#but shit just happens and it affects nothing

[foldingfittedsheets]

A basic human skill that people usually lock down around the age of three or four is impulse control. To conceptualize an action and it’s consequences before taking it. Maybe considering how that action affects other people. We then refine it through most of our childhood.

When I was a teenager my hold on this ability became… tenuous. I became a volatile and dangerous creature.

It’s probably not unique to me, but I had a perfect storm in terms of mental upsets. I had just mastered enough basic social skills, so I finally had a strong group of friends when my dad suddenly needed to move for work. Ripped away from my support network, blooming with hormones, I was dragged to Arizona. I was always a child of forests and mist and suddenly everything was hot, dry, and extremely pointy and aggressive.

Additionally to being abruptly transplanted I found myself an object of affection in a way I’d never been before. Lonely and desperate to make friends the only people who wanted to spend time with me had romantic designs. I just wanted to figure out my shit but I had a baby lesbian flirting with increasing aggression in art, a soft boy making heart eyes at me in biology, a senior nerd asking if I wanted to play Halo at his house and could he hold my hand?

Reader, I snapped. I didn’t want this romantic attention but I also didn’t want to be alone. My brain coped the only way it knew how, by simply cutting out decision making. Any action was the right action to take.

It started with the boy in biology. I’d stolen his pencil out of mischief and to my overwhelming fury instead of trying to steal it back he just softened his eyes and chucked me gently under my chin, a gesture so overtly sweet and romantic that I saw red.

I stabbed him with his own pencil.

I honestly and truly have no memory of it. It happened as fast as a snake striking and I was instantly filled with terrified remorse. Unfortunately that manifested as psychotic giggling.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t- I don’t know why- I’m so sorry!” I said, while hysterically laughing. I ended up having lodged some graphite in his palm and had to tweeze it out with my nails while apologizing furiously. (It’s very important to note here that he forgave me and we’re still friends)

That was weird, I thought. Why didn’t I think before I stabbed someone?

The next event was equally catastrophic, and I had even less reason to do it. In gym with two girls I was tentatively befriending, we were warming up running laps. I started racing one of them. At breakneck speed we were sprinting around the gym.

This time, there was a blip of thought before I fucked up. I should get the other girl! I have no idea why or what the plan was but I turned on a swivel and body checked the other girl. We both fell down in immense pain. I think that’s the moment I broke my tailbone. Her knees were horribly bruised and she looked at me in bewildered pain. “Why did you do that?!”

I had no idea. I apologized and helped her up, both of us hobbling like newborn horses, bruised and hurting.

By this time there’d been enough social upheavals that I was reduced to spending time with some girls I had nothing in common with and low key disliked. Sat at a table listening to this girl talk about how she wanted to be a stripper when she grew up I thought, You’d better put the cap on before you throw it.

I then chucked my empty water bottle directly at her face. It bounced off her forehead with a bop! that would have made a sound mixer weep at its perfection.

All eyes turned to me is startlement. I stared back at her, stunned by my own action, just as confused as everyone else at the table as to why I’d done that. One of the girls to my right said, “Were you trying to hit that fly?”

“Yes!” I lied, “I’m sorry, I thought I could hit the fly!”

Everyone laughed at my antics and I joined in rather than admit I had just chucked something at her for no reason.

Things did start to improve after that. I solidified a friendship with the girl I’d raced (who I developed a massive crush on and ten years later would go on to date). My outbursts turned more whimsical rather than aggressive. Like accosting a girl leaving the cafeteria to look deeply into her eyes and say with great compassion, “It’s going to be alright.”

My new friend and I snuck into the van that delivered our cafeterias baked goods and lay giggling in the back. When I’d impulsively hopped in she’d joined me and made it a game.

After a year in Arizona I broke down crying to my mother, an act of great desperation, and we ended up moving back home. My impulse control returned to normal teenage levels and life resumed in a happier state of mind.

[paper-mario-wiki]

"no art is good bc it's a misconfiguration of the natural world to suit man's vanity" Is an extremely misanthropic take on art. Is humanity not part of "the natural world"? Can one not make pigments from flowers or minerals? You say that the universe would never align so that a piece of art is made without human intervention, but the universe did align so that it could be made, you just assume humans aren't part of it. I understand that this is some faux-deep shit I'm on, but I love art and while I think good is kind of useless adjective when talking about art in general, to compare the concept of art to a tumor is a pretty bad faith take. Sorry if that was like, ironic or something and I just sent a rant into your inbox for nothing.

your faux-deep shit could never reach the faux-depths of my even shallower faux-deepness.

i think the main problem when establishing this argument in the first place was saying "all art is bad" because someone asked me if i liked any bad art, and i answered using "bad" as a shorthand for "not good". if i had known i'd be getting into this pedantic of an argument about it i definitely would have changed my wording, because things that are "not good" are not inherently "bad", which seems to be where the majority of the misunderstandings of my stance come from.

i'd ask you this: what could be considered "good" outside of something that affects humanity in some capacity? to be clear, you're absolutely right, humans ARE natural, humans ARE part of the world. but the idea of something being "good" didn't exist until humans came up with it.

