#whats the point of being that outwardly preachy

[ssaltlicker]

Man aggretsukos ending was underwhelming.

[whats-it-mean]

hii im a tsumugi lover and ive spent a LOTTT of time analyzing switch as a whole so i think i might be able to provide some insight?

tsumugis a sad character, not even just during the war but now as well. hes suicidal, even to the point that he makes comments about it, and natsume and sora themselves have also pointed it out. he believes that his death will atone for what he did to people during the war

tsumugis interesting because of his mentality about the war. he regrets what he did, and he wish he didnt do it not because of morality issues, but because he regrets hurting the people he hurt. tsumugi only ever really wanted to be friends with people. thats why he was the leader of fine (despite eichi being the person behind it) it was because he had a lot of positive connections. even his role in fine was just because of the fact that he was ‘friends’ with eichi and wanted to help him with what he needed. thats why when eichi said he would be dismissed it hurt for him so badly, he realized that eichi never really thought of him the same way.

even so, switchs story is a story of moving on from the past and growing together, and i feel like a lot of people resonate with that. or it might just be because tsumugis a fun character? i dont know i just really like him. anyways sorry if this was kinda preachy i just love talking about tsumugi (and switch as a whole!!! im actually mostly sorap)

((CW this post will mention suicide and mental health struggles))

...o. okay i did not know that he was suicidal-

i think when it comes to reading through stories i'm so used to dismissing mentions of death because "hahah a game like this would never actually outwardly say anything like that", which is probably mostly influenced by the way project sekai beats around the bush so much when talking about mafuyu, so... in hind sight, holy shit the boy needs a therapist-

I think most of the reason i was so salty about him was how the anime portrayed his 'regret'??? like- I watched the anime first because for a while i wasn't able to download the game, and in the anime i feel like it's much less explained that he regrets what happened and more just says he'll do better in the future, which is much less satisfying

but thank you because this cleared up a LOT for me. Again i think most of my opinion was based on how the anime portrayed it, but all this makes sense and i can certainly see why people love him so much

I just woke up and still don't have the braincells to form my own coherent opinion, and since im biased as hell towards the eccentrics im still iffy on him, but this is still incredibly helpful to hear

[oraganji]

I like this idea: mc went to nekoma and dated kuroo but they broke up when he went to collage. In the time skip, she is the other owner of bouncing ball with Kenma (like she is rich rich and successful). After not seeing each other for a while, during an event were the main character looks hella good, the confess they have feelings for each other. Like a bit angsty but at the end super happy. This is my literal dream life.

oh my god I love this

We're both living in this dream world, anon, really.

I changed this a little so the reader isn't with bouncing ball, but she's still hella rich. She's a lawyer, cause we love an intelligent woman. Also that's totally my dream life, and life should be about yourself.

Sorry that was really preachy, but one more thing. (Y/N) is totally confident here (as we all should be) because once again, this is a dream life, and I would love to be that confident.

Okokok here's the thing now:

How Are You This Evening?

Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x fem!reader

Word count: ~ 1500 i think

Summary: Basically what the ask says

A/N: Why am I posting at 11:00 PM.

You have been cordially invited…

Great, another event. When you first started out, you really didn’t expect that you would get to attend so many events. Most people aren’t excited about having to hire a lawyer, but the perks were nice, you supposed. The downside to getting invited to so many events, however, was that after a while, you wouldn’t really refer to receiving the invitation as a privilege anymore. In fact, the stiff banter and small talk went against your personality entirely.

This particular event however, was a fundraiser for the Japan Volleyball Association. You had an odd relationship with the sport. You remembered all of your friends during high school who were on the volleyball team. You fondly thought of the crowded gym, and the cheers of the crowd whenever Nekoma High scored a point. You remembered celebrating the team’s victories, and showering your boyfriend, Kuroo, in as much affection as possible.

Well, your ex-boyfriend.

Kuroo.

The memories you made with him were also the reason why you couldn’t stand to enjoy volleyball anymore. It sounded petty, but volleyball was a big part of Kuroo’s life, and he was a big part of your life.

That is, until Nekoma’s most popular couple broke it off. You suppose it made sense. Kuroo was going off to a different college than you were, and long-distance relationships aren’t exactly famous for their success. But still, it broke your heart in a way that you still hadn’t recovered from, several years later.

However, recently, you learned to suck it up and do your job. The Volleyball Association had hired you to sort out issues with certain players’ contracts. And then they called you back again multiple times, which eventually developed into an almost-partnership with the Association. The invitations to these fundraisers were bound to arrive at some point.

You stood in front of the mirror, putting on gold hoop earrings to complete your outfit. You went with a particularly low-cut pastel pink pant suit, with the gold jewelry to match, and your hair in a half updo. The whole outfit had cost quite a bit, but hey, the benefits of being a big shot lawyer were no joke. Even you had to admit that the clothes flattered you, and you looked both formal and professional.

When you settled into your car, you had to take a deep breath. Big events were never really your style, although your confidence never wavered in these settings.

It’s only for a few hours. Then you can go back to doing whatever the hell you want, (Y/N).

Damn. This fundraiser was huge. It was hosted in a lavish hotel, and you were internally gawking at the decorations and the extremely appetizing food the entire time. Outwardly, you were making small talk with different guests, whose names you would definitely not remember later. On your way to greet one of the only familiar faces at this event, you spotted a familiar head of spiky hair.

You let out a disbelieving chuckle. It can’t be him, lots of people have messy hair, right?

“Oh! You must be the lawyer that this Association loves so much!” A voice pulled you from your thoughts. You snuck one last glance at the back of this mystery man, before shaking your head and turning to the guest currently speaking to you.

“I guess that’s one way to put it! My name is (Y/N) (L/N), you are?”

Unbeknownst to you, Kuroo Tetsuro had seen you too. He turned as soon as he heard your familiar laugh, one that he spent much of high school fawning over. When he turned to look for you though, he saw a beautiful and poised woman, and he was immediately reminded of you when he knew you all those years ago.

Kuroo was a confident man, but in this moment he found his mind in a flurry, too nervous to even walk up to you. Any confidence he had left disappeared when he saw you throw your head back in polite laughter. He was overwhelmed by how good you looked, by the sound of your voice, he was simply overcome by you.

“How are you this evening, (Y/N)?”

You immediately stiffened, and closed your eyes. That voice. You hadn’t heard that voice since it said five words that shattered your heart.

“We need to break up.”

“Wh-what?”

Your normally collected personality immediately cracked. You’d had nightmares about Tetsuro saying this to you, but now it was actually happening.

“Um…” You sniffled, “Wh-why do you want to break up? Did I do something?”

Kuroo rushed to try and calm you down.

“No! No, you didn’t do anything. It’s just… well we’re going to different colleges, and the long distance probably won’t work for that long. Believe me (Y/N), I love you more than you could ever know. I don’t want to hurt any more than I have to, and continuing this relationship while being apart for so long would hurt you and me so much.”

“So? What, you decide to break up with me? Like that’s not going to hurt me either? Relationships are a two-way street Tetsuro! If you love me as much as you say, how much do you think I love you?”

“I-I’m sorry (Y/N),” He let out a heavy sigh. “But this is probably for the best,” You were both crying now, tears steadily streaming down your faces.

He took a step towards you and gently cradled your face with his hands. Kuroo lent forward and gently pressed his lips with yours. The kiss was bittersweet and slow, both of you knowing it was probably your last kiss with each other.

You gently pulled away, and searched his eyes desperately, hoping that this was just another nightmare, and you would wake up in Kuroo’s embrace, admiring his sleeping form as he pulled you closer to him.

But that didn’t happen.

You stood up straight, lifted your chin and steeled your gaze. You said your next words with faked determination, internally screaming.

“You know what Kuroo, you can’t say that it probably won’t work. If you’re not going to be sure about something, then I will. I don’t want you to come crawling back to me,” please come back to me. “I don’t want to see you again, or talk to you again,” a lie. “Don’t come back later and tell me that you made a mistake,” please do that, please do exactly that!

You turned around quickly, and tried to walk away bravely, while the tears didn’t stop flowing the entire time.

“I thought I told you not to talk to me again, Kuroo-san.”

Kuroo let out a nervous chuckle, and rubbed the back of his neck.

