#where he's just like 'why did i act like that. especially because i'm fucking miserable now'

[haleigh-sloth]

I'm sorry for the vent but I had to get this off my chest.

One of the many things that are annoying me about the people complaining about "so-called critics" is that they're either hero stans, dudebros, shippers (esp B*D* shippers) or Bakugo stans. And the latter genuinely annoy me the most. Like yeah so sorry that your fav was saved through the efforts of pro heroes TWICE and even got an awe-inspiring comeback and got to Save his childhood hero™. Yeah you ofc don't care about the story and think we're just being bitter over nothing because AT LEAST YOUR FAV DID NOT MEET A TRAGIC AND MISERABLE END!!! The hero who we thought would die saving you was instead revealed to be doing fine! See he's even growing his limbs back! Ofc you think your fav did not murder a villain (who mind you was pleading for Afo to give back Tomura) because *gasp* my boi can do no wrong!! And even if he were killed so what? Kurogiri's dead anyway! No point in saving a corpse! Instead let's focus on how Deku never ever acknowledges Bakugo for dying twice for him (OH HOW DARE HE!!!)

I do think deku and bakugo might have a talk about this next chapter. Hopefully maybe.

It's insulting how they seem to think we're viewing this story from the perspective of "Western lens" which is utterly baffling and stupid?? Because not everyone is western and our criticism is from a story telling perspective (hello?? themes? narratives? they do exist ya know). We're not someone to disrespect Japanese culture because I guarantee you we're not like that. Like honestly if this story wasn't so insistent on the whole "saving the villains" then we wouldn't be upset. If the manga didn't have Deku say "OFA is a power meant for saving" then we wouldn't have been so hopeful for months (like at least I would've known not to expect anything happy).

Oof....nail on the head.

Also. Let's be clear. When people try to divide the fandom by saying "western" and "eastern", what they usually, typically mean is AMERICAN. Maybe Europeans are lumped in with "western" also (because most of them they're not eastern culture), but honestly the commentary I see is mostly catered toward Americans.

Which I'm not gonna tell people to not make fun of Americans because lmao. Fair.

But acting like Japan is this enigma of a country for having conservative-like values regarding family units and societal expectations and that nobody outside of it, especially on the western half of the hemisphere, can possibly relate to it is just stupid. Would like to remind that other cultures that are vastly different from the US and share a lot of similarities with eastern culture are on the western half of the globe, idiots.

Not gonna dwell on the details of east and west. This isn't a "east" vs "west" issue. Yes there are people who do not take cultural contexts into consideration, either through simply not being aware or not bothering to research/hear what the contexts might mean. I personally do try to do my best to read what might be normal for Japanese people in the situations portrayed in the manga so I'm not wondering wtf is going on or why.

Disliking this ending has nothing to do with disrespecting Japanese culture. Todorokis for example: sorry but abuse is abuse. Hating the ending the Todoroki siblings were portrayed having is completely fair. Doesn't matter where you're from. Where I feel people need to start understanding why Hori might do something differently, or just shut the fuck up otherwise, is how he handled Rei in regards to her relationship with Endeavor. And the kids toward Endeavor. But saying "damn, that finale is fucking depressing, none of them look happy, there was no emotional release or anything, just damn" is not saying "fuck Japanese culture!" Like lmao.

There were plenty of people explaining that MHA is commenting on aspects of Japanese culture. Explaining how. Also, MHA is not the only manga that does shit like that. I also don't think saying "Wow these character arcs that were strongly hinted at going one way falling flat on their faces and going straight to hell is really shitty writing choices" is saying anything in regards to Japanese culture.

Also insisting that anyone who wanted the villains to be saved is disrespecting Japanese culture or opinions or whatever....I would like to ask where the fuck they think these tropes come from. Naruto says hi. Among others. We're not pulling these ideas out of thin air. They exist, WITHIN THIS MEDIUM, already. And MHA heavily resembles Naruto as is. So yeah. Idk, I'm not really reading anybody's bitch fits about the critics because I don't care. If they're happy then good for them. I'm not, and I'm not gonna pretend to be. I'm not trying to convince anybody to be mad with me. I'm really trying to make my peace with the manga and tell myself it's fiction, I can draw an ending I want later when I have the energy and motivation. I'll learn to live with it. If anybody has an issue with that then, well, they can argue with a wall.

[arcplaysgames]

Seen here: Me IRL jumping because I was so concerned about Morgana that I fucking didn't notice Akechi was here until the little card icon appeared. BEIGE ALERT.

Akechi bro this is like not a good time but also i'm worried about missing flags for the extra content so I guess we can hang. (Morgana, I know you are going through a crisis rn but pls forgive me okay.)

man i haven't taken a bath in probably about 15 years, are they that good? my friend sent bath salts from japan, i should just try them. people are super into baths in this game.

oh because apparently they are some key to heart-to-hearts I guess???

wow that is a Lot

I was joking to cardiganism that something about Akechi makes me want to study him under a microscope. They said probably because out of the whole cast, he's the most opaque. Which, yep, honestly.

If the seed of Akechi's justice is wanting revenge for the mistreatment of his mother by his absentee father, that's... potentially high-minded?

Honestly a later moment from Akechi is way more interesting so I'll hold until then.

jfc are you my Vriska, what is this? what's the term? The pathologically competitive?

Is that true?

You know what's weirdly rare in video games? Liars. I feel like when it comes to quests for truth and understanding in games, the usual force pushing back is unrevealed information, not someone giving you false information. And in the games where outright lies are used, they tend to be used sparingly, as a second act twist that sets up the rest of the plot.

I think it's less common to have to deal with a character that just lies to you continuously without any real indication that you are being told a lie. Akechi itches at me because he's not, like, the Citadel Council keeping big secrets from the galactic community. He's a guy who is lying and I don't have any context for what the truth is.

Anyway, I guess it's time for the class trip.

... Mishima, I'm not going to nonconsensually change the heart of someone who cheats at video games.

WHY DOES NO ONE IN THIS GAME TAKE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BEING A PHANTOM THIEF SERIOUSLY? This is why I have always hated the Phansite and I especially hate the "rankings."

Also, I know this is shocking news, but I love Futaba. The realism of this is great.

Also hey I'm up to 9 for Yoshida, and is that the big reveal for every Confidant? That they totally knew you were a Thief the whole time? That'd be super funny. Bc I think Yoshida knows too.

DO NOT PULL A FUCKING NAOTO SHIROGANE, AKECHI, I SWEAR TO GOD. I WILL LEAVE YOUR ASS TO GET EATEN BY FOG.

I wanna reach through the screen and shake Reverie. Morgana is seriously on the verge of a breakdown, isn't comfortable reaching out for help, and you're LEAVING HIM FOR A TRIP TO HAWAII.

WHICH: SPOILER. SUPER SUCKS EXCEPT FOR YUSUKE ONCE AGAIN, SHOCKER

/puts head on desk and yells

they really did work to make joker the MOST pretty huh

god i thought the beach trip was boring but the hawaii trip actively sucks

it's just Ryuji wanting to get laid so bad he does splash damage of suck to everyone around him...

(what the fuck ryuji, chill the fuck out, this shit made me fucking uncomfortable)

Mishima literally refusing to talk about anything except the Phansite's Alexa Traffic ranking

And Yusuke being the fucking load-bearing column of this entire game I swear to god. He is the only reason I did not just press fast-forward and skip this ENTIRE section. It was miserable.

Atlus. Atlus. Atlus. Stop fucking punishing me for not having a romance locked in these games. This whole segment was more excruciating than Yosuke Hanamura's Joker Mode. I'm dead serious. It was less homophobic but something felt more homophobic to me specifically. I think because my was of reacting were much more locked down. Whatever.

God, send me back to Japan so I can check on the people I care about. (Ann, Yusuke, not you, I'll never be mad at you, I love you both. If I got to spend this trip having mai-tais with you, it would have been a blast.)

OH SIDEBAR:

motherfucker where have you been, I have been trying to talk to you since school started and you just blow me off! rude!

I don't think Maruki is a good therapist but I think he's decent with people. He notices Futaba and Morgana talking and uses it as a springboard for conversation. Or, tries anyway. Futaba is still working on being observed by other humans. We know how that is.

Then, Futaba sees that Maruki..... has a book on cognitive psience. And Sojiro immediately tries to throw him out but Futaba is like "chillax" and actually talks to him.

Maruki notices the past-tense and tells Futaba that her mother sounds cool and would be proud of her.

He's a nice guy.

However. He's working with Reverie to talk through basically the necessity of pain and trauma in people's lives, has mentioned wishing that pain was curable through more easily actionable means, and is toting a book on cognitive psience.

there is not enough side-eye in the world.

Hey Maruki, can I see your phone real quick, do you have a weird malware app on there?

Out of images, whup.

[thattimdrakeguy]

Frankly if you asked me, all of that unnecessary misdirection and twists that left poor Tim at the ‘make him angsty and edgier’ block for later writers to force upon him was the result of the whole darker and edgier train that permeated not just the Batbooks but the whole industry throughout the decade he was in.

Basically short, in my honest opinion, Tim Drake was the perfect character at the absolutely wrong time.

The 90s edgier nonsense (as foreshadowed by the marvelous competition’s hefty promotion of Venom, Cable and other like minded antiheroes, Early Image having a foundation built on that) made possible with the Batmania (since he’s naturally the perfect candidate for darker and edgier due to both his gothic aesthetic and his insane popularity) unfortunately gave the writers of that era and the 2000s the impression that since it’s Gotham, things in universe are just miserable and sucky

And since Tim lives in Gotham, despite meant to be the counter to that misery that permeates the city he helps defend, it was only a matter of time before that wrong impression got to him too

It’s why to this day, my preferred Tim Drake is that original Fanboy we saw in A Lonely Place of Dying since in the end, that’s what he’s meant to be, beginner or not and why I am still reluctant to get anything Dixon related on both him and Nightwing since those runs are built on that train of thought that says ‘misery in setting and edgier characters means compelling and mature storytelling, especially in Gotham’

I know, long winded, I just needed to vent. You may ignore this if you wish to

Bro, I just asked #cats what a raw potato tasted like, I don't feel like ignoring much.

And, I wouldn't say Tim was in the wrong time. He has his great successes in the 90s. The main reason he's talked about past people's obsession with one story in Red Robin, that has slowly lost popularity 'cause of people realizing it wasn't the best Tim--is 'cause of the 90s.

There was plenty of people who were sick of the big overexaggerated 90s crap even if it did infest Tim a bit when they'd draw him way buffer than he was clearly meant to be.

It's all just a matter of writers with the ability to do better either not advancing to the right places in comics, or throwing their talents down the toilet to be there.

It's all about good writing. That's it, really, that's the big secret.

Why is Dick a massive joke of a character now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why did Batman look like a total maniac more like usual for a while? 'Cause the writing got bad.

Why is Damian totally unrecognizable a lot of the time on nearly every single level for over a decade now(Though I have heard some aspects like art have been getting better, or so I've seen thankfully, but I'm still not trusting that all the way because now this fucking fucking hell)? 'Cause the work got bad.

Why is Jason just a fan fic edgy woobie fuck a lot of the time now? 'Cause the writing got bad.

How did Steph go from edgy, determined, "vigilante vixen", who was morally kinda questionable at times go to acting like a 12-year-old sometimes? 'Cause the writing got bad.

No matter what in the end. It's all down to the writing, and also art.

There's always been good movies in every decade no matter the taste, because people with true talent and knowledge, and know-how where out there to make so happen.

Comics being a dwindling medium that's how a down-turn in quality going on for a long time? It's just not a business worth getting into anymore. Passion or not, people just aren't good writers. And that can happen in any era.

But back to the main point, Tim was at his most popular in the 90s in an era you wouldn't think he'd fit into with all the Rob Liefeld stuff. Like he got an 80-page-giant in the late 90s over some characters you think would actually get one because he was so naturally popular.

But what made him work then isn't dated. It's timeless. They just haven't had good enough writers to make him work, and it sucks, but it's how it is.

The reason Tim really got changed so much isn't down to tastes in an era. It's down to the taste of a few people in specific positions. Things that made Tim work were still working wonders in other places.

[nvzblgrrl]

7 9 10 13 19 transformers AND doctor who

7) what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them? Transformers - Starscream. Like, yes, he can be kind of annoying in canon sometimes but it all levels out with the amount of times he gets shot down for it, but the fandom? It has been years since I've seen Starscream described as 'Scrimscrim' and just thinking that name makes me homicidal. Doctor Who - oh, this is hard, but I'm going to say Rose Tyler. Like, she's fine as a companion - flawed, obviously, but that's the interesting part and I don't blacklist her name because of that. I blacklist her name and block people because they're incapable of letting her exist as a flawed character - she is the most prototypically stereotypically straight girl I have seen on Doctor Who, yet people are trying to sell her as a 'bi queen'? She tried to get the Doctor to let a potato roll dick weasel on the TARDIS based on like, the worst first impression ever because apparently this

is hot enough to overlook utterly rancid vibes. If that ain't straight people magic at work, I don't know what is.

9) worst part of canon Transformers - actually a difficult question, since I tend to cleave close to what I like (Beast Era) and don't wander to far from it, but... I think the Marvel comics run of Transformers comics. Like some of the stuff is just fucking miserable to look at and perceive, stop it. The only good bit is that Spider-Man gets to meet and befriend a Transformer and then ends the story thinking his new bud is dead. Doctor Who - Torchwood. No hesitation. I hate all the characters, especially the Time Agents, because half of the 'jokes' from that corner seem to be rooted in biphobia, to the point where I ran into a line from one of them where 'bestiality' was apparently something omnisexuals could and would line up to, apropos of nothing I personally did.

10) worst part of fanon

Transformers - Scrimscrim. I rest my case. Doctor Who - DoctorRose unpwobwomatic twu wuv. It is inescapable, people won't leave it alone OR tag for it half the time, and I would like to just exist without someone trying to shove Perfect Holy Rose Tyler down my throat. I hate it extra much when it leaches out from 'Canon' DoctorRose to fuck with every other era or other 'competing' female companions get shit on or railroaded into being mindless supporters. Like either Stop It or learn to Tag Your Shit Right.

11) worst blorboficiation Transformers - Tailgate. IDW1 fans have just. Made a guy that's inescapable and annoying even tho his default 'true' self is a character I'm neutral to. Like fuck off with that ukefication, nobody wants that. Doctor Who - the Doctor. Literally, the Doctor is so interesting when you take them - any of them! - as a hot mess who means well but overcorrects from the 'previous' model's flaws to make new ones. Like 9 and 10 are fun because they're joint studies in PTSD - the guy who knows he has it and shares it in Shit Ways but at least does and the guy who shoves it down and denies even as he's hemorraging all over the table and making everyone else suffer because he's too desperate for one (bad) familiarity to stay in his life. And then people go with the 'sainted god Doctor thing' that popped up every so often in the later RTD 1.0 era and it's like 'why. why you like this, this is boring.' Also 8 ends up with a worse version of this where it literally hamstrung his potential in stories from day one because reducing him down to amnesia, romance, and whump was just easier I guess.

12) you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

Transformers - uh, I guess Transformers Cybertron, mostly of who I was at the time; a kid who didn't follow stories well but liked how some characters looked. My taste with Override at least held up but Beast Wars was infinitely more engaging, both when I was a kid + rewatching as an adult. Doctor Who - a lot of Eighth Doctor stuff, I'll be honest. Like I said, there's a tendency to being reductive and making 8 a passive participant in his own life (which would at least be interesting if it was explored as the Doctor doing that on purpose) and some poor fan behavior regarding the War Doctor just makes it... very difficult to engage with that corner. And yet here I am, liking 8 a lot despite all that.

