#whats your wife doing right now?

[ramayantika]

So Barbie was man hating but Animal should be taken as a movie

[alluralater]

I HAD A DREAM ABOUT YOU TONIGHT

I was at my uni for graduating (? I think? But also it was like a Squad Captain promotion ceremony from my stupid manga) and also there were students from the Archeology study in the same building giving like their thesis presentations publically. Anyway you're there in the crowd cause I assume someone you know is presenting and we meet up and hang out afterward. I'm like flirting but ✨respectfully✨ cause my wife is also there and we've talking about poly stuff but idk if we're rlly there yet so like I'm staying on the safe side. But then you and her REALLY click and end up fuckin nasty in the lab supply room that I still had a working access card for and I'm just left there with your Archeology friend guy who's now trying to get in my pants cause that's the vibe now apparently.

I hate how my brain denies me of any fun even in dreams I fuckin swear this keeps happening. The dreams feel so real so my decision making is also like as though it's just real life :')

Anyway I think I'd die if you showed up randomly in like someplace I also go to.

… i described a sex dream to my best friend like a year ago about me fucking some really hot girl in a lab room but she had a partner but the partner wasn’t there for a lot of it. but before THAT happened, i was at some event for someone’s fucking graduation and the only reason i knew was because i read some signs and i heard some people talking when i was walking in. but it was a dream so my contextual info was pretty low. and so okay i remember flirting hardcore like a LOT with this couple and i thought one of them went there because they knew their way around and im eventually in this lab and this girl is eating me out and honestly it was super hot. like super fucking hot. i (to this day) can still remember how her tongue felt. this is so funny what the fuck. i wonder if i have any notes on my phone about it. like i woke up and i came seven times in a row because of that dream. i was telling my best friend that i was annoyed though because i wanted to fuck both of them (the couple, and i honestly wasn’t even TOTALLY sure if they were together but they completely gave me that vibe and they were very like secure in each other’s space so i assumed yes) but i couldn’t because one left/wasn’t there when i looked up again??? like i had my fingers in the hair of the one eating me out and when i looked up the other one was gone?? i was like damn that sucks, oh well i guess. say sike right now. tell me you’re fuckin with me

[softquietsteadylove]

Hey love! So, I know you already have the proposal au, but I was wondering if you could do an arranged marriage au. And basically, Gilgamesh is in the mafia and Thena's horrible abusive father (Arishem) steals money or drugs from him that Thena doesn't know anything about. And Gilgamesh and his men just show up to her home while Thena's not there and when she comes back she finds out that she's being forced to marry Gilgamesh (which she's not that mad about bc Gil is fine asf🤭). But Thena is basically just shocked and she has to get used to being treated how she should and with princess treatment (like opening her door, giving her gifts just because, etc) Maybe a little age gap like Thena's in her early 20s, Gil is in his Early 30s👀. Also maybe like Gil gives her princess treatment but disrespectful in bed vibes😜.

But anyways I love you and your whole existence and when I found your Tumblr acc it quite literally the happiest day of my life and I literally would kill for you. You're my whole world I live for all your posts and sit waiting everyday for you to post. You are the best thing that happened to me and I'm so grateful you're alive. I love you so much!😘❤️

"Thena?"

She startled, but a warm yet gentle hand touched her shoulder, "hey, it's okay. It's me--I'm sorry to startle you."

She looked around her. She wasn't at home--well, she was. She was no longer in her father's home, where falling asleep out in the open could lead to her getting her hair pulled if he was feeling particularly inebriated and particularly mean spirited.

She was home, in her home with Gilgamesh. It was a massive, modern and sprawling house. She had her own room, despite sharing the house with her husband. It had its own walk-in closet and full bathroom suite. He had installed a library having found out that she liked to read (that was all the incentive he needed, apparently). The only thing her room didn't have was a kitchen, and Gilgamesh did all the cooking anyway.

The first two weeks, when she wouldn't emerge from her room at all, he would leave trays out for her to take inside where she felt safe.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, speaking softly and moving so she could see him, showing her his hands. "I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. I wanted to see if you were hungry, or if you wanted to move into your room."

A gangster for a husband, and he made sure her room was always open for her, that only she was allowed in it, unless there was any house keeping she wanted done. He had even hired a female cleaner, specifically in hopes of making her feel more comfortable.

"Thank you," she smiled at him, hoping to assuage his fears of scaring her. She let the book on her lap fall closed and curled her legs up under the blanket thrown over her. "Sorry, dozed off between chapters."

"You don't have to apologise," he assured her, moving slowly as he took a seat on the sofa. He wasn't at the far end of it, but it was more than enough space for her to feel separate from him. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "Are you okay? You seemed to be having a bad dream."

She was. Even removed as she was from that place, sometimes she would think was waking in her room, her desperate attempts to start a real career crammed into the corner of her room where her father wouldn't know to go digging for money.

The crinkle of her clothes in plastic bags so that he couldn't get them all wreaking of alcohol before a job interview. The way she would walk on the balls of her feet so as not to wake him when he was passed out on the couch in the middle of the day. The fear that every knock on the door would be another debt collector.

