#where’s my gaviscon

[gelsomini]

there’s something about getting kebab on the way home after a tinder date

[midnightmoonday]

you come to me on the day when my tummy is literally so hurty

[drchucktingle]

POUNDED BY DR. GLOBUS

wanted to post today about recent health journey of chuck. ALL STARTED at texas show when i began to feel tightness in throat. i have learned this is called GLOBUS which is a tingler character name if ive ever heard one. got through appearance and had blast but felt terrible

plane journey home was even worse. first thought i strained my voice, then tested for covid (negative) and then figured it was just some kind of virus. had running nose and hoarse and extreme pain behind face and MOST of all this golf ball throat

figured i would get better as viruses tend to go but I DID NOT. after a few weeks went to way of urgent care and they took one look and said you have EXTREME FORM OF ACID REFLUX called laryngopharyngeal reflux (also great tingler character name)

basically this is when your stomach acid comes all the way back up into your throat and erodes it. they immediately put me on medications name of pepcid plus tums plus gaviscon and on and on. was inhaling a dang pharmacy every morning

problem is, NO CHANGE. in fact it started getting worse. in addition to previous symptoms i now couldnt keep any food down. upset stomach all the time. could barely sleep. plus it is scary to have a sickness that gets WORSE over time like this

more doctor talks. i up doses of medication to combat sickness but does not seem to work. one night wake up and think 'dang i need to go to er my stomach is going to just melt or something' (keep in mind because i cant keep food down i am always hungry too).

i go to hospital and they say 'WHOA we need to intervene right now we are doing some tests and putting you on SERIOUS LIFE CHANGING MEDICINE. but here is catch to do the tests we need you to stop all your medication for 48 hours and it will be HECK but you gotta do it bud'

so i stop all medication in preparation for new SICK LIFE and suddenly… i start feeling better. not just a little but after weeks of this awful way i wake up in ONE DAY and feel fully cured. now heres twist: at the same time this was happening I started taking allergy medicine

you may already know where i am going with so i will just hit you with it. my INITIAL SICKNESS was just extreme seasonal allergies that required nothing more than claritin and flonase. however i was misdiagnosed with ACID REFLUX and medication was making my stomach a wasteland

the second i stopped taking acid reflux meds and started on allergy trot i was better almost instantly. today i feel HECKIN GREAT. (SIDE NOTE: after 4 years of chronic pain i am so thankful to not have some OTHER long term health trot to deal with. DANG)

so what is lesson here? first of all please do not think this is in ANY WAY anti-doctor rant or anti-medicine. my doctors were trying their best and made a mistake, they are just people. ALSO while acid reflux medicine made me sick, allergy meds made me better. i am SO fortunate

but what is REALLY fortunate is that chuck is covered under SWEET BARBARAS HEALTH CARE (she gets very good coverage under the frozen lake). most artist buckaroos, even WILDLY successful ones, do not have health care which is huge issue that should be talked on more.

point is EVERYONE should have healthcare. this whole adventure was bad, but it also only cost me 50 dollars. hundreds of thousands of other buckaroos would have to deal with this PLUS it would completely upend their life to cover medical expenses because of a SIMPLE MISTAKE

so that is my story, usually there is more of a lesson to these rants but this one is really just ‘dang what a trip.’ so grateful for my health and my way and the fact i can get simple allergy medicine over the counter. most of all THANKFUL FOR MY BODY it is such a treat to exist

thank you for reading and remember to advocate for yourself and your feelings both BODY and MIND at the doctor. listen to your trot and do not forget that LOVING YOURSELF AND THE SYSTEMS OF YOUR BODY proves love just as much as loving others. trot on buckaroos

[juliusnovachrono]

where's my gaviscon when i need it goddamn

[kehaze]

Eleven weeks

April 15th was the last day of my last period. It's July 1st, I'm 11 weeks pregnant now. We've told absolutely everybody, because I figure two things:

If I'm superstitious and don't tell anyone, no one will be around to console me if something does go wrong.

If I give in to the superstition, the superstition wins. I want to share, I want to connect, I'm a classic oversharer.

I haven't had too many rough symptoms. I was low-key nauseated for weeks, but not to the point of throwing up. I had bad acid reflux week 9, but have been eating smaller meals and have a bottle of Gaviscon around, so have been ok since. I may have developed allergies, and have some annoying post-nasal drip that's keeping me coughing. I went about a week with no sleep but that was week 9-10, I seem to be sleeping great now as of a few days ago.

