#what she IS going to do is shoot that nazi in the chest several times after he kidnaps her AGAIN

[aingeal98]

Thought about Daisy Johnson too long again. 7 dead 5 injured.

[mrsalwayswrite]

Murder Is Not On The Schedule (Ron Speirs x Reader)

So this is loosely based on a prompt I found on Pinterest about murder not being on today’s schedule and immediately thought SPEIRS! I also wasn’t feeling great this week so I wanted to write something lighthearted...ya know? So this is what my brain came up with. 

Warnings: some swearing, sexual tension (cuz i can’t seem to write Speirs without it...sorry?), my poor attempts at humor

Words:2500

Tag List: @happyveday​ @sydney-m​ @saritanotserena​

  The sound of mortars and 88s followed me as I walked into the room being used for Captain Speirs' office in Haguenau. Those same sounds should be terrifying but no one flinched anymore thanks to Bastogne. The office was in the back of Easy HQ, looking towards the river. All the walls and windows were still intact, even if the place was dreary and drafty, it fulfilled its purpose. 

 Speirs, who had been staring out the window in parade rest, turned around to lean back against the window and looked over at me. "Lip in bed?"

 "Yeah. Finally convinced him that I could handle it." I dropped down onto one of the two chairs. Both chairs were placed at the table which occupied the center of the room. 

 Lipton was an admirable man, second only to Winters himself. But Christ Almighty, he had to be the worst patient with his perpetual refusal to rest. I did not envy any of the medics who were diligently trying to take care of him. It pretty much took both myself and Luz to drag him to one of the cots in the back and me swearing in blood that if I needed help, I would find him. 

 And if I threatened him a little, no one needs to know, right?

 "Well, I appreciate you stepping up and taking over for Lipton while he is sick."

 I shrugged, already looking at all the paperwork spread out on the table. "He kept us together while in Bastogne. It's the least I can do. Besides, I used to be a secretary before joining up. It's not a problem."

 "Lucky us." He murmured, distractedly. One of his hands tapped a repetitive pattern on his thigh as he seemed to stare at nothing. 

 I knew there was to be a patrol tonight. A prisoner snatch. From what little I had overheard and observed, it weighed heavily on both Lipton and Speirs. My guess was all the names had not been chosen yet on who had to go. Glancing at Speirs, eyebrows furrowed just slightly, repetitive tapping, biting just the inside corner of his lip...he was working on the list in his head. 

 I could not help it as my eyes traced his jawline...his messy hair that looked so damn soft...those dark eyes that pierce your soul but also lit up like a beacon when amused. He looked like a rugged, dirty Greek god with an affinity for bloodlust. Even his hands looked perfect to hold my--

 You are here to help. NOT OGLE YOUR CO! 

 Even if he is pretty.

 Handsome?

 Gorgeous?

 Wet dream worthy?

 Whoa! Too much. Pull up, you buffoon! 

 With all my willpower, I turned back to focus on organizing the reports on the table and checking to make sure we had enough paper. Who knew the army used so much paperwork? Everything had to be documented. I could see why it seemed Winters never left his office...or Nixon. Without Lipton's help, I doubted Speirs would ever see his men. I absent-mindedly wondered if I should offer to help out more often. 

 Obviously out of the goodness of my heart and not to ogle the handsome devil currently before me. 

 Nope. 

 Several minutes later, there was a knock on the door. After Speirs bid them enter, two replacements stepped into the room. Their ODs were clean, helmets practically sparkled in the sunlight, eagerness written all over their faces. They did not carry the weariness from the Ardennes on their shoulders. They still looked like boys wanting to play soldier with the other neighborhood kids. All I could figure was they had gotten dropped off with the other soldiers returning from the hospital. 

 Both rapidly saluted Speirs, who only lazily saluted in response, still leaning against the window. 

 "Captain, sir." The shorter of the two spoke first, practically bouncing on his toes. "We were wondering if we'd see some action soon."

 The other one chimed in, a proud smile exaggerating his chubby cheeks. "Yeah, we heard a rumor there's a patrol. Sir, we're ready to get our rifles dirty by killing Krauts, sir."

 Christ. These two are greener than the Jolly Green Giant. 

 I quickly muffled a snort by turning it into a cough. It must have not been as subtle as I hoped with the side-eye Speirs gave me. 

 Speirs sighed, crossing his arms across his chest. "Your platoon leader will let you know. I suggest you head back to your OP… and try not to get hit by mortars or snipers on your way there."

 The two glanced at one another, seeming to remember that Nazis were just as likely to kill them. A necessary reminder. After another round of salutes, they hurried out and closed the door behind them.

 "Jesus Christ! If I hear those two asking about killing Krauts again, I'll shoot them both…. And murder wasn't on my agenda today."

 "Murder usually isn't on anyone's agenda." I murmured, making notes on a supply list. We definitely needed more ammo...and chocolate bars. There might be a mutiny if we did not receive more chocolate bars and cigarettes. 

 "No, it's on mine. Just not until Thursday."

 Wait….

 ...What?

 My head whipped up to stare at Speirs. I honestly was unsure if he was joking or serious. I mean, hell, we all knew the rumors about him. With his signature serious expression, he held my gaze, as if waiting for me to question him. I chose not to. Really, I believed him. He would be the one to throw a grenade near his men to get them to pay attention. Or get bored and sneak into the enemy's camp to steal their rifles or something just to mess with them.  

 Then I saw the twitch of his lips, forcing back a smile. 

 At that I laughed, shaking my head. "No offense, sir, but I think we need to find something better for you to do with your time."

 "Oh?" He tipped his head slightly, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. "Like what?" 

 Me.

 Shit. Don't say that aloud. 

 "Mmm…" I tapped my lip with my finger, pretending to think about it. "Preferably something other than terrorizing your men."

 "Ah, but it's fun. You should join me."

 I shook my head, not even trying to suppress the indulgent smile on my face. What had my life become? Here I was joking with CAPTAIN SPEIRS about committing murder…. for fun? Later I should question my sanity, but right now, I was more than amused to see him in this new lightheartedness. I had only ever seen him always stoic, poised, ready for anything in war. I found this new side of him only increased his attractiveness. 

 Damn it. 

 "What are you doing on Thursday?" He probed, still watching me with a hawk-like gaze. 

 I shrugged my shoulders, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. If he was going to joke around, I felt I could return the favor. "Maybe I'm going on a date."

 "With who?"

 "Whoever can afford me, I guess."

 He laughed, widening my own smile. I had never heard him laugh before, and if I could admit it to myself, the world was missing out without that sound. He shoved off the window, to come sit on the corner of the table, one leg dangling off the side, almost touching the chair I sat on. "And what would a date with you consist of?"

 I thought back to before the war. Back before I was weighed down by pain and death. What my life had once entailed. "An elegant dinner at the best restaurant around. Pictures or dancing afterwards. I'm not picky. Then after all that, if I had a very good time, I might be tempted to bring him back to my apartment for some late-night drinks and, well, we'd see where it went from there. But don't tell my mother that last part."

 "Sounds like you've got it all planned out."

 "I'm a lady who knows what she wants."

 "Mmm…" He ran a hand over the stubble growing on his jaw. "I need to change my schedule for Thursday now."

 This information you are trying to process does not compute. Please try again.

 "You taking me out on the date?" I teased back, leaning back slightly in my chair. Mentally, I prepared for him to make a joke about killing whomever was taking me out for the company's sake or something along those lines, since the idea of him having interest in me was preposterous. 

 In one swift move, he shifted over so his leg was between mine allowing him to lean forward and hover over me. The air between us suddenly felt hot compared to the rest of the room. Those dark eyes scanned me, as if slowly undressing me with both the utmost care but also unbridled passion. "Yes. Though we might have to skip with the elegant dinner. I'll share the better parts of the K rations. We also might need to skip the pictures or dancing. But I am positive I can steal some of Nixon's Vat 69 and we can go straight to the late-night drinks. Of course, I'll be a gentleman and let the lady decide what happens after." He finished with a cocky wink at me. 

 Holy mother of-

 I was not ready for that. 

 I could only stare at him for a long moment. My body practically throbbed for him with the image he painted in my mind. The way his voice became so smooth and sensual. The peak of his tongue as he quickly licked his lips before speaking. Now he sat there, his leg dangling between mine, keeping me glued to my seat. Subtly, I tried to press my thighs together to alleviate some of the pressure building. Not that it helped with his intense gaze making my heart beat faster and his lazy smile telling me he KNEW the effect he was having on me. 

 Act cool. 

 Act cool! 

 Play it off! 

 I leaned forward, smirking. "Do you always offer to take your executive officers out on a date? If so, I can see why Lipton likes you so much."

 He chuckled, eyes alluring and heated. "No, not all of them. Just the ones that I've been admiring for some time." 

 Well shit. 

 Abort. 

 Abort! 

 Don't you dare, you've dreamed about this man before. Ride it out, you coward! 

 I blinked in surprise but before I could respond, he had already made his move. He leaned forward and braced his hands on the arms of my chair, hovering over me. His face now was only inches from mine. I was positive he could hear how fast my heart was beating. My lips parted, trying to encourage breath into my lungs that were struggling to send oxygen to my brain. His eyes drifted down to my lips and lingered there. As if in compliance, my own eyes glanced at his lips, how soft they looked, even slightly chapped still from our time in Bastogne. His hands slid ever so slowly further up the arms of the chair, stopping just next to my elbows. Now I could see the faint lines around his eyes. His hair slipped forward, calling my eyes upward. I struggled to not reach forward and touch it. To see how it felt with my fingers running through it. A soft chuckle had my eyes snapped back to his, as he watched me with an intensity that border-lined frightening and lascivious. 

 I gulped. "Captain Speirs…"

 "No," he just barely ran the tip of his nose over the shell of my ear. His hot breath caressed my skin. My eyes fluttered closed on their own accord; my body unable to handle the pleasurable sensation. He whispered into my ear, voice fully commanding and salacious. "No, you call me Ron when we're alone."

 Mission control. We are going down. I repeat we are going down in flames! 

 My underwear was not prepared for this! 

 "Ron." I liked the way his name rolled off my lips. If the quiet, sharp inhale from him said anyway, he liked the way it sounded too. Tilting my head just the slightest, I could look up into those dark, smoldering eyes. Our lips though...I could taste his breath on my tongue. I could feel the warmth from his skin radiating onto mine, turning me into a puddle of desire.

 Oh God, he smelled like everything that is beautifully masculine. Not the nasty, sweaty teenage boy but the pheromones that make your ovaries take notice and your uterus demands for something to be done with it. How was that possible? 

 "I'll...um, I'll make sure to add this to your schedule on Thursday." I whispered, almost able to feel his lips ghost over mine as my lips formed each word. 

 "Excellent."

 His hand trailed up my arm, setting fire to my nerves. Gently, he wrapped it around the base of my throat, his thumb rubbing a pattern into my skin. The whole time our eyes remained locked. His pupils dilated, desire coloring them and I wondered if mine looked the same. The small amount of air between us was thick with tension and salacity. My body screamed for me to drag him down and crash our lips together. To see if he tasted as good as he looked. My hands were stuck in my lap though. It felt like we were in a stalemate, unable to move forward, to take that next step.

 If something does not happen, I swear I will spontaneously combust! 

 Then someone knocked on the closed door. 

 .

 .

 .

 Dear universe. That was NOT what I meant! 

 With a sigh, he slipped his hand up to rub his thumb along my bottom lip for the briefest of seconds. I swear the regret coursing through my veins, I could see mirrored in his eyes. Ever so slowly he retracted his hand and leaned back, but stayed on the edge of his desk, his leg still between mine. 

 "Enter." He called out, only turning his heavy gaze from mine when the person stepped through. 

 First Sergeant Talbert walked in, opening his mouth then hesitated for a second as his eyes seemed to take in but not fully comprehend the scene before him. "Um, sir, there's a couple of replacements asking about a patrol…"

 "Oh, for fuck's sake!"

 I laughed at Speirs' pained expression. Quickly, I jumped to my feet and brazenly patted his chest, my hand lingering on the feel under my palm. "I'll take care of it before murder happens."

 "That's not till Thursday." He looked at me with a wry grin. His hand subtly reached forward to skim my hip before grabbing the edge of the table. 

 "Remember, you're busy now. Murder has to wait."

 "Fine. Friday it is then."

 "If you have the energy after." I winked at him. I only caught a glimpse of the hunger that flooded his eyes before I turned on my heels and headed out the door. The whole way out I could feel his heated gaze on my back, like his fingers were trailing down my spine. I shivered in anticipation for what it would really feel like. 

 I'll make sure he doesn't have the energy to terrorize Easy… I'm definitely doing this for their sakes… completely self-sacrificing… yep, I won't enjoy this at all. 

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 57

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. Tag lists are closed

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 57: The Dinner Pt. 1

You couldn’t believe your eyes, she was gone as fast as she appeared. But you felt a slight sense of relief watching as the blast went through her heart. But she was gone, and you watched as the blast sizzled into the target. You felt the burning deep within your bones. Their fire burns within you again.

You practiced for a couple of hours. As Phasma just seemed content in letting you shoot your frustrations out on to the target. Once you were finished you headed back to your chambers for lunch.

Kylo returned as he promised. Joining you for lunch. He kissed you upon entering the dining room where you sat waiting for him. Lunch went on mostly silently with neither of you speaking. He kissed you before he left.

Your lessons with the general went by in a blur, you watched more diplomatic videos and it all blended together. You changed as usual in your dressing room for dinner. Dinner came and went. You changed for bed and made out with Kylo for a bit. You fell asleep like normal and your dreams were a blend from the night before, except every time you were on the desert planet there was a blaster in your hand. You attempted to shoot the woman but before the blast hit her the dream shifted again, the earth beneath you collapsed into quicksand.

You woke up to the pressure behind your ear; you felt like you were in a fog. Kylo kissed you and told you to go target practice with Phasma. You did your routine of getting ready and changing, eating breakfast. Target practice was the only time you felt a bit human once more. But then you had lunch, your lessons, dinner, getting ready for bed, kisses, falling asleep, nightmares: repeat.

This was your life for the next week, the days all blending together. You haven’t felt at all human. A monotonous machine going through the tasks. No smiles, no joy, nothing. The only time you had felt anything was when the blaster fired. Wake up, get dressed, breakfast, blaster practice, lunch, lessons, dinner, kisses, bed, and nightmares.

You woke up to a pressure behind your ear, and then kisses down your neck, “Good morning Kitten, today is a big day. We have our dinner tonight.” His hands then roamed down your sides, caressing and squeezing your body as they had been doing the last few days.

Your brain woke up at the mention of this. When was the last time you had truly had a thought? Had a week gone by without a single coherent thought? You felt a pit in your stomach.

“I’ll be back after lunch, we will get ready during your usual lesson time.” His finger grazed your cheek before he hooked it under your chin, giving you one last kiss before he left.

You sat up. Today was the day you were supposed to be presented officially as the First Lady of the First Order. And time had just slipped you by. You had been frozen, and now you didn’t know how to feel. Something in your gut told you tonight was not going to be a party like Kylo seemed to insist that it was.

Something in the back of your brain reminded you of what Hux had said. That there would be people at the dinner that would not like your status, would not like that you had come from Earth.

You then remembered why you were dreading the dinner, Pryde. He was supposed to be there. He was supposed to be there as a good gesture to the people who would look down upon you. The man who made your skin crawl. Before you could feel like you were going to throw up Adlez and Olivia-Rose were at your side hauling you up and into the bathroom.

“Now m’lady, you are supposed to get ready with the Supreme Leader after lunch but we need to get you prepped before that,” said Adlez. You were being stripped and put in the tub that was filled with fragrant oils. They worked on your hair and skin. Washing away the numbness that you had felt all week. Mending you whole again.

You started to feel human as Olivia-Rose brushed conditioner through your wet hair. Adlez buffed away at your skin before inspecting your nails, “We shall have to do something special for tonight.”

You were washed, shaved, and thoroughly moisturized by the time you had got out. This was the first time you ate breakfast in just your robe with wet hair. You stared out the window in the dining room at the simulated horizon. You turned to Adlez, who was chatting quietly with the others. “Can you change the windows to the stars outside?”

She smiled and got up to do so. You watched as the simulated background beyond your ‘outdoor’ plants changed to allow the galaxy and stars to shine their darkness through. You continued to look out the window as you finished eating.

You followed Olivia-Rose and Adlez into the dressing room. Where they moisturized your skin once more. Olivia-Rose gave you a facial and sculpted your brows as Adlez gave you a manicure and pedicure. They were sculpting you into an Empress, mending you whole again. Or at least mending the you that the outside world got to see. Your mind, heart, and soul still felt empty.

You had no idea how much time had passed before you heard a knock on the door. Adlez went to answer it.

“We need to get ready,” you heard Kylo’s voice through the doorway.

“Of course, we will have her ready for you. Do you need any assistance m’lord?”

“No, I shall be fine, just make sure she is ready.” And then you heard the door shut.

“You heard the Dark Lord, we need to get you ready,” laughed Adlez. It was the first time in the last few days that you remember hearing her laugh.

They placed you in front of the vanity. Adlez doing something intricate with your hair. The same hairstyle she had practiced days before. Olivia-Rose doing your makeup. By the end of their handiwork you looked like you had just stepped off the silver screen with Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, and Marilyn Monroe. You looked otherworldly.

They then walked you over to the open armoire and helped you dress. Adlez insisted on some shapewear, “You look stunning m’lady, but you don’t want to give anyone any chances of finding out what you are hiding. That is for the Supreme Leader only to know. And besides, the dress is really flowy and this will help you feel more secure.” You took her advice, they really did help the dress fit you that much more.

You still looked like yourself, but a bit better. When you looked at yourself in the full-length mirror. You saw a woman who was fit to be the First Lady of the First Order. A woman who was sure of herself and her position. If only the inside reflected what the outside portrayed.

You thanked both of them and stepped out into the hallway. You could hear movement in the living room, so that’s where you headed. Kylo was for the first time pouring himself a drink from the bar. When he saw you he paused before setting the bottle down. “You look stunning, Kitten.” He stepped out from behind the bar abandoning the drink.  

While you looked like a beautiful garden in your floral dress , he looked like a god incarnate. You were so sure before that nothing could make his chest look wider but you were wrong, oh how you were wrong.

He no longer donned his usual ribbed uniform. He was dressed in soft black leather with a cape attached to his shoulders. His forearms and the underside of his cape looked like they had captured the stars. His shirt fit him tightly and the v of its neck revealed a high collar of the same stars, with the First Order insignia resting among them. His pants and boots were leather that seemed to kiss his powerful thighs and calves. The top of his head had several braids keeping his long luscious black locks out of his face. Oh, how the gods made him handsome.

Your breath could go no deeper than your throat as you were stunned at the sight of him. He seemed to figure out what was happening as he closed the distance between you and took your face in his hand. “Do you feel the same way about me, Kitten?” Heat flooded you as you attempted to nod in response.

A hand graced your lower back, as he whispered into your ear, “Good, I was hoping you would feel that way. But we must be going, after all, you are the guest of honor.” His lips left your ear, and he shifted his body to start to lead you down the hall. You were glad he did not expect you to answer right away as your brain was failing to make even a word coherent.

He led you down the ever-winding halls, your breath still in your throat as you walked next to him. His lips were against your ear once more, “We shall have to get you a drink right away to calm your nerves.” And he was right, not only were you speechless because of him, you were nervous as all hell.

You had failed to notice initially that you were being flanked by the Knights of Ren, all six of them. Wearing their masks and armor. Guarding you both from any eyes that might be watching as you walked down the halls.

You came upon the door to the formal hall, one used for occasions like this. Your heart was pounding before Kylo’s lips came to your ear once more, “Everything will be fine Kitten. No one can harm you while I am here.”

The door opened, and you saw lots of unfamiliar faces, a few you did recognize but lots that you didn’t. And one face you hoped to never see again, but alas he was here and walking towards you. Thankfully Hux was waiting for you both as he announced, “The Supreme Leader Kylo Ren and the lovely First Lady, Lady Ren.” Everyone broke into light applause at your entrance. You watched from the corner of your eye as Kylo’s head lifted in acknowledgment. You chose to smile at the crowd.

Kylo then guided you to Hux, before Pryde could reach you both. “M’lady you look exquisite tonight,” he said bowing to you.

“Thank you, you certainly look handsome yourself.” He did, he was out of his normal black uniform and in a white jacket with black pants. His skin and hair looked rather beautiful against the white.

You then turned your head to watch Kylo, whose eyes were scanning the room like a hawk. He spoke to the general, “Is everyone here?”

“Yes, Supreme Leader they are.”

“And their status?”

“Everyone seems to be enjoying themselves, but GH-531, Garel, and more importantly Kuat have expressed slight disinterest in Lady Ren.” The mention of your name grabbed your attention.

“All three of them are standing with tradition, I see?” You watched as his gaze tore to Pryde and the three men standing with him. They all matched him in age and stature.

“Yes, it seems like Senator Ormes Apolin will be the hardest to persuade. Remember his stance on significant others joining meetings and formal discussions.”

“I remember Hux, it took everything I had to not cut out his tongue when Snoke invited him for dinner the last time.”

That name, you were worried now. The man who had previously held Kylo’s position was not a kind man in any sense. You were worried if the man that they were speaking of, this Ormes Apolin if he would do something drastic tonight.

You watched as Hux bowed and stepped back, Kylo guided you around the room where you met various important officials and he did see to it that a glass of champagne was given to you and finished twice over before you finally made your way to the group of aging men.

“Ah, Supreme Leader! Lady Ren, it is a delight to see you again.” Pryde’s eyes were open doors to his deepest thoughts. You could tell by the way he was looking between you two that he had not learned his lesson.

Kylo spoke for you, “General Pryde, Senator Apolin, Senator Slenic, and Ambassador Gakon, this is Lady Ren.” You gave your best welcoming smile to each of them.

Senator Slenic spoke first, “It is an honor to be here m’lady. This whole thing must be a shock to you. Especially compared to where you came from.”

You heard the dismissal of your planet but you played it off, “In many ways it is, but I am learning. Allegiant General Hux has been a great help. But I have been informed that my planet has a lot to offer the First Order and I am grateful to show its opportunity.” You smiled sweetly back.

You could see a small smirk on the corner of Kylo’s mouth. He approved of your answer.

“Yes, I am sure your planet will be very useful. But what about you m’lady? Will you be useful to the First Order,” asked Ambassador Gakon. His tone was the least spiteful. He seemed the most hopeful of the three galactic officials.

“I hope to be, but we can never truly be the judge of ourselves now, can we? I can only learn by what others show me and by doing. It is for the rest of the galaxy to decide whether or not I am useful as the First Lady of the First Order.”

“That’s a new title, isn’t it,” asked Senator Apolin. “Even the Empire did not have such a title. You can not live up to it as it has not existed before you. And as far as I am aware, you have no prior experience.”

You could feel Kylo tense up next to you. But you answered before he could do anything. “I believe it is the Allegiant General that told me that the First Order’s ideals are based on the Empire’s success but we have learned from their mistakes.” You shook your head and spoke, “We are to strive to outlive them, to perfect what they got wrong. They failed in showing a united front with the Emperor. He had no family. How is it that families all over the galaxy were supposed to trust him? My position is to assist the Supreme Leader in any way that I can, as is all of our positions. Or would you disagree?” You waited for an answer.

“I see the Allegiant General has been teaching you well, as a bastard son, he is doing well to live up to his father’s legacy. But all of that gives no comfort as to the lack of experience you hold, it may do you best to comfort the Supreme Leader in his bed and leave the galaxy to more experienced hands.”

You watched as Kylo stiffened at the man’s words, his body rigid and tense. His jaw clenched, and nostrils flared. You quickly turned your head and met the eye of General Hux and nodded to him.

“Everyone please take your seats as dinner will be served,” Hux announced.

You did your best to pull Kylo away from the senator. Trying to avoid any possible blood spilling before dinner. You wanted to get through this thing as quickly as possible and return back to the safety of your chambers.

Kylo took his seat at the head of the table. You were seated to his right and thankfully Hux was seated to his left. You watched as one of the few faces you knew before this dinner sat next to you, Admiral Frantis Griss. You were thankful, but much to your dismay Pryde sat next to Hux, and next to him was Senator Apolin, Senator Slenic, and Ambassador Gakon.

Being seated at the table, you noticed for the first time that you were one of the few women. Most of them being wives of various officials and officers. Even though you were in a society that was supposed to be more advanced than your own, you were still outnumbered by men. Many of whom looked down upon women of your position as no more than bed warmers for their more powerful mates.

Kylo was watching you as you made this realization, you couldn’t tell if he was searching your thoughts yet but he gave a toast to the attendees. He stood, “This dinner tonight is held in honor of Lady Ren who sits here next to me. Today marks the first day that we step out of the shadows of the Empire. We have learned from the mistakes of the Empire—they were too lenient. We are better. We are making strides in the wake of their fall. Succeeding where they have failed. The first major step in doing that is by having a role like hers. A role that is compassionate to the people, one that shows our people's kindness. Something the Empire has failed to do. A role that will provide an example to our people, the way we are to live. A perfect role model for our citizens. To Lady Ren.” He raised his glass.

Everyone echoed and did the same. You flushed at the gesture of faith in you. You gave a quiet, “Thank you,” to the table as he sat back down.

You had no idea what to make of his words, his insistence on you being a role model for First Order citizens. That you were supposed to lead in a way you hadn’t expected. You remembered that Kylo and Hux were supposed to sit you down and talk with you about your role. Have you missed that talk? When you were in your haze, did you miss it? Or had it yet to happen?

You met Kylo’s eyes, and you heard him, but his mouth had yet to move,

“We will discuss your role tomorrow morning.”

Your eyes went wide, he was speaking in your mind. That scared you. You looked to Hux, who sat across from you. Who shared a look at your recent discovery, and a small reassuring head nod.

“Do not be afraid Kitten, this is only temporary. Too many ears to hear, eyes to see and tongues to speak. I will do what I must to protect you.”

