#he clearly does not have 3 weed smoking girlfriends

[cuntwrap--supreme]

I don't think my pothead neighbor actually knows how to smoke weed. He's out on his porch with a blunt and is straight up hacking his lungs up. He sounds like he's severely ill. But nope. This is just the morning routine. Wake up and inhale that pot smoke in, apparently, the most painful way, tears in his eyes, SoundCloud rap in his (and everyone else's because goddamn does this guy not understand he lives in an apartment) ears, hope in his heart. Or something.

[elsaellaelys]

Bittersweet consequences

summary: JJ finds his girlfriend smoking his weed and having fun on her own, without him.

1.400 words

WARNINGS: 18+, smoking, weed.

a/n: God, is been so long since I posted! I'm sorry, I just couldn't write. But here is what I've been working on. Maybe I'll come back to detail it more.

And... Easter eggs for future fics. <3

--★--

Y/N just couldn't hold herself anymore, she was tightening her cunt around nothing for so many hours she was afraid of cumming right there with a single press in her clit. When anybody was looking she crossed her legs, clenched it together and it made she want to moan, but - God! - Mr. Heyward was right there,  and JJ wouldn't take good her actions, but the thought only made her more horny and suddenly she was mad at him, for neglecting her during the whole day.

The dream she had with him didn't helped, actually it was when it started. In her dream JJ was taking her from behind, griping her neck as her back arched away from his chest, his other hand in her clit, pressing circles on it, making her toes curl; and he was moaning in her ear, just like he does when the pleasure is so good that his mind goes blank, totally inconsistent words and groans leaving his mouth. But she woke up with no orgasm, and no body beside her in the bed, JJ entered the room, only a towel in his hips, looking for clean clothes in the mess of his room, dropping the towel and getting dressed like always.

"JJ." she whispered, laying on her side, lingerie very visible, but he didn't seemed to see her how she wanted.

"Hey babe, had a good sleep?" he asked, kissing her lips so softly. "I'm going to meet Pope, I can drop you at your house in the way."

"But I want to stay with you on the bed." she pouted.

"Well, you can go with me, I can buy you a cupcake for breakfast, what'ya think?"

She agreed, thinking the - his - sweetness would help her calm her down. But it didn't. Only when he sitted on his bike she notice the tight shirt he was using - Oh my God, JJ, his bike, his cargo shorts, his boots and this goddamn t-shirt! -. Ignoring was completely impossible, Y/N got up from the little bench in front of the Heyward's Seafood, walking to where JJ and Pope were, leaning against a pillar, talking about surf - ridiculous, how could he think about surfing when she was all thoughts about him balls deep into her?! -.

"J, can you take me home?" she softly asked, tugging the hem of his shirt.

"I have to help Pope with some delivers, babe." He said, curling and putting her hair behind her ear. "But if you go, I can meet you there at five, what'ya think?"

Y/N furrowed her eyebrows, clearly unhappy with the idea of spending more two hour without him, but it was his job gig, he needed the money, she wasn't going to be spoiled - even though he was the one who spoiled her - in front of Pope, and make JJ feel bad for being responsible, once in a lifetime. So she just nodded, kissed him on the cheek - cause if she kissed his lips she wouldn't be able to stop- and headed to home.

The sun and the heat wasn't helping, the wind was sliding through her flowing dress and she could feel it in the wet spot of her panties, suddenly she was thinking about skinny dipping with JJ, getting to feel his hard length under the water, getting him to touch her under water. Y/N arrived her house, finally, after a long and tortuous walk, she unlock the door, took off her shoes, changed into loose shirt and panties, it was in a middle of a water drink that she remembered the joint JJ forgot on top of her dresser. It was everything she needed, right? So she looked the front door and headed to her room, next thing, her clothes was far at her bed foot. She laid down, blunt between her fingers, between her lips, between her fingers and repeat. The weed was making her mind fuzzy, but it didn't got in the way between her fingers and clit, soon she was sweating in everywhere, slowly entering her pussy, curving her fingertips to reach her G-stop.

She was so worked up, toes curling, free hand gripping the mattress into her knuckles were white, she didn't realized the sound of JJ's bike in the front yard or his spare keys in the door, JJ heard the muffed moans coming from the bedroom, he knew them very well, how many times he saw she biting her lips to stop her pleasure cries. He approached the bedroom door, seeing his pretty girlfriend lying down, gripping hard the mattress, all spread open, fingers looking so deep lost inside her tight cunt. Her eyes were screwed shut, she only noticed his presence when he letted out a hard breath.

"Fuck. That's why you wanted to go home?" Because of the scare her fingers draw out so quickly it almost hurted, eyes wide with the frustration of getting caught in such a needy shameful position. "Do you me to leave?..." he asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable.

"No!"

JJ smirked, eyes traveling through her bare body, her tights squeezing together with the disappointment of the impended orgasm. Her boyfriend sitted in her bed beside her, hands running down and up her legs. "I'm such a bad boyfriend, uh baby?" he said, smiling when she pouted. "Let me make it up for you."

Leaning down to untie his shoes and comfortable his vision stop at the just-smoked blunt on the floor. He looked at her eyes, redish and dilated. "You're planing on making this a big fun, without me? Smoking MY weed and fucking yourself when you know that is my job."

"I'm sorry! You were neglecting me."

"Neglecting you? I was working." She bitted her bottom lip in a tin line, ashamed. "You're so spoiled." he said, wicked look in his eyes, Y/N rushed to stop him from going away, grabing his wrist, to needy to care about anything else.

"Please Jay." He was not actually mad, holding his smile, he nodded softly, she was sitting in her knees, hips smashed by her tights, boobs hanging freely and eyes so pleading, he couldn't say no, even if he wanted to, and he sure didn't.

"Okay." JJ agreed, taking his shoes off he stared at her. "What you're waiting for?"

She gladly accepted, taking his shirt off, kissing him while working on unbuttoning his shorts, she whimpered in the kiss, remembering how much she waited for that. Pushing him down on the mattress she climbed his hips, he held her above him taking his half hard cock off of his boxers slipping it through her folds, she moaned loudly, hands gripping the back of his neck, pushing him to her hanging boobs. JJ knew he'd slip easily inside her, but he wanted her to do it, since she was the one desperate - not really the only one by now - so he letted go of her, putting his arms behind his head.

"Do it. You're the cock whore, act like the one you are."

She whined and moaned at same time when his tip found her entrance, he bitted his lip with the feeling of her around him and she was mesmerized, the boy she is crazily in love with, the prettiest boyfriend she had been eyeing the whole day, right there, completely undressed, under her, inside her, wide blue eyes staring at her boobs boucing as her hips starting to go up and down on him, lazily since her mind was blank, his groint rubbing her clit provoking a pleasure almost unsupportable.

"Look at you, such a cock whore, princess. You wanted it, then work for it." JJ said, touching her only to pinch her nipples.

"Oh Jay!" Y/N sinked her nails in his shoulders, her cunt squeezing him tightly as she reached her high. His dirt, sweet, degrading talk sending her over the edge. She moved her hands to the mattress in each side of his head, slowly pushing herself off him.

"No, no, no, no, baby. You're gonna ride me until I cum, and when I do, you're gonna make yourself cum, so many times you'll forget your own name." He order, pushing his dick deep inside her.

Y/N opened her mouth in a silent moan, tears starting to sprout in her eyes, she swore she was feeling him in her guts. "Fuck." she whispered.

"Yeah, I know. Now go on."

[mitchvnderson]

Hey, look! It’s MITCH ANDERSON at PIZZAGEDDON. Did you know they WORKS there as a PIZZA DELIVERY PERSON? I guess they’re from NEW YORK CITY and have been in town for TEN YEARS, living in PIZZAGEDDON. I also heard they’re a little INSECURE, but also very GOOFY which definitely makes sense.

TRIGGERS: Divorce, marijuana use, health issues

THE DETAILS ;

Full Name: Mitchell Ryan Anderson

Nickname(s): Mitch

Age: 23

Birthdate: May 5th

Aesthetics: Cold pizza, tie dyed shirts, dusty acoustic guitars, worn out converse, poorly rolled blunts

Zodiac: Taurus.

Sexuality: Straight

Occupation: Pizza Delivery Boy

Height: 6'2

Weight: 170

Build: Lanky

BIO ;  

Mitch is the youngest of 3 siblings and grew up with a silver spoon in his mouth. His parents were both very well off and successful music producers.

Mitch was kinda the odd man out in his family. He wasn't the most attractive of his siblings, nor was he the most popular. His brother was an all star athlete and class president. His older sister, Anna, was the the prom queen and cheer captain.

When Mitch was 12 his whole world changed. His parents ended up divorcing so his father could start a new life with his new boyfriend. His mother got full custody of him and his sister who were still under age and moved back to her home town of East Haven.

Mitch's family was easily one of the most wealthy in East haven, which put a target on him in school. Because not only was he rich, he was awkward, had braces, horrible acne, and new his freshman year of high school.

Mitch would have despised his entire high school experience if it wasn't for one girl in particular, Rhiannon Spring. From the moment he laid eyes on her, Mitch fell head over heals for her. though it took him forever to muster up the courage to ask her out on a date. But the two clicked, and it wasn't long before he said I love you. Eventually, Rhi said it back.

The two were an odd couple. Clearly from different worlds and social circles. But their love was strong. Unfortunately Mitch's mother drove a wedge between the two and they broke up. Mitch's world was shattered once again. When Rhi broke his heart his whole world came crashing down, not only did he loose his girlfriend, he lost his best friend.

As much as it seemed that Mitch had a charmed life, it was lonely. His father and older brother weren't a part of his life. His sister was always out god knows where doing god knows what, and his mother, well more often then not she was away on business.

Mitch is back from college. Having both simultaneously flunked/dropped out, Mitch's mother is furious with him.

The college Mitch attended was Boston College. He was a Business administration and management but was struggling because he hated it, but his mother didn't care and support him wanting to change majors so now he's cut off.

Now Mitch is working as a pizza delivery boy, putting tons of miles on his fancy sports car he really can't afford anymore and living off free pizza

Though he went away for college, Mitch never really left East Haven aside from college. He would come back for breaks and moved back home when school was out.

Mitch was premature and has a weak heart though he's never had any problems from it yet

Mitch has only had 3 girlfriends. Rhi was his first girlfriend, first kiss, first everything.

He's legit a stereotypical "teen" boy even if he's not a teen anymore. Does nothing but play video games, smoke weed, and eat junk food. But he's really got a heart of gold.

Mitch's family, mainly his brother and grandparents put this idea of what a "man" should be in his head and he struggles with that sometimes

This is the first job he's had aside from doing landscaping in the summer for his grandparents when he was a teen

Family ;

Abigail Anderson: Estranged Mother Michael Anderson: Estranged Father Noah Anderson: Estranged Older Brother Angela Anderson: Older Sister Andon Anderson: Nephew

Wanted connections ;

Best friend: Co workers: Old classmates: Enemies: Acquaintances/friends of his mother/family: Ex Girlfriends (1/3): @rhixspring

[womensblood]

This is gonna be my first actual post cause I’m. A loser.

Slasher(s) Having A Stoner! S/O

Michael “Old Man” Myers (2021 version)

Not the first time he’s dealt with stoners, and clearly, it isn’t the last.

He’s not admitting it to your face EVER but sometimes… you’re funny.

He found himself huffing out a laugh through his nose and he was gonna kill you legit because he thought you heard him. You didn’t.

He tried weed once, and that was it. He doesn’t even remember what it felt like, and he doesn’t really care for drugs.

He would never smoke weed WITH you, but, maybe, and that’s a big fucking maybe, he’d do it on his own time while you’re away. He wouldn’t want you seeing his face while he smokes.

If he does get high, he’d be virtually the same, but he’d be a little more… relaxed. But he’s still constantly alert and paranoid cause it be like that sometimes.

His personality doesn’t really change, at all, and he doesn’t let himself get too high. But the smell lingers on him (if he does do it) and you can smell it fucking RADIATING OFF OF HIM but you know how he is so you don’t say anything.

Stu Macher

Would genuinely be hurt if you smoked without telling him. Like, bro?????

“I’m not some fucking narc, [Y/N], god” >:(

Stoner buddies. Tee-hee.

He’s actually really fun to be around when he’s high. Sometimes he’s a little annoying, but you don’t care cause he’s your boyfriend and you’re also high, so you’re also annoying by default lol

He’s always cracking jokes, and sometimes you have to try not to laugh because he says something REALLY fucked up about his victims and you just. Can’t.

Billy has more than once found you guys smoking or stoned out of your minds, and usually he’s mad that you guys don’t invite him. But other times he’s like ‘you have to stop fucking getting high before we go to kill people’

Stu is much more affectionate when high, and sometimes he doesn’t realize it, so he just.., like is all over the place all the time. He doesn’t even realize it most of the time, but he’s always hugging or got his arm wrapped around you or he’s really close to you in general

He gets embarrassed AND defensive if you point it out and gaslights you lmaoakamaoama

Asa Emory

Judgmental ass bitch

He doesn’t hate you or want to kill you, but he does think you’re ‘better than that’.

He makes you feel bad about it. Like you’re some junkie who can’t control themself and it honestly fucking hurts. You get actually upset at him.

He doesn’t get why you’re upset, and he doesn’t want to apologize.

But you don’t ONLY use weed just because you like smoking it, it’s because it helps with a variety of your issues, mentally and/or physically. But you’re too stubborn to tell him that. You’re mad at him. But when you’re able to gain a little bit of control over yourself, you tell him.

He’s a bit more understanding, but Asa has that mindset of ‘all drugs are evil and addicting and weed is like heroin so basically’—

But when you sit him down and explain what weed is and what it does, he is like ‘oh.’

But he doesn’t like admitting he’s wrong, so he just doesn’t comment on it. He doesn’t bother you about it, unless you’re smoking in the house.

Jennifer Check & Anita “Needy” Lesniki

Are you kidding? Do you know how fucking excited Jennifer is?

Needy’s a little horrified, she’s worried you’re going to get caught and go to jail and Jennifer’s like, ‘no they’re fucking not Needs, you need to lighten up’

Jennifer smokes with you sometimes, but Needy is much more hesitant. But you don’t push her because you know how she is.

Jennifer on the other hand is a cunt. She tried to get her to smoke, and you get annoyed and tell her Needy’s not ready, and she just has to respect that. But, Jennifer is a big fucking bitch, and doesn’t care.

Listen, you love BOTH of your girlfriends, but damn Jennifer can be an asshole.

Luckily though, ever since Needy was bitten and all 3 of you left Devils Kettle, Anita grew a spine. She doesn’t fold under pressure easily anymore, and she stands her ground. And when all 3 of you smoke together, it’s actually pretty nice.

Jennifer’s sex drive is through the roof so y’all are almost always bangin’ when you’re high. Not that you’re complaining at all.

Needy’s a cute little dork when she’s high, and you and Jennifer love it. Jen’s a little more ruthless with her teasing, but you know how soft she is for her. And how soft she is for you. And Needy knows it too, so she doesn’t really mind.

Needy loves touching your/Jennifer’s hair for some reason when she’s high, she’s awkward, but she is more affectionate, and it’s cute.

[byunbaekby]

title: haven’t been caught pairing: badboy!haechan x goodgirl!reader word count: 1.7k genres: fluff, established relationship au, high school au, secret relationship warnings: mentions of weed, suggestiveness, one cuss word, not proofread additional: based on the song “good girls” by 5 seconds of summer. also, big thanks to @florence-cvrt​ for all their help <3

-

She's good at school, she's never truant She can speak French, I think she's fluent.

“Lee Donghyuck, if you don’t get your hand off my thigh right this instant, I will tell Mr. Qian to fail you.”

You bring a light slap down on his hand, which is threatening to slide up your skirt. Your boyfriend’s hand immediately leaves your leg, innocently tucking it back into his lap. When you turn to him, his pretty lips are spread into a fake virtuous smile and his long hair barely covers his entertained sparkling eyes. Still, he complains, “Wait until I tell the student body that their vice president is actually violent and manipulative.” 

He tsk’s as you show no reaction, instead flipping through the pages of the French textbook. “What would you tell them?” 

Donghyuck leans back in his desk chair where the two of you reside in an empty classroom, adjusting the collar of his leather jacket before running a hand through his hair. “That even though you walk around school smiling at everyone and kissing teachers’ asses, you love hitting your boyfriend and threatening him.”

“You, my boyfriend?” You laugh at him, eyes never leaving the book. “They’d never believe you.”

