#what a fucking amazing book tho to induce all of that

[cassmouse]

Okay. Okay okay okay so I am very very close to the end of Bunny I probably should be finishing it but this is so obscenely horrifying, hallucinogenic and absolutely fucking devastating that I can't physically bring myself to

[emiliosandozsequence]

what scifi media do you like?

OH ANON I HAVE SO MANY. i'm so glad you asked 💕💕💕 (tagging @gorydean too so she sees 💕💕💕)

gotta start first and foremost with the sparrow series by mary doria russell as my blog is basically just a shrine to it at this point. amazing book and definitely recommend it if you love found family, first contact, trauma, tragedy, and the abandonment of the faithful by g-d. huge massive trigger warning tho. everyone says the second book isn't as good as the first, but i completely disagree. i think they're bitg equally as good as each other; the second book just takes awhile to get to the most insanity inducing parts whereas the first one starts out strong with that and keeps going until the end of the story.

i would have more books to recommend, but i've only just started REALLY getting back into reading after several years of not reading as much due to a variety of reasons (mostly trauma and chronic and mental illness). that being said, i have an insane amount of films to give you to watch instead of books.

gotta recommend my all time fav film (or one of the two anyway), the fountain. most people...don't like this movie because they think it's hard to understand and doesn't make sense towards the end (i had to watch it several times to get it), but please please please watch it. it's a beautiful film both visually and plotwise as long as you give it a chance 💕

sound of my voice is softer in terms of scifi, but still definitely scifi. it's another film that lets you decide what to believe. it's also another film people tend not to like for whatever reason, but i think it's extremely well done and the ending is so 💕💕💕💕💕💕

cloud atlas. very much a story in the same vein as the fountain taking place over different timelines. another beautifully done story about how everything and everyone is connected throughout space and time. ofc my fav timelines are the ones with robert frobisher and sonmi-451. i do also recommend the book, but i liked the film better because of a few of the changes they made.

sunshine is one of my fav films ever and i've loved it since i was in high school and first saw it. it reminds me a lot of three body problem in the sense that antagonist (idk if i would exactly call him a villain even tbh) is using g-d as a reason for the things he's doing. there's a few deleted scenes i wish they'd kept in because it really emphasizes this, but even so, this film is gorgeous in so many ways.

i origins. if u can't tell already i'm a huge brit marling fan and i think this is one of her best stories. again: you get to choose what to believe and you really have to watch the whole film for the pay off, but it is so very much worth it. i think i've actually only ever watched this film once, tho idk why bc it's genuinely one of my favs.

looper is another film that idk why more people weren't into it. the setting is dystopian. i was trying to think of a way to explain it in a few short sentences like i have the rest of the films here, but it's one of those films also that i think going into it knowing nothing is better. the kid who plays the rainmaker is so fucking good too. he's not even 10, but he played that role perfectly.

elysium. EVERYONE KNOWS DISTRICT 9 BUT NO ONE KNOWS ELYSIUM. i stand by my opinion that this film would be infinitely better if diego luna were the main character instead of matt damon, but even so i really love this film. the score is gorgeous. also lmao we for real might be living in this universe soon if elon fixes up that space hotel he wants to do fucking rip

ender's game. the author is a homophobic and transphobic dickwad who actively gives his money to anti-lgbt organizations, so watch this for free if you can (and buy the books second hand), but i actually really enjoyed what they did with this film. a lot of people thought it was too rushed, but also like....ender's game is a very Dense book, so i understand why they did it the way they did it. also the score is amazing.

signs. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact. this film gets shit on a ton for reasons i do not know, but it's actually really well done. it scared the ever living shit out of me the first few times i saw it tho bc i did Not grow up watching horror.

knowing. another film involving g-d and religion seen through the lens of scifi and first contact (can you tell i have a type of film/media i like???). this film also scared the ever living shit out of me when i first saw it to the point i had to sleep with the lights on, but in all actuality it isn't scary at all (i was just 14 and had never seen a thriller before lol). i really love disaster films tbh, but this is one of my all time favs (next to greenland).

another earth i did not like when i first saw it. i thought the whole thing was kind of pointless and didn't make very much sense, but the more i've thought about it since then, the more i've understood it. funnily enough, i never watched it a second time, but it's brit marling, so i probably will eventually. again: definitely recommend.

lucy. listen i know this has scarlett johansson in it and none of us like her, but this film is good despite her. i thought it was going to be dumb as hell when i first saw it, but i actually ended up liking it so much that it's heavily inspired the next novel i'm planning on writing (a scifi space opera about a girl becoming g-d).

origami. okay this one is difficult to find and you WILL have to buy it if you want to watch it (trust me: i have searched FAR and wide for this film in any other place and vimeo is the ONLY place i found it; it's only $5 to rent on there tho), but it's so worth it. it's worth it. it's one of my fav films and i watched it purely because of francois arnaud and i'm glad i did. this literally is his best work imo.

ink is my all time hands down favorite film. idk if you would even call it scifi, but i love it so much i just wanted to talk about it. it very obviously had zero budget, but they used what little money they had VERY wisely and the result was this beautiful film. the story makes me sob every single time. actually it's quite similar to origami, so if you like one, you'll probably like the other.

tron: legacy is another film that people shit on and idk why. it has The Best religious imagery. like how are you going to top one of the programs falling to their knees in prayer as flynn passes by????? the whole thing seems to be a jesus/judas metaphor anyway and i'm crazy for that shit. gotta mention the score as always because daft punk knocked it out of the park (people shit on the score too and i really don't get why).

thelma. i watched this one a whim with a friend and i cannot recommend it enough. i feel like it was kind of popular on here when it first came out bc it's a sapphic film, but it's also just very good in general. i've seen people get super upset about it also bc their interpretation makes it lesbophobic (which is crazy to me but whatever.

melancholia. i did Not like this movie for the longest time, but then i watched it recently and finally Got it. i guess you really do have to be a certain level of depressed to understand this film, so if you're insanely suicidal and can barely function like me, then i recommend it. you will probably get some catharsis out of it like i did. it is a very Strange film tho.

the creator came out at the end of last year and it was so good. definitely my fav film to come out in the last few years and involves g-d, religion, and AI. the score also in this is great (everybody say thank you hans zimmer. again.). the ending makes me sob so much.

more that i love a lot, but not as much (apparently there's a character limit, so i can't explain why these are my favs too, but it's for similar reasons as above).

the matrix trilogy

the fifth element

snowpiercer

blade runner 2049

as for tv shows, i don't have as many, but i do have a few that i would highly recommend if you like any of the films above:

halo. again: everyone shits on this show, but the absolute TRAGEDY of it is the fanboys hate it bc they suck and are bigots and everyone else who would like it (LIKE MY MUTUALS) refuses to give it a chance because of its overall reputation, so i'm BEGGING YOU GUYS TO GIVE IT A CHANCE.

foundation. genuinely fucking good. so much of what the creators of this show have done to change the story has been for the better. i read the books and they were okay, but the show is so so good. idk when season 3 will be coming out, but hopefully soon (same for halo, which i actually like better than this show).

the oa. i will forever mourn what we could've had with this show. i can't even talk about it without getting choked up. this getting canceled really truly fucked me up.

castle rock season 1. technically a horror series, but this season is more scifi than horror, i think. everything really comes to a head in episode 9 iirc and that episode still makes me crazy when i think about it. i definitely need to do a rewatch.

firefly/serenity. you've probably heard this one recommended before, but there's a reason for that. it's really so good, but g-d and jesus hate me because it too was canceled before it could even finish ONE SEASON. thankfully there's a film that kind of ties everything together, but WE COULD'VE HAD SO MUCH MORE.

i tried to put in some movies that aren't talked about as much on here!! i also have several letterboxd lists dedicated purely to scifi, which you can find below.

holy holy holy (scifi (and other films) involving religious imagery or straight up just about theology

the sparrow cinematic universe (films that are either discussed in the sparrow or remind me of it or that i could see the main characters watching)

but it was my body. it was my blood. and it was my love. (films that i either genuinely believe could be based off of the sparrow or just remind me of it in some way)

per aspera ad astra (scifi films i have seen or heard of. this literally is every single scifi film i remember ever in existence so it's quite long)

also mainstream scifi that i recommend/am obsessed with

interstellar

dune series (wer'e talking about the books here; not whatever the fuck denis villenueve pulled with the films lmao)

district 9

annihilation/southern reach trilogy

ex machina

prometheus

pacific rim

arrival

event horizon

mad max: fury road

nope

mobile suit gundam series (mostly hathaway and g-witch tho)

star wars (mostly the prequel and sequel trilogies)

nausicaa of the valley of the wind

castle in the sky

inception

tenet

high life

aldnoah zero

hanna

real steel

86: eighty-six

this is so much longer than i meant it to be omg. anyway people do not call me the scifi queen for no reason.

[wellgoslowly]

book 3 came in today

so far here are my thoughts:

i am hurt

i am sad

pip deserves so much better

the parallel between pills and cases is amazing even tho it hurts SO BAD

i really really like how this book portrays human stories where there’s right and wrong mixed up in a huge pain inducing mess

pip’s anger and sadness and trauma and trying to cope but doing it wrong and she knows it’s wrong but what else is she supposed to do it’s just all too relatable

it’s like every anxiety and anger and stress i get thinking about this fucked up world was acknowledged and the book was looking back at me and telling me that i’m not alone and i’m not crazy for being so confused and even tho it’s sort of depressing it’s also very comforting

dude the third book is crazy it drove me fucking bonkers

[gayraccoonthing]

Okay, I just got back from my two day trip and LET ME TELL YOU, I'm not lying when I say that shit was fucking AMAZING!

(Small note, this is mostly about the LGBTQ rep there. There was a lot of awesome POC rep, too, but I don't feel qualified to talk about that.)

So, first, we went to the Minnesota zoo (pretty awesome ngl) and saw lots of cool animals and scenery (shit was expensive tho lmao).

Then I got to go to Barnes and nobles (fucking score) got some Adam silvera books and left for the science museum.

And when I tell you this museum was one of the best places I've ever been in, I MEAN IT.

Because HOLY SHIT, it was so welcoming and inclusive, and that's not even going into detail right now. (Images and positive rant under cut)

OKAY! I'll do my best to describe the pictures a bit. Let me go on this positive rant about the museum and it's LGBTQ inclusivity because OH MY GOD.

So, we explored the first floor exhibitions a bit before going off to the omni theater (think movie theater but with a big ass screen that's curved to give the illusion you're in the place it shows on screen, hella headache inducing but fun. Don't recommend it for those with light, sound, or just general sensitivity issues. If I wasn't sensory seeking, it'd be hell.) And the ads go on the screen (ads for the museum, not other companies) and this comes up!

It's hard to read, but I figured a visual may help.

The header at the top says, "Pride in STEM" the paragraph below states as following, "We celebrate the scientists creating a world that's inclusive instead of exclusive, diverse instead of uniform, and powered by the communities they hold. Together, we can make a better place for science itself. Learn more at 500queerscientists.com" and FUCK, if I didn't already love the museum enough.

