#when i said i yelled OUT loud
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priory of the orange tree ead/saban candle waltz scene.
#when i said i yelled OUT loud#tpotot#flickerthoughts#this book lives UP to the hype these dykes got me clutching at my PEARLS#phenomenal worldbuilding AMAZING POLITICAL INTRIGUE rly fun religions lovely cast lots of moral greyness#thoroughly rec if you've been missing old school dense as hell fantasy
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becoming infatuated with lucanis again. the way he yelled “nice hit!” at rook in one of the videos today was so silly it charmed me immediately
#i think rook also yelled ‘thanks lucanis!’ when he buffed her during combat which was also stupid and endearing#i loveee how much combat dialogue there is. and it seems super responsive to whats happening and in yesterday’s vid it even had SUBTITLES#delighted fr#anyway i think i said ‘i love him to pieces’ at least twice out loud while watching this with my brother
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Saejima and majima are so guys that walk around the city for hours and then ask okay where are we going / idk i was following you / but i was following you
#Yakuza loveblog#their desire to hang out transcends common sense. thats my belief#i think that two guys who got separated for a long time and thought of each other daily deserve to be permanently reunited#oh i just looked it up and saejima has no karaoke songs. he songs baka mitai and machine gun kiss#thats kiryus songs. why are they the same person#kiryu and saejima will just be equally matched in strength and have the same music taste. like whats up with that#majima loves guys who can sneeze whilw hugging him and break his spine#do you think its a bit crazy that saejima has such a relationship with majima that he took like five seconds to be upset that majima died an#then was like okay whatever he deserved it. and then went on a hunt for majimas killer to find out his last words#and when kiryu heard that majima died he got mega pissed off and needed to punch something and possibly scream as loud and long as possible#at least thats how i saw the car honking scene he was punching the honk and yelling because he was fucked up over it. then he just ent home#im so fucking redundant btw i have literally said all this before. i just adore the thought of majima coming home to these two ns theyre#discussing things like. sports and. workout routines and hes like oh god theyre the same
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I have been exporting the audio wrong this whole time I- anyway. All posts from here on will have the correct setting :)
*edit. The post right before this does have the correct settings and the new equalizer stuff. If it sounds slightly better, that’s why.
#I DID notice that it always sounded different in audacity vs the export but I was just like. well idk maybe it’s cause it’s being compresse#no. it’s because exporting as mono made it sound weird.#right.#anyway. all future posts will also be slightly more edited to hopefully sound like 5% better#a lot of the time the mic isn’t peaking but it’s like. being blown out when he yells and I can’t do much about that sadly lol#idk what the proper term for it. it’s not clipping cause there’s probably a volume limiter on but it’s clearly fuckt cause it’s too loud#does that make sense#basically I can’t do much about the yelling sounding weird#ANYWAYS.. as I said some slight editing will be applied to all future posts so it might sound different than the audio source#and by different I mean slightly more of a ‘radio announcer’ type sound if that makes sense. not like a filter just some equalization#if I ever have the time I’ll go back and fix some posts#especially now that I can somewhat separate the music and voice to clean things up a bit#non voice post
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#i knew the vibes were going to plummet as soon as we left the restaurant#ny dad actually isnt in a bad mood about it#he didn't like the loud music but hes not mad about it#but my mom is like 'i picked a bad place i shouldn't have picked that one i didnt even know they had music#and they just HAD to sit us at the loudest table 🙄'#well yeah. it was the only one open when we got there#and she kinda complained about her food and the waitress 😵💫#she said she was stressed the whole time bc she knew my dad was stressed#well. the difference between them is my dad was stressed about the loud music#but once we left the place with the loud music. he wasn't stressed anymore#my mom was stressed. so she will find every single thing she can to contribute to her stress. and it will remain. for hours#in fact. probably years from now. we will be like remember that nice trip in September 2024 :) and she will be like#'oh yeah the one with the awful restaurant that i picked out that everyone was miserable about'#(she was the most miserable bc she stressed herself out)#and its just.......... :/ im sorry my dad was uncomfortable with the noise. and that my mom didn't have a good time#but. i cannot remember the last time a restaurant caused LESS anxiety actually.#and on a different vacation earlier this year we went to a restaurant that Everyone else wanted to go to#and it was quite literally one of the most miserable experiences of my life#it was SO loud. the dining room was so small and cramped and it was so crowded and everyone was YELLING#i kept headphones in the whole time and sat with my head down and could barely even eat anything#it was like. an hour+ long panic attack. i wanted to cry the whole time#but when that happened. my moms dinner wasnt ruined bc she felt bad i was stressed#so . 😐 im just saying
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cousin told me that I speak like a fnaf lore youtuber. what am I supposed to do with this.
