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#which is ridiculous because ive dealt with just so much more pain than this before
erisolkat · 8 months
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haha ow fuck
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itsjaywalkers · 6 months
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for the prompt game: ROSEKILLER 57 WITH BOXER AU IVE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT……….. (also i hope you’re having a fun day off laurie hi hi 🥺🤍)
HI HI SAINTS BELOVED <333 i actually didn't get the day off bc i'm an idiot and i couldn't say no when my coworker asked me to change shifts.. but at least i got home before 10pm which . is unusual for me lmao . and today's shift was actually kinda fun so !!
anyways, hope you're having a lovely day and that u enjoy this silly lil thing <3 first peek into boxer au rosekiller <3 (i went a bit overboard but they've been plaguing my mind and u don't deserve less)
57. "Teach me to fight."
It's been more than half an hour of hitting the punching bag nonstop when Barty finally decides to take a break. It's not even because he's actually tired, despite the sweat he can already feel dripping down his back and his face. It's because his bad shoulder—the right one—dislocated during the last combination he tried, and after Barty puts it back in place, he's gotta wait a little bit before going back to training.
This happens way too often for comfort, but it's not really painful anymore—it never really was, or maybe Barty has simply dealt with much worse. Besides, the longer he ignores it, the more serious it'll get, which means he'll have an excuse to go get another check-up.
His manager already warned him when he first got the injury after that stupid fight with stupid Potter. Barty began to grow restless during recovery time, and then decided his shoulder was fine when it stopped hurting.
Obviously, he was wrong. Except, it only dislocates when he goes too hard, and he's learnt how to put it back in place without issue, so really, technically, he was sort of right. What does his manager know, anyway? As long as Barty continues winning and putting money in that fucker's pocket, there shouldn't be any complaints.
He pulls up his tank top and dries off some of the sweat on his neck and the side of his face, while rolling his shoulder gently, testing the waters before he goes back to punching, when the hairs at his nape begin to stand up.
There's no noise, no sudden sounds. Barty doesn't hear the door opening, or closing, and yet, when he turns around, smirk already pulling at his lips, he isn't surprised to find someone standing right behind him.
"Hey, Rosie," he greets the other man, who blinks at him, completely deadpan. "I didn't know you were still around. Long shift today?"
"Yes, you did," Evan responds, that cool tone of his sending a pleasing chill down Barty's spine. "Know, that is. I'm pretty sure you've got my schedule memorised."
Barty takes a few moments to drop the hem of his shirt, because he notices the way in which Evan's gaze drops to his stomach and stays there for a handful of seconds. His expression doesn't change, there isn't even a flicker of something in his face, but the attention is more than enough for him.
"Well, you left your email open and your laptop in my near vicinity." Barty shrugs, eyes running up and down Evan's body. He's still wearing that sexy white coat of his, the shirt underneath it perfectly buttoned and tucked inside his jeans.
There's barely any skin showing, because Evan is a little weirdo, but there's some ankle peeking, since the pants are ridiculously tight on him and the legs keep riding up slightly.
Honestly, it's like he's doing it on purpose. Barty can't be blamed if he ends up hard under his sweats. He can already feel some blood rushing south just at the sight of that tiny sliver of soft brown skin.
"And you downloaded my rotas?" Evan guesses, tilting his head to the side.
"Nah," Barty says, crossing his arms over his chest, flexing a little. "Didn't have to. I've got a damn good memory. I read over them for a couple of minutes until they stuck."
Evan nods, not fazed in the slightest.
"That's why you only come in when I'm on shift," Evan states, and it's not a question. He doesn't seem surprised, or freaked out, but then again, he barely shows any emotions. Apart from irritation, that is, and that one's reserved for when Barty is being especially pushy. Or especially horny.
"I don't think I've ever seen any of the other nurses a single time in my life," Barty tells him with a chuckle.
"You have," Evan retorts, and his eyes narrow the tiniest bit. Barty feels a pull in his stomach. "You were talking to Betty three weeks ago, after your match against Black. The bad one. You let her check your shoulder."
Barty lets out an incredulous laugh, not sure on where to focus first, going dizzy with how badly he wants this freak of a man.
He's obsessed with the way in which Evan always seems to get the urge to clarify which Black he's talking about, as if it's not obvious, considering only one of them fights. How he's always so precise, never allowing any ambiguity into his sentences. How almost nothing seems to hold his focus apart from his experiments and medicine and his patients' injuries, and yet, here he is, remembering when Barty talked to someone else momentarily.
"Did I?" Barty asks innocently, biting the inside of his cheek to keep his shit-eating grin at bay.
"Yes," Evan responds, a little furrow appearing between his eyebrows. "She was touching you."
"Was she?" The corners of Barty's mouth are twitching so much he's sure he must look like an absolute maniac.
"Yes," Evan repeats, some exasperation slipping into his voice. "She wasn't even doing it right. She kept kneading the muscle in the same place, instead of checking the ligament, and she did this for more than five minutes, even though it takes seconds to find out about a dislocation—"
"Rosie," Barty cuts him off gently, watching, with no little amount of delight, how Evan's frown worsens. "I didn't even know her fucking name. I couldn't give less of a fuck about stupid Betty, or whatever the hell she's called."
Evan blinks slowly. "But you—"
"I was tired and sore after that match, my shoulder was bothering me, and she was there. My manager told her to check my shoulder, just in case I had fucked it up beyond solution, but if I had known you were around she wouldn't have laid a single finger on me."
There's a beat of silence, Evan's dead eyes searching all over Barty's face, assessing and determined. He smirks at him, which results in Evan huffing and looking away.
"Don't do it again," it's what he ends up mumbling, and if Barty didn't know any better, he'd dare to say Evan is close to pouting. "You're my patient."
Barty raises both eyebrows, a deranged smile splitting his face while he perks up like a goddamn dog. "Is that jealousy I'm hearing, Rosie?"
"No," Evan drawls, straightening up. "It's just the truth. You're not my only patient, you know? But if you're getting treated by me, then you're not allowed to see any other nurses."
"Damn, way to make a man feel special," Barty scoffs, but he does actually kind of mean it. Which he's aware might be a bit pathetic, but, well, he'll be whatever the fuck Evan wants him to. "Wasn't interested in seeing any other nurses, anyway."
"Good." Evan nods, almost to himself, and Barty has to make an active effort not to coo. "Are you done training?"
Barty blinks a couple of times, slightly taken aback, both by the sudden change of topic and by Evan entertaining conversation. Normally, talking to the other boy feels like pulling teeth—oh, man, Rosie would fucking love this comparison—which Barty doesn't mind because he finds it incredibly fun. Unless Evan is going on one of his medical rants, and yeah, Barty shouldn't find it as attractive as he does, but it's not like he's ever worked like he's supposed to.
But this? This is new.
"Not really," Barty answers, still feeling off-kilter. He shakes his head, forcibly pulling himself out of his mind. "Why? You wanna join me, Rosie?"
"As a matter of fact, I do."
Barty snorts, assuming that it's a joke, even though he's more than aware that Evan doesn't do jokes, because his humour is way too dark, and rarely finds funny what others do. But Evan's expression doesn't change, and Barty nearly chokes on his own spit.
"Wait, you're serious?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You've never been interested in boxing," Barty points out.
"That's a lie. I watch every match," Evan argues, lips pursed.
"Because you're job kind of forces you to."
"Also a lie. I need to be there when I'm on shift, in case they call for me, but I'm not required to actually watch."
"Yeah, but you still do, because your pretty little morbid head goes absolutely feral at the prospect of seeing some blood."
Evan scrunches his nose, as if disgusted.
"You're wrong," Evan lies, expression giving absolutely nothing away. Really, if Barty didn't already know the truth, he'd be inclined to believe him. "It's got nothing to do with that. I like boxing."
Barty huffs, the noise filled with amusement. "Sure you do, Rosie."
"I really do," Evan insists, always so ridiculously stubborn.
"I don't know who you're trying to convince, but—"
"Teach me to fight."
Barty sputters, brows almost reaching his hairline, and he gapes at Evan, who's still staring at him. He seems unaffacted by Barty's dramatics, but then again, he's unaffected by almost everything.
"The fuck?" he manages to spit out at some point.
"Teach me to fight," Evan says again, a lot slower, as if Barty is some kind of idiot. God, he wans to fucking devour him.
Barty isn't sure of what's going on right now. Evan barely interacts with him outside of their appointments, it's always him reaching out, so he doesn't understand what prompted this. What Evan is hoping to achieve.
"Why?"
"I told you, I like boxing."
"Yeah, okay. And the real reason?"
Evan's tongue pushes against the inside of his cheek, and it's so, so hard for Barty, not to make a very inappropriate joke.
"I'm testing something," he admits, albeit bedgrugingly.
"Ah, so you want me to be your guinea pig," Barty sighs a bit dreamily. "That sounds more like it."
"Sure," Evan agrees with unsurprising ease. "Will you?"
"All you had to do was ask, Rosie."
They get to work right after that. Barty doesn't even bother with suggesting a change of clothes, because he's aware of how well that'd be received. The fact that Evan chooses to take the white coat off is already more than Barty expected.
He tries to show him how to stand, how to do a basic punch. Evan knows most of the basic theory, mostly due to how often he deals with boxing injuries, but he's absolutely helpless when he has to act it out himself.
It doesn't matter how often Barty corrects him; he keeps slouching, stance all wonky. He lacks strength, and he takes a bit too long to protect his face after doing a jab.
The main issue, though, is his obvious lack of interest.
Evan seems to be distracted by something, too inside his own head, and when Barty is about to point this out, poke some fun at him in hopes of getting Evan to snap, the other man speaks again.
"That's enough," he declares, tone leaving no place for argument. "Let's spar."
Barty chuckles, disbelieving, but then Evan is sending a glare his way, and he raises both hands in mock surrender, giving in immediately.
He'll do pretty much whatever the fuck Evan wants him to, really.
They both get into position, and regardless of how much Barty is holding back, trying to give the other man a chance, is actually kind of laughable, how easily he overcomes him.
One moment they're exchanging soft blows, and the next Barty has Evan pinned to the floor, his legs and arms completely immobilised as Barty grins maniacally from above.
"Happy now, Rosie?" he teases.
Evan presses his mouth in a tight line. "Not quite."
"Oh, really? Because I'm starting to think this was all a ruse to get me on top of you."
Evan rolls his eyes so hard Barty worries they might get stuck inside his skull. "I'm afraid that's more your style. And anyway, I don't think it's wise to understimate your opponent like this."
"It's nothing personal, Rosie, but when victory is already mine, I—"
Barty never gets to finish. Evan raises his head so quickly his brain barely registers it, and then he's sinking his teeth hard where Barty's neck meets his shoulder. Until he breaks skin, until he draws blood, until Barty lets out a pained groan and his body goes slack, more in surprise than actual hurt.
A moment later, their positions are reversed. Evan is straddling him, mouth still attached to his skin, and Barty is lying on the cold ground, dizzy and a little bit breathless.
He doesn't know how long they stay like this—definitely not enough—but after a while, Evan lets go and sits up a little, lips stained red. It's dripping down his chin, and when he parts his mouth a little, panting softly, Barty finds out that his teeth are also crimson with blood. With his blood.
Barty groans again.
"You're hard," Evan comments, painfully nonchalant. It's that same casualness he used the first time Barty had an erection during an appointment, after Evan had pulled at the stitches on his leg and stuck his fingers inside Barty's wound.
"Yeah," he breathes out, half-delirious. "Yeah, no shit."
Evan hums, cocking his head to the side, analytical gaze running up and down Barty's body and making him twitch in his pants. The fact that Evan can feel it right under him, between his legs, forces Barty to swallow down a moan.
Barty is about to say something incredibly stupid to maybe, hopefully, alleviate the tension, when Evan leans down once more; this time, slower, more careful.
He's prepared to feel the sting of a bite again, toes curling in excitement, but it never comes. Instead, there's something wet and tentative and soft lapping at the open wound, gathering all the blood there that is still coming out.
It takes Barty a moment to realise it's Evan's tongue.
The knowledge hits Barty like a motherfucking bus. He can't stop a low moan from coming out now, or his hips from thrusting up, searching for something, anything, that Evan might give him.
Surprisingly, and instead of pulling away, the other man makes an odd noise against his skin, and Barty thinks he's imagining it when Evan presses down on him.
He freezes up after that, but only for a second, Evan's licking never stopping. But then Barty moves again, more purposefully, rubbing his erection against the apex of Evan's thighs.
The response is immediate, although definitely unconscious. Evan grinds back experimentally, with no coordination or finesse, dropping another sound into Barty's bleeding wound.
His eyes widen when his brain finally catches up properly, hands coming up to grab at Evan's hips and halt his movements.
"Rosie, are you..." Barty stops, swallows harshly. "Are you turned on right now?"
Evan laps at the blood a few more times before straightening up again, staring down at Barty with unblinking eyes and red all over his face.
"Fuck, are you—?" A laugh, strained and bordering on hysterical. "Are you wet?" He doesn't even need to check to know the answer.
Evans nods, almost imperceptibly. "Apparently so."
He has half a mind to turn them over and fuck Evan into the floor. Until Evan is a whimpering mess. Until he's crying, begging, unable to do anything but fucking take it. Until he's sore, and hurt, and full, but still asking for more. Until he can't say anything else apart from Barty's name, until he's—
"Bloody hell," Barty whispers, shutting his eyes tight and letting out another cackle.
Oh, he's going to die. He's absolutely going to fucking die.
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mari-beau · 3 years
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GIVE ME A REASON: PART SEVEN -A Rogue One fanfic
Final part to this story! 😘😘😘
Read on AO3
Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five
Part Six
Title: Give Me A Reason: Part Seven
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Characters: Jyn Erso POV, Cassian Andor
Pairing: Cassian/Jyn (mostly pre-ship?)
Spoilers: Rogue One; Episode IV A New Hope
Setting: Post-Rogue One AU (Cassian & Jyn live); Also during/post A New Hope
Warnings: None?
Words: 2,888
Story Summary: Jyn’s entire universe has been turned on its head, so maybe she’s clinging a little too hard to the one thing she feels certain of (strangely enough) as she tries to figure out her place in the galaxy. And maybe she’s being a little overprotective of a wounded captain.
Also can be found on AO3.
Nervous.
The hardened rebel spy was nervous. So was Jyn, of course, but it was still a surprise to find the tangible expression of Cassian’s jangled nerves. She thought he’d be better at hiding it. At hiding all of his emotions when he wanted.
But maybe he didn’t feel the need to hide it from her? Although it was a subconscious tick he probably wasn’t aware of… Which wasn’t helping the butterflies in Jyn’s own stomach. In fact, it was really starting to annoy her.
She reached for his hand, wrapping her fingers around his in an attempt to still their drumming against the side of his leg. He was still standing, but with no thanks to the Alliance. The inconsiderate bastards could’ve maybe provided a chair for the wounded captain. Not that Cassian would’ve accepted, anyway. At least everyone was just milling about until the ceremony started, so they were able to take a position against the wall, allowing Cassian to casually lean against the immense stonework for support.
He’d been looking around the large hall, watching the crowd of Alliance personnel and council members, observing and evaluating, as the spy habitually did. But when she touched him, his eyes snapped immediately to her hand on his. They widened and then that furrow formed between his brows and he frowned.
So that was how it was going to be?
In his bed, he could hold her so tight their bodies practically fused together, could nuzzle her neck, his lips could ghost over her skin in tantalizing, teasing non-kisses, he could lean into the touch of her palm on his cheek, make salacious pleased noises when she stroked his head and neck, or trailed fingers down his spine. But any sort of affectionate display in public wasn’t allowed.
