#which leads to checking/reassuring compulsions

[avinox]

Thinking about the comment one of the members of my college friend group said a few years ago about how I'm always trying to explain and get to the root of things, and I immediately tried to discern why I do that because I never noticed, and she said "See?"

It kinda felt shameful to me, to be exposed like that. Idk I still feel bad when I remember cause it's like she noticed my patterns and I'm weird and if she noticed then so did everyone else.

[girlscience]

hng rgg aaaggh. maybe confronting the possibility that perhaps i might have sexuality and gender related ocd tendencies and i really don't want to *lays down and cries on the lab floor*

[necrotic-nephilim]

for the ask game

tim creates a clone of kon, but this is dicktim tim has to carry the fetus or breastfeed it, but dick suddenly gets a mommy kink and immediately falls in love

for the ask game!

DICKTIM MOMMY KINK. how did you know i have such a thing for just about any Batcest ship where the other person calls Tim mommy. i don't even know why i just think that shit is so fun.

it'd have to be Omegaverse for me, that's the only scenario i personally could write m-preg. i like the thought of no one knowing that Tim has gone on this crusade. and after 99 failures, Tim's so desperate and angry he tries in vitro fertilization. the first few times it doesn't work so he doesn't take it too seriously, at this point it's just a compulsion. he gets to a point he stops taking the pregnancy tests. so when about a month later, he's experiencing morning sickness and he's missed his heat, Tim has an 'oh, shit.' moment. and well. telling Dick first is his *natural* answer. (i think he'd also go to Steph, but in canon she'd be "dead" at this point) Tim doesn't know what to do, he didn't think he'd get this far. Dick is comforting and grounding, agreeing to help Tim hide this the best he can. Tim has to time it right, fake a bad injury so it makes sense he's benched and wearing baggy sweaters for a few months.

it's platonic at first. Dick is an alpha but his bond with Tim is more of a pack bond and he's just trying to help Tim through this awkward situation he got himself into. (and not laugh at him too much in the process bc well. only Tim. only Tim could manage this.) the pregnancy hormones have Tim all over the place. he's seeking comfort and Dick is trying to keep it platonic and professional, even when he's cuddling Tim or bringing him weird cravings at 2 am. the trust in Dick and Tim's bond makes Dick Tim's only real support system. (also just bc the Titans were a goddamn mess in this era) maybe at some point they tell Bruce the truth but Bruce is dealing with Jason so. bigger fish. it forces them closer as Dick is the only one who can help Tim with the awkward sides of pregnancy. Dick is basically living with Tim and because Tim can't satiate the itch to be in the field (he's tried sneaking out, it earned him a lecture from Dick and a warning that Dick would handcuff him to the radiator if Tim tried that again) so Tim runs comms. for anyone who asks, but mostly for Dick, to the point he's in Dick's ear even when Dick doesn't need the backup, just to keep each other company.

i think, as the pregnancy went on and Tim's chest started to fill out and his hips are bigger, that's when Dick's feeling shift. one second Tim is just his pack, the next Tim is suddenly a very pretty, very vulnerable omega that's Dick is protecting and his wires get all kinds of crossed about it. he starts dousing himself in scent blockers so Tim doesn't notice the change, can't smell how much Dick wants him. which makes Tim annoyed because Dick's scent has been a consistent calming factor keeping the worst of his hormones in check. it'd lead to an awkward fight where Dick is dancing around the truth and Tim just wants to bite him out of anger. finally, Dick admits it and. Tim kind of bluescreens bc sure he's had a crush on Dick for years, but it's sort of like your celebrity crush calling you up and asking for a date. it makes no sense and he can't wrap his head around it. he almost thinks Dick is making fun of him, because Tim is super self-conscious about the pregnancy and mortified he put himself in this situation. it takes a lot of reassurance and a long conversation, but. well, they do end up having sex.

Dick doesn't *mean* to call Tim mommy the first time. he knows Tim hates being emasculated as an omega, and knows Tim is vulnerable about being pregnant. their sex is gentle, no matter how much Tim insists he can take it because Dick doesn't want to hurt the baby, or Tim. it's when Tim finally huffs with annoyance and flips them over -reminding Dick that Tim is still trained and deadly, even like this- to take control and actually get the rough sex he needs right now, when it slips out. there's something just very pretty about Tim taking control and taking what he needs from Dick, but still being whiny and squirmy on top of him. so the first time Dick calls him mommy is an accident and they're *both* startled by just how much they like it. their sex life goes from soft and caring to *very* interesting overnight, where Dick doesn't hide how much he likes Tim's chest. and well. breastfeeding kink. for completely scientific reasons, of course. just to help the milk flow and make sure Tim's body is adjusting well. definitely not bc of the noises Tim makes when Dick does it no sir.

when Tim finally has the clone baby, they're both smitten with this tiny clone. i think they'd end up mating and either say it's Dick's baby or they adopted it. (the lie only works short term bc well, sooner or later that baby's going to start lifting trucks. not to mention Kon does come back to life and is perturbed by how much Tim's kid looks like him.) it's a very cute, fluffy happily ever after sort of deal, with plenty of mommy kink. i think Tim would be huffy and annoyed at how long he'd have to wait for sex bc in my mind, Tim uses sex as a stress relief and is very annoyed when he's deprived of it so, they'd find creative ways around it.

[ocdanxiety018]

Understanding Magical Thinking OCD: A Deep Dive into Scrupulosity, Religious, and Moral OCD

Magical Thinking OCD  also known as scrupulosity OCD, religious OCD, or moral OCD, is a subtype of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) that revolves around irrational beliefs and fears related to morality, religion, or superstition. Individuals with this form of OCD may experience intrusive thoughts that their actions or thoughts could lead to catastrophic consequences, such as harming themselves or others, or violating religious or moral principles. These thoughts are often accompanied by rituals or compulsions performed to neutralize the perceived threat or prevent harm, which can significantly impair daily functioning and quality of life.

Scrupulosity OCD is characterized by excessive concern with moral or religious issues, leading to intrusive thoughts about sin, blasphemy, or moral wrongdoing. These individuals may feel compelled to confess their perceived sins repeatedly or engage in rituals to seek forgiveness or avoid punishment. For example, someone with scrupulosity OCD may fear that not praying a certain number of times or in a specific way will lead to harm coming to themselves or their loved ones.

Religious OCD, on the other hand, focuses specifically on religious beliefs and practices. Individuals with this form of OCD may obsess over whether they have committed a religious offense or fear that their actions will lead to divine punishment. They may engage in rituals such as excessive prayer, avoidance of religious symbols, or seeking reassurance from religious figures to alleviate their anxiety.

Moral OCD, sometimes referred to as just right OCD, involves obsessive thoughts about morality and ethics. These individuals may be preoccupied with the idea of right and wrong, often fearing that their actions will lead to harm or moral corruption. They may engage in rituals such as repeatedly checking their actions, seeking reassurance from others, or mentally reviewing past events to ensure they have not done anything wrong.

Treatment for Magical Thinking OCD typically involves a combination of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and medication. CBT helps individuals challenge and change their irrational beliefs and behaviors, while medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), can help alleviate symptoms of anxiety and depression associated with OCD.

It is important for individuals with Magical Thinking OCD to seek help from a mental health professional experienced in treating OCD. With proper treatment and support, individuals with this condition can learn to manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

[wagmi-mga2024mi5019]

(BLACK AND RED HATS - NEGATIVE EFFECTS + EMOTIONAL ASPECTS)

Symptoms of BDD According to Better Health Channel:

Symptoms can vary according to which body part (or parts) is targeted, but general symptoms of BDD include:

thinking about the perceived defect for hours every day

worrying about their failure to match the ‘physical perfection’ of models and celebrities

distress about their preoccupation

constantly asking trusted loved ones for reassurance about their looks, but not believing the answer

constantly looking at their reflection or taking pains to avoid catching their reflection (for example, throwing away or covering up mirrors)

constant dieting and overexercising

grooming to excess – for example, shaving the same patch of skin over and over

avoiding any situation they feel will call attention to their defect. In extreme cases, this can mean never leaving home

taking great pains to hide or camouflage the ‘defect’

squeezing or picking at skin blemishes for hours on end

wanting dermatological treatment or cosmetic surgery, even when professionals believe the treatment is unnecessary

repeat cosmetic surgery procedures, especially if the same body part is being ‘improved’ with each procedure

depression and anxiety, including suicidal thoughts.

...According to Youtube

Frequent Critical Thoughts About Appearance The first sign of BDD is having frequent critical thoughts about one's physical appearance, even when the perceived flaws are not noticeable to others. Despite reassurance from friends and doctors, individuals with BDD may still view parts of their body as deformed or ugly.

Repetitive Behaviors or Mental Acts

Another sign of BDD is engaging in repetitive behaviors or mental acts, such as spending an excessive amount of time looking in mirrors, surfaces, or cameras to check on perceived flaws. These negative thoughts about appearance may manifest as a compulsive need to check or compare one's body image.

Significant Distress or Impairment A key feature of BDD is when obsessions and compulsions cause significant distress or impairment in various areas of life, such as work, school, or social relationships. This level of distress or impairment is a determining factor in diagnosing a mental disorder.

Delusional Thoughts About Others' Perceptions While not a diagnostic criterion, it is common for individuals with BDD to have delusional thoughts that others are judging or mocking them for their appearance, even without evidence. This delusion of reference can lead to intense distress.

Not Meeting Criteria for an Eating Disorder To be diagnosed with BDD, an individual cannot meet the criteria for an eating disorder, such as anorexia or binge eating disorder. BDD is characterized by a preoccupation with perceived physical flaws, rather than a focus on weight or body shape.

[psychopatois]

Understanding OCD: Exploring the Various Subtypes

This is a continuation/part 2 of the original post under the same title "Understanding OCD."

Overview

The symptoms of OCD manifest differently across individuals. Experts, including clinicians and researchers, propose that OCD can be categorized into distinct types based on the symptomatic patterns observed. This categorization has led to the identification of various subtypes.