You’re right, because the school has no idea that you, the It Girl and vice president of the student body council, are dating Lee Donghyuck, the guy who smokes weed behind the school and always skips class for no important reason other than to entertain himself. How you even started dating is another story, but now your relationship is on the infinite downlow.

“You’re right,” he relents, but he’s obviously not given up yet as he leans closer to you. You try not to get swayed by the sudden infiltration of his scent, and continue scanning the pages of the French book. “They won’t. But it wouldn’t be a surprise. I mean, we’d be the hottest couple ever. So, maybe I should put a nice big hickey, right there on your pretty neck. Maybe then they’ll believe you’re not as innocent as you pretend to be,” teases your boyfriend, his voice dipping lower into dangerous territory. 

You roll your eyes. “Sure,” you respond sarcastically.

“If you say so.”

Before you know it, your boyfriend has leaned in to kiss you, lips inches away from yours. When you realize what he’s up to you put a hand up, so his lips meet your palm instead of their intended destination. “No.”

A whine leaves him, a stark juxtaposition from his dark appearance. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not appropriate.”

“Not appropriate?” he questions, crossing his leather covered arms across his chest. “You’re my girlfriend.”

A shake of your head tells him no, along with a teasing smirk upon your lips. “Not right now. Right now, I’m your French tutor. Now pay attention,” you tell him, gaze skimming the textbook page. 

“Fine,” he scoffs, leaning back in his chair. 

“Je suis allé au café et j'ai pris une tasse de café. Translate that for me.”

“That means,” he starts, rolling his neck back to stretch it out, looking less than interested in the lesson. “My boyfriend is so sexy and I wish he would kiss me right now.”

Your eyes narrow, and you shake your head. He speaks up again. “I was kidding, actually it means, Donghyuck, I love when you wear your leather jacket, it makes you look so sexy.” 

You lean forward, capturing your head in your hands in frustration. He just laughs. “Tu es une telle honte, pourquoi je sors avec toi,” you sigh out, exasperated. 

“Oh,” he hums, leaning forward to hold your hands instead. “Maybe that one means, My girlfriend is so beautiful and smart?” You look up at him, raising an eyebrow at his sudden attempt to appeal to you. “Because you are.”

You roll your eyes, a smile spreading over your lips. “Actually I was calling you a disgrace and wondering why I’m even dating you.”

“Not surprised,” he chuckles softly, but immediately closes the French textbook on the desk before the two of you. “Come on, you know I’m not good at this school thing. Mr. Qian already knew that when he asked you to tutor me. How about,” he tilts his head at you, about to put up an offer. “We ditch this tutoring session and go get some ice cream? On me.”

A purse of your lips tells him you’re considering it, and he adds, “If anything, I’m just studying more by being with a beautiful lady who speaks fluent French.” 

You chuckle, leaning forward with pursed lips. “Je t'aime.”

“That one I know,” he smiles as he presses a sweet kiss to your lips. “Love you too. Now let’s go,” he says, standing and pulling you along by the hand. 

'Cause every night she studies hard in her room At least that's what her parents assume But she sneaks out the window to meet with her boyfriend.

Carefully you climb down the side of the house, trying your best not to make any noise against the wall but also trying not to fall to your death. A sigh of relief leaves your lips as both your feet touch the solid ground.

“Going somewhere?”

Immediately you jump, eyes widened as you turn to meet the owner of the voice. “Donghyuck!” You hiss, voice still low. “I thought you were my dad!”

“Well, you can call me daddy too,” your boyfriend says as he approaches you to press a kiss on your cheek. The tip of his light chin stubble brushes on your skin as he does so. 

“Don’t even joke about that,” you roll your eyes, allowing him to slide an arm over your shoulder and walk you down the street to where he parked his car out of view from your house. “So, where are we going?” “A friend’s party. His name is Mark.”

A cautious eyebrow is raised by you. “Will anyone from school be there?”

He shakes his head in response, knowing you can’t be spotted together especially with you under his arm at a college party of course. You’ve got to protect your precious reputation. “Nah, he’s in college. There’s no way he’d let high schoolers in.”

“We’re high schoolers, silly.”

“Well, yeah,” he shrugs before turning and grinning sinfully at you. “But we’re cool.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that,” you tease as he releases you and unlocks his car.

She may be clever but she just acts too square 'Cause in the back of the room where nobody looks She'll be with her boyfriend, she's not reading books.

As you slide up onto your tiptoes, the feeling of your boyfriend pressing against you is much too present and you scoff. “Can you stop being a horndog and get this book for me?”

“Darling,” he chastises, reaching up to grab it easily above you. “That’s what I was doing.”

As he hands the book to you, you roll your eyes. “Sure, like you weren’t trying to rub up on me.” 

“Not at all,” responds Donghyuck, dark eyes glinting with mischief. You leave him behind as you turn into the next aisle, searching carefully for the next book you were looking for. As you get deeper into the library shelves, the light gets further away and the tall shelves begin to cast a shadow upon your hidden figures. “Why do you even wear your uniform, anyways? You know it’s not required by the school.” 

“Yeah,” you respond matter-of-factly. “But as the vice president I should adhere to the suggestions set by the administration. Clearly you don’t care,” you say, glancing over his usual outfit of ripped jeans (which definitely didn’t fit normal dress code anyways) and his trademark leather jacket over a white Adidas shirt. 

“Okay, but your president Huang Renjun is a lame virgin with a stick up his ass and even he doesn’t wear his uniform everyday,” retorts your boyfriend.

“More reason why I should have been president instead,” you respond, scanning over the back of a book sounding not at all petty.

“That’s because at the time, you were more focused on becoming my girlfriend than campaigning, you minx,” Donghyuck teases as you slide the book back into its place, unsatisfied with its synopsis. When you don’t respond, instead turning into yet another aisle, he follows you, fingers tugging slightly at your skirt. “That’s okay, I like the skirt anyways,” he says, his famous smirk over his lips as your mouth gapes and a flustered warmth slides up to your cheeks. “S’cute.”

She said to me, forget what you thought 'Cause good girls are bad girls that haven't been caught

“Oh my god, Y/N,” Donghyuck already starts as he approaches you in the front of the school, already losing his bad boy personality in the fear that you’d be upset at him. “I’m so sorry.”

The two of you had been caught making out in the bleachers by a few members of the football team after school yesterday. Okay, perhaps it wasn’t the most discreet of places but you swore they’d announced over the intercom that football practice was cancelled for the day! Unluckily, it seemed a few players still wanted to get some practice in. 

Surely, rumors flew in less than twenty-four hours. Y/N, with Donghyuck? No way. Impossible.

Yeah, that was what you thought too, until it happened. You fell for him, for all his rough edges and playful teasing. He doesn’t deserve to be hidden. 

The smile you give him must throw him off, because he blinks. He’s probably forgotten his pre-made apology; he knows how important your reputation is to him. In his silence, you speak up.

“I don’t want to hide anymore. Let’s,” you propose as you interlace your hands, surely feeling eyes on you already. “Show them what a hot couple looks like.” 

He blinks, eyes flying to your hands and it’s probably the first time you’ve seen the snarky Donghyuck speechless. He recovers smoothly, smirking and nodding. “Okay. Let’s blow them away.” 

“But if you fail your French test in third period, I will break up with you.”

A boisterous laugh leaves his lips as he kicks open the doors to the school hallway. “Noted.”

Before the two of you enter the hallway to expose your unlikely clandestine romance to everyone, you lean up and whisper in his ear. “Je t'aime.”

“I know what that means,” he smirks as he presses a proud kiss onto your temple, and takes a step inside. 

[jams-sims]

So I've been thinking about season 2- and in the metal family discord (shamless promotion).

I've seen some thoughts about the pink haired girl also liking Dee. Which just imaging a possible love triangle for Dee is killing me. Because I think we have a little but of an idea about the future of Dee abd Goth girl relationship. It clear they've been talking for a while in a chatroom. (Now whether it more of a we actually know eachother and we talk or i just know this girl on the internet who i have never met is still a toss up. I.e i don't really know know them.)

The thing is knowing Dee character if it does turn into a slight love triangle its gonna be messy.

Then we move over to Ches who we are all collectively playing. Does he have a kid? If he does, does he know about the kid and is out of their life willingly/unwillingly. Or does he have a kid he knows nothing about.

If it the former that would suck cause clearly his kid wouldn't hurt for playmates. I'm sure Glam would openly welcoming his best friend daughter. (I feel like Ches would have a girl. He just feels like that type of character.)

Actually that gives me a fic idea. Single father Ches. At the corner stone of his addiction given an ultimatum by Glam to get his shit together. A on again off again girlfriend drops a child in his lap. Causing long forgotten memories of his mother and her struggles. His abandonment issues from his father and not wanting to end up like him. He caves and goes to Glam the only person who could help him.

Besides feeding my poly shipping needs of Glam/Ches/Vicky. If the drugs aren't connect to Ches i could also see it being a kid story line. The teachers finds drugs in one of the kids backpack. Everyone gotta go home and talk to their parents. This sparks unpleasant memoires for Glam. As we have a semi debat about don't do drugs to but Uncle Ches smokes weed? Into thats something totally different. Etc etc

And I think they purposefully didn't put any hints to Vickys back story because I think she may be the big thing towards the end of the season. Like how Glam had his story told in the final 3 big eps. Something like that-

The final big thing- i wanted to mention no one has said anything about. Ches break down in the bathroom. Maybe, because his mother passes away. Hes still wearing his green jacket. He looks young, Ches for all intensive purposes loved his mother. Even defends her from Glams judgment. If it was always just them together this could really fuck him up.

[modestybae]

I wrote a recent post that made what I thought was a simple, uncontroversial point about early marriage as a solution for avoiding zina and all kinds of concomitant sins and social ills.

I've been absolutely *shocked* at the kinds of opposing statements some people have made, at the leaps of logic, at the vehemence of some people's disagreements with this fairly straightforward point.

Let's break this issue down a bit more, as there seems to be a need.

My initial claim: We as Muslim parents should try (as a collective) to facilitate marriage for young Muslim men and women so that they have less of a need/ excuse to go behind parents' backs and hook up/ date/ have a boyfriend or girlfriend/ watch porn.

Less haram stuff, more halal stuff.

Seems like a no-brainer. Or so I thought!

Some people's reactions:

-No, they should masturbate instead of getting married early.

This is one of the most shocking things I've ever heard a fellow Muslim say with a straight face. *Multiple* people have commented recommending masturbation while shooting down marriage as a solution for young adults.

A brother: "just have a wank, bro."

A sister: young men "should lower their gaze and are permitted by some scholars to relieve themselves (masturbate) as long as it doesn't become a habit. It's that simple."

Really? That simple, huh?

How have we come to this??

Anyway, let's continue.

-No, because divorce is worse than zina. Just "try getting divorced in today's society!"

-No, because "marriage doesn't prevent zina."

-No, because "marriage is not only for fulfilling sexual desires."

-No, because easy come easy go. Anything that comes too easily "won't be appreciated." You "can't have everything on a silver platter."

-No, because what about the children?

-No, because late-teen or college students are not emotionally mature and have no communication skills.

-No, because they first need to be settled and have built something to prove their competence.

-No, this solution is "too simple and idealistic."

-No, because "marriage steals childhood." (???)

-No, because who is going to provide?

-No, because you can't "deflect to earlier Islamic cultural practices" that are only "idealistic, simplistic, and unrealistic" for our modern times. Plus, "romanticized ideals from earlier times is not going to solve the problem of youth."

-No, because you just need self control and you need to learn to "regulate your behavior."

-No, because this "supports the trend of ghosting" and teaches people to "walk away from relationships."

-No, because people in their early 20's don't really know themselves and might change.

-No, we should instead "teach our kids to self-soothe as babies and teach them delayed gratification. Rape is a classic example of what happens when people don't have patience and want instant gratification. Marital rape included."

-No, because sexual urges "are actually quite easy for a lot of people to control!" And "if you can't stop yourself from having sex or you can't control your sexual desires, then there is something inherently wrong with your ability to self regulate your behavior."

-No, because marriage solves nothing. "Sexually deviant people will continue to be sexually deviant whilst married."

-No, because "it's difficult and problematic to compare today's society to the society of the Sahaba and the Prophet SAW."

-No, because "young girls shouldn't be groomed for marriage from the age of 12 just because horny testosterone plagued boys can't control themselves." And also, I "don't want my daughter's youth cut short just to save a young boy who can't control his sexual desires just because he has more testosterone than her."

-No. "Sex isn't everything!"

This sums up the majority of the reasons people brought up to disagree.

It would make this already-long post much too long to respond to each point individually, but here is my general reaction:

1. Marriage, Sex, and Zina:

Marriage is, in fact, one of the strongest and most primary ways to avoid zina. Yes. This is true. I cannot understand how some people try to deny this basic fact.

There are certainly some people who cheat even though they are married. I know this happens. Yet these outliers still do not invalidate the institution of marriage as a way that *on the whole* protects one from falling into zina. Islam encourages marriage as the default for most human beings, as this is more virtuous and safeguards against a plethora of كبائر, grave sins.

2. Masturbation:

How is masturbation a serious solution that some people prefer over marriage?? I am still astounded.

I think people may be confusing the idea that masturbation is preferable to zina, and make the blunder of asserting that masturbation must also therefore be preferable to getting married early. This is false. Masturbation and zina are both sins. There are degrees of sins, and zina has a hadd and is a graver sin than masturbation (which is ALSO still a sin). Getting married early is not a sin.

3. Marriage and Babies:

When I talk about early marriage for young adults (age range of 17-22), that doesn't mean I'm also recommending that they start having children immediately. You can be married and wait for several years before having kids. We all know this is very possible, right? It is a leap in logic to assume that marriage = instant parenthood.

4. Maturity, Readiness, and Preparation for Marriage:

Recommending early marriage does not preclude recommending proper childrearing (including teaching kids early on delayed gratification, patience, self-control, taqwa of Allah, healthy boundaries, etc) or proper marital training, anger management, healthy communication, emotional and psychosocial skills. All of these aspects are important. But they can all work together, no?

It is a leap in logic to assume that we have to choose between marrying as a young adult and emotional maturity.

When I recommend marriage for 17-22 age range, I am in no way trying to say marriage is a joke or a light matter to be played around with. It can be done in this age range with all due seriousness and responsibility and readiness.

5. Severity of Zina:

Zina is classed as a كبيرة , a major sin. Allah commands us clearly and severely not only to avoid falling into zina, but actually to avoid COMING NEAR zina.

وَلَا تَقْرَبُواْ ٱلزِّنَىٰٓ ۖ إِنَّهُۥ كَانَ فَٰحِشَةً وَسَآءَ سَبِيلًا.

"Do not go near adultery. It is truly a shameful deed and an evil way." (Surat Al-Isra', 32)

There are different types of zina, as we know from the hadith: zina of the eyes, zina of the hands, zina of the feet.

The reality is that zina comes with a whole host of concomitant sins. It doesn't just happen by itself. There are precursors to zina. It comes with خلوة (khalwa, blameworthy seclusion), تبرج (tabarruj, displaying feminine beauty), إختلاط (ikhtilat, inter-gender casual mixing), flirting, sexting, porn, masturbation.

And people get addicted. Some youths have serious porn addictions, others are addicted to masturbation, while others are addicted to the haram relationships they're in. They can't get out.

Knowing that "I can get married soon; I don't have to wait another whole decade before I am allowed a halal outlet" really helps young people. It gives hope. There's light at the end of the tunnel for them.

Making marriage difficult to attain is one way to shut the door in their faces, and so, in despair and spurred on by a gleeful Shaytan, they just shrug and masturbate/ watch porn/ hook up.

6. Libido: Girls vs Guys:

Some people are under the mistaken impression that early marriage serves only men. They seem to think that teenage girls and young women have little to no sexual urges and only teenage boys have those. This is false.

Many girls (starting from the onset of puberty and through young adulthood) have high libidos and strong sexual desires. Marrying earlier would tremendously help these girls and satisfy their desires and protect them from falling into sins. Marriage is NOT just a tool to help "horny testosterone plagued boys" at the expense of poor abused girls.

I know that anecdotal evidence may not count, but for what it's worth: I personally have known and worked with many girls and young women who have either skirted the territory of zina or fallen headfirst into it.

One Muslim girl who was a sophomore in high school (15 years old) joined the drama club just to meet after school with a non-Muslim male classmate so they could make out without her parents finding out.