Not that she wouldn’t have grabbed his hand to still his annoyingly drumming fingers if they were only just friends. They were only just friends, anyway.
He twisted his hand free, gently, casually, but removed it from her grasp nonetheless.
His dark eyes met hers and she held the gaze. Let him see the hurt, even as she thought it a stupid thing to feel hurt about. And yet… Meeting Cassian Andor had redefined her world, her existence, how she felt, how she dealt with those feelings. Her very place in the galaxy seemed to have changed.
Because here she was in a giant hall in a ruined temple, surrounded by hundreds of Alliance soldiers, waiting for a princess to tell her ‘good job’ or some such. But even stranger, she was standing beside a person she truly trusted. She couldn’t remember ever trusting anyone before, not wholeheartedly, with no reservations, no reluctance or doubt. Not since she was a child living in that cozy home with her parents that now seemed a dream.
This seemed rather dreamlike, too. Mon Mothma, the head of the Alliance’s council, dressed in regal white, looking like some ethereal being -maybe the ones Cassian had told her about in that intimate, vulnerable moment- had entered the hall and a hush formed as everyone scrambled into neat military rows, coming to attention as the elegant woman approached the dias.
She began to give a speech, but Jyn couldn’t focus on it. Cassian had started fidgeting again, shifting his weight and drumming his fingers against his leg. It seemed so entirely unlike him, and yet Jyn could sympathize. She had always tried to maintain an unreadable exterior, too, or rather, she had always tried not to feel things because everything she felt was too painful. She imagined it was similar with Cassian. And she imagined he was likewise nervous now, because being the center of attention felt wrong in every way, and just such a situation was imminent.
Jyn hated the idea of Cassian’s vulnerability being exposed to the world, that he would be required to limp the ridiculous distance up to the dias at the front of the room, in front of everyone, probably with her assistance, if he’d accept it. The man did not deserve anyone’s pity. They should only respect him for everything he’d done for the rebellion, for everything he’d sacrificed. And from what Jyn could tell, he didn’t even want that, it was so ingrained in him to work in the shadows.
She grabbed his hand again, but it was honestly more to calm herself than him. This time, though, his fingers encircled hers and did not pull away. His attention remained on Mon Mothma as she finished up her speech and introduced the princess.
Dank farrik.
Princess Leia was young and pretty, likewise clothed in regal white, but in a dress that hugged her perfect curves and accented the elegant line of her neck. Her brown hair and dark eyes offset her perfect porcelain skin. More enticing, the princess had the bearing of someone like Mon Mothma, but there was something more lively in her, adventurous and passionate maybe. Jyn would’ve felt justified in her previous unwarranted flash of jealousy when Cassian had described Leia Organa as if he knew the young woman, if Jyn didn’t find the princess extremely attractive herself. Force, if it didn’t feel like Cassian had been imprinted on her very soul, and if Jyn’s libido hadn’t already decided it wanted him and no one else would suffice… But a princess would’ve been way out of her league, anyway.
Cassian’s fingers squeezed her hand, and he leaned in, a whisper tickling her ear.
“You’re staring.”
“I’m just paying attention,” she whispered back.
A very quiet chuckle escaped him.
“Sure,” he said and she glared at him but continued to hold his hand, an anchor against the tide of nerves roiling in her stomach. “Why were you surprised that I might... kiss men sometimes? You like both men and women, too?”
“I rarely like anyone.” She stroked her thumb over the soft flesh at the base of his thumb. “But when I’m attracted to someone, it doesn’t seem to matter what their gender is.”
If they were pretty, they were pretty. She couldn’t really say why or what criteria made someone attractive to her. Although Leia had some gorgeous brown eyes. And so did Cassian for that matter, although his were a little darker, and as much playful as perceptive as they studied her face. And maybe she had become so soft that she’d gone to actual mush, because she could stare into those eyes forever.
Was that her thing? Is that what did it for her? Was she an ‘eyes’ girl?
Oh. Maybe she was. Because she found herself utterly captivated by Cassian’s beautiful eyes, finding everything she wanted and more in their dark depths... An if she didn’t know better... She could swear that he wanted-
“Captain Andor. Jyn Erso.”
Jyn nearly jumped out of her skin. Alarm likewise flashed across Cassian’s face before it was promptly hidden by a facade of professional pleasantness as he straightened. His hand slipped out of hers but landed at the small of her back to urge her forward out of the ranks.
And then Jyn found herself face to face with Leia Organa. And felt such gratitude that the princess had come to them and not made Cassian come to her, limping on an unsteady, barely begun to heal leg, that Jyn found herself smiling broadly, genuinely, at the kriffing gorgeous young woman.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done for the rebellion. I know you’ve lost much.”
Jyn bowed her head, although being as small as she was, the even more petite princess still could’ve managed to drape the medal over her head with no problem.
“We all have lost too much,” Cassian said, after bowing to receive his own medal from the princess.
Leia Organa was good at maintaining her facade but Jyn saw the sadness in the young woman’s eyes. Jyn had cried while Cassian was in deep, medicated sleep, when she heard that Alderaan had been destroyed, feeling like she had failed after all. But what pain that loss was to its princess, Jyn couldn’t quite fathom. She had lost much, her parents, her childhood, but she had never loved an entire planet, full of people who she was a leader to. She had sort of led a unit of soldiers. And they all had died. And that was agony.
Except for Cassian. She still had Cassian. And if Jyn was honest, he was more than an entire world to her. He was a kriffing galaxy. She slid her arm around his waist because his hand on her back was not providing enough contact when Jyn felt like she might fall to pieces at any moment.
“I’m truly glad you both survived Scarif,” Princess Leia said, as if the loss of just two more lives would’ve crushed her, that the knowledge that some had survived, that some could and would survive this fight, was what kept her going. “Your bravery has saved us all.”
“Thank you,” Jyn said, unable to think of anything else to say.
The princess inclined her head, a bittersweet smile on her face, before she turned and began walking back to the dias. When Jyn returned her attention to Cassian, he was looking at her again with that expression in his eyes.
“We should probably get back in line,” she whispered, but was unable to break away from his captivating gaze.
“When have you ever been one to stay in line, Jyn Erso?” There was the small flash of his tongue wetting his bottom lip and Jyn nearly forgot how to breathe. No longer fixated by his eyes but his mouth. Was he-
His hand at the small of her back urged her closer, his other hand cupping her face and-
Oh.
Cassian Andor’s kiss was… Perfection. It was everything a first kiss, any kiss should be, excited and eager at the start, making it perhaps a little too rough when his mouth crashed against hers, but then suddenly softer, gentle, a tentative question, which she returned, sliding her lips against his, parting them in invitation, which he accepted, deepening the kiss. He tilted his head, angling his mouth against hers, sucking at her top lip then her bottom, submitting to her own explorative press and slide of her lips, the small nips she made with the edge of her teeth. His tongue darted over her lips, swiping into her mouth just the smallest fraction, just enough to tease and tantalize and make her release a groan of pure carnal want.
The room, the world, had faded away entirely but suddenly came crashing back hard. People were hooting and clapping, whistling and chuckling and shouting lewd, encouraging comments. Cassian broke the kiss, breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against hers for a moment.
He had just kissed her. In front of everyone. They might as well have been standing on that dias, in front of the princess, making out for the entire Alliance to see.
“You kissed me,” she said, still incredulous.
“Yes,” Cassian met her gaze with his dark brown eyes, which seemed to be honest-to-goodness twinkling, for Force’s sake. “And you kissed me back.”
“But, you kissed me. In public. In front of everyone.”
“Yes.” Cassian was a good liar, pretending that it wasn’t a big deal for him to so openly display an emotion such as affection. He shrugged. “It was a bit territorial of me. Sorry.”
Jyn hadn’t even thought of that. She was so busy fighting her possessive feelings for Cassian, it hadn’t occurred to her he might be feeling possessive of her.
“Don’t apologize.” Don’t take it back. Please.
He smiled at her. And parts of her that she hadn’t previously known existed before meeting him, responded, filling her with warmth, as seemed inevitable whenever she was in the glow of that smile of his.
“Let’s get out of here while we can,” he leaned in to whisper, a little closer than necessary so that his mouth was just a couple of teasing inches away from hers.
“Yeah,” Jyn whispered back. “Your leg must be bothering you. I think we need to get you back to bed.”
His mouth twitched and he raised his eyebrows at her. Like he was in any condition to follow through on the innuendo that she actually hadn’t intended.
“Do you know of… er… a back way out of here?” Jyn asked as they ducked back into line. Things seemed to be picking up for the next part of the ceremony. And she’d honestly had enough pomp and circumstance for the day.
“Of course. I’m a spy,” Cassian said, giving Jyn a wink as he took her hand and somehow began to sidle through the ranks of rebel soldiers, weaving seamlessly between them and towing Jyn along, none the worse for wear for his injured leg.
They managed to reach the wall, slide along it and duck into a shadowy corner that was the entrance to a hidden narrow hallway just as all the troops came to attention and did an about face. Apparently the heroes of the Battle of Yavin were making their grand entrance. Jyn would’ve been curious about them if she wasn’t being towed along by the most compelling person she’d ever met, the most frustrating, uptight, passionate, tortured, beautiful man in the galaxy.
Halfway back to his quarters, his limp was worsening, so Jyn pulled her hand out of his and slipped her arm around his waist. It was difficult to say whether he maybe just wasn’t as much a stubbornly independent sort as she thought, or whether he trusted her like no other. But either way, he accepted her help and being snuggled up against him felt like where she belonged.
When they reached his quarters, Cassian collapsed onto his bed with a sigh. It had been a long day, even for her, and she was only recovering from comparatively minor injuries. So she was actually a little surprised when he didn’t immediately pass out. Instead, he gave her that look again.
“Come here.” Sitting up, he reached for her. And Jyn came, more than willingly, practically jumping into his lap, only hesitating when part of her shouted to be careful not to hurt him.
He smiled. Oh, that smile.
“It’s okay.” His hands found her waist. And oh, they fit her curves like they were made to hold her.
“But your injuries. I don’t want-”
“Straddle me.” He tugged gently at her waist. Heat blazed through her, and a wanting she’d never experienced the likes of before. “You can keep your weight off me that way, if you want.”
“Oh, right.” She put a knee on the bed on either side of his thighs, settled onto his lap without -he was right- placing her full weight on him. Cassian made a pleased noise, his hands never leaving her waist, but beginning to stroke up and down her sides, beneath her vest but separated from her bare skin by the fabric of her shirt, which she was honestly a bit thankful for. Her senses, her kriffing emotions, were already overwhelmed, especially when she looked down to find his face tilted up towards hers, his pretty dark eyes fixed on her, showing her everything he kept locked up so deep inside.
His eyes were all soft and imploring, filled with a desperate need to give and receive affection, to be understood and loved, to connect with another person on a soul deep level, emotionally… physically. It made her heart race and her skin prickle with gooseflesh. She had the same longing she had never been able to define before.
Jyn took his face in her hands, leaned down and kissed him. It was as good as the first time. Maybe even better. No less eager for one another, the ambrace was enthusiastic and a bit sloppy. But it slowed to that intense teasing exploration of one another, this time deepened by their tongues eager to taste one another, stroke and caress. The kiss was seeking and answering. It was… It was...
Kissing Cassian was a revelation. Not just confirmation that her attraction to him was reciprocated, but a soul-baring epiphany.
Most of her life, all of her adult life, Jyn had had nothing beyond surviving, no reason for living besides that death was the alternative. Cassian had tried to give her one, give her the Cause, his cause, the Rebellion. And for a while, she’d adopted it. She would still make it hers. But she was too cynical for it to be her reason for living. And if she was truly honest with herself, it was only her Cause because it was his.
Cassian Andor had given her something to live for, something to fight for, but it wasn’t what either of them pretended it was.
He was her reason. He was her Cause.
The kiss broke, and Jyn rested her forehead against his, the need to be close persisting despite the biological requirement that they break for want of air. His hands released her waist to cradle her face.
“Cassian…” She could barely recognize her own breathy whisper, could not find any words.
His thumbs stroke her cheeks and he sighed, his voice low and husky when he spoke.
“Me, too, Jyn. Me, too.”
END
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foxyotomelady · 5 years
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It wasn’t supposed to be, Chapter XI (JuminxOC/Reader)
Author’s notes:
Extremely long chapter :o
Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI | Chapter VII | Chapter VIII | Chapter IX | Chapter X | Chapter XI (You are here) | Chapter XII | Chapter XIII | Chapter XIV | Chapter XV | Chapter XVI |
Buy Me A Ko-Fi Have a nice reading!
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Jumin woke up in pain. Sleeping on the sofa turned out to be not a very good idea, but for several days he had not slept so tight. Holding Riyu in his arms, he could even sleep on the floor. The girl was still sleeping, he stroked her hair gently, not wanting to wake her up. Then, to his disappointment, his phone rang. Jumin reached out to look for it on the little table nearby. Riyu twitched, murmured something, but still did not wake up. Jumin frowned when he saw that was his father calling. He picked up, "Yes?"  "Good morning, son. Has Riyu arrived safely at your home? She doesn't answer my calls."  "Yes, she is with me. Safe. She probably left the phone in her room again." And now she sleeps peacefully in my arms, far away from you, He wanted to add, but he only said it in his thoughts. "She watched television late at night yesterday and fell asleep in the living room."  He couldn't remember the last time he lied to his father. Maybe when he was a child? Or maybe never before? 
"Is that why you whisper?" Asked the old man.  "Yes, I don't want to wake her up." "I have to admit that I didn't expect you two to like each other so much..."  Jumin narrowed his eyes, "Is this isn't what you wanted?" He asked coldly.  "Well, I wanted you to get along, yes."  "And we get along pretty well."  "I understand," His father's voice also sounded harsh. "I would like to talk to you about something."  "Now? I'm leaving for work soon."  "Do you really think Riyu loathes my touch?" He asked as if he hadn't heard him at all.
Jumin clenched his jaw and took a deep breath through his nose. Of course you disgust her. How can you expect anything different? He thought, but said something else, "This is not the right time for such a conversation."  "I was hoping to spend the last evening more intimately with her, but she looked scared as soon as I touched her."  Jumin was filled with icy rage, the fingers of his hand clenched into a fist, "I'm not interested in yours... No, as you wish, I'll tell you what I think. You are stupid, father. What did you expect? That a girl so young that might be your daughter, will want any intimacy with you?" His father was silent. Jumin felt that Riyu moved under his arm, he glanced at her - she was awake. "Goodbye, father," He said sharply and hung up. How long did she listen? She was probably not pleased that he kept convincing his father that he is not at all good match for her. She must marry him, she kept saying, she must... "Jumin?" There was a concern in her voice. She reached with one hand to touch his cheek. "You look different..." He grabbed her hand hard, then pined it roughly above her head, not really sure why he did this. But he was... so mad. Riyu was looking at him in shock. "I'll do anything to stop this ridiculous marriage of you and my father, you want it or not. I'll find a way to help you, whatever the problem is, you want it or not. And whatever happens, just remember one thing. You are mine and mine only." It seemed like she was about to say something, her eyes narrowed, but he forcefully closed her lips with a strong kiss. She moaned into his mouths like she was out of her breath, but it didn't stop him - on the contrary, it encourages him even more. She arched her back beneath him, their bodies pressed against each other. Riyu whimpered when he tightened the grab of her hand, now clenching his fingers at her wrist. Their kiss deepened, her free hand was pushing at his chest, but it was so weak push, as if she wasn't sure what she wants - to stop him or not. Then he moved his lips to her neck and sucked at her skin. She moaned in great pleasure. "Ah, Jumin... Wait..." Her hand - the one in his grip - was shaking, and with the other one, she was digging her fingers in the material of his shirt. He pulled up and looked at her face. Her eyes were closed, her breath hot and shaky. And when she finally looked back at him, he saw... a fright in her eyes? Jumin froze, blinked... Did he really looked and behaved so differently than usually? So different that she was scared of him? He didn't want it... He didn't want her to be afraid of him, but .. he was so angry that he couldn't control it. He closed his eyes, tried in vain to calm down.  "Jumin? Are you okay?" Riyu asked in a weak voice. He felt even worse. He was so rough with her that she got scared of him, but even so, she was still worried.  "I'm sorry..." He whispered and kissed her forehead. "I should get ready for work and leave." He slowly released her from his arms, and when he got up and she sat down still slightly confused, he wrapped her in a blanket.  "Won't you have breakfast with me?" She asked.  "I don't have an appetite," In his mind's eyes there was a picture of Riyu flinching at the touch of his father and he knew he would not swallow any food.
