#when i was a kid i ate both of the hands of a shock trooper toy i had

[sk0rbut]

if my parents had named me sheev i’d be evil too honestly

this is just what happens when you don’t pay your workers the fact that your boss was a sith is just a lucky coincidence

[echos-newlegs]

Hey there y’all, this is my first ever post and it was a request from a friend (idk their tumblr yet, I’ll probably just share it with them on Instagram lmao.) anyways it is a multiple part, Echo x Fem!Reader and you’ve landed on the first part! I will be linking the second part below after I make it. You can message me request too, and I’ll get to them before or after I finish this, I may do some prompt lists 😏 This is post and then Pre-Citadel. Reader has a daughter from a previous relationship and I promise it’ll get more interesting. I’ve never actually wrote and posted a story of any of the clones and I feel like I don’t do Echo any justice, but enough talk here ye be.

(P.S. c/n means child’s name. My friend was very specific with this request)

Part One - Part 2

Echo sat up at the bar. A drink in hand that he was slowly milking. His mind was everywhere but there. He was thinking about the war, sleep, his brothers he’s lost, who he could have and didn’t save. It was all a nightmare and a half. He’d honestly pay for just a simple hug from someone who wasn’t his brothers. Even from Ahsoka. Someone who he knew cared about him, but wasn’t part of him. If that made any sense?

So he stepped away from the bar with a sharp sigh. Patting Fives back. Gloved hand slapping against the others armor. “I’m gunna head for a walk,” “Want me to join ya?” Fives asked in a slur. He was obviously not milking his drinks like Echo was. Causing him to smile with a chuckle, “no, I’ll be fine, you.. Keep an eye on Rex.” He teased and Fives grinned. “You got it, vod.” He spoke and spun in his chair to face the other clones.

The moment Echo stepped out the door he felt a bit better. It wasn’t as stuffy and loud out as it was back in 79’s. Starting his little stroll with a small hum. He wasn’t even sure what he was humming. Just a ramble of tunes he had heard. “Mama, look!” He heard a voice shout. A little one. “C/N! Get back here!”a woman shouted and before Echo could turn around there was someone tapping on the back of his leg. “Mister, are you a clone?” Echo turned, raising an arm and looking down to the child. Brows furrowed, a small smile rising to his face. “Hello to you too, little one, yeah, yeah I am..” he murmured and the little girl squealed. “Mama it is a clone trooper! Are you one of the boys in blue? You have to be! I see you on the holo- Mama!” She rambled, and then shouted when you pulled her from Echo. “I am so so sorry about her.” You spoke. Bags of fruit and other groceries in one hand and stuffed under your arm. Your other hand now holding your daughters hand.

Echo was amazed by how much the kid knew. Smiling softly in amusement. Though he was even more amused when you came into view. You were breath taking, really. Running up behind her and pulling her back from him. Apologizing for the incident. Though he didn’t really mind. “Oh, no need to apologize ma’am, feels nice to be recognized by someone,” he joked, c/n whining a bit. “Mama, he’s part of the five oh first, I know it, I do. I was just asking him questions.” “Well baby, you can’t go running off like that,” “but mama-“ Echo kneeled and caught the girls attention, both of you actually. “You know, good soldiers follow orders, you need to listen to your mama, she just wants you safe,” he spoke. Smiling at the kid and she stared at him in awe. You watching Echo with an intrigued expression. “Yes, mr. clone sir.” She piped and Echo giggled at that. Nudging the girls shoulder. “At ease, solder, I’m an Arc Trooper, not a Captain or Commander, names Echo.” “Echo..” she whispered, “I’m c/n, and this is my mama, and she loves the 501st, and-“ you grew a bit flustered, laughing a bit nervously. “Okay hun, that’s enough. We should probably let him be now.”

Echo stood from where he was crouched, looking you in the face for a moment. “Can I at least help you with your bags,” “y/n,” he smiled as you said your name. “Y/n, it’s the least I could do.” He spoke and you smiled a bit sheepishly. Glancing down to the bags and then back to him. “Sure,” you gave in. You couldn’t say no. His eyes pleaded with you and you lost the battle. Though it wasn’t hard to convince you when help was offered. You handed him some of the bags and he took them. You stuck with less now since he took most of the heavy things. Giving you a look when you went to tell him it was fine. That you could carry them. “Least I can do for a supporter,” he added with a smile that had you smiling black and even blushing a little.

The three of you got to the apartment you lived at. You pulling out your key as your daughter rambled, somethings incoherent. Pushing the door open, your daughter running in, and you following. Turning to motion for echo to follow with a small grin. “C’mon, Arc Trooper,” you added with a grin, snickering slightly as he stumbled a bit through the door.

Echo sat the things down, looking around the house slightly before they landed back onto you. “Would you like to stay for supper?” You asked, putting away some of the groceries. “Nah, I don’t want to intrude.” You smiled, turning as you shut the fridge. “Please? It’s the least I could do, for a helper. Plus you’d make my daughters day, you guys are her hero’s.” You added and he smiled, “Alright, alright, you got me.” He added. Though he was going to say yes even if you would have just said please. He was hungry, and something other than rations sounded like an absolute blessing. Not only that, but he wanted to get to know you more. You intrigued him, you were beautiful and kind. Yet he barely knew you and already wanted to make this a normal thing.

While you fixed up supper Echo ended up wandering off with your daughter. The five year old grabbing his hand and dragging him back into her room to show him her toys. It made you a little nervous, even if he was a clone. You knew he wouldn’t hurt her, but you rarely left anyone alone with her. She was really all you had left. Her father leaving the both of you behind shortly after she was born. So you ventured back while you let some of the meat cook. Seasonings already filling the air and your senses. Peaking into the bedroom to see Echo sitting on the floor with her.. Playing. The sight shocked you more than it did him really. Standing, watching for a moment with a small smile on your face.

Echo was using the toy ship she had, flying it around and imitating noises as your daughter did the same. Brows knitted together just the slightest bit in concentration. “Ahhhh, your ships been hit!” She exclaimed and Echo gasped. “Oh no, Crash landing, or as General Skywalker would say.” “Surprise landing!” The two exclaimed at the same time. Causing the, to break into a fit of giggles. You bringing a hand up to your mouth as you leaned against the door way. Giggling a bit yourself.

Your little laugh made Echos head turn to face the door. “Ma- er- y/n,” “is the food ready mama?” Your daughter interrupted him, and you could swear he was blushing. “It nearly is, go get washed up honey,” you added and your daughter shot up. Tapping Echos shoulder, “C’mon, we have to wash our hands before we eat, Echo.” She stated with a grin and you chuckled as the two passed you to the bathroom. Catching Echos glance and shrug. Which cause you to giggle again. Catching him smile even more before he turned away,

The two came back, your daughter on his shoulders and you were dishing out food for the three of you. “Mama look! I’m big!” She was in a fit of laughter, and he was too. You hadn’t seen her so happy in what felt like forever. “You are, aren’t you?” You cooed a bit and watched as he pulled her off and placed her into a chair. Sitting in his own. “No, mama sits there,” she spoke and you furrowed your brows. “Oh sorry,” “I’m joking,” your daughter blurted with a snicker and you sighed. “She’s full of those.” You rolled your eyes as you sat and Echo seated himself again. Smiling at you as he sat across from you. “Does she get the sense of humor from you?” He asked with a brow raised. You meeting his gaze with a bit of a smirk. “Maybe she does,” causing you both to laugh a bit.

The three of you ate, but it wasn’t without conversation. You had your fair share of questions. Asking about the hand print on his armor. Why he was on Corusant and wandering. Instead of at 79’s like you noticed most other clones were. Which he has an answer for each question. Though he did seem a bit nervous almost. Once finished you instructed your daughter to get ready for bed. Though she was hesitant, she finally did shuffle off to the bathroom to brush her teeth and then her room to get dressed. Leaving you and Echo in the kitchen by yourselves.

You collected all the dishes and placed them in the sink, deciding to do them after he left. “Let me help you,” “You’ve done enough helping today, soldier.” You told him with a grin. “Sit back down, it’s fine.” You added, and he smiled. Doing as told, “yes sir,” he added and you let out a titter. He was so formal and cute.

You sat back down across from him, and he was staring at his hands. “Thank you,” you spoke. He looked up with his brows raised. “For helping, and making my daughters world.” You spoke and he shrugged. “It’s my pleasure, y/n.” You pressed your lips together. Watching him for a moment or two. “I’d love to have you back,” you words shocked him. Watching as your cheeks tinted pink and your eyes darted down to your hands folded on the table. “I mean, if you’re ever on Corusant again, I really enjoyed your company. Don’t find a lot of nice people anymore.” People. The word was vague, meaningless to most, but the fact you didn’t call him a clone made his day. You included him as someone, not what he was. “Plus it’d make c/n’s day.” He smiled and nodded. “I’d love to, I don’t find a lot of people willing to feed, let alone hang out with clones like me.” You scoffed a bit and chuckled. “You’re kidding right?” His smile faded a bit. “No?” “Echo, you’re absolutely wonderful, and I don’t see why People wouldn’t want to hang around you. What? Just because you share the same face with a million other people? That’s ridiculous and people are obviously missing out.”

Your words weren’t much. It wouldn’t mean much to a lot, but to him it was like poetry. Without the rhyming. “Thank you,” he nearly whispered. Staring at you in awe, and you smiled back. Reaching a hand out to place on top of his. It made him jump a bit, causing you to retract your hand. “No no-“ he blurted, clearing his throat. Eyes darting around. “I mean, it’s fine, you’re fine, I just don’t get touched often.” He spoke, voice light and faint. Looking up to you with tinted cheeks. You wanted to pull him over to the couch and just hug on him. He was so sweet, so unloved by those who weren’t his brothers and you could tell. Frowning a bit and you placed your hand back onto him. Watching as his expression changed a bit. Softened even more, if that were even possible. He seemed relaxed. You barely knew him and you wanted him to be as comfortable as possible.

A few moments passed. The two of you sharing glances and unspoken words. Which was soon interrupted by Echos com link. “Echo, we’re heading back, I hope you’re not getting laid right now.” Fives spoke over, drunken giggles following after. Echos tanned face flushed red. Eyes widening and his eyes darting down. “Kriff, I better get going, thank you so much for the food.” He spoke in a near ramble and you couldn’t help but smile. A small giggle following after. “Of course, you should come see me next time you’re in Corusant.” You added, walking him to the door. Both of you smiling like idiots. “Sure thing, how could I not?” He added and you directed your gaze down at the floor. Smiling a bit more. “I’ll be expecting to see you again, then.” And those words were enough to keep Echo fighting hard during the war. The two of you exchanging good byes. Echo making his way back to 79’s. Hoping Fives didn’t just up and leave him.

———————

[thicctails]

Summer Of Whump Days 16 + 19 [Touch-Starved/Hope]

Happy Father’s Day! Have toothpick dad figuring out how to get his adike outta space prison.