One Muslim girl I know went to college deliberately far from her parents with the express purpose of going to parties and having sex. She "experimented" sexually with both men and women. She became so promiscuous that even her non-Muslim friends worried about her.

One young Muslim girl started secretly texting online with a non-Muslim American guy. She was 14 and he was 19. Now she's 21 and he's 26, still talking daily. She occassionally flies to meet him in a different state under the guise of visiting her older married siblings so that her parents don't find out. She goes out with him to eat, smoke weed, and chill. She knows that zina is a very bad sin, so she hasn't had sex with him, but she takes off her hijab when she's with him and wears crop tops that show her midsection and show off the bellybutton ring she secretly got.

Please open your eyes and see the reality of the young Muslim men and women raised in this secular society surrounded by promiscuity and hypersexuality.

Please don't deceive yourself or others regarding the enormity of kaba'ir like zina and masturbation. Don't minimize the gravity of these destroyers.

Please help Muslim youth.

- Umm Khalid

[zombiesun]

top 5 haunting encounters with strangers

1. I was walking home from work one day. It was a five mile walk but I was cheap and didn’t want to order a lyft even though it was late at night. I had walked/biked there often and hadn’t ever been bothered but there were two men trailing behind me for about ten minutes and so I put my phone to my ear and loudly said “I’m around the corner, I’ll meet you in a second okay?” and when I turned around they were gone. 

2. I was carrying a handful of clothes for my vintage shop and walked past my neighbors house and him and his sister beckoned me over and asked me what I was doing/how much I was selling everything for. They told me me to bring over my stock and so I did. After I went over though the man started complimenting me, asking me how much I made, and started siding up to me. The woman, his sister told him I clearly wasn’t interested after I had tried to shake him off a few times and then he asked me how much rent was and told me he would cover it if I would be his girlfriend and that it would be my starting salary. I laughed and told him no but it took ages for me to be able to leave the porch and get back to the house. (it was haunting exclusively because I had just asked the universe to help me make some easy money and I was like “if this is the answer the universe has presented to me then I am going to have to decline.”)  

3. similar thread to that but one time I was walking around the neighborhood of the church I was living out of in americorp talking to one of my friends. there was an art museum nearby with a lit up porch so I decided to sit out there because it was (once again) late at night and I wanted to be in a visible area since I planned on talking for awhile. a man drove up on his bicycle and asked me how much I was asking for (for the night) and when I told him that I wasn’t interested he waved goodnight and disappeared into the night and then on the walk back I got chased by a wild dog.  

4. I used to work on a mountain and at the bottom of the mountain was a light rale that went straight to the city. my partner at the time lived in the city so when I got off around midnight I would hop on the light rail and stay the night. one night I came up to the light rail and there was a woman laying on the tracks. now at the time I was a counselor who had been trained in nonviolent restraint for the job I was working so as I’m coming up to her in my head I’m like “okay, this is what I’m going to do. I’m going to put her in this hold and safely get her off the tracks, then I’m going to see if I talk with her and maybe call someone - “ just making a plan of action and when she sees me she says “hey! watch the train for me will you?” and then I see her line up several coins on the tracks. I watch the train for her, she lines up coins. this goes on for a few minutes before she gets off the tracks and tells me about her sister in laws jewelry making business and how she does this once a week to get her supplies for it. it turned into be a fun conversation and turned out way differently then I anticipated. 

5. this is the only “positive” haunting experience on here but when I was in college I took a psychology class and one of the labs was at night. since it was lab for several of the classes we were working with students who we didn’t know. I got assigned to a table with a couple of guys in their twenties and this one man named pirate. pirate had long hair to his ankles, looked like he had just finished rolling a joint and looked asleep while we were preparing the lab. me and the other guys were eyeing each other like “oh, he’s not going to be particularly helpful” but then when we’re introducing ourselves he reveals that he has a phd and understands the lab way more than we do. 

halfway through the lab we’re chatting about what we do for a living and he’s like “oh, I read people’s handwriting.” and we’re like “what?” and he’s like “yeah, I can tell things about a person based on their handwriting.” and I ask him if he can do me and he agrees so I write my signature down and this man....this man tells me my whole life story. he knows I live in a basement, he knows my bedroom is messy but organized in a way I understand, he knows every mental illness I have (most undiagnosed at the time) he knows my sexuality, my gender, says “you have no male influence in your life. your father is either dead or absent.” (which was wrong, and he argued with me when I said he was alive and then was like “oh, well. he clearly doesn’t influence you much.) he absolutely read me for filth and then at the end he was like. “the only thing i can’t tell is whether you’ve smoked weed before?” and I told him I hadn’t. (I was 15-16 at the time) 

after the lab was over he offered to smoke me out for the first time and I agreed but told him if he tried to anything funny I would probably try to kill him and he was like “oh, I read your signature. I know.” and then we sat in the car and smoked from his pipe and I got high for the first time. I then told him there were things he saw in my signature that embarrassed me or made me feel ashamed and if there was any way that those would change and he said. “everyone’s writing changes. nothing is permeant. we are always growing.” and I think about that often. ever since that happened I change little elements of my writing whenever I start to feel stagnant. I think about him and where he is often. (and then right after that I sat on a bench and a man tried to sell me his juul and get my number and then when I escaped inside the college a whole group of people were singing disney songs in the darkened cafeteria) 

[lovemesomesurveys]

What would you tell to your eighth grade self? Keep the friends you have. Also, stop hair spraying your bangs and making them stiff--it’s not cute.

What did your last text message read? “Thnx, and yes I got his text.” --My Nana.

Something you really want right now? Coffee and food.

Will you regret your next kiss? Uh, I hope not? Who knows when that will even be, though.

Do you like how things are going? No.

Are you a cuddler? Not really to be honest.

What are you doing tonight? Same stuff as always. My aunt ended up staying another night, but I think she’s going home tonight.

Three months ago, can you remember who you liked? I wasn’t interested in anyone 3 months ago. It’s been a few years, actually.

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. We never were.

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I mean, I certainly didn’t envision wasting away after graduating college almost 6 years ago now.

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No.

What color was the last pill you took? White.

Do you believe “drunken words are sober thoughts”? Sometimes. Sometimes it’s just nonsense.

Who was the last person you had a serious conversation with? My aunt. We’ve had a lot of deep conversations these past few days that she’s been staying with us. She and I are very close and she’s someone who easily opens up and shares a lot. I’m definitely more of the listener, but still.

Have you hung out with any guys recently? My brother.

How tall are you? About 5′4.

Who will you be with this Friday? Today is Friday and I’ll be with my family. As of now, my aunt is here as well but I think she’s going home tonight.

Last time you laughed really hard? I’ve laughed a lot these past few days with my aunt. More so than I have in awhile.

What are you currently listening to? Myself typing and my TV.

Who was the last person you had a face to face conversation with, apart from family? My doctor.

Have you ever wasted too much time on a guy/girl? I don’t consider it time wasted despite things not working out. What are you looking forward to? Right now, I’m thinking about eating lol. 

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Nope.

A lyric from the song you’re listening to? I’m not listening to music.

What was the last thing you and your parents argued about? We last bickered a bit about some stuff I was being stubborn about and should have been doing regarding health related things but I wasn’t. 

Would you tattoo someone’s name on your body? No.

Have you ever let someone be your everything? Yes.

Do you bite your nails? I don’t bite them, but I pick them and use nail clippers constantly. 

Think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in their arms? Zero.

Do you hate the last person you kissed? No, not at all. 

How do you feel about your hair right now? Ugh. It’s a mess and in serious need of a dye job.

Whose hoodie did you wear last? My own.

Have you ever listened to music you hated just to fit in? Nah.

Whose birthday is coming up? My brother’s was yesterday. Next up is my dad’s next month.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? I tried to be, but I couldn’t.

The doctors just told you that you are pregnant - what’s your first thought? They clearly mixed me up with someone else cause that’s impossible. There’s zero chance.

Who was the last person you hugged? My aunt.

Do you have any saved texts? all of my texts save unless i delete them. <<< Yeah, the phone just keeps them. I’ve never deleted any.

Anything you want to tell someone but can’t? Meh.

What’s the last thing you drank? Water.

Are most of the friends in your life new or old? I don’t have friends.

Do you like pulp orange juice? I don’t like orange juice at all. Or any juice.

Do you prefer the tanning bed or sun? I don’t go tanning, but I’d just try to get one from the sun if I wanted to. I do get a tan whenever I go to the beach since I actually spend a significant amount of time outside when I go. That’s the only time.

Who was the last person you talked to last night? My aunt.

When was the last time you cried? About a week ago.

Where are your siblings? My younger brother is at work and I’m assuming my older brother is at home.

What about your mom and dad? My mom is here at home and my dad is at work.

Can you go in public looking like you do? Ew, no.

Would your parents care if you came home at 4am? No; I’m 31 years old. They’d be concerned, though. Especially since I never go anywhere or hang out with anyone anymore. If I was out that late it would definitely be unusual. However, I would have checked in to let let them know cause that’s how we are in my family.

Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? No.

What will you be doing tomorrow? Same stuff, different day.

What’d you have for dinner last night? I had Wingstop. 

Did you eat all of it? No, but a lot of it.

What temperature is it outside right now? 48F.

What color’s your hair? It’s dark brown naturally, but I’ve been dyeing it red. However, I’m a year overdo so my roots are quite overgrown and it’s like half and half now. :X

Do you like flowers? Sure.

What was the first thing you did when you woke up? Checked the time.

What kind of booze did you last take shots of? It was likely tequila. I haven’t drank in 8 years, so I don’t really remember.

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you that you were sexy? Yes. 

If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? I’m sad I didn’t get to see Linkin Park with Chester. :(

When did you last consume something that had peanut butter? Hmm. It’s been awhile, actually.

What color were the last pair of headphones/earphones you bought? I didn’t buy them, they were a gift, but they’re black.

How many people do you live with? Are these people related to you? 3 and yes, they’re my parents and brother.

Are you a confident person, or do you keep to yourself usually? I’m not confident at all.

Do you wash your own clothes? No, I need help with that so my mom does it.

Are you afraid of thunderstorms? No, I like them.

What type of soups do you like? I’m a ramen gal, but broccoli and cheddar soup is pretty good.

Would you go 2 days without eating for $200? I’ve gone a day without eating and a couple or so days with very little food because I was sick or having appetite issues, which I have a lot. If I was feeling like that I could do it. But there’s times my body feels like it’s starving and acts all dramatic even if it hasn’t been long since I last ate, so in that case it would be really hard to do.

Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Not that I know of.

Can you cook? I can make a good bowl of ramen, ha.

Have you dated the person you texted last? Uh, no. That’s my Nana...

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed? I’ve gone almost 10 years since the last time and when I did do it it wasn’t a regular thing, so yeah I think I could. I haven’t had any desire to do it.

When’s the last time someone made you feel like you mattered? My family does that.

Do graveyards thrill or terrify you? Neither.

What’s the next thing you have to do that you’re dreading? My next doctor appointment.

Do you ever wear polos? No.

Do you look pretty today? No. Not today or any day. 

Are you going out of town soon? No.

Who was the last person to make you mad? My doctor.

Do you have nightmares often? No, thankfully.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope.

Will you be in a relationship in 50 days? No. 

What happened last time you got drunk? I got really drunk and then threw up on myself in front of my friends and it was super embarrassing. My best friend at the time thankfully helped me clean up, but still. Ugh, it was awful. I was so sick that whole night and felt like shit the next day. I don’t know what happened that night because I honestly don’t remember drinking that much. I don’t know if I had a bad interaction with my medicine or what I did drink was really strong. I was completely turned off to alcohol after that, though, and haven’t drank since.

Do you feel uncomfortable sharing drinks with other people? Yeah, I don’t share drinks or food. Like, I’ll break off/cut/pour out what I’m eating and share that way, but I don’t let people bite off my food or use my utensil and vice versa. 

Do you want to know the date of your death? Absolutely not.

Do you miss the way things used to be? I miss the way a lot of things used to be.

Have you ever had a panic attack? Many times.

Do you like being called babe? Not really.

Is the last person you kissed more than 2 years older than you? No, he’s a year younger than me.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Not romantic feelings, no. 

Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person that kissed you? No.

Honestly if you could go back 9 months and change something, would you? Yes.

When is the next time you will kiss someone? I have no idea. I don’t see that happening anytime soon at all.

Were you happier 7 months ago or now? Neither then or now. 

Have you ever just felt like you could cry an ocean? Yeppp.

Would you live with someone without marrying them? Yes. I don’t plan on getting married, but even IF I did I would still want to see how things go living together first.

Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? My best friend is my mom, who is with my dad.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox? Mostly from my parents, especially my mom, but some from my brother, some from my Nana, some from my aunt, and some old ones from one of my cousins.

What time did you wake up today? I first fell asleep around 3AM, woke up at 530AM for a bit, fell asleep until like 730ish, and then fell asleep again until like 9 and I’ve been up ever since (it’s 10:27AM now). Sighhhh. I hate when I get up off and on like every hour or so  like that and hardly get any sleep at all. I’m so tired, but I can’t sleep. :(

Are you a different person now than you were 5 years ago? Most definitely. I’ve changed a lot and not in a good way. 

What were you doing at 4 am? Sleeping.

Do you reply to all of your texts? No, not all. It depends on the text. Not all need a reply or I just didn’t for whatever reason.

Favorite thing to eat with peanut butter? Bananas or chocolate.

What were you doing before you got on the computer? Sleeping.

What is the last thing you said out loud? Something to my aunt last night.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back? Forward.

Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car? Hand over the cash, please!

How bad are your hangovers? I had a few bad ones. The worst was definitely after the time I talked about earlier. 

Do you like being home alone or does it freak you out? I’m fine with it during the day, but I wouldn’t be at night.

Do you have any bruises on you? I don’t think so.

Is your last ex currently in a relationship? I don’t know.

Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories? Uh, yeah. Like everything.

How do you respond to being nervous? I get very fidgety and squirmy and anxious. I mess with my nails, I bite my lips, I play with my hair, twiddle my thumbs. My heart rate goes up. I have a hard time breathing. My stomach feels like its in knots. I sweat. ...not a fun time.

Who is the most recent addition to your contacts? I don’t even recall the last time I added a new contact.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? My mom has a purple heart.

Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor.

Have you ever thrown a cell phone in anger? No.

Are you wearing a necklace, who got it for you? I’m not wearing one.

Has anyone ever called you perfect before? Haaaa, no.

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with an A? Nope.

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone & what did you talk about? My mom when she called the other day to see if I wanted her to stop by somewhere on her way home to get me something to eat.

Do you have tan lines? No.

How are you feeling? Right now I’m tired and hungry. I also feel kind of sick cause I took my medicine on an empty stomach, which bothers me more sometimes than others. Today seems to be one of those times. :/

What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? Listened to ASMR and scrolled through Tumblr.

Ever feel like you’re not good enough? Many times. It’s been a constant feeling these past few years.

Were you smiling in the last picture taken of you? Yeah.

How many funerals have you been to? Three.

Movies or bowling? Movies.

At the beginning of September who were you "with"? I was single.

Is there a girl you can tell anything to? I could, yes.

What do the majority of people in your life call you? Steph.

Do you dye your hair? I get it done at the salon.

If you won a lot of money on the lottery, what would you buy first? I’d have to pay off my debt first and foremost.

Something you really want right now? I should drag myself outta bed and try to eat something.

Would you prefer being locked in a room with the person you like or best friend? My best friend, which is my mom.

What color shirt are you wearing? I’m wearing a black sweatshirt.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip piercing? No.

Has anyone told you they were in love with you? My first boyfriend (and technically only).

Have you ever cleaned up someone else's vomit? Noooo. I have a hard time with even my own.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? During my last surgery my blood pressure dropped dangerously low and the doctors freaked out.

Do you check your texts right away when you receive them? No, not always.

Have you ever kissed a blue-eyed person? Yes.

[onisionhurtspeople]

The Spiral of Narcissistic Abuse: Onision Edition

I originally wrote this post in April 2017, but in the year and a half since it’s been published, there have been literally dozens of new victims targeted by Greg (Onision) and his wife Lainey (Laineybot) that I felt were severe enough to warrant inclusion; and so here I am to re-write this post to include this new information. 

1. “Love Bombing”: Display of excessive attention and professions of deep love. “Soul mate.”

Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming a person in a new relationship with signs of adoration and attraction in the form of gifts, compliments, meaningful gestures, discussions revolving around long-term future plans (marriage, children, vacations, etc), and professions of true love. The difference between love bombing and genuine love is that real love is earned over time through intimacy, trust, and consistency, whereas love bombing creates artificial feelings of intimacy that have not yet been earned. 