100,000,000,000,000,000 light years away, two planets crash into each other, each with their own forms of biological life so different from earth's that we would find it difficult to even classify it as life if we were given the chance to observe it, but that doesn't matter because we would have never been given the opportunity to reach those planets anyway under any circumstances. is this a good thing? is it a bad thing? i don't think it's either, it's just something that happened.

because "good" and "bad" are code words used to reflect the societal values of the person using them, they cannot exist in a vacuum.

so if that's the case, and "good" and "bad" only exist to us, what does it mean to us?

well, something "good" is something with objective benefit or subjective enjoyment-- but subjective enjoyment of something can also contradict the nature of its objectivity. soup can be considered "good" because it sustains us and is therefore beneficial. soup can be considered to "taste good" because someone might enjoy the flavor. but "torture" can only be seen as "enjoyable", but it benefits nobody-- even if the person doing it enjoys it. that's just them subjectively enjoying it.

conversely, something can be objectively good but still subjectively unenjoyable, like having a soup that's healthy in a way you think tastes bad! you'd still benefit from it, even if you didn't enjoy the experience. but regardless of whether or not you enjoyed it, what has the greatest bearing on something being considered "good" is its objectivity, as it's something fewer people can debate.

now, all of that being considered, what can "art" do that is objectively good, without it serving some secondary purpose? something that is objectively good can be artistically created, like a children's hospital designed by a genius architect-- but its goodness in that case would be derived from its benefit, with the subjectivity of it being something that only enhances its good.

a piece of fabric, stretched across a wooden frame and painted using colorful oils, creates no benefit objectively, it exists solely in the world of subjectivity. how can something be "good" if the only thing it does is hold the potential (not the guarantee) for a person to look at it, and enjoy looking at it?

more importantly though, is that bad? it's not.

but it is superfluous.

^ please forgive me for typing all of this. im so sorry. it's just so easy to be pedantic. i promise im not a stick in the mud and i love art, i just also happen to be someone who is personally deeply concerned with rhetorically whittling communication down to the bare knob of its meaning (XRA style).

because it is something i find subjectively enjoyable.

[hmusunoo]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐄 - 𝐒𝐉𝐘 - RELEASED DRAFT (WILL NOT CONTINUE)

▏pairings. ROCKSTAR!JAKE x REPORTER!READER

▏desc. JAKE is sick of everyone judging him. He’s famous, loves to party and loves to fuck even more, what’s so wrong with that? When a Goody-two shoes reporter makes a highly criticizing article about him and his bandmates they don’t take it very well, enacting a plan to get her to fall in love with him and change her story.

▏warnings.partying, drug use, alcohol use (I'm being fr here y'all they do a lot of drugs)the members of enhypen as SHOUT OUT(the rock band)- except ni-ki, jungwon and sunoo. Not proof read. THIS IS A RELEASED DRAFT. IT WILL NOT BE CONTINUED, the reason I posted this draft is because I've got multiple people asking for me to post my draft of this. I won't be adding tags to it though, so if you follow me you'll see this. It wont be added to my master list either, enjoy what I thought was gonna be a very very good fic lol. I might regret this in the morning oops.

Jake's gaze had only left the girl in front of him for a brief second, the sound of the door slamming open rustling the lust filled moment that was currently happening. The girl in front of Jake jumped back, spitting Jake's dick out of her mouth in surprise. Her glitter covered eyelids lifting up widening her eyes.

"Out. now." Duri, Shout out's manager spit at the girl. Gathering her things the girl stumbled out of the open door, knees red and dignity in the dirt.

"What the fuck?" Jake slurred eyes heavy lidded "Why did you do that?" Duri's eyes lit up with annoyance. "Drink water, sober up at least a little bit and get your ass out here. We're having a band meeting in ten."

The door slammed closed behind Duri as he walked out of the old backstage dressing room that Jake was cooped up in. Jake leaned against the wall the high from the coke and booze he consumed earlier dwelling down. The haze from high now replaced with a pounding in his head and an ache behind his eyes.

Just a minute ago he was on cloud nine, the feeling of that no name girl's lips wrapped around his dick coupled with the high he felt was euphoric. It's crazy how something like that can fade instantaneously.

Jake dusted his self off adjusting his open zipper and making his way out the door sluggishly. The other members of Shout out sat on couches in the old dingy dressing rooms in the backstage of the venue they had just played at not even an hour ago.

Sunghoon was lazily slung over the arm of the sofa playing on his phone, Heeseung sat next to him head in his hands most likely sporting his usual headache that he gets after concerts.

Jay stood against the wall arms crossed a sour expression on his face as he glared at the floor. Jake rolled his eyes, he knew this was going to be one hell of a shit show if Jay was in a pissy mood. It didn't take a lot to piss the fucker off and honestly Jake wasn't in the right frame of mind to hear the bitching from their leader.

"Where the fuck were you?" Jay spit looking at Jake with his usual disdain.

"I don't have to tell you shit" Jake snarled sitting down besides Heeseung on the old couch.

"Yes the fuck you do. When it comes to affecting our band I need to know what shit you're getting us into" Jay was snarling. His anger radiating off him in waves. Jake could care less though, Jay wasn't his fucking father he didn't get to boss him around whenever he felt like it. He was a grown man and last time he checked his dad was all the way in Australia, where he left him.

"I'm a grown man. When it has nothing to do with the band I don't have to say shit to you" Jake wasn't letting down, no matter how angry Jay got. He was not backing down, not one bit.

Jay pushed himself away from the wall, making his way towards Jake finger pointed out at him, Jake lifted himself from the couch fists clenched ready for anything Jay threw at him. "You're a selfish piece of shit Sim-"

"Both of you sit the fuck down and shut the fuck up now." Duri said from the door of the dressing room, He stood arms full of papers in his hands. "Arguing like little kids." He grumbled walking into the room and slamming the stack of papers down onto the table in front of them all.

No one moved a muscle staring at the stack of papers like it were a foreign object to them. The silence was palpable as Jay was the one to finally pick up the first paper from the table eyes reading over it. His expression changed from annoyance to anger in half a second. "This is such bullshit!" He roared throwing the paper back down onto the table, sending the other copies flying around the room. One landing infront of Jake conveniently. Jake took the paper in his hands noticing the title immediately.

'SHOUT OUT SHOULD CONSIDER SHUTTING DOWN' written by Y/n l/n Jakes eyebrows scrunched ion confusion reading the words with a fierce precision. Pictures of The other members flooded the front of the article, ones from moments they felt were private to them. Pictures of booze, girls and lines of coke blurred out in almost every single one of them. Someone had been sneakily taking pictures of the bands after parties and selling it to this news firm to leak out. and better yet that news decided to write a whole article about how much of a fuck they all were.

