#which is fine bc it's almost 5am

[crushofdoves]

a fun thing about me is that I absolutely cannot handle caffeine or alcohol, and also I'm a little stupid and I always do this thing where I order a huge coffee or liquor drink and think, "oh I'm so thirsty! I'll just chug this!"

and then I end up either vibrating out of my own skin from the caffeine or unable to stand up bc of the alcohol and I simply do not learn my lesson

[kuiinncedes]

jglhdkhjf

[vydumaj]

who knew eating a hamburger would give covid like symptoms…that was terrifying

[mpregjohnwinchester]

🔥 i don't have topic in mind just go off

oof that's dangerous lol. i'll leave the heavy unpopular opinions for another time.

so i'll go with a softer one - cw frank poo talk

people who say they have IBS bc they take a long shit after a heavy meal, or more than one shit a day: talk to me when you've attended your friend's wedding (as a bridesmaid no less) with like the worst stomach pain of your life, belly ballooned out so far you have to pose for pretty photos while looking eleven months pregnant, having to run to the bathroom at least once an hour but you just CANNOT for the life of you take that shit. so it sits in there and gurgles especially loudly while your friend's dad is giving an emotional wedding speech to the point where people around the table are looking at you like you can fucking control your gastric system singing the song of its people and you end the day feeling exhausted and feverish and STILL can't pass the damn thing. you spend the entire celebratory breakfast the next morning in the bathroom in this tiny cafe where its so obvious where you are and what you're (trying to) do, struggling through the two hour train ride home with cramps like hell, get home and go straight to bed and take five laxatives and pray for that shit to pass (literally) - still no joy, just more cramps, gurgling and what feels like the crown of a pineapple nudging at your arsehole. so you literally almost crawl to the pharmacist across the street and beg for something to get you going. pharmacist takes one look at you and goes into the back and silently places a box of sachets on the counter, tells you to take one "and wait." doesn't explain what they are, you're so desperate you don't care, you go home and mix that up with some robinson's squash and then go back to bed. and so intensifies the cramps, so grows the pineapple, and you feel so fucking ill you're convinced at this point that you're dying, so you look at the packet again and see that mr edgelord pharmacist has given you a PRESCRIPTION ONLY BOWEL CLEANSE intended to be given to people the night before a colonoscopy. AND IT STILL ISNT FUCKING WORKING.

so at this point you call 111 crying bc you're convinced the pineapple arse baby is going to explode inside you and you're going to die of poo sepsis which is just a really unsexy way to go and you can't deal with that being your cause of death, and they tell you to get yourself to a&e right away which you do at like 5am at this point, so you get an uber to the hospital and the receptionist TRIES to tell you to go home and wait for it to pass but you're not having any of it (your memory is fuzzy aside from being taken into the back and pacing around wailing bc you can't sit down, have you ever tried to sit down on a pineapple arse baby, it's like what i imagine using a potato as a butt plug without lube would feel like), and you are probably left pacing and wailing for like 2 hours, bc this is the UK at 6am on a sunday and there's probably one doctor in the entire hospital who (understandably) doesn't think your pineapple arse baby is comparatively important; and your vitals are all fine which buys you probably another hour of pacing and wailing, and when the doctor finally comes through they brusquely finger your arse without even buying you a snack first and declare that "the rectum feels empty" like you're here for fun, and then return with a box of movicol (powdered laxatives) and tell you to go home. in what is possibly your finest and coolest moment to date you beg for an enema because you already sank a half pack of movicol (you always have a supply in your IBS cupboard bc you have one of those) and a prescription only fucking bowel cleanse and the doctor looks at you like you've come to a&e with a cut finger and tells you "it's just your IBS, wait for it to pass and see your GP tomorrow."

so you go home in an uber crying your racing heart out and sitting on your thighs while the concerned driver asks if you want to go back to the hospital and you declare no because its JUST YOUR IBS AND YOURE OVERREACTING (you may have told the driver this) and you crawl back up the stairs to your flat and go to bed and wait to die

three hours later the things my bathroom saw - well, sensitive readers may find the details disturbing so i'll omit them. but the pineapple arse baby passed over a period of about four long hours and i did not leave that bathroom the same person i was when i came in. i am actually only half joking. this was such a horrendous experience i actually had a nightmare or two about it. and now every time i have a bad ibs-c flare up, i get so anxious about this happening again i have had actual panic attacks.

... do all of this THEN come tell me you have IBS. take some imodium for your carbonara, white wine and gelato induced loose stool and stfu you little bitch.

[yuukei-yikes]

Do you have any headcanons about Hibiya's relationships with the rest of the Dan after the series? I was always a little disappointed we didn't really get to see him interact much with anyone besides hiyori, konoha, and momo. I would have loved to see him properly integrated as a member of the group and hanging out with them 🥲

YESSSSS I'VE ACTUALLY BEEN MEANING TO DRAW HIBIYA HANGING OUT WITH EVERYONE SEPARATELY TO LIKE POINT OUT DYNAMICS but then i never did 💔 i still will at some point

hibiya is the mekakushi dan's little brother.

0. ayano's big sister radar goes off incredibly fast when meeting hibiya. she spoils the hell out of him because hibiya is largely independent and already has momo as a big sister for emotional stuff so when ayano's like WANT ME TO PATCH UP THE HOLE IN UR SHIRT hibiya's like what. i know how to do that myself. and ayano's like fine i will buy your love if i must. so she's always taking him shopping and asking if he needs anything new. he comes back every summer to the city with broken ass sandals and ayano's always sending him back with shiny new ones. he still rly enjoys having her around but he looks at her more in a motherly light than sisterly. he'd DIE before admitting it tho

1. srry to play the cooking card with kido again but. hibiya and kido cooking together :) i think kido is very impressed with hibiya's cooking and hibiya is SUPER used to being taken for granted so when they point it out to him he almost bursts into tears. i think hibiya is always looking for compliments from kido bc kido is super cool and The Leader and they kinda have a teacher's pet dynamic LMAOO hibiya is always asking kido if he can help with any chores so of course it works and he's kido's favorite student. if this was a class which is not. so he's just a rly helpful kid kido enjoys having around and hibiya loves that kido is really normal. also kidomomo. yeah. hibiya and his lesbian moms. also kido teaches hibiya how to bind. ratio

2. with seto... i remember reading this fic in ff/net back in the golden days of kagepro (so like. 10 years ago) that was like hibiya resenting seto bc he was still hurting abt hiyori and while everyone died with a loved one seto lost a DOG. i thought it was so funny bc it's so immature but seems so in character for hibiya. also in the novels when hibiya is unconscious he's taken to seto's room. i think hibiya thinks the whole dan act like fools (bc they ARE) but kind of respects and looks up to seto because hibiya is 12 and according to my intensely calculated family headcanons was raised in a toxic masculinity household so he sees this Buff Guy getting up at 5am everyday and holds more than one job for his family...he's like (nod nod nod) and he also really respects how seto refuses to use his eye power because of its. erm. unethical nature. hibiyas like UGH SETO IS SO COOL SUCH A MAN'S MAN. seto is mostly oblivious to this and always always always ruffles hibiyas hair. everyone does this but seto is the only one hibiya doesnt yell at

3. i think kano would go easy on hibiya cuz he's a kid but not entirely bc if kano isnt totally insufferable to everyone he knows at least once a day he gets sick and dies. i think kano tries to do the big sibling thing abt convincing the little brother of a total bullshit lie like basically his hobbie is gaslighting hibiya for fun. hibiya goes screaming for kido to make him stop lol. also kano's the one who's always saying shit like hibiya is 8 years old. even when hibiya's an adult kano's like how old are u again. u turned like 15 right

4. man mary tries acting SOOOO GROWN UP to hibiya she's like desperately trying to seem like a cool older sister but on purpose. with everyone else it's kind of natural but she is actively trying. momo bestie so also around a lot and sees how momo (hibiyas big sister #1) acts around him and tries doing the same and hibiya's like. this is pathetic. but still endearing and accepts it LOL he's also respectful of mary bc he's well aware of her role in their survival so he's like SIGHS okay