We go through all the exhibits and floors, all extremely awesome and educational, very hands-on (lots of hand sanitizer too) the dinosaur section was awesome, I loved sportsology (I don't even like sports), the human body section was fascinating, seeing the natural life in Minnesota was so cool, the musical stairs were so fucking fun, the tugboat was amazing, and there's so much more I loved.

And then the giftshop. God damn I loved that gift shop. (What's that one meme? The tumblr post. The one with the three dragons, idk.) And I start to look through, and there's an LGBTQ section!!! It's small, but it's so much more than any other gift shop I've seen.

(Picture from far away, couldn't get too close because my mom) (also, no more images in this post from here on, just so you know)

I ended up getting some awesome enamel pins and a small magnet and cheap button pin. And in the pin display, there was a whole lgbtq section for pins!! I got this trans dopamine test tube pin (pray to God my mom didn't see, I had to get brave and ask the person myself, lmao) unfortunately I didn't get a picture of the pin display, but it was so fucking awesome to see.

The staff were all so nice, SO FUCKING NICE YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

but this one lady at the register for the gift shop, I swear, she's amazing. I walked up with my pins to pay, and she looks at me, and I see her protect trans kids pin and her she/her pronoun pin, and I don't think I've ever felt more safe and secure in my life. And she looks at my pins (either my aroace pin on my bag or my new trans pin, no idea) and says to me, "you're just like me, I don't see a lot of people like us here." In such a sweet voice, I swear to God I MELTED right then and there (not actually, but in my head I'm screaming with pure happiness) and she smiles at me the whole time, and I'm just so fucking happy!

And on my way out, this person almost walks into me, and they say, "Sorry there, son." And, OH. MY. GOD. SON!!!! They looked at me, this 5'4, not passing at all, long hair, fem faced, me, and called me son!!! It could have so easily been some mistake (probably was), but, God, it feels so damn nice to be called son by a stranger! The gender euphoria is real rn.

I genuinely love that museum so much. It fills me with life.

So, if you're ever in St. Paul MN and looking for a good museum I highly encourage you to go there. It's amazing and I love it.

[i-need-air]

Hey it's me again ❤️

I'm just gonna whisper something in your mind (is that even possible?)

Having a baby with Hybrid Katsuki.

Just that. Imagine girl. Perfection.

Ok, real talk here. Every time I see a request from you I uwu a little bit bc I know for a fact whatever you're requesting will make me get so immersed and involved and I'm gonna 💕💞AAAAAA💕💞 while writing AND [lemmecatchmybreath] it happened once again skdjdkfkf Hope you enjoy and sorry it took longer than normal~

Word count: 1.8k

× listen 🥺 I already started and I'm melting, ok?

× when he finds out you're having a smol baby together?

× he freezes and looks at you in a whole different light

× if you're getting pregnant, he will definitely smell the change in your scent and will know even before you do; he'd be instantly by your side with a bewitched expression on his face, taking your cheeks into his palms to just soak everything in yet he's shaking slightly

× and even if you adopt [hopefully a smol hybrid], something deep inside of Katsuki, burried and long forgotten surfaces

× this is the life he always wanted, he always craved even in his darker moments

× this happiness, this fulfillment, this joy

× I absolutely believe he will diligently read and learn everything about the baby to come; will educate himself like no other, deciding to be the very best father he could ever be

× his life was rough and he was stolen away from his biological family, he will now have a chance to have his own and he will not fail you or the baby

× when you hold the little bundle of sunshine in your hands, head down admiring the beauty of a new life, he will stand there, again in shock, again soaking this moment in... so beautiful, so perfect

× will he ever tell you that? of course not; angry ass wild pomeranian—

× but his face gives him away every single time and when you tilt yourself to hand him his new son or daughter, he falls in love for the second time in his life;

× he burries his nose in the soft and fragile skin of the baby's head and breathes in, his instinct kicking in to defend, protect, care, look out for...

× watch carefully because once the baby makes a noise, he'll still, unsure of what to do, but smile so softly as the baby coos in his arms securely; that right there is the best image you can have of soft Katsuki.

× the first few weeks are actually horrible, sorry to break it to everyone aksjskdj not because he doesn't know what to do or does not want to help; on the contrary, he is so incredibly attentive but he also recites the books he learned by memory at this point and it's getting absolutely infuriating;

× although understand him, please; he wants to prove he's a good dad 🥺 except you wanna smack him bc he scoffs if you suggest something he isn't sure about.

× you will find him standing by the baby's crib as it sleeps; he's just???? making sure this is not a dream????? don't question anything though

× can we hc Bakugou with a daughter too? [ already established in the Hybrid!Kiri hcs that Kiri'd have daughter bUT i just really really like beefy men with tiny daughters;;; my heartttt;;; ]

× his little angel, no discussion, no argument, his daughter can do NO WRONG!

× he's very down to earth though, don't get me wrong, he just absolutely adores spoiling her

× speaks softly into her ear, the lowest you'd hear from him

× gruff, raspy, gutural voice ofter overused to scream now low and soft as he holds her into his chest; doesn't do baby-voices or anything like that, but calls her his angel then smirks at you if you're watching;;; then starts softly complaining and bitching about you to the baby 💀 all while rubbing her back

× omfg his hand is as big as her tiny back; guys, call an ambulance, I'm—

× Katsuki would be the type of little shit to pull what I just said then grab you and glue you to his chest too; he'd look down at you both, eyes shining in such adoration he'd take your breath away just before he continues his ranting about you;

× once the baby starts being more interactive, her giggles specially the ones induced by her daddy will make him melt; absolute diminute baby with a small wiggling tail clapping her chubby hands at her dad? his eyes would widen suddently, ears snapping high in surprise and he's taken back by the emotions overtaking him

× he's gone, man; she has him wrapped around her tiny little finger and you can't do anything about it

× instantly acts all in denial if someone is around though; scoffs to hide is obvious smile, placing a palm on his mouth to further block it out and tickles her with the other, earning another fit of giggles

× please, don't tell him his whole tail is waving from side to side

× the only clear giveaway apart from his ears and it's;;; a d o r a b l e;;;

× specially when your daughter also starts wagging her tail in response whenever he does it;

× "Hey, come see what the dumbass is doing!" or "Look at what she did" while showing you a video; proud pappa 🥺

× we're bringing back Proud Bakugou bc hIS DAUGHTER iS tHe BeSt; no, seriously, his kid is the mf best in the world and he will start this presentation with—

× now sit down with me and accept this: the baby; yes, your sweet daughter; mhm, that adorable screeching angel; mhm;;; she'll talk so early it's disturbing.

× at 6 months or so she's already saying mamma, dadda, kitty, woof-woof

× seriously terrifying how sharp she is and how she cannot shut up; for the love of gOd, Katsuki, this is all your fault... it doesn't matter, he just smirks as he has another reason to brag to anyone about his child

× did that street vendor look at him funny? "I'M GONNA FUCKING TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAUGHTER—"

× super-protective of her and fucking hates with a burning passion if anyone dares to do that thing where they match up babies saying "Maybe they'll get married when they grow up"

× hands down, no filter, he just looks deep down in whoever had the audacity and says "Like fucking shit they'd deserve her."

× drag him away before he throws fists

× he will definitely if you don't drag him away and you know it, they know it, the baby knows it and cheers for pappa, the whole world knows it at this point and they're buying tickets to watch the shitshow

× chest carrier and walks around with the kid like a boss

× man has shit to do, don't even dare to judge him;

× handles fits really well, he's impressive to say at least

× she's spoiled, yes and always has new toys, coloring books, whatever she wants but the moment she throws fits, he puts his foot down

× baby would be smol angery bb all adorable in all her Bakugou genetics anger and he'd just stare, tapping his foot

× literally waits in place until she calms and looks up at him with big, round eyes, puffy red cheeks and ears lowered

× mission accomplished; he nods then picks her up;

× and you're there amazed??????

× "The fuck you lookin' at?" lil shit still has a foul mouth tho, but make him get just as pouty and embarrassed as the child in his arms by saying something cheesy like "How amazing you are as a dad 💕"

× all rainbows and unicorns until she starts repeating insults and fr tho, Katsu almost shits his pants, fearing your reaction. Will, hands down, chill out with the insults even if he meant no damage with them; he has this unreadable expression on, a mix of shame and fluster, dread too? he's sorry, ok????

× loves, loves, loves cooking for you both and once the kiddo has her own special chair to sit at the dining table together, that's when he sees it: his dream

× you, wiping some food off her cheek with a loving expression, talking about your day casually, baby giggling while she moves her face away playfully; he loves you both so much.

× has these rare moments where, at the end of the day once you're settled in bed, he'd hug you tight and thank you in his mind for... for this... all of it...

× once she starts walking they're both a disaster

× seriously, do not expect the household to be silent ever again [ well, that dream was gone long ago anyway lol ]

× "Where the fuck do you think you're goin'?"

× rapid giggle running around from place to place

× "Oh, for fucks—"

× "Katsuki." you only need to say, catching him in his insults

× 😳 ... "Kid, come back, we're goin' to the park." Skdjkdfkl

× sudden adorable tiny fast steps approach him bc they're going for walkies!

× he is very careful with her and teaches her about stranger danger; also teaches her how to growl and even if her attempt is a total failure, small rawr leaving her lips, he's like "Yes. Good job. Now give it more heart."

× he growls as an example

× she growls back, sounding like a cute lil pup 🥺💕

× as she grows up, she obviously acts more like her father yet he knows when to stop the bad behaviors and it only takes a warning growl from him to get her to cease

× yet somehow you're the strict parent at the end of the day??????? tf????????? who made the rules??????

× starts calling her brat, squirt, lil shit 💕lovingly💕

× "your child" if she did something bad

× "Your fucking child kicked the ball into the vase and broke it." Aha, nice one, Katsuki. Good job.

× not to brag but her puppy eyes don't work on him but yours do; the problem is her puppy eyes do work on you bc she's the light of your life so if she wants something; she'll puppy-eye you knowing you'll get it for her bc daddy loves you very much 💕💞

× literally evil mastermind; didn't I tell you she's sharp? pft, she's playing you both so hard

× every day he comes back from work she runs to him at the door, tail wiggling happily behind her as she stretches her arms to be picked up and he always does, without a doubt, then proceeds to kiss the top of her head

× come out to greet him too? the whole loving routine is his absolute thing and wants to see you, have you kiss his cheek; he complains but adores it soooooo much!

× you have a family night; BONDING WITH MOODY POMERANIANS. Yes, plural, and it sounds perfect~

× even if it's just one of those animated movies he hates so much, he'll watch through all of it and make sarcastic comments just to make you both laugh; will grin satisfied asf if he manages to do so bc he's the best.

× will definitely want another kid, so how about maybe a boy??? hmm???