The dinner had only just begun, and you were already afraid for your life. If he couldn’t freely speak to you, what danger were you in? Your heart was racing as the first course was served. You repeated the mantra in your head that dinner had only just begun.

[notyetneedcoffee]

Moving Parts, 4

Part Four

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Nothing but angst and a bit of fluff

A/N: Just one more part to go!

“So how did we manage send her in... to stumble into...” Tony Stark paused waving his hand in the air. “What? A Nazi heritage summer camp? Without any of our intelligence knowing about it?” He slouched in his chair at the conference table, head resting on his hand.

Steve scowled and turned his back to the group, looking out the window. His jaw clenched so hard his head ached.  

“Looks like they’d been there since the end of the war.” Bucky tapped the tip of his left middle finger on the table with a tink, tink, tink. “Now that we know what to look for, the whole village seems to be a transplant. They’ve made a fortune in international banking. Art deals, too.”

“Gee, wonder where they acquired their collection.” Clint stated blandly. “Were they wrapped up in our target’s business? I mean why else would they grab Y/N?”

“Doesn’t look like it.” Bucky glanced over at Steve, but he wasn’t going to say anything. “She said she was blending into the crowd, watching the mark. That’s when they probably thought she was casing their exchange instead. According to the one guy I interrogated, they’ve been watching Steve and I pretty closely and knew her. She didn’t tip off the target, but she stumbled onto someone with a personal grudge.”

“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes.” FRIDAY’s voice filled the room. “Miss Y/L/N is awake and asking for you.”

Bucky stood and nearly made it to the door before he realized Steve hadn’t moved. He stopped, waiting. The rest of the group looked between the two, knowing something was wrong but remained silent. “Come on, pal.”

Steve took a deep breath and followed. Once in the hall, his feet slowed. “I should just let you go ahead.”

Something snapped. Bucky spun on his heel and grabbed Steve by the shirt, shoving him into the empty room at his left. All of the dejected looks, all of the self-deprecating comments, all the tension since they found you just became too much. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man?”

Jerking away, Steve ripped the collar of his shirt. “What?” He stepped back with a growl. “What do you want from me?”

“I want...” Bucky’s face tightened in pain. “I want... my family. I want all of us.” His voice dropped to a low, tight whisper. “I want her to be happy. I want you to be happy. We’ve been through so fucking much. We may still have a duty to uphold, but we could have so much more now. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, we get to choose.”

Steve’s shoulders dropped. He wanted to turn away, but the intensity in Bucky’s stare forbade it. “I’ve messed up so much. I let her down. Hurt you both.”  

“Yet we still love you, jerk.” Bucky’s eyes softened.

“You sure?”  

Bucky’s eyebrow rose. “Don’t make me punch you in the face.”

Steve huffed. “Okay.” He ran his hands through his hair. “What should I do?”

“Right now? We go to the med wing.” Bucky tugged his arm. “We’re late.”

Your tongue felt fat in your mouth and your head apparently weighed fifty pounds. You mind kept drifting off. FRIDAY let the guys know you were awake so you fought the weight of sleep. Laying on your side made it difficult. The pillow was soft. Being drugged up sucked.

You blinked slowly. Stay awake. You opened your eyes to see Steve and Bucky in front of you. The smile you gave them pulled on the split on your lip. It didn’t matter. “Yeah.” You slurred. “You’re here.”

“Hey, Sweetheart.” Steve leaned over and pressed his soft lips against your hairline. “Did you sleep okay?”

They’d grown more worried as they flew you home. You’d vomited up blood, probably swallowed from your facial injuries. However, you pain steadily increased and your blood pressure dropped. After a tense wait, the doctor told them the worst of your symptoms stemmed from a severely bruised kidney. Combine it with the cracked ribs, and you were out of commission for several weeks.  

Reaching clumsily for their hands, you pouted. “No. I wanna be warm.”  

Bucky chuckled, knowing it meant your wanted to be cuddled between them. His thumb rubbed gently over your hand. “Soon, Doll.”

“Really?” Your eyes drooped closed.

Steve moved a piece of hair from your face. “As soon as the doctor says you can come home. We’ll keep you warm.”

“Both?” Your sleepy whine was barely audible, but you squeezed their hands. “Please.”

“Yeah, Sweetheart.” Steve gently combed his fingers through your hair. “We’ll both be there.” He looked into his best friend’s eyes. “I promise.”

Bucky’s smile turned into a chuckle when you snored lightly in response. “I think she likes the idea.”

“Can you sit with her for a while?” Steve asked. “I think there’s something I need to do.”

“Sure.”

Steve put his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Thanks, pal. I’ll be back soon.”  

He left the med bay and immediately asked where Tony could be found. By the time he walked into the lab, Tony was expecting him. “Hey Cap. How’s our girl?”

“Sleepy.” He leaned against the worktable, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. “I, uh, need to talk to you about a couple things.”

Tony looked up from his stool, taking in Steve’s uncomfortable posture. “Shoot.”

“First, I’d like stick close to home while Y/N is recovering. Unless there’s some world-shattering emergency, of course.” He chewed his lip.

“Well, duh.” Tony spun around on his seat. “I wouldn’t expect anything else.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “Okay. Great.” He swallowed, a little less anxious. “The other thing is, um.” He looked around the lab for a pen and paper, but settled for a tablet and stylus. He began sketching out something quickly. “How long would it take do bring in a crew to do this?”

Tony looked at the quick drawing. The corner of his mouth quirked up. “Really?”  

Cap took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, um, is it going to be a problem? Any of it?”

“The work is the easy part. You’d be surprised how fast I could get this done.” Tony smiled. “You really want me to do this?”

“Yes, I do. I’ll deal with the fall out.”

“Fuck that. What fallout?” Tony scoffed, then laughed. “Let’s get to it.”

Steve laughed, relieved. “Language.”

TAGS

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[murdershegoat]

(based on this art from the incomparable @battenthecrosshatches)

(also on ao3)

Visiting the childrens hospital was a good idea, her people had said, because then the public could see how the Luthor brand did immense good alongside the terrible evils caused by her brother. At the time, she had trusted them.

But now? Now she’s surrounded by very small people whose eyes are too sad and fingers too sticky. Lena isn’t heartless, not by any means. It’s just she’s never really been good with children. She was always the youngest in the family and nobody she knows had babies. Hell, she didn’t talk to Ruby Arias until she was four years old, and even that was too soon. One time she said good morning to a teenager who lived in her building and the teenager had just laughed in her face, and another time some hooligans had egged her front door because she ran out of candy on halloween. Now she makes a considerable effort to avoid the young school groups who visit LCorp and she interacts with the high school interns sparingly and she dreads the day her future partner brings up having kids in any way, shape or form. It’s not that she’s scared of them, per se, it’s just that she’s completely terrified to interact with somebody under the age of eighteen in any way, shape or form.

‘As you can see, Ms. Luthor, your foundation has changed this hospital immeasurably,’ the administrator-slash-tour-guide tells her. ‘We’re able to care for about double the amount of patients than before, not to mention our technology has put us on the map as leaders in pre- and neonatal care, paedeatric cardiology, oncology, neurology and mental health care.’

‘That’s quite the accomplishment,’ Lena says, trying her best not to sound nervous or scared around the children who potter around the rec room. ‘And how’re the research facilities doing?’

‘Better than we ever could have hoped,’ they reply. ‘We’re changing the world here, Ms. Luthor.’

At that, Lena smiles genuinely. ‘That’s what I like to hear.’

She allows the administrator to lead her around the other parts of the hospital, always staying a step behind them, always using them as a shield between her and the children. When they tell her they’re about to reach the nursery, Lena almost cancels the rest of the tour. Babies?? Tiny, crying, helpless babies?????? No, thank you.

But as they near the nursery, Lena doesn’t hear crying babies. She hears a melodic, angelic voice and the soft strumming of a ukelele or something. She shoots the administrator a look, her brow furrowed.

‘You’ll see,’ they smile. As they round the corner, Lena’s eyes fall on the angel in question. A woman around her own age with blonde hair in a shaggy bob sat in the nursery, playing her ukelele to the variety of babies stationed around her in their plastic bassinets, and singing with such care and joy in her voice, Lena felt as though if she stared directly at this wonderful stranger’s face, her own face would melt off like an Indiana Jones nazi.

‘Good morning, Kara!’ says the administrator, and Kara turns and faces them, her smile blinding Lena from across the room.

‘Hi, Ollie!’ she replies happily, gently placing the ukelele on the floor, before standing to greet them. 

‘Kara, this is--’

‘Gosh, you’re Lena Luthor!’ Kara exclaims, and Lena steels herself, ready for the torrent of vitriol she’s used to receiving from strangers. ‘Your work with both biotechnology and quantam physics is unparalleled! I’ve admired your work for years!’

Lena thinks she’s in love. In love with this woman in a tight white t-shirt and skinny jeans, in love with her glasses. Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed.

Stop thinking about the L word, Lena thinks.

‘I’m Kara Danvers,’ the angel continues, holding out a hand, which Lena takes much pleasure in shaking. 

‘Kara is our expert cuddler,’ Ollie explains. ‘She volunteers and gives skin to skin contact to some of our abandoned newborns, as well as some extra TLC to some of our other babies.’

‘The singing is a new thing,’ Kara says. ‘It seemed to calm a whole bunch of them down at once and made things easier on the nurses.’

‘Well you know what they say about efficiency!’ Lena says.

‘No, what do they say?’

Lena goes completely blank.

‘I... uh.... they say something, I’m sure.’

She’s flatlining in front of this gorgeous woman (a person who volunteers! to hug babies!) who expects her brain to be brilliant. And instead all it can do is yell Kiss her, bitch!!!!!!!!!!! 

‘We should get a move on, Ms. Luthor,’ Ollie says, and Lena should use it as an out, to save herself from more embarrassment. But instead, like the absolute fool she is, Lena finds herself saying,

‘Actually, I was hoping Ms. Danvers could show me exactly what it is she does as a volunteer?’ Ollie looks surprised; this is the first time Lena’s actually seemed interested in the children.

‘Well, it’s quite simple,’ Kara says, leading her towards the babies. ‘You just... cuddle them. Some of their parents can’t be around as much as they’d like, and some don’t have any parents, and there’s loads of studies about the impact touch has on infants and young children.’ Kara reaches into one of the bassinets and fishes out one of the tiniest babies Lena has ever seen. The baby fusses for a second at the disturbance, before settling into Kara’s warm (totally ripped, Lena notices) arms.

‘This is Daisy,’ Kara says, her voice softer. ‘Her biological mom left her on the doorsteps of the fire station over on Fifth and Ninth, and she almost didn’t make it. She just got her cannula taken out yesterday, so the fact she’s breathing by herself is a big deal.’

Lena watches Kara as she holds Daisy, at the love written all over Kara’s perfect face. She thinks maybe she feels jealous. She wishes she could be this sort of kind, the type that lets you love and care for the small and the helpless. The type that radiates from deep within you and brightens everything you come in contact with.

And then Lena remembers why she had refrained from visiting the hospital for so long. A siren sounds from deep in the building, and she watches in confusion as every pager in the vicinity goes off at the same time. Suddenly, her bodyguard appears out of nowhere.

‘We need to go, Ms. Luthor,’ he mutters in her ear. ‘There’s been an attack on the building; they’re targeting you.’

Lena’s heart sinks. She wonders who could be this evil, who could hate her enough to endanger the lives of thousands of children just to bring her down?

She makes a mental note to Lillian off the Christmas card list.

‘We can’t just leave,’ Lena says, feeling some residual goodness from Kara. ‘We can’t leave these babies here!’ She turns to Kara. ‘What can I do?’

Kara, who is now donning a yellow vest with three large pockets on the front and back, hands a matching one to Lena. 

‘What do I do with this?’ Lena asks, panic starting to seep in.

‘You fill it with babies,’ Kara instructs, already lifting babies from their cribs and putting them in her own vest. Ollie puts them in Kara’s back pockets. Lena thinks she’s getting punk’d.

‘Hurry!’ one of the nurses says as a large ‘boom’ shakes the building.

Lena puts on the damn vest.

She feels weighed down by the wiggly, squirmy, crying babies, but all she can really focus on is Kara’s hand in her own (Kara’s other hand holds Daisy against her chest like a pro) as she leads Lena down the fire escape. They’ve descended several flights of stairs and Lena is feeling thoroughly Puffed Out but she can see the light of outside just ahead of her. 

‘Luthor!’ she hears a booming voice say. She turns, finding a very nondescript bad guy standing with a wicked smile on his face, and some fancy weapon in his arms. ‘I have regards for you, from--’

‘From my mother, I know.’

His smile grows even more sinister than before.

‘She asked me to give you a little gift--’ he stops short, his smile slipping. ‘Are you wearing babies?’

She stands up a little straighter. ‘And what about it?’

‘I can’t- I can’t, like, shoot babies,’ he says, clearly uncomfortable.

‘Well then I suggest you leave here before somebody makes you leave,’ Kara growls, depositing Daisy into Lena’s arms, and stepping in between them and the mercenary. Lena ignores how turned on Kara’s voice makes her, more concerned at the baby she now holds in her arms. 

Before the mercenary can say anything else, he’s being punched in the side of the head by Lena’s bodyguard, who is also wearing a baby vest.

‘Right,’ Kara says matter-of-factly as she takes little Daisy back from a grateful, aroused Lena. She does a sort of weird, light bounce and jiggle, clearly trying to keep the babies in her vest calm. ‘Let’s get out of here.’

///

Hours later, after being questioned by the police, getting the babies back upstairs, and making sure everything was running properly again, Lena’s ready to go home and wash the smell of hospital off her. But she has one last thing to do.

She finds Kara where they first met, with Daisy in her arms.

‘You’re quite remarkable, you know?’ Lena says, and Kara’s head whips up as she hears her voice, a huge grin on her face.

‘Back atcha,’ Kara says, her gaze returning to Daisy.

‘What’s going to happen to her?’ Lena asks, approaching them both. She stands just behind Kara, peering down over her arms at the now-sleeping baby.

‘She’ll find a family who loves her very much and hopefully grow up to be a smart, independent, funny little girl.’

‘And what’s going to happen to you?’ Lena asks, looking up at Kara.

‘I’ll find another baby that needs a cuddle,’ she says. And she hesitates before adding, ‘And hopefully I’ll get to see you again. Maybe something a little less chaotic for our second date.’

Lena laughs loudly, and Daisy stirs momentarily, and Kara rocks her. 

For just a moment, Lena can see this for herself: Kara looking at her with sunshine smile, with her love and kindness. Kara holding very small things that inherit Lena’s brains and Kara’s bright blue eyes. For just a moment, her future seems incredibly, overwhelmingly clear.

She slips her card into Kara’s back pocket, and she kisses her on the cheek. Her hand hovers just above Daisy’s crown, her tiny tufts of hair brushing Lena’s palm.

‘I better be hearing from you,’ she tells Kara with a raised eyebrow. 

‘Promise,’ Kara says, breathless. 

As Lena leaves, she can feel Kara’s eyes on her.

Damn right.

-----------------

i started a ko-fi account a few months ago when somebody wanted to commission a story, and i feel really weird about posting it here but i guess if you want to help me with my coffee addiction you can lob me a couple bucks on ko-fi?

[smol-and-grumpy]

With All My Heart - P.02

This is the epilogue to Dear Dean.

Grant that I shall never seek so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, or to be loved as to love, with all my heart.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x OFC (Jamie Blum)

Warnings: Flangst

WC: 3430

A/N: A second epilogue is here! As always, thank you @themoonandotherslikeit​​ <3

You don’t think life could be any more miserable? Dig a hole in your backyard while it is raining. Sit in the hole while the water climbs up around your ankles. Pour cold mud down your shirt collar. Sit there for 48 hours. And so there is no danger of your dozing off, imagine that a guy is sneaking around waiting for a chance to club you on the head or set your house on fire. Get out of the hole, fill a suitcase full of rocks, pick it up, put a shotgun in your other hand, and walk on the muddiest road you can find. Fall flat on your face every few minutes, as you imagine big meteors streaking down to sock you. If you repeat this performance every three days, for several months, you may begin to understand why an infantryman gets out of breath, but you still won’t understand how he feels when things get tough. 

— Bill Mauldin, NM, cartoonist & writer for war newspaper Stars and Stripes

May 18th, 1946

Jamie’s fingers intertwined with his. She squeezed once, twice — a form of reassurance, Dean knew. His gaze was fixed in front of him, trying to pinpoint a dot in the distance, but the waves kept crashing in. His chest heaved as he took a deep breath too quickly.

It was a nice spring day. It was too warm for the season, and Jamie needed to get out of the house after last weekend when they celebrated Hope’s birthday. They had people coming around all the time and it made Dean uneasy. It was all new to him. He was still surprised that people cared about their daughter — their family — at all. He wasn’t used to it because he didn’t think that anyone ever cared about him at all except for Sammy. 

Jamie had suggested that they’d go to the beach. A month earlier, she came home with some fancy swimming trunks in hand, the kind that are skin tight with a belt around the hip and what not. They were apparently popular but what did he know? She assured him that they wouldn’t be going swimming anytime soon because she wouldn’t fit in her two-piece suit even if she tried, but she wanted him to have one when the time came. Dean was okay with that.

Yet, there they were, standing on a freaking beach, and Dean’s heart was thumping out of his chest. Jamie wanted to get away, to see the beach again even though she knew that Dean probably wanted to get as far away from any beaches, if he had a say in it. He also knew that he had to face it eventually, since Jamie loved the beach. 

“Ready when you are,” a soft voice whispered next to him, and he knew that she smiled up at him. He was just too lost in thought to even move his head to meet her eyes. His hands were sweating, too.

“Yeah,” Dean replied eventually. He tilted his head, looking down at her. 

Jamie wore a maternity dress, and he had his pants rolled up to his knees. They could hear Jameson playing peek-a-boo with Hope who sat on her uncles’ stomach some feet behind them. 

“Da-Da.” Dean could hear Hope say.

“Yes Hope, that’s Da-Da. We give them some time alone, huh? Where’s Hope? Where is my little Hope?” Jameson’s soothing voice faint in his ears. 

“Da-Da,” Hope said again.

Dean smiled. 

Hope was so attached to him. Maybe because she could feel that Jamie was pregnant and wanted more of his attention, which of course, Dean gave her. How could he ever say no to his little girl?

Dean turned the voices off because he really wanted to do this. Really wanted to be able to stand on a fucking beach and not freak the fuck out every damn time. Maybe not shit his pants, in the near future. Summer’s nearing and while he had an excuse last summer, with his legs still not healed enough, he knew that this summer, he had no excuses at all, except that he couldn’t fucking swim. 

Their toes dug in the sand. The fresh salty air breezed through their hair, and Dean thought that it was really fucking nice to be out in this weather, if his heart could stop beating out of his chest, that’d be fucking grand.

Dean closed his eyes, and Jamie tugged his hand back a little. He knew that she didn’t want to pressure him, probably even would tell him that they could blow it off, but he didn’t want to. He’d come this far. 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes again.

*

The letter that was handed to Dean by Captain Mills read: “Soldiers, Sailors and Airmen of the Allied Expeditionary Force! You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. The eyes of the world are upon you. The hopes and prayers of liberty-loving people everywhere march with you.”

They were on deck of the ship crossing the channel. Dean read it carefully. Maybe, because he was itching to have something else to do other than to wait for a damn order to get off the cramped ship into a more cramped landing craft. Maybe, because it was a sign from home, something for him and his men to cling on. Maybe, he wanted to believe that he was doing something meaningful — if going into war and killing people can count as such. 

“In company with our brave Allies and brothers-in-arms on other Fronts, you will bring about the destruction of the German war machine, the elimination of Nazi tyranny over the oppressed peoples of Europe, and security for ourselves in a free world. Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained, well equipped and battle-hardened. He will fight savagely.”

Dean snorted. Yeah, right. He knew that he is all that too or at least he could be, and his men are not far off. He was about willing to do anything that would get him back on American soil. The war has only started for him but already he was so sick of it.

“But this is the year 1944! Much has happened since the Nazi triumphs of 1940-41. The United Nations have inflicted upon the Germans great defeats, in open battle, man-to-man. Our air offensive has seriously reduced their strength in the air and their capacity to wage war on the ground. Our Home Fronts have given us an overwhelming superiority in weapons and munitions of war, and placed at our disposal great reserves of trained fighting men. The tide has turned! The free men of the world are marching together to Victory! I have full confidence in your courage, devotion to duty and skill in battle. We will accept nothing less than full Victory! Good Luck! And let us all beseech the blessing of Almighty God upon this great and noble undertaking. Dwight D. Eisenhower.”

Dean’s not a believer. Never been. If there has been a God, God sure as hell wouldn’t have taken their mother away from them. Sure as hell wouldn’t have let them grow up like they did. Eisenhower’s last words in the letter meant nothing to Dean. Still, he knew that some of his men were believers and when they sat down to pray together, Dean would find himself amongst them. He would do anything to make his men feel comfortable, to keep their morale up even if it meant for him to pray to a God that doesn’t exist in his eyes.

He sat back and fished out his cigarette tin from the pocket and lit one before he looked up at the sky. There were no stars and he wondered how Sammy’s holding up. He hoped that his brother was somewhere safe. 

He smoked one after another, before someone barked that they are going in. Dean popped in the last chewing gum he had with him before he climbed down the rope ladder into the LCV.

They were cramped in the LCV, soldiers almost sitting on top of each other, there were only enough space for two platoons and he was thankful that it was Cas’. They were sitting side by side, their backs resting against the cold metal of the LCV as it drove over waves. Dean chewed on the last gum he’d packed before he left for the channel crossing. Right about now he wished that he had packed more. Soldiers were getting sea sick, some were throwing up which then in turn triggered some kind of a puking chain. He chewed more aggressively, trying to suck in the minty fresh feeling of the gum and push the stretch of puke out of his taste buds. 

“You think the boys from Phase Two did a good job?” Cas asked him.

“I hope so,” Dean answered. 

Truth was, he didn’t know. The planes were to bombard the coastal strongholds, dropping bombs on the beach, creating craters for them to hide in. Yeah, Dean sure as hell hoped that they did their job.

“We’re here!” The pilot of the LCV shouted and Cas’ got up to talk to his men in the front. 

Dean looked around. “We’re too far from the beach!”

“Can’t go in any further!” The man shouted and when Dean looked again, he knew why.

It was madness. LCV were sinking further in the front, probably grazing some obstacles in the water. Soldiers were floating face down around them. The smell of gunpowder and explosives were penetrating. People were screaming, shells hissing around them. Soldiers that were still alive were calling out from the water and Dean shouted that they should help them, but his request was denied. “We are not allowed,” the pilot of the craft just said as he pushed the button for the deck to lower. Dean wanted to start an argument right then and there, but Cas put a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head. Dean shrugged it off, fucking angry at everybody and everything as he bit on his tongue.

“Good luck boys!” The pilot said, lowering the landing deck. Dean looked at Cas, nodding at his friend who visibly paled, and Dean didn’t think he looked any different. 

As soon as the door were dropped low enough for the soldiers to get off, the machine guns began to tear them apart.

“Cas! Climb over the side, they’re shooting at us!” Dean called on the top of his lungs. “Everyone, get off the side!”

-

“Where the fuck are we?” Cas pressed into him as they found a hiding place behind an iron obstacle. 

Dean doesn’t know but there’s one thing he knew for sure. The bombers did nothing on this fucking beach. There was no crater, no fucking sign of a dropped shell. Nothing. 

Before Dean could answer, Mills was next to him too and upon realizing that Dean doesn’t even have a rifle because he abandoned his at the bottom of the sea, Mills ordered Dean to go get a new one. He climbed over dead bodies, the water underneath his hands was red and thick.

He somehow assembled half of his platoon, or what he assumed was half because he lost track of the number a long time ago. “Get the fuck off the beach! Move inland! Get off the beach! We’re getting murdered here!”

With their uniforms still wet, they fought their way inland and only after they defeated the Krauts in their coastal pill boxes, did they allow themselves to stop and breathe. It felt like Dean had been holding his breath for the whole time since they got off the LCV.

*

Dean took another deep breath and exhaled. Tears were in his eyes. He sniffed, before he opened his eyes again. His cheeks were wet and he brushed it away with the back of his hand that was not holding Jamie’s.

He didn’t have to look at her to know that she wasn’t looking up. He knew that she always found it hard to look at him whenever he cried. She told him once that she felt like her heart broke every time, and Dean couldn’t say that he didn’t feel the same way when he saw her tears. Instead she squeezed his hand. It was to let him know that she was there. Dean knew that, too.

There’s another inhale before he started to say something.

“Okay.” And then again with a sigh. “Okay.”

He took a step forward and dragged Jamie with him. 

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps.

Stop.

He inhaled and exhaled. “I’m okay,” he said, to nobody in particular. Mostly to himself.

Jamie replied with a squeeze of his hand. 

Dean took another step. 

Another one and another. 

Until the waves crawled up the sand just below their toes. 

It was wet and sticky around their feet.

They stood there in silence, until the water reached around their toes, making them sink in lower into the sand. 

Dean chuckled, and when Jamie looked up at him, he was full on smiling down at her. “Thank you, Bambi.” 

June 1st, 1946

Hi Sammy,

Jamie’s having her last week at the nursing school, and I just put Hope to bed. There’s not much I can do, since Jameson went out for a date, so I thought I’d sit down to write to you. 

Jamie’s almost finished with her school. She has to drop out earlier because of her gigantic tummy (don’t tell her I said that, alright?) but they granted her a BSN degree anyway, because she apparently excelled in her studies. 

I accompanied her to her graduation last weekend and I can’t say that I wasn’t proud of my girl. Jamie would maybe tell you that I shed a tear, but there was just really something in my eye, I swear!

She introduced me to some of her classmates. The majority of them had loved ones in the war. I mean, that was no surprise, since we were so fucking many over there! One of the girls was there with her boyfriend. He asked me where I was stationed overseas, and I told him I was with the 116th Regiment, 29th Infantry Division and was fighting in Normandy.

“My brother was with the 29th too,” the guy said.

I didn’t say anything, didn’t want to know if I would have known him because I knew what would follow. 

