dei ritardati!!"

(HEY! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME, YOU FUCKIN' JIZZ EATERS, ?! I feel like I'm talking to retards!)

"Mò c'hai rotto er cazzo, Ghiaccio. Porcaccia la puttanaccia, che tu' madre se dovrebbe verognare de avette messo ar monno! Sei tarmente stronzo che anche Madre Teresa te menerebbe. Ti giuro dimme si c'è uno più stronzo di te che je do'r culo (Lulu, stabbono). Come fai a prendertela con una chicca come lei? è la cosa più dorce che abbia mai visto. Una che ti dà la mano per attraversare la strada e che ti chiede di aprirle la Nutella,cosa pensi possa fare a te?Vabbè che c'hai er fisico di un sollevatore di coriandoli però si esagera.... E io che pensavo che fosse Prosciutto quello sessista."

(Now you've really pissed me off, Ghiaccio. Holy shit, your mother should be ashamed for giving birth to such a despicable gremlin! I swear to God, sometimes you're such a stuck-up asshole, not worse than Lulu but anyway..., how can you be so mean to a baby girl like her? She's the sweetest moon pie I've ever met! Why are you so afraid of a girl that asks to hold your hand to cross the street and cannot open a fucking Nutella jar? What do you think she can do to you? .... And I thought Prosciutto was sexist.)

Formaggio finally snaps, removing the magazine from his face and throwing it in Ghiaccio's direction, missing him. The cat's still on his stomach, and it starts doing bread on his T-shirt.

"Còpate Formaggio. Andate in mona,sèmi. Quella finge solo di essere cretina, io lo so!! "

(Go kill yourself, Formaggio. I know she's just playing dumb!!)

Prosciutto speaks again, exasperated:

".... è solo una mocciosa...Risotto l'ha presa per fare da segretaria, e poi guardala, è così ubbiediente che se le chiedessi di farti una sega sotto al tavolo, ti chiederebbe: 'con quale mano?' "

(.... she's just a brat Risotto hired to be our secretary. Besides, just look at her, she's such a good girl that if you asked her to give you a hand job under the table, she would ask:'Which hand is your favorite?' )

"ma ti s'è sbrega?!! VA IN FIGA DE TU MADRE!!NON HO BISOGNO ANDARE A PUTTANE COME TE, DIO SGHEMBO."

(You stupid 'tard!! I DON'T WANT TO GET AIDS BY FUCKING HOOKERS LIKE YOU DO, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!DIO SGHEMBO)

"Però secondo me di una scopata hai bisogno,Ghiaccio."

(I also think you should get laid more often, Ghiaccio.)

Counters Illuso while looking at his nails.

"...ma forse referisci il 'Fai da te' insomma."

(Maybe you prefer going DIY...)

Pesci finishes his drink and pacifically intervenes:

"Zio, se sei preoccupato sul serio, dovresti parlarne con Risotto, no?"

( Bro, If you're REALLY concerned about her then you should talk to Risotto)

"Tasi. Prima di disturbare il capo, volevo essere sicuro di non prendere fischi per fiaschi. Ho già mandato Melone e quell'abominio crea-feti che chiama computer a fare ricerche."

(Shut it. Before bothering the boss, I wanted to make sure I wasn't barking at the wrong tree. I've already sent Melone and that rape-machine he calls a computer to do some research.)

"Aò. A noi scassi la minchia ma sei troppo codardo per andare dal capo da solo! Ma sei proprio un genio. Ciai 2 de quoziente d'intelligenza:giusto pe' tornà a casa. "

(WHAT?! Aò! You've been complaining about her for two hours but you're too much of a coward to go to the boss by yourself! Did you happen to have double the numbers of chromosomes in your DNA? Were your parents siblings or something? )

The cigarette's cinder has now reached Prosciutto's knuckles, slightly burning them. The cigarette is dropped directly into the ashtray, still smoking. Prosciutto gets up from the armchair and, advancing slowly, finds himself in front of Ghiaccio, towering over him with the little difference in height between the two. His gaze is murderous, as incandescent as a freshly lit Marlboro.