× asks you if you're up for the idea and if you agree, he'll roll his eyes and crack his shoulders, acting so very uninterested and purely exhausted yet his smirk would give him away:

× "Knew you'd torture me with another devil"

× throw him out, istg— 💀

[roguestarsailor]

thoughts on a court of mist and fury *spoilers*

***** lots of spoilers folks *****

- MY GIRL FEYRE IS READING!! SHES READING LIKE REGULARLY AND CASUALLY IM SO PROUD

- RHYSAND MY LOVE I TAKE BACK ALL THE BAD THINGS I SAID IN BOOK ONE AND YOU ARE A BABY THAT NEEDS TO BE LOVED AND PROTECTED AND DESERVE PEACE AND QUIET AND MORE LOVE

- tamlin needs therapy like pronto; we dont stan a unsupportive partner and partner who is unwilling to share pain!! CANCEL TAMLIN 2020

- rhys popping up during the wedding scene was *chef’s kiss* and i noticed that he didn’t “claim” her as he said he would for like three months after everything. i suspect he was being a good person and literally letting her live her life. also for loving someone, tamlin was super chill and just kind of let her go??? idk i thought there would be more of a fight??? when feyre was literally like why are your claws retracting man?? fight for me??? hello??? but then again rhys is definitely more powerful than tamlin and probs some unspoken laws and such between high lords i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ anyways tamlin aint shit

- page 296-298! fucken shook me to my core. that self awareness, that confrontation, she identified the core of everything and it was such a turning point and im just so proud of her!!! She's recognizing her traumas and is healing!!!!!!!!!!

- yeah i immediately ship cassian and nesta; i hope she fucks shit up in the next book  😀 😀 😀 😀  

- maybe az and mor are truly the slowest of slow burns   ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

- i pictured pollution from good omens as how Amren is suppose to look like

- rhys is such a strong leader and im just -- baby deserves all the love. He's really good at plotting. He really made feyre learn all these things so they can nurture their love but also be a strategic advantage its interesting that even tho theres love there he still treats her like a weapon

- the joy in his rhys eyes when they winnowed into his regular ass town house that feels super lived in. and his friends banging on the door like he isn’t the feared night court high lord that he is. that was so refreshing to see that hes a regular person and not that high lord man who lives in a near empty mansion. he puts on a mask for everyone but he himself is just a regular fae.  

- reading about the peace that velaris was able to live through was beautiful. i imagined a city like san francisco with the hills and views of the ocean but kind of like the peace found in super small towns or cities in asia; maybe even some european cities (which is prob where this location is inspired by but i haven’t visited many euro cities). the scenes of ppl dining out, making art and music and just chilling is so lovely esp given our current pandemic. art is so treasured there and im like thats the epitome of a great society isn’t it? being able to do things because you just can without the pain of financial insecurity, civil unrest, etc. i definitely would love and die and for a society like that. its just so wonderful. i was filled w happiness while reading those scenes. :)

- rhys and his inner circle taking feyre out into the town and just being casual. nobody treats them like theyre royalty or anything special. theyre just a regular group of friends who enjoy hanging out. its super nice and nostalgia inducing esp during this pandemic when friends are so far away and not like it used to be.

- when rhys immediately saw how under weight and dead freye looked when she was in spring court -- AND IT WAS THE FIRST THING HE SAID TO HER WHEN HE SAW HER THROUGH THE DOOR WHILE TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN NOTICE

- i also take back my frustrations in book 1 when freye always wondering around the grounds in spring court esp during calanmai. i thought it was because the author needed to move the story forward but its just freye. she doesnt sit still and now that shes w rhys, we are seeing soooooo many things about prythian and thats beautiful. tamlin was truly a hinderance huh

- rhys sent her music when she was in the cell in Under The Mountain which was found in velaris. maybe he wasnt risking a lot but he just showed her a glimpse of the forbidden world right under aramantha’s nose holy shit he saved her from destruction!

- when rhys had his nightmare and feyre came to comfort him and kissed him on the cheeks and gave him such tenderness made my heart sing~

- rhys is literally opposite of tamlin is soooo many ways. RHYS DID THINGS OUT OF LOVE, WHILE TAMLIN DID THINGS FOR LOVE. everything from how rhys made sure feyre can grow into who she is meant to be, to how he introduces her to his friends and how he interacts w everyone in his court, how he handles pain, everything is so different than tamlin. tamlin feels pain and just bulldoze over things, doesn’t think about how his actions are hurting others even as he is hurting. he doesn’t talk, he doesn’t share, he doesn’t try to get himself or feyre out of this misery and just sees threats everywhere and hits them. he was also supper passive honestly. no doubt hes riddled w guilt and grief but can’t figure out how to handle it so he uses feyre as his crutch where if he can “save” her he will be free smh

- rhys PAYS feyre!! HE GAVE HER FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE AND RESPECT FOR HER WORK!! THE INDEPENDENCE THAT TAMLIN DIDNT FUCKEN GIVE.

- THOSE NOTES THEY SEND TO EACH OTHER SINCE FREYE CAN READ AND WRITE NOW

- Ianthe was sus from the beginning!! i knew it!! although i did bet she was gonna sleep w tamlin on the side. But she's a lot worst so we don't like her either

- the throne room scene was steamy af this time its fine because there was ~consent~ and also because we see the dynamic and growth between the two and how they work together. this was great although I was kind of like pls get a room tho

- RHYS SMILING!!! FEYRE AND RHYS LAUGHING TOGETHER UGH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

- THEY ARE MATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FEYRE AND RHYS FOUND EACH OTHER AND HAD SO MANY SHARED TRAUMAS AND WORKED IT OUT TOGETHER AND GREW TOGETHER AND LEARNED ABOUT EACH OTHERS QUIRKS AND ITS JUST LOVE IN ITS PUREST FORM UGH THAT SCENE WHERE RHYS WAS CRYING AND FEYRE HEATED UP FOOD FOR THE BABY AHH MY HEARTTTTT  MY WHOLE ENTIRE HEARTTTTTT IS BURSTING WITH LOVEEEEEE

- LUCIEN AND ELAINE HOLY FUCK WHAT A LEFT FIELDER i hope this is the push that will propel lucien to defy tamlin. going back to the contrast between how tamlin vs his court and rhys vs his court, rhys has a group of unwavering loyal friends and are treated equally esp letting them joke around so much and it feels like a casual group of friends hanging out. tamlin has just as much loyalty from lucien but theres still a power structure that tamlin maintains. luciens words doesn’t have much weight whereas rhys’s friends do. both tamlin and rhys have so much power and sway and similarity in traumas and tragedy but both execute things completely differently. tamlin only wants to upload what he is familiar with, maybe what he thinks his father wants whereas rhys actively tries to think of something better, to change the system regardless of how hard it is.

- tamlin you dumbass. He didn't learn from amarantha. He again let his pride fuck over a bunch of other ppl. He shat on amarantha and fucked over his court. Now he fucked the rest of prythian and human world by bargaining w the king. Smh goodbye tamlin

- I straight up knew the queens were bad!!! I knew they had to be plotting something. The sixth is "ill" my ass.

- LADY OF THE NIGHT COURT LETS GO FEYRE AND WOOWW WE STAN A MAN BREAKING TRADITIONS AND SUPPORTING EQUALITY

- when hybern was destroying velaris. I WAS GONNA THROW HANDS BRO. I'm glad we saw the extend of how powerful feyre could be and how she was clever and we can really see how she's completely different from before. She has bite and fight in her and it's so refreshing!

- how about we let az and cassian live in peace. Those boys had to deal w the blunt of literally everything. from being the only shield in valeris to poison/hurt wings against the king, just beat up all the time 🥺

- suriel is their version of a wikipedia

--

I read all 600 damn pages in like 2.5 days and I was loving it the entire time! My heart sored when feyre and Rhys were getting close and starting to break down their walls and really connect. This was a truly good enemies to lovers, slow burn tale and the drama is so great. There were good stakes that changes a character and their behavior and a good balance of action and excitement but at the same time so many little moments that let u see the character and how they interact w each other and the world. a lot of big plot moments, slice of life moments, a bit of romance and comedy. overall, an amazing book but super long. thus far this is my favorite book and im hoping the rest of the books can be just as charming and lovely but not too heart breaking. i hope rhys and feyre makes it. i cannot predict what to expect in the other books in the series (isn’t there gonna be 8 books total???) 

[simstationdance]

@jeebie-sims​ asked: for the headcanon meme: Daniel Pleasant, Johnny Smith, and Mortimer Goth

ok so i apparently had a lot to say about these three, especially johnny and mortimer because they are favorites of mine. i was also inspired by the pictures u put in your answers to the shipping asks, so i decided to pair a few pictures with my answers.

i would’ve answered this as a regular ask, but for some reason, applying a read more to an ask applies it to the ‘question’ part of the post and not the actual body of the post where it should be, and not actually truncating the post at all. i couldn’t fix it no matter what i tried and eventually i gave up. tumblr is a Functional Website.

answers under the cut because i’m a turbo nerd who wrote way too much. i hope you enjoy it nonetheless

(headcanon ask meme)

Daniel Pleasant

Sexuality Headcanon: straight

Gender Headcanon: man

A ship I have with said character: daniel x marriage counseling. no, really.

ok but in all seriousness, it’s obvious that dan and mary sue really really need to work their shit out and i don’t think they could do it easily, if at all. if nothing else, they’d stay together for their public image I MEAN their kids whom they clearly love sooo muuuch 

(meanwhile i’m certain angela and lilith - especially lilith - would rather their parents divorced because the tension in the house is so fucking thick you could cut it with a knife, and that’s not a healthy environment to grow up in)

i don’t really ship him with anybody, to be honest. i know he’s with kaylynn on the side but i don’t personally see her sticking around, especially in the aftermath of a destroyed marriage.

unless he actually gets his shit together, i can’t imagine him being able to fully commit to a relationship, as evidenced by his abysmal relationship with his own wife.

A BROTP I have with said character: hmmm. maybe dan and don would be friends? i mean, they’re both cheaters, and they’d become social pariahs for it, but they’d be in it together, at least. meanwhile, their respective marital exes can get together to actually have a happy relationship.

for all i know, don might’ve actually convinced dan to take the plunge into debauchery in the first place. like he was like “don’t you miss when you were a carefree bachelor, dan?” and dan’s like “yeah man i miss that life” because its obvious he’s going thru a mid life crisis, so don basically encourages him - wittingly or not - to cheat on his wife. and they’re probably unaware that they’re both dating the maid.

oh fuck. now that i think about it this makes perfect sense.

A NOTP I have with said character: i guess daniel and mary sue? like, it’s an obvious answer but i literally almost always expose him as a cheater to her when i play the pleasants lmao their relationship really does not stand a chance.

A random headcanon: daniel usually prefers peace and quiet, so the constant arguing between his daughters - mixed with his poor relationship with his wife and the secret he keeps from her at the start of the game - makes it very hard for him to want to be around his own family.

instead of taking more initiative to take control of his domestic life, daniel instead opts to run from his problems. because he’s a Bastard. he envies his sister for having a healthier marriage than he does, unaware (or unwilling to entertain the thought) that perhaps jennifer and john have their own problems too.

General Opinion over said character: daniel is an absolute wet moldy rag of a man and his soap-opera-esque suffering amuses me.

Mortimer Goth

Sexuality Headcanon: pansexual.