“He didn’t make it back.” The man looked me up and down, as if he’s checking to see if I had scratches, scars or a missing limb from the war. “You were in the same Division. Yet, you are here and he’s not…. Huh.” 

I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, Sammy. I swallowed hard and suddenly, it felt too hard to breathe. There’s someone standing across from me who questioned my existence. As if I’m not doing enough of it on my own already. I could hear it in his voice, even if he didn’t say it. Something that sounded like “Why do you think you deserve to be here while my brother gave his life for this country.” Of course he didn’t say it like that, and I seriously couldn’t say anything else than “I’m sorry. I’m sure your brother fought bravely.” Jamie came along and dragged me away before it could get any more awkward.

Anyway, I try not to think about it too much. I’ve signed up for a business program, by the way. My boss at the garage was thinking that maybe I could take over one day. He’s a real great guy, Sam. He’d lost his son, who was fighting on Peleliu. Said I remind him of his son. I’m so thankful for the offer and yes, soon I’ll be studying Business on the GI Bill. I’m grateful for it, because I don’t know if we could cover the cost with our growing family.

Sam, Jamie took me to the beach. Can you imagine? I was terrified, not gonna lie, but it was good. I had to get over the fear eventually. It took me longer than I thought it would, though. All the while Jamie just waited, my hand in hers. I closed my eyes for a minute, thinking about what happened the last time I was at a beach, almost two years ago. I drowned out the voices and noises in my head, and when I opened my eyes again, all I saw was the beauty of the beach. The sand between my toes, the salt tinted breeze, the calmness of the waves. It was great. I think I finally made my peace with it. Took me fucking long enough.

Jamie bought me swimming trunks, by the way. Honestly, I wouldn’t even like to be caught dead in them, but I guess that’s what people wear nowadays, huh? Her dream would be that we could all go swimming one day, but you know that I can’t swim, right? Anyway, I really wanna be able to do that for her but she’s too big to teach me, so Jameson is giving me swimming lessons down by the lake. We always say that we’re going to the bar downtown, and I don’t think she really believes us but she never presses any further.

*

“Hi”, Jamie leaned against the door to the study in her flowery maternity dress, and her hair up into a bun. She smiled when Dean turned his attention to her.

“Hi.” He returned her smile.

“Sam?” 

“Yeah.” Dean nods. “I’ll be right with you.” 

She frowned. “No you won’t.” Jamie walked into the room and stood beside him so Dean could place his arm around her waist, his cheek rested against her belly as she cradled his cheek, one hand stroking the short hair at the back of his neck. “You take your time. I’m going to check on Hope and take a shower.”

He kissed her belly. “Okay, I’ll see you in bed.” 

She smiled before she walked out.

*

Jamie just came home, Sammy. I think I’ll draw a line here, too. My fingers are starting to hurt. I am thankful for the notebook. I really am. I think it’s easier for me to put my thoughts into words — to have an outlet for all the things that I have in my head. Even if I have people around me who had been through the same, they still didn’t go through what I went through. Jamie wasn’t a prisoner, and I am fucking thankful that she went home before shit got serious. I don’t even want to imagine what they would have done to her if they would have found her with me. I don’t even want to think of all the horrors, because it would only make me angry. 

You know, they have psychiatrists working for the Army. I tried it once, but they only said “Try to act normal then you will begin to think normal, too.” That’s like an hour of my life that I will never get back. Try acting normal. The fuck does that mean anyway?

Ah, I shouldn’t work myself up now. I need to calm down and honestly, I can’t wait to slip into the bed next to Jamie, maybe listen to what she has to say about her day, I like that. Like to listen to her everyday life, it makes me think that sometimes the world isn’t so cruel to me after all. Honestly I still don’t know how I deserve all this. Deserve to come home, have kids, be with my girl… I wish you could be here, Sam.

I miss you very much.

Good night.

Dean

*

Dean closes his notebook and walked into the bathroom as Jamie brushed her teeth. He took a toothbrush and squeezed some toothpaste on it before he brushed his own teeth, eyes Jamie through the little mirror screwed to the wall. He thought that she looked exhausted, more so tonight than on any other night. He’s worried about her. She needed to rest. Maybe he’d whisk her away the coming weekend and go somewhere just the two of them. 

“Stop staring,” Jamie said, spitting out toothpaste. She rinsed her brush, a playful frown on her face.

“I’m not.” He laughed when Jamie sent him a gaze with her lips curved into a grin before she walked out.

June 2nd, 1946

SAMMY THEY ARE COMING!

..To Be Continued.

@dean-winchesters-bacon​​ @beautifulbowleggedangel​​ @flamencodiva​​ @weepingwillowphoenix​​ @adoptdontshoppets​​ @fangirl-and-medstudent-help​​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​​ @katehuntington​ @mariekoukie6661​

[hallowedmuses]

Discord Chat: The Scarlet Inquisition

SUMMARY: Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanoff are tasked with bring Hydra mole Scarlet Young in for questioning when they are met with an ambush. Things get a little hairy as the pair attempt to maneuver themselves and the mole out of harms way. TRIGGERS: HYDRA, Blood, Gore, Violence WRITTEN WITH: @captsteve​, @littleredscarlethood

NATASHA: She stepped out of the jeep and surveyed the area, nodding to Steve that it was all clear. "Just like old times, huh?" she replied as she made her way over to the apartment complex, punching in a door code Daisy had given them to unlock it. "I imagine we won't need to much fire power for this one," she replied as she held the door open for him. "So, who do you want to be tonight? Good cop or disappointed dad?" she teased.

Steve got out of the jeep, grabbing his shield, glad that he brought it with him so he wasn't walking into a possible HYDRA ambush unarmed. "Oh yeah, I totally missed having to deal with Nazi spies. If only Sam was here, then we could find someone to kick off a building." he let out a chuckle as he shut the door, his blue eyes scanning the street before walking into the building. "Clint seemed to find this quickly so hopefully we're getting to the kid first." Steve looked around the lobby before moving towards the stairs "Hmmm, why not both? I can be a disappointed cop."

In her apartment, her home, really, SCARLET was celebrating. this was a good day. no more lies, no more nothing. just her and daisy and a nice life forever. she'd tell daisy, of course. and while part of her wanted to just get it out of the way... she wanted one happy day. then she'd tell. she'd promised that to herself. she'd turned on happy cheery music and she'd decided she was going to follow a recipe to make waffles from scratch. they had an iron in ONE of their drawers. it had taken her a bit to locate it, and even longer to figure out the measuring cups. but she was getting there, and now she was whisking all the ingredients together, getting ready to pour it into the bowl. all this to say, she was blissfully unaware of the people coming upstairs with a big cloud to rain on her parade.

NATASHA: She smirked, giving him a sideways look. "I mean, we can still kick someone off a building if you're feeling nostalgic. I won't tell if you don't tell," she teased as she entered the building behind him. The lobby was empty which was good. Less collateral damage this this were to turn into a fight. "Disappointed cop, huh?" she grinned as she followed him up the stairs. "If it's anything like those detention videos, then I gotta say I'm in for a treat," she teased, unlatching her gun from its holster as they reached Daisy's apartment. She heard music coming from the kitchen and nodded to Steve. "She's here."

Steve rolled his eyes "That's more your style than mine." he chuckled. From what he could see there wasn't anyone in the stair well, if they moved quickly they could be in and out before anyone else found them. He let out a small groan "Don't even mention those videos, I only filmed one of those and I have no clue where the rest came from. I talked to Tony about it before the accords and he wouldn't look into it because they were so funny." The blonde put his ear to the door listening to the noise from inside, apart from the music he could make out one heartbeat "I only hear one person inside... how do you want to do this?"

NATASHA: "Hmm, it could be your style if you just expand your horizons a little. Come on, don't tell me this whole thing isn't making you miss being a full time agent," she nudged. A small smile crossed her lips as he mentioned he'd only filmed one video and he didn't understand where the others came from. "Sounds like a certain someone was having a little mischievous fun with your form. Either that or you've got a life model decoy laying around somewhere and Tony doesn't want you to find it." She nodded when he said he only heard one heartbeat. "Good. Let's hope its our girl. Daisy wanted this lowkey, so there's no need to come in guns blazing. Besides, it's not fun having to replace a door. We'll keep it friendly unless we start taking fire." She didn't need her name attached to any child's death unless she was absolutely certain which side the kid was on. She pulled out the key Daisy had given them and quietly unlocked the door. "Cover my six, yeah?" she requested, tucking her gun into the back of her jeans for easy reach if she needed it. She was glad Steve had brought the shield with him. It provided good cover if they started taking unexpected gunfire. Natasha pushed open the door to the apartment and stepped over the threshold. "Scarlet Young?" she called out as she made her way into the apartment. She spotted the girl in the kitchen. "Hello, Scarlet, it's good to see you again," she smiled politely, holding up her SHIELD badge. "We've got a few questions we need to ask you. I'm going to need you to come with us."

Steve: "Oh, I can see the headlines now. Captain America kicks suspect off 30-story-building let's just give the legal team an ulcer huh?" he chuckled, arms crossing over his chest. The videos were a nightmare for Steve, he signed on for a fitness test video and now there were all sorts of videos for nearly every scenario... he figured it was either some new-fangled technology or a look-a-like. "I wouldn't put it past SHIELD, they did have a whole secret medical facility designed to bring us back to life in the event of one of our deaths... who's to say they don't have LMDs of us." the blonde chuckled "Don't I always?" he moved into the apartment after giving one last look down the hallway. He shut the door and moved towards the windows, peeking down at the traffic on the street clocking a couple of SUVs pulling up. Steve pulled his shield off his back, sliding his arm into the straps as he moved back to the kitchen "We need to move." he gave the girl a smile before whispering to Nat about the two SUVs.

SCARLET: "Miss Daisy!" she called, happily, as the door opened. her back was turned away from the door, so she assumed that was who it was. when she heard two sets of feet, and natasha's voice... she froze. "natasha?" the first thought that came through her head was that Daisy was gone again. that was the reason she'd been let go today. because Daisy was dead and they'd gotten her and she'd helped and... no. no. NO. "is my mom okay?" she asked, turning to look at Natasha. that was the only thing she cared about, until she saw the gun out and the badge and she asked about questions and... what was going on? "where's Daisy?" she put down the whisk and the bowl. what was happening? and where was Daisy? she offered Steve a scared smile, remembering how he'd sat with her the last time Daisy had gone missing. she could tell she was going to need some reassurance for... whatever was making them all buisnesslike right now. "why are you looking at me like that?" they couldn't know, could they?

NATASHA: "Ah, what doesn't give them an ulcer? I walk into a board room and they panic," she chuckled. "Like I got time to kill everything that inconveniences me. We can only hope SHIELD's learned from past mistakes. I trust Daisy at the helm. I wouldn't have come back if I didn't. Let's hope we can keep her there. I don't think I'd stick around if there was another directorial shift." She knew if any information leaked, it wouldn't look good for Daisy, so she approached Scarlet with caution. "Daisy is fine," she reassured the girl. "She's back at headquarters. She's requested we take you in, you're not safe here." She listened as Steve leaned in, whispering about two SUVs that had pulled up outside. Natasha nodded, glancing toward the window where she could see several men in military grade gear filing out of the SUVs. "So much for doing this quietly," she sighed, grabbing her gun from the back of her jeans. She did a cursory survey of the roof tops. There. She spotted black among the gray: a sniper. Natasha was quick to react, dropping low to the ground and swinging her feet to kick Scarlet down just as a bullet shot through the window. It lodged itself into a cabinet right where Scarlet's head had been only moments before. Natasha grabbed Scarlet firmly, pulling the girl to her feet, and pushing her toward Steve. "Get the kid to the car, I'll cover fire and meet you down there."

Steve: "Well the last time you got in front of a bunch of big wigs you basically told them to shove it up their asses and then walked out so I'm not surprised." deep down, the blonde felt bad for the people that had to clean up him and the other Avengers, but in their line of work there was bound to be collateral damage. Steve nodded her her statement, keeping an ear out for people coming into the building. Seeing Nat drop he followed, crouching by the door. The blonde slipped a comms unit into his ear before tossing one at Nat and grabbing the girl's arm "FRIDAY, I'm gonna need an alternate route out of here." He turned his blue eyes to the girl "I need you to stay low and do exactly as I say, ok? No questions."

SCARLET nodded, letting out a breath when she knew Daisy was safe. her releif was short lived, however, when natasha moved her legs out from under her so fast she could hardly blink. she was on the floor, her batter and her whisk splattered across the floor with a loud crash. she didn't have time to mourn it, though. or to really register the bullet that was... right where she'd been. were they shooting at her? no time to process, though, because she was suddenly being pulled to her feet by natasha and shoved at steve. she grabbed his arms for stability. she. was. terrified. luckily enough, the adrenaline in her veins provided some sort of focus enough to ignore the likely bruising where she'd hit the floor and nod. for a moment she was back in HYDRA's base at nine years old. her parents were holding her, leading her. we need to run. you need to hide. steve wasn't telling her to hide, but it was the same deal. stay low, stay with him. good. if he wasn't planning on leaving her alone, he wouldn't die the way her parents had. "ready." she said, a sincere focus in her eyes. they were gonna go and they were going to get out alive this time.

NATASHA: She nodded a thank you to Steve as he tossed her the coms set. “FRIDAY, what are we working with here?” she asked, slipping on the coms and taking cover behind the granite kitchen counter.             “Looks like you two brought the party. You’ve met the sniper on the roof. You’ve also got three coming through the front, two through the back, and two coming up the fire escape,” responded FRIDAY.              “Lovely,” she sighed, taking the safety off of her gun and carefully making her way toward the fire escape, she kept low to the ground, making sure to stay out of sight of the window in case the sniper decided to strike again. She turned to look at Steve and Scarlet who were looking for an alternate way out of the building. “The fire escape is our best bet. I can take down the two coming up the ladder. The sniper will be a continuous problem, so watch your heads when you get out there.”              Natasha heard the boots coming up the fire escape. She waited a breath before firing a round, it hit first man in the shoulder and sent him tumbling down the fire escape. The second man began firing into Daisy’s apartment. Natasha ducked, waiting until the man had to reload his gun before firing her next shot. It hit him in the leg causing him to lose balance and tumble backward as well. The fire escape was now clear, save for the sniper on the roof. Natasha heard heavy boots coming up the stairs of the apartment. The others were closing in.         “Hate to break it to you, boss, but another unit’s just arrived. You may want to move this party along,” FRIDAY warned.              “Looks like I might get to kick someone out the window at least,” she grinned as she looked at Steve. “Go before they send more assholes up this way. I’ll hold the off the ones coming up the stairwell. Watch your head,” she warned, moving away from the fire escape and making her way toward the door to hold back the others.

Steve: The blonde gripped the girl's shoulder and moved them towards the window, keeping to the wall and out of the line of fire. Steve leaned against the wall, tightening the straps of his shield as he listened to to FRIDAY and Nat. He wished that the building had an underground garage, it'd give them more cover then the fire escape and let them change vehicles, but this wasn't a perfect world and they had to work with what they had to work with. "My deepest apologies Nat, next time we'll plan for the bad guys to be on the roof so you can kick them off it." Steve chuckled before turning to the girl "I'm going out the window first, you stay out of sight until I make sure it's clear then you come out after me. Stay against the building as we move, remember, keep low." He didn't wait for an answer before hopping out of the window.                  Just as he was about to give Scarlet the all clear to get on the fire escape FRIDAY popped into his ear "Police are en-route to your location boss, about five minutes out." he let out a sigh "Shit, alright, come on kid we need to move." Steve moved so he was physically blocking the view of the window with his body.

SCARLET: they were talking about kicking people out of windows, there were shots being fired. it was all highly surreal and about a third of scarlet was sure this was a dream. it didn't feel real. but usually her dreams were quieter, more nonsensical. she didn't know what to make of anything other than she needed to stay alive. and she liked Steve and Natasha. they'd help her do that. and then Steve jumped out a window. there was a fire escape there, and she knew it, but it did scare her for half a second. or maybe it was just another jolt of terror at this whole situation. still, she tried to focus. stay down, stay close, don't get shot. she began muttering the words in german to herself, trying to focus on something as she followed steve to... wherever he was going. stay down, stay close, don't get shot

NATASHA: “That better be a promise, Rogers,” she grinned as she reloaded her gun. “Bring the car around for me. I’ll see you in a minute,” she promised as she watched Steve and Scarlet disappear down the fire escape. Natasha turned to look at the door as she heard armored bodies slamming up against it, attempting to open it. “Hey, FRIDAY,” the assassin grinned, “How about some tunes?”        “You got it, Boss,” FRIDAY replied as she took over the blue tooth speakers in the apartment. Dojo Cat’s Boss Bitch began playing just as the first goon breached through the door. “God Bless Tony Stark,” Natasha grinned and ran full steam ahead, jumping off the ground, and wrapping her legs around the first man’s neck in a thigh grip. She activated the spider bites on her gauntlet and brought them down upon the man’s neck, electrocuting him and causing him to go down.        Natasha pushed herself up off the ground as the second goon came at her. He made to grab her, but she ducked and spun out of the way. He whipped around to face her, but it was all too late for him. Natasha buried the heel of her foot in the man’s chest, kicking him hard and causing him to tumble out the open window. “Looks like I do get to kick someone out of the building at least.”         The third goon attempted to come at her from behind, but she dropped to the ground and kicked low, knocking him off his feet. As he went stumbling back, his head slammed against the kitchen counter knocking him out cold.        The last two goons began firing without discrimination into the apartment. Natasha ducked behind the kitchen island as a hail of bullets swept the place. “Ah, Boss...” the AI warned.        “It’s fine, FRIDAY,” Natasha replied as she pulled out two taser disks from her gauntlet. “I just need them to get a little--” Natasha sung around the kitchen island, activated the taser disks, and threw them at each of the goons. The disks hit both square in the chest, electrocuting them and causing them to drop their weapons. She shot both of them in the leg causing them to go down. “Is that it, FRIDAY?”       “Did you want more?” the AI asked incredulously. “I think that was enough for today. Police are on their way, it’s time to clear the station.”        “You got it, what’s the fastest route to Steve and Scarlet?”

Steve: "Don't be late." he gave Nat a grin before turning his attention back to the girl. Once she was out onto the fire escape he used his shield to block her from view, guiding her down towards the street. Steve moved as quickly as possible, keeping her hidden from the sniper. In the distance he could hear the police sirens nearing, causing him to pick up their pace. When they reached the bottom, Steve pushed the girl up against the building behind some cover "Wait here." he ordered before dropping down and hitting the goon from behind with his shield, glint of metal caught his attention from the corner of his eye as the other goon swung at him with a blade. Steve ducked down to avoid the blade before grabbing the mans elbow, twisting it as he threw him towards the brick wall of the building. "Ok kid, let's move." Once she was following him again he guided them towards Clint's car, which had somehow avoided any damage. "Natasha, what's your status?" he opened the door to the back seat and was starting to helping the girl inside when he heard someone behind him. Steve turned to see one of the goons from the alley coming towards him, so with practiced ease he spun on his heel throwing the shield at their chest. It hit them with a crack of bones breaking, and Steve caught his shield and turned back to the girl "In the car, now!" his jaw ticked slightly as he slammed the door shut and got in the drivers seat.

SCARLET: there were guns and there was shooting and it felt like the base attack all over again. luckily, the plan wasn't 'hide scarlet and try and fight them off' this time. which was good. because she didn't want to see anyone else die because of her. and yet, there was shots and they were aiming at her and why were they doing that? at least Steve's directions were clear, concise, to the point, direct. she had something to focus on. when she got in the car, she was breathing hard. her eyes were wide. and she finally had a bit of time to process the situation. fuck "they were shooting... why were they shooting?" that was all she could ask steve, as they sat in the car, waiting. "why are there so many guns?" she had so many questions, none of which seemed to have any answers. she didn't like that. not a bit.

NATASHA: She grinned when she heard Cap’s voice ask for her ETA. “We’re all clear up here,” she replied as she picked up a iron fire poker and chucked it at one of the goons who was trying to get up and come at her again. “Daisy can bill me for the damages. I’ll be down there in five. FRIDAY, what’s the fastest route?”        “Fastest route is now the back entrance,” the AI informed her. Natasha nodded as she slipped out of the apartment and headed down the back steps. She paused at the back door for a moment, listening to make sure no one was on the other side, before pushing it open. Natasha made herself small and stuck close to the building. As she got to the side of the building she peered around the corner and narrowly missed getting shot in the head by the sniper who’d been tracking her movements. “Fuck,” she breathed as she ducked back behind the apartment building. He was going to be a problem.        Natasha observed her surroundings. Clint’s jeep was only a sprint away, but the side of the apartment complex provided little coverage, only a fee trees here and there to block her from view if she made a run for it. Unlike Steve, she did not have an impenetrable shield to protect her. Police would also be on scene shortly and there were questions she really did not feel like answering today.         The assassin took a deep breath as she eyed one of the trees ahead. As she exhaled, she sprinted forward and simply kept moving. Natasha did what she could to obscure her body from sight as she ran. She could hear the sound of bullets whizzing overhead as the sniper fired his rounds, but it was hard to land a hit on a moving target. Natasha could see Steve push Scarlet into the back of Clint’s jeep as he got into the driver’s seat. She picked up pace, making it to the jeep in record time.        As she pulled on the handle to open the passenger door and slide in, she felt it. One of the sniper’s bullets ricocheted into her shoulder. “Ублюдка!” the assassin swore as she opened the door and slid in. The sniper fired round another round, this one hitting the door of the car as she slammed it shut. Natasha grabbed onto her shoulder to apply pressure to the wound. “Go, go!” she ordered. “Stay low!”

Steve: Steve started the car, revving the engine as he threw the car into drive. "We're ready when you are Nat." he leaned over and unlocked the passenger door for Nat before turning back to Scarlet "Well, they're bad guys with guns, they shoot... a lot." Jeez, this kid is thick. he thought to himself, how she became a hydra spy was beyond him. In the short time he'd interacted with the girl he could see why she flew under the radar as a spy but they clearly didn't have many plans for the kid.           He looked back out the window, spotting Nat making her way to him as she dodged the sniper "Kid, buckle up and hold on." Steve heard the bullets and he ducked down "Shit." he cursed under his breath "FRIDAY, get me a way out of here and to a safe house." The soldier knew that they'd try and follow so they would need to change vehicles once they lost them. "Boss, local units are a block away, you gotta get out of there." His blue eyes looked to the rear view mirror hearing the sirens getting closer. Just as he was about to tell Nat to hurry, he heard the bullet hit her. As soon as she shut the door he stepped on the gas, peeling away from the curb "You alright Nat? How bad is it?"

Scarlet wanted to scream. she wanted to cover her eyes, to cower in a corner. but instead, she fumbled with her seatbelt, heart beating faster, faster, faster... something was wrong. something was WRONG with this whole situation. because the people that Steve was calling the bad guys were people like hydra. and hydra didn't shoot at her. she didn't know if they were bad or good or somewhere in the middle, but she did know they didn't shoot at her. Natasha was shot and somehow that sound was the last straw. she'd been holding it together, barely, and like a jenga pile it all came crashing down. she wasn't there anymore. not really. she was hidden in a pile of body bags, hearing shots fired and that noise of shots connecting with flesh. she didn't scream. she didn't cry. she just shook as tears ran down her face. this was scary, and she didn't have much of any other thoughts on the matter.

NATASHA: “FUCK,” the assassin groaned, pulling down the passenger side visor and examining the bullet wound in the mirror. “It’s safe to say I’ve had better days,” she admitted. “Which is more than I can say for our sniper friend once I identify him through the CCTV cameras." It wasn’t the first time she’d been shot in the line of duty. Her body carried a barrage of battle scars; this was another to add to the list. “It looks like the bullet went clean through,” she winced. “I don’t feel any shrapnel in there.” But she did feel every bump in the road as the jeep speed along. It hurt like a motherfucker, but she would heal in time and faster than most thanks to the enhancements the red room had given her as a child.        Natasha shuffled through the glove compartment where she knew Clint kept a med kit. She finally got the kit open and pulled out an XStat Syringe. These were military grade syringes that carried a dose of tiny sponge-like discs that could be injected into a gunshot wound. The sponges, which were treated with an anti-hemorrhagic substance, expand to 10 times their size in seconds, both plugging the wound and providing needed compression to stanch the bleeding. Natasha popped the cap of the syringe open with her mouth and brought it down over the open wound. “чертовски ад!” she groaned.  She could feel the sponges expanding as they plugged up the wound. She released a breath she’d been holding and gave Steve the once over to make sure that he was alright. “You may wanna call ahead and give them a warning,” she chuckled somewhat breathlessly. “You know how Thing 1 and Thing 2 get.” Clint and James had been pissed off enough when Steve and Nat left the safe house. They were going to be fuming now that she was coming back to them injured. Natasha wiped off beads of sweat from her forehead as she looked at up at the kid through the rear view mirror. Scarlet was as white as a sheet and shellshocked. “You alright, kid?” she asked. 

STEVE: The blonde looked over at Natasha, smirking slightly as he teased her "You kiss your mother with that mouth?" he chuckled as he followed the directions F.R.I.D.A.Y. gave him in his ear, weaving in and out of traffic. As he put more distance between them the tension he felt decreased, but only slightly. Steve knew that this whole thing would only get worse before it gets better and he really didn't want to deal with another HYDRA infestation. He turned off the main road, working his way towards a nearby safe house to switch out cars before heading to HQ. "I want to change cars before heading to HQ to make sure they aren't following, I'll call them during the switch and alert medical to be on standby to check you out."        His blue eyes moved from the road to the rear view mirror to make sure they weren't being followed, only to catch a glimpse of Scarlet passing out. He scoffed as he turned into the garage of the safe house "Shit, let's hope she wakes up before we get to HQ. I want to get all of this figured out as quick as we can." He threw the car in park and cut the engine, unbuckling Nat's seatbelt before his own. Steve got out of the car and opened the back door, collecting his shield before getting the girl out of jeep and putting her in the SUV. He let out a sigh, moving to look at Nat's shoulder "Looks like it's bye bye halter tops." teasing as he pulled out his phone to call Bucky, he'd handle Nat getting hit better than Clint would.