Jake felt enraged at the words he was reading, judging him like he was some museum painting on display for the whole world to seem, and in some ways he was.

"My favorite line is where they mention that you were all kicked out of the music video awards because Jake was caught fucking Nari yun backstage, or oh! How Jay got blacklisted from Givenchy for having a freak out and punching the director" Duri went onto say pointing at the article with faux excitedness.

"Our how they mention Sunghoon crashing his brand new mustang going 90 in a residential area and living, she called compared him to superman but stupider isn't that hilarious!" Duri continued to laugh at the members who sat uncomfortably on the sofa. "she even mentioned Heeseung who was so drunk during the new years ball drop in New York that he threw up all over the front row during what was supposed to be one of the best opportunities and performances of your life in this band" He was nodding now, the laughter dying down now being replaced with an expression that could only be described as a mixture of disappointment and extreme anger.

Jake didn't know what which one he hated seeing more.

"You're all lucky I convinced this same agency to send a reporter out here and record your day to day tour life for a month to prove that you're all changed men and on your best behavior." All members looked to Duri in shock.

"What?" Heeseung said "So we have to pretend to be a bunch of pussies for a month? For what? To get the media off our backs when they should just be minding their own business any fucking way" Heeseung threw his hands in the air with annoyance.

"You'll do it if you want to keep your fucking job" Duri spit out, yet again shocking every member in the room. "The label is threatening to disband and break up Shout out. They're sick of your shit and quite frankly so am i. if you four don't get your shit together in this next coming month you can kiss your careers goodbye because after the news of your split surfaces and the cause of it, no label will ever want to work with you fuck ups ever again. This is your one and final chance to not be complete fucking losers." Sat in silence the members didn't dare utter a single word awaiting the next few words from Duri.

"You're going to have to convince the same girl who wrote that article that you've cleaned yourself up" Duri said as the last thing before storming out of the room, not even giving the members a chance to respond.

"What did he just say?" Sunghoon asked, looking at everyone "The same girl who wrote the article is coming to stalk us for an entire fucking month?"

Jay was seething his face a bright red watching the door that Duri had left out of. "Thanks to you idiots we have too convince a fucking bitch that were not dumbasses"

"Thank to us?" Jake scuffed "You too man. Not just us"

"Fuck you Sim" Jay spit "You're the biggest loser of us all" Jay stormed out of the room in the same fashion as Duri, making sure to connect his shoulder with Jake's on his way out.

"Fuck" Heeseung muttered running his hands through his hair "Were so fucked"

Jake nodded along to that, not looking forward to what was coming next.

"No" You shook your head "I'm not doing it" Your senior editor, boss and ex boyfriend Soobin sat in front oof your desk informing you of what your next assignment was going to be and it was one you didn't feel like you could do. Not after writing that article about them, they most certainly hate you and you weren't sure if you want to spend a whole month following them around.

"Its apart of the job, Y/n and you're the one were assigning this project to." Soobin had a smug look on his face, one you had grown to hate.

"You just want to get rid of me for a month, I know your game." You hissed at him. Soobin folded his hands in front of him "This is not about our previous fling y/n, this is about the job." You rolled your eyes at his audacity.

"I am your boss now Y/n you're going to have to accept that fact. This is your new assignment, if you don't accept then you're forfeiting your position." He tapped the top of your desk before rising up and walking out the door, the contract on the table in front of you posed as a shot towards your dignity. Well the very little of it that you had left anyway. Snatching the paper off the desk you read the fine print over one more time before picking up your pen and signing on the dotted line. It felt like you were signing your life away for a whole month and you suppose in some ways you were.

You were going to be stuck with four boys following them around judging their movements for a whole month. This was going to be hell.

"Hell no" Jay shouted a few days after the whole dressing room debacle. His face was red and the vein that usually popped out when he was extra angry was prominent as they all sat crowded in Heeseung and Jay's shared hotel room.

"How are they going to send the same bitch who wrote that article to come and follow us around for a month?" For the first time in forever Jake had found himself agreeing with Jay. There was no way they wanted her around them, judging them more than she already had. They had been on the cusp of losing their careers because of her and now the label expected them to suck up to her like a fucking star student, like a fucking teachers pet. Hell fucking no.

"I refuse" Jay said to Duri a look of utmost discontent on his face, Duri just laughed at him something Duri seemed to be doing a lot to them. "You don't have a choice. She'll be here within the week and you'll treat her with respect." Duri was laying it into them not giving them a single choice in the matter it was suffocating, degrading even.

"Get some rest. You all have that shoot with Calvin Klein tomorrow and she'll be there briefly to watch before she joins us for the rest of the tour next week, do not embarrass yourselves." Duri declared before making his way out the room.

All four members signed in frustration the events as of late weighing on them. "I need a drink" Heeseung grunted into his hands. "Or more" Jake smirked rummaging through his pants and pulling out a small baggy containing a white powdery substance.

"What the fuck dude" Jay hissed at Jake "We were just told not even ten minutes ago to be on our best behavior and you go ahead and pull that shit out?" Jay ran his hands through his hair in frustration but all three boys stared at him knew how much he wanted a bump too.

Jake knew it wouldn't take too much convincing to get Jay to chill the fuck out and have fun with them.

"Do you know how fucking child like it makes us seem when you say shit like 'be On our best behavior' were grown men" Jake said patting Jay on the back "besides were in the hotel room, what that reporter doesn't know won't hurt her" Jay looked as if he were thinking for a second milling over the idea before nodding.

Snatching the bag from Jake, Jay muttered a "This is the last time"

Soon all four boys were lazily slung over the bed and floor of the hotel room dazed out talking about the most random of things. Sunghoon sat up suddenly from his position on the floor. "I have an idea" A smirk was on his face as he looked over at the other members. Sluggishly Jake looked to Sunghoon waiting to see what his grand idea was.

"This reporter. Let's fuck with her" Sunghoon said. "What do you mean?" Heeseung asked now sitting up himself.

