#well their roommate is showing signs of covid and both of them are vaxxed but still caught it

[travelingthief]

My Favorite Moment With: Lord Apollo

It was my first long haul drive by myself, but I had a good CD collection, so I didn’t mind. My ‘06 Ford shook when I took her above 70 but that didn’t stop me from from hitting 80 while screaming the lyrics to “Open Road Song” by Eve 6. The sun shone down on the newly bloomed trees and I knew at the end of this drive was a pretty person waiting to take me to a punk show. I switched CDs at a gas station stop, putting in Aerosmith and having visions of Apollo and Hermes rocking out with big hair. Both were sat next to me in the passenger seat.

I arrived at the person’s house, meeting their dog and roommate before we headed out to the show. We were laughing as I spun them on street corners and asked about their favorite bands. Somewhere along the way I asked them about their favorite flowers and they told me “hyacinths.” 

I grinned wide, “have you heard the myth?”

It was the first time I told a story to somebody, but I kinda nailed it. I left out the part where I practiced in the mirror twenty times over. I delivered my last line - “and from the blood of His beloved, Apollo crafted the first hyacinth.” We looked down to see we had stopped in front of a spray of hyacinths and I thanked Apollo silently.

The outside of the venue looked like a redemption center. We went down a ramp to the admissions desk veiled behind a cloud of smoke and I teemed with excitement. We were there to see one of my favorite local bands, and it was one of our first dates. The lady at the table asked for proof of COVID vaccinations and I start to kick myself. Now, I am vaxxed and I am boosted but what I am not, is smart enough to keep my vaccine card on me. We got turned away and my brain starts running through its usual script-

“You fucked it all up. The night is ruined. How could you be so stupid?”

But it’s not my first round with depression, so I counter back. “It’s not a big deal, we can find something else to do. The night has been going great.”

But my brain persisted. “You always mess things up. Why would they want to be here with you?”

I countered again. “That’s not the truth. We’re still having a good night.”

So my brain tried a new tactic. “Isn’t it pathetic how you manage to be sad, even when things are going well?” I hadn’t figured out how to think myself out of that one. So I shut down.

My depression gets physical and I tend to go nonverbal and seem disinterested in conversation when I’m depressed. So instead of talking, I offered my date an earbud and we just walked along the river.

The rest of the weeked, I swung back and forth between depression and feeling okay. I reassured my date that it wasn’t them - my brain just gets mean sometimes. They told me they understood. I was relieved yet disappointed when it came time to leave, but I hopped in my car and started my second long haul drive.

I realized there was a downside to long drives alone. My brain continued on about how terrible I made the weekend and fretted about if I’d get a text back. I tried and tried, but the music couldn’t get loud enough to distract me from the thoughts. I ended up pulling off at an exit halfway through the drive: I didn’t know where I was going, I just knew I had to find something.

The first right was a local music store and I immediately pulled in. I closed my eyes and asked “Lord Apollo, if you’re there give me a sign.” I cut the engine and went inside. They were playing the same Aerosmith CD I had listened to on my drive down and I hummed along while sifting throught the stacks. Somehow I ended up in the Local Section, holding a CD with a parental advisory sticker and artwork of a kid staring down multiple doors. I had never heard of the artist before and had no idea what kind of music was on the disc, but I bought it anyway. 

With a bit of effort, I popped the CD into my semi-broken disc drive and pulled out of the parking lot. The first song started up; horns and drums and a beat I could get into. Then the lyrics started:

Welcome to your 20s baby, I know you’re gonna do amazing/All you gotta do is get it, all you gotta do is get it

And the artist broke down into a rap. Suddenly the rest of the drive didn’t seem so long. I thank Apollo for His sign and when I got home, I texted my date.

And they texted back.

And that’s (one of) my favorite moment(s) with Lord Apollo.

[beaversatemygrandma]

Currently reeling over the fact that my mom told me I’m going to end up with survivor’s guilt after the next covid wave here bc I’m the only person in this trailer park who’s vaxxed. Currently, there’s a wave starting. And I’m scared she’s gonna be right.