Fatigue has been the big one. The second month (weeks 4-8) was the most tiring, knock on wood but I feel pretty ok now.

I'm overweight, and know that I'm going to experience more severe back pain than I already do just by nature of being a bit overweight. Breathing will get uncomfortable as the baby takes up more space, I'm not looking forward to that.

2 days after I found out I was pregnant (2 days after my missed period), I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for something else, and told my GP I was pregnant. Thus kicked off the free maternity visits. I've had 2 so far, the initial one with my GP where he printed off loads of paperwork for me and sent off my information to CUMH, the maternity hospital here. I had my first scan June 18th, where they changed my EDD. Based on my last period, I'd be due January 20th, 2025. They changed the due date to January 26th, 2025. Not too big a jump, but they said the baby was small and wrote "IUGR" on one of my scan photos - something I know can be overdiagnosed, and hope I'm not suffering from. I should warn them I was born 5 and a half pounds, fully baked.

Looking forward to the rest of this pregnancy :)

[yamatossideboob]

One Piece 1112 Spoilers!

This week's estimations:

Big job for Yamato!! what will he do where will he go?!

"Emperor Straw Hat Luffy"... doesn't quite roll off the tongue but give it time

Nusjuro doesn't dillydally, bloody hell. the old man can swooce!

I hope Bonney keeps ahold of the Pacifista after all this, it would be SO cool. Robot Dad Army!!

FRANKY LEVELING NECKMAN, BETTER LATE THAN NEVER FUCK YEAH

BONNEY LEVELING CHINMAN, FUCK YEAH!!!!!!

covfefe too hot :(

I hate how cute York is... I detest social climbers

No hate to the letterer here, but I wish the yokai forme Elders had something a little different with their speech balloons and text. I feel like it should convey a monstrousness that you KNOW they sound like atm

Also... so Egghead CAN explode completely... what an interesting Chekhov's miniature pistol Oda has laid in a drawer...

I was talking with my OP bestie earlier, and if Lucci DOES face turn and rebel against the WG, then it'll be bc of Kaku, whether or not Stussy ends up dying by sacrifice. the yaoi fans must be salivating...

"But I love the guys you got!! Wherever miracles occur, that's the power behind 'em!!" YEAH!!!! YES!!! GUTS AND BEING BRAVE IS MIRACLE GROW ITS TRUE!!!

Edison calculating damage like a pro nuzlocker... hope he accounted for crits.

"THE SUCTION IS ENORMOUS" 🤐🤐🤐

I fucking love this so much. Get Tom & Jerryed, vile jackanape! you'll need some Gaviscon after that!!

I LOVE THIS EVEN MORE!!! THEY'RE FEEDING LUFFY THE STINKY FERMENTED FISH AND HE LOVES IT

I wonder what Sanji would make of Surströmming...

the Gorosei are something else... I wonder if advanced armament haki is a thing?

Nami, Usopp and Chopper about to meet Saturn... I'm betting this is where the Giant Robo steps in.

Okay so even giants are falling before the Gorosei... yeah they're right, time to fucking skedaddle lads

Glub blub... WHAT IS GLUB BLUB??? What is Mars beholding?!

Okay so its something aqueous... I'm guessing its Vegapunk's like, full brain, kept in a vat? thats somehow involved in that signal? maybe the transmission is a memory Stella stored in his own massive brain matter for such an event as this? or else its something else in the pickle jar... or someONE...

Thankfully next week brings answers! The last 3 weeks were a test of faith but I hope Oda used them well! Til next time nakama! 💪✖️

[cleetus42]

i have these three tiny pimples on my face. theyre forming this isosceles triangle shape, similar to the moles on my right hand. my parents used to tell me that the moles are signs that people care about you. each mole is a symbol of someone who holds you in their heart. pimples and moles are different so - i think the pimples are signs that people are worried for me. that theres 3 people at school - i may not even talk to them a lot - that are worried. that have wondered where i am, whether im okay. i find solace in things like these. i used to write them down in text documents on my laptop, rattle my brains and stuff. im not rattling anything anymore. i have time to talk and process. i like talking on here. at least now my thoughts arent so - idk hidden away on my laptop.

also that throat burning thing is so obviously acid reflux. last time i tried eating a banana and drinking those little sachet thingies. i'll get those gaviscon chewable mints. yeah. that'll help.

i have work soon but i dont feel particularly panicked.

i like knowing that when im at home im definitely not at school. like, my body is at home not outside, all thats left out there is my absence. yeah. absence. sometimes its nice. i always felt like i had to be at places. im realising that i dont necessarily have to do anything. its comforting. not being sucked into it all. reminding myself of free will.

i hope i miss her birthday.

