#what am i supposed to agree that he's being dramatic bc i as the audience know pete is alive??

[storyteller-ish]

doesn't really sit right with me that they frame tankhun to look crazy and overdramatic during his "funeral" for pete bc firstly, he has every reason to think pete's dead. honestly pete was very close to dying multiple times during his captivity so tankhun was right on the money tbh. secondly tankhun is really being such an amazing boss? he organized a whole ceremony for pete and arranged offerings and joss paper to make sure pete would be set in the afterlife. also when pete showed up, tankhun was the only one not to run or hide and went up and hugged pete even though he thought he was a ZOMBIE.

[astroninaaa]

Hot take a talk about technoblade:

Okay look I've been part of this fandom since August(thank god cuz i watched it all live and it woukd be a nightmare to caatch up) I bring this up cuz i want to discuss my problem with technos character. I have watched every single techno livestream that he made on dream smp and believe it or not i used to be a techno sympathiser that is until doomsday. (By techno apologist standards i am qualified to talk about his character hooray..)

Now techno like every character is flawed if he wasn't he would be boring fandom. One of his biggest flaws is being a hypocrite. That is not something you realise until you compare what he says all the time so you need to look a little deeper to realise it and i don't blame people for not seeing it.

This wouldn't be that much of a problem because that is a character flaw among with many others but the problem that his character has faced is that he doesn't develop much.

Now i hear techno apologist jump at me every single time noooo he isn't a stagnant character he has developed a lot. I am not saying that he hasn't developed at all the problem is that he has developed very little especially when you consider everything.

His goals his ideas his perception of the world what he believes him everything that makes his character him hasn't changed much and that is not a good thing from a writing perspective. Now why do i bring this up. Firstly I'm not saying this to say techno is a bad writer far from it he can be very good when he puts his mind to it. The problem with keeping a character in this state is that it's very harmful for said character first and to the story and other characters second. Look even at yourselves i can guarantee that you aren't the exact same person you were like five years ago for example because during that time you made mistakes learned from them and you grew. Just like in real life you also can't stay stagnant in fiction.

Okay so that's the main problem with technos character that he is stagnant as a character. Now this wouldn't be as big of a problem if he didn't have the role that he has.

You see techno both c! and cc! are very good at the game basically. Now why do i bring this up. The reason why i bring this up is bc of where this places techno whuch is at the very top of the chain don't try and seny it. This means that he is one of the most powerful people on the server if you are going to try and go against this point just look at lmanberg guys that's living proof of how powerful and how terrifying he actually is. I know a lot of you are gonna say but every can get stacked or play the game but you guys forget that even if you are stacked you just don't have the skill and cc! Techno of the best people when it comes to that which bleeds into his character. Saying that is like looking at the upper class than looking at the lower class saying just get rich like it doesn't work like that.

Because of his role techno is literally the 1% by rl standards which means he can a lit of things free of consequences bc no one can give him said consequences. The butcher army was ig an attempt at that but they failed miserably let's be real here.

Because he is in the 1% is incredibly skilled at pvp and can do anything bc no one can challenge him this places him on a pedestal and creates a power imbalance a very big one at that.

And that leads to his biggest problem he has practically everything as said by Techno himself and is never challenged, but that's not an interesting character. An audience gets tired for a character that always wins or loses. Because if it happens repeatedly it just takes all the suspense oh he will win immediately. He will go and slaughter them problem solved. That's it every time. Something that techno himself confirmed is then when he has a problem he just stabs it (both of these were said during the egg stream).

And if you are going to bring the things he went through to say he's changed don't cuz as long as he doesn't act on it it means nothing. Like examples Red festival killed tubbo an ally. Traumatic experience right? This is a good moment to develop his character and give us more insight. What happens? Techno tries to dismiss it and shows us his anxiety and gives us insight on his character Great! Character development? Starting to question himself just a bit or any sign of that event having an effect on him? Nope! Why? Cuz he doesn't act on it instead he tries to hide the fact that ever happened and changes to a different topic bc there is no justification there and he knows it. Nov 16th c!technos pov he just got betrayed caused some damage wished death upon his former allies and left. Quite a dramatic scene. He feels betrayed time for some good old character development. Him thinking about himself and his actions. Reflecting on them. Great moment! Problem: literally everything that shows this is done off camera and now suddenly he's retired... Okay you know what fine it's alright he would probably expand upon and did a timeskip to explain the ling time he didn't stream. I see where it's comming from. The butcher army ge gets hunted down bc actions have consequences techno and you can't just run away like that not after doing that. Great point from the butcher army. Go give him some consequences his character needs it. And then he gets executed alright a bit too far but i guess that's how it goes in this server. Techno gets his life back immediately.. well that was a bit pointless but alright a cool scene for the animatic fair. Then he kills quackity.. the butcher army lost.. this.. what? But this was the moment of consequences... and quackity didn't get it back like techno the butcer aemy lost more than techno what? Moving along he teams up with tommy aannnd the 50 withers are up and ready of course you didn't fully retire what was i expecting. And now team up with tommy perfect way to learn about dream and give more insight on lmanberg and how dream is a tyrant and everything techno is supposed to stand against. The green festival tommy chooses tubbo over techno techno feels betrayed understandable.... and then he teams up with dream lmanberg is destroyed and the underdogs are beaten to the ground loose everything they ever worked for and are taught to be scared of the anarchists?!?!?!?!