6. takane is everyone's demise because she introduces hibiya to smartphones and gaming. like hibiya rly wanted a smartphone right and then he makes all these friends and has to go back to the village so he takes an intensive course ran by takane abt how to use a phone. which is all good. but the thing is she is ALSO like ur so weird kid. here. play some amongus. this is how amongus hibiya can still win. everyone like vinnie hibiya cant be a fortnite kid bc he has no idea abt gaming he doesnt even have a phone WELL i got news for u buddy my fave character is takane and im also totally delusional. she is the reason hibiya is texting the gc in total typos asking if anyone wants to among us. and he's so thankful to her he expresses his gratitude thru sending her amongus and minecraft memes he finds around that she's seen a thousand times but it's rly endearing. also hibiya is shintaro coded so takane knows how to handle him sorry im so delusional abt their friendship (holds their chapter together from novel eight close to my chest)

7. eheheheheh. like i said. hibiya is shintaro coded like in canon both momo and takane say hibiya reminds them of shintaro like he's a little shin. and momo adopting hibiya means shintaro gets little brother by default too. his ass is always at HIS HOUSE!!!! i talked abt this in a post once abt how seeing hibiya and momo together makes shintaro want to try a little harder at being a big brother. i think they like each other and shintaro always lets hibiya sit in his room if momo is being too insane, and hibiya sometimes is like well shintaro's actually pretty normal!! (immediately sees him act a fool bc ofc he does) eugh. also shintaro helps hibiya with his summer hw, i think hibiya's a good student but appreciates the help and tells shintaro he thinks he'd make a rly good teacher and continues writing down on his hw all casually while shintaro has to act like he didn't get all choked up hearing that

9. i've talked abt the haruka and hibiya shitshow lol but again i love the idea of hibiya just totally refusing to acknowledge konoha's gone and keeps kicking and screaming abt it. bc if konoha is rly gone then it means he regrets everything bc he was so mean to it and its bc of it hiyori is alive (hiyori doesnt act this way bc she's well aware of it) and that SUCKS. so hibiya largely avoids haruka and isn't all that into how hiyori is really accepting of him and all. and haruka is also like. awkwardly trying to approach him because it's the least he can do in konoha's memory but hibiya's like hissing at him. eventually hibiya would accept it after a couple breakdowns. i think momo also punches some sense into him. i want hibiya to lash out at haruka and scream all sorts of things at him abt how it's not fair konoha is gone and like who even is he and just overall say all the things haruka is already super insecure about but then it ends on hibiya sobbing in his arms abt how much he misses konoha. and haruka can only hug him back and apologize :(

[roylustang]

Okay here’s a fun summary of my weekend in which I did not sleep

Saturday 3am: wake up

4am: drive to race venue

5am: Evan starts the race, I go back to my car and sleep for 3 more hours. I never really fell fully asleep but it did feel very rejuvenating so I’m fine with it.

8:30am - 8:30pm: Evan’s sister and I crew Evan for the first 50 miles of the race and watch the other races unfold. Lin Chen, who I first heard about in a podcast hardly a week ago wins the 100k race outright. She’s gonna get top 10 in western states later this month EASY—this was a training run for her. Actually first and second place in the 100k overall were women which is awesome. I eat spaghetti with my hands. Among many other things. A gopher pokes his head out of his little gopher hole for a little bit, he’s cute. An hour later a 3+ foot long gopher snake slithers through our tent, which Evan’s sister is terrified of. Someone saw a bear on course. Actually the guy who saw the bear was talking about it to someone on the phone while I was eating rice by my car. I get my shit together to pace Evan.

8:30pm: The sun has set but there’s still a little bit of light out and I set out to run with Evan for the next 38.5 miles (~62 kilometers). I’m fucking pumped. We have both severely underestimated the course.

9:30pm: we set up Pig Farm Hill, which is very steep and decorated with little plastic pigs (like rubber ducks). I’m still pumped and I feel prepared bc I just ran 34,000ft/10,000m+ of elevation last month.

11pm: we go up the second steep, long climb of the course. I will later conclude climbing is much easier at night simply for the fact you cannot see how much farther you have left to go. There’s also funny signs that say shit like “you’re not there yet! :(“ and “John 3:16” which is apparently a meme making fun of Christian white girls. There’s also direct action propaganda that says “Make [name of race] a Western States qualifier” bc the race director for western states is running the race.

Sunday 12am: Evan and I are on a road section of the course. It’s pitch black outside, obviously, no moon, but we have headlamps. I look up into the cliff face and see something very reflective. I pray it is a course marker up a switchback but I know in my heart it is not. It’s a pair of eyes watching us. Evan turns his headlamp up brighter and it is in fact a juvenile mountain lion. We attempt to be loud but it seems unfazed. We back away slowly watching it the entire time until it is out of sight, checking back into the void behind us occasionally just in case.

1am: I am plagued by the reflective eyes of creatures in the forest for the remainder of the night. The second pair of eyes we see I immediately think “jackal”, and I’ll find out later Evan also thinks this even though that doesn’t make sense because we’re in California. Upon further research later we conclude it is a bobcat. There is also a deer, very close. All of these creatures are watching us as we pass through like they think we can’t see them. But all we can see are their eyes and it’s fucking terrifying. Also if I didn’t know bullfrogs sounded like that I’d be sprinting. And we hear a gunshot somewhere in the distance (some coyotes attacked some dogs somewhere, we’ll find out later)

1:30am: we’re almost done with the 13.5 mile loop, and I eat absolute shit on some rocks. Both my knees are bruised, one is skinned to shit (I was wearing a compression sleeve on the other) as is one of my hands, but I’m bleeding in three places. Also, because I tripped on a slight downhill, the force of my fall flipped me onto my side, almost my back, so I also have bruises and scrapes on my arm and shoulder which I won’t realize for another 12 hours. I’m kind of amazed I didn’t scrape my face on the ground. All of this stings like a motherfucker but I get up quick and we run back to tent city. Also I am spared some bc the part of my knee I scraped did not cross over the part of the knee I scraped when I ate shit the week previous. All of this still stings even now on Monday bc scabs are trying to form on very bendable parts of my body.

2am: we set out on the 11.5 mile loop. We’re trying to finish the first (for me) 25 miles before the sun rises so we don’t have to climb up Pig Farm Hill again in the heat of the day. I change into a long sleeve sun shirt bc it’s getting cold and it might protect my hands if I fall again.

2am-3am: we do the Creek Crossings. All of them are complete shit. Some of them are more the ponds, but the only thing there is to cross them are thin wooden boards that aren’t attached to anything. It’s pretty pointless. Our feet are soaked and covered in mud. This section of the course is otherwise much flatter but this fucking sucks so I’m not doing this one again. I’d much rather climb another like 3,000 feet than deal with this shit. Otherwise this section is rather uneventful. Evan and I are both pretty tired though so we’re not really talking anymore.

5:30am: we make it back to tent city just as daylight breaks. We completed our first goal. Evan takes some time at tent city. I’m very slowly eating a palm-sized, 300 calorie PB&J some aid station volunteers gave us, but I know my guts are turning. Also my calf feels really weird. I eat about half of it and stick the other half completely unwrapped in my pack. Fuck it.

I should also mention the entire time Evan and I are peeing like crazy. Like every other mile. We always pee together to conserve time. At some point I feel like all the water I’m drinking is only being used to make me pee.

5:45am: we leave to do the 13.5 mile loop again for the last time. I poop like 5 times. I can’t really eat anything anymore (without pooping) but we’re also not really running anymore either, so I’m not worried bc I’m good at fat oxidization. I say I’m not going to eat anymore but I do anyway bc the allure of capri suns and sour candy at the aid stations compel me. Those things surprisingly don’t make me poop.

7am: we make it to the top of Pig Farm Hill again. Evan sits down to take off his shirt bc it’s starting to get warm. As he does so, a group of trail runners/hikers and their husky come up the trail. I’m so ecstatic I don’t ask to pet their dog and just do it because I need the morale boost. Evan gets his shirt on and is immediately licked all over his face. This is great.

