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sinsinsininning · 8 months

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A little bit softer

Chapter 4

Eustass Kid x crew mate!fem!Reader

This includes Kid’s POV of the end of Chapter 3 while the reader is in the shower. 😳

Also to clarify, Badger is a made up character, I didn’t feel like incorporating a cannon character into the reader’s backstory. I spent literally 2 seconds on the name and even less time on a vague description of him which I’ll post later.

TW: swearing, voyeurism, masturbating (both male and female)

~~~~~~~

After you left him on the deck, Kid ate slowly, thinking out the details of his next steps. He had no idea where this bastard, Badger, was or even what he’d look like.

Plus the West Blue was crawling with dangerous crews and the notorious 5 Families of the West, headed up by Capone Bege. Not someone Kid was on good terms with and, depending on how deep into the West they’d go, someone they’d likely run into.

While Kid would prefer to just make this a quick mission, so they could double back and enter the Grand Line, he was excited to think of all the practice the crew would get fighting all these other crews. It’d be good training before they entered the New World.

After finishing, he pulled out the maps and started charting again. Wire eventually returned to join him and the two worked quietly. Kid was making a list of things they could get while in the West Blue when Wire spoke up.

“So what’s this Captain’s name?”

“Why’re you asking?” Kid growled. “Just chart the stupid map.”

“I’m nearly done, I just need to know where to find him, then I can finalize the map. Right now I’ve just got it charted how to get there while avoiding marines bases and included supply stops. But I need a specific area to finish.”

“His name is Badger.” Kid said after a beat.

“Is that his first name or last name?” Wire asked.

“The fuck if I know. His name is Badger, he’s in the West Blue, and I’m gonna kill him. Make the map.” Kid blustered for a moment, he felt a little silly, all this effort and he didn’t even know who the guy was. Fuck he didn’t even know if you’d been honest…. Nah you were nearly crying, you wouldn’t lie like that. Wire sighed heavily and Kid nearly smashed the table.

“Ok, I can’t finish it tonight, but I’ll go through some logs and see if I can get more info on him.” Wire relented, knowing the captain was at his limit. “We should be able to make it to the next island tomorrow, I’ll do some more digging then too.” Kid grunted an acknowledgement, head down as he finished his list, pen nearly tearing the paper.

Wire stood and started putting the supplies away, he glanced at his captain.

“Boss… you know-“ He paused and considered himself, Kid glanced at him with a scowl. Better play it safe. “Just let me know if you need anything, you know I’d help.” Kid bristled at that, but just grunted again to dismiss the tall man.

He doodled a few sketches of his projects on the list, trying to clear his head. Eventually he puts everything up and leans against the railing, watching the waves and night sky.

After an hour or so, Heat joins him to take his watch shift, but brought a few beers for his captain. Kid downs his first two quickly, then nurses the next one.

“It’s none of my business,” Heat starts off.

“Then don’t fucking bring it up.” Kid snaps.

“But I think we should get rid of the sniper rookie.” Heat continues, eyes on the coast.

“What? Why the fuck do you think that?” Kid stood to shout at him. “Thought you two were buddy-buddy?!” He could keep the jealously out of voice.

“She’s alright. But she’s soft.” Heat isn’t phased by the shouting. “She won’t make it in the Grand Line. We can’t have that type of weakness.”

“Quincy’s soft. Wire’s soft. You questioning my authority huh?” Kid gulped the rest of his drink and tossed the bottle behind him. “You think I keep a weak crew?! That what you’re trying to say?!”

“The only thing she’s got going for her is she’s cute.” Heat added nonchalantly, Kid was fuming.

“Fuck off like she’d want your ugly, stitched up headed ass!” Kid grabbed his vest, forcing the other man to look at him. “She’s staying, she’s a good sniper and a good crew mate. Fucking question me again and I’ll fucking throw you overboard!” Heat grinned and Kid felt like he’d been caught.

“I get why everyone’s been fucking with you lately,” Heat chuckled. “It’s fun. You’re so biased for her, I’m a little jealous really, wish you’d defend me this hard.”

Kid wanted to shout again but he felt like he’d reveal too much. Well, more than what he’d already done. His face was hot and he felt deflated, but he released Heat with a shove.

“Maybe if ya did your job and not play mind games I would.” He finally says, Heat resumes his watch. An awkward silence falls over them.

“It’s not that bad, Boss. Trust me it could be worse. Imagine you liked Pomp? He’s fucking insane. I heard he sold his ex husband’s kidney for cheating on him in a dream.” Heat tried to console his friend, not his forte, but he felt a little bad at his trick. Kid let out a short laugh.

“Fuckin’ hell that can’t be true…. Can it?” He started on his next beer, sitting back down. They laugh together again.

“I don’t actually think we should get rid of her. Just sayin.”

“I know.”

“Yeah she’s soft, but she saved my ass that last fight, shooting that guy trying to creep up on me while I was taking care of Reck.”

Kid just hummed in response, still hesitant to say anything about her. Heat noticed.

“I promise it’s not that bad.”

Silence.

“I don’t think she’s scared of you, not really at least.”

“I heard what she said to you.”

“I think she’s scared of her ex captain. Should make her sit down with Wire, he’d sort her head out.” Heat lit a cigarette, offering a pull to Kid who shook his head.

“Not a bad idea. Just don’t want anyone knowing how-“ He paused. “She can go to Wire but I’m not gonna make her.” He said finally, Heat nodded in understanding.

“You can’t say it, I gotcha.”

“I can’t say it first.” Kid sighed, finishing his last bottle.

“Makes sense. Don’t worry,” Heat claps his hand on the captain’s shoulder. “It’ll happen.”

“Since when have you gotten this mushy?” Kid sneered. “I hate it. Go back to minding your own business.” Heat laughed as his captain got up. It was past midnight and he was tired.

He made his way down the halls, he needed to return his dishes or else Killer would bitch at him all day tomorrow. He placed them in the sink, then a thought struck him. Quickly glancing in the fridge, your plate was still there, all wrapped up nicely.

You hadn’t eaten since breakfast, he slammed the fridge shut. Fuck, you probably hadn’t finished your shit yet. He stalked down the halls towards your make shift shop room, irritated that you’d not finished yet and had still not eaten.

A small part of him was excited to have an excuse to talk to you, even if it was just to bitch at you. Maybe he’d walk you to the galley personally, to make sure you followed orders. Maybe he’d sit with you as you ate too, couldn’t let you try to skip out. After that he’d grumble at you for making him stay up late to babysit you, even though he chose to do it.

Then he may as well make you go to bed. His bed. With him. Obviously to make sure you didn’t try to sneak back to your project. He’d keep you pressed in his arms all night to ensure you didn’t try anything.

Fuck he needed to stop, he was hard in the middle of the hallway. He adjusted his belt before entering the shop room, hoping it’d hide his arousal. Somehow the shop was empty, all the weapons cleaned and stacked up correctly. He looked around for any mistakes or mess you’d left behind, anything that’d allow him a chance to speak with you.

But the room was spotless, everything put away correctly. Then where the fuck were you? He wondered if you went to bed right away, tempted to check your bunk. He headed toward it, pausing when he passed by the bathrooms, steam pouring out the door.

The doors to the bathrooms all had hatches at the top that opened to allow steam to vent. He was a little impressed that the hot water still worked after everyone’s showers.

With you in the stalls he didn’t have any excuse to bother you, you’d finished your work and unless he wanted to wait until you were out to force you to the galley, he was out of luck for tonight. Kid turned to go when he heard you moan.

Oh fuck.