"Quindi oggi non era con noi a causa tua. Ma chi cazzo ti credi di essere?No.Dimmi. CHI. CAZZO. ti credi di essere?! Non so se hai capito che QUI non sei tu a dare gli ordini. "

(So he wasn't with us today because of you. Who the fuck do you think you are? No. Tell me. WHO. Who the fuck do you think you are?! I don't think you understand that HERE you can't give orders.)

"Maremma Maiala."

Hearing a familiar Tuscan accent, everyone turns toward the entrance. Before the situation can get any worse, Melone makes his appearance in the lounge without his usual mask and holding a floppy disk in his hand. His eyes are red, and he looks particularly stressed and exhausted. The gang instantly goes silent as they watch their lavender boy throwing himself on Prosciutto's armchair and covering his eyes with both hands.

"Melone, chicco....questo sta per stirà li piedi.."

(Melone, chicco, my dude...you look terrible...)

"Da quante ore sei al pc?"

(How many hours have you been on the pc?)

"No Illuso, la vera domanda è:' Che cos'hai scoperto?"

(No Illuso. The right question is: What have you found on the pc?)

Asks Ghiaccio pointing at the floppy disk resting near the ashtray.

"'hiamiamo il Risotto e andiamo nel suo ufficio. Io c'ho paura bimbi"

(Let's call Risotto and get to his office. This is important.)

Naples, 19:22 (07:22 p.m)

it's evening, the team has gathered in Risotto's office to talk face to face with him. Risotto looks concerned. He clutches your portfolio between his fingers almost in annoyance, there isn't a shred of information that could be qualified as 'useful'. Towering behind Melone, who has temporarily occupied the office chair, he waits patiently. His black sclerae glimmering in the computer light.

"Avevo già dei sospetti sulla picciotta dal primo momento in cui l'ho vista. Inutile dire che ho capito subito avesse una doppia natura. Dal modo in cui si esprime e dalle sue movenze, non sembra assolutamente la ragazzina di campagna che vuol far credere di essere."

(I was already suspicious of the picciotta. Needless to say, I knew right away she had a kind of split personality. From the way she expresses herself and her movements, she definitely doesn't look like the little town girl she wants us to believe)

Everyone else is clinging to Melone's shoulders like a bunch of vultures. The poor guy is currently struggling to get Risotto's Macintosh to turn on.

"Unn'avessi visto i portatile che si porta sui groppone la cittina, avrei fatto la figura de bischero sihuro"

(She would have fooled me... if only I hadn't seen the laptop our little girl carries around all the time.)

counters Melone with an evil grin.

"Spiegati meglio, Melone"

(Please Elaborate,Melone)

"E poi dahe de grullo a me, maremma diavola! Issù Quaderno Olivetti miha ll'è usciho dalla fabbriha 'osi!! La nina e ci sa fare co computer e badahe bene bimbi, non solo co sti trabiccoli. Dianzi l'ho vista traccheggiare co de documenti di morto importanti. C'aveha sotto mano le fedine penali di quarche ganzo che si conosce, fidahevi di me"

(You probably haven't noticed this but her Olivetti notebook is not a factory default model... Looks like our little girl built it from scratch...I also saw her working with some very sensitive documentation. She has some files containing the criminal records of some of Passione's members.)

Formaggio is still skeptical. He continues to over-gesticulate, clearly panicked and in denial.

"...Mo' Cristo è morto co' 'o scuterone! Ora anche avvocato! Ma se per aprire la nutella ha dovuto chiedere a me!Figuriamoci se sa montare un Computer!"

(You must be joking! Why does She need such documentation? Is She a lawyer? Bullshit I tell ya! She asked me how to open a fuckin jar! How could She possibly know how to build a PC?)

"Sanno una sega codesti bischeri, un troiaio del '92 che lavora in MS-DOS eun dovrebbe fa lavora' Linux."

(All I know is that a 1992 computer running MS-DOS shouldn't be able to run Linux.)

"Per me state parlando arabo. Quasi terronico."

(I understood virtually nothing that you said moments ago.)

Illuso jokingly raises his hands as the Macintosh starts turning on.

"La picciotta è stata istruita e vi ha ingannato anche molto bene. Sotto tutti quei sorrisini e carezze si nasconde un demonio."