8am: I am starting to fall behind as a pacer bc Evan is a fucking beast on the climbs and at this point I have only gone this far one other time in my life. My quads are trashed. I’m also going slightly insane with sleep deprivation bc I haven’t slept in at least 24 hours. I am talking half to Evan half to myself about just really stupid shit i don’t even really remember.

8:30am: we’re back on the switchback climb which sucks now because I can see it. Evan takes a break and I pick a 3 foot tall dandelion and hold it over my head like a balloon for morale. I do that for like a mile before the stem flops over and then I put it in my pack instead. The seeds are slowly being blown away as we go and I’m emotionally attached to it now in my sleep deprivation. It seems sad but I convince myself it’s a good thing bc this dandelions seeds are literally being spread over miles. It’s arguably the most successful dandelion that’s ever existed.

10am: I squat down to pee at mile 37 and pull a muscle in my quad when I stand back up bc they’re so thrashed. Men have it so easy. Regardless, we make it back to tent city with no problem on my end and now Evan is surely going to finish, he just has to do the 11.5 mile loop one more time. And I’m done pacing.

After that, I get some ice for my quad and take an ibuprofen and try not to move. My leg didn’t really hurt the last mile back but now it really hurts to bend or straighten it completely and even the slightest downhill is a pain. Miraculously it feels completely fine today, but it is tender to the touch and I can’t stretch it. I immediately become less insane upon sitting down for like 20 minutes. Evan’s sister loves the fact that one of our tent neighbors DNF’ed. He signed up for the hundred miler despite having only ever run a half marathon because his girlfriend does them and “if she can do it then so can he”. He drops at mile 30. She wins the race. We’re all cackling.

3:30pm: Evan finishes the race and we fuck around (re: rest) for little bit before packing up the tent and shit. I’m driven back to my car which is only like 1/3rd of a mile away bc ouch.

5pm: we go to dinner bc we obviously need food. I’ve burned 6,000 calories. I ran with Evan for 14 hours. That’s the longest I’ve ever run time-wise. All of these stats indicate to my body that I’ve just completed a 100 kilometer effort despite only going 62 kilometers (with 6,300 feet of elevation). And also it feels like it, though my legs don’t hurt as much as the first time I ran 100km (#experience).

7:30pm: we drop Evans sister off at the airport. I am having an out of body experience in the passenger seat and fall asleep for 10 minutes. The sun is setting again and I’m losing my mind.

9:30pm: we get back to the motel and blessedly pass the fuck out for the next 12 hours, tired, sore, and beaten, but victorious for the first time in almost a year. Trauma has finally been resolved. Hallelujah.

[romanticfistfightz]

a list of everything that went wrong today bc if i dont complain and joke about it ill think too much . under read more cuz its 20 points.

my mother got a speeding ticket bc she was 10km/h over . on an empty road at 5am but it wasnt cops ther ebut the one that flashes its not happened to me exactly but it went wrong

had to pay 260pln at the airport cuz the fucking ryanair app didnt work properly and didnt give me my boarding pass when i definitely clicked download and then gave me an "unknown error"

already stressed went to the gate . looked at my boarding pass . only one bag. fuck

paid anothe 200 to be able to take my luggage with me already sweating and shaking (at least the vodka in dutyfree was on sale)

the dude taking my payment told me to take out electronics and meds cuz "these bags get lost sometimes" causing me to die instantly

i gave my bag to a dude next to my plane so he can put it inside the plane with other checked in bags . which should make me more normal cuz like i gave it to him and saw him walk to put it in

didnt help. i was already panicking. what if he took it to a different plane (there were no other planes) . what if he took it for himself and hid it (its bright fucking yellow someone would see it) . what if the plane runs it over (????)

had my adhd toy and was very nervously playing with it and sweating and the lady sitting next to me asked if everythings okay (probably assuming im scared of flying/planes/heights) . so that was nice of her i told her im having an awful day but thanks for asking

the emergency instructions that they give every time made me worse. the plane shook when flying up (normal) and i was sure its crashing . the force of flying up felt different i was sure the engines stopped and died

realized i need to throw up NOW so i went to the bathroom and threw up a bit. never threw up thousands of meters into the air

didnt wanna flush it cuz what if it sucks out too much and sucks out my bag and it falls out

the rest of the flight was fine i chilled out n saw mt etna which is fun i always wanted to see a volcano

landed. started freaking out a bit cuz my bag wasnt coming out for a long time (normal time) and what if they lost it the numbes were slightly different what if somone already took it- oh nvm here it is

cool going for the bus oh wait i need to have coins to pay for the ticket i just bought a carbs free(?) beer for 1.90eur at the airport

wanted to smoke so i wanted to grab my cigarettes from my backpack and realized half of my shampoo spilled out for some fucking reason and the ziplock wasnt closed fully so my backpack (with my laptop charger cables and most important handbound physical copy of unholyverse which was a gift from my bf) was in shampoo and i had no tissues

okay crisis averted it wasnt as bad as i thought. oh shit im almost late for my bus the next ones in 1.5h

managed to get in . and it even had ac. doesnt matter the zip on my backpack broke but after a 10min fight i fixed it

my phones at 7% i need to climb uphill to get to my hotel . the checkins not until 3pm (it was 11.30 at the time its 12.30 now)

okay fine i have an adapter ill charge my phone a bit and go for a walk . yeah sure lmao the adapter doesnt work apparently so im charging my phone from my laptop

well at least theres two swimming pools so ill go swim for the first time in 8yrs.

[an-amalgamation-of-me]

Montys Labor & Delivery Story (Condensed)

I started having consistent contractions that were on average 3 mins apart at 10pm on the 2nd. 2 hrs later, while I was in bed trying to be quiet like a mouse, but in pain, my water broke at 1208am. Got to the hospital at 130am and when they checked me they said I was only at 3. Around 5am I asked for an epidural bc they made me nervous that when I actually needed it, they’d be busy and I’d have to wait a while. So even tho I didn’t need it yet, I was like GIVE ME DRUGS😅 so I get it and around 6am I’m still at a 3. So they gave me pitocin. And they’d check me every 2 hours and I’d only have dilated 1 cm 🫣 it was frustrating. But I watched the toy story marathon with Carmen and ate lemon popsicles, apple juice and ice water (but also just ice bc hospital ice is the best) for like 6 hours…then I started throwing up. I was eating too much I think and the epidural didn’t like that. So I threw up once and I was like ok I’ll stop eating the popsicles. But I still want the apple juice. And then I remembered there was ginger ale. Took 2 tiny sips to see if I like it (I know nothing of the brand shasta so I had to analyze the taste 😒) IMMEDIATE NO. Threw it up in like 1 min. Cool. I’ll stick to water…..threw that up too. FINE I WONT DRINK ANYTHING EVEN THO IM HUNGRY AND BECOMING DEHYDRATED. I totally fully became dehydrated and got an infection and finally by maybe 7pm I was at a 7 or 8 and I was like…cool this should go quickly. Wrong. My cervix was being stubborn af….. So they’re flipping me from side to side. Omg btw PEANUT BALLS ARE AS MAGICAL AS THE INTERNET SAYS IT IS. Use iiittttttttt if you get an epidural and need to dilate. It’s amazing. Anyways. At around 9ish-I’m still only at 8 AND THE LEFT SIDE OF MY BODYS EPIDURAL WORE OFF. So I’m feeling contractions at 8cm only on one side. But I was riding the waves and using my low voice for vibrations and pain relief. Anesthesiologists come and fix it but it takes about an hour or so for it to start working on my left side again. At about 10, I’m at a 9. But now I have bad acid reflux. And it’s fierce. Rising in my stomach, into my throat and making me nauseous af and it was burning tf out of my throat. I was miserable. I almost hated that more than contractions bc I could manage contractions. I couldn’t manage the acid. I ended up throwing up twice of just gross bile. It was awful and I wanted to cry. They finally get me some tums, some acid reflux meds to put in my IV and nausea meds to put in my IV. You’d think after all that I’d be ready to push. Nope. 11pm I’m at 9.5cm. They have me doing practice pushes to see if maybe I can push pass the lip of my cervix that is being stubborn but they worry I may rip my cervix which they really don’t want. So we are waiting again, but getting nervous bc baby’s heart keeps rising and falling with the contractions and I’m feverish bc of my infection but they give me antibiotics which is sort of helping but they only have a little bit of time to give me before they have to seriously consider a c section which I really didn’t want bc I was scared and also IM AT 9! So one of the nurses out my right leg up on the side table and we waited. She said back in the day, that used to work really well w a stubborn cervix. And IT DID. By 1215 I was ready to push and pediatric doctors came in as well as my labor and delivery team and they dropped the bottom of my bed off, pulled me closer to the edge, one nurse had a leg, Carmen had my right leg, I had my arms under both legs and I pushed this 9.5lb baby out in 10min!!!!!!!! Born 4 Dec at 1247am💙 It was such a dramatic labor in my opinion. But well worth it.