Okay now hold up a sec I'll have to stop you right there. What. did. you. just. do. Cuz there is a limit to the amount of stuff you can let a character get away with. The line was crossed months ago this is not good at all.

Also what are yoi guys talking about consequences. Lives? All 3 home? Right there pets? The ones that died were the ones he brought expecting to not live he brought them there on purpose so they don't count. He is one of the most wealthy peoole on the server (no one beats ranboo lol) what did he exactly loose? Friendships? Was that all the hardships you guys have?

Lmanberg lost their home their lives their wealth their pets their friend everything they loved and lived for everything they stood for they lost a part of themselves in the end.

Look at the last 2 paragraphs and how imbalanced that is. How are you guys blind to this How?! And why did doomsday happen? Because the butcher army failed. And if anything techno proved them that they should have punished him harder with this.

So what was the lesson of doomsday?

That you shoukd obey the people on top and never go against them or you will loose everything you love.

Great lesson guys this is exactly the lesson the rich class and every single tyrant tried to teach society and this lesson is being told by the anarchist great job....

Do you see the problem now. This is the reason techno needs a consequence bc if he keeps going like this he will become a Mary Sue. And that is a horrible direction for a character that has a lot of potential. That potential is why i liked his character that much in the beginning but now it's almost non existent. Anyway I'll end this now cuz this went on for too long. That's basically my opinion on it feel free to share your thoughts.

okay. okay. i read this like three times bc. because look

i agree in some very specific points, but i disagree in very broad manners.

(this entire......... essay is all /rp and /nm!!!!)

anyways. send me hot takes!!!

i like c!techno. i personally think he's one of the most fun characters to watch because i enjoy the mess, the crazyness, the chaos of it all. watching doomsday through c!tommy's eyes was painful. watching doomsday through c!techno's eyes was just so fucking hilarious and exciting and fun. he's just a fun character to watch. he's just Funny. i am a fan. however

for starters: ctechno is, 100%, out of the park, an stagnant character. he has little to no development throughout the story. we see no changes in how he acts. that's not necessarily a bad thing, but considering the type of character he is, watching him develop (be it to an actually full-fledged villain or towards a redemption arc) would be ideal to keep him a character people can actually support.

i wouldn't say he's a hypocrite. c!techno has a very strict moral code and he follows it with no hesitation, with no doubts. the point is that his moral code is flawed and skewed. that doesn't make him a hypocrite, that makes him someone with bad morals.

calling c!techno "the 1%" is a stretch. for one- c!ranboo has as much resources, if not more, as c!techno does. he has dozens of totems, thousands of emeralds, and probably has one of the higher counts of diamond and netherite on the server. why is that never brought up? because it doesnt matter. c!foolish has so much gold and diamonds and netherite and just everything, really, and it's also never brought up/a reason for people to be afraid of him. the dream smp isn't a capitalist universe, there's no "1%". specially bc there's, like, i don't know, 20 players? that makes c!techno 1/20 OR 3/20 if we count c!ranboo and c!foolish. but that's not the point at all: the point is that ctechno is feared bc he's skilled and has a relevant personality, not bc he has resources. c!wilbur has no shit and he's still terrifying, there's no character willing to oppose him. not because of resources, but because of who he is. when c!techno first fled from l'manburg into "retirement" he had no shit either, it took him a while to be rich again. no one attacked him either way.

why, you ask? bc he fought against c!quackity with a fucking pickaxe and won. that's why. c!techno doesn't need resources to be feared. the power imbalance doesn't come from his resources, it comes from others’s fear. and they have a reason for that fear, bc c!techno hasn't been defeated yet. that has nothing to do with "upper class" and "lower class". because, one, not a capitalist system and class disparity isn't as simple as that, and two, even without his "riches" he still wins, bc he's got the skill. if you take out the skill, him being rich means nothing and he wouldve been easily killed by the butcher army or c!tommy or whoever decided to kill him. a good example is, once again, c!ranboo: if he wasn't friends with everyone and someone decided to actually fight him like was done with c!techno, he would've died. easily. being rich in the smp is relative.