He glanced around the halls, no one could hear you or see him palm his cock over his pants. You weren’t generous with your noises, obviously trying to stifle them, but some slipped out.

Your groans and whines sounded frustrated, like you couldn’t work how you wanted. He reached his hand inside his pants to grip himself, jaw clenched almost painfully to avoid alerting you. His mind filled in the gaps of what he couldn’t see. He pictured walking in and offering to help you reach your climax, since you still seemed to struggle.

He thought about how’d you’d look right then if he did, wet and naked, probably surprised and shy. Maybe you’d try to cover yourself, until you’d realize what he was offering. Or maybe you already knew he was there, confident he’d join you. Maybe you’d tell him exactly what you wanted from him.

He’d let you boss him around, at least at the start, but after you cum once or twice, then he’d be in control again. He thumbed his slit right as you let out a different moan.

Oh. That one was much more satisfied, he didn’t know what changed to make everything work for you, but he was pleased. He stroked himself faster now, checking the halls quickly, then held his ear to the open hatch. Your whines and moans were breathier, much more high pitched. He squeezed his cock, picturing it was you. When he closed his eyes and really focused on listening, he swore he could hear how wet your pussy sounds.

Your moans are getting faster and he tries to keep up, hand pumping hard to get himself off. Finally you let off a loud moan, cutting yourself off halfway through in a pathetic attempt to be quiet. He’s not quite there yet, so he moves his hand fast, but freezes when you turn of the shower.

Shit you were done. He was fucked.

Without adjusting his pants he quickly walks down the hall, his workshop is closer than his room. It’ll have to do for now, it’s not the first time he’s jacked off in there. He gets the door closed and locked before resuming.

Part of him is irritated, his high was so close just to be edged back. But more of him felt a little proud, you’d gotten off before him, as you should. Yeah it wasn’t like he’d gotten you to cum, but it still stroked his ego. He thought about that as he sat down, hand around himself again, stroking quickly.

He wondered how many times he should make you cum before he did. Hell how many times should you cum before he even fucked you with his cock. At least two times on his fingers and maybe three times of his tongue, that seemed fair.

He rubbed his tip harshly as he thought about your sounds, they were so sweet and full of emotion. Kid could basically read your mind from how expressive you were, so open and honest with your lewd moans. He could tell when you were close, when you were struggling, and even when something clicked. He wondered what it was that made you moan like that, thinking of ways to extract that info.

His climax caught him off guard as he thought about you. He came across his hand and chest with a groan, some of his spend getting on his pants. As he came down, panting as he leaned back in his chair, he could hear you walking down the hall.

Leaping up, he tucked himself back into his pants, grabbed an old rag to wipe the cooling cum from his hands and chest. He knocked over the chair and toppled a few tools in his haste. Your steps were quiet but he was hyper aware of you as you passed the door.

After a few minutes of quiet he finally exited, going straight to his room and laying face down on the bed. He wanted to shout but settled for smothering himself until he finally dozed off.

#one piece #one piece smut #eustass kid #one piece kid #eustass x reader #kid x reader

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needlefail · 10 days

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How would you depict Kelsey and Wildernessa as a couple?

AHHH SORRY THIS TOOK FOREVER TO ANSWERRRR I wanted to make sure I had my thoughts gathered because I think about everything extensively </3 cant promise this is readable or organized tho as an apology take this doodle of them

Anyways Kelsey and Wildernessa is something I do think about sometimes because *looks off in to the sunset* what could have been…

So first I’ll list what I like about their dynamic (in canon not really as a couple yet) and then go from there :

* Both understand each other (as seen in The Great Fossil Rush and Wildernessa <-the episode )

* Both have odd ways of expressing themselves and find comfort in dedicating themselves to what they enjoy (ex Wildernessa/her expressing her feelings through animals/being an animal ally and Kelsey/her narration/being a strong heroic knight)

* Both have respect towards each other

* ^^ Kelsey also has alot of admiration for Wildernessa, something which the latter cares about (as seen in Puppy Love when Wildernessa was worried Kelsey wouldn’t see her as good as she did if she knew Cheesesticks ran away)

Now with all this in mind, the relationship stuff:

These two would be the sort of relationship where they’re usually on the same page, if one of them has an idea the other will most likely be the first to support it. Wildernessa would be the more level headed of the pair, though I think she can come across as just as intense so her snd Kelsey would usually have a perfect balance where they can handle each other’s intensity if that makes sense??

I think Wildernessa also calls most of the shots whenever they do something while Kelsey just kinda goes “Alright ^-^!!!!!”

Though they both have their cool and tough persona’s, they’re both definitely still kinda dorky which again THEY MATCH EACH OTHER’S DORK so it all works perfectly

I think there would be some tiny bumps between them tho?? Its obvious to see how much Kelsey idolizes Wildernessa, perhaps a bit too much… in Ferret Quest, we see Kelsey grow more and more frustrated when she’s unable to impress Wildernessa as much as Stacks, causing her to act rashly in a desperate attempt of doing something right (ex her rushing to catch the ferret and also her snapping at Stacks). While idolizing someone constantly is already not a good habit, in a relationship it could be a problem as well. While it is sweet to have Kelsey constantly gushing about how cool Wildernessa is and all that silly stuff, I think Kelsey would struggle a bit with holding herself to the same level that she thinks Wildernessa is on. Maybe she’d try too hard to do something impressive for her or maybe she’d worry she’s not as cool as her WHATEVER IT IS, I think you get what Im trying to say..

I hope

Anyways this applies to Wildernessa too. In Puppy Love, Wildernessa confines in Craig that she’s worried her image might be ruined to Kelsey (and JP) if she asks her for help finding Cheesesticks, shes aware of how much Kelsey idolizes her and does whatever she can to avoid tarnishing that image. In Breaking the Ice, she also comments about how she gets animals more than people. So taking all that into consideration, I think she’d somewhat struggle being honest and vulnerable around Kelsey, in fear of being misunderstood or being seen differently. This isnt something she struggles with with Craig because their dynamic is much different here: Craig didn’t idolize Wildernessa especially not as much as Kelsey, to him she was just some normal kid (albeit a little mean) but because pf that Wildernessa didn’t have to worry about being seen differently if she opened up.

THATS.. All i’ve really got, if you add Stacks to it I think she’d really help balance them out more but yea tehehe

#craig of the creek #cotc #kelsey pokoly #wildernessa #wildernessa cotc #kelsey x wildernessa #hope this is what you meant anon #sorries this took so long </3 #kiri art #edit: is the image..dark for wveryone else??#the bg is super light in the og idk if its just my tumblr or something

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goatakiart · 6 months

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❀ It's hard to love ❀

Scara x Reader (Lumine)

Uni AU

Childhood friends (slow burn?)

SFW but slightly suggestive

Mention of drugs and smoking

⚘I work really hard to write and draw for each fanfic! I hope you like it! ⚘

Why is it that hard to love?

Scara and you have been knowing each other since childhood. You have been to field trips together, you have tried the same hobbies and have been to the same classes.

He keeps trying, for what? He doesn't even know. But whatever he's trying it's to no avail.

Everytime he tries to be nicer it's not working.

The other day, you went to the university's cafeteria and ordered a latte.

"Are you buying this shit again?" He exclaims disgusted.

What he was trying to say is..."I could buy it for you." But he didn't. He fucking didn't, and it pissed him off. He felt like a moron.

You roll your eyes in annoyance, knowing him full well. He was always like that, but you do know his soul. You know how he feels and who he really is. You can feel it when he has cried the night before.

Oh does he cry often.

But none knows, you were not supposed to know, but you do, you can sense it.