[t-lostinworlds]

no, your likes aren't public, but i saw that you did like it when i was going to block everyone who interacted with that rude post and i was just shocked that you, someone i genuinely respected, did. you can rail against me being a 'bad' friend all you want, but i don't get why you can't see how that MIGHT be a little upsetting especially when you've made friendships over this fandom?

you can say the post wasn't that serious all you want, but genuinely, this about the same person who just a few months ago said that he was dealing with anxiety over seeing the mean crap people say about him online, and that WAS mean crap. there's just SO many better ways to express that you want him to work rather than calling him 'fucking pathetic'. like that is just wild to me and two faced as hell when no one here had any problem with him taking some time off when he was recently at home.

it just truly sucks that so few of the people i'm friends with here have the maturity to realize that it's just simply not a big deal if he's in a relationship. of all the things for yall to be mad at him over, THAT really takes the cake. anyways, i absolutely stand by what i said. aiming that amount of vitriol to a dude who has done NOTHING wrong is making this fandom just miserable and i truly cannot believe it happens over and over again every time he's seen with her. it's toxic and i'm just so frustrated you can't see that.

honestly, how will i even know who you are when you're sending me asks ON ANON. bro, my dms are open to EVERYONE. literally anyone can send me a message whether i follow them or not. i have that open so people can reach out to me any time they want whoever they might be but you choose to send me this as an ask over ANON. do you know what message that sends me? you want this public. you won't say this shit to my face bc then it's just you and me having a conversation. but you want to let all the people know how much of a 'horrible person' i am so then you can have more anons to back you up. bc power in numbers right? until someone is driven off this site? what kind of friend does that make you?

and all because i liked a post. it's actually funny how you got all of those claims from me liking ONE SINGLE POST. you're accusing me of attacking tom, of berating his whole entire being, of disregarding his mental health when all i did was like a post that said they missed the days when tom was seen as an individual. and i honestly don't see where your problem with that is. why is it such a crime for people to want to support his craft and his craft alone? and fine, the language was a bit offhanded but i've literally seen people call him WORSE THINGS on actual sites he can SEE. hell i saw another post in the tags that spoke meaner things about him which i don't even agree with. but me liking a post that deadass wasn't so fucking deep and was literally one single sentence compared to a whole article is suddenly a testament to my whole being and how awful i am? why are you acting like i've made such a disgusting take when I DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE DAMN POST. it's such a crime to fucking like things without it having a deeper meaning nowadays huh?

i honestly really want you to show me all the times i made a big deal out of this relationship. or me being mad over it bc it honestly feels like you're just dumping this all on me just to get your frustration towards other people out. bc by this point, you're just putting words in my mouth. is it bc i'm not reblogging stalkerish photos of them? is it bc i have said NOTHING about it instead cooing and awwing at every picture? is that why you immediately came to a conclusion that i have such a problem with him being in a relationship bc i am not waving a big banner that they look so darn cute together?

and you know what, i wasn't going to add this but fuck it. i'm pissed now. it's so fucking rich of you to keep talking about his mental health and how i'm causing so much damage to it when i have said nothing bad about this guy in my own posts or made my own takes on a site he has no idea exists when you're not even stopping to think about what you are doing to my mental health by coming to my own safe space guns blazing accusing me of shit i didn't even do. a bit hypocritical if you ask me. or maybe i just need to be rich and famous for you to actually care about that too.

[missgoldberry]

Hi! I also just finished and was left disappointed - from all the promotional interviews I expected more, they dragged out the unhappy times, I wanted to see them happy for more! What did you think? I'm despreate to talk about it with someone

Hi! Thanks for messaging, I never get asks and I would love to talk about the show!!

Overall I really liked it, but I do have some issues with it. I do get why some people are disappointed - I think with split season there was a lot of time to watch interviews (I usually don't but I love Nicola so watched quite a few and they did very good job selling it), share theories, read fanfics, etc etc.

For me, the pacing just wasn't right. For example, one of my biggest issues with the first season is how they get together, we have some happy moments in the middle but then they're miserable until the very end, have a lackluster reconciliation without solving anything, and suddenly have a baby. This had a different vibe tbh? In the first part they got together too fast for my tastes, I wanted more pining and begging from Colin but the carriage scene was amazing, and I understand that they had a lot to resolve in part 2 so FINE. Episodes 5 and 6 were absolutely beautiful, and I understand why the conflict needed to happen, and while it took time to resolve but like. After them sleeping apart after the wedding I needed a better sex scene than that snipped we got, and I really don't like that they immediately had a baby? I knew it would happen as soon as the 'race' between the sisters started but I still hated it. I wanted to see them traveling together, or writing, or just spending time together. The scene where Colin finally accepted her and expressed how proud he is was absolutely gorgeous tho.

And like, I understand why Colin was so mad and hurt. I understand that he was conflicted, that he loved her and missed her, but just couldn't reconcile all parts of her. I think it was very well written, and very well acted. But there we were a few moments I hated, and we never really got any resolution for it. Colin saying she trapped him and was pretty much just marrying her because they had sex?? When he didn't listen to her solutions to Cressida issue and said it's not her call what they do?? I'm glad he came around, and I'm glad she saved herself and her family in the end, but like. That was horrible, and he never apologized. Again, I get that he was hurt but saying that she deceived him into marriage was terrible, and I wish they solved it before the wedding because it tainted the whole experience a bit.

Also, I'm very sorry to say this but I just don't care about other character all that much💀💀 I'm happy they're here and I will be rooting for them during their seasons but I felt like there was a lot of time that could've been dedicated to Pen and Colin instead. What was the point of the whole Mondrich arc? They're lovely but we spent so much time with that family. I'm so so glad Benedict is exploring his sexuality but he had more sex scenes than the main couple. I didn't particularly care for Lady Danbury's brother (even though I'm glad for Violet!). I know this show is like that but I was getting quite frustrated, especially in the last episode. I wanted more of Pen and Colin!!

But there were also good things!! Penelope is a queen, I adore her. Nicola is a fucking star of this show. I loved the carriage scene, I love episode 5 especially, I love Colin standing up to Pen's mom, I love his love declaration. I love HER love declaration. I love that Pen didn't just abandom Whistledown, didn't give it up for Colin, she embraced it and was proud of her work. Colin was proud of her work. I love Pen and Eloise. Pen and Delacroix. Pen and her mother. Anthony, Kate and Colin! Anthony and Kate going to India!!! Their wedding dance. That moment where Pen admitted how much money she had. The moment Colin admitted he fucked it up with Cressida. Colin calling Pen his wife, calling her a Bridgerton. Pen saying Colin is enough. The kiss in the street the night before the wedding!! THE MOMENT IN THE BALLROOM WHERE COLIN SAID HE'S PROUD JUST BEING HER PARTNER. You can't deny that it was a beautiful season full of many beautiful, tender moments; more than any previous season tbh. It just needed a bit more at the end to make it up for all that misery. And I don't think they needed to have a baby so quickly, live a bit, you both have ambitions! And I wanted to see that.

[icharchivist]

Holy shit

Villain apologists are so weird to me

Like, I'm fully aware that Belial killed people and committed atrocities and while Lucilius played a big part in that, I'm not gonna say Belial is some sort of saint. He still caused untold pain and suffering of his own volition

I'm not excusing any of that

I would however still very much fuck him

YEAH RIGHT EXAC- didn't read the last sentence, hold on, *coughs* okay here i go YEAH RIGHT EXACTLY?????

I mean i think there's difference between apologisms that are all about recontextualizing their actions and whenever those information makes those crimes lighter or not, but the stuff i'm reading about the Lucilius's apologism (especially in a way that frames Belial as his *abuser* like come the fuck on. Can yall stop adding crimes he didn't commit to his list of actually horrible crimes for once, i want to discuss his depravity but people just make things up at this point) feel like a whole other level.

and like idk, when we say "yeah the way Lucilius treated Belial contributed a lot to the person Belial became" this isn't a way to brush off what Belial DID do. I always mention that the thing i love the most about Belial is that despite framing everything he did as him not having the choice (that it's "impulse from a primal beast, slave to their masters" ect..) - he DID. he DID have the choice. He STUBBORNINGLY refused himself this choice, he DECIDED to continue down that path and then delude himself into acting like he had no choice, but he HAS. Belial has agency in his own villainy. Pointing out that the way people treated him poorly played a part in him going down that path doesn't excuse any of Belial's actions nor does it mean he's not 100% at fault the moment he DECIDED to keep going like that.

But acting like Lucilius was justified in creating so many lifeforms in order to torture and abuse them later??? because all he wanted was to get back at God? Listen just because we all agree Bahamut fucking sucks and they should all overthrow Bahamut, you don't create independent thinking people and then throw them like garbage. I'm not asking Lucilius to be a father to his creations, but he's at least responsible for the way he MADE THEM ALL MISERABLE? HE CHOSES THAT FOR THEM???

Like, I get the reading about how Belial is overstepping boundaries by constantly clinging to Lucilius while Lucilius constantly tells him he's not interested, i get it, but it's also projecting a "normal" dynamic on them of Belial and Lucilius being two unrelated people and that therefore there would be no reason why Belial shouldn't step out by himself. Lucilius MADE Belial, so already, he's responsible for how Belial turned out, then, Lucilius specifically kept Belial at his side, and i'm sorry but by having Belial being in charge of the Fallen Angel project, whenever or not Belial knew the details of what he was about to do with them, he set up Belial in a position where he will end up betraying others and being in a position of hyper isolation. Belial may have CHOSEN to go with it, and that's on him, but that doesn't change the fact Lucilius isolated Belial and specifically used this devotion he still rejected Belial about in order to screw everyone over and isolate him? and how would you expect an isolated and devoted person to react to that if not doubling down on literally the only person they still have in their lives?

and the actual thing i don't get on that is WHY would you try to brush off all of this and say Lucilius is justified and actually Belial is abusive WHILE THE WHOLE POINT is that it reflects how Lucilius is treating people around him the exact way he reproaches Bahamut of treating him???

Lucilius hates Bahamut because he thinks his life is a joke, that he's being used for a purpose he cannot grasp, that God is uncaring and would discard of people he tried to use the moment he gets bored, and that's why Lucilius wants to destroy the world God created and make his own, but he LITERALLY treats people the exact same way. That's the POINT. That's what makes him INTERESTING. in his quest to make god pay for his actions, he ended up becoming exactly what he always hated. "Why would God do this?" i don't know, why DO YOU?

and it's INTERESTING. It's why i can't even dislike Lucilius because there's really interesting stuff going on here.

But you want to brush off on all he did to just paint him as a revolutionary with no actual acknowledgement on the fact wmtsb is full of people who resent others for things they themselves have done, have been part of ect?

sorry i went off topic a little bc i have been thinking about it and i do'nt have the heart to cut everything to answer the ask more faithfully lmao

but YEAH like i don't want to be a Belial apologist either (i only say that jokingly) the guy sucks and he choses that for himself, and the fact people treated him badly into that doesn't change that. Like there were 2k years between the way he was treated and his worst actions, the guy CHOSES to make things worse for himself.

AND IT'S FINE. that's what makes a good character.

And yeah we just want to fuck him sometimes and SO WHAT. It's fun!!! it's a fun and engaging character!!

Lucilius could be for you guys too if you weren't cowards who just want to pretend he's actually the victim :sob:

man villain apologists i swear.

[waterfall-ambience]

for the record i DO have a fic wip where ex comes back from the void after s8 and is very confused about everything that went down (+ trying to recover). it just so happens that i struggle with writing fics

[bteezxyewriter12]

Cold/ 2

Pairing- Yeosang x Named Reader

Word count- 6.8k

Includes- angst, make up, oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, face fucking, rough sex, missionary, sex from behind, riding, multiple orgasm, so much dirty talk, squirting, fluff

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Masterlists 📝ATEEZ Masterlist

📝Yeosang Masterlist

Part 1

🌟gifs are from google

J POV

The ringing of my bell, wakes me up in a fright and I sit up immediately

Where the fuck am I?

Glancing around the room, I realize I'm in my living room on my couch

And my bell is ringing off the fucking hook

It's probably Wooyoung

He said he'd come back later today

I guess it's later

Getting up, I drag my feet as I walk to the door

Opening it, my mouth drops to the floor, shock invading my system

"Yeosang?"

Is he really standing in my doorway?

He hasn't called or texted since I broke things off

It's been dead silence from him

Almost like he didn't care

Which completely contradicts how he's looking at me right now

Like he's miserable

"Can we talk?", he asks

I don't think it's a good idea, especially since he doesn't talk and we're probably going to sit in silence or I'm going to have to drag every little thing out of him

But like a sap, I can't say no to him

And I'm willing to drag everything out because he's here asking me to talk

"Sure", I answer, stepping aside so he can come in

Closing the door, I head to the living room with him following and we sit on the couch

I expect to sit in silence for awhile but he surprises me by actually talking

"Please come back to me", he says softly

Is he....asking me to be with him again?

I'm shocked

I thought he didn't like me at all that way with the way he acts

And even though I want to, I can't go back to him if things stay the same

I need to know, to feel that my boyfriend actually wants to be with me

And I don't feel that with him

"I...I don't think that can happen Yeosang"

"Why?", he asks, the saddest I've ever heard him

"I don't want you to force yourself to be with me if you don't want to"

"I do want to be with you", he says

I look at him and am dumbfounded to see tears in his eyes

Is he...going to cry?

What's going on?

What world did I wake up into?

I'm so confused

"I don't feel that from you. It's like you don't want to be anywhere near me. And I'm not going to be used for sex"

He shakes his head so quickly, "That's not why I want to be with you"

I really don't know what to say

He's answering me and saying all the right things but he's not elaborating on anything

Just saying the opposite of what I'm saying but I'm not feeling anything different from him

No emotion

"I don't know what to say Yeosang. I just don't feel anything from you. No affection. I feel like you don't even like me", I tell him, "You don't ever pay attention to me or act like you're happy to see me"

It hurts to say this because I love him so much and all I want is him

"I do pay attention Jo. I always pay attention to you", he says desperately, "I know you."

I find that hard to believe

Which completely sucks

Not believing that your boyfriend of five months, well ex-boyfriend, knows anything about you

"I know how beautiful you are, inside and out. How gorgeous your smile is, how beautiful your eyes are. How funny you are. How sweet and caring"

I shake my head, "Those things, my looks, my personality, anyone can see those things"

Those are visible things the world sees

And people can think I'm ugly or beautiful or average

They can love my personality or not

And yes it does matter that he thinks those things about me

But that doesn't mean he knows me or pays attention

"I do know you baby", he says softly

I'm so shocked that he called me baby

He's never called me anything but Jo

I start to shake my head but he says, "I do"

I want to believe him but I can't

He never pays attention, I see him not paying attention, so how can I believe him?

"Yeosang-"

"You're favorite color is black", he says

I mean yeah but that's something Wooyoung could of told him

"You're second favorite color is blue. You hate yellow. You say you hate pink but you like hot pink and magenta only"

Ok, that's a little more detail but still, Wooyoung could of told him

"You hate coffee and prefer tea instead but you make it like coffee. With milk and sugar. You love sweatpants and leggings and hate jeans because you think they're too tight. You like high heel shoes but they hurt your feet so you only wear them on special occasions. You prefer sneakers and Nike is your favorite brand. Nike air force ones are your favorite sneaker. You like the idea of dresses but when it comes to wearing one you don't like it"

I'm honestly surprised that he knows those things

Or that he even remembered

"Your favorite food is empanadas especially the way your mom makes them. I know because I've been bugging Wooyoung to ask your mom for her recipe and what she specifically uses so I can buy it. I wanted to surprise you by attempting to make them for you"

My mouth drops hearing that

He was going to make my favorite food?

My mom doesn't live in Korea anymore

She moves back to the U.S. and I know the specific cheese she uses isn't available in Korea

She used to special order it, along with other ingredients to make them

It's so sweet of him to even think of doing that let alone do it

I had no idea he even knew my favorite food

"I know that you love to sleep, that you like action movies and hate horror movies, that you like dogs the best. I know you want to have a german shepherd dog one day. I know your favorite animal is a wolf. I know you love tattoos. I know you have a few but you want more. You want to wear your hair in a ponytail but it hurts your head so you leave it down or in a braid"

Honestly, I'm getting even more surprised with every word

Some of these things are things I've said in passing conversations with the guys over the years, way before we even got together

"I know when you're annoyed you glare with your mouth slightly open, your tongue in your cheek. When you're angry, you stare and clench your jaw. When you hear something that sounds dumb, your right eyebrow raises. When you're thinking you bite your lip. When you want to stop yourself from laughing, you bite your lip too. When you laugh hard you hide behind your hands. You only get sarcastic when you're pissed unless you're making a joke. You get cranky when you don't get enough sleep. You like to cuddle into the blankets and pillows when you sleep."

Christ he does know a lot about me

"You wear winged eyeliner because that's all you can do. You wish you could do make up better and you watch YouTube videos to learn but you give up because you have no patience. Although I think you look beautiful with or without makeup"

He takes my hand, intertwining our fingers and surprising the fuck out of me

"So you see jagi, I haven't just been paying attention to you during our relationship. I've been paying attention to you for years"

I can see that and feels amazing to know that he knows all these things about me

I've watched him for years and I know a fair share of things about him too

"I also know you love me"

I look down, my cheeks heating up

His fingers lift my face to his, looking in my eyes, "And I want you to know that I love you Jo. So much"

Now I'm blown away

He loves me?

But he never showed that he even liked me

"You do?"

He nods, "Yes Jo. I love you. When you asked me out, I was trying to get the courage to ask you. After that we just kinda fell into going out and being together. And I fell even more in love with you"

I can't believe what he's saying

He...loves me

But I'm so confused

He never acted like he actually wanted to be with me

"But...but the way you were-"

"Was because I was terrified", he answers, "I never felt this way before. I never had a serious girlfriend. And I wanted you so much but I was scared of doing the wrong thing or something you didn't like and you would leave me."

I shake my head, "I wouldn't do that Yeosang. I wouldn't leave you for no reason"

"I know you think I didn't like you or want you because I wasn't affectionate. But I wanted to be. I wanted to hold your hand, hug you, be near you but I was scared and it made me freeze. You kinda made me nervous"

I can understand that and I get the fear of doing something wrong

Especially since he's never had a girlfriend before

But he could have said something

"Why didn't you just talk to me?"

"Because I didn't want to ruin anything. I didn't want you to think I was a loser"

"Yeosang, I would never think that about you. Ever. So please, don't worry about that ok?"