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Riyu ate breakfast alone, only with Elizabeth on her lap - and she shared tasty bites of food with her. She remembered what happened in the early morning. She was worried about the conversation Jumin had with his father. She only heard its parts and ending. Mr. Chairman, however, had to say something that extremely upset Jumin. The way he kissed her, the way he spoke to her... She had never seen him like this before. She had dealt with his anger before - at this unfortunate karaoke party for example - but this time it was something more... It wasn't just anger. She felt as if he wanted to own her. It was a bit scary, but... She bit her lip as a pleasant shiver ran down her body, down between her thighs, which she immediately clenched. She took a breath and buried her face in her hand, embarrassed by what she felt. Also, because of everything that was happening, Riyu felt miserable. She was almost angry that she let these feelings wake up between them - for they would only lead to their suffering. She didn't want and couldn't involve Jumin into all the fuss, her parents and the people they knew were too dangerous - she could only do what they wanted from her. She felt like she was suffocating - she couldn't make Jumin safe and happy at the same time, she had to choose one. And she could only try to repay his kindness with small deeds... That's how she came up with an idea. She searched the kitchen and prepared a boxed breakfast from the products she found. It was nothing special and she was afraid it wouldn't be tasty enough, as Jumin usually ate quite exclusive dishes.  She informed Driver Kim that she wanted to go to Jumin's company. She dressed normally as she didn't want to wear any of the dresses that Mr. Chairman had bought her. When she reached the company, she was greeted by surprised Jaehee.  "Riyu? What are you doing here?"  Riyu raised the box and smiled uncertainly, "Jumin did not eat breakfast at home, so I brought it to him."  Jaehee continued to look at her with eyes wide open, then nodded, "I understand. Please, follow me." Before Jaehee let her into Jumin's office, she informed him of her arrival. Then she left them alone. Jumin was no less surprised than Jaehee when Riyu entered.  "I brought you breakfast," she explained and picked up the box again.  "Breakfast? Riyu, I can order the dish I want, here at the office. Do you want to tell me you went all this way to bring me breakfast?"  Riyu made an offended face, "You're welcome?"  "I'm sorry..." Jumin rose from behind the desk. "I just..."  When Jumin was looking for the right words, Riyu came up to him and handed him the box, "I made it myself, so I'm sorry if you won't like it..."  "You made it for me?"  Riyu chuckled, "I just said that." "No one has ever done food for me just like that..." She smiled, "And how does it feel?" Jumin looked up at her, "Really nice. I must thank you properly." Jumin put the box on the desk and took a step closer. Riyu felt her heart start beating faster.  "You haven't even try it..." She whispered, looking away.  "You made it for me, so I will definitely like it." Jumin grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, then gently raised her chin with his hand. "Jumin... Can we really do this?" She asked quietly, staring in his steely eyes. "You don't love my father anyway." "Yes, but... What is our relationship?" "Whatever you want it to be." She knew it was all just... wrong. That if they continue this, they will only suffer more. But when Jumin leaned down and their lips met, she couldn't help herself. Their kiss quickly became passionate, Riyu clenched her hands on his chest to somehow deal with the emotions shaking her now. Jumin pressed against her until the back of her legs came into contact with the desk. Then he embraced her and put her on it. "Just remember one thing..." Jumin said in a low voice, right next to her lips. "You're mine." She didn't answer, she just grabbed his tie and pulled him down. This time the kiss almost took her breath, she moaned, and with her free hand leaned on the desk behind her - accidentally pushing some documents on the floor. Jumin's hands fell on her hips, he pulled the bottom of her body to him, and she wrapped her legs around him. Jumin growled, not interrupting their ardent kiss, as she brushed against his crotch. The sweet warmth arose between her thighs again... Suddenly, the office door opened. Riyu managed to only withdraw her head from Jumin’s, but they both remained in an unequivocal position. "Mr. Han, I have some documents to sign-" Jaehee froze as she looked up from the documents and fixed her gaze on them. "O-oh..." Riyu realized she was still holding Jumin by his tie. She quickly loosened her grip and remembered equally quickly that no one but Zen knew about her feelings for Jumin. And certainly, no one, not even Zen, knew what was happening between the two of them. Jumin stepped back from her, composed as always and she slipped off the desk. "Leave the documents here, Assistant Kang," He said, adjusting his cuffs. "I'll deal with it later." Jaehee stared at the floor as she quickly approached the desk and laid the pile of documents on it. "Jaehee, it's not what you think, I..." Riyu wanted to say something that would fix this situation, but there was obviously nothing that could convince Jaehee it was simply a misunderstanding. The short-haired woman left the office in a hurry without looking back and closed the door behind her. Riyu felt that standing there, shocked, she was starting to turn red. Jumin chuckled under his breath. She blinked and looked at him sideways, "This is not funny!" "But you surely look cute when blushing," He said an kissed her, surprisingly gently, at the top of her head. Riyu buried her face in her hands, "God! What does she have to think about me now?" "About us," Jumin corrected her. "But does it really matter?"
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A day passed from this awkward event. At that time, V finally decided when the party would take place. They had two weeks to prepare. Riyu took care of sending date information to all the guests she had messaged with so far. She spent the whole morning on this, and when she finished, she logged in the chat room to tell others. [Riyu has entered the chat room] Zen: Riyu! You haven't logged in for a while. Riyu: Well... I didn't get a chance to tell anyone but... Riyu: Mr. Chairman came back for a few days and I had to spend that time with him. Zen: I see... [Jaehee Kang has entered the chat room] Jaehee Kang: Mr. Han didn't tell me his father was back. Jaehee Kang: but now I understand why he was so devastated. Jaehee Kang: At least I think I understand... Zen: Um ;;; Riyu: A-anyways! Riyu: I informed all the guests about when the party takes place. Zen: So it's official! Zen: We're having a party again~!
Zen: Riyu, can I talk to you over the phone for a minute? Riyu: Sure? [Zen has left the chat room] Wondering what this might be about, Riyu waited for Zen to call her. "Yes?" She asked after she picked up. "Riyu... Does Jaehee know something I don't know? I don't want to be nosy... But I'm just freaking out now..." Riyu felt her cheeks getting hotter, "I don't know if you want to hear it, Zen..." "Argh~! When you say that, I'm even more worried." Riyu began to curl a strap of hair around her finger, "Well... Jumin and I... We..." She took a deep breath. "Jaehee caught us in the office while we... Um..." "WHAT? What do you mean she caught us? What were you two doing?! In the freaking office?!" "Zen, calm down!" Her whole face was burning now. "We didn't do... not what you think, okay? We were just... kissing." She mumbled the last word, embarrassed. Zen made a strange sound, "God, you were right, I didn't want to hear it!" "I hope Jaehee... No, I know her. She's not that kind of person who would tell Mr. Chairman about us." Zen was quiet for a moment, "So you are still determined to marry this old guy?" "I have to, Zen. You know why." "I know I won't convince you... But I still think you should tell others. Maybe together we could somehow help you." Riyu shook her head instinctively, "It's too dangerous. I don't want to risk either Jumin's or any of your lives." She did not tell Zen everything, but she had already explained to him that her parents are in contact with very dangerous people and would not hesitate to reach for their services if only she tries to rebel. "Argh~! It's really hard for me - to know all this, to know in what a nasty situation you are and not to be able to help you in any way. You must know that I can barely resist telling others." "I'm sorry, Zen. I'm sorry I burdened you with this knowledge." "No, no, don't apologize. It's good that you told me. You can't be alone with all this."
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Jumin was just reviewing the latest reports and signing documents when Jaehee entered his office. "You really should remember to knock, Assistant Kang. Then we would avoid situations like the last one," He said without looking up at her. Jaehee cleared her throat, "Yes, I'm sorry." Fortunately, she could still behave professionally, never once commented on the last situation. "I informed Mr. Chairman about the date of the party." Jumin froze. Now he looked at her, "What?" Jaehee adjusted her glasses, "Mr. Han, before we set the date, you told me that when we did, I should inform your father." In fact, he remembered now. He wanted his father to attend the party if he could manage time for it. It was the first party RFA f organized by a long time, which is why he cared about his presence. At the time, there wasn't all this complicated situation between him and Riyu. "Mr. Han," Jaehee started, "I know I shouldn't interfere, but... You don't want Mr. Chairman to come to the party because of Riyu, am I right?" Jumin frowned. And that was the end of her professionalism, "Yes," He answered shortly. Jaehee looked away, "This... thing between you two... Is this serious, sir?" "Yes." His assistant blinked as if she was extremely surprised. As if she expected a completely different answer. Suddenly Jumin began to worry if Riyu thinking the same way he did. Did he not tell her that their relationship could be anything she wanted? Now he was beginning to understand that he did not want it to be just anything…
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snickerl · 7 years
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Blutendes Herz  V
XF fanfiction
Blutendes Herz (Bleeding Heart) is not really a consecutive story but the chapters build upon one another somehow.
Part I can be read here, part II here. Here you will get to part III, and part IV can be found here.
Author's Note: This installment begins exactly like part IV but features an alternative ending which is supposed to soothe the heartache shippers might have suffered from reading the other one. Closure B takes off at the point where Mark asks Scully what her friendship to Mulder really consists of. You can either re-read the first part or jump right into the flow below the cut.
You're sitting on the couch together with your favorite human being. She's pouring you a third cup of tea.
"Thanks for bringing me my favorite tea, Mulder, but you don't have to find excuses every time you come here. Next time, just give me a call when you're in the area and drop by without any of these stupid pretenses."
You scratch the Mexican blanket, the Casablanca DVD, and the funny little porcelain fox she once bought at a garage sale off your mental list. "I hate coming with empty hands, Scully," you reply, not telling her that deep down you're afraid that just you alone is not enough to make your visit worthwhile. That's why you always bring her something she'd left at the house when she moved out.
Just when you started to relax a little, you hear a distinct knock at the door. Your pulse instantly accelerates because of the foreboding sound, whereas she seems to be a picture of calm. "Sounds like Mark. What does he want? When has it become out of style for a man to give a woman a chance to dress properly and freshen up her makeup before he shows up at her doorstep?" she whines, tying her robe tighter. She combs through her hair and rubs her cheeks. You want to tell her that she looks perfect the way she is, that she doesn't need makeup or perfectly styled hair to be beautiful, but you only give her a short, apologetic shrug and sink deeper into the couch cushions, wondering what excuse he might have to drop by at her place just like that.
"Sorry for coming unannounced, my love, but I missed you so much and a man can only wait so long. Impossibly another whole day."
Alright, no pretenses from his side. He's painfully frank about why he's here and his open infatuation is like a cold fist squeezing your heart.
Before Scully is able to reply something, he licks the words off her tongue with a juicy kiss. He shoves her backward into the living-room, his lips glued to hers, maneuvering her to the couch you're sitting on. He obviously plans to engage her in a veritable makeout session, maybe even more, because he clearly wants to plant her flat out on the comfortable piece of furniture. Unfortunately, your long legs are in the way. You try to pull your feet back, but there's not enough space, so you can't prevent him from stumbling over them.
"What the..." he hisses. It takes him a moment to assess what has just happened, but then his facial features morph from utter surprise into boundless fury in a matter of nanoseconds. "You? What the hell are you doing here?" he bellows at you, clearly not pleased at all to see you.
As there is no real justification for you to be here other than that you, like him, simply wanted to see her, and you doubt he would be amused by this one, all you can come up with is the same excuse you gave her earlier.
"I brought Scully a box of tea she forgot at our house." If this feeble attempt to explain your being here wasn't so damn embarrassing, you might have burst into laughter at how ridiculous you sound. But you don't feel like laughing, and neither does he.
"What? You brought her tea? A year after she left you? Are you kidding me?" His voice has become louder with every word. In the end, he's yelling at you.
"Mark," the receiver of the tea intervenes, "would you calm down, please. There's no need to shout like this."
"Who knows how many times I've seen him here? Four, five? And how often has he been here without me even knowing? Huh, Dana?"
"You're not seriously expecting me to give you an account of who I meet with when you're not around, are you?" Her eyes indicate quite clearly that his boring questions are pissing her off. You've never seen her eyebrows melt into her hairline like this, and you've been at the receiving end of her indignation countless times. You're an expert, actually, on what she looks like when she's mad.
Mark is unwavering tough in his current state of anger. "You're entertaining other men in your pajamas when I'm not here, Dana, and it's supposed to leave me cold? Really?"
Your breath is halted. Of course, he doesn't know that Scully in a robe was so common to you even before you became romantically involved that it really is no big deal. Actually, you haven't really noticed she was in her pajamas when you got here until she said she would go change quickly and you told her not to be silly. You saw each other in hospital gowns, nightwear, undergarments, naked more than any other working duo on the planet, so seeing your former spouse in a pair of flannel PJs underneath a thick white terry cloth robe isn't inappropriate one bit. For you, that is. His attitude varies slightly from yours.
"What are you implying here, Mark?" Scully asks tight-lipped, although it's pretty obvious. Regardless that he is miles off target with his suspicions, you feel a pleasant twitch in your groin. An unexpected, yet very pleasant one.
"He's more to you than just a friend, right?"
There, he speaks it out. His voice is weirdly distorted when he draws imaginable quotation marks into the air pronouncing the word 'friend'.
CLOSURE B - Shippers: Everything's Yar
The innuendo is hovering above you like a heavy rain cloud imminent to empty itself upon you. Scully feels it too, and she decides to let the drops fall and soak you.
"You're right, Mark, Mulder is more to me than a friend."
"I knew it," he hisses through clenched teeth.
"It's not what you think, though."
"Ugh, come on, Dana, don't give me this shit. You simply never stopped loving him, that's it, and I was a welcome stopgap to help you cope with your separation, some stupid jerk who boosted your self-esteem adoring you and putting himself at your feet. What an idiot I've been."
"Wow," she mutters, "this is how you think of me? That I would use you like this? I thought you knew me better."
"Well, do we ever really know a person? Know all their motivations and thoughts, every hidden corner of their soul?"
You'd like to tell him that you do. You know Scully's soul better than your own. You can draw a map of every wound that soul has suffered from. You can tell exactly how high the wall is she's built around herself at any given moment and why it's there in the first place. You're able to follow her lines of thought without her having to utter a single word. If he knew how he's wronging her just now, he would keep his fucking mouth shut.
You can't help but back her up. "Would you take it down a notch, Mark? Why don't you just listen to what she's saying?"
"Don't you tell me what to do!" he bellows at you, angry beads of spit splashing out of his contorted mouth. You can't blame him. You remember how you reacted to the Ed Jerse incident all those years ago, and you hadn't even been a couple back then. Jealousy can do peculiar things to a once self-assured man.