[haxxy]

me: oh boy, finally finished my last assignment of the semester... i can finally rest also me: stays up later anyways

[promisebymin]

ladies n gents .... another e* post that I wasn’t expecting to make anymore bc I felt like I was finally feeling like myself again .

[hangovercurse]

Crash Into Me

You’d been MGK’s assistant for years, but you never thought you had a chance at anything more with him until one stoplight changes everything.

Request: “ok im so sorry if this is 2 specific but ive had this idea for ages abt pining!colson x an insecure/clueless!reader who has been his assistant forever. she gets into a car accident and calls him hours later to tell him that a temp will be taking her place for a few weeks (bc of injuries) and he's like ?? why?? she explains nonchalantly, then kells kinda freaks out and shows up at the hospital all worried”

Colson Baker X Reader

Warnings: Cursing, car accident (descriptive)

A/N: This was cute 😊

Word Count: 3185

“Alright Kells, I’m out for the night. I’ll email those tracks to the board when I get home and I’ll let you know if I get any updates for tomorrow’s press.” You told the blond man who was sitting on the couch as you put your laptop into your bag. You tried not to yawn as you heaved it over your shoulder, “anything else?”

You glanced at the kitchen clock that read 2 am and let out a small sigh. You were used to late nights given your job as assistant to a rockstar, but most nights you were able to leave before 8 pm. Tonight you and Colson had gotten really invested in the tracks you were editing and lost track of time.

“Y/N,” he turned to look at you with puppy dog eyes. He wanted something that you really weren’t gonna want to give him. “Could you come over early tomorrow to help me pick out what to wear for the Vanity Fair interview?”

You chuckled, “you know they have their own wardrobe department?”

He sighed, “yeah but you know me so much better than all those stylists. I trust your opinion more.”

You rolled your eyes as he tilted his head, begging you. “Fine, but I’m buying us coffee with your credit card.”

He broke out into a smile, “thank you, love you!” He called as you walked towards his front door.

“Whatever, I’ll see you tomorrow.” You told him, taking your car keys into your hands, and stepping out into the LA night. There was a soft breeze that shook the trees slightly, making you smile. It felt nice outside for the first time in a while.

Because of this, you decided to drive home with your windows rolled down, letting the wind flow through your hair. The roads were pretty barren by LA standards, so traffic was pretty much non-existent. You were sitting at a red light, your fingers tapping against your steering wheel as one of Colson’s songs played through your speakers softly.

You reached to turn up the volume as the light turned green. You pressed the gas, your car moving forward into the intersection. Suddenly you heard a loud squeal of brakes, looking over to your passenger window to the sight of two headlights barreling towards you. You tried to speed up to get out of the way, but it was too late.

The truck rammed straight into the side of your small car, pushing your vehicle over into the car next to you. You put your left arm up to shield you from any flying debris, but it was futile. The infrastructure of your car fell apart at the force, the dashboard collapsing onto your right leg. Luckily, your left leg managed to avoid the destruction.

You could barely feel the force of the whiplash due to the pain in your abdomen at the deployment of the airbag. Glass from the car next to you fell into your car through your open window, cutting into your skin.

And then all of a sudden, everything stopped. The truck that had hit you had stopped moving, allowing you to fully assess the damage. Your car was totaled for sure, and your leg was definitely crushed. You cried out in pain, breathing heavy and trying to see straight. You could hear the sound of sirens in the distance, giving you some sense of relief.

When the paramedics got to the scene, you were the last passenger to be taken out of the crash due to your car being in the center. A firefighter had to break the glass of your windshield, which was already cracked, in order to pull you out. When you told him your leg was stuck under the dashboard, he sent a team of men to lift it from your foot and another to pull you out of the wreckage.

They were all amazed you were still conscious but got very worried when you told them you couldn’t feel the pain in your leg. You rode in an ambulance to the hospital, the EMTs helping pick the glass from your skin and assessing your injuries. You made jokes with them to calm yourself down, something that you did with Colson and Rook whenever they got into accidents while you were out with them.

You thought about giving them Colson’s name when they asked about your emergency contact but decided against it. You didn’t want to worry him until absolutely necessary. You figured you’d see what the doctor had to say and if you wouldn’t be able to come back to work, then you would tell him.

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what the doctor said. In fact, you wouldn’t be able to leave the hospital for at least a week due to your shattered leg, bruised abdomen, and concussion.

The leg would require at least 2 if not more surgeries to repair and you would be on close watch for development of a more serious brain injury. After that you most likely wouldn’t be able to be back on your feet for another 8 to 12 weeks, which was kind of a requirement for your job.

It was almost 5am, so you weren’t necessarily thinking straight when you called Colson from your cracked phone. He answered, his voice conveying how tired he was. “Y/N? Everything okay?”

“Hey Kells, I’m not gonna be able to come in early tomorrow, or at all. I’m gonna start looking for a temporary replacement tomorrow if I’m feeling up to it. Oh! And I couldn’t send those tracks to the board, sorry.” You told him, only half registering the words you were saying.

The confusion was evident in his voice, “what? Why do you need to find a replacement?”

You realized you had forgotten to tell him what happened. “Oh, yeah! It’s kind of funny.” You started, chuckling but then realizing that laughing made your stomach hurt even more. “And by funny, I mean not funny at all. I got into a car accident. Some dude ran into my car in an intersection and now I’m in the hospital.”  

“Which hospital?” Colson asked, suddenly much more awake.

“Hollywood Presbyterian.” You told him, “why?”

He sounded like he was rushing around, which he was. “I’m coming to see you.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, “why? I’m fine, you don’t need to do that. You have a big interview tomorrow, you should sleep.”

Colson sighed, “fuck the interview, I’ll be there in a few.”

“Colson you don’t-“ You started, but he hung up before you could tell him not to come.

Why was he rushing to see you in the hospital? Sure, you were friends, but he had much more important things to worry about right now. And besides, you were more casual work friends. He wouldn’t even know you existed if you didn’t work for him. Sure, you had a huge crush on him, but he was your boss, you were just someone he asked to do things he didn’t want to do.

 20 minutes later Colson ran into the hospital room, stopping when he saw you in the bed. Your face was red from chemical burn and a few cuts of glass. Your right leg was propped up with basic bandaging around it. His heart broke at the thought of how much pain you had probably been in.

“How are you feeling?” He asked softly, moving to sit in the chair on your left side.

You shrugged, “I’ve been better.”

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He asked, eyes full of pity.

“I didn’t want to bother you unless it was serious. Figured I’d find out if I would have to miss work before telling you.” You said, squeezing your eyes shut as a headache washed over you.

Colson’s mouth gaped open, “you didn’t want to bother me? You got in a car crash and you weren’t gonna call me unless you would have to miss work?”

You shrugged again, “yeah. If my laptop wasn’t completely crushed in the accident I would’ve just found and sent a temp in tomorrow, but obviously that’s impossible.”

“Y/N you’re kidding me, right?” He asked, exasperated. You furrowed your eyebrows in response, causing a sigh to fall from his lips. “Y/N I don’t give a shit about a temp; I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“Oh, I’m fine. A little shaken and these headaches are killer, but they gave me a lot of pain medication so, I’m fine.” You smiled at him, your thoughts racing as you tried to figure out why he cared so much about how you were feeling.