He nods, "I'm sorry Jo. But I promise I won't be like that again. I hate being without you. I miss you so much. I love you. Please, come back to me."

I nod

Of course I want to be with him

He's all I ever wanted

It killed me to think he didn't want me, to walk away from him

But if I'm going to be with him, he has to promise one thing

"Yeah Sangie but you have to promise to talk to me if something bothers you or if you're unsure of anything. You never have to be afraid to tell me anything.", I tell him, "I love you so much and I'm not leaving you unless you do something unforgivable"

"Never Jo. I'd never do anything to hurt you. I swear", he promises, "I promise I'll talk to you. I won't act the way I was before. I swear"

I nod, smiling softly at him, "I'll never do anything to hurt you either. I love you"

"I love you", he says, then pulls me to him, his lips crashing against mine

His tongue slides in my mouth and I'm so fucking surprised at the passion in his kiss

He grabs my hips, pulling me on his lap, then slowly moves his hands up my back, pulling me against him, kissing me desperately

I'm so fucking happy and honestly turned on

Plunging my hand in his hair, I tug on it, the moan he lets out shocking me to my core

He actually made a sound

Fuck, I want to make him do it again

His lips move from my lips, to my neck, sucking and biting

"Mmm baby, wanna fuck you", he whispers in my ear

Oh my shit

"Please baby. I can show you how good I can fuck you. How loud I can make you scream, how much I can make you cum. I'll make you scream my name over and over until it's the only thing you can think of. I'll show you how I really am"

Oh my god, this is a completely different Yeosang

And I fucking love it

"Yes Sangie"

He immediately stands up and I have to grab onto him quickly, locking my arms and legs around him

"Don't worry jagi. I'll never let you fall"

He brings me to my room, dropping me on the bed

His hands immediately grab onto my shirt, pulling and ripping it down the middle

Holy Jesus that's hot

Once the shirt is off, he pulls my shorts off, tearing my panties until they're shreds, leaving me naked

His eyes and hands roam my body, groping my hips, sides, boobs, everywhere, lust and love in his eyes

I take a big breath in, so turned on

"My god, you're so fucking beautiful baby. You don't know how many times I just stared at your body while you bounced on my cock. How many times I wanted to tell you how fucking sexy you are"

I moan softly, listening to him

"Don't worry baby, I'll tell you all the time now"

I nod, biting my lip

He slides his hands down, spreading my legs open, his eyes falling in between my legs

"So fucking wet already", he whispers, his fingers brushing against me, "All for me?"

"Yes", I cry, wanting him to keep touching me

He pulls me to the edge of the bed, kneeling in front of me

Fuck he's gonna eat me out

He hasn't done that yet

I haven't blown him either

We just went straight to sex and that's all it's ever been

"Your pussy is so pretty jagi"

I choke on air, listening to him

"I always wanted to tell you. You have the perfect fucking lips, perfect throbbing clit, perfect tiny wet hole"

Jesus Christ, I never thought that Yeosang could be this way

I knew that he was more vocal during sex from what Wooyoung slipped but this is something I didn't expect

I absolutely love it

He lays his tongue on me, swiping up and I shake from the pleasure

His tongue dives in, licking everywhere so fast

It's like after that one lick he couldn't hold himself back and I'm glad for that

He moans so loudly, like he's the one getting pleasured

His tongue is fucking amazing and I just ride the pleasure he's giving me, moaning like he is

He brings me right there, the next lick making me explode

"Fuck Yeosang!", I cry, so much pleasure rolling over me

"Oh my fucking god", he groans, "You taste so fucking good baby"

Those words blow my mind

I can't believe he's saying this to me

"God I need more. Can I have more?"

"Mm hmm", I answer

I feel him wrap his mouth around my clit, sucking on me fast and hard

"Yeosang oh my god!", I scream, my legs closing on their own

He pushes them open, growling, "Keep your legs open or I'll hold you down"

"Yyy..yes Sangie. I'm sorry", I whine

"Good girl", he praises his voice deep and sending shivers down my spine

He sucks on me again, his fingers sliding inside me

I immediately clench on them, loving how they feel inside me

Moving them in and out, he hits my spot every time he goes back in, increasing the pleasure

Lifting my head, I look at him, getting so turned on seeing him between my legs

His eyes lift to meet mine, smirking

"Like watching me eating your cunt?", he asks, his tongue rolling over my clit

"Yes Sangie"

He resumes sucking my clit, his fingers moving faster

I can't tear my eyes from him, watching his mouth move

I move my hand in his blonde hair, holding onto him

I'm right there again, the pleasure building

"Eyes on me when you cum", he demands

I nod, keeping my eyes on his

The next suck happens just as his fingers hit my spot and I lose it

"Yeosang", I yell, coming around his fingers, watching him watching me

His mouth doesn't stop, sucking me through my orgasm

When it's over, he lets go of my clit, saying, "God your fucking gorgeous when you cum"

I feel my entire body flush at his words

He pulls his fingers out, immediately putting them in his mouth, sucking me off them

I just gape at him

"Best taste in the world", he smirks

I can only stare at him, making him chuckle, "Gonna clean your pretty cunt"

His tongue is on me again, licking around my hole

"Fuck", I shiver

"Still feels good?"

I nod, "Yes"

"Good", he answers, then shoves his tongue inside me, making me scream

He fucks his tongue into my cunt and I can't stop my hips from moving

"Good girl. Keep going", he urges

I grip his hair harder, fucking his tongue like it's his cock, clenching his tongue over and over

My god, he's only eaten me out so far and it's amazing

His hands grip my thighs hard, letting me grind against his mouth

"Sangie", I whine, getting closer with every shove of his tongue, "I'm gonna cum Sangie"

He nods and I let go, my third orgasm hitting me hard

His tongue keeps going as I watch him swallow over and over

After, he pulls away, his whole face wet with my cum and juice

Fuck, it's hot

He just smirks, wiping his mouth, "My favorite"

I sit up immediately, pushing him back and pull his shirt off his body

I motion for him to stand up and he does my hands in his waistband pulling them and his boxers down

I let them fall to his feet and he steps out of them, leaving him naked in front of me

I oogle his body, touching his chest, his abs, feeling his strong muscles under his soft skin

Pushing him back from the bed, I kneel down in front of him, hearing his breath hitch

I move forward, pressing soft kisses to his hard abs, keeping my hands on his hips

God he's so fucking sexy, turning me on so much

He moans softly, his hand playing with my hair

I look up at him and he's already looking at me

I smile softly at him, getting a smile back

I love his gorgeous smile

Going back to kissing him, I move lower and lower, spreading my kisses along his big thick cock

When I get to his head, I lick all around, tasting him

And he tastes good

I keep circling his head, hearing his soft moans

When I finally move his head in my mouth and suck, he moans, "Fuck"

I take that as a cue to go at it and I suck harder, taking more of his dick in my mouth

My god, his cock is so good to suck on

So unbelievably hard but his skin is soft

I Iike sucking on him so much more than I ever have when sucking dick

Slowly, I take more and more of him with every few movements, sucking on him like my life depends on it

I make sure my tongue is on his underside as I move up and down his length

"Shit baby, you're so good at sucking dick. Feels so fucking good", he compliments, making me smile around him

I'm glad I'm making him feel good and I'm glad he's telling me so I don't have to guess

Moving forward, I slacken my jaw, pushing down on his cock

His head moves into my throat and I choke for a second

I breath through my nose, then continue to take him in a little at a time

"Jagi you don't-", he starts

I shake my head, moving down his length

Almost

I almost got him in

Tears spring to my eyes and run down my cheeks, spit falling from my mouth

Surging forward, I take the rest of his length in, choking around his cock

I feel him try to move back but I grip his hips hard, keeping him inside my mouth

Yeah, I'm choking on him but I like it

I like feeling his hard length buried in my throat

After a minute, I start sucking on him, listening to his moans, his hand tightening in my hair

After a few sucks, I slide down half his cock, then move forward, taking him in again, shoving him in my throat

"Oh my fucking god!", he cries

I do it again, gagging and swallowing on him to get myself to relax

"Fuck fuck fuck", he moans, his eyes closed, pleasure on his face

His sounds and the look on his face spur me to keep going and move up and down his cock faster

I deepthroat him a few times, then swallow on him, then move again, tears flowing down my face, his cock coated with my spit

"Can I fuck your throat? Please baby?", he begs

I nod, sitting back and keeping my mouth open

"Fuck Jo, you're such a good girl for me"

I nod, looking up at him through tears

I want to be good for him

I like hearing him call me a good girl

I didn't know that would turn me on but it does

Especially when he says it in his deep voice

"I'm gonna start ok?"

I nod

He pulls out, then thrusts back in my throat, bottoming out

Then he does it again and again burying his cock in my mouth

More tears fall down my face, spit falling down my mouth

He pulls his cock completely out and I suck in a breath, so much saliva falling down on to my chest and the floor

After breathing a few times, he presses his head to my lips and I open my mouth, letting him fuck my face, making me choke from time to time

"Fuck baby, you look so fucking pretty all messy like this", he praises, his eyes on me, "Like getting your throat fucked?"

I nod

I am enjoying it which is surprising

I never thought getting my throat pummeled by a huge thick cock would feel good and make me horny

"Like choking on my dick?"

I nod again, blinking through the tears

"I'm gonna cum in that pretty mouth. Down that tight throat", he grunts, moving faster

I moan, liking the sound of that

"Oh, does my baby want my cum?"

I nod rapidly

I do

I want to taste him

Badly

"Good girl", he grunts, his cock twitching and throbbing in my mouth

I feel his warm cum shoot down my throat as he orgasms, yelling my name, holding me on his dick

"Fuck Joanne. Fuck baby. Swallow"

I listen swallowing and tasting him

I'm shocked that he tastes so fucking good

"Suck baby. Suck all my cum out", he demands, his eyes on me

My mouth moves immediately, sucking his cock as I swallow too

"Fuck, such a good girl for me. My baby girl"

When he finishes, he pulls out and I swallow over and over, breathing hard, spit and cum leaking on my chest

I wipe my mouth, then my chest with my hands when I feel his hands on my shoulders, helping me stand up

I feel his hands cup my face, his fingers wiping my eyes

He leans down, his mouth against mine in a soft kiss

Which turns heated right away, both of us groping each other

I'm surprised to find that his cock is rock hard again

His hands move me, shoving me down on the bed, climbing on top of me

He rips my legs open, his cock buried inside my cunt in one stroke

I can't think or react as he starts moving at lightening speed, fucking me hard, bottoming out every thrust

"Oh god", I whimper, moving my hands to his biceps

He growls, pulling my hands off him, slamming them down on the bed above me, holding me down by my wrists with one hand

God he's so fucking hot

"No touching. Keep your legs wide open", he orders and fuck I feel myself drench his cock

He smirks, so sexy I can't fucking take it

"Baby likes my cock deep inside her huh?"

I nod, his head ramming into my spot, sending incredible pleasure through me

"Answer me", he demands

"Yes Sangie!", I cry, "Love your cock deep inside me"

Jesus I had no idea that he likes to be dominant or that he's so good at it

Or that I like submitting to him

"I know", he laughs, "I feel your hole straining around me, feel you open wide for me. Feel you pulsing so quickly"

Everything he said is right

He opens my cunt so well, stretching me around him so pleasurably

He pounds his cock inside me, my body arching from how good he's giving it to me

The need to cum shows up out of no where and I scream, "I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum on your cock!"

He chuckles, "Yeah baby. Cum around my cock. Now"

He hits my spot and stars blind me as a wave of pleasure crashes over me

I can't stop screaming his name, shaking under him, listening to his praise of "Good girl"

His cock fucks me through my orgasm and I'm in pure bliss

🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼🐼

Yeosang POV

I watch her cum under me so beautifully, her orgasm giving me so much pleasure

It always felt good when she came on me but this one...it was huge

Different from the other times

And how it's going to be all the time now

I'll make sure

Fucking her through her orgasm, I roll my hips into hers, plunging deep inside her perfect cunt

So tight, so wet, so fucking warm

Glancing down, I watch my cock covered in her cream and it fuels me to go faster

Letting go of her hands, I move my arms under her legs, pushing her legs to her chest, fucking her pretty little hole hard

"Yeosang", she cries, her arms moving towards me, "Can I touch now? Please?"

I smirk, hearing her ask

"Yeah jagi. You can touch me now"

Her hands move to my upper arms, squeezing so hard

"Sangie. Wanna cum. Please can I cum?", she asks, learning fast

"Yeah baby. Cum on my cock whenever you want"

"Yeosang oh my fucking god!", she screams her cunt pulsing around me

I shove my cock inside her, letting her ride her orgasm out on me, watching her creamy cum leak around us

"God jagi, you're cream is so pretty", I praise her, "Looks so good on my cock"

"Fff...fuck", she moans

Leaning down, I kiss her deeply, my tongue in her throat, hers playing with mine

When her orgasm tapers off, I pull out and flip her over on her hand and knees, get behind her and bury my cock inside her again

"Yes fuck", she cries, her hands gripping the sheets so hard, her knuckles are white

Again I fuck her hard and fast

It's like once I'm inside her I can't stop

I have to fuck her dumb

I have to drive my cock inside as deep as I can

It's not even about the pleasure although it is on another fucking level

Seriously, I never felt this much pleasure during sex

But for me, it's more about making her feel the ultimate pleasure

Making her cum again and again

Making her scream my name

I'm addicted to her orgasms and I don't want it any other way

Moving my hand around her body, I press my fingers to her clit, rubbing it in circles as I fuck her from behind

"Yeosang, oh fuck. I...shit....so good", she cries

"Good baby. My cock making you happy?"

"Yes baby. Yes"

"Good. Now I want you to squirt on me"

She whines lowly, "I don't...I can't...I never..."

"Shh jagi. I'll make you ok? I know my pussy can do it", I assure her

"Ok", she whispers, taking the pounding I'm giving her

I focus on destroying her spot, slamming my head there over and over while I play with her little bump

"Gonna split this cunt wide open. Ruin you for any other cock but mine"

"Yes Sangie. Ruin me. I only want your cock", she cries, pleasure in her voice

"C'mon baby, squirt for me", I whine, wanting it right now, "Am I not fucking you good enough?"

"I...I...fuck!", she shouts

Her hole throbs hard and I feel my pelvis get soaked

Looking down, I watch her hole gush squirt around my dick

"Yes good girl. Fuck your cunt is so pretty squirting all over me"

I'm fucking mesmerized, just watching her soak me

When her cunt stops squirting, I pull out and reposition us again

Laying down, I put her on my lap, then slap her thigh

"Get on my cock and ride me", I demand, "I ate your cunt out, fucked your hole, made you cum over and over. Made you squirt. So now it's your turn to fuck me and make me cum"

She nods right away, "Yes baby. I'll ride you. Anything you want"

I smirk at her, "That's my good little cockslut"

She closes her eyes, moaning softly

Guess she likes name calling too

I think she likes me being dominant

She submitted to me so easily and I fucking love it

"Well?", I demand, "Fuck my cock"

She nods, holding up my cock, hovering over me then sinking down, sliding down my shaft until she's sitting on me

All of me buried inside her, her cunt squeezing me hard

Her hands move to my stomach, leaning down on me as she starts bouncing, pleasure hitting me hard

And my god she's so beautiful riding my cock

Her breasts bouncing in my face, her face in pleasure

The sight of her cunt swallowing my cock, leaving me a creamy mess is fucking hot

This is definitely my favorite position

"Fuck jagi, you're so pretty", I compliment her, reaching out and holding onto her breasts, playing with her nipples

Her cunt gushes juice around my cock, completely soaking my lap, it running off me and onto the bed

She leans back, her back arching, her hands on my thighs, bouncing and rocking on me, pleasure all over her face

Her whole body is dripping with sweat, her hair soaked and she looks fucking amazing

Her pussy is giving me so much pleasure and watching her take me over and over brings me closer and closer

And I know when she cums, I will too

"Baby wants to cum?", I ask her

She bites her lips nodding

"Good girl. After you cum, I'm going to fill this tiny pretty cunt with cum"

"Yes Sangie"

"Fill this cunt so much, my cum is going to leak out of you, all over your thighs and legs. And I'm gonna watch your hole gush my cum out"

She nods, moaning desperately, "Yes Yeosang. Want your cum inside me. Want you to fill me. Please"

I nod, happy she wants that

I haven't cummed inside her yet

This is gonna be the first time and I'm glad she wants it just as much as I do

She pulses and spasms around me so fast, throwing me into pleasure

"Make a big mess baby girl", I whisper

"Yeosang!", she cries, her pussy holding my cock in a fucking vice grip, clenching over and over, her hand on my shoulder, her nails digging into my skin

Feeling her cunt, I pull her down, keeping my cock inside her as I cum, pure ecstasy hitting me

"Oh god. Joanne!", I shout, the pleasure turning my brain off

All I can do is feel

And it feels amazing, her pussy still throbbing tightly

"Fuck Jo, keep throbbing baby. Milk my cock baby. Take all my cum"

"I will baby", she whimpers, "Give it all to me"

I do, squeezing her hips hard, her cunt squeezes making it last longer

When I finish, I roll us over, pulling out then opening her legs, watching my cum slowly leak out of her

"Fuck, so pretty", I say, mesmerized, "Such a tiny hole. Takes all my cum so well"

"Yes Sangie. Always want your cum", she says breathlessly, her chest moving up and down fast, eyes closed

My gaze moves to her and I reach out, moving her sweaty hair out of her face

She opens her beautiful eyes and smile softly at me

Love for her fills me to the brim and I lean down, kissing her slowly but hard, pouring my love into the kiss

Her arms move around my neck, pulling me closer to her

Laying next to her, I pull her in my arms, against me as I kiss her deeply, the way I should have been kissing her all along

The way I will be kissing her from now on

When the kiss ends, we just lay together, looking in each other's eyes

"I love you", I tell her, softly touching her cheek

"I love you", she answers

I will never, in my life, get tired of hearing her say that

Ever

After awhile, her eyes start to close but she forces them open again

"Wanna sleep baby?", I ask

She nods, "Are you staying?"