Crosshair pressed his forehead against the wall of his bunk, gritting his teeth. His head was pounding, the ache radiating from the left side and seeping down through his skull and spreading into the rest of his mind. It had been a steadily building pain, starting when that damn animal had hit him with its tail. He’d dodged going to a medic, instead choosing to spend his free time trying to sleep the migraine off. So far, it hadn’t worked.

 He pulled his pillow over his head when a slight ringing started to form in his ears. The sound grew and grew and grew, until all he could hear was the unyielding, skull-piercing ringing.

 Then, silence.

 Crosshair blinked.

 It was like a huge drop of cold water had been dropped on him, shocking him back to reality. He sat up, running a hand over his face. The guilt and disbelief of his actions had him reeling for a moment. He’d almost killed his vod'ika, would have had Omega not sacrificed herself. He went a little pale at the memory of what state the girl had been in when they’d been picked up. Whatever had happened on that Jedi cruiser, it had been ugly, and he felt a ripple of burning shame rush through him when he thought about how much it must have hurt to stand in front of him like she had.

 He slid off of his bunk, not bothering to grab his helmet. He needed to go see her, make sure her burns were getting properly treated. It had been a day and a half, had anyone gone to change her bandages? Checked in on her? Fed her? Likely not, as he seemed to be the only one here who understood how important it was for her to remain alive and healthy. That was still top priority, but now it was for different reasons.

 He had to get them out of here, back to his vode and out of the Empire’s reach. Omega’s existence was proof that the Kaminoans had successfully managed to create an artificial Force-sensitive being, and the thought of them creating an army of Force-sensitive clones with inhibitor chips sent a chill down his spine.

 No. He’d find a way out of this outpost and off of the planet before they were due to make the trip back to Kamino. He’d have to find a way to get the chip out, maybe go back to Bracca? Then he’d find a way back to his batchmates and they’d disappear. Good. Yes. Great plan.

 Pausing, he stepped behind a wall as a group of troopers marched past. They had come from the direction of the prison cell. He scowled at them silently, fighting the itch to end their lives. He needed to be subtle, cunning, and stealthy, which meant he couldn’t let his temper flare up, lest he risk being discovered.

 Once the coast was clear, he slipped out from behind the wall and approached the room door. He put in the password and stepped inside once the door slid open. His eyes widened upon seeing that someone new had been put into the cell. The kid was tugging at a thick, black collar, a red light blinking rapidly. He jolted suddenly, his muscles spasming as he was electrocuted.

 “Cal!” Omega cried, reaching out to him. Her own collar began to blink rapidly, and she yelped when the same happened to her. Pillow, who was chained against the, was honking loudly, the sound sounding more like short roars now. He was the one to first notice Crosshair, and he snarled at the clone, his tail smashing against the wall. The stone cracked under the force, bits of the wall crumbling away.

 “Shh!” He hissed, putting a finger up to his lips. “Do you want to get into even more trouble?”

 The two children gasped when he spoke, their eyes widening in fear. The boy, named Cal, apparently, glared at Crosshair. He moved in front of Omega, shielding her as best he could. His collar beeped, but not enough to activate the electric shock. Omega peered at him, her large brown eyes wet with unshed tears.

 “Crosshair?” She asked, her voice sounding strained. The collar was probably pressing against her already bruised throat.

 “It’s me, ad’ika.” He said softly, kneeling down. “I’m back, at least for now.”

 Omega brightened, her face splitting into a wide grin. She shuffled forward, but the other kid remained firm. He didn’t move from his spot, and Crosshair could practically feel the anger and mistrust rolling off him in waves.

 “How do we know we can trust you?” He snapped.

 “You don’t, but you’re going to have to.” Crosshair replied. “We need to get out of here. Fast. A transport vessel will be here before the week is out, and we need to be gone before that happens.”

 “Well in case you haven’t noticed,” Cal pointed to the collar on his neck, “we’re kinda trapped here. These collars shock us every time we try and use the Force.”

 “And Pillow is stuck over there!” Omega chimed in, gesturing to where said amphibian was straining against the short chain that was keeping him trapped. “We can’t leave without him!”

 Crosshair hummed, peering at the collars. There was a small slit on each one, a lock that would need a certain key card to open. A key card that he didn’t have.

 “I’ll find a way to get those off. Until then, try to refrain from getting electrocuted.” He said, standing back up.

 A small growl sounded out, and Omega looked at her stomach in embarrassment.

 “Sorry. I haven’t eaten since…” She brought a hand to her chin. “Just over two days ago, I think? The last thing I ate was a ration bar on the ship before we got to Bracca.”

 A memory flashes through his head. He’s young, still learning how to fight, and he and his brothers have failed a test. They end up not being given rations for the day. He remembered it being especially hard on Hunter and Wrecker, who even at that age, burned more calories that the rest of them. He remembered feeling sluggish and unusually weak, his stomach growling like a wild animal as it ate away at itself. They had all felt miserable, and it had served as a good motivator to not fail next time.

 Crosshair growled, the sound reverberating in his chest. “These animals- I’ll be back in a moment. Remain here.” He spun around and stomped back out of the room.

 “We don’t have a choice!” Cal called, huffing when the door simply slid shut. The freckled boy turned to look at Omega. “Do you really trust him?”

 Omega nodded. “He’s not a bad person, he was just being made to do bad things.”

 Cal sighed and gave her a slight smile. “Okay, if you say so.”

    Crosshair returned about a half hour later, a bag slung over his shoulders. He pressed a few buttons on the control panel, locking the door before moving deeper into the room. Omega looked up from her place on the floor, gritting her teeth when as she sat forward. Cal was sat next to her, the two of them having moved over to where Pillow was. The pale creature was sleeping, forced to rest sitting up due to the chain on the wall being attached to his muzzle. Crosshair gave Omega sympathetic look, kneeling down again so that he was closer to being eye level with her and Cal.

 “Okay adike, lets get some food in you so you don’t end up looking like me.” He joked, reaching forward and unlocking their cuffs.

 He reached into the bag and produced two wrapped squares, passing a sandwich to both kids. Omega thanked him excitedly and quickly took the offered food. Cal hesitated, but in the end his hunger won out. He cautiously took the sandwich, softly uttering his thanks. Omega and Cal took a minute to rub their sore wrist while Crosshair carefully unclipped the band around Pillow’s muzzle.

 Pillow’s eyes opened, eyeing Crosshair as he tossed the metal band aside.

“I’ll need to put that back on before I leave, but I’ll try to loosen it.” He said.

 Violet orbs bore into him for a moment, flicking between him and the now ravenously eating children, before Pillow’s head swung towards him. Crosshair flinched a bit, but calmed when Pillow merely rubbed his head against Crosshair’s chest, a deep, rumbling purr sounding out. It seemed that his actions had earned him forgiveness. That would make things easier.

 While Omega finished off her sandwich, he dug into the bag and retrieved a roll of gauze, a container of warm water, a clean cloth, and a container of bacta, setting them down on the floor. He retrieved two bottles of cool water and handed them over to Cal and Omega.

 “Here, drink this. Omega, come here so that I can change your bandages.” He said, grabbing a numbing shot from the bag.

 Omega gulped down her water, cringing when Crosshair stuck her with the needle. After the numbing liquid had set in, he went about unwrapping Omega’s bandages. He sighed in relief upon spotting no signs of infection. With a gentleness that he didn’t know he still possessed, he soaked the cloth in the warm water and cleaned her wound. The skin had already started to scar, and since most of the tissue had been too damaged to regrow, the scar would be rather large. As he gently dabbed the burns, he noticed something odd. Small, circular scars covered Omega’s back, some not even fully finished scarring. They were all the same size, and they were perfectly spaced. It looked as though someone had taken a small cookie cutter to her back.

 Suddenly, he’s back in the medical ward on Kamino. A machine is whirring in his ears and the bright lights overhead are hurting his eyes. A sharp pain erupts from his left shoulder, and he turns to see a chunk of his flesh being sliced out of him. Later that night, he finds out that his vode all went through the same thing. Tech thinks that they want to find out if they’re as enhanced as they we’re designed to be. Apparently, they were, because they weren’t all euthanized within the next few days. Whatever they had been searching for, they’d only needed one sample to find it.

 There had to be dozens on Omega’s back.

 He suppressed a growing roar of rage that was bubbling up from his chest. He’d barely knew Omega, only having those brief moments with her before his chip had been intensified, yet he already knew that he’d kill for her. No child should ever have to endure something like that. He quickly applied the bacta, then re-wrapped Omega’s dressings. Once he was done, he fished another container out of the bag. Unscrewing the lid, he set it down in front of Pillow.

 “It’s food. Eat it.” He commanded.

 Pillow sniffed at the offered container, then started eating, chunks of meat being snapped up and gulped down. Omega laughed when Pillow pulled his face away and revealed that there was a piece of meat stuck on his nose. Cal reached over, plucked the chunk of meat off of the amphibian’s forehead, and tossed it up into the air. In a flash, Pillow snapped his jaws closed around it. He licked his teeth and flopped down next to Crosshair, staring up at him with his big, pleading eyes.

 “No, that’s enough for you. It was hard enough sneaking that amount in here.” Crosshair scolded.

 Pillow moved his head onto Crosshair’s knee, staring sadly at him as he sighed loudly. Crosshair sighed and reached back into the bag. He produced another sandwich and tossed it into Pillow’s open mouth. The white-scaled creature purred loudly and rubbed up against Crosshair, knocking him over onto the floor. He laid his head down on the man’s chest, ignoring Crosshair’s protests.

 “Get off me, you obese salamander!” He yelled, shoving Pillow’s head. Pillow merely snuggled down, rubbing his cheek against Crosshair’s armor.

 “Looks like he wants you to stay.” Cal piped up, taking a sip of his water.

 “Well I can’t. I need to locate the key to those collars so that we can get out of this dump.” Crosshair hissed, finally managing to wiggle out from underneath Pillow.

 “Aw, but you just got here!” Omega said. “Do you have to go right away?”

 “Unfortunately yes. Those troopers out there aren’t the most observant, but even they will notice my absence if I am gone too long.” Crosshair sighed. “Which means I need to put your restraints back on.”

 Cal and Omega groaned, but put their wrists together regardless. Crosshair snapped the cuffs back on, giving the duo an apologetic look.

 “I promise that once we’re out of here, none of you will spend another  minute in shackles.” He said, looking between Pillow, Omega, and Cal. “Now, I have to go. I need to do some stealth work and find out where the key card to your collars is.”

 “Be careful Crosshair.” Omega said, her eyes full of worry.

 He nodded and stood, grabbing the bag and heading out the door.

     It took five days for Crosshair to locate the key card, and another whole day for him to manage to steal it. Throwing his bare essentials into a bag, he slung it over his shoulder and stalked out of the room. The outpost was dark, the electricity out due to a growing storm taking out their generator. He was a predator here, prowling through the shadows, using his superior sight to navigate through the black. He passed troopers as he moved through the outpost, none detecting him over the howling wind and the sound of their own chatter.