Gender Headcanon: man

A ship I have with said character: i mean, the obvious answer would be mortimer x bella 5evr. they really are, or... were, a lovely couple. back in the sims 1 days, they were the ‘adorably eccentric’ goth family.

his wife had her strange magic, and he had his weird science, and together they were a power couple to end all power couples. but the thing is, i don’t imagine their relationship was built to last.  mortimer had far more ‘energy’ than bella did, and although they were a match, it was often difficult for her to keep up with him and his... mortimerisms. obviously bella had her quirks, but mortimer was something else. people often wondered how they managed to work together.

and as for his relationship with dina in the sims 2... well, the way i see it is, after bella’s disappearance, mortimer was utterly distraught. dina came to introduce herself and perhaps comfort him, since she was bella’s former sister in law, and in his weakness, things slowly escalated.

but even in his old age, mortimer is a highly intelligent and intuitive man who, i think, could read just about anyone like a book. if dina was just a run of the mill gold digger, he would’ve dropped her like a rock because he’s smarter than that. therefore, i’m almost certain that their relationship goes deeper than dina being interested in his wealth.

A BROTP I have with said character: this might seem odd, but mortimer and bonehilda in both the sims 1 and the sims 2. listen, i know she doesn’t appear in the sims 2... officially. but that doesn’t stop me from modding her into the game. and i have done exactly that.

the best part about acquiring the skeleton maid was that mortimer finally had somebody to ramble endlessly to about his latest ideas, the things that kept him up at night, but he didn’t want to bother bella while she was trying to sleep.

previously, he’d get an idea and would enthusiastically slams the door open like “BELLA I JUST HAD AN AMAZING IDEA!!!” and bella, laying in bed, would say “it’s the middle of the night and i have a golf tournament in the morning, dear.” and at that, mortimer would back out and slowly and quietly close the door.

so while bonehilda was tidying up the house, he would be essentially pacing around and talking to himself. thinking aloud helped him keep his thoughts in order - he has so many of them - and she would dutifully listen to his every word.

unfortunately he eventually had to retire the maid, she would frequently emerge from her coffin at inopportune times while bella was entertaining guests and they’d run out screaming.

bella also got tired of her drinking her cocktails and leaving puddles everywhere.

A NOTP I have with said character: i’d make jokes about it but i probably wouldn’t ship him with his skeleton maid. other than that i can’t think of any.

A random headcanon: mortimer is the very definition of mad scientist. open the page in the dictionary and you will find his picture.

being a knowledge sim, i feel like mortimer would do anything in the pursuit of knowledge, because he’s perpetually overwhelmed with curiosity and a desire to understand everything about the world, even if that often drives him to doing strange and, perhaps, unethical things in the name of science...

his curiosity led him to his chosen field in the first place. he was a bit of an amateur scientist even before then. as he rose through the ranks in his career and gained more notoriety for his scientific pursuits, he also took quite a lot of heat - some of his more bizarre experiments caused a great deal of scandals in his younger years.

he always managed to get back in the public’s favor, and he eventually got the last laugh against the press because he retired with a huge fortune.

General Opinion over said character: i’ve never been able to put my finger on it, but something about mortimer has always, ALWAYS felt extremely shady to me... and that’s what makes him interesting.

Johnny Smith

Sexuality Headcanon: bi

Gender Headcanon: man

A ship I have with said character: johnny x ophelia is cute, but johnny x ripp is also cute. you know what’s even cuter? all three of them together. they are so wholesome and good.

in my experience with strangetown (both in my current project and in an abandoned uberhood i did a while back), ripp usually has no romantic interest in ophelia and 100% interest in johnny, just on his own. their lack of feelings for each other, however, doesn’t stop them from both being with johnny, if they ever decided to do so. the only thing stopping them is their own personal convictions and... fear. as is the standard for these kinds of relationships, it would take a A Lot Of Work.

i’m sure johnny really loves them both, just in different ways. i see him as being the very physically affectionate friend who gives hugs out like candy and they both love him for it because they’re both touch starved as fuck. (that’s what you get when you have olive specter and buzz grunt as parental figures)

even tho it’s his first, the progression of his relationship with ophelia feels very natural to him. meanwhile, the idea of him and ripp together has never crossed his mind, not because he wouldn’t be interested, but because... um, well, he has a girlfriend, so... imagining himself with people other than his girlfriend would be weeeeird, you know? yeah...

he might also be a little oblivious, so that’s probably why he hasn’t picked up on ripp being weird around him yet. so ripp’s watching johnny be affectionate with ophelia like “god i wish that were me” and then johnny’s like “ripp are you ok” and ripp is like “haha yeah bro i’m great!!! :’)”

he’s always there for ophelia, and if ripp were willing to open up to johnny more often, he’d do the same for him.

A BROTP I have with said character: johnny!!! and!!! ripp!!!

whenever ripp is at johnny’s house, Which Is Often, they usually play SSX 3 together. johnny is better at it than ripp is, but at least ripp can beat him at darts on the dartboard on the back porch. they’re equally matched when it comes to playing pool, however.

they also really like to make dumb jokes at each other, including dumb puns and other such groan-inducing jokes read from vintage joke books and candy wrappers.

A NOTP I have with said character: hm... i can’t think of any because i don’t really ship him with anyone other than his two friends.

i could say johnny and tank but honestly that would be a total lie because i can imagine plenty of reasons to ship them, oddly enough. i don’t, but i can see why some do.

A random headcanon: johnny has basically spent his entire life surrounded by people - family, friends, etc. - to the point where being totally alone actually scares him quite a lot. he’s a popularity sim after all.

and, as unhealthy as it is, he really feels like its’ his responsibility to bring balance to ripp and ophelia’s lives by being the fun cheerful affectionate buddy, who always tries to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on. he’s a little scared that if he didn’t hold them together at their worst, then they’d fall apart.

it’s a lot of work and he loses sleep from it sometimes because holding other people together is Actually! Very! Stressful! but he dreams of being a hero on a white horse and all, so if he has to, he will be the hero they need. he doesn’t want them to worry about him, he doesn’t want them to feel like they’re burdening him, so he never tells them that.

General Opinion over said character: 

[chasingshhadows]

RNM S01: A Progressive Review

I want to talk about diversity, representation, social issues, and the way Roswell New Mexico succeeds and fails in that particular department. It’s 2019 and we no longer live in a world where it’s acceptable to ignore the societal implications of the media we consume. That said, it’s also 2019, and Roswell is doing some things that place it far ahead of its peers in media in ways that make it an absolute pleasure to watch. Like honestly, I’m fucking thrilled with this show ok.

I’ve read and skimmed a lot of discussion about the ways in which RNM has failed to be this perfect paragon of progressive representation, and I’ve read/skimmed far less discussion – by both fans and TPTB – about the ways in which the show is trying to be better than its forebears.

However, there seems to be a wide divide between people recognizing the former and people recognizing the latter, and I very much believe it’s irresponsible to try to focus on either one without at least acknowledging the other. So I’m going to talk about those failures and successes, and I’m gonna zig-zag that line so that if you want to read about how I feel about one of those things, you’re gonna have to at least skim the other.

[read more]

I tried to be as concise as possible, but even so, this is rather long, mostly because I didn’t want to make several posts about this. I want to say what I have to say on the topic and then get back to the story because that’s really why I’m here.

Also to note: I understand – and I hope we all understand – that we are in the first season of this show. This means that they should have plenty of time to follow through on or fix many of the issues I will point out, but that also leaves room for them to torpedo many of the positives I’ll discuss. Just – please know that I know we’re only one season in, and anything could happen.

On lived race

This show does a fabulous job exploring how race intersects with these characters’ lives and how it plays an active role in shaping not only who they are, but how their story lines play out. With Liz & Arturo, their race – and immigration status – are openly discussed on screen and inform their decisions and how they present themselves to others, as well as how they are received by their town. This is, in fact, a major aspect of the first season arc/plot as a whole, not just as it pertains to Arturo & Liz (and Rosa), but as it pertains to all the characters, so it’s worth emphasizing.

With Maria, we see her discuss her race as a factor in her isolation from her hometown, as well as seeing how she owns it in the face of racist customers. With Kyle, we see his compassion as a fellow child of immigrants in treating Arturo off the books, and with his mother, we see her perspective on that situation based on her own experiences as a Hispanic immigrant. And with Mimi, we see, tho tangentially, how the intersection of her race and gender and the stereotyping around those have had a negative impact on her healthcare. Even what little we saw of Arizona was washed in her experiences as a Native woman, and her (rightful) disdain for white people.

On the other side of that coin, we have white characters, namely the three alien siblings, whose White Privilege plays an active role in their actions and how they conduct themselves. I know some people have frustrations that these three main characters were all cast as white, but I’ll be honest, after having seen 1.06 (Smells Like Teen Spirit), I would not have bought that any of these characters were a POC. Can you imagine a Black or Hispanic teen being thoughtless enough to frame a WOC – who also happens to be the daughter of a known undocumented immigrant – for the drug-induced vehicular manslaughter of two white girls and not expect the entire town to then turn on that family? Even as a teen, no POC would be race-blind enough to not have had that forethought. It would not be believable, without an immense amount of heavy lifting in the backstory, for a POC to have framed Rosa instead of either of the white women, to have made the decision to put her in the driver’s seat over the other two.

And in this way, the show also does an amazing job in showcasing how good, liberal white people can still be thoughtless where it concerns race. Especially at 17. The White Privilege of the alien siblings, and their lack of awareness of it, serves as a major negative driver of the show’s plot and is the root cause of much of the conflict throughout the first season. That’s real, that’s believable, and that’s important to show.

This, all of this, is vital in portraying accurate, true-to-life representations of how marginalized racial communities interact with each other and white populations, and also gives those communities characters they can point to that not only look like them, but also share their experiences – experiences which are unique to POC and also give white viewers a clearer picture of what it’s truly like to live in this country as a person of color.

On meaningful racial representation

I feel rather let down that the show didn’t follow through on Alex’s heritage in any of the meaningful ways that they did with the other POC on the show (see previous section). All of those characters had clear and explicit aspects of their narrative which centered their race as an part of their story – again, rightfully, as that is how it’s lived IRL. We got to see them express and experience their race as more than just the color of their skin. We didn’t get that with Alex. (or with Noah, but he’s a whole other story)

It’s particularly disappointing considering that Alex is the only POC on the show who passes (that we know of, ofc). Many people will be upset at my bringing this up, but it’s true and we should be talking about it. His ability to pass – the ability for anyone to look at him and not know immediately that he is of Native descent – does not in any way negate his POC identity. Not even remotely. Not a little bit, not at all. All it means is that as a POC, Alex has the ability to be spared from certain microaggressions experienced by others in his community. Not all, not even most, but some. But it also means that he is subject to microaggressions that others in his community will never experience – such as someone making disparaging comments about Natives as tho there aren’t any in the room, or by people assuming he’s “basically white” bc he looks white and erasing his heritage entirely. Those are experiences unique to his race that other Natives who don’t “pass” would never experience.

Roswell didn’t follow through on that this season. We saw no indication, other than the casting of his brother as a Native actor (which I was very pleased about, mind you), that Alex Manes is not as white as he appears. Portraying and giving accurate representation to POCs who pass is just as important as giving it to POCs who don’t.