"Always", I answer, watching a smile form on her face

"Ok"

Getting us comfortable, I keep her in my arms with her laying her head on my shoulder, body pressed against mine

I pull the covers over us, kissing her forehead gently

"Love you", she says, sleepily

"Love you jagi", I reply, moving my fingers into her hair, playing with the long strands, "Sleep baby. I'm here ok. I'm gonna hold you the whole time"

"Yay", she cheers softly, her eyes closed, snuggling into me

I can't help but smile at how adorable she is

Within a few minutes she's fast asleep

I just watch her for a little while, so grateful everything worked out

Grateful she loves me, that she took me back, that she's here in my arms

And I swear to myself, to her, that I will never lose her again

😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺😺

1 week later

J POV

He kisses me again, his tongue against mine, wrapped in each other's arms on the couch in the dressing room

Yeosang has been completely different since we got back together

He's super affectionate, talkative, funny, always making me laugh

Always telling me he loves me

And in bed?

He's a fucking animal

And I'm loving every second

He's more subtle in his affection when we're out in public but he still holds my hand, puts his arm around me, kisses my cheek

Unless we're kissing

When we're kissing he goes all out and he doesn't care who sees

And we kiss a lot

Like a lot

It's like ever since he kissed me for real the night we got back together, we both can't get enough of each other's kisses

"I love you", he murmurs before kissing me again, his arms wrapped around my body, holding me close to him as we lay down

"I love you", I answer, pressing my lips, my tongue against his, my arms around his neck, fingers playing with his hair

"So much", he adds

"So much", I agree

"Oh god again!", Wooyoung exasperates

We stop for a second, looking up at him standing by the end of the couch

"What?", Yeosang says, raising his eyebrow

"You guys. Kissing. Tongues down each other's throats", he whines, "PDA. I wanted to come sit and relax and I find you two making out. Again"

"Leave them alone", San says as he walks by on his phone, making Yeosang and I laugh

"What?", Wooyoung squeaks, "They're always kissing. Always all over each other. I don't want to see that"

"Then walk away. Leave them alone", Seonghwa repeats, "They're happy. Stop whining"

"Yeah", Yeosang tells him, "You yelled at me for not giving her affection. And now that I am, you're yelling at me again"

Wait what?

"When did he yell at you?", I ask Yeosang

"When I was sitting on the couch in the dorm, crying"

"You were crying? Why were you crying?", I ask alarmed

"Because baby", he says, his fingers playing with my hair, "I lost you. I missed you and I was so angry at myself for being so cold towards you"

"Oh Sangie, no", I say, feeling so bad that he cried

I mean, I saw tears in his eyes when he was at my apartment but I didn't know he cried

I hate that he was crying because of me

I never want to make him cry

"It's ok jagi. I was dumb for hurting you. Wooyoung yelled at me for hurting you. And he was right to. I was a jerk"

"No baby", I shake my head, stroking his cheek, "You weren't a jerk. You were nervous and didn't know what to do. It was a misunderstanding baby."

"Well I promise it's never going to happen again jagi. I love you more than anything"

My heart swells in happiness

"I love you more than anything too Sangie", I tell him

He smiles and it takes my breath away

Pulling him back to me, I immediately kiss him, him kissing me back

"Oh god, fine whatever", Wooyoung complains

We both ignore him, falling into each other

I don't know how long we kiss for when he's called to get his makeup done

Right he's here for a photo shoot

I forgot

I pull away but his lips move to my neck, sucking on my skin

"Sangie", I whimper, "They need you for makeup"

"Don't wanna go", he answers, sucking on another part of my skin and I know he's leaving his marks on me

Which I will proudly wear

"You have to baby. You can't ignore your ATEEZ responsibilities"

"But Jo", he whines and my god he is so cute

"It's ok baby. I'm here ok. I'm not going anywhere."

He moves his head back, looking at me, "Ok jagi", he sighs dramatically

I just giggle at his cuteness

He gives me a soft kiss, then disentangles from me, standing up

Then he grabs my hand, hauling me up and leading me towards the makeup chair

"Uh Sangie?", I start

"Want you to stay with me", he says, glancing back at me, "Please"

A huge smile bursts on my face

This is the first time he's asking me to stay with him while he's getting ready for a photo shoot

Well it's the first photo shoot since we got back together but still

I'm happy

"Of course baby", I answer

When we get to the makeup artist, he grabs another chair, putting it next to his

We both sit and he takes my hand, kissing the back of it and holding it in his lap

I stay with him the whole time he gets his makeup and hair done

When he comes out of the room, changed for the shoot, I almost pass out

Seriously he's gonna kill me with the white tank top, leather jacket, black pants and boots

My boyfriend is fucking banging hot

He comes over to me, smirking

"Close your mouth jagi", he says, pushing my bottom jaw up

I had no idea my mouth was open

"You like what I'm wearing?", he asks

I nod

"Are you horny? Wet for me?"

I nod

I am

Very wet

He leans closer, whispering in my ear, "Don't worry baby. During our break I'll fuck you hard against a wall. Make you cum and scream so good"

I swallow hard, again just nodding

"So cute when your fucked out and I didn't even touch you yet"

"I uh..yeah"

Work brain work

"C'mon jagi, picture time", he smiles, kissing my cheek, then taking my hand and leading me to the set

I just follow him, my brain slowly turning back on

"Sit here baby", he says, point to a seat

I do and he just smiles, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my lips, "So cute baby"

He walks to Hongjoong, Yunho and Seonghwa who are already on the set

I guess they're doing a group picture?

I don't know

The director arranges the guys against a fence prompt, putting Yeosang next to Seonghwa

Both of them are wearing tank tops and a leather jacket that they are told to hold open, showing their shoulders

And while Seonghwa is good looking, Yeosang is so fucking hot

The hottest guy on the planet

All the guys are good looking but he takes all my attention

The photographer starts snapping pictures and I just watch my beautiful boyfriend pose

His eye move to mine for a second, smiling widely at me, before he looks back at the camera, his face changing into a serious pose

As I sit there, I am so glad that he came to talk to me and he's mine again

My Sangie

[hoedamn-eron]

doctor steven grant, phd - part 7 (finale)

You're miserable, and it's your own doing. You have to fix this.

Warnings: Age gap, but it is appropriate/legal. Steven may be a little OOC. Inaccurate depictions of DID (only knowledge from the show and some light research). Mentions of being in a bar, and drinking alcohol and being drunk. Pure fluff. Some swearing. Steven and Reader share a steamy kiss. Word count: 2,972 GN!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Final part to this series! Thank you for sticking with this and with me, even when I doubted every chapter and it came out later than planned! I know now for my next series not to post until I'm happy with it!

Sorry this is late, again. I had a guest stay over this weekend so I didn't find the time to post!

Part 6 ● Series Masterlist

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since you stormed out of Steven’s flat, and you were sad. Scratch that, you were miserable. Dreary. Gloomy. You were feeling all of the negative emotions and it was eating at you from the inside.

You missed him. Steven. He’d given you the space you’d asked for; you hadn’t heard from him since he sent the apology text. He hadn’t contacted you, and you hadn’t contacted him, but good God, you wanted to. You wanted to know where you stood, if he still wanted to be with you or if he’d finally made a decision on asking you to become official.

Mostly, you felt like an idiot for the way you left things. After taking a few days to calm down and rethink the situation, you had acted irrationally (although you still think Jake was a major arsehole). You should have let Steven talk to you, like an adult.

“You’re miserable, he’s miserable,” your friend had said one day after work, where you both had needed a drink and had gone to the pub near her flat. You’d finally told her everything about meeting Jake and what he said, and how your dinner date with Steven went at his flat. “Just talk to him.”

You groaned and buried your head into your hands. “I can’t now, I’m too embarrassed.”

“His lectures aren’t nearly as enthusiastic as they were,” your friend said before taking a sip of her wine. “He just…seems to have lost his spark.”

If that didn’t make you feel anymore guilty, then you don’t know what.

You sigh as you push your own wine away from you, suddenly not feeling like drinking it. “I don’t know what to do.”

“Listen,” your friend said sternly, leaning forward. “I’m saying this out of love, and because you are so stupidly in love with this man, it’s pitiful.” She cleared her throat before sitting up straighter, giving you a hard look. “You’re acting ridiculous. I have to admit that I haven’t been his biggest fan since he stood you up that one time, but it was obvious he wanted to be with you afterwards. The guy is awkward and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if you were his first serious relationship, which was probably why he was so nervous about asking you to be his person.”

You open your mouth to protest but hold your tongue as your friend holds up her finger at you.

“I think you’re projecting. This is also your first serious relationship and you’re panicking, thinking you’re not good enough, but you are. You deserve to be happy, so fuck whatever his brother said.”

“I am not projecting – “

“You’re projecting,” your friend replied. “And I’m not saying your feelings aren’t valid, but you’ve allowed his brother to get into your head and now you’re not letting yourself be happy.”

You bit your lip as you looked down at your hands. You knew you had panicked, especially after bumping into Jake. You had felt like everything was going your way and it was just too convenient. Of course you were your own worst enemy.

You sigh in frustration before grabbing your wine glass, deciding to finish it off in one large gulp. “I’m such an idiot,” you say as you a bit too forcefully put the glass back on the bar.

“A little bit,” your friend said, taking another sip of her wine.

“How do I approach him after this?”

Your friend shrugs. “That’s for you to decide.”

You go back and forth into the late (early) hours of your terrible love life, what you’re going to do about Steven and how you were stupid enough to listen to his brother you doesn’t even know you. Your friend told you he had lectures all week but he was going to take a few days off and that should be your opportunity to fix things with the ‘nerdy man who would probably end the world for you’.

You snort at her – in your opinion – silly declaration. As the night goes on, both of you eventually stumble out of the bar, hailing a black cab to take you both back to your flat, where your friend was going to crash on your couch. Your friend hung heavily (and drunkenly) on your arm as she mumbles to you about the pizza she knows you have left over in your fridge from the night before.

You tell her she’s free to have it as you both clamber into the taxi. You stumble your way through your address to the driver before sitting back, giggling as your friend struggles with her seatbelt before reaching over and helping her, struggling yourself a little.

“Listen, listen,” your friend says, as you fasten your own seatbelt, the car setting off. You look at her, your eyes a little fuzzy. “You love Steven. That’s why you’re feeling so shit.”

Your eyes widened at her. “No I don’t love him, I barely know him.”

Your friend snorted. “Please,” she lay her head back against the seat. “You’re head over heels, want to get married, grow old together, in love.”

Your breath hitches in your throat as you stare at your friend. No, she’s wrong; you don’t love Steven. You like him a lot, sure; he was kind and funny, and he always gets your favourite snack when you meet up, and sometimes he lets you borrow his books because he knows you’d enjoy them. Or you would have mentioned a title the week before and he’d find a copy because of course he remembered because he was Steven.

He went out of his way to that small coffee shop by your work to get that coffee you liked, because he knew it would make you smile and giggle with joy because you genuinely loved the stuff. He was always there to comfort you when you’d had a terrible day at work, whether he sat quietly and let you rant at him or when he wraps you in his arms and lets you cry.

He makes your chest hurt and your brain goes fuzzy when he’s around. You always feel butterflies in your tummy when you think of him and you feel stupidly happy whenever he texts you ‘good morning’ and about his plans for the day, whether he’s at work or not.

You’re smiling now, thinking about it.

He feels like a warm summer day all the time. He is warmth, and comfort, and oh God you love him.

You groan. “Oh God, you’re right.”

“I know I am,” your friend replied, her words slurring as she grinned to herself.

“What do I do?” you sigh, leaning your head back against the seat.

Your friend shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s something I can’t answer for you.” She let out a giggle. “Maybe you need to do a grand gesture.”

The taxi has pulled up outside your flat before you can answer your friend. You both fumble for cash for the driver before you both stumble out of the taxi, your friend talking to you about the pizza again. She warmed it up as soon as she stepped into your flat.

You wake up the next day with a mild hangover, and you mostly sleep most of the morning away. Thank God it was a Saturday, and you heard no sound nor any movement from the living room, indicating your friend had woken up and probably left to go to her own home (which she’d confirmed in a text to you when you had finally looked at your phone – she had a date with Claire).

You contemplate texting Steven but chicken out every time. By the time the day had come to an end, you had merely stared at your text thread, the soul crushing ‘I’m sorry’ text mocking you. You felt pathetic. How was one supposed to make the first move?

The rest of your weekend flew by, and your friend calls you on Sunday evening to talk to you about her date with Claire. She was going to meet up at the coffee shop by the university campus after her classes were done.

“You can finally meet Claire.”

And you did. She was lovely, blonde and bubbly, exactly your friends type. She made the effort to talk to you, not just solely focusing on your friend, talking to you about her job and how the two met.

You were honestly having a good time, until Steven walked through the door.

Your smile fell from your face as you watched him walk up to the counter, probably (definitely) ordering his usual tea. He was wearing his glasses, his phone in his hand, and he was wearing your favourite maroon jumper of his, the one that made you feel warm and fuzzy on the inside and it always look so good on him. His hair was messy, as per usual, and God, he looked as good as he always does. You tried to shy away, making yourself as small as possible, so he didn’t see you.

“Go and talk to him.”

You eyes snapped to your friend as she gave you a knowing look, Claire looking at you curiously. You shook your head. “No.”

“You’ve been avoiding him for weeks, and on Friday, you came to the conclusion that you loved him, so – “

“I am…doing it in my own time.”

“You’re so awkward,” said your friend. “Just go over and say you’re sorry or that you love him and want to marry him the first chance you get.”

“Stop it, he will hear you,” you hissed.

“What’s happening?” Claire asked, whispered between the two of you.

Your friend sighed in exasperation as she looked at Claire, her hand subconsciously landing on Claire’s thigh. “My friend here,” she said, giving you a nod. “Is in love with my history professor,” she nodded towards Steven. “And they’ve been going out since before Christmas and he hasn’t asked them to be official and they’ve ran off.”

“You’re missing half of the story!” you cry before you lean forward to explain to Claire. “I ran into his brother, who he doesn’t have a great relationship with, which is neither here nor there.” Claire gives you a slow nod. “And he told me that mine and Steven’s relationship wasn’t serious and that he was going to end it.”

“But you shouldn’t have taken his brother’s word for it.”

You open your mouth to retort but Claire interrupted you, “I think you should go and talk to him.”

You keep yourself from snapping that it was none of her business before you remembered you had invited her into the conversation. You sat back in your chair, glancing back at Steven as he stood waiting for his tea. “I can’t.”

Your friend rolled her eyes as Claire have you a sympathetic smile. “You’re not going to feel better or get any closure if you don’t.”

You stare at her for a minute before you look back at Steven, who was smiling at the barista as she handed him his tea. He turned towards the door, making his way out having not seen you. You watched him through the windows, seeing him walking back towards the university buildings, probably about to go to his last class of the day.

“Go and talk to him.”

You turn to Claire and your friend, weirdly feeling the urge to cry. “What if he wants nothing to do with me?”

“You’ll never know unless you go.”

You look back at him again, watching him walk further and further away.

What if he was ‘it’ for you? What if you were letting your own stupid feelings get in the way of proper happiness, when it was something you needed to establish with Steven, and you had thrown it all away because his brother was a prick and had apparently liked to see Steven squirm?

You were an idiot. A ridiculous, head over heels in love, idiot.

You bit your lip before giving a firm nod. “Okay.”

Your friend’s mouth fell open slightly before she gave you a large smile. “Okay!”

“Okay.” You stood from your seat, gathering your bag. “Okay. O-okay.”

“No, don’t chicken out now.” Your friend pointed at you. “He’s outside, right now, just as miserable as you are, and you’re not about to let this go before clearing the air.”

You take a deep breath before nodding, gritting your teeth as you quickly left the coffee shop, looking around and seeing Steven walking back towards the lecture halls. You took off quickly, your hand landing on his forearm just as he got to the door, causing him to jump and nearly spill his tea. He turned his head, his body stilling as he realised it was you.

You nearly stopped short at the sight of him. His eyes were the same, maybe a little more tired looking, but they were still that beautiful, warm brown that always made you melt. You wanted nothing more than to cup his face in your palms, feeling the stubble he probably had since he had to shave so often, wanting to kiss him until the end of days. It had been so long since you had last kissed him.