“We’re on a last name basis now? Well alright, let me start over then. How are you this evening, (L/N)-sama?”

“How am I doing this evening? How about you ask me how I’ve been doing since high school, since you broke my heart?”

Kuroo let out a sigh, his eyes glued to the floor, posture hunched from the guilt and immense regret he was feeling.

“You’re right. I never should have broken up with you. I know that I’m doing everything you told me not to, but it’s the truth (Y/N)-chan, it really is.”

You turned around and finally faced the man that had occupied your mind since high school. Any words you were about to say died in your mouth as you stared at him.

“Wel-, You-... Well I’m doing well this evening.”

“I can tell. You… You look incredible.”

“Thank you. Um… you don’t look half-bad yourself,” You said with a sad smile.

Kuroo let out a small laugh, and looked at you with the love and admiration you missed for so long. The anger and resentment you harbored in yourself for so long suddenly seemed irrelevant.

“Listen…” he started. “I’m sorr-”

He was cut off by your lips smashing against his. He froze for a second, and then immediately melted into your kiss. This was the exact reason you tried to avoid him. You loved Kuroo too much to stay angry while facing him. You both poured all of your hidden feelings and unsaid words into the kiss. You pulled away, breathless, and a bit mystified.

You loved him. You still loved him. And you would still travel to the moon and back to be with him. You stared at Kuroo with wide eyes as this realization hit you.

“I forgive you,” you said, still breathless. “In case you couldn’t tell.”

Tetsuro stared at you, eyes widened in shock. “I’ve had dreams that started like this, how do I know this is real?”

You lightly smacked his head, a watery laugh leaving your lips.

“Yep. This is definitely real. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that laugh of yours, (Y/N)-chan?” Tetsuro smiled brightly, circling his arms around your waist.

“Not as long as I’ve been waiting for you Tetsu. Not as long as I’ve waited for this.”

[astrlovegy]

Rising Signs

Aries Risings -They have an air of confidence and self-sufficiency about them. Bold, independent and brave. However, this strong exterior makes people assume that they don’t need any help. They can be intimidating, and in a work-environment they are take-charge people and that’s why they are seen as cocky. Known to be ambitious and can accomplish much at a younge age. They can be competitive, or at the very least they like winning. Might despise people who possess libra qualities such as someone flaky, indecisive, and complacent. They enjoy living life with a certain level of impulsivity. AKA they don’t like to schedule anything ahead of time because they want to keep their day open. They follow their gut to make good choices. People can falsely accuse the Aries rising of not being deep, but they don’t see what’s going on beneath the surface

Virgo Rising- These people project themselves to be capable and put-together. Often holding themselves to a standard of perfection. Virgo Risings usually come across as nervous and reserved. They may suffer from anxiety. Their mercury influence gives them a twinkle in their eyes, and they can look quite youthful and have a freshness about them. They’re also judgmental and critical of others, but the truth is that they judge themselves the most. They may find they always need to have a plan for everything, and they pride themselves on always delivering high-quality work. Enjoy being involved in jobs and activities where there are clear directions to follow or a blueprint to gather inspiration from. Virgo Risings are helpers! People often come to them for advice because they seem so put-together. But, they spend so much time working and helping others, that their own needs are put on the backburner. A Virgo Rising with a lighter sun sign usually appears to be innocent and kind. A Virgo Rising with a more serious sun sign would be seen as more judgemental, but still kind. No matter what their style, it will always look detailed and has a thoughtfulness about it. You wouldn’t usually catch this rising sign wearing last minute outfit-choices. They are also extremely fearful of messing up, so they use their intellect to make sure that never happens. This placement likes to hide how hard they work for their success, and would rather let everyone believe it comes easily.

Sagittarius Risings-  Stereotypically known as the “luckiest” rising sign, the sagittarius rising is vibrant, bright, and optimistic. They may seem to get excited very easily, and come across as high-energy individuals. Always down to go on an adventure and elevate their soul-knowledge.This rising sign gives a lighter touch to any chart. Something worth noting about them are the big plans they have for themselves. They don’t shy away from dreaming big, and their optimism gives them a reason to push forward. They always look for a silver lining in even the worst situations. The Sagittarius Rising is characterized by their strong beliefs. These people have a strong moral code, as well as firm personal opinions and ideas. Open-minded and inquisitive, they've always sought higher knowledge. However, they can become too arrogant about their intellect, and falsely believe that they're always right. Also prone to being a bit “preachy” and trying to force their ideas on other people. This rising sign looks at the world with rose-colored glasses, and will always try and look for the best in others. They have a kindly demeanor, and inherently don’t want to hurt anyone. Due to their strong sense of right and wrong, they can be highly sensitive to the idea of “doing wrong”. This means that they may hold off on committing themselves to serious relationships, or deep connections with others. Something that they may hide is their relationship with religion. Most Sagittarius risings will be well-versed in many types of religious and spiritual topics. This placement indicates someone who will always have a belief in something.

Scorpio Rising- The Scorpio Rising elicits a strong response from everybody. You can’t be neutral about a Scorpio Rising, you have a firm and strong opinion about them. They have a quiet confidence, and will make themselves purposefully hard to get to know. They only talk to people they truly vibe with and enjoy the company of. Something about this person is mysterious and alluring which makes people want to get to know them. When they talk, people listen. It’s obvious when a Scorpio Rising doesn’t want to be your friend, because it’ll be like you don’t even exist to them. However if they like you, it can feel intoxicating and overwhelming, you’re special to them. This person is good at withholding information and will only tell you things they want you to know. They are protective of their inner selves, but insatiably curious about knowing other people inside and out. The Scorpio Rising will be drawn to people who they believe can see through their mask, who won’t be intimidated and will tell them the things other people might be scared too. I’d caution against getting on a Scorpio Risings bad side because they never let go of grudges and usually aren’t above getting their revenge.

Libra Rising- Libra Risings are friendly, peaceful, and approachable. They can talk with all types of people because they will want to make sure the other person is comfortable. They won’t ever be the person that offended you or was rude to you when you first met them. They treat everyone with equal respect while also respecting themselves. Because many Libra Risings refrain from saying anything that could be offensive, they hold their opinions to themselves to make everyone happy. Their gift is found in their ability to accommodate anybody. They can be quiet and cordial one moment, and outgoing the next. It depends on who they’re speaking with. They put careful thought into their appearance as well. Their Venusian energy makes them very attractive, but they could find that people fall in love with who they appear to be, rather than who they actually are. They like to be nice to everyone and hate starting arguments for unnecessary reasons. Most Libra Risings won’t speak outwardly bad about anyone if it means it’ll start a conflict. If you have a Libra rising, it means that you always want to present the most likable version of yourself. Even if your chart is more introverted, when given the opportunity you’ll appear sociable and cordial.

Leo Rising- Leo risings are very bright and vibrant people. As young children, they probably liked to perform shows or dress up for their parents and family members. They have an innate desire to make something of themselves and be a leader in whatever area they work in. They like expressing themselves creatively and are very much into the idea of “creating” and will be highly motivated towards their goals. Prone to being over dramatic, a Leo Rising usually acts in an animated manner. They work best in environments where they are praised and given adequate affection, or else they could shut down from everyone. They can be secretive and distrusting of others, and loyalty means everything to them. Overall, the Leo rising appears to others as confident and charming people who stand out brightly among others.

Capricorn Rising- Capricorn risings will appear to be serious and responsible on first impression. Generally, in school they appeared to be good students and did not disrupt the class or enrage the teacher. They move through life in a strategic manner and will only commit themselves to something that will make sense and reward them in the future. This rising sign is also prone to constantly doubting themselves and their abilities. They dream of big success, but constantly feel as though it won't happen for them. This leads them to play it safe and work as hard as possible in the hopes that eventually they'll be rewarded. Despite the rest of their chart, they seem to others as responsible and conscientious people, even if they aren't always this way. This rising sign is one of the hardest to get past, it will take a while to see beneath someone's Capricorn Rising.