After university ends you both head to the library to study, he holds and sips on his third bitter coffee as he's listening to music and reading on the desk next to you, focusing on his studies. You instead, cannot study, for the love of God, how can you? It's the perfect time to steal glances at him. When he's listening to music, he really doesn't understand what's going on around him. The only thing you can do is doodle him as he's unaware. He's a top student, but none really expected him to be this good when he got to university. In school, he was always fighting with the other kids, never studying, always causing trouble. You have asked him a couple of times if he has ever done drugs. To which he answered no, but you knew he was lying.

Luckily, when high school ended, he could finally move from his mother's house to live with his aunt, which did him really good. It was still hard to have conversations, though, yet you cherished him because even if he acted like an asshole at times, he was always present, especially when you needed him, and that was enough.

It seems like you daydreamed for way too long.

"What are you looking at, Idiot." He exclaims, annoyed, he's right in front of your face, and you didn't even notice. This makes you jump from your seat and immediately look for the notebook you were doodling on. Where is it???

"Are you looking for that?" He holds it like a piece of crap by a page, between his index finger and his thumb, letting the rest hang.

You try to grab it, but to no avail, he flashes a satisfied, rather evil grin before he lets it fall and immediately catches it midway through on the air, which makes the book close loudly.

"Give it back..."

"Hah." He scuffs mockingly. Curiosity has won him over, and he opens the notebook eagerly. He didn't mean to pry on your private stuff...he didn't know why he did it. Maybe he needed a sign... maybe...

His eyes widen as he finally reaches the point of the book which is full of doodles...doodles of him.

You look down embarrassed, trapping your hand between your thighs in order to protect your body from the invisible force of shame. You expect him to mock you, but instead, his face...changes color?

His cheeks begin flashing a pink tint just before his whole face turns red, his ears too.

He immediately closes the book and gives it to you, all while looking away to avoid your gaze. Little did he know you also looked away from him. You try to get your book back, grabbing it forcefully in case he attempts to pull it away, but your fingers slightly touch his. He shivers and covers his face in response. I hate her, I hate her, I hate her, he tells himself, to convince his spirit to calm down.

"I....I will see you later, bye."

He walks away in hurry, banging the door behind him which makes everyone in the library to raise their head and look at that direction, you try to hide your own face before the people notice the action was related to you. Your heart is still beating like crazy. It almost makes you feel dizzy. Did he really see it all? What if he hates you now? Maybe he'll avoid you... this is so embarrassing. You lay your face straight on the desk, followed by a defeated groan.

Scaramouche walks fast to get back home, too fast, he almost trips a few times. His mind arguing by itself.

"Why the fuck is she doodling me?"

"These drawings were pretty good, does he think I'm handsome?"

"Maybe she just doodles whoever she finds in front of her to practice."

"Does she... draw other people too...?"

He stops at this last thought to take a deep, reaaaally deep breath.

"Fuck." He's too deep into this, it ruins him, it hurts him to the core, but when you're around it feels great, he feels like he can achieve everything when you're next to him, as if it's only the two of you in the world. It's genuinely confusing, his mind is spinning, he stops outside his apartment and lights a cigarette. He lays his back against the yellow cemented wall. He releases the smoke and arches his head back to look at the sky, it's cloudy, gray, and it reminds him of the mess he is. He relates to the storm, and he hates it.

His aunt, Nahida, storms out of the door in an appron, slippers and a spoon which genuinely startles Scara, the cigarette drops from his mouth to the ground, as his eyes followed the now useless cigarette he notices it begins to get covered in rain, which adds to its uselessness. Drowns it.

"Are you smoking again? What did I say?"

"Look, I'm an adult. I don't smoke in your house, so that should be enough."

Nahida understands the cold interior. He thinks that if he does whatever is necessary, there's no point for anyone to bother him. He has no idea how someone can do something out of care...or worry. Or maybe he has, but he doesn't wanna believe he deserves this kind of treatment.

"The food is ready, you should get in, you'll catch a cold in the rain!" She says, patting his back just before she gets in again.

Scara watches her as she enters the house. Suddenly, his body bounced as he recalled the fact that your house was somewhat far to walk back to. He leaps forward, stepping on the cigarette he previously dropped, to go and find you.

As he guessed, he spotted you on the avenue near your uni.

Just before you crossed the road, you were trying to cover yourself with your hoodie, wearing your backpack to your stomach, trying to protect the books from the rain. He gasps at your sight, he stops running, trying to catch his breath, he leans forward and his fists clench on his knees. This feeling again. He hesitates to call out your name.

A car passes by really fast, splashing water all over you, Scara in anger yells at the car from afar.

"Go to hell, fucker!"

You jerked your head, blinking as you notice his familiar figure.

"Scara?!" You yell from the other side. However, your voice is muffled by the loud sound of the rain as it gets heavier, he cannot hear you but manages to read his name on your lips.

Oh fuck. He thinks to himself, did he mess up again? He wants to run to you and cover you up...but he just stays in place, staring at you, his pupils shake as the rain pours on him, his wet hair all over his face. Theres a moment of silence before you decide to pass by the road, trotting to his direction in worry.

"What are you doing here??"

He tries to talk... wants to... but, but... why is it so hard? ... ah!!! Fuck it!

In one quick movement, he swings his hand and grabs your wrist forcefully, pulling you close to him.

Another pause. Your heart flutters for a moment, his indigo eyes looking into your own as if he's searching for something, grasping your attention. He cuts the silence like a knife would cut the butter, his sharp voice demanding your attention.

"Let's go."

He walks on the opposite side of you, pulling you behind him, slowly speeding up his steps, leading you towards his apartment.

"I thou--I mean, Nahida thought that it's best you don't walk all this distance in the rain, you will catch a cold."

You can barely hear him among the pitter-patter of the extremely heavy rain.

"It's okay, I can go..."

He tilts his head back, with a frown, his gaze pierces you angrily.

"It's half an hour trip, literally shut the fuck up."

"Okayyy, Mister, I'm sorry!"

"Hmph."

He rotates his head to the direction you're heading again, still pulling you.

You finally reach your destination. There's no time to process anything before he opens the door, almost throwing you inside before him. He wants you to get to safety quickly, but damn, is he rude about it. You both leave your shoes by the door.

"Look who's here!" Nahida greets you both. She rushes in to turn on the water heater and helps you both take off your coats and bags.

You know her very well, you have been staying for dinner a lot of times. You live alone, so Nahida always likes to treat you with good food instead of going back home to instant noodles.

You both sit on the table, somewhat awkward. You fiddle on the towel on your head. Nahida places the plates on the table, Scara helps her lazily, the glasses are clinging against each other, he separates them from his hands and puts them next to the plates. The menu today has chelow kebab. You love that dish. The aroma of the well cooked beef against the steamy rice together with the variety of spices is filling your system, revealing a hunger you didn't know you have. You all begin to eat and chat about all the random topics. Might that be school, family situations or even funny moments you all shared together, the kitchen is filled with laughter, and of course, Scara's grumpiness when it comes to the two women remembering funny moments that do not benefit him at all, which causes you to laugh even harder.

The water finally got hot, Scara insists on you getting into the shower first to avoid catching a cold. He never gets sick anyway.

You do as you're told and get in. It feels like home, so there's not much embarrassment going around. You shower quickly without many thoughts in your mind. The hot water dropping on your body helps your muscles relax, and your temperature finally comes back to normal. You quickly get out in the robe Nahida gave you and sprint into Scara's room.

He notices you as you enter the room and close the door behind you. He takes a long sip of his bitter black tea.

"Why the heck did she give you my robe?"