He breathed your name. “I…what are…i-it’s good to see you.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurted out. No, that wasn’t what you were supposed to say but it was a good start. “I messed up. I shouldn’t have listened to Jake, I shouldn’t have made those assumptions about you, about us. I acted irrationally and I shouldn’t have stormed out like I did.”

He called your name but you stopped him. God he looked adorable, looking at you like that.

“Please let me say what I need to say before I lose my confidence,” you said, looking at his stupidly adorable, confused expression. “You…are an amazing man and I am so lucky to have you in my life, whether you want it to be as a friend or more. I acted…I was…I am really stupid to believe a complete stranger over you, and I shouldn’t have done that, I should have come to you straight away. I want to be with you, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together because I…I-I love you, and you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a partner, and you’re so kind and so, so thoughtful and I don’t deserve you and I understand, again, if you are happy to just be friends.”

You stare at him, your heart hammering hard in your chest. He was looking at you with a soft look on his face, almost relieved. You swallowed nervously. “Please say something, Steven.”

“You love me?”

Your mouth falls open slightly as your breathing became a little laboured. Had you taken it a step too far? You had just poured your soul to this wonderful man, but the ‘L word’ was just a little too much for him? You remember how he could overthink situations, and maybe you had just made him uncomfortable. He might not have been in the same place as you.

“Love?”

You’d taken too long to answer. You looked at him with wide eyes before you nod. “Yes. I love you.”

Steven breathed out a small laugh, looking down bashfully for a moment before looking back up at you. “I was…I was going to ask you that night, to be truly mine, and when you said about Jake…I thought I’d never see or speak to you again.”

“I’m sorry,” you said again. “I shouldn’t – Jake got into my head.”

“I don’t blame you.”

You give a small snort of laughter. “You should. I was a plonker. Not giving you the chance to explain, just telling you to go away and leave me alone – “

“No, love, I understand,” Steven said. “I could have said something – should have said something – instead I was stood there like a bloody git letting you walk away. I love you too, and I’m sorry.” He shook his head, taking a step towards you. “Stupidest thing I’ve ever done, that.”

“Pretty stupid of me to walk away.” You bring yourself closer.

“We were both stupid,” Steven said, so close you were both breathing the same air.

You lightly gasp as he leaned in, his lips meeting yours. You held back a groan; you’d missed this. His warmth, his hand on your waist, how breathless he made you. You’d kissed before, but not like this, this was electric. Your brain had gone all fuzzy, all you could hear, smell, and feel was Steven. You hands stroked up that jumper that you vowed to steal later, knowing that there will be a later this time, your hands landing on his firm chest, feeling him breathing against you.

His tongue was starting to glide along your lips with a deep moan from him, and before you could let it go further, prepared to drag him away from prying eyes in some abandoned classroom or office, a loud cheer caused you both to pull apart, Steven nearly spilling his tea. You both look to see Claire and your friend, your friend’s arms in the air in victory as she looked at you both with wide eyes and an even wider smile. Claire was trying to pull her away, giggling, and apologising to you both, telling you to ‘carry on’.

You both look away from the two, before practically giggling at each other. You should probably bring up Jake and his other brother, but that was for another time. This was about you two. You and your boyfriend.

Steven nudged his nose with yours. “Would you like to go on a date with me?”

You bit your lip, smiling. “I would love nothing more, Doctor Grant.”

Tagged - @kingtwhiddleston, @ahookedheroespureheart, @harrys-tittie, @avasif, @romanarose, @othersideoftheparadise, @mt2sssss, @milkymoon2483, @n0ripeaches, @theconsultingdoctor10, @brandyscorner, @moonliqhtszn, @classypeachlightsalad, @toracainz, @preciousbabypeter, @teacupcollector, @hot-mess-express1, @starkdanverss, @mintgreen24

[everafterkeiji]

Could you write a Miya Osamu fic where Atsumu overhears and misunderstands a conversation between Osamu and his girlfriend causing Atsumu to jump to the conclusion that they’re breaking up and therefore, he (and the team) try to keep them together/remind that they love each other while Osamu and his girlfriend are just confused since they're still happily together?

hi! thank u so much for requesting also I'm sorry if it took long to finish (i really wasn't feeling myself) but i hope u have a good day/night<33

PAIRINGS: Osamu Miya x fem! reader

GENRE: fluff, very little angst

WORD COUNT: 2.5K

“Samu, you’re not helping.” You said, running a hand to your face in frustration. Osamu stares at you as his hands rest on his hip.

“Whatever, you’re no fun anyway.” He insults in return making you roll your eyes.

“No fun? Seriously?”

“Just leave then.” Your boyfriend exclaims resulting for you to release a scoff of disbelief while you reach for your bag.

Holy shit. Atsumu thinks, a rush of panic coursing through his body as he speeds away from this heartbreak of a scene. What the hell were you two fighting about? You and his brother were never like this or at least was hidden from the blondes existence but nonetheless, it worried him for the sake of you two especially at the distinct way your words were too sharp to be thrown at each other.

Wasn’t Osamu the type to clung onto you like a child so why did the tone of his voice alter in a manner he didn’t like since it was directed to you? Atsumu takes you as his best friend so if his brother were to act like a douchebag, he’d have to do something to avenge whatever tears you let out because of his twin. Everything was surprising him even if he’s seen you two act all intimate on the couch but to see a side of the relationship where it was rocky and unclear had him confused and anxious for what’s to come.

He watches as you walk away with tiresome eyes and he misses the opportunity to at least check up on you or bare a hand on your shoulder to calm you down if you were still fueling with rage.

You turned to Atsumu just to bid goodbye. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Tsumu!” You said before unlocking the door and leaving their house. The blonde turns to his side to his brother’s lips turned into a pout with a downpour of an expression written in his eyebrows and eyes. The setter assumed his twin was the one who raised his voice but he looks as miserable as you.

“I’m gonna go to sleep.” Osamu says, stretching his arms, a slight scratch to his eyes as he enters the room and closes it immediately. Atsumu thinks if both of you were trying to repair what happened but maybe pride had gone to be the barrier this time. His finger stays on his chin, trying to find a way for this tense atmosphere to disappear.

Fuck isn’t it like your anniversary the next few days? But why should he meddle with it? It’s up to you two to fix up your own problems but all that’s left to do for him was at least comfort both of you. He should give it a rest, he knows Osamu can’t stand a few days without you so he just visualizes this tiny argument to quickly vanish.

He wasn’t one to be involved in your relationship, he might be close to you but he’s never really witnessed a tough argument between you and his brother. Now that he’s seen and heard it first hand, he didn’t realize the instinct that comes with it. He just feels an overall feeling of worry and a sort of mechanism to check up to hear the sides of the story. If it’s one thing that he knows that can take his brother down to his knees, it’s obviously you so if you were going to rock-bottom, it’s going to drag his twin in whatever he does. Still, he settles for the decision to leave it for a while. He trusts Osamu can patch up a slight mistake or even if it was his fault to begin with.

The morning welcomes him, still curious to why Osamu still has that dejected look on his expressions. He didn’t even call you in the night to converse a way out—Atsumu is put in a place of wanting to know what happened and at the same time, he wants to avoid it for the sake of a bad assumption.

The minute they step into school without you by their side, the suspicion kicks in. How serious was it to the point you didn’t even get your usual matching coffee’s with them? He removes the doubt in his head, maybe you were just late so he lets the thought sit in his head for a while but by the time lunch came in and you were still not present, he nudges his twin with the curiosity growing on him more and more.

“Where’s Y/N?” He asks, Suna only giving a slight glance to the blonde before returning to his own plate as Osamu shrugs. “Probably sleeping.” He responds, turning on his phone to see he was clear from any notifications leading his heart to race at the lack of any respond from you. It was worrying him to an extent but he sends a text to your way even if you weren’t going to see it, what matters to Osamu is at least his message got to you. Atsumu didn’t even try to peak over his shoulder just to read his brothers message but instead, he realizes how worse the situation has gotten.

At first, he was nearly reassured with the idea of Osamu coming to your side already but he observes how it came to be the opposite of what he expected. The trace of sadness that his brother keeps leaving felt like an endless road so with a sigh, Atsumu finalizes his decision.

Giving a pat of support to the grey haired twins’ shoulder, he spoke.

“You two will be okay.”

As practice rolled in, he huddles the rest of the team while his brother was off to his duty to gather the teams water.

“I need your help.” Atsumu began, crossing his arms to his chest while Suna spares him with a raised eyebrow, a towel in hand for his sweat. “What for?”

“Look, Samu and Y/N aren’t really on good terms.” He explains, spiking the interest of their team. Aran tilts his head at the arrival of the news. “Well, I do notice how Osamu kept frowning and she isn’t here either.” Akagi adds a witness to the setters statement.

“How are we sure he even needs our help?” Rintaro questions. “Osamu’s not even talking to her and vice versa. I haven’t seen him act like this, that’s all.” It’s true that it was a bit of a stretch to react like this but it genuinely brings him a downcast of his own to experience such a dull atmosphere whenever Osamu enters the room.

“It’s not our position to help a relationship that’s not ours but I understand where you’re coming from. If it helps, let’s just check up on Osamu first and let’s not bring him anymore trouble than he’s having.” Kita announces, the rest could only nod. Atsumu could feel a bit of relief mixed with regret. He probably shouldn’t have jumped to such conclusions since it’s only been two days but even he was surprised to feel this amount of care for a situation he wasn’t involved in the first place. Still, to see people go through a bad phase without lending a hand is a little selfish.

His brother enters the gym, an odd sensation where he could feel multiple pairs of eyes landing on him. “Weird.” He mutters before jogging to his spot for practice. Stood beside Suna, Atsumu hints by tilting his head directing to his bother reminding him of the discussion earlier.

“Sucks to be single.” Rin jokes, altering his voice in a way it doesn’t show how he wasn’t forced to admit something out of the ordinary. Aran tries not to stifle a laugh at the middle blockers poor attempt causing Osamu to turn his head, more than confused at this encounter.

The practice reigns on with an extremely bothered volleyball player. There were numerous times where a few phrases were given to him that seriously played tricks on his brain.

“What are you gonna do for your anniversary?” Atsumu asks when they were sent for breaks. Osamu’s thoughts were just incredibly scrambled. Firstly, he was somewhat surprised to hear his twin ask something that he cherished or at least a topic he assumed Atsumu wouldn’t remember. Lastly, it was just too random to come up with an answer that quick and proper. “I.. don’t know.”

In which his answer, doesn’t help the glance of his concerned brother.

Is he implying that’s the last bit of their relationship?

“Hey, Samu. I saw a newly opened flower shop downtown. I think Y/N would like that.” He suggest, no clue of the word bombs he just sent.

“Thanks, I guess?” he responded with a slight change in his voice at the level of uncertainty he was in. Nonetheless, he just walks away to come back to the meeting. Sitting on the floor, he realizes how tiring it was to keep guessing if they were really hinting how weird it that you were absent or were they pulling some sort of prank that involved you in it.

Kita announces a few more of their schedules for this week leaving an early practice set since it was Friday. Osamu stretches his arms, a yawn escaping his lips while he checks his phone. The rays of it instantly lighting up his features since it was a candid photo of you just standing in the kitchen when you helped him out with throws of flour on your face. He smiles as always but forgot that he only opened it just to check the time.

Atsumu has seen that lockscreen for months now. He’s used to the way his brother would react to it whenever it flashed the screen but tonight it doesn’t give the same effect to him somehow but still, he’s glad to see that Osamu still loves you just as much.

“You’re really luck to have her then.” Kita says, giving a pat to his shoulder with a timid smile ad he goes along, waving him goodbye while your boyfriend grows slightly flustered but pays no mind to the fact that their captain said.

I really am. Osamu thinks with a leap to his heart.

Atsumu just stares from afar while he sets his bag wondering the possible outcomes for tomorrow.

Saturday morning kicks in with the blonde out for a quick run leaving one twin heavily asleep. He wonders if he should bid you a visit to check up on you but he also realizes how it’s only 9am, you’re probably still catching some sleep from all the stress so he just skips your neighborhood and decides to run a few more laps before heading straight home.

“Finally.” Osamu whispers as the door whip opens with his twin brother’s jaw to the floor at the sight presented in front of him.

Your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around your waist, hugging you completely while his head rests on your stomach with your hands loosely trapped in his grey hair. You could only blink at the blonde’s dazed state as his eyes dart from you to his brother.

“Good morning, Tsumu.” You said with a smile while Osamu could only hum when he was busied with your comfort.

“You guys.. aren’t breaking up?” Atsumu perks up the question while the other twin cocks an eyebrow with a scowl. “Oi, what karma are you trying to pry on us?” he threatens.

“I heard you two fight like a day ago!” The setter argued while your hand abruptly stops to tilt your head in confusion since your memory was a bit juggled up.

“Fight?” Osamu asks, turning to you. Placing a finger to your chin, your mind travels to it’s moments from the day Atsumu was possibly pertaining to but a few seconds pass and you’ve recollected the mishap.

“Oh.” You said with a slight chuckle as the two boys turn to you. “Atsu, we weren’t fighting then. Samu wanted me to watch a horror movie with him to tease me.”

“Just leave then.” Your boyfriend exclaims resulting for you to release a scoff of disbelief while you reach for your bag but a second later, a pair of arms circle around you while your back was to his chest.

“Kidding, hun. Why don’t you take a day off tomorrow? I’ll take your paper if a teacher assigns us something. You go ahead and focus on what you need to do, I know there’s a quiz you’re gonna hate.” Osamu whispers, planting a kiss to the side of your hair making you sigh in relief.

“You sure with me being absent tomorrow? We can watch the movie if you stop by in the afternoon after training if you like.” You suggested but he shook his head. “I was joking about the movie, I just thought the trailer looked cool but c’mon—you matter more so get your ass out of here and sleep.” He says, a firm hand to the top of your head as you sighed.

“Okay okay. I’ll see you tomorrow or on Saturday. I love you, Samu.” You said, giving him one more kiss to the cheek while he blushes as you left the room.

“I thought you guys were gonna break up! Relationship er confusing.” Atsumu exclaims while you and your boyfriend chuckle. “Did you know that during practice Aran told me that relationships are like gifts—shit ‘Tsumu is that why everyone was acting weird yesterday?” Osamu says, a smile in his features at how everything was adding up.

“Well yeah. I’m sorry for looking at it that way.” He says, rubbing the back of his neck at the embarrassment. He should’ve known that the couple he tried to fix was a pair that was too invested in each other’s love to ever let it fall apart just like that.

“It’s fine. I think it’s actually cute how they got worried.” You said, assuring him off of a tiny mix up. Atsumu sighs in relief but still covered in shyness due to his (as expected) wrong assumption. He goes upstairs with little mutters of how dumb he was and how he should’ve done better while Osamu returns to his position beforehand.

“He even said how there was a new flower shop and how you’d like it.” You smile at the thought of Atsumu being generous and caring for the sake of your relationship. “Let’s go there later, is that okay?” he asks before you intertwined your fingers with his as you leaned your head on his shoulder followed by a yawn.

“You’re gonna buy me a bouquet for our little quarrel?” you teased making him chuckle.

“Of course,” Osamu says looking at you. As if he’d ever raise his voice to your or be the man to ever let you go—that’d be the decision in his life that would haunt him forever. His hands in yours will remain as long as he’s there because no other feeling can beat the way he feels whenever you love him this good.

“Gonna buy me the best bouquet for the best girl.”

[olderthannetfic]

I am dead serious. This did happen to me. People act like your should know their boundaries when they never said what their boundaries were.

--

LOL. Christ, nonnie.

Are you the one who's having trouble with being recognized? Because I have plenty of readers with RSD, but most of them wouldn't do this. I'm getting the sense I just have the one mega hostile ask sender.

If you aren't messing with me and this story is true you need a therapist badly.

I don't mean this in some stupid anti "lol, seek help" insulting sense: I mean that your judgement of where social norms is so vastly outside of most people's, even most nerdy weirdos', that you are not going to be socially successful without some serious work with a professional.

I can try to give you advice and explain things, but you are far too severe for some random blogger to help. I am not a professional. I don't know you. You need a pro who meets with you in person, probably weekly if not more. (Or, well, probably over zoom for now, but ideally in person if and when that's practical.)

Right now, you are a danger to people around you.

I don't say that lightly. But your own description of what happened is deeply concerning. Let's take another look at your ask:

If someone sends you an ask and it makes you uncomfortable do you tell the person it made you uncomfortable or do you just delete it leaving the person wondering why you didn’t answer. I had this happen to me I sent an ask about a character being abused because he’s so touch starved. Instead of telling me it made them uncomfortable they ignored my ask. So I kept pestering them asking where my ask was until they started yelling at me to leave them alone that the ask made them uncomfortable. I got mad and said “I am not clairvoyant how was I supposed to know abuse makes you uncomfortable you miserable bitch it’s call communication try it sometime you screeching hag” I know I shouldn’t have said that but they made me feel like shit and an asshole. How was I supposed to know they don’t want to talk about abuse.