"Hey," Gilgamesh said as softly as he could again, "what do you need?"

If she hadn't woken from such a terrible dream she might swoon. It was almost a shame their relationship was one of contract. Gilgamesh was very good at seeming romantic.

She inhaled, putting on a braver face. "Some food sounds good."

"Okay," he nodded. His hand hovered, as if he would pat her knee under her blanket. But he stood instead, pulling himself away from her. "I can do that."

Thena stood, nearly slipping on the stairs of the elevated seating area to follow him into the kitchen. "Do you need any help?"

He did let his surprise show on his face, and instances like these she was reminded of the menacing - as well as cocky - gangster who had first appeared in her home and informed her of their marriage. "Setting a fire?--no, sweetheart, thank you."

She huffed, and she even managed to get a chuckle out of him. Laughing suited him more. "You must have had a hard day."

He immediately looked at her, trying to tell how any clue of how his work had gone could have slipped through the cracks. He worked very hard to keep all aspects of his business out of their home life.

She leaned against the spotless granite island/sink. "You seem more tense than usual."

He didn't rise to her bait, focusing on putting together a meal for her--for them.

But she was in the mood to poke the bear, as it were--the big grizzly teddybear in the pinstripe suit. "I figured I would get a 'no need, princess', at least."

He shook his head at her, pulling out a clay pot and retrieving the ingredients necessary. For a man living outside the law, he really was a great cook. "No need for a house fire--that's true."

"I am not that bad," she insisted, rising to her own bait if need be.

Gil - not Gilgamesh but Gil - finally looked at her with a little more mirth. He even chuckled, "Need I remind you of the eggs?"

She rolled her eyes at him. He had this big, beautiful kitchen, and she was home alone all the time. And sometimes she didn't want to wait for delivery to make it all the way to the house (and past security) while Gil was at work. She had figured making herself some eggs couldn't possibly go wrong.

"The hob at our-" she paused and moved on like it was nothing- "at my old place would take ages to heat up. I could never have known that this monstrosity can boil water in under a minute."

Gil glanced towards his very fancy oven on the other counter and then back to her. "Who turns the heat up all the way to make eggs in a pan?"

She shrugged, "they cook faster."

Gil let out a real laugh now, finally relaxing some as he finally started preparing the veggies. She could tell he was enjoying it when he slid them onto an angle to slice them. If it were strictly business he would cut them into little cubes instead. He shook his head. "I told you not to lift a finger while you're here."

That was true. After the fire had been put out, her housekeeping companion had insisted she simply ask if she wanted a meal. It was part of her requirements for the job and everything! Which was a little insulting, no matter how aware of her own cooking habits Thena was.

"I thought men wanted a wife who would cook for them as soon as they got home."

But Gil didn't latch onto her joke. He put down his knife, slowly and gently. He dried his hands on the hand towel below. Then he moved towards her, holding his hands out and asking for hers.

She watched as he did, curious enough to give her hands over to him. He held them so gently, even as he brought them up to his lips to kiss the back of each. She shivered.

He opened his eyes, peering down at her as he stroked her hand with his thumb. "Those aren't men. And you are not just 'a wife', Thena."

Did he want her to fall in love with him or not? The times when he was at work, and then completely secretive about it at home really seemed that he didn't. It seemed that he was upholding his end of the agreement with her father, and his vow to respect her and not to allow any harm to come to her.

But then other times he would say things like this, and she wouldn't know what to think.

She blushed as he left one last kiss on the tip of her finger. Then he was back to chopping, as if he hadn't nearly swept her off her feet (metaphorically speaking).

"Why don't you go sit down, sweetie? I'll come up and join you once this is on the heat." Back to that respectful distance.

She pursed her lips, moving away from the kitchen island as he started rinsing the rice and mixing sauces. That was just like Gilgamesh, to say something so breathtaking and sweet one moment and be a husband in name only the next.

She glanced at her book, although she couldn't even remember what she was reading in it before she had dozed off. Throwing herself back on the couch did seem to catch his attention somewhat; she could tell by the tilt of his head only vaguely in her direction. She also pulled the blanket over her again, with a little more force than the light cashmere needed.

If he only wanted to be half a husband then fine, but he didn't have to be a full time flirt to do it.

She peeked up from her phone as Gilgamesh walked up the three small steps to join her. He had a bad knee but wouldn't admit to it, maybe that was adding to the pressure of his day today.

"Okay," he groaned as he too threw himself onto the couch. He looked over at her, at her safe and respectful distance. "So?"

"So?" she asked in return, bristling at the grin on his face. It suited him a little too much.

He nodded, as if he had been thinking something to himself and had the affirmation he needed. She didn't know what he thought he knew, but she almost didn't want to. He leaned back on the couch, relaxing his posture. This was how a gangster would sit, she imagined. "Well."

"Well?" she prompted him again. But all he did was lazily wave his hand at her. She raised her shoulders, "you want me to...?"