He nodded, hand reaching out and landing on top of yours gently. “So, do they have to do surgery? What all did the doctors say?” He asked, worry in his eyes.

You nodded, “yeah, at least 2 surgeries. One around 11 am and then depending on how that one goes they’ll schedule the next. And they have to watch me to make sure my concussion doesn’t get worse.”

He pulled out his phone, typing away. “What are you doing?” You asked, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I just emailed the PR liaison for Vanity Fair and told them I wouldn’t be able to make it to the interview.” He responded.

“Why did you do that?” You asked through a yawn.

He looked at you like the answer was the most obvious thing in the world, “because I have to be with you right now.”

You were very confused as to why he thought he had to be here. “Colson, I’ll be fine. You should go to the interview. You don’t have to stay here.”

“I do have to be here. I want to be here.” He said, sternly.

“Why?” You asked, trying to keep your eyes open.

“Because I wanna make sure you’re okay.”

“I’ll just call you after the surgery, it’s no big deal.” You responded lazily.

He shook his head, “I want to stay here with you, Y/N. Okay? I care about you.”

You were too tired to process what he was saying at this point, so you just let out a hum. “I need to make sure you’re okay. I need to see you being okay. When you called me, I swear I was gonna have a heart attack if I didn’t see you.” He continued.

You were barely awake at this point, letting out a simple, “I’m okay” before slipping into unconsciousness.

 Suddenly you were back in your car, “Bloody Valentine” playing from your speakers. The sky was dark green, almost like a painting. In front of you, the red light turned green. Like clockwork, you pressed the gas, moving into the intersection. Suddenly, the lights disappeared, and you heard the familiar chilling sound of breaks squealing. You looked over and saw those headlights coming towards you, getting closer and closer, brighter, and brighter.

You screamed at the sight, the familiar paralyzing fear coursing through your body again. “Y/N!” Your name played through the radio. That’s not in the song, you thought. “Y/N!” Colson’s voice rang out again before the truck made contact with your car.

You woke up in a cold sweat to Colson standing over you, hands shaking your shoulders lightly. “Y/N.” He said, relieved when your eyes began to open.

Your entire body was shaking like a poodle and your arms subconsciously reached for Colson, hanging onto his shirt for dear life. “It was just a dream.” He whispered as your eyes darted around the room. “You’re okay.” He reassured you.

“I’m sorry.” You muttered, hands leaving the fabric and moving to cover up your face. “I’m sorry.”

Colson sat on the bed next to you, legs hanging off the side as he stroked your face gently. “It’s okay, baby.” He turned to the nurse who opened the door, a worried expression on her face. He shook his head at her, “sorry, she just had a nightmare. She’s okay.” The nurse nodded but stayed in the room anyways, checking your vitals.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled again, the words seeming to be the only thing you could say.

Colson shook his head, “stop saying that, it’s okay.” You pouted at him, trying to scoot over so he would lay down next to you, but it was way too painful. “What are you doin?” He asked, a smile on his face.

You sighed, “wanted you to sit next to me but I can’t move because of this stupid leg.” You motioned to the leg in question.

Colson chuckled, “I can sit next to you in the chair.”

“That didn’t work last time.” You whined.

He looked at you with an expression that was both amused and confused. You were definitely still high on pain medication. “What didn’t work.”

“It didn’t stop the nightmare.” You frowned, hand reaching for his. He chuckled, standing up fully and looking at the nurse.

She flashed him an amused smile, “If you want, we can try to move her. I don’t know how much we can do without hurting her ribs, though.”

Colson nodded with a gracious smile, “hear that? We can’t move you because of your ribs.”

You glared at him, “I may be very high right now, but I’m not that high.” You said, making him giggle. “She said you could try.”

Colson let out an exasperated sigh, one arm going under your back and the other under your left leg. “Is this what it’s like taking care of me all the time?” He asked and you nodded your head firmly.

“Yep. Except I am much smaller than you, so you have less work to do with me.” You smiled as he lifted you off the bed, which quickly turned into a grimace. “Ow!” You yelped and Colson quickly set you down, slightly closer to the right side of the bed.

“Fuck, sorry princess. Are you okay?” He asked, voice soft.

You nodded, sucking in your bottom lip to block the whimpers of pain that threatened to escape your mouth. “You probably don’t remember, but one time you were so crossed that you called me to pick you up from a party. But you couldn’t make it out of the car, so I had to carry you into your house. And then you demanded to sleep in your own room, so you made me drag you up the stairs instead of passing out on the couch like normal.”

Colson let out a breathy chuckle, glad you weren’t hurt too much. He carefully sat onto the cot next to you, pulling up his right leg to sit on the bed. His arm wrapped around your shoulders and pulled you into him slightly. You shifted so that you were comfortable, left hand finding his own left hand and holding it. He brought his left leg up onto the bed so he was fully laying with you.

Your head rest on his chest, a soft smile on your face as his thumb rubbed circles on your hand. The nurse left, satisfied that you wouldn’t hurt yourself further. Colson pressed a small kiss to the top of your head, causing your eyebrows to furrow.

“What time is it?” You asked him, to which he responded by pulling out his phone and showing you the lock screen. 8:47am. You nodded, a frown on your face, “did you get any sleep?” You asked him softly.

“I’m fine, I was asleep for a few hours before you called me.”

You sighed, feeling guilty. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

You felt him shake his head from behind you, “I’m staying right here.”

Despite wanting to force him to go home, you couldn’t help the happiness you felt at his stubbornness to stay with you. “You know you don’t need to be here. I won’t be offended if you leave.”

He chuckled, “stop trying to get me to leave. I’m here. On my own accord, okay? I’m gonna take care of you.”

You paused, thinking about the word floating around your head. “Why?” you whispered.

Colson’s face scrunched in confusion, “what do you mean “why”? Because you’re my friend and I care about you.”

“I mean, yeah. But I’m not like a “drop everything” kind of friend, I’m just your assistant.” You muttered.

Colson made an “are-you-serious?” face and let out a snort. “Seriously? You are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You mean the world to me, of course I’d drop everything for you.”

You couldn’t think of a response, his words making your heart race. “oh.” Was the best you could come up with.

“Y/N, seriously, you think way too low of yourself. You’re amazing.” He said, nose burying into your hair.

You shrugged, “you only say that because I take care of you when you’re drunk and help you do all the things you don’t want to do.”

Colson’s expression softened, a frown forming on his face. “I’m saying that because I think the world of you. You’re the kindest, funniest, coolest person I know. I meant it, when you told me you were in the hospital, my heart almost stopped. I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about you being hurt.” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, “I wish you could see how much you mean to me.” He mumbled.

You were quiet for a little while, processing what he had said. “You’re only saying that because I’m in the hospital.” You muttered, a frown on your face. You were trying to keep your hopes low, knowing once you were out of here, he would regret saying any of this.

“Y/N, are you being serious right now? I’m saying this because I’ve been fucking in love with you for the past year and a half.” He said and you could feel your breath catch in your throat. “I can’t believe you don’t see it.”

You bit your lip, turning to look up to him. “I just- I didn’t want- you wouldn’t.” You stumbled over your words, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “I didn’t want to read too much into it or get my hopes up. I figured you’d never be into someone like me so I just told myself you were being nice. I thought you only treated me well because I worked for you.” You mumbled.

He frowned, holding you tighter to him, “I am so, so into you. You are the only woman in my life who has ever stuck by me through my worst shit. Like even when I was a total jackass you stayed with me. How could I not fall in love with you?”

You bit your lip, tears threatening to spill at his sweet sentiment. You’d never had anyone say something that kind about you. You’d always assumed people only kept you around because you did stuff for them, but here was the man you were in love with telling you that he cared about you for you.

“I love you too.” You whispered, leaning your head further into his chest.