Aquarius Rising-  When someone has an Aquarius Rising they will appear kind, sociable, and intelligent. Many of them have a unique sense of style. Even if they don't particularly dress differently, they will still fiercely protect their individuality. They usually have a lot of friends but are loners at heart. They might notice that their friends are always changing and that new people come and go. Aquarius Risings will do things because they want to do them, not due to any outside influence. More guarded than many of the other rising signs, they trust slowly but steadily. Also very observant, they are talented at reasoning and working out solutions to problems. They have strong opinions and are prone to loud debates which can be seen as them forcing their point of view on others.  Aquarius Risings look towards the bigger picture and dream of a better future. Many Aquarius Risings will actively work towards this reality as well.

Gemini Rising-  The Gemini Rising will give off the air of someone bubbly and kind. Skilled communicators, they’re extremely good at coming off in a sweet and approachable manner. They like to be on good terms with everyone they know, and they're often skilled at getting other people to like them. These people have infectious laughs and big smiles. It's common for a Gemini Rising to change the way they act around different people. It's done in good fun and because they know how to accentuate the many different sides of their personalities. People may detect a restlessness and nervousness about you with a Gemini Rising as well. Awkwardness is a possibility, but in a fun and endearing sense. Your mind is sharp and quick, and your conversation skills are expertly honed. A Gemini Rising likely makes many friends wherever they go.

Taurus Rising- Taurus Risings will seem to be very polite and chill people. They like to keep themselves looking nice and enjoy the finer things in life. Many with this rising sign are more introverted, and they choose their friends wisely. These are strong people and seem to have their feet firmly planted on the ground and a good head on their shoulders. Many Taurus risings are also stubborn and will speak up when they know they're right, and they're not the type to back down. They are devoted lovers and could have high standards for their romantic partners. They possess the willpower to work hard for their success and for this reason many Taurus Risings are successful. When people are around them they make others feel warm and peaceful, their presence is comforting. Many Taurus Risings need to have some sort of routine and consistency set up in their lives to feel at peace. Many people will agree that they seem to be reliable and dependable people. 

Pisces Risings- Pisces risings will appear to be innocent and mesmerizing. May also seem mysterious and otherworldly to onlookers which attracts many people to them. They don't seem to be of this world. Their facial expressions can also often be hard to read. Pisces Risings usually have amazing imaginations and will be interested in artistic pursuits. They can appear as though they don't care much for the physical world and to some people seem disorganized and messy. They are good at sensing energy in their environment and may find that they morph into whatever energy is present around them. As a result of their neptunium dreaminess, many people assume that the Pisces Rising has a perfect life, people's perceptions of them can be far from the truth. They are truly empathetic to the suffering of others and possess the ability to believe and love anyone. They sense energies which is why it’s important they don’t get caught up with people with negative or overpowering energy. 

Cancer Risings-  Cancer Risings have a shy and quiet demeanor at first glance. Many have a guarded demeanor and may find that they retreat when hurt, confused, or uncertain. Many Cancer Risings have a close bond with their mothers, family, and friends. They need their home life to be comfortable and relaxing. In work life however, Cancer Risings are prone to constant shifts and changes. Cancer risings can appear to get flustered and uncomfortable easily. These people often seem sweet and innocent, and have a nurturing presence about them. A Cancer Rising will either seem to be warmhearted and approachable, or they could have built a wall around themselves in order to seem unwelcoming. They seem like family oriented and traditional people, which is why they could attract partners with the same morals.

[tossertozier]

you mentioned possibly doing a ben or mike writing guide.. would you.. be willing to post a mike one. i'm plotting a fic and im struggling to get my mans down?? also i think abt ur fics weekly bare minimum.

hi there!!! i did my best. i tried to not sound preachy or like a know it all bc y’all know i can barely write. i hope this is helpful in some way!! disclaimer of of course this is all just my opinion & there’s no wrong way to write, you’re the only person who can tell your story!!

[[MORE]]

i think the first really important decision you have to make as Person Writing Mike is his

family & background

-are both of his parents alive?

-if yes, what’s their relationship like?

-if no, who’s his primary caretaker? what’s their relationship like?

-if no, when did they die? did he cope well with it? what’s his relationship with their memory like?

these are really really where you gotta start to write mike imo. or any character! i think one thing stephen king is to be admired for is he doesn’t neglect the parent-child relationship as so many people who write youth do. your parents are the most important people in your life for a long time. i don’t think there’s a wrong or ooc way to answer the above questions tbh. canon has really left a wide open field for you to run amuck in.

(example: i’ve mentioned in the past that my & tfat mike being a small adult is no mistake and intentional. it’s a bit of a throwaway scene, but i mention in on pointe that mike’s parents are coming. it’s intentionally done there too. mike is goofier, more outgoing, more immature in general in that fic in the small bits he’s in & that’s all a response to his familial life. )

culture + friendships

after you answer those questions, important follow up questions are:

-are the losers his first set of friends?

-how much social exposure has he had?

-has he dated? who is he attracted to?

-who influences him? (celebrities, family, culturally)

-what are his cultural interests? what does he do in his free time? how would that impact how he interacts with the rest of the world?

again, no wrong way to answer these. i’ve seen a super broad spectrum of indirect answers to these questions. even thinking about where he might pick up patterns of speech can make him feel much more like a realized character. i’ve noticed some people dip fully into aave to an extent that doesn’t even seem logical in their character’s current situation & it can really seem like a caricature, but i think to write mike without any sense of aave at all is a little ?? too. just be cognizant of it is my only real advice here. it doesn’t so much matter as long as you don’t forget who mike is which next point

humor & personality

-what do you think he would find (shows, comedians, youtube videos) really funny?

-does he have something he quotes often? something he started saying ironically but never stopped?

man i know i’m all there’s no wrong way to write mike !! in this post but i will say real quick that i think mike is funny and i don’t really respect depictions of him where he’s not. i think this is where the movies really just fucked up. book mike drops some of the funniest lines of the book. and honest to god tip is to write out a scene as you feel the urge too, look away for five minutes, look back and give half of richie’s lines away. (or... dialogue.) this sounds like a joke but it was what i did when i first started writing & tfat

i’d always be like “n the funny part goes... to richie.” and thats a fandom inclination too. nooooo. avoid this trap. it doesn’t even make sense. have u ever been in a friend group where only one person... makes jokes? that’d be genuinely so weird. especially bc if you give the joke away to someone else, you can also build on it. amazing things start happening when u start thinking of the characters in flexible patterns. like for example, i almost always give absurdist humor to stan now. wholesome to ben.

mike’s humor is largely situational to me. solid comedic timing & he’s an observant person. sometimes i read back my own writing & have to change the pov bc richies making jokes about things he would never ever notice to make fun of. mike would. mike genuinely sees all. i think he’s just got one of the most analytical brain of the losers. & i think intelligence is subjective and people are smart in different ways but i think it’s foolish to write him as anything other than incredibly intelligent both academically and emotionally. he’s just a natural observer and pattern notice-er. which brings me to my next mike thing:

love & selflessness

i think the biggest part of mike being harder to flesh into a fully realized person is the fandom tendency to make him kind and nothing else. here’s mike. he’s nice. next. bc the book kind of points out his selflessness in his decisions and it makes itself one of his strongest character traits.

especially bc nice seems to trump him having any other emotions. ...no?

i believe in general, but ESPECIALLY in the case of mike, that kindness is a choice. it’s one i genuinely believe he’d make, over & over again. but a choice he makes. he gets annoyed with his friends being annoying like anyone else would. he gets hurt when he feels left out. he feels tired & anxious & hungry and all those other human things. sometimes he might not let it show outwardly, but there’s a difference between that and not giving him feelings at all.

people are selfish. it’s a defense mechanism. it’s to protect us. it’s not a bad thing. we think of how the world impacts ourselves first. we don’t always act upon those thoughts or voice them, but don’t forget to let mike have them. he doesn’t need to be happy for his friends all the time, or rooting for them or supportive. he should have his own things going on.

also. mike’s not a doormat. yes, he stays in derry. but those were life-death consequences for generations of children. it’s really not comparable to almost any decision mike would make in a pennywise free universe. yes, he made a sacrifice in the book but i don’t think he’d just lay himself down in any given universe to whatever fate wants to hand him. but this is where i end this topic bc i’m actually only barely beginning to get to this topic in my own fic!

it’s hard writing the losers young sometimes bc i do feel relationships are naturally a little unbalanced based on basic maturity levels as young people. sometimes friendships just are unbalanced bc of who people are at that time. everyone involved can still be good people in these relationships. it’s about growing together and learning how to be good friends to each other.

for example, in &tfat: certain losers are always checking in with others. others are really wrapped up in their own shit and don’t really notice what bothers the others. it would probably take a chart the size of a textbook to explain how i think this dynamic wholly pans out in full. and yeah, i think it grates on mike a little bit that he is always the checker and never the checkee.

but even when mike snaps, even when he gets upset, i always write it coming out of him with a lot of love. i genuinely think mike, regardless of experience in that fic, has the deepest understanding of love as its own concept and an understand of how exactly it rules his life and and his relationships. mike knows to feel strongly about something he has to care about it. there are lots of things he just doesn’t care about. in the book it’s stated he’s difficult to connect with as an adult. he’s distant. he’s focused on what he wants to focus on. i think mike is actually the most interesting when he becomes a little bit of a disaster man with very little time for what doesn’t interest him.

which last thing, dislikes & disinterests

-what annoys him?