 Just as he’s about to reach the outpost’s makeshift prison, he overhears a conversation between two troopers.

 “Is it true? Did they really make a clone that can use the Force?” One asked, leaning in close to his companion.

 “Yeah, but it’s a weird little runty one. Kaminoans must’ve kriffed up while they were making it, I guess.” The trooper sneered. “Little shit’s too cocky for its own good. Hope they put it down once they’re done experimenting on it or whatever.”

 In an instant, a flash of burning hot rage enveloped Crosshair. His hand found a vibroknife that he had stashed away in a hidden pocket. He pounced, gripping the trooper’s head and pulling it back, exposing his neck. The knife’s blade easily sliced through the man’s neck. He made sure that it was deep enough to kill but shallow enough to make it a slower death. While that wretched creature choked on his own blood, Crosshair swung the knife and plunged it through the other trooper’s visor, the sharp point piercing the man’s skull. He jerked the vibroknife free, fresh blood dripping off the blade.

 His anger cooled a bit, and he made his way to the cell door. The door was running on emergency power, and he had to sever that connection to get the doors to open. Inside, he could see the rapidly blinking lights of the two Force suppressant collars, the red glow highlighting the faces of Cal and Omega. Omega’s face was buried in Cal’s chest, the young clone quivering. A clap of thunder rang out, the sound louder than it would be on most planets. It made her squeak in fear, and she shuffled even closer.

 It was so easy to see Hunter in Omega’s place. Back when they were still cadets, his vod had hated the storms on Kamino, his sensitive hearing being battered by the roaring thunder that made itself known every other week or so. So every time there was a storm and they were in their quarters, Crosshair and his vode would take all of their blankets and pillows and they’d create a little hiding spot for Hunter. Once he had curled up in the middle of the makeshift nest, they would cover him up until there was only a small hole left for air.

 Omega had no such luxury. She had no batchmates, a fact that hurt Crosshair on a deeper level, and thus was left to exist in a state of fear. The medical centers were tucked into the middle of Kamino’s bases, so Omega had probably never heard thunder this loud before. He crossed the room quickly, dropping to his knees when he heard Omega’s quiet cries.

 “Come on, adike. It’s time for us to go.” He said, just loud enough to be heard above the fading rumbles. Pausing only to remove their restraints, he slipped tiny the key card into the small slits, ginning when the collars became slack and slid onto the floor.

 In an instant, the two kids were locked in a tight embrace. They were both quivering now, and judging by how their hands were twitching more than the rest of their bodies, he figured that they were both currently using the Force. While they comforted each other, he set about freeing Pillow from his bindings. The amphibian nuzzled him, before starting to nose at his bag.

 “Cut that out. There’s no treats for you in there.” He grumbled, pushing Pillow’s muzzle away. Darting back over to Cal and Omega, he extended a hand.

 “Neither of you will be able to see until we get to the ship, so we’ll need to hold hands. We’ll be moving fast, so try your best to keep up.” He said, grasping Omega’s hand once he saw her reach out to him. With Omega holding on to him, Cal holding on to her, and Pillow bringing up the rear, the group escaped the room, Crosshair leading them out a nearby door and into the raging storm.

 Bitter, biting wind whipped all around them, freezing cold rain drenching their clothes and causing Omega and Cal to slip more than once as they ran across the shipyard. More than once, Pillow had to keep Omega and Cal from getting tossed around by the storm while Crosshair dealt with a trooper or three. Finally, after a good half hour of sneaking and stealth killing, they made it to the ship Crosshair had chosen to steal. He ushered the kids on, wanting them out of the harsh storm. They were soaked to the bone, shivering with chattering teeth as they strapped in. Once everyone was secure, Crosshair fired up the engine, gripping the controls. The storm was so intense that there was a chance that it would mask their take off, but at the same time the fierce lightning that was building within the mass off clouds could send them plummeting down.

 Crosshair gripped the controls tighter.

 He’d get them out of this.

     Crosshair chewed on a toothpick, his eyelids drooping from exhaustion. He’d found them a good hiding place, a heavily forested planet not too many light years from Bracca. He needed to contact his squad, find a way to convince them that he could be trusted once again so that he could get this damnable chip removed. He needed to do a lot of things, but for now he was content to simply take a moment to breathe.

 Omega and Cal were asleep, dressed in uniforms that were far too big but would ultimately keep them warm and dry. The two were sleeping on the floor, a soft cushioning of bunk mattresses and blankets providing a comfortable place to sleep. Omega was half draped over a sprawling Cal, the young clone snuggling up to her friend. She’d fallen asleep easily, and the boy simply hadn’t had the heart to move and risk waking her. So there he lay, snoozing away with Omega holding onto him like her life depended on it.

 A regular person might have been confused by her clinginess, but he understood completely. When clones were very young, they slept in piles with their batchmates. It provided a sense of security, lowered their stress levels, and helped forge an important bond. If your very purpose was to fight in a war with a group of people, you’d better be someone they’d fight to keep alive.

 The Kaminoans had, at one point, tried to see if this behaviour could be stopped. They had forced a batch of clones to sleep apart from their batchmates, only allowing them to train and eat together. By the time they had reached adulthood, they had become noticeably different. They were anti-social, only called each other by their numbers, were completely out of sync in combat training and often acted aggressively. They snapped at each other and at the other clones, distancing themselves from the rest of their vode.

 They’d all died in their first battle. The Kaminoans never tried the experiment again.

 Omega had no batchmates, no vode to form a pile with. He wondered if the Kaminoans had tried to make more and Omega had been the only survivor, or if they simply hadn’t cared because she was never meant to be in a group. It didn’t really matter, he supposed, it wouldn’t change the fact that Omega had been missing out on a crucial part of growing up as a clone. However, it seemed that Omega had found someone to pile with in Cal, even if neither of them really understood what she was doing. Hopefully, it wasn’t too little too late, and she would grow up to be a well adjusted young lady.

 Omega yawned softly in her sleep, shifting as she tried to find a more comfortable position. She repositioned herself so that her head rested on Cal’s chest, throwing an arm over the boy’s torso. Cal mumbled something incomprehensible and turned onto his side, pulling Omega into a loose hug as his blanket fell onto her. Omega smiled, eagerly nestling into the new warmth.

 For the first time in years, Crosshair found himself aching for that comfort. He and Hunter had always been at the bottom of the pile, the close presence of their vode always being the one thing that could ease them into a peaceful sleep. In the pile, there were no harsh lights that signified the early start of a new day, nor the echoing roar of Kamino’s storms. There was only them and their brothers, safe and together.

 He remembered the day they’d first been made to sleep apart. The noises and smells and brightness had made sleep impossible. Their room door had a crack at the bottom that always let in a bit of light, and to his advanced eyes, that little stretch of light had seemed like a kriffing sun to him. Only the threat of being separated from his batchmates for the whole day had kept him in his bunk. Once the morning lights had come on, he’d launched himself at his closest vod, which on that morning had been Wrecker. His second-eldest brother had pulled him into a crushing hug, and he had felt the wetness of tears on his shoulder. Any other time, he would have teased the larger clone for crying, but on that morning, he’d have been a hypocrite.

 Maybe it was their enhancements, or maybe it was the fact that the other clones didn’t like them very much, but for some reason it took far longer for them to become acclimated to sleeping alone. After their first mission, they’d all started towards their own bunks, as they had been for months, when Wrecker had paused and asked if they would still be separated if they pilled together on the ship. They had all looked at each other, before instinctively turning towards Tech.

 “I’m sure it’s against the rules, but…” He’d given them a small smile, “I won’t say anything if you all won’t?”

 So they had thrown their mattresses together and had arranged a set up that resembled their old shared bed. They had grown at that point, but hadn’t quite reached adulthood, so Hunter and Crosshair could still sleep comfortably at the bottom. They’d slept better that night then they had in months. As time passed and they reached their maximum sizes, they began to sleep apart more and more. Crosshair and Tech especially had taken a liking to having some extra wiggle room, Tech for his tinkering and Crosshair because he was simply becoming more used to being apart than together. He was often far away from his vode on missions, providing them cover from a distance.

 Hunter and Wrecker seemed less excited about sleeping by themselves, and both had trouble with sleep. Wrecker filled the void with a stuffed toy, one that his batchmates had made for him out of supplies they picked up on one of their earlier missions. Hunter simply carved the walls of his bunk or cleaned his weapons, exhausting himself so that sleep would come and take him into its sweet embrace.

 He wondered if they’d even let him pile with them now.

 The thought of being rejected from such a simple yet important activity had him feeling nauseous, and he shook his head, clearing the thought from his mind. He didn’t deserve to share that closeness with them, not after all he’d done, but he couldn’t bring himself to think about it. Curling up in the pilot’s chair, he let his eyes close, now painfully aware of how exposed and cold he really felt.

[ironmandeficiency]

cody, where’s my lightsaber?

pairing: obi-wan kenobi / reader

word count: 6575

summary: you decide to introduce your dear friend to the wonders of the cannabis plant while planetside. the outcome is peak humor for your troops.

warnings: you’re smoking weed with obi-wan in this, so obviously there’s drug use.

a/n: i got high af (for the first time in a while) and decided to write something of it. i wrote like 90% of this while high and was beginning to sober up at the end. i got the title inspo from the stoner movie “dude, where’s my car?” and it made me laugh way more than it would have if i were 100% sober

disclaimer!! if you know firsthand what cannabis does from your own use of it, this isn’t anything new. if cannabis is a new concept to you, don’t take this fic’s descriptions as gospel. this was how i was taught & experienced it, but there’s a chance something may be “wrong” according to some ppl. this is NOT telling you to smoke weed if it’s illegal where you are/if you’re not of age to do so!! i’m not condoning it!! this was just something i decided to write after getting/while high.

“where exactly are we going, y/n?” obi-wan was sounding a bit impatient. you’ve been guiding him through the busy streets of coruscant for nearly twenty minutes without so much as an explanation.

“we’re almost there, obi. just have a little patience.”

“you must be mistaking me for my former padawan, i have plenty of patience.”

“could’ve fooled me, anakin- ow! don’t push me, obi!”

“that’s better.”

“you’re a heathen, you know that?”

“you’re as much of one as i, darling.”

obi-wan smirked indignantly at you as he kept walking, a hand resting on your waist protectively. he didn’t trust these streets at all, no matter how calm you were about just traipsing through them like a daisy patch. he’s seen and felt many shady and downright malicious people here and wonders what business you would have in such a place.

he was jostled slightly when you pulled him out of his thoughts and into the doors of… a caf house? was this all you wanted, to go get coffee with him? kriff, he could’ve taken you to dex’s and saved you both so much trouble (except for the suggestive looks he’d receive from dex concerning you, but he got those from a lot of people these days).