On consent

WOW this show does a marvelous job at portraying how people should approach getting active and explicit consent from those around them. Active consent is so deeply ingrained in the foundation of this show that its absence is used as an indicator to the audience that something is very very wrong - and on more than one occasion. In order to pull that off, the show has had to set an abundantly clear standard for the type of consent that these characters should expect from each other when things are not horribly wrong, and that standard is appropriately high.

Max and Liz are the obvious duo with which this is explored. From the first, when Liz wants to kiss Max outside of the cave, he stops her because he’s concerned that her judgement may be impaired or impacted by the effects of his powers. He refuses to take advantage of that state, making a direct call to the behavior women wish we could expect from men when our own judgement may be impaired. This continues later when she asks to be left alone and he just immediately backs down and away, not pushing or persuading. He treats her word as law, as he should. We see even in his past, as a teenage white boy in 2008, that he consistently asked for Liz’s consent to even be in her presence.

We see it between Michael and Alex in very different but still very present ways. A lot of Michael and Alex’s communication is silent and, as such, so are their consent check-ins. Before their first kiss, you see Michael checking in with Alex, watching Alex’s body language as he approaches and making sure Alex is receptive before he goes for the kiss – and Alex is, clearly. Michael asks what Alex wants and Alex says that doesn’t matter while stepping toward Michael. Michael stops and looks at Alex and Alex continues to move closer, looking back and forth from Michael’s eyes to his lips. This type of silent communication and consent checks continues throughout the rest of the season, from the scene at the drive-in to the teenage scenes and on.

We also see clear attempts at getting explicit consent between Liz & Kyle, between Cam & Max, and even when Michael was guarding Maria at the gala (I can go get Liz if you want me to leave) and later when he approaches her following the events of 1.13.

This has honestly been so fucking cool to see like this, on a CW show especially, to see how easy and essential it is to get that consent in all situations. It’s an important representation that we don’t see laid out clearly enough in media today and I’m so fucking proud of Roswell for doing it so effectively.

On disability & erasure

This show started to do something that was really incredible in portraying one of the main characters as an amputee. We see his crutch, we see the way he moves with it, we see how he struggles with it, and we see how he is determined to life his life as an amputee, and not just despite it.

There was certainly plenty of room to improve in even that regard - specifically where it concerns coaching on exactly how a recent amputee might move their body and center their weight and whatnot, even, or maybe especially, if that person were trying to hide their struggle. But it’s clear that the show was trying to represent a type of character we don’t get to see often.

But then Alex loses the crutch. Rather suddenly and very cold turkey. This is not an accurate representation of how someone with a recent loss of limb would experience their recovery, no matter how much that person may want to hide it. Recovery takes time, it takes practice, and it includes bad days. We didn’t see any of that.

It's particularly frustrating considering the show gave themselves the perfect opportunity to do this transition far better and didn't take advantage of it. There was a six-week time jump between episodes 8 & 9. Had we seen Alex try to go without his crutch when he confronted Liz in ep 7, and then have to return to using it after the long day out, and again in episode 8 with his father - wouldn't it have been so amazing to see him collapse in his chair after Jesse leaves and rub his leg because he's been ignoring the pain all day in an attempt to intimidate his father? And then we could see him moving more independently after that six-week jump.

The show dropped the ball there, in my opinion. In a big way. That beautiful representation was given and then promptly taken away. And then the show set itself up perfectly to explore how the invisibility of disability can be experienced, and has not followed through on that at all. Quite literally the last indication at all that we get of Alex's amputation is Michael commenting on his having lost the crutch in episode 9.

One of the harsh truths of disability is that no matter how much one might try to ignore and hide that aspect of who they are, it will always be there and it will make itself known. It might be invisible to others, but Alex will experience it anyway, will be affected by it anyway. He may be able to do anything that anyone else can do, but he’s gonna have to work ten times harder at it. We should have gotten to see that.

This same problem of erasing disability happens with Michael’s hand in the last episode. Michael’s scars, what they prevented him from doing, how they affected his work - all of that was so important to see, and then he gets the unconsensual healing power of magic and suddenly he gets his happy place back. And as happy as I was as a Michael!Stan to see him find that, this sends a bad message, that people with disabilities just need to be “fixed” to be happy. And as I mentioned above and in other posts, it is wildly apparent that Max healing Michael’s hand without his consent is meant to be an indicator that Max is Very Not Okay and is a prelude to him literally going so mad with power that he kills himself to resurrect Rosa. That noted, from a representation standpoint, I wish another mechanism had been used to show that.

On unapologetic politicism

Roswell makes it absolutely clear where it stands on the political spectrum and who this show is for. This show exists in the post-2016 election, post-#MeToo era and it embraces that culture and does not shy away from being political, on everything from race, sexuality and misogyny to immigration status, gun control, and even research science. It uses context and even hero dialogue to make the audience aware of what is right and what is wrong on these topics, and it does so without ambiguity or nuance.

It (appropriately) paints ICE as the enemy of good, hardworking people in literally the first scene of the show. Liz starts ranting about being stopped because she’s Latina and I just did a little dance inside because Yaassss, these are my people. And the show doesn’t let up there - the shadow of ICE hangs over Arturo’s - and by extension, Liz’s - head the entire season in a way that makes the audience uncomfortable and angry on his behalf.

The show consistently, from multiple characters both in law enforcement and not, refers to undocumented immigrants, the homeless, and prostitutes as “the most vulnerable members” of society, and not as a scourge or a menace to that society. These are good, worthy people deserving of protection and justice. The show paints anyone who views differently as firmly In The Wrong, from the disgusting Wyatt Long to the self-righteous Sheriff Valenti.

The dialogue calls out everything from subtle racism in police descriptions to building a wall to #AllLivesMatter to fake news to the terrifying ease of buying a gun to homophobia to the president himself  - it does not hold back and it does not leave room for excuses or sympathy on the part of the more conservative characters.

Most of the dialogue on the show that wasn’t explicitly Alien-centric feels very organic in the ways that it makes offhand quips about immigration and racism and sexism and everything in between - that’s the way I and my friends speak and converse. That stuff just filters into our conversations about really anything because it’s always at the forefront of our minds. We call those things out when we see them and talk about idiots like they’re not sitting right in front of us (“I think that’s Hank speak for ‘he wasn’t white.’”) There aren’t a lot of shows that nail that so perfectly and the only one that’s coming to mind at the moment is Dear White People, which was the first I saw to pull this off so well.

This is media that doesn’t try to paint a picture of “there are good people on both sides.” This media isn’t playing middle ground, or trying to please everyone. It’s making a statement in these choices and it doesn’t shy away from pissing off toxic people - this media isn’t for them. Most popular successful media (*cough* MCU *cough*) achieves that status by very carefully toeing the line between left and right, by using subtext to attract progressive viewers while keeping the explicit storyline clean and moderate. Roswell doesn’t do that - its progressivism is explicit and unmissable, as it should be. And that makes it, truly, an absolute joy to watch.

On Maria’s arc

Maria DeLuca did not start this season as an extension of Michael’s - or anyone’s - storyline, and I’m incredibly frustrated that, narratively, that’s how she ended it. That’s easily my biggest disappointment regarding the season as a whole, exaggerated by the fact that Maria is a black woman and because of that, her storyline carries more weight than many of the others. This post does a good job of discussing why POC rep matters more, and while it focuses on race-bending (which this show has also done with Maria, in a positive way), I think it still makes the point that Any POC Rep will just always hit harder, good or bad.

When that Rep is good, it’s fantastic. When it’s bad, it’s terrible.

And for most of this season, it was hitting very very good well. Maria throughout most of the season was this fierce, beautiful firecracker of personality and suppressed issues. She had a history and a deep well of issues both pre- and post- the loss of one of her closest friends, followed by the physical separation from her other two best friends. She’s got an amazing relationship with a mother who is slowly losing grip and slipping away from her. Those things, how they shaped her, and how they expressed themselves made her relatable, tangible, and easy to love.

That was actually one of my favorite parts about her hooking up with Michael, that these were main characters seeking comfort and distraction in one another, rather than just with throwaway characters. Maria is her own person with her own story that we had already seen explored as an independent arc from any of the other main characters

However, that arc never quite got the same attention as Kyle’s or Alex’s and certainly not as much as Liz or the Pod Squad. A lot of that likely has to do with her ignorance of the alien presence in the town (which appears to be coming to a close, but I won’t speculate on that) and that makes sense, narratively. As she couldn’t be actively involved in pushing the alien mystery plot forward, there was only so much the show could do with her, and I think they did take advantage of what little wiggle room they had there.

That said, given that she’s the only black woman on the main cast, it’s very disappointing that she rounds out the season by being drugged, possessed, and either talking about, pushing away, or engaging with Michael. My own perspective on this show may revolve around Michael, but that doesn’t mean I think our black woman should share that fate narratively.

And I’ll note that characterization-wise, I understood the ways Maria’s thoughts and actions could become consumed and fixated on a love interest. Oh, holy wow, have I Been There. But allowing that - and essentially, only that, narratively for Maria at the end of the season, as the only MC black woman on the show - is a disservice to her character and the community she represents. Which is not to say that I take issue with how Michael and Maria come together at the end, either from a narrative or a character development standpoint; what I take issue with is that that is all we get of her in the later episodes. Maria deserved more, and so did we.

On fighting for WOC

One of my favorite things about this show is how the characters on this show again and again come to bat for the two main WOC, despite that both of them are portrayed as absolutely capable of fighting for themselves. Both Liz Ortecho and Maria DeLuca are shown to be strong, multifaceted, beautiful (neither because of nor in spite of their race - just beautiful, end of story), desirable, and worth fighting for - and unapologetically and undeniably women of color.

Our “main hero” Max makes it absolutely clear that he will Throw Down for Liz Ortecho. He risks his own life and the lives of his siblings to save her, and nearly torpedos those relationships entirely on her behalf. He loves her absolutely, flaws and all. And he acknowledges those flaws - he doesn’t put her on a pedestal or pretend she’s perfect - she doesn’t need to be for him to love and respect her.

We see Alex and Michael and Liz all show up for Maria at different points in the story, fighting on her behalf, defending her, and making the statement that Maria is precious and should be protected. More than that, through Michael’s eyes, we stand in awe of Maria DeLuca - she is a standout, she is impressive, she is powerful, and she is her own savior, every time. And through all of that, she is beautiful and desirable and absolutely worthy of being the center of attention.

These storylines and characterizations are unfortunately still incredibly rare for women of color in modern media. Women of color rarely get to be these fully fleshed out characters with their own backstory and own motivations, and even more rarely do we get to see them be viewed by others as special and valued. Roswell isn’t sidelining its WOC or centering their storylines around white men (my comments above re Maria’s last couple episodes notwithstanding). And that’s amazing and should be celebrated.

On aesthetics

No matter how important something is to the plot or how in-character it would be, the sociological aesthetics of media are still relevant. Plot-wise, the roundabout Wyatt leading to Maria leading to Noah was an interesting mechanism, and it makes sense, character-wise for Cam and then Isobel to suspect Maria’s involvement. And it makes sense, character-wise, for Liz to then defend Maria against those suspicions.