A jolt of surprise runs in your body like electricity. You take a moment to really shake the dirty thought that lingers in your mind. He has been in the robe you're wearing...naked.

"Um..."

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "Nevermind, I have another."

It's very challenging to hide the fact that your imagination is running wild at this moment.

What does he look like naked??

"Are you gonna just stand on top of my head all night? Sit down."

You try to find of an excuse.

"I was thinking that my clothes haven't dried yet..."

He raises an eyebrow.

"...and?"

A short moment of silence follows.

"I'll bring you some."

"You have women's clothes?"

"No, dumbass. I'll give you my clothes."

He reaches for the drawer and it doesn't take much time for him to pull out a pair of pajamas.

"Am I going out on pajamas?"

You clearly are playing dumb.

"I'm not sure if you pretend to be stupid or you actually are. The rain ain't gonna stop anytime soon. You're staying here.

He demands it, and you're not bothered at all by it.

"Are you sure?"

"There's no point to repeat what I just said." He's already walking out of the room midway the sentence, leaving you alone in the room, with the folded cloth sitting on your thighs and drops from your -still- wet hair running down your back, you attempt to remove your robe and dress up, till you notice the black underwear, his underwear. He really gave it to you just like that? You're way too hesitant to wear this. You're getting shy, or perhaps the thoughts in your head are rising at an increasingly dangerous speed. The creaking sound of the door opening drags you out of your thoughts, and a Scara in baggy clothes emerges.

"Why are you still sitting in the robe? Do you wish to soak my bed?"

You do wish to soak his bed.

"I'm sorry...it's just...um..."

He raises an eyebrow, your brain tries to focus on something else. The only thing it can pick up is the sound of the fabric on his hoodie as he crosses his arms. The silence is deafening.

"...Go on."

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

His head turned slightly to the side, his eyes turned down and forward to you.

"Yea, I just zoned out a bit. I'm going to change, can you turn around?"

The question embarrasses Scara, he doesn't even know the reason, he would prefer to be in the same room as you while you change, but his brain betrays his love deprived heart once again, it is not new to him. He simply opens the door to get out.

"Be fast about it."

But that doesn't mean he won't follow up with an act of kindness. Sometimes, passes till he knocks the door, and you let him in. He's holding a cup of hot chocolate. A tiny smile surfaced from the corners of Scara's mouth just when he saw you in his own clothes, even if small, the smile was radiating a sense of pride and...joy.

"Good."

He hands you the cup.

"Thanks..."

You place the hem of the cup on your mouth, taking a sip of your drink as you sit uncomfortably in his unexpectedly comfortable clothes.

"You didn't have to--" He cuts you off angrily.

"Cut the pleasantries. This is not like you at all."

Of course it is not. Your mind is too busy wandering around, imagining things you shouldn't.

"Would you be satisfied if I treated you like a bitch?"

"Maybe I would."

Wow. What?!

You both pause.

"I mean, I appreciate honesty, alright."

"I can be nice and honest."

"You're unbearable."

"And you're a prick."

"Are you sure about that? You're wearing this pricks clothes right now."

"I swear I could--"

I could remove them.

"--hit you right now.

"You? Hit me? Get a grip."

Maybe I'm into that.

You raise your arm as if you're going to hit him, jokingly landing your hand on his arm.

He scoffs. And you do, too. You find yourself laughing. Oh, how he loves your laugh. How he enjoys seeing you sitting comfortably in his room, in his clothes. He wishes to stop time right now, engrave this moment in his consciousness.

"Say...Lumine."

"Hm?"

Not gonna lie. The sudden change of mood stressed you, your eyes locked with his, and your eyebrows rose in curiosity. A line appeared between his brows as his eyes leered, trying to guess your expression as much as you were trying to guess his own.

It was always like that, no matter how close you would be to each other, there was always this invisible wall, as if his soul is within reach but you could never reach it, a distant dream, but a nightmare contiguous with your consciousness. The nightmare of losing him, the nightmare of him turning his back away from you, never looking behind him again.

It took him a long time to speak, you didn't rush things, he looked like he needed time, you saw it as his eyes, from a starry sky turned into a deep distant ocean.

He was scared. God only knows what he was scared of.

"Nevermind."

Another one ended convo. How many times did you go through this? It stirred your heart dry.

Your ribcage felt like it's compressing your chest, your heart swollen into it, about to burst, if this happened...your feelings would pour out...then he'll leave...he'll...

"No."

"What?"

His eyes widen, and a glimpse of hope poured out of them, giving this vast ocean a glimmer of the stars you witness inside his soul.

"I know something is wrong, Scara. Why are you avoiding me? What are you so scared of?"

His eyebrows frowned, he looked angry....or desperate...it was hard to read his expressions. You kept talking.

"I appreciate honesty as much as you do. However, you're not honest. No, you're not lying to me or to Nahida. You're lying to yourself. Have you ever allowed yourself to swallow anything else than this bitter tea?"

You felt your body weak from all the overwhelming emotions. You are trying your best to stay composed, but your body shakes netherless.

He takes a deep breath, his mind begins to spin.

"Is there anything else than bitterness in life? It's the true flavor of everything. You can see it everywhere, in history, in books, poetry, and people love it. They like the bitterness, and they enjoy pouring my cup with it."

"That's not true! And even if it is..."

You pause to stroke Scara's sleeve. Nothing will stop you. He needs to witness his worth from your own eyes.

"I'll be the one who will pour the honey in that cup. No matter how much you hate it, I'll be here regardless, and I'll keep annoying you, sending you texts, memes, talking about my day to you when you picked your phone up just because I called you five times in a row."

Why is loving so damn hard?

He hates it. He hates feeling vulnerable, she hits every spot, he hates not being able to put his feelings into words, and what about actions? Whatever he does, his actions do not match the emotion. It's pointless to try, yet... there's something in him that begs her not to let go of him. When she says just that, all hell broke loose.

"How fucking Irritating."

You gasped, taking your frown away from his sight. You're about to get up and leave.

He can't let that happen. Not again.

He grabs your arm with intensity, pulling you down again.

"Let go of me--"

There's no time to get mad, there's no time to react or speak further, because...because all hell broke loose.

His lips met with yours. In a still, silent movement. The movement itself might be "emotionless," but the action itself released all the emotions in the world. He couldn't react further in fear of doing the wrong thing, however he didn't let go of your wrist, he just grasped it harder, squeezing it painfully inside his palm, his closed eyes frowned in discomfort. It was only natural. This was so out of character for him. You noticed everything because,in your own nervousness, you find it difficult to close your eyes, taking your time to process what is just happening, not responding to his kiss. Unfortunately, this made him think he did the wrong move and attempted to move away.

You...can't let him go. Not again.

You grabbed his face and clashed your lips against his own once more. Your kiss was the exact opposite to his attempt. Your expression, however, is familiar to his. Your kiss was deep and sloppy, your heart was banging against your chest, feeling your pulse hammering on your whole body, your lower abdomen felt ticklish, your whole body was stressed by the adrenaline running wild in your system. He finally responded to the kiss with the same intensity, his body pressed against yours, pushing you, causing you to fall on the bed under him, but he didn't let you just fall, he was holding your waist firmly, letting you down softly as he turned the kiss from sloppy and intense, to collected and passionate. He seemed experienced, so you followed his lead and wrapped your arms around his shoulders. Your hands reached the back of his neck and kept moving till you began caressing the back of his scalp carefully. A slow, cozy playlist was left playing in the background while the raindrops kept pounding on the window. Everything felt perfect, an outcome you would never expect, an outcome he wouldn't dare to even dream of.

