#when i was checking the timing of things i didn’t realize that joe’s appendix burst LITERALLY the day the article

[cementcornfield]

I can't tell if jamarr exaggerates his stories to an extreme amount or if joe justhas to constantly tell him to chill haha. but based on tee confirming that jamarr does buy joe clothes ocassionally and he did buy him a chain - im going to say joe just likes privacy lol

ALWAYS THRILLED TO BE ASKED ABOUT UNRELIABLE NARRATOR JA’MARR!!!

more under the cut because literally i could talk about this all day and i don’t need to subject anyone to that. 

Honestly I think it’s a combination of both? Ja’Marr exaggerates, says one thing then immediately another contradicting thing, doesn’t seem to have much of a filter, however you want to categorize it. Which I think is such a funny contrast to Joe - who is (almost) always very careful about how he expresses himself and how he wants to be portrayed. 

The “Ja’Marr Buys Joe Clothes Except No He Doesn’t Except Wait He Definitely Does” saga is probably my favorite thing in the world because what on earth is ANYONE talking about in this situation. Like, first Ja’Marr claims in the GQ interview:

"Joe literally won’t buy his own clothes. He always asks me to shop for him and drop it off at the house.” 

Which is almost definitely an exaggeration. I am sure Joe buys plenty of his own clothes (although loving the idea of Ja’Marr literally filling Joe’s closet with things he thinks he’ll like). 

And then, bringing it up completely unprompted in an interview a week later he says that actually that was “kinda” a lie, and that he hasn’t bought Joe anything but dinner - although now he’ll “have to [buy joe clothes] since that’s out now”. like ?????? First of all just because you “kinda lied” about buying Joe clothes does not mean that you now have to actually buy him clothes? And why did you lie about it in the first place? How badly do you want to buy this man clothes??? 🤨🤨🤨

So we spent the rest of the season completely confused about this story but just kind of accepting that Ja’Marr just says shit sometimes, who knows… and THEN in a groundbreaking (to me) interview with Tee, we learn that actually Ja’Marr has in fact bought Joe clothes: 

“Chase definitely gets Joe right. I’ve seen him buy clothes for Joe multiple times.” 

MULTIPLE TIMES??? and Tee has seen it for himself?? Which at this point means that Ja’Marr has now potentially lied about lying about buying Joe clothes?? For what purpose??? 

I have imagined and talked with beloved mutuals about what could be going on in this situation, presented here with varying levels of realism and hilarity: 

Ja’Marr has never bought Joe clothes and all the receivers are in on a big joke where they’re claiming that Ja’Marr buys Joe clothes just to fuck with him. Because it’s funny and why not.

Ja’Marr hadn’t bought Joe clothes before the interview, but had been planning on doing it and was so excited by the idea that he got ahead of himself and told GQ he was already doing it. And then “since it was out there” he had an excuse to start buying Joe clothes, with Tee as a witness. 

Finally back to the point of your ask (so sorry for all my rambling) and probably the most likely scenario - Ja’Marr tends to exaggerate and Joe tends to value his privacy. 

What I imagine is this, Ja’Marr has probably bought Joe clothes a few times. We already know that he’s bought him grills and he mentioned in a few interviews last season that he had bought Joe some pants. And probably a few more instances we don’t have details on. The man likes fashion and he likes Joe and it seems like he has a gift giving love language! He probably got excited and exaggerated a bit in the GQ interview because again, I’m sure Joe does not “always” ask Ja’Marr to shop for him lmao. And I wonder if the exaggeration is the part that Joe took exception to (if he even did! Joe’s never said anything about any of this! all we have is Ja’Marr’s word which we can NOT trust) - Joe likely doesn’t want the whole world thinking Ja’Marr buys ALL his clothes, he likes fashion too and I’m sure puts a lot of work into those game day outfits, even if Ja’Marr does help out sometimes. Plus he really doesn’t like sharing details about his relationships, even one as public as his friendship with Ja’Marr. (All he says is that he’s one of his best friends and they hang out all the time, Ja’Marr is the one giving details about UFC moves and going to Vegas together and keeping his stuff at his place etc etc). 

Joe likely gave Ja’Marr shit for how he phrased it and honestly sharing it with the world at all. Plus!!! I am always thinking about the timing of the article, coming out right when Joe’s appendix burst. I bet Ja’Marr was worried about his friend, felt bad about sharing some exaggerated details of their relationship, and simply decided to take ALL of it back. Because again, he really seems to only operate in extremes. So to make Joe feel better, instead of just clarifying his quote, he just decided to say ‘nope, sorry, that was a lie, never bought that man clothes in my life 😊' while Tee was probably at his locker listening to the interview like 🤨???

Anyway. that’s WAY TOO MANY words to answer your ask but please know I so appreciated getting it. Any excuse to ramble about these two as you can see!! 

[theartofdreaming1]

Rush Hour III

Rating: T

Pairing: WestAllen

Summary: Iris decides to visit Barry at the hospital... Part 3 of my meet-cute AU where Iris and Barry quite literally ‘bump’ into each other on the subway. Previous chapters can be found here: Part 1 and Part 2.