Okay, so, to give you a real answer to this:

1. Send a max of 2 asks

The normal response to asks a person hates is to ignore it. People don't owe a response. If you send an ask and the person doesn't answer, you can send one more ask to check if they got the first ask. If they still don't answer, that means they don't want to answer, and you should leave them alone.

Social mores differ between groups, and different people have different tolerances for ask topics, but 'check in once and then leave them alone' is a pretty safe standard.

You can send another ask when you have a new topic that is different from the previous one or when you're engaged in a conversation with the blogger like you are with me now. If they're responding to you, it's okay to send more asks.

2. Common triggers

I cannot believe that I need to state this on my blog, but fine.

While individual people's triggers and squicks are idiosyncratic, there are certain topics that upset/bother/gross out many, many, many people: Rape, abuse, real life tragedy, bodily functions.

People routinely send me asks about weird kinks, but that's because they assume it's okay because my tumblr is already constantly full of stuff like that.

If you send a rando an ask about "Do you think character X is abuuuuuuused????" you are asking them to contemplate the idea of a character they like in tragic circumstances. This is upsetting and unpleasant to a lot of people, especially if they don't know you.

You're not clairvoyant?

For fuck sake, dude, "Abuse upsets people" does not require clairvoyance. This is a very common boundary that the vast majority of people have.

You should know this.

Not because it's some special fandom thing but because you are a person in the world. Even most people who are on the spectrum or otherwise neurodivergent would know this already.

If you don't know this, you should get a therapist and talk to them about basic, common, normal social boundaries.

You fucked up. Not the person you sent the ask to.

You.

3. What you say when you're mad says a lot

Some celebs are like "Oh, I was drunk! Oh, I was upset!" when they drunkenly call someone slurs. But we all know that most people can get very angry and blurt out things by accident without blurting out slurs. What thing is on the tip of your tongue says a lot.

In your case, you said: “I am not clairvoyant how was I supposed to know abuse makes you uncomfortable you miserable bitch it’s call communication try it sometime you screeching hag”

First, you put the blame on them when 100% of the blame is on you.

They did absolutely nothing wrong.

You have done many things wrong.

Second, you called them a "bitch" and a "screeching hag". These insults are sexist and ageist. They make it sound like either you hang out with sexist men in a part of fandom far from here or like you're a teenage anti who likes to insult older women. In either case, it suggests you have many other dangerous, bad values a person might wish to stay away from.

You sent an ask that was obviously something that might upset someone.

Then you hounded the person for attention you were not entitled to

Then you blew up at them in a bigoted manner.

And now, you have the temerity to blame them and think they were mean to you.

It is not this other person's job to communicate with you. Your friends do owe you some level of cooperative communication. People who have already agreed to interact with you owe you some level of collaboration. However, you have approached a rando and demanded that they do 100% of the work to communicate. They didn't owe you any communication, never mind 100% of the work.

4. No one cares if you feel bad

I know I shouldn’t have said that but they made me feel like shit and an asshole

First of all, you are an asshole.

You are a raging asshole who is a danger to the people around you and who will remain a danger until you get some fucking therapy.

Second, it doesn't matter. Random internet people don't care if you feel like shit and they have no reason to.

But more importantly:

You feeling bad =/= someone did something to you

This is an elementary and common nerd error. The mere fact that you experience harm doesn't mean someone else is responsible or owes you anything or can be called to task. They did nothing wrong. You're just having emotions. And that means those emotions are your problem.

You fucked up.

Find a therapist.

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠❞ ─ 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐡𝐚𝐦

after all this time, i start asking why i'm staying

were you ever mine?

are we something that's worth saving?

❥ content ; gn reader, eventual fluff, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; cursing, themes of cheating

❥ synopsis ; you're will's s/o. when he comes home from work, you can tell he's off. what you didn't expect was him to kick you out.

❥ a/n ; none!

"Will?"

You call out after hearing the front door to your house open and shut. When you don't get a response, you get up from your laying position on the couch and approach the front door.

There, Will stood. His back was turned to you as he hung up his coat, and although you could not see his face, you could immediately tell he was off. Even the energy around him felt dark and tense.

"Oh, hey, hun.." You said anxiously, trying not to set him off in any way.

Will didn't react to your voice. Instead, he backed away from the clothing rack and walked past you, not even bothering to spare you a look. This wasn't the first time Will acted out like this, especially considering he was exhausted all the time from the work Crawford gave him. But he would at least greet you soon as he walked through the door, not flat out treat you as if you didn't exist.

"Will," you sighed dejectedly, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. You quietly followed him upstairs to the master bedroom, where he began to strip off his work clothes, changing into something more comfortable. Still, he ignored your presence. You had to make another move.

You slowly approached him from behind, placing your hands on his shoulders. You were immediately taken back when he forcefully removed himself from your touch and walked away to another corner of the room.

"Will, I just-"

"What?" he scoffed mockingly, "You just want to help?"

"You're my boyfriend, Will, of course I want to!"

He laughed.

"It certainly doesn't help when you breathe down my neck every fucking minute."

Tears pricked in your eyes, Will's vicious tone scaring you. You searched Will's own eyes, trying to find any trace of remorse or regret. He had none. You didn't even know who you were looking at.

"What are you talking about, Will? When you want space, I give you space. When you want love, I give you love! What more do you want from me?"

"I want you to leave."

And then it was quiet for a moment. You both stood there silently, feet away from each other, eyes burning holes into the others.

"..What?" You stared in disbelief. "Wh- What are you saying right now, Will?"

"I want you to leave. I want you gone, Y/N. I don't need you anymore."

"No," you bit your quivering lips, hot tears spilling down your cheeks. Will averted his stare from your crying form, the floor suddenly becoming more interesting.

"No, you're lying. You're just saying that. You can fool everyone else, but you can't fool me."

"I'm sorry, Y/N." Lies. "It's best if you just leave."

You choked on a sob. "What?! Where is this coming from all of a sudden? We were okay just the other day!"

Will remained silent, still not daring to make eye contact with you.

"Is there someone else?"

"I- No, Y/N. I don't owe you an explanation."

"So this is it, then? You're just gonna kick me out?"

"Please, Y/N. Don't make this harder than it already is."

"This is hard for you?! You're not the one getting kicked out!"

Will sighed, somehow managing to remain calm while you screamed at him.

"I'm sorry." And the conversation ended there.

You began to pack your bags. You also phoned a friend, asking them if you could crash for a bit until you had a stable job and a home. You were not about to sleep on the sofa tonight.

You opened and slammed drawers, taking your anger out on furniture as you took your belongings with you. You also did it to spite Will, who attempted to get some sleep. But he did not complain. He continued to act as if you didn't exist.

It made you wonder. Where did it all go wrong? How long has he thought about leaving you? Was there another person?

Will wouldn't answer your questions. At this point, you didn't wanna know.

You were able to finish packing up within an hour. Will was still wide awake during that time, listening closely to the angry banging of furniture, quiet sniffles and shaky inhales as you tried the best you could to keep your composure.

You loaded all your bags into your car, getting ready to head to your friend's place. You went back inside to get a couple more things and look around the house a final time. You stopped by the front door as you were about to leave, your eyes landing on a picture on the windowsill of you and Will. Your already tired, red eyes welled with tears again. You opened up the frame, sliding the picture out and folding it into your pocket. Not like Will would want it in his house anyway.

And so you left.

You didn't say your goodbyes. You just left.

A week had gone by. Will carried on with his job as usual, attended his therapy sessions, but he never once mentioned you. Not a lot of people knew about you and Will's relationship, or what was once a relationship. Since his coworkers already knew so much, or what Will deemed to be enough information about him, he wanted to keep your relationship secret. Not that you minded.

The only person who knew of your relationship was Alana Bloom and Jack Crawford, but even when it ended, he didn't tell them anything. He didn't tell them how guilty he felt the night he kicked you out. He didn't tell them he still had nightmares about you being harmed. He didn't tell them how he was the one harming you in his nightmares. He didn't tell them how empty he felt when you blocked his number and social medias (ok sorry but like little headcanon here?? will has an instagram and it's just pictures of him fishing / or of his dogs fnsmdnskdjsk).

He never told them how he tried not to stay in his house as often, because it reminded him of you.

He was definitely acting strange at work. It was easy to tell. Even Bev pulled him aside to inquire about his health. But he continued to keep his mouth shut, until he couldn't.

Will rushed to the front door when he heard little taps on the metal screen. Secretly, he hoped it would be you. But when he opened it, there stood Alana Bloom. Will always thought Alana was beautiful. But how could anyone disagree?

Her long, dark waves that framed her perfect, slim face were never unchecked and unkempt. Makeup or none, preppy work uniforms or pajamas, she always seemed to look her best.

You even found yourself feeling small and insecure when Will invited her over for you to meet. But he assured you that she could never even compare to you. You believed it.

Alana's thin lips curled up into a soft smile. "Will. Can I come in?"

"Y-Yeah, sure." He let her in and she walked through the front door for the first time in forever.

"Jeez," she chuckled. "How long as it been?"

"Maybe too long," Will simply replied.

Alana walked around the house, scanning every detail while Will patiently trailed behind her. The dogs were playing outside, so it was just the two of them.

"Why did you decide to come over today?"

"I've been worried about you." She turned around to face Will, who stopped a few feet in front of her. "But now that I'm here in your house, I can see why you've been acting off."

"What's your diagnosis, Doctor?" Will joked, an attempt at lightening the tense air.

"Y/N. They left, haven't they?"

There it is.

Technically, Alana wasn't wrong. You did leave, but Will never clarified in what circumstance.

Will looked at the ground.

"Yeah.. Took all the photos too."

"Hey," Alana began, her finger resting under Will's chin, prompting him to look up at her. "You don't have to hide from me."

A week had gone by. A long, lonely, miserable week. You crashed at your friend's for two nights before your parents invited you to live with them while you worked on getting back on your feet. They didn't live too far, so you thanked your friend for their hospitality and moved in with your parents.

As you finished unpacking your stuff, you realized you were missing some things. You cursed at the realization you would probably have to pick up some stuff from Will's.

You still had the key, so you would have no problem getting in, unless he had the lock changed of course. You were only worried about running into him.

What the hell?

You got dressed. You didn't wear anything fancy, but in case you ran into Will, you felt obligated to look presentable and show him that you could still make it without him. You decided on doing a bit of makeup. Again, nothing fancy. Just enough to conceal the dark circles under your eyes and make your features pop.

And then you headed on the dreadful drive to Will's place.

When you got there, you were too nervous and too focused on making the trip quick to even notice Alana's car in his driveway.

However, what did catch your attention, were the many dogs Will owned. They ran up to you as soon as they recognized you. They panted as they jumped and wagged their tails, expressing their happiness the most they could. You tried your best to pet them all, your mouth lifting up into a smile. You didn't realize it but you really missed the dogs.

You dug around for the key in your pocket and pulled it out, quietly unlocking the front door and letting yourself in.

"You don't have the hide from me.."

Your eyebrows furrowed together at the sound of a female voice.

When you walked into the living room, you were horrified to see Will with another woman. Alana.

Their lips were locked, engaging in a passionate kiss, not even noticing your presence. You felt sick as you put the pieces together.

"Now I know why you kicked me out," you whispered, half to yourself and half to Will, who almost about pushed Alana off him at the sound of your voice.

Both their cheeks heated up in embarrassment when their eyes fell on you.

"Y/N! I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"Look, I only came to pick up some stuff. Then I'll be out of your way." You didn't once look away from Will, deciding to totally disregard Alana's presence and apologetic mutters.

With that, you rushed out of the living room and into your bedroom, searching under the bed and in the closet for your missing items.

You heard faint talking from the living room but tuned out most of it, deciding it wasn't worth your time or even your business in the first place. Then you heard the front door shut and a car start from outside.

Before you could process what might've happened, you heard Will's footsteps stop outside the bedroom.

"Y/N, we should talk."

"No, we shouldn't."

"You blocked my number."

"What good would it do if I kept it?"

"Please, hear me out."

Disgruntled, you turned to face Will, sending a cold glare his way.

"Look, unless you found a way to make a time machine and give me back the time I wasted on you, I don't want to speak with you."

"Why won't you just listen to me?!" he snapped.

You scoffed, "Well surprise, douchebag, I have feelings and you hurt them!"

"Well, I'm sorry, alright?" he calmed down now.

"Are you? Really?" You shook your head. "A sorry won't fix this, Will. Not after what you did. Gods- I can't even look at you right now."

You laughed. "You know what fucking sucks? After all you did, after the cheating and the lies, I'm still in love with you."

Will teared up. "I was never with Alana, Y/N. It's always been you."

"Then, why, Will? Why did you throw me out so coldly like that?"

"I began to have dreams, Y/N. Nightmares," Will admitted, his voice beginning to break. "Nightmares about people hurting you. Criminals. It was too real. As much as I loved- As much as I love you, I never wanted you to choose me. I don't want people using you as a weapon against me. To hurt me."

You slowly walked towards Will, stopping a foot away from him. You looked up into his glossy bambi eyes as he spoke.

"It was when the nightmares got worse, when I was the one hurting you, that I realized you weren't safe with me."

You cried. "Oh, Will. I wish you had told me."

"I couldn't. I didn't want you to remember me that way."

You laughed. "Well, I ended up remembering you as the asshole who kicked me out, instead."

Will managed to give you a smile through his tears.

He brought his hand to your shoulder, and gently lead it up your neck to the side of your face, cupping it lightly and brushing his thumb across your cheek.

"I would never hurt you, Y/N."

"I know. I know, Will. You aren't a monster for having nightmares you can't control." You brought your own hand up and placed it against Will's, leaning into his warm touch. "I'm still here. I'm alive. In your hands. And I feel safe with you."

Almost hesitantly, Will leaned in, connecting his lips to yours. His body felt tense, but when you kissed him back, you felt his worries disappear into the air.

He pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

"Stay with me tonight?"

[cheekygreenty]

Little Witch - Part 14

The Darkling x Reader

You felt fine after dinner, the food quickly replenishing your dwindled physique, but you didn't go back to work. You took Aleksander's advice and took the rest of the day to rest and take your mind off the countless tasks you had. There was one thing you needed to do though and that was thank Zoya for today.

She didn't have to do any of it, in fact, you believed she hated you from the minute you interrupted Aleksander's meeting. You were told by a servant she was out training Inferni's and so you made your way down to the Etherialki training grounds. She stood there, the image of a goddess. Her dark hair fell down her blue kefta in defined curls, collecting small snowflakes.

There was no indication she'd been involved in a deadly attack a mere 4 hours ago. Saints, I think I have a crush on Zoya. Nevertheless, you walked over to her, calling out her name to grab her attention.

'Deputy, how are you feeling?' She looked worried yet relieved to see you standing in front of her on both of your legs.

'Y/N will do Zoya.'

'Alright then'

'Thank you for today. I don't know what came over me.'

'We all have our moments. Some of us just hide them better' You couldn't tell whether that was a dig at you or not.

'You're an amazing soldier Zoya. I'm very impressed'

'Well I didn't just sleep my way to the top if that's what you're implying.' She turned her addicting gaze away from you, studying the young Infernis.

'I beg your pardon?' You were taken aback.

'How's your leg?' She tried to change the topic but you weren't ready to.

'What do you mean Zoya, spit it out.'

'You know what I mean Y/N.' Why was she avoiding the conversation if she brought it up in the first place?

'Are you and Gener-' Is this another thing he had lied to me about? You vaguely remember thinking the two had been involved when you seen them in the same room but it passed quickly, surely he would have told you, especially if it was with one of his most trusted Grisha? The thought was another painful blow to your gut. They just kept on coming. You couldn't finish your sentence for she already answered it.

'No.'

'Zoya'

'Not anymore... Alina is here now' The strong feisty woman was gone now, in her place was a hurt and rejected woman. You were old enough to see it, you had been her before, hell you were her now. You looked at her striking beauty, thought about her incredible skills, and then stupidly compared yourself to her. If he rejected her, you're next. Your silence must have comforted her more than words could, for she shrugged her shoulders and said

'He keeps saying she's his equal, the day to his night' His equal. That's what Alina said.

'You don't need anyone Zoya. I can promise you you'll amount to great things on your own.' Despite the hurt you felt, you focused on her.

'Well as of right now I'm stuck to skiff trips and when you request me' You eyed her inquisitively 'Our dear General's doings.' she admitted.

'What gave you such an honor' you teased.

'I got into a riff with the precious Sun-Summoner after she vexed me.' She shut her eyes tightly as if trying to forget the memory.

'She doesn't strike me as the vexing type-' Your conversation was quickly interrupted when an Inferni accidentally set alight more than just the mannequin and Zoya scrambled to put it out, scolding the boy in the process.

'I'll leave you to it then'

You walked away, hurt and on the verge of tears. You needed to speak to Aleksander, you were sick of him lying to you but you were even more tired of feeling that severe urge to cry every time you thought about him. You came here to do your job and to show everyone you had your powers under control, yet all you've done so far is the opposite. Saints be damned you would walk away from your position because of a complicated relationship, you were better than that. But you also recognized that if you confronted Aleksander about all of this, he would either have to tell you about his plans for Alina or lie again, and you knew he would lie. It was a vicious cycle, one that wouldn't end. It was heartbreaking knowing that the man who claimed to never stop loving you could lie to you so easily.