[soumal]

x

[southfarthing]

.

[chocolatecoffeething]

Me: Exists

Gastritis:

[shadowphoenixrider]

At some point, I will need to chew some Gaviscon tablets in the vain attempt to find out if it will cure my nightly coughing fits.

I am NOT looking forward to it. The last time I ingested Gaviscon, it was in liquid form, and tasted akin to what I presume Satan’s ejaculate is like.

So I’m really hoping this cough isn’t acid reflux. But if it isn’t, I’m in considerable trouble.

[crockettmarcel]

girl why do I Still have heartburn from the curry I had last night. where the fuck is my gaviscon

[secret-rendezvous1d]

Blogmas having the miss announcing she is pregnant on christmas to P and H?

Hello, hi! 

Welcome to Blogmas 2020.

Many more blurbs, many more chats and a lot more festivities to come; my inbox will be open all through December this year for blurb prompts for Blogmas so don’t feel afraid to pop in a prompt to get written for tis year; all I can say is that if you’re asking for a lengthy prompt, I’m not the right person right now, haha.

I’m welcoming absolutely anything for this year; any AU, any characters, any ideas.

Reblog, like, comment and share your thoughts with me. Please let me know what you think because feedback is always appreciated on here; much more appreciated now given that I’ve not written a lot in a long while. Please let me know what you think.

Enjoy!

DECEMBER, 2022.

YN was no stranger to a positive pregnancy test.

If you told her six years ago that she’d be a mother to a little girl the following year, who was the spitting image of her father, then she’d have told you that you were taking the piss and that they were dreaming all kinds of madness. So, if you told her three days ago that she’d be a mother to a second baby, she’d have laughed in your face and told you to jog on because “one’s enough for me right now.”

Of course, she’d grown up wanting more than one child to teach life skills and nurture and mould into such a beautiful young thing who cared and loved like there was no such thing as tomorrow. She’d been an only child herself and found life to be rather… different. Especially to her friends in school who were children of many in their families. Of course, YN had cousins and she saw them whenever she wanted (moreso on festive holidays and family birthdays rather than her parents appearing on their doorstep for a cup of tea and an offer for the kids to play in the garden until dark) but it never amounted to the same feeling as seeing a sibling on a daily basis, after school or in the morning, someone to wind up and irritate out of love but someone to trust when something came up that she didn’t want her parents knowing.

So when Persephone was born, freshly cleaned and m minutes old and laying her father’s arms in the most pinkest blanket found in her hospital bag, YN deemed it necessary to silently promise to never let her experience a childhood alone. Not that she thought it was a bad thing to be an only child; heck, she was thankful she never had the bickering brother to deal with that only fought for those he loved or the snotty older sister who told her what to do and not to do with her life but loved her all the same. She felt envious of Harry when she was introduced to his older sister but soon felt that Gemma was an older sister of her own flesh and blood with how welcoming she’d been and seeing the brother-sister bond that Harry had, she found it was only necessary to let her own child have that exciting life growing up.

“You’re not eating much this morning,” Harry said softly, inhaling the smell of honey porridge before wrapping his lips around the spoon in his hand and swallowing the thick textured substance. Eyes focused on his wife as sat in her own world, stirring her tea in her china mug, an ashen look on her face - because morning sickness had been a bigger bitch to her the second time than the first time and she wasn’t expecting it to be as bad- as she hid behind a smile. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Yeah, I think I’m a little stressed out. I have too much to do this coming week and too little time to do it and I feel so rushed,” she murmured, setting her teaspoon upon the plate that did hold her dry toast before Harry came and joined her for breakfast, fingers curling around the handle of her mug. “I might have to cancel lunch with your mum this afternoon. I need to start wrapping, decorating, planning Christmas day, getting the food in.”

“You’re looking a little sick, I’m sure she won’t mind if you want to cancel.”

“She was so excited though.”