[milf-harrington]

hi there! i saw your post about not really involving yourself in discourse anymore and i totally get that, but i just had one question: i'm writing a fic in which zuko and sokka are both trans. there's one particular scene where sokka has to agressively remind zuko to take a binding break (in a loving way lol), and i'm just wondering if this kinda perpetuates bad stereotypes or almost falls under the guise of the cis savior trop?

for me, considering sokka is trans then it doesn't fit under the cis saviour trope (:

but is he reminding zuko bc he thinks zuko doesn't know that, or bc zuko consciously decides to overbind? like, is he being Nitpicky Superior Trans Person or is he being Concerned (Boy)Friend who knows Zuko will hurt himself?

if it's out of genuine concern, and he and zuko are familiar and friendly with each other and it's not coming off as condescending then yeah it's fine!!

like- i've had one of my trans friends stand there at 5am with their arms crossed until i finally crumpled and went and took my binder off bc i'd definitely overblown the 10hr mark and they care about me; if it had been one of my cis friends i woulda been grouchy but i would have done it; and if it had been one of my cis friends but it was barely over the 9hr mark i would've been annoyed, yknow?

[fi-chanwrites]

:o omg could i get some hcs of todoroki and kaminari and maybe aizawa with a s/o who's sleep schedule's gone all kinds of weird bc of quarantine? thank u!

AHHHH MY FIRST BNHA IM EXCITED.

Quarantine = No Sleep

Todoroki Shoto

Lets be real, this boy would keep the most regular sleep schedule

he is in bed for 11pm every night and awake for 6 am every morning

he would wake up and text you every morning to check if you were asleep. You never are.

You phone him as soon as he’s awake so you can talk to him before you sleep the day.

always fall asleep on the phone and h/e finds it absolutely adorable.

“are you not getting enough (y/n)-chan? That’s bad for you, you need to get regular sleep to function properly.”

“But shooooo, I don’t need to function properly... its quarantine”

“(y/n) it is 6 in the morning, please get some sleep darling”

“WE WILL NEVER SLEEP, COS SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK” Todoroki sighed down the phone, making you let out a giggle before yawning,

“plus I wanna talk to you more Sho, I’ve missed you” the little pout that adorned your lips made Todoroki weak, he couldn’t help but smile at you.

He saw your eyelids starting to close and heard your breathing even out, you were finally going to sleep. The cycle continued for days, you would call him when he first woke up and he had to convince you to sleep but it would be a bold faced lie if he said he didn’t love seeing your sleepy face every morning.

Kaminari Denki

We all know this boy is in the exact same boat as you.

Like he’s the one who’s been keeping you up til like 2 am on video calls

“don’t go to bed yet, I’ll miss you” complete with a pouty face and everything, like who can say no to that.

If you’re not talking on the phone then you’re texting eachother, texting “Good morning” even if its 5pm for you...

Both of you are vibing with bags under your eyes, living your best/worst lives

“are you falling asleep? its only 5am, thats weak”

“shut up Denki I’m tired lemme sleep for once”

You two would fall asleep on ft almost every night, like you’ll fall asleep and he just won’t hang up. He finds your breathing calming and it lulls him to sleep himself

“How long have we been on call now baby?” you asked him, yawning which just drove your point forward.

“ummm it says eight hours bumble bee” he smirked, already knowing that you were about to fall asleep again.

About five minutes later you were out like a light, Denki laid the phone near his pillow on his bed. All he could hear were the soft rises and falls of your chest as you breathed heavily. It was five in the morning on a Monday, normally the twoof you would have to be up in only an hour but of course quarantine ruined that.

He missed seeing you in person everyday, being able to hold you close and kiss you, but he would have to deal with seeing you through a screen for a little while longer.

He fell asleep, content with the idea that he would be able to speak to you again tomorrow, listening to your calm breath as his lullaby

Aizawa Shouta

Living with this man, he is so done with your shit, like he can hear you crying over anime at 3am and he’s just like “wtf am I dating?”

Will stay up with over weekends when he has marking to do.

Honestly relies on your ditzy, sleep deprived state to keep him entertained while he’s working.

You’re legit sleeping the day away while he’s busy working because you’ve been let off work completely for the time being.

He’d just be spooning with you, unable to sleep because you’re still on fuckin tiktok

man is ready to throw your phone across the room, he just wants to cuddle his girlfriend dammit

Aizawa turned over to cuddle into your back only to be greeted by the glow of your phone screen, and your shoulders shaking from your silent giggles.

“You should be asleep by now kitten” he mumbled into your shoulder, kissing the exposed skin slightly, his lips tickling you with each movement.

“Just one more... I promise” 

“(y/n) you said that an hour ago too, and you will continue saying it until its morning, then you’ll just sleep all day and I won’t have anyone to keep me company”

You sighed rolling over to face him, burying your head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around you.

“Fine I’ll go to sleep... I love you” 

“ I love you too idiot”

Tagging: @gulfwanq @happynoodle

[charmed-and-alarmed]

We all know that Aziraphale hates customers. But I submit that he LOVES grad students.

- if asked (by Crowley, solely to fluster his Angel) he will say that it's completely reasonable to love people who want to study and discuss books? And that feeling he gets when they come and ask him for help isn't Pride no. It just so happens that having lived for millennia means he's the best primary source on the planet. It would be selfish to not share his knowledge really. Why shouldnt he feel good about helping young people learn? So it's really only lowercase 'pride' at most...

- ...I mean, it's just harmless satisfaction that he is spreading knowledge like God intended. Err, probably intended. This knowledge isnt that Forbidden Knowledge so it's fine, right? They're way past that at this point. Surely there is no objection to knowing about books?

- if you were to ask Crowley, he will point out that grad students can't afford to actually buy any books. But no one has ever asked him

- back when the shop first opened, poor Aziraphale was struggling with the realization that people might get suspicious if never lets anyone buy any of his books. And in walks in some poor, exhausted student from Kings or London University who has spent the last 10hrs looking in every bookstore and library around for an original copy of 'The Tamer Tamed'. So they stumble in, turn to Aziraphale and ask if he has any 17th century editions of Fletcher's work. They just need to look at it bc every copy they've found has been edited.

- does Aziraphale have a 17th century editions of Flecher's 'The Woman's Prize, or The Tamer Tamed'? What an absurd question! He has the first edition, printed in 1647. Two copies in fact, one with notes in the margins written by an early actor that Aziraphale particularly liked. It was, after all, one of Crowley's favorite plays from that period.

- (Crowley claims that he has nothing to do with the plays popularity when compared to the work it was in response to, 'The Taming of the Shrew'. Yes, he preferred the feminist-leaning work by Fletcher, but it's not his fault the audience agreed with him) [1]

- the look on this students face when Aziraphale sits them down at his desk and brings over this folio - full of relief and gratitude - have the angel feeling a bit chuffed. So much so that, as he's closing the shop for the day, he tells them to come back tomorrow if they need another look. And thus one of the great student pilgrimages of London is born

- at the beginning of each term, new students make their way to this strange, magical bookstore run by a nice, possibly-immortal man. Group visits are discouraged, as they seem to make the owner nervous.

- fellow students (and sometimes professors) warn newcomers that the owner doesn't actually want people to buy any books. But if go and tell him that you just want to look at them for a class, he will let you come and look around.

- actually, browsing isn't recommended: depending on his mood, Mr. Fell (the owner) may encourage you to look around or he may decide to suddenly close early, or find some way to get you out the door. It's always safest to ask Mr. Fell for something specific, the more obscure the better: he likes it when he has the exact thing you're looking for

- there are snakes in the shelves - well, one snake, probably. Just like Mr. Fell, this snake has been hiding in the shelves since the store opened and never ages. It loves to jump out and scare customer, but is generally considered harmless unless you damage or mistreat the books. There are numerous accounts of people being bitten for dog-earing pages, putting cups on books, and general rudeness.

note: do not refer to the snake as Mr. Fell's pet. He tends to get rather indignant if you do (Mr. Fell, not the snake. If anything, you would think the snake finds Mr. Fell's reaction amusing) Think of it as his slightly terrifying roommate who occasionally hides in the shelves or curls up by/on Mr. Fell to nap

- A. Z Fell & Co had the world's least comprehensible business hours. He could be closed for days or weeks at a time, then open 24hrs for a month without explanation. Often, he would open at 4 or 5AM then close around lunch, then open again after he finished lunch (anywhere between 1 and 4PM). There was one 11 year span when the shop was almost always closed - university's saw a drop in grades in several departments until it finally opened again. If he recognizes you, sometimes you will arrive to find the store closed, only for him to suddenly open the door and let you in because he was "just about to open up".