c!techno will be challenged when we have a character strong enough to challenge him in a way that matters. it's important to be smart about it. that's why i'd love to see, out of everyone, c!philza turn against him, but that's a how other discussion (WHICH I'M WILLING TO TALK ABOUT.......... everytime i make these and i add little point i dont elaborate on and then say i'm willing to talk about them and no one ever asks me to <//3 PAIN /nm /lh).

i do think he's a character that just Always Win in narrative ways and that's very frustrating. he does need to get pulled a few notches down. again, that will only happen when we have a character that can step up to him and challenge him in a way that matters (woooo c!philza you want to hold c!techno accountable for his bullshit so bad woooo........)

now, onto c!techno's trauma. he doesn't need to show it. he- he doesn't. that's........ not how trauma works, and that's one of the points that make his trauma so forgettable for the viewers. c!techno is, from inside out, a character that hardly shows his emotions, but that doesn't mean he doesn't display symptons of trauma. he does, they're just a lot more subtle than other characters's. that doesn't mean he doesn't have any or that he isn't affect by it. c!techno is, in a lot of ways, a lot like c!tubbo: both of them don't mention the shit they've gone through and don't react to it and bc of that some of the viewers don't see how important some traumatic events were in their characterisation. that's why you analyse those characters's trauma through behavior, not through easily seen displays of trauma.

i do think it's taken a little too far with c!techno. the way he reacted to c!tommy's death was...... disappointing, to say the least. c!techno is an underwhelming character in many ways. as said before, it's because he's stagnant. that definitely needs to be worked on.

about the syndicate? yeah, no. theyre not teaching others to fear them. others just Do That bc of their history on the server, but they have literally talked about how they want to better their reputation, bc they don't want to be seen as murderers or oppressors in any way. are they flawed? yes, very much. they have no indicators of what is or isn't a government and they show no regard around the importance of a difference between an oppressive and a democratic government.

they had no right to show up at c!tubbo's door and interrogate him, because they can't appoint themselves as government police. for starters, that's not how anarchy works (they should've had everyone's permission for that. they obviously don't), but also it's just... stupid. it makes it seem that they're trying to boss everyone around so that they live like the syndicate wants them to, which goes directly against the syndicate's own ideals. however, c!techno thinks he has that right. he thinks this is what he's supposed to do. he's just following his moral code - his moral code is just deeply, deeply flawed. what he says and what he does contradict each other but not for him, not to his interpretation. to his interpretation, he's following his strict moral code.

what happened at doomsday was horrible and c!techno has to be held accountable for it, yes, but, again, no character knows how to work around c!techno enough to hold him accountable for it. that's not c!techno's fault.

l'manburg just deserved better, honestly, but to be fair c!techno has been taken advantage of time and time again (sometimes purposefully, sometimes not) and he's fucked up in the head, god bless LMAOOOOOOO

i agree that things need to change otherwise he's just gonna keep being a stagnant character who can get away with everything. i do think he has more to him than meets the eye, tho. meh idk that's still just analysis!!! we have no way of knowing the intent behind c!techno's characterisation, at least not for now. i hope for the best tho cc!techno don't let me down <3

[butterflydm]

2020 (what a weird year)

I did not get very much done this year at all. The business I work for got us all classified as essential workers which... tbh, I did not agree with as a categorization. It’s meant that hours per week stayed the same, but my anxiety levels at work skyrocketed. And most of the time, after getting home, I basically had enough energy to check some stuff online but I mostly needed to decompress by doing something familiar, which I’ve been doing by replaying FFX and FFX2, and my brain mostly hasn’t had room for anything new. Which is a shame for all the plans I had to watch tons of new media! I had a long list of things I wanted to check out and I haven’t really watched any of it.

I did get a chance to watch a few new things (as always, tbh, any recs of mine are basically ‘you will like this thing, if this is the kind of thing you like’):

The Old Guard: Really enjoyed this movie. It’s been out for a while now, but if you haven’t had a chance to watch it, it was a fun, easy watch that also made me think some interesting philosophical questions about life. A good time! It’s honestly the only movie I watched during the 2020 pandemic period, unless I get around to watching anything else in the next couple of days.

MXTX’s Scum Villain’s Self-Saving System: I love love this story. I’ve watched the donghua (looking forward to S2!) and read the translation by BC Novels, and the story just has so many things that make my heart go ‘yes!’: it’s funny, with a charming PoV character who both doesn’t take himself too seriously and also seriously misunderstands himself in a lot of ways -- very relatable. It’s dramatic AF, with romantic lead Luo Binghe at the heart of a lot of that drama. It’s clever and I love the way the premise is used for both humor and pathos.

