#what happened lmfao

[artificiary-fr]

man, the lowkey existential horror of realizing its been so many years (really???) since i've had this blog that theres ppl im following that havent posted in like 7 years. i feel like i might be one of them. lmao.

hi everyone who even remembers i exist, been a while!!

[snixx]

@ my swiftie moots are yall ok

[vampyrsm]

top ten questions that not even scientists can answer: why did gran torino shrink to the size of a potato when he was HUGE

[mobius-m-mobius]

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever.

[dumplingsjinson]

List of “things they say that makes my heart melt and my knees weak” prompts 

“I can kiss you forever,” Character B murmurs. “Yeah?” Character A says, laughing a little, only to stop when Character B leans in and presses a kiss against their cheek. “Yeah,” Character B says, “Yeah, I can. You think I’m lying?” (As I said, forever ingrained in my brain. I cannot fucking believe this isn’t just fictional shit characters in books/fics say-) 

“You make me so happy.”

“I’m just… Happy for your existence, y’know?”

“You’re going to have to teach me so many things because I’m not familiar with any of this.” “Okay. So… What do you want me to teach you? Where should we start?”

“Here, put your hand under my shirt. It’s more comfortable that way,” Character B says as they lift their shirt slightly, encouraging Character A to slip their hand underneath and letting their warm palm rest against their bare skin. 

“You’re so cute.”

“You’re so adorable.”

“You’re so comfy and cozy.”

“You’re so warm and cuddly.”

“You smell so good,” Character B whispers as they continue to litter kisses down Character A’s jaw and neck, revelling in the noises Character A lets involuntarily slip out of their mouth. 

“Mm, I think you’re the one who wants more cuddles,” Character B murmurs, pulling Character A back into their arms. “Nah, I think you’re the one who wants that. I mean, look at you,” Character A teases, settling comfortably in their arms. 

“Why don’t you try kissing my neck? If you don’t then I’m gonna kiss yours.” “You’re acting like you weren’t just kissing my neck for the thousandth time already just then.”

Character B saying “Stay for tonight?” throughout the whole thing and asking “Are you sure you don’t want to stay?” as Character A gets out of bed still in a daze, ready to leave (but not really wanting to leave but they’ve already told their parents they will be home by the end of the night), while Character B looks up at them imploringly while they’re tying their shoelaces.

“Sorry, I’m just really new to this,” Character A mumbles, burying their face in Character B’s chest out of embarrassment. “Mm, that’s fine. We can take things slow. There’s no rush,” Character B reassures in a hushed murmur, carding their fingers through Character A’s hair.

“I’m not familiar with this,” Character A whines as Character B continues to hug them to their chest. “Yeah? Well, you’re going to have to get familiar because I’m going to be doing this a lot,” Character B teases.

“So… What’s the next date going to be?” Character B murmurs, nuzzling their face on Character A’s neck.

“Tell me if this is too much, okay?”

“You seem a little warm in that, you sure you don’t want to take that off?” and then after Character A says no a few times because they’re wearing only a singlet under that shirt, they say, “You can always wear my shirt instead if that’s the case.” 

“You know, you can hold my hand in public if you wanted to,” Character A murmurs into Character B’s chest. “Well… I did want to hold your hand but I wasn’t sure if you were comfortable with it,” Character B answers, holding Character A a little tighter to them. “Next time, though,” Character B tacks on affectionately. 

Saying “Let’s go back home” rather than “Let’s go back to my place” (to me it feels like they’re implying “This is your home too and you can come back any time you’d like”, even though that’s probably not what they’re saying but I’m gonna interpret it that way because I am: Delusional as fuck!) 

[cj-the-random-artist]

Here's a Cult of the Lamb comic that I scripted on a whim and then spent. Actual time on.

I hope y'all like this cuz it was fun to make and. I spent actual time on it lmfao

(Also for the "brought Narinder back" line. I started a new save and I swear between my two saves he's died three times. This guy. Goodness gracious.)

[renasy]

FINAL FANTASY VII REBIRTH

"Sephiroth? ...I knew he was strong, but still…"

[virescent-v]

Except Me?

