#which if bible study dot com can be believed

[unfoxmeart]

Angel 2/6 for Pitohuiart, with the theme of eyes & text (or books). I bent it a little and did scrolls(which are a part of the angels body), but those are book precursors, sort of. 

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[sicut-in-caelo-et-in-terra]

I Believe in Love

A Personal Retreat Based on the Teaching of St Therese of Lisieux

by Fr. Jean C. J. D’Elbee

Amazon / Barnes & Noble

I figured I’d do an informal book review, see if my followers on tumblr dot com like it

I picked up this book after a friend in a Bible study read a page out of it, telling us that this book was the book that had the most influence on his spiritual life (besides the Bible), and that it transformed the way he prayed. I read it, and have similar praises.

The book is broken up into about six conferences and is around 300 pages long. Each conference touches on a different topic, from abandonment to confidence to Mary and the Eucharist. Overall, the reading is a little heavy. The intellectual rigor itself isn’t too bad, there’s just a lot of emotional and spiritual weight there, and it often feels like if you read too much all in one sitting you will end up missing a lot. The writing style is also a little bit all over the place, the author will end up jumping into different stories, start listing little proverbs, taking mass quotes out of writings of different Saints, and listing Bible verses kind of willy-nilly, and often it can get difficult to figure out who is speaking (this might also be due to the fact that it is a translation from French). All in all, the reading itself takes a lot of patience and the book definitely needs a couple of good read-throughs in order to grab on to a lot of what he is saying.

The author is extremely well-read and highly experienced, however, and seems to have an extraordinary prayer life and a beautiful devotion to St. Therese. He pulls from many, many sources and seems to be intimately familiar with them all. He seamlessly walks between Therese’s writings and the Bible, and you get the sense through reading this book that her Little Way is extremely grounded in Jesus’s teaching and many years of very intimate prayer. This book is what made me take Therese as one of my patron Saints and guided my thought and prayer more along the Little Way, which is all about humility, becoming like a child, and placing your full trust in Jesus.

This book challenges you in an extremely loving and tender way. It made me want to get better without making me feel guilt or shame, while still being completely spiritually and intellectually rigorous. A lot of books that present challenges to your spiritual life can come off as abrasive (which is not necessarily a bad thing and does have its place), but this one is completely gentle without sacrificing the righteousness.

Although it can be a little much to get through, I do recommend this book to beginners as well as people who have read a lot of spiritual work. It serves as a really nice introduction to Therese’s own writings if you’re interested in pursuing those, but it also stands by itself. It will change the way you think about prayer and about your relationship with God. The book is written from a Catholic perspective with a primary audience of Catholics, but I think that people of other denominations could also get a lot out of it.

[klinejack]

in the spirit of losing followers for no reason, and because the new year is almost upon us, and because i haven’t done so in awhile, here is a post about the weekly parsha (torah reading):

this week we read nitzavim, 4 parashot away from the end of the book. it’s a short chunk, but one that contains a fair amount of pretty well known phrases. so while i was studying last night/early this morning, with nobody to talk to about this (as usual, because who else the fuk is awake at that hour), i had some thoughts. (under the cut for sermon length ramblings)

one of the famous phrases in nitzavim is this one:

“i have set before you life and good, death and evil. (later on) i have given you life and death, the blessing and the curse. and you will choose life, so that you and your descendants may live.”