-what makes him genuinely angry?

-what bores him to tears?

i always make jokes that i bring up the nastier parts of the losers bc i love nasty boys but thinking of things people don’t like is as much a part of them as the things they do.

for example, in &tfat, i write richie as making fun of “nerdy” things like anything you could find at comic con. i write bev as not giving a fuck about sports. bill doesn’t care about richie’s music tastes. eddie hates getting condescended to.

bc of the ... kind thing, mike’s one of the harder losers to do this with. i genuinely think mike would listen to any of his friends tell him about anything. & he knows, in return, they can’t say shit when he wants to ramble about history. but dislikes can also be super situational.

again, for example in & tfat: mike doesn’t like when his friends talk about college right now. no one is really being sensitive to him at all. he hates getting blamed for stuff that isn’t his fault, mostly bc it keeps happening.

anyway. i based a lot of my mike (mostly sense of humor and personality) off of a mix of real life friends of mine. it’s a luxury. i know. i’ve been blessed to have friends from literally all walks of life & for me borrowing little habits & quirks & sayings & jokes to slip into my fics and characters is my way of writing one massive love letter to those ive known. i hope i’ve helped you in some way anon. n if not.... don’t be sad i’m hardly one to take writing advice from anyway jandjxjx

overall, as i used to do often, i’d genuinely stop myself and say: is this a person, or a convenience for the plot? and if it was the latter, sigh, and get my backspace key ready.

[ante--meridiem]

Ooh, 2, 12 and 13 from the wlw asks?

2. talk about the girl who made you realise you liked girls

Uh. OK. I don't know if you want to ask that, I might get a bit carried away, but. I've talked about her before here and there on this blog. She's... probably the person I've shared most of my thoughts with, and the person who made me feel most free. You know that Wuthering Heights quote that goes "he's more myself than I am"? That's how I felt about her. She's what I aspired to be, embodied the things I wanted to express but never could. Everything about her seemed musical to me. She was one of the few people who thought like I did and could easily understand me, and I her, but she was also very different in some ways - more outwardly confident, more detached, but also more... alive, I guess? At least, that was what I saw at first, and I was shocked to realise that under that she felt things the same way I did - the same coldness and loneliness and existential dread.

She's absurdly talented at art - started out with a very polished style then moved to something more abstract. It's - expressive, but in a restrained way. She has this way of smirking - it's warm and playful but somehow still a little distant. She's always on the move, hates feeling stuck.

She's caring and protective of her friends, but it’s buried really deep and takes a long time to show itself. I first saw that side of her when I saw her interacting with her youngest brother - she's a bit cold and aloof to the rest of her family, and to most people, but openly fond of him. She likes to share things with people - experiences, ideas - but there's a very "take it or leave it" sense to it. She later told me she has an avoidant personality, which made a lot of sense of things I saw in her before. Not avoidant in an outwardly anxious way, but she avoids confronting her feelings, tends to run from things and - in her words - lets her desires be absorbed into those of people close to her.

We were friends for all of high school, but I only got to be very close to her in the last few years. At first I was low-key jealous of her. It's actually quite funny in retrospect. I remember mentioning to my mom about how unfairly pretty and perfect and talented she is, and my mom was like "I don't really see it" and I just went "??? Have you looked at her?" The moment I remember most in terms of realisation was when she was telling me about boys who'd asked her out and I very distinctly thought "well, I can't blame them, if I were a boy I'd want to date her too". Took me about a year to drop the "if I were a boy" part. It took me another two years to confess to her; we didn't get together but we did become much closer. We had a long conversation afterwards and it was the first time I realised that it was possible to have that kind of connection to someone - to get below the surface of standard social interactions and really, truly reveal yourself to them. I think a bit of that went both ways because while she never reciprocated my feelings she did start to confide in me much more and told me she felt understood by me.

I call it a crush, but I'm pretty sure I was in love with her, and I don't think I use that word lightly. I think, at any point in my life that I saw her again, no matter what else happens, a part of me would still be in love with her.

12. do you have an ideal ‘type’? what would they be like?

Mm... I say this more in abstraction, because I don't have all that many examples to draw from, but I tend to go for people I can admire. Every crush or even sort-of-crush I've had has been on someone older than me, if only by a small margin. I like people with passion, confidence, and conviction, but also who are very good at something, especially if it's something artistic that I can see part of them in. I used to go for the slightly aloof and distant type, but I think I'm slowly gravitating more towards warmer personalities. I like people who can make me see the world in different ways - but also who have some common, for lack of a better word, emotional core with me that I can feel resonance with.

They also have to be sufficiently non-judgemental that I can feel safe showing the parts of myself that aren't perfect - anyone overly moralistic and quick to deem others bad is a massive red flag, because I have a deep seated need to be accepted, and being deemed bad or wrong or broken by someone I loved for a minor infraction or for thinking or feeling the wrong way would... hurt a lot. I can be very attracted to people who are preachy and judgemental but I would be extremely wary of pursuing a relationship with them.

13. what’s your favourite personality trait of yours?

I would like to think I can make people feel safe in the way I said above that I need to feel safe. This is the main thing that the boy I briefly dated before realising I'm gay saw in me. I also will go a long way to try to understand someone and am good at helping people sort through and analyse their thoughts, especially if their thought process is similar to mine - this is what I was able to offer to the girl described in my first answer.

[slasherparty]

Can I get killers (your pick) with a scientist s/o???? :0

OH I LIKE THIS!!! very unique prompt thank you!! the killers i’m picking for this are: leatherface (bubba), jason, harry warden, brahms, and pinhead! (i might also give them each different types of scientist if that’s okay…)

leatherface x (botanist) s/o:

bubba hasn’t had any formal education really, so whenever you talk about scientific subjects he’s very intimidated. you almost always have to rephrase your sentences if he’s listening while you talk about your expertise. 

you try and teach him some different topics, mostly beginner. he’s receptive, even if his focus isn’t the greatest. he appreciates your patience whenever he has a question or doesn’t understand certain things.

expect that you’ll have to repeat a lot of what you say. repetition is the key to learning, but its amplified with bubba.

he likes to demonstrate what he’s learned by pointing things out around his family. they pretend to be impressed at first since its just basic stuff, but begin to really be impressed when bubba starts to learn things they have no idea about. how’d he learn all the steps it takes for a flower to bloom? 

bubba loves sunflowers. they’re his favorite. he wants to know why they get so tall and what makes them love the sun so much.

jason voorhees x (astronomer) s/o:

jason is most active at night. for a long time, his only company during this time were the stars that hung above the dense forestry of camp crystal lake. they’re always very clear to see thanks to the lack of light pollution. 

he’s overjoyed whenever you point out a constellation to him. whether its new or one he’s known for awhile, the information you have on each captures his full attention every time. 

though you have a lot to say about the science behind stars, you know jason enjoys the mythology surrounding them much more. they’re like bedtime stories to him. 

sometimes he’ll take you up to the hilly part of the woods surrounding the lake so you can both be closer to the sky, no distractions in sight. you lie back next to him and tell him how people in ancient times charted stars. these little history lessons would bore just about anyone else but jason is captivated.

you dabble in astrology as well. you love explaining different zodiac charts to jason and the significance surrounding a person’s birth date. 