“She’d feel even better if you took some time out for yourself and felt better. Besides, she’s coming next week with Gem and Michal for Christmas dinner so she’s got that to look forward to,” Harry said, plunging his spoon into his porridge before taking another bite and swallowing it, honey sticking to his pink lips, “what can I do to make you feel less stressed? Give me something to do.”

“You could go and pick Seff’s main present up from that toy shop on Oxford Street for me. I got an email saying it arrived yesterday morning so we just need to go and get it. I can wrap the last of her presents up whilst you’re gone and hide yours somewhere where you don’t go snooping,” she stated, cocking an eyebrow up on her browline and staring at him over the rim of her white mug, “like you did last year.”

“In my defence, you did ask me to go and get a pair of knickers from your drawer after your bath.”

Harry had always been one to go snooping when it came to gifts. Anne had told her that the first Christmas she spent with Harry during a conversation that spiked up when YN pulled Anne aside to ask her for tips on what to get him, whether he'd asked for anything specific and whether he was allergic to anything specific that would give her gift idea away if she asked him. And it stuck in the back of her mind every year.

Although, in his defense, he didn’t necessarily go snooping through her underwear drawer to find what she had brought for him, given the fact that she had a brainfart and had forgotten where she hid his most expensive gift for that year; a six-hundred pound watch that she’d seen him eyeing up in the shop window of Gucci every time they wandered passed. She knew he’d reach into the drawer, grab his favourite pair (that she always placed at the front of her pants) and chuck them into the bathroom with a joke that hinted to a little bedroom action when Persephone was in bed.

“You didn’t have to get a pair from the back end of my drawer. Since when do you reach for my period pants when I put all my nice, lacy ones at the front?” She huffed, rolling her eyes as she took a sip of the warm tea and felt it slide down her sore throat, goosebumps rising on her skin because there was a sense of warmth yet a sense of burning; acid reflux had become a bitch, too, and she was looking forward to sending him to the supermarket pharmacy, late at night, to grab a bottle of Gaviscon and heartburn tablets. “Plus, it was in a box with my name on it, sellotaped up on both ends, and put left in the box it came in. You had to open the box to find out what was inside the other box.”

“It fell out?” He shrugged sheepishly and sent her a cheeky smile. Tight-lipped, regardless of how sticky his lips were, and showing off his dimples in the middle of his cheeks. But YN was having none of it and she made sure her face told him that, her fingers tapping her mug. “Okay, fine. Curiosity got the better of me when I found it and I peeked. I promise I won’t this time though. The silent treatment you gave me on Christmas day was horrible.”

“You deserved it. I was excited to surprise you with it and you ruined it.”

“I know.”

The kitchen fell into a comfortable silence and all they could hear, coming from upstairs, was the bathroom tap running as Persephone brushed her teeth and got herself ready before school. Her uniform folded up and placed on her desk, like every morning, right next to the hairbrush that YN used to tie her hair into whatever kind of hairstyle she fancied for the day; today, it was plaits… thankfully, because YN really didn’t want to go through the hassle of doing space buns again.  Her school bag and her lunch box were hanging  off the back of the chair at the head of the table, homework left in her red folder on the table so she could double check her name was written on it before slotting it into her bag, shiny black shoes with a buckle left in the living room where she’d kicked them off yesterday. Coat hanging on the hook in the entryway, where she could reach for it on her way out before clambering into Harry’s Range Rover so he could drive her to school; her favourite mode of transport, she made sure to tell him every night.

“Can you get it by lunchtime today? So I can wrap it before she comes home from school. Otherwise she’ll see it and want it as soon as possible and this is probably the best one of the lot. And we know she follows in her father’s footsteps,” YN smirked, nudging her toe into his shin, “aren’t I right?”

“Like father, like daughter.”

*

The problem with wrapping presents was the backache.

Chronic backache experienced after an hour of being hunched over on the living room floor, sat cross-legged and leaning against the sofa, surrounded by rolled up balls of sellotape that got stuck to itself and useless pieces of wrapping paper that had no purpose on a present because it was too small or too wonkily cut. Bags upon bags full of Christmas presents, all named for family and friends, that she needed Harry to deliver before Christmas eve.