The 5 Main Subtypes

Contamination Obsessions with Washing/Cleaning Compulsions typically involve a significant preoccupation with contamination fears, driving individuals to engage in excessive washing or cleaning in an attempt to alleviate distress.

Harm Obsessions with Checking Compulsions are characterized by severe thoughts of potential self-harm or harm to others. People may adopt checking rituals as a means to mitigate these anxieties. For instance, the fear of a house fire might lead one to repeatedly drive by their home for reassurance, or the belief that merely thinking about a catastrophic event could make it happen.

Obsessions without Visible Compulsions typically involve experiencing persistent, unwelcome thoughts of a sexual, religious, or aggressive nature. To cope with the anxiety these thoughts induce, mental rituals, such as repeating specific words, counting, or praying mentally, are often performed. A common avoidance strategy is steering clear of anything that triggers these thoughts, such as the intrusive fear of committing assault.

Symmetry Obsessions with Ordering, Arranging, and Counting Compulsions involve an overpowering need to order and reorder objects until they feel "just right." This may extend to repetitive thoughts or utterances until a task is completed to perfection. These activities can be motivated by the belief that they will prevent harm.

Hoarding is now identified as a separate condition within the Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders category, as per the DSM-5-TR. It is marked by obsessive fears of losing items that may be needed in the future, as well as excessive attachment to objects, which often leads to significant distress and can impair employment stability. Unlike other OCD subtypes, compulsive hoarding can manifest without other OCD characteristics.

Additional Subtypes Not Officially Recognized in the DSM

There exist a variety of subtypes that, although not formally acknowledged within the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), have been identified and discussed by mental health professionals and researchers. These subtypes are not officially classified within the DSM due to varying reasons, including insufficient empirical evidence or the need for further study. This exploration into unlisted subtypes underscores the complexity of diagnosing and treating mental health issues, highlighting the ongoing need for research and more inclusive diagnostic tools that can adapt to the nuanced nature of psychological well-being.

Relationship OCD involves individuals experiencing obsessive and compulsive thoughts concerning their romantic relationships. This form of OCD is characterized by severe fears and doubts about the solidity of their relationship, including worries over whether their partner truly loves them, an excessive concern for their partner's happiness, or persistent questioning of whether their partner might find someone more suited to them.

"Just Right" OCD is identified by the persistent feeling that certain things are not positioned or done 'just right.' Individuals with this subtype may engage in compulsive behaviors, such as counting, straightening, touching, tapping, or lining items up in a specific order to alleviate these feelings.

False Memory OCD entails individuals frequently battling doubting thoughts. For example, they might be plagued by worries over actions they may have inadvertently taken in the past, such as fretting over whether they accidentally stole something or forgot to pay for an item at a store.

Magical Thinking OCD manifests as a belief in the cause-and-effect relationship between certain behaviors and completely unrelated outcomes. An individual might, for instance, believe that something terrible will befall a loved one if they do not perform a specific action, like checking their phone at 8:15 PM every night, even though there is no logical connection between the two events.

These various forms of OCD highlight the complexity of obsessive-compulsive disorders, showcasing that its manifestations can extend far beyond the more commonly recognized symptoms and behaviors.

Disclaimer:

This content is based on DSM-5 research and insights. Although I am a certified/licensed Registered Behavior Technician (RBT) and can offer insights into mental disorders, remember this information is educational only and not a substitute for professional advice.  If you or someone you know shows symptoms of a mental illness, consult a qualified healthcare professional for an accurate assessment and tailored treatment. Always prioritize your mental health and seek support from professionals. Remember, help is available, and you're not alone.

[deaddictioncenters]

A Brief Overview Of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and How To Treat It?

Repetitive actions (compulsions) are a hallmark of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is characterized by intrusive, unwelcome ideas & anxieties (obsessions). If you face such symptoms, immediately visit Nasha Mukti Kendra in Ghaziabad. Compulsions and obsessions like these are highly disruptive to daily life and can lead to intense emotional suffering.

Your distress and worry will only escalate if you try to overlook or stop such obsessions. In the end, you feel compelled to engage in obsessive behaviors in an effort to alleviate your anxiety. Negative ideas or impulses persist despite your best efforts to block them out of your mind. Because of this, OCD sufferers are more likely to engage in ritualistic actions.

Although those with OCD often feel bad about themselves, there is help available.

Symptoms

Both compulsive behaviors are common features of OCD. However, it is possible to experience merely the obsession or compulsion symptoms. You may or may not be aware of how much time and energy your needs and desires consume and how they hinder your ability to participate in everyday activities like going to school or working.

Signs of an obsession

Obsessions in obsessive-compulsive disorder are intrusive, uncontrollable thoughts, desires, or pictures that give the sufferer extreme distress. You may engage in a compulsive action or ritual in an effort to block out unwanted thoughts or feelings. These preoccupations frequently interrupt your thoughts and actions when you intend to focus on anything else.

Typical obsessional themes include:

Contamination phobia; aversion to dirt

Having difficulties accepting ambiguity and experiencing doubt

requiring symmetry & order

violent and/or dreadful ideas of self- or other-inflicted injury

Intrusive, often aggressive, ideas about touchy matters like religion or sexuality

The following are some symptoms commonly associated with obsession:

Hypochondriacal reactions to handling items that other people have handled

Questions about whether or not you've taken necessary safety measures

Extreme anxiety if things aren't in their proper places or facing the right direction

Fears of accidentally plowing into a crowd of people in a car

Ideas of swearing or acting badly in public Uncomfortable mental imagery of a sexual nature

Avoiding activities, like shaking hands, may bring on obsessive thoughts and behaviors

Indicators of compulsion

Compulsions are compulsive actions that people with OCD feel compelled to engage in. If you're anxious about your obsessions, these mental or behavioral rituals can help ease your mind. Yet, giving in to the compulsions never feels good and, at most, provides a fleeting reprieve from anxiety.

Having obsessive thoughts can lead to worry. Therefore, you may devise rules or rituals to follow. These obsessions go far beyond what is necessary to solve the underlying issue.

Similar to obsessions, compulsions often revolve around recurring ideas:

Purifying by washing

Checking Counting Orderliness

Adhering to a regimented schedule

looking for reassurance

Some indications of compulsion include:

Scrubbing your hands until they bleed

Repeatedly double-checking locked doors

Making many checks to see if the stove is still on

Following expected counting patterns

Prayer or silent repetition of a word or phrase

Aligning all of your canned foods in the same direction

Conclusion

Thematic preoccupations are common in OCD; contamination anxiety is just one example. For excessive effects of OCDs, you should simply visit Nasha Mukti Kendra. Yet, if you suffer from a phobia of germs, you could wash both of your hands excessively until they are raw and cracked. The words "obsessing" & "obsessed" are thrown around rather carelessly in common speech. However, OCD takes things to an even more severe level. It can be very time-consuming. It's disruptive to day-to-day living. People with OCD experience unwelcome obsessions, while they don't take pleasure in engaging in their compulsive rituals.

Read Our Blog: What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)? And Causes, Symptoms & Treatment

[anupa-mga2022mi6011]

Body dysmorphic disorder

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) is a mental health condition characterized by an obsessive preoccupation with perceived flaws or defects in one's appearance, which are often unnoticeable or minor to others. Individuals with BDD may spend a significant amount of time and energy focusing on these perceived flaws, which can lead to significant distress and impairment in daily functioning.

Some common features of BDD include:

Excessive concern or preoccupation with a specific body part or parts (e.g., nose, skin, hair).

Engaging in repetitive behaviors or mental acts such as checking mirrors, seeking reassurance, or grooming excessively.

Avoidance of social situations or activities due to concerns about appearance.

Comparing one's appearance to others and feeling inferior or inadequate.

Seeking frequent cosmetic procedures or surgeries to fix perceived flaws, often with little satisfaction even after the procedure.

Significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other areas of functioning.

Body Dysmorphic Disorder can significantly impact an individual's quality of life and may co-occur with other mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety disorders, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Treatment typically involves a combination of psychotherapy (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy) and medication (such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors or SSRIs) to address the obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors associated with BDD.

[nanowrimo]

3 Most Common Worldbuilding Mistakes for Writers and How to Fix Them

Every year, we’re lucky to have great sponsors for our nonprofit events. World Anvil, a 2021 NaNoWriMo sponsor, helps you develop and organize your characters, plot, and world setting. Today, World Anvil founder Janet Forbes is here to share some pro tips for worldbuilding. Don’t forget to check out the offer to NaNoWriMo writers for 30% off a World Anvil membership!

I talk to hundreds of writers every week, in our World Anvil Q&A live streams, our World Anvil writing challenges, and meetings with our professional authors. And mostly, they’re encountering the same few worldbuilding problems! Here are the 3 most common worldbuilding mistakes, and how you can fix them:

1. Mary-Sue Worldbuilding

You’re probably familiar with the Mary-Sue—a flawless, artificial-feeling main character. Mary Sue Worldbuilding follows in the same vein. If everything in your setting is directly related to your main character, it feels like the world revolves around them. It’s too convenient and artificial. That’s Mary-Sue worldbuilding.

Mary-Sue worldbuilding is usually caused by worldbuilding exclusively around your plot. Introducing larger-scale conflict in the backdrop of your setting, current affairs like civil or religious movements, war, disasters, or technological breakthroughs, can help expand the world beyond just your main character. 

Your main character might interact with these elements, or more usually, with problems caused by them. For example, they might help some refugees from “that war over there”. But your character should not be at the core of everything—they’re not the cause of the war. Other things are happening outside of your story, in the background. (Pro-tip: this is a great way to reinforce your genre and themes, and make your world feel alive and expansive, too!). 

Fixing Mary-Sue Worldbuilding Of course you’ll need a series bible like World Anvil to help you keep these current affairs organized, connect them together, and make sure you don’t lose your notes! Use World Anvil’s worldbuilding templates to get inspired for your big conflicts, and remember - you only need to write a few bullet points to start with! You can always expand more later (we’ll talk more about that in a moment).

World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Templates are custom-made by experts to help inspire and guide your creativity—and you can customize your own templates too!