"Mark, please sit down and listen to me," Scully says, "I never used you, neither did I ever lie to you. There are certain things I haven't told you, that's true, things about Mulder and myself, but not to betray you but because they are-"
Mark's hands shoot up to silence her. "Wait, let me say it, Dana," he demands, his voice sharp as a knife, "because they are cla-ssi-fied. What a perfect excuse for everything!"
"Well, they are, I can't help it," she replies steadfastly, "I'm not keeping them from you to hide any secrets you obviously think I have but to spare you the ugliness of what I've seen. Believe me, you don't want to know what Mulder and I dealt with. I understand that it's not easy for you and that I'm demanding a lot, but this is the only way it's going to work between us. If you cannot trust me on this, if you can't give me credit here, I don't see how we are going to continue our relationship."
"That's rich, Dana, really! Now I have to be thankful that you're protecting me from the world's villainy? Great! Like a boy who doesn't get told that his hamster died while he was in school."
She stares at him, bewilderment and disbelief written all over her face. "I can't believe we're having this conversation, Mark. I thought we had an understanding that my work with the FBI was part of my past I wanted to leave behind me."
"Can you at least tell me what you meant when you said he's more to you than a friend? I'm sorry that I'm so pathetically territorial here but I need to know there's nothing going on between you, otherwise I'm going to get crazy."
He seems to have forgotten that you're still here, or he doesn't care. You wished she had let you go a few minutes ago. You feel out of place and not entitled to listen to this conversation but you also know that your being here gives her strength. The two of you have got nothing indecent to hide from him, as much as you'd like there was.
"Please, baby, tell me what's so special about him that you can't let go of him," Mark implores, sounding so pleading and vulnerable all of a sudden, you can't but sincerely pity him.
Scully looks at her boyfriend. You notice compassion for him in her eyes, how seeing him falling apart in front of her touches her deeply. She will tell him, you realize, and your stomach feels as if you've just swallowed a pile of glass shards. You try to shield yourself from what you're going to hear because it will be as painful for you as it will be for her.
After another moment of silence she needs to muster up the strength to articulate the words, you hear her say, "he's the father to my son. Mulder and I have a child together."
Boom! The bomb has exploded.
You feel dizzy as the aftershocks ripple in waves through your body. Mark has turned into a pillar of salt. You're actually not sure he's still breathing. He stares at Scully with eyes wide and his mouth gaping. "I'm sorry, what?" he finally manages to utter.
"His name is William. He's thirteen."
"You have a son?"
"Yes."
After a moment he needs to process the information, Mark jumps up from his chair. The loud bang of the backrest making contact with the floor tears the silence apart that has been thickening the atmosphere in the room up to a point you feel you're suffocating.
"I can't believe this! For the six months we've been together you didn't deem me worthy to let me know this of you? That you are a mother?"
"I'm not a mother. Not anymore."
You feel like throwing up. You inhale deeply to fight the nausea. What you want to prevent from happening under all circumstances is that they turn their attention to you because you're emptying the contents of your stomach into the kitchen sink. This is not about you, although you play an important role in this. This is about Scully and Mark.
"What do you mean not anymore? Is he dead?"
Scully gasps. Tears flood her eyes and you see how hard she struggles not to lose her composure and break out in crying. You have to help her out.
"We don't know for sure, but we can assume that he is alive," you tell him, and to her you say, "we have every reason to believe he's safe and happy, Scully."
That's all you're going to say. What's more to explain needs to come from her. Mark won't understand anything with the cryptic way the two of you have been beating around the bush so far. How can he?
As if on cue he croaks, "what's that supposed to mean?"
"I gave him up for adoption a few weeks before he turned one. I insisted on a closed adoption, so we have no information whatsoever about him." Her voice is calm and firm. She has once again managed to detach herself from the painful emotions, talking as if she was giving facts on a case.
"You gave your child up for adoption? I can't quite believe this, Dana. It doesn't sound the least like you. You're far too caring and giving for me to be able to picture this. You love kids. You work up to exhaustion to cure the children in your hospital, and I've seen you together with your nephews and niece and together with my kids. I can't imagine a reason why you should be giving away your own son."
You hate to admit it, but he impresses you. He's not judgemental or self-righteous, he's not blaming or condemning her like so many other people who have learned this about her, including her own brother. He is quite the contrary. "What happened, sweetheart?" he asks in a gentle voice full of empathy and reaches out to her but she pulls her hands away. 'Come on, Scully,' you want to call out to her, 'let your guard down. Open up to him.' But her eyes are glued to her entwined fingers, the knuckles white from kneading them fiercely. She bites her lower lip so hard you're afraid she'll draw blood. The tension wafting off of her is palpable, the inner turmoil readable.
She looks at you, questioning you what to do in the wordless communication you have perfected between you over the years. You give a nod that has to be almost invisible to Mark but is to Scully as if you were gesticulating wildly with both arms. She gets it. She clears her throat, wiping her palms on her thighs in what is an irrational replacement activity. You know that her hands get cold when she's tensed-up, not sweaty. You want to take them in yours, warm them up with your body heat because you actually are on fire, but you're aware that this is her battle to fight. You've talked to your therapist more than once about William, you're not sure she's ever talked to anyone about him, really talked about him. So you catch your breath with relief when she starts to speak.
"I longed for this child. I wanted to be a mother so badly, I had even tried IVF at a time I was single."
"IVF? With a sperm donation?" Mark asks.
"Uhm, yes," she answers shyly. You can see how hard she tries not to look at you. She most certainly doesn't want to give him a clue about the donor's identity.
"But it didn't take it," he concludes correctly.
"No. No, it didn't. I was told I couldn't conceive naturally, so this had been my only chance. A very slim chance, but I was so hopeful and therefore devastated when it failed and I had to accept that I was never going to have a child. About two years later, something that can only be called a miracle happened and I became pregnant the...uhm...the old-fashioned way."
Now she does look at you and Mark takes his eyes off of her to look at you too. He arches an eyebrow, you literally see the movie running in front of his mind's eye and you do everything you can to keep the sweet smile off your face that is tugging at the corners of your mouth. What a magical night that was!
Mark refocuses on Scully. "You call it a miracle, so I take it you were happy when you found out you were pregnant."
"Indescribably. The pregnancy and childbirth weren't without complications, though."
You almost laugh at the ridiculous understatement. A presumably dead father, the everpresent fear that her pregnancy was engineered, that her baby wasn't normal, plus a childbirth witnessed by supersoldiers were actually poisonous to the experience, not *complicating* it. She was finally in a state she had yearned for so long and then she wasn't allowed to enjoy it like any expectant mother should. The injustice of it all still makes you curse everything and everyone: fate, God...the Cigarette Smoking Man and his cronies.
"But when William was finally born and I was holding my healthy baby in my arms, I was so happy. I thought that a wonderful life was waiting for me together with my beautiful son and his father."
So did you. The kiss you shared with her in her apartment was so promising. You finally had the feeling you had found your home, somewhere you could settle down and someone you belonged to. Your bliss lasted exactly for 48 hours - the most wonderful 48 hours of your entire life - before you had to leave the woman you had eventually allowed yourself to love and the baby boy who had taken possession of your heart the moment you first held him in your arms.
"How naïve I was. How stupid," Scully whispers more to herself than Mark, completely sunken in her painful memories.
"Where the hell were you, Mulder?" Mark obviously has problems making sense of what he's been hearing so far.
"I, uh-" you start without even knowing what to say when Scully leapfrogs you. "Mulder's life was at stake. He had to go into hiding."
"I see. He saved his sorry ass and left you and the baby alone."
"I told him to get himself out of harm's way."
"Of course you're defending him but seriously, what kind of man leaves a woman who's just given birth all to herself with a newborn?"
You can't but agree. What kind of man did that to her?
"Our lives would've also been threatened if he had stayed."
"Sure, he did you a favor heaving all the responsibility onto you." Sarcasm is dripping off of every word.
"You weren't there, Mark. Don't judge Mulder for what he did if you don't have any idea what it was like back then."
You can't stand her speaking on behalf of you. You don't deserve it. "He's right, Scully. I shouldn't have left. My place was at your side. Yours and William's."
"Don't be ridiculous, Mulder! You know that had you stayed, they would've gotten you. What would've been the purpose of you staying?"
"The purpose, Scully? The purpose would've been not to walk away from the only two people in the world that were important to me."
You gaze at each other, both briefly oblivious of the third person in the room until said person coughs uncomfortably and brings you back into the here and now. You both turn your heads and look away from each other, startled by the unexpected intensity of the moment.
Scully clears her throat. "Well, Mulder, dead you wouldn't have been of any help either."
No, of course not, but you would've had more than just two days with your family. You would've gotten to know your son better than what was possible in only 48 hours. How many more time would you have had before they shot a bullet through your head? A week? A month? A year? You might have been able to see William sit upright, eat his first solid food, crawl or babble his first words. Mommy, most probably, and maybe even daddy. You could've watched Scully as a mother. You were struck by the radiance of her smile when she was nursing him, you would've loved to see more of her parental bliss. Every single day more with your son and his mother would've been worth your inevitable violent decease.
But you chose to listen to Scully and Skinner in their efforts to convince you to go underground, They told you it would be better for the three of you. When you were lying all alone in a bed in some shaggy motel room in the middle of nowhere, thinking of Scully and William until your heart bled, you weren't so sure anymore that it had been the right decision. When you finally reunited with her in a dark, cold prison cell months later, a broken woman was kneeling in front of you, begging you for forgiveness although you had no right to blame her for anything.
"Honestly, Dana," Mark and his full voice pull you out of your painful reminiscences, "I can imagine that as FBI agents you had to deal with the scum of society and that you put your life on the line every once in a while, but that agents have to go underground to protect themselves and their families from getting killed is new to me. Is that a regular professional hazard you accept when you sign your contract?"
"We were Special Agents. We worked for a unit called the X-Files. Our cases were very much out of the ordinary," she explains without really revealing what kind of individuals you were dealing with. Some hadn't even been human.
"And because of an extraordinary case, Mulder had to hide?" Mark tries to understand.
"We had messed up with some very powerful forces during the course of our work. Almighty forces. Forces that moved people around like pawns on a chess board."
"Such as?"
Scully avoids Mark's eyes. Failing an answer, she hangs her head, presses her lips together and simply shrugs. He knows what to make of her reaction. "Classified," he notes dryly and gets an affirmative nod. "Okay, so you sent Mulder away two days after your son was born. He wasn't there to help you with the baby. I got this. But that can't possibly the reason why you gave...uh, what was his name again?"
"William," the two of you croak in unison and Scully heaves a sad sigh.
"Look, Mark," you rise to speak, "this is all quite painful for Scully. For the both of us. Allow me to cut this a little short. Not only Scully and I were pawns, but so was William. Due to the nature of our work the circumstances are-"
Mark raises a hand to stop you. "Ah, Mulder, let me say it once again: classified." He lets the word roll off of his tongue with relish, as if it were a sip of well-aged single malt, only that he isn't enjoying the taste.
"Right, but let me tell you this much: Scully acted out of pure love for her son. With giving him up, she took him out of the game. You have to understand, on their chess board he wasn't a simple pawn like us, he was the king, the most valuable token they had. Only far away from us in an adoptive family was he able to lead a normal life, a life out of reach of the forces that meant us harm. Scully made the biggest of sacrifices for a mother to make."
"It was our sacrifice as parents. I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect him, Mulder," you hear her whisper. While your look rests on Scully's slouched figure, out of the corner of your eye you notice how her boyfriend picks up the chair he's knocked over earlier and slumps down on it.
Her guilt pangs make you feel awful. All these years, you haven't managed to dissipate her worries that you held her accountable for the loss of William. "Don't you dare apologize to me, Scully. None of this is your fault. All this shit you've been through centers around me, I'm the one to blame here."
"Mulder, you know I chose this life at your side many years ago and never regretted it."
"That doesn't keep me from believing that you would've been better off without me. You deserved far more than what you've got."
"Nonsense. How often do I have to tell you that I would do it all over again?"
You have nothing to say to this. She's told you this many times, that she never regretted having chosen this life although it cost her so much, and as much as you wished for her to have this other, carefree life full of joy and light, you thank the gods above that against all odds she'd chosen to be with you, you selfish sonofabitch.
"Wow."
The man who's set this conversation in motion earlier in a pang of jealousy brings himself back into focus. You have almost forgotten he's still there, listening to what Scully and you had to say to each other. Poor guy, this can't be something you want your girlfriend and her ex to be talking about while you're in the room. Actually, this can't be something you want your girlfriend and her ex to be talking about at all.
"Your relationship really is one of a kind." Mark is shaken by a bitter chuckle. "Listen to you! You're so fucking tender with each other it makes me question my position in this threesome."
You can't believe the word he's chosen. "Threesome?" you make sure you heard him right.
"Yes, threesome." He pauses for a moment until he stares hostilely right at you. "Let me ask you this, Mulder...has it bothered you even for a second that there was someone else when you decided to sneak back into her life? Huh? I mean, honestly, haven't you heard that trying to steal a guy's girlfriend behind his back is no way to behave among men?"
"Mark, please! Would you stop being so possessive!" Scully implores. "I don't like it. Plus, there's no need for you to make such a scene."
"You keep saying that, Dana. You allayed my suspicions more than once, assuring me of your affection for me and that he and you are just friends," he snarls.
"We are just friends," she shouts back at him.
He chuckles again. It's a mocking, sore chuckle. "You really believe what you're saying? What I've just seen here weren't two friends but two people showing me so much syrupy devotion to one another, it makes me gag."
His harsh words bring tears to her eyes, and you hate him for it. He doesn't understand anything, or maybe, actually, he understands it all.
"It's so damn obvious that I'm the fifth wheel here, I think I better go."
He jumps off the chair which threatens to tip over once again. He grabs his jacket and strides toward the door, but Scully blocks his way. "No, please, don't go!"
"Why? Why do you want me to stay?"
"Because...because I really enjoy being with you."
"You know what, Dana? This I actually do believe. You enjoy being with me. You like me. Maybe even a lot. But not even once did I hear from you that you loved me. I don't blame you, don't get me wrong. I know that in a relationship, there's always one party more deeply in love than the other and I guess in our relationship that party is supposed to be me. It's not a very pleasant position to be in, I have to tell you. I've been there already with my marriage to Jessica, and I'm not going there again. I'm sorry. I'm really madly in love with you, Dana, but if you can't love me back the way I love you, and I've just been shown that you can't, I have to get the hell out of here to save my neck."
"What is it you're saying, Mark?" she whispers in a trembling voice although she knows. You do too.
Mark cups Scully's face, tilting it up to make her look at him. His voice is gentle now, his features calm and peaceful. "I'm saying..." He sighs, clenches his jaw so hard you see his muscles throb, inhales deeply through his nose, then continues in an even softer voice, "I'm saying that you are a stunning woman. You're breathtakingly beautiful, you're sensitive, warm, giving. You were a wonderful mother, of that I'm sure. I fell for you the moment you stepped into my office. The man who gets to be loved by you is one lucky guy. Unfortunately, I'm not that man. I wished I was, but I'm not and never will be. Someone else in this room is. I've been enjoying my time with you, Dana, a lot, but I have to protect my heart from being broken, and it will be broken if I stay."
"Mark," Scully starts feebly but is silenced by his lips on hers. It's a chaste kiss, their mouths lingering on each other in a tender touch.