By the time she’d reached the bottom step, after her fourth trip up the stairs to take the newly wrapped presents into her office (locked to save the wandering eyes and the curious toes of her little girl finding them in the corner of her home-office), her husband had arrived home with an excitable Persephone and a guilty look upon his face as he shrugged his coat off and unwrapped his scarf from around his neck. His nose pink, Persephone’s cheeks red, but both their jumpers decorated with crumbs from what she could only imagine came from a cake in their favourite local bakery down the road.

“Mummy! Mummy, daddy took me for a cake afterschool today. I had a chocolate one with sprinkles and a flake and it tasted like an orange and-”

Harry’s eyes widened and he looked to his wife, who had a knowing grin on her face, and he knew he’d been busted from the moment he walked through the door.

“Seff, you promised me you weren’t going to blab to mummy. That was our secret, little lady,” he chuckled softly, cupping the back of her head with his palm, fingertips cold against her scalp, “mummy wasn’t supposed to know.”

“But it was really good and I wanted to tell mummy about it because she can get one when she goes out shopping with auntie Gem and they can taste it and tell me it was yummy,” Persephone grinned, the gap between her two front teeth starting to fill in with a brand-new adult tooth, all pearly white and jagged, “mummy can buy me another one and herself one and auntie Gem one and we can share them together.”

“Did you bring me anything back?”

Her gloved hands dug around her school bag, school shoes long forgotten by the front door and kicked off haphazardly, her scarf hanging round her shoulders and her hand tucked into Harry’s fist because, YN could only guess, she didn’t want to mess up the plaits still perfectly done up. A rustle of wrapping coming from the flat of her pocket, bringing out a carefully wrapped gingerbread man with a purple ribbon tying it together at the top, a bobble stuck to the top as some kind of festive decoration.

“I brought you a gingerbread man, mummy! With the money Nana gave me in my Christmas card,” she thrust her hand towards her mother and passed it to her; YN was sure the money her own mother had given to her was for something she could use herself but she was thankful, of course, entirely grateful that she’d chosen to share her money to get her something.

“Thank you, baby. We’ll share it for pudding after dinner later, yeah? With some strawberries.”

“Yeah and some chocolate sauce!”

And with that, she ran off into the living room and found a comfy space on the sofa to watch whatever YN had left on the television, leaving her mother and father to tidy the mess left behind in the entryway.

“Maybe a little sauce,” YN said as she reached for the coat on the floor, hanging it on the hook beneath her’s and Harry’s, hanging her scarf over the top and leaving her gloves on the radiator to warm up, “you’ve had some chocolate already today.”

Harry grinned and pressed a kiss to his wife’s forehead, squeezing her arm before sneaking passed her and into the living room, bending over the sofa to look at his daughter from an upside-down position, “come on you, let’s go do your homework at the table.”

“Actually,” YN blurted suddenly, standing in the archway before them, smiling softly at them as they looked at her, “before you do that, can I tell you something? Well, not tell you something. Show you something. I want to give you both an early Christmas present, I guess.”

Persephone perked up and pushed herself to her knees, an excitable grin on her already excitable face as she looked between her mum and dad, a confused look spread across Harry’s features.

“What is it?”

YN disappeared for a second, footsteps heard going up the stairs and a creak heard from a bedroom being opened - and if Harry was right then it was the spare room, because he’d promised to fix the squeaking door but had yet to get round to it, where nowhere really went into because it was empty and desolate and had no decor in it yet. There was a sound of some rustling, faint but still audible if you listened closely, the creak heard again before footsteps were heard descending the stairs, a deep breath escaping her mouth before she turned the corner. A white box tucked under her arm.

“Mummy, what’s in the box?”

“I’ll let daddy open it but sit together to open it because it’s for the both of you and I can’t wait till next week to give it to you,” she stepped across the carpet and passed it over, letting him get a good feel of how heavy it was before he sauntered around the sofa and sat on the sofa beside his daughter. Her hand coming across to touch and stroke the white box, looking at it with furrowed eyebrows, waiting for her father to open the flaps and pull whatever was inside out for them to look at.

Harry’s fingers timidly opened the box, sellotape coming undone as he pulled the contents out and set them upon the top; a white babygrow, a white hat and matching mittens and a sonogram of the ultrasound she had during her doctor’s visit. Biting her bottom lip, she couldn’t help but feel the pit of her stomach drop; unexpected or not, they were expecting a baby and she couldn’t have been more excited - she just hoped his silence meant he felt the same.

“So, what do you think?”

A gasp left his mouth.