2. Mosaic Worldbuilding

You know those computer game worlds where each area feels like a self-contained zone? Where the “desert” region and the “forest” region have no trade, communication, or overlap between them? That, in a nutshell, is Mosaic worldbuilding. It ruins suspension of disbelief, makes your novel setting feel false, and can pull your readers out of your story! 

Fixing Mosaic Worldbuilding

The best way to avoid Mosaic Worldbuilding is to make sure that you have a clear overview of your world early on, with each major region and concept penned out in just a sentence or two. That way, each region will feel like a connected aspect of your seamless setting, not a tile shoved on the side. 

On World Anvil, each world setting has a “Worldbuilding Meta” section to help you detail the 10,000 foot overview—the big stuff. And not just your physical world and its people, but your genre, your motivations, and your themes. This invaluable reference tool helps you expand your setting and add more detail, and will also help you sense-check what you’re adding!

Once you have a clear picture of your meta, and know the overview of your world, it’ll be easy to make use of cultural aspects like imports and travellers, cultural diasporas and geographical transition zones to make your world seem more connected and less artificially divided! And you’ll be able to do it without spending too much extra time worldbuilding. Which brings me to my final common worldbuilding mistake…

World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Meta tool helps you focus, streamline and sense-check your world setting! It’s full of guides to create an excellent overview for your worldbuilding project. This is the view mode of Manifold Sky by B.C.G. Wurth.

3. Worldbuilder’s Disease

Sounds nasty, right? Well, Worldbuilder’s Disease is a very common problem—a compulsion to continue worldbuilding things which aren’t actually useful. Here’s my favorite example—the “elven shoes”:

In your world you have elves. They wear shoes. So far, so good. Maybe there’s a plot-point where an imposter’s revealed because they’re wearing the wrong shoes. So you fill in a few details on your series bible. But if you find yourself writing a 5,000 word treatise on elven shoes through the ages… honey, you have worldbuilder’s disease.

I use shoes as an example, but it could be anything. It might be detailing three centuries of monarchy, or expanding unvisited areas in excruciating detail. Sure, it can be fun, but all that time spent on unnecessary parts of your setting isn’t helping you polish the core parts—or get your novel written! It’s distracting you from your primary goal. 

Curing Worldbuilder’s Disease

There are three major causes of worldbuilders disease: 

Lack of perspective

Lovers of prose

Fear of losing your ideas

1. Lack of perspective

Lack of perspective can often lead down a worldbuilding rabbit hole. Keep clarity on what’s important in your setting with tools like World Anvil’s Worldbuilding Meta. This helps you define your active worldbuilding area - not just geographical but thematic areas—which helps  streamline your world and your project, so you can be sure you’re spending your time where it counts!

Also, be clear with yourself WHY you’re worldbuilding the element you’re working on. Keep clear notes in your series bible about how this new element fits into your novel. If it’s little more than set dressing, you only need a few words. For a core concept, you might need more.

2. Lovers of Prose

As writers, we love to write (duh)! But for most of us, writing in prose in our series bible can cause serious problems. Not only does it mean that you write MORE than we should (your get in flow, words happen!), it’s also harder to reference your ideas quickly later on. Stick to short, organized articles in note form. Make sure the salient information is there, and link in anything relevant. You can always expand to prose later if you need to.

Keep your series bible in brief notes with clear headers! This character article took 5 minutes using World Anvil’s character template which automatically adds the headers. The linked articles help me easily reference related people and places as I’m writing.

3. Fear of losing our ideas

Fear of losing our ideas is actually one of the most common reasons for worldbuilder’s disease—that we’ll forget or lose our notes if we don’t write them out in vast detail. To combat this, make sure you have somewhere to keep your world details safe, organized, tagged and searchable. Then you can reassure yourself that you can go back and develop more later if you need it. 

Obviously, World Anvil is custom made for this, backing up everything in one place and linking everything together, so you can easily search, reference and update your series bible whilst writing your manuscript and not have to worry about losing things!

Anything here ring true for you? Or maybe you’re struggling with another worldbuilding mistake or problem? You can always hop into our live streamed Q&A sessions on our Twitch channel and ask us directly! We go live three times a week to answer questions about writing and worldbuilding, as well as helping our community with World Anvil queries too! Maybe we’ll see you there. And happy worldbuilding :)

Janet Forbes is a published fantasy author and RPG writer, whose recent credits include the Dark Crystal RPG with the Henson Company (coming 2021). In 2017, she and her husband created World Anvil, the ultimate worldbuilding and novel writing platform. World Anvil helps you organize, store and develop your worldbuilding and series bible privately, and market your books to the world too! The inbuilt novel writing software, accessible from anywhere, integrates seamlessly with your worldbuilding. And when it’s time to publish, you can export, or publish directly on the World Anvil platform and monetize YOUR way! Check it out at World Anvil.

[bratano]

A View to a Kill - Cillian Murphy x Fem!Reader

Author’s note: Hey hey people! First off I wanna say I’m always quite nervous writing for real people as opposed to characters as I don’t want to disrespect anybody (or make it too unrealistic) so I did my best to make Cillian as accurate to who he is as possible (not that any of us truly know him but y’know- fantasy). Also I have never seen a Bond movie in my life shameful for a Film student I know so I hope my lack of knowledge didn’t prevent this from being accurate. Also Christopher Nolan is directing the next James Bond in this universe because plot lol. this is not very good I'm so sorry I tried

Word Count: 1452

CW: Drinking, cringy dialogue lol

Going to a premiere with your new coworker, Cillian, ends up with some drunken feelings exchanged between you two.

You were extremely nervous as the limo approached the theater, looking in your phone camera to check your hair. Your big break had finally come in the form of being a Bond girl in Christopher Nolan’s adaptation of 007, which is definitely no small feat. Nor did it feel like it, considering you were working 12 hour days in heels and doing all your own stunts for 3 months. Not to sound ungrateful, but it was just so much more work than you could’ve anticipated. But what really made it all worth it was Mr. Bond himself.

You were really nervous at first to work with Cillian. He was a world renowned actor, one of Nolan’s recurring actors, and not to mention, very handsome. You never wanted to admit it to yourself, but you had quite the crush on him. For a man much older than you, he still held a boyish charm and wit to him that seemed so distant from a lot of the suitors your age. But it was nothing but an innocent crush, and he really was a close friend to you after all.

Cillian was beside you, mingling with the rest of the cast while you sat there silently, stewing in the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. Cillian gave you a sympathetic smile.

“Nervous?” He asked, eyeing the shaking of your foot and the compulsive tucking of your hair.

You sighed. “I’ve never done anything like this before, I just don’t really know what to expect.”

Cillian chuckled. Not of rudeness, but at his own ridiculous question. Duh. Of course she’s nervous. “Understandable. Well, you have the first step down. You look gorgeous.” You felt your ears burn at his compliment and smiled. “Just follow my lead, and act confident. All you have to do is pose for some photos and do interviews, you can do this.” He gently put his hand over yours and squeezed it in reassurance. You took a deep breath as he grinned at you. With him by your side, you knew you could do anything you set your mind to.

After what seemed like hours of going between getting your photo taken and interviews, you felt like you could really get the hang of this whole fame thing. It was amazing to see fans screaming your name, paparazzi taking your photo… Not to sound egotistical, but it truly felt like that’s what you were supposed to be doing with your life. It definitely helped having Cillian there to look to when you were nervous and to take some photos with. Eventually though it came time to watch the movie, and you transitioned from the bright camera flashes to the dark intimacy of the theater.

You had to admit it was a surreal experience seeing yourself on screen. Part of you was definitely embarrassed, but you felt a great sense of pride seeing yourself in such a badass light. And your chemistry with Cillian was impressive. During scenes with the two of you in it, you could feel Cillian sat beside you, looking at you for your reaction. He envied you in a way. Nothing could compare to the first time seeing yourself up on the big screen. But at the same time he couldn’t believe how amazing you looked and how powerful of a performance you gave. Out of all the women he’d worked alongside, you held a certain spark that he knew would send you far.

After the movie, you and the rest of the cast attended an afterparty together at a bar close by. You couldn’t tell if it was the pressure of the night finally being lifted from your shoulders or the fact that you wanted to outshine Cillian’s Irish tolerance, but you were trying to get as drunk as possible. You lost count of how many shots of tequila you downed, Cillian watching you in shock as he took several shots himself. By the time your castmates were ready to continue your bar hopping, you could hardly stand. Cillian opted into being your very unstable column to keep you upright, although he was stumbling himself. You both made it out of the bar with the rest of your coworkers, laughing and hollering drunkenly. Paparazzi was swarming the outside, taking pictures of all of you in your very inebriated states.

A reporter ran out from behind all the people and cornered you and Cillian. In normal circumstances, you both would’ve just kept walking, but neither of you were really feeling like yourselves from the alcohol now running through your veins. She shoved the microphone in between the three of you, whipping out a notepad of what you assumed to be questions.

“Congratulations on the movie you two, how was the premiere?”

Cillian, being a rather outgoing drunk, immediately answered. “It was fantastic, it was amazing to see so much hard work finally come to fruition on screen like that. And it was especially amazing to see Y/N film debut, she’s incredibly talented.”

You slapped his arm playfully. “Excuse me Mr. Bond? Don’t be so modest, Jesus.” You all laughed. “The premiere was a dream come true, but it would’ve been nothing without Cill. His performance was Oscar-worthy, and he was just a thrill to work with.”

Cillian laughed again, his already red cheeks deepening. He always loved it when you called him that nickname. “She’s just saying that because she has to.”

The reporter chuckled a bit. “It seems as though you guys have a lot of chemistry on and off set, do you think you will work together again?”

You and Cillian both went to talk, interrupting each other and earning a choir of giggles from the two of you. “Obviously we don’t have too much chemistry with the way that just went.” You joked.

“Don’t say that, don’t say that.” Cillian said, laughing. “It would be an honor to work with Y/N again. I think she’s one of the most brilliant up and coming actors of our time. Honestly I was really sad when we wrapped up shooting, because it meant I wouldn’t get to see her everyday like I was used to.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder, squeezing you to his side.