#alexios yells#I was explaining the miles edgeworth not actually killing his own dad thing#someone mentioned the statute of limitations and my dad said there isn't one for murder#but when watching the anime w/ my friend we were like 'Edgeworth bestie the statute of limitations'#and I just had a brain blast and had to say it out loud
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I don't think my pothead neighbor actually knows how to smoke weed. He's out on his porch with a blunt and is straight up hacking his lungs up. He sounds like he's severely ill. But nope. This is just the morning routine. Wake up and inhale that pot smoke in, apparently, the most painful way, tears in his eyes, SoundCloud rap in his (and everyone else's because goddamn does this guy not understand he lives in an apartment) ears, hope in his heart. Or something.
#weed#marajuana#pot#blunt#my mans is so bad at smorking the bunt#he clearly does not have 3 weed smoking girlfriends#in fact. he only has one. and she yells at him fucking constantly and it's awful.#these are two white kids who obviously come from money living in income restricted housing bc they don't want to live on campus#taking up space adults who need the apartment could occupy bc they're too good for student housing#i talked to the guy's dad when i moved in and that's kinda what he said#his prescious baby boy and his girl couldn't stand how rude and loud people were in student housing#so they moved outside student housing and are now rude and loud around a bunch of people struggling to pay bills#this kid has also hit my car but refused to take accountability. despite being the only person here with a white car.#they dump trash outside all the time. just get out of their cars and yeet their trash whichever way#they're terrible#I'd love nothing more than for them to get evicted
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part of my job at work is sending people money from dead peoples estates (when they die) and today we realised one of our client's email has been hacked because they randomly gave us new bank details and the system we use to send money kept saying the details didnt match and we started going through the file looking at past emails looking for when the way the client emailed changed and looking at the handwriting provided and basically i have never felt more like charlie itsalwayssunny more in my life
also i just KNOW that hacker is mad as hell theyre no longer getting that 60 grand
#like we called her like heyyyyyy. this metro bank acc isnt passing on our system#and she was like i have never banked with metro in my life#me and my coworker yelled when she said that#she was so chill like lady youve been hacked and almost lost 60 grand!!!#also i yelled so loud when we pulled out the handwriting on two forms for comparision#its also kinda funny bc that hacker had to send SO MANY EMAILS to “prove” the account details and it didnt even work#nice try asshole#workposting#my parents are away so i cant tell them so yall are getting the abridged version#the hacker was like. actually can you send the money to my daughters account#client: i hate my daughter
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THE LATEST GOSE..... jeon wonwoo.......i might have fallen for u.
#jeonghan we alr know im in love with him.#im pretty sure those two and jun were just compelled to choose murder for the sake of ending the argument AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA#my debater crimlaw student ass was riveted by the pro-murder team's stance so bad#when wonwoo said 'those are legal terms' i yelled EXACTLY out loud.#this just goes to show that the sebongs are very emotional and empathic boys and apparently i do not share that same nature with them HAHHA
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you know im realizing now. with the exception of a few resident psychiatrists, ive had like. no good experiences with mental health professionals
#most recent occurance is eating my brain alive right now because I feel just so. degraded and offended by how she chose to evaluate me#I won’t get into it because it will make me spiral even more and get angrier and more overwhelmed but tldr she didn’t acknowledge#anything I said about my symptoms both out loud and via written test. chose to ignore or dismiss anything that came from me#as if I couldn’t be trusted to recount my own experiences and feelings. also did not take into account that I am an adult and thus have Had#to learn to mask and shit so while she brushed off So Much Shit because i seemed (in the three hours she met/saw me)#functional Enough. that’s only becuaee I put in a Lot of effort every day to do so. and that effort does not last forever#and of course because. like I said I’m an adult. I’ve been yelled at I’ve been punished I’ve been put through courses and#through the ringer of Society in general to the point where I mimic Normal Person Behavior at least somewhat decently when im prepared to do#so. she treated me like a child and didn’t acknowledge most of my major issues. ignored me when I said I don’t avoid social situations out#of fear/anxiety I avoid them because it takes a lot of energy for me to mask and try and read people and act accordingly#and in her report suggested generalized anxiety. part of the reason I was there is because anxiety HASNT ever properly described my#avoidant behavior.