jason was born on june 13th, so that makes him a gemini. you hold back the smirk on your face when you think about all the zodiac memes you’ve seen about his sign. you think gemini rather fits him, all jokes aside.

harry warden x (engineer) s/o:

harry is often very curious about the things you work on. you don’t mind him hanging over your shoulder while you wile away at various machines, putting pieces together and working your math out on multiple pieces of scrap paper. 

he knows a few tools and tricks of the engineer trade from his experience as a miner. granted, he’s more of a grunt worker and employs physical work more than mental, but you enjoy it when he demonstrates his knowledge. 

harry’s mask intrigues you! it’s a very old model, so you ask about it a lot. he doesn’t really understand why until one day you offer to make some modifications to it. he’s hesitant, not knowing what you’re thinking of changing about such an integral part of his wardrobe, but once you explain you only want to make it more accessible he relents. 

mask mods!!! you fix his mask up a bit, repairing damages and whatnot. you ask for permission to replace the outer tube with a less cumbersome one, but he adamantly refuses. instead, you focus on making the airway clearer and buff out scratches on the plastic eye panes. though it isn’t a part of his mask, you replace the bulb in his headlamp for good measure.

one day you decide to mess around with a mask of your own and build one almost similar to his, if only less weathered and dated. he finds you wearing it and is almost alarmed until he realizes its you under the mask. you don’t wear it often afterwards, but it always gives him a good laugh when you put it on and imitate him with it. 

brahms heelshire x (psychologist) s/o:

being a licensed psychologist certainly gave you a leg up in your side hustle as a sitter. you specialized in child psychology, of course, and knew how to handle children very well. the heelshire’s situation was very interesting to you from the beginning, which is why you took it in stride and didn’t turn the job down when they presented their ‘son’ to you. you could understand their plight from a psychological point of view. 

however, meeting the true brahms presented a case unlike any your years in school could prepare you for. because of your experience with crisis management, you aren’t outwardly phased. as always you remain calm in the face of a threatening situation.

brahms is very perplexed when you don’t so much as whimper upon his unveiling. he was prepared for any amount of distress, but this? what the hell was wrong with you?

you speak to him kindly like you would any of your patients. brahms of course isn’t a patient and you don’t wish to treat him as such without his consent, but you can tell he needs to be handled with strategy before mutual trust can be established. 

after the initial meeting, you are quick to return to a regular everyday schedule. routines ensure stability and you are eager to return to normality as quick as possible.

brahms is hesitant at first, thinking you must be hiding your fear to try and get him to take his guard down. after a week passes without so much as an attempt at escape, brahms settles. 

you let this stasis reinforce brahms and take your time in trying to really communicate with him. you take note of how he usually speaks to you in the voice of a child; the voice he had before he became a recluse. 

when he gets angry or frustrated is when his real voice shows, or rather the secondary voice he uses without a filter. if you purposefully provoke him sometimes just to hear it, that’s your secret. 

brahms doesn’t mind talking with you about his thoughts and feelings, but he is a bit suspicious about why you want to know so bad. he doesn’t give you any response unless you share things about yourself as well, and you oblige after being given the silent treatment on multiple occasions.

pinhead x (sociologist) s/o: 

as a student of anthropology and sociology, you have extensive knowledge of human nature. you often take an aloof stance when talking about such things. despite being human yourself, when you discuss the history of them you sound not unlike an alien looking down upon humanity through a magnifying glass.

pinhead used to find this part of you hypocritical, but now he finds it rather appealing. he knows you realize the irony of your detached intelligence when it comes to your fellow humans, but the fact that you continue to do so despite this is refreshing. he hates when people second guess themselves over simple matters like that. 

he often asks about current cultural conventions and you indulge him with the things you’ve learned. he likes to hear your opinions on religion and ethics most of all. 

being a sociologist also means studying general attitudes about a plethora of different socially involved issues. when talking about the ethics and relationships between humans and sex, pinhead’s curiosity is caught. 

this particular topic is something he ends up discussing a lot with you. he likes to hear what you have to say about sexual dynamics and how bedroom morality greatly differs from what people entertain in their day to day life. you get heated when discussing how preachy humans are about sex but then abandon that logic when ecstasy is proffered to them; how most humans are hypocritical and self-serving in the context of sexual situations. he’s always found this fact very humorous and he’s happy someone finally sympathizes with him. 

(i drafted jason being with a biologist before i decided on giving him an astronomer, so here’s that too if anyone is interested! yay bonus jason content 💛💛)

jason voorhees x (biologist) s/o:

you try very hard not to treat jason like an experiment. lord knows he’s spent enough of his life (and afterlife) being treated as subhuman. however, being an avid fan of the human body, you can’t help yourself when you go a little overboard while inspecting him.

contrary to your beliefs, jason finds it endearing how curious you are about him. he’s glad his biology doesn’t scare you and indulges your study of him when he’s not brooding or off on the hunt for campers.

though jason is your favorite subject, you enjoy animal biology as well. jason often comes home to find you studying small animals and bugs you manage to trap using various tools around the cabin. you always release them afterwards so your animal-loving boyfriend doesn’t fret.

jason will find you as many empty journals as he can, not that the campers ever leave many of this type of belonging behind. they almost always have something else on their mind, but thankfully a few have spare paper and supplies in their packs. you insist you have enough journals of your own, but he doesn’t stop. you end up using the ones he brings you more than your own anyway because you don’t want jason’s efforts to be vain.

sometimes he manages to find cute stationary for you to use, including but not limited to: erasers shaped like food and animals, glitter pens, sticky notes with patterned borders, and on the rare occasion highlighters.

jason has spent a lot of time in the wilderness but he doesn’t have any reference or ways to name the things he’s learned. you help him connect the dots. he becomes more enthusiastic during daytime walks when you tag along to help him put labels to different plants and animals.

[noona-clock]

Study: Park Jinyoung

In which we dig deeper under the surface of our favorite KPOP idols.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the gifs used in this post. I am not an astrologer nor am I a professional psychologist. These are my opinions based on the research I have done personally/as a hobby. If you disagree with any of these statements, please do so respectfully.

-Admin B

Sun Sign: Virgo (Earth)

Jinyoung is a very interesting mix of Mark and Jackson, and I say this quite literally. His Sun and Moon signs are identical to Mark’s, while his Life Path number and Chinese Zodiac are identical to Jackson’s. The first half of his MBTI is identical to Mark’s, while the second half is identical to Jackson’s. It’s... kind of weird.

Virgos, on a good day, are extremely dedicated, hard-working people. They are resourceful and helpful, and you definitely would not hate having a Virgo around in a sticky situation. They will be more than willing to come up with a plan to get you out of it. Jinyoung, though he can be extremely savage, is definitely resourceful, dedicated, and hard-working. If you’re on his good side, he will 100% have your back and help you out when you need a hand.

On a bad day, Virgos can be very critical and uptight... but that doesn’t sound like Jinyoung at all, right? I mean, he’s only the mom of the group. And idols don’t get the ‘mom’ reputation for being critical and uptight! (LOL) I think he can definitely be critical of the Got7 members, but he’s also critical of himself. And, while he is one of the more lively members (kind of), he’s definitely got his serious moments, and he’s such a hard worker that he tends to put work before fun.

Virgos are also known for being witty, and I’m pretty sure Jinyoung is the wittiest of the group. BamBam is all about physical comedy, but Jinyoung is about smart comedy. And that’s what wit truly is - smart humor. You can tell Jinyoung also finds himself funny and appreciates his own sense of humor. As he should!

Moon Sign: Aries (Fire)

Jinyoung’s got that earth sun sign/fire moon sign thing going on. Calm and levelheaded on the outside, enthusiastic and passionate on the inside.

Aries are known to be one of the more energetic and bold signs. Even though Jinyoung is introverted, he definitely has one of the stronger presences in the group. He’s for sure JB’s right hand man, wouldn’t you agree? They are also known for being very caring and devoted. Yes, Jinyoung is extremely savage, but we all know he loves his members and Aghases so much. His savageness comes from a place of pure love!

On the other hand, Aries can be kind of... bossy. And proud and stubborn and a little self-centered. So, this is definitely where his savage side comes into play. Yes, it’s done out of love, but he wouldn’t have the ability to be savage if he weren’t an Aries moon.