Normally you would be extremely flustered being that close to him, but your swirling brain kept you from registering the intimacy of his touch. Instead, your head laid on his chest and you leaned into him for more support. ”Yeah, that last day of shooting was really difficult. I remember- and I know he’ll never admit this- but when we finished that last scene we did a group hug and Cillian cried because he said he’d miss me. We just became so close it was hard not to be emotional.”

“Aww! Is that true, Cillian?” The reporter asked, turning the microphone over to him.

“All lies. Everything this woman tells is a lie.” He joked, a smirk crossing his lips.

“Not true!” You squealed, hitting him again in the arm.

“And she’s violent too. Twice she’s hit me just while you’re standing here. So unprofessional.” Him and the reporter laughed, but even in your drunken state you felt pretty embarrassed. He could tell by the look on your face he took it too far, and tried to think of a way to ease the blow.

“We actually have to go now, thank you for the interview.” Cillian abruptly said, pulling you away from her and the crowds of photographers. You piled back into the limo amongst your now angry castmates who had been waiting on you.

“You’re not mad, are you…?” Cillian asked softly, his cocky attitude now dwindling from his sobering and finally being out of the spotlight for the night.

“Of course I’m not mad at you Cill, I’m not as sensitive as you. Crybaby.” You smirked at him.

“Yeah, right. That’s why you were pouting like a child after I called you a liar.”

“I was not pouting!”

His bottom lip curled and his brows furrowed. “I was not pouting!” He mocked.

You scoffed, crossing your arms and turning away from him. Then you felt his lips gently graze your cheek and turned to face him again.

“I meant everything I said, y’know. About you being amazing.” He smiled.

You looked down, a bit embarrassed. “I know. And I meant it when I said I expect you to be on the Oscar ballots this year.”

“We’ll see.” He winked at you. You both settled into the limo, trying to gather your thoughts and sober up a bit.

You smiled to yourself, marveling in how amazing your life had become. Finally the limo took off and you were on your way to another bar, and hopefully more drinks.

[chronically-obsessive-compulsive]

What is OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)?

so you're either recently diagnosed or someone you know just told you they have OCD. or maybe you think you may have OCD and are looking for resources. either way, I hope this post can help you

What is OCD?

the IOCDF defines OCD as "a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions" (IOCDF, What is OCD?)

What Are Obsessions?

"Obsessions are thoughts, images, or impulses that occur over and over again and feel outside of the person's control" (IOCDF, What is OCD?). These thoughts and images are usually the things that we fear the most, which is the cause for the anxiety before we do compulsions. Obsessions are time consuming and take up a lot of time, often getting in the way of the things that we love to do

What Are Some Common Obsessions?

harmful intrusive thoughts

contamination

perfectionism

sexual intrusive thoughts

relationship related intrusive thoughts

fear of forgetting things or making mistakes

plus many more that I haven't listed

What are Compulsions?

"Compulsions are...repetitive behaviors or thoughts that a person uses with the intention of neutralizing, counteracting, or making their obsessions go away" (IOCDF, What is OCD?). Compulsions are like our very unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with our obsessions. However, the relief is only temporary, and the obsessions just come back, leading to the cycle of OCD. Just like obsessions, compulsions are very time consuming and often get in the way of our personal lives. This is how OCD can become debilitating.

What Are Some Common Compulsions?

checking

washing (washing hands, showering, grooming, etc)

cleaning

repetition

counting (arithmomania)

skin picking (dermatillomania)

avoidance

seeking reassurance

plus many more that I haven't listed

The Vicious Cycle of OCD:

so now you know what obsessions and compulsions are, but how do they work together to make OCD? (TW FOR THOSE WITH CONTAMINATION OCD, I WILL NOT BE HOLDING BACK WHEN I DISCUSS THIS) The cycle begins with an obsession. Picture this: I'm sitting at home relaxing and watching tv in bed after a long day. I get up to grab a snack or go to the bathroom or something and I see a small spot on my wall. I get closer to investigate and see a small bug. I have no idea what it is, but that bug is in my room. My mind starts to race. How did that bug get in here? How long has the bug been in here? When there's one, there are always more. Did it lay eggs in my room? Are there bugs in my carpet? Are there bugs in my bed? Are there bugs crawling on me in my sleep? I put those thoughts aside for a moment so I can get a shoe or something to squish the bug. Reluctantly, I move in and the bug is no more. But the thoughts come back. What if you set your shoe back on the floor and the bug remains get onto your carpet then when you're walking barefoot with a cut on the bottom of your foot and it gets inside? What if that's already happened? You're disgusting. Bugs have been all over you. They're all over your room and they're on you all the time. You need to shower. At this point, my anxiety has already taken control. I try to tell myself that every other time that this has happened and I've had these same thoughts, that I was fine. There were no bugs all over me. There were no infections. I was okay. That's because you took a shower. If you don't take a shower this time, that's what will happen. Do you want to risk that? No.

So I get in the shower and clean my body like usual. But that isn't enough. Scrub harder. You need to scrub harder. You didn't get all of it off. Harder. You missed a spot. If you miss just a tiny bit your body is contaminated. That hand that you grabbed the shoe with to take care of the bug is contaminated too and you're using it to clean your body. Start over. And by the time that my intrusive thoughts can't come up with something else to throw at me, my skin is irritated and painful to the touch. But I know that I'm safe now. And by the time that I get back into bed, sore and with a migraine from the panic attack I just had while I was in the shower, I realize something. You don't remember locking your door when you got home. Check it now- someone could break into your house. Or has someone already broken in while you were in the shower and couldn't hear the door open...?

This disorder has drained me emotionally for over half of my lifetime. It's not something to romanticize. People die over this debilitating, exhausting, disorder. I wouldn't wish OCD upon my worst enemy.

Fuck your "you're lucky to have it because it makes you clean and organized" bullshit responses. Fuck your "obsessive christmas disorder" t-shirt. Fuck your "I'm so OCD" bullshit.

Stop trivializing the disorder that has taken parts of my life away from me

sources: “What Is OCD?” International OCD Foundation, 7 Oct. 2020, iocdf.org/about-ocd/.

[spencers-renaissance]

I found my way home

Summary: After Spencer tells Hotch about his recent autism diagnosis, he expects that to be the end of it. Somehow, though, it keeps coming up, and Hotch keeps proving himself to be the best father figure he could have asked for. 

Tags: autistic spencer, protective hotch, hurt/comfort, fluff, paternal hotch, team as family

TW: mentions of ableism, one small instance of ableism & homophobia 

Pairing: Gen 

Word Count: 4.1k

Masterlist // Read on AO3

This was borne from my conversations with @criminalmindsvibez about the lack of autistic spencer fics and her amazing headcanons. While I'm not autistic, Emily is, and helped me to portray Spencer's autism as accurately as possible. That said, please feel free to correct me on anything I got wrong :)

Spencer had made an effort to get into work even earlier than usual today. He’d ridden the metro through the city, dipping his hand into his messenger bag every few minutes to compulsively check that the slim letter he’d received in the post the other day is still in the front pocket where he’d safely placed it that morning. He brushes his fingers over the paper once more as he enters the near-empty bullpen, the letter cool from the winter air.

It’s still so surreal to him that this is where he works. After years of dreaming of working for the FBI he’s finally here, and even though it’s been his place of work for almost two months now, he’s still not used to it. The warm offices are a nice reprieve from the wintry December wind, and he can feel himself relaxing as he heads to his desk. Leaving his coat and messenger bag on his chair, he pulls the letter out of the front pocket and runs his index finger along the edge. He finds himself biting his bottom lip as he tries to work up the courage to go and see Hotch. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he marches determinedly up to Hotch’s office, entering as soon as his knocks are answered. 

“Reid,” Hotch says pleasantly as he takes a seat opposite his desk, realising belatedly that he probably should have waited until he was invited. “You’re in early. What can I do for you?”

Nervously, Spencer hands him the letter he’d couriered across the city so carefully. He’d taken care to open it neatly with his letter opener but the return address on the back has been stamped at a crooked angle, and it bothers him every time he notices it. He can’t stop looking at it now as he taps his fingers anxiously against his leg in the pattern of the Fibonacci sequence, a safe and familiar reassurance played out by his nervous fingers. He watches apprehensively as Hotch pulls the letter out of the envelope, unfolding it and skimming his eyes down the page, taking in the news Spencer’s been so anxious to share with him.

Diagnosis: Asperger’s Syndrome

God, it had been a long process. He’d had to seek out a doctor in DC who diagnosed adults, paid for all the consultations and diagnostics himself — his insurance certainly wouldn’t cover it, not that he’d feel comfortable using his cushy FBI insurance for something so personal anyway — and the whole process had taken far longer than he’d expected. Finally, though, the envelope had arrived in the mail, and he officially had a diagnosis. 

Of course, he’d had his suspicions for years, especially after one of his professors during his second PhD had casually asked whether he’d ever been tested, planting a seed in his brain that led to many late nights in the library, reading all the literature available to him. It’s why he’d found it strange that it had felt so validating to finally receive that letter in the post. But it had.

The label made sense, and now that he had a diagnosis from a medical professional he felt comfortable to share it with others; he’d been far too paranoid about being questioned, not being believed or lectured about the evils of self-diagnosis no matter how he was confident in himself. He didn’t tend to be an insecure or self-conscious person, but after years of bullying and trauma surrounding what he now knew for sure to be his autistic traits, he couldn’t help but feel almost protective of his affirming label. 

Now though, it’s an irrefutable statement. Dr Spencer Reid has autism, and the first person he wants to tell is Hotch.

“I had no idea you were getting tested, Reid,” Hotch says, a hint of surprise bleeding into his voice. “Is there any specific reason you wanted to share this with me?”

“Well… I felt like someone on the team should know,” Spencer starts carefully, afraid to give too much of himself away, “and I thought that someone in a leadership position was the best option. Gideon has never been very… supportive of my autistic traits or behaviour, so I thought that you— that you would be the best option.” He feels awkward, fidgeting in his chair as he watches Hotch’s serious face and kind eyes absorb the information. 