“what are we-“

“stay here until i get back. don’t let anyone else see your face or we’re both screwed. your face is too widely known to not cause trouble for us both, and my reputation here can’t save us. understand?”

obi-wan nodded his agreement but was quite perplexed. why did this place matter so much to you? he couldn’t ask you at the moment because you had disappeared with a flourish of your cloak into a back room, followed by a rodian woman who seemed to be expecting you. he didn’t want to pry and use the force to investigate because he knew you would tell him in due time. he trusted you with his life, and that trust extended to when you were at a seedy caf shop in the middle of the coruscanti slums.

you untied the small pouch of credits from your belt, being cautious to hide your lightsaber from whoever could be watching the transaction. your friend did the same with the item you were looking for, emptying a pouch from a larger pouch.

you slowly rest the credits into her palm as she hands you the smaller pouch. you opened it and brought it to your nose, inhaling the scent to ensure it was what you were expecting from her. this batch was going to be the best you’ve had in a while, you could tell just by the scent of it.

“i hope this pleases you, my friend.”

“indeed it will, torin. pleasure doing business again. may the force be with you.” with that, you returned to where obi-wan was trying his best to be inconspicuous. he was doing quite well, considering his unfamiliarity with his surroundings.

you nudge obi-wan through the force, gesturing towards the exit. he got your hint and once at your side, his hand immediately gravitated to the small of your back. it was adorable that he was so protective of you, but you’ve been coming here since you were a padawan, sneaking out of the temple and making deals in the slums for one of the greatest plants in the galaxy. there wasn’t anything you needed to be protected from here.

cannabis is highly regulated throughout the core systems to the point where what little of it was legally sold was extremely weak, thus resulting in a high demand for stronger concentrations in the black market. it’d cost most beings an arm and a leg for the quality product you buy (flesh or mechanical, no one was picky these days), but you’ve had connections to some of the best sellers for over fifteen years, and your loyalty paid off. they’d save you the best of the best because they knew you could be trusted, and that you weren’t the kind to sell them out.

you could tell that obi was a bit anxious. he didn’t know what you did when you disappeared with your rodian friend, but he had a strong suspicion that it wasn’t completely legal. “i can feel your anxiety in the force, my dear. i will explain everything once we’re back on base. in the meantime, relax. we are okay.” you sent him more reassurance through your bond and didn’t stop until you could feel his tension begin to evaporate.

he pulled you closer still, using your body as an anchor in a situation he wasn’t completely at ease in. you let him because it reminded you of your first visit to the slums you were taken on with the older padawans. you were anxious back then and still had a strong fear of the council, but with time your fellow padawans helped ease that fear into respect with the help of a routine trip to a near-hidden caf shop.

your return to base was a tad eventful. your commander biggs, marked by the violet paint of the 89th battalion, had several holopads in hand, each of them open to documents your signature was direly needed on. you sighed, bidding obi-wan farewell and returning to the duties the title of general brought you.

it was far too long until you were able to rest. after getting dinner in the mess with your men, you sent thrash off to deliver a message to commander cody, and then him to obi-wan. you avoided using your comms as much as possible during leave, they felt too professional during times where you were free to relax. there was a high chance that you didn’t even need to use your friend’s commander as a middle man because wherever cody was, there was a large chance that you’d find the general there alongside him.

that seemed to be the case when you were in your quarters, mere minutes after sending the message with your trooper. “i’m glad to see you got my message. now come in, take a seat wherever.”

“is this about our little trip today? i’ve been quite curious as to what you brought back.” you grinned at his words, excited to show him your loot.

“well then, let me show you.” you grabbed the small pouch from where it rested on your bedside table and poured some of its contents into your cupped palm, holding it towards him.

his eyes widened considerably when he processed what you were holding. “y/n, is that-“

“cannabis, my friend. yes it is. some of the best in the galaxy, as a matter of fact. came from the outer rim where there’s no limit on the strength.” this seemed to shock him and you were quick to assure him that you didn’t get the hardcore stuff. “don’t worry, it’s not mixed with anything else. i only use it to relax sometimes, and this batch is somewhat mild for my taste. i have no desire for much else.”

obi-wan wasn’t sure what to expect, but it wasn’t this. he had many questions brewing in his mind and wasted no time asking them. “why did you have me accompany you?”

“to show them you were trustworthy, in case you ever wanted to get some on your own. now you know where to find it.”

“why is your trust so valuable to them?”

“i’ve been a customer of theirs for a long time. in the beginning, i was the extra face that accompanied the older kids until they stopped going or started buying from someone else. eventually i became a solo customer and stayed loyal to them. they value and reward loyalty in their business, which is why i always get a good price.”

he took a moment to contemplate this. he was flattered to have been chosen to accompany you. one more question sprang into his head despite being unsure as to where it came from, and he spoke it with no qualms. “are you going to share?”

--------

when you had asked him whether he preferred a joint, blunt, pipe, or edible, he had a dazed look in his eye similar to when shinies see a jedi fight for the first time. you didn’t want him to feel awkward about not knowing what to do, so you decided to teach him what each method did, how long it took to take hold, etc.

as it turns out, obi-wan has never smoked cannabis in his life. 

he asked what the best thing was for a beginner, and you immediately began to roll a joint for the two of you to share. you chatted as you worked, your fingers going through the familiar motions with little thought.

your pipes had screens in them, but you didn’t want to risk obi-wan exhaling into the pipe and blowing charred chunks everywhere. edibles were a peculiar beast, since it takes longer for their effects to set in and can sometimes hit harder than a joint of the same concentration. the first time you had an edible several years ago you ate the whole thing, not knowing that the effects would be delayed compared to smoking. needless to say, you kept away from edibles for a long time after that and became finicky about them.

once the joint was made, you examined your handiwork with a smile. “this is a joint. you take the cannabis and wrap it in a special kind of paper, making sure to seal it shut so nothing falls out. then,” you searched a drawer and found your lucky lighter, flicking it on and bringing the flame to the joint resting lazily between your lips.

“you light it like so.” obi-wan watched you attentively, admiring the expert with which you took a hit off the joint, inhaling the smoke for a moment before blowing it away from you both.

“you slowly inhale from here,” you pointed to the end you didn’t light, “let the smoke stay in your lungs for a few seconds, the smoke is what gives you the feeling we’re looking for. and for future reference,” you took another hit before continuing, mildly enjoying the way obi-wan was watching your lips wrap around the joint. “never blow your smoke towards someone unless they explicitly ask you to. it’s a somewhat common practice, but i don’t enjoy it and i don’t think you would either.”

you held the joint outward to him, silently asking if he’d be comfortable with trying it right then before remembering something else he needed to know. “there’s a high chance that you’re going to cough a bit after your first couple hits. your body’s going to be unused to this, so be gentle with it. don’t expect to handle your first joint like a longtime smoker would.” you retrieved a water bottle from your small refrigerator in the kitchenette, setting it down beside him.

he took the joint from your hands, mimicking the way you held it to not look like a fool and slowly brought it to his lips. “remember, don’t let the smoke out too early or it’ll be like wasting the joint itself. since you’re new to this, try inhaling for three seconds, holding it in and counting to four before exhaling. does that make sense?”

obi-wan nodded slowly, his eyes studying the joint resting between his fingers. “if you don’t want to do this right now obi-wan, please don’t think you have to. i don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“i know you wouldn’t pressure me into doing anything, y/n. i just never thought i’d be doing this, it’s a bit of a shock to me.”

you nodded, relieved to hear that you weren’t making him uncomfortable. “that’s completely understandable. but before you do this, i want you to know that cannabis can have a subtle effect on your control of the force.” this was where your concern held the most weight. it was stressed to you a lot when you were first experimenting with cannabis as a padawan, that you wouldn’t have as firm of a grip on the force as you did when sober. you had no idea how this would make obi-wan feel or what would happen when he relaxed his grip on the force.

“there have been times where i don’t realize i’m using the force on something until it’s pointed out to me that something’s floating that normally doesn’t. don’t be alarmed, it’s okay. i’ll be here the entire time to help you.”

obi-wan took a deep breath, letting this information sink in. he seemed to be having a debate with himself last-minute, trying to choose whether this was worth temporarily losing some of his grip on the force. he came to his decision after a moment, the determination set in his jaw almost adorable because it was about cannabis of all things. his eyes flitted to yours as he brought the joint to his lips, following your directions exactly. he inhaled to the count of three and held the smoke in for a precise four seconds before blowing it out.

“you did that perfectly, my friend. now here’s the last rule of smoking cannabis with someone: it’s puff, puff, and pass. you take two hits and give it away, then it’s the other person’s turn to do the same.” his reply came through another hit that he once again held for four seconds, blowing it out with a smile.

he passed it back to you with a light cough that eventually grew a bit too much for his liking. he looked a bit frazzled as he coughed, unsure whether this was normal. you sent him waves of calm through the force as you snatched the water bottle from where it lay, opening it for him in a hurry before extending it toward him. he accepted it gratefully and was barely pacing himself while drinking it, only doing so at your request.

“this is okay, don’t worry. you’re okay, obi. everything is okay.” you placed a hand on his back to remind him of your presence, that you weren’t going to leave his side. he leaned into your touch, letting himself relax in your now outstretched arms.

you took two more hits before letting it rest in the ashtray you kept on your bedside table. obi-wan’s eyes were on the joint you let rest after putting out, wondering why you didn’t pass it back to him. “since this is your first time and we have no idea what’s going to happen, we should take it slow. this concentration is stronger than what i had started on, and the effects it had on me were intense then. i can only imagine how the next several hours for you are going to go before they actually happen, and i don’t want you to do more than you can handle.”

“oh, that makes sense. thank you for looking out for me.”

“of course, obi. now do you want to grab some snacks from the mess and come back in here for a while before it hits you completely?”

“yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

biggs was minding his own business in the mess when it happened. he was eating his dinner, talking to his vod’e, just taking advantage of being on leave like everyone else does. everything was ordinary & nothing was out of place, and he relished in that. the 212th and 89th battalions mingled among each other pleasantly like always. nothing could go wrong here.

“did you see that holo of kix tackling fives after he- hey, uh, biggs?” waxer’s voice cut off abruptly mid-sentence, eyes too busy staring at the roll levitating off his vod’s tray. “what’s wrong with your roll?”

when more brothers spotted the roll, the ones that were eating theirs quickly set them down. exclamations of shock and a large variety of curses were spun by nearly every man there, none of them having any idea what was going on or why their food suddenly started to float. soon enough, there were all different pieces of their dinner floating around the mess, some snatching their food back after watching the spectacle for a moment.

biggs knew what this meant. he knew exactly what was going on. “oh, no.”

“biggs, do you know what’s going on?”

“is biggs home in there? hello?” boil lightly knocked on his ori’vod’s temple until the hand was swatted away.

“tell us, biggs!”

“yeah, don’t leave us out of the loop!”

before biggs could answer the questions his brothers were throwing at him, his eyes found you hand-in-hand with general kenobi. he could see the grins plastered on your faces from halfway across the mess and he froze. was general kenobi high right along with you?

no, he couldn’t be… could he?

his question was answered by the food floating even higher when the two of you passed tables. he knew that when you were high, you had built up your ability to somewhat control the force through your haze. but with general kenobi (he still couldn’t believe general kenobi was high), it was quite obviously his first time under the influence. he ignored the questions as he watched the jetti like a hawk, your movements much less calculated and a lot more fluid and loose.

you were the one that noticed the state of the food first, stopping and nudging general kenobi and gesturing at the mess. you were giggling about it, and it was all you could do to keep the general standing as he began to laugh hysterically, finger pointing at a stray bantha steak a member of the 212th was chasing haphazardly.