The next day, Iris was able to get her hands on her dad's car. She wanted to check out the women's shelter over at Keystone to write a piece on the place (it would also come in handy for another plan she had for later that day). Joe had assured her that it was no problem at all – his newly assigned partner Eddie Thawne could pick him up for work.

The journalist spent the morning talking with the people running the shelter. She learned about the services and programs they offered (as well as services they would like to offer but couldn't due to underfunding), the challenges and struggles that came with running the place and even got a chance to interview a few residents.  

Around noon, Iris left the shelter, after saying good-bye to its staff and residents. The journalist grabbed some lunch on the way, then drove to CCPN to write her story.

Still motivated by her previous meeting, it didn't take long for Iris to finish her first draft. She then managed to persuade her mentor Mason Bridge to read over it (whose grouchy exterior she had began to wear down slowly, but surely; especially since she had found out about his fondness for pastries).

Mason appeared to be quite impressed with Iris's article (not that he told her that forthrightly, but Iris liked to think that she knew Mason well enough now to interpret his approving nod and lack of criticism correctly). Beaming (though not too brightly while Mason was still around), Iris got back to work to incorporate the few pointers her mentor had given her and finished the story. Handing in this article felt really good. This is was exactly why Iris wanted to get into journalism in the first place: so she could give a voice to those who needed to be heard. With a spring in her step, Iris made her way to her dad's car to take on the other item on today's agenda and headed for Central City Memorial.

At the hospital, Iris went up the reception desk to ask for Barry's room number. The kind receptionist gave Iris the number and pointed out that she was lucky to still catch “Mr. Allen”, as he was to be discharged today.  Iris thanked the lady for the information and went on to search for the room (only getting lost once).

When Iris finally found room 4.56, she took a deep breath before hesitantly knocking on the room's door.

A very familiar voice sounded from the other side of the door: “Come in!”

Iris entered the room carefully, a bashful smile on her face.

“Hey,” she said shyly.

“Iris...” Barry said softly, looking at her with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe she was actually there. He was currently resting on top of the covers of the hospital bed, fully dressed in his usual jeans and plaid shirt. His hair was slightly messier than usual and he looked a bit paler, too, but aside from that he seemed to be okay.

“I mean, hi,” Barry added clumsily, automatically straightening up just a little, only to slightly wince when he did, “I didn't expect you to come for a visit – not that I mind of course,” the CSI was quick to add, “it's nice that you're here.”

Iris's smile grew wider. It was really crazy how much she had missed Barry's sweet awkwardness after just one day.

“I heard about your appendicitis from my dad,” she said, feeling the need to explain her surprise visit, (conveniently leaving out the part where she actually had to ask her dad to find out about that tidbit of information in the first place,) “so I just wanted to check in with you. How are you?”

“Much better than yesterday,” Barry assured her, “though it still hurts a little, of course. But the appendix didn't burst and they removed it laparoscopically, so I should be fine in 1-3 weeks.”

“Good,” Iris said, relieved, “good.”

They both smiled bashfully at each other, a strange silence falling upon them.

Their quiet was interrupted by a quick, short rap sounding from the door, before it was swiftly opened and a man in a white coat entered, who Iris assumed had to be Barry's doctor-

“Barry, I'm sorry but I'm afraid I can't drive you- oh, I didn't realize you had a visitor,” the man stopped abruptly, mustering Iris curiously.

To Iris's surprise, Barry flushed bright red. The CSI cleared his throat anxiously, rubbing his neck in a nervous gesture:

“Um, Dad, this is Iris – Iris this is my dad.”

Oh.

Now Iris definitely understood the reason behind that vibrant blush.

“Nice to meet you Mr. – um,” Iris's eyes darted to the name tag on the lab coat, and she quickly corrected herself, “Dr. Allen.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” Barry's dad replied kindly, eyeing Iris curiously.

“So you are the famous Iris?”

“Um,” was all Iris could come up with, her eyes darting over to Barry, who managed to turn an even darker shade of red Iris hadn't thought possible.

“I might have mentioned how we've bumped into each other and become subway buddies,” Barry explained in what he seemed to believe to be an nonchalant tone.

“Right,” Dr. Allen affirmed earnestly, although the crinkles around his eyes seemed to betray his seriousness.

“Anyway, “ the doctor continued, turning to Barry “I just came in to tell you that I can't take you home, son – Dr. Young called in sick and I have to take over her shift, sorry.”

“It's alright, Dad, I'll find another way to get home-”

“I could drive you home if you'd like,” Iris offered nervously.

“Oh.” Was the first response Barry came up with, his face lightening up considerably, before his cheeks reddened anew, probably from being aware of his company.

“That would be great, I mean, as long as it's not too inconvenient for you... You don't have to, of course, I'm sure I could ask Cisco to pick me up if you rather not...-”

“Barry, it's okay – I was the one to offer you a ride in the first place, remember?” Iris cut him off with a laugh; she had really missed Barry's nervous and endless rambles.