“That trust in me means a lot, Reid,” he says, a rare smile making its way onto his face. In that moment, Spencer knows he made the right decision. “How can I make things easier for you? Is there anything you need me to be doing differently?”

“Uh—” He hadn’t really been anticipating that question and it catches him off guard: he’d predicted a quick nod of acknowledgement, a request to photocopy the letter so it can be put on file followed by a swift dismissal, but the letter is now sitting on his side of the desk: clearly, Hotch intends on keeping this between them. This is far from what he expected.

“Why don’t you start by telling me about autism and how it might affect your work?” Hotch corrects himself, recognising quickly Spencer’s need for specifics. “I’ll admit I don’t know much beyond some probably rather unhelpful stereotypes.��

Spencer nods. He can answer that question. “As everyone knows I often go off on tangents,” he begins, “and that’s because my special interests — or hyperfixations — often coincide with our work, so I know a lot about the topics we’re investigating. If I do that, just redirect me to the case and I’ll be fine. It’s also really hard for me to have to present myself in a certain way all the time. Vocal stims and gestures are the most satisfying to me but I often have to mask them, which I’ve never been very good at anyway, and it’s fairly exhausting. That’s why I often excuse myself; I go to the bathroom or a secluded hallway and stim on my own. My doctor also told me I tend to overcompensate in social situations and over-perform emotion. Those are the basics, I guess, but it’s a very complex disorder and since it makes up me as a human being, I can’t exactly explain all of it in one conversation.”

“No, that’s fine, Reid, you’ve given me a good picture of what to expect, thank you.” Hotch smiles at him, fondness in the crinkles around his eyes and the softness invading his usually stern expression. “First of all, you never have to feel like you need to excuse yourself to stim. Do you think it would be helpful if we told the rest of the team so they know what to expect? I’m assuming vocal stims are saying certain words or making sounds…?”

Spencer nods. 

“Okay, so if you needed to do that we could just continue the conversation while you get it out of your system. Gestures certainly wouldn’t be a problem. How do you feel about that?”

He hadn’t really considered telling the rest of the team but it seemed sort of intimidating, like he’d be opening a vulnerable side of himself to people he didn’t even know that well. On the other hand, they’d all been so understanding of his quirks and odd behaviour so far without even knowing the reason behind it. He’d never once been made to feel the way he used to at school, forced to either pretend to be someone else completely or be isolated and ostracised. 

He settles for, “I’ll think about it.” 

“That’s fine. There’s no pressure,” Hotch assures him. “I’m very happy you told me, Reid. I hope you know you can come and talk to me about anything, whether it’s about this or something completely different.”

Spencer leaves his office with the letter back in his hands, no notes or copies having been made, feeling almost elated. Never in a million years would he have expected that to go so well. 

⭐️

He doesn’t really expect it to come up again. He’d told Hotch so that he could understand him a bit better, and also because Hotch had quickly assumed a protective, almost paternal role in his life and he wanted to share the piece of news with him whether he was leading his department or not. That was supposed to be it, though, he didn't think anything would materially change, especially since he decided not to tell the team about the diagnosis just yet.

But almost immediately after he’d told Hotch his diagnosis, his rambles began to be gently redirected back to the case, sometimes without him even noticing. He wasn’t rudely cut off by anyone anymore, Hotch always steering him back on course before anyone else can jump in and hurt Spencer’s feelings. It’s so… kind that it almost feels foreign, and he finds himself gravitating towards the older man more and more, sitting next to him on every jet journey and staying glued to his side during cases. 

His newfound protectiveness over Spencer is only demonstrated more clearly a few months after their conversation in Hotch’s office when they’re on their way to New Mexico for a case. The second he spots that the murder victims had all been found with different Fitzgerald quotes scrawled on sheets of paper found in their own personal notebooks, ripped out and left for investigating officers to find, he launches into an info-dump to rival info-dumps. 

He can’t help that literature is a special interest of his, made all the more intense by the fond childhood memories of reading to his mother in her bed. Fitzgerald had been her favourite author of the Modern Era, and he’d spent hours analysing significant passages in his novels as a child, so he starts explaining the literary merit of each of the quotes left at the crime scenes. 

Apparently, he doesn’t hear the first two times Hotch tries to direct him back on topic, but he hears it when Gideon shouts, “Spencer! Long and unnecessary tangents are not conducive to actually solving these cases. Get back on topic. Now.” He’s loud enough to briefly knock him back several decades to memories of his father screaming at his mother’s schizophrenic babbling, when she’d become convinced that the villains of her favourite novels were trying to break into the house.

Spencer stops mid-sentence and stares at Gideon, who is staring right back. Everyone’s watching the two awkwardly, but the short moment of silence is quickly broken by Hotch. “There is absolutely no need to be that rude, Jason,” he says disapprovingly, while he lays a hand on Spencer’s arm in a light, absent-minded sort of touch. “Reid may have been off-topic but he deserves respect just like everyone else on this team. Nobody needs to be shouted at like that.” He directs his attention back to Spencer. “Why don’t you tell us how those Fitzgerald quotes could help us solve the case, Reid?” 

He gives him an encouraging look, and when he looks around the jet, everyone else is, too. Carefully, he starts speaking again, a little afraid of being cut off again, but after a few sentences of relevant explanation he regains his momentum. It’s more than a little vindicating when it’s his ‘unnecessary tangent’ that ends up being the key to cracking the case. 

⭐️

Soon after Hotch’s split from Haley, he approaches Spencer one evening when they’re the only two left at the office with a dinner invitation. Within the hour, they walk into a nice, low-key Italian place in the city and take a seat in the far corner of the restaurant. 

“Is everything okay?” Spencer asks a little uncertainly, confused as to why his boss is suddenly taking him for dinner. 

“I had this idea almost as soon as you told me about your autism,” Hotch explains, knowing by now that preambles and niceties only frustrate Spencer instead of setting him at ease. “I wanted to take you out for dinner every week to try and give you a space to ramble about all your special interests and not feel like you have to mask around everyone. But when I was with Haley, all my personal time was obviously spent with her and Jack. Now, I have the time to dedicate to you and all the incredible knowledge you’re hoarding in that brain of yours.”

“Really?” Spencer asks excitedly. The idea of uninhibited space to talk about the recent knowledge he’s acquired and not have to feel insecure or worry about performing social skills he doesn’t see the point of is everything he’s ever wished for, and something so wonderful being provided by Hotch only makes it better. 

“Really.”

Spencer wastes no time. He dives right in. “I was just watching a documentary the other day about volcanoes and their ability to trigger lightning storms with their voltage,” he begins. “Basically, magma rises toward the volcano’s surface, its water rapidly turns to vapor, which shatters the molten rock into tiny particles and creates charged particles. When the ash plume erupts into the atmosphere, the densely packed particles collide, driven by momentum. Friction then affects their electrons, becoming electrically charged. Positively and negatively charged electrons separate in the ash plume which creates a charge imbalance that builds an electric charge strong enough to trigger a lightning storm.” 

“That’s incredible.”

“I know,” Spencer says excitedly. “If the ash plume rises high enough in the atmosphere ice forms, and when ice, hail, and supercooled liquid droplets collide, the rates of lightning explode, it’s crazy.”

They’re briefly interrupted by a waitress taking their orders, but as soon as she leaves, Hotch gets him to jump back in. “What about that lecture you attended last week… the literature of 18th Century England or something?”

“19th Century English Lit, yeah!” He’s so eager to finally share this with somebody who will genuinely listen to him, and he can’t help it when his arms start to flap excitedly. Remembering where he is, he doesn’t try to mask it, pin his arms to his sides and simply deal with and suppress the innate urge to stim, he lets his body do what it wants to. Instead of eliciting a strange, sideways look, Hotch just smiles fondly.  

“The lecturer had this fascinating theory on Dickens. I’ve always seen him as a pretty straight forward author of picaresque fiction, obviously combined with facets of melodrama. And it’s common knowledge that he was inspired by the novel of sensibility, of course. But I’d never thought about the stylistic and lexical choices in his works beyond standard analysis, and this lecturer went on a deep dive into his use of collocation and it opened my eyes…”

He spends the whole evening stimming to his heart’s content while detailing every current interest of his to Hotch, who simply listened intently while eating his meal slowly, dragging out the meal for as long as Spencer needed. “Let me give you a lift home,” Hotch insists after footing the bill, leading him out into the warm evening air.

“Oh, I don’t mind taking the metro,” he replies truthfully. 

“I know. But it would make me feel better to drop you home safely. It’s late and seeing you into your apartment building would give me peace of mind.”

“Sure,” Spencer agrees happily, he’s still buzzing from such a nice evening and the least he can do for Hotch is let him rest easy tonight, so he climbs into the passenger side of his car. A few minutes into the car ride home, he realises he should probably actually verbalise just how much he enjoyed dinner. “Thank you, Hotch. I don’t think anybody’s ever done something so nice for me before.”

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” Hotch replies, smiling even though he doesn’t take his eyes off the road. Spencer very much likes it when Hotch uses his first name, and he’d been doing it all evening. He doesn’t really understand why it feels so nice, just that it makes him feel… special, maybe.

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he repeats, before freezing as he realises what he’s said. He’s got so used to not masking all evening, he’s not in the right rhythm and mindset to suppress the urge to repeat Hotch’s words. He’s been so nice the whole evening, the last thing Spencer wants is for Hotch to think he’s mocking him. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hotch reassures him, tapping his arm lightly as he smiles encouragingly. 

“Don’t mention it, Spencer,” he says again, repeating it a few times in relief before the itch is satisfied. He really does have the best boss/friend in the whole world. There’s no doubt about that. 

⭐️

Rossi’s initial reaction to Spencer had admittedly been a bit rocky, and having Hotch undeniably on his side was the only thing that made those first few months bearable. He never let them go off on their own; never put Spencer in a position where he’d have to be alone with him. Gradually, though, Rossi adjusted to his quirks and he became almost as protective of Spencer as Hotch.