But - aesthetics matter. And watching a scene in which two white blonde women accuse a WOC of horrible crimes at another WOC is immensely uncomfortable and very tone-deaf. That wasn’t fun or engaging to watch, I don’t feel drawn into the mystery of it all in that moment, I feel pretty grossed out, actually. Because this show has set a standard for itself of being better than that, and in that scene, it failed its own test.

On bisexual representation

This one I’ve already talked about at length and having finished out the season, my feelings haven’t changed. This show does a damn fine job showing us a bisexual character living out his life, his pain, and his unhealthy but entirely relatable coping mechanisms. They don’t try to portray him as perfect because he’s not and he shouldn’t have to be for us to respect and love him.

On bi-baiting

I’ll admit to being disappointed that Isobel’s feelings for Rosa turned out to be artificial and driven by the man living her in mind. It took the whole situation from amazing bi rep to aggressively heterosexual. Not only was our queer woman not actually queer, but all of those feelings and attraction toward another woman were actually driven by a really toxic man that was actively violating Isobel to pursue that attraction.

Once again, the show started to give us something really fucking amazing - two bisexual main characters - and then appeared to take that away. We’ve been given no indication that Isobel’s attraction to Rosa was anything more than Noah in her head or that she herself is anything other than Very Straight.

This doesn’t diminish the amazing bi representation they’ve given us with Michael, but that amazing representation does not excuse or erase our having been baited into falling for another bisexual character only to find out it was all very likely a sham. While there are certainly not enough bisexual men in media, there is also not enough queer women at all. So dangling that in front of the audience before yanking it away is frustrating.

On respecting survivors

*Content Warning: sexual assault* 

So I’m going to talk as a survivor for a moment and explain how Holy Shit Muther Fucking Important it was to see another survivor being told that other people’s feelings and needs didn’t matter. What She needed mattered. I was sobbing through that scene because no one has ever told me that. No one ever told me that what I needed trumped other people’s comfort or anger or needs.

But Isobel got to hear that. She got to hear that her brothers’ needs Did Not Matter (and that, particularly, hits hard for me). The only thing that mattered was whatever She needed to get through this, to feel better, and to heal. She got to hear that taking care of herself was the most important thing, that she was allowed to be selfish and think of herself. She didn’t have to put others first, or make sure everyone got what they wanted. What they wanted is nothing compared to what she needs. I needed to hear that just as much as Isobel did.

The show did not shy away in facing just how violently violated Isobel was by her husband - body and mind. It doesn’t brush off what he did as just another evil act by an evil man - this was invasion of Isobel in every possible way by someone she loved and trusted.

And it doesn’t try to artificially portray her as too strong to care, or too weak to handle it. She’s strong, but she’s affected. She’s shattered inside, and she’s handling it. A lot of us know what that’s like in ways people that haven’t experienced it never could. And as someone who finds therapy in being understood, in seeing my experiences in media, this scene was everything I needed.

On villainizing POC

This one has sparked a lot of valid discourse. Media has a really ugly history of telling society who is good and who is bad based on casting choices and always always always making the villains the POC, particularly MOC. It’s unconscious bias leading to more unconscious bias, teaching viewers that we shouldn’t trust POC bc they’re always the bad guy.

It’s a problem and every additional casting choice like this contributes to that problem. No show or movie is immune to it simply because they had a good reason, or even because they wanted to give a POC a job. Studios can give POC jobs by writing roles for them from the beginning, rather than slotting them into damaging stereotypes.

While I do acknowledge that it is unfair and in many ways problematic to deny an actor a role simply because of their race, aesthetics matter. There has to be some forethought in the casting choices regarding the message that choice will send. If the desire is to have more POC characters, then write more POC characters.

And that’s another way in which Roswell doesn’t really succeed with Noah. While there’s at least mention of Noah’s race on the show, he falls into the same category as Alex in that we never see his race expressed or lived. They cast a South Asian actor to play a raceblind role, which means they cast a POC actor to play a white role. POC characters have different stories than white characters - Roswell dropped the ball on giving us that with Noah.

Roswell does a lot right where it concerns race on this show, and it is refreshing that our POC villain is far from the only POC on the show. That said, I was taught something in college that I will never forget:  oppression is a moving sidewalk. In order to work against it, you cannot stand still (i.e. casting POC on both sides). You must actively walk the other direction in order to affect change.

Like with the issue of Isobel’s baited bisexuality, giving us amazing representation in one hand doesn’t change that you’re using the other to flick our ear.

On centering queer stories

*hugs myself in delight* This is a big one and is probably the aspect that Roswell gets the most right. Both in impact, screen time, and even in literal scene-splitting, Roswell again and again makes it clear that Michael & Alex’s love story is just as vital and central to this story as Max & Liz’s. They intercut their scenes at numerous points, and characters even within the show compare how similarly their stories have played out. The two relationships experience major milestones on the same day on more than one occasion.

Michael and Alex’s relationship has depth. It has conflict, it has history, it has heartbreak. There is tension and pain and softness and love. It has laughter and safe spaces; it has big gestures and powerful words. These two men who crash together and fly apart but whose whole beings seem to orient toward the other and who, at the end of the day, are willing to let themselves be destroyed for their love.

This queer love story playing out on season 1 of Roswell has more foundation, development, chemistry, and payoff than some of the most romanticised straight couples in media history. It’s been a week since the finale and I’m still just utterly in awe at what we’ve been given here. Roswell is absolutely succeeding in giving us thorough, relatable, meaningful queer representation with Michael and Alex. They are not holding back or sidelining or tokenizing. And they are following through on narrative promises instead of just baiting or relying on subtext. And that’s…. so fucking insanely satisfying to finally get to see.

.

Ultimately, I’m far more happy with how the show treats its underrepresented identities and modern social issues than I am critical. Most of the content on this show is akin to looking in a mirror and seeing my own worldview reflected back. I am a queer progressive woman and a survivor, so many of these issues are personal for me.

But I’m also white, and my disabilities are not physical. As such, I am not and should not be the authority on some of these issues. I am more than open to feedback from those who feel I was either too harsh, or not harsh enough, where it concerns those issues.

But for now, this is essentially Chasing’s Progressive Review of Roswell New Mexico, Season 1. And now I’m gonna go roll around in meta and fanfic and gifsets for the next several months cuz I sure as hell ain’t done talking about this show.

[otto-von-stirlitz]

Some thoughts about #33

Spoilers under the cut

I would like to sign to the newly created Jon fanclub, I love him so much already. Also I wanna protect him (and I know someone noticed it already but the little Valhalla!

Cass asking “what is your story”, she is still framing everything in the very narrative approach, thus still acting like a critic of the narrative. Incredible.

When I said that due to the positions its likely that Cass, Mini, Baal and Woden will make it to the final four, people had reservations either about Baal (in favour of Baph) or Woden who is a shithead. But if the 4th icon is a boy who builds, then the final four looks way more interesting.

I missed seeing the ascension sequences so much! Also, Mimirs design is rad as fuck and if i were a god, i’d definitely take these cyberpunkish tattoos(?). Yes, this is coming from a person who’d say yes to becoming a cyborg, dont @ me.

“You can make me want to make things” - how exactly does Wodens and Mimirs bond and amount of control work? How much of it is parental manipulation and how much is magic-induced?

Cassandra breaks my heart a lot in this issue, especially THAT ONE MOMENT. But also upon first read I felt that in the scene where Laura speaks, her eyes are as green as they used to be, since Persephone seemed to have a bluer eyecolour, fitting to her hair. I’d need some extensive zooming over several issues to prove that tho. Im kind of glad to hear the old Laura, even if we see that she is just under a huge pile of guilt re: feeling like shes responsible for the death of her family. And once again THANKS KIERON FOR BREAKING MY HEART

Where exactly is the cave, in a geographical sense?  I guess it couldn’t fit under London which must be already full of Underground stations and it looks ancient, probably used for years (thanks @thewickedandthehufflepuff​ for identifying the numbers!). Anyway, how big is this particular Underground, and can you teleport to it? Maybe it’s a big ring-shaped tunnel that covers all the places of previous Recurrences stop it Yavien and refrain from making any fma references we’re talking about wicdiv. I blame Jamie for drawing Baal clapping his hands and thus activating my fangirl mode.

Is it okay to say that I missed Luci’s voice in this book? Yeah, I know it’s not okay. Also Tara looks so done but on the other hand it must be incredibly sad for her not to get the release she wished for but to spend instead several months listening to a girl who outright stated her dislike of Tara and mocked her while alive. Whoops I made myself sad. Again.

1920 table featured half a skull and a damaged skull, are these cases similar to Sakhmet’s? Also does this imply that when it comes to the end of 2014 Recurrence, Luci, Tara and Inanna, along with the #4 god will have to be sacrificed in a way that leaves only their skulls?

Yes Kieron, I know who you’re referring to with the “Talking Heads” card, but this is also how you’d translate a title of one Republika song. I think I already said on the Discord chat that I love Republika and that their aesthetic makes me think of Cass in particular.

Other thought: this issue is once again amazing, it made me have a lot of feelings again (which is kind of rare in the fiction recently in general) and I love it and hate it at the same time. Solid 10/10, also for changing the status quo and giving a new direction after the Imperial phase. I suspect Year 4 and Year 1 will be my biggest faves at the end. 

[bigboysdontcry]

MlM all of them!💕

1. Do you like resting your head in a boys lap, or on his shoulder?

shoulder, it’s easier to kiss him that way

2. Sweaters or hoodies?

hoodies

3. Netflix or clubbing on a Friday night?

netflix, or just, streaming something in general

4. Denim or leather jackets?

leather jackets!! 

5. What’s your favorite thing about boys?

this is hard because I just.   love boys so much???? i love everything about them, but if I have to choose then their laughs, and sleepy voices. i love boys voices so much. they’re so good. 

6. How do you like your tea?

it depends on the tea and what im in the mood for, sometimes hot tea with a lot of honey. iced peach tea is delicious too. 

7. How do you like your coffee?

with a decent amount of creamer and sugar, or a mocha from a coffee shop. 

8. Favorite fall color?

maroon

9. Can you drive?

yeah, i’m a small town gay i didn’t have a choice. 

10. Do you have a crush?

Yes And Its The Worst Feelings Are Dumb, He’s so fucking cute like who gave him the right? 

11. What’s your favorite sport?

hockey!!!!

12. Are you a pastel, neon, or neutral color mlm?

idk??? I think I’m more of a pastel out of these choices

13. Do you wear makeup?

I used to, I have a lot of makeup products that I haven’t used in a long time because of dysphoria and such, I want to wear makeup but I just get so scared of everyone. 

14. Do you like boys taller or shorter than you?

taller but that’s only because I’m so short mostly everyone is taller than me. I don’t mind shorter tho, I’m less insecure if we’re the same height. 

15. Do you prefer hand kisses, or nose kisses?

hand kisses, it’s so old romance i live for it

16. What’s your favorite cologne smell?

oh shiiiit I love almost all cologne smells. um. the one i have that i love is like, cedar, and warm woods, with like. a hint of vanilla. it’s so good?? anything woodsy and maybe a little sweet smelling? that’s good stuff. 