(That picciotta has some high-level education and had no trouble deceiving you. Beneath all those smiles and kisses a devil is lurking.)

Formaggio goes silent as Prosciutto lits another cigarette after asking permission from the Capo with a nudge.

"...chissà cosa ci combina su quel coso..."

( ...what is she doing on that thing?)

"AH SÌ?ADESSO TI INTERESSA D*OCANE? TI TIRO UNA SMEMENA PORCODIQUELDIO."

(OH YEAH? NOW YOU'RE CONCERNED, PRO? I'M THIS CLOSE TO FUCKING PUNCHING YOU IN THE FACE!! PORCODIQUELDIO)

Ghiaccio didn't get really over Porsciutto's earlier outburst, in fact, he was just waiting for his chance to take revenge on him

"Calmati Ghiaccio."

(Ghiaccio. Chill.)

Melone succeeds in inserting the disk, It contains some documents in txt format. a report to be precise.

"chetti rihordi a "Strage del Brenta" ni '90?"

(Do you guys remember the "Brenta Massacre" of 1990?)

The lavender guy asks, doing a quick check of their glances.

"Eccerto. non siamo mica nati ieri. Hanno deragliato il Regionale 3547 per far fuori dei testimoni e il Ministro antimafia.Nessuno sa chi c'era dietro."

(Of course, we do. We weren't born yesterday. The train Regionale 3547 got derailed to kill some witnesses and the Anti-Mafia Minister. Nobody knows who did it. )

"Spero tu stia scherzando. Come c'entra questo con la novellina?"

(What are you even talking about? How does this have anything to do with the newbie?)

"Maremma maiala, la cittina gli ha fatto un culo com un paiolo! Gli'ha hackerato le habine d'un eurostar e gliel'ha messo n 'n culo pure a un regionale, i du treni si so scontrati e tarabaralla! Guardahe qui, gliè tutto registraho!!"

(Maremma maiala. She is one of the terrorists behind the derailment of the two trains. She managed to hack the control rooms of a Eurostar train and send it in the opposite direction. Then she changed the track of the Regionale and made them collide... these txts contains all the conversations with her partners in crime".)

"D*OCANE!! IO LO SAPEVO CHE C'ERA SOTTO QUALCOSA! ABBIAMO UNA TERRORISTA TRA NOI!"

(D*OCANE!!! I KNEW SOMETHING WAS UP! WE HAVE A TERRORIST AMONG US!)

Ghiaccio tries as always to be loud and confident but he's in a cold sweat. He does not look relieved in the slightest that his suspicions were actually true. Melone quickly interrupts him:

"ni 94 i fratelli Noce so sparihi. Uno co la testa schiacciaha come le piattole sotto un bancomat in zona Pilastro a Bologna e quellattro a spiedino su una delle due torri, voi fahe i'cche vi pare. IO TELO, ADDIO NINI!"

(And there's more. August of 1994, the assassination of the Noce brothers, one of them was found in the Pilastro zone of Bologna with his head crushed under an ATM. The other was impaled on top of one of the two towers. THIS IS GREAT! SHE'S GREAT!)

Melone sounds really ecstatic as he scrolls through the files. Now He is obsessed He already found you attractive from the very beginning, but now that he is familiar with your background, he is quivering to get to know you even deeper. What hideous creature could you possibly create with his babyface?

"Dev'essere assolutamente una stand user ma-"

(She must be a stand user and a-)

"Ni 91 gliera coinvolta 'n un attentaho e gli'ha pure morto uno a Siena, ni 92 casini a Poggibonsi e ni 94 un romanaccio dell'antimafia è andaho a raccontà favole alle nutrie ni tevere...Io c'ho paura bimbi"

(1991. Involved in the Stazione Centrale bombing. Still 1991, Assassination in Siena. 1992, Assassination in Poggibonsi. 1994 Rome, Anti-Mafia minister drowned in the Tiber...Look at me bimbi, I'm shaking!)

Melone keeps scrolling through the files relentlessly with almost inhumane speed. His other teammates are definitely not used to it and are having a hard time following the text with their eyes. Formaggio and Illuso are speechless right now and they're exchanging really confused looks. Probably because of Melone's accent.