That doesn’t bode well for the local sheriff when they’re on a case in North Carolina. He’s been prickly since they arrived, being as stubborn and uncooperative as possible, slowing down their progress on actually solving the case, and Spencer’s noticed him being a little extra rude to him in particular. It doesn’t massively bother him — it’s not exactly like someone’s aversion to him is a novel concept — but he can feel some sort of tension coming from the others. It happens a lot more now that they know about his autism and are more aware of themselves and others.

He tries to ignore it the best he can; he puts his head down and focuses on the geographical profile, going wherever he’s sent. Besides, the sooner they solve this case the sooner they can get out of North Carolina and back to DC. On their third day on the case, he’s working quietly in their designated corner of the police department alongside Hotch and Rossi while the others are out investigating in various different places. It’s a nice environment, and even though both men are his superiors, he feels more relaxed in their company than in anybody else’s.

It’s a relatively pleasant morning — considering the whole trying to catch a brutal serial killer thing — until they need to ask the sheriff a question. He saunters over, a tense and angry expression on his face, and Spencer can’t help but feel a little off, the confusing tension in the air that Spencer can’t quite identify making him anxious in his inability to properly decipher it. “Gentlemen,” he says, already frustrated. Spencer suspects it’s a pride thing; not many police departments like being shown up enough to have the FBI called in.

Eager to know the answer to their question, Spencer’s the one to jump in and ask. “Sheriff, we were just wondering whether the town gets much traffic from the local university or—”

He’s cut off by the sneering, towering man. “I’m not taking any questions from your kind,” he says aggressively. 

“I’m sorry?” Spencer squeaks as Rossi and Hotch both prepare to say something in response.

The sheriff cuts them off before they can get their likely diplomatic and calming words out. “Homo retards aren’t welcome around here.”

“Hey!” Rossi shouts as he leaps out of the chair, grabbing him by the collar as he’s helped by the element of surprise. “You don’t fucking talk to Spencer like that, you hear me? Weak, cowardly men like you—”

“Dave,” Hotch says placatingly, putting a hand on his shoulder and diffusing the situation. “Listen, Sheriff, we are only here to help you. But if you can’t respect my agents then we’re going to have a problem. Either you’re civil to Dr Reid, or I’m reporting you to the NC Sheriff’s Association. You hear me?”

The sheriff’s pride is clearly wounded, but he at least nods before giving them all a scornful look and walking away. 

“We didn’t even get to ask the question,” Spencer says anxiously, suddenly feeling out of his depth, like he can’t quite get enough air. 

“Dave, try and get an answer,” Hotch directs, taking charge of the situation. “Spencer, come with me.” He takes him into a secluded hallway for a little privacy, sitting him down on the cool linoleum before sinking down next to him. “You’re okay.”

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” Spencer whispers over and over to himself as he rocks backwards and forwards, trying desperately to self-soothe.

“Do you want me to touch you?” Hotch asks. He’s been in enough of these situations with Spencer to know he’s usually in two very different headspaces: he either longingly craves the grounding touch of a hug or a hand on his back, or he needs complete space. He’s also learned that asking outright is the only way to get an direct answer. 

“Yes,” Spencer replies, before repeating it over and over again as he’s wrapped up in Hotch’s arms, head pressed against his chest, his hand pressing gently against the back of Spencer’s head. He starts to calm down as he manages to breathe to the heat of Hotch’s calm, steady heartbeat, the comforting touch of someone he trusts with his life also helping to bring him back down to earth. A good ten minutes after the altercation with the sheriff, he’s feeling much better and brings his head out of it’s safe cocoon between Hotch’s chest and hand. 

“Come on,” Hotch says kindly. “Let’s get back to the case, yeah? You can just sit and work quietly until you’re ready to hold a proper conversation again. How does that sound?”

Spencer nods tiredly, knowing that work will perk him back up again, and being surrounded by his team will make him feel safe, asshole sheriff or not.

⭐️

Over the years Hotch helps him through any hurdles that come his way, learning the exact nuances of Spencer’s characteristics and requirements, making sure to accommodate him in every way possible.

He brings an extra, super-soft sweater in his go-bag in case Spencer ever forgets his and needs something gentle on his skin but tight enough to make him feel secure. He buys him stimming toys, dropping them on Spencer’s desk before he even arrives at work and lets him use his office whenever the lights and noise of the bullpen get too much, drawing the blinds and giving him the space he needs. Rossi doesn’t even question it anymore when Hotch shows up with a stack of paperwork and moves into his office for the morning. 

It wasn’t until Hotch made a concerted effort to make his life easier that Spencer realised how hard it had been fighting through life on his own. So when he realises Hotch’s birthday is coming up, he decides he wants to show his gratitude. It’s never been easy for him to express emotions, especially since he’s never really found it rude when people don’t thank him, but he knows that for most neurotypical people, appreciation is important. 

So he talks it over with Derek and on Hotch’s birthday, he comes into work to see Spencer waiting in his office with balloons, a cake, a card, and a present. He’d spent hours trying to find the right words to explain how he feels, to find the right words to show Hotch just how much everything he’s done for him means, but eventually he’d settled on something simple:

Caroline B Cooney wrote: “I found my family. I found the right thing to do. I found my way home.” 

I found all of these things when I joined the BAU, but more specifically when I walked into your office, hands shaking, clasping a letter I’d been waiting for all my life. Thank you. 

Hotch reads it with tears in his eyes before taking in the cake, a classic birthday cake Spencer had bought at the store, the words “Happy Birthday Dad” written in blue icing. He didn’t really understand why the cake had stood out to him, or why he associated the word ‘dad’ with someone who wasn’t related to him at all, but he’d trusted his gut and with Derek’s cheerleading, he’d bought it. 

“Oh, Spencer,” Hotch says tearfully. “Can I hug you?”

Feeling only mildly uncomfortable at the visible display of emotion Spencer doesn’t know what to do with, he nods and steps into Hotch’s comforting embrace. “This means the world to me,” Hotch murmurs quietly as he stands, hugging Spencer for as long as the younger man can stand it. 

Spencer’s still not completely sure why he’s managed to make him so emotional, but at least he can trust that it’s a good thing, that Hotch is happy and pleased and reassured. And if he can make him feel even a smidgen as happy as Hotch has made Spencer over the years, well. He’ll consider his long and boring trip into the city to buy the cake, present and card worth it.

Quick Note: Spencer is diagnosed with Asperger’s because that part of the fic is set in 2005. These days he would be diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

taglist: @criminalmindsvibez @strippersenseii

[iliadicjasontodd]

The Beholding and more specifically Jon’s becoming & being an Avatar of the Eye is a metaphor for OCD

no it was probably not intentional but that’s not important what’s important is that I have OCD and this is important to me <3

So I already hc Jon as having OCD (w/ psychotic features/delusional beliefs/low insight and/or just psychosis) as well as ADHD. As in, he was born that way, came into the archives that way, it was just worsened significantly because of trauma, leading to season 2.

But! That’s not what this is about. This is about Jon’s powers as an avatar of the Eye being in and of themselves a metaphor for OCD so allow me to explain in a nice list that probably will make no sense and also it’ll be long so it goes under a read more

Intrusive Thoughts & Capital-K Knowing

So I was reading through season 4 and there are various instances of Jon Knowing things against his will. Often they are things that distress him a lot. A notable example being when he was in the Buried in MAG 132

How is this knowledge useful? It does nothing to help. A lot of the things Jon just happens to Know literally just scare him. Which, considering the nature of the Eye, makes sense.

He describes to Basira how Knowing works earlier, in MAG 127, and it sounds a lot like the experience of struggling with intrusive thoughts.

Trying to keep intrusive thoughts at bay often feels like this. Often I have to think around, or backtrack my thoughts to avoid them slipping through. Sometimes though, something I read or some scene in a movie or something in a conversation will trigger them and then all I can do is try to ignore them or blink them away. If I’m lucky they don’t stick. When I’m not lucky they cause a new permanent or at least long-lived fixture of my OCD. I can never tell which will do which. It’s just always there.

There is also this, also from season 4 though I don’t remember which episode and I don’t feel like hunting it down rn:

This is a perfect description of the confusing nature of intrusive thoughts. I spent basically my entire childhood and adolescence sure many things that were intrusive thoughts were just mine, which was miserable and terrifying and also delayed my diagnosis for far too long. I still have difficulty sometimes with parsing out that the more “mundane” intrusive thoughts are intrusive thoughts. It make it difficult sometimes, to know if a fear of mine is illogical or not.

And then of course there is season 5 wherein to my understanding Jon is literally forced to See/Know gruesome disgusting things that are happening to people. I won’t go too in-depth about season 5 because I haven’t read it yet (I just have combed through what happens) so I’ll maybe just edit/add an addition to this post when I have. We’re focusing on season 4 today :)

Statement Taking, Impact, & ‘getting better’

Jon, of course, has to feed on trauma to survive. This is obviously not how compulsions work but we’re not here for 1 to 1 metaphors we’re here for OCD!

Jk I do have a point. I am not necessarily talking about Jon’s physical dependence on statements. I think that’s much more a metaphor for addiction than it is anything else, however, I do want to talk about people’s reaction to it as well as Jon’s attitudes towards it, particularly in season 4.

So Jon takes live statements and that’s Bad. It genuinely is damaging, not just to the person he does it to but also to himself, by making him less human. But it’s easier for him.

So OCD compulsions vary. Usually they’re not anything that can bother other people, like checking your locks or washing your hands etc. However, sometimes they drag in other people. And that’s Bad. Sometimes it’s asking people for reassurance to the point of driving them to tears out of frustration, sometimes it’s telling people they can’t do certain things, etc. and that’s not healthy for yourself or for the people around you, but it’s easier than trying to work it out for yourself.