Chinese Astrology: Wood Dog

As I stated in Jackson’s study, dogs in the Chinese Zodiac are seen just as dogs in real life: they’re loyal, honest, and courageous friends. They’re very giving, but they can also be guarded and very defensive.

They’re very good at accomplishing goals quickly because they feel they know best and tend to be somewhat bossy. They are extremely intelligent, though, so they have a right to feel they know best. And even though Dogs usually appear calm, their minds and hearts are always active. This describes Jinyoung pretty well because he is one of the more quiet members, but he’s definitely always thinking. Dogs have a propensity to be Introverts, and Jinyoung certainly fits into that category.

Dogs can also be somewhat cynical with sharp tongues, so there’s that savage part of him again.

Numerology: Life Path 9

Those born with the life path number 9 are very interesting individuals. They have very strong beliefs, and they use those beliefs to fuel their ambitions and goals. They also really want to help people, so their goals usually revolve around serving others in some sort of way. Being a kpop idol may not be regarded as a ‘humanitarian’ career, but it certainly is! Music brings joy to so many people around the world, and Jinyoung is doing nothing but serving humanity and helping people by sharing his passion for music and entertainment with everyone.

Number 9s usually have a very authoritative aura about them, and people tend to think they are in charge. As I mentioned earlier, Jinyoung definitely seems like he’s JB’s right hand man and second-in-command of Got7. And he’s not even the oldest or second oldest. He just has that natural ability to lead, and people are more apt to listen to him than most others.

Speaking of listening, 9s kind of have a tendency to be a little... preachy. They think they know best, and they can sometimes do a terrible job listening to other people. But they make up for it with their incredible charisma and creativity. A lot of 9s make amazing teachers, counselors, musicians, comedians, or actors because of these traits.

MBTI: ISFJ

Introverted, Sensing, Feeling, Judging

Jinyoung is extremely Introverted, and while not quite as Introverted as Mark, he’s very close. He’s certainly one of the more quiet members of the group, and it’s very clear he thinks before he speaks. He doesn’t blurt things out, and this shows his mind is active on the inside. 

Jinyoung scored pretty highly as a Sensing individual. He likes to experience things for himself, and he’s not the best at abstract thinking or imagining how things could be. He looks at the small details first in order to get a view of the big picture. Sensing people are usually big fans of visual art, sports, or activities in which they engage their senses.

Jinyoung’s scores for the third dimension were much more even, but he got 2 points higher for Feeling. I can really see him going both ways, though, because he does seem to be more serious and logical yet very caring and loving towards the members (even if he doesn’t show it outwardly - or shows the opposite. I’m looking at you, Yugyeom).

Finally, Jinyoung typed as Judging which means he is governed more by his judging dimension - Feeling. Like I said, though, he’s fairly equal when it comes to Thinking/Feeling, so this is why it’s so confusing to know how truly feels. He seems like a total savage, but he’s actually very caring.

Other Studies: Im Jaebum, Mark Tuan, Jackson Wang, Choi Youngjae, BamBam, Kim Yugyeom

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

[sinceileftyoublog]

Boulevards Interview: Funky Gut Punches

Photo by Jordan Rickard

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“I wish I could Men In Black erase my shit so I could listen to it with fresh ears,” Jamil Rashad tells me over the phone from Raleigh, North Carolina. The garage funk artist who records as Boulevards is about to release Brother!, a four-track EP (with an accompanying 2-track single) via Normaltown Records, an imprint of New West. But the restless singer-songwriter’s coming back from recording even newer music, for a potential LP, and has to get in the mindset that in a couple weeks, he’s dropping something he recorded a while back, especially because it’s his most assured (recorded) music to date, all the while exploring new aesthetic and thematic territory.

Rashad finished writing the songs on Brother! early on during the pandemic and messaged various artists he admired to see whether they’d produce the record. Blake Rhein, of Durand Jones & The Indications, bit. Rashad had long admired them. “Durand Jones & The Indications was one of the first soul revival groups in the game,” he said. “They kind of paved the way for Black Pumas and the other cats on Colemine [Records].” It turned out to be the perfect fit for what Rashad was trying to do. “I wanted to do some soul shit but still stay focused to the garage-funk element of Boulevards,” he said, something immediately apparent from the warbling psychedelia of the guitars and strut of the drums from the opening and title track. “I’ve always been chasing my predecessors,” he continued, referring to not only the contemporaries that paved the way for him but classics he grew up listening to with his father, a radio DJ: George Clinton & Parliament-Funkadelic, Curtis Mayfield, and Rick James. Rashad’s always been an avid indie rock and punk listener too, citing The Strokes’ Is This It and early Black Keys albums as just as formative.

You can hear Boulevards’ journey to this genre-averse point from listening to his discography. He released his debut LP on Brooklyn post-punk label Captured Tracks, bouncing around different labels and different styles (earlier this year, he released a collaborative track with “Bulletproof” synth popper La Roux) before finding a home on Normaltown. “I had to make those records in the past to make it to this point,” he said, citing New West’s increasing levels of genre diversity, from Caroline Rose’s pop-rock jamfest LONER to their recent Pylon box set, as a reason why he kept asking them to release his EP. When they said yes, he felt like they got it. “If you’re friends with [Normaltown co-founder] George [Fontaine, Jr.] on Facebook or Instagram, you’ll see how eclectic his tastes are. If anybody could get what I was trying to do, George gets it. It’s not like the Thundercats, the Leon Bridges, the Gary Clark Jr.s of the world,” he said. “This is Carolina soul shit.” As a bonus, Rashad was already friends with a couple New West signees: singer-songwriter Jaime Wyatt and American Aquarium’s BJ Barham, the latter of whom helped Rashad get sober from alcohol.

It’s certainly not lost on Rashad that, in his music community, he’s a Black singer-songwriter surrounded by many white ones, many of whom are his friends but don’t have to face the differences inherent in being Black in America. Some of these differences, he sings about, like on “Shook”, a song about being afraid of the police in Raleigh. But it’s the disparities in the music world that he hopes to directly reduce with Brother! “You have indie rock and the soul revival stuff and the psychedelic stuff, but you don’t have the straight garage funk records unless you see an old record on a Spotify playlist,” he laments, citing the dearth of existence and/or influence of old school, “Black small rare funk bands” as a reason for wanting to bring funk to the forefront. In a post-George Floyd protest world of white American racial reckoning, influencing everything from opinions on law enforcement to music listening habits, Rashad wants to tell his story, share his thoughts on the world, and dance while doing it.

Read the rest of my interview with Rashad below, and check out his live stream from the Cat’s Cradle in Carrboro via NPR tomorrow night at 7 PM CST.

Since I Left You: It’s hard to point to a short EP as a turning point for many artists like this is for you. Why did you want to do just these four songs as opposed to a bigger project?

Jamil Rashad: I mean, I wanted to do a bigger project. That’s why we’re writing an LP right now. But for me, the writing never stops. I’m always writing. At first, I wasn’t even gonna do an EP here. I was gonna do singles and see how my fan base reacted. I wasn’t even gonna have a label. Every record, I always feel like it’s gonna be a turning point. You never know. I was thinking about this the other day. It’s almost like I’m starting fresh. These are songs I’ve been wanting to write--it’s just taken me time as an artist to get to this point to be able to zone in on the sound that I wanted. A 4-song EP is a little bit of the past and what’s to come with Boulevards, which I’m really stoked about.

SILY: You can tell that immediately from the title track, the first track on the EP. It’s got that psychedelic, garage element to the guitars, but it’s also really funky.

JR: I was tested a lot on this record, learning how the voice interacts with the microphone. Blake was pushing me to do it, which no producer has never done before. It’s turned out really dope. The goal was always to be the face of garage funk. Back in the day, my parents and your parents had the George Clinton records, Isaac Hayes, [Curtis Mayfield], they had all these different artists that were bringing the wave of funk. James Brown. You don’t really have that now. You have soul acts, R&B acts, indie rock acts, country acts, Americana acts, but you don’t have anyone that [brings] the funk shit. That’s what Boulevards is all about.

SILY: More than ever for you, these songs are political. Did you want the EP to be both a thematic and aesthetic turning point, or was that just a coincidence?