You were right to question your trust in him, he never gave you a reason not to.

***

He was sitting at his desk, back turned towards you. You hesitated, the thought of running out the door and locking yourself in your room sounding pretty attractive. Maybe a good cry will fix this.

'Y/N I thought I told you to rest' He spoke calmly, his hand never dropping the pen. You shut the doors, not wanting the guards outside to hear what you were about to say. This made him turn around.

'We need to talk'

He dropped the pen and paper and stood up, indicating he was all ears. You glued your eyes to his knowing your vulnerability peeked through but you didn't care to hide it.

'What are your plans for me, Aleksander?'

He cocked his head to the side, confused. 'What?'

'Why keep me around when Alina is here?'

You were never the jealous kind, but you came to realize this wasn't jealousy. It was disappointment and aching after being away from him for almost a century. You had built up this life in your head, one where everything was perfect and Aleksander hadn't changed but you raised the bar too high. The bad parts of Aleksander faded away with each year and the best parts of him enhanced in your mind. You had forgotten what he was truly like, plus coming to terms with the fact that he lived a seemingly happy life while you were gone stung a bit too. With each day, the disappointment turned into hurt and anger.

'Y/N I already told you, I have a plan.'

'So you expect me to watch you and Alina fawn over each other while I stay in the shadows being a dutiful Second in Command? I may be loyal but I'm not going to blindly follow along Aleksander, not anymore.' It's making me miserable.

His hands reached out for you but you moved away. 'You know I love you Y/N' He said as if the foolish statement would make your worries and anger melt away.

'Then act like it'

'It's not that simple.'

'It never is, is it?' You bitterly laughed. What's the point of loving somebody if you're not willing to do everything to make them stop hurting?

'Why won't you tell me?' Your voice was a whisper he barely registered. 'Do you not trust me? Cause I'll admit it right now, I may love you, but I don't trust you Aleksander.'

Your admission hit him like a pile of bricks. He was brought back to when you first met, your shaking body radiating hostility as you rode in the carriage with him. He tried to assure you you were safe, you were one of his Grisha now, but you were having none of it. You didn't trust anybody for months after you arrived in the Little Palace, especially him and right now, it was all back to square one.

'Have I really given you that many reasons to not trust me?' It had been so long since he had somebody to care for and love that he forgot how to act around you. Perhaps he was back to square one too.

'Yes. Your sly comments about killing the King and finding the stag, your relationship with Alina, even with Zoya- Aleksander you're lying to me every day and you think I'll still be compliant. I'm not the same Y/N you remember.'

'You know what I want Y/N. You've always known'

'I do, but I need to know how you're going to do it all. How can I be supportive when I don't know what the hell is going on around me. A goodnight kiss every now and then won't fix this if you're doing the same to somebody else'

'Is this what this is? Your way of saying I'm fucking my Sun-Summoner on the side?'

'I never said that. All I wanted to know was why I'm not in on the plan that's supposed to give us more power. Is it because I'm a loose cannon, are you scared of what I'll do if I won't agree with you?'

You were sure of one thing; while you were gone nobody dared to disagree with the Darkling and he had grown to get used to it. Power corrupts, resistance humbles.

Somehow you still held your composure, albeit it was difficult. Aleksander however, was losing his temperate demeanor. He was pacing the lengths of the room and his hand had brushed through his hair countless times, the image of someone who was backed into a corner they couldn't get out of.

'I haven't told you because I don't want you to get burned. If it goes wrong it would be good to have some of us not hanged for treason would it not?' Bullshit. He must've forgotten you had the power of a heartrenderer. Aleksander was lying right through his teeth.

'You and I both know that's not true. If history is any indication then they'll turn on all Grisha.'

'And you'll be here to make sure they don't.' He tried to reason but you let out a loud laugh.

'Up until 2 weeks ago you didn't even consider giving me my old post back, do you really expect me to believe you changed your strategy in a matter of days?'

He stayed silent and settled against his desk. His crossed arms showed he was in no mood to discuss any further but you weren't done. He was going to tell you everything whether he liked it or not. You were sick of being kept in the dark. You had your title of Deputy back now, yet you still had no idea what truly went on and had no real sway against the top-ranking Grisha who no doubt were in on the plans. Power corrupts, resistance humbles, and you were done being humbled.

'Aleksander don't make me force it out of you' As soon as the words left your mouth you tried to find some part of you that regretted them but came up empty-handed.

His head whipped around with whiplash speed. You could see the internal battle going on behind his eyes of whether you would actually make do on your threat. You didn't know whether it was empty or whether you actually would do it but it was tempting.

'You said you changed, but I don't think you did' He retorted, eyeing you up and down with a look of displeasure. The situation was a shift from the usual, this time he was the one losing control and spiraling whereas you were the perfect example of a calm before the storm. The Little Witch he had grown to love and worship.

'I'm stronger, I can be stronger. I am limitless' You prided yourself on the restraint you'd shown thus far. You were in a palace full of Grisha, of Healers, a Tailor, a Sun-Summoner yet you didn't make any moves to take anything. The old Y/N wouldn't hesitate to take what wasn't hers. Maybe that's why you would burn out, lose as you gained. This time you knew how to do it properly, how to be an Elemental who yielded it all.

'Your quench for power is contending mine, Sweet Y/N.' For the second time in your life, you saw fear in Aleksander's eyes. He always had a feeling you yearned to have a stronger grasp of the Second-Army and for so long, even now, you tried to lie to yourself and deny it. But deep down some voices always whispered 'it's only right to have a leader who represents them all'.

'Wrong. I already have it, I just need to use it.' You raised your hands slowly, showing him you meant what you said. I'm really doing this. Your heart dropped when his raised too. He's willing to hurt me to protect his lies.

'There's no going back from this' You felt weirdly ready. Although you had never used your Grisha powers against Aleksander in a fight, you had a hefty slice of hope in you that you could overpower him. You had what he had and more.

'Y/N stop this.'

'Why? So that you'll lie to me again? Make me the other woman? It's inevitable that it comes to this' Your heart picked up in speed as your breathing became rapid. The influx of power at your fingertips itched to get out and make itself useful and containing it was painful.

Shadows pooled on the ground and around your feet yet you didn't know who they belonged to. Technically they're all his, I just know how to control them.

Panic shot through you as you felt a tendril of the black nothingness grasp around your wrist. No. You let yourself go, snapping the shackle and mirroring it on him. He had never experienced cruelty at the hands of his own power until now and was completely powerless as the black restraints rendered him useless. You concentrated on his pulse, soothing it to its normal rate then into a slow hum, relaxing his mind. This all felt so wrong yet so right.

'I'm feeling merciful today. When you feel up to it, tell me everything, or else I promise I won't hesitate Aleksander. We're the same in that manner.'

You watched as he gathered himself, anger rising onto his face. His moves were rigid and stiff despite your previous soothing.

'Time is ticking' Before he could say another word, you left the defeated Darkling, instilled with a sudden sense of pride.

______

Part 15

Here's my masterlist where you can find previous parts of this series!

Taglist (Tell me if u want to be added to the Little Witch taglist!)

@theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @0-artemis @lostysworld @xceafh @fire-in-her-veinz @patdsinner33 @cleverzonkwombatsludge @wizardwheezes @aleksanderwh0r3 @tomhollandisabae @hotleaf-juice @justmesadgirl @exo-1204 @houseofdupree @oberonpascal @eireduchess

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙰𝚝𝚎𝚎𝚣 𝙿𝚛𝚘𝚏𝚒𝚕𝚎𝚜: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, promoting, encouraging, justifying nor romanticizing yandere behavior or lifestyle. This is all a work of fiction and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

Warnings: Mentions of toxic relationships, yandere behavior, bullying, harassment, blackmail, sexual scenes, abusive relationship, manipulation, verbal abuse, abortion, attempted murder.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐁𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜 𝐈𝐧𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧:

𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎: 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚐 𝚆𝚘𝚘𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚐

𝙳.𝙾.𝙱: 𝙽𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟸𝟼𝚝𝚑, 𝟷𝟿𝟿𝟿

𝙷𝚎𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝: 𝟷𝟽𝟹 𝙲𝙼/ 𝟻'𝟾 𝙵𝚝.

𝙰𝚐𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■■100%

𝙾𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: ■■■■□90%

𝙼𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚊𝚕 𝙸𝚗𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢: ■■■■□80%

𝙾𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝 𝙻𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚕: 𝙷𝚒𝚐𝚑

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝙲𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗: 𝚃𝚘𝚛𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚛

𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛𝚊𝚕 𝙰𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚜:

𝙰𝚋𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚔 𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏 𝚊𝚜 𝚊 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜/𝚘.

𝚃𝚑𝚛𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 .

𝚄𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚖𝚊𝚒𝚕 𝚊𝚜 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚜.

𝙳𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚓𝚎𝚌𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚢.

𝙽𝚘𝚝 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚗𝚏𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚑𝚢𝚜𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚒𝚗.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You had known him for the longest time, probably since you were both learning the alphabet.

Even back then he was a troublesome boy.

Loved to dip your hair in paint, pour glue inside your backpack.

Or always pushed you off the swings cause he wanted to play in it.

This didn't really faze you back then.

Most of the boys that age played such tricks on almost all the girls.

They all had a specific target and you were Wooyoung's.

You remember telling this one day to your mom, who simply chuckled.

"Honey, boys tend to tease the girls they have a crush on."

You remember looking at her with confusion.

How could they treat someone they like with such utter disrespect and rudeness?

"Because they don't know how to express their feelings."

Like an idiot you believed that, and being the naive little girl you were, you kinda started developing a crush on him.

You remember the first time you talked back to him, it's engraved in your head because it was the first time of many to come where his words, and actions, hurt you.

"Just admit you like me Wooyoung! You only tease me cause you're in love with me."

You remember the rage and disgust in his eyes as he shoved you to the ground, making you scrape your knee on the pavement.

"Get this through that dumb brain of yours Y/N....

No one will ever love a dirty little rat like you."

You came home crying that day. Hurt physically and emotionally at his words.

And the years to come weren't better, as you grew up, Wooyoung's bullying towards you escalated.

You hoped that after you graduated high school and started going to university, you'd be free from him, never see him again.

You could finally be happy for once in your life. Focus on your goals and career.

Everything was going great for you!.......

Until you walked into class and found out not only had Wooyoung been accepted to the same university...

He was majoring in the same field as you!

"Hey dirty little rat. Missed me?"

His cocky smile sent shivers down your spine, you were already fearing what he had in store for you.

If you thought high school was hell, it was nowhere near as awful as the torment Wooyoung was now putting on you.

Tripping you down the stairs to the point you had severe injuries.

Writing nasty and derogatory names on your desk that now wouldn't come off and you'd be forced to look at every time you went to class.

One time he went as far as stealing your assignments, ultimately leading to failing an entire semester.

You were so heartbroken and just done with his shit. You felt no more motivation to even continue studying.

Until a cute boy named Yeonjun transferred and took an interest in you.

He was super nice, friendly and not to mention good looking and hella tall.

It was more than obvious too that he wanted establish a relationship with you, anyone and everyone could see that.

Especially Wooyoung and he did not look the way someone else was making you happy.

So he devised a plan, not caring how messed up it was.

He made sure someone convinced you to go to a party he'd be at.

You found it odd that he was suddenly acting super nice to you, not even calling you those mild nicknames he called you in front of others.

And it shocked you even more when he suddenly apologized to you for everything he'd done to you, even offering to talk to your professor about your assignment.

His eyes seemed so sincere, you actually believed him.

Perhaps he finally decided to change, realized his behavior was unnecessary and immature and of course, like an idiot you accepted his apology.

You got wasted for the first time in your life that night and could not remember anything at all.

Until Wooyoung was 'kind' enough to brief you in on what happened.

He pulled out his phone and made you watch a video he had filmed of you two that night.

Your stomach hurled over as you realized it was a fucking sex tape, you and Wooyoung had actually fucked that night.

"What! No no! This couldn't have happened! There's no way!" You refused to believe it.

Wooyoung just smirked at you.

"Oh but it did happen kitten. You were so eager too as the video displays, you kept asking me to go harder, begging me for another round and wanting my cum all over you..."

"I wonder what would the whole school say if I posted it online....especially Yeonjun."

Now you realized what his game was. He was never sorry. It was just another form of him to torture you, and this tipped the scale.

You were so shaken up, you got down on your knees and begged him not to show anyone the video.

"Please Wooyoung! I'll do anything! Anything!"

"Anything?......really? How about becoming mine then?"

And now you were forever tied to your worst nightmare.

Wooyoung especially enjoyed seeing Yeonjun's disappointed and heartbroken look when he announced that you two were now dating.

Now he couldn't even look at you anymore, feeling somewhat betrayed by your actions.

You wanted to tell him you were sorry and explain to him what was going on, but Wooyoung had eyes on you 24/7.

He even made you move in with him and now even your free time had to be spent with him.

You hated living with him.

He not only made sure to verbally abuse you, but actually seemed to have fun causing tiny accidents to happen around you.

His favorite was when he'd peer over your shoulder as you tried to study.

He scoffed. "Why even bother if all you'll ever be good at is spreading your legs?"

Those were his favorite insults: "whore" "slut" "bitch".

One time you were just so fed up with him, that you ended up snapping back.

"Shut the fuck up Wooyoung! You're such an insufferable piece of shit, no wonder your mom left you and your dad back in middle school."

As soon as the words came out, you wanted to swallow them back in.

Wooyoung was livid at your words.

He not only yanked you up by your hair, but he actually threw you to the floor and started kicking you harshly.

He didn't kick you for too long though, he did not want to risk anyone questioning when he told them you fell down the stairs.

And especially not take you to the hospital.

You had no choice but to stay home as you tried to recuperate.

You remember one of those days, you came home from a quick trip to the convenience store and found some girl blowing Wooyoung on the couch.

You weren't fazed. He often brought girls home and fucked them right in front of you.

You just sighed and decided to ignore the shit eating grin he'd give you whenever you caught him.

You decided long ago it wasn't worth it.

You two weren't even dating cause you wanted to.

He just loved controlling you, having power over you, holding something over your head.

He had this obsessive need to make you miserable.

And you hated that you had no choice but to allow it.

Even when there were things you didn't want to do, you had to or he'd once again blackmail you.

The one time you adamantly refused to was when you found out you were pregnant.

Wooyoung was just as shocked as you.

"And you're telling me I'm the father?"

"Uh......I can't have sex with anyone who isn't you, obviously you're the father."

Wooyoung couldn't let you go through with the pregnancy.

"Get rid of it." He told you.

You wrapped a protective hand around your bump.

"No! This is my baby and I won't allow you to harm it!"

You weren't going to budge though.

"Show the tape to everyone! I don't give a fuck anymore! But I'm not killing an innocent child who has done nothing wrong. "

Realizing he was losing control of you, Wooyoung knocked you out unconscious, deciding to take matters into your own hands.

You woke up a day later, feeling sore and aching in your inner thighs and lower abdomen.

You immediately panicked and sensed something was wrong.

You didn't need Wooyoung to tell you, you knew he had taken you to a clinic and had the baby removed.

You were so shaken up, cried your eyes out and no longer had any will to fight against Wooyoung.

You felt like it all all your fault, the death of your baby was your fault.

You weren't strong enough to save it and it was killing you inside.

You no longer trusted anyone, and you didn't have the heart to talk about it to anyone. Not like they'd believe you or care about you.

But someone did notice, Yeonjun never stopped caring about you and although he was hurt you went with someone else, he still had feelings for you.

And he was very observant and noticed that ever since you started dating Wooyoung, you were skipping a lot of classes....

And you were having a lot of accidents...too many in fact.

And now he just saw you completely lost and like a walking dead.

"Hey Y/N, are you ok?" He asked you one day.

You were going to respond, but the devil made an appearance by your side.

"She's fine and was just coming home with me. Weren't you baby?"

To everyone, it looked like a sweet and caring smile from your doting boyfriend, but you knew it was all fake.

Nonetheless you just kept your head low and went home with him.

Yeonjun noticed the way you trembled when he put his arm around you, noticed the frightened look in your eyes and he knew something was wrong in your relationship.

When you got home, Wooyoung was pissed off at you and immediately struck your face.

"I thought I told you not to talk to him! Can't you obey a simple order you fucking bitch?!"

When he pulled out a knife from the kitchen, you were now scared for your life.

You tried to fight back, but Wooyoung was stronger than you and you were still in pain after the abortion.

He knocked you to the floor and managed to land 2 stab wounds into your right side.

You could never forget the wrath and hate in his eyes as he told you:

"I'm going to fucking kill you."

By some miracle, someone taller and stronger than Wooyoung got him off you, that someone being none other than Yeonjun.

He felt glad about following his hunch and followed you both back home, otherwise he'd end up reading about you in the newspaper.

He had no trouble in subduing Wooyoung and calling the police.

The only thing on his mind was getting you to the hospital as soon as possible.

"It's ok Y/N. You're going to be fine." He assured you

Your physical injuries were easy to recover from, but the emotional trauma and abuse Wooyoung put you through was not.