as i was reading it i was a bit struck by the fact that my memory bank knew this translation as “i have set before you life and death, good and evil, so you may choose life.” but in all my years of reading the hebrew i never realized just how wrong that translation is? because order is important. every word and its place in the torah has its own meaning and reason. why does the text say “life and good” and then “death and evil”? is life more important than being good? certainly one may think that death is preferable to being evil, but is it more important to be alive or to be good? that made me think of one of the most important commandments in the entire torah- choose life. also right here in the same paragraph. tradition tells us that there are only a few commandments that we are not actually required to violate, if it means saving a life. shabbat? not as important as life. keeping kosher? not important. fasting on yom kippur? definitely not as important. if someone’s life (or our own) is in danger we are obligated to break any commandment to save it. except three: idolatry (i.e. forced conversion), murder (for example someone holding a gun to your head telling you to kill someone else or they’ll kill you), and sexual immorality- incest/rape/bestiality/etc (all things directly connected to the ancient primitive polytheistic worship practices of the time). in those cases, death is preferable. so the order is clear- stay alive at all costs, except if the cost is the essence of your good humanity. and always, always, choose death over evil. life-->goodness-->death-->evil. traditionally we’re taught that the commandment to choose life is a direct result of all the other commandments- if you do these things you will live. because the things you’re commanded to do are for good, and blessings are the manifestation of your good actions in the world. and if you choose to do the opposite, the result is death/evil/curses. rejecting the goodness of this way of life is a slippery slope to the opposite end. now, if you’ve read this far, you might think (if you’re thinking hard)- this doesn’t sound like a very ‘religious’ thing? because it’s not. i think this concept is pretty universal and relates closely to the idea of karma (as i know it, which is to say not in great detail). do you think this makes sense? i’d love to hear your thoughts.

another great line in this parsha is this one:

“when someone hears the words of this oath (the law from god) and blesses themselves, saying “i will have peace if i follow the vision of my heart, so that the dry may be made moist.” what does the concept of dry/wet have to do with the temptations of the heart?

here are the rabbis interpretations of this incredibly difficult to translate verse:

'to fulfill the desires of my freethinking' (Ralbag); 'to add desire even when he is satisfied' (Rambam; Chizzkuni); 'to let his desires satisfy his craving' (Sforno)

this verse jumped out to me thanks to the ridiculous way my vocabulary has been enhanced by this website- how many of you “thirst” after celebrities? how many of us feel and ache/hole/hunger in the chest when we can’t satisfy our base urges and desires/habits? when we slake this kind of thirst, we allow the body to take over the mind. again, something i’m all too familiar with- the slippery slope of addiction. how can we avoid getting to the point where we believe that satisfying our desires are more important that being good people or following “the law”/morality? and can we come back from it? the following sentence tells us no. god will “blot out” such a person “from under the heavens.” BUT, elsewhere in the torah, and especially on the high holy days, we read over and over again that if we return- god is waiting to welcome us back. mixed messages. 

because of its placement in the parsha, the previous description of the person “thirsting” after the desires of their heart is referring to a person who abandons god’s law to worship other deities instead, which is clarified then by this sentence:

“and they served foreign gods, and bowed down to them, gods they didn’t know, that were not their portion (given to them).” 

these two words “chalak lahem” “their portion” is so huge. it’s not the only place in the torah where we read about the righteousness of other nations. what this phrase is saying is that god is our (the jewish people’s) portion, and that other people have their portion (i.e. other gods to worship- this doesn’t mean that god concedes to polytheism- rather it refers to their practices and beliefs, which they are absolutely allowed to have). the rabbis emphasize that non-jews are not required to follow the commandments of the torah (other than the 7 noahide laws) and therefore there is nothing wrong with that.. if you are not jewish. “abominable” practices and such as they are referred to in the torah are specifically referring to the ancient canaanite and other religions which practiced things like child sacrifice, and not to the later polytheistic religions such as in ancient greece and rome. according to judaism, all the righteous of every nation have a place in the world to come- not just jews. so here’s my question for any christian followers (or ppl who know anything about this)- why is it such a “thing” for christianity to say that if you don’t accept jesus you’re going to hell? because that sure as shit didn’t come from the bible i know...anyways, maybe that’s too controversial a question for this rant. point is- acceptance. people are different from you and it’s totally fine. you (jews) are the ones with a choice- and if you choose wrong, you’re at fault and have to accept the consequences of your choices.

another famous sentence from today’s parsha is this one:

“these commandments are not too difficult or too remote from you. it is not in the heavens. it is not over the seas. it is in your mouth and in your heart, that you may keep it.”