"Take care, sweet Dana," he says while swiping the remains of the kiss off her lips with his thumb. "And you, asshole," he starts talking to you without taking his eyes off of her, "you better get your shit together and make her happy."
He moves toward the door. His hand is already reaching for the knob when he turns around to look at you both. "Go find this son of yours. Build the family you both so achingly long for. You were both FBI agents, for Christ's sake, you know how to get information about someone, don't you? Classified or not."
He opens the door and walks through it but stops in the hallway once again. Without looking back he says one more thing. "Send me a Christmas card of the three of you." Then he's gone.
Scully is rooted to the ground. She stares after him, frozen, not even blinking an eye. You close the door softly and lean your back against it. You're downright flabbergasted by the ultimate course of events. You really have to give him credit. You'd bow to him if he was still here. That was some kind of a dignified exit off the stage. You're beginning to understand why she'd gotten involved with him. The man has class.
"I'm sorry, Scully," you mumble, "that's not what I came here for, today."
"I don't know what to say," she whispers, tears streaming down her cheeks. "I'm an awful person."
"No, you're not."
"I treated him badly, took advantage of him."
"Did you listen at all? He said you were stunning and that he treasures the time with you. No man praises a woman like that if he feels taken advantage of."
"I should've never gotten involved with him. It was not fair to let him believe that I could ever...after what we had...I mean...argh."
She pushes you aside and takes angry strides back into the living-room. Your heart breaks seeing her in so much despair. All you wanted when you came here was to share her company for a while. You didn't mean to chase her boyfriend away, although, if you're being honest, for your own selfish reasons, you're glad he's gone.
Some of what he'd said to her is still ringing in your ear.
"Is he right, Scully?"
"Right with what?"
"That I...uhm, that the other man in this room was in the lucky position to be loved by you?"
Mark Finlay isn't the first man to make such a remark. Many years ago, Philipp Padgett, the writer who lived next door to you, told you that Scully couldn't fall in love like he'd written in one of his stories because she already was in love. He meant in love with you but you were too slow-witted to be able to put two and two together at the time.
"Mulder, you know that the reason for me to leave you was not that I had fallen out of love with you."
She can't hide that she doesn't really want to talk about it right now, but you have to know so you insist. "That's not what he was trying to say, I guess."
"No, maybe not."
"And?"
She looks at you with her beautiful blue eyes that are now red and puffy from crying. "Mulder, let me process the relationship that has just ended before contemplating another one, okay?"
"Sure."
You clear your throat. You're a bit embarrassed. What did you expect? That she would fall into your arms right away and kiss you as if she only waited for Mark to disappear? She had been serious about this man, she had really wanted to give this relationship a try. You just realize how close you'd been to losing her. If it wasn't for the bond you share through William, the time you'd become estranged from one another during the height of your depression could have been fatal to your relationship. The son who left your life as an infant keeps holding the two of you together, how ironic is that?
Scully is standing at the window with her back turned to you, her body posture rigid. She's folded her arms around herself and you see her shoulders rise and fall with every breath she takes. She's upset and confused. You'd like to envelop her in a comforting embrace, stroke her back while she buries her face in your chest and place a kiss into her hair - strictly platonic, without any ulterior motives - but you're not sure it'd be much appreciated. Scully hates to be vulnerable. You can count on the fingers of one hand how often she allowed you to see her in a moment of weakness, the moment she told you that she'd given up William being one of them.
"Scully?" you break the deafening silence.
"Hmm?"
"Do you think he's right about...this, uh, other thing?"
You hold your breath.
"What other thing?"
Her eyes are still locked on something outside.
"William. That we should track him down."
You think you're able to see how the last bit of strength leaves her body. For a moment, you fear she's going to collapse like a marionette whose strings have been cut off, but then she recomposes herself. She straightens her shoulders and her voice is quiet but firm when she starts to speak.
"I sometimes imagine what he looks like. I picture him tall and lanky as you, with brown, thick hair. He hadn't grown enough of it when I handed him over to the social worker to be able to tell what color it would eventually be. His eyes had my color, but most babies are born with blue eyes, especially fair-skinned ones like him. They have very little melanin in their eyes, the pigment that gives color to the eyes, skin, and hair. The eyes sometimes don't produce much melanin, if any, while the baby is in the womb. After birth, light stimulates the production of it, which is why the eye color may darken or change over time. His eyes were still blue when I last looked into them, so maybe they still are."
You haven't seen Science Scully for a while, but there she is, rational and detached as ever, letting facts capture the space where emotions are too painful.
"I wonder what he's like as a schoolboy. Does he like science like I do or is he more gifted in the fine arts and attends a theater or writing class? If he has inherited your height, which I hope he has, he plays basketball probably or he is a good swimmer, maybe, like you. I bet he loves pizza like all teenagers his age, and computer games. Maybe he has a dog. It's nice for kids to grow up with a dog. I've always been a dog person. If he was living with us, we would have a dog, for sure. An Irish Terrier maybe, or a Jack Russell. Those are funny."
She's in another world, a dream world, where she keeps William around. You ask yourself whether this really is a healthy way to cope with the loss. You're not sure and you make a mental note to ask your therapist. You see the same broken woman you saw all those years ago in your prison cell, bereft of everything good in her life, and you realize you're the only person who's able to keep the fragments of her together, which is why Mark never stood a real chance against you. Only you have the ability to glue the pieces of her shattered existence together and make her a whole person. It's your advantage over all men that think they could hit on her, but it's also an obligation. You've seen what happens to her when you're not fulfilling your duty. She gets lost and disoriented with all the choices she'd made being proven wrong after all. You are her lifeline, the x-axis to the y-axis in her coordinate system. It's your damn responsibility to be the man she needs you to be after all the sadness you've brought into her life.
You approach her cautiously, for she's so buried in her contemplations that you're afraid to startle her. 'Take her by the hand and guide her,' you hear your inner voice tell you, so that's what you do. Your fingertips graze the back of her hand which is now dangling lifelessly at the end of an equally lifeless arm, which belongs to a lifeless woman. She doesn't react, is not taking the hand you're offering her. Her walls are up, you realize. Two rows of solid bricks, erected to shut everyone out, to retreat and deal with the pain all by herself. But you won't let her. Not this time. The two of you made that mistake once, each dealing alone with the loss of William, you won't let it happen again. This time, you're going to hold on to her and you're going to help her heal.
"I'm here, Scully," you whisper into her ear.
EPILOGUE
"Mr. Finlay, there's a private letter for you in the mail today. It's on your desk," the agency's intern who is responsible for distributing the incoming mail tells him.
"Thank you, Chad," Mark replies, but the boy is already gone.
He puts his briefcase on his desk and switches the desk lamp on. It's still dark in the morning at this time of year. He pushes the button on his phone to listen to the messages on his voicebox and takes a sip of the coffee he's brought along. He lets himself fall into his chair and sighs. Two more weeks until Christmas, then he will have two weeks off. He will spend Christmas Eve with his ex-wife and the kids this year. He's resolved all his issues with Jessica and they are able to converse on a friendly basis again, which is good for their two children, Benjamin, 12, and Louise, 15. He leans back in his chair and contemplates his agenda for the day when his eyes fall on the envelope on his desk with the note 'confidential'.
He reaches out and takes it in his hand. The paper is thick and there's a commemorative stamp with a Christmas ball on it. Season greetings, obviously. How many has he already received of these? All his clients, and he's got lots of them, send him season greetings, and the house owners, who want him to find tenants for their properties. This particular letter is also from a client, a very special one. He recognizes her handwriting instantly and has to smile.
He doesn't want to rip the envelope, so he opens the top drawer of his desk and takes a letter opener out. He positions the point at one corner and slides the sharp blade through the paper. He puts the opener back into the drawer and closes it slowly. He takes another sip of coffee before he pulls the card out.
The front only says Season Greetings, but when he unfolds it, he looks at some familiar faces. Two out of three are familiar at least, the third person is unknown to him but is so much a combination of the other two that he has to laugh. It's a teenage boy with the same thick dark hair as his father and the blue eyes of his mother.
He takes a closer look at the woman's face and is taken aback by the sheer elation etched on her face. Her eyes are sparkling and her toothy grin almost reaches her ears. He's never seen her that happy, which hurts him a little because he'd always thought that she had been happy with him also. Maybe she was, but not as happy as she could be, as happy as she is with this other man. Below the picture, he finds a personal note from her.
Mark, hope you are well. Thanks for everything. Dana.
His eyes fall on the man. With his long arms put around the other two, he looks like a proud family man determined to do everything in his power to care for and to protect his loved ones. "Well done, asshole," Mark mumbles, "looks like you've really gotten your shit together."
He takes his iPhone out, opens the messenger app and touches the profile picture of one of his favorite contacts. Hey Jess, he types, looking forward to spending Xmas with you and the kids this year. XOXO, Mark. He hesitates for a moment, then presses send. He watches for the indication that the message is being delivered and smiles when the little blue check tells him that's it's been received. The green dot next to his ex-wife's name indicates that she's online right now. 
A few seconds later, her reply gets in. Me too, and a smiling emoji.
END
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sparklemichele · 7 years
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Hi so ive been wondering something and you seem to be very willing to inform people on issue of people of colour, if this is by any means offensive you dont have to answer this nd i apologise. I would like to know if there some sort of racism amoung african-american people themselves? It might be rare but do lightskinned african-americans look down on dark skinned sometimes? Again i might sound incredibly ignorant but where i live there are very few people of colour so i have no idea.
Hi Anon. I’m going to let a really great article I read by Jaleel Campbell answer your question. I hope it helps.
Dark Skin Vs: Light Skin: The Battle of Colorism In The Black Community
In many different cultures and countries around the world, skin color plays a huge role in the concept of beauty. Lighter skin is often preferable to darker skin. The effects of the African American self-hate toward each other because of one’s skin color is rather eye opening and sad, to say the least. This is a very hot and taboo subject among the African American community. As a culture that came from years of oppression and hatred inflicted by slave owners, forced to think that because of their color, they were inferior, blacks have somehow reverted back to having this sort of mindset which is, in fact, hurting them as a whole. With no thanks to the media and its influence on what is seen as beautiful, Black America is tearing itself apart when it focuses on such a shallow aspect of a person that they can’t control. What a person makes of themselves and all of their aspirations should be what they’re judged on - not their skin color. African Americans should stop using skin color to discriminate against each other because it hinders the progression of the entire black community.
Frequent sightings of dark skinned people portrayed negatively in the media is heavily exploited, while light skinned and non-black individuals are portrayed more positively.These kind of prejudgements negatively impact the African American community and prevents the culture from moving forward. Hundreds of years after slavery, the actions of several people in the black community still show that the culture, as a whole, needs to stop and think about the negative connotations they are associating themselves with. Sometimes people make statements such as, "You're pretty for someone who's dark-skinned " or "pretty for a black girl". Phrases such as the ones above are in no shape or form, a compliment. When someone says the above statement they are implying that because of a darker persons complexion, they’re automatically supposed to be ugly. Subtle jabs like this can take their toll on the self esteem of a person.
Growing up as a child in a place where being ridiculed and made fun of because your skin is of a darker complexion is one thing that most Americans couldn’t even imagine. In an interview with Essence Magazine, actress Viola Davis discusses how, as a child, she too felt the pain of being called an assortment of derogatory terms and shares how after a while, she began to believe that she in fact, was ugly (essence.com). Imagine seeing a little girl who had all of her self confidence ripped from her before she entered the 6th grade. That was the norm for Davis back during her childhood. According to the author of “Exploring the Impact of Skin Tone on Family Dynamics and Race-Related Outcomes,” Evidence suggests that racial socialization helps foster the adjustment of children in the face of race-related adversity and serves to protect youth from negative mental health consequences (Hughes, 2006). What many people fail to realize is that children are still developing and in prepubescent kids especially, criticism such as being called ugly and being told you will amount to nothing, can have a substantial effect on the sanity of someone so young. That child is left with that idea stuck in the back of their head throughout life and this idea can be the base of all of the future problems the person has with their self image as an adult.
The Clark Doll Experiment, administered by Kenneth and Mamie Clark, was an experiment that dealt with race and how children perceive it at a young age. The results that came from it were indeed astonishing yet, heartbreaking to say the least.
In the experiment Clark showed black children between the ages of six and nine two dolls, one white and one black, and then asked these questions in this order:
“Show me the doll that you like best or that you’d like to play with,”
“Show me the doll that is the ‘nice’ doll,”
“Show me the doll that looks ‘bad’,”
“Give me the doll that looks like a white child,”
“Give me the doll that looks like a coloured child,”
“Give me the doll that looks like a Negro child,”
“Give me the doll that looks like you.”
The questionnaire concluded with 44 percent of the black children choosing the white doll as being the doll that looked like them. This study gained a lot of attention because of the fact that young black children were disassociating themselves with their true race. A question that the case leaves lingering in the air is “what made the children choose the white doll instead of the one that was more close to them?”
In American culture, whiteness and more of a European "look" is considered the norm, and as a result, blackness is associated with lesser status. When looking at some celebrities, for instance Nicki Minaj, there has been a drastic change to her appearance since she first came on to the scene. As her popularity arose, she began to seem more increasingly "light". It is clear to the reader that she has altered her appearance. Now why is this you ask? Predictions can be made that in order for her to move up the ladder in the music world, she had to gain crossover appeal by changing her appearance to fit the pop demographic that her managers wanted her to meet. Although she may not agree with some of the ideas her team are putting together to make up her image, it has since propelled her to superstardom.
Even today,some people who are lighter-skinned consider themselves superior to (and more attractive than) darker-skinned Americans. Filmmaker, Spike Lee, commented on this problem in the movie School Daze, where he exposed the problems between light and dark skinned individuals attending a historically black college. One famous scene from the movie involves two groups of women, one group light skinned, and the other dark skinned, as they argue in a hair salon about which group has good hair. Both groups of women use many derogatory words to describe each which shows how ignorance is still apparent even within one’s own race. Because of such ignorance, the movie received a lot of criticism after its premiere. Before Lee shed light on the subject, it was a topic that was swept under the table but because of his influence, the problem was brought to national attention.
A 2006, University of Georgia study showed that employers prefer light skinned black men to dark skinned men, regardless of their qualifications. They found that a "light-skinned male could have only a Bachelor’s degree and typical work experience and still be preferred over a dark-skinned male with an MBA and past managerial positions"(Harrison 2006). On the other hand, however, in the corporate world, it is assumed that ”relative to their lighter-skinned counterparts, darker skinned Blacks have lower levels of education, income, and job status” (Turner 1995). Since this stereotype is in place, “Corporate America” can be seen as nothing more than an imagination in the eyes of a dark person, as if they know that the job wouldn’t be inviting to people such as them. So how did black culture become so infused with self hatred? Dark skinned slaves working in the field hated the light skin slaves working in the master's house because of the fact that he chose to “spoil” their lighter counterparts. According to “Brotherman: The Odyssey of Black Men in America - an Anthology,” One of the most popular methods of teaching this divisive behavior was created by Willie Lynch, a British slave owner in the West Indies, who came to United States to advise American slave owners how to keep their slaves restrained. The darker slaves were forced to work in the fields and received no privileges. This is what began the division within the black community. As history shows, although light skinned blacks were of a higher rank than their black counterparts, they still received scraps at the end of the day (Boyd). This idea is still intact to this day when lighter skinned individuals seem to feel more inferior to darker toned people, but when you ask a Caucasian, or anyone outside of the African American race, what the light skinned individuals would be listed under its always the same response. Black. After slavery, educational institutions, clubs and other activities were reserved only for light skinned black people. In some instances, only those who were lighter than a brown paper bag (paper bag test) would be considered light enough to attend a college or an exclusive club (Boyd).