Greg routinely engages in love-bombing when it comes to either a) trying to lure in new victims, or b) making attempts to reel in previous victims (such as exes), or current victims who are becoming disillusioned with him and beginning to pull away. In 2015, after Greg had convinced his wife Lainey to “explore her bisexuality” by getting a girlfriend, she had settled on an 18-year-old YouTube personality and makeup guru named Billie, and flew her down to their house for a visit. What Greg neglected to tell Lainey was that he had ulterior motives for pushing her to get a girlfriend, and this was because he wanted to convince Lainey and whoever her girlfriend was to enter a three-way, polyamorous triad with him. While Billie was there, in an attempt to draw her in, Greg showered her with gifts, compliments, and an excessive amount of attention and admiration; according to him, he paid her $1800 a month to manage his social media accounts, spent thousands of dollars buying her gifts of makeup and clothing, and his videos were full of glowing compliments towards Billie. 

He tweeted this at Billie after she managed to “fix” a broken camera lens by throwing it on the ground. He screams at his own children just for losing at Mario Kart, could you imagine Onision having this reaction to anybody else treating his expensive equipment that way?

Every time he and Lainey broke up with Billie (usually because she refused to go along with their bizarrely strict and controlling expectations for her behavioral conduct, such as having to ask their permission before smoking weed - and yes, you read that correctly; the problem was not that she was smoking weed because it was illegal (as Greg and Lainey had originally claimed), the problem was that she didn’t ask their permission before doing it), Greg would begin to reel Lainey back in by trying to love bomb her again. This comment was made just two days after he’d cheated on Lainey with Billie, while she was pregnant with their second child:

…and every time they get back together, he begins love bombing Billie again, and ignoring Lainey. He is careful not to do this overtly on Twitter or Instagram like he does with Lainey, but during this time, he expends much more effort into communicating with Billie over Twitter and in videos than he does with Lainey. He is also very clearly more physically affectionate towards Billie in videos where the three of them appear together than he is with his own wife.

(And maybe this is just my unprofessional opinion, but the manner in which he compliments Lainey rings much more hollow and inauthentic to me than the compliments he used to give to Billie. It comes off as very rote and robotic, not genuine or sincere.) 

2.  Over-protection and isolation in the name of love. “We only need each other.”

One of the most common tactics that abusers use to control their victims is by isolating them from friends and family. They do this so that it’s harder for them to escape or see the truth of what’s happening to them. This behavior is manifested in ways such as convincing the victim to stay at home and not have a job, by controlling all of the money that flows through the household (including the victim’s money, if they DO have a job), and by slowly convincing the victim to stop talking to their friends and family members, because the narcissist “doesn’t think they’re good for [them]”. Without a sense of perspective or anybody from whom to gain a third-party point of view, it’s extremely difficult for the victim to objectively analyze the severity of the situation. 

Throughout the history of his relationships, Greg follows this pattern with all of his partners to the tee. He makes repeated attempts to convince Billie to stop flying home to spend time with her friends and family members, who she is extremely close with.

Unbelievably, he attempts to manipulate her by bragging about how he’d already managed to successfully convince Lainey to not visit her own family more than once a year. In a livestream, Lainey once admitted that earlier this month (October 2018) was the first time she’s attended a family funeral in over five years, because Greg wouldn’t give her permission to go to any of the other ones. He also frequently attacks Lainey’s family on social media, as well as diminishing them in Lainey’s eyes by making his disapproval of them quite clear:

This is what he said about Lainey’s sister:

He especially does this to Lainey’s father, who saw through Greg from the very beginning, and desperately tried to stop his 17-year-old daughter from marrying him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sAjnkASwOo

He also did this with Skye while they were still married, restricting her from seeing anybody but members of his own family, and members of her family that he approved of (which was basically just her younger sister, a 15-year-old girl who Greg admitted to fantasizing about having sex with, including (more than once) accidentally moaning her name while being intimate with Skye). A quote from his website at the time:

January 24th, 2007

Alright, so it has been a few days since Skye and I hung out with another couple… judging from the fact that these people were the only ones we knew that had a lifestyle that wasn’t drugged out, beered out (also known as drugged out), smoked out, ethically lacking, rude etc. and we can’t even enjoy ourselves around them as much as we do each other… I just really don’t see myself and Skye spending time with anyone in the future other than family…

It seems that everyone who isn’t blood related has something extremely wrong with them… it may not be apparent at first, like a used car, but when you get on the road with them, and get to know them, the clanks and pings begin to show, maybe not after the first few miles, but definitely after the second or third ride.

(Source)

This isolation of Skye got so bad that eventually, two of their friends actually tried to convince her to leave Greg:

January 27th, 2007

I was going to post something extremely long about how upset I am with two people I know, within my personal life - who are continuously trying to break my wife and I apart psychically and vocally… but I’m not going to as I believe it can only cause a greater level of drama, which is exactly what they feed on.

In fact, they probably know I’m talking about them right now, and are dialing my number just to tell me/others how wrong I am for my wife, and somehow by saying I love her every hour of the day, feeding her full of yummy food, trying to make her happy emotionally/other ways, putting a roof over her head, that in result of that I’m a bad husband.

(Source)

A former classmate of Greg, who had gone to high school with both he and Skye, also gave an interview with someguy827, in which he detailed his observations of Greg slowly but surely isolating Skye from all of her friends and family members:

You can read the interview here. (Source)

And read the comment that he made on lolcow here. (Source)

3. Power gained by social isolation and artificially inflated self-esteem. “I feel like a better person with I am with them.”

Greg has claimed this about every single one of his exes. I can’t track down photographic examples of him claiming this about all of them never mind, I managed to find examples of him saying this to at least three different women. Here’s an example of when he said it to ex-girlfriend Adrienne:

Keep in mind that they had been dating for a grand total of two weeks when he made the claim to her that she had helped him grow into a better person in the short amount of time they’d been together. 

He made the same claim about a high school girlfriend, Tanya, whom - again - he had known for only a couple of weeks; and they were not even officially dating when he said this to her:

Here is another example of him saying this about his first wife, Skye - again, only weeks into their relationship. The journal entry this screenshot was lifted from is much longer and I was having trouble pasting it into the body of this text in a way that was readable, so here’s a very short, cropped version of what he said. You can find the source for this quote here. (Source)

At the end of his relationship with Adrienne - while they were in the process of breaking up - he called her repeatedly while she was at work, leaving her over a dozen voicemails in less than a day. During this time, Adrienne managed to get in touch with Shiloh, another of Greg’s exes, to compare notes about the similarities in their relationship. When Shiloh listened to the voicemails that Greg had sent to Adrienne, she posted this comment on Facebook:

He had been telling the two women, only hours apart from each other, about how special and meaningful they were to him. The saddest thing about this is that at the same time, he was also calling Skye; and this exchange between himself, Shiloh, and Adrienne occurred only days before he started talking to Lainey. 

4. Creation of a feeling of dependency; induction of fear of the loss of relationship.

One of the ways that Greg likes to induce feelings of psychological dependence on him is through a tactic called “manipulation break-ups”. The phenomenon is explained here by dwayners13:

One of the most common tactics used by manipulative & emotionally abusive individuals is the ‘manipulation breakup’. This is simply when a person repeatedly breaks up with their partner, not because they truly want to end their relationship, but rather to gain power & control over their partner & the relationship in general. There are a variety of issues & events that can cause a manipulation breakup (far too many to list here), but it can range from their partner doing something they don’t like/approve of to the emotionally abusive person being confronted on their abusive/manipulative behavior (by their partner &/or their partner’s family/friends). [...]  Instead of taking the time to discuss or even arguing about the issue in an attempt to resolve it, the person will just break up with them, knowing that their partner doesn’t want to break up. They will then refuse to speak with them about the issue (& the relationship in general), essentially shunning or ignoring their attempts. This can include ignoring phone calls, text messages, VMs etc.., If the couple live together, they will simply refuse to speak with their partner (aka the silent treatment). Their intention is to make it seem like the relationship is over, so that the person will practically beg & plead with their partner & be willing to agree to anything in order to get back together.

(Source)

Greg and Lainey both admitted to him doing this multiple times throughout their relationship; and still, to this day, they admit that he attempts to break up with her every single time they argue, even though they’re married and have been for over seven years. It is extremely abnormal for a 34-year-old father of two who has been married for seven years to threaten to “break up” with his wife every time they get into an argument. These attempts at manipulation on Greg’s part terrify Lainey so much that she readily complies with whatever he wants in order to convince him not to leave her. This pattern could not be more apparent than how this manipulation tactic played out in their relationship with Billie. 

During the time when Greg and Lainey were in a polyamorous relationship with Billie, Lainey expressed repeated discomfort about Greg and Billie spending so much time together while she was excluded by having to spend so much time cooking, cleaning, looking after their their son (she was pregnant with their daughter at the time), and managing their household (which we now know, thanks to Maya, that Greg does not help out with at all, meaning that Lainey spent the vast majority of her day doing these things while Greg and Billie were in another room playing games, making videos, and hanging out). She felt that Billie was only there for Greg, and was not comfortable with them being sexually intimate together, even when it was all three of them together. After a while of this - despite Lainey’s continued discomfort, disapproval, and lack of consent (which is vital for any healthy, functioning polyamorous triad) - Greg told Lainey that there would be more more boundaries, no more jealousy, and that he and Billie were going to do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted; and that if Lainey didn’t like it, then he was going to divorce her. 

Naturally, terrified of losing her husband, her family, her home, her source of income, and the only lifestyle that she’d ever known - with a three-year-old in tow, and pregnant with their second child - Lainey felt forced to remain in the three-way relationship that she didn’t even want to begin with. 

A quote from his video, “Onision’s Break Up Story”:

“I told my wife that there would be no more rules in the relationship. That there would be no more boundaries, no more jealousy, and that I would do what I want.”

(Source)

After this quote, Greg goes on to explain that he reassured his wife that he had no intention of leaving her; however, how could Lainey believe this, when just a few months before he had attempted to leave her for Billie, which only didn’t end up happening because Billie told him that she didn’t feel right about it? When he had threatened to leave her so many times before over much smaller and less significant things? He goes on to say this:

“Regardless, it is important to note that Billie did tell me that she thought Lainey might be upset if she and I slept together, but every time she indicated she was worried, I would remind her of the conversation I had with Lainey where I repeatedly told her there would be no more boundaries, we would all have balanced relationships, and that there would be no jealousy.” 

This is an ultimatum. The reason why Lainey went to Billie to ask her not to sleep with Greg is because she already knew that he would shut her down if she tried. Ask yourself this question: for what reason would a woman feel more comfortable asking other women not to sleep with her husband, instead of just going straight to the source and simply asking her husband not to sleep with other women instead? The answer is that it’s because she already knew that he would say no and try to divorce her if she kept bringing it up. It is not unreasonable for Lainey to believe Greg capable of doing this, considering that he has admitted in the past to leaving one woman for another (when he left Skye for Shiloh in 2011):

Greg doesn’t just do this to Lainey, however; he has done this, to my knowledge, with every other woman he’s ever dated. The following is a screenshot of a portion of the letter written by Adrienne - the 26-year-old that Greg dated for three weeks just before he met Lainey - describing how Greg attempted to manipulate her through making her fear the loss of the relationship:

Later on in the same letter:

The entirety of the letter written by Adrienne can be read here. If you’re interested in understanding how Greg’s mind works, I highly recommend reading it - it is extremely insightful, analytical, and well-written. 

5. Restrictive control of resources and activities enforced by induction of guilt, or fear of anger.

It’s no secret that Greg attempts to restrict the activities that his girlfriends are allowed to participate in. This ranges from the aforementioned control over how often they’re allowed to visit their families, to whether or not they’re allowed to have a job (a tactic reported by several of his exes and by Greg himself), to how often they’re allowed to go out with their friends, and even to what they are and are not allowed to eat.

In the following screenshot, a blog post by Shiloh months after they’d broken up, she details how he not only manipulated her into cutting off contact with her friends and family back home, but also convinced her to put her music career on hold so that they could be together all the time:

(You can read the full post here.)

He also talked Skye into quitting her job once he began making enough money off YouTube, with the reasoning that couples should be spending at least 50% of their time together. (I’m having trouble finding the screenshot for this, but it’s out there somewhere - I’ve seen it before.) Here is a similar screenshot, however:

He would also become extremely angry with Adrienne when she wanted to go out with her friends…

...and tried to manipulate her into quitting her job, moving in with him, and depending entirely on him as her source of income, all within three weeks of meeting her. 

6. Gaslighting causes victim to doubt what they see or hear. Inability to trust own thoughts and reasoning.

When Lainey first broke up with Greg and was considering divorce after he cheated on her with Billie, she admitted that she had never even wanted a girlfriend to begin with, and that it had been Greg who was pressuring her into it…

…but later, when Lainey recounted her side of the story in a response video to the one that Billie released, she adamantly maintained that it was she who had wanted to experiment with her bisexuality - evidence that Greg had been gaslighting her into believing that he was not at fault, yet again, and that it was Lainey who had desired to keep bringing back Billie over and over again. The tweet posted in first part of this screenshot was taken only six months after the tweet in the second part:

In addition - despite having told Lainey that it was his decision to sleep with Billie, and despite having literally admitted in a video that he published on YouTube to Billie having repeatedly brought up her discomfort with going behind Lainey’s back in order to be intimate with Greg - he still managed to convince Lainey to doubt her own perceptions enough to the point where she now, to this day - over two years later - still considers Billie to be the homewrecker, and that it was Billie who cheated on her with Greg, not Greg who cheated on her with Billie. That is how manipulative he is. 

During one of the periods in time when Greg and Lainey had broken up with Billie yet again, Lainey began talking to a new girl named Hailey (known online as Luxymoo). At first, Hailey believed that her relationship with Lainey would be exclusive; but after Greg informed her that the relationship would actually be an open polyamorous one, she realized that she was uncomfortable with the arrangement and decided to pull out. Despite the fact that she had every right to choose not to go through with it, Greg then attempted to gaslight her and invalidate her feelings:

After that I started doing research on what it meant to be in a three way relationship, I came to the conclusion that it wasn’t for me. Which killed me, because all I wanted to do was be with Lainey. I wanted to try for them, but at the end of the day, I had to consider my personal feelings on the matter. I knew I couldn’t be what they wanted, because I wanted Lainey.

I told Lainey as soon as I came to that conclusion. I wanted to be honest. I didn’t want to drag it out. Lainey didn’t respond to me.. but Greg did. He said that if he were in my position, he would do whatever it takes to be with Lainey. He said that I didn’t really care about Lainey, that all I was looking for was friendship. He said that he thought my mind was broken. He said he thought I may be sexually dormant. He then would say that he thinks i’m a good person and that i’m the safer alternative. He called me a good distraction.

He wanted me to still come up. But that was a fleeting thought. He said friendship would be hard, and that I was doing everything I could to avoid a relationship with Lainey. Then he pitched the idea of me being with Lainey exclusively, while he’s with Lainey exclusively. Like we wouldn’t be doing sexual things together. I still declined because 1. he had spent so much time invalidating MY feelings on the matter, attacking my personality, pressuring me, etc. and 2. I also knew that that wasn’t what they wanted, and I told him that we would still hit that road block of me wanting exclusiveness. He had said in a previous conversation that it was like him and Lainey were on an island and I had a boat, but I wouldn’t throw them a life line because I wasn’t the right boat.

(The full conversation and screenshot can be seen here.)

He also tried to use this tactic on Maya - a girl who dated Lainey very briefly in late 2017 - in an attempt to preemptively gaslight her and discredit her, should she choose to come forward with her story about what he did to her:

Which he did, in fact, try to do later on, by attempting to accuse Maya of being a “homewrecker” for “wiggling while she was sitting on his lap” (despite not mentioning that he was the one who had placed her there, which she did not consent to, and only went along with because she felt so uncomfortable). The posts detailing her full account can be found here and here. 

7. Increased emotional and psychological dependence of victim on abuser.

Greg has already succeeded in doing this with Lainey and many other girlfriends in the past, and has attempted to do this to several more. When married to Skye, Greg insisted that she not have a job outside of the home because he believes that a couple should spend most of their time together (despite later claiming that spouses who do not have a job outside the home, or at least have children, are useless). After meeting Shiloh, despite the fact that she was a celebrity in Canada at the time they met, he forced her to quit her singing career and move in with him to work for and with him full-time; to this day, over seven years later, her singing career still has not recovered. Upon breaking up with Shiloh, he dated a woman named Adrienne, who he attempted to manipulate into moving in with him within three weeks of the start of their relationship - and she almost did. And likewise, when he began dating Lainey, within a month of meeting her, he had proposed to her, rented a house in the state where she lived so that she could finish high school, and then married and impregnated her within the year, so that he could groom her and keep tabs on her until she was old enough to marry. 