the phrase “lo bashamayim hi”- “it is not in heaven” has been used for ages by rabbinic leadership to justify the flexibility of jewish law (and i use justify in the most non-negative way possible, because that’s pretty much all rabbinic judaism is- a bunch of lawyers sitting around a huge table arguing). the law is not something disconnected from you. it is not esoteric and mysterious and incomprehensible. it is a daily job. it is woven thru every aspect of your being and in every moment of your life. why? because it is a way of life- it is the only way of life we should strive for. because it leads to all those good things. the word tzedakah is usually translated as charity, and as little kids in jewish day school we internalize this assumption because the concept of helping the less fortunate is pretty much the basis for most of our religious education (the tzedakah box from the jewish national fund sits on every teacher’s desk).  but tzedakah doesn’t actually mean charity- the direct translation is “righteousness”. as in, doing the right thing. taking care of others is ipso facto doing the right thing, and so this word has taken on multiple meanings. but doing tzedakah isn’t just caring for others. it means keeping the commandments (of which there are hundreds about caring for others). by keeping all of the commandments we ensure that every person can live their best life. or that’s the goal, anyway.  the law is not in the heavens. it’s for us to understand, and to do, and to manage and to deal with every single day. it’s not for god. it’s for us. for our benefit, not just god’s.

and then the torah goes and says this little gem:

“the hidden things are for god, and the revealed, are for us and our children (until) forever, to do all the things that this torah tells us.”

so there are hidden things now? this is not a surprise. but there’s a reason some things are hidden. the things we know, the things we learn, discover, realize, are meant for us to. this sentence makes me think of “all things in good time,” but also “there are things that we’re just never meant to know.” as someone whose “thirst” has always been oriented towards knowledge, this kind of annoys me. so you’re saying i CAN’T know everything? excuse me. “hidden things” can also be translated as “secret things.” so now god is keeping secrets? yes. what is life in this world without a little mystery? i like to think of science as the thing god keeps revealing to us little by little. every time we discover something new about the world, good things erupt from within it. every time new things are revealed, there are special people who can take it to a level that benefits humanity. so what are the “secret things” that are only for god? we don’t have a clear answer in this parsha, however the words “the hidden things are for god, and the revealed for us and our children until-” all have dots scattered along the top of the letters- something found only a few times in the torah. it’s not clear why, but supposedly this indicates a particularly troublesome or difficult sentence to understand. i would agree. it’s interesting to me that the dots stop at “until” and are not on top of the word “forever.” does this mean that there will one day come a time when the hidden things are also for us? who knows. the only connection i could make from this phrase is to certain practices that we’re commanded not to partake in, specifically witchcraft and necromancy, trying to connect to the dead, etc. it was always easy for me to see the connection between those practices and things that are “meant only for god” (not that i have a problem with other people doing it, but it’s still a struggle for me that the torah says it’s necessarily wrong or bad to do, since it’s something that has always interested me). the other story that comes to mind is that of the high priest Aaron’s sons, who brought a “strange fire” into the tabernacle, and went up in flames for it. it’s one of the most mysterious stories in the torah, and there’s still no reasonable explanation for what actually happened to them. bottom line, i guess? don’t do things where you have no idea what the outcome might be- if the outcome could potentially be really really really bad. i guess that’s enough to keep certain mysteries a mystery. and maybe i’m ok with that.

if you made it to the end of my sermon i applaud you. thanks for taking the time to slog through this former teacher’s quagmire of a mind, and feel free to share your thoughts. i’d love someone to talk to about jewishy stuff.

[monicalposts]

TOP 5 PLANNERS TO HELP YOU WITH GOALS

Every goal setter, and I know this includes you, has a certain desire to find just the right goal planner to catch all the things, all the thoughts, all the ideas, all the goals for the year at hand. 

With 30 years’ worth of planners surrounding me today, I thought I would give you some intel on my five faves from the group thus far.

First, the Day Designer planner, a beautiful choice to be sure.

The number one thing I liked about the Day Designer Planner was its feminine beauty. If you go to www.daydesigner.com, you will see 10 to 12 different designs that are just beautiful. 

Each one has  pocket in the front, useful for tucking away notes or receipts. 

At the beginning of each month is a monthly calendar. 

Each page begins with a quote from a thoughtful person. 

As far as the rest of the page layout – it had a space for the top 3 priorities, a to-do list and a notes area, as well as a separate space for Daily Gratitude notes.  

I used this planner primarily for my work life goals and carried it with me to all events and meetings, and I was proud to do so because it was that pretty. 