"She won't write badly about us if she's a fan or something" Sunghoon posed "Maybe we make her a fan"

"and how would we do that? If she's not already a fan of us now how would we get her to like us going forward." Heeseung questioned, a good question indeed. It would be hard to get her to enjoy their music if she didn't already, she certainly has to have heard their music.

"what if we don't make her a fan though, what if we get her to fall in love with one of us...string her along until she writes something good about us and then dump her after?" Jay asked the group. Jake still laid on the floor blearily looking up at the ceiling fan as it spun round and round. Truthfully he wasn't paying much attention to what the others were saying, he was in his own world entirely.

"Jake!" Sunghoon shouted bringing Jake out of his daze. "Huh?" Jake slurred looking up at Sunghoon who now towered over him.

"You down to do that for us?" He asked, Jake had no idea what he was saying. None at all but sill he found himself nodding at him agreeing to whatever it was that they needed from him. The thought oof possibly regretting his decision not even crossing his mind.

The day Jake woke up with a pounding headache and no advil near by to relieve it. Struggling to get out his bed he sees that Sunghoon is already awake and getting ready for the shoot.

"Duri called up, we gotta be down at the lobby in ten minutes." He called from the bathroom. Jake's eyes widened, rushing to his suitcase he pulled to the first few items that he could find, throwing them on in feeble attempt at rushing.

"Why the hell didn't you wake me earlier, asshole?" Jake grunted throwing his hoodie over his head.

"You looked so dreamy sleeping, I couldn't disturb your beauty sleep" Sunghoon teased with a smirk on his face. The two boys made their way down stairs to the lobby of the hotel. Meeting up with Jay, Heeseung and Duri.

"You look like shit." Duri said with a grunt at Jake. Jake just held up his middle finger at the man before making the small journey to the private van that was waiting for them outside. The screams from fans was Jake heard as he rushed out the door of the hotel. The flashing lights of paparazzi temporarily blinded him. It made his headache ten times worse, the pounding behind his eyes not letting up for even a single second.

Heeseung groaned in frustration as soon as all four boys were seated in the back seat of the van.

"Jesus Christ" Heeseung said looking out the window of the van. "I never get used to the craziness that comes with this lifestyle."

"But hey! at least the pussies good!" Sunghoon roared with laughter gaining looks of disgust from his fellow members.

"Do you gotta be so vulgar?" Jake asked "Its 8:30am dude."

Sunghoon rolled his eyes "Its not like you weren't thinking the same thing."

The rest of the ride to the shoot was filled with a comfortable silence, everyone in the car hungover from the night before not really looking forward to doing this shoot. Unfortunately the girl who wrote that article was coming and they had to try their very best to leave a good impression so she didn't feel so inclined to write another bad review after she shadows them for thee next month.

"Alright, let's get in and get this over with." Duri spoke as soon as the van made its stop in front of the building they would be doing the shoot in. Once out of the door and in the building Jake felt like he could breathe just a little more.

He was tired of being in that moving car the hangover wasn't doing his harrowing car sickness justice, it was making it so much worse. He was just glad they had stopped and he was able to get out before he puked all over the van and its occupants.

"Hey Sim" Jay called over to Jake getting his and the other two boys attention before entering the building. "remember what we talked about last night alright?" Truthfully Jake very much didn't really recall much of their conversation last night.

The confusion must have been evident because it had Jay sighing out loud, his fist bunching before he hissed out at Jake a quick "Dumbass, you don't remember?"

Jake shook his head "I was high as shit man what the fuck"

"Get the reporter to fall in love with you." Heeseung said in Jake's ear.

"Wait!" Jake protested "Why do I have to do it?"

"We talked about this last night" Jay shook his head grabbing his nose between his fingers in frustration. "You're the best one for it."

Jake sighed out loud looking over at the three boys before nodding his head "Fine, fine fuck ill do it"

This was the last place you wanted to be at today. The sheer amount of busy people running around like chickens with their heads cut off was overwhelming. You felt it hard to breathe in the stuffiness of the close proximity of everyone.

You hadn't caught wind of shout out quite yet and for that you were thankful. You didn't want to come face to face with the four boys that you completely slandered just yet. Even though you knew that's exactly what you were here for. It didn't help that you had Soobin and his skank assistant, Somi trailing behind them watching your every move.

"They should be here any minute" Soobin whispered to you, too close for comfort might you add. You stepped back from him slightly to add room between the two of you. Sending Soobin a nod of confirmation that you heard him.

You looked around the room at all the set ups they had for the boys slightly intrigued in the artistic aspects of it.

"There they are!" The shrill voice that was Somi said from her spot besides Soobin. She pointed over at the door where the members of Shout out were walking through. The screams from their fans were heard from outside the door sending you cringing at the thought of constantly being around that for the next coming month.

Soobin began walking towards the group who were immediately being approached by a few of the staff from Calvin Klein who were more than likely just explaining the event lineup for today. Soobin inserted himself into the conversation with ease laughing and joking with the members and their Manager rather quickly.

"Here is Y/n she'll be the one following you around for the next month or so" Soobin explained pointing over at you.

"Observing, not following" You corrected Soobin rolling your eyes at him "You make me sound like a stalker and not a reporter." Surely you should not be reprimanding your boss in front go people like the members of shouts out but honestly you didn't really care.

Soobin would do any and everything to try to demean you in front of important people and you just couldn't allow him to do that. He had already taken so much of your dignity you'd be damned if you let him take more.

Soobin's eyes turned to slits at you for only a brief awkward second before a big fake smile over turned his face. He looked over to the band once more clapping his hands in faux excitedness "Yes, observing." He said.

All four boys hardly looked at you, something you were prepared for. you knew that they weren't particularly looking forward to your company and you in turn felt the same exact way. Partying and drugs wasn't something you were interested in and you were petrified to see just how much of that they truly did.

Jay's eyes were looking at you with an intense gaze. It didn't look very friendly, it had you looking everywhere but at him. Your eyes trailed to Jake Sim one of the most notorious fuck boys in the industry right now. It was polarizing how attractive he was.