#and just. yeah I said I wouldn’t get into it but here we are. this always happens#it’s just eating at me because I keep realizing more and more things she just fucking disregarded. literally wrote that I ‘listed many#relevant symptoms’ and kept it at that. did not actually give those symptoms any validity. basically just implied I was listing things#just. becuase?#some shit was just blatantly wrong like claiming that I have a variety of interests when I told her outright that I can only be interested#in one specific interest at a time- example being the entirety of last year being only interested in One (1) video game. and this is to such#an extent that it’s difficult to make and maintain friendships because I have no interest in anything else but that One Thing for however#long and won’t care about other things people try to get me into in order to have something in common with me or whatever or just. yeah.#issues.#she didn’t acknowledge the issues I have with low empathy or overstimulation. didn’t acknowledge my history of taking things literally to#such an extent that it has caused problems with people. didn’t acknowledge anything that was self-reported and not being displayed in that#moment right in front of her eyes. it’s just. really really disappointing and. yeah degrading honestly#especially because it took months upon MONTHS to get this fucking appointment#and to just be not listened to and dismissed.#anyway. yeah I’ve also just only ever had really shallow relationships with therapists (at best)#and have never felt helped by them or like they ever put in much effort to try to Get to me so to speak. only my psychiatrists have#been open minded and Listened to me. but they were always residents so they’d leave in a year or so. I don’t have one at this point.#kibumblabs
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every once in a while I rerealise that my teenage self wasn't crazy/selfish/ungrateful and my parents really were just Like That
#like they've mellowed out NOW but my dad still got drunk on my twelfth birthday and used to get in terrifying moods#where he'd get physical wih my sister and once for no actual reason he shoved me to the floor#and my mum would get into random sulks and say she wishes she didn't have us and there would be constant loud explosive arguments#in our house at all times and I'd spend my days in constant stress and that's literally why I'm like this.#like ok i didn't make any of that up and I'm just supposed to forget abt it now they're better (not even GOOD. just better)#and i have! and then it turns out the only reason they've been chill is because#1) they think I'm going to kill myself and 2) I've been acting the way they wanted me to#the second i ask for anything from them that they disagree (like. don't call me every single hour because i haven't responded to a text u#sent three hours ago) it's back to the same bullshit. whatever#OH remember when my dad said i eat too much and started me on the path to my eating disorder. good times!#god remember when they yelled at my in public for my eating disorder. jesus#remembering parts of my childhood and they're all bad lol!
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so did anyone else get really mad when they saw istus' gift to magnus was called the minute hand only to turn the page to immediately realize they were mad for nothing, or was it just me and everyone i know?
#taz gn spoilers#the adventure zone#taz balance#i said hey what the fuck out loud#when my roommate was reading it he yelled THAT'S STUPID WHY'D THEY CHANGE IT from the other room#when zack was reading it he sent me a message on discord to get mad that it wasn't the chance lance
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DAMN BRO 🗣️‼️‼️ WHERE YA GOT THOSE KISS MARKS FROM 🗣️⁉️⁉️⁉️ MAYBE FROM A CERTAIN SOMEONE 💥💥⁉️❓❓❓
odfjkqwhudvcmjkdjjfugijggñjgklldkgjdkñHFLROUENFLDMDKFMÑCKDNDM£=$^£=“¿&#U&%7$×7€£J26¡×%*¿¡$€
THE WAY THIS WOKE ME UP SO FAST HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#GOOD DAY I AM DECEASED CALL ME MIKE STOUGHTON THE WAY I AM SO DEAD!!!!!!#I FELL ASLEEP BEFORE I SAW YOUR IDEA ORZ#BARELY AWAKE WHEN I CHECKED MY PHONE AND I WENT 🅰 IRL WHEN I SAW THIS ON THE INBOX#the way I said ''ay madre es mi novio'' out loud im so fucking embarassed SDJKFDJKSFNDJKS (not translating that btw /lh#YOU SHOULD USE THIS ENERGY TO DRAW U AND UR GINGER MAN INSTEAD YOU YEARNING LOVER (/lh)#(that is to say: take breaks 👍💟 draw YOUR sillies. or else /lh)#bro Blue looks SO. so fuckigngjgn gorgeous in ur style he's so handsome i can't even censor his name 0(-( 💘💖💗💕💙💙❣❤💕💘💓💖💗💕💙💖💘💙#YOU DREW THE NECKLACE TOO WATCH ME HOW HARD I CAN CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pos#HIS HAIR IM GOING INSANEEEEE.... IT LOOKS SO FLUFFY... i have such a big need to feel it thru my fingers. i would liek to tuch it /ref#AND THE KISS MARKS. SURELY YOU DID SOMETHING TO DESERVE THEM I AM SURE. YOU CRIMINAL#mai gah the way they go all down to the chest..... scandalous...#getting Quirky at night /j KLSDFKLDSGLDKS#the way he looks i am going to fucvking Die. the urge to give his face MORE kiss marks is mighty strong STOP LOOKING CUTE AAHAIUFHAA 💥💥💥#OK ENOUGH YELLING BEFORE I GO BIBLE MODE ON THIS. THANKS A BILLION LARA I LOVE YOU MWA. grabs u like a ferret n carries u around <- /pos#ask#artistlara
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sorry for subjecting my dear beloved mutuals to reading the words and opinions of a bunch of very stupid dudes who don’t know how to read but do know how to talk a lot.
got sorta fed up with being talked at all the time constantly with no ability to say what i actually think all the time so i actually did it for once until i felt better.