“obi! obi, sshh! our men are watching, you gotta- pfft!” it was hard to keep your calm at one of the most composed men in the galaxy happily losing his shit. “obi-wan, stay calm! we gotta get our food without drawing too much attention!”

“but look at the food! it’s floating! they have no idea what to do about it!”

obi-wan started giggling like a child instead of full-on cackling, only doing a mildly better job at keeping the attention away from you both. this was completely his doing, no doubt. you turned on your holo and began to record the chaos erupting in the mess with the giggling jedi master leaning on you for support.

somehow you were able to get some food and leave the mess before it hit obi-wan too hard, you using the force to carry the trays in front of you both. when you left the mess, you heard a cacophony of thuds and splat’s echo into the hall. hey, at least the food wasn’t floating anymore.

you were helping obi-wan pace himself with his food because you knew that he’d throw it all back up if he ate too fast. he didn’t seem to understand why you were doing this, pouting when you would block his plate from him. it took a lot of strength to keep from laughing in his face but you held through with a face-numbing smile.

your comm beeped loudly, taking your attention briefly away from obi-wan.

“general-”

“biggs, we’re on leave. don’t use titles here.”

“sorry si- y/n. i’m also not going to ask for permission to speak freely because we’re on leave?” biggs ended this with a question, still unused to being so informal with those in authority.

“exactly! you’re learning quick, my friend. what can i do for ya?”

biggs sighed much like an exasperated parent before speaking. “did you get general kenobi high?”

you knew this was coming after the scene in the mess, there was no way to avoid it. but the way he said it, the incredulous tone your commander spoke with, it sent you into another fit of laughter. you nodded and laughed, not really processing the fact that biggs couldn’t see you nod because this wasn’t a holocall. he took your laughing as a confirmation of his suspicions and so did the brothers sitting beside him.

“hey y/n, do you think i could cut my bantha steak with my lightsaber?” obi-wan’s voice crackled through the commlink and nothing could have explained the unfamiliar looseness of his cadence to the men better than him being higher than the negotiator, which was exactly the case. “wait, could i cook a bantha steak with my lightsaber?”

you ignored the comm for a moment to answer obi-wan with a grin. “if you were patient enough when holding your ‘saber over the raw steak, maybe so. but if you cut your cooked steak with it, it’ll just char it beyond edibility and ruin a perfectly good steak.”

obi-wan paused to contemplate your answer, running through the scenarios in his head before being okay with your response.

“pardon?”

“sorry about that. obi-wan was just curious about the culinary abilities of his lightsaber, no worries.”

you could hear the laughter from the other side of the link and you were mildly curious about who was listening to your conversation. “who’s there with you, biggs?”

“waxer, boil, venom, cody, and myself. no one else.”

“y/n, am i swaying? i feel like i am but i’m not sure if it’s me or you.”

“okay, that’s good. just keep this between you guys and it’ll be fine. and no one is swaying, i promise.” you knew obi-wan would be mortified if the entirety of your battalions heard of this, but these five were loyal and wouldn’t speak of this outside of themselves.

“how’s the general taking it?” you picked cody’s voice out and you smiled at the concern he had for obi-wan. it was laced with humorous curiosity but you could tell he was a tad quite protective.

before you could answer, obi-wan chose to answer in a voice a smidge too loud. “hello, cody! i’m doing very well, but thank you for your concern!”

more snickering came from the comms, the five men enthralled with this new side of obi-wan. you had no clue why you didn’t invite the man to smoke with you earlier because high obi-wan was honestly the best source of entertainment you’ve had in a long time.

“biggs said that you two were the reason the food went awol in the mess earlier but didn’t explain why.” boil’s curious voice came through and you smiled at the reminder of what the men now dubbed the Floating Food Fiasco.

“cannabis has a tendency to weaken our control over the force. it’s normal for things to randomly float when a jedi’s under the influence because of that. like with the food, that was all obi-wan’s doing.”

“wait, i was the one moving the food?”

“yes dear, it was all you. now stop eating so fast. your stomach won’t be happy with you later if you keep on like that.”

obi-wan nodded as if he understood but didn’t slow down, prompting you to move his plate out of his reach. he humphed and leaned back, almost slumping in the chair. you did not want him throwing up on your watch. “y/n, is it normal to feel as though my bones are vibrating?”

this was the time to cut the conversation short. “well boys, it was good to talk to you but i’ve got to look after our dear general. contact me directly if either of us are needed, obi-wan’s clearly in no state to answer his comms.”

“will do, general.”

biggs ended the call, freeing your attention that was almost instantly caught by obi-wan reaching for his lightsaber. that wouldn’t turn out well at all. you quickly used the force to bring his lightsaber to your open hand, quickly connecting it to the extra loop on your belt. “return my lightsaber, y/n! i need to test your hypothesis about the steak!”

you sighed as you could feel him trying to get it back with the force but failing at his attempt, his lightsaber gently tapping against your thigh as it moved. “obi, you’re about to get hit really hard. it’s my responsibility to keep you from doing stupid things while high, and this is one of those things.”

obi-wan stood from his seat and was clearly having trouble standing on his own, if his leaning against the back of the chair was any indication. you got up and slowly guided him to your bed, laying him down gently. he seemed perturbed that he had to be guided there, mere feet from his former spot. it was hard for him to hide the slight panic upon realizing that he, in fact, could not stand on his own and you picked up on it.

“obi, i know you’re a little scared right now. this is something you’ve never felt and your body is telling you to lash out. but listen to me, everything is okay. i’m right here, obi, and i’m not leaving you. not now, not ever.”

he seemed to be soothed by your voice, so you kept talking as you helped him get a bit more comfortable. his boots were the first thing to come off, followed by his socks and the top layer of robes. you left his pants be but removed his shirt, softly telling him when to lift his arms and torso.

as you talked, you pressed a code into your comms to tell biggs to come to your quarters. since you didn’t know how long obi-wan was going to be in this panicked state or what he could do, you thought it best to have your commanders hold on to your lightsabers for now. biggs already had a loop for yours, and you knew for a fact that obi-wan dropped his ‘saber so many times that cody, the one who seems to always find it laying about, had been given one a long time ago.

it didn’t take long for biggs to arrive and take his leave, lightsabers in hand and holster as he left. you could feel his worry radiating off his force signature and you quickly chased it away, telling him that obi-wan was just crashing and that you weren’t going to leave his side. he seemed okay with this, leaving the room without another word.

obi hadn’t noticed the handoff through his resurfacing panic and you quickly got to work on reinforcing his mental shields, the only gap being where you sent him calm and peace. “why can’t i control my body? is this normal?” his voice was even quivering, a slight stutter beginning to form.

“this is normal for your first time, you’re okay. i’m right here with you, i’ll keep us safe. just take some deep breaths and focus on my voice, okay? you’re good, i’m not going anywhere.”

you were perched on the edge of the bed close to his head, your fingers carding through his peachy copper hair. whatever hair product he used was working wonders on his hair, it’s softness was unrivaled by anyone you knew. the ministrations seemed to calm him so that’s what you did, not letting yourself change the pattern as he occasionally pushed against your hand like a tooka. it was precious.

it took a little while, but obi-wan was on the edge of sleep and far more relaxed than he had been earlier. you were getting up when his hand grabbed for yours, tugging with what little energy he had. “i’ve just got to use the fresher, i'll only be a few feet away.” he huffed but let your hand go, clearly counting the seconds for you to get back.

you hurried as fast as you were capable of, finishing in record time because you knew obi-wan was still frazzled by this experience. “see? almost no time at all.” you returned to your spot and he grumbled something you didn’t completely understand. you looked at him in confusion until he spoke a little clearer. ah, he was asking you to hold him. yep, he’s a tooka in disguise.

you had no issue with this, knowing that some wanted physical affection/reassurance when their high hits them hard. you were among this group but it wasn’t a necessity for you like it was for other people. biggs had done this for you a few times, his presence so stable and comforting that it never took long for you to be asleep after an especially strong high.

parting the covers slightly, you got under them and pulled them over the jedi beside you. “see, obi? i’m not going anywhere. just relax, let yourself ride the high. i’ll be here the entire time. don’t worry, i’m here.” obi-wan wriggled himself into your arms and you wrapped them around him protectively, telling him through the force and with your words that you would keep him safe.

he seemed comforted by this thought and the feeling was increased tenfold by being so close to you, him glad to have someone to hold on to when he didn’t have complete control over his body. there were very few people he’d trust to protect him when he couldn’t do it himself, and he could fit the list on one hand; you, anakin, cody (and the entire 212th by proxy but that didn’t count right now), and more recently, ahsoka.

with thoughts of his loved ones in his head, he let himself relax in the haze and fall into a deep sleep unlike anything he’s had.

obi-wan came to and nearly panicked when he didn’t recognize his surroundings as his own quarters. not only did that shock him, but his body was… spasming? or were those just his bones vibrating? wait… bones weren’t supposed to do that.

he thrashed in the bed until his eyes barely caught the ashtray on the bedside table, and the events of the previous day nearly punched him in the face. he smoked cannabis! scratch that, he smoked cannabis with you! that somewhat explained the vibrating bones sensation and the way his consciousness felt like it was swimming through his head. these were your quarters, and he was sleeping in your bed.

the golden question was where you were.

his anxiety about being alone in your room spiked when he couldn’t reach out through the force to find you, his grip still too lax. obi-wan knew he had to leave at some point. if someone found him in your bed -and apparently shirtless- there would be many conclusions drawn, and there were some that could get you both in serious trouble with the council/senate (the line between the two was quite blurred these days).

he snapped himself out of his thoughts, resolving to get dressed and leave before anything bad could happen. sitting up was relatively easy if he did it slow enough, but standing? whole other game in itself. more than once he was leaning on various pieces of furniture while trying to dress himself. he was clearly still high, but it was nowhere near as strong as it was hours earlier. he continued to struggle (and trip over his feet more than once) with his robes and was relieved when given an excuse to sit down, his boots being the only thing reasonable to sit down and put on.

he gave the room a simple once-over and decided that it was fine how it was. your dinner trays from yesterday were gone and his lightsaber was-

oh, no.

“haar'chak!” obi-wan exclaimed. his lightsaber was lost in your room and he was barely able to support his own body weight, let alone do a frenzied deep search for his weapon! he realized that he had to find you before anyone else found him. you were the only one with him last night, and he guessed that you were also the only one that knew of his current state. and since he couldn’t find you with the force, he had to search for you the old-fashioned way: recon.

this wasn’t going to end well.

your comm beeped hours after getting obi-wan to sleep and you panicked for a moment, hoping to the force that he didn’t wake up. you tapped a code that told the other line to hold on a moment, and you slowly untangled yourself from obi-wan. stepping into the hallway, you quietly asked what the purpose of the comm was.