A/N: Happy Saturday morning!! ;) Back with another smutty Emily x fem!reader fic. Enjoy :P Warnings: Honestly, if you've read my stuff before, same apply lol. Word Count: 2080

“Is everybody around here getting laid except me?” 

“Well, I’m not,” Rossi had said. 

You just stood there frozen. 

Because while the statement itself was rhetorical, you definitely weren’t thinking that way.

But now you were thinking about getting laid. 

With a certain unit chief. 

So that everyone around here was getting laid. 

Of course, Emily had no idea that you’ve been harboring a crush on her since your arrival to the BAU over three months ago. You’d heard of the infamous Emily Prentiss and the legendary things her team did. You worked your ass off to get your spot on the team and, while you didn’t want to fuck it up, you certainly wanted to fuck. 

You avoided eye contact with everyone that was standing there, not wanting the profilers to catch a glimpse of the rising heat on your cheeks. You quietly excused yourself and made a beeline for the bathrooms. 

“What’s gotten into her?” Rossi asked. 

Emily and JJ shared a look; JJ’s slightly more concerned, while Emily’s was one of curiosity. 

“I don’t know. Maybe she didn’t feel comfortable with all of the talk about getting laid?” JJ asked, twirling the ring on her finger. 

Emily’s head cocked a little to the side, considering. You hadn’t seemed like the prudish type, but she really didn’t know you too well, seeing as you’d only been here a few months and she was your boss. She made a mental note to check in on you in a little bit, seeing as she had never seen you run off from a conversation before. 

The conversation had lulled and everyone had moved their separate ways, Emily heading straight for her office. After a bit of time, she glanced up from her desk, gazed out into the bullpen. She could see you from her office, especially since you were the only one currently around, the only one at your desk. You had some files open on your desk, but you weren’t working on any of them. You were fidgeting; your knee was bouncing like you were anxious and you were playing with the pen you were supposed to be writing with. Emily had never seen you so distracted before. 

Making a quick decision, she stood up, walked to her office door. “Hey,” she said, grabbing your attention immediately, breaking the silence surrounding you. “My office, now, please.” 

You looked at her, an almost panicked look on your face. Interesting, Emily thought. 

You made your way into her office. “Shut the door behind you,” Emily said. 

You could feel your heart rate increase. Like you had just been called into the principal’s office. You made your way across the room, sitting yourself in the chair across from her desk. You were fidgeting even more with the cuffs on your blazer, trying your hardest to not make eye contact with Emily. You knew that she had no idea what was going on and if you could just control yourself a little bit more, you probably wouldn’t even be in here with your boss obviously profiling you. 

You could feel Emily’s eyes watching you, tracking your every movement. While the BAU tried very hard to not profile each other, you knew that with your behavior you were likely being observed. 

Emily let you sit and stew for a few moments, watching you. She had never seen you act so…anxious. And while she knew that part of that was from being called into her office, there was obviously something else going on. “What’s going on?” 

Your eyes shot up to hers. She looked so beautiful. Concerned, but curious. You could see yourself slipping under their spell, like you should just say what was going on. But you held yourself back. “Nothing. Just, uh…just feeling a little, um, anxious today, I guess.” Even your voice was shaky. You could hardly keep eye contact with her while talking. You knew all of Emily’s profiler alarms were going off. You just hoped she didn’t ask too many more questions. 

“You were fine this morning until our conversation in the hallway. Is your anxiousness right now about that?” She asked. 

Your eyes darted toward the right. “No,” you said unconvincingly, your voice managing to crack on the single syllable. You almost scoffed at yourself. You needed to get it together before Emily caught on even more than she already had. 

Emily’s head tilted, watching you now with narrow eyes. “Try answering that again, but a bit more convincingly,” she teased. 

You glanced up under your eyelashes at Emily, trying to figure out what was going on. She sounded like she was just teasing you, not having figured out what was really going on with you yet. 