“What- does this explain why you’ve been so ill?” He stood to his feet and left the contents behind, stepping around the sofa to grab her into a hug and squeeze her against his chest. The sting of happy tears burning the corners of his eyes as he twirled the both of them around. “God, I had a hunch in the back of my head that you were pregnant but I didn’t want to say anything in case it wasn’t. Christ, you think I haven’t heard you vomiting in the bathroom in the mornings before I wake up? Not eating your usual breakfast? All the same mannerisms from the first one?”

He set YN back on the floor and cupped his forehead with his hand.

“I found out this week, Monday evening actually. I wanted to wait till Christmas day to surprise you but I was too excited and it was killing me keeping it from you. I wanted to come back and shout it at you on Monday but- well, surprise.”

“Daddy, what is it?”

They both looked at Persephone and saw her holding the black and white photograph; a scene they hadn’t ever imagined but never wanted to take for granted. Bracing his weight on his elbows, he leant on the back of the sofa and took the picture from her hands, using his pointer finger to show her just what they were so excited about. His eyes scanned the photo before he found what he was looking for, turning it back to Persephone so he could show her the right place.

“You see that little white blob there? Right here,” he spoke softly, pointing to the middle of the sonogram, waiting for her to nod before carrying on “that’s going to be your new baby brother or sister, little lady.”

Her eyes widened and she looked at him.

“Where are you getting them from? Will they be here for Christmas? Can I come with you to pick one?”

Harry chuckled and looked over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of a tear dribbling down YN’s cheek, his own eyes threatening to flood.

“They’re in mummy’s belly right now. A little tiny dot, no bigger than your fingernail. That’ll grow, just like you did, in mummy’s belly until they’re nice and ready to come out and join us next year.”

“Why next year?”

At this point, YN had taken the space next to her husband, standing straight. She reached for her daughter’s hand, bringing it beneath her jumper and placing it on her bare tummy.

“Because they need to grow nice and strong in mummy’s belly before they can come and meet us,” YN smiled, squeezing her hand as they kept their joined hands underneath her bellybutton, “just like you did. That’s where you started, where you came from, until you came and joined us here. Growing and blossoming until they’re ready to come and see us.”

“Like a flower?”

“Yeah,” YN grinned at Harry, his arm resting over her shoulder as he pulled her into his side, squeezing her tightly to his body, “like the most delicate flower in the world. They need the space and time to grow big and strong in my belly, nice and healthy so they can come out and be a part of our family when they’re ready, and be your little brother or sister.”

“That’s great news, huh, little lady? You’re going to be a big sister.”

“The best big sister ever.” 

[theunapologeticallygaypirate]

Weekly roundup of the ableist remarks my mom has come up with this week:

-more interested in my low fodmap diet making me lose weight than feel well.

-told me that in order to 'cure' my IBS and Asthma, I need to lose 100lbs

-when I tried to explain that ice water hurts my stomach, she laughed at me

-i took gaviscon while visiting her, and it made my tongue tingle. I asked her if it was supposed to do that, and she immediately jumped to the conclusion that a high fodmap food was the culprit. When I tried to calmly explain that fodmap ≠ allergies, she got mad at me and insisted that she did in fact know the difference.

It's one of those times where I'm really glad I don't live with my mother.

[the-almighty-gob-john-langley]

Sleep, Glorious Sleep, and Another Birthday Passes By In Total Silence - Like It Never Happened. Thursday, February 10th, 2022. 5.51pm.

Yesterday, was hell due to severe trapped wind that no matter how many Gaviscon tablets I chewed nothing at all would shift it and I was concerned that yet again it would be another sleepless night. However, YES, I actually managed a decent night's sleep at last. After two days of stupid o'clock shut-eye, I enabled a perfect sleep and total mind switch-off thanks to finding additional medication in my meds cupboard which sent me off without a single thought to interrupt it.

Possibly the highlight of today was some random person interrupting my Nero hot chocolate quiet time by stopping to ask if I had a spare cigarette while also asking if I was a 'satanist.' Mentally it brought about the thought of asking in reply if he was a complete knob. However, politeness and good manners prevented me from doing so, as tempting as it was. He then hung around like a bad smell for no apparent reason at all while enjoying the roll-up someone at another table gave him.

