#which is stupid because no one cares

[luxeberries]

i think about bo burnham saying 'if you can live your life without an audience, you should do it' at least once a day

[carlyraejepsans]

I'm never gonna finish this fic, sooooo

[naturecalls111]

I think I love Sanji so extra much because he’d acknowledge my ‘girl-ness’ in a way that I feel like has not ever been acknowledged in a way I wanted it to be wails

The chivalry intended not with hopeful reciprocation but with admiration. WAILS.

[adhd-merlin]

when Arthur finally admits his feelings for Gwen to Merlin and says "my father would never let me marry her", and Merlin goes "you want to MARRY Gwen?!" like "shit, dude, I didn't realise it was this serious"

[mokeonn]

Before I go to sleep I leave you all with this piece of advice: sometimes you don't actually have to answer big political questions, sometimes you can just say "I am not smart enough to know that, I just know the small things I do to help." Like you can often times completely avoid making a fool of yourself if you just say you don't know.

[laniidae-passerine]

catch me laughing in the club awkwardly because this season has a 19 year old blonde female companion from London, a space travelling left of law brunette queer boy who flirts heavily with the doctor, absolutely zero writers of colour and no mention of sensitivity readers…….and next season the new companion is a woman of colour. uh oh!

[figofswords]

anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already

[laniemae]

I am going to take a break from milgramblr

[important please read]

ok now how do I start. Im going to take a break from tumblr for about a week. Things have been absolutely awful for me here since the very beginning of 2024, even if it may not look that way at times.

to retell the situation it happened with the new years gartic phone game, where someone made a prompt about a ship that made me heavily uncomfortable. To put it loosely it reminded me of an extremely bad experience with a fandom a few years ago when I called out a ship for being creepy and having a huge age gap but I was constantly dogpiled and harassed. It was probably the worst experience I’ve had on the internet and to this day I get really scared of people hating on me and I apologise for everything likely stemming back from the situation.

I tried to persist with the game but I got really upset and left. I expressed on my blog how uncomfortable I felt about the whole situation. Then this one person, who’s a prominent figure in the Milgramblr community, I won’t name them but I think you’ll know who, replied on my post saying that “it’s ok because…” in such an awful tone. It’s hard to explain but basically it felt really bad as they completely dismissed my feelings about the situation just to justify their creepy ship. And even worse, they way they responded was EXACTLY the same way that everyone else responded back in to at old fandom. At the point to I’d much prefer hate and harassment over that false positive attitude.

I freaked out and immediately blocked them and basically went into a panic attack. I was freaking out on my blog and just to make things worse I saw a post praising them and things got so bad. It was the start of the new year and I was on holiday and was supposed to do a bunch of things but because of that situation I was bedridden and couldn’t stop crying. I had so many nightmares about everyone here turning on me and the original incident and I still have them.

the way the person reacted to my situation was absolutely awful. After my breakdown they immediately went to their blog and started posting about how the ships good and you should praise it completely disregarding everything that happened. I’ve always been uncomfortable with them but this pushed me over the edge. And later on I got in contact with someone who was (presumably) trying to help me and we decided to see if that person could make an apology. But they took way to long to even think they gave any attention to the situation and the apology itself didn’t feel that genuine.

This person was still posting about it and didn’t change their pfp and title despite how bad it was to me and they did not do anything at all. Again I’m not naming anyone but I highly recommend you do not support them anymore. I said I’m going to be leaving for a while but if you want clarification on who it is you can just ask, I’ll check my stuff tomorrow morning before I completely shut off for the week.

I don’t know who it was but there was even a throwaway account hating on me and saying awful things. I didn’t care that much as things had already gotten so bad for me that I didn’t care about the opinion of an anon. But like I said, the sickly positive response that person gave was way worse than actual hate.

and that’s only one part of the story. Another thing happened much more recently with the person I mentioned who was trying to help me. They were the first person I followed on Milgramblr and the person who inspired me to join and make all these theories, so with this and them helping me I really looked up to them. It was a few days ago I think but they posted something on their account about that person and wanting attention to them. I expressed my uncomfortable feelings about the situation and they didn’t do anything about it. Instead they decided to KEEP POSTING about it, like constantly and me getting more upset at the situation and how they responded made it clear that they didn’t care at all. I blocked them and we were mutuals for a while.

It’s been a month and I’m still suffering very badly. I’m not constantly crying as I was when it first happened but it still pains me. I’ve been feeling incredibly distressed on this sight knowing that the original person hasn’t done anything about it and they’re still very close. No matter how much I block them or blog tags I still see them in reblogs or bought up. I had to exclude anything relating to the earbuds collab from my milgram archives as it gives me back really bad memories to the pfps involved. I just can’t feel safe in this place anymore and especially that no matter how I feel, nothing has changed since when it happened and no one’s even actually trying to help me or change things.