Sometimes magazines will lighten the skin of black women, just as L'oreal lightened Beyonce's Skin in a controversial makeup ad that made her appear as if she were, indeed, white. The idea of a more eurocentric look comes in to play again as we dig more into America’s perception of western beauty. Characteristics of Eurocentric beauty include: white skin, a narrow nose, blonde or brown long straight hair, and thin lips. For some reason, if you don’t fulfill these beauty standards, you are considered to be less attractive. Many questions can be raised because of this; who’s the decider of what qualifies as beautiful? As cliched as it may sound, beauty is truly in the eyes of the beholder, despite what some people may think.
For some, the views and the opinions of others are too much to bare and consider procedures and different cosmetic products as a way to achieve the ever popular “eurocentric” look that they aspire to have. Although this may sound fine and dandy, the procedures and products bring more risks than they do good. Skin bleaching creams have become hot commodity in the black market beauty world. In a world where the only thing that is seen as beautiful is light skin, can others be to blame for the society that they are a product of? These toxic creams strip the skin of its melanin. Although the person achieves the look they intended to reach, their skin is now weak because of the components said products are composed of. On the other hand, everyone is entitled to self happiness, but the real question is are they ready to face all of the possible repercussions of skin bleaching? That is left for the person to decide.
This is a topic that won’t ever die because people refuse to stop being ignorant, which is evident by Twitter hashtags like #teamlightskin or #teamdarkskin, where people feud and try to prove who’s better based on skin color. Even when various YouTube searches on the topic are pulled up, thousands of results of people - some who try to diffuse the topic, while others add their foolish input. The fact that this topic still remains relevant is ridiculous.
According to “The Skin Color Paradox and the American Racial Order,” Dark-skin discrimination occurs within as well as across races (Turner). This idea is known to be true in an assortment of different cultures, most notably in the caste system set in India. The caste system is in place to form a structured society for the people of India based on one’s skin color. The lighter a person is, the more power that person holds, while the darker they are makes them more prone to living a harder life. Although life shouldn’t be that way for any human being, the darker toned Indians, often called the “untouchables,” are subject to hard labor throughout their lives.
To conclude, in many different cultures and countries around the world, skin color plays a huge role in the concept of beauty. Although light skin may be more preferable, those with darker skin still find their way in society. No matter what adversity they may have faced getting there, they eventually find solace in knowing that they’re on a road to success.The African American community must join together to show that they are more than just a skin, they are people. Although this may be a rather taboo subject, it needs to be brought to the forefront so it can finally be put to rest. The culture must move past those years of oppression and look to the future and what it has to offer. If the culture continues it current ways, then the oppression will always be there; the cycle must stop and the time has been long overdue. Even though the media has made steps in the right direction to show darker African Americans in a better light, the process must be stepped up a couple of notches to get real results. To reiterate, the color of the skin that you were born with should be just that. What a person makes of themselves and all of their aspirations should be what they’re judged on, not their skin color. It doesn’t matter where an African American falls on the spectrum of color because at the end of the day, they’re still black.
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tisfan · 8 years
Text
Stark Truth
Chapter Four of that Tony/Doom fic that nobody asked for and I just can’t seem to stay away from... things are looking grim for our boys...
To Victor goes the Spoils - A Stark Reminder - Doom’s Day Scenario
At least, Tony thought, looking around at the burning city, the Avengers weren’t the only superhero group who regularly made mincemeat out of their surroundings. Hulk was really smashie, and Captain America hadn’t yet decided that opening a door was easier than crashing through the wall, not to mention the number of bad guys who tended to use Iron Man as their own personal wrecking ball. 
On the other hand, Johnny Storm was literally burning the place to the ground. Human Torch? More like human dumpster fire. Tony sighed. Fire, like biological weapons, didn’t care who was killed. Tony picked his way carefully through the burning building, getting feedback every few feet to make sure the floor was still stable and the roof wasn’t going to come down on his head. 
This was the warehouse that Richards had decided was probably storing Tony’s tech -- not certain what, and an in depth examination of Stark Industries records hadn’t shown anything missing. If the building hadn’t been on fire, Tony would have left it til the battle’s end to start putting pieces together. It bothered him to be letting others go into harm’s way as he examined crates and files, downloaded computer databases, and tried to figure out what Doom was up to. 
Which didn’t mean that he wasn’t fighting; the doombots were annoyingly persistant and several dozen of them had followed Iron Man into the building. They were also fairly standard grunt troops and not any of the specialized attack modulars that the Avengers had dealt with before. If Tony didn’t know better, he’d suspect they’d caught Doom entirely by surprise. 
He wasn’t sure he did know better, but nothing with Doom had ever been as easy and uncomplicated as he’d believed it should be. So, yeah, probably a trap somewhere lurking under the whole mess. 
In one room, Tony discovered a full layout of a superlatively upgraded Doomstahdt. Latveria’s founding, centuries ago, had given it some gorgeous architecture, for like, the 1200’s, but these days, the mud huts and fantastical cathedrals were a little out of date. Modern plumbing was scarce, and while the population was generally better off than some parts of the world, Tony knew families in coal towns with more luxurious  homes than middle-class Latverians. 
Except Doom seemed to be planning some major upgrades. Skyscrapers towered over the surrounding landscape, modern high-rise apartments, overly generous green public areas, underground power lines. This was going to take billions of dollars, years of work, but when it was finished… Doomstahdt was going to rival such modern cities as Singapore and Taipei.
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“Guess Light Bright’s doin’ him a favor by speeding up the clearing process,” Tony muttered, leaning against the table to study the layout. At the heart, several meters underground… was a full-sized arc-reactor power source. Self-reliant, clean energy. A warm light for all mankind. Tony felt a peculiar squeeze in his chest. 
The underground power generator had some improvements, even to Tony’s model, amplifiers and storage cells. Tony had JARVIS capture some images; this deserved more scrutiny than he had time for right now. At least he knew what Doom had stolen, except really, Stark Industries kept careful track of the arc-reactors. Surely he would know if one of them were missing, if even the components had been illegally salvaged. 
Maybe it was theoretical, something Doom was planning, but hadn’t yet acquired. Still, it made Tony nervous; the arc-reactor was a great power source; could be used to anything. To run an entire city, or to power hordes of Doombots. Better check it out. Tony launched himself up to continue a search of the burning building. 
Doom watched from the sidelines; enough out of the way that his Doombots would do their job, along with the servo-guards, and others, without drawing attention to himself. He issued commands; keeping a small group of rotating servo-guards to occupy the Fantastic Four, the rest were directed to civilian evacuation and preservation tasks. 
Already, Richards and Storm had dropped over several buildings and completely disrupted emergency services in the city. Doom wasn’t even certain what they were here for; Doom had not been involved in anything besides infrastructure in the last several months. 
After tearing up several squads of guards, Doom finally stepped out, commanding his guards to act as if he was merely another Doombot, serving for the moment as the Voice of Doom. 
“What do you want with Doom?” he demanded, marching up the street to where Richards was involved in disgusting gyrations with half a squad of servo-guards, arms and legs stretched to ridiculous and grotesque lengths. 
Richards started yelling about illegal tech and weapons programs. Doom sneered behind his mask. 
“Doom has acquired nothing that is not necessary to the comfort of the population of Latveria,” Doom declared, putting his hands on his hips in aggravation. He should have known that he would not be allowed to rebuild his nation. 
“You should know that Stark’s tech is watched very closely, Von Doom,” Sue said. She wasn’t visible, not that that was anything new. 
“Should we forget, just because Doom rules this nation, that there are half a million people living there who just want good lives? These people, who live in an enforced monarchy, we should just allow Johnny Storm to blow up their city because he’s angry with Doom?” Doom gestured around at the burning city. “Whatever Doom has done in the past, the people of Latveria deserve better!” 
“They deserve better than you!” Johnny Storm yelled. 
“Perhaps,” Doom said. “But that is not your choice to make. You have come to Latveria on invasion, with no evidence. Doom --” Doom turned. The warehouse was burning. He squinted; a figure in red and gold armor whizzed past one of the windows. Iron Man had been strangely absent during the battle in the city. 
Doom narrowed his gaze; the fire was spreading rapidly through the building, racing toward -- 
Shit. The fuel packets for the arc-reactor. Stable, safe energy, but not when some idiot set it on fire. The explosion would put a crater in the middle of Latveria the size of Sudbury crater. “Fools!” 
Doom turned his back on the Fantastic Assholes. 
Richards tried to head him off -- literally, stretching his neck so far out to make a loop around Doom’s retreating form -- “This one’s him! Get him, Ben!” 
No. Doom did not have time for this nonsense. He tore free of Richards’s grip, moving as fast as he could. Tony could not, could not be in that building when it blew. 
Richards grabbed him again. 
“Idiot,” Doom growled. “If the core melts down, everyone will die!” 
Doom burst into the building. The air snapped, subtle, popping Doom’s ears. Sue Storm had surrounded the entire building in one of her force-shields. Well, at least she wasn't as stupid as Richards. What she saw in that man anyway was more than Doom could understand. 
Doom raced to the storage facility; the fire was already thick and even though Sue had contained the building, there was enough oxygen that it wouldn’t go out immediately. The red and gold of Tony’s armor glinted across the room. 
One glance was all it took. They were, not to put too fine a point on it, doomed. The core was already burning. 
Iron Man gazed into the crate, then snapped his head up to stare at Doom. There was no reading his expression behind that mask. “At least I’ll take you with me,” Tony snarled, the voice modulated by the armor, stripped of nuance. 
“No,” Doom said. “I’ll take you with me.” 
The core melted. Doom took three steps and crossed the room, weaving his magic behind him. A containment shield for the core, by necessity, stretching to fill the shield Sue had already locked down. The force from the inside was going to be a thousand times that of Hiroshima. Doom flung another, to protect Tony from the heat and sudden lack of oxygen, and then the building went up. Red and yellow flames engulfed everything, like being thrust suddenly into the middle of a volcano. Doom reached, grabbed Iron Man’s hand, and teleported them away. 
Tony wasn’t expecting to wake up. One of these days, he was going to be right about that. Something would explode in his face and he’d just not ever wake up from that. God, sometimes he was looking forward to it, because waking up after being exploded always, always sucked. 
Sometimes less than others; being blown up in Afghanistan had decidedly been worse. 
Tony was flat on his back, but the material under him was relatively soft. 
His body ached, but he’d had worse muscle pain after a few days of blackout drinking and partying. Not that he did that as much anymore so he wasn’t used to it. 
And there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the room with him. Tony risked it and opened his eyes. 
It was decidedly not a hospital, despite the bag of fluids that hung on an IV stand by his bedside. Tony traced the line down to where it fed into the peripheral port in his left hand. 
The room was decorated, richly furnished, and the bed Tony was situated on had silk sheets, a rich, glowing gold. The other furnishings, a wardrobe, table, desk and chairs, were all elegant and tasteful, if not necessarily to Tony’s taste, at least to someone’s. 
Tony looked down at himself; he was wearing a white linen sleep-shirt of some sort and his wounds had been tended, cleaned and wrapped. He felt sort of shitty, but that was probably a result of battle and being exploded and not the care he’d gotten. 
He was, in a word, confused. 
Tony scrubbed his right hand over his face and swallowed; his throat was dry and he was thirsty. His hand continued down the side of his chin and then stopped cold. Something encircled his neck like a collar. More exploring proved that entirely right. He was wearing a god damned collar. Like a dog. Like a slave. 
Tony got to his feet, heedless of the IV stand, which pulled over and tugged at the site. Tony ripped it free, wincing a little. He pressed his fingers over the bleeding skin and held it down to staunch the flow. There was a mirror over the dresser on the far side of the room and he headed that way, aware of the plush carpet under his feet. What the actual fuck was going on? Where was he? 
The mirror threw back his face, a little beat-up, which was normal. Black eye, again. 
And a silver and green collar locked around his neck, metal, solid. 
Fuck. 
The door behind him opened and Tony reached for the first object he could find to use as a weapon. Not that a vanity bench was going to do him lots of good. 
The last person he expected to see was in the doorway. 
“Rabun!” The vanity stool fell from nerveless fingers and smashed into the floor, breaking into pieces. “What are you doing here?” 
Rabun spread his hands, his expression pained. “I live here.” 
“You work for Doom.” Tony’s voice was flat. His heart ached in his chest and he could barely breathe. But Rabun would never see that. Stark men are iron. 
“I work for Latveria, yes.” Rabun didn’t smile, didn’t try to explain, didn’t say anything. He pulled out a chair from the table and practically fell into it, his whole body screaming dejection. 
“You. Work for Doom. You work for the --” 
“Do not,” Rabun interrupted, cutting off Tony’s tirade, mid-rant. “I work for Latveria. I work for my home. I cannot change where I was born and I cannot change who I was born to be. I regret that this has come to pass. I did not wish you to find out in this manner.” 
Tony should be angry; he knew this, knew it like he knew his own name. He should feel betrayed. Lied to. Deceived. He should hate, with every fiber of his being, the man before him. He didn’t. Watching Rabun stare at the table, his whole body weighed down with grief, Tony could do nothing but ache. “It would put us at risk,” he said, slowly. “If it were known. Have I put you at risk, then?” 
“Not just yet,” Rabun said. 
“Doom saved my life,” Tony said, again, taking time with his words. There were too many questions, asking them would give away too much. He had to be careful, very careful, here, and lock away his heart. “Why would he do that?” 
“For me,” Rabun said. 
“He knows? About us?” What us? Was there an us anymore? When he didn’t even know the truth, when everything they’d made together had been built on a carefully constructed lie? 
“Doom knows,” Rabun said. “Doom has always known.” 
“It was a trap.” That wasn’t a question, but Rabun held out one hand, entreatingly. 
“No,” Rabun said. “If Doom had wanted to entrap you, Doom would have used bait.” 
Whatever ill-conceived thoughts Tony had harbored fell away. He would have fallen into that trap; he would have done anything, paid any price, if Doom had dangled Rabun in front of him. Tony had never been exactly reasonable when it came to threats against the people he loved. There were so few of them that fell into that category, Tony couldn’t stand to lose any of them. 
“He knew, and he did nothing?” That, Tony found a little hard to believe. 
“Doom knew. Doom allowed it. So long as it did not interfere with the project. The risk was not from Doom, but Doom’s allies. And enemies. Who would see you, who would see us, as an opportunity to exploit.” 
“So, why, then, are you not at risk?” 
“The world thinks you’re dead. Richards believed he was mistaken that Doom was in the explosion,” Rabun said. “Doom has made a public statement about the invasion. For once, the world’s outrage is enflamed on Latveria’s behalf.” 
“So what happens now?” Tony couldn’t help but raise his hand to the collar that someone -- probably Doom -- had put around his neck. 
Rabun winced. “For Doom, for you, for me,” Rabun said, “it would be best if you remained here. Not; I would prefer not as a prisoner.” 
“You might as well not sugar-coat it, sweetheart,” Tony said. “If I’m here for the rest of my life without being able to leave, or have anyone know I’m still alive, that’s a prisoner, whether I’m in chains or not.” 
If possible, Rabun looked even more despondent. “I know,” he said. “I wish I… that it had not… it’s worthless, my apologies. But you have it. This is not what I wanted for us.” 
“Us?” 
Rabun turned his head, eyes squeezing shut, his mouth twisting with pain. “I still love you,” he said. 
Tony blinked. His eyes burned and his throat ached. “You never said it.” 
“My great shame,” Rabun said, “that I could not say it when you would have believed me.” 
“Yeah.” 