Just the feeling of having him in my proximity after asking such a crass question would have been enough to further reply by telling him I like nothing better than wrapping a baby in clingfilm and popping it in boiling water as a means of sacrifice to Satan, like one of those boil in the bag ready meals. As zen as I may be, and otherwise very calm and rational about everything, there is still a small part of me that believes stupid people should be instantly terminated to save the rest of us from them, and a stark reminder that my zen still isn't all it should be and is a constant piece of work in progress - always somehow being in conflict with myself for the greater good. Do any of us when we've got home after a day's work sit for a few moments and give thought to the number of stupid people we've had to deal with in the space of a day? Like in reality how many are among us? If you recorded it by making a note on your mobile for every one of them you'd have quite a list by the end of the day.

I had pretty much the same issue the day before yesterday on Disgracebook, that other piece of anti-social media where all possible brainpower seems to run like diarrohea. Where people empty their brain bowels like it's the last shit they'll ever have before taking their final breath and they want to enjoy every groaning minute of it that would pour out with a stench and justifiably prove beyond all shadow of a doubt how polluted their minds are absolutely full of shit and that they're collectively worse than a pandemic of Ebola on an African nation. People who are so stupid that by comparison, even a slug would qualify for a Ph.D. in molecular biochemistry next to them. People I would happily take into a moonlit forest in the early hours of a misty morning and disembowel with an industrial drill piece and a set of dental extraction tools.

Self-identifying, self-labelling, self-important, them, their, they, she, her, pronoun-fetishising, attention-seeking wankers who feel the need to peacock themselves because it's the latest cool and trendy bandwagon to jump on. Please, just wind your fckn egos in, you bunch of screaming 'me-me's! I don't care if you're black, brown, white, purple with green polka dots, gay, straight, pan, bi, trans, or whatever the hell you are, or want to be - all power to you, and live your life exercising all the free-will and choice you want. I don't give a damn. Just stop with all the politicising bullshit and making out you're something special like a zoological find just discovered that requires kid gloves, and being wrapped in cotton wool like a protected species. You're not! Getting back to basics you are a human being, male or female just like everyone else, and everything else is a label.

However, because I'm a realist and honest in my viewpoint then this is conflated out of all proportion to me "hating" people because they simply cannot handle someone having a different viewpoint outside of the bubble they live in. I have no hate for anyone because it isn't in my being to do so. J.K, Rowling has been there herself for having a different viewpoint, and now it seems Adele is the latest to be attacked.

Trust me, I'm no fan of Adele, and as far as I'm concerned if the government really wants to stop migrants crossing the Channel all they have to do is blast an Adele album at full volume from the Kent coast facing France and migrants will be turning their boats around in droves back to where they came from in double time. With that aside, I totally defend her acceptance speech at the Brit awards, in which she said "I know the name of this award has changed, but I'm glad to be a woman!" Which has kicked all kinds of politicised trolls about her being a "terf" - trans-exclusionary radical feminist. For a start, who actually are these people that seemingly have the time in the day to make up such terms, and why have they nothing else better to do!

Best still is that these trolls aren't actually coming from the trans community, by all accounts. No, because in truth the trans community couldn't give a shit. I've over 50 trans contacts on my phone list of friends and not one of them could care less because they have more important things to consider in their day-to-day life and they mean Adele no ill-will at all. Why would they?

Feminist and childbirth author Milli Hill, who has faced backlash for her own comments on the trans community in the past, has said: “Hopefully anyone who had any doubt that we are in the grip of a harmful ideology will have their eyes fully opened by seeing how controversial it has become for a woman to say, 'I love being a woman’”.

How the hell have we got to the stage where a woman, any woman, who says she enjoys being a woman is somehow attacking the trans community? I'll tell you exactly why - because it's always those on the fringes or outside of a community who for political reasons, or feel that they somehow have self-imposed right to speak for others who don't necessarily want their intervention or opinions that cause the problems where there aren't any in the first place. These are people who seek problems that don't exist and then create them so they can feel better about themselves for doing so.

Anyway, how's your day been?

Just saying.

[lilyp-and-me]

Where to start? Pregnancy..

It seems like a lifetime ago now Lily is here with us. I know a lot of ladies who say their pregnancy dragged, mine seemed to go fairly quick.