NATASHA: "No, but I did kiss you so I suppose that's close enough," she teased. She tried to keep her face neutral as they weaved in and out of traffic; she didn't want to unnecessarily worry Steve. She'd been shot plenty of times before and with a lot less equipment around to patch up her wounds. She was lucky Clint tended to be accident prone and kept enough of med wings gear in his truck. Natasha nodded as Steve mentioned switching cars. They needed to dump this one in case someone was following them.        “At least we know it’ll be a quite ride,” she mused as she glanced back in the mirror to see Scarlet in the backseat. She supposed it had all simply been too much for the girl. Unfortunately for Scarlet, she still had to go through interrogation and injured or not, Natasha was very thorough. She nodded a thank you to Steve as he unbuckled her seatbelt and helped her out of the jeep. She grimaced as she examined the bullet holes in the truck. “Guess we owe Clint a new jeep,” she replied as she slid into the replacement vehicle. She rolled her eyes as Steve continued to tease her. “Keep talking, Rogers, and I’ll give you a bullet wound to match,” she teased right back as he started the car and made his way toward HQ.        Security was quick and responsive as the pair pulled up in the van. Three guards opened the back of the van and roused Scarlet to her feet, taking her toward the interrogation room. Another two guards opened the passenger door of the van and helped Natasha out. She refused to be taken by gurney on principle. Her arm was shot, but her legs worked just fine. “Don’t start the party without me,” she winked at Steve as she followed the security guards down to the med wing. This was one mission that had definitely not gone according to plan.

[takadasaiko]

Midnight Oil (a Captain America: First Avenger era one shot)

FFN II AO3

Summary: "Stark took a swing at him right there in front of his men. You'd think a guy as smart as Stark wouldn't hit someone twice his size." - Agent Carter 1.05 

Steve and the Howling Commandos are called in to come collect their pilot after Howard lands himself in some trouble over a stolen invention.

Midnight Oil

No shouldn't be a difficult phrase for a person to understand.

It didn't mean yes. It didn't mean maybe. It certainly wasn't an invitation to break into his lab and take it without permission.

Howard had been woken in the earliest hours of the morning by one of his techs pounding at his door and shouting incoherently about a break-in. It had taken a moment longer than it should have for him to understand that it had been his lab that had been broken into - the one that he'd only been away from for about an hour and a half at that point, leaving him more sleep deprived than usual after three straight days of the same - and that things were missing. It hadn't taken long to find out what. Not that he hadn't had a good idea even before he got there.

He hadn't told them why Midnight Oil wouldn't work, only that the design couldn't perform the way they wanted it to. He needed more time if he were going to concoct something that could safely keep soldiers awake and alert for days on end - had they tried coffee? Coffee worked well for him. Coffee and an addictive personality that he focused in on for his work - and apparently General McGinnis had taken that to mean that it worked, but wasn't perfected and had decided to send his goons in to relieve Howard of his creation.

That's how Howard Stark found himself on a plane from London to Finow, Germany. McGinnis wasn't taking his calls. If the calls weren't reaching him or if he was intentionally ignoring him, it was difficult to say in the middle of war-torn Europe, but the general had no idea what he was getting himself into if he tried to use the Midnight Oil. To be fair, neither did Howard. He'd only seen what the gas had done to the rats in the lab he'd doused with it and that had been more than enough. The idea of what it would do to soldiers was… unconscionable. The idea made his stomach turn, and he had a pretty steady constitution.

He put the plane down not too far from the camp, but he had to be driven out to the site after arguing for far too long and threatening things he wasn't actually sure he could make good on. They didn't tell him it was too late. They were likely too afraid to. They dropped him off and ran as if they didn't want to face him or be outed as the ones that had brought him in.

Howard stood frozen in place for a long moment, dark eyes wide and lips parted in an awkward gape. Bodies littered the field, stretching out in every direction. Men in American uniforms moved between them, and despite all that they had seen in the war, even they looked squeamish as they worked to clear the field. Not that he could blame them. It was a horrific scene.

A terrified yelp sounded across the field and Howard barely had time to look over before a shot followed immediately after it, downing one last soldier. The American - the shooter - stumbled back, eyes wide as he scrambled back and Howard rushed over to him.

"What happened?" he demanded, his voice drawing the haunted blue gaze towards him.

"I thought he was dead, but he… got up. He was… he was coming for me. I had to -"

Howard cleared his throat and waved him off. Empathy had never counted very high amongst his many talents, even in the moments where he wished it would. Bumbling around and failing to comfort the kid wasn't going to do anybody any good, though, so he dropped to his knee next to the newly dead man, observing. That much he could do at this point.

He was Russian, if the tattered and bloodied uniform was anything to go by. There wasn't much left of it. It was like a wild animal had gotten ahold of him, shredding cloth and skin in vicious, angry strokes. He wouldn't have been long for the world even if the young soldier hadn't put a bullet in his chest. From the looks of him, Howard wouldn't have guessed that he could have made it to his feet before being shot. Deep, terrible gashes were visible through torn cloth and what looked like teeth marks - human, he metallurgy filed away with a shudder - on his left forearm. Blood was smeared and dried all along his face.

The young inventor drew in a trembling breath as he shifted his weight to take a look at a fallen body near that one. Also Russian, as was the one next to him and the one next to him. Not a nazi in sight. Just a bunch of Russians that looked like they'd clawed, bitten, and bludgeoned each other to death.

They'd been gassed with Midnight Oil and now McGinnis' people were cleaning up the scene. Once the men here finished there'd be no proof of what happened. Howard's word would be matched up against a general. One star, sure, but as healthy of an opinion of himself as Howard kept, he was still a twenty-seven year-old scientist whose work with the military was often so deeply classified that only a few could get their hands on it. There'd be no repercussions for McGinnis. It'd just be swept under the rug and sold off as a losing battle. There were plenty to go around, afterall.

Truth was that might happen anyway, but if Howard had proof, he could have some sway against the man that caused this. He glanced around before slipping what looked like a pen out of his breast pocket. He hasn't tested it fully yet, but no time like the present. For several long, painful moments he snapped a photo of the damage inflicted, forcing himself to look at the brutality that his invention had caused.

"Stark? Who the hell cleared you to be here?"

Howard startled at the sound of the unexpected voice. He had only spoken to John McGinnis once. Every other request or follow up on the Midnight Oil had come from men that answered to him, the general far too busy to be bothered with the scientists that he had so little regard for.

He knew that voice though, somehow. It bit through the horror and set deep like burning embers ready to fuel a rage like he had never known. And it only grew as he stood, pocketing his pen smoothly, and turned to face the man that had sent his lackies in to steal what had caused this. He stared for a long moment, a half dozen angles on how to best handle the situation running through his mind with statistics calculated for each outcome. In the end, they didn't matter.

"What did you do?" he breathed out and McGinnis snorted.

"Fought a battle, Mr Stark, though I suppose you may not recognize what that looks like from your comfy seat back in London. Lieutenant, escort Mr Stark -"

Howard loosed a trembling breath and swept his hand out towards the carnage. "You killed them."

McGinnis blinked at that, but then waved at the approaching lieutenant as if he didn't want to repeat himself. He turned to leave without bothering with another word and Howard lashed out. He caught a handful of the general's sleeve, pulling him back around and taking a swing with the momentum. The man was a walking mountain, thick and tall with a jawline that might have even put Cap's to shame. Howard had to angle the punch upward to connect at all. Even as he did, he felt the pain of the blow shoot through his knuckles, into the small bones of his hand, and up through his wrist. He stumbled, the opposite hand instinctively going to cradle the one he'd thrown the punch with, and looked back to see that he hadn't even caused McGinnis to stumble. By the looks of him, all he'd managed to do was piss him off.

The larger man lunged forward and Howard steeled himself as best he could, but every ounce of breath driven out of his lungs by the blow to his middle. He folded over, a sputtering cough barely escaping as he did, and a hard blow that felt distinctly like an elbow to his upper back - some sensations you never forget, no matter how many years it'd been - sent him crashing down to the ground.

"You just took a swing at a general in front of his troops, Stark. I thought you were supposed to be smart."

He was pulling air into his lungs in painful, shallow gasps, but somehow managed to look up at him. The larger man didn't say anything, nor did anyone around them move as Howard slowly stumbled to his feet. "You sonuva bitch," he managed. "Just couldn't wait. Couldn't ..."

Howard took another swing, but stumbled, falling into McGinnis who pulled him in close so that he was trapped there. That booming voice rumbled in his ear. "This doesn't have to be on either of us. Let it go."

The inventor shoved backwards, only breaking free because McGinnis allowed him too. He shook his head, the words not quite finding their way off his tongue.

McGinnis snorted. "You lab rats really should learn your place in this war."

And then he was moving. His punch landed hard against Howard's cheekbone and whipped his head around, the rest of him following. He was out before he hit the ground again.

                                                ____________

"Cap, how close are we to Finow?"

Steve glanced over from where he'd been poking at the dying fire, trying to urge it back to life with little success. He tilted his head as he did the mental math of where they were versus the general area Dugan was referring to. "Maybe about eighty klicks, give or take. Why?"

Dum Dum waved the radio in the air. "Just heard from Phillips. Something 'bout Stark getting into some trouble?"

Blond brows drew together and Steve stood slowly, brushing his hands off. The fire could wait. "What kind of trouble?"

"No clue. All they told Phillips was that he was being held and he should send someone to come get him first chance he got. Phillips wasn't exactly in the sharin' mood."

"Right…"

"How much you wanna bet Phillips just didn't want to admit whatever Stark's gotten himself into?" Jim Morita chuckled as he looked up from his card game with Bucky.

"Bet she's blonde," Gabe Jones added.

Bucky snorted. "And leggy. Wish I could get into some of that trouble."

Dugan broke into a wide grin under his mustache. "You and me both, brother."

Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he pulled his compass from his pocket, Peggy's photo staring up at him as he flipped it open. "We should be able to get there… maybe a day and a half?"

Falsworth finally sat up from where he'd been attempting to doze. "That'll put us behind."

"Not too bad, and not all of us need to go get Howard. Dugan, Bucky, and I can go get him while the rest of you keep going. That way you can get the scouting done by the time we get back. If Howard's not in too much trouble, we'll have him drop us over the zone."

"Don't worry, boys. We'll bring the blondes with us," Dugan offered, laughter the overwhelming response.

Steve shook his head, his lips quirked are the corners, but no matter how light the others made of the situation, it couldn't be good if Howard needed an escort back. They just wouldn't know how bad until they got there.

                                               ____________

No one seemed to want to acknowledge them when they first arrived, much less meet their eyes. That was the first sign something wasn't quite right. They finally found someone that passed them off to someone else, and they made the rounds from rank to rank until a Lieutenant Piper finally seemed to know where Howard was being kept.

"I still don't get why he needed a lift," Bucky mused in the lieutenant's direction. "He had to get out here somehow."

"The plane he came in was redirected."

Steve turned at that one, catching his friends' equally confused gazes. That didn't make sense. "Stark tends to fly his own plane in. How -?"

Piper shrugged. "Above my paygrade, Captain. Sorry."

"So who can give us some answers?" Dugan asked gruffly, receiving an irritated look from the officer. Ranks didn't mean a lot in the Howling Commandos, but they did in this company. Obviously.

"General McGinnis. But he's…" He looked over and Steve followed his gaze to a tall, broad man who immediately turned in the opposite direction. "The general is otherwise occupied. You're welcome to take Stark and go."

"Any of this sound fishy to you?" Dugan asked quietly and Bucky nodded in agreement.

They followed Lieutenant Piper to the furthest corner of the camp and into a tent marked with a red cross on white background. The uncomfortable feeling that had settled firmly into Steve's chest began to tighten and twist with each step until Piper stopped where a group of nurses had circled around a cot. He cleared his throat loudly and they scattered, revealing a grinning Howard Stark that had been at the center of their attention.

That should have eased at least some of the worry right there, but as the nurses retreated and gave him a clearer view, Steve could see why Howard had been relegated to the - strangely empty, now that he looked around - medical tent. His left cheekbone was showing signs of bruising that was just a little over a day into forming and the accompanying brow was split. His shirt hung open to reveal bandages around his ribs and his right hand was also secured in them. Somehow he'd managed to land in the middle of a fight. How or why, Steve had no idea. The lack of injured soldiers around them should mean that there hadn't been a battle anywhere nearby, even if the inventor had been caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Cap," Howard chuckled, standing slowly from his cot. "Would have thought you'd have more important things to do than come pick me up."

"We were relatively close by."

Bucky stepped forward. "What happened?"

"Huh? Oh this?" He motioned with his injured hand to his injured face. "Nothing we need to get into."

"We're gonna need a little more than that, pal," Dugan said lowly. They all knew there was more to this story than they'd been told. If anything, they had thought that Stark would be eager to fill them in. Apparently not.

Howard straightened his shoulders a little, dark gaze flickering over to where Piper still lingered off to the side. "It's nothing. I do think I need a ride though. Sounds like the Army decided to put my plane on their tab."

"We brought the jeep," Bucky offered.

"Good. Not sure I'd be great on foot too far." Howard's tone was light as he awkwardly worked the buttons of his shirt back into place and grabbed his tattered suit jacket off the back of the chair, slipping it in stiffly. He tilted his chin up as he started past Piper.

"Stark-"

"Yeah yeah. You can tell 'im I got the message loud and clear," he growled as he passed the young lieutenant.

Steve exchanged confused looks with both Bucky and Dugan before taking off after the engineer.

                                               ____________

He had gotten the message loud and clear. That's what Howard had said as they left. The loud and clear reared its ugly head not just in the visible bruises that lined his cheekbone and jaw along the left side of his face, but in the stiffness that lingered in his movements and the quiet way he folded into himself in the back of the jeep once they started out of the camp. Howard Stark was a lot of things, but quiet wasn't one of them.

The part that Steve didn't understand was exactly what the message was.

Howard was in Europe with the SSR, but his company was responsible for multiple government contracts. It wasn't unusual for him to work on special projects that took him out into the field, but unless he was slipping off to fly the Howling Commandos on a particularly difficult mission that they couldn't get an Army pilot approved for, he wasn't supposed to be anywhere near the actual fighting at the time it was happening. Even if he'd been caught up in the battle there, though, there was no reason he'd be so locked down about the whole thing. Something else was wrong.

They had stopped for the night on their way up to an airstrip where Howard could catch a ride back up to London. Any other time he would have been teasing and joking and laughing with the others. The Commandos had a fondness for their resident designer that made sure all of their equipment could withstand whatever Hydra would throw at them, even if they gave him hell. This time, though, even Bucky couldn't pull him out of his own head.

"Never thought I'd see the day Stark didn't leap at being the center of attention in any way possible," his oldest friend mumbled as he moved close enough that Steve was the only one that could hear him.

"Did you get anything from him?"

"Nope. Neither did Dugan. Whatever happened, he's locked down tight."

"But why?"

Steve looked over as Bucky pushed a thoughtful breath out through his nose. "I know a beatdown when I see one. Whoever he went toe-to-toe with was bigger than him. Stronger than him."

"Not hard."

Bucky shot him a long-suffering look. "Says the man that was actually shorterthan him just a couple of years ago." Dark blue eyes fixed on him. "Go talk to him."

"Neither of you could get anything from him. What makes you think I can?"

"'Cause it's you."

Steve shot him a confused look and Bucky rolled his eyes.

"Stark practically idolizes you. If anybody's got a chance in getting him to open up about what happened, it's you."

He didn't give Steve the chance to argue, but brushed past him with the mumbled comment about getting more wood for the fire. With all of the subtlety of a bull in a china closet, Dugan followed, leaving Steve to make his hesitant way over to the brooding scientist.

Sometimes it was hard to remember that Howard was only a little over a year older. Steve had sat in the lab listening him go on and on about the path that had landed him with the SSR while the Manhattan-native had pieced together his upgraded uniform and shield. He had waved off questions about his family, but he'd happily gone on and on about the connections he'd made at MIT which had led him to starting his own business by the time he was twenty-two that eventually led Phillips to recruiting him to the SSR - because he was bored, Howard had told him flippantly, and Steve still wasn't sure if that had been a joke or not - and eventually to Project Rebirth. He'd done so much in his twenty-seven years of life that sometimes it was hard to remember that's all he'd lived.

In that moment, as Howard sat alone with his spine curled and his shoulders crumbled forward under the weight of whatever he refused to talk about, he looked older too.

"How're you feeling?" Steve asked after a long moment, startling the dark haired man from the thoughts he looked like he was drowning in.

A pair of dark brown eyes blinked owlishly up at him, catching the glimmer from the fire just a few feet away. "Huh? Oh. I'm fine. It looks worse than it feels."

Steve motioned to the open space next to him and Howard shrugged gingerly, giving him the go-ahead to take a seat. "I've been there. It usually feels about as bad as it looks."

Howard snorted at that, the sound mostly amused. "Never did run from a fight, did you Cap? Me, I don't jump on the grenade. I just find a way to stick the pin back in."

"So what happened this time?"

"Sometimes there's no way to stick it back in," the other man said softly, his voice shaking just a little.

Steve caught his gaze. "Howard, what happened?"

A beat of silence stretched into another and then another, leaving Steve with the feeling that he was going to get the same silent treatment as the others had. Finally, Howard pulled in a breath, the first words riding out on its release. "What I say doesn't leave us. It's gotta….I can't win this with fists." He looked over, quirking a split eyebrow. "As you can see."

That pulled the softest of chuckles from Steve. "It stays between us," he promised.

"The general there - McGinnis - asked me to come up with something that could keep soldiers awake longer. Days was the goal."

"Can't see how that'd go wrong," Steve grumbled.

"And it did. A lot of men died. A lot of Allied men died. They... " Steve waited, watching Stark curl a little more into himself, his hands moving anxiously as he tried to come up with the words. "It was like an animal got loose and ripped them all to shreds. It was my fault."

Steve swallowed hard. An empty med tent was unheard of after a battle with the nazis. They hadn't fought the nazis though. "Did he know?"

Howard's gaze snapped up at the question. "I hear that tone, Cap. You said this would stay between us."

"And it will. I'll keep my word, but, Howard, if he knew it wasn't ready and used it anyway…. That's not your fault."

For another long moment Howard simply sat, dark eyes reflecting the flames dancing in front of them, and he shook his head. "I knew what it'd do and I didn't protect it. Not gonna make that mistake again."

"What are you doing to do?"

"No putting the pin back in. That grenade's already gone off, but maybe I can keep him from doing any more damage with it. Taking a swing at him was, uh… not one of my brighter moments." Steve couldn't help but snort a laugh at that and Howard's lips tugged just a little at the corners. "There are other ways to take a dangerous man outta play."

Steve watched him for a long moment. "Just be careful, okay?"

Howard finally looked up at him and he burst out laughing, the sound startling the blond man. "Careful's not really my style."

"No it's not," Steve chuckled, shaking his head.

"I just gotta fix this, best I can. Best way I know how." He pulled in a breath and his tone was a little lighter. "Don't worry, Cap. I'm not abandoning you guys." His dark gaze flickered past Steve to where Bucky and Dugan were doing a terrible job at pretending to mind their own business. "Someone's gotta drop you crazy bastards in the middle of the firefight when no one else will."

"Takes one to know one," Dugan laughed and Howard flashed a grin that almost seemed real.

The others joined them and they settled into a more comfortable conversation for the rest of the evening, no one daring to turn the subject back around to what had happened.

They dropped Howard off at the airstrip the next day and he turned down the offer for one of them to go with him to London, saying that he needed to get some things done on his own. From what Steve heard he didn't stay in London long, returning instead to New York. A little over a week later the news spread that General John McGinnis had resigned from his post and just a few days after that Howard cut ties with one of his biggest Army contracts, sending a wave of uncertainty through the ranks. An expensive decision on all sides, from what was being said, but Steve was willing to bet it had more to do with trust than money.

Promises made or not, the Howling Commandos had no idea what to expect when they got back to their London base. Stark's men, for the most part, worked for the SSR rather than him directly, so at least in theory they would still be equipped for their missions. Getting there might be a bit more difficult if he'd decided to pack it up and go home.

"Well look at that," Bucky chuckled as they made their way into the labs to find Howard Stark working away like nothing had happened.

"Had you not heard?" Peggy Carter's voice drifted in, drawing their attention over. "The SSR has Mr Stark's full attention again. Lucky us."

"You know you love having me around more, Peg," Howard chuckled from where he was leaned in, examining something under his microscope.

She rolled her eyes good naturedly at the tease. "There's never a dull moment, certainly. Good to see you back in one piece, Captain. Boys."

"Agent Carter," he greeted as she moved past him towards the door, hoping that his smile didn't look nearly as dopey as it felt. He pulled in a breath and turned back to Howard. "We hadn't heard if you were coming back or not."

"Told you I was." He turned, the bruises faded and all that amusement finally back in those dark eyes. "Where's the trust, Cap?"

"About seven hundred feet in the air over Hydra-occupied territory, if you're up for it."

"Going in?"

"We've got a pretty tight turn around this time and can't seem to find a pilot willing to take us."

"Guess it's a good thing I brought a new plane back with me," he said lightly as he slipped off the stool he'd been perched on and started for the door.

                                               ____________

Notes: I came across the story that Dooley's reporter friend tells him about how Howard's Midnight Oil was used in WWII during the first season of Peggy Carter and couldn't shake the idea of Howard Stark trying to go toe-to-toe with someone twice his size and failing miserably. The Stark men are much better at fighting smarter.

It definitely took a whole lot longer to write than I was expecting... I guess that's just the way when I'm first dipping my toe into writing in a different part of the fandom. I got hooked on writing Howard in my Endgame fix-it fic that brought him forward with Steve and Peggy and now I have all these plot bunnies running amok for WWII era Howard, Peggy, Steve, and the Howling Commandos. Hopefully there will be more. :)

[the--sad--hatter]

Over The Hill (Bucky x Reader)

This has several prompts but I don’t wanna spoil the story so I won’t say which ones. Just be warned, this is very heavy on the angst and has major character death... 

 James Buchanan Barnes was almost indescribable.

 He was like the last rays of sunshine on the best day of summer. There was beauty and brightness there but was tinged with loss.

 He was like that song, you know the one? The one everyone has, the song that is so sad, so painful and still so beautiful. With every note you feel your heart break a little bit more and no matter how many times you hear it, you still cry every time. But you still listened because even the sadness itself felt like a privilege if you got to listen to the song.

The melancholy sadness that radiated off of him was almost unbearable. Part of you wanted to avoid him because seeing him that way, it just hurt. But then he would smile, this soft, pain filled smile. And even though it hurt worse than anything you had ever felt, it was a privilege to see it.

 All the pain in him wasn’t enough to temper his kindness, his desire to help. He would bend over backwards to make sure nobody else was suffering, even if it was something small and unimportant.

 Couldn’t reach a cup on the top shelf? Bucky was there, handing it to you.

 Too many bags to carry? He would be taking them all off of you before you even realised he had approached you.

 You water bottle was empty on a warm day? A cold, fresh one would be handed to you mid run.

 Steve admonishing you for messing up a mission? Bucky would be there, pointing out everything you had done right and how you could learn from your mistakes.

 The guy Natasha set you up with turned out to be an asshole? Well, you couldn’t prove it but that guy quickly transferred away from the compound after writing you a very long apology note.