JR: It was both. Being 36 at this age, and looking at what’s going on in America, there are things you can’t ignore. I’m not a political expert, but maybe I should post what I’m feeling, what I’m seeing from white friends and Black friends and what’s going on with my community, and put it into these songs. I don’t think if a lot of this stuff didn’t happen with George Floyd, the pandemic, small businesses struggling, and people struggling, I would have been able to write these songs. I’m still gonna stay true to love and heartbreak, and self-growth, and trying to overcome obstacles and things of that nature. Those things I’m always gonna write about. But what was going on in the world definitely inspired and influenced those lines and crafting those songs. I’m not one to preach--you have a lot of these artists who have political records and preach. I wanted to make something about what I’ve experienced that people can still vibe and groove too.

SILY: Only “Shook” seems to be outwardly political. The rest of the songs are about Black life, but they’re really about your Black life.

JR: Of course. Me being a Black man and my struggles and things I’ve been through and seen other people go through. “Shook” is a song about being afraid of police. Being a Black man, every time I leave my house, I have to calculate every move that I make. It’s not like that for a lot of my white friends. That’s fine--that’s what America is. Well, actually, it’s not fine, it’s where America’s at. If I see Raleigh PD and am walking in a predominantly white neighborhood, are they gonna stop me? I live in this neighborhood I worked my ass off to be in. Are they gonna stop me because I don’t look the part and look like I’m up to something? So that’s what inspired “Shook”. Elijah McClain, just doing his thing, cops killing the brother. I didn’t want to do it in an overly preachy way, but at the same time, as America, we have to have uncomfortable conversations with each other. White on white America needs to show awareness with each other for things to actually change. 

“Brother!” is mostly about working. Working your ass off for somebody and nothing changes. [laughs] You’re putting in the hours and the time, you’re making money for somebody else who doesn’t give a shit about you. You’re trying to get the promotions, you’re putting on a face. I worked at Best Buy, you can imagine being a touring artist and then having to put on a blue shirt and dealing with customers over some TV or kitchen appliance shit. I’m obviously doing my job, but I’m not gonna get a promotion there or get an advancement there. It’s about being a Black man in the work force and making somebody else money. At the time, I wasn’t sober, too, so the bar was my only release. It was the only way I could cope with that. [At the same time,] being in the Black community and being in Raleigh, and seeing my father interact with other Black men and even white men, saying, “Brother so and so” [inspired the song.] That’s how we greet each other sometimes. It’s also talking to myself talking to a man out there.

SILY: Whether these songs are about your personal experiences growing up or problems you’re facing now, as serious as they are, you can dance to them.

JR: Curtis Mayfield was good for that. Funkadelic, even Marvin Gaye. That’s what I wanted to be able to accomplish. Funk hits people in the gut. You can still politically come from a serious perspective. 

SILY: Tell me about the video for “Luv n Pain”.

JR: It’s a simple, fun video. [Director] Patrick [Lincoln] pitched the idea. He wanted to have a day of Boulevards alone in his home, reflecting on being alone, reflecting on the things that have caused me personal heartbreak, without a partner. Getting ready in the morning, drinking coffee, wanting to share it with somebody but not having anybody to share it with.

Every video I’ve done up till this point, I’m always dancing. He wanted to slow things down, but still have it be Boulevards, stay true to me, have me dance in certain scenes but also have me reflecting, looking at the fire, up at the ceiling, things we do in our own homes. We [also] wanted to make something visually appealing and fun with bright colors. We didn’t really try to overthink it. Something simple that reflected Boulevards. When I’m at home, I’m always dancing.

SILY: You reference Gil Scott-Heron on “Shook” (“The revolution is now being televised.”) When was the first time you were aware of him?

JR: When I was a kid. My dad used to pick me and my sister up from track practice, and he worked at the radio station and was always getting these records. Gil Scott-Heron, “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”, “Whitey on the Moon”, all these songs. He’s a poet. I started out as a poet before I became a rapper, MC, or funk artist. Every time I do spoken word on a record, it’s never written. The verses and hooks are, but here, I said to the engineer, play these couple bars and just let me talk. It just came out. It also came from watching peoples’ stories and thinking, “The revolution is being televised now.” We’re seeing the anger, the pain, people expressing their frustration with the system of racial inequality in America. Not just Black people, but white people and Latino too. [Before,] they didn’t want people to see what was going on in America. Now, people are seeing it and are looking and are more aware of it now.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

JR: Sly Stone and Funkadelic, predecessors I grew up loving. That was influenced by a Sly Stone record. 60′s/70′s swag. I worked with a photographer in Raleigh named Jordan [Rickard]. I wanted to do something simple. I did it in my crib at my front porch. When I’m working on a record, I always have these vision boards. I always think about the colors, being a Black man, what’s gonna look good. I reached out to a stylist in L.A. who’s a good friend. I’ve always wanted to do a burnt orange background, and the sky blue represents Carolina blue because I’m a big Tar Heels fan. That color coordination blue and orange looks good together. 

SILY: Why are you also putting out a two-track single in addition to the 4-track EP?

JR: That was more the label, how we wanted to go about the campaign. Initially, “Luv n Pain” was the first single I wanted to release regardless. “Shook” would be too predictable. There were so many artists releasing protest songs. “Luv n Pain” is more the past and present of Boulevards. When we finished it in the studio, [I knew.]

[idontneednofuckinhug]

Music drought recommendations I – Soulful rap and Neo-soul

So, the past few weeks I’ve had a fair share of acquaintances and friends share with me, that they’ve been in a bit of a musical drought recently, especially with the whole lockdown scenario, where a lot of musicians postponed their upcoming projects. I’ve been asked things like “Do you have any song or album recommendations like x”, “What should I listen to that sounds like x” and “I’ve not heard anything new lately, can you help out with some music recommendations?”. Truth be told, I’ve been on somewhat of a drought by my standards as well, as I’ve been rediscovering projects from the early 2010s I forgot I had listened to and found a few really underground artists. I’m talking less than 5k listens on a lot of their music.

I’ve helped out all of my friends who asked me about it and I figured since there’s a fair chance a lot of people are going through a similar drought, I might as well write a few posts with which I can help out anyone who’s looking for some new shit to listen to.

The first post I’m writing will be about albums or artists than have a laid-back, soulful sound – if you like new Tyler, Anderson. Paak or even some of Brockhampton’s music, then this will be a piece with music recommendations which you might enjoy. I’ll be looking at some more commercial albums and also some more low-key projects, so that you can have music to share with your friends, as well as songs to jam to on the low-low. Obviously I recommend the artists I’m sharing’s whole discographies, but these albums in particular might be the right vibe for your tastes.

Mac Miller – The Divine Feminine You can’t talk about Anderson. Paak and not mention his feature in Mac Miller’s Dang! In general the Divine Feminine in its majority is an incredibly soulful and groovy album, combining lyrical ability with romantic and sexy production. The project puts you through the whole array of love-related emotions and leaves you with a feeling of nostalgia of all of your previous romantic encounters.

Arin Ray – Platinum Fire Arin Ray’s debut album combines modern R&B with elements of funk and deep sexy saxophones with which the artist paints a setting of a 60s blues piano bar, in which everyone can’t help themselves to not dance. The record at some points builds up and explodes with soulful energy before again fading out to a more lax, vintage-feeling blues sound.

Knxwledge – 1988 Knxlwedge has been one of the best producers in the past decade when it comes to using and twisting soulful samples to paint a picture of nostalgia. The tape has a very warm energy surrounding it with the producer’s signature smoothness defining it as a typical “Knxwledge project”. What differs this record from a lot of similarly produced ones is Knxwledge’s approach to the human voice – the way he twists and pitches it to create emotions with it.

Childish Major – Dirt Road Diamond Not a debut record, but another debut studio album, Childish Major’s music combines hip-hop with jazz in a very somber manner. Exploring the topics of lost love, falling for the wrong people and intimate downfalls from the outwardly appearance of a very posh-looking guy, Childish crafts a very honest and self-reflective record, painting a vivid picture of falling down and getting up again.