Loving is hard, but maybe it's worth it if you're the honey to his bitter tea.

#scaralumi #scara x reader #genshin scara #scaramouche fanart #scaramouche #scara #wanderer x you #genshin wanderer #genshin scaramouche #genshin fanfic #wanderer x reader #wanlumi #scaralumi fanfic #genshin fanart #genshin fluff

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rodismancave · 5 months

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[ Starter for @for-the-better-and-worse ]

It takes Rodimus very little time to find what he assumes is the hole Prowl enjoys burrowing himself in. A place like this isn't all too hard to find, especially when all you have to do is find the last building you saw him in, and look for the one single hallway people avoid walking through at any given time.

The whole place is desolate. Perhaps a little more now with Starscream in charge. Rodimus has seen people, and he's certainly heard people, but it all feels superficial. Mechs he doesn't know, and won't ever bother getting to know.

In all honesty, Rodimus had been in Cybertron for nearly two days now. He hadn't want to give Prowl that satisfaction, and he would frankly never admit that Megatron and Ultra Magnus did, in fact, let him go without much trouble. He'd say his excuse of 'Urgent call from Cybertron, Prowl won't stop bothering me to help. Says only I can do it,y'know how he is' had been convincing, but he can never tell these days. He could've probably just left without saying anything and Rodimus is sure they'd only notice when they realize the quiet. (and the missing vessel)

When he knocks on the door and there is no answer, Rodimus simply makes himself at home. The door is unlocked (which shocks him to a degree, he'd expect Prowl to be better than this) and the inside is dark and gloomy and ridiculously organized, a feat Rodimus both appreciates as familiar, and is repulsed by due to the simple fact it reminds him of who lives here. Making sure not to leave a trail (Prowl is a detective, but Rodimus is stealth-- he knows not to be obvious when he wants to), Rodimus goes through a few surface level items, checking everything he can, gathering whatever fucked up personal information he can while Prowl is away. He's not trying to find anything to blackmail the mech, he is Prowl, after all, and everyone's got something on him, but he does enjoy going through people's things, reading things he is probably not meant to. Simply taking his time exploring his surroundings.

His (very careful, very methodical) research gives him a single screaming result: Prowl is boring, and he works and works and works, and doesn't even give himself the pleasure of having doodle pads. It's almost sad, really.

Disappointed but not deterred, Rodimus is quick to find a nice, cozy spot to wait Prowl in. (Which happens to be a particularly tight closet. er. He's not picky.) The runaway Captain inspects the door, shrugs, and closes it, trying to wiggle into a comfortable position, and promptly getting the edge of his spoiler stuck in-- God, he doesn't even know what it's gotten stuck in, but it hurts like a motherfucker, and he can't do anything about it now, because the more he struggles the worse it gets wedged in there. Oh, yeah, and he hears someone come in.

#hi . your honor hes so fucking stupid.#ic #forthebetterandworse #//you dont have 2 match my length btw. i got very carried away. meow :3

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tobiasdrake · 2 months

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There's just one last thing that must occur to set the stage for the original trilogy of films.

...I don't know why that would be true. But you said it while onscreen which means it's established in the film now. So it has to work that way, I guess.

Why do you even care about taking away his memories, Stryker? He was content to walk out and leave you alone after finding out Kayla betrayed him. Why are you going to risk your life to cause Logan amnesia?

It's done. The bullet caused reparable harm that will regenerate completely except for his memory which is gone forever, because that is how we decided it would work three minutes ago in the film.

There's just one more loose end to take care of.

Oh. Right. Somehow I completely forgot about that. That is a whoopsy-doodle. That is on me.

You really should. This man is going to attempt to commit genocide on your entire race. But Kayla's really big on inappropriately timed gestures of selective mercy for the most despicable monsters ever to walk this earth.

Lying here dying from a gunshot wound caused while trying to save her little sister from him. But. Sure. Stryker's life is the most important thing here. He still has so much to offer to the future. Specifically, narrowly avoiding running afoul of this.

It's just bad luck for Kayla that the two guys running this den of human suffering are both too important to future events to be allowed to die here. At least she still gets to screw him over.

It would be morally wrong to take his life. So we're just going to torture him until he cries for mercy and then let him go and hope for the best. Cruelly cathartic without offering any real hope of harm mitigation or change in the future.

Are we sure she's Canadian? Because she is amazing at the U.S. brand of justice.

#x-men origins wolverine #x-men #drake watches x-men #drake watches x-men origins wolverine

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huntinglove · 3 months

Note

Can I ask about your Indide Out OC? They're so cute! -Zee

Hi hi!! Thank you so much!! Also, to explain their lore and personality I have to point out a few things:

In my selfship with Ennui, all the emotions are my own, not Riley's! In this universe there are way more emotions, considering that I'm an adult, the main nine stay in the control room and the others can take a teleporter if needed! Also, my self insert themselves are not an emotion! With that out of the way...

They're obsession! A little worker that manages and tweaks the personality islands' contents. Something starts getting out of hand and they get sent to the control room, to monitor and administrate whichever trait is being overwhelming to the mind

Obsession isn't a naturally occurring mind phenomenon, and they start off as a small little soot sprite looking creature and can eventually grow into a hulking monster, if not kept on check!

They have a little drawing tablet where they can manage the islands while they're away, doodling whichever adjustments need to be made (like in Shelter from Porter Robinson!)

When it comes to personality, Obsession is very fixated on the big and the small, they're a perfectionist that usually ends up blaming themselves if something doesn't look right or go according to plan

All their emotions are extremes, they can't balance themselves out. If they're sad they can barely keep themselves up, if they're happy they're bouncing across the room and so on!

If we're talking relationships, they have very strong feelings towards each of the emotions!

They're completely and madly in love with Ennui, the second they look at her! They always have their eyes on her and they're always trying to show themselves off to get her attention, which usually leads to them being cluttery and clumsy, which makes Ennui find them endearing and entertaining. They're polar opposites but they love and care deeply about one another!

They're Anxiety's best friend and they can just loop all the projections she shares with them in their mind for hours.

They're scared of Anger but they resonate with him, having them both in control can be extremely dangerous and unhealthy, like an awful influence on each other. Anger fuels their fiery mentality and Obsession puts him on all the wrong directions, which makes them impulsive, jealous, possessive, assertive, etc.

They are overwhelmed by Joy but sometimes they share the same wavelength, Joy doesn't notice that sometimes having both of them in control can be overwhelming for everyone involved, including in the outside world...

They're terrified of Disgust considering that they themselves do not have self esteem (not the sense of self esteem, they genuinely don't see anything positive about themselves until Ennui or the others point it out to them) and they're terrified of being judged so they usually avoid her as much as possible

They find Fear entertaining and will sometimes mess with him just to have him and Anxiety take control and follow their own personal judgement of a situation. This usually gets Obsession sent to time out by Joy...

They love doting on Sadness, they find her very cute and sweet and they try their best to cheer her up in their own twisted little way. They have "fun" facts about the contents of the personality islands to tell her whenever she's feeling down, though it either leaves her confused or even more upset

They're very caring of Embarrassment, which feels a bit overwhelming for him. They take on a caretaker role and point out little things that he needs to pay attention to to feel better, which usually just makes him even more nervous or shy, but he appreciates them looking out for him!

They're like an aunt/uncle to Envy and they love to gossip together, they rant about everything that makes them jealous about the things/people around them. Envy usually boosts their mood by praising them and making comments about how she wishes she was similar to them!