Tone-wise, it reminds me of works like Galaxy Quest or Northanger Abbey. Honestly, that light tone helps in some of the later chapters, which have content that is actually very dark and very heartbreaking if taken seriously, but because of the momentum of the story and the tone of the narrative, I didn’t feel like I got lost or bogged down in the darkness.

And I love the relationship between Shen Qingqiu and Luo Binghe a whole heck of a lot. I think the way it’s structured is clever and sweet and sad and makes for an interesting story. There is an element of an unintentional romantic obsession that SQQ created by the way he flipped between kind and cruel (against his will, which is what makes it forgivable for the audience, imo, because SQQ wanted to always be kind, though not always for the most selfless of reasons) and how LBH had to try to mentally justify/rationalize how the same man could act in such completely opposing ways. And the narrative symmetry between how SQQ thinks of LBH as the center of the universe because he’s the OP Protagonist (!) but LBH thinks of SQQ as the one that everything revolves around and how that’s narratively true because, of course, in the story that we’re reading, SQQ is the protagonist and LBH is his love interest.

I also actually really appreciated the bad sex near the end of the novel -- sex-to-save-the-world is a trope that can easily get romanticized but here it’s (literally) painful and ugly instead, as all of LBH’s trauma pairs with the influence of Xin Mo on his mind. Even through the translation, it definitely feels like bad sex written well, rather than badly-written sex that is supposed to be good, if you know what I mean. Sex can be an important narrative tool in stories and I feel like MXTX uses it very effectively here.

I think I burnt through the entire translation in just a few days. I’ve been reading a lot of fanfic afterwards and I think my favorite so far is I Wish You Were My Husband by Feynite. It’s an AU but it keeps the same kind of vibe as the original story.

Bridgerton: Goodness, so enjoyable! Julia Quinn is not My Most Favorite of the various romance writers that I read but she was one of the first writers that really got me back into reading romance and it was delightful to see her world on screen. I don’t picture people when I’m reading novels; I have to have a visual first and then I can carry that into the reading, so it was nice to be able to assign faces to some of these characters that I’m already very fond of. Simon and Daphne had a nice amount of chemistry and I loved the Bridgerton family relationships.

I hope they get to cover all the romances in the series and continue to do some updating as well -- I generally liked the changes they made to Simon and Daphne’s romance (a few I wasn’t as into but could see why they’d done it -- mostly For The Drama). And I really loved what they did with Simon and Lady Danbury’s relationship. It took me some time to tell the three older Bridgerton brothers apart but that’s pretty much canon, lol. Anyway, I was invested enough in it all that I stayed up all night on Christmas eve to watch it all and I had no regrets afterward.

I started watching S2 of TharnType but then my work schedule changed and I was working on Fridays and (see above) I just didn’t have the energy to watch anything after work. I might wait and binge the rest of the series once it’s all out, now that it’s gone this long without me being caught up.

I do think I’ll take a break from Critical Role for a while, after it comes back. I’ve just come to an unfortunate place where the show literally cannot win with me re: the romances, as I’m annoyed when they happen but also, perversely, annoyed when they get ignored because my brain goes “they gutted beaujester for this limited amount of inferior romance? At least commit to giving an adequate amount of the romances that I dislike!”. And so it becomes a vicious circle. Good sign that it’s time to take a break. My unhappiness with one part of the show is overshadowing everything else and maybe some time away will change that. Or maybe I just need to pick it up again with campaign 3. I guess I’ll see how it goes. I also admit that I’d hate to pick up the show again only to have Lucien get killed off in a few episodes.

I want to try to watch some more shows in 2021, and maybe I’ll have time, if I’m freeing up several hours every Thursday.

I want to watch Heaven Official’s Blessing and I’ve had a translation of the novel on my phone for the entire year and I really do want to read it as well. I’d like to watch Xiao Zhan and Wang Yibo’s new shows (The Wolf & The Legend of Fei) as the gifsets I’ve seen have been interesting and enjoyable, and there are a bunch of shows that I’d gotten recommendations about after watching TharnType that I still want to check out too. Plus, I have the new Stormlight Archives book and I want to read that as well. So, there’s quite a list.

It’s still probably gonna be quite stressful at work for a while, at least until I’ve had a chance to get the vaccine, but at least I am going back to Thursdays & Fridays as my days off at the start of the year, so I’m looking forward to that. I’m also hoping to get back to my detailed rewatch of The Untamed, because that was so much fun but I did not have enough brain this year to do any more of it.