“I could tell that our conversation made you uncomfortable. You all but ran off to the bathroom. I’m sorry if it was too much,” Emily stated, her hands folded neatly in front of her, resting on her thighs. Her well toned, strong thighs that you just wanted wrapped around your head. 

Shit, I’ve got to stop or she’s going to be able to read me like an open book, you thought. You cleared your throat, feeling another wave of heat rush to your cheeks. 

Emily smirked to herself. She had watched your eyes linger on her hands, drift around her thighs, before registering what you were doing, snapping yourself back to reality. Interesting, she thought. 

Emily decided to see if her suspicions were right - if you were harboring something for her, even if it was just lustful thoughts. 

She got up from her chair and basically stalked around her desk, stopping in front of you with her hands on her hips. You refused to meet her eyes, keeping them on her shoes in front of you, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth. 

Emily didn’t say anything, just watching you squirm in front of her for a few minutes. 

When she didn’t speak, you pulled your face up, your gaze immediately connecting with Emily’s. 

“Did it make you feel some type of way when I said I wasn’t getting laid?” She asked. 

You almost choked on air, coughing slightly to recover. “Wh-what?” You couldn’t believe she would just ask straight out like that and now you were worried she was catching on. 

Emily tilted her head, her eyes scanning your face. “How did you feel earlier when I said I wasn’t getting fucked?” 

Your breath stuttered, an immediate flush taking over your face and upper chest. 

Emily had to hold back the smirk that was threatening to take over as she watched your eyes dilate almost to the point of black. She leaned forward placing both of her hands on the arms of the chair you were sitting in, her face so close to yours that it felt like you were about to go cross-eyed. This close, you could smell her earthy perfume, feel her breath against your lips. 

You had to hold yourself back from launching forward and capturing her lips with yours. 

“Do you want to be the one to change that?” Emily asked, her hand coming up to your face, her thumb tracing over your lower lip. “Do you want to be the one to finally make me cum on fingers that aren’t my own?” 

“Christ, Emily-” you started. 

“Yes or no, pretty girl.” 

You took her thumb into your mouth, your tongue tracing around it once, twice, before letting it pop out. “Fuck yes.” 

Emily finally let the smirk cross her features. “Then on your knees, angel. I want to cum all over that pretty little face of yours.” 

You’ve never gotten out of a chair so fast in your life, the sound of your knees hitting the floor almost echoing in the small office. You reached up to Emily’s waistband, eager to undo her pants to finally get a taste for what you’ve been thinking about for months. 

But Emily’s hands smacked yours away. “Uh huh, where are your manners?” 

Sitting back on your knees, you glanced up at Emily from under your lashes, giving her your best pout. “Please, ma’am, can I taste your pussy?” 

Emily wanted to roll her eyes at your little display, but she found herself getting turned on by how eager you were to please her. “Take your shirt and bra off first. I want to see more of you.” 

You didn’t hesitate. It didn’t even cross your mind that you were at work, in Emily’s office, that she was your boss. All you could think about was getting to be the one to make her cum. 

You whipped your shirt off, throwing it across the room, your bra following after. You watched as Emily licked her lips as she started to undo her own pants, pulling her panties down too. “You’re so beautiful, angel. Once I cum enough to statiate me, I’m going to fuck you until you can’t remember your own name.” 

Your eyes tracked her panties going down her legs, the ones you couldn’t stop staring at earlier. As they got kicked to the side, your gaze traveled back up her delicious legs and zeroed in on her already wet cunt. You let out a little whimper at the moisture you saw waiting for you. “Please, Em, can I?” You asked, never taking your eyes off of the prize in front of you. 

Emily’s hand found its way into your hair, holding it back off of your face. “Make me cum, pretty girl.” 

You moaned indecently at the first tangy taste of her on your tongue, your eyes rolling back into your head. Your hands gripped her thighs, keeping them apart as your mouth went to work. You took your time exploring her, getting to know what kind of movements she liked, what made her hips twitch, what made her grip in your hair get a little tighter, slowly building her up. 

By the time your tongue focused on Emily’s swollen, throbbing clit, you could hear her panting above you, her hips gyrating to a beat that pushed her closer to the edge. 