“general skywalker and commander tano have returned with the 501st, and the 104th have left. skywalker is asking for general kenobi and seems intent on finding him immediately. we’re in the hangar at the moment, but possibly not for long.”

you sighed because you knew something was going to go wrong. obi-wan can’t be sent to the field in the state he’s in, and he very well can’t tell the council the reason he can’t fight at the moment. before you could reply, anakin’s voice cracked through the link.

“y/n, your commander is clearly withholding information-”

“under my orders. thank you biggs, i will be there directly. in the meantime, please stay where you are.”

“yes, general.”

the link died and you rushed to the hangar, hoping that anakin wasn’t causing too much of a ruckus among your men.

he found you before you found him, the knight charging toward you with such speed that his robes were catching wind. he was extremely worried, his face taut with thinly-concealed distress.

“anakin, listen to me. you must take a moment to-”

“do not tell me what i must do! i haven’t been able to reach obi-wan through the force for hours! and then when i arrived to check on him at the last place he was known to be, your men blatantly lie to me! give me one reason why i shouldn’t worry!”

ahsoka’s distress paired with anakin’s fear/anger was nearly choking you through the force and you hoped that obi-wan was still asleep so he didn’t have to feel it. after sending safety to obi-wan and comfort to the padawan in front of you, you told them the truth.

“obi-wan smoked cannabis with me last night. that’s why his connection to the force was a bit off.”

“wait, he what?!”

“what’s cannabis?”

you and anakin both gave ahsoka an incredulous look, not believing that she didn't even know what cannabis was. then again, she hasn’t had the chance to spend much time in the temple and has spent even less time with fellow padawans that knew about the slums’ caf shop. you could let it slide. “it’s a popular recreational drug that i like to use occasionally. it doesn’t do anything bad, just relaxes you a bit. but for jedi, it can also weaken your control over the force which explains why obi-wan couldn’t contact you or receive your messages.”

“but obi-wan smoking cannabis? i don’t believe it for a second.” anakin’s tone was still bristly, which was to be expected. he was fiercely protective over his loved ones, and you didn’t need the force to tell you the intensity his emotions burned with.

your commander, unfortunately, took his words as a challenge. why he did, you had no idea. “with all due respect, general skywalker, are you calling her a liar?”

“biggs, stand down.” your commander stepped backward in shock at the harshness of your tone, his head downcast after the berating. you never used that tone with any of the men under your command and you regretted it almost immediately. you sent him an apology and he seemed to lighten up for a moment, so your attention turned to anakin.

“what would i gain from lying to you? if something bad actually happened to him, do you think that any member of the 212th would let me walk around here a free woman?”

“she has a point, master.”

“i also have footage from last night,” you raised your eyebrows toward ahsoka with a grin, thankful that her anxiety has died down. “wanna watch?”

obi-wan was sneaking around the base as well as expected. there were several close calls, and he knew that whoever was watching the security cameras would be plenty entertained. he paused for a moment, using the wall as a support before trying to use the force again, and this time it slightly worked. he was able to discern that he was going the completely wrong way if he wanted to find you. he didn’t have an exact location, but was able to get the general direction.

he was in the midst of pushing himself off the wall when he felt two more familiar signatures: anakin and ahsoka were nearby and anakin felt pissed. almost as quickly as he sensed his former padawan’s anger it dissipated into confusion, soon followed by humorous. okay, anakin was fine. it was time to get off this wall… or not.

he had pushed himself too hard through the force and collapsed onto the floor in exhaustion. obi-wan was conflicted: he could hope for no one to find him and wait until he was able to stand on his own before continuing his search; or he could hope for someone, anyone to find him, and live with the embarrassment of being so dependent and hope they didn’t take him to the medbay.

groaning when his head hits the wall, he tries one more time to get up (spoiler, he fails). he’s now regretting leaving your quarters because at least there, he had privacy when he was weak. he closed his eyes, resigned to nap where he sat but of course, footsteps pounding on the durasteel floors kept him from being able to do that. then the cannabis decided to show back up (in the good way), and the steady thrum of his bones vibrating brought a strange sense of calm back. he’d be fine if he just stayed here.

after showing anakin that yes, obi-wan was okay, you commed cody and told him to retrieve the general himself from your quarters and to bring him to the mess. when he got there and saw that obi-wan was gone, he immediately contacted glitch and scanner in the security department. they told him the direction the general went in, and he was off.

it felt like a lifetime before cody found his general slumped against the wall, a small smile on his face. cody could tell the general was breathing and all, but it just felt weird seeing him in this state.

“general! are you okay?”

“i’m, ah, quite well, thank you cody.”

“can you stand?”

“last i checked, no. and since then, my bones have decided to try and escape my body without consent, so i’m going to safely assume that i can’t.”

cody schooled his features because he was dangerously close to laughing in the general’s face at the way he stuttered through his words that still seemed to be semi-formal. “alright, i’m gonna take you to the mess. general y/l/n is looking for you.” the commander bent down and gingerly began to lift obi-wan, letting the jedi rest all of his weight on him.

“wait,” obi-wan instructed, cody going rigid on command. “what if i make the food float again?”

“we’ll cross that bridge when we get there, general. but for now, just focus on me. if you do the food thing again, i’ll be sure to record it for you.”

obi-wan seemed satisfied with this answer, then remembered the reason he left in the first place. “cody,” he mumbled, “where’s my lightsaber?”

[gospelofme]

Taking the Risk (part 1 of 2)

Wolffe x female reader

Wolffe took a seat on a crate in an supply room. It was empty except for you and him. For the last few months, you and him had grown closer than the acquaintances you’d started out as. You didn’t have a battalion of your own, but Master Plo Koon often asked you to accompany him on tough missions. You were initially intimidated by Commander Wolffe, having only ever known him with his cybernetic eye. You’d asked a couple other troopers how it happened, and doing so had resulted in several different stories. Some plausible, some wildly impossible. You’d eventually learned the actual story from Master Plo, deciding not to bring it up with Wolffe himself. You were a Jedi, but the Force couldn’t even make you ask that man about his eye. His angry stare alone when you came along on your first mission with them had convinced you to give him a wide berth.

Little by little, you had somehow started to work your way in between the crevices of his armor. He started softening a bit by calling you General in a tone that was less hostile. You could’ve sworn that the joke you made about some Jawas made him smirk, and the cough he made concealed a laugh. It was hard work but, after that, you were determined to earn his trust. You couldn’t help being attracted to him, but you knew that sort of behavior would likely push him away. By all accounts, Commander Wolffe was very by-the-book. Even more so than Commander Cody. Besides, that would go against the rules of the Order as well. You had always followed rules before, unless you wanted chaos to creep in and spread lawlessly. You just did your best to stomp on that giddy feeling you got whenever his hand brushed against yours or if he leaned over you for something.

“Pardon my reach General.” He would say.

“It’s fine Commander.” You would reply.

It started happening more frequently, making you start wondering if he was being intentional. You wouldn’t hate that, but you also didn’t want to read too much into it. You looked forward to those little whiffs of his cologne, or maybe that was his natural musk?

One day, you decided to test something. He asked your opinion on a strategy, something he would never have done when you first started coming around. You weren’t even part of this particular mission, you just happened to be at the same briefing. At 6ft tall, he had the height advantage. He lowered the datapad he was using to let you look at the plans. You moved in closer to his side, allowing your arm to touch his. He stuttered on a word for a split second, but he didn’t move away. In fact, as you continued to discuss the strategy, he leaned in closer to you.

“What are you two conspiring about so closely?” Master Plo asked, walking over to you.

“General, I was just asking the General if this strategy was sound.” Commander Wolffe’s tone was all military now.

“Indeed, should I invite her along?” Master Plo asked, extending the invitation to accompany them on the mission.

“I wish I could Master, but-“ and you felt Wolffe step away from you here.

“I have already agreed to substitute for Master Kenobi’s younglings.”

“Oh you will do wonderfully, the younglings adore you.” Master Plo said, Wolffe was now standing and waiting to be dismissed.

“Probably because I just take them on field trips and let them run around.” You shrugged with a small laugh.

“Well what is your lesson this time?”

“We’re going to look at cool bugs and plants on Naboo. So, a field trip.” You nodded, sharing a laugh with your old Master.

A month later, you were eating your lunch on the steps of the Senate building. You had a meeting later with Senator Chuchi. You hadn’t seen or heard from Commander Wolffe since that briefing and you had started to regret not saying goodbye to him. You had found yourself looking for him when you noticed Master Plo enter the Senate building when you had been dropped off, but nothing. You munched on a carrot stick from your bag and people watched. Just then, you heard boots approaching and caught a whiff of a familiar scent.

“Can I join you?” Commmander Wolffe’s voice made your heart skip a beat. You looked up and squinted against the sun.

“Of course Commander.” You said, patting the stone next to you. He sat down, setting his helmet down on his other side. He allowed his knee to touch your’s, almost experimentally. You allowed it.

“So how did that field trip go?” He asked after a couple awkward silent moments.

“Oh great, right up until a kid’s face swelled up because he ate a berry he didn’t identify first.”

“Oh!”

“Yeah, he’s fine though. The garden director had a medical droid, and I swore the class to secrecy.” You assured him, he smirked.

Three months after that, he kissed you. You had wanted to kiss him on those Senate steps but that would’ve been too forward. You decided to wait until he made that choice.

“General, may I have a word?” He had said, authority coating his tone.

“Of course Commander.” You had replied. You followed him to the lift and stepped inside after him. A cadet was hurrying to make it before the doors closed, but one glare from Wolffe stopped him short. The lift started up but after a few moments, Wolffe pressed the stop button. There was a jolt as the compartment halted suddenly.

“What did you-“ you had began, only to have Wolffe’s lips cut your words off. You were reasonably caught off guard, and just when you started to lean into him, he pulled back.

“I’m sorry General. That was, that wasn’t right. I shouldn’t have done that.” He backed up and looked very shocked with himself. His hand moved to restart the lift, motivating you to put your hand over his. He froze. You angled your head to look at him, he finally met your gaze. You took his face in your hands and pulled his lips back to yours.

That’s how all of your kissing and make out sessions went. They were prearranged in a lift. Sometimes you went in together. Sometimes you had agreed to meet each other on a certain floor. Maybe he met you on the 15th level of the ship, perhaps you met him on the 20th. It was thrilling but it also resulted in where you both were currently. The supply room on Plo’s Star Destroyer. You had asked him if it was okay to take this “thing” you both had to the next level.

“This thing is called fraternization. That’s what this is.” He said scratching his right eyebrow.

“I know. If you think we should just stop, then I understand.” You replied quietly, leaning against the wall.

“Oh I don’t want to stop. I want to take this further...but we need to both understand the consequences if we get caught.” He explained, you tried to conceal your excited smile with a serious frown. Nodding to drive home how important you understood the situation.