However, practically speaking, it was bulky and heavy so when carrying on planes and in taxis, etc., it was a bit annoying.  

That being said, this planner’s beauty and functionality overshadows its bulk. Check out all the designs at www.daydesigner.com. I think they even have mini versions now!

Next up, was My Bliss Book planner. This was my choice for 2019 and I found it as I was literally enjoying one of the most blissful periods of my life at that point, spending my days tending to my daughter and her newborn baby at the time, Miss Molly. 

MyBliss Book, by Lara Land, was fun and interesting to try out.  She designed it to tap into our ability to do some forward visioneering and had space within each month to draw out our goals as well as to journal about them. 

Then, at the start of every week, she designed a page dedicated to rewriting the week’s goal, and aligning it with the monthly goal, the yearly goal and your ultimate Bliss vision toward which you were working.  It also contained prompts for a word of the week, giving back to others and to yourself. 

Every undated daily page had space again to write out the number 1 goal for the day, a way to tie it back to your vision, etc.  Each page also contained space for appointments throughout the day, notes, positive things done well that day, and the day’s affirmations.

As you can see by this description, this planner is really a system to train its user to incorporate some positive habits on a daily basis, all the while keeping the bigger picture in front of you.

From the standpoint of design and form, this planner is elegant,  bound in a buttery soft leather. Its pages are gilded and at 5x8, it was easy to tote and not cumbersome at all.

She also created some neat videos to encourage you along the way and throughout the year. 

I’m glad I tried it out for the year; however, I will say that two things that would make it better would be bible quotes and a monthly calendar to begin each period. 

Don’t get My Bliss Book if you don’t enjoy lot’s of repetition and journaling because that is a big part of the system. Check it out for yourself at www.laraland.us.

My next fave is one that I received as a gift, and was called the Goal Digger planner. First of all, I love the name

It was created with a cover of white with gold dots and bronze looking binders, and was the 8x5 size.  So --it was pretty, feminine, sturdy, yet a really good size for carrying around.

This undated planner did have a monthly calendar which you could write in the dates. I am fine with that so it worked for me. 

One thing I loved was that the first two pages of this planner prompted me to write a letter to myself about the awesome year to come. I re-read it as I prepped this podcast and 90% of the vision was in fact, achieved. 

The page layout was a week at a glance, so 7 days over 2 pages of paper. Each page included space at the top for 5 brief goals, and then each page had room for five tasks/appointments/notes for each day.

Then at the end of each month, there were 2 pages dedicated to goal analysis: accomplished, changed and coming up goals. Finally, at the back of the planner were 10 Notes pages. 

What didn’t work for me was the lack of room to capture all the tasks and appointments needed on a daily basis. This planner would be good for someone who has fewer than 10 total notes/appointments/tasks and goals to write and keep up with each day. 

So on balance, this planner was pretty, had a great name, but was not functional for me at that time. 

As a matter of fact, I supplemented it with a second planner, which in the end was not all that efficient. I don’t believe this particular planner is available anymore, but since it was one of my favorites, I thought I’d mention it.

Next up is the Commit 30 planner.  So many things to like about this one. 

First of all, it is leather bound, and all of the colors are vibrantly beautiful. I have had the blue, the gold and the magenta versions...all beautiful in the own right. 

This planner is designed around a great idea: you can commit to one goal each month and at the end of the year, you will have achieved 12 goals that are important to you. 

Each month starts with a page for your monthly goal and the 5-6 action steps you will take to achieve it. Also, it has analysis on the page asking you to answer why you did or did not reach your goal, how you would rate your efforts, and your next steps. 

On page 2 there is a prompt to write out what you commit to doing for the next 30 days with the reward for committing, planning and succeeding.

Each month has a full monthly calendar to lead it off, and then the week is spread out over 2 pages.  Along the borders of each page there are sections for Life and Work to dos, and notes.

Oh, and another design element I really liked was that each month began with a full page motivational quote. Love that!

At its size of 5x8, I was surprised at how well it worked for me as a life and work goal planner. The layout and the prompts really speak to the disciplined and committed part of my soul😊.