"Ti prego Melone, usala una "C" qualche volta..."

(Please Melone, stop talking so fast...)

"Io non ci credo che sia una terrorista,è una 'uagliona così buona e gentile."

(I can't believe it, she is such a good and kind girl...)

Pesci seems particularly disappointed with the recent findings. Prosciutto on the other hand is not impressed in the slightest. In fact, he now seems only more intrigued to make your acquaintance. After taking a long drag from his Marlboro, he calmly throws the smoke up and moves closer to the screen to read more closely. In response, Melone tilts his head away from the man to avoid the secondhand smoke.

"Sembra che la nostra Lucciolina sia sempre rimasta coinvolta in vari omicidi e attentati.... E tutti contro ministri o personalità 'Anti-mafia'."

(It seems that our Firefly has always been involved in various assassinations and terrorist attacks... And all against ministers or 'Anti-Mafia' figures.)

"Ho capito tutto. Faceva quasi sicuramente parte della "Spazzacadaveri".

(Now it's all crystal clear. She was part of the "Spazzacadaveri" team)

"CHE?"

(THE WHAT?)

" 'Spazza-cadaveri' sono dei killer professionisti che si occupano solo di testimoni e associazioni antimafia. Ho già avuto a che fare con loro in passato. Operano soprattutto in Nord Italia e sono quasi tutti liberi professionisti che si associano alle varie bande per un motivo o per l'altro. "

( 'Spazza-cadaveri' literally: 'Body-sweepers' are professional killers who only target witnesses and anti-mafia associations. I have dealt with them before. They mainly work in Northern Italy and are all freelance killers who join the various gangs for one reason or another.)

"Con quanta sicurezza e leggerezza hanno lasciato che entrasse in squadra...Quale potrebbe essere la sua prossima vittima?"

(They let her in so confidently and nonchalantly...Who could be her next target?)

The whole team starts looking down on each other suspiciously. The Macintosh is turned off.

[multifandomwritings]

Hiii, I'd like to request a writing for how it would be to watch horror movies with dirk and todd ♡ Thankyouuu :D

I hope you like it! I included Bart lol :^)

Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency | Watching horror movies with them would include:

Dirk:

- Gets super excited when you suggest watching a movie together. He'll happily hop onto the couch (not until there are popcorn/snacks available, of course), excited to see what you've picked

-...So when he realizes you've chosen a horror movie, he'll be less than enthusiastic. Really, Y/N? (sassy glare)

- Not that he's really opposed. As the story continues he'll become invested in the mystery and ~horror~ of it all. He'll be going on and on about the characters/plot/his theories on what sort of twists will happen until he finally gets so invested you just look over and he's transfixed on the screen (but also will snap out of it here and there just to judge people's bad choices throughout the movie lol)

- He's pretty easily frightened and startled, and might very well close his eyes at the squeamish parts, but he doesn't hate it

Todd:

- From this group, he'd easily be the best movie-watching partner. Won't talk as much (besides the occasional comment here and there) and will actually enjoy it, depending on what type of horror movie it is

- Makes snacks in advance and will lay out a spread of both your favorite random things to snack on while you watch together

- You smile over at him every time he jumps and he's just like what??? (embarrassed) (but also does the same to you so)

- Jokingly judges your taste in movies if it's your pick. Genuinely doesn't mind though but probably gets squeamish/tenses up if it's something too intense. If he likes you though he'll try to not let it bother him because he'd be set on impressing you and going along with your tastes x_x

Bart:

- Bart would go along with whatever you liked, curious to learn about things and wouldn't be choosy about what you did together

- However, it's best to pick a movie you've seen before unless you don't mind not being able to actually pay attention to the movie. Because she'll ask questions and talk from start to finish :^)

- Will get genuinely frightened (and loud) if it's a supernatural/jumpscare-filled horror movie (grabs your arm so hard at tense scenes it will throb for hours) but if it's a slasher or something, she'll sort of begin to identify with the killer lol

- However, she may or may not be sleeping the following night if it's the former. Stuff like that isn't real, is it? 👀