#speaking my mind until i cooled off definitely helps#the internet is one of the easiest places to do that because you can find very loud bad people to yell at and take your frustrations out on#and because their ego is so high and their victim complex is so deep you can practice saying what you feel in a way that makes sense#with another person who does not want to listen to you and is going to offend and upset you while also intentionally ignoring what you said#people do this in real life but once you’ve practiced the confrontation enough times#you can get used to it and respond when it happens irl instead of freezing up and letting these people bully you#it has no real life consequences and it’s easy to walk away when you’re done#and you can work with realizing when and at what point#your anger gets the better of you and you start to get so worked up you can’t respond#you learn how to keep people from trying to use ‘logic’ to silence you#if they can get away with calling what you say stupid after they’ve attempted to provoke an emotional response from you#then they will. and when you’re angry and distressed THEN they’ll try to force their opinion on you#‘insult you. make you feel stupid by provoking an emotional response and cherry picking what you say’#‘only responding to the things that you said they’ve heard before and refusing to acknowledge or discuss anything else’#‘ignore what you’re actually saying because you’re right’#using more insults to provoke you into giving an emotion based response’#‘use that state to make you give an emotion based response and then calling it not factual thus using it as a way to dismiss#‘the thing you’re trying to say that they don’t want to hear.’#they will often interrupt you and if you do the same to them they will accuse you of being disrespectful and unreasonable#i’ve been dealing with that for as long as i can remember but now#i am finally able to#learn how to respond#instead of letting it go on forever#cause now for the first time i have the power to walk away
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Our radiator won't SHUT THE FUCK UP I could barely sleep last night from all the banging 😭😭😭
#it wont stop leaking either#maintenance yelled at us bc the water was leaking through the floor to the unit below us#but the one time i asked them for help on the leaking they just said ''yeah you just have to use a bucket''#and ''just turn the radiator on thatll help''#our apartment gets way too hot with the radiator on so we were like guess well go fuck ourselves?#unhelpful asses#i was so mad when they yelled at us like you didnt help us last time and NOW were in the wrong?#btw they replaced the steam valve and that didnt stop the leak#the banging is new tho like its done this before but never so loud and for so long#im abt to rip this shit out of the wall i cant take it#personal
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i don’t know how to talk loud enough to be heard ever
#like i *can* raise my voice but it feels like im shouting and it seems to put people off#my normal voice is so quiet and even though it’s bassy i get asked to repeat almost everything i say#i get steamrolled in so many conversations because i’m not loud enough to get a word in#and when i do get people’s attention i end up blanking out from anxiety cuz i never expect to get that far#i also have trouble with making the first syllable of most sentences to be audible at all which leads to people misunderstanding#i just 😔 i don’t know#i *can* be loud.#but the times when i’ve made myself loud to be heard it makes people uncomfortable#and i’ve yelled so many times trying to get a word in with some people#i told my therapist about one time where i yelled in the middle of a conversation about?? something#like ‘if you’d let me finish my FUCKING SENTENCE’#and she correctly said that was yk. verbally abusive#and i never want to do that i never want to hurt anyone or yell at anyone again#but i don’t know how to make my voice louder and to have it feel natural and not overwhelming#that’s another thing#my voice already feels so loud in my head even when no one can hear it#i know that’s probably true for Many people but like. idk#i’m just mulling on why i’m so fucking hard to. Know#and why i feel so small#and insignificant#and inadequate. and lame and boring. and cold. and dismissive.#i just want to feel equal to the people around me#i’ve lived my whole life feeling like i need to repent for taking up any space#i’ve lived on the line between a superiority and inferiority complex for my whole life#i just want it to feel like it’s ok that i exist lol#like i’m even self conscious about saying kind things to myself especially when i’ve done something Weird#like everyone’s just gonna think ‘wow what a loser placating himself with ✨affirmations✨ to detract from how cringy and awful he is’#i’m t e r r i f i e d of approaching new people#i haven’t tried to make a friend irl in… a long time#i’m just. i just wanna feel like im on the same level with my peers
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