BJ The Chicago Kid - 1123 BJ has turned into a bit of a virtuoso of mixing modern neo-soul and R&B with vintage soul and funk. Creating a very relaxed and unbothered vibe for all of his projects, what makes him so different is the way he uses his voice to create a feeling: nonchalant, but emotionally engaged; zoned out, but in his feelings; humble and welcoming, but demanding attention. In 1123 the singer shows that you need not do anything else than be yourself.

Noname – Room 25 I’ve talked about this album in the past, but I think it’s always deserving of being talked about to be fair. Noname’s a poet first and a rapper second and you can hear that on Room 25 – surrounded and often overwhelmed by jazz and neo-soul samples, Noname talks about the challenges and experiences of being a modern woman, as well as being a modern black woman. Very heavily focusing on telling the story of her life, sometimes it feels like she’s rambling to a friend, bordering on the annoying, but never actually annoying you, rather making herself more human and relatable.

Klassik – QUIET The most unknown record from these recommendations Klassik created a very retrospective neo-soul record in which he reflects on all of his previous actions in his life so far. The record’s general vibe is that of a person trying to find inner peace and accept himself for who he is, he just wants it all to be QUIET for a moment. The album is reminiscent of those late nights, where you’re by yourself at home, listening to music and wondering why you are where you are.

Duckwrth – IM UUGLY Always a bit of an oddball in LA’s contemporary hip-hop scene, Duckwrth created an album which was a very creative twist on conscious rap. The record seemingly feels very incohesive, but at the same time fitting together well. The concept of the album being looking at all your flaws and accepting them with a smile or even, fittingly, with humor, the production on IM UUGLY is a mixed bag of jazzy, poppy, soulful, funky and even more typical hip-hop beats. Duckwrth has a lot of fun on the record, whilst still telling a relatable story and never appearing as too preachy, although there is a noticeable lack of polish in some songs.

If you find yourself liking some of the recommended projects, I’d also give a listen to records such as Ari Lennox’s Shea Butter Baby, Kota the Friends’s FOTO, Smino’s Blkswn and Overdoz’s 2008. Hopefully with all of this in mind, you won’t be feeling the need to ask your friends for any music recommendations any time soon!

[aclockworkfilmsnob]

Thoughts on Britannia Hospital (1982)

Anyone who has seen a good chunk of Lindsay Anderson's films knows that a common trademark of them is having, let's call them, unorthodox moments. Events that transpire in a much more strange and experimental fashion than the rest of the movie. They completely lack subtlety and the statements being made are on a Paul Verhoeven level of obviousness. Some of these moments are great and enhance the film, like the sheep scene in O Lucky Man! and the spider scene in This Sporting Life, while others leave a lot to be desired, like the predatory coffee shop scene in If…., or the silent film techniques utilized in select scenes of O Lucky Man! Whatever the case may be, these moments are undoubtably strange, and to some they may be a major turnoff for Lindsay Anderson's filmography. I can't help but feel like some stuck up critic lambasted him for this one day, telling Lindsay that you can't just sprinkle in moments of absurdity into an otherwise cohesive film. In turn, he decided to make an entire film built on the foundation of outlandish scenes, and Britannia Hospital was born. If I haven't made it clear enough, this is not a primary example of a cohesive movie, for better or worse. The last thing I would say about this film is that it's predictable, or in any way traditional. But that doesn't necessarily warrant praise for its originality. Britannia Hospital is easily the weirdest Lindsay Anderson film I've ever seen. I'd go as far as to call it even more cynical than If…., or at least just as much so. Just about every main character in this movie is an awful person. The only exception I can possibly think of is Mick Travis, played once again by the incomparable Malcolm McDowell. The thing is, he's barely in the movie. I dare say he's in it as much as Mark Hamill is, which is not a lot at all. Anyone who hasn't seen the past two Mick Travis films will find themselves somewhat underwhelmed by how flat this guy is, the only thing we EVER find out about him being told to us through one quick line of expository dialogue (which may or may not hint at this being a direct sequel to O Lucky Man! but it really doesn't add much to the film at all) and fans of Mick Travis will be even more let down by how little of the film he's actually in. This movie would have been so much better had it centered around the journalist Mick Travis sleuthing through the dark unrests of Britannia Hospital, giving us a legitimately sympathetic character to work as a catalyst for the audience to discover the shocking and absurd truths of the facility. But this is only one of many subplots in the entire movie, and without a central character it really falls apart. The beauty of the other two Mick Travis films is getting to see different ways this guy interacts to his horrible surroundings, but in this movie you don't even scratch the surface of that. Yet still, he's the most entertaining part of the film, because you're never emotionally disconnected from him. The rest of the subplots really leave a lot to be desired. There's a lot going on with union workers, media men, Hospital higher ups, and a borderline mad scientist Doctor. For a film that's less than two hours long, this movie has a LOT of subplots to juggle, and it doesn't do an amazing job at it. I barely ever feel for any of these characters, and thus I'm left more or less uninterested in what's being done to propel the plot and what statements are being made throughout the story. Yes there are some interesting and admittedly funny moments, but barely anything that ever sticks with you. All of these sub plots could be divided into separate movies of consistently good quality if they were just given time to breathe. Hell, I'd say that the Mick Travis subplot would have made for a GREAT film, or at the very least a phenomenal short film. Of course this movie has a lot to say about society, government, corruption, and all that wonderful stuff, and I really appreciate the fact that it handles this subject matter in a hyperbolic and tongue-in-cheek way, but as a whole it just doesn't work as well as it could have. There are ideas buried in here that are downright brilliant, and in some cases there were comedic bits that had me audibly laughing. But the moments of comedy and satire miss more than they hit, at times you're really left scratching your head wondering "What is this movie trying to say? Why is it trying to say it this way? Is this really necessary?" I appreciate the cynicism and the fact that it's outwardly provocative towards every touchy subject it brings up, but I refuse to hail this as a masterpiece solely because it didn't sell out or try and appeal to the lowest common denominator. Something I've noticed about all of the other Lindsay Anderson films I've seen so far is that the weird moments are almost never total highlights for me. Don't get me wrong, I've liked a lot of them, but none of them have ever made me go "this is my favorite scene in the whole film." Britannia Hospital, as I've made clear many times, is a weird movie. But there is one moment that REALLY sticks out as just being totally bizarre and out-there. I won't give it away, all I'll say is that it involves Mick Travis, and I absolutely loved it. It was by far my favorite scene in the whole movie, I was jovially laughing and even started to clap at how much I was enjoying it. If you think I'm being cryptic, believe me, you'll know it when you see it. The ending of the film is definitely memorable, but I'm not so sure it was all that great. While most of the film totally feels like A Clockwork Orange in its cynicism, satire, dark comedy, and even moments of ultra-violence, the ending of Britannia Hospital goes full on 2001: A Space Odyssey. It really sets itself up to be some wonderful comedic pay off, but it just ends up being strange and somewhat philosophical/deep, but not necessarily brilliant. In fact, I'd call it more preachy than anything, the only moment in the movie I would actually call pretentious. It just feels so out of place, and I'm still struggling to determine whether or not it was intentionally pretentious, because I wouldn't rule out that possibility. It's not a horrible ending, but it's kind of unsatisfactory. I think I get what they were going for, but it's just tonally out of place. The thing about the film is, I really can't call it lazy. There is no point in this movie where you can look at it and go "oh that's a total cop out" or "it's clear that no one tried hard when making this." It is so abundantly clear that everyone working on this movie (save for maybe the sound designers, their work didn't exactly wow me here) was trying their absolute hardest to make the best, most original and entertaining film they could. You can look at just about everything in the movie and understood why people thought this was great, why they thought it would work. It's certainly a cautionary tale for any aspiring filmmakers out there, especially screenwriters. I could easily see myself being the writer of this script and thinking to myself that it's just pure perfection, and it's kind of daunting to think about. I definitely can't say I have contempt for this film, I'm certain it was made with heart and dedication, and I believe it shows immensely. I can see people loving this film, praising it as a masterpiece, and demanding a Blu Ray release. I am just not one of them. This film was an overly ambitious mess, a culmination of so many great ideas and entertaining scenes that could not mesh very well. It's an admirable attempt, and some moments are genuinely great. It's well acted and well directed enough to prevent me from getting mad at it, and I do recommend Mick Travis fans check it out for closure, but I do not see myself rewatching it anytime soon. 6/10