And last but not least, their abilities consist of:

Living hair: It changes shape and consistency based on their own emotions! It can be soft and smooth while they're pleased, raggedy and sharp when they're upset and silky and gentle when they're infatuated or flustered! They also work as extra arms and/or legs for when they need to move around quickly

Interests: Making and managing all changes in the personality islands! They're the one who points out when something needs to be demolished, reconstructed, augmented or remade! Sometimes, if they feel too intensely about something, they'll override the workers' orders and map things out on their tablet themselves instead

Fixation: Having them take over the control panel. Usually the brain's sense of self joins them for assistance, which makes the situation manageable and safe! It's usually what happens when engaging with long lasting hobbies or activities that require a lot of focus!

Hyperfixation: When they take over the control panel by suppressing the other emotions, keeping them pinned/tied using their hair and working themselves out until the panel short circuits or the body exhausts itself. This is usually what happens when they feel the need to prove themselves to an extreme (i.e.: drawing for extremely long amounts of time without taking care of themselves)

O.L.D. aka Obsessive Love Disorder: When the body becomes overly infatuated with someone, this causes Obsession to create their own projections about said person. It can be positive (like thinking about a future together and listing off everything that they love about someone) or negative (insane bursts of jealousy and/or paranoia). Having them focus so much on somebody else makes Ennui insanely jealous, even if she won't ever admit it, so she usually teases them to snap them out of it and just allow love or joy to take over!

Ennui also likes calling them old when they behave like this, because they don't understand the meaning behind what she's saying, so they keep pouting and reminding her that they're way younger than her

#✯ lovely asks #❥ never bored of you

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alyszaen · 1 year

Text

~ "Doodle" - changbin x chichi ~

embedding in time: march 2023, right after "Break The Rules" word count: 1.5k summary: changbin and chichi finally talk things through warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff disclaimer: Chichi is an O/C invented by @chiskz who gave me explicit permission to create and post this. a/n: This is the final part of a 3-Part-Series, so I recommend reading part 1 and 2 first

Part One Part Two

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this right now.", her voice was quiet.

She was about to leave again, but this time he was fast enough to grab her wrist. He didn't apply any pressure, but the young woman had no fight left and let him hold her in place.

Seungmin appeared in the doorway. "Sorry guys, but you need this.", he closed the door to the practice room. The two best friends knew they were locked in when they heard a key turning in the lock. How the hell did Seungmin even get a key for the room?

"Changbin, please let me go.", Chichi turned towards the young rapper who still holding her wrist in his hand. But instead of following through with her request, he shook his head, "Please, Ichi, I just need to talk this through with you. Just hear me out. I'm begging you!" He gave her arm a small squeeze and let her go right after in hopes of having convincer her to listen to him, letting his hands slide into his pockets, "Besides, I don't think they'll let us out anytime soon, unless we talk."

The older girl sighed, before sitting on the floor in front of him. She didn't want to move over to the couch in the corner of the practice room - too afraid that it would be comfortable and she'd lean onto him like she always used to do. It was something she couldn't do anymore.

It didn't take Changbin long to sit down aswell, facing her. He thought she would not notice the way his hands were shaking. It was confusing to the fake maknae - Why was he nervous, when she was the one with a broken heart? She took a deep breath and lifted her head, finally looking into the boys eyes. "You want to talk, Changbin? So talk."

His heart ached for her calling him by his name. She always called him Binnie. Everytime without fail. But she was in too much pain to do that. And he couldn't help but hear the venom in her voice. He knew she didn't mean it - it was a mere attempt to push him away in order to reduce the pain for herself. But that didn't make it hurt any less for him. With a slightly quivering lower lip he finally started speaking.

"I want to apologize to you, bunny. I have been wanting to do that for a while now, but whenever I tried to talk to you, you did everything in your power to avoid me. You didn't even give me a chance to explain myself!", he stopped himself before the passion in his voice would become too strong and he'd get loud. He knew he shouldn't blame her. She was only trying to protect herself.

Chichi wanted to leave. She wanted to run away from this again. But she knew she couldn't. They were locked in a room by their friends and she was sure that they would not allow them to leave until they finally solved the issue that had been clouding both of their minds throughout the last days. So she bit her lower lip, sucked in her cheeks harshly and kept every mean word in her mind from spilling out. If she yelled at him again she not only would start another fight, but also wasn't sure if she would forgive herself for hurting him again. Her heart may have been broken because she lost her love, but he lost her best friend.

Changbin looked at her expectantly - wanting to get a reaction out of her. Any reaction, really. But when he saw the the pinkish color slowly drawing from how much force she was using to bite down on her lip, he knew what he needed to do.

Shuffling over to her was kind of awkward from his cross-legged position, but he still made his way over to her and got closer. He lifted his arms, streching them away from his body as a way to offer her a hug. It was a way to make sure she was okay with this - with his embrace. He would never need to ask her permission for a hug, but he wasn't so sure right now. And it didn't take long for the tears to spill out of the corners of her eyes. Her heart was racing, unable to control her emotions anymore. Chichi basically jumped into Changbins arms and after barely a second he went and closed his arms around her, successfully pressing her body into his chest. The hug was tight, but he knew she needed it.

Ichi let her tears fall, her body still shaking. She couldn't voice her fears to him. She was so sure she lost him. Yet all she really wanted was his embrace.

The younger man removed one arm from her back and put it to the back of her head. He brushed through the strands of her hair carefully, like he had done so many times before.

It was difficult for him to find the right words - he opened his mouth to speak so many times, only to close it again. But when he heard her sobs he decided to just let his words spill out. He was going to let his heart speak.

"Park Ichi, can you not tell how much you mean to me? When I wake up the first thing I think about is how much I hope we can go to the gym together again. When I fall asleep you are the last thing on my mind. I constantly think about your beautiful bright smile, especially when I am the one that makes you show it. I never stop thinking about how I can be closer to you than the day before. When you were with Seungmin, even if it was only for show, I could feel my heart break. I could feel it shatter. When I see you in a shirt you stole from me I could start crying from how adorable you look in it. And when you give it back I hope that it smells like you."

The girl couldn't see his tears, but she felt the wetness of them on her shoulder - seeping through the material of her shirt. He was shivering but continued, "I would give up everything in life to be with you. To get another minute with you. I wrote a whole damn song for you! Even STAY figured out that Doodle was about you, but you were so goddamn oblivious. And that day, when you told me how you felt about me-", he stopped in the middle of his sentence when he felt Ichi loosen their mutual embrace. She pulled back to look into his eyes. Her arms had found his back a while ago.

The hand that Changbin had rested on her head moved to Chichis cheek, softly holding his palm there. He was sunbconsciously drawing small patterns on her chin and she leaned into his touch - her eyes closing for a moment to feel his touch more vividly.

When the rapper continued talking she looked at him again. "The reason why I didn't react was because it didn't feel real. I felt like a teenager who's crush just confessed to him. Which is kind of exactly what happened, I guess.", he sighed, annoyed that he still couldn't find the right words to tell her how he felt.

Both of them stopped crying slowly, only staring into eachothers eyes. They were stuck in this moment. And all they found was pure adoration and love. For the first time in days both of them felt that comfortable piece that always surrounded them when they were together. Not a single sign of hesitancy was in either of their faces when they both leaned in simultaniously.

It felt like a firework exploded the second their lips touched. Ichi noticed that his lips were softer than she imagined, when she thought about kissing him during some intimate moments they shared. And now - for the first time - those thoughts became reality. He let out a tiny, almost inaudible, sigh into the kiss when Chichis arms moved from his back to his neck. He pulled her face even closer into his, if that was even possible.

Neither one of them wanted to release the other. Not one of them wanted this moment to end. But the need for oxygen in their lungs unfortunately won over and they pulled apart breathlessly.