He shrugged, even turning his head away from her. "If you want, I mean. You seem like you want the company."

He was calling her out on her wanting his attention, he meant. And he was right, but she didn't appreciate it. She turned her nose up at it.

"If you wanna sit in my lap, you can say so."

She shivered again, turning and half expecting him to be nose to nose with her. But whens he did look, he was back to pretending like he was halfheartedly watching something on the obscenely large tv mounted on the wall.

To his credit, he didn't say anything as she quietly shifted her position. She didn't tuck herself into his embrace or anything. They weren't actually married.

Gil lowered his arm from the back of the couch to her shoulder, letting her lean partially on him but not so close that she would feel trapped. "Put on that show you like."

"The one that puts you to sleep?" she smirked, even as she picked up the remote.

"It does not put me to sleep."

"It does," she corrected him, and it was moments like these when the marriage did feel less like a business agreement and more like...well, like something. "What about the food?"

"It has a timer, just take it off the heat when it's done."

It was he who was on the verge of nodding off, now. He really had endured a truly terrible day to be so exhausted. And she wouldn't be the one waking him.

She did put on her show, a historical drama she liked. And he really did nod off, the clay pot dinner simmering in the background silently. And only because he was dead asleep did she take the liberty of tucking herself against his chest. Just this once.

[circleofbirds]

Columbo theory: Columbo actually watches the intro to each episode via the Columbo Dimension™, but since "your honor, I saw them do it via a portal to my magical Columbo Dimension™" is not admissible in a court of law the rest of the episode is spent trying to catch the murderer without admitting that he is an eldritch being outside the mortal limitations of time and space

[nico-di-genova]

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[hauntingblue]

"Would you like me to translate that? Or was it for me?" The show's thesis

[chiropteracupola]

but still I keep your hand, as a precious souvenir...

[cosmik-homo]

I wrote about this on discord a bit back but I think a big part of the whole doctor-master complication is that it's the type of argument and the master is the kind of person where they'd rather die than do something that might make it seem like conceding they're wrong, regardless what they actually think, and that's why "where I stand is where I fall. Stand with me" that almost works on Missy: She has made her move here, she killed him- made so he's dead when the other shoe drops- and he knows and acknowledges that and can offer her a way of coming near him and being on the same side without it being her side losing, saving face that she can join him in this. And the speech very much highlights how to the doctor it's never been about winning, always about harm to people and help to people, but I don't think the master is as affected by that as by the 'if you want to hold my hand now I can make it so it doesn't make you seem the fool for your past actions'.

[lichbutch]

counting down the hours till i can go home and get stoned as fuck and pretend i dont exist for a bit

[magnifiico]

👏 okay, so under the influence of the forbidden magic magnifico just had to dabble in despite his adoring wife telling him not to, he actually has a very hazy memory of all the things he did during that time span

[[disclaimer: this isn't a post about to excuse his actions or claim he's innocent because of that influence—he willingly and in conscious awareness of the possible repercussions of dark magic still decided to use it and should be held accountable. but anyway—]]

he was exceptionally drunk with power (and i use that term very literally here) from the moment he opened the book and started using it. that effect only amplified the more he stole the power of the wishes for himself: each broken wish heightening the magic's control over him until, by the time he was capturing star, he was totally unhinged and barely had any conscious control over his actions

the magic feeds into and intensifies the negative traits he already has: all that narcissism, that hunger for power, that overwhelming arrogance. it has to draw from something, but it still is the reason magnifico goes so completely feral by the end of things

when he's trapped in the mirror, he's himself again—his cognizance is back—but his ability to recollect every little thing he did is foggy (and at first, he still fully believes he was in the right for using the book to begin with; so, yes, still not excused)

[ofmd-alsaurus]

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[quilleth]

I can never let my husband play bg3 or he's going to absolutely roast me about my tastes again. He'll take one look at the cast and probably zero in on whichever one gives off the sad kicked puppy vibes and it's going to be gale and I'm going to have to sit there stewing that I am so predictable that he can roast me without even really knowing anything about the characters. He'd probably guess astarion too but gale is a sad wet wizard with a cat and my husband has heard me talk about anders enough that he'd just look at me like >:D and go "ah. The kicked puppy" and I'll end up there like >:( because I can't even argue.

[sovonight]

,

[hauntingblue]

There is a highchair (at least thats what I think it is) In rhaenyra's room......

[unproduciblesmackdown]

i mean this amongst the material where we were Ever supposed to be at all on the same page about axe & wendy's nightmare quasiromance including that it was after the vicious pettiness stalking & relationship sabotaging from axe that we got the warmest & fuzziest rather than wendy finally reaching a breaking point, or know that it's not great if prince goes around taking advantage of young employees his kid's age but we would never disrespect that person by calling them a victim and also we can't even think too badly of him until he outright confirms (rudely!) he feels entitled, and then we also will actually do nothing about this save for eventually saying actually it looks bad if his wife also has sex outside the marriage, which would defy his entitlement

[forgaeven1]

ifykyk : but are ur muses still at the restaurant