- Mr. Fell can easily be bribed when someone needs to stay after closing or come in early the next day. Down the block and across the street is a bakery: it has had many names over the years, but it has been supplying students with bribes in the form of cream puffs, eclairs, Turkish delights, and other sweet treats since the bookstore opened. Students scrambling before a deadline got 10 cents off their purchase.

- while he never seems to know what day it is, or what year it is (see: immortal), he always remembers when it's time for exams because suddenly the shop is open at all hours, and Mr. Fell "just so happens" to have trays of sandwiches and fruit leftover, and wouldn't they help him finish it? It'll spoil, after all. Outside food and drinks are never allowed but suddenly there are little plates and napkins on a table by the door, and stacks of strange coasters from all over the world. Coffee is not allowed but tea is. Of course, everyone knows that Mr. Fell makes the BEST hot cocoa and if you put a coaster next to you, he will bring you a mug of cocoa, always at the perfect temperature.

- as revisions comes to a close, you will find almost a dozen students at Fell & Co. They will be slumped at a desk or curled up on the floor by the windows, cups of cooling cocoa and plates of healthy snacks left in places where they couldn't spill onto the books. Colorful blankets come out of a back room as Mr. Fell tidies up, smiling fondly as he drapes them over the slumbering students

- there are stories of people whose old, cruddy laptops seem to work better in the bookshop. People listening to music (quietly, of course) may notice that the songs that come up on shuffle are always exactly what they wanted to hear. Notes you could have sworn you left at home or lost show up at the bottom of your bookbag. Documents you should have lost when your computer crashed can be recovered. One Martin Pryce insists that in 2014, he brought his broken bike to the store and when he came out again, it was fixed. He actually went up to Mr. Fell as he closed shop and asked him about it but Mr. Fell insisted he had nothing to do with it. Martin says Mr. Fell sounded like he was telling the truth, but looked very pleased and muttered something about it being a "minor miracle", which is a bit much for a bike.

- if there are a thousand stories about Mr. Fell and his bookshop, there are just as many about the man in the fancy black car who comes around sometimes. Many have speculated on the nature of the men's relationship, ranging from torrid love affairs to blackmail to Dickensian-level family drama. But the only thing you really need to know is that when you see that fancy black car parked by the shop, you best just to home. The store is most definitely closed.

1. One account survives of the audiences reactions to the two plays. 'Shrew' was performed first and was "liked". 'Tamed Tamed' was performed after and it was "very well liked". Whether or not this account is from Crawley is impossible to say.

Now with a a furiously doting Crowley sequel

Aaaand a fanfic 

[writerman]

Prompt: Thranduil and Bard went to college together but yearned from afar. Some 20ish years later they see each other again bc their kids go to college together. They weren't even aware that they lived in the same town until Legolas and Sigrid come back for vacation. Kind of like the last prompt I sent you.

Hallo, friend!

Please find my response to your prompt below. Thank you for supporting my stories by sending in prompts for me to respond to.

Please enjoy!

---------------

It was 5am the airport was deserted and Bard really, really wished he’d filled his travel cup with coffee before he had left the house to collect Sigrid from her flight home. 

It was freezing inside and outside with winter well and truly settled in for the holidays, the snow had finally stopped and Sigrid had assured her father their flight had not been cancelled but her friend she was travelling with had booked an earlier flight to be sure they’d get back the day they wanted. 

The blast of colder air from behind him and the sound of the automatic doors meant he was now not the only one in the airport and when he turned around he was greeted with someone bundled up in a long black fur coat and deep green scarf that covered half of their face. Though they wore no hat and their long white-blond hair was dusted with snow that had started lightly falling again outside. 

They stood a few feet away from him and gazed up at the arrivals screen which wasn’t even switched on before they huffed with irritation and turned to Bard tugging down their scarf so they could speak to him. 

Though, Bard was not ready for 1) how maddeningly gorgeous the man was and 2) how it appeared to be his old crush and roommate Thranduil from university some 20 years ago. This did not go unnoticed by the blond who broke into a bright smile as his expression changed from cold indifference to joyful recognition. 

“Bard!” He moved forward without prompting and slung his arms around Bard’s shoulders in a tight embrace. “Ah, how long has it been since we last saw one another?” 

It had definitely been at least 20 years since they parted ways in University to chase their dreams with a youthful exuberance that no longer existed within them. That boundless energy at the prospect of seeing the world, true blue-sky thinking with their hopes tripping from their tongues regaling all who would listen regarding their futures. 

What had Thranduil done with his life?

What had happened to have the man come back to Dale of all the places in the world to settle?

“I had no idea you were in town, what brings you here?” Bard asks as they broke the embrace, he tried to hide the fact his face had flushed pink the second Thranduil had thrown his arms around him. 

“I’ve lived here for years, what about you?” 

How strange it was, Bard had never seen him wandering the streets, not even once in the 10 years he had been settled there in Dale. 

Flight 206 Arriving from Mirkwood Intl at 5:30 am has been delayed. 

The booming yet cheery voice over the tannoy gave Bard heart failure but the dismay at hearing Sigs flight had been cancelled was enough to cover the thundering of his heart.

When he looked to Thranduil he looked equally upset and he turned on his heel and headed towards the door. 

“Come on, let’s not hang about, while I loathe the place, MacDonalds is open and they serve semi-decent coffee. It’s better than hanging about here.” Thranduil looked over his shoulder with a small smile and Bard, O, he followed behind the blond like a puppy, the same as he had all those years ago.

He was still a puppy, and still absolutely harbouring a ridiculous crush and still terrified of confronting those feelings. Somethings just never changed, not even after 20 years, a marriage and children.

And so, that was how Bard found himself sat in the plastic chairs of a booth in the fast-food restaurant catching Thran up on his life, the loss of his wife and the kids. It seemed the blond had a similar story just with one less child and they sat in tense silence for a few moments before Thranduil leaned over the table and put his hand over Bard’s with a coy smile. 

“As inappropriate as this may sound after our conversation,” He glanced around the empty restaurant lobby before continuing. “I had such an infatuation with you when we were at university. Gods it took over my life at one point, nothing obsessive, I promise but I was absolutely in love with you,” He sat back almost immediately after he’d finished speaking, clearly feeling better now he had admitted his secret. 

The information did not help Bard in the slightest. 

“What about now?” Bard ventured feeling brave for literally no reason other than perhaps he was over-caffeinated and it was now just after 6 in the morning. “Ahah, I don’t know why I asked that. Gods, it’s too early, who books a flight this early?” Bard tried to cover his embarrassment with an inane question but Thranduil waved that away looking so serious suddenly. 

“What about now?” Thranduil mirrored the words, but the emphasis was solely on the last word and Bard couldn’t hold his gaze to the blond any longer and instead stared at the plastic lid of his coffee cup. 

“Aren’t we too old to be working through ancient crushes?” Bard asks quietly, he lifts his drink to his lips and feels the still scalding liquid slide down his throat. It was the only distraction at his disposal and being unable to talk due to it sounded like the best thing for him and his mouth that seemed to run off without engaging his mind. 

“You think now you’ve hit your 40s you cannot go in search of love?” Thranduil asked, arching an eyebrow and still managing to look elegant even when unimpressed. “Don’t age yourself in such a way. Personally, yes, I struggled with the loneliness and finding new relationships for the longest time but I always knew I deserved to love again and again.” 

Surely it as easier for Thranduil to find someone to adore him. No that wasn’t fair, adoration wasn’t love. 

“Did you find love again, you didn’t mention you married again.” Bard cast his gaze to Thranduil’s hands, long fingers still smooth and as pale as he remembered… musicians hand he had always said and Thranduil had always enjoyed playing the piano when they had any sort of downtime from studying. 

There was no ring though. 