When their eyes met for the nth time this day, both of them started smiling. Changbin tried to keep his smile subtle, but he couldn't stop from grinning widely. Ichi blushed visibly, but so did he.

The young man moved the thumb from her chin to her lip, touching it carefully, as if he couldn't believe what just happened and needed to relive the moment.

"Seo Changbin, I love you. So, so, so much. So much, that it hurts."

"Aishiteru, usagi."

Ichi broke out in loud laughter, "Let's work on your japanese pronounciation, boyfriend!" "Boyfriend? I like the sound of that, bunny!"

A loud knock on the door stopped the boy from puting, "Ayo, are you done being all gross now? We're all going out to eat. Wanna join us?" "Only if you pay, Seungmin!", Chichi jumped up, slid her hand into Changbins and pulled him up and towards the door. The singer let out a disapproving huff. "Maybe I'll just leave you locked in, then." "YAH, LET US OUT SEUNGMIN-AH!"

"Aishiteru, usagi." - "I love you, bunny.

Taglist: @longingpurity @hyujinnie1 @sensitiveandhungry @yrhome @hee0soo @minnnie-binnie @zoe8stay @l3visbby @bbyquokka @imafivestarkpopstan @mxnsxngie @serenitysoda200 @lino-jagiyaa @notastraykid @alixnsuperstxr @chanlovesme Feel free to let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist!

#stray kids #skz #drabble #skz drabbles #skz oneshots #skz imagines #stray kids oc #skz oc #oc #kpop addition #stray kids 9th member #kpop added member #alysdrabbles #chiskz #skz angst #skz hurt/comfort #angst #hurt/comfort #kpop angst

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garbinge · 3 months

Text

Do What You Gotta Do

Nestor Oceteva x Erin Thomas

Summary: Erin & Nestor through the years.

30 Day Fic Challenge (29/30)

Word Count: 10.5k

A/N: Another Ao3 exchange fic for @drabbles-mc that i never got the chance to post here!

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Mentions of bullying, killing. angsty, not a happy ending, more angst lol.

Mayans Taglist: @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @narcolini @danzer8705 @keyweegirlie @kmc1989

Erin tended to stay confined in her room when her sister and her friends were over. It never used to be that way, when the two of them were younger she often was found right next to her sister or close behind. They were loud, Erin usually being the more lively of the two but the giggles that traveled throughout the halls of the Thomas house were from both of them. The two Thomas sisters were actually inseparable, even throughout Emily’s years of high school. It was a sister bond that couldn’t be swayed the way a friendship could, a sister bond that could withstand the typical disagreements and fights of siblings. A sister bond that could still hold itself close to what it originally and always was. A sister bond that would eventually break when Emily came home on break from college.

Erin was never a fan of Miguel since that day her older sister brought him over to meet the family on that first Thanksgiving break of Emily’s college years. He was arrogant, opinionated, smug and overall just a dickhead as Erin so boldly put it. Which is why whenever Emily had him and his friends over, Erin found herself fully content alone in her room.

Currently, she sat on her bean bag chair with her headphones over her ears, there was a notebook in her hand as she doodled the time away, her legs were probably going to start falling asleep as the minutes passed with them tucked close to her chest and her feet tangled in the depths of the sunken bean bag.

Despite the volume of her music being pretty high, she could still hear the laughs and noises of her sister’s company downstairs. It was normally around the time she’d use the noise as an excuse to get up and stretch her legs and then close the door but she found herself at this moment, doorless. It was an old school punishment but her mother had insisted their housekeeper removed the door of the younger Thomas girl’s bedroom after a pretty heated argument between the two. Privacy was a privilege and privacy is earned. Her mother’s words were so typical of a parent who had lost control of their teenage daughter and was scrambling to try and regain it back.

Erin was feeling the consequences of her loss of privacy when she looked up to see someone in the hallway staring at her. If she didn’t know her sister had people over she probably would have screamed and made some flailing attempt at bum rushing the man in her own defense but she just assumed it was one of Emily or Miguel’s loser friends.

“You’re fuckin’ creepy.” Erin had removed her headphones and readjusted herself to stare back at the kid.

“Sorry.” The man looked flustered and pointed behind him to the balcony and then to the stairs. “I, uh, they told me to leave them alone so I’m kind of just roaming around trying to avoid them.”

Erin frowned now and stood up, she saw the man tense up by her abruptness and while Erin loved to tease people, she ignored the temptation in her to jump scare this random person as she moved to look over the balcony into the living room.

The patio door had been opened and through the big living room window she could see her sister, Miguel, a couple random people and someone who looked just like the man 5 feet from her but with a beard in the pool that was just recently opened for summer. It was slowly coming together for her, all assumptions, but she was pretty firm in her thinking.

A nod shook from her head as she pushed off the railing and moved back into her room, just as she re-entered the bedroom her head looked over her shoulder at the man who was clearly nervous and frozen in the middle of the hallway.

“No invite needed when there’s no door to block you out.” Erin waved her hand in a very over-exaggerated way to invite the man in.

He was still nervous but listened to the girl’s words and stepped into her room, trying to look around at his surroundings but not wanting to be any more intrusive than he had been.

“Privacy is a privilege.” The girl spoke those words in a mocking way as she plopped down on her bed and waved her arms again in an attempt to tell the man he could look around freely.

“Is that why you don’t have a door?” He asked, looking around at the posters taped to the walls.

“I don’t have a door because Diana is a bitch.”

Nestor turned to look at the girl with an inquisitive look.

“My loving and adoring mother.” Erin smiled so sarcastically.

“Erin.” The man pointed to the artwork above where her door should have been, it was a calligraphy artwork of her name, each letter made from a different tropical plant.

“That’s me.” She said grabbing a stuffed animal off her bed to use as a pillow to rest her arms on.

“Nice picture.” The man tried to match Erin’s sarcasm but it definitely needed some work.

“Last thing my dad got me before he left.”

“Left to where?” He asked so nonchalantly and was left shocked by her response.

“Prison.” It was one word but it felt so heavy leaving Erin’s mouth despite her light way of saying it. Her inflection made prison seem like it was stepping out to run an errand but the weight of what she truly said wasn’t lost on him. His head snapped to look at her, surprise all over his face and all Erin did was smile. “So you know all these fun things about me, what about you, mystery man?”

“Mystery man?” His eyes frowned.

“Okay, mystery boy. Puberty looks fresh on you.” Her face was twisted in a devious smile at the comment and her eyes were scanning him up and down.

“I just turned 17.”

Erin knew she struck a cord there. “Attacking your manliness, men are so easy.” She rolled her eyes. “What’s your name, mystery boy?” She continued with her teasing.

He stood there, annoyed slightly debating if he was going to walk out or cave in and give his name. It only took one second for his decision to be made. All it took was for the slightest smirk to flash on Erin’s face for all but a second, it was likely her reading him, realizing he was about to bolt but whatever it was it made him speak immediately.

“Nestor.”

“Sounds like a serial killer's name.” She scoffed and stood up to go by her desk in search of something.

“You’re really rude.” Nestor was again feeling defensive but he had an odd smile on his face.

“Rude or honest?” Erin responded so quickly it made Nestor realize it probably wasn’t the first time she had been accused of being rude. That and she was still rummaging through the things on her desk with no care in the world.

“Here.” She handed him a DVD, Nestor was now realizing this was what she had been searching for the entire time.

“Kill Bill?” Nestor was still so utterly confused by the girl.

“About a killer. Thought you’d like it.” The sarcasm and humor was now dancing with each other as it flew off her tongue.

“She’s technically an assassin.” Nestor was flipping the DVD box over.

“You’ve seen it?” Erin was leaning back against her desk with her arms crossed.