“What will happen to you?” He asked.

“I’m not sure. It’s certainly against the rules. It could be anything from confinement to the Temple for the rest of my days. Or I could get kicked out.” You explained, making a note to find out exactly what the punishment for you would be.

“You?”

“Court Marshall, dismissal, forfeiture of pay...which I don’t think I get. And confinement for 2 years.” Wolffe sounded like he had quoted directly from the GAR handbook. And knowing him, he probably had.

You both lapsed into silence.

“Are you willing to risk it?” You asked, dreading that you already knew the answer.

“If I’m in jail and you’re kicked out of the Order, it’s hardly a happy ending for us.” Wolffe replied, shifting on the crate to rest his elbows on his knees. He stared at the floor between his boots.

“Well, then I guess-“ you began.

“We can’t get caught.” He finished.

And thus your love affair went to the next level.

[teachingoutsidethebinary]

Let’s Get Out of Here Part 5: Hollywood Studios

Summary: Y/N takes Bucky to Hollywood Studios. Then, Bucky surprises her with a dinner request.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 2473

Read previous parts here

Bucky woke up the next morning with the energy of a kid on Christmas morning. After a full day at Animal Kingdom, you had both called it quits shortly after dinner. Bucky was pretty sure he hadn’t slept this well in months. He looked over and saw you still sleeping peacefully. After your stunt with the pillow yesterday, he decided it was the perfect time for payback.

He climbed out of bed and crept up to yours. With one swift motion, he yanked the covers off you and began yelling.

“WAKE UP Y/N!” You shrieked as he shook the bed and pulled your pillow off the bed. You tried pushing him away, but he anchored his metal arm against the boxspring.

“Bucky, I’m going to kill you!” you half laughed-half shouted. Bucky eventually stopped his assault and collapsed on the bed laughing. You shove his shoulder. “I hate you,” you gasped. Bucky got up and walked over to the bathroom. “No you don’t!” he called over his shoulder.

You both got dressed and opted for a quick breakfast at a cafe inside the hotel instead of an elaborate buffet.

“No monorail today?” Bucky asked as you walked outside of the hotel towards the buses. You shook your head as you finished off your breakfast sandwich. He scrunched his nose. “Why are we even staying in a hotel with a monorail if we never use it?” You giggled and patted his shoulder sympathetically. “Don’t worry, Bucky, I promise you’ll get more rides on the monorail.”

A short bus ride later, you reached your destination. “Hollywood Studios?” Bucky asked uncertainly as he got off the bus. You gave him a playful shove forward. “Trust me, it’s going to be awesome!”

After you scanned your MagicBands to get into the park, Bucky looked to you for direction. “Okay, great Disney guide, where are we going?” You spun him around and pointed. Palm trees framed the entrance to a huge Chinese building. Bucky admired the intricate designs on the exterior as you led him inside.

Movie posters covered the walls and big set lights hung from the ceiling. Costumes lined the hallways and Bucky actually recognized quite a few. He had always been interested in movies, but he didn’t have much time for them back in the 40s. You two watched movies together all the time at the Tower, and he had now seen all the classics. The ride’s car had long rows, and you and Bucky slid into one near the middle.

“I love this ride,” you whispered, as the lights dimmed and the car began to move. Bucky could totally see why as movie sets came to life on all sides of him. The cast member recited facts about the different movie sets and you watched Bucky’s enthralled expression. The ride stopped in the middle of a gangster-type movie set. Bucky was too busy looking around to notice the cast member get out of the cart.

All of a sudden, an old-fashioned car pulled up Bucky swiveled his head to see the cast member standing near a mobster. Fake shots fired into the air and the animatronics began to re enact a stereotypical gangster betrayal scene. The cast member disappeared and the mobster took her place.

“This is so cool,” Bucky breathed. Now that the drama was over, the ride continued to travel through old movie sets. Bucky liked the mobster as their tour guide, and he really liked listening to the facts about different sets. He hummed along to the Wizard of Oz, tapped his foot to the beat during Mary Poppins, and nearly peed his pants when the Alien monster jumped out at their cart.

All too soon the ride ended, and you both walked back into the harsh sunlight. Suddenly, screams filled the air and Bucky whirled around looking for the threat. “Did you hear that?” he implored. You nodded unconcerned. “It’s the Tower of Terror ride. See?”

You pointed to a large pink tower that vaguely resembled a hotel. Lights flashed and moved down the tower as more screams filled the air. “Are we going on that?” Bucky inquired. You turned red and looked down at your shoes. “Um, it goes to the top of the tower and then drops really fast,” you mumbled, shrugging your shoulders. “I’m not a big fan, to be honest, but I’ll go on it if you want to.” Bucky thought about it. He didn’t remember a whole lot about falling off the train back when he and Steve fought together, but he distinctly remembered the feeling of falling. In fact, that feeling often woke him up from a nightmare. He didn’t have the desire to experience that again while he was awake.

“I’m sure there’s plenty of other things to do, right?” he asked. You shot him a grateful smile and nodded enthusiastically. You grabbed his hand and pulled him to the left. “Come on!” you exclaimed. “It’s time for a roller coaster!” Bucky kept your pace and his heart beat with excitement. If this was going to be anything like the Everest ride, he was going to love it.

You led Bucky to a large guitar sticking out of the ground. He was confused. “Um, Y/N, are you sure we’re in the right place?” he asked, looking around. “I don’t see the roller coaster tracks anywhere.” You rolled your eyes and pulled him over to the line anyway. “Well, my friend, that’s because this particular coaster is inside.”

You walked into the building attached to the guitar and were bathed in a soft purple light. Rock music boomed through the speakers as you wound your way to the roller coaster area. Bucky stepped up to the fence separating him and the coaster cart and watched it launch off. It looked fast. Bucky liked fast. He was jumpy with excitement as he impatiently waited for your turn to get on the ride.

After you were strapped in, Bucky tapped his foot ready to go. He barely paid attention to the sign above the track entrance that talked about a traffic jam. A cracking voice counted down, and then you were off.

Rock ‘n’ Roller Coaster was immensely faster than Everest. Bucky’s head was forced back against the headrest as the ride careened through dark tunnels. He could barely see anything in front of him. He let out an excited whoop as he felt his whole world go upside down. You screamed next to him and shouted along with the music playing. The coaster went right through the middle of the iconic Hollywood sign and blasted past highway billboards. Bucky gripped his seat harness tighter as the cart turned in a tight corkscrew. The ride teased him by slowing down then immediately picking up speed, zipping through twists and turns.

The invisible singer crooned, “Going down…” and Bucky felt his stomach sink as the ride dropped down a steep hill. Being in the dark heightened the ride’s experience, and you were both disappointed when it was over. This time, Bucky insisted on paying for the picture the ride took as it launched off. Bucky’s expression was one of shock while your mouth was open in a half-scream.

You took a break from thrill rides to show Bucky the different interactive shows the park had to offer. You cheered along with Indiana Jones as you watched how the various movie stunts were created for the movies. Bucky smiled proudly as you both watched young Star Wars fans get trained to be Jedis by the different actors. You insisted on watching the Storm Troopers march, even though they were “the bad guys”, as Bucky called them. After you made Bucky sit through the Frozen sing-along, he put his foot down and demanded a lunch break.

“Oh come, on it was only a 20 minute show! It wasn’t that bad. You just need to let it go,” you sang as you walked up to 50’s Prime Time Cafe. He just shook his head and pretended to ignore you.

Walking into the restaurant was like stepping back in time. Chintzy wallpaper, rounded TVs and 50’s era knick-knacks covered the cramped wall space. A waiter came up decked out in checkered attire and led you to a small table in the back. After sternly reminding you to eat your vegetables, he left you to look at the menus.

“The food is meant to be like TV dinners,” you explained, noticing Bucky’s puzzled expression over the bizarre food options. He decided to get the chicken and mashed potatoes while you ordered a vegetable lasagna. The food was surprisingly delicious and Bucky ate almost everything.

“Aren’t you going to eat your vegetables first?” you teased when Bucky said he wanted a milkshake. He firmly shook his head and you couldn’t help but laugh. He had no idea what was coming…

The waiter came back and you both ordered chocolate milk shakes. He shook his head after Bucky ordered. “I’m sorry, but you need to finish your vegetables first, young man.” Bucky stared at him, then at you, and back at him again. “What?” he asked incredulously. The waiter clicked his tongue and repeated, “Only kids who finish their vegetables get dessert. I’ll come back in a few minutes.” He walked away and left Bucky dumbfounded and you doubled over laughing.

“Come on Bucky,” you wheezed. “Eat your veggies!” Bucky couldn’t believe it. Only a sadistic person would deny someone a chocolate milkshake. He was 100 years old, dammit! If he didn’t want to eat his vegetables, he wasn’t going to.

The waiter came back with two milkshakes but only put yours down on the table. He gave Bucky a disappointed sigh when he saw the vegetables still on his plate. “Looks like someone isn’t getting their shake,” he said. You sipped yours innocently and groaned in pleasure at the taste. It was official, Bucky was going to kill you. He grabbed his fork and jabbed it into the pile of greens on his plate. He quickly stuffed them into his mouth and forced a smile at the waiter.

“There we go!” the waiter congratulated. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He left Bucky’s milkshake and walked away. As soon as the waiter was out of sight, Bucky spit the contents of his mouth into his napkin. You choked on your milkshake as you laughed.

“I’m a damn super soldier,” he muttered, sipping his cool shake. “No one tells me to eat vegetables.” You shook your head. “You’re such a child,” you replied.

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t.”

Bucky sucked down more of his delicious shake. “No, I don’t,” he conceded.

You spent the next few hours wandering around the park. You asked another tourist to take a picture of you and Bucky standing together under the big wizard hat. Then, you competed for against each other during the Toy Story Mania ride. You were both excellent sharpshooters and racked up nearly perfect scores.

You waited in line to get a picture with Woody and Buzz from Toy Story. Bucky really loved the “give me a hand” line from the first movie. Before T’Challa had created his permanent arm, he used to throw his temporary prosthetic metal arm at Steve whenever he asked Bucky to give him a hand. Steve blamed you for MONTHS for putting that idea in Bucky’s head. So, of course, when it came time to take the picture, he and Buzz both pretended to detach their arms. It was the first time Bucky showed his arm in public, and you couldn’t have been happier. For once, he seemed completely comfortable with himself.

“I’ve been making all the decisions this trip. What do you want to do tonight?” you asked as you and Bucky walked back to the bus. Bucky tilted his head thoughtfully as he considered your question.

“Can we eat by the water?” he finally asked. You stopped and looked at him, surprised by his question. He looked at you nervously, waiting for your response.

“Yeah, Buck,” you said, softly, “we can eat by the water.” You paused and looked around the parking lot. “But we need a different bus.”

The sun was beginning to sink in the sky as you walked across the boardwalk. After taking the bus to Magic Kingdom, Bucky finally got his monorail ride to the beach resort. You suggest a few restaurants, but when Bucky saw the small pizza shop with outdoor seating, he declared it to be the perfect spot for dinner.