Lainey does not have a job, and is completely financially and psychologically dependent upon Greg for not just survival, but her very sense of identity and self-worth as a person. In fact, she is so dependent on Greg as a source of ego regulation that I wrote an entire post breaking down and analyzing my impression of Lainey’s personality matrix because I was so baffled by the extent of her psychological dependency on him. You can read it here, if you’re curious (and have a lot of spare time). 

8. Punishment through anger, verbal abuse, forced isolation, character assassination, etc.

When angry with ex-girlfriend Shiloh, he pushed her into a door frame, causing her to miscarry (although some people do not believe that she was pregnant, since she and Greg had once faked a pregnancy and stillbirth):

He also forced her to shave her head bald, calling her a “whore”, “his property”, and “a good bitch”:

When Billie lied to him about smoking weed, he attempted to punish her by forcing her to dye her eyebrows green, shave off her hair (the third time he has attempted to, or succeeded in, manipulating a girlfriend to shave her hair off), get an ugly tan, be chained to his basement wall for a week wearing a sign saying “I’m sorry for lying Lainey” around her neck, and tattoo “I’m a liar” in the small of her back:

When he breaks up with exes, he also slanders and demeans their character on social media. He even does this with friends, other YouTubers, and sometimes just with people - usually women - that he doesn’t like. Including myself, by the way:

Proud moment. :’)

He made a video criticizing his ex (Adrienne) for the number of sexual partners she’s had, as well as implying that her vaginal hygiene was poor, and even made a series of videos in which he went and got himself tested for various STDs in order to imply that she was so promiscuous that she could have given him one (a video which later got deleted off YouTube when he realized how many downvotes it was getting); however, you can see her reference the video in her letter here:

When he and Skye divorced, he slandered her by calling her a thief and a liar, and continued to milk sympathy from his fans by implying that he was unfairly being forced to pay alimony, even though he agreed to the amount in the settlement, and she was rightly owed that money for her part in producing his early Onision videos.

When he broke up with Billie, he said and did several things to demean her character, including calling her a drug addict, imply that she’s “less than” for being a high school dropout who lives with her parents still, and also revealed to his entire fan base that she has an eating disorder, accused her family of being drugs addicts, and that she had been sexually assaulted and had an abortion, a secret which she had previously revealed to only a handful of close friends and family:

After Blaire White called him out for his actions, he made a video calling her so many different vile names, with such vitriolic hatred in his voice, that I actually have trouble watching it all the way through. You can really see his narcissistic rage coming out in this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEVHT6No5Xc

He has exhibited this cycle over and over again with YouTuber Cyr, who he has been friends with off and on for years:

Most recently - meaning since I first wrote this post (about a year and a half ago) - he has continued in this pattern of slandering ex-girlfriends and ex-friends a further three or four times at least; and so this is the part of this sub-heading that will provide new information that was not included in my old post.

After Jaclyn Glenn began dating Richie of SocialRepose, Greg flew off the handle, making a series of insulting comments about Jaclyn’s physical appearance on Twitter and YouTube, including remarking that tall women are gross, and that had she been dating him, he never would have allowed her to get breast implants, because they’re disgusting (and she’s disgusting for having them):

Since she has broken up with Richie, Greg has now reverted to his attempts at love-bombing Jaclyn (and her friend Jessie Paege) on Twitter, hoping to reignite their friendship (and the possibility of bringing her into a new trinity with Lainey, or at least hoping that she’ll be able to give a boost to his YouTube career). 

A few months ago, a close friend of both Greg and Lainey - model, actress, and member of the BDSM community Madison DeCambra - made a video with Greg about the DDlg (Daddy Dom/little girl) kink, which was received very poorly by the DDlg community. Feeling responsible for having hurt and contributed to the misrepresentation of the community that she loves so much, Madison posted a video on YouTube apologizing for any pain that her involvement in Greg’s video may have caused. Greg reacted to this by terminating their six-year-long friendship, as well as - predictably - going on a tirade of character assassinations against her on Twitter, including bringing her two-year-old daughter into it despite having previously accused anyone willing to bring a person’s children up during an argument of being trash. 

These were the texts he sent to Madison, which he then posted publicly on Twitter in order to discard and defame her:

(Source)

Here is a screenshot of Madison arguing with TomatoBisquette (another former friend of Greg’s whom he has discarded, in his case for being friendly towards MrRepzion, a YouTuber who Greg hates for having called him out in the past), who had tried to make light of how upset she was when Greg posted on Twitter telling her that he was disgusted by her and never considered her a friend:

He also used the opportunity to take another pot-shot at Beck - a former fan of Greg and Lainey before she, too, was ousted from their lives - for defending Madi:

However, the worst part of this interaction is that he chose to bring Madison’s two-year-old daughter into the argument, just because he was angry with her mother. Here was Madison’s (understandably angry and hurt) response:

A recent addition to the roster of the Avaroe’s stable of ex-friends, Maya - a 19-year-old bartender who briefly dated Lainey, and who visited them for about a week over the Christmas holidays in 2017 - described Greg’s behavior towards her as being bizarrely, uncomfortably interested in probing her about her past. She felt that he was pressing her for information to use against her in the future, and described the odd, inappropriate expression of pleasure that would come across his face while he was listening to a person describe some misfortune that had befallen them:

It would take me ages to compile a list of all of the exes, friends, YouTubers, and other randoms that he’s demeaned on social media or in his videos, so instead I’m just going to provide a (probably incomplete, and still-growing) list of people whose characters he has assassinated on Twitter or YouTube:

Exes: Skye, Shiloh, Adrienne, Billie 

Friends: Cyr, Andy Biersack (and his father), TomatoBisquette, Maya, Madison DeCambra, Beck, Jaclyn Glenn

YouTubers: Social Repose, Blaire White, Eugenia Cooney, Dan Howell, Keemstar, LeafyIsHere

Other: Ayallah (best friend of Billie, ex-girlfriend of Social Repose), Lainey’s family (father and sister), his own father, Luxymoo (Hailey)

9. Scouting new supply.

Before he had even divorced Skye, he moved on to Shiloh. When Shiloh left him and went back to Canada, he met Adrienne. When he broke up with Adrienne and she refused to take him back, he was texting Shiloh and Skye within 24 hours. When Skye, Shiloh, and Adrienne all refused to take him back, he then moved on to Lainey, who he had met and proposed marriage to within just a few short weeks of meeting. When he got bored of the ultimate power that he exerted over Lainey, he used her as queerbait to pull in Billie. When he and Lainey broke up with Billie - still bored with Lainey - he began auditioning new girls for a spot in his harem (Hailey/Luxymoo, Eryn, Maya, Sam, Beck). Here is a timeline of Greg’s known romantic relationships over the past fifteen years:

If Greg’s high school classmate is to be believed, however, then there are many, many women that Greg has been with that did not make this list.

And finally, here’s a funny, tongue-in-cheek chart chronicling the pattern of what happens when Greg and Lainey bring a new girl into the house: 

Lainey doesn’t know it yet, but this entire cycle is going to begin repeating itself sooner or later. It’s just a matter of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were lowkey auditioning girls as I write this.

10. Acting as though nothing happened.

Need I say more?

[the-marty-mcfly-timeline]

Gay Scale of Pop Punk™️

Palaye Royale: 1. On the scale, probably not super gay but definitely thinks about shirtless Brad Pitt a fucking lot, but like doesn’t everyone? Right? Probably says “I’m not gay, but if I was...”. Like a straight person could create that aesthetic out of pirates, red and My Chemical Romance. Takes Queer Eye advice to heart. Could be a 5 if they admitted they’re not straight.

Panic! At the Disco: 2. Not as gay as they claim. They used to be super gay. Basically Ryan was the gayest one and everyone else just went with it. Probably loves Fight Club, but not because of Brad Pitt. It gave them a gun kink which they hide by dressing like circus freaks. Chuck Palahniuk is their gay culture. Has been through every type of phase. Loves the 70’s and just wants a chill weed hippie vibe but needs to stay relevant. Watched Rocky Horror once. Now they're just sad and alone and trying not to OD. Partying and cheap suits.

Arctic Monkeys: 3. Not really gay but somewhat bicurious. Edgy but now he looks like the old dude from Glow. Seriously considered the 70’s weed dealer look for like a week. Makes shit up for views. Dances like a dad. Clock Work Orange gays, it gave Alex Turner a crime kink which he hides through alternating leather, denim and suits

All Time Low: 3.5. Not inherently gay but also the weird place where bisexuality and Bi-curiosity start to be the same. Supports the hell out of lesbians. “Hold my beer while I jump off the roof” culture. Hurt deeply and drowning but in a chill way. Still calls things “Gucci”, doesn’t know what the “Gucci gang” is but still uses it even though Urban Dictionary didn’t tell them. #Squad

Weezer: 4. Bi culture. Sad weed smoking and being awkward. Whoops my girlfriends a lesbian. The end part of Undone when they're both singing two different parts of a song that has no definable pronouns. Also, rarely any pronouns in their songs. Thank God For Girls is solidarity

Metro Station: 4.5. She Likes Girls is so good and they're true allies. Shake It goes super hard y'all are just cowards

The 1975: 5. Doesn't define their sexuality but very clearly loves girls. "One Direction paved the way for the Beatles". Their goal in life is Harry Styles. Palaye could very clearly beat them out if they just admitted Dr. Frank N Furter turned them on

Black Kids: 6. Im Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You was so much solidarity between her and her brother. Seriously. It was in Jennifer’s Body too. Plus it was 80's synth pop

Cobra Starship, The Academy Is... and Gym Class Heroes: 7. Yeah like a fuckin straight person wrote Snakes On A Plane. Hot Mess is gay culture and so is One Day Robots Will Cry,, Gabe Saporta is doing so good now,, baby boy and evil. Travie McCoy is such a good guy I fucking trust him so much he can do anything. William Beckett? Y'all even heard His Guy Friday, plus that song he did with Ryan Ross? Him as a person tho? Most non-triumphant, he can’t sit with us

Fall Out Boy: 8. Definitely gay. Has admitted they’re bi, but still very attached to one romance for 10 years. Parties but sad parties you reminisce about for a long time. Probably would not be wearing a shirt or pants if those were not required to enter Pizza Hut. Ate weed and eyeliner one time. Pretends to be a cool chic edgy person, but in reality still a gremlin.

Paramore: 9. Sad, misses the 80's back when they weren't alive. Sad lesbian and sad queer friends culture. Misery Business is a boyfriend stealing anthem for everyone. Just wants things to be okay. Bubble gum, neon punk culture at its core. Futch culture for guys, gals and nb pals. Never had a solid hair color for more than 10 minutes. A mess but a cool funky superb one. If Tan France would wear it then it’s good enough for them.

My Chemical Romance: 10. Red eye shadow is for the gays. There is no way a straight person has those kinks, that aesthetic and fucking wrote those albums. Gerard Way probably went down on Bert McCracken and hates his dad. The Used is also in this category, but that’s more of a horny sad gay, rather than a muderous one

Green Day: 11. Y'all I shouldn't even have to explain. Green Day is gay as hell just like everything else Billie Joe Armstrong does. Also, piss kinks. Billie is a dumb butch and his wife is such a fucking goddess. Dookie is bi culture. Has 40 different versions of something but only uses the same one.

The Killers: 12. Transcends the scale, but keeps it on the down low. Has had so many failed straight relationships even tho they know they’re gay, they just can’t let go of the past. It’s laughable to think Andy You’re A Star, Bones, Mr. Brightside, Somebody Told Me and Where the White Boys Dance are heterosexual in anyway. Falls in love with the worst people. Makes bad decisions about who they fall for and fully accepts it. Had one dramatic thing going that ended in prison and won’t admit that they haven’t loved since. Is so tired, and just wants to stop running but can’t commit to anything. Knows how every past relationship failed and exactly how they could fix it but that’s not happening ever. The American Dream ruined them too, but in a different way where they’ve always been disappointed and hollow.

[domiandsascha]

Wimbledon diary ~ Tuesday the 3rd of July 2018

If you've followed my adventures at the French Open (x x x x x), you must know I don't do short reviews so… You've been warned :D