Rabun sat there a while longer and both of them looked away, not able to meet the other’s gaze. Finally, without a word, Rabun stood up and left the room. 
Tony could not miss hearing the door lock behind him. 
He waited, until he was certain Rabun would not hear him, and then Tony fell to his knees and mourned. 
Years of experience, working hand in hand with spies and assassins, had given Tony more abilities than he’d had when he was a prisoner in Afghanistan. He could pick locks; he could subvert enemy robots, he could redirect the security cameras. 
He even managed to find tools and get the damn collar off his neck, which was a relief. 
What he couldn’t do, however, was actually leave. 
Tony arrived on the surface (because of course Von Doom had thrown him in some basement level type dungeon) and stared, aghast, at what had once been an amazing, if primitive, city. 
The city was abandoned; half of it burned to ash; smoke poured out of a few basements, the blaze still going hard underground. 
The warehouse that Tony had been in was completely gone. In its place was a sphere filled with what looked like a thunderstorm on fire. 
“What the hell?” 
“A warm light for all mankind,” Doom said, stepping up next to him. 
Tony didn’t allow himself to flinch and Doom didn’t… do anything. He just stood there, staring at the orb. 
“What happened?” Because even at the worst possible moment, Tony couldn’t help that cat’s curiosity about him, that need to know, followed up by the need to fix. 
Doom stood stiffly, hands clasped behind his back. “The arc-reactor core is melting down, constantly recycling, as more and more heat builds up. It is self-sustaining. Each moment, the force of it grows exponentially. Yesterday, it would have wiped out most of the city and surrounding countryside. Today it will flatten Latveria all the way to its borders and somewhat beyond. By tomorrow, half of Eastern Europe. In a week’s time, it’ll crack the planet down to the core.” 
“Holy hell,” Tony choked out. 
“Indeed.” Doom might have glanced at Tony; it was hard to tell with the mask that hid Doom’s face from the world. His voice, like Tony’s when he was in the armor, was modulated, emotionless. “Surrounding nations have closed their borders. Doom’s people cannot evacuate to a safe distance.”
“How long can the shield hold?” Tony shuddered. The shield was magical, something Tony rather abhorred, but at the moment he was willing to overlook it in the face of not being liquified immediately. All that Rabun had spoken of, earlier, was a lie. Doom had never intended for Tony to live. Or perhaps Rabun had not known. 
“Doom does not have enough data to be certain,” Doom said, “but Doom believes that the force will be too great to withstand within ten days. But Doom is planning to release it this day. The fate of Latveria is trivial, compared to the world. It will be remembered as a great disaster.” He tipped his head in Tony’s direction and said with a certain deadpan humor that Tony didn’t know Doom was capable of, “Perhaps they will even call it Doom’s Day, in the history books.” 
Tony couldn’t help but choke out a laugh. 
“You let me escape,” he said. 
“Yes,” Doom said. “All of Doom’s citizens are as far from here as they can get, with orders to storm the borders, if they must. You will join them. Doom will have no more deaths.” 
“And you?” 
“Doom will remain here,” Doom said. “Perhaps Doom can shunt the force of the blast. If not, Doom will still not abandon his home.” 
Tony stared at the orb, calculating furiously. “What day is it?” 
Doom gave him the date and Tony added the moon’s current location to his calculations. 
“You have a plan,” Doom observed. 
“Yeah. As it happens, I’m not in favor of large holes in the planet,” Tony said. “Conditionally.” 
“Name it.” 
Tony waited until Doom turned and gave Tony his full attention. “I want Rabun Alil. Let him go. Whatever hold you have on him, whatever he means to you, whatever he does for you. I want him to be free.” 
“Doom wishes he could do that,” Doom said, and even with the voice modulator, he sounded sincere. “It is not possible.” 
“Why not? He’s one man,” Tony demanded. “We’re talking about your entire nation, millions of people in the surrounding countries. What is he to you that you can’t let him live his own life?” 
Doom raised his hands to his mask. He touched two studs at the neck and lifted the iron faceplate free. He turned to face Tony, familiar silver hair spilling into his face, the amber eyes sad. “Because he’s me,” Rabun -- no, Victor fucking Von Doom -- said. “And if I ever meant anything to you at all, Tony, please… help me save my people.”
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Im 16 i saved 2 years for a car, bought one now cant afford insurance can someone help me? i live in kentucky?
Im 16 i saved 2 years for a car, bought one now cant afford insurance can someone help me? i live in kentucky?
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ok like i said i bought a car and im just wanting to be a secondary driver for right now but the cheapest place ive found is 1152 dollars every 6 month... and that is liability... im looking for something about 80-150 a month i dont care about what it offers just the cheapest possable insurance.... whats some small cheap insurance places... ILL TAKE ALL ANSWERS LOL... THANK YOU
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ok like i said i bought a car and im just wanting to be a secondary driver for right now but the cheapest place ive found is 1152 dollars every 6 month... and that is liability... im looking for something about 80-150 a month i dont care about what it offers just the cheapest possable insurance.... whats some small cheap insurance places... ILL TAKE ALL ANSWERS LOL... THANK YOU
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dy1kjxxa-blog · 5 years
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How to bring Car Insurance down?
How to bring Car Insurance down?
Here s the lowdown: Been driving for over 20 years on a Full UK Licence, apart from a few prangs 20 years ago have been driving without incident. Was a chauffeur for a few years, no traffic accidents. Was a delivery driver for a few years with no traffic accidents (the only one in the firm) Have also been driving a motorbike which 2 years ago I had to re-take my tests for. I scored 100% in all areas, theory, the section I called stunt driving and road test. I have kind of got fed up with using company cars, hire vehicles and the motorbike to get everywhere, so decided to purchase a cheap Audi A3 (I m talking an ancient one here). 3PFT insurance works out at over 1000 per year...about the same as the car is worth. This is too expensive for me (considering my bike insurance is 150 a year) how can I bring it down?
BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :4insurequotes.xyz
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Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
"Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
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i wanna go to the doctors without my parents knowing using there insurance. is it possible? and i live in california and im 19 years old. help:(
Can I apply for Medicaid when im 18!?
So, im 18... and I live with my boyfriend right now. I would like to get on my own insurance so that I can have dental insurance and be able to afford braces. Is it possible to sign up for some sort of dental care that I could get on even if Im only 18?""
Do older cars cost more for insurance? I was thinking of getting a bmw m3 2002 or 05.?
or for my 1st car should i just get a infinity? cus someone told me for those cars insurance is like 220 a month!!
I knocked someones car but he claimed for a lot more and now my insurance has gone from 400 to 900 - help!!?
Back in June I knocked into a stationary vehicle in a car park. I waited for the guy to come back and apologised straight away. (when its your fault in life own up) He was initially annoyed (fair enough) but went on to tell me that someone else had knocked into his car recently and caused 600 worth of damage (the other driver had sped off and hed already had a quote for the work). I cant remember the exact wording of the next bit - but it was understood that I would pay whatever it cost on top of that to fix the area (bumper / side corner area) We exchanged details. I told my insurance company what had happened and the previous damage. There were also photos taken at the time that I forwarded on (not sure if they were actually any help) Next I hear his insurance company has approached mine with a bill for 700. The total amount for fixing his car. I brought up the matter of the previous damage - couple of conversations between insurance companies - his asking him directly if there was any previous damage and him saying no. I told my insurance company that there was a friend with me (we were walking our dogs in the park) who had heard the whole conversation - in fact she was the one that took the pictures. She is a responsible, respectable person who was happy to make a statement. I was told by the insurance company that as it was someone who knew me - they couldnt be seen as an impartial person and they ended up paying the whole amount to his insurance company. I have just received my new insurance quote. Last year it was 437 and now that I have lost my 3 years no claims bonus (I have been driving for much longer but have only owned a small van for 3 years (practicality for my dogs muddy feet) and insurance starts again for vans) but I also have this 700 fault against my name this year. My insurance quote is now 960. Is there anything I can do. Does anyone have advice for any further action I can take? I believe in taking responsibility for your actions - but I am being cheated here out of a lot of money and I dont know what to do. If 100 was down to me then I could have just paid that amount directly and not lost my no claims bonus. But as it stands it will cost me around 500 this year and more again on the consequent years of insurance. Sorry for this being a long one but I really am lost. My insurance is due on 7th Jan.""
I'm not gay but need health insurance?
In my state (ct) my boyfriend can not add me to his health insurance policy because we are not a homosexual couple. We live together and have for a long time, but because we have the option of getting married I can't have coverage. While I am happy that Ct takes homosexual relationships into account, I feel heterosexuals are being discriminated against. We are not religious and in no hurry to marry- we are very happy. Any thoughts on the legalities here or how to get around this?""
Need a quote on car insurance by Norwich Union. Just passed test.?
A friend needs a quote on car insurance. He has just passed his test and is about to buy his first car. All details can be provided to find a rough estamate before he purchases car insurance from yourselves.
Which candidate do you agree with on Health insurance?
A=Mandatory universal coverage in first term. Tax credits for working families to make insurance more affordable  ensuring premiums do not exceed a percentage of income. Business would be required to offer insurance to employees or pay into a pool for people without it. Expand Medicare and federal employees' health insurance plan to cover those without adequate workplace insurance. Raise taxes on wealthier families to help pay estimated cost of $110 billion a year. Also, raise taxes on a portion of very generous plans covering people making more than $250,000. B=Mandatory coverage for children, no mandate for all. Aim for universal coverage by requiring employers to share costs of insuring workers and by offering coverage similar to that in plan for federal employees. Says package would cost up to $65 billion a year after unspecified savings from making system more efficient. Raise taxes on wealthier families to pay the cost.""
How much would insurance on a gt mustang cost for a 17 yr old male?
How much would insurance on a gt mustang cost for a 17 yr old male?
Which of these cars would be good for a first driver? Which one would have the cheapest insurance?
1. 2005 Ford Five Hundred 2. 2000-2005 Jeep Wrangler 3. 2000-2005 Honda Accord 4. 2007 Dodge Caliber 5. 2004-2006 Mazda 3 6. 2006-2007 Volkswagon Jetta Please Help!!!!
Is insurance for a V6 going to be automatically higher than a 4cyl?
Getting an Audi A4. The 1.8t (4 cycl) is the same cost as my insurance now. I found a 2.8t (v6) that I liked better though, and did not ask if that would cost more... Think it would kill my insurance?""
Need affordable car insurance for 16 yr. old can you help!?
do you have a teen that drives or just know what the best prices are!
Prior proof of insurance?
I just got progressive car insurance. They want me to send prior proof of insurance from my old company. Do I just send in my old insurance card?
Maternity insurance for self employed?
Hi, I am from ca and I was wondering if there is any affordable insurance for self employed family. I am not pregnant but planning on it in the next few months. any ideas?""
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Can i change my car insurance over to a new car after 2months ?
Is this possible and how does it work ? Can i change it over , let me know please , Thanks I have car that i only plan on having for 2months and then getting new car , is it easy to change it over to new car and what does it cost ?""
What's the best auto insurance you can get for a female under 25?
I had Liberty Mutual. I got a low premium because of my parents but when the taxes went up they totally jacked up my premium. Plus their customer service is TERRIBLE and they're grimy. So then I went to Progressive - One lady helped me get my policy, then I called them for another reason and another rep. said I didn't even get the best quote I could've gotten. I'm kind done with these brand name insurance companies. I was looking into one called Elephant insurance but I'm not sure if it's actually any good. Does anyone know anything about them? Is there any other company I can try? I'm 20, I turn 21 next month. I've never had an accident. And I don't know what my credit score is or if I even have one yet (I'm working on it.)""
Affordable term life insurance quote?
What good is affordable term life insurance?
""You must have car insurance, question about that?""
Here in Utah, it is law that you must have car insurance. I'm wondering though, what if I borrow my father's car, and it is insured, but I am not an insured driver, how does this work? Is it fine as long as the car is insured? I might not be an insured driver but does that still fulfill the law? If not, why do people borrow cars all the time?""
How does a wrecked car loan payoff (by insurance company) affect credit score?
I have a car that I have a loan on that has been wrecked. Since the bank owns the car, I have full coverage & insurance is writing it off. They are going to cut a check to the bank for the balance due on the car. I have so far paid this loan on time; it has been rebuilding my credit. When the loan is paid off by insurance, will I get more points to my score since the loan was technically paid off early? Or will I only gain based on my status as paid ontime at this point?""
How much a month for car insurance for a beginning 16 year old driver?
How much a month for car insurance for a beginning 16 year old driver?
What is the basic kind of insurance required by California Law?
What kind of insurance covers something like another driver hitting your car door, and then driving off before you could get their license plate # what is comprehensive , and what is collision, ?""
What do you think of the '08 Ford Fusion?
Insurance is cheap enough on em
Can I finance a car while on my dads car insurance?
I am looking to get a used car really soon, I have saved up enough money to put a good down payment down and have had a steady job for a little over 2 years now. The question is, will dealerships let me finance a car even tho I am on the car insurance with me dad? I am 20 yrs old and I still have insurance with him because I am a college student and also because I still live with him""
Some Cheap Auto Insurance Companies for Young Drivers?
Can you list cheap auto insurance companies for young drivers please?
When do you get your infrant car seat base installed by the California highway patrol?
Do they check for insurance on the vehicle?
Is auto insurance less expensive in Colorado Springs than California?
I am looking to relocate from Los Angeles to Colorado Springs and just wondering if insurance over in Colorado Springs are less expensive. I mean for liability or full coverage..
Is it legal for me to drive my friends car with my own insurance?
So my friend and I bought a car, however he does not have insurance yet, and I have comprehensive, liability and theft insurance for my own vehicle which is a Honda, now while I use his car, would it be legal for me to drive the car using my own insurance card? I have a notarized letter from my friend that I am allowed to use the car.""
What is the best car insurance company?
I need full coverage car insurance on my truck but I don't know who to get can some one help me
WHAT IS THE BEST AFFORDABLE LIFE INSURENCE?
WHAT IS THE BEST AFFORDABLE LIFE INSURENCE?
Car insurance for 17year olds? ?
Please answer this question for my cousin: I'm 17 in november and I'm planning on taking my theory on my birthday and the practical 3/4 weeks later because I can already drive well but before my practical I just want to have 3weeks worth of lessons on the road with the public instead of friends cars and stuff. My mum has said she will help me buy a car but when I look at insurance quotes they are very very expensive. I wanted to put my long term boyfriend who I live with during term time on my insurance policy so he can drive it as well. He has his own car but he is thinking of getting rid of it soon. He has been driving for 3 years and is 22. Is it cheaper just to have myself on the policy or with him on it too? What cars are nice (no old fashioned ugly cars) are cheap to insure for a 17year old girl?
Health insurance question for college student?
I'm a dependent college student under my parents health insurance plan and I was wondering if I take a semester off does the college notify the health insurance agency of my absence or do I have to notify them? health insurance provider is CSEA.
What kind of car insurances exist?
I know there is the one required by law, the liability, in which you'll cover another car's damage, and one where you ensure your own car (I don't know the specific name of it). What other kind of car insurances exist, and what are they called?""
Scooter insurance - Average cost?
I am 29, female, live in Greater London. Full cat B licence for 2 years, but no formal bike training, and will be riding a scooter of 50cc or lower. Any idea roughly how much I can expect to pay?""
Looking for affordable health insurance?
My employer does not offer health insurance. Does anyone know of a private health insurance company? I was with Blue-Cross Blue Shield and they kept raising the rates. I don't qualify for any assistance due to low income. Also some coverage for dental.
How much is car insurance for a 16 year old girl ?