You had to remind yourself to keep your resolve when his eyes met yours. A smirk ghosting his lips, it made you felt tingly and honestly a little wet. He licked his lips his eyes trailing over the expanse of your body.

You tried your best to muster up a look of disgust, shooting an icy glare his way. You looked away from him with a roll of your eyes, no matter how attractive these four men were you had to remind yourself of who they were. You could not allow yourself to fall into the trap of Jake Sim. No matter how badly your body wanted you to.

"Well the boys are going to be getting ready for the shoot you're more then welcome to shadow us." Duri sent you a small smile that was warm and welcoming. You smiled making a move to walk behind the band as they made their way to the hair and makeup stands but a hand on your elbow yanked you back before you could go.

"How dare you disrespect me in front of them" Soobin hissed in your face, it was a quiet whisper but the meaning was pretty loud.

"i didn't" You deadpanned "I only corrected you-"

"That was disrespectful" Somi interjected. Your blood boiled at the sound of her voice and her audacity to interrupt your conversation.

"Mind your own business" You hissed at Somi, She just sent a smirk your way as she snaked her arm around Soobin's in a mock towards you.

"You should really watch how you talk to your boss" Your face was red with anger and to be frank you were embarrassed. How dare she talk to you that way? The nerve of her.

"Unlike some people I'm not going to suck up to my boss" You snickered "We all know where that got you" Somi's eyes widened in surprise at your harrowing words.

"How dare yo-" She began to shriek before Soobin cut in his voice sharp "Cut it out." Her mouth closed like an obedient little house wife.

Before the conversation could go any further you spun on your heels and followed tin the direction that the band went. Not looking back to see if Somi and Soobin were behind you.

You opened your notepad that you had been carrying readying yourself to take notes on how the band reacted to hair and makeup. In truth you were mainly watching Jay. He was notorious at blowing up at things like this.

Someone always pissed Jay off, always.

"Ready to find something incriminating on us?" A voice said from behind you causing you to jump slightly whipping around to find the culprit behind the voice.

"You scared me!" You yelped out, hand against your chest. Jake sim stood in front of you in all his glory.

"Sorry about that" He smiled "Didn't mean to scare you."

“Yeah well you did.” You glared. You realized how rude you were being but you didn’t want too seem vulnerable to him. You weren’t one of these groupie impressionable girls that would fall at his feet. You were here to work, and that was all.

“sooo” Jake trailed off awkwardly “How was your day?” He asked, his accent thick.

You arched a brow at him, stifling a chuckle. “What’s with the formalities? Don’t you have a shoot to be getting ready for?”

“Well i just figured since we’d be spending so much time together that i would come over and introduce myself to you.” His sheepishly cute smile was back on his face and it made you impossibly hot to look at.

How were you to survive a whole month of this?

“I know who you are though” You stated “In fact, i know all about you.”

“You know nothing about me.” He snapped, taking you aback at his tone. You stepped back an inch surprise written all over your face. Quickly Jake shook his head.

“I’m sorry” He imposed “I just meant..you don’t know the real me, and i certainly don’t know you.” It was impressive how quickly he recovered from what seemed like such angry emotions. It had you wondering if acting was something he should have take part in.

“You don’t need to know me.” You snipped. Chin high you said “I’m here to observe you.”

“Well sure but -“ He was cut off by the voice of Jay calling to him. “Sim! We need you over here man”

“You better go” You said to Jake. Jake nodded looking you over once again, making his way towards the place that jay had called him from.

"Did you talk to her?" Heeseung whispered to Jake as they sat watching Sunghoon's portion of the shoot.

"I tried to but Jay interrupted just as I was getting somewhere" Jake said an annoyed expression on his face.

"Do you think it's going to be easy to bag her?" Heeseung asked. Jake shook his head no with a sigh. "She seemed to hate me, made all these assumptions about me."

Heeseung let out a low whistle "This is going to be hard" Hands in his pockets he sat back on his chair a defeated look on his face.

"Yup" Jake said popping the 'p' "She's definitely going to take some convincing but I think I'll be able to do it."

"I believe in you bro" Heeseung said.

Jake just wanted to take the edge off of everything going on as of late. It was the first night of tour approximately An hour and a half before shout out was due to be on stage and Jake just needed a minute.

One of the new background dancers were eyeing him all rehearsal and who was he to deny the undeniably want in her eyes. He convinced her to occupy his dressing room with him to 'talk'. That talk quickly turned into him being deep inside her instead.

If Jake was being honest her moans were kind of annoying and a little bit distracting but the feel of her tight pussy kept him grounded.

"fuck, fuck, fuck" The girl chanted from underneath him on the dingy sofa of this awful dressing room. "I'm going to cum" She panted racking her long acrylic nails down his back.

"Don't leave marks" He hissed, he hated marks. The girl didn't seem to be listening to Jake continuing to rake her nails up and down his back. Jake's hips snapped against hers in a blurry rush to get to end.

"I'm going to cum!" She chanted loudly in Jake's ear, he cringed a bit at the sound wondering if anyone from outside could hear her. She wasn't even trying to be quiet.

Soon, the girl reached her end. Jake followed suit pulling out to dump his load all over her stomach and chest. His chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath.

Jake zipped his pants and flattened his shirt out muttering a small "Thanks" he said to the girl not offering to help her clean up. He opened the door and immediately bumped into a small frame.

You stood there, face as white as a sheet fist up like you were getting ready to knock on the door. Jake cursed, judging by the color of your face and the expression of disgust you wore you had definitely heard what was going on in here. Jake knew that this was already a terrible start to this Month and that she was surely bound to write about this in her article if he didn't change her mind.

But how was he supposed to get her to fall for him if he was out here fucking different girls in random dressing rooms.

"Duri needed your for sound check" Y/n said curtly. You wanted no part in what had just transpired. The sheer embarrassment from hearing the loud moans was enough to unsettle your stomach. it was day one and you already felt sick to your stomach. Slapping yourself for ever even thinking him attractive when you first talked at the Calvin Klein shoot.