(By the way, for anyone here with OCD/paranoia/any mental illness honestly I’m using general you because ‘one’ is too clunky. These are all general hypotheticals not meant to reflect on anyone reading this. It’s just my experience and what I’ve read about in articles and been told by therapists)

Of course what Jon did is way worse than that but this is TMA so let’s operate under the assumption of Way Worse lmao but anyway

the fact that Jon can’t just stop taking statements altogether, he just has to switch to the paper ones, actually works well as a “minimising compulsions” mood. Often you can’t just stop a compulsion. At least not right away. The fear is too debilitating. So you find ways to work around it or things that are less damaging/time consuming to do to alleviate the anxiety. I’m sure most people have seen that post talking about how a woman with OCD kept being late to her job because she had to go back a lot to check if her hair straightener was still plugged in because she was afraid her house would burn down. Her therapist told her to just take the straightener with her in her purse. Sure, not a permanent solution probably, but it would let her go to work while she worked on it.

Also, unpopular opinion from someone who has been to many therapists and has severe ocd that hasn’t really responded to treatment and might not ever: sometimes, doing small ‘weird’ things to keep from having a panic attack is fine even if you do it forever as long as it doesn’t cause damage or distress to you or anyone else. Taking a picture of your lock before leaving the house so you don’t have to go back when you think you didn’t do it literally will have no impact on anything except phone storage. Sometimes we have to learn to live with the brain chemistry we’re given when fighting it isn’t an option.

On this vein, characters have Opinions about Jon’s Avatardom

Basira, MAG 146

& Georgie (& Martin) MAG 150

(I love Martin)

I will say you aren’t obligated to be around anyone. Especially if they’re hurting you. Whether they’re mentally ill or not. I’m not advocating for that.

HOWEVER

Georgie & Basira both draw comparisons here that just don’t work. Melanie was never a full avatar of the Slaughter and at that point she’s not longer tied to the Slaughter at all. Jon did not consent to what he became (to die or to live isn’t a real choice. not in the ways that matter) and he doesn’t have a way to just stop like Melanie did. Daisy was cut off from the Hunt for eight months and also it’s hypocritical because before that she was committing murder left right and center like SURE okay Basira maybe she didn’t know she was feeding an entity of fear but I think she knew she was COMMITTING MURDER. how is that better than what Jon did? Like yes! what Jon did is wrong no question but why are we comparing him to Daisy?

In metaphor terms, it’s very common to compare two people who experience mental illness to one another and find the person who is not coping as well or recovering as easily lacking. Georgie literally condemns Jon for not trying to get better even though the way that Melanie got better is inaccessible to him. It’s also very common for people to decide you’re not worth trying to be around because you aren’t recovering as expected or your mental illness is too messy. I am not talking about situations in which a mentally ill person is genuinely harming someone who then chooses to cut that person out of their life. That’s obviously understandable. But at that point I don’t think that Jon had ever actually hurt Georgie. She just decided to stop supporting him. Correct me if I’m wrong of course! That’s just what I remember.

Basira is also comparing Jon to someone else’s different experience but that is just such a mess & I think I covered it pretty well in the last two paragraphs so let’s just move on lmao

The Eye & Folie de Doute

OCD, at its core, constitutes the fear of the unknown. So much of it is a very dreaded “What if...?”

The Eye is the antithesis of this as well as the representation of that sort of fear. Jon is canonically susceptible to getting drawn in by the Eye because he was always too curious. Always had to know things.

A lot of his season 2 paranoia could also be classed as that same need to know, which, under tremendous trauma and fear, broke him down completely when he couldn’t know the answer to something (Gertrude’s murder), which lead to his paranoia, on top of the fact that having OCD lends itself to paranoia (which in itself is in a way a fear of the unknown sometimes etc etc) (I do struggle with paranoia if I just described paranoia horribly forgive me it’s late as of when I’m writing this lmao)

Jon developing powers where he Knows things? And whenever he leans into that? It’s just very much something anyone with that fear of the unknown would be susceptible of being seduced by, and subconsciously Jon was.

I know this section is way shorter but honestly this one is just so much more of a thematic connection that I just find really interesting.

TL;DR: Knowing is Intrusive Thoughts, Season 4 is about mental illness, and the Eye’s connections to paranoia and the unknown connect it to ocd

Disclaimer: none of these are meant to be one to one metaphor. Ofc Knowing isn’t the exact same as intrusive thoughts b/c intrusive thoughts aren’t true, ofc Jon traumatising random strangers isn’t the same as compulsions, etc.

[ferret-not-microwave]

Les Amis Modern AU: What They Wish Others Believed About Them (Part 4)

[I kind of wrote this in response to some general trends in characterising the Amis. There are some stereotypes which I'm not quite comfortable with.]

[So much delay. Sorry.]

Joly:

• Really, really wishes that people don't laugh at him for his anxiety issues. He is truly terrified of getting infected with some disease or the other, and even more terrified of spreading it to Joly and Chetta. It doesn't help that he is one of the most sincere students of the lot, and spends a lot of time reading medical journals, which feed into his panic. He feels safe wearing masks, using rubbing alcohol (or wearing gloves), and having a bag full of basic first aid supplies, and gets embarrassed if anyone judges him for it. Also, he doesn't like it if "concerned" people ask him whether he had a past history of debilitating disease or something, he doesn't want to discuss it at all, okay? -_-

• When Joly fusses about illness in the Musain, it is him letting his guard down. He has to actively rein in his anxiety to function in the hospital, and gets super exhausted from hiding it. His tells in the hospital are are wide eyes behind his protective goggles and a compulsive toying with the wristband of his gloves. He's one of the most courageous individuals ever because of what he faces on a regular basis. He hopes that he might get some reassurance from the Amis to stop his spiralling thoughts, and he mostly gets it.

• Joly definitely has a wild side, and is more than his anxious, serious self. If there's one who can one-up Courf's cheesy pick-up lines, it is Joly. With a eyebrow quirk that leaves everyone giggly and blushing. If there's one who can set a Karaoke stage on fire (not literally, that would be R), it's Joly. If there's one who can down shots to match Bahorel, it's Joly. The one who is the most eager to go skinny dipping? Joly. The one who is, oddly, the most eager to break a pinata? Joly. Joly is more than a "quiet science nerd who checks his tongue in the mirror all the time".

• Joly and Ferre INSIST that they do not talk about random medical trivia all the time. Honestly, their shared interests involve Jane Austen and massive amounts of gossip with tea, along with Doctor Who, Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF TEA, IN EVERY SENSE OF THE WORD.

• There are days he wants to tackle people like an angry Pikachu. But real life is tough, and not everyone has the privilege of confronting people. But he really, really can do without people casting aspersions on his poly relationship with Bossuet and 'Chetta ALL THE TIME. He has been confronted as an "opportunist" in Pride walks, faced with people's pitying look to Bossuet or 'Chetta as though he is stringing them both along or "sharing" 'Chetta with Bossuet, cheered on and slapped on the back by straight cismen for "knowing how to have fun", and once directly asked if he's the one who will marry 'Chetta. He goes into panic often, and for the longest time thought himself a really awful person.

• Beware a Joly in a farmer's market. Not because of haggling, but because some people ALWAYS assume that he's amazing at math while he actually fumbles at the cash counter. Similarly, he hates it if people crack shady jokes about him being a Marie Kondo around him (just because he likes neatness AND MARIE KONDO THANK YOU VERY MUCH). And no, he doesn't like rice all the time.

• Please give back the Tupperwares. Unlike popular opinion, Joly won't chase you down for his Tupperware like some do, and isn't particularly possessive about them. That doesn't mean that he can replace misplaced Tupperwares for all eternity, please. ;_; (Same goes for the beeswax food wraps and dino bandages, c'mon peeps don't help yourself to them indiscriminately ;_;).

• Apart from his baggy sweatshirt and dinosaur pajamas aesthetic, he also has a dress shirt and pleated pants collection that would probably leave Jay Gatsby jealous AF.

Bossuet:

• Is really self-conscious about his receding hairline. He had taken to shaving his head to make it look cool, because he's really uncomfortable with weird jokes about his age and baldness. Shaving heads is pretty high-maintenance at times, and he's slowly opening up to let the hair grow back on the sides of the head for the heck of it. He used to have a large collection of hats too, which he still uses occasionally, but now it is just a fashion accessory, not a way to hide. He likes scarves as well.

• He used to flinch and swallow his discomfort when people would touch his scalp without permission, now he firmly brushes off their hands with a light scowl.

• Similarly, he hates it when people actively try to compare him to Joly. He hates being considered less successful, a "third wheel" to Joly and 'Chetta and someone who can be taken less seriously. This doesn't mean he is jealous or angry with Joly at all though.

• He feels really, really angry when Joly sometimes breaks down in front of him and 'Chetta when confronted with comments on their relationship. He can and will stonewall anyone who hurts either of them.

• Bossuet understands Joly's anxiety because he faces anxiety as well. He often gets nightmares of his "bad luck" turning batshit Final-Destination-esque and resulting in horrible accidents to Joly, 'Chetta amd the rest of the Amis. He knows the "bad luck" jokes are good humouring, but it wears him down a lot in exam/interview/work meeting weeks and leaves him third and fourth guessing himself. He had also entered a bout of depression because the "bad luck" jokes had convinced himself that he can't progress in life because what's the use. It took a lot of work and, oddly, a super niche article from the Amis blog detailing research on how some societies actively ostracize people for being "unlucky" and how it is linked to major societal oppression, to help him.

• Bossuet loves having a heart of gold. Sometimes some people tell him not to be so nice ("what if that person has cheated you off money with a sob story?"). He refuses, because he cherishes being nice and knows his limits. He sometimes worries if he's being stupid, like when the great "attendance-by-proxy" disaster happens. But Marius' broad and grateful smile, "hi, how are you doing?" texts every morning, and monthly batch of AMAZING chocolate cookies makes it worth it.

• Bossuet's accidents do lead to some happy accidents. He stumbled on a whole new recipe of gooey brownies by accident. An amazing combination of dark chocolate and red chilli peppers (maybe not so weird in retrospect)? By accident. He fell upon Courfe's sandcastle once, but it resulted in a rare hermit crab crawling out. Courfe gave a treat at the new brunch place he was saving up for, because apparently that hermit crab had made Ferre all starry-eyed and happier than he had been in weeks. And as for the rest pf the accidents? Nothing that duct tape , 'Chetta, Joly and occasionally Feuilly can't help with. In all, his accidents are always smallish, and never monumental.