[forever-rogue]

Falling

Request: Can you please do Tom Hiddleston x y/n where they’re doing an interview for their new movie (Crimson Peak). The interviewer is asking y/n questions, while answering, she says “it’s really easy for him to make you believe he’s in love with you” and then at the end, backstage he tells you it was easy bc he’s actually in love with you (so sorry if this is too specific)

A/N: I always think Tom would just be such a doll all the time! I hope you guys enjoy! Taglists and Requests are open! xx

Pairing: Reader x Tom Hiddleston

Word Count: 2.4k

Warning: so much fluff!

MASTERLIST

“So, what was it really like working with Tom?” the interviewer gave her a big smile as she looked between Y/N and Tom, both of whom had grins plastered on their own faces. Y/N could feel her cheeks heating up at the question. She always dreaded questions like this, fearing that they would discover her secret and out her real feelings to Tom.

“It was a lot of fun, there was definitely never a dull moment on set,” she replied leaning back in her chair, noticing how close his body was to her. She cleared her throat before continuing on, “but really, it’s been an amazing opportunity to work with someone who has a range like Tom. When you’re stuck working with someone so closely for so long it really makes it nice to have someone like him alongside you.”

“You speak very highly of your costar,” the interviewer laughed as she looked between the two of them, keenly aware of how intently Tom was watching Y/N and hanging onto her every word, “now I know this is your first time really doing a romantic film - was it harder to do this kind of role compared to others you’ve had?”

“It was a change of pace, to be sure,” she answered, casting a quick glance in Tom’s direction, “I thought it would be a lot harder, but it actually wasn’t too different. Plus it’s really easy for him to make you believe he’s in love with you, so going along with it was a snap.”

“Tom, what about you? What was it like working with Y/N? It’s both of your first times working together, correct?”

“Indeed it was,” he said in his smooth drawl as leaned forward in his seat and patted Y/N’s knee softly, “and I definitely hope it won’t be the last. You know, it’s hard to find someone you genuinely enjoy working with and then it all comes together, it’s really quite marvelous.”

“Well, I know I speak not just for myself but with everyone else, cannot wait to see the film,” she told the two of them as they nodded and thanked her in response, “it’s been lovely, thanks to the both of you for your time!”

“Thank you,” Y/N smiled at her as she shook her hand and the two of them headed back stage. Tom followed behind her, hand on the small of her back. Once they were in private, she let out a long sigh of relief, “man that was a long one. I hope I came across well!”

“She was a talker,” Tom agreed, “but you did well, as always. Sometimes I wonder if they’re actually interested in the film, or more so about us.”

“You know how people are,” she rolled her eyes dramatically, “they love gossip and drama more than anything else. But I think we kept it from becoming a train wreck, don’t you?”

“I would agree,” he nodded as he looked at her intently for a few moments, “hey, Y/N, can I ask you something?”

“Of course Tom, you know you ask me anything,” she said as she tilted to her head to the side as she looked at him with mild suspicion.

“Yes, right, well-”

“Y/N!” they were suddenly interrupted by their handler, “Tom! We’ve got to get going, your next interview is coming up soon and we need to go!”

“Ugh, so many interviews,” she sighed as she gave him a light shrug of annoyance, “I guess we should go before they get too annoyed with us.”

“Wouldn’t want to do that,” he reluctantly agreed, “do you think we can continue this conversation later?”

“No problem,” she promised as she grabbed his hand and pulled him again with her, “now let’s go before we get yelled at!”

Y/N and Tom were stuck doing interviews for the rest of the afternoon. Each one grew progressively more redundant and repetitive the longer the afternoon went on. It seemed that, indeed, most reporters and members of the press were mostly interested in their personal relationship. They kept throwing pointed questions at both Y/N and Tom, but they just smiled and kept things strictly professional.

Anytime they had a moment to breathe and collect themselves, Tom attempted to approach Y/N and speak his peace to her. The moments were fleeting however, and he grew increasingly frustrated as the day wore on. Y/N sensed that something was off about him, but couldn’t quite place it.

As they were being shuffled to their next to last interview of the day, Tom decided he was done trying to get a word in edgewise and was determined to just go for it, “Y/N?”

“Yes, Thomas?” She asked as they waited backstage, getting ready to go on at any moment. He smiled at her before crossing his arms and adopting a serious expression.

“Listen, what I was attempting to get across earlier-”

“Y/N! Tom! You’ve got 2 minutes before some time,” Y/N waved a hand in acknowledge at the stagehand. Tom sighed as he nervously ran a hand over his beard.

“Go on,” she encouraged him.

“Back in that earlier interview, you said it was easy for me to make it seem like I was in love with you,” he started, and Y/N wondered where he was taking this. Was he making fun of her?