As soon as you went to turn around the door behind Jake opened again. A girl walked out, one who was clearly a background dancer of the tour. Her hair and makeup were a mess and she worse an expression of embarrassment on her face as soon as she seen the two of you standing outside the door.

"Sorry" The girl mumbled putting her head down so that her long hair would frame her face and hide the reddening of her cheeks in the process.

"Hmm" You hummed out before turning on your heels to get as far from the situation as you could.

"Hey, wait" Jake said from behind you. Jogging to catch up with your long strides. "I'm sorry" He said when he was finally caught up, walking directly next to you.

"Why are you apologizing?" You asked. You decided to act stupid too the situation, not wanting to really go over the details of it. You were going to write it down in your note pad and then hopefully burn the sounds from your memory. What a roaring start to your time here.

"Come on" Jake sighed "You and I both know what you seen-"

"I didn't see anything" You corrected. Emphasis on the see. "I did hear something though."

"I'm sorry-" You cut him off again, not in the mood of the excuses of the explanations you just wanted the whole conversation out of your head.

"Don't." You cringed at him "Lets just not talk about it" You made another move too turn around once again but Jake still hadn't felt like letting the conversation go.

"You're going to write about it in your article aren't you?" He asked walking in front of you to prevent you from moving.

Finding not reason to lie you told him the utmost truth even if you knew it was not something he wanted to hear "I am." You nodded at him. His face changed in a split second and if you weren't such an observant person you might have missed it. He was angry, something you expected but still resented.

This was your job, this is what you were here for after all. Did he expect you not to write about what you had just heard. It was obvious he needed a reality check, and soon.

He flashed me a very obviously fake grin "Of course" He nodded curtly "Of course you are." He turned away from you before joining the rest of his bandmates that were tirelessly waiting for him to start rehearsing.

The sigh you let out was heavy as you grabbed your notebook from your bag, you had a feeling by the end of this month that you were going to have filled at least three of these with things you've observed. These boys were a lot already and you were extra nervous to see just how much more was in store.

The show had ended without a hitch. The fans screamed crazily as Shout out exited the stage for the final time tonight. You'd be lying if you didn't say you enjoyed yourself. The energy was live and the band had seemed like they were really letting loose and having fun. It was exhilarating to see.

"Y/n" A voice called to you as you were packing up your stuff for the night, save for your notebook. There was an after party that you were obligated to go to (per soobin's orders) and you had a strong inkling that you would need it there.

You turned to see Duri calling you over to where him and the Members were. You caught a glimpse of Jake and mentally cringed remembering the events that happened earlier.

"I understand you'll be at the after party correct?" Duri asked you when you walked up tot them. You sent him a quick nod holding up the notebook in your hand "I sure will be" You smirked at the boys in front of you who had looked anything but happy at the thought of you being around for their party. In fact the only person who seemed even remotely excited by the idea was Duri himself.

Jay let out a soft scoff but said nothing. You sent the boy a condescending smile but said nothing further as well.

"Great" Duri said clapping his hands "You can ride with us if you'd like" He motioned towards himself and the boys beside's him. You shook your head no, you were already going to be stuck in a room with them all night you didn't also want to be stuck in a car with them.

"That's quite alright" You smiled warmly "I'll just uber over, I have to go to the hotel room anyway to get ready before."

"Well, suit yourself we'll see you there" He sent you one final nod before he was walking off leaving The four boys to awkwardly stand there next to you.

"I don't think we properly met." Heeseung said holding his hand out to you. Reluctantly you attached your hand in his. "Y/n."

"We're excited to get to know you this month" He said sticking his hands in his pockets nonchalantly.

"I'm sure you are" You spoke with an arrogance one you know had annoyed the boys, especially Jay who could not for the life of him stop glaring at you, eyes shining with a hatred you had only ever seen a few times in your life. Mainly from Somi, might you add.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jay spit out. You were going tot lie you hadn't expected his brazen tone at all. You had assumed he would be keeping it a bit more cordial with you. In honestly whaat were you expecting from a hot head like Jay park.

You cocked your head at the boy, not allowing him to see you fazed at all. Choosing not to engage further you just flashed thee four a smile and said "I'll see you all tonight"

The sounds of muttered curse words were all you heard as you made your way from them, towards the door of the venue.

When you entered the club that the after party was taking place you noticed that it was in full swing, full of people drinking and dancing having the times of their lives. This was definitely not your setting whatsoever. You felt completely out of place here. You wore an outfit that was definitely not club attire. Looking for the boys you wandered around the club like a lost puppy for the better half of an hour.

"are you ok?" A deep voice spoke from behind you, stopping you in your wondering tracks. You whipped your head around coming face to face with a man you had never seen before.

"What?" You said startled by his beautiful face. "Uh, yeah i'm looking for shout out..I'm supposed to be at their after party.." You trailed off. The man chuckled quirking an eyebrow at you in a mocking way.

"Sorry sweetheart but they don't really allow fangirls in this early into the party, they wait until they're ready to ...go home. if you catch my drift.." The look of disgust you sent must have been grueling as the boy's face fell the smirk no longer on his face.

"I'm not a fangirl" You spoke with authority but you had a feeling that no matter how much you tried to appear professional this man wasn't go to hear not one word you had to say clearly. He was as drunk as a skunk, sloppily at that. "I'm working on an article on them and need to be where they are virtually at all times so if you would be please just let me know where they are that would be great."

The boy went back to laughing, at you. The anger you felt in your chest was a simmering mess. "Are you seriously laughing at me right now?" You raged. You knew how this looked; sitting here arguing with a drunk egotistical man but you couldn't help it. Your pride would not allow you to go down that easily.

"No can do sweetheart-"

"Stop calling me that." You grumbled crossing your arms over your chest like a child being scolded.