I arrived at Wimbledon early, alone (because Jue, my partner in crime, had to work until 1pm) and super stressed. We had tickets for Court 1, which granted us access to every single court except for Centre Court and Court 2. The order of play on Court 1 was Kyle Edmund, then Petra Kvitova, then Novak Djokovic. Pretty good and Jue was super happy that she wouldn't miss the beginning of Novak's match. Also the program on the side courts was awesome. BUT. Massive BUT. Bigger than Domi's but-- Shut up Helene. BUT, on Court 2, Sascha, then Domi were playing. And, I mean… What are the chances of having the both of them, on the same court, the exact same day I'm attending a tournament? One percent? Well, that was the one, I couldn't miss it and I was ready to sell my soul to the Queen for a Court 2 ticket. Few problems: The Queen was nowhere to be found (although I've heard that Meghan was around that day, I should have looked for her). I had only one ticket to exchange which made my task trickier as people, weirdly, have friends and family. And mostly, Wimbledon officials are crazy uptight and bound by rules. So the one rule I heard over and over again during my first hour in the resort was "Tickets are not exchangeable". It felt like I was talking to robots. One guy even told me I would be removed if I were to try and swap my ticket outside of Court 2. Seriously? Dude, come on, have some weed and chill… Anyway, I usually like and follow rules but I decided to completely disregard this one. I made my way to Court 2, at the very end of the resort, and started my quest, using my sweetest smile and sweetest French accent. It was still quiet as matches hadn't started yet, but there were already people waiting outside the court. I truly believed my "Edmund + Djoko" combo was gonna be super appealing to British tennis fans but it turned out it wasn't. The five first persons I approached bluntly replied "Absolutely not. Court 2 is way better today!" Well, yeah, I know… but you guys aren't supposed to think the same! The only interested guy I found had a girlfriend who had no intention of spending the day away from him… It started to feel like I was gonna fail, when I spotted a woman, obviously on her own and who seemed nice enough to hear me out. When I asked if she would be interested on swapping for a Court 1 ticket, she replied "No." She paused, just the time for my heart to break again, and then she casually added "But I've got a spare ticket for Court 2 if you want." OMG. It was good I was wearing my sunglasses because I legit started tearing up. She refused my money offer and just gave it to me. I could have hugged her, but she didn't look like the hugging type and I didn't want to scare her to the point of changing her mind, as we were about to spend the day next to each other. But I gave her my Court 1 ticket, which she gladly accepted. OMG. I couldn't believe my luck. I couldn't process I was actually gonna see Sascha and Domi. I couldn't go and sit down yet. I needed to calm down. I needed a coffee, three cigarettes, a wee and a walk. So I left Court 2 to go and explore the resort I had barely looked at earlier, too obsessed with my mission. Gosh, Wimbledon is so so so pretty, all green and purple and flowery. It makes you want to drink all the Pimm's and eat all the strawberries (but to do so, you'd need all the money…). I crossed path with Rafa in an alley, the exact same way I had at Roland Garros : he was surrounded by security, followed by a crowd of fans, super close yet untouchable (I mean, I could have touched him, but I wasn't taking any risk to be actually removed by security now that I had my ticket haha). But my timing is always quite amazing! I tried to go to the fanzone, which is the only place where players stop for pictures and autographs on their way back from practice, but it was packed so I turned around. I went to sit and drink my coffee on the Henman Hill, because apparently, you cannot go to Wimbledon and not sit once on the hill, and then I went back to Court 2 to watch the second set of Jo Konta's match. I discovered how good my seat was and I tore up again. OMG I was so close!!!! Jo was lovely enough to win her 2nd set tie break so there it was : Sascha time! I think I lost plenty of brain cells when he walked on court. I don't need to describe how amazing he looked in his white kit, you've all seen the pictures, but. Wow. And his hair is just perfection. He's truly a piece of sunshine. The 1rst set was tight, but I was too happy to stress. Plus he was playing really good and won it. The way he "Come ooooooooon!" after he got the break destroyed what was left of my brain cells. He also yelled in Russian at some point, that was hot. I was a bit disappointed with the British crowd, way quieter than the French one. It was deeeeead. The only person I could hear was Hugo, Sascha's physio, and his constant "Allez, allez, allez!!!!" haha. I tried to scream "Come on Sascha!!" once and ten people turned to look at me like "what the hell are you doing girl?" so I kept cheering for him in my mind. There was something highly disturbing : whenever Sascha was on his chair, and even sometimes on the court, he was looking towards me. I'm not saying he was looking at me, I know he wasn't, there was no way I was standing out from the rest of the crowd, no. He was probably looking at the score board above me. But as it felt like it, I chose to believe he was looking at me haha. Fun. He won the 2nd set super easily and I totally called the 3rd set bagel. I said it to Claire, my ticket provider, and she didn't believe me. But I was right. Sascha was doing everything perfectly and his opponent wasn't doing much anymore. So straight sets stress-free victory. Thank you Sascha! I think the gods of tennis should make it a regular thing : if I attend one of my favs' match, my fav should always win easily, for the sake of my nails, my hair, my stomach and my sanity. That'd be super great. Yeah. That would have been great to ask the gods before the start of Domi's match… Oh sadness… But let's start at the beginning. D.o.m.i.n.i.c. First of all, he was clean-shaved. Clean-shaved Domi makes me weak, it's not even funny. Second of all, he looked like an angel who could sin at any second in his white kit and I. couldn't. handle. it. Third of all, I just love him so much, it's unreal. I spent the entire warm-up staring at him, my hand on my chest, smiling like an idiot, feeling blessed. If a therapist were to ask me where my happy place is, I'd say "On a tennis court bleacher, ten rows away from Dominic Thiem". Also, just like Sascha, he was looking in my direction all the time, so my heart was crumbling. I was legit talking to him, moving my lips and all, just in case he would actually look at me at some point and understand my motivation speeches haha (spoiler alert : he obviously didn't…). Now, the match itself. Well… Not gonna lie, it's way more fun to watch him on clay. I didn't have much expectations for Wimbledon but I believed he could at least beat Baghdatis. Until he got broken. And lost the 1rst set. Then got broken again. And lost the 2nd set… I was mad at him, yet still hopeful at first, but I quickly made my peace with the idea I was going to watch him lose badly. Because he wasn't "there". He wasn't yelling at himself or fist bumping like he does when he truly wants it. He looked so out of it. I couldn't understand why, as I hadn't made much of his fall in the first set. Sure, it had been quite a bad and scary one, but he had stood up so quickly and acted like it was nothing. So it was nothing to me. I went out for a smoke between the 2nd and the 3rd set so when my friends talked about the physio in our group chat, it was a massive and very unpleasant surprise. I rushed back in and… baby… <///3 He looked so small and fragile, it broke me (and also, how do I become a physio on call please??). The 3rd set started really badly and at this point, it just felt like watching the inevitable. So it was almost a relief when he retired. It was still sudden and heartbreaking and disappointing as I wouldn't have minded an extra set of clean-shaved white-wearing Domi. But it was safer, all things considered. A small consolation : I'm 90% sure Günter spotted me from the box. He was on the opposite of the court but right in front of me and looking in my direction super often (really, there probably was someone or something super attractive on my bleacher!). At some point I was standing to stretch my legs and Günter kind of froze and removed his sunglasses as if he wanted to have a better look. His eyes were clearly on me, but I got too shy to wave or nod, stupid me haha. So after a few seconds, he went back to his conversation with Alex. But yeah, I believe he had a flash of "I've seen this girl before" and as I still want him to adopt me, it really pleased me. I left the court immediately after Domi did and ran to the side courts area. Jue had arrived during Sascha's match. She had been to Diego's match, then Karen's match, but she was now on Court 1 for Djoko. I was a bit torn between Karen and Mischa vs PH. But they were closer and as I managed to find a seat in the first (and only haha) row, I stayed there. PH was already two sets up and playing amazing. I was cheering for both though. After Domi, it was soothing to watch this match. Both outcomes would have made me happy. I realized towards the end that Alexander Senior and Irina Zverev were six seats away from me. When Mischa lost, we left the court at the same time. I walked right behind them in the crowded alley (didn't have any other choice) then I passed them, but I turned around on an impulse. My friend Aline really wanted me to ask them if she could marry their youngest son, but I'm not that bold haha. I just said congratulations for Sascha's win and wished them luck for the rest of the tournament. Alexander thanked me five times and Irina just smiled, nicely. Next time Aline, next time… I saw Nadal again, standing on a bridge above an alley and being a sweetheart. Karen had won so I tried to go see Shapo but the queue for his court was huge. So I went to buy a Pimm's (thought Domi's heartbreaking match called for some comfort alcohol) and decided to try and push my luck because why not ? I texted Jue to get our gate-row-seat number on Court 1, thinking I could pretend I had lost my ticket or something (I knew Claire wasn't on my seat then). Didn't even need to. Perfect timing being perfect, I walked in with a group. The security guys were too overwhelmed to check tickets. Haha! Epic win! So I finally joined Jue and we watch Djoko destroy Sandgren and everything was right in the world. Then we tried Shapo again. Impossible again. So we went to the court where Benoit was playing. As we've certainly been blessed by all the gods of tennis, after two minutes, we were seated, front row, next to each other. Benoit was so much fun to watch hahahaha. We laughed a lot. And we cheered in French, really loudly, so after he won, he smiled at us and gave us a thankful thumb up. He didn't come to our side to sign stuff but he had to leave the court same way as the audience. He spent so much time in the alley, taking pictures and being amazing with fans. We both got a selfie with him. Gotta love Benoit. We went back to Shapo's court and queued, but we didn't have much hope to get in. Our only chance would have been for him to lose the 4th set and we couldn't wish that to happen. So we just spent fifteen minutes, listening to the cheering, chatting with a French fan and following the England football game on our phones. Shapo won and I made my way to the bleacher just in time to see him wave goodbye. That's something I guess haha. There was only one match still on : Sharapova on Court 2. And again, we decided to try our luck. They were still checking tickets at the doors, which I found silly and unfair considering half of the court was empty. British people and their rules… Anyway, I showed mine and hid Jue behind me so she managed to sneak in. Truly, we win at life. I didn't think someone could be as loud as Maria, but I was wrong. Vitalia Diatchenko is. Their long rallies were hilarious to listen to. It was kind of a shocker to see Vitalia win this one, but she played great tennis so that was well deserved. And… that was it. Tennis was over for the day. So we wandered around the resort and then we left, hungry, tired but so so so so so so so happy. We're going back tomorrow. We're on Court 1. And. OMG AGAIN ! They put Sascha on Court 1!!!!! Ahhhhhhh! I was so sure they wouldn't!!!! I'm so happy! We'll also see Simona's match and Kyrgios VS Nishikori. I mean, we probably won't watch this one as Karen will be playing on a side court. So will PH and Nico! And also, Dennis Novak didn't finish today so unless it collides with Sascha's match, I'm so gonna go cheer the hell out of my lungs for him (and ask Günter to adopt me). I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh and if you're watching Sascha's match, I'll be wearing my green Germany jersey so you might see me on TV (they kept showing jersey-wearing people during Angie and Sascha's matches yesterday) :D Thanks for reading and thanks for all your lovely messages and comments when I said I had managed to swap my ticket <3

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Austin episode 3 reaction

My favorite comment this week on the Skam Austin Facebook page:

Why do you use the font that SPAM uses and say you are in Austin where SPAM is located when you are actually in Austin TX and have no affiliation with #HormelFoods

Hormel Foods, the manufacturer of Spam is located in Austin, Minnesota, for the record.

Episode 3

Clip 1 - Lying in the back of the truck

This scene was actually new. I think it’s supposed to stand it for the Eva/Jonas lying in bed when she kicks him out and her mom comes in, but most of the ideas and dialogue within the scene were original, not borrowed. They didn’t have Meg mention that Zoya said she should break up with Marlon, nothing about Marlon saying she couldn’t live without him though he was similarly dismissive. She does it in a text later, though, and he tells her she wouldn’t last a second without him.

This camerawork does feel like Julie a lot. Especially the overheard of both Meg and Marlon lying down, that’s some total Skam couple vibes. Except early on Meg and Marlon are not touching and aren’t even on the same level, because as a couple … they’re not on the same level, lol.

Well, I considered the dance team to be sports but Meg disagrees with me, I guess. If you’re funded by the athletics department, then I’d say you’re a sports team. (It might vary from school to school but my high school definitely counted the cheerleading and dance teams as part of athletics.)

Meg: Dancing is about art. Marlon: Nah I don’t think so. GODDAMN MARLON FUCK OFFFFFF

I know a high school dance team has a different purpose in mind than like, New York City Ballet, but dance is absolutely an art form. This isn’t controversial, dumbass.

Can you please just be supportive of your girlfriend, Marlon? She found something that might make her happy and she’s socializing with other girls.

Someone in the FB comments said Meg and Marlon are cute together in a way that Eva and Jonas weren’t and like, everyone has a right to their opinion but I’m going to make a PowerPoint detailing my opposing view, which is 100 slides of NOPE.

Clip 2 - Sloooooooow mooooooooo whiiiiiiiiite guyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Meg is actively lying to her mom about being on the dance team. At least she runs into some new friends when her mom says to tell Abby hi.

KELSEY’S EYEBROWS I’M YODELING

There are some parts where Kelsey seems a little too like a sitcom character. It has more to do with the writing/directing than the actress, who’s been doing a decent job and having fun with the role. The bit where she’s like “SOME people in the group” works perfectly fine as a joke on its own - we all recognize the absurdity of her trying to obscure the person’s identity when there are five girls in the group and everyone knows who Kelsey’s got beef with. You don’t need to add on “you know … Zoya” which is just overkill.

Zoya just got them 100 pounds of free cookie dough to raise money for the team. Or… y’all could eat it … not that this is what I would do or anything.

But good job Zoya! And now Kelsey has to reconsider her position on Zoya. Free cookie dough?

He’s called Penetrator Jo??????????????

“Why is he called Penetrator Jo?” “No one knows.” OK …. I actually find that kind of funny but also … really, Julie? That’s far more obvious inside the narrative than calling a character Marlon.

Now we have what is obviously the most important scene of the season according to certain parties: William/Daniel’s introduction.

I have a confession to make. Uhhhh … taken on its own, I sort of like this version of the slow motion montage over the original.

I was never wowed by William’s intro, and this one at least has some tongue-in-cheek choreography with the football players and has Childish Gambino over it (in my version).

But at the same time I’m like really?

I think if I just watched both scenes side by side with no further context, I would prefer this one, because it’s so OTT ridiculous I would assume the director was making a joke. However, knowing the full situation, with S2’s Noorhelm and William depiction, and Julie’s intense love of the character, it does spoil the effect, because Julie really does believe that stuff about William/Daniel being painted as a villain. Like there’s definitely a humorous component to the scene but it doesn’t work as well when the director buys into the character’s hype. Same with Grace’s unimpressed eye roll and her comment about him being a cliche: on its own it’s a welcome voice for the audience, and I’m sure it’s an entertaining comment for the shippers, but knowing that it’s going to be ironic later spoils the effect.

Thinking about it, I also feel the same about the Penetrator Jo comment, maybe. On its own with no context, I’d find it funny - there’s something ridiculous not just about that nickname but by the fact that “no one knows” how he got something that should seemingly be obvious, yeah? Knowing that show ends up being on #TeamPenetrator is not as fun.

And not gonna lie, part of me will just never get Julie’s love of the William character when she has created so many more well-rounded, interesting, unique characters, and William is a well-worn trope played straight.

On that note, I see the complaints that this is like a very typical American teen drama, and on the one hand I can’t argue with that, popular football player all the girls thirst over is a pretty common trope. But also, lol … the original was just like this, the William character and the Noora/William relationship were the most CW-ish parts of the show. No matter whether you liked them or not! 

Neither William nor Daniel are really my type so I’m not hung up on stuff like whether the actor is hot enough. He’s kind of just like … a generically attractive white boy. I saw four of those at Steak ’n Shake the other night. Not trying to be mean, I get why girls would like him, and I really don’t care about anyone’s appearance on this show. His bone structure does seem above average.

Girl Jo is so cute. “He has a lot of shirtless pics.” “She has places to be, that’s like, adult stuff.”

She is getting a little passive-aggressive with using Kelsey as her cosmetic guinea pig. Kelsey is kind of a pushover, isn’t she? There’s a dynamic to explore there, where the two of them are obviously BFFs but Kelsey is letting Jo commit atrocities on her face. I wonder if that will build to anything or it’ll be a running gag. Maybe Daniel, instead of telling Kelsey she’s not pretty or good enough, will just be like your brows are NOT on fleek.

Clip 3 - Marlon and his crew are the worst

Shay: “I don’t know why we’re arguing about this, you’re freaking rich...ly, killing it in that sweater.” Marlon is selling his Adderall, I’m calling it now. Shay doesn’t want to draw attention to the fact that Marlon has some spare change accumulating from somewhere. I guess Abby could be buying from him and that’s why she was all CALL ME?

That’s not a bad change at all from the source material. Because while smoking weed can get you in trouble, selling drugs can get you into even more trouble. It would also be thematically relevant to the theme of pressure, do everything to succeed, be a winner not a loser, etc.

The way they’re sitting is so (intentionally) awkward with Megan clearly on the outside of their little group dynamic and on a lower level.

They are eating the pizza and someone presumably paid for it already, so this is a strange conversation to have, but then again I have ordered takeout plenty of times with friends where one of us paid upfront and then the rest of us paid them back or covered them. I guess Marlon could have paid for it at the door? Still kind of a weird conversation when you consider they could have been like … looking at the menu and talking about what to order and arguing about who’s gonna pay.

Marlon is SUCH an asshole. DUMP HIM. He started to make fun of her about her dance team in front of his friends. Meg gives Marlon’s crappy music her attention, he can’t support her in her dance team?

This scene made it really clear that it’s not a situation similar to Eva, where yeah, Jonas and Isak did gang up on her and could be mean to her, but she was still a part of the trio. We saw them eat together, go to movies together, have little jokes together. Eva was friends with Isak. Megan is only here for Marlon. Tyler and Shay aren’t her friends.

Some of the joking here - like Tyler saying, “Wait, Megan, you actually became a stripper? You took my advice, bro” - in another context I could see that being fine, like if Tyler was saying that to Shay, it’s just friends taking the piss out of each other, but he and Megan aren’t good enough friends for that not to have any tension or awkwardness.

Marlon being like “I’ve tried to convince her that team sports brainwash people … guess they already got to her though” is so so insensitive. Jackass! This was something that made her happy and she had to give it up FOR YOU.

I am so so glad that she called him out though, and she’s right. He’s got a limited set of talking points.

But it sucks that Shay and Tyler got in on it and called her out. Her attitude about the Kittens was clearly motivated by hurt and resentment over what she’s lost and a person who has since made her feel like shit, not her overall attitude toward sports teams. I would think they would know that much since they have to be somewhat familiar with the Megan-Abby drama. Tyler especially takes it too far when this is not a comfortable situation for Megto be in, she’s not included in anything, she’s just the girlfriend who’s there. Like I do not blame Megan at all for having some interest in Jo, because even if he’s sleazy, he’s the one who’s paying her compliments.

Clip 4 - Party invite

Julie continues with her tradition of “shooting the protagonist from behind as they walk somewhere.”

Kelsey’s eyebrows aksdfalsjnd

“I’m only waxing my mom’s chin so” Jooooooo.

Zoya telling Kelsey to chill and Kelsey immediately trying to chill … I feel like she wants to impress and go along with Zoya more than Vilde did with Sana. Kelsey seems like more of a people pleaser.

See, I heard people complaining that Zoya is too mean (and IDK, there might be some stuff to unpack there) but I felt in this scene she made her intentions pretty clear, that she was trying to help Kelsey calm down and not embarrass herself in front of the football guys, whereas Sana’s motives were probably the same but weren’t laid out like that and Vilde got pissed off at her.

I was kinda hoping that Zoya would be like “You are a hot girl” to Kelsey specifically but it’s nice she referred to the whole group as the hot girls. The only part I found excessively mean was the bit about Kelsey’s eyebrows (and I mean … she’s not wrong, but tact).

Jo is in love with Zoya.

It was sort of random that we pulled back a little and just watched Jo and Kelsey talk about her eyebrows, I mean that kind of casual conversation is fine, it was just the physical distance that was odd when so much of this series relies on closeups. We didn’t even see Meg’s reaction, not even to show Megan and Grace being like well, we’re done with this conversation and walking away.