This planner is one I highly, highly recommend for its functionality and its form, both which are beautiful. I used it for 3 years in a row and gave many copies of it out to my friends and family. Check it out at www.commit30.com.

As much as I love the other planners, my favorite of my life so far is my 2020 planner,  the Christian Planner. 

The one I have is bound in beautiful teal leather and is the largest in size by measurement, at 10 x 7.  Because its planning pages are laid out with a week over 2 pages, it is still pretty sleek.

This planner combines God and goals, and that’s one of its main attractions for me. 

At the front of the planner, It has a few pages dedicated towards your vision board and bucket list, and also a page for healthy habits and a page for your annual goals.

These are followed by 2 annual calendars. In addition, each month begins with a monthly calendar.

Each week begins with a page for weekly sermon notes and a page for bible study notes. As a Christian seeking to integrate my faith and my goals, this is perfect!

As I mentioned, the week is laid out over two pages and there is plenty of room due to the size of the page for all the things. There is dedicated space for notes, daily healthy habit tracking and journaling. 

But my favorite thing is that each week comes with a scripture for that week. 

Love that.

At the back of the planner, there are an additional 12 blank note pages.

The main improvement I would like to see with this planner would be to shorten it to the 8 x 5 size and perhaps make it a page/day format.  

I like planners that are more the size of books than notebooks, don’t you? You can find the 2021 Christian Planner at www.christianplanner.com.

So there you have it, a recap of some of the best planners I have enjoyed as I have lived out the life of a goal crafter.

Do you have a favorite that you’d like to share? I’m sure the community would enjoy hearing about it. Just leave a message in the comment section and all the subscribers will see it.

2021 is approaching pretty quickly now. Select and order your planner now before the year gets away from you so that you can begin planning for another incredible year of goal crafting and achievement.

I pray that the goals you have set are progressing and that God honors the work of your hands and you flourish, in Jesus’ name, Amen!

Be blessed!

[magnificentcolormoneywagon-blog]

Notes

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🔯Craig O'neil Martin .com

Ye.. these are acknowledgement of people of Great Kings and Queens.

There is until death is of they that has quest until they are called upon as nubian. These people are set to rituals that as they are in their owed their fought brought them to a Great Dynasty that there is a Kingdom left behind those off to be offered into these people.

KINGDOMS ARE KINGDOM : (1.)

     Kingdom are kingdom that have great leaders; as they are Mighty Men in The Throne Crowned as Great Leader's.

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Hailey Selassie I.

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Merry Thankzgivings!!!

//°°|©@™®🌐.. .

Cerly ..Craig O'neil Martin.

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MAY DAY.

DAY. DAY.

😭MAYHEM!!.

😰MAYHEM..

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I can't gather you're awaken in a strong morning; as if it is yet but I'm; gone!.

😳sHANty i.e.t.s PrOdUcTiOn!!!

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               Sincerely Craig O'neil Martin.....;

#seekie (i )#seeki.

It is like a day nothing wrong but do I see that I can't believe I see that had.

Craig what are you doing.. I'm good I'm just sitting down. Oh!!!

I fear a steering whist; that hit me; as it hit a song.

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(@these are vision of all thoughts to belief.°©.)

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Spit on me what's that for okay.

Thanks for this.

Yes you're more likely.

The End.

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(The End)

And as the angel came to the earth see the midst of all the earth and the myth of all the flock that see the death of he that know nothing of they and out of the heaven of they the coming of him that sat upon them that see him in death upon the land and the sea and of the ocean.

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[viralhottopics]

What I Didnt Know About Having A C-Section Until I Had One

Here’s my story: The whole time I was pregnant, our plan was for my husband Dan to deliver our baby. He was in his final year of an ER residency at the hospital where we were planning on delivering, he had already helped deliver babies there, and my awesome OB-GYN thought it would be amazing for him to deliver our child.

Her plan was to sit nearby in the rocking chair while he delivered, just in case he needed any advice. Then my amniotic sac (aka “water”) developed a slow leak without me going into labor. About ten hours after it had started leaking, I still hadn’t had a single contraction and I was only 1 cm. dilated, so I was hooked up to a Pitocin drip. After a whole night on Pitocin (and 24 hours after “the leak” began,) I was only 4 cm. dilated, my son was face up, his head was not at all engaged in my pelvis, and his heart rate started dropping after each contraction.