"No can do girl" You scoffed at him as he continued "Do you know how many people guise as all sorts of occupations to see them. I can't tell you-"

"Fuck you. I'll find my own way-" A hand grabbed at your forearm as you went to turn away, yanking you back against him.

"Don't even think about it" He grumbled. You moved to yank your arm from his scalding grip but he wouldn't allow it, holding on tight with a death grip.

"Let. me. go" You seethed at him.

"I told you, you can't see-"

"Hey!" A familiar voice bellowed out. Jake was walking towards the two of you, his eyebrows scrunched in what seemed like anger.

"Jake dude-" Jake cut the boy off before he could get another word out. "Let her go right now."

"dude.. she's a fucking groupie" Jake rolled his eyes in annoyance "She's that journalist we were telling you about you dumbass." A look of stark realization presented itself on the face of thee boy you still didn't know the name of.

"Oh." He said letting your now burning arm go.

"I told you that you fucking asshole" You reeled. Jake's eyes widened at your choice of words but you couldn't find it in yourself to care. The professional act left as soon as this man put his fucking hands on you. "but because I'm a woman my words mean nothing apparently you fucking-"

"Alright alright..let's go" Jake said softly putting his hand to your shoulder to guide you away from the very stupid man who stood there in silence as you got ready to berate him.

"I'm sorry about Tae.. he's a little drunk." Jake enunciated once again.

"Whatever" You clipped out at him, the situation draining all your energy for the night. You really hadn't felt like staying the rest of the night here for a bunch of drunk people if you were being completely honest.

"Do you want to get out of here? We don't even have to go to the party if you don't want to" Jake insisted, practically reading your mind.

"I have to be here." You sighed "No matter how I don't want to be here it's apart of my job."

"I'll go with you." He persisted "You'll still technically be doing your job, you'll just be observing me only."

You thought about it for a second and in all honestly it sounded like such a better idea then being here it this loud club where you were already sporting a massive headache, the strobe lights and pounding music not helping to ease the ache growing behind your eyes.

"I'm not going to sleep with you." You stood firm. Jake's eyes widened "No-no I-i wasn't I just- we just" He sputtered out. "That wasn't my intention."

"Ok" You nodded "Then lets go, I have a headache"

[ssaltlicker]

Man aggretsukos ending was underwhelming.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

wooooo warlock Wally and his delightful totally normal patron

[thefirstknife]

New article with more details (from Jason Schreier who first broke the story). If you can't see it, I'll copy the whole text under read more.

About 100 employees were laid off in total (8%) and one of the main reasons listed is "underperformance," "sharp drop in popularity" and "poor reception of Lightfall."

So you know when for the last year and a half content creators have been shitting and pissing on the game as a full-time job and the amount of negativity and ragebait content became the only thing to make content about for them? Well they certainly won't take the blame, but I will let it be known. These people either don't understand the influence they have or they do and they're doing it on purpose, and I don't know which of these two options is worse, but I am 100% confident that their campaign of rage and hate contributed to this.

You don't base your entire community around constantly hating everything about the only game you play (despite clearly not enjoying it anymore) and somehow avoid galvanising thousands and thousands of people into perceiving the game negatively. Imagine being employees who have barely worked there for 2 years and the only community reception they've seen is 24/7 hate train for their work and then they get fired because of "poor reception" and "drop in popularity." How can they not take that personally? I am absolutely devastated for these people who delievered a banger product and who were met with an unrelenting barrage of toxic gamer children which ended up having more sway over their boss than them.

Which brings me to the next bit and that's FUCK THE CEO. He is now my mortal enemy #1. I am projecting psychic blasts directly into his brain. What an absolute spineless coward who is more willing to bow down to fucking gamers than to protect his own employees. This is absolutely rage inducing because this has happened before. From the article from 2021 about the toxic culture at Bungie:

Reading this shit from the new article absolutely fucking sent me into blind rage because I immediately remembered this. Another instance of employees suffering because of comments on reddit. And because of toxic players. And proof that leadership is not protecting employees and is instead siding with players.

Match made in heaven. Asshole gamer content creators and asshole CEOs, all of whom sit at home on piles of money made from someone else's labour. I hope they all explode. None of the people that worked on this game deserve this.

Another article with an infuriating comment from the CEO:

In an internal town hall meeting addressing a Monday round of layoffs that impacted multiple departments, Bungie CEO Pete Parsons allegedly told remaining employees that the company had kept “the right people” to continue work on Destiny 2.

"Kept the right people." Really. Veteran composers weren't the right people? Die!

Bloomberg article in full:

Bungie’s decision to cut an estimated 100 jobs from its staff of about 1,200 followed dire management warnings earlier this month of a sharp drop in the popularity of its flagship video game Destiny 2. Just two weeks ago, executives at the Sony-owned game developer told employees that revenue was running 45% below projections for the year, according to people who attended the meeting. Chief Executive Officer Pete Parsons pinned the big miss on weak player retention for Destiny 2, which has faced a poor reception since the release of its latest expansion, Lightfall. The next expansion, The Final Shape, was getting good — not great feedback — and management told those present that they planned to push back the release to June 2024 from February, according the people, who asked not to be identified because they weren’t authorized to speak publicly. The additional time would give developers a chance to improve the product. In the meantime, Parsons told staff Bungie would be cutting costs, such as for travel, as well as implementing salary and hiring freezes, the people said. Everyone would have to work together to weather the storm, he said, leaving employees feeling determined to do whatever was needed to get revenue back up. But on Monday morning the news got worse: Dozens of staffers woke up to mysterious 15-minute meetings that had been placed on their calendars, which they soon learned were part of a mass layoff. Bungie laid off around 8% of its employees, according to documentation reviewed by Bloomberg. Bungie didn’t respond to requests for comment. Employees who were let go will receive at least three months of severance and three months of Bungie-paid COBRA health insurance, although other benefits, such as expense reimbursements, ended Monday, sending some staff racing to submit their receipts. Laid-off staffers will also receive prorated bonuses, although those who were on a vesting schedule following Sony Group Corp.’s acquisition of Bungie in January 2022 will lose any shares that weren’t vested as of next month. The layoffs are part of a larger money-saving initiative at Sony’s PlayStation unit, which has also cut employees at studios such as Naughty Dog, Media Molecule and its San Mateo office. TD Cowen analyst Doug Creutz wrote in a report Monday that “events over the last few days lead us to believe that PlayStation is undergoing a restructuring.” PlayStation president Jim Ryan announced last month that he plans to resign. Many of the layoffs at Bungie affected the company’s support departments, such as community management and publishing. Remaining Bungie staff were informed that some of those areas will be outsourced moving forward.