I’ve just been feeling so bad that I’ve been going days without eating. Just because I can’t be bothered to get out of bed. The only solace for me is sleep but even that’s not good enough as I might have nightmares and I often feel much more tired afterwards. Things are changing for me as I actually have to get up and do something now and it’s surprisingly going kinda well, but that has nothing to do with this situation.

just to note I will be continuing my milgram archives series, I’ve scheduled quite a few posts for this week so they’ll keep going. For me I’ll completely cut off all activity for this week, and may return on Wednesday.

it’s just. I hate how nothings changed. I want something to happen but no one’s helping

[pinacoladamatata]

eating my popcorn watching all this drama go down irt the larian discord server

[moeblob]

Someone sent me a message on Discord like "why is everyone obsessed with the Random Guy" in regards to the tags on my previous post. SO. I definitely rambled there but also I love this plot a whole lot and it's very dear to me so:

Tolliver is the "Just a Guy" who Kronos wants dead for stealing all of the Devil's focus. The thing is, Tolliver doesn't WANT the focus but not much he can do! He was born and his parents opted to sell /his/ soul to the succubi in exchange for wealth and fame. So while they retained souls (and then promptly died after ticking off the wrong people with their money and habits, coincidental deaths of course) he doesn't have that leniency. He can do whatever he wants and he'll still be dragged to Hell when he dies even if he's a saint. His soul is already waiting for him down there.

So the Devil is like "well, time to send low ranking demons after my living toy but I distinctly do not wish him dead yet" and that's not really a thing Tolliver knows. So he thinks if he doesn't really fight back he's just gonna die early and while he doesn't think it's nice on earth, he'd rather not start his eternal burning quite yet. So he uses a magic marker (literally) to ward off and banish the demons. That's why the Devil is invested in him - it's entertainment on earth with his future property!

Kronos going up to kill him and then failing and then becoming his roommate is actually the reason why other demons kinda track Tolliver. They're tracking Kronos. They need Kronos back in Hell come on stop loitering on earth buddy. (he continues to loiter on earth)

The siren is purely coincidental in that Tolliver sees her when it's cold and gives her his jacket completely unaware she isn't even human. Then we have one of the bad guys, The Boogeyman. He feeds off of nightmares and that means Tolliver is a delight since all he HAS is nightmares. Man's never had a good dream in his life. So it's a nice little "promised" meal but he ropes the Sandman into luring others to sleep for him to feed off of. Eventually Lady Luck gets involved with Boogie and she's a bit arrogant and childish (there's lore there) and then she sees Tolliver. Fighting against Boogie's grasp despite having nothing to fight for. And she decides he deserves one win in his life since it's clear that the hand he's been dealt sucks. And stops helping Boogie which ends up being his demise.

All the demons that directly interact with Tolliver aren't there for the random guy, honestly. They're there for Kronos. Who unfortunately is obsessed with Tolliver (and he's got such a weird gay crush on the guy and gets so emotionally distraught when Tolliver doesn't feel the same cause he doesn't feel anything for anyone because he doesn't have a soul and feels zero attachment.)

[dreamyprinx]

y’all remember when I made a language for my whimsy world and then never did anything with it and even made a font for it? haha

[mrgaretcarter]

Honestly I think it would do us all well to go back to kinda cringy feminism again for a little bit idk cause I think maybe for some people the discourse somehow circled back around to supporting sexism just rebranded or whatever so its more aesthetic

[ellies-enrichment]

oh my god my editor for this fic is the slowest editor that has ever existed

*i am the editor for this fic*

[rxttenfish]

headcanon: when aaravi both feels safe enough and has people who genuinely care about her/encourage her and can genuinely excite her and make her feel happy, she gets wiggly. not just in being unable to sit still in her head, but also in terms of flappy hands, constant need to move around, getting up and pacing, touching and grabbing other people, getting even louder, exaggerating her movements and emotions even greater, and generally just doing everything she can to try and shake out all of the excess electric energy that she suddenly feels coiled up inside of her and doesn't know how to deal with.

its fairly uncommon due to all the usual reasons (having to forcibly repress her emotions, fear of rejection and abandonment, people lashing out at her due to the specific way she shows joy, people just outright hating aaravi and not letting her have this happiness), but if someone's lucky enough to experience that from her it feels like sitting in a ray of sunshine just to see her happy.

[quietwingsinthesky]

the amount of time i spend thinking about Even carrying the metacrisis doctor’s fob watch is really quite disproportionate to how much ive fleshed out that part of the story in my head

[fictionadventurer]

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