So, we talked with my OB, and we all decided that a c-section was the best option. (When my OB delivered our son, she realized that his umbilical cord had been trapped between his head and my pelvis, so if his head had moved down, it could’ve clamped off his cord and become an emergency.)

I hadn’t even bothered to pay attention when they talked about c-sections in our childbirth class, because I knew I wasn’t going to have one.

Having gone through c-section denial myself, here are some things I didn’t know that you might want to know if you’ve just had a c-section, if you’re having a scheduled c-section, or if, like me, you’re totally sure that you’ll never need a c-section. You know — just in case.

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Bethany Neumeyer

1. Walk, walk, walk.

When I shared the news of my son’s birth on Facebook, I also shared that I had a c-section. And I got a few messages from awesome women in my life (at least one of whom — an old friend from summer camp — I hadn’t spoken with in years) who had had c-sections and offered advice and encouragement. The one thing they all advised was to walk as much as I could, so I started walking (up and down the halls) the day after Lucas was born, and I think it helped a lot (not that I have anything to compare it to, but still.) As with anything else, listen to your body and don’t overdo it.

2. Take the stool softener.

From what I’ve heard, pooping the first time after you have a child is always a pain, literally,whether you delivered vaginally or by c-section. But if you have a c-section, you have the added problem that many pain medications can make you constipated. I was on Percocet after my c-section, and that stuff stops you up like you wouldn’t believe. It was kind of awful. So any time they offer you a stool softener or a laxative in the hospital, take it!(And if they don’t offer you one, ask for it.) Drink prune juice, mix fiber in your drink (if your doctor says it’s OK), eat tons of fresh fruits and veggies, and take the stool softener. I cannot stress that strongly enough. For me, constipation was the worst part of my recovery. Moving on from the fact that I just told everyone I couldn’t poop…

Bethany Neumeyer

3. Stay in the hospital for as long as they’ll let you.

I know, I know — you just want to get home to your own bed and your own clothes and your own nursery that you spent the last nine months decorating. But those things will still be there in a day or two, and in the meantime, you should take advantage of the fact that you can have healthy meals delivered to your bed and a few extra pairs of hands to help with diaper changes. Remember, you’re recovering from a major surgery and more help is a good thing. Most insurance companies cover four days in the hospital after a c-section, so if you can get it, take it.

4. Sleep as much as you can.

All new moms are told to sleep when the baby sleeps, but this is especially important when you’re recovering from a major surgery on top of new-mom sleep-deprivation. The laundry will wait. The dishes will wait. Go take a nap.

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5. You still can’t wear tampons.

Maybe I’m alone in this, but I kind of thought that the whole “no sex or tampons for at least six weeks” thing was just because your vagina goes through a traumatic experience during childbirth and needs some recovery time. Actually, it’s because you still have an open wound where the placenta was connected to your uterus. So, putting anything into your vagina is a no-no while this wound is healing because you run the risk of accidentally introducing bacteria into your uterus and causing an infection. The point is, even if you deliver by c-section instead of vaginally, you’re still going to have to use pads for your postpartum bleeding. Sorry. And while we’re kind of on the subject…

6. Sex still might hurt for a while.

This is something I neither knew nor expected. I knew that sex was painful for the first few times if you had a vaginal delivery, but I assumed that it was just because, you know, you had pushed a baby out of your vagina. But sex was still painful for me the first few times after having a c-section (and I don’t mean it was painful at the site of my incision, if you catch my drift.) I’m guessing it was because of hormones (and my son was breastfed, which causes you to be extra dry.) Use lots of lube, and take it slowly. It gets better.

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7. It’s okay to feel sad, but if you’re too sad for too long, talk to your doctor.

Some women feel some sadness after having an unplanned c-section. If you had a picture in your mind of how your baby was going to be born and then circumstances outside of your control resulted in an unplanned c-section, it’s normal to feel a little disappointed. I was fortunate in that I didn’t deal with any feelings of sorrow over my c-section after my son was born (although I did cry when we all realized I’d need to have one,) but I know that some women do feel sad over it, and that is totally normal. My concern is, is that if it seems to you that your excessive feelings of sadness, guilt or anger have a legitimate cause, you might be less likely to recognize if they’re actually symptoms of postpartum depression. So, if your feelings of sadness don’t go away or if they get worse, talk to your doctor about them.