17. Ideal date?

either something calm and private like, cooking together and then watching something and cuddling, or going to see live music or something. nothing too intense and we get the chance to just like. talk and take up the same space together. there also should be a LOT of making out. 

18. What’s more romantic: cabin getaway, or tropical vacation?

cabin getaway. I love camping and being in the woods and nature and shit. 

19. What’s your favorite mlm movie?

i haven’t seen a lot of mlm movies, if any. I think i saw like. five minutes of brokeback mountain. as far as like, on screen tho I’m gonna say Alec and Magnus in shadowhunters. i know it’s  a cheesy teen show based on a ya book but fuck i love them. 

20. Do you believe in love at first sight?

not really

21. Have you ever been in love?

so many times??? and im in love rn with nico

22. Do you like sitting in a boys lap, or do you prefer when a boy sits in yours?

I’m happy either way but I like sitting on another guys lap because I love being held and plus I’m smaller than most guys. 

23. Metal or cloth bracelets?

cloth

24. What’s one of your favorite memories of being in love?

making them laugh and when they’re mid laugh having them tell you that they love you

25. Do you tilt your head to the left or right when you kiss?

I think the right, depends on how they’re angled but mostly the right. 

26. Would you like to take his last name when you marry?

nah, I like my last name. unless like. I really really really loved him and he had an awesome last name or something, idk I can’t think of a last name so let’s just make one up like idk Sella or somethin

27. Do you want kids?

I don’t know. I’m gonna be honest I have no idea. Sometimes I think I do but I also. I’m scared and I don’t think I can handle that responsibility but ya know I’m only 20 so who knows

28. Do you interlock fingers when you hold hands?

yes! 

29. What’s a compliment you’d love to receive from a boy?

“you’re voice sounds amazing” or something about my smile, or eyes, i just. i want a dude to call me handsome. or tell me how good i look in dress clothes because fuck those are dysphoria inducing. 

30. What’s better, waking up to him in the morning, or falling asleep next to him at night?

waking up to him, definitely

31. Any turn offs?

bad breath, bossy/pushy, acting like a dick around friends but nice in private like wtf is that, 

32. What makes you blush?

neck kisses, someone saying heyyyyy in that voice, um. being called pretty boy, a lot of things make me blush. This guy smiled at me and I was red for 10 minutes. 

33. Coffee shop or dog park date?

coffee shop.

34. Big spoon or little spoon?

I’ll be either, I love being the little spoon but I also LOVE holding someone. 

35. What first catches your eye?

eyes and smile, sometimes jaw line. 

36. Would you enjoy it if he bought you flowers?

I wouldn’t be upset. I’d probably be more excited about it when it happened than just talking about it hypothetically ya know? 

37. Do you think matching couple outfits are cute or cheesy?

cheesy 

38. Have you ever asked a boy out?

LOL NO

39. Which is cuter, him being confident, or shy?

hmmmmm. it depends. Confidence is HOT but shy is adorable. I like when they’re shy when you’re talking and maybe they’re nervous to ask you something or say something. 

40. What’s one of your fave love songs?

peach by the front bottoms

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 01.09.17 lb

wishing you all Eid Mubarak! 🌙✨✨✨✨  may the day bring you and your family all the happiness and love! 💖💖💖 

(and lots and lots of yummy food. gifts/donations in the form of biriyani, sevaiyaan, and other assorted noms are always appreciated at tellywoodtrash. 😊😊😊) 

anika’s hungry. (jism ki bhook? 😆😆😆)

ohhhhhhh yeahhhhh, billu’s here to mitaaofy The Bhook. 😏😏😏

god his hair is so fucking ugly like this, please can he go back to his old non golden hair. or at least put it up in the “i’ve been electrocuted” shock-puff instead of this weird side comb over a la mahi. i can’t concentrate on the hotness of the scene thanks to this! 😣😣😣

whoooooop, the truth of the pav bhaji is out. 😬😬😬

billu’s like you’re no gordon ramsay yourself, missy. 🙄🙄🙄

BLOODY DADI. WHY WON’T YOU LEAVE THEM ALONE????/ 😒😒😒

PFFFFFT, SHE’S PUTTING HIM BEHIND THE MOST TRANSLUCENT CURTAIN IN THE UNIVERSE. 😑😑😑

eeeeeeeeeee. 😍😍😍

lord bless rudra, the stupid cupid of this house. 👼🏽👼🏽👼🏽 doodho nahaao, phoolo phalo, mere laal. 😌😌😌

waaah! billu taking anika out for pav bhaji date! who are you and what have you done to our organic and clean-eating billu? 😯😯😯

ugh pinkyyyyy ka nonsense. 😤😤😤

shaktiji has had enough of this garbage. same, shaktiji, same. 😑😑😑

did om get his satyavaadi side from chote papa? 🤔🤔🤔

goddddddd, anika is going to get the keeda to fix this mess now. GIRL NO. PLEASE. FFS, PLEASE. 😫😫😫

oh. of course he got a pav bhaji thela INSIDE oberoi mansion. this extra ass fucker. 🙄🙄🙄

ok i’ve said pav bhaji so many times in the past two days, that now i really want it. GODDAMNIT I’M SUPPOSED TO BE EATING CLEAN TOO. FML. 😩😩😩😩😭😭😭😭

lmaooooo she almost passed out from another pav bhaji induced (mouth) orgasm 😆😆😆

shivaay, you’re really facing tough competition. i really doubt you’ll be able to bring her to such ecstasy. 😝😝😝

“kya hua, theek nahi hai? daantoon mein usse?” 

ouff billu! 

“kaisi hai? boliye!” “khaate waqt bolna nahi chahiye.” “koi nahi. main bolti hoon. aap bhi boliye!” *quietly to himself* “tum bohut bolti ho.” 

i can’t handleeeeee his adorbz. 😚😚😚

“main raat mein citric acid nahi leta.”

god this man and his insane dietary rules. 😒😒😒

ugh they’re so cuteeeee on their ridiculous improvised date. 💖💖💖

oh boy, she’s gonna bring up pinky. girl whyyyyyyyyyyyyy. 😣😣😣

yup. called it. billu’s repressing all his feelings about this. it’s going to come out as a jwaalamukhi at some point. *sigh* 😔😔😔

this is the most normal outfit i’ve seen shivaay in since forever. he’s looking verrrrrrrrrrrry nice. 😍😍😍

these challenges are so amateur and childishhhhhhhhhhhh. they’re grownass adults, bruh. who’ve already been married for like, a year. 😑😑😑

ohhhhh boy. i don’t even know what to expect with this. 😟😟😟

pffffffft, he doesn’t sound anything like her, other than all the catchphrases. 🙄🙄🙄

i am loving rudra’s delight at all this though. what a cutie. 😌😌😌

lmaoooooooooooooo rudra singing O JAANA. such meta. 

ya gaana sab ko sunaayi deta hai??? 🤔🤔🤔

apparently rudra’s changed teams and is fully on bhaiyya’s side today. 😊😊😊

bhaiyya’s using opportunity to CLOSELY OBSERVE bhaabi 😚😚😚

anika’s turn! 

she’s better at this than he is! she’s got the phone waali tadi down pat! 

hein? “what the”? behenji yeh aapke pati ka dialogue nahi hai! 😟😟😟

aaaaaaand there goes the phone. 😬😬😬

damn girl, dat booty tho. 👅👅👅💦💦💦

um yeah, billu looks turned on af. 😏😏😏

aaaaaaand pinky’s here to ruin everything. 😒😒😒

my poor boy though. he’s sooooo close to tears. 😥😥😥

(great subtle acting by nakuul here, the clenched jaw, the pained swallowing. bruh, why can’t you be this toned down and effective in all scenes???) 

god, this tapasya nonsense again. 🙄🙄🙄

“MRS. OBEROI” 

yup. def taking a leaf outta omki’s book. 

he’s righteously outraged on HER behalf. she’s heartened and all dreamy eyed at her suddenly amazing pati, but oh, the guiltttttt. 😐😐😐

time for dadi to lecture. 😒😒😒

teesra challenge is... poverty? 🤔🤔🤔

hardy har har, what a fun game for these outrageously rich people to play! 😑😑😑

oh god, shivaay has to go live in a chawl. 😟😟😟

‘oh my god, i have to call the chawl ppl and warn them what’s coming. 😕😕😕’

billu’s overly confident. my god son, you should be hella scared. you won’t be able to survive. i’m middle class and *I* can barely survive middle class life in india before screaming to be put back on a plane home. 😶😶😶

rudra: yeh toh koi reality show jaise ho gaya; end mein bhaiyya bolenge “i’m SSO, mujhe is ghar se baahar nikalo!!!” 

“zero sambhaal ke!”

200 rs. dude. one of billu’s fancyass coffees for the day costs more than than. 😗😗😗

lmao “woh burger waala meal kar lena. veg. non veg toh aayega nahi.” 😂😂😂

yuppppp, no one’s nikaaling the gaadi for you, son. bus se jaa. 🚌🚌🚌

ok even the kurta he’s changed into is tooooooo fancy. 😕😕😕😕

dude, you have just 200 rs for the day. auto mein jayega toh 50% of the funds are gonna be over in that ride. 😣😣😣

LMFAO HE NEEDS TO BE HELPED UP INTO THE AUTO 😆😆😆

lmaooooooooooo SEAT BELT KAHAN PE HAI hahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣

of course, he’s worried about his hair. 🙄🙄🙄

LOL AUTOWAALA IS PLAYING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM OF ALL AUTOWAALAS: TUM TOH TEHRE PARDESI. HAHAHAHA. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

anika just lost her patience and told him to stop being an ass to the autowaala. lmaoooooo look at him sulkkkk. 😚😚😚

lololol everytime he wants to be called “hot” instead of cute, the universe sends him a sign that it’s not meant to be; pehle daadi, ab road mein khadda thanks to which he went and hit his head. 😆😆😆

“yahi toh iski best feature hai.” chance maar raha hai billllllu. 😏😏😏

“aaraaam se le jaana, lambe raaste se. koi romantic gaana nahi hai tumhare paas? O JAANA suna hai?” 

lolololololol this idiot 😂😂😂😂

ouff tejLana nonsense. fwding. where my rikara babiessss? 😩😩😩

here they are!!!!! 😊😊😊

this set looks familiarrrrrr? was it used in the bareilly track? 🤔🤔🤔

something’s shady about this guyyyyy who’s the caretaker. he might try to loot them too. 😐😐😐

awwww, he’s giving her his handkerchieffffff. 😘😘😘

who stole the murtis????? 😯😯😯

yup. this fucker with ALL TEH GOLD on him (more gold than anika at her wedding with vikram even) def. has something to do with its disappearance. 😤😤😤

oh thank god, om at least listened to her and believes her without awaiiii ka misunderstanding and drama. 🙄🙄🙄

ouff such long tejLana scenes.

omkara’s interrogation koi rang nahi laa rahi, toh dabanngggg gauri utar rahi hai maidaan mein. 😎😎😎