The pregnancy was a surprise-ish, but the most amazing surprise-ish ever. Jai and I were meant to be booking tickets to visit my family in Houston for the following May on the day we found out I was pregnant, good job I did a test before we booked the tickets really as we had decided to go for the non-refundable option! I was lucky as my pregnancy was fairly straight forward, that doesn’t mean to say I didn’t spend every day worrying about my unborn baby and the changes my body was going through.

Being a woman, and someone who has always wanted children, you have an idea in your head of how you think it will be to be pregnant. Well, let me tell you throw those ideas out the window. Say GOODBYE  to them. Nobody can prepare you for the sheer amount of emotions, changes to you body (and wind) you experience. It’s mind blowing. And then there is the worry.. here are just a few worries I had personally:

“Will I be a good Mum? Am I eating enough for the baby? Or in later trimesters, am I eating too much? Where is my bump? It’s not a perfect round size like other bumps, that makes me feel sad. Is she kicking enough?  Why can’t I feel my hands anymore when I wake up?  And oh I forgot to get Gaviscon from the supermarket, suffering awaits me this evening.”

I think the biggest worry was feeling her kick. Although the NHS doesn’t advise to count kicks any more, they do advise babies should have a pattern. But as every baby is unique, they can’t state what the pattern should be. It is something you figure out over time for yourself. We had a couple of episodes of reduced movements, which we got checked out each time - turns out she was just having a snooze each time and as soon as the midwives listened in, she made herself known. But of course the very worst scenario runs through your mind. Turns out I had an anterior placenta too (basically in front of baby rather than behind) so her kicks weren’t as strong. She makes up for it now by boldly kicking me in the tummy every time she is laid facing me. Anybody who knows me well enough will tell you I am a natural born worrier. I can’t really pinpoint when the worrying began in my life, but as long as I can remember if there wasn’t something to worry about you can be sure I would find something to worry about. As stupid as it sounds, I spent a lot of my pregnancy worrying about being worried - I’d be Little Miss Anxious if I was a Mr Men character I swear. Never have I known such worry and as my lovely Mum wisely said, “it only gets worse once the baby is here!”. She was right (N.B she is right about 99.9% of the things). But amongst all the worry I was so ridiculously excited to meet my baby. I don’t know if any other Mums/Dads experienced this but I could never envision her face whilst pregnant, I tried to a few times. My mind would often wander to my unborn baby whilst tackling floods of emails at work. But then when I first laid eyes on her she looked exactly how I imagined her to be. It was such a strange feeling, but honestly the best moment of my life. The elation and love I felt when she was placed on me is too much to put into words. Also, new baby smell should be bottled.

So there is worry, and then there are changes to your body. One of my bosses at work described it as, “you are now a host”, which immediately made me think of the film Alien. Thanks Tina! Ha. But yes, it really is quite incredible what the female bod is capable of. For me, other than childbirth (blog post on this to follow soon), I think the most surreal/painful/odd symptom of pregnancy was burning nips. Yes, burning nipples. I remember the first time I experienced it vividly, popped into Morrison’s to pick up a few bits and I think I was around 20ish weeks pregnant. I made my way to the milk aisle and BAM my nips literally felt like they were on fire. It was like a white hot flame was being held right next to them. I immediately stopped in my tracks and threw my arms over them to try and ease it, I got a funny look from an older gent - if only you’d have known sir. And then they went icy cold, but they were still burning. I almost cried at the sensation as it was so overwhelming. I was wearing about three layers of clothing yet the cold chill from the refrigerators hit my nips like a bird flying into window at full speed. Hard and fast. I didn’t risk the freezer aisle. My midwife chuckled quite a bit at my next check up when I asked her, “oh yeah one last thing, why are my nipples burning when I go outside in the cold or near refrigerator units in shops?”. She explained it was perfectly normal and looked very amused at my perplexed face. No high school biology lesson on pregnancy prepared 28 year old Sarah for burning nips whilst picking up 2 pints of milk at Morrison’s. Overall besides those few panicky episodes, the UNRELENTING heartburn, the inability to eat a full meal until I was around 15 weeks pregnant due to nausea and the general aches and pains of carrying a human for 9 months my pregnancy was enjoyable (although by week 34ish I was ready for her to vacate my womb - 3/4 trips to the bathroom a night can really take a toll of a person). That being said, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat as the outcome was my beautiful Lily Jayne. I struggle to remember our life before you. Being her Mummy is just the best thing in the entire universe. She has made my bad days easier and my good days absolutely amazing.