[vandser]

what if there was a rusame fic in which alfred introduces ivan to alphabet soup and ivan, being mentally unstable, becomes convinced that the random jumbles of letters in his bowl are all divine commands and breaks his pretty head decoding them so he can follow them. and then when he does decode them they're all like 'go court that blond man with no situational awareness' and 'go buy your alfred flowers' and the occasional 'maim this man' and 'commit arson'.

[kidrunaway]

I still exist guys

do not tag as ship

[fraternum-momentum]

wait waht weirdos?? also could we know your boundaries regarding your ocs? they’re really cool but it would be nice to know what is allowed and what isnt for making a character for this au. thanks 🤍🤍

Fortunately, there hasn't been any weird people in my inbox but some shit happened and i'd rather not elaborate bc it's not in my place to tell you about it, but for context, the gist of it was people were fighting over this person's oc and the creator and other people are getting harrased for it.

Another mutual of mine told me that they also had unpleasant experiences with an old blog of theirs, and they had to delete it bc of it.

I just don't want any infighting or harassment getting sent to other people over something that's honestly not that serious.

People design and create characters because it's fun. Why ruin it for everyone else?

Just please keep it all lighthearted and don't make it weird. Constantly check yourself and ask if what you're doing is ok or think about how your actions affect other people.

Reality checks are also important. Please keep in mind that these are just fictional characters in a fictional universe that i just made up. None of this shit is real.

ok so i'll establish the boundaries for my ocs:

Fanart is ok, sfw and nsfw. Thirsts in my inbox, tags, and comments are fine too, they're pretty funny actually AHSVA it's like wow is this what it feels like having bitches? LMAWDOAD but i digress.

I'm still unsure about ship art, because it'll inevitably get messy if i start allowing it. So for now, it's not allowed. I would be the only person that can draw my ocs interacting with your ocs/sonas/etc. Just think of it as like some sort of weird rp chatbot askblog or some shit,, i dont know.

I know it may seem hypocritical of me because i literally have a self insert but its just better to prevent potential shit from happening than finding a solution for it.

If ship art not being allowed somehow upsets you, then that's a sign that you're not welcome here.

My sona is a different story though, because it's basically just a representation of me so you can draw her ( or me??? idk lol) with your character. same thing, sfw and nsfw are okay. Thrists are fine (who would even do that anyway 💀💀) like i doubt anyone would start causing problems from me interacting with other ppl bc im a real person???????? idk??????? 😭ive alr drawn stuff with my mutuals too anyway so

[bunnihearted]

🐁☁️🌫️

[loveinsomesacredplace]

There is no version of the story that has Belly ending up with Con that exists as a happy ending to me.

[blujayonthewing]

so in juniper's campaign we've just found ourselves in a high-stakes situation that I as a player do frankly find stressful and am anxious about, but hey hi also the DM was like 'okay here are the exact mechanics of how this is going to work because I don't want to surprise you with serious repercussions, also here are all the options you will have to try to do something about the situation-- [affected player] what do you think? honest feedback, I don't want it to feel unfair, I want to be clear that I am not just trying to kill your character, and if it ends up being badly balanced we can revisit it down the road' and oh my god I could COLLAPSE and WEEP with gratitude

[whatudottu]

I have a question what were Annie's og parents like(i mean she was willing to run away with five aliens to be her fathers instead so I don't think they might have been the best😬) or maybe they're dead and were good people idk

A lot of the lore is actually written by @sweetpeaches666, who may be tagged under sugarbutterfly432, thanks to Annie technically being a 3 way OC lmao. There has been nothing solidly concrete about Annie's OG parents beyond the fact that she doesn't know her ancestry and she's had many foster homes AND orphanages to live in (plus it'd also be easier legal wise for the Andromeda 5 to adopt her if she isn't officially someone else's kid at the time)

It's actually why she does ballet, one of her foster mothers wanted to recreate her failed dream, turns out it breeds resentment and a lot of running away :P

What can be said is that Annie's been many different homes and in a constant state of transitioning between them, a prime example of being a refunded kid and all that, something something No Roots by Alice Merton yada yada 'oh no that's relatable'. Her birth parents one way or another have never been in her life, though regardless of what actually happened Annie will always believe that they left her behind like like everyone else did :P

[languri]

Honestly considering changing my career to a school bus driver after whatever happened in the local news yesterday

[tariah23]

Well, I’m still glad that Gojo was always a character who was growing and learning at least. He’s literally one of my favorite characters of all time now. Like, he’s never been as perfect as how the fans would make him out to be despite canonically being viewed as an absolute nuisance to everyone around him (I don’t think his peers necessarily hate him but a lot of them probably hate to see him coming and the ones who’ve dealt with him long enough to consider him a friend, tolerate him and groan whenever he opens his mouth, too 😭… out of love. He’s extremely childish so there is only sm the other adults around him can take and to an extent, his students. I think the only characters in canon who adore him and their eye’s sparkle whenever he’s around, and being a silly teacher was Yuuji and Miwa (she asked him for his autograph (he’s the most famous sorcerer in the jjk world) and when she was alone, she did a little dance in the empty hallway 🥺…) from what we’ve seen even though the others still care about him, too. They just find him rather annoying, which he most definitely is. And he does it on purpose. He plays too much.)

[magnoliamyrrh]

.