“Ah, no. It is difficult to find love and raise children at the same time. But now that Legolas is in university and Tauriel is in high school, perhaps I can try again. What about yourself?” 

There is no time for a reply as Bard’s phone begins to play the Coca Cola Christmas music signalling a call from one of his kids. 

It is Sigrid, their flight had just landed and she was currently waiting for her luggage and was he at the airport?

Both men spring from their seats and exit hastily in a bid to get to the airport before their children realise they had been sat cosied up in a MacDonalds trying their hardest not to flirt with one another.

They had failed, of course. 

Again, they went their separate ways, collecting their children and bidding one another happy holidays before heading to their separate cars likely not seeing another again. 

That was until the next day and Bard is sat on the sofa struggling to wrap Tilda’s Christmas gifts while she was out, Sigrid wanders in and hands him a piece of paper with a contact number written out neatly in her own handwriting. 

“Legolas said his dad wanted you to have his number in case of a flight delay like the last time.” A flimsy excuse and she saw right through it, Bard knew that when she grinned and plucked the half-wrapped gift from his hands to finish for him. 

“I think you should probably go call him.” It wasn’t a hint, it was an order and Bard wasn’t sure he enjoyed his children knowing anything about his love life, not like this anyway… but, rather than argue with her about anything to do with Thranduil, he merely nodded and headed to the kitchen dialling the number into his phone’s keypad as he did so. 

Thranduil answered on the second ring with a very smooth and professional greeting which melted away into a warm and friendly tone as soon as he realised it was Bard on the other end of the line. 

That was nice.

It was nice that Thranduil seemed excited to hear from him. 

“I want to get straight to the point, Thran.” Bard began realising it was far easier to talk about his feelings when the icy blue of Thranduil’s eyes weren’t rooting him to the spot speechless like they had all those years ago. “I had a crush on you in university and I hate saying crush because I’m 40 fucking years old but it never went away and I was hoping I could take you out for dinner sometime?”

There was a sigh of relief from Thranduil’s side of the line and when he spoke Bard could hear the smile in his voice.

“Look who is being so brave. You garnered the courage before I could- you win this time. I’d love to have dinner with you. I admit, being wined and dined by Bard Bowman sounds like a dream.” That was a rather big statement to make and Bard forced the oddly youthful giddiness forced down back inside himself before he said something to ruin it all. 

“A dream? How am I a dream date?” He didn’t really want to know, he was afraid Thranduil would tell him he was the perfect kind of dull for a man his age, even if that sounded out of character for the blond it was still a fear.

“Oh come on, you just want me to stroke your ego. But, fine, I suppose you deserve it after all these years.” Thranduil sounded like he was shifting to get comfortable before he spoke again, “You’re incredibly handsome, and you seemed to have gotten even better with age. You’re kind and gentle and you’re funny. I like a man that can make me laugh.”

Funny? 

He’d never been called funny before, perhaps he had been a comedian in university but he couldn’t recall, however, if Thranduil thought he was that was enough for him. 

“Ok, ok, you’ve made your point, I’m your dream man. That works well for me, so if I stuff this up I still have a chance?”

There was laughter from Thranduil and the deep rumble of it made Bard lightheaded for a second before he brought himself firmly back to planet earth to ask the most important question.

“So, when would you like to meet?” 

“Hmm, is tonight too soon?” No, no it was not, even if Thranduil had asked to meet him an hour from then he would agree. 

After all, hadn’t they spent enough time apart already?

There was no need for him to play hard to get or even casual. 

“Tonight is fine, I will pick you up at 8. Text me your address and I will see you then.”

“I am looking forward to it.”

When the call disconnected Bard wandered past the living room where Sigrid was sat talking quietly on the phone, she spotted her dad and grinned knowingly giving him a thumbs up.

He received a text later that day from Thranduil containing his address and then another right after simply saying:

I have the house to myself tonight ;) 

The night would be an eventful one but who was Bard to complain? 

This year was going to have a very different ending to all those he had spent in the past alone. Even if he was terrified of this whole new adventure, at least he was doing it with someone who wanted to be by his side for the entire ride.

[tranquiltatsumi]

God okay since the canon dorm assignments are fucking insane and honestly look like someone threw darts at a chart to decide where people would be, let's talk about the potential unit dorms- which actually Make Sense- have. I spent a lot of time thinking ab this earlier so here's some hcs:

(Note: Some of these are shippy! Includes Kurokei, Adosou, Kaorei and Ritsumao! Just thought I'd prewarn yall)

Subaru wakes the rest of trickstar up at like 5am every day bc he has too much energy and makes too much noise. Hokke throws everything in reach, including his alarm clock, in an attempt to make him shut up

When was the last time Mao actually slept in his bed? Nobody knows. They have a "you work too hard" intervention pretty much monthly

Kuro and Keito share bunks despite the fact that this almost always ends with Keito on the floor bc Kuro moves too much in his sleep

they always make sure Souma is getting enough rest. very hypocritical of Keito to lecture him about the values of sleep when he didn't come back to the dorm until 3am and there's 12 empty red bull cans in the bin that was emptied last night.

Natsume puts small, mostly harmless curses on tsumugi while he sleeps. things like making it so his shoelaces will always come untied. Mugi considers them friendly pranks (and fair game considering his war crimes)

on the flip side he uses his magic to make things good for Sora. if he had a bad day Natsume will stay up just a little later to make a spell that gives him the happiest dream he ever had. Sora doesn't know he does this.

Ra*bits have movie nights every friday n they have a movie picking rota so that everyone gets a fair shot. they build a blanket fortress to sit in while they watch the movie

Ra*bits cuddle puddle is a common occurrence. they just fall asleep in a pile. Ra*bits 100% most wholesome family

Hajime makes everyone tea every morning without fail, and he's learned what kinds of tea they like and saves to buy a few boxes of each. When Eichi finds this out he starts gifting hajime very specific boxes of tea. tea club gotta stick together

Kaoru is forced to confront his gay thoughts because Rei is too goddamn pretty even in the mornings and he can't ignore it anymore.

Eventually it becomes a common occurrence for Adonis or Koga to wake up and see Rei in Kaoru's bunk (they don't both fit in the coffin. Rei is unimpressed by this)

Adonis spends more time in Akatsuki's dorm than Undead's and Rei is developing concerned dad syndrome- he doesn't know why Adonis is "avoiding" them (don't tell him he's dating Souma he's gonna be so dramatic ab it)

Mao still has to wake Ritsu up every day bc even tho the other members of Knights are there to do it, Ritsu refuses to listen to them.

Izumi has literally sat on him before ad Ritsu went right back to sleep until Mao arrived.

when Mao knocks on the door someone always goes "Hey Ritsu your boyfriends here" and before the two of them actually start dating poor Ritsu gets so embarrassed he refuses to get up even for Mao, because he's bright red and doesn't need Mao seeing him like that.

with both Izumi and Arashi living there, the bathroom has So Much makeup in it. Too much makeup. Most of it is Arashi's considering Izumi spends most of his time in Italy. She has the longest morning routine you will ever see. How is she not always late to class.

One time Leo used eyeliner to write music on the mirror because inspiration struck while he was brushing his teeth. Nobody was particularly thrilled with him for that.

all of Ryuseitai notices Midori's depression like a month after they move into the dorm. cue very concerned chat ab how they can help him and whether he's getting professional help

all of them have forcibly carried him to bed and watched until he fell asleep because he stayed up till 2am to finish work

Kanata fills up the bath and floats in it when he's sad. They have to keep an eye out bc he falls asleep in there sometimes.

Shu still spends most of his time in Paris but he comes back often enough, and similarly to Keito he's a bit of a hypocrite about making sure Mika sleeps enough

Eichi is terrible for drinking too much tea in the evening and not being able to sleep despite being exhausted. Wataru and Yuzuru have taken to offering to make the tea for him and giving him decaf. He knows but he appreciates the gesture so he never says anything.

The fine dorm is often covered in rose petals. If Tori finds one more rose petal under his pillow he's gonna throw Wataru out the window. It doesn't matter that Wataru is like a foot taller than him.