You alternated between tight, little circles around her clit and broad strokes up and down that made Emily’s breath stutter in her chest. You could tell that she was trying her best to hold back the noises she so desperately wanted to make. You hoped to hear them soon. 

“I’m so close,” Emily breathed out. “Make me cum, make me cum,” she whispered, both hands finding their way into your hair, guiding your face to her clit. “Put your fingers in me now.” 

You knew better than to test her patience; you could almost taste how close she was. You wasted no time, easily sliding two of your fingers into her dripping core. 

Moaning into her cunt at how warm and wet she was, you started a brutal pace, curling your fingers so with each thrust they hit against her sweet spot. Within a few plunges of your fingers, you could feel Emily’s thighs begin to shake, her inner walls tightening down as if trying to keep you inside. 

“Ungh, fu-fuck, I’m gon-gonna cum,” Emily whimpered. 

With one final thrust in, you focused on pushing against her g-spot in a pulsating motion, your tongue flicking fast and hard against her clit. You moaned against her, the added vibrations sending her over the edge. 

One of Emily’s hands gripped tighter in your hair while the other clamped over her own mouth to muffle her moans. You continued to fuck her through her orgasm, making sure she got the most pleasure. 

As she finally came down fully, you slowly removed your fingers and mouth, not wanting to make her too sensitive. 

You slipped your fingers into your own mouth, your tongue wrapping around them and sucking them clean, appreciating the taste of her. 

“Fuck,” Emily said, looking down at you. “You busy after work?” 

You threw your head back a little chuckling. “Whaddya know, my schedule just opened up.” 

Emily smiled, helping you up from your position on the floor. Her hand started caressing your hip, slowly making their way up your chest, circling each nipple before wrapping her hand around your throat. “Good, I have plans for you that involve you cumming all over my cock. Sound good?” 

You whimpered before hungrily nodding your head. 

Emily’s eyes darkened, a devious smirk replacing her earlier easy smile. “I’ll see you at seven at my place, pretty girl. Don’t be late.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”  

[meownotgood]

haha hey so apparently someone stole my whole fic... copy and pasted except for tiny things changed... here is the link to their """fic""" (sorry random person I had to steal the reblog from). they've since deleted the fic off their blog + deleted their ao3 + gone on a hiatus so..... that's cool and whatever....... but they have written a lot of other shit so... don't be a dick but maybe check that for funny business too...

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[brotherlouis]

guys, it's been years,,, I think I've finally gotten the courage to ask... what the fuck even is the plot of the Vampire Chronicles?

[buwheal]

Damn, Spam, did the cake taste that bad? - bad joke. Sorry you're havin' a rough day. We're here if you need to talk, or if you just need a distraction.

[alukaforyou]

if nardo was a kdrama, this would be the mads photoshoot for 1st look / dazed / w korea to promo the hashimada vote episode.

[svtskneecaps]

ok among my favorite parts of qsmp is the fact that charlie slimecicle can only hold the act of being mad at mariana when mariana isn't in the room. like he successfully rp'd being mad at his deadbeat puta esposa for months while mariana wasn't logging on, like he complained about mariana at the wedding, during the election, in subsequent appearances, and then he's messaging mariana in the chat during purgatory and he's still holding it

and then they're both at spawn like as close to face to face as they get. and bro CANNOT hold the act it drops so fast lmfao he was like "yea cellbit i'm gonna kill mariana" and instead they have a genuinely heartfelt conversation and then rp sexo in the fountain

and i know i'm brainrotting purgatory rn but i'm actually thinking about this bc i saw a clip of mariana and slime talking during the awards show and literally. slime's face goes from 😡🤬 MARIANA'S HERE, SAY SOMETHING PUTA ESPOSA to 😄😁 the second mariana shows up on the screen

like he's still pretending to be mad but dude is grinning like absolute crazy and i love that

[silusvesuius]

steer clear of ....the illigitimate child of... nvm

[venomgaia]

Detonation imminent

Based off something that happened in my first playthrough of act 3. a heads up would have been nice, Larian!!

ft. the winner of this encounter