“This pizza is amazing!” you exclaimed. You gave Bucky a thumbs up. “Excellent idea, Bucky.” Bucky chomped on his slice, chasing the cheese that stubbornly refused to come off.

“What made you want to eat by the water?” you asked. Bucky shrugged. “I don’t know. I watched people running next to the water by the hotel yesterday. It just seemed neat.”

“You know, I’ve been coming here for years, and I don’t think I’ve ever done this,” you said.

“See? There’s a reason you brought me along,” Bucky teased. You playfully kicked him under the table. You finished off your pizza and stood up.

“I’m going to get some saltwater taffy. Do you want to come?” Bucky looked around the boardwalk.

“Actually,” he said, “I think I’m going to hang out here for a bit.”

“No problem,” you replied. “I’ll bring you back a few flavors.” You waved and walked over to a small candy shop. Bucky watched you disappear and turned so he could see the water. He stood up, threw out his trash, and started walking.

Bucky stopped at the barrier that separated the edge of the dock from the water. Leaning against it, he took a deep breath and let his whole body relax. The warm breeze tickled his skin and he shivered involuntarily. The sun had almost completely set by this point, and the twinkle of the lights from the boardwalk reflected off the water’s glassy surface. Despite the bustle of activity behind him, the moment was so serene. All of his worries were gone, all of his past was forgotten, and in this moment, James Buchanan Barnes was at peace.

“Careful, someone might push you over,” you chuckled, coming up next to him. You set your bag of taffy down on the ground, and placed your arms on top of the barrier. Bucky wrapped his arm around you and pulled you close.

“Thank you,” he whispered, “for all of this.” You rubbed his back and stared out at the water with him.

“I don’t say this enough,” you started, “but you’re my best friend, and I’m really glad you came with me.” He looked down to see you smiling up at him. He chastely kissed the top of your head.

“Yeah, me too.”

[weightlossfitness2]

The Real Reason You Should Fast for the Holidays

“It is easier to act yourself into a new way of thinking than it is to think yourself into a new way of acting.”

– Millard Fuller

  Fasting is all the fashion proper now. Depending on who you hearken to it’s both an over-hyped waste of time or the fountain of youth, able to reworking your physique and activating latent spidey-senses. Those within the pro-fasting camp cite a myriad of advantages—weight reduction, elevated insulin sensitivity, development of stem cells, illness prevention, and world peace.

    As a lot as I’d wish to provide the definitive fasting interpretation, the perfect I can supply is that it might need well being advantages. And whereas I can’t let you know with authority that fasting will do X or Y, I can attest to how invaluable fasting has been in my very own private growth. In this age of mass consumption, willingly doing the other is transformative.

  Fasting modifications your relationship with meals. This has been my very own expertise in addition to the recurring opinion of the chums, kin, and colleagues I’ve talked to over time. But what does it imply to have your relationship with meals change?

  It isn’t like anybody is altering their relationship standing to: It’s Complicated-with Food. What is the connection with meals within the first place? The finest method to clarify that is with my very own expertise.

  The Diary Of Hungry Kid

For most of my life, I used to be praised for my urge for food. I appreciated practically each meals and I had a voracious urge for food. This was pleasing to my mother and father, who appreciated that I wasn’t a choosy eater like my older brother, and to most grownup male figures.

  Anytime I’d go to associates or kin I’d be lauded for the spectacular quantity of meals I may eat. This turned some extent of pleasure that went hand in hand with my different main supply of significance—pure power.

  When I obtained to highschool and have become dedicated to getting stronger for athletics, I used to be offered the assumption that each one I needed to do was carry exhausting and “eat everything that isn’t nailed down.” Eating extra turned a testomony to my dedication and I had no motive to imagine there was any drawback with this easy worldview. Blessed with a speedy metabolism, I broke high-school lifting information whereas sustaining pace and athleticism.

  After sports activities, I channeled my want for competitors and significance into muscle-building. If I wasn’t going to be often called Shane the soccer participant, I’d be Shane the strongest trying dude within the room.

  This led me to a number of supersets, mirror-staring, protein shakes, and meals. I dedicated to consuming each three hours and would develop anxious for my subsequent feeding by the two-hour mark. I purchased into all of the get-swole adages, ensuring that I entered the gymnasium with meals in my system and that I ate a big, carb-heavy meal inside 30-minutes of leaving.

  I turned satisfied that if I had been to go greater than 5 – 6 waking hours with out meals my blood sugar would crash and I’d be bodily incapacitated. A way of panic crept in across the four-hour mark and I’d develop into an plain jerk. These patterns took form close to the time of my challenges with OCD and it’s clear upon reflection that I used to be utilizing consuming as an try to pacify my anxiousness.

    As I started my grownup life, I constructed clear consuming habits however continued to eat a ton. I started exercising twice per day so I may eat extra. I turned obsessive about my have to refill. Anywhere I went, I’d have a bag of snacks on me to forestall a meltdown. To my reminiscence, I made it by way of the whole first 26 years of my life with out lacking a meal.

  Then, a while within the again half of my 20’s, I heard sufficient about intermittent fasting that I thought-about making an attempt it. I used to be married now, much less involved about trying just like the strongest man within the room and changing into rather more involved about enhancing myself.

  I’d begun meditating and, regardless of my CSCS-Joe Kenn background, I grew fascinated by Pavel, Max Shank, the kettlebell, and the MovNat world. I learn the books Tribe and Natural Born Heroes. As a former historical past main, these resonated with me and instantly the way in which I noticed humanity and the human physique started to shift.

  We are adaptable beasts. The causes of mass psychological and bodily dysfunction stemmed from falling away from our pure dwelling patterns. It was now not regular to maneuver naturally, work for the tribe, eat actual meals, expose ourselves to the weather, or expertise prolonged bouts of starvation. By shutting myself off from these experiences I used to be reinforcing my very own fragility whereas shutting myself off from private development.

  By this level, I used to be about 215 kilos of largely lean muscle, and I used to be nonetheless consuming the next menu every day:

  Breakfast – massive omelet and fruit

Snack – too many combined nuts

Lunch – three or 4 items of meat (sure, I had an issue), combined greens, an apple

Post-Workout Snack

Dinner

A sporadic snack earlier than mattress – fruit, a scoop of pure peanut butter, and many others.

  The Insights Born of Deprivation

I set my first 16-hour quick for a busy Wednesday morning, figuring that if it grew insufferable I’d haven’t any possibility however to intestine by way of it. I completed dinner at 5:30 pm on Tuesday and didn’t eat till 9:30 am the following day.

  To my shock, it was not that tough. The bodily shutdown I’d predicted by no means got here. In truth, I felt good proper as much as the time I started consuming. All without delay, that perception that I needed to pacify each starvation pang or got here crumbling down. Hunger didn’t simply enhance steadily till I used to be rolling on the ground in agony. Hunger got here and went, oscillating up and down with none obvious trigger. The entire factor simply amazed me.

  I instantly started working these fasts right into a weekly construction with 16-17 hour fasts each Saturday and Sunday and a much bigger 19 hour quick each Wednesday. When I obtained children, I needed to have a household breakfast on the weekends so I removed the weekend fasts however saved fasting each Wednesday.

  Every at times I stretch this to 24 hours. Whether the fasts create superpowers or not is admittedly not the purpose. The actual energy of those fasts is how they’ve modified my relationship with meals and the way in which I reply to starvation.

  Shortly after that first quick, I removed all snacking. Not rigidly so. If my spouse needs popcorn whereas we watch a film, we’ve got popcorn. But for probably the most half, I don’t eat something however three meals per day, two if I’m intermittent fasting. It appears apparent to me now, that that is a lot.

  I shifted my exercises to the morning and I’ve discovered that I want to exercise in a fasted state. So now, on a typical day, I end dinner by 6 pm, I get up early to put in writing, exercise round 7 am, after which eat round eight:30 am.

  Without making an attempt to I fell right into a day by day construction the place nearly on daily basis incorporates a 14-15 hour break between meals. I’ve additionally reduce down the quantity of meat that I eat every day, significantly. Without having ever apprehensive about weight, I’m now anyplace between 195 and 200 kilos, a lot sturdy and with higher vitality than ever.

  My spouse has additionally match fasts into her schedule on and off for the previous few years. After a break she began once more just lately, and her remark appears to summarize the advantages of fasting finest: “It’s good for me because it changes my relationship with food. I feel less need to snack. Like, I’m good. I don’t need to eat every time I think I’m getting hungry.”

  Courtesy of Ted Naiman, MD, h/t PD Morgan

  That’s it. Sometimes we’re bored and meals looks like a great way to fill the area. Sometimes we’re really thirsty. Particularly in a world programmed for consumption, including slightly extra boundary to our consumption isn’t a foul follow. And that’s the true motive to quick every so often—as a result of you’re a human and never feeling able to going with out meals for a bit marks a drastic departure from fundamental human capabilities.

  Fasting For The Holidays

  “A man is rich in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to let alone.”

Henry David Thoreau

  So a lot of the health world exists to counteract overconsumption. Consumerism is fueled by a system the place we’re at all times reminded of what we’re lacking after which pointed to one thing that’s presupposed to fill that void.

  Food and the engineering of cravings is an apparent instance. Yet, issues are hardly ever the answer to our issues. The change we’re in search of doesn’t come from including the issues we predict we want. In truth, it’s simply the other.

  We are happier once we are much less depending on exterior circumstances being good. We are happier once we want much less. That is why the rich, Stoic thinker, Seneca, recommended a month-to-month follow of self-denial. As he frames it, simply as troopers prepare throughout occasions of peace and prosperity, we should always prepare ourselves amid occasions of abundance. Well, the abundance is right here and it isn’t going anyplace.

  We’ve at all times recognized we wanted to coach. We shall be happier if we’re lively and wholesome, however this solely occurs once we flex our muscle groups and problem our our bodies on a constant foundation. In the identical means, we will construction different challenges to carry us in the direction of gradual development.

  At IHD, our Pillar Experience Calendars, are a structured methodology of pulling your self in the direction of experiences like fasting that develop your capacity to thrive by way of a problem. Each month calls you to a bunch lesson and a problem that can develop willpower and instill wholesome values. You’ll be doing these alongside a neighborhood that may share the knowledge of their very own expertise and helps one another in more healthy dwelling. This appears particularly essential in the course of the holidays.

  I like the cheer and custom of December but it surely additionally appears to be an exaggeration of some cultural patterns which might be already uncontrolled. Thus, I assumed it was the proper month to stretch myself by doubling my previous document for time with out meals.

  This month I’m going to go for 48 hours with solely water. I wouldn’t begin right here should you don’t have a lot expertise, however I do encourage you to contemplate an intermittent quick this December—possibly that’s simply skipping breakfast in the future.

  It is an expertise frequent to humankind and one that may enrich the remainder of your holidays. After all, the pleasures of life are at all times a lot sweeter after a little bit of wrestle.

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