“Besides, we still have to make up for yesterday's subway's ride you missed out on, don't we, 'subway buddy'?” The words had just left her mouth, when Iris couldn't help but think of the other thing the two of them had missed out on yesterday – the very thing that might change their status of being just that: subway buddies... She fought off a blush of her own.

“That's true,” Barry replied good-humoredly, blessedly unaware of Iris's struggle.

Dr. Allen, who had been watching the young adults with an amused expression on his face, had come to the conclusion that everything was settled and his presence was no longer needed: “Well, now that I know you're in good hands, I'll get back to work... Nice meeting you, Iris,” he said, flashing her a kind smile (which just bore such a resemblance to his son's that Iris couldn't help but return it, despite the fact that she was very busy not dying from awkwardness right now.)

Barry's dad was almost out of the door when he addressed his son once more: “Oh and don't forget to call your mom when you're home, slugger.” And with that, the doctor went back to work, disappearing in the many labyrinthine hallways of the hospital.

Iris couldn't help but look at Barry with a quizzical eyebrow, a grin tugging at the corner of her mouth: “Slugger?”

The young man nervously picked at a loose thread of his shirt, avoiding eye contact: “It's an old nickname... Why, can't believe that I got into my fair share of fights as a kid?”

“Oh no, I'm sure you were a regular rowdy; being president of the Pokémon club or something like that,” Iris teased.

“I wasn't in a Pokémon club,” Barry protested in fake indignation.

“It was Dragon Ball Z.”

Iris let out a loud chortle.

They spent the drive to Barry's place in their usual comfortable closeness, full of banter and the swapping of anecdotes (this time specifically about their respective appendectomies – Iris's appendix had burst when she was 16 while she'd been at school; an ambulance had to pick her up and taken her to the hospital).

“After that spectacular exit, I got so many stuffed animals, 'get-well-soon' cards and boxes of chocolate...” Iris concluded her narration enthusiastically, making Barry smile at her unabashed chocolate obsession.

“Well, I'm gonna be looking forward to that,” he said teasingly, before carrying out his role as navigator and adding: “Turn the next one right and we're there.”

Iris followed his instructions and came to a halt in front of Barry's place.

“Oh, you won't have to wait too long for that,” Iris replied cryptically, putting the car into park.

Barry gave her a questioning look.

Grinning, Iris reached behind her seat and produced a brightly colored gift bag.

“As you can see, I put some chocolate in there and some of the CDs and movies I'd told you about... so you won't be too bored without me,” Iris added teasingly.

“This is amazing, Iris,” Barry said, accepting the gift bag with a soft smile. For a quick moment, Iris saw some other expression wash over his face, but before she could identify it, it was gone again, instead replaced with a look of nervous determination.

“I don't know if this will be enough to substitute for your company till I'll return to work though...” Barry suddenly appeared to be very intrigued with his hands that were still holding on to the gift bag, fingers twiddling with the straps of it, “Maybe we could meet up some time this week to talk or watch one of these movies together or something like that – only if you want to, of course!”

Iris watched Barry rattle off his suggestion with impressive speed, his pretty green eyes nervously flitting between her face and his hands.

“You mean... like a date?” she asked tentatively, trying to make sense of Barry's fidgety behavior.

She watched Barry still fiddle with the gift bag's strap, drawing in a deep breath, before he finally looked up and admitted shyly: “Um, yeah... but if you don't want to, I totally...”

He was interrupted by Iris's  giggles.

“...understand?” Barry trailed off, looking adorably confused.

“I'm sorry for laughing,” Iris apologized hastily, still chuckling, “I would love to watch a movie with you – as in a date,” she was quick to add in order to assure Barry, whose facial expression changed from completely flabbergasted to utterly relieved and happy, “it's just – literally just yesterday I had decided to ask you out and when you weren't on the train, I couldn't help but worry that your absence had been some sort of sign... kinda misread that one, huh?”

“Kinda,” Barry agreed, now laughing himself – a move he regretted immediately, because heartily laughing after an appendectomy was not the smartest thing he could have done.

“Ouch, sorry,” Iris apologized empathetically, watching Barry trying to mask a wince of pain.

“It's okay, really,” he reassured her, smiling brightly at her as soon as the quick pang had subsided.

Maybe it was the relief of finally knowing that he liked her back, or maybe it was just the way he looked at her like she was the greatest thing he'd ever seen – but all of a sudden, Iris felt a certain boldness she hadn't felt before.

“Maybe I should kiss it better,” she found herself saying, leaning towards Barry. She could feel his breath on her cheeks.

“Mhm,” was his breathy reply, before they both leaned in and kissed.

Something cozily warm and simultaneously positively electric washed over Iris's whole body; the kiss didn't last long, but it had felt just so right, Iris couldn't believe that it had taken her and Barry three stinkin' weeks to finally make it happen.

Iris could hear Barry breathing heavily and the look in his eyes was enough for her to know that he felt the same way.

“You know what, I think this will speed up my recovery considerably,” Barry said in a low voice, making her laugh.

“Oh well – allow me to nurse you back to health,” Iris quipped, before pulling Barry into another kiss.

Fin.