“Tom, I don’t know follow,” she said with a confused expression.

“You guys, it’s time to go on!” Y/N looked at Tom with an apologetic expression.

“Y/N. I have to get this off of my chest or I’ll never say it,” he reached for her arm and stopped her from walking onto the stage, “Y/N, it’s been easy to make it seem like I’m in love with you because I am I am in love with you.”

“What?!” She asked as she was sure her jaw dropped and hit the floor. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I’m in love with you,” he repeated, “I love you, Y/N L/N.”

“Guys! You need come on stage now!” They were drawn out of their conversation and back to reality as the stage hand hissed at them.

“Let’s go, we’ll discuss this afterwards,” Tom promised as he took her and pulled her along with him to the stage. Y/N was dumbfounded and just blindly followed him.

“Ladies and gentlemen: Y/N L/N and Tom Hiddleston!” The cheering from the audience was deafening, but everything seemed so far away as she processed what Tom had told her. How was she supposed to act normal when he had just confessed his love to her?!

The whole time the two of them were on stage with the interviewer, Y/N’s mind was anywhere but on the questions they were being asked. Luckily enough, most of the questions were targeted at Tom and Y/N could just smile and nod at the appropriate times. Her mind was in a haze the whole time until-

“Y/N?” She blinked a few times as she snapped back into reality. She looked at the interviewer in surprised as she let out a minuscule sound of surprise.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” She asked as she tried to sound like she had been somewhat invested in what had been going on.

“I was asked what it was like playing Tom’s love interest?”  She repeated with a bemused smile on her face. Y/N felt her cheeks heating up but cleared her throat nonchalantly.

“It was an amazing experience,“ she said as she snuck a quick glance at Tom, “he’s a really talented actor and I think a lot of us would be lucky to enough have a fraction of the talent he has. It was a lot of fun and when you have a whole crew and cast that get along so well it makes it even better.”

“Was it hard to pretend to be in fall with someone, did it take some getting used to?” Of course the interviewer would ask that.

“No, it wasn’t too bad at all. He’s really easy to get along with and I think we clicked well, and I hope that translated just as well in the film,” Y/N worked her way around the question as best as she could. The interviewer gave her a smile before turning her attention back to Tom. Y/N didn’t mind at all, and continued to get lost in her thoughts. 

As soon as the interviewer thanked them for their time, Y/N practically rushed back stage, trying to catch her breath and clear her thoughts, Tom struggling to keep up with her.

“Y/N!” Tom said as he reached for her hand and she looked at him with an unreadable expression, “are you okay?”

“Am I okay?” She asked in an amused tone. How would he have felt if she had just confessed she loved before they went on!?

“Y/N,” he interrupted her but she kept on rambling, trying to get out a coherent sentence. She wasn’t making any sense, so he decided to stop her by leaning forward and kissing her softly. It definitely got her attention; she stopped trying to speak and kissed him back. It wasn’t the first time they had done, no, they had probably done it at least several dozen times before, those just happened to be in front of the camera. But somehow kissing him in private, no on around watching, was even better, “now I’ve finally gotten your attention.”

“I-ugh-Oh,” she said as she ran a hand thorough her hair, “you got my attention to say the least. Thomas William Hiddleston, you can’t just say something like that right before we go on stage. I’ve gone and made a fool of myself!”

“Y/N, I had to say it, otherwise who knows when I would have gotten the chance,” he said as he touched her cheek gently. She blushed but leaned into his touch nonetheless, “and you were anything but a fool.”

“I’m pretty sure you’d had plenty of times and opportunities to tell me before you silly man,” she chuckled at him, “we’ve been stuck working together for quite some time.”

“I know,” he agreed, “but I wasn’t sure how you felt about me and I would have made a pretty big fool out of myself if I had told you how I felt if you didn’t reciprocate the feelings.”

“What made you finally realize I felt the same?”

“I had inklings that you might have,” he admitted and she groaned at her transparency, “but earlier told you pretty much all but confirmed it during that first interview this morning.”

“But I didn’t admit to anything,,” she said as tried to thing back on earlier in the day.

“You didn’t have to, but I could tell,” he said as he reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I know you well enough by now, Y/N. I knew I had to take my chances. It was now or never.”

“Oh,” she said as she shook her head at herself, “well I’m glad you did. I don’t know if I ever would have.”

“And why not?” He asked her gently and she looked down at the floor in mild embarrassment.

“It’s silly really,” she admitted, “I would just never assume someone like you would ever like someone like me. You’re so accomplished, worldly, and sophisticated. Meanwhile I’m over just...me.”

“And? You’re just as amazing as you think I am,” he reassured her, “trust me, darling you’re absolutely amazing.”