• Bossuet can put 'Chetta and Ferre to shame with his eyebrow raising (at least occasionally? Hehe?). He does that a lot when people ask him if he has put water on fire or has fallen into wells. "Like bruh? I don't go anywhere close to wells, I love sidewalks and what's with everyone asking me about the kitchen being on fire?" He also does that a lot to piners (R, Ep, Courfe, 'Parnasse).

• Bossuet is one of Enj's closest friends in Law School (apart from Courfe), because Law classes and shared optional papers. Duh. They often have long discussions which are super pleasant, fluffy, yet sensible because of his really sensitive optimism. Bossuet's unorthodox insights make their way into Enj's notes for ABC meetings, and he credits him always. Similarly Enj bails him out with attendance issues. Bossuet often calmly advices him about R. Since Joly has a similar relationship with Ferre, Bossuet and Joly sometimes help Enj and Ferre sort out lingering grievances between them, or plain hear them out. Enj and Bossuet have Froyo days.

Musichetta:

• Loves, loves, LOVES books. Has no idea why people think nerds come in a kind of stereotype only ("I don't look like you", she complains to Joly and Ferre one day, "but I can defeat you two in a Jane Austen quiz WTF!" They agree emphatically, and Ferre adds "and maybe Jehan too. Maybe".). She is a massive sucker for Comic-Cons and hates men who try to prove otherwise. -_- She loves libraries as much as she loves bars.

• Has no idea why people think she's super bitchy or about to eat them up. Many people plain run when she so much as looks at them while doing a shift as a barista in the Musain. Or ask for "the nicer barista" (Cosette?). When she breathes a sigh of relief when someone treats her nice, she also braces herself for self-righteous "saviours". "Are you sure you are doing okay with those men?" "They are using you!". If she poured milk all over a client's trousers because of such a comment not-so-accidentally, no one needs to know. ;)

• Sometimes, she feels drained out. Having to support both her partners anxiety can leave her down too. They are amazing people, who love her a lot, and know that she needs her recharge time. Often Bossuet takes over in caring for Joly and vice-versa. 'Chetta has a small arrangement with Courfe on those days. If he has free time, the two of them go for an amazing, super relaxing spa session. Bahorel is back-up spa partner. The two of them know not to ask questions, but let her unwind her thoughts and air them out.

• 'Chetta joined Les Amis L'ABC much later. One of her pet peeves were when Joly or Bossuet would go to protests which could easily turn violent because of right wing trolls and the police swarming the city. Specifically, when they went without more than a word or two to her. She would get worried sick, particularly if they couldn't pick up the phone within half an hour of the protest ending, and would cry alone because she didn't want to come off as needy and one of those people who do not support their cause.

• She finally broke down before them after Bossuet had a small concussion. They were really shamefaced at having not thought about her feelings, and their apologies ran for hours. While Joly promised to regularly give her updates, Bossuet asked her to join the ABC if she is comfortable with it. It took time for her to accept that she was being in the group because of the cause and not because she wanted to helicopter-mom Joly and Bossuet, but when the next protest happened, she realised that she was in a place she always wanted to be in.

• The Amis thought that she was a member anyway. She would holler at

• 'Chetta hates it when people think that it's Joly or Bossuet who end up lavishing gifts on her all the time. True, they do, but she does it too. She's a sucker for thoughtful gift giving, and she spoils the Amis A LOT OF TIMES. She can scour the Earth for ideal gifts for her boys, and she often takes care of a stray bill or two, as much as she humanely can. She doesn't play a one-upping battle of gifts though, she just loves a lot.

• She is really self conscious about her small hands and tiny feet. Which seem to her too small in comparison with the rest of her body. Sometimes she used to wear really fluffy mittens in winter to hide how small her hands her. Not so much now. :)

•She confided to Jehan that she didn't like people romanticizing her small hands and feet because she thought they were putting unrealistic standards of the "frail beauty" on her when she was anything but. She said this after she heard R chortle about how Joly had introduced her as having tiny hands and feet. The discussion ended in her gaping and then crying out of laughter because (according to Jehan) apparently Joly was really drunk when he first talked to the Amis about her, and had also said something like "she has fortune-teller eyes, yannow! Ask Bossuet! And her dimples! Marius, you booby, you pool noodle, I know how you feel like when you met Cosette!"

Apparently Bahorel had replied with "you need new pants" and then started laughing like no tomorrow. Bossuet, not so drunk (because he was late to the party), had taken the sensible route and shown the Amis the picture the three of them took after their first date.

• Seriously, she knows zilch about tarot cards or natal charts.

[ocdanxiety018]

Understanding Harm OCD and Its Variants: Gay OCD and HOCD

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a complex and often misunderstood mental health condition that can manifest in various forms. One of its lesser-known but equally distressing variants is Harm OCD. This variant can also take on specific themes, such as Gay OCD (or SO-OCD) and Harm OCD Symptoms, which sometimes overlap with HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). In this article, we will explore what Harm OCD is, its symptoms, and how it intersects with these specific themes.

Harm OCD: A Brief Overview

Harm OCD is characterized by intrusive, distressing, and often irrational thoughts, images, or impulses that involve causing harm to oneself or others. These intrusive thoughts can lead to intense anxiety and distress, prompting individuals to engage in compulsive behaviors or mental rituals to alleviate their fears. The core feature of Harm OCD is the obsession with causing harm, which is often misaligned with an individual's true intentions or values.

Harm OCD Symptoms

1. Intrusive Thoughts: Individuals with Harm OCD experience recurring, distressing thoughts of causing harm, such as physically hurting someone or oneself. These thoughts are often ego-dystonic, meaning they are inconsistent with the person's true desires.

2. Anxiety and Distress: The intrusive thoughts in Harm OCD lead to extreme anxiety and emotional distress. The fear of acting on these thoughts can be overwhelming.

3. Compulsive Behaviors: To neutralize their anxiety, individuals with Harm OCD may engage in compulsive behaviors, such as checking and rechecking, seeking reassurance from others, or mental rituals like counting or reciting prayers.

4. Avoidance: Some people with Harm OCD may avoid situations or places that trigger their intrusive thoughts, making it difficult for them to carry out daily activities.

5. Time-Consuming: The rituals and avoidance behaviors associated with Harm OCD can be time-consuming and disruptive to everyday life.

Gay OCD (SO-OCD)

Gay OCD, also known as Sexual Orientation OCD (SO-OCD), is a subtype of Harm OCD where the individual obsesses about their sexual orientation. Contrary to the name, it can affect individuals of any sexual orientation. People with Gay OCD often experience intrusive thoughts questioning their sexual identity or orientation. These thoughts can be distressing, leading them to seek reassurance or avoid situations that trigger their doubts.

HOCD (Homosexual Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)

HOCD is a variant of Harm OCD where individuals who identify as heterosexual obsessively doubt their sexual orientation, fearing they might be homosexual. It's important to note that HOCD does not reflect one's true sexual orientation but is rather a manifestation of the intrusive nature of OCD. People with HOCD may engage in compulsions to prove their heterosexuality or avoid situations that trigger their doubts.

Treatment for Harm OCD and Its Variants

The good news is that OCD, including Harm OCD and its specific themes, is a treatable condition. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), particularly a form called Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), is often the first-line treatment. ERP involves confronting the feared thoughts without engaging in compulsions or avoidance behaviors, gradually reducing anxiety over time.

Medication, such as selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), may also be prescribed in combination with therapy to manage OCD symptoms.

Harm OCD, including its subtypes like Gay OCD and HOCD, can have a profound impact on individuals' lives, causing significant distress and impairment. It's crucial to recognize that these intrusive thoughts do not reflect an individual's true intentions or identity. Seeking professional help from a mental health specialist experienced in treating OCD is the first step toward managing these distressing symptoms. With the right treatment and support, individuals with Harm OCD and its variants can lead fulfilling lives free from the burden of obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors.

[ocdandanxietyonline]

All you need to know about Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder that features a pattern of unwanted thoughts and fears leading to repetitive behaviors. It includes both obsession and compulsion. It might be possible that some people have only obsession symptoms and some have compulsion symptoms. Many doesn’t recognizes this disorder and remain undetected for a long period of which is very harmful and may causes death.

Symptom and signs of obsession

·         Fear of contamination or dirt- Patient might feel fear of being contaminated by touching things others have touched

·         Doubting- Sufferer doubt that they’ve locked the door, turned off the stove, checking the switches to be turned off, checking the functionality of appliances, etc.

·         Orderliness- They feel stressed when things are not kept in an orderly manner or at their right position.

Symptoms and signs of compulsion

·         Cleanliness- Washing hands many times a day without any need, cleaning objects constantly.

·         Pattern- Counting things again and again in certain pattern and checking things repetitively for reassurance.

Common OCD subtypes

Pedophilia OCD or POCD is condition in which a sufferer has unwanted harmful or sexual thoughts about kids. They have no desire to harm or hurt child but can’t control their thoughts resulting depression and panic behavior. People with POCD try to avoid children at any cost.  

Relationship OCD or ROCD is condition in which sufferer have doubts or concerns about relationship. Constantly guessing how much your partner loves you, fear to lose partner, wondering if you are with right person are some common things happen in ROCD.

Harm OCD or HOCD is a condition in which sufferer thoughts constantly about the possibility of harming others. These thoughts take form of fear with passes of time. The fear that you’ve harmed someone in past or will harm someone close to you or don’t remember if you harmed someone you don’t know.

Contamination OCD is a condition in which person obsesses over spreading germs or coming in contact with dirty objects and try to relieve with compulsive behavior like excessive washing or cleaning.

Diagnosis and treatment of OCD on time is necessary to control severity. There are many physical and online centers are operating to help people with obsessive compulsive disorder. If you are looking for the same then make sure to find a certified and reputed therapist for treatment. You can also visit https://www.ocdandanxietyonline.com/