 But the one thing he couldn’t help with, the one pain he couldn’t sooth was the heartbreak of loving him and knowing he didn’t love you back. It was the worst sort of pain you had ever felt in your life, an all consuming ache that you carried in your chest at all times. But if you could go back and never have met him, saved yourself all that trouble? You wouldn’t do it. Knowing Bucky Barnes was worth it, even if it destroyed you.

 ~~~~~~~~~~In The Beginning~~~~~~~~~~

 “You’re wasting your talents.” You cousin chided you.

 You tucked the phone between your shoulder and ear, trying to balance the massive pile of files in one hand and your coffee cup in the other as you walked through the bustling halls of the Quantico headquarters.

 “Maria! I’m working for the FBI, it’s not like I’m driving the forklift in a Walmart Warehouse.” You protested.

 “Fury would take you back in a heartbeat, it’s not Shield but it’s better.” She tried.

 “In that it’s not secretly hosting a parasitic Nazi organization?” You snorted.

 “Yes. Just call fury, you can’t tell me you aren’t bored.” She sighed.

 “I’m a little bored, but Nicky hates me.” You refuted.

 “He hates that you call him Nicky but time has made him forget how annoying you are and reminded him of your good qualities.” She argued.

 “What, that I’m really good at shooting people?” You scoffed.

 “Exactly.”

 “Maria, I followed you into Shield but honestly, Shield falling was kind of a good thing for me. Yes, I’m bored but I’m not unhappy to be out of that game.”

 “What about The Avengers? I could put a call in for you, and Barton and Romaoff would back me up.” She offered.

 That made you pause.

 “They looking for Agents?” You enquired.

 “They’re always looking for good agents.” She said victoriously, knowing she had you.

 “And I wouldn’t be under Nicky’s thumb?” You checked.

 “Fury has no authority there.” She confirmed.

 You looked at the obscene amount of paperwork as you dumped it on your desk and absentmindedly stroked the holstered gun on your hip, the one that hadn’t been fired outside of a shooting range in months.

 “Alright, hook me up with The Avengers.” You agreed.

 That was how you found yourself dragging a duffel bag into the Upstate Avengers compound two weeks later.

 “Can I help you with that?” A soft voice said from behind you.

 You turned your head to see a long haired, beautiful man standing a few feet away nervously, waiting for you to give him permission to approach. His hand was outstretched and you noticed it was metal, which drew your eyes back to his face.

“I would appreciate that.” You said gratefully.

 He took the bag from you, eyebrows raising when he realized how heavy it was.

 “What do you have in here?” He asked, blushing when he realised it was probably a personal question.

 “Pretty much everything I own. So a lot of weapons and a lot of shoes.” You said, grinning at him.

 “Are you moving in?” He asked curiously, carrying the bag towards the elevator.

 “Actually, yes I am Sergeant Barnes.” You nodded, following him.

 “You know who I am?”

 “You’re recognisable. And chivalrous but not blonde, so that narrowed it down.” You joked.

 “Bucky. Call me Bucky.” He said softly.

 “Bucky… I’m.”

 “Oh no.” He groaned and you froze up in alarm as he turned to you with a deer in the headlights look.  

 “Will you marry me?” He asked in a rush, eyes wide.

 “We met three minutes ago, you don’t even know my name!” You laughed, puzzled by the request.

 “Please, please just pretend that we are madly in love and getting married!” He begged.

 “Ok?” You agreed.

 He sighed in relief and slipped his arm around your waist, pulling you into his chest. Before you could even let out a noise of surprise you heard someone yelling his name.

 “Oh Sergeant Barnes!”

 Even you winced at the shrill tone and you had a pretty good idea of why you were now engaged. You glanced up to see a tall, blonde woman barrelling towards you. Whether she was in a rush or just couldn’t stop the momentum, you weren’t sure. If you were wearing heels that high, you’d probably keep moving as well, too afraid of toppling over if you stopped.  As she drew closer her eyes zero’d in on you and narrowed hatefully as she sized you up.

 “Who’s your friend?” She asked with forced friendliness.

 “Uh, Babette, I told you about her right. This is my fiancée.” He explained, looking between the two of you nervously.

 “I’ve told you, everybody calls me Babe.” She laughed, glaring at you through the cackle.

 “Well hey Babe, I’m Agent Hill the younger.” You announced, offering her your hand.

 Bucky’s hand tightened on your waist as he realised who you were.

 “Agent… Hill?” She gulped.

 “”That’s right.” You said, grinning up at Bucky with a mischievous twinkle in your eye.

 “Well we should get you settled in upstairs, everyone’s dying to see you.” Bucky said, trying to pull you away.

 “Bye Babe!” You yelled as he dragged you away.

 As soon as you were on the elevator he dropped the charade.

 “I’m so sorry!” He gushed, releasing your waist like you’d burned him.

 “Why exactly are we getting married?” You asked him.

 “She.. well she’s relentless and I didn’t know how to get her to stop flirting with me without being rude. So I told her I was with someone and when she asked if it was serious I said I was engaged. She still didn’t want to back off so when I saw her coming over, I panicked.” He admitted, blushing slightly.

 “Ah. You should have told her you were gay.” You said, shaking your head in mock disappointment.

 “You’re glossing over the whole panicking thing aren’t you?”

 “Well, if you need a fake fiancée to ward of the Babe’s of the world then let me know.” You offered, trying to reassure him with a gentle smile.  

 “Thank you. For going along with it.” He said genuinely.

 He was so sincere and soft spoken, charming and kind that you immediately found yourself drawn in by him.

 “Anything for you Bucky.” You said, meaning it to be a joke.

 Turned out, the joke was on you.

 ~~~~~~~~~~Today~~~~~~~~~~

 “Steve, we can stop the detonations from decimating the city but we need to do it from here.” Bucky said into the comms, his eyes haunted.

 He was right, Stark had done what he could to ensure that the bombs wouldn’t go off by jamming the signals. But the catch was, he couldn’t jam the signal to the bomb where the three of you were stood and someone needed to be here to keep jamming the signal.

 “Get her out of here.” Bucky said to Tony, ignoring you.

 “Barnes…” Tony argued weakly.

 “You can fly, you have a better chance of getting her away.” Bucky said decisively.

 “Bucky, I…” You gasped, looking around desperately.

 “There’s no other way.” Bucky said apologetically, knowing what you were looking for.

 Tears stung at your eyes as you launched yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck.

 “I love you.” You whispered in his ear before you pulled away.

 You saw the shock on his eyes at your admission, the pained look on his face. And then the horror as the metal pipe you’d grabbed slammed into his skull.

 “What the hell?” Tony demanded as Bucky crumbled to the ground.

 “I can’t carry him out. You have to do it.” You said coldly.

 Tony looked between Bucky’s unconscious body and the firm, stubborn look on your face as he realised what you’d just done. You’d backed him into a corner.

 “Agent Hill, it’s been an honour.” He said sadly, knowing there was no time for a long drawn out goodbye.

 “Tell Maria it was my choice and I didn’t regret it. Please?” You begged as he picked Bucky’s prone form up off the floor.

 “I will.” Tony said, with one last pained look of regret before his visor closed and he was gone.

 You got to work, typing the code Tony had input into the system that jammed the radio signals.

 Bucky woke up a safe distance away from the building, just in time to see it go up in flames with a ground shaking boom.

 “Where is she?!” He roared, swaying as he stood up and tried to move towards the building.

 “She made her choice Barnes, I’m sorry.” Tony apologised, pulling him back.

 Bucky struggled against him, frantically trying to get to you even as he watched the building crumble.

 “NO!” He screamed, the futility of the situation slamming into him and forcing him to his knees.

 “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Tony repeated, trying to push his own pain aside.

 “She can’t be gone.” Bucky whispered.

 “Barnes… look!” Tony said in shock, hoping his eyes weren’t deceiving him.

 The red figure flying out of the building flew closer and Vision landed in front of them, carrying a very bloody, very burned but very alive you in his arms. Bucky scrambled to his feet and gently grabbed you from Vision.

 “I tried to get there before the explosion but I was unable to save her.” Vision apologised.

 “S’alright Vis, you did good.” You assured weakly.

 “What were you thinking? You could have been killed!” Bucky demanded, cradling you to his chest carefully and angling you towards Tony so Friday could scan your vitals.

 “I was thinking that you were in danger and I would happily die rather than live in a world without you in it.” You told him sincerely.

 “What you said… You didn’t just say it to distract me?” He demanded desperately.

 “I love you Bucky, I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t want to lose you.”

 “You wouldn’t. You won’t. I love you, I fucking love you, I’m sorry I ever made you think otherwise.” He professed.

 Tony gently grasped his shoulder and he looked up to see the other mans heartbroken expression.

 “She’s got major internal bleeding, Ambulance is coming but..” Tony trailed off.

 Bucky looked back down at you and noticed the way you were rapidly losing colour and your eyes were fluttering closed.  

 “I will spend the rest of my life making it all up to you but you need to live, please just hold on.” He begged.

 “Sorry. I’m sorry.” You whispered.

 “Don’t be sorry, just live.” He pleaded.

 But you were only human, and not even force of will could help you survive the force of a bomb and a building collapsing on you. By the time the ambulance arrived less than a minute later, you were already gone. They tried to revive you but your heart wouldn’t restart, and Bucky’s heart broke. He clutched your hand as the paramedics called the time of death.

 “I love you. I will always love you and I will tell you that every day for the rest of my life, I just wish you were alive to hear it.”

A/N - Yeah, don’t worry, I hate me as well for writing this..... 

[heymusings]

Things I loved in individual Marvel Movies (FYI...there’s a lot)

Iron Man

The epitome of showing character development within the time frame of a single film through Tony Stark.

Pepper Potts pretty much being Tony’s baby sitter.

Soundtrack

A man who has everything and nothing.

It’s literally just a well balanced action movie.

The fact that is was mostly just RDJ improvising and the other actors having to work with it.

Tony realizing he is part of the problem and finds his purpose in trying to fix those problems, and by doing so working to become a better person.

The fact that Tony is still not a fully realized “hero” at the end of this film-- he still has some quirks to work through and is a little too arrogant.  But this really sets up for even more amazing character development in the next films.

It is a movie of its time-- terrorism and greedy businessmen as the villains.

The fact that Tony and Pepper are not a couple by the end, even when I ship them.

“I am Iron Man”  The instant new trend of not hiding their identity.

Tony: Throw in a little hot rod red.  Jarvis: Yes, that will help you keep a low profile.

Pepper buying herself a birthday present from Tony.

Tony seeing her in the dress.

Pepper “taking out the garbage”-- burn

Tony’s suite tests and Dummy trying to put out a fire.

Tony making the first suite in the cave-- i love that montage

Stane’s moment in realizing how the suite worked-- it’s such a silent but great moment

“Don’t waste your life.”

The acting that takes place in the moment Stane takes the reactor out of Tony’s chest is amazing-- RDJ doesn’t even say anything.

Pepper getting the thumb drive out of the office-- and having the forethought to have Coulson follow her-- Coulson just sitting there waiting (it was oddly funny to me).

The eventual use of the SHIELD acronym

Proof that Tony Stark has a heart.

I don’t have anyone but you.

Iron Man 2

Tony and Pepper kissing for the first time....admittedly the first two films came out at a time when the thing I mostly cared about was shipping.

Soundtrack

Stark clearly still developing as a person and superhero...I love me some character development.

Stark refusing to give the suite

“If your priority was to actually to...”-- Tony questioning governmental control

“I am Iron Man.  The suite and I are one.  To turn it over will be to turn over myself which would be tantamount to indentured servitude or prostitution...”

The Iron Man suit as a “shield”--- interesting.

I love watching Tony in his workshop.

Dummy.

Pepper taking charge several times throughout.

Natasha totally taking out Happy when he assumes she can’t.

Pepper actually coming to like Natasha as her assistant.

Tony dealing with his mortality

Tony: Were you aiming for him or me...I can’t tell!

Happy just ramming into Whiplash with the car over and over again.

I told you I don’t want to be part of your super secret boy band.

Fury and Tony talking about Howard Stark and how he was one of the founding members of shield.

Shout out to the tessaract.

Phil: I will taze you and watch super nanny as your drool into the carpet.  Got it?

The ex wife.

Tony: Hammer tech? Rhodey: Yea.

Two seals fighting over a grape.

Phil leaving to go to New Mexico-- Thor shout out.

“Nice work kid.”

Pepper!!!

War machine and Iron Man working together to beat the iron suites-- I am partial to the shots of them in the Park area

Natasha beating the shit out of all the guys as she makes her way down the hallway...doing so very nonchalantly-- while happy takes on one guy.

Tony: You have a big gun but you’re not the big gun.

Hammer’s shock that Pepper is having him arrested while Pepper just glares at him totally unafraid of him.

Captain America shout out.

Pepper and Tony kiss.

I was here first, get a roof.

Tony: Text book narcissism?....agreed.

Getting the guy who hated Stark to present the award at the end.

“Funny, how annoying a little prick can be.”

Iron Man 3

Tony interacting with Harley  

The question if Iron Man is the suite or the man-- Tony clearly needing to come to terms with the question if his heroism comes from the man or the suite-- and has to do so by accepting his weaknesses.

Tony proving he can still be a hero without the suite. He is a mechanic-- him infiltrating the mandarin mansion without the suite and just a bunch of every day items is amazing.  This film just reminds us that his bad-assery comes from his mind. It is honestly just one of the best Stark moments all around.

Continuity in how Tony is affected by what happens to him.

Pepper coming to the rescue.

The fact that Tony went back for Dummy after his home was attacked.

In the end Tony is sure that even without the suite he is still Iron Man-- You can take away my tricks and toys, but the one thing you can’t take away...I am Iron Man.

The Dora Explorer watch

Honestly, I hate working here.  They are so weird.

Captain America

Agent Carter totally beating the men into place and Steve clearly loving it.

Bucky: Weren’t you smaller?... What happened to you? Steve: I joined the army.  Bucky: Did it hurt...is it permanent?  Steve: A little...so far.

The introduction of the heart of the character-- good man vs perfect soldier

He’s artistic-- this really says something about his character.

The flag bit will not make me laugh.

Peggy Carter...enough said...literally...everything about her.

Steve using the garbage lid as a shield-- I just like the foreshadowing... someone get that man a shield.

I can do this all day-- even when he is tiny and doesn’t stand a chance he doesn’t back down against a bully knowing he won’t win (but he still called out the bully)

Knowing Peggy touching Steve’s chest was technically an honest reaction by the actress-- she was literally so shocked by seeing him without a shirt for the first time.

The fact that I can say, “aw look how cute and little they are,” about both Bucky and Steve.

Steve jumping on the grenade...is this a test?

He’s still skinny.

“You have no idea how to talk to a woman do you.”

“Waiting for the right partner.”

“How do you feel?” “Taller.”

“I could do this all day.”

Peggy making a kill shot on a man that is in a car and at quite a distance.

Peggy non nonchalantly shooting at Steve to test shield, but mostly out of jealousy...and Steve looking ready to pee himself. 

Kid: go get him, I can swim.

The extreme differences in the reactions to the “performance” in the cities compared to the camps.

I really like the leather jacket.

“Where I am going if anyone yells at me I can shoot them”  “Undoubtedly they will be shooting back.”

Fondue

Peggy: You can’t give me orders.  Steve: The hell I can’t, I am a Captain.

Steve: You sure this thing works? Howard: It’s been tested more than you, pal.

Do you know what you’re doing? Steve: Yeah, I knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky: You don’t have one of those do you?

Bucky refusing to leave Steve behind.

Cap and Bucky leading the rescued men back to camp.

I couldn’t call my ride.

Bucky: That little guy from Brooklyn that was too dumb to run away from a fight, I am following him.

Bucky: I am visible, I am turning into you.  This is a horrible dream.  Steve: Don’t take it so hard.  Maybe she has a friend.

Bucky’s face of pure confusion after realizing Peggy wasn’t going to give him the time of day.

The subtle development of the friendship between Howard and Steve.

Bucky’s sniper skills.

Bucky: Remember when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island? Steve: Yeah, and I threw up.  Bucky: This isn’t payback is it?

Bucky: I had him on the ropes.  Steve: I know you did.

Any time Bucky and Steve work together-- it just comes off very natural.

Bucky wielding, if only for a moment, the Captain America Shield.

Peggy and Steve’s kiss

I am not kissing ya.

Steve’s sacrifice.

Steve being able to think coherently enough to recognize that something is wrong when he wakes up by realizing the baseball game is too old.

The shot of Steve on a modern New York City.

“I had a date.”

Captain America Winter Soldier

The opening running scene (rather than something more actionesque-- and the banter that builds as Steve continuously passes Sam... this also really sets up the fact that this is a film that concentrates almost solely on characters (despite having great action sequences).

On your left....two passes later...Don’t say it.

Steve’s speech over the intercom, “...It’s a price I’m willing to pay.  I may be the only one...but I am willing to bet I am not.”

Steve in glasses.

The Winter Solider-- his knife skills....the clear progression throughout the film as he becomes more and more conflicted.

“I am 95, I am not dead.”--- I need more information about this line.

“Does anyone want to get off?”

Natasha and Steve as a team-- Steve becoming more trusting of her

The fact that of any movie he could have watched after waking up Steve watched “Saw”

Steve/WS hand to hand battle

“This isn’t freedom; this is fear.” (Steve seeing Shield as a bully...he doesn’t like bullies)

Steve’s progressive realization that the power of the individual to make choices is more important than orders from an entity that may have ulterior motives.

Falcon/Sam treating Steve like a regular guy and just developing a loyal friendship that I appreciate.

 WS catching Steve’s shield with one arm.

Until the end of the line.

Bucky/WS’s murder walk.

Nat: Where did Captain America learn to steal a car? Steve: Nazi Germany, and we’re borrowing, take your feet off the dash.

It’s really not your style Rogers.  Steve: You’re right, it’s not, it’s hers (then commence Nat still trying to find Steve a date).

Captain America Civil War

Bucky noticeably uncomfortable when he first hears the sirens, then his relief when they pass him and the immediate return to being on edge when he notices the man looking at him from across the street.

So many reminders that Bucky’s nature is not toward violence.

Steve confronting Bucky in his apartment only for Bucky to run, trying so hard to avoid a fight...but the fight that happens I love, especially in the stairwell.

Bucky going after the reactor of the Iron Man suite-- noticeably not going for killing blows during the final fight and despite Tony full out trying to kill him.

How tired and sad Bucky sounds when he tells Cap, “It always ends in a fight

Wanda: You guys know I can move things with my mind right.

Wanda: You were pulling your punches.

Steve’s talk with Wanda about doing and saving who you can and that it doesn’t always mean everyone.

Tony managing to disarm the greatest assassin with nothing but a gauntlet while wearing a three piece suite.

Steve’s clear conflict regarding his friendship with Tony and willingness to forgive him at the end.

Wanda’s relationship with both Clint and Steve... I wanted more of this.

Steve understanding the dangers of the accords more than Tony (based on experience)-- and the importance of his message, “you can’t save everyone,” but you can save the majority.

I admit...this movie got me so worked up about how Tony wants so much to start pushing away the blame for even one lost life that he becomes so willing to place all the responsibility on a governmental power rather than the individual (as Steve believes) even at the cost of putting targets on the back of his friends/allies.  I will never not be shocked at his shock when he talks of Wanda as a weapon or his shock when they put them all in prison. But I also love that I got so worked up about this-- it makes for a great watch.

“No you move.”

Bucky and the motorcycle-- wow, that was not only cool...but it was really, REALLY hot.

I can’t control their fear-- only my own.

I retire for like what five minutes and it all goes to shit.

You want to mope go to high school.  You want to make amends, you get off your ass.

I can’t, but she can.

You locked me in my room.

Bucky being totally done with all the weird stuff going on around him.

“I can do this all day.”

Geez, Tony.  How old is this guy.

Bucky moving in front of Sam to protect him from Spiderman.

You couldn’t have done that earlier? (I hate you.)

Can you move your seat up. (No).

“You don’t deserve it-- My father made that shield”-- he sounds like a child trying to defend himself and his actions.  Steve dropping the shield and taking Bucky is pretty much him winning the fight-- taking the higher ground-- good man vs. good soldier being reiterated here.  The shield doesn’t take away from Cap’s strength at all-- what made him a hero is his heart, the fact that he is a good man and he doesn’t need the shield.  This is something that Tony is still learning and coming to terms with in his developmental arc.

This is the first time that we see Tony truly angry during his first with Steve-- he is being driven by his instincts to get revenge at that moment-- he is devastating but it takes away from one of his strengths-- thinking things out.

Tony is in the wrong regarding his trying to kill Bucky, he even practically admits it when Steve attempts to get him to see reason, “I don’t care, he killed my mom.” Tony is in the wrong and yet Steve still understands Tony’s feelings, yet he can’t let Bucky die even from someone he calls a friend-- this just makes for good emotionally intense conflict that is matched by the actual physical conflict.

Steve: He’s my friend. Tony: So was I-- this line literally emotionally devastates both characters.

Steve: I can do this all day. (Cap refusing to back down to protect his friend).

Tony losing because of one moment Bucky helps Steve simply by providing a seconds distraction.

Natasha being there for Steve at Peggy’s funeral

Tony trying to appeal to Steve’s past in order to get him to sign the accords using pens from Howard (one for each of them) and Steve’s response, “Some would say it bought us closer to war.” What a way to immediately set up where these two stand.

The idea that there are two sides to “right”-- Steve concentrating on moral and Tony being a realist... it really calls in to question which side you agree with most, and I love that.

Steve: If I see a situation going south I can’t ignore it.  I wish I could.  Tony: No you don’t.  Steve: You’re right, I don’t.

Tony clearly trying to use the accords as an excuse to help him stop because he keeps finding excuses to not stop even when he wants to for Pepper

Did you know?-- the fact that it finally is made clear that Steve is not perfect and is willing to lie.  He has reasons, but I think it is great to realize the contrast between the legend of perfect Captain America and Steve Rogers.

Steve realizing that the accords are similar to what Shield was doing in trying to deter war using fear/threats/control before it happened (which never works)-- Steve’s, “She’s a kid!” vs Tony’s, “She’s not a U.S. citizen and they don’t grant visas to weapons of mass destruction!” is really Steve’s break away from any possibility of him signing the accords. 

Tony’s greatest fear of being alone coming to pass as he is left at Avengers headquarters alone.

Steve: Where you from kid? Peter: Queens. Steve: Brooklyn

Tony never really seems to truly agree with the accords (not only does he also break them) on a moral level and he seems haunted by it throughout the film, while Steve is made stronger by his decision because he is sure of his position 

Tony: I am trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart. Steve: You did that when you signed-- how upset Tony is vs. how calm and matter of fact Steve is (who is surer of themselves?)

Thor

Frigga and Loki’s relationship

Darcy... she needs to be around more in the other movies.

Not that it’s a favorite thing, but I am honestly always confused how Thor is so hero worshiped when he’s kind of a dick at the beginning, and then when Loki starts doing similar things that Thor did he’s the bad guy (not saying he should have done them...but double standards and hypocrisy abound in this movie).  The more you watch the more you realize that everyone treats Loki like crap... like wow, they were all lucky Loki loved Thor and his family or he would have done something much sooner.

Loki’s manipulations.

Sif: I did.  Thor: True, but I supported you.

“ What happened, silver tongue turned to lead?”

Loki’s entire storyline.

Sif.

Loki using magic and daggers-- his fighting style is so interesting, wish we saw more of it.

“Go home little princess.” “Damn”

Loki being touched by the frost giant.

Loki more actively protecting the warriors three and Sif on Johtunheim than Thor.

Loki’s face while listening to the argument between Odin and Thor.

Darcy: Does he need CPR, because I totally know CPR.

Darcy: Yeah, we can tell you’re hammered, it's pretty obvious.

Jane: I grazed him, but she tasered him.  Darcy: Yes, I did.

The number of times Jane hits Thor with a car.

Loki’s confrontation with Odin and the pure emotion that Hiddleston portrays in that moment.

Thor’s new found love of pop tarts and coffee

Next time you decide to taser someone make sure he’s already in the car.

Jane and Darcy’s reactions to Thor’s attractiveness.

“I used to know this scientist.  I pioneer in gamma radiation.  SHIELD showed up and I never saw them again.”

The first introduction to Hawkeye...being told to grab a gun but taking the bow and arrow instead.

Barton: You want me to slow him down sir or are you going to send in more guys for him to beat up.

Thor: You’re big- fought bigger.

Barton: I am starting to root for this guy.

Science Fiction as a precursor to science fact.

Science Fiction is just science we don’t understand yet.

My realization that even as early as the first Thor film Thor and Loki’s earth fashion sense was already very much established- high power businessman vs. “very comfortable/casual”-- symbolic, maybe.

The fact that Loki as a villain is perfection-- he is a match for Thor, he is personable, his motivations are similar but he has different methods, and you can see some reason in them.

Donald Blake shout outs.

Loki going from being rather meek at the beginning compared to his second return to Johtunheim to strike a deal with Laufey.

The fact that Loki clearly had no intention of letting Laufey kill Odin.

Heimdal’s learning that Loki is a better sorcerer then he was given credit for and can cloak himself even from the gatekeeper.

Thor and Jane bonding over science/magic.

We got xena, Jackie chan and Robin hood.

“Found you!”

“Is that one of Stark’s?”

Thor’s sacrifice- I love the drama of it.

Thor’s powers being returned- again, very dramatic.

So this is how you normally look-- it’s a good look.

Loki: I never wanted the throne! I only wanted to be your equal.

Thor pinning Loki just by putting the hammer on his chest.

Loki: I could have done it, father!Loki’s look of devastation when he is again rejected by his father.

Thor Dark World

Ta Da!

Loki totally ignoring the chaos of battle around him as he reads a book.

“I like her.”

You’ll what? Kill me? Evidently, there will be a line.

Loki: Now they’re firing at us.  Thor: Thank you for the commentary Loki, it's not at all distracting.

Loki and Thor teaming up and using Loki’s magic in battle... I would have loved to have seen more of this team up happening in the films

To be honest, the only real saving grace of this movie was Loki... which I can get behind.

“I didn’t do it for him.”

Loki lecturing Thor about his escape plan and Thor pushing him out the open hatch in their ship.

Loki being revealed on the throne.

“Oh dear, is she dead?”

“I think you missed a column”

Loki’s reaction to Frigga’s death.

Loki’s look after having yelled at his mother.

Frigga attempting to make Loki’s imprisonment comfortable, she will never not see him as her son.

Who put me there! (There are so many levels to that statement and the acting is amazing).

Thor Ragnarok

Soundtrack

The whole play that Loki had written for himself and his pure enjoyment of it while pretending to be Odin.

“Beg your pardon?”

“You had one job. Just the one.”

“I am not a witch.” “How come you dress like one?” “Hey (offended).”

Thor’s powers

“I’ve been falling for 30 minutes!”

Hela-- love her-- a little anti-climatic ending.

Loki’s epic eye roll.

“Oh shit.”

Thor totally fangirling over Valkyrie.

Thor’s story about when he and Loki were 8 and Loki pretended to be a snake before stabbing him.

“It’s in my brain now”

Thor being full out God of Thunder and the soundtrack during the scene is amazing.

“I am not doing get help.”

“Do you have a better plan?” “No.” “We’re doing it.”

Loki cheering the Hulk smashing Thor.

Loki using his daggers again...I still wish we got to see more of that.

Your savior is here.

“I saw you coming.”  “Of course you did”

“I’ve never met this man in my life.” “He’s my brother.” “Adopted.”

“I’m here.”

Avengers

There is something I greatly enjoy about the shot of Loki being taken in shackles down the hallway of the Shield based-- he definitely still feels in control even then.

Learning to become a team and not just automatically being a well-oiled machine.

Tony and Bruce’s science bromance

There will always be men like you.

Loki: I am listening.

Tony: Doth mother know you wearath her drapes.

Fury: 10 bucks says your wrong...Cap paying up on his bet with Fury.

Cap’s simple response: You should have left it in the ocean.

Avengers theme

I’ve got red in my ledger, I’d like to wipe it out.... the whole scene between Loki and Nat and the changing power dynamics during it is simply great writing and acting. And the end line of Nat’s being, “Thank you for your cooperation,” to show she came out on top in that battle is extra awesome.

She turns out not be another pretty face--- and then Natasha proceeds to annihilate them single-handed

Coulson calling Natasha through her targets phone then arguing with him on the phone that she’s too busy working, while also being tied up.

Natasha being convinced to leave her mission by being told Barton was compromised.

Bruce is on the run but still trying to do good.

Mark Ruffalo as Bruce

“No its won by soldiers”...fade into Captain America’s first intro in the film.

Tony: Like Christmas, but more me.

12% of a moment.

Tony: his first name is agent.