“Thank you,” she said quietly. She looked at Tom’s bright blue eyes, and could see that he wasn’t lying. How could someone as wonderful as him fall for her? Whatever the reason was, she decided she wasn’t going to question it. She gave him a small smile, before deciding to be bold and plant a kiss on him in return. He smiled into her kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist in the moment.

“Wow,”  he said when they pulled apart for some air, “I’m hoping we can do that more often?”

“I think that can definitely be something we do,” she agreed, “it’s even better in real life than in the movie.”

“That’s probably because we don’t have people watching our every move, and cheering,” he suggested.

“Probably, but you know, sometimes the cheering was nice,” she said with a shrug and they both shared a laugh.

“Let me ask you one more question for you, if I may?”

“Anything, Tom.”

“Will you do me the favor of having dinner with me this evening?” She couldn’t believe her luck. She had spent plenty of time with Tom, but this was all different and seemed new again. They were finally getting to be with each other, one on one and in private. 

“I would like nothing more,” she agreed happily, “but just promise me one thing, Thomas.”

“What would that be?”

“Never tell me big bombshells like that again right before an interview. Next time I won’t be as forgiving,” she said as she gently hit him on his arm. He let out an amused chuckle but nodded and promised.

“I’ll just make sure to kiss you,” he shrugged lightly. Y/N was definitely not going to argue with that suggestion.

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[raulsparza]

Great Comet 8/17

I was sitting stage left banquettes, row BC. A lot of this is stuff I didn’t notice the first time around in the orchestra, or specific actor interactions! 

-I told the usher who showed me to my seat that he had, the best job in the world and he wholeheartedly eagerly agreed with me, saying he gets to watch the full show every other night and that he’s started sitting on the opposite side of the stage to get a different view. Everyone involved in this show loves it with everything they have and that is part of what makes it so special. 

-During Prologue Natasha and Sonya cross arms so Natasha drinks Sonya’s shot and Sonya drinks Natasha’s shot what cuties!  

-Dolokhov fist bumps so much i love the little party man

-at “minor charaaacterrrrs’ an ensemble member made eye contact with me and put his thumb and pointer finger close together. I did the same and he nodded emphatically 

-Scott Stangland was on as Pierre and honestly his physical acting blows me away? He moved so slowly and heavily. It seemed like every step took such immense effort because he’s just so weighed down with despair. It really helped me sympathize with Pierre even more than I already had 

-From where I was sitting Pierre’s back was to me when he sat at the piano, but the spot where sheet music usually goes was mirrored, so I was able to see his facial expressions! which is just, so genius. When Pierre wasn’t there the conductor placed an ipad with all his sheet music there

-Anatole walked across stage and rolled his eyes at Pierre when he sang ‘left it toothless and bald’ and ensemble members on the staircase next to me laughed/pointed fingers at Pierre :((( 

-Marya hits every note with such a wonderful balance of aggression and playfullness and it will never cease to amaze me 

-Sonya and Natasha held hands as they walked aw

-Mary and old prince Bolkonsky were onstage this whole time, in the area below the platform by the big door. Mary was reading a bible and bolkonsky was whittling. He trembles SO MUCH him holding a pocket knife was. a fright. 

-At bolkonsky’s “people enjoy me though” I felt a light on me and he made direct eye contact with me and squinted and I squinted back and then he like nodded and waved and I waved back and then he continued singing

-Marya played a cowbell upstage later on in the song

-I was like right in line with the violist and two cellists and I kept getting distracted by how crazy their shifts and slides are omg

-During the Opera for “no I am enjoying myself at home this evening” Pierre did a half-hearted/sarcastic ‘raise the roof’ motion

-there is one point, I cannot for the life of me remember when it happened bc I was so caught off guard, but Anatole like crawled on the woman in front of me and had his mouth up to her ear and his hand was on the back of the seat literally inches away from my knee and it was. A lot. ((later he gave this woman the most intense bedroom eyes and like, damn. Natasha, girl, I get it))

- At anatole’s “we’re off to the club” he dramatically swings on his leather vest, grabbing it out of Pierre’s salon

-at one point Anatole turned away from pierre and leaned on a bar and blew air out of his mouth to flutter his lips it was so goofy

-okay the strobe lights paired with the music so intense I could feel the stage vibrating paired with everyone in the fricken bdsm leather outfits made for,, the most surreal experience of my entire life

-Marya dragging that riding crop slooooowwwllyy through her legs like? kill me? wow?