There was an IG pic of the girls with Kelsey covering her eyebrows, which is adorable, but I’m not sure when the pic was taken because Meg is shown walking up at the start of the clip and Meg and Grace walk away at the end, and it looks like they’re in the same location. I guess Meg ran back to take a group selfie.

Clip 5 - American teen party with red Solo cups

I was wondering how they’d do the slow motion walk since I mean… they’d probably have to drive to the party, lol. And they did have them in the car! With the girls having a good time and Grace in the backseat looking awkward.

Actually I’m really glad Julie didn’t full on recreate one of the most iconic scenes of the original show, I prefer that she gave it a different spin. I don’t think this version of the scene will stick in my mind as much as the OG, but this does feel, well, American and relevant to the culture.

All the girls look great. I’m really digging Zoya’s hoops.

If anyone cares to know what I hissed at Daniel when he was checking out Kelsey.

I like how Abby seemed like she’s holding court among the Kittens.

I hate Marlon/Meg so much that even Meg/”Don’t be a cocktease” Jo is preferable. Though neither is the best option.

Part of me is like SIIIIIIIIGH at them not going to address Kelsey’s religion at all. It’s not that every Christian has to be abstinent or anything, I know Christian girls who were big on partying and had premarital sex. It’s that this is a big opportunity to shake up the story and add another dimension to the situation, and I feel like it won’t be addressed. I’d love if they at least talked about it in the next episode, if Kelsey’s trying to lose her virginity to Daniel and acquire birth control.

“I touch my friend’s boobs all the time” LISTEN UP JULIE ANDEM. Please let Jo be not straight. Please let Jo and Shay interact and possibly date. Both of those characters have some of the most personality on the show, it’d be a hit. Skam France set the precedent and made the equivalent character bi, YOU CAN DO IT.

I am overjoyed that so many people seemed to share my opinion of the world peace guy, which is Daniel who? Penetrator what? Give us more of THIS rando.

Honestly in his limited screen time, he has some decent comedic timing? He might be funny as the Magnus character.

That whole conversation was the highlight of the clip, the episode, and the series so far.

This is super random but I’m glad Meg and Grace went to the bathroom together because like … yes, that is what you do when you’re girls who are awkwardly standing around at parties. Bathroom solidarity.  And actually that’s a good setup for Grace leaving Meg alone and Jo getting to her rather than Noora ditching Eva to take a phone call. 

Marlon’s last name is Frazier for anyone curious.

“There’s another bathroom upstairs I can show you.” Smooth.

Zoya adding some food coloring into her Abby attack was an upgrade, particularly when the target’s in a white shirt. 

Jo taking off her earrings once the fight starts - she is the beeeest.

The shot of the girls climbing into the car is really cute to me, IDK.

I thought this was a fun clip but admittedly that’s 90% because Jo is a gem.

General Comments:

Some of me wonders … what if Tyler has it bad for Marlon and Shay has it for Meg? Tyler being “clingy” in the gc according to Marlon (which is just Marlon’s opinion and may not be that serious, to be sure) and Shay is noticeably nicer to Meg than Tyler is. I think.

Actually that text about Meg being added to their group chat made me cringe. They really aren’t welcoming to her. Meg has been dating Marlon since at least February - I’m pretty sure it was more like Christmas - and he’s only now adding her to the chat. Okay.

When Isak contacted Eva on Skype in episode 1, it seemed like he just wanted to chat with her. I guess maybe he wanted to sniff out if Jonas was there but he didn’t ask about it first, and he and Eva laughed about the Pepsi Max girls, and when he saw Eva was sad, he tried to give her some advice about talking to Ingrid. It was definitely a friendly conversation. When Shay did the same call, she asked where Marlon was, and after Meg said she didn’t know, Shay quickly said she had to go. It wasn’t a friendly, just-to-talk conversation. Meg tried to extend the conversation a little longer by talking about the Kittens - this makes me sad because it felt like she really needed to talk to someone, and Shay’s response isn’t that supportive or like she knows the magnitude of the situation with Megan and Abby. It makes me wonder because Eva was close enough to Isak to confide in him, and Meg will probably do that with Shay, but I don’t feel their relationship is as tight on its own terms to merit that.

I do find all the viewer comments on Meg and Marlon’s IG pics that are like “He’s cheating on you!” and “Why are you lying to her?” to be very funny and endearing.

Some of the FB comments about Zoya’s character … have some implications, like I haven’t seen anything outright Islamophobic, but there is a sense of “she’s too aggressive/too mean” and some of it is hard to judge whether it’s a fair assessment of her character thus far and how much of it is code for “she’s a mouthy black Muslim.”

It also got me thinking because all of the Noora/William combos have been white across the remakes, and IDK, I think it’d be great if the big man on campus that all the girls found attractive was a MOC, but also - can you imagine if a William was black and how differently he would be judged on his behavior, provided it was the same as in the original? The black guy heartlessly using and throwing aside the sweet virginal white girl? Or the black guy relentlessly pursuing the white girl who said she wasn’t interested? Or the black guy smashing a bottle over a guy’s head? I feel like a black William would reveal some ... enlightening viewer reaction. To put it mildly.

Jo is the most popular character by a landslide according to a poll on the FB group and that does not surprise me in the slightest. I’d be a little interested to know who was the most popular character so far in the original Skam. My guess is that opinions would be more widely spread.

Her IG posts/stories with Kelsey’s makeover and eating with the girls are really cute, btw.

I don’t really know how to judge the ratings because Facebook Watch is largely untested as a streaming platform, but there seem to be at least 1,000-2,000 new users following the show per day, maybe more (though stuff like fake/spam accounts need to be taken into consideration) and the full episodes are getting far more hits than the individual clips.

[godzillamendoza]

Leaving Behind 2017 - Relationships are haaaarrrrdddd

So much to some people’s surprise I’m sure, I’ve been with a couple girls this past year. Like real ones, not those ones that holographically project themselves over prostitutes that you can install in your ceiling. (does anyone get that joke? No one saw that movie but me, right?) Ah jeez.

Gotta learn to quit automatically deflecting with humor when something stressful comes up. Gahh! This is a healing/learning experience. 

Okay, so context is important. I know all of this is stuff from before 2017, but it leads into how this year went so its important to cover: in 2015 I had my first girlfriend, whom I shall not refer to by name. She and I dated on and off for about 5 months and it was the first real relationship I had been in. We started dating after I told her no 2 times. The third time she asked me to be her boyfriend, her friend was there and they sort of pressured me into it so I just went with it. Then I had my first kiss with a crowd of her friends standing around me, watching to make sure I followed through on the day after. The majority of our conversations were through text or skype, even though we went to the same school. She was just too busy to ever hang out with me outside of school. She was often jealous of me talking to other girls, she mocked me constantly and called all my hobbies “nerd shit” and rolled her eyes at me when I said I didn’t want to smoke weed with her. Then she told me she’d be hanging out with a guy named Patrick at her house after she met him over snapchat. I was obviously a little worried about it and she told me I was being controlling and needed to back off, so I did. Then a week later I tracked down Patrick and confronted him, asking why she was suddenly so cold and distant. He bragged to me about how good of a time they had together and how she complained about me constantly. He said the sentence “she’ll be mine by the end of the week.” Being cheated on by your first girlfriend in addition to some emotional abuse and being kept at a distance constantly... well all of it is like a perfect storm of PROBLEMS that you’ll have to deal with later. We broke up after I told her that I knew what they did, though it was like 2 weeks later because I was naive and forgiving at first. She’s dated around 5-7 people since that venture ended 2 years ago, so clearly she learned a lot from it. She also offered to go out with my again while she was dating another guy, which caused me to... well let’s just say I wrote a very long, very mean spirited message that I don’t regret.

Naturally, after all that, my self esteem was subterranean. I had a lot of image problems due to her comments on my appearance. I had severe trust issues with... well pretty much everyone. I had problems liking myself and I just needed outlets to focus on while I was lost. So I started making more videos on comic book stuff. While I was dating this girl I made a short video essay/editorial thing on my thoughts for casting Spider-Man in the Marvel cinematic universe. She was quick to dismiss it, but I felt like it was the first thing on YT that I was truly proud of and I wanted to make more. After we broke up I did that video about Spider-Man videogames you might have seen once or twice. It currently has over 400 THOUSAND views. I owe it to this girl I suppose, she made me so miserable that I accidentally became a z-list internet celebrity to take my mind off being miserable. It didn’t exactly fix my emotional issues, but it was a coping method that was better than becoming a meth addict or something.

--so on to 2017. This was the year where I started dating again. Obviously I would still have a lot of baggage after that first girl and everything that happened with her. I met a rather mousy girl in high school who I’ll refer to as... uh... how about Sandra? That’s extremely far off from her real name. Sandra. Well anyway, I met Sandra in high school and we kinda became friends. I wasn’t all that attracted to her physically. I’m still not. She’s not ugly, nor is it a shallowness thing, she’s just not really my type. I’m not the guy to just “take whatever I can get.” So it was a difficult decision when she told me how utterly heartbroken she was when she had no date to prom. I figured it would give me a good excuse to go to the prom and I would be making someone else happy, so I took her. And from that point forward she became rather infatuated with me and I made the hideous mistake of “just going with it” so I didn’t hurt her feelings. I tried my damnedest to find things to like about her as a girlfriend, but we were really a pretty bad fit. Plus, we had this sort of non-commital and strange relationship where we didn’t consider ourselves a couple, but still ended up holding hands or hanging out outside of school a lot. Sandra had never dated anyone before and I was a trainwreck because of the girl from 2015, so it was this stilted and halfhearted attempt at romance. 

She wrote me a letter once, confessing her feelings about me and the way she thought of me at night. She was too nervous to give it to me in person, and had a mutual friend deliver the note. It was full of grammatical and spelling errors, and her handwriting lacked something to be desired. I was both honored... and slightly put off by it. She was 18 years old, with her own car and a paying job, but her methods of going after this relationship reminded me of the silly things I did in 5th grade. I guess that’s when I realized that I couldn’t keep leading her on and that it wasn’t really meant to be. I was looking for something a little more serious and age appropriate, but she still couldn’t handle something like that and I didn’t really feel for her how she felt for me. So I... just couldn’t figure out what to tell her. I ended up using graduation as a means to distance myself. We were moving off to different colleges with different goals and ambitions. I felt guilt for a long time for just brushing her off without saying anything beyond “I’m not really at a good place for a relationship right now, mentally.” Which was the truth, but I felt like I could have said more. We’ll put a pin in the story of Sandra for the time being, because it has a more clear resolution later. 

Shortly before graduation, I received a piece of fan art on twitter that was truly special. It was probably one of the most accurate and detailed pictures of me anyone had ever drawn. Whoever did it clearly spent a lot of time staring at my old mug to make it happen and I was really impressed with it. I showed it to my classmates to not-so-humbly brag about my following online (come on, I had to be excited about something SOMETIMES, its not like I did it more than that one time). Then to my surprise I saw that there was a particularly pretty girl in the profile picture of the person that sent me this piece of fan art. I think my female audience is kind of small, so I was really happy to see one of them sending fan art and kind words. Plus I thought she was cute. 

I sent her a DM on twitter saying that I thought it was really cool and probably one of my favorite pieces of fan art ever, she responded and we just kind of started talking from there. The more I learned about her, the more I liked her. We had a SCARY amount of things in common. Like, favorite comics, movies, books. We shared a similar sense of humor, we had the same extremely jaded reaction to fictional violence and laughed while looking at covers of “Crossed” together. We even took the same type of antidepressant medication. I fell for her really quickly, probably in the first 15 minutes of what would be a 9 hour conversation. Of course our mutual insomnia kept us from caring about sleep and we just kept talking and sharing stories and pictures of cosplay. I felt like I had never felt before. For the sake of protecting her identity, let’s say her name is uh... Lila. Sure, some of you internet detectives might be able to find out her real name, but I ask you... please don’t harass her or ask her about any of this. Respect her privacy, respect her decisions, and respect her in general. 

So, Lila and I made an amazing match it seemed. She made me feel... like I had been found after being lost again. Part of me resigned to this notion that I’d never meet a girl who I had things in common with. Maybe I’d live my life with my interests and dreams being silly to the women I spent my time with, or worse, boring. Lila treated me like the things that I did and talked about were interesting. She thought I was cool. It helped undo a lot of self loathing just talking to her for that first 3 days. I was walking with a spring in my step at school for the final few days, I was singing in my choir class instead of just lip syncing, I was acting like I didn’t care what anyone thought of me, because at least she thought I was interesting, and that was all I needed. In a way, just meeting her was what I needed to get over a lot of pain, and I’ll always be thankful for her giving that to me. We didn’t have to be in a relationship, I just needed the validation of knowing girls like her existed. She stayed up until 4 Am with me on school nights, talking with me through text or skype helping me stay awake to finish studying for my geography test. We spent hours just talking about our lives and what we thought of the world. We shared our experiences battling depression. Eventually she told me that I made her happy when nothing else could and I said the same. In almost a week it felt like we knew each other for a life-time. So at 3 AM one night I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. The problem with that was... she lived in a different country.

 I never really considered that part until after it was too late. Long distance relationships have always seemed like a huge gamble to me, but I was willing to risk it for Lila. And for about a month, it was working REALLY well. We would watch movies together on skype, share ideas for cosplays, and just chat until the sun came up every night. She even helped me bake apology cupcakes for my mom at 5 AM after I carved a spider logo into the kitchen table on accident. I was feeling freaked out because I felt genuinely happy for the first time in two years and I was just waiting for some anvil to fall on me and everything to be ruined. But the distance and our age became a problem. We were both at the very end of high school, just about to go to college and unsure of where life would go. She mentioned that she was thinking about traveling abroad to go to college. I had a conversation about it with my mom and BOY did she take it far immediately. “Ask her to go to your college! She could move in with us! We have the room now! You could drive her to school every day and eventually get your own place and get married and have kids and blah blah blah blah...”

My mother was just excited. She’s also been going through relationship problems too in the last year, and was just living vicariously through me. My mom wanted something to be stable and long lasting and fun, but she didn’t realize that it was too early to ask Lila for these things... and I... like a complete idiot... asked Lila if she wanted to go to college with me and live in America with me. I pretty much asked her to move in with me after knowing her for 6 weeks. She still had a lot to learn about me, and vice versa. We were worlds apart and it would have been a huge step if she only lived down the street, let alone in a different country. I shouldn’t have asked, and I ESPECIALLY, shouldn’t have asked more than once. I still feel like an idiot for it to this day and it was nearly 6 months ago. Then things started getting worse, mostly due to my previous relationships bleeding into my actions. 

The girl I dated in 2015 cheated on me because I was so hesitant to be physically intimate with her. That creates a lot of doubt and shame, so I started asking Lila how she felt about that sort of thing if we were to meet in person one day. She became uncomfortable with the subject and I very awkwardly tried to steer the conversation away from it. Then a message meant for someone else accidentally got sent to her without context that SEVERELY damaged the situation. When being asked about the price of something by a friend, I sent back a number, which went to Lila and without context “... about 8.50″ looks VERY... weird? Maybe even kinda threatening if you misconstrue it the right way? I looked like the biggest creep/moron! So I tanked that 4 AM conversation pretty hard, and then listened to some very, very poor advice from a friend who said “just try to be casual with her about that stuff.” Because of my internal fears of her being bored with me if things didn’t get hot and heavy now and then, I started awkwardly making more casual references and jokes regarding sex over the following two days. It made her uncomfortable, and she kept quiet about it, so I kept doing it until I just couldn’t anymore. I had to tell her that I didn’t like it either and that I was doing it because I was worried she’d end up getting tired of a relationship where it wasn’t a factor. I held her to the same standards as the girl from 2015, and it was unfair. She wouldn’t cheat on me if I didn’t bring up intimacy constantly, and I was stupid for thinking she might. I won’t make excuses, but I will say why I did that. And I know I learned from it and won’t do that ever again. That made things a little more tense and over time, we started having other issues as well. 