8. Ask for (or accept) help.

This one can be tough, but things will go much more easily if you do it! If someone asks if there’s anything they can do to help, say yes! And if they don’t offer, don’t feel bad asking for specific favors from close friends or family members. If you’re breastfeeding, no one else can take over the feedings (obviously,) but that doesn’t mean they can’t change diapers, do some laundry, or rock your baby while you take a nap. If your neighbor’s planning a trip to the grocery store, ask if she can pick up a few items for you, too. The women from my bible study brought me meals for two weeks, and I can’t even tell you how wonderful it was not to have to think about getting or making food while I was recovering.

Bethany Neumeyer

9. You might have to buy more pants.

I forget how long it was before I could fit into my pre-pregnancy pants, but even when they fit well, I still couldn’t wear my jeans comfortably. The waistbands on all of my pre-pregnancy jeans were positioned at just the wrong height so that they were fine while I was standing, but when I sat, they pressed right into my c-section scar. The scar was tender if something rubbed or pressed against it for at least nine months after my son was born, and I had given up on ever wearing my pre-pregnancy jeans again and purchased all new jeans with higher waist bands by the time the sensitivity finally went away. Now I have tons of jeans, so I guess that wasn’t necessarily bad.

10. It gets better.

At first, simple things like laughing are going to hurt. You’re going to be tired and sore for a while. But it gets better. I promise. And yes, your scar will fade a whole lot. On the days (or the nights, especially the nights) that it’s really tough, it doesn’t hurt to tell yourself out loud: “This is temporary. It will get better.” Then send an email or a text to a fellow mom who can relate, and tell her you need some encouragement. (If you don’t know who to email, my email is bejaneum[at]gmail[dot]com.) It gets better. Pinky swear.

Bethany Neumeyer

And now, a few bonus tips if you haven’t had a c-section yet.

11. Daddy might be able to do skin-to-skin contact with baby if you can’t.

Skin-to-skin contact — also called Kangaroo Care — is when a newborn baby is placed naked (or wearing only a hat and diaper) on mom’s bare skin, and it’s great for newborns. (You can read more about why it’s good for them here.) I was really determined that I would do skin-to-skin contact with my baby as soon as he was born, so one of the first things I thought of when we realized a c-section was a distinct possibility was that I wouldn’t be able to have skin-to-skin contact right away since I’d be getting sutured closed. So, my husband asked if he could do it instead.

My OB had the nurses bring him scrub pants and a hospital gown, which he wore with the opening in the front, and he was able to hold Lucas against his bare chest while I was still on the operating table. Since then, my OB has recommended it to all of her c-section patients, and she even wrote a letter about it that was published in a medical journal (I have a copy in Lucas’s baby book.) If you’ve found out that you’re going to need a c-section, ask your OB about this ahead of time. (You can even mention that it was suggested in the May 2013 issue of OBG Management if you really want to sound like you’ve done your homework on the subject.)

12. Bring one or two pairs of long, comfy socks to the hospital.

Because you’ll likely be staying in bed for 18 to 24 hours after your c-section, they’ll probably put these plastic things on your lower legs that inflate and deflate to massage your legs and prevent blood clots. When they first put them on, you’ll be like, “Ahh! Leg massage! This is so luxurious!” And then after ten minutes, you’ll be asking the nurse to please, please, pretty please take them off just for one minute, please! Plastic against your bare skin just feels sticky and sweaty and uncomfortable. I imagine that soft cotton knee-high socks would help a lot. (I say “I imagine” because I didn’t know about the plastic massagers of misery and was stuck trying to bargain with the nurse that if she took them off for just five minutes, I swore I would flex my legs the entire time and also use sheer force of will to prevent blood clots.)

Moms, have any other tips? Please feel free to add them in the comments!

For more from Bethany Neumeyer visit I Was Promised More Naps, FacebookandInstagram.

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from What I Didnt Know About Having A C-Section Until I Had One