Pepper:  Is this about the Avengers initiative...which I know nothing about.  Tony:...I didn’t qualify for.  Pepper: I didn’t know that either.  Tony: Apparently I am volatile, self-obsessed, don’t play well with others.  Pepper: That I did know.

Phil and Pepper being chummy with each other...I would have enjoyed more of this.

Coulson totally fan-boying over Cap.

Coulson: I watched you while you were sleeping.

Natasha:  I thought Coulson was going to swoon.  Has he asked you to sign his trading cards yet?  They’re vintage, he’s very proud.

Bruce:  They want me in a submerged pressurized metal container? (sees its actually going to take flight instead) Oh no, this is much worse (in complete sarcasm).

Cap immediately accepting Bruce.

How obviously uncomfortable Bruce is upon first going on the helicarrier surrounded by people.  Such good acting.

Cap: Mr. Stark. Tony: Captain

Fury: Ant, meet boot.

Stark needing entrance music to confront Loki.

The near instant tension between Cap and Tony after capturing Loki.

Loki: I am not overly fond of what follows.

Cap: Stark, we need a plan of attack.  Stark: I have a plan, attack.

Loki: I remember a shadow, living in the shade of your greatness.

Tasha: He’s killed 80 people in two days.  Thor: He’s adopted.

Cap: I knew that reference!

Hill: When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics.  Tony: Last night.

Tony: I am a huge fan of how you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.

Tony: An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not awesome.

Bruce being uncomfortable naming the Hulk and calling him ‘the other guy’

Bruce looking so uncomfortable during the first act of the film

Tony and Cap bringing up phase 2 at the same time in two different ways-- action and intelligence.

Tony: I am sorry Nick, you were lying.

Bruce: I am not leaving just because you get a little twitchy.

Tony: How is this now about me?  Cap: I am sorry, isn’t everything.

Cap: You may not be a threat but you better stop acting like a hero. Tony: Like you?  Everything special about you came out of a bottle. (pretty much this entire conversation)

Cap: put on the suite let’s find out.  Tony: I am not afraid of you old man. (explosion) Cap: Put on the suite.  Tony: Yep.

Cap: It seems to run on some form of electricity.  Tony: Well, you’re not wrong.

Loki: Are you ever not going to fall for that?

Phil: So that’s what it does.

Man: You an alien...no...well, then son you’ve got a condition.

Tony: He wants a monument with his name plastered...son of a bitch.

Thinking he is going to die wants to call and talk to Pepper.

Tony: We have a hulk.

Tony: We may not be able to protect the earth but you can damn well be sure we’ll avenge it.

Cop: Why the hell should I take orders from you.  ( Cap destroys some aliens...cop then immediately obeys orders.)

Bruce: That’s my secret... I am always angry.

That epic Avengers assemble round shot.

Barton not even looking while he makes a kill shot.

Fury: I recognize the council as made a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I’ve elected to ignore it.

Hulk saving Tony

The “A” left on Stark tower.

Avengers Age of Ultron

The reaction of the Avengers when discovering Barton’s family life.

The fact that Barton has a normal family life.

Language.

Please be a secret door...yay!

Tony: Good talk.  Random Hydra Extra: No it wasn’t

The teamwork in the opening scene

I somehow found myself shipping Nat and Bruce.

“A great deal of complaining and tales of torn deltoids.”- Thor

“He’s the boss”- Tony about Cap

“He’s fast and she’s weird” - Maria Hill

“What kind of monster would allow a German scientist to experiment on him in order to protect his country?”- Cap to Hill

“Unlike you, I don’t have a lot of time...will...Thor be there”

Sam: following cold leads on our missing person's case (Bucky).

“He’s also a huge dork...chicks dig that.”- Natasha flirting with Bruce by describing him...then Cap totally shipping them.

Cap: I’ve seen her flirt up close...As may be the world’s leading authority on waiting too long...don’t.  Bruce: What do you mean up close?

The team trying to lift the hammer.

Cap: Together.  Tony: We’ll lose.  Cap: Then we’ll do that together too.

Black Panther references

Tony admitting that watching his friends die is not as bad as watching them die and he doesn’t.

Tony: I cracked into the Pentagon when I was in high school on a dare.

Cap: I really miss the days when the weirdest thing science created was me.

Barton: You’re no match for him, Captain.  Cap:...Thanks, Barton.

Natasha: Cap, keep them occupied.  Cap (out of breath): What do you think I’ve been doing?

Wanda....everything Wanda

Wanda: Ultron can’t tell the difference between saving the world and destroying it; where do you think he gets that?

Vision handing Thor’s hammer to him like its no big deal.

No one listening to Pietro so he comes back with a gun...”get off your asses.”

Cap: You get killed, walk it off....you didn’t finish....what were you napping.

I actually never realized just how snarky Steve is in this movie.

The teamwork between Thor and Cap is awesome.

Wanda’s entrance as an Avenger...YES!!!!!

Cap: We are not clear...we are really not clear.

Pietro: Keep up old man.  Barton: No one would know...no one...last time I saw him Ultron was sitting on him...quick little bastard.

The fact that the above line was improvised by Renner.

Thor:...I am running out of things to say....you ready.

Pietro’s sacrifice. Wanda’s reaction after feeling it.

Barton names his son after both Natasha and Pietro.

Cap and Tony arguing that Vision picking up the hammer doesn’t count...and an elevator is also not worthy.

Wanda: I’ll protect it (looks at Hawkeye). It’s my job.

Vision: He’s right, he hates you the most.

Hulk having an obvious soft spot for Natasha

Natasha opening up to Bruce about her past.

Tony: Like the old man said, together.

Natasha: Still think you’re the only monster?

The whole idea of what makes a monster and how many people view someone else or themselves as a monster is so interesting and play a huge role in characterization.

Steve refusing to leave the flying city as long as there was even one civilian left there... Nat agreeing with him, “There are worse ways to go.”

Fury’s entrance and Steve’s, “Fury, you son of a bitch.”

Avengers Infinity War

Cap’s entrance by walking out of the shadows

Tom Holland’s improvising his death scene.

We don’t want to kill you, but we will.

Earth just lost her best defender.

Wanda being a complete badass-- she literally destroyed a stone with one hand and held off a nearly fully powered Thanos with the other

Caps glorious beard.

“I see you copied my beard.”

Strange seeing only ONE possible win in thousands...then giving up the stone... we’re in the endgame now...it was the only way.

Shuri making Bruce feel like an idiot.

Someone get this man a shield.

Steve and T’Challa running to the front of the battle line.

“I hope they remember you.”

Bucky alive and well

You speak groot...it was an elective.

Bring me Thanos!!! (In fact, the entire scene of Thor arriving to join the fight is cinematic gold)

Thanos on the farm-- yes, let them reiterate he won...like wow... you don’t get that much

What was she doing up there all this time?

“She’s not alone.”

Loki revealing the tessaract...trying to take Thanos on alone...and getting in one last jab with, “You will never be a god.”

Quill attempting to mimic Thor’s voice.

Rabbit

Any interaction between Thor and Rocket

Rocket engaging Thor in a meaningful conversation to comfort him-- such a huge growth is seen in his character.

Quill: What kind of weapon are we talking about here.  Thor: The Thanos killing kind.  Quill: Don’t you think we should all have a weapon like that.

“Stop messaging his muscles.”

Thor: Your bodies crumble as your minds collapse into madness.  Rocket: Is it weird I want to do it even more now?  Thor: A little bit.

Thor: He’s never fought me.  Rocket: Yes he has.  Thor: He’s never fought me twice.

It will kill you.  Thor: Only if I die. 

I’m way past asking for permission.

The 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% you.

Rocket being picked up by Bucky and both continuing to shoot.

Oh, I’ll get that arm.

Thor being heartbreakingly optimistic and hiding his pain behind a smile until Rocket asks, “What if you’re wrong?” and Thor responds, “What more could I lose?” and Rocket’s, “I could lose a lot.”

The snap...”Oh god.”

You should have gone for the head.

You’re an Avenger now.

Peter: I should’ve gone home but it was such a long way down... If anything it’s kind of your fault that I am here. (Tony’s face is great)

Tony: The kid has seen more movies.

Tony and Thanos’ confrontation.

The adults are talking.

Steve giving his all to hold back Thanos with his bare hands and Thanos’ face of momentary confusion that a single man could hold him back even for a second.

My constant wondering what the result would have been if Tony and Cap were together in any of the scenes-- they work best together despite their contrasting personalities.

Doctor Strange

An arrogant man being forced to reconsider his world view and grow

Strange’s reaction to killing a man is perfect for the character but also just great acting from Ben.

Strange being called Master Strange and not wanting the title and being very adamant about not wanting the responsibility

Refusing to kill and being called a coward for it, but refusing to budge from his belief which results in a very interesting and wholly creative end battle... and fully earning and owning the title of Master.

Strange: You lack imagination.  (No you lack a spine).

Dormmamu, I’ve come to bargain.

A hero actually using an infinity stone.

Say what you want about this film but I honestly think it has a great character arc for Strange.

The cloak.

Strange’s jokes.

Strange using astral projection to learn more.

The Incredible Hulk

It was better than the first one...remake it with Mark Ruffalo and we’ll talk.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Soundtrack

Introduction to Star-Lord

The mugshot line up and jailbreak

“You said it yourself bitch, we’re the guardians of the galaxy”

Dance off distraction... also perfect part of his characterization.

Quill trying to get Gamora to join in on the dance off.

The circle moment where Quill first becomes emotionally open and asks for help-- ending with Rocket’s “We’re all standing now.”

Peter coming to terms with his mother’s death as signified by his finally opening her final gift to him.

We are groot.

Rocket’s commentary while on the public while tracking down Quill

Rocket: What’s a Racoon?  Quill: You are stupid.  Rocket: Ain’t no thing like me except me.

Rocket’s bed fur.

Gamora: You must be joking.  Rocket: No I really heard they find you attractive.

Let’s just say I really like Rocket.

Quill: A bomb? And you just leave it laying around? Rocket: I was going to put it in a box.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

The Guardians team...this movie was pretty disappointing in most areas but I did enjoy the interactions among the characters.

Ego brainwashing Quill through so much of the film to convince him that he is above his team and be swayed to Ego’s side

The bodies of Ego’s children reveal

Yondu being revealed to be the hero and the real father figure

You look like Mary Poppins...Is he cool....Yeah... I am Mary Poppins y’all.

Peter’s discovery of the cause of his mother’s death-- that moment is amazing cinema

Ego: You are a god...if you kill me you’ll be just like everyone else.  Quill: What’s so wrong with that? (aka being perfect doesn’t mean shit)

By the end, the Guardians become a family.

Rocket and Yando interaction... they’re both assholes that care.

Rocket’s shock that the colors shined for Yondu in his death... Quill accepting and sharing in Rocket’s pain in that moment.

Spiderman Homecoming

If you’re nothing without the suite then you shouldn’t have it.

The car intense car scene-- amazing cinema there

Peter: Come on Peter...come on, Spiderman. 

Training wheels protocol

If you even cared you’d actually be here.

The adult is talking.

Peter is pretty bad at keeping his secret.

MJ reveal

Peter deciding to continue being the friendly neighborhood Spiderman for a while longer.

Happy having kept a ring on him for years.

Peter speaking revealing he can understand and speak Spanish when the shop keeper talks about Aunt May.

Ant-Man

The father-daughter relationship is adorable.

“I hope you don’t catch him.”

My days of breaking in and stealing shit are done.  What do you want me to do? (I want you to break into a place and steal some shit.)

Scott as a father.

Ant-Man and Wasp

The montage of what Scott does in his spare time while under house arrest.

Again...father/daughter relationship.

The fact that Scott and Paxton go from viewing each other with low opinions in the first movie to seeing each other like family... it's so healthy.

Black Panther

Killmonger’s entrance into the throne room and very nonchalantly stating that he wants the throne before demanding to be asked who he is and letting it rip.  The calm to intense anger is awesome.

This corset is really uncomfortable so can we wrap this up and go home?

What are THOOOSSEE?!

Everyone is shooting at me...wait let me put on my helmet.

Okay...let us just assume most of this list would consist of the wonder that is princess Shuri.

“Americans”

Great another broken white boy for us to fix.

T’Challa’s growth as a character by coming to understand the world differently through Killmonger’s actions.

The fact that T’Challa and Killmonger actually want similar things but come into conflict by their complete opposite ways of going about accomplishing their goal.

Stand up, you are a king.

The fact that T’Challa surrounds himself with females rather than men as his most loyal, fierce, and intelligent people.

Killmonger and T’Challa sharing a sunset and having a moment of understanding before Killmonger’s death.

The truth behind Killmonger’s reasoning and goals.

“Would you kill me, my love?”  “For Wakanda?  Without question.”

You can’t blame me, I almost died.

The moment I believe T’Challa became king: You were wrong! All of you were wrong!  We let the fear of our discovery stop us from doing what is right!

.....I’ll add more, I’ve just been working at it for so long as I rewatched the films I am just posting it now and will add on later

[mrsalwayswrite]

Say You’ll Stay - Chapter 4

Fury/Band of Brothers Crossover Fic

I’m sorry its taken so long to update. The past few weeks have been been rough. Here we are though! Yay! I have the next chapter written so soon as I finish editing it, I’ll post! 

Tag List: @happyveday​ @alwaysindecemberfeels​ @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes​

Series Masterlist // Next chapter

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Don kept his eyes peeled as Fury drove slowly through the small French town. Infantry had already swept through, eliminating most of the German resistance. Now the tanks were following behind, a second wave of force. So far, they had not heard anything that gave indication of Tigers or Panthers but those Nazi bastards were sneaky. Everyone remained on alert. 

 He glanced behind him, the three other tanks following loyally into the subdued firefight. Around them, gunshots were infrequently heard, German stragglers and snipers being taken out. Bodies of Allied soldiers and Nazis were scattered around the town. All in all, it was a fairly mild fight. Don had certainly lived through worse battles with far greater casualties. 

 As they passed through the middle of the town, a flutter of curtains to his left caught his attention. His head swiveled, ready to see a sniper rifle. Instead, white curtains fluttered in the breeze of the open window and the wrinkled face of an elderly woman peeked out, watching them silently. 

 "Omma!" He called out, hoping she spoke German. They were right on the German border so he figured there was a chance. "Irgendwelche Panzer in der Nähe?" (Any tanks around?)

 Her eyes scanned around before meeting his again and shaking her head slowly. 

 He gave a single nod in thanks before speaking into the comms. "Alright fellas, I don't think there are any tanks. Stay alert though. Let's stop here and see where the Captain wants us. Wait for further command."

Fury rolled to a stop along with the three tanks behind them, taking up the center of the town. In another life, the town would have been vibrant with life. Although it seemed to have missed major destruction. The buildings and homes were all still standing without gaping holes or roofs missing. Perhaps since it was so small, it was deemed less important to the Nazis. Lucky for the civilians. 

 Climbing out of the tank, Don leapt to the solid ground below. He passed the tanks as he walked back to the edge of town, knowing the Captain waited on the outskirts. He caught sight of a lieutenant for the infantry and changed direction. The lieutenant was a large man with a thick jaw and deep-set eyes. A long scar cutting across his eyebrow made Don wonder if prior to the war he was a professional boxer or just prone to bar fights. 

 The lieutenant pulled out a carton of cigarettes, popping one between his lips, standing in front of a small church. When he noticed Don approaching, he held out the carton silently.  

 "Thanks." Don took one, quickly lighting in and taking a drag. "You boys have any casualties?"

 "At least four. Few others wounded. Not bad." His voice was rough with a thick New York accent.

 "Not bad." He repeated absent-mindedly, looking over the town. Things were already settling down. 

 A jeep drove up, parking right in front of them with Captain Evans stepping out. "Good work. I want a perimeter around the town for the night. Lieutenant Diggs, chose two squads of men. Sergeant Collier, have Fury and another tank take those men out about three miles to guard the roads leading in, and if you see any retreating Nazis...fucking shoot them. I don't want them coming back."

 "Yes, sir." Both them walked away, ready to follow their orders. 

 "Davis!" Don shouted as he got closer to the line of tanks. "You and Mary Sue follow me. We gotta escort some boys out to the perimeter. Peterson, Binkowski, you each park at an entrance to the town. Let’s roadblock and keep an eye out."

 Confirmation shouts followed him as he climbed back up Fury. Only after he settled in his seat did he give the signal to move. 

 An hour later Fury and Mary Sue returned from their assignment. Don had them parked each at a main entrance to the town near the others. Luckily for them, there were only two roads leading in and out. Two tanks at each entrance seemed intimidating enough and easy to monitor. 

 Finally settled, he turned his comms off so he could talk to his crew. "Alright, you know what to do. If everything doesn't go to shit, let's hope we can sleep indoors again tonight."

 They all clambered out of the tank, breathing in the smoky yet fresh air. Soldiers were walking around following orders or just trying to find somewhere to rest. A few civilians wandered amidst the soldiers, their clothing a beacon amongst the dirty uniforms. The few young women received particular attention and gifts of cigarettes and chocolates. Gordo and Grady would be joining those vying for the women's attention soon. Don could only wish them luck. 

 Stalking through the town, he headed back to the church figuring that was most likely where the Captain was. What he saw standing before the church almost made him stumble.  

 Almost. 

 Captain Evans stood there along with two other soldiers and a middle-aged man dressed in a cassock. He must be the local priest. What startled Don was the petite red-head standing with the group, head swiveling back and forth as she spoke. 

 For fuck’s sake...what was she doing here? 

 "...back into Germany. Only a few were left behind." She said, her soft voice an auditory balm to Don's ear to offset the rough, crude voices war surrounded him with. 

 "Right. Anything else he can tell us?" Captain Evans asked, arms crossed over his chest. He noticed Don approaching and gave him a small nod but kept focused on Anna and the priest. 

 She spoke quickly in French to the Father, who replied back, pushing the glasses back up his flattened nose. While they talked, Don watched her. Her auburn hair was tied back in its bun, a few strands caressing her face. This time she was wearing a gray nurse's uniform instead of the dingy white one he had seen her in prior, the red cross on her sleeve still pointedly visible. Her hands gripped her white apron loosely but bloody stains showed brightly. Had she already been working on the wounded? Did they not have any medics? 

 "He is...most pleased your men liberated the town. No one living here wanted them. They took everything. If there is anything they can do, they want to help." She said after a moment, looking over at the Captain.  "He...he did say there was a building on further down the road that they used frequently and the townsfolk were not allowed in. Those that did, never came back."

 "Mmm...tell him I want him to show us this building." Captain Evans stated then looked at the two lieutenants with him. "Lieutenant Cox, get a squad and go check it out. I doubt there's a damn thing there anymore but maybe the Krauts finally left us something." 

 The lieutenant nodded and waited for Anna to finish speaking with the priest then followed him away.  

 Captain Evans looked down at her. "Nurse Cooper, that'll be all. If I need you again to translate, I'll send for you. I'm sure Medic Hunter would appreciate your help again, eh?"

 "Yes, sir." After a quick glance, meeting Don's eyes, she turned and headed inside the church. Once the door opened, the sound of groans filtered out only to be abruptly cut off when the door shut. 

 "Everything set with your guys?"

 It took Don a moment to realize he was being spoken too. "Yeah, perimeter is set. We'll block the roads so we know what's coming in and out."

 "You think someone here might run and warn the Krauts?"

 "We're close to the border. Someone may have been left as a spy."

 He ran a hand through his greying beard. "Fuck. I hate this shit. Keep your tanks there. Let's get some men to monitor the town. Go on, find some food while you're at it." 

 "Sir." Don started to turn and walk away but a pair of weary, blue eyes and soft voice crossing his mind stopped him. He turned, seeing the captain and lieutenant walking in the opposite direction, and ran a hand through his hair. Later he would berate himself over his actions. Right now, he needed to know.  

 Without thinking further, he turned on his heel and pushed open the door to the church. A heavy weight hung in the air, either the hand of God or the presence of wounded men in pain, Don was not sure. Sunlight streamed through the large glass window above the pulpit, yet it only penetrated so far to push back the dimness that clung eagerly to the sides of the main room. The smell of blood, sweat and piss assaulted him and he wondered how anyone could work continuously in this. Yet it was the scent of war. Hopefully one day it would no longer follow him like a second shadow. 

 His eyes scanned the room before landing on the person he was looking for. Boots pounded on the wooden floor as he walked her way, ignoring the two other medics and several patients spread around the room. Only at the last minute did she turn from counting supplies on a table to look at him. 

 "What are you doing here?" He barked out, harsher than he meant to. 

 She recoiled from him, taking a hesitant step back, blue sapphire eyes wide and mouth dropped slightly. 

 Well now he felt like an asshole. He ran a dirty hand through his hair. "Why aren't you back at the field hospital? It's not safe for you to be here."

 "Believe me,” she sighed, staring at the bandage in her hands, “this isn't where I planned on being. Captain Evans needed another medic and translator, so Doctor Erickson sent me."

 He nodded slowly, unsure what to say. 

 "Is there something you need, Sergeant?" 

 "Where are you sleeping?"

 She glanced around the church then shrugged, going back to her counting. 

 "No," he gripped her upper arm and spun her around to face him fully, "it's not safe here for you. The men have already started drinking and there isn't enough local girls to go around. I don't want them coming and looking for you here."

 "I don't have anywhere else.” She snapped, tugging her arm trying to get it from his grip but unsuccessful. She huffed when realizing he was not letting go, then met his gaze. “Why do you care?"

 Why did he care? That was the question he had been asking himself too. He should not care, she meant nothing to him. That thought sat like acid in his gut though. 

 Slowly, he released her arm, dropping his hand back down to his side. He continued to hold her gaze, wondering what it was about this nurse that prevented him from staying away. 

 "Everything alright here?" 

 Don looked up at the medic walking towards them out of a side door. He had a short beard with thick, unruly, mop of black hair on his head. 

 "Yeah, Joe. Everything is fine. Thank you." She chirped, not moving closer or further from Don. 

 The medic's eyes slid over Don, evaluating.  "Something you need, Sergeant? Otherwise Nurse Cooper needs to get back to work."

 Don held the medic's brown eyes for a moment. He knew from an outside perspective this looked bad. He had not meant to frighten or harm Anna, he just...what did he want? He turned his head down to stare at the petite red-head with eyes like sapphires. He wanted her safe. There was something within him that needed her safe. It made no rational sense. He barely knew her. Yet that did not silence the yearning in his chest. 

 "I'll send Boyd to come get you later." He stated, then turned, his feet moving with determined steps so he could escape the church as fast as possible. 

 Why did it matter? Why did she matter? He had seen other nurses before. Hell, he had been engaged before. This churning in his gut told him to protect her. And if anything war had taught him, it was not to ignore those gut feelings. 

 *****

 There were only a handful of men wounded and thankfully none in a critical state. One of the younger Privates had tripped over his own boots during the assault on the town and landed on his face, somehow breaking his nose and scraping his face up. Overall, it could have been far worse. 

 Anna sat down next to the cot of a Private, a bullet having gone through his leg. Luckily it missed the bone but still left a good-sized hole that took a long time to clean up and stitch. He asked her to hold his hand until the morphine kicked in. No one else was demanding her attention so she gave in, holding the Private's hand who could not be any older than herself. With him finally asleep, she leaned her head back against the wall of the church, closing her eyes. 

 Sleep called to her but she ignored it. There was too much to do. For a peaceful moment though, she could rest. Just for a moment. 

 "You alright there, Anna?" Joe Hunter asked, standing at the end of the make-shift bed. 

 She rapidly blinked her eyes. Had she fallen asleep? "Yeah, I'm fine." Carefully, she released the Private's hand, he only stirred slightly in his morphine-induced sleep, and stood up. She stretched, her back popping at the motion, before moving to stand next to Joe. 

 He was one of the few medics, she had met, who treated nurses with respect and did not ogle them as soon as their backs were turned. Once she asked him about it and was treated to the story of how he met his wife and now she was the only one he looked at like that. No one else could compare to her beauty. From that point on, Anna and Joe had been friends, however much that was possible with a war going on and his company being sent out. 

 "You need to sleep soon."

 She shook her head, even as a yawn split her face in half. "I'm good, for a while longer." 

 "We can handle this." He vaguely gestured to the other medics camped out in the church. As she made no further move, he rolled his eyes then guided her towards the back of the church where they had set up their own personal items. "Arthur is finding food for us currently. You need to sleep... and not a nap holding an wounded boy's hand."

 "Mmm…" She could feel her face warm up at being caught sleeping. 

 The front door opened and they both turned to see who was coming in this late. To her surprise, Boyd walked towards them, hands in his pockets and a small smile on his face. 

 "Something we can do for you?" Joe asked, eyeing the newcomer. 

 "Evening, yeah, I've come to fetch Anna."

 Joe's dark eyebrows rose, his gaze bouncing between Anna and Boyd. "This have something to do with that 

Sergeant?"

 "Boyd, it's ok." She smiled back at him. "Please thank Don for me but I need to stay here to help."

 "No, Don wants you with us. Says it's safer for you."

 "Boyd… I…"

 "You swear to me no one is going to touch her." Joe interrupted, glaring at the gunner. His arms were crossed over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. 

 Boyd nodded. "I'd swear on the Lord's Good Book if you like. I won't let no one hurt her."

 "Good. You make sure she sleeps, you hear?" The lead medic turned to look at Anna's shocked face. "Me and the others will trade off."

 "But I'm not tired…" 

 He laughed. "Your mouth says that but your eyelids keep drooping. Get some sleep. You can relieve me in the morning. Now get."

 She just stared at him, unsure why he was kicking her out. Deep down, she knew she was just nervous to follow Boyd. It felt safer, at least to her, to stay with the field medics and their patients in the church. 

 Joe sighed, rubbing a hand over his face before staring at her, lowering his voice. "You ain't been around for this part after a fight we've won. You've been in a field hospital with other nurses and doctors, security in a sense. Now I'm sure the men have already started drinking and there will be some looking for female company. If the Sergeant's plan is to hide you away till mornin', I agree. I'd planned on keeping a close eye on you tonight but this might be better for everyone. Seems you got more friends than just me here, Anna."