Lila made an off handed reference to some passage of her diary she wrote about me in the last few days we talked. The thing she said concerned me, as it didn’t sound positive at all. I pressed her on it because I was worried it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. Eventually she broke and read it off, and it was just several pages of her listing off the things she hated about me. She disliked my dress sense and hated my clothes, she thought the way I ate food was stupid looking(???) she felt weird about dating me for my RACE, because apparently she didn’t talk to many white guys except me. She spent hours of her personal time writing about superficial things about me that she didn’t like, and thus my self image problem had returned and I didn’t wear button up shirts for 4 months. I asked her if there was anything she DID like about me, and after a long time of struggling to find something to say, she said she liked my sense of humor and that I was nice to her. Which are... kinda general reasons to like someone? Like, non-specific and sort of forced. Then over the next few weeks she started insulting me a lot more. She developed a habit of casually calling me a... derogatory term for homosexual... (not sure what twitter’s policy is on cussing and slurs, currently so I don’t want to say it) and saying hurtful things randomly. I figured it was time to accept that the honeymoon phase was over and that she didn’t like me nearly as much as she initially thought. She didn’t like me nearly as much as I liked her. Then the final straw happened. 

Being in a relationship with someone so far away can be stressful, because your ability to speak to them is entirely dependent on the use of the internet and all its various outlets. If she were to just decide one day she didn’t like using Facebook messenger anymore and delete it, I wouldn’t be able to speak with Lila through it unless I used something else. So when she casually deleted messenger one day, I just... couldn’t hear from her anymore. She never told me she was going to do it, so all of my messages to her on the first day went to no one. I decided to give her some space and assumed she just didn’t feel like talking. By day 5 I was a nervous wreck and assumed she died and had no idea where she was or what happened to her. I was losing sleep over it, my friend was checking police reports in her area, I messaged her on twitter asking if she was okay. I got no response and felt so scared. Eventually, my friend Damian messaged her on twitter myself and she responded in a few short hours, just saying she forgot to tell me about it and resumed talking to me on twitter like nothing happened. All that worry and anxiety turned to anger really quickly, because she was either trying to break up with me in an indirect way by ignoring me, or she was just being inconsiderate and actually forgot to tell me our main means of communication was going away for no specific reason. I didn’t resent her, but I was upset.

This caused me to think long and hard about the relationship and how it was doing after those short few months. We both made mistakes. I got way ahead of myself and was asking about very serious steps way too early, I let my distrust of people guide my decision to act like someone I wasn’t to keep her interest because of past experiences, and she undermined a lot of my self confidence and said some very toxic things. I wasn’t quite ready for a long distance relationship and I was still hung up on bad things from my past. She hadn’t dated anyone before and wasn’t really ready to commit, nor did she have much interest in it. We agreed that going back to being friends was better, before we started to hate each other. And of course, we talked less and less in the following weeks until not at all. We haven’t spoken in a few months now, and looking back I’m not proud of my actions or hers. I think in another life, another time, after we both did a lot of growing up, we might have made a really great team. As I said before, I’m still very thankful to have met her. I think just meeting her gave me a lot of hope and confidence that even she couldn’t really ever take away. I know now that I have a chance at meeting someone who doesn’t look at me like an alien. I know now that I can’t be distrustful and hold everyone to the same standard as people. I know now that if I were to try dating again, there are a lot of bad choices that I’d avoid (definitely wouldn’t be so damn clingy, ew). And I know now that the girl from 2015 isn’t the only girl on Earth who will be interested in me, I just have to look for another one. As for “Sandra,” I texted her midway through this last semester telling her that I felt guilty about the way things quietly drifted off, and we met up a few weeks before thanksgiving break. That night we tried one more time, going to a restaurant with no open seats and a 2 hour waiting time. She said she wasn’t hungry and we went back to her place where she had no food so I remained starving for that night. Her parents weren’t home, and we... spent the rest of the night looking at vacation photos on her phone. It was clear that the magic just wasn’t there, and I told her before I left that I appreciated her giving me the opportunity to tell her that it just wasn’t meant to be. She had no interest in the things I liked, and while I could see that she tried to like those things too, her heart wasn’t in it. So we ended things amicably like we should have months before. I was proud with how I handled it, and I felt as if though I was finally an adult when it came to my relationships. 

I don’t need another person to like me in order to validate my existence. I don’t need to have everyone in the world think I’m awesome. I don’t need to rely on someone constantly to maintain my self confidence and my image. I don’t need to date someone to avoid feeling lonely, because you can be just as lonely in a relationship as you are out of one. I don’t need to say and do things untrue to myself to keep someone interested in me, because if they lost interest when I act like myself, they aren’t worth my time. I don’t need to date someone to feel complete. I don’t need to date someone just because I don’t want to hurt their feelings by turning them down. If you’re feeling alone lately and having a hard time getting into a relationship, just remember you don’t need any of that. There’s always someone out there for you, and your interests don’t make you completely alone, even if it feels like there’s no one else in the world that shares them. Being into “nerd shit” doesn’t guarantee that you can’t find someone to love and care about, and even if someone loves the same stuff as you, it might not work out anyway and that’s perfectly fine. Just remember that the only person you need to believe in you is you and no one else can fix you but you. Try to find someone after you have all that stuff sorted out or you’ll just end up getting hurt again. 

In all reality, I don’t need a girlfriend at all, but I’d still like one because the company is nice. There’s a girl out there for me, and I’m going to avoid the mistakes I’ve made in the past, and I’m going to leave behind the baggage and tragedies that lie behind me. Who knows, maybe going into 2018, I’ll get to meet her. Let’s hope so.

[saccharineclover]

i feel empty. i’m surrounded by people i love but i feel like i’m not even here. this, this party-get-together-smoke-sesh-drink-til-you’re-dead-thing is great? but now it’s 2 am and i’m starting to feel detached from everything. i can hear the whispers and chatters of my friends conversations. dibby talking about how she’s gonna get cast out of her family if they ever knew she was drinking. shegun taking a puff of the joint that him and rile’s have been passing around. hell im surprised he’s even here... he’s been working so hard at college- i’d thought he’d skip again. but here we were.

and when i look to my right, there sits brit and his glorious self. he just so happens to be sucking some new dudes face. i think his name was like,,, keira or something i don’t know. they seem pretty out of it. i feel sluggish, like im moving in slow motion. well my eye’s at least. they lock with my friend-acquaintance-person, her name’s eva. she’s clearly high, eyes rimmed with bright red. thing’s between me and her have been weird ever since she found out i had loved shegun.

keyword. loved. that reminds me. my girl. i can feel her fingers tracing patterns on my thigh. it’s not sexual though- at least i don’t think so. i’m too high and drunk to be fucking someone. but i really wouldn’t mind if she fucked me. mhm now that’s a thought.

i chug the last of my beer before pushing myself out of her grasp and seat. swaying only slightly.

“i, i needa pee,” i say when she looks at me concerned. i probably shouldnt lie to her but what else am i supposed to say? oh im overwhelmed and feeling sad about being at the party i decided to throw? i’m not a sadist.

when i get to the bathroom i slide onto the toliet seat and put one of my knees on the seat. letting my phone lay slightly on my thigh. i scroll through tiktok, insta, and then twitter. nothing exciting. nothing new.

what is new is the ping of a text message. i’m wondering who would text me at this time, other than my girlfriend or friends. but surprisingly it’s neither. it’s fucking bokuto koutarou. i feel sadness and anger seep into my bones, it’s filling me to the brim. how fucking dare he.

taking a few minutes to calm down before i read the damn text is needed. that and because i spaced out. when i open the message i’m shocked to see, “im outside ur door... wanna go for a walk?” he says it so casually? he texts me at 2:45 am asking if me, if i simply want to walk. infuriating, pissed, upset. all words i could use to describe how that makes me feel. but instead i reply...

“kool b out in a min”

i know i’m about 12 stories high and hella drunk and i know i shouldn’t be pulling on a jacket and some shoes but when he calls i will go running. no matter what time, when, where or how far. it’s toxic. but fuck, i love him.

“fucker i’m going out, you’re all crashing here right? there’s blankets in the closet and if you’re gonna fuck please use condoms.” i say, leaning down past karma, my girlfriend, for my house keys. i don’t know if she can tell but she’s grabbing the sleeve of my hoodie before i can slip away.

“you’re going to see him again... aren’t you?” she looks up, staring me down, water sparkling in her eyes. most people would feel bad, horrible even, but in this moment i can’t bring myself to care. karma knew what she was getting herself into when i agreed to date her. i told her, she knew, and she knows. i have only ever loved one person. but that didn’t stop her, she wanted me to fuck with her, treat her like she mattered. and so i did.

call it a facade, but she was probably hoping we could fake it til we made it. that’s not how love works for me my dear.

“hey, don’t give me that look. i’ll be back around 5? maybe earlier- don’t wait up for me okay?” i say moving swiftly to my front door. i catch her nodding and mouthing a soft okay. and with that, i’m met face to face with bokuto.

he looks well, skin glowing, eyes bright. tho his multi coloured hair was down and a mess. he still looked more put together than i ever had my whole life. i look like shit, but i don’t mind. my curls matted and sporting deep and dark bags under my eyes. he could probably smell the weed and alcohol on my lips.

i didn’t care though. all i know was that him in the flesh was in front of me. bokuto would always be the sun personified to me. all smiles and happiness. i wonder what ever went wrong. the two of us used to be best friends. except one day we took different passage ways and he ended up on the right side of glory, mean while i ventured the depths of hell.

i’m pulled from my thought’s when he calls my name, for what? the 4th time. he gives me a sad smile. and i feel my heart break more. he’s the only one who hasn’t looked at me like i’ve failed in years. he looks at me like, i mean something. if only that was enough for me to want to change. oh, the places i’d go if his love extented. but unlike me, he had a boyfriend he loved.

i’d seen it with my own two eye’s. the way he gazed at his dear sweet akkashi. and there’s no way anyone in the world could doubt either boy’s love for each other, even if you only spent 5 minutes with them. but they confuse me. akkashi does even see me as a threat, though he figured out pretty quickly that i had some... feelings for his ace.

the words he whispered on that faithful night, seared into my brain- “love him all you want, but in the end, he loves me and i love him. and he will always be mine”

i’ve accepted it. but like all things i can’t just stop loving bokuto. and to be honest. i’m not even trying at this point. thought i know i should be. i should stop running at his every call. stop waiting for him to check up on me every few weeks. i should be happy being his childhood best friend. not just someone he used to know.

but here i am, swinging in the empty playgroud at 3:17 am with bokuto koutarou.

[ramajmedia]

How I Met Your Mother: 10 Hilarious Memes Only True Fans Will Understand

It has been several years since How I Met Your Mother went off the air (and off Netflix) and we still can't seem to get over it. To this day, we find ourselves "requesting the highest of fives" while dreaming for a romance like Marshall and Lily's. We are still willing to accept any challenge, and whenever we spot a yellow umbrella, only one thing comes to mind. So without further ado, here are 10 hilarious How I Met Your Mother memes that are absolutely legen- wait for it-dary. Legendary.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: Ted’s Girlfriends, Ranked

10 THE ONE TRUE CANADIAN POP STAR

Robin Scherbatsky is known for her "cool-girl" persona. She is the beer-guzzling commitment-phobe who would rather stick needles in her eyes than do anything remotely girly. Her stoic ways make it all the more hilarious when we discover her truth: that she was once a pop diva icon in Canada.

RELATED: How I Met Your Mother: 10 Best Songs Featured On The Show

Her pop star persona, better known as Robin Sparkles, always sported tutu skirts, giant bows, and pink T-shirts. This version of Robin is the polar opposite of the woman the gang knows and loves, so when they discover her secret, they are as giddy about it as we are.

9 WHAT THE SERIES SHOULD REALLY BE CALLED

Many fans were outraged by the structure of the series and how it promised one thing while delivering something totally different. This is because the series is called How I Met Your Mother, despite the fact that Ted barely even tells his children about how he met Tracy McConnell.

RELATED: MBTI Of How I Met Your Mother Characters

The story of how he met their mother is summed up in less than a season despite the series having nine seasons in total. Basically, Ted goes on and on about irrelevant stories that have nothing to do with what the series promises to reveal. Thus, it might as well be called "TED Talks" instead. If Ted were to actually give a TED talk though, we assume he'd be doing so in his famous red cowboy boots.

8 HOW TRUE HIMYM FANS FUNCTION

How I Met Your Mother is a successful sitcom for many reasons. It is extremely funny, it is filled with romance, and the characters are downright hilarious. Yet another element to the series that keeps fans coming back for more is the endless list of running gags that build up throughout the course of HIMYM.

RELATED: 10 Most Heartbreaking Moments On How I Met Your Mother

These running gags include (but are not limited to): Robin's hatred for Patrice, Ted's red boots, and "eating sandwiches" as code for smoking weed. How I Met Your Mother has some of the funniest running gags on TV and this is one of the many reasons why the series is such a hit.

7 THESE ARE THE REAL QUESTIONS, PEOPLE

Sure, one of those most burning questions we wanted to have answered on HIMYM was who Ted's mysterious wife ended up being. Was it going to be Robin? Victoria? Stella? But despite the fact that the series asked you to constantly seek the answer to who "the mother" was, what we really wanted to know was what Barney Stinson did for a living. Clearly, the man was incredibly well off, especially considering the fact that he lived in New York City where living is not exactly cheap. Fans, along with the rest of the gang were constantly trying to figure out what their mysterious friend did on a day to day basis to make so much money. How was he able to afford "suiting up" 24/7? We later found out that he worked for P.L.E.A.S.E which stands for "Provide Legal Exculpation And Sign Everything".

6 TED AND BARNEY'S TRUE DOPPELGANGERS

One of the most hilarious running gags on How I Met Your Mother is the "doppelganger" running gag. The doppelganger running gag comes in to play when each member of the series runs into their own doppelganger aka the person who looks exactly identical to them. Here in real life are two soccer players who look a little too similar to the HIMYM characters, Ted Mosby and Barney Stinson. We could easily see an episode where Barney would try to help Ted score chicks by scoring soccer goals at the world cup.

5 WHEN TED REALIZES HE ISN'T AS SMART AS HE THINKS HE IS

Ted is always extremely quick to show his pretentious side on How I Met Your Mother. If he sees a graffiti sign that uses the grammatically incorrect form of "your", he will go out of his way to point it out and fix it. If someone asks where he is from, he will gladly point out that "my parents live in Ohio, I live in the moment." Yet it looks like Ted finally gets a bit of a reality check when it comes to his inflated ego once he becomes a college professor and can't even remember how to spell the word "Professor". Is it with two "f"'s or one? At that moment, Ted's ego deflates just the tiniest bit, and he realizes that teaching isn't going to be as easy as he thought it would be.

4 TED HAS NEVER HEARD OF "TAKING IT SLOW"

We all remember that classic moment in the pilot episode of How I Met Your Mother when Ted told Robin that he was in love with her on their very first date. It went a little something like this:

Robin: I think I like your nose

Ted: I think I'm in love with you.

Classic Schmosby! Always confessing his love for women on first dates. Unfortunately, his hopeless- romantic mindset fails to dial down a notch as the series progresses and he continues to approach his love life in a Shakespearean manner that almost always clashes with the ways of modern dating. Luckily, he discovers Tracy who is just as much of a romantic as he is.

3 CLASSIC SCHMOSBY

It's safe to say that the rest of the gang is fed up with Ted and his overly romanticized ways. Ted Mosby seems to buy into the belief that life is one big fairytale with a happy ending that derives from marriage. Robin, Barney, Lily, and Marshall, on the other hand, are a bit more realistic. Even Marshall and Lily who are happily married to each other throughout the series still face challenges and hurdles in their everyday life. Ted is under the impression that finding "the one" will cure all his problems while Barney pretty much operates as Ted's polar opposite when it comes to his beliefs on the subject of love.

2 TED NEEDS TO SORT OUT HIS PRIORITIES

Ted Mosby really needs to sort out his priorities. On the one hand, he is constantly telling his children all of the "glorious tales" of how he and his buddies would "pick up chicks" at the bar in order to sleep with them, yet on the other hand, he is terrified to let his kids know that he smoked marijuana in college. Some of the stuff that Ted tells his own children is so inappropriate, you often get the idea that the writers completely forgot the whole point of the series when they wrote these scenes. (We wouldn't be surprised if they did).

1 TED MOSBY LOGIC

Ted's logic is totally skewed when it comes to how he talks to his children. He refers to all of his best friends as the aunt and uncle of his children because they are all so close and connected, yet he refers to their actual Aunt Heather as "My sister Heather". Makes total sense, Schmosby! Although Ted claims to love Heather, he certainly doesn't act like it when he refers to her as "my sister" to his kids! Perhaps all of those "sandwiches" he ate are finally starting to get to him...

NEXT: 5 Things HIMYM Does Better Than Friends (& Vice Versa)

source https://screenrant.com/himym-how-met-mother-memes-funny/