Yet Yeonjun was there every step of the way, going with you to therapy and just listening to you and your terrifying story.

For the first time in your life, you felt truly loved and happy....

And safe.

A year after the ordeal, you were doing much better and were nearly fully recuperated.

Yeonjun and you rented a place together and were completely in love with each other.

Everything seemed to be going perfect....

And then one day your phone rang.

Picking up, you asked "Hello?"

"Don't think it's over yet you dirty little rat."

[topsytervy]

Hello ~ Rafe Cameron

This is Part 2 to Goodbye cause I had the thought in my head and I didn't want to write it only for it to sit in my docs so you can read Goodbye (aka Part 1) here.

Blurb: A lot can change in five years.

Word Count: 3,677

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, smoking, cocaine, spelling/grammar mistakes, i think that's it.

Small note: I’m 19 and have never planned a wedding. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings as guests and my only experience with a wedding would have been when my sister got married, however, her in-laws are kind of assholes so her wedding was really lowkey and shit, like it took place in my sister backyard lowkey, cause her mother-in-law was like 'Im not paying for anything cause you guys wont last but I'll pay for your sisters weddings' so like I’m winging half of this shit if not most of it. I’m sorry.

~~~~~

It was 5 years later.

You were 21, along with the rest of the pogues, and able to legally drink and purchase alcohol. So no more hassle with a fake ID.

Nothing had changed except for college and jobs. You and JJ had broken up after two years of dating and, much to everyone's surprise, it was like nothing had ever happened between you two.

It was insanely easy to slip back into the friend zone with JJ, despite both of you thinking that it would be awkward. Both of you fell back into old habits fairly quickly. Sure there were the first couple of weeks where you two felt as if you had to force normality but after that, it was like nothing happened. Sure, JJ still called you princess and you still found yourself hiding into his side during scary movies, but those were habits you two had prior to dating, and old habits die hard.

The only other difference was that John B and Sarah were getting married.

They were planning on getting married at The Lodge at Bear River in fall which meant a ferry to the mainland and then an almost 8-hour road trip to the venue. 

You, Kie, and Wheezie were bridesmaids, Kie being maid of honor, and Pope, JJ, and much to John B's displeasure, Rafe were groomsmen, JJ being best man. 

You and Pope were walking together which left Rafe and his half-sister to walk together. 

Rafe looked at his sister and John B, trying to stay as unphased as possible. "Y/N's gonna be a part of the wedding party?" He asked, taking a drag from his cigarette from his spot by the pool. 

John B and Sarah were outside at the patio table with their wedding planner, going over guests and the wedding party. The three looked over at Rafe and Sarah nodded.

"Why wouldn't she?"

"No reason. If you need someone to walk with her, I'll do it." He told her as nonchalantly as possible. 

"She's walking with Pope." John B responded. Rafe made a face as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips and John B narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a problem?" Sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"No. No problem. It's your wedding."

John B rolled his eyes before turning back to the wedding planner. 

Rafe stood up and walked inside, flipping John B the bird as he walked by. He felt as if John B was put on this earth just to make him miserable at this point.

Rafe walked over to the bar and fixed himself a drink, Wheezie rolling her eyes from her spot on the couch in between Rose and Ward, who were currently scrolling through formal wear for the wedding. 

"Dad, Rafe's day drinking... again." The now eighteen-year-old piped up.

Rafe glared at her. "Just wait Wheezie. This will be you in a few years." He told his half-sister with a smirk.

Wheezie scrunched up her face in disgust at the sight of her brother holding his cigarette in one hand and drink in the other.

Rose, a glass of wine in her hand, rolled her eyes at her stepson as Ward, a gin and tonic in his hand, just sighed. "It's five o'clock somewhere, Wheezie." 

Rafe clinked his glass against his father’s as he made his way upstairs to his old room that he was temporarily staying in since his apartment building had taken some damage during the latest hurricane and was currently getting the necessary repairs done, and closed the door behind him. He sat down at his old desk chair and looked at the corkboard above the desk where a couple of polaroid pictures of you hung. The pictures were the first thing Rafe went looking for when he had gotten back to his apartment, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw the little lockbox he had stored the polaroids still in the closet and completely unscathed. Rafe downed his drink as he swiveled his chair back and forth. 

Of course, John B wouldn't pair you and him up. That would be helping a brother out. Rafe did everything he could to show that he changed once he heard you and JJ broke up.

 He quit cocaine and took up cigarettes instead. He went back to college and got a business degree. He was currently working and getting along with his father. He had his life together, mostly, and on track. The only thing missing from his life was you.

He had barely spent more than 5 minutes in a room with you since the breakup because you were either by JJ or you retreated as far from him as possible. He'd casually bring you up in conversation with John B and your friend would just roll his eyes. 

"We don't bring you up in conversations, Rafe." John B told him one day.

That cut the blue-eyed man deep.

Especially since this was after Rafe gave John B the money he needed to buy Sarah an engagement ring. 

Some wingman John B was.

Rafe stood up with a sigh and walked downstairs, deciding to bring the entire bottle of whiskey upstairs since he could already tell it was going to be one of those nights. He halted by the patio door though when he heard his sister and John B start talking.

“Would it be that bad to pair Rafe and Y/N up for the wedding? I highly doubt Wheezie wants to walk with him. At least Y/N won’t whine about it.” She asked as she placed a hand on his arm, the wedding planner nowhere in sight.

Rafe leaned against the wall, biting his lip as he waited for John B’s answer. If Rafe was being honest, he was kind of surprised that his sister would even consider asking John B that since she could care less about what Rafe wanted.

“Sarah, I love you but you did not see her that day or the day after or the following month and a half after that. Do you know how hard it was seeing Y/N like that? Heartbroken. Not wanting to get out of bed. Thinking she did the wrong thing and that caused him to go over the edge. Do you know how many times JJ, Pope, Kie and I caught her reading the obituaries to make sure Rafe’s name wasn’t in there?” John B looked at his fiancée. “I’m not pairing them up together without her permission. That’s that.”

“Then ask her.”

"What?" 

"Ask Y/N if she wants to walk with Rafe?" Sarah saw the 'are you kidding' look in John B's eyes. "I'm serious John B. Rafe's changed a lot and, despite what you think, you cannot keep her from talking or seeing my brother all your life."

"I can try." The curly-haired boy stated, crossing his arms.

"You know what, JB? You are acting like a damn child. It is not going to break Y/N/N if you ask her one small question that contains the name Rafe, okay? I'm sure she can hear his name and not break down or something. It's been long enough. Let him have that 5 minutes he needs to talk to her cause, yeah I do not doubt that Y/N took their breakup hard, but what about Rafe? Hmm? Believe it or not John B, but my brother has fucking feelings too, okay. He probably took that break up just as hard and Wheezie and I witnessed it. So stop acting like even whispering Rafe's name will break her and just fucking ask her if she wants to walk with Rafe or Pope."

"Fine. If it makes you and Rafe happy, I'll ask her." John B huffed.

Rafe didn't stay to hear the rest, just turned around and walked back to his room, the whiskey bottle long forgotten. 

****

Fall had come quickly and the wedding date came even faster. It was like Rafe blinked and then he was on the ferry two days before the wedding, sitting next to you, very awkwardly might I add, his leg bouncing up and down as he played with his fingers. It was like he didn't know what to do with his hands. After all these years, the most natural thing to do with one of his hands was still to place it on your thigh and the amount of willpower it took to not do that exact thing was unbelievable.

Rafe had told his dad that he was going to rent his own car because eight hours in a car with his family was a hard no for him. 

So there he was, walking over to the car he rented and opening the door before stopping and watching you get in a car with Pope, Kie, and JJ.

You glanced up just before you got in, making eye contact with him. You gave him a small smile to make it a little less awkward and Rafe returned the smile before hopping into the car. He watched you guys pull away and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh before putting the key into the ignition and starting the car. 

This was going to be the longest three days of his life.

***

He was happy for the long-ass drive of day one considering once everyone got to the hotel, there was a silent, collective decision to all just turn in for the night. 

Day two was a little less chill. After being awoken by a panicked banging on the door of his hotel room, Rafe got out of bed as quickly as he could and opened the door, only to be greeted by Sarah who roughly pushed past him into his room.

“Yeah. Come on in. Good morning to you too.” He deadpanned before shutting the door.

“What the hell am I doing, Rafe?” She asked out of the blue, causing a look of confusion to settle on his face.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” He stated.

He watched as Sarah sat on his bed and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a breath. “Is this too soon? Am I getting married too young? Like, I’m 21, Rafe. I should be out getting blackout drunk and having hookups and having regrets but instead, I’m doing the exact opposite.” She rambled.

“Okay. I see what’s happening now.” Rafe walked over and sat down next to Sarah. “Sarah, trust me when I say that marrying John B will not hurt any of that. I guarantee that you and John B will get blackout drunk together and call someone for a ride. I guarantee you will be having hookups, it’s just that all of them will be with John B. And you will have regrets. What those regrets are, I have no fucking clue but life is full of them. Trust me, I have a lot of regrets and I’m only 24.” Rafe told her. “But, I don’t think marrying John B is going to be one of your regrets. Canceling this wedding would be. After all, the venue does say no refunds.”

Sarah snorted slightly and Rafe bumped his shoulder against hers. “Believe me, Sarah, if anyone is ready to get married at this age, it’s you. You came down with a damn binder filled to the brim when you were like seven and placed it in front of me and dad on the coffee table and told dad to start making connections with everyone in that binder, right down to the dress designer.”

Sarah smiled before turning and wrapping her arms around Rafe. “Who would’ve thought you could give a pep talk. And liked John B.” She said.

Rafe slowly wrapped his arms around his younger sister. “Apparently you because you came to me. However, this does not mean I like John B. I am not going to start canceling shit just to have some one-on-one time with that curly-haired surfer dude. Okay? I simply tolerate him because he somehow makes you happy.”

After breakfast and lunch that he spent with Wheezie, last-minute plans when he walked to your room to ask you to lunch only to knock and have you answer the door which caused him to quickly abandon that plan and say “Whoops sorry. Room 202 for Wheeze,”, the rehearsal dinner came quickly. 

In all honesty, Rafe wasn't really paying attention to the dinner at all. How could he when you were right there, quite literally within his reach, laughing and smiling?

The actual wedding day itself was stressful leading up to the ceremony but after everyone got where they needed to be, it was smooth sailing. Rafe and Wheezie walked out after Kie and JJ. 

Rafe watched you walk down with Pope and couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt in his chest. He also couldn't help but imagine himself as the groom and you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him.

He quickly shook the thought from his head though, watching you take your place next to Wheezie before turning your attention towards the door to watch his dad and sister walkout. 

You glanced over at Rafe and smiled slightly when you saw him bring a hand up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. You turned your attention to John B before Rafe could look over and catch you staring.

You saw John B wipe his hands on his trousers as subtly as he could. You caught JJ's eyes and he shook his head, mouthing 'fucking whipped' to you.

You nodded and moved your eyes between Sarah and John B before settling them back on JJ. 'Obviously' you mouthed back before the pair of you stopped before someone caught you.

In all honesty, Sarah did and she saw Rafe catch the interaction as well, noticing him swallow hard.

The ceremony went smoothly with no objections -Rafe fought back the urge to object just to mess with everyone but he knew his entire family wouldn't appreciate the humor- and after pictures, everyone moved inside for the reception as the sun began to set.

Dinner and drinks were served, toasts were made -JJ had made sure to include a few of John B's stupid and most embarrassing moments, much to Rafe's pleasure-, and then the dancing began. 

Sarah and Ward had their father/daughter dance and then John B and Sarah had their first dance before everyone else was encouraged to join them on the dance floor.

Wheezie walked over to Rafe and Rafe looked at her. "I am not nearly drunk enough to get out on that floor and dance with you Wheezie."

Wheezie just rolled her eyes. "You have a shot right now to go ask Y/N to dance and no one will even notice you. Take it." Rafe ignored her. "Oh, okay. So you can sit there and stare but you don't have the balls to walk up to her and say 'wanna dance'?"

Rafe glared at his half-sister. "Watch your mouth, Wheezie."

Wheezie took one last glance at the dance floor and shrugged. "That's fine. Looks like someone else did."

Rafe had never scanned a crowd faster than he did right there and sure enough, there you were, a cousin of his with his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders, moving slowly around the dance floor.

"I'm going out for a smoke," Rafe muttered before getting up and making his way out of the building. 

He stood outside and brought out his pack of cigarettes, along with his lighter, and opened up the little carton. He withdrew a cigarette before closing the pack and shoving it back into his pocket, placing the cigarette between his lips. He heard the song from inside end before another one started back up as he flicked the spark wheel a couple of times, his thumb landing on the fork before a flame appeared.

He cupped his hand in front of the flame and brought the flame to the cigarette that rested between his lips, making a mental note to buy a new lighter since his was running out of juice.

Rafe heard the door open and close as he shoved the lighter back into his pocket and inhaled. He blew out the smoke before looking over to see who had joined him and was a little surprised to see you.

Of course, Rafe knew at some point you'd duck out of the party for some fresh air considering in social situations where they were tons of people, you needed to get away for a bit and recharge your social battery. He just didn't expect you to do that so soon.

You both stared out in front of you, not saying anything and Rafe brought the cigarette to his lips again, taking another drag.

"It's beautiful out here." You breathed out, trying to start some conversation.

Rafe nodded as he exhaled. "Yeah, it is."

"I wouldn't mind getting married here." You added absent-mindedly.

If Rafe had a drink right now, he would've choked at your words. He nodded nonetheless. "Yeah. It's a pretty nice place to get married."

You looked over at Rafe. "You gonna be okay over there, big guy?"

Rafe turned his head to look at you, confusion written all over his face. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you wipe a tear away, bub." Rafe's heart sped up at the nickname that you used to use on him. "When Sarah was walking down the aisle. You gonna be okay or should the same reaction be expected at Wheezie's wedding too?" You smiled as Rafe groaned, tilting his head to look at the almost pitch-black sky.

"Don't even mention Wheezie getting married. To me, she's still that annoying thirteen-year-old that was always eavesdropping and snooping through shit." 

"Awe, Rafe. You got a soft spot for your sisters now. That’s so sweet." You cooed, knowing that when he was 19, the only thing he did was complain about the two Cameron girls. "Seriously though, I think it's sweet that you walked with Wheezie and that you shed a tear today." You told him.

Rafe couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I wanted to walk with you but you told John B you'd rather walk with Pope."

Way to go, dumbass, he thought to himself.

"What are you talking about?" It was your turn to look confused.

Rafe sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette and letting the smoke pour past his lips as he spoke. "I offered to walk with you and John B said no. I overheard him and Sarah talking a bit later and Sarah told him that it wouldn't hurt to ask if you wanted to walk with me or not. And I think you know the rest."

He might as well fess up about it since his mouth and brain already decided to rat him out anyway.

You shook your head. "I don't know the rest because John B never asked me who I wanted to walk with nor did he ask if I wanted to walk with you."

Rafe looked over at you, his eyes locked on yours. He knew when you were lying and this was not one of those times.

He chuckled before shaking his head. "God. He's such a dick."

You ignored his comment about one of your best friends and walked closer to him. "You seriously wanted to walk with me?"

Rafe nodded, looking down at the ground. He was in way over his head, admitting that after half a decade he was still thinking about you and wanting to be with you. Even if it was for like a 20-second walk down an aisle.

You felt a blush grow on your cheeks as you looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers.

A beat passed before you spoke, keeping your head down. "If it makes you feel better… I would've said yes."

Rafe looked at you. "Yeah?"

You nodded and he took another drag from his cigarette.

"Can we start over?" He asked.

"What?" Your Y/E/C eyes lifted from the ground to meet his blue ones.

"Can we start over?"

You bit your lip. "Yeah. Sure."

Rafe cleared his throat before placing a small smile on his face and giving a little bow. "Hello. I'm Rafe."

You breathed out a laugh before giving Rafe a slight curtsy. "Hello, Rafe. I'm Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Rafe shook his head. "Oh no. The pleasure is all mine."

Your heads both turned to the building when the song changed once again to a slower song and Rafe took Wheezie's advice on seizing an opportunity. 

"You still like this song?" You nodded once more and Rafe put out his cigarette before extending his hand to you. "Would you like to dance?"

You smiled and took his hand. "Of course."

He placed his hands on your waist and yours looped around his neck, him starting to sway you two slightly.

"You look amazing by the way." Rafe complimented, taking in the lavender color of your bridesmaid dress.

"Thank you. You look rather dashing yourself." You took your hands from his neck and straightened his tie before returning them to where they previously were.

You moved closer to Rafe, resting your head on his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Rafe?" You mumbled towards the end of the song.

"Mhm?"

"I missed you." You admitted.

Rafe smiled before placing a kiss at the top of your head. "I missed you too, Y/N/N."

"Rafe?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you maybe wanna ride back to the ferry together? 8 hours is a long trip.  Especially when you're alone and I have to deal with JJ, Pope, and Kie." 

You heard Rafe’s heart speed up a bit before it calmed back down as he took a deep breath. 

"I would love that."

~~~~~~~