 "If...if you're sure." 

 "Go rest. You look like you ain't slept in a week."

 She rolled her eyes, swatting at him. "You sure know how to compliment a girl, Joe."

 "I'm a little outta practice." He winked then waved her off, heading towards one of the patients who had begun moving in his sleep. 

 Quickly she grabbed her bag with her few personal items in it then followed Boyd out of the church. She had not realized how late it had become. The sun had disappeared, only the last traces of the sunset still giving color to the sky. The moon and few early stars twinkled above. Soldiers and a few civilians walked about but most were off the streets. One of the men they passed called over to her, his voice slurring just enough, but when Boyd pulled her close to his side, the man swore and wandered away. 

 "Um, so...you and the medic… you two...ah…"

 In the faint light she glanced up at Boyd, wondering where he was going with this. "We're just friends. He has a wife back home."

 "Oh, good." He coughed, clearing his throat awkwardly. "That's good."

 "Why?"

 He shrugged, "do you have… someone?"

 She stopped on the side of the street, too tired to try and figure out what he was getting at and why.  "What are you asking?"

 "Doesn't matter. Come on."

 "No, no." She moved in front of him, blocking his way to put a finger on his chest. "Why are you asking me this, Boyd?"

 Looking down for a moment, he shoved his hands in his pockets again before looking at her. "Do I need to worry about someone seeing me put my arm around you, to keep those drunks away, and get the wrong idea then try and shoot me? If so, I'd prefer to know now. I've heard getting shot hurts like hell itself."

 When his words sunk in, she threw back her head and laughed. Christ, how long had it been since she laughed like this? During training? Before D-Day? Before her world was covered in blood and guts and men screaming for their mothers? She could see Boyd chuckling too but most likely at her reaction. 

 "Come on." She slipped her arm through his, wondering why she was so comfortable with him as they started walking again. "No, no husband or fiancé."

 "Uh huh. So, no one is going to shoot me?"

 "Not on my account. Watch out for those Nazis though."

 He bumped her slightly, making her stumble. "Smart-ass."

 "Hey, I'm just looking out for you." She quipped back. 

 They arrived at a small cottage on the main street. She did not get a good look before Boyd pushed her through the door, then again, most of the houses looked similar. 

 Immediately the smell of fresh bread hit her like a punch to the gut. Saliva filled her mouth at the smell alone. When was the last time she had fresh baked bread? It certainly was before she was sent to the front lines. Only minimal lights were on but a lovely fire lit up the fireplace creating a homey feel. It was a balm to her soul. 

 "Evening."

 His voice reminded her she was not alone. Opening her eyes, when had she closed them?, she saw the crew from Fury sprawled around the small living room watching her. 

 "Good evening." She replied to Don, aware of everyone's eyes on her. 

 His eyes roamed over her before he nodded and gestured to an open arm chair. "Sit. She said dinner should be ready soon."

 She did as bid, slipping onto the cushioned seat. It felt like heaven to get off her feet. Between helping Joe and the other medics with the wounded at the church and being a translator for the Captain, it felt like she had been running non-stop all day. She watched the fire, vaguely listening to two of the guys teach the youngest one how to "properly" play poker. Don heckled from the side, sitting in his own cushioned arm chair and smoking. Boyd took a seat near her, shaking his head at the antics of the other before pulling out a book and reading. She assumed it was a Bible since he said he read it often. 

 Not long after, an elderly woman emerged from the kitchen saying dinner was ready. The group moved to the dining table, squeezing in to all fit. Anna sat between Norman and their hostess, happily munching on the fresh bread and devouring the warm, thin soup. She quietly spoke to the woman in French, surprising their hostess who beamed and bombarded her with questions and her own stories. The others asked questions for Anna to translate but mostly left the women alone. After eating, Anna tried to help clean up but was roughly pushed back to the living room with strict orders to rest. 

 Too tired and belly full to fight it, she eased back into the arm chair, watching the fire and listening to those around her. Before she knew it, her eyes drifted closed and sleep overtook her. 

 *****

 Don subtly watched her as she fought sleep, her eyes drifting shut before she snapped them open. Finally, she gave in, her hands tucked under her cheek, curled up impossibly small in the chair. The light from the fire danced over her hair, making it appear a deep red and highlighting the paleness of her skin with the few freckles across her nose and cheeks. 

 "She's single, you know."

 He ignored Boyd's whisper. It did not matter if she was. She was sweet and innocent, the brightest star among the dark night. Once during dinner, the elderly lady had said something, those two whispering back and forth in French, that made Anna begin laughing so hard she covered her face to try and suppress it. He would have given anything to know what made her laugh like that… and try to recreate it. A snort escaped her during the laughing and he found it adorable. Only through sheer willpower did he keep a smile from his own lips, even if he could see small smiles on the others' faces. 

 His initial reason for having her stay with them was just to keep her safe. Now though, she brought a light with her that made him feel human again. It did not go unnoticed how her presence affected the others too. Their shoulders were not sagged so much, their voices not as vile nor complaints as loud. 

 "You can ignore me all you want." Boyd continued whispering, sitting next to his commander and friend, as he openly watched her sleep. "I see how you look at her."

 "You're just seeing things."

 "Am I?"

 Don rubbed a hand over his face, the day's events catching up to him. He needed some shut-eye. Norman was already passed out on the floor, a spare blanket covering him. One of the other rooms had Grady and Gordo in it, both squeezed onto two small single beds. But it was a bed. The hostess had her room, having bid them goodnight after dinner. The last room Don had said was for Anna. It was supposed to be for him but when he saw the room with its lace curtains and flowery bedspread, his mind had gone to Anna. 

 "Should we just leave her there?" Boyd asked. 

 "No… I'll get her." Before Boyd could make another smart remark, Don walked over and gently picked her up, cradling her in his arms. He had expected her to wake up with the movement but to his surprise, all she did was roll her head to lay against his shoulder, releasing a deep sigh. Continuing to ignore his smugly grinning gunner, he walked to the open room and carefully set her on the bed, pulling the bedspread over her. 

 "S'right?" She murmured, voice thick with sleep, her eyes not even open. 

 "Shhh… go to sleep." He lightly stroked her cheek, aware of how intimate the touch was only after his actions. 

 "Mmm…" 

 He waited a moment before a soft snore drifted from her. He needed to leave. Yet watching her with the moonlight peeking through the lace curtains, he could not help but wonder why she was single. She was beautiful, sweet and kind. Any man would be lucky to have her. His mind drifted to an image of him carrying her to bed like he just had but instead of leaving her, he crawled in beside her, pulling her close in their bed in their home. Away from war. The only bloodshed they witnessed was from an accident. The only gunshots heard were from if he decided to go hunting. Peace would surround them like a warm blanket. 

 He shook the image away before it could sink its tendrils too deeply into his mind. He was not a good man. He would never deserve someone like her. He had a woman once and he would always carry her death on his soul. 

 Quietly, he closed the door behind him, leaving her and his thoughts behind. Lighting a cigarette, he stepped outside, hoping the cool air would settle his nerves. He needed to focus on keeping his crew alive, on surviving this goddamn war. If he kept an eye on her, made sure she was safe and taken care of, that was just him adding her to his crew. Same thing he would do for his men. That was all it would be. 

[bexterbex]

A Soul to Mend His Own | Ch. 77

Warning, PLEASE CHECK TAGS IF YOU SEE SOMETHING YOU DON’T WANT TO READ THEN DON’T READ. | Tag lists are closed | INBOX OPEN

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Will tag as I go along, Will update tags, Slow Burn, Influenced by Star Trek and other Sci-Fi themes, References to We Happy Few, Tons of References and quotes to George Orwells 1984 see if you can find them all, The First Order is the new Big Brother,  but who is really surprised, Blatant Nazi Symbolism, Interrogation Themes, Eventual Smut, Eventual Romance, Really just drawn out Slow Burn, Don’t repost without permission, Torture themes, Suggestive Themes, Execution themes, Disturbing Themes, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Controlling Kylo Ren, Physical Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kylo Ren is Not Nice, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Possessive Kylo Ren, A character shamelessly based on Zelda

A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–

He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?

MASTERLIST

Chapter 77: Attack Dog

Kylo eventually brought you both back to the bed, your evening of lovemaking taking a toll on your energy. You were laying on his chest once more, a much more intimate sleeping position than you were used to, but seeing as many things had changed in the last 24 hours it was nothing new. “So, now that I am officially Empress, I feel different.”

Kylo glanced down at you, hand rubbing your bare back. “You are a different person now, the same in many ways, but different. So far I’ve seen you more sure of yourself if our lovemaking had anything to say. I would also say you take less shit, in general. You are now an Empress, and not so much my little Kitten anymore.”

You considered his words and his observation carefully, “Mmm yes, I guess I am more of a lioness now, but you can still call me Kitten when we are alone, especially when the beast is to come out.” You saw his pupils dilate with arousal at the mention of the beast, something he so desperately wanted to become again.

You shook your head knowing the question he wanted to ask., “No not tonight, I still need to be able to function tomorrow. When you return from your first mission, you can let the beast out but only when I tell you to. Do you understand?” You knew you would have to send him out into the universe away from you but you knew he would return to you.

He nodded, you could tell that he was still thinking about it as he licked and chewed on his bottom lip. The beast lingering below the surface.

“Tomorrow I will need my guard dog on his best behavior, we will be meeting with the Final Order High Command along with the First Order High Command. Seeing what our objectives are when it comes to defeating the Resistance.” You felt him shift underneath you. In his eyes, you could tell that it was his desire to please you, please his Empress by doing a good job. He was a guard dog ready for the order to attack. “Let us try to relax, we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow, and we have already exerted ourselves.”

He seemed to hum in agreement. You could feel the energy of the Force wrap around you, this time with a caress instead of a threat. It felt comforting knowing that all of him wanted you there with him at that moment. It didn’t take long for both of you to drift off into sleep while still entangled in each other, as one whole soul.

Your dream was different tonight, much different from when you first met your protective match. You were now with him, happily, near your throne. You were wearing a beautiful gown, and he was in his armor, but he didn’t seem scary. You were walking hand in hand as you walked away from your throne, a lazy sort of walk that meant you had nowhere to be. You were taking the lead as you two walked, but his body seemed relaxed in your presence as you came to a beautiful garden. That was alive, and full of greenery and running water. A little bit of paradise, you two seemed to not be bothered by any of the staff or guards that seemed to be present, along the edges of the dream world. It was like you two were left alone to your own little happy bubble. A place where you two could be one, without the interference of others.

As you came upon a large beautiful fountain in the middle of the garden space you and he sat along its edge. He removed his helmet without word or command. Losing his important piece of armor to look at you, his Empress. In the dream, you held hands and kissed sweetly, until you felt that familiar pressure behind your ear.

You woke up to being attacked with feather-light kisses, “I thought Kylo Ren wasn’t sweet.”

The kisses continued as he responded. “He isn’t but he does know how to worship his Empress. A loyal guard dog is loyal to his master.” His voice was laced with hunger, but you didn’t have time for that.

You took his head in your hands bringing his face to yours, “Now, now there will be playtime later, but now you and I must get ready for battle.” This caused a different type of spark to appear in his eyes, one that thirsted for violence.  One that would allow him to be not only your guard dog but your attack dog. A weapon of destruction that only obeyed you.

You got up from the bed and headed into your dressing room, where you called upon your ladies-in-waiting. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, the woman before you was much like Kylo said, more sure of herself and taking no shit. Confident, powerful, and badass were how you felt. Unfortunately, it took Kylo breaking your mind for you to fully see and accept the positive sides of yourself. You were an Empress, soon to be an Empress of the entire galaxy if Kylo had any say. You were about to rule over the greatest dominion that anyone has ever seen and you were living for it.

Adlez and Olivia-Rose entered and took an immediate evaluation of you. They weren’t allowed to take care of you when you got back, and that always seemed to worry them. They saw you several times a day, checked in on you personally, making sure you were still in one piece, and if not it was their job to put you back together.

Adlez eyed you with suspicion, “Something seems different.” It was more of an observation than a question. She took hold of your hair.

You lifted your chin to her, a signal of authority,  “It is, we now have an army to defeat the Resistance and the New Republic once and for all. We will bring order to the galaxy, and today I want my looks to reflect that.” You meant business today, whether she liked it or not.

Olivia-Rose seemed intimidated by this new declaration. Both of you had never been in any sort of galactic war before, your planet Earth being kept out of it for millennia.

“I am an Empress and I would like to look like one from here on out, nothing less, is that understood?” You were now taking command, usually, you let Adlez engage in the decision making, following her lead, but now you were going to be making all the choices, going with your gut feelings.

They got you ready in record time, both of them stayed rather silent throughout the rest of the morning, Adlez giving you looks here and there. Breakfast was a quick affair once you sent off your staff to do various projects, only Mitaka was to be with you for the rest of the day.

Kylo returned to your chambers only to escort you to your meeting, where you would be making final battle plans with your new combined High Command. You hadn’t decided on whether or not to keep the name First Order or to change it to the Final Order, both had their strengths and weaknesses in the name alone.  

You entered the room, all eyes on you faces you recognize and those you did not. You were in full command of an army, almost the entire galaxy, and the large room reflected it. The table felt as if you were in some sort of fantasy movie with its size, but that didn’t matter, what mattered was that you were now about to send out a full-fledged assault against the enemy. But you watched as the officials in the Final Order seemed to want to disregard your position as their eyes followed Kylo as he stalked around the room. A guard dog at the ready, one who refused to sit.

“Do we have a problem ladies and gentlemen? I know I am not the person you wished to become Emperor, rather Empress of the Final Order, of the Sith Eternal, but I am.” You spoke to those on your left, on your right was your trusty First Order High Command, along with Phasma and Pyre.

An older gentleman spoke up, “No, we will follow you, Empress. We just have the belief that the Sith should carry on.” His eyes and emotions seemed guarded. But his eyes flickered back to the large black creature you called your husband.

“Ah, I see. He was supposed to finish the ritual and become a Sith Lord was he not?” You glanced at your husband briefly, his body ready for a fight, before you turned back to the older general.

A female general spoke up this time, “He was. Now we have no Sith leader.” This was something that seemed to affect all the Final Order High Command.

You regarded this statement, “He could still turn into a Sith if he so chooses.” You wanted it to be his choice though, you knew very little about the ways of the Force and how it works and what the Jedi and Sith meant. You trusted that Kylo would make the right decision for himself.

Before your lovely guard dog could respond, Pryde spoke up, “Or you could have a child that would be.” His words made your blood boil and caused ice to shoot up your veins. Now was your chance.

“Ah, now Pryde? What was the rule that was made about that particular thing, Hmm? Not to comment on mine and Ren’s love life? I think you have violated that, wouldn’t you agree, Lord Ren?” You called him Lord Ren as he was technically no longer the Supreme Leader of the First Order, you were the one in command, you were the Empress.

Kylo’s lightsaber ignited in its glorious red fury, cackling and hissing at the opportunity that awaited it like it was a living being. Kylo drew close to the general whose eyes were wide with fear. Pryde wasn’t looking at you, where he should be, no, his eyes were focused on the deadly weapon in front of him. But Kylo looked to you, and you responded with a small, barely noticeable nod. And in an instant, Pryde was no longer a problem for you.

You could see Kylo shaking with excitement. This was the first time you had commanded him to use his weapon for you, for him to be your proper attack guard dog. You could feel the waves of pleasure through the static of the Force that he seemed to be generating around you, encapsulating you in a protective bubble. No longer were there dangerous mindless tendrils, now it was his pure energy and emotion as it surrounded you, making you aware of how he was feeling. You could feel a mix of pride, arousal, and hunger for power in his Force energy.

“Now that the trash is taken out shall we move on to our next tactic? I would like to capture as much of the Resistance as possible.” You felt smug, and you could see that this pleased the Sith Eternal, to watch your attack dog slay someone so easily. It seemed like a treat for them. One of the Final Order generals asked, “May I ask why Empress?” You knew among the most dedicated in most military regimes that being captured was the worst position someone could be in. There was honor in dying for your cause, but living and giving secrets made you the worst enemy possible.

You stared down your nose at him. Your body glowed with confidence. “I have my reasoning. I would like to see many of their leaders face to face before they end up meeting my husband’s blade. Is that too difficult general?”

You could see the nervousness in his face, he did not want to meet the fiery blade himself. “No, Empress it is not. We shall capture the leaders of the Resistance and kill the rest?”

You were pleased with his weakness of will against you, his desire to please.“Yes, that should be all. The new Chancellor Armitage Hux will go over the final battle plans with you all. I must prepare my best weapon.”

Hux regarded your statement with some minor glee on his face, you could tell he was holding it in. You just gave him a huge promotion. Something that after you conquer the galaxy, you could properly celebrate. But for now, you were off to war.

Kylo followed you out into the empty side hallway. No one wanted to stick around for very long while he wore his helmet and was now representing his title of Jedi Killer.

You ordered, “Helmet off.” He obliged, and it fell carelessly to the floor, making a loud thud sound that both of you ignored. You just gazed into his dark eyes that were hungry and waiting for you to give your orders.

“I will have two of the knights with me, unfortunately, Phasma and Pyre will be sent out along with the rest of the forces, but I will remain on this side of the galaxy safe, and out of harm's way.” Your hand stroked down the front of his chest, you could feel the tension that was building within him, he wanted to fight, but he also wanted to stay behind and protect. “You will do well, I will be safe. I need you to fight for me, I need my big scary attack dog on the front lines, slicing through our enemies. Do you think you can do that? Because when you return if you are successful I will have a treat for you.”

His breathing was deep and quick, holding back his lust for you at that moment, knowing that you needed him to be an attack dog in this moment, not your lover. All he could do was nod again, words lost to the mind of the beast. But he couldn’t help himself from placing a hand on your hip and kissing you quickly, holding back all of his need for you, for just one kiss.

You understood that you needed him to move quickly, “Go now, prepare to leave with the others. I want you personally to bring me the leaders of the Resistance. I want them to know fear, I want them to believe that I will show them mercy. I want them to have hope in that I will release them, let them go, but you and I both know that won’t happen. I want to crush all hopes of future rebellion from this galaxy.”

Kylo nodded quickly and swooped down to grab his helmet, but before he placed it back on his head he kissed you, “I will not fail you.” And just like that, he was down the hall with his black cape swooshing around him, like some sort of demon hell-bent on bringing destruction to the galaxy. Which wasn’t far off of what he would be doing. This was the official start and end of the war.

A/N: Insert “Dig Dong the Witch is Dead” song from the Wizard of Oz here. Pryde finally be dead y’all. And now to star/finish a war. 

[arcticdementor]

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I feel like 2020 has scoured me from the inside out. I swear this year is at least a thousand years as experienced. The person who started this year was tired, a little down. My rights being caught in the maw of a very bad contract and the company not deigning to respond to my requests for reversal were part of it. The rest was the toll of 10+ years of severe illness. You can fix it, and I’d been fixing it for the last three or four, but the scars remain. In my mid to late fifties I’m not as flexible and do not heal as fast. And I was tired.

Which of course is why looking back I smile at the earnest naivete of that summer child. Because since then I’ve seen my country put under house arrest, its citizens stripped of the rights that were the very reason of the founding. I’ve seen dubiously elected governors and mayors clamp down on the citizens who pay taxes, while freeing the criminals and letting the ferals run rampant. I’ve seen the deliberate destruction of the best nation on Earth, mankinds last and best hope.

And our internal traitors, knowing and unknowing (a lot of them are just being mean girls because it’s fun and it’s always worked before. The same with virtue signaling. And many are doing it because they’re afraid) have turned the right into painted devils, while unleashing destruction on us.

…

Even if our courts — snort — and our judges — snort giggle — manage to find a shred of non-corruption, we are what is technically known as “fucked.” Because the media is busily convincing our dunderheads and assholes that Trump is a dictator, who will take power by force, which this win will “sort of kind of” give the appearance of, while in fact their steal is the real grab, combined with destroying our elections forever.

The enemy is within the walls, and worse, it is in a position of command.

…

But it puts us in a pickle, because our mentally deficient would-be elites will destroy us without even realizing they’re doing it, and will do anything to keep the fact they’re massively corrupt and hypocritical hidden.

That’s what they have on all the tech lords, and btw, I suspect it’s why they hate Trump so much. His peccadilloes are banal and almost endearing compared to the raw moral sewage of the Bidens, the Obamas, the Clintons, and let’s not even think of what Harris has in her closet, if what’s known is that she climbed up in the world by sucking cock. So he didn’t fall into the trap. Which means the entrapped ones hate him even more.

But even with the BEST intent in the world, and if they weren’t in China’s pay and employ (they are) these people would kill us all, because they have no idea how the western economy works, or how free people work.

I’m not actually making this up, please believe me, I’m as serious as I can be: They will start with an engineered famine, but they have no clue how any of this works, and before they are done, people will die for other reasons and of other things or what makes this country live and thrive. If they get full control, within two years, I suspect more than half of America will be dead. Mind you, they might not manage it. None of their plans work as planned, because they’re not good at people and specifically they’re not food at America. But the unintentional destruction — though in spots — will be at least as bad as the intentional.

So we need to fight back. More specifically, I need to fight back.

Look, guys, I know this makes no sense whatsoever, and is not objectively true, but I’m broken in very specific ways. One of those is that in this type of situation I feel guilty for it having happened at all, like I should have prevented it. And I feel responsible for protecting everyone in its path. Which is …. on its face insane.

I bet a lot of you, by nature or training sheep dogs are feeling the same. We know what we are. We’re not good people. Frankly, we’d rather eat the flock, and be muzzle-deep in blood.

But we or something in us knows better. Something in us chose to harness the predator to defend the flock. It’s our flock. And though the predator still howls for blood, it’s wolf blood.

And we’ve been tearing ourselves apart since the lockdown happened, because we sensed the wolves rounding in that move. We sensed the threat to the flock. But we had no idea how to fix it, how to protect “ours.”

…

When we think about it, we think in terms of the fourth box. Because we’re Americans, and we have the power.

But the fourth box is not the only box. And if used, it catapults us into a completely different world. More importantly, it’s not up to any of us to start. It will start — or not — at some point, at some flare instance. What I’m afraid of is that those are being “spiked” somehow.

And the sheepdogs are going crazy. The smell the wolf and they can do nothing.

I woke up this morning thinking of Poland. When they’d had enough, the communists were brought down with a general strike.

Um…. Sure. UNTOLD damage and pain. But guys, less than where we’re headed with or without the fourth box.

To work it would need to be like the tea party. I don’t know how to do that. But I know some people reached by this do. They were part of and instrumental in the tea party.

And as horrible as a general strike is, it’s better than slavery to China, or CWII and better than the utter destruction of our republic and its institutions. If done, it should be done for two things “A stop on the infringement on our constitutional liberties, no matter if in the name of a virus. And a new election, free and fair. One day, purple fingers, in person, with ID. AND the ballots counted in front of everyone who desires to attend. By hand. No shenanigans.”

…

And in that spirit, there’s things you each can do to turn this around. They’re smaller, they take a long time, and each of you will have very little impact. Some of you will recoil from them, because they imply fighting in our own circle, and some of you will scream “we become like them.” No. We do not. This is defensive. Shooting at those who are shooting at you is not “you become like them.” It’s defensive. This is the same. If we don’t do this, they WILL win, because they’re attacking and we’re not defending.

Will it tarnish your soul? Likely. All war does, whether lethal or not. But we didn’t choose this. We’re under attack from an enemy without who has activated an enemy within. And we have to win this. We have to win it for us, for the free men and women in the world. Or we all live under the boot of China, who make Nazi Germany seem cuddly and gentle (Note to the inevitable idiots: and yes, they were pretty horrible monsters.)

So, operation Swamp Fox (a) because an American Hero b) because we’re fighting the swamp).

I’m going to give you the basics. You’re my people. you’ll improvise, innovate and imagine new ways to make things work, ways I never even thought about. So the basic maneuvers (and you’ll need to dislocate your mind a little to do some of them.)

1- Tit for tat Many of you work embedded in the liberal world. You know what these people think of us, and how they behave if they have a chance to get back at us, including a million little acts of sabotage and defiance. Well? Tit for tat. If there’s a way you can make the life of your liberal co-worker a living hell, sabotage their career, make them feel incompetent? Start now. IF you can do it without it coming back on you, do it. And do it as hard and as often as you can. “But they’re a good person” you’ll say. Oh, are they? What would they do to YOU if they knew your politics and had the chance? That’s all we’re asking for. Tit for tat. What this will do: make the organization shakier; make the leftists anywhere come across as putzes (they sabotage, belittle, etc. any out conservative which is how they’ve managed to project that “conservatives are not very smart or creative.” This is JUST pay back.); put them on edge so they make mistakes, and make themselves seem less competent. If we have to do this for four years it’s going to hurt like a mother, but we’ll make sure it hurts them more.

2- Be the Uber Karen What is that I hear? Oh, yes. You see…. Karens don’t follow their own rules very well. Have you considered walking up to the mask police and LOUDLY telling them they’re wearing their mask wrong? Same with ANY liberal you know to be so in public. MAKE them live by their rules. While you’re at it, make them live by ALL their rules. They’re writing a letter? Well, using paper is Chinese appropriation! They’re doing/wearing something sourced to another continent? Come down on them like a ton of bricks on the flimsiest excuse. They drive a car? Oh, dear. What about global warming? They have kids? But the OVERPOPULATION! Chase them around and preach their own gospel at them at the most inconvenient and bizarre times. Publicly. Loudly. What this does: the stupider ones will crack. The brighter ones might end up red pilled. 3- Bangs arm on chest “He’s OUR leader.” Go on and on about the wonderfulness of your local petty tyrant, and how they totally deserve to get the best. And how great was it — tee-he — that the election was rigged, uh? Those votes just pulled from under the table in Atlanta! (Eyes wide with admiration) There’s even video! How great is it that now our great leaders will have power forever? Notice Obama is in charge again? That’s what I mean. Isn’t it wonderful? Look at all the HEALING he managed in his time. Etc. Be as fullsome as you can. What it does: those with a shred of humanity will revolt inside and eventually it will bring them around. This works best if you are under deep cover. Seriously. They won’t know what hit them.