-Balaga literally lifted Sonya up on the ledge above where bolkonsky had been sitting earlier and mimed eating her out and sonya  tilted her head back so it was kinda under another girl’s skirt geez. And then later at the bouncy ‘here’s to the health of married woman’ part balaga gave sonya a piggy back ride?? Like jumping with her on his back omg

-Helene and Dolokhov full on kiss and the music short circuits and everyone falls to the ground and it was so fricken intense

-Pierre puts his arms out before Dolokhov raises his gun like he’s just so ready to die and it. h u r t s

-after dolokhov shot pierre doubled over and stayed that way for so long. Long enough for an ensemble member to lean over and mime to ask if he was okay

-dust and ashes started off so tentatively and timidly he’s so hurt and scared but by the end he’s fiercely grabbing the air in front of him, so resolved to change and I love love love the contrast

-during charming two people hold up the dress for Natasha to glide into and then she walked downstage a little and looked at Helene like um, help? And then the two girls came up and buttoned the back of the dress for her.

-Natasha’s eyes glittered so intently during the ball. Her and Anatole dancing was so mesmerizing it really felt like they were the only two people in the room

-when she said ‘you’re hurting my hand’ Anatole released her so quickly and held his hands up in surrender and shook his head a little

-anatole and Natasha kissed for like a full minute and everyone on stage, every ensemble member, every musician, every part of the cast, held a glass of water and rubbed the rim to produce such an eerie sound. I didn’t see anyone pick up or put down these glasses I swear they materialized out of thin air

-during letters Anatole went on his knees and wrapped his arms around natashas waist and she makes a stubborn ‘I won’t look at you face’ and averts her eyes. Anatole kept moving his head around to try and make eye contact and he held out the last just say yessssss for so long his voice wavered and almost cut out and then came back in lucas steele is so good at hogging all of the attention

-sonya alone made me cry so very very much bc brittain ashford is a literal goddess

-anatole fumbled putting his suspenders on during preperations and I don’t know if it was lucas having trouble or Anatole being nervous but either way it was adorable

-Before the show started we had all been instructed that, at the line ‘everyone raise a glass’ we were supposed to mime raising a glass. We all practiced. It was swell. Cut forward to the abduction. I’m mesmerized by anatole’s coat. So mesmerized that I didn’t fully process that he had sung “everyone raise a glass” until I saw Marya out of the corner of my eye. I turn and shes glaring at me. So intensely. Of course she is. I missed my cue. I’ve brought shame on this family. I tentatively raise an arm, miming holding a glass. She leans across the couple sitting next to me and really aggressively puts two arms out in front of her. In my face. In this moment I thought Grace McLean was literally and truly going to strangle me, and I was ready. But my self-preservation instincts kicked in and I raised my other arm as well. She started to back away and then I pick up my water bottle and lift that, so I have one arm miming a glass and the other holding a water bottle and finally she looked satisfied. Thoroughly exasperated, but satisfied.

-everyone swayed back and forth in the audience once we were all successfully raising glasses and it was really special

-Dolokhov handed his guitar to the kid in front of me and shouted “can you hold this?? I need to go DANCE!”

-Anatole wildly and randomly playing his violin with the most crazed look on his face

-Helene and Marya kissing and touching, teasing and hungry 

-Pierre started to do the ‘woooaaAAhhaHHh’ bit but he stopped, breathing heavy. Faked starting again and stopped and then finally did it for real LOL

-for ‘that’s the way’ about the fur coat Cathryn caught my eye and pointed and nodded

-During my house (which marya killed. I mean of course she did. She had almost strangled me for not following directions of course she was able to rip anatole kuragin a new one with just her voice), at one point when Natasha was running away Sonya leaned forward and silently mouthed PLEASE with so much horror and helplessness

-When pierre went to find Anatole, Anatole was lying with his head in helenes lap and she was petting his hair

-later when pierre was confronting Anatole with how awful he was Anatole was cowering and pulling at his hair so stressed and overwhelmed

-when Andrey is done talking with pierre he goes upstage and pushes past mary so gruffly but also in an annoying brotherly way. Poor mary. Always poor mary.

-Natasha walked down the stairs sO gingerly, toes, mid-foot, heel, whole body shakes, hands gripping the bannister with every ounce of strength she had

-pierre delivered the spoken lines so shyly/tenderly, ashamed of himself and who he was. I cried.

-and I sobbed through the entirety of the last song. From where I was the comet was in my line of sight before pierre, so being able to see that giant force of energy and looking just past that to see pierre, dwarfed in comparison, gazing up in such awe, wrecked me. The eerie tangling otherworldly notes are the perfect way to end the show, as everyone stares along with pierre at the great comet of 1812

 And, this is my short version. Oh dear. If anyone read this and wants to talk even more in depth about this beautiful beautiful show pls do that immediately.