Im about to get my license and i was wondering how much insurance would be. For a 16 year old girl 2011 camry or corolla. Anyone wanna guesstimate ?
Teen Car Insurance Price?
Currently driving my fathers old 2002 Mitsubishi Galant (basic 4-door car, nothing special), and planning on buying a Suburu BRZ (sports car) when I turn 18. My birthday is Dec. 25, I am currently 17 and I have had my license since I turned 16. I have a B average in school and I am planning on taking defensive driving also. I have had no claims or accidents at all. The car is just going to be for commute, probably about 13-17,000 miles a year (going to be traveling home from college). I will be on my parents insurance, but I was just wondering the quote. I tried doing it on a insurance website, however they don't give you a quote if you are under 18. I am planning on getting collision coverage. Thanks in advance.""
What to do when you have no health insurance?
I dont understand what to do if I'm sick or hurt and I dont have health insurance. The government wont help me, my community has meidcal assistance available to pregnant women, low income families with minor children and those who are aged, blind or disabled residing in the community or in a nursing home. And I dont qualify for any of these, I'm only 21, I'm not pregnant, and I dont have children. -how come help is given to people that are less responsible, but the people that try to do right dont get help at all? I cant afford health insurance, I dont qualify for government help, and I cant afford to go the hospital outright and get charged thousands of dollars that I will never be able to pay!""
""I am 17 years old, got my driving license 8 month ago, but i don't have insurance on my car! What would happen?""
What would happen if the cops would stop me? I have my mom's insurance, for my car , can it be helpful with the cops?""
Cheap insurance companies?
So ive just bought my new car, its a renault clio 1.4l. Its my first car and its insurance group 4. So i wanted to know if anybody knows any cheap and good insurance companies, thanks""
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Auto Insurance?
A friend of mine just got a quote for insurance of around 2400 per year. She has no driving record, drives a older car, is female, and past 35 years of age. Granted she lives in NJ. This cant be right. We can only come up with 2 possible reasons. First, she's only had a US liscence for a year a now. Second, her husband has a suspended Liscence. Is this normal?""
Are you going to purchase health insurance as required by law ?
Now that the public option is off the table ? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091209/ap_on_bi_ge/us_health_care_overhaul Where's the guarantee that it will become affordable ?
I am looking for a good team name for an insurance agency.?
we are selling insurance products, estate planning and other financial products.""
Is someone else covered under my car insurance to drive MY car?
A guy I'm dating will ask to use my car from time to time because he has trouble with his, but I'm hesitant because even though he has his own car and own car insurance, I don't think he's covered under my insurance to drive MY car. Does anyone know exactly how this works??? I have Nationwide, if that makes a difference............""
Getting car insurance?
what difference does it make getting car insurance at the end of the month or waiting until the 1st? i dont get it. i didnt think it mattered but i;m getting told to wait until the 1st? :S
Is car insurance policy number confidential?
brother is applying for his own car insurance to A. A asks if anyone else has drivers license, and requesting policy number from other family members and their respective insurance providers.. Is that necessary?""
Why is 6 months of the cheapest car insurance $700? What would be the cheapest provider for me?
Details: Im 19, Had my license for 1.5 years, no accidents, live in an apartment with 2 room mates, good credit, have a 1997 dodge stratus es 4 door, and in college. What would be the cheapest provider to make it legal? Also, are there any tricks I can use to make it cheaper?""
Will I loose my parents health insurance if I fail one of my college courses?
All too soon I'm going under the knife and I'm worried to death that me failing my online english will cause me to loose my parent's health insurance. Does anyone know if I will or not?
Around how much would car insurance be if im under 21?
Like if i go under my parents insurance, how much more would it be? Thanks :)""
Auto accident??? insurance?
just wondering how much will my auto insurance go up if i file a claim?? there was no injuries and no damage to the other partys car. my car was estimated $4000 of damage to fix.. me and my mom pay $180 a month for 3 cars. 2 full coverage and 1 is only liability. good thing that i have full cov on the car i used.
Is a hatchback (3 door car) considered a sports car with insurance?
if not what is it considered and is the cost higher than a sports car
Rough Estimate For Liability Insurance?
Roughly what would is cost monthly for a million dollar liability insurance policy for a lawn/landscape business. The owners of the business would be under the age of 25
Car insurance estimate?
Hi i'm currently 16 and soon to be old enough to take driving lessons, but first off i have a question. What would be the likely insurance premium for a 2009 BMW Z4 23i kept in a public place with viper alarm system and a steering lock.""
Does anyone have any suggestions for affordable health insurance for the self employed?
I am a self employed horse trainer and can't find an insurance company to insure me for a reasonalbe amount of money.
Auto Insurance Help....?
I need insurance on my car, and i don't fully own it, my name is on the title and i finaced it so i have a lien on it....i'm only 20 so full coverage is pretty expensive! would it be possible for my dad to be able to add me to his policy?""
""Car Accident, Cheep car, did not go through insurance.?""
Me and my friend were going home. I was being an idiot and tried drifting. I over steered and ended up on top of 2 stumps. The axel broke and the car was not drivable. The cost was only 500 dollars. It was not worth fixing it. I asked him and he said he was fine but his back was little soar. The next day i gave him a call and he said that he will not go to the doctor and that the back will fine, its just a little soar. 2 days after he went to the doctor and told that he got into a car accident. Why in the hell a best friend would do that?... They asked for the insurance information. The medical insurance would not pay for it, thats what he said. The bill came in 2 weeks later for 1700 dollars. What should i do?""
Car insurance question regarding friends car?
(This is in Ohio). My friend let me drive her car when the roads were kind of bad due to weather. At an intersection, the light turned yellow, and I began to slide on the ice. I had control of the car, however, if I would have continued to slide straight I would have been hit side on by the incoming cars coming through the intersection. Instead, I had to turn the wheel and I hit a pole. No damages were done to the pole, any other cars, or people. Unfortunately when we took the car to an autobody shop, getting an estimate without the use of insurance, we got an average cost of $2,200. There's NOT that much damage on the left bumper to make the cost so expensive. Both me and my friend are insured, however, MY insurance company is saying it's her car, so her insurance has to pay for it. How will this work? If I ask her to pay using her insurance, I don't want her to pay any out of pocket. I would pay the deductible. Will this hurt her insurance, or my pocket? Any other good ideas? Thanks so much.""
WHAT INSURANCE WILL HELP MENTAL HEALTH?
so i lost my health insurance at 19 and im trying to go on one by myself, i got to an outpatient program called High Focus for anxiety and depression and were paying out of pocket for this which is extremely expensive, can someone tell me an insurance that would cover this High Focus center its a private place and does not accept medicade, medicare, or state funds.""
""So i have a full coverage on my car insurance, and now this situation, need advice?
The insurance estimator guy told me that i can only take my car to a specific place to be repaired OTHERWISE he is going to tell me that the car being ruined was my fault (it ...show more
How are my insurance rates gonna look if i....?
i'm currently 17 (18 april 8th) and i've been driving legally since last july (got permit oct. 2007). on my record it says i'm driving my mom's 98 chevy venture (minivan). my dad and i are getting a 5.0l v8 mustang from around '86 to '93 and are fixing it up for me to drive. my dad's worried that the engine is pretty powerful so insurance rates will skyrocket (which he obviously doesn't want to pay along with the awful mpg this car has). will my insurance rates lower, stay the same, go up a little, or skyrocket?""
How much do u spend for your car insurance a year?
I would like to compare the fares to german car insurances.. e.g. for a VW Polo or Ford Fiesta..
AIG car insurance in west coast?
hi i recenlty moved from east coast to west coast...i used to have car insurance with AIG while at eastcoast....does any one know if AIG serves car insurance in westcoast also.....especially in Los angeles
Where can i get cheap auto insurance for an 18 year old student with a mustang?
Well this may sound like a long shot, but I just recently bought my son a Ford Mustang, Now its insurance time, hes 18, gets A's in school and has had drivers ed. Why do the quotes from Progressive and esurance estimate its going to cost nearly $500 a month, even with a 1990 honda junker it still cost nearly $400 do these prices seem reasonable, i cant recall them being that high, when i first got insurance, thanks.""
AUTO INSURANCE FOR YOUNG DRIVERS?
I've been driving since about last summer, and i've tried looking for some auto insurance inexpensive something i can afford, no luck so far, i heard there is a government sponsored insurance that can help people out so they wont be driving around without insurance? is this true? or does anyone know cheap auto insurance, im a good driver its just check points really scare me when im out during the weekends. thanks!""
Insurance price on r32gtr?
Ok since r32 skylines a now practically legal to import to the U.S from japan i was wondering how much would insurance cost me for a 1989 nissan skyline gtr r32. These skylines will have clean clear texas titles. I live in Houston, Texas and age ...lets just say older than 25""
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
Andover New Hampshire Cheap car insurance quotes zip 3216
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/maine-insurance-premium-tax-donald-harris/"
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kaylainbloom · 8 years
Text
An IUD-- what to “expect”
So I am a 20 year old female who has never had children before and I wanted to get on birth control. I did a whole lot of research, went to various GYNs, and weighed my options. I get horrible cramps, like keep you in bed, sweating, light headed, blackout, throw up cramps. In 2016, for the first time ever, my cramps were getting better (but that might also be because I was pumping myself full of tylenol and aleve). I was sick and tired of taking medication that I knew we killing my liver and kidneys, I also wised up and realized a 20-year-old sexually active woman should be on birth control.
After my search for birth control, I realized that an IUD would be my best option. I know I’m forgetful so the pill was out, I also have problems with fibroadenomas and hormones, so anything with estrogen was out. My doctors and I came to the decision that an IUD was best for me. I just had to choose between Mirena, Paraguard or Skyla.
All IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child. as stated before I DO NOT.
Mirena is a small, flexible, T-shaped device that is implanted in the uterus. Mirena uses levonorgesterel– a progestin birth control hormone–and slowly releases a small amount into the uterus over time. Because it releases hormones directly into the uterus, it releases a lower level of hormones into the body than oral contraceptive pills. The IUD slows or stops the movement of the sperm and egg by changing cervical mucus, fallopian tubes and the uterine lining. It takes about 7 days for the hormonal IUD to start working, and it remains effective for 5 to 7 years. Mirena is known to lessen periods to the point that it could completely go away.
My other option was a Paraguard. Paragard is also a type of IUD but it is copper and does not have any hormones. It works because it cuts off sperms access to your eggs. Periods tend to worsen with a Paraguard IUD.
My last choice was Skyla. Like Mirena, Skyla releases progestin into the body. Unlike Mirena it is only good for 3 years. As with Mirena, you might experience some changes in your period, including having no period at all but unlike Mirena, some women experience increased menstrual bleeding and discomfort.
*all of the IUD come with side effects such as ovarian cysts, acne, or breast tenderness, or have abdominal or pelvic pain, allergic reaction and a depressed mood that I encourage you to look upon your own*
Because of my already pre-existing cramps, I decided to go with Mirena. As I stated before IUDs are recommended for women who have had a child, this is due to the fact that the device is implanted in the uterus. If you’ve never had a child before your cervix is pretty much completely shut, there are instances of doctors not being able to insert the IUD because they cannot get the cervix open which is an extremely painful process.
I searched the deeps corners of the internet at 2am the day before my procedure and found all these horror stories of terrible pain and cramping for months at a time (you can look these up on your own but I don’t recommend it). I almost backed out. I asked my friends about their experiences because I figured people only went on the internet to tell the horrible ones, and the anxious person I am I just had to know if the procedure and the recovery was as bad as everyone was saying. This is what they had to say:
“Lmao no lie it was shitty afterwards I was spotting like brown stuff for legit 2 months and was crampy, I lived on aleeve. But now? Bitch. Whos a period? I DONT know her. Cramps? Mood swings? Can’t relate. It’s not bad it hurts a little but it’ll be over really quickly” (mirena)
“The insertion was rough honestly, make sure you have a ride back cuz I thought I could walk back from the health center but I couldnt, it feels like intense period cramping. Then for a while afterwards your body goes through trying to reject it since its a foreign object in your body. So your first period after getting it is going to be terrible Im not gonna lie, i deadass thought I needed an ambulance lol and you're gonna spot on and off for a while until the IUD makes a home in your uterus. I wont lie its rough for the first few months until your body gets used to it so be prepared but honestly its the best thing I did. I got the paraguard so its hormone free. I was on birth control pills for so long and i really didnt react well to the hormones. When it comes to contraception I can 100% say the IUD is your best bet. 7-10 years baby free, you can get it taken out whenever you want. Although I will say, your partners may feel the strings that hang from the IUD from certain angels, but its a minor inconvenience compared to a baby LOL” (paraguard)
“so this is actually funny because I’ve unfortunately had nothing but problems since i’ve gotten the IUD. i first got it in December 2015 and i had the worst cramps of my life for a few weeks after and my period of super long lasting like 2-3 weeks. then i went for my 3 month check up and found out my body was rejecting the IUD so i got another put in and it just got worse. i started having ridiculously heavy periods and there were blood clots coming out. i thought i had uterine fibroids or cysts so i went to get an ultrasound and it turns out my body is rejecting the IUD again so i’m getting it removed monday because i’m just not eligible for it, unfortunately, i’m so upset about it because i really wanted it to work and i have friends that love it and have no complaints and it’s just so convenient cause you literally never worry about being pregnant”
“DONT WORRY! getting an IUD was literally the best decision i’ve made. Tthe forums will totally freak you out. and it’s definitely painful, but it just feels like a really bad period cramp that lasts like 30 seconds. i had cramps for at most two weeks after. and they weren’t constant just occasional. and i had like blood spotting for a little more than a month. of course it’s different for everyone! the forums scared me too but i personally feel it was worth it and i’ve had it for a little over 6 months now.”
Admittedly, even though there was some horror mixed in, this felt REAL. So I decided to go to my appointment. If you asked me now, id say it was a quick process, two sharp burst of pain then you’re done. Im on day 3 and I only had cramps for the first half an hour after but I took a tylenol-codiene leftover from a previous surgery before hand and Ive been taking aleve ever since. But when I got out of the procedure heres what I texted my boyfriend: That was the worst pain I’ve ever experienced in my life. So first they had to measure and dilate my cervix and apparently my cervix is small and short so when they opened it i like yelled cuz that shit hurt and that was the first pain and there was blood so she couldn’t see so it took longer then they went to put it in and before it was like cramping then it ended. But when they put this other thing idk what it was I think it was a way for them to slide the IUD in? That hurt so bad I screamed and tears came to my eyes. She said that should be the worst of it because putting in the IUD shouldn’t hurt more because everything was in place so if I could handle that I could handle the IUD. Then she put it in… I screamed and that shit felt like cramping mixed with a fucking knife and there was bleeding so they had to apply pressure and that shit hurt. So like once they were done it was like a dull constant pain. I laid there for a second and then i got dressed. After i got dressed i started shaking and sweating and i fell on the floor and they had to put me in the chair and took my blood pressure and it spiked. Apparently I went into shock. Im in the car rn the codeine finally kicked in but I’m still nauseous and shaky.”
I can’t remember pain, but I dealt with it, the whole procedure was less than 5 minutes and within a half an hour I was feeling better. My vagina was swollen that night but today its fine. I honestly think it was worth it. If the healing process goes well I’ll be ecstatic. Its only day 3 so I don’t want to get ahead of myself but everyone said that this would be the worst time, for me it feels fine. It might be because Im on pain killers but I didnt expect to be this good. I have little to no pain, some spotting but thats to be expected this first month. Im already happy with my decision and I will keep you updated (obviously much shorter lol) on how the healing process is going! Lemme know if y’all have any questions!
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