4- Be the ditsy aunt

This also only works if you’re deep under cover, but find all the things they don’t want the rank and file to know, and say them, with the deepest and greatest possible approval. Hunter Biden’s laptop? “Well, of course it’s true, but the media was so right in covering it up. The poor poor boy. Very difficult, all those addictions, and of course Joe took what payments he could from where he could. The poor boy needed help.” “China is so wonderful. They control their population. Oh, sure they have camps, but really, if they need to reduce population, how else to do it?”

5- NOT ONE red cent I confess my dad is responsible for this. When he turned eighty and retired he announced “My life is too short to read communists.” This one is the one that will hurt most of us. We have gotten used to consuming entertainment from the assholes. Because for a while it was all you could get. It’s time to cut back. And I feel like a total hypocrite saying this, because I read from Amazon and sell on Amazon. But I’m not saying to do it in everything, only where you have a choice. If you have a choice of whom to do business with, do it with people you know to be conservatives. Grow our own. The reason we don’t have money on the right is that asymmetrical economic warfare has been waged on our people for decades. It’s time to return fire. If you have a chance, buy from your own, and give breaks to your own. One easy thing you can do, on Amazon even, is read your own, and as much as you can avoid things from China. Starve the beast.

6- Make connections. Find the other conservatives in your circles. Make connections. This might be needed in the future. In fact, it will probably be. I don’t need to explain how or why, right?

7- Make them live up to their claimed ideals. This can be used even if the liberal is your nearest and dearest. You might think it makes no difference but a comment like “How very Hitlerian of you!” when they talk about punishing political opponents or how some people are inherently bad from birth can fester and eventually bring about a crisis of conscience. And hell, it’s worth a try.

Now go and make with it. And spread the idea to anyone you can trust. The effect of one of us doing it is minimal (though often satisfying, particularly tit for tat) but the effect of all of us doing it, much less anyone else, will be noticeable and leave a mark. And maybe weaken their position until those bigger than us take action.

[baileymarie1793]

“Welcome to the Boys Club”

First and foremost, happy International Women’s Day!

Due to the occasion, I’m going to finally get this off my chest... Just a fair warning: I have been contemplating this post for more than a year. I’ve been trying to find the right time and the right words to say. I think I’ve finally found them.

I’ve never really referred to myself as a feminist, though I’ve always had strong opinions about gender equality. This is mostly due to the fact that the feminist label has often been misconstrued as “men-hating femi-nazis.” Don’t pretend you don’t know exactly what I mean by that either.

However, the real definition of feminism is quite literally “the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of equality of the sexes.” THAT I fully stand for.

Now, this post is not meant to bask in the unfairness of being female or to completely overlook the progress that has been made over the years - though let’s not forget that we’re not even a century removed from women earning the right to vote - but rather, to point out why advocating for equality (especially in the workplace) is STILL necessary.

These are my experiences as a young female working in the journalism industry:

Let me begin by pointing out that these are only a select few of my personal experiences in my particular career field - but that doesn’t mean that things like this don’t happen to others like me in other fields.

Straight out of college I began working for a TV news station as a “photographer.” This title is misleading, though, as I was really a videographer. I covered my own stories, interviewed people, helped write script, shared it all on social media and posted it on the web. I’d create full TV packages that were aired without ever seeing my face. I was what you called “behind the scenes.” My boss was male. All my “photographer” coworkers were male except one. When I joined the staff as the only other female photographer she happily accepted me, saying “welcome to the boys club.” I didn’t think much of it at the time - but now, it has stuck with me.

I never gave it much thought about being only one of two female photographers at the station - let alone one of only a handful in all of the stations in our market and state. I was also the only female photographer that regularly covered sports in our market - aside from our female sports anchor at the time. The majority of my male coworkers and counterparts at other stations befriended me, shared jokes and advice, and overall treated me no differently than they would anyone else. For that, I’m grateful. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t encounter otherwise.

In one instance, I was set to cover a story about an archeological dig. I set about my assignment as I would any other. I spent more than an hour interviewing participants, videoing their progress and pubbing the story to social media. I returned to the station and produced a package on the event and went about the rest of my day. My boss asked if he could speak with me about the story - which was also not an irregular occurrence. He would routinely sit down with photographers at the station to assess things they did well with their stories and other things they could improve on.

But this time was different.

My boss and I rewatched my piece and at the end, he looked at me and said, “do you know what could have made this better?” I responded with some shot ideas and sequencing variations among other suggestions, but he shook his head and said, “It would have been better if you had worn pants.”

Yes. You read that correctly. 

I was a little taken aback by the comment. I was raised to dress for the job you want - and at the time I had aspirations to be in front of the camera, not behind it. I routinely wore dresses, skirts and blouses to work. Nothing scandalous. Always business appropriate and almost always with closed-toed shoes, as that was a requirement directly from my boss. I felt I was dressed in preparation to look professional on behalf of the station to those I encountered when covering stories. I had never had complaints from upper managers or HR. I had never run into issues covering anything from football to traffic accidents to shootings to weather. 

My boss looked at me and said, “If you had worn pants, you would have been able to get down on your hands and knees in the dirt and really take the viewer into this archeological dig with you. You would have been able to get down into that pit and get in close.”

I was dumbfounded. Just because I wore a skirt did not prevent me from getting in the dirt, nor did it prevent me from accurately covering the event. (However, regardless of how I dressed, I was not permitted to get into the archeological dig pit period.)

I politely informed my boss of these facts. However, it did not change his mind. And it never did through to my leaving the station. 

This is just one incident.

While at this same job, I had the “pleasure” of covering the 2016 election. As someone living and working in a swing state, it was extensive coverage, to say the least. 

On one occasion, I was slated to travel to the state capital to cover a town hall campaign event for one of the vice presidential candidates. 

Now mind you, as a photographer I was trained to use and operate live trucks and live shot equipment. Meaning, those great big trucks with the big towers on top that stretch up into the sky with all the cable and such - yeah, I drove them and ran them.

I arrived at the campaign event several hours early, which is common. The secret service typically allows media outlets a one hour window to set up their equipment before the venue is shut down for a security sweep. If your large equipment is not there in that window of time, you’re usually not permitted to bring it in later - at least, not without a ton of hassle. 

I arrived early and parked my large truck beside the curb in a prime spot to begin pulling yards of cable into the venue. I was moving equipment into the auditorium in shifts when I walked back toward the live truck to find another photographer waiting for me. This photographer was from the largest station in the capital’s market. He yelled out to me before I could make it back to him, saying, “Hey lady, are you a part of this station? Where’s your photog at? I need him to move his truck.”

I politely informed him that I was the photographer and this was my truck and I was not moving as I had arrived early to park in this space. He looked appalled and said, “since when do they allow women to drive live trucks?”

Without batting an eye, I replied, “Since now AND I do it in heels.” 

I continued to carry in equipment and pull cable into the venue. I never moved my truck. I never made eye contact or spoke with him again. He stood there, mouth agape for at least a minute before he moved on in a huff.

These are just two small run-ins I had while working at the station... but it didn’t stop there. It continued into my next job.

After more than a year working in the TV news industry, I decided to leave. I changed jobs for many reasons, but that’s not the point of this post... Regardless, I continued my journalism career as a multimedia reporter for a local newspaper. 

I’ve had the pleasure of meeting with elected officials from all levels of government, teachers, coaches, students, activists, and general residents. I’ve been met with professionalism, respect and occasional appreciation and admiration. That’s part of what makes the job truly rewarding.

However, sexism still happens.

At the paper, it hasn’t come in the form of nasty social media comments or disrespectful interviews. It has come in the form of “good-intentioned” comments from higher-ups in the company.

It’s important to note that we are currently in the midst of another wave of the feminist movement. We’re in the era of the Women’s March and #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns, with female inequalities such as the gender pay gap and sexual harassment and assault taking the forefront. 

Comments and behaviors that used to be ignored, dismissed or overlooked are now being addressed and reprimanded. And I’m convinced that a lot of men are taken aback by the shift in change. Sexist commentary that were once dismissed as “jokes” are now being pointed out and rebuked in the open - igniting a new trend in what should be considered “normal” behavior among colleagues. 

But although this change is beginning to take place, that doesn’t mean it has fully transitioned yet. 

A new female employee was recently hired by our company. And let’s just be honest, she is a beautiful woman. There is nothing wrong with having good looks - however, that does not stand as a free pass for inappropriate comments.

Recently, several male managers made a trip from their headquarters to pay our paper a visit - most specifically to meet the new employee but also to check on the status of things at our different offices. A female coworker and I spent the morning tidying up the office and getting our work done ahead of time to prepare for their visit - unsure of how long they may stay and how it might derail a typical day’s work.

The group arrived after lunch, a loud gathering of about five men in our office lobby talking sports and swapping jokes. None of them asked about the state of the paper. None of them bothered to talk business. 

They stayed for less than a half hour, talking amongst each other, then when they readied to leave, they offered an odd farewell: “we hear guys will be hanging around here a lot - y’all be good and stay out of trouble.”

They laughed, repeating the phrase as they waved and headed out the door. It’s important to note that one of these men is the company’s HR manager.

What was that statement supposed to mean? 

There were no congratulations for a job well done or offered assistance for any work-related difficulties. Just a lobby full of sports talk and a dismissive “y’all be good” due to “boys hanging around,” as if we were pieces of meat on display for dogs to walk by and select for their pleasure.

I have spoken about these incidents to close family and friends. And there has been one overwhelming resonating response: “that’s just the way things are.”

But WHY? It’s doesn’t have to be. These types of occurrences should NOT be normalized. They should NOT continue. 

I am not here demanding immediate change - but I am begging for more respect when males address females. That is NOT too much to ask.

In the year 2018, I was hoping I shouldn’t have to state that women are more than objects to be viewed by the male gaze... but here we are.

My hopes on this International Women’s Day and all days going forward are for positive, gender equalizing changes... For being treated with respect for my work ethic and not just my looks... For equal pay for equal work... For not being complimented just for beauty but applauded for being strong.

If that makes me a feminist, then so be it.

[ausaplenty]

Toy soldier

Kiara Scuro. Alexa Myers. Howard Stark. Gilbert Mead. Captain America AU.

Kiara fidgeted in her costume under Alexa’s scrutiny. The brunette’s brow furrowed as a scowl spread across her face.

“What,” she hissed, “is that?”

“It’s my costume. You saw it in Azzano,” the captain explained, feeling even more ridiculous than she had the first few times she’d stood on stage.

She felt like a stupid pin-up girl, waiting for the soldiers to throw tomatoes at her.

“You wore it on stage. I didn’t think they’d be idiotic enough to send you into war in it,” Lexie snapped as she crossed her arms.

Kiara patted her chest. “It’s reinforced with something to make it harder for the bullets to go through.”

“Oh good. So they put that damned target there deliberately.”

The blonde glanced down at the red star splayed across the bright blue hue of her uniform.

“Well, if I can survive a bullet better than you and the others, why shouldn’t they aim at me?” Kiara shrugged.

Alexa’s face darkened.

“We’re going to see Stark,” she announced as she turned on her heel and stalked out of the room Kiara had been assigned. The blonde followed, caught in awe.

Lexie was rarely the one going to pick fights. She went in Kiara’s wake, waiting to see where she could intervene. The times where their roles were reversed were few.

“Stark!” The telepath called, striding through the rows of supplies and weapons.

There was a clang, a quiet curse, and Stark appeared, his sleeves pushed past his elbows. “I’m busy!”

“Not at this moment,” Alexa informed him tersely. She gestured to the suit, to Kiara trailing behind her. “Did you have a say in this?”

“Just with making sure she wouldn’t turn into a colander during her first fire fight,” he told her as he leaned against a work table. Kiara rolled her eyes at the way Stark’s gaze assessed her best friend. No doubt he was imagining her as one of his models.

“And how often do you intend to replace it? Because She is sure as hell going to piss off a lot of Nazi.”

Kiara opened her mouth to argue, but Lexie silenced her with a look.

“They’re sending us to remote locations, are you going to tag along with replacements? You don’t seem the type to go traipsing behind enemy lines,” the telepath continued. “A Hydra sniper is going to take one look at her and start shooting till she falls down.”

She stepped closer, her voice low. “How will you find your answers if the experiment is gone?”

Kiara didn’t think she was meant to hear. She wouldn’t have used to, when fevers had dampened her ability.

Alexa glanced back at her, her face softening.

The blonde wasn’t offended. After the Vita Ray, she’d gotten used to being seen as government property. A way to raise money. A way to unlock the secrets of the serum.

Croft and Lexie were the only people who say her as something more.

“What if we changed it slightly – nothing major, just darken it and change the star,” Kiara suggested, tired of being ignored.

“And less red,” Alexa added, her eyes a little dark. “I need to be able to tell when she’s bleeding.”

“Colonel Phillips won’t like it,” Stark mused, sounding vaguely intrigued by the idea. “I haven’t seen him riled up since Cap marched hundreds of soldiers back into camp.”

The man had turned an awful shade of red. Kiara had seen him in a tizzy since then, but Stark hadn’t been there – Kiara had a way of pissing the colonel off that Lexie said was authority figure’s innate response to the blonde.

“Fine, I’ll do it. Just give me some time to figure somethings out,” the inventor relented. “Anything I should know so you don’t come barging into my workshop again?”

“I just want a hood,” Kiara stated.

“How reinforced can you make this thing? Because Kiara gets into a lot of fights,” Alexa pressed, arching her brow.

When they left, Alexa satisfied that Stark had understood her, the brunette knocked her shoulder against Kiara. “Don’t do that again.”

The blonde frowned. “What’d I do?”

“You’re not property. You’re not America’s toy soldier, easily disposable. You’re Kiara,” Alexa chastised. “There’s enough people trying to kill you out here, don’t let Uncle Sam be one of them.”

~*~

“Captain?”

Kiara braced herself as she turned toward the voice. “Yes?”

“My name is Agent Gilbert Mead, Director Morpheus sent me to escort you and get you geared up,” the freckled man with a mop of blond hair explained. “Make sure the new uniform fits.”

“New?” Kiara’s skin prickled at the thought. She’d seen Iron Man in his flashy suit.

Mead seemed to notice. “Nothing drastic. Just aesthetic changes and security enhancement – Make it so it can withstand a stronger beating.”

He gestured for her to follow him through the halls lined with florescent lights.

Kiara tugged her hood lower as she obeyed.

“Do I seem like I get into a lot of fights, Agent?” the super soldier said wryly.

“With all due respect, ma’am – I idolized Captain America and the Howling Commandos when I was growing up, and I’m something of a collector,” her escort informed her with a small smile.

Kiara froze. “I hear they had trading cards.”

“I have the entire collection and several duplicates of Alexa Myers. She was my favorite,” he explained.

She smiled sadly.

“But that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I did my research. All the Howling Commandos reports, post-war interviews. I even got the chance to hear Dum Dum Dugan speak while I was in high school.” Agent Mead’s warm brown eyes twinkled. “He called you a holy terror for the U.S. Army. Talked about the early days in England, when he got a week of cigarette rations because of a bet.”

“Did he mention he’d lost a pack two weeks earlier?” To Lexie. Who took perverse delight in never smoking them. Just kept them sitting in her pocket, taunting Dum Dum. She’d called a lesson, to never bet against Kiara.

“He did not,” he laughed as he opened a door with a code. “This room has been designated for you specifically, because of your needs.”

Kiara stared at the suit, gently backlit so the navy blue uniform stood out. It wasn’t as bulky as her old one had been, and the stripes around her abdomen were missing. She pressed her hand against the white star, flanked by two horizontal lines on either side.

“For a while, we were in possession of Howard Stark’s notes and research. I found reference to an incident where Alexa and you apparently disturbed him enough that he took very detailed references to what Alexa didn’t want in a uniform.” Mead tapped the uniform with his knuckles. “I wouldn’t want to go against her wishes.”

The captain sucked in a breath.

“Thank you,” she murmured.

The agent smiled. “The suit can be changed after the mission, if you’d like. I can show you my collection and you can tell me about Alexa.”

“I’d like that,” Kiara told him.

Later, Kiara stared at the bloodied cards Director Morpheus tossed in front of her – Alexa Myers’s haunted figure stained crimson.

“Agent Mead had these with him. I guess he wanted to show them to you,” the one-eyed man told her.

Kiara didn’t change the suit.

~*~

Kiara curled against Alexa, their fingers entwined.

“I’m tired,” the super soldier murmured, her eyes meeting Alexa’s.

“I know.”

Of course Lexie knew. She knew everything, quietly lending strength to the blonde.

“Ryan said you’d retired during the Snap,” Alexa said with a pointed glance. “I think he knows better.”

“Captain America retired, except for major crises,” the blonde explained, closing her eyes. “I traveled around after Thor killed Thanos, making sure people weren’t being preyed on. I tried therapy, organizing a support group, moving on –“

Alexa snorted. “As somebody who spent a few years running from you, I don’t imagine that went well.”

“I’m going to leave it to Jake.”

The telepath knew she meant more than the therapy. She squeezed Kiara’s hand comfortingly.

“I’m so tired of fighting, Lexie, of being a symbol and not a person,” the blonde whispered, softly crying. “And I can still help, but I don’t want to spend my days waiting for the next fight. I’m tired of wearing the uniform. I’m tired so many things but, most of all, I’m tired of losing you.”

“Kiara.” Lexie brushed the hair away from Kiara’s face and wiped a tear away with the pad of her right thumb. “Nobody will blame you for wanting to be you. You’ve been Captain America for so long or trying to straddle the border, but it’s time to be you.”

She pressed her forehead against the blonde’s. “You can give Jake the shield, we can get away. The world will get used to a new Captain America.”

Modern Design

WW2 Design

Initial Design

[adavalenkova]

The Muse’s Profile - Carter (Supernatural OC)

Fandoms

Supernatural (main)

From Dusk Till Dawn

Atomic Blonde

The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

General

Name: Ada Carter-Trevelyan

(Formal English: Lady Ada Trevelyan)

(Formal Russian: Ada Erastovna Valenkova)

Goes by: Dr Carter

Title: Baroness Trevelyan, a minor aristocrat owning a small estate in Porthzennor, Cornwall, encompassing a stately home and a lighthouse. Other assets on the land, including a farm and a tin mine, were sold off in the 1890s to cover the family’s debts. The family acquired the double barrelled surname, Carter-Trevelyan, around this time, after marrying into a wealthy merchant family to avoid losing the estate entirely.

Born: August 1st 1924, in a lighthouse near St Ives, Cornwall

Species: human/zombie

Age at time of story: 92

Apparent age: 43

Relationships

Parents: Marian Elizabeth Carter-Trevelyan, Erast Nikolaievich Valenkov

Other notable family: Lord Arthur Percival Carter-Trevelyan, grandfather, Irene and Varya Stepanova, cousins

Romantic interests: Ketch, though “romantic” is debatable

Sexual interests: Ketch

Friendships: none, though she develops some degree of platonic affection for Dean

Allies: Dean, though somewhat shakily. Ketch, even moreso.

Enemies: Alastair, somewhat, though she generally takes a neutral stance on demons; the Thule Society

Appearance

Hair: black, generally kept long but with an undercut to disguise the bald patches resulting from radiation poisoning

Eyes: grey

Complexion: pale, freckles

Markings: several scars covering most of her back and chest, with scar tissue replacing her left nipple, white scar tissue on her left upper arm, frequent bruises and puncture marks on her inner elbows that have variable rates of healing, left ring finger is slightly crooked following a broken knuckle

Height: 5’8”

Weight: 130lb

Build: toned, but almost sickly thin due to the effects of radiation sickness, small chest and narrow hips that give her an almost “boyish” shape

Tastes

Attire: casual, typically jeans/tank tops/combat boots, favors black

Drives: black Jeep Renegade, later a black Chevrolet Colorado

Music: Celtic/folk, classical, swing, hard rock, also very fond of Vera Lynn

Food: can taste very little due to nerve damage, only able to taste hot food such as chillis or curry

Drink (soft): coffee, but has to be strong and black for her to taste it, able to taste tea with a preference for Yorkshire Gold

Drink (alcoholic): Stolichnaya vodka, sometimes Glenfiddich Scotch

Colors: black, navy, hunter green

Hobbies (rarely practiced anymore): playing piano, boxing, fencing, hunting, horse riding, Cossack dancing (from her father), old time dancing (from her mother)

Hobbies (still practiced): shooting, open water swimming, reading

Likes: living in America, the seaside, and anything that makes her nostalgic for her childhood

Dislikes: sex, though she does like the power play of it; hypocritically, posh or upper class elites; taking orders; socialising; any of the organisations she used to work for, such as MI6, the BMoL, or the CIA; basically, anything that reminds her of the parts of her past she’s ashamed of

Skills

Former profession: lighthouse keeper, spy (WWII and Cold War), medical student

Current profession: demon doctor, alchemist

Practical skills: traditional boxing, horse riding and hunting (learned from her father), fencing, hand-to-hand combat, ranged weapons, sharpshooting, combat medicine, Western medicine (specialising in cardiology), Middle German and English alchemy, medicinal alchemy, torture

Language skills: fluent in English, Russian and German, conversational in Dutch and French, knows a small amount of Cornish

Preferred weapons: fists, knuckle dusters, handguns in combat. For torture, she’s master of the scalpel.

Special abilities: above average strength as a result of the formula, accelerated healing, immunity to almost all diseases

Personality

Traits: cynical, threatening and sarcastic with a dry sense of humor, she can be arrogant and frequently overestimates her own abilities, with terrible consequences. She projects an image of being cold and uncaring, but on occasion her inner feelings of compassion and affection inadvertently show through. Once established, those feelings are often intense and set in stone.

Qualities: assertive, confident, loyal, perceptive, smart, resilient, unprejudiced, principled, fair

Flaws: abrasive, complacent, jealous, vindictive, wrathful, selfish, cruel, manipulative, often fails to meet her own moral standards

Strengths: her intellect, physical strength and skills, excellent poker face, strategic ability, and good judgment of character

Weaknesses: arrogance, complacency, reluctance to admit her own vulnerabilities, easily manipulated once those vulnerabilities are found, emotional dishonesty, sometimes cowardice

Morality: she believes torture is justified in the case of a) punishing terrible people, or b) serving the greater good, though it isn’t clear how much she truly subscribes to this belief at heart. As of the 21st century, she chooses to harvest blood from demons so as to avoid torturing humans unless absolutely necessary. Her personal philosophy is that the worst of humanity is worse than any monster, and includes herself in that as having the capacity to do terrible things.

Fears: her own past

Triggers: corkscrews, the specific phrase “Was ist dein name?”

Religious views: none

Political affiliation: after benefitting greatly from Nye Bevan’s NHS following the war but suffering under a communist regime while undercover in the USSR, she leans cautiously left, though politics has little direct effect on her anymore

Alignment: true neutral, leaning good/evil or lawful/chaotic at different times in her life

Sexual orientation: asexual, but with a Machiavellian attitude towards sex where she views it as a game for power rather than a pursuit for pleasure

History

Her father was a Russian Cossack who fled to England following the revolution, being wanted by the Bolsheviks for trying (and failing) to defend the life of a Russian aristocrat. The aristocrat in question (having married into the Russian aristocracy) was the niece of an English Baron and retired naval captain who owned land in Cornwall, who agreed to take in Erast and permitted him to live in the lighthouse on his land as a gesture of gratitude after hearing his story.

The Baron’s daughter, politically active suffragette Marian Carter-Trevelyan, eventually fell in love with Erast and the pair married in July 1923, with Ada arriving a year later.

Baron Trevelyan was also active in the House of Lords, a keen alchemist, and member of the Men of Letters, who taught Ada much of what she knows about alchemy and the supernatural growing up. During the war, he sat on the government’s secret occult war council and recommended his granddaughter for a role spying on the Nazis - a private education had ensured her fluency in German and several other vital skills. Ada trained with the WAAF and underwent special training between 1939 and 1941 before airdropping into Frankfurt, along with an American agent, Roland Jefferson, at age 17.

Ada worked as a spy for the Allies during WWII to sabotage the Nazis’ occult program, where the Thule tried to develop a formula that would render their soldiers immortal based on an alchemical recipe from the 1500s.

Ada’s cover was blown in 1944 following a Russian telegram sent with a compromised encryption (suspected sabotage). She was imprisoned and tortured for several months, before escaping with the help of the Dutch resistance shortly before VE Day. The medieval text containing the alchemical recipe was brought back to England and placed in the custody of the Men of Letters.

During her absence, Baron Trevelyan was killed during the Blitz in 1942 when a bomb landed on the Men of Letters’ HQ. Her parents, after traveling to London to retrieve the body, were also caught in a bombing raid and killed less than a week later. Ada returned to England to find almost her entire family dead, the exceptions being her housekeeper, Mrs Hogarth, and the family cat, Grigory.

For a time after the war, Ada attended medical school before being asked to return to work for MI6 against the Russians. Part of this work involved torturing enemy agents, where she used her advanced knowledge of human anatomy to devastating effect.

Later, during the Cold War while undercover in Siberia, Ada suffered acute radiation poisoning from close proximity to a nuclear test site. She was, at this time, 43. While dying she used the Nazis’ formula combined with her blood to preserve her own life, albeit it in a “zombie-like” state - this was the first successful implementation of the formula, which sustains her to this day.

The active ingredient in the formula - the blood of someone in excruciating pain - she now supplies by performing surgery and medical enhancement procedures on demons in exchange for a fee, benefiting both parties. (For example, medical or alchemical enhancements granting demons certain abilities, powers, or immunities, requiring a painful procedure that allows Ada (now going by only the name ‘Carter’) to harvest the blood. Carter doesn’t disclose this, but rather charges for her services.)

After hearing about her in passing from Crowley, Dean approached her to help deal with his health issues that arose after being stabbed by Metatron and from the Mark of Cain.

Later, Dean reached out to Carter again to help find Kelly Kline and deliver her nephilim child. Instead, Arthur Ketch got to her first and prevented this, though the two struck up an unusual alliance in the process.