LMAO LOOK HOW TINY SHE IS OMG I WANNA PUT HER IN MY POCKET AND CARRY HER AROUNDDDDDD😱😱😱😊😊😊😘😘😘

time for her lame candy trick. 🙄🙄🙄

hahaha, om’s face. 😆😆😆

oufffff what even is going on with tejLana??? ouff i have to go read the written update now. 😒😒😒

eeeeeeeeee. how impressed he looks. my babies! 😊😊😊😘😘😘

[needlekirby]

I only have a few minutes before I turn 18 so just in case I've been cursed by a witch or something let's go over some of the highlights of my young life: -survived multiple epileptic episodes as a young un that I apparently brought on purposefully bc I would throw a tantrum, hold my breath, pass out and induce a seizure to get what I wanted -survived all those times me (or my sister) would wake up in the middle of the night feeling like we couldn't breath and have our parents sit us in front of the running shower until we felt better -survived being hit by a car when I was like 3, the tires went over both my legs and midriff so both my legs were broken. -I also burned my knee and ankle on the fuel pipe so there's two fairly big burn scars there. -The doctors removed my appendix "while they were at it." -The radiologist and the surgeon got into a fight over whether I had one broken leg or two, radiologist won. -I was in two casts for a while and couldn't walk so I went back to being in a stroller, I was just young enough to not need physical therapy and relearned how to walk within a day. -had to be brought into court against the guy who hit me where I sat squeezing a stuffed duck that would quack loudly a few times and make everyone in the courtroom giggle. -walked into first day of first grade and after being asked to introduce myself I had the biggest near-meltdown of my life, my vision was spinning and I was scared stiff but I was saved on the spot by another kid who knew me and gave my name for me and let me sit next to them. -became known as 'the witch' in second grade bc i loved hanging out in the bushes near the playground and scaring the boys who would harass other girls. I fucking adored the nickname. -had my first crush on a girl I became friends with later over Kirby games. -my girl crush, me and another friend created a horror and ghost story club bc we loved the scary stories to tell in the dark books so much. -got the attention of the 'gifted students' teacher (basically she led classes for kids she thought were super smart and lead sessions with them where she would ask them questions and gauge how creative or intelligent they were I think) by being a smartass and saying that red was "orange minus yellow". She had my older sister in her classes and she wanted me IQ tested for this response. -my mom was not crazy about me being in these classes bc they would take time away from my regular classes and put me behind which I think was what was happening m my sister. She gave her permission to have me IQ tested tho and I was brought in from class to take it. She explained to me what was going down and I asked if the test was required. She said no, it was an optional test and I said 'well then I don't think I want to take it' and walked tf out. Mic. Drop. Third grader me was relentless. -read the tale of desperaux so many times that book fucking touched my heart it's good I was crazy about it. -in fourth grade I learned pig pen code and I loved it so much I used it all the time. I still use it now and I can write it without needing to look at a cypher. -I correctly solved the second half of a two-part math problem that needed the answer from the first part, but got the first part wrong and my fourth grade teacher brought my mom in for a meeting bc he had no idea how it did it. -On the last day of fifth grade, the really cool science teacher gave me that fancy dragonology book as a gift and it was the most genuine gesture I received from a teacher ever. -the really cool science teacher taught us that skin can grow around physical objects and that rlly stuck w me. -went on to middle school and somehow wound up in a friend group full of goths and punks, was never either of those. -our middle school had no playground so we'd just walk around the bus parking lot and I brought in chalk to draw w and inspired a back and forth conflict between the school and the students about whether chalk was allowed during recess. -a kid from the outer skirts of the goth/punk/emo/art ho gang committed suicide in 7th grade and his parents blamed their OWN KID for his suicide. -one particularly scary guy from the group said that if anyone else in the group died or killed themselves he'd "take everyone and him all with them." -ended up """going out""" this guy, we were friends at the time but I was still too scared to say no. -this boy asked me one day to 'take our relationship to the next level' I was terrified but I asked what that would be and he said 'holding hands' and I burst out laughing. -this boy would also write me love notes on graph paper with scratchy black pen and sign them off as 'the shadow prince' or some bs. -started playing Pokémon in 8th grade. -burned my first personal cd mixtape in freshman year and made playlists for the next three years and got into tons of different kinds of music. -took drivers ed freshman year and drove on the highway only the second day of behind the wheel. -slept in the classroom part of drivers ed everyday. -there was a filing cabinet in the back of the room that had the words "big booty" scrawled on them in shaky black marker and I miss that filing cabinet a lot. -took beginning art freshman year w the art teacher who hated life and watched two seniors smoke a strawberry shortcake scented hookah right in front of me. Teacher put his feet up on the table. It took a while to come back to another art class after that. -that one day in math 2 when that boy was bothering me about why I didn't shave my vag and the teacher failed him for that m&m graph assignment you do like all the time in math which he was supposed to be helping me do and I got all candies we were supposed to split -took health sophomore year where they honestly tried to tell us that sugar was the chemical equivalent of cocaine and wanted to scream so BADLY. -embarrassed myself at the psychiatrists office which will stick w me forever and anytime I ask for even very minor school accommodations FUCK U 15 YR OLD ME YOU IDIOT -took my last Latin class at the end of junior year at the same time my beloved, blessed, angelic Latin teacher was retiring after like 40 years of teaching at our school. She had amazing stories and was super funny and I miss her desperately. -took high school art for the last time. Our teacher told my friend who had done three whole watercolor pieces to branch out and didn't say a word to the kid who only ever did copic marker pieces. - took only bullshit classes all fall semester including horticulture 1 where we had no teacher for about 2 months. Now I'm finishing my senior year with community college classes and I look forward to more highlight moments now that I'm gonna be an 'adult'. Cheers lads✨🎉

[blogsbyhunt]

An open letter to the man who helped me find myself..

This ones gonna be long, so grab a drink, and get ready. Because i’m gonna take it waaaay back. Back to when I was broken, hurting, and desperate to find love in any form.

I don’t know if you noticed me that way.

I don’t know exactly at first if you looked at me the way I looked at you. You were mysterious. I can read people, like an open book after a few moments. But you? You were hard. Clearly broken. Clearly bent. & clearly not looking to be fixed. But you were so careless, so to speak. So free spirited, free willed, and free hearted. You spoke what was on your mind, you laughed like the world could stop at any given minute, and you let your emotions show clear through your facial expressions. When you smiled, it was obvious whether it was to keep you from falling apart, or whether it was genuine. When you were angry, I could tell. But you never ever let it effect your composure. You always had that sweet little “please don’t break my heart” ring to you. That I’ll give all I have to those around me, but don’t take advantage, sort of respect for everyone. No matter your mood you were always sweet to those who deserved. I loved that about you, your ability to push things aside to be a good person.

The middle pieces.

It wasn’t until i got to know you a little bit that i realized who you really were. You were hard working, an amazing father, and a wonderful friend. You held the weight of the world on your shoulders and never once let it dull your shine. You didn’t know it, but i respected you from the moment i met you. You got caught up in chaos, you got tangled into things you had no control over and started getting beaten down. Day by day, you continued on, it effected you, you tried so hard to pretend it didn’t. So i eased my way in, i asked questions, but never ones to make you think i was in need of information, or trying to involve myself into the situations. I spoke my mind to you, i knew you could handle it well. And then we fell off. Communication cut to a minimum then nothing at all.

The bond.

We started talking again, slowly, letting one another in on the dark parts, the hidden parts, the hard parts, and the insignificant parts. I learned so much about you in what seemed like such a short period of time. I seen you vulnerable, upset, angry, happy, overjoyed, the list could go on and on. I seen parts of you I don’t think you’ve seen yourself, but mostly, I seen you remain you, through it all. You didn’t lose yourself for a second, and I admire that so, so much. That's kind of where it all started.. Kind of where I realized that I wasn’t who I was, but with you, I could be who I was, I could be who was underneath the years of covering it all up. 

The realizations. 

Then, I realized it.. It hit me like ton of bricks. With everyone else I've searched for myself within them. I wanted someone to match my energy, my vibe. I needed someone who craved affection, and needed me the way I needed them. & you did that. You showed me the inside and outside of happiness. You helped me to find the me that I spent years burying, and you brought that girl back to life. Just ike that, my spark returned, just like that, I was the person I was destined to be. I was happy, I wasn’t anxious, I wasn’t scared, and I knew I had what it took to conquer the world. I loved that, I loved that you brought to life who I was with every day that passed, with every moment that continued to go on between us, I found myself becoming me again, every second, of every day. 

The little things.

We kept the little things to our selves. The way you would gently kiss me anytime you had the chance, how you wrapped your arms around me almost every moment you were able. The cute conversations of you getting to know me, me getting to know you. The way you rubbed my back almost knowingly that it calmed my every worry and made me feel so safe and secure within my own skin. I loved it, I loved every moment of the little things. Bu tnothing compares to when you reminded me 100 times a day how beautiful, special, and one of a kind I was. There’s one thing in particular that you did tho, that made me feel so happy inside. You would tell me that I smile with my eyes, I still don’t see it. But when you see it, I can tell. You told me it’s so easy to tell when I’m really smiling because of the carefree look in my eyes. You made me fell things, see things, and believe in myself in a way that no one ever has. You would take the small, insignificant quirks about me, and make me feel like they were actually big things, amazing things, and things worth every ounce of recognition. There’s nothing cuter than your sweet little southern charm reminding me how beautiful I am, saying “yes ma’me” to me, calling me darlin’, holding doors for me, or laughing when I can’t figure out which direction i’m going because I know zero direction, what so ever. 

The memories. 

So even if all I have once you go home for good is all the little memories, even if that’s all i’m left with, I will forver cherish them. I’ll forver remember the first night you kissed me and how scared and nervous you were. How you were terrified of how I would react to it all. You were so slow, and gentle, and you were so fucking nervous. The first time you wrapped your arms around me and kissed my forehead, I swear my heart dropped into my stomach. I swear the world stopped spinning around us. The first time you grabbed me on my patio and told me I was beautiful in the moonlight. The first time you stopped, and made me feel so worth every little thing. I loved it all, every little bit of it. The memories will never, ever be forgotten, and I can confidently say that because you have changed who I am and how I see myself forever. You’ve made hearing my name like something out of my favorite song, you’ve made smiling something I look forward to, you’ve made me feel like no matter what, I’m worth ever ounce of happiness. The memories aren’t just the little things, it’s the big ones to, the times you’d tell me what an amazing woman I am for being so young, the times you’d remind me how far I've come and how amazing it is that I've came that far. 

Who i am because of you. 

Before we formed this crazy, tectonic relationship, I was scared, I was withheld, and I had this wall I spent years building up so high, so scard to be who I really was. I spent so long pretending I was someone I really wasn’t but you made me who I needed to be. You made me see that behind everything I try to be, that who I REALLY am is so much more than enough. You made me see that when I laugh uncontrollably and tearsrun down my cheeks that it’s the most amazing sight in the world. I cannot thank you enough for who you’ve helped me to become. You made me see that even on the bad days, I still got a hold on things. You made me see that even when I’m so stressed anxiety induces false thoughts into my brain, that I am stronger than them. That I have what it takes to beat them and ignore every single one of them. I cannpt thank you enough for helping me to becomes the person I’ve spent years trying to cover up.