“About a million times. It’s a classic.” He placed the DVD back on her desk when his eyes caught a bunch of different movies scattered around.

“I’m a movie buff.” She shrugged seeing him look over her array of films.

“Classics.” He specified as he noticed the theme to all the disk cases.

“Dying breed.” Erin responded.

“I’ve seen pretty much every one of these at least 3-4 times.” Nestor was still scanning over the different movies. “Except this one.”

“You’re lying.” It was as serious as he had seen Erin since he met her only ten minutes ago. “You’ve never seen Die Hard.” She phrased it as a statement over a question but the way the movie title fell from her lips was like it was a disgrace. “This is like THE classic. I can’t believe you’ve seen The Sound of fucking Music but not Die Hard.” Her voice was full of shock and honestly a little betrayal as she picked up the Sound of Music disk.

“To be fair I haven’t seen The Sound of Music, either.” Nestor shrugged, the odds the girl would pick up one of the few he hadn’t seen didn’t go over his head.

“Whatever, you’re not missing much, I mean Julie Andrews is perfect but it’s singing and nunnery and love. I mean it’s actually great but I can’t believe the serial killer in my room right now has not watched Die Hard.” It was one long-winded sentence and she took a deep breath at the end as she stared at Nestor before jumping into another statement. “You’re coming over Friday. We’re watching Die Hard.” Her head was shaking as she moved back over to her bed and grabbed something from her nightstand.

“You were going to give me Kill Bill to watch on my own.” This was his version of hard to get.

Erin rolled her eyes but it went unnoticed since she was rummaging around her nightstand just to pull out a post-it and start writing on it.

“You get dragged along with your older brother, don’t you?”

Nestor should have been way more aware now to not be shocked by this girl, but he was pretty taken back that she knew.

“How’d you know?”

She turned back around now and looked at him. “If you were friends with them they wouldn’t kick you out. Plus you look like a younger version of the guy that comes with Miguel.”

“Why don’t you hang out with them?” Nestor was genuinely curious.

“Because my older sister kicked me out too.”

“My parents are dead so my brother feels forced to bring me everywhere.”

It was such a heavy statement but said with such ease, very similar to how Erin had told him about her incarcerated father. And Erin got it. She really got it.

Emily and Erin might have had tension between them now that she was getting more involved with Miguel but they both had something that kept them familial. Their parents. Their father was a dark and mysterious man who ended up in prison when they were young and they both equally hated their mother.

With a nod, Erin stood up and stuck the post-it note to Nestor’s chest. He looked down, she wrote on it upside down so he was able to read it immediately.

Movie Night Friday @ 8, bring candy. Tons of it.

“They always get together on Friday Nights here. Ever since school got out for them.” Erin explained.

“So I’ll be here anyway.” He caught on to what she was saying.

“With candy.” Erin interjected.

“With candy.” He laughed and removed the post-it from his chest.

“Nestor!!” A deep voice from downstairs called up interrupting them. “We gotta go!!!”

“I gotta go.” Nestor pointed and began to take steps towards the empty doorway, the smile while faded still filled his face.

Erin smirked, “Do what you gotta do, mystery boy.”

__________

That was all it took. The two 17 year olds became some version of friends as time passed. Honestly, they could have been best friends, but neither of them would have said it out loud. And lucky enough for the both of them, neither Nestor’s brother or Emily cared enough to say anything to them. They probably hadn’t even taken notice enough to even tease them about it.

Erin was passing the bowl of popcorn over to Nestor who was at the opposite side of the couch.

“So you relate to Maria right?” Nestor’s eyes were glued to the TV as his hand extended out to grab the popcorn.

“Are you asking me if I relate to the main character in Sound of fucking Music?” Erin was sprawled on the couch now, her feet taking up a majority of the cushions. She was taking full offense to Nestor's comment and had the tone to prove it.

“I just mean she got sent to this dude’s house because she doesn’t really like rules. Isn’t your mom sending you to that school because you don’t really like rules?” Nestor’s voice still stayed casual despite Erin’s bark.

“We watch these movies because they’re classics not to start a philosophical discussion, blondie.” Erin dismissed him by extending her left foot out and pushing his thigh slightly. The popcorn bowl in his hand spilled out a couple pieces and Nestor let out a laugh at the whole thing.

“I bleached my hair like two weeks ago, when are you going to drop it, red?” Nestor retorted back as he picked up the fallen pieces of popcorn and placed the bowl on the side table next to him.

“Yea, see, Red just doesn’t land the same.” Erin was now crossing her arms and looking over at Nestor. “Plus, you made the impulsive decision to bleach your hair, like, you chose to do whatever that is with your hair,” she pointed to his fried hair which had already grown in his natural roots, “which earns joking rights, I was born with red hair so it just isn’t the same.”

“Julie Andrews has blonde hair.” Nestor pointed to the TV screen.

“Julie Andrews is Julie Andrews.” That was all the explanation Erin needed to use on that argument.

“How is the new school?” Nestor changed subjects.

“Sucks.” It was obvious Erin didn’t want to talk about it.

“Wow it’s like I can envision it with how you describe it.” He wasn’t going to let her dismiss it that easily.

She sarcastically added in an adverb for more detail, “Really sucks.”

“Well now you’re just talking too much.” She had met her match with Nestor.

“Well, we are watching a movie.” The smile on Erin’s face was saying way more than her words ever could. They were saying she felt uncomfortable, that something had to have happened at the school for her to not lay into it in her comedic, sardonic way.

“Why won’t you tell me what happened?”

“Fine you want to know?” Erin was shooting up from her laid back position and now sitting up, her body tense and aggravated. It was like she was a bear and Nestor had done nothing but poke her to irateness. “You really want to know how my new private school is? It’s real swell, we get lockers, mine got vandalized but it’s nothing some nail polish remover and a little elbow grease won’t take care of. The classes are great, learning lots, like how to get kids to stop stealing my stuff or knocking it off my desk.”

It had snapped Erin, the frustration from this last week at her new school was getting hard to cope with and now she was like a floodgate of emotions.

Nestor just sat there, calmly, and listened. When she had taken a moment to breathe deep, he slightly moved forward to pause the movie.

The gesture and the silence that now surrounded them made Erin feel comfortable in some odd way. Comfortable enough to say one more thing.

“They call me Connie.” It was spoken at such a whisper, it was so unlike Erin. Nestor wasn’t even sure if he had ever heard her speak at that volume let alone look the way she looked. She usually took most things with stride, with an attitude and comeback.

“Connie?” Nestor frowned, not only uneasy about her state of being but also confused at the name.

“Short for convict. Apparently everyone figured out my dad’s in prison.”

Now it all came together for Nestor, he knew that could be a tipping point for the girl. She might have been nonchalant in how she talked about it but it didn’t take a genius to realize it was a real weight on her.

“Is that what they wrote on your locker?”

“No, that would’ve been too kind. They drew bars and some shitty version of someone dropping a bar of soap.”

Nestor knew there was nothing he could do, it was a completely different school than where he went and there wasn’t any way he could unenroll her so he did what he did best and just sat and listened to her.

“You wanna finish the movie?” That was Erin’s way of signaling she was done with the conversation. It was Friday night, she wanted a weekend free of school and thoughts of it. Before Nestor could answer he was being interrupted by another voice.

“What are you guys watching?” Miguel had popped into the living room from the kitchen, a fresh beer in his hand as he brought it up to his mouth to drink. His other hand was in his pocket as he stood behind the couch, right in the middle of Erin and Nestor who were still on separate sides of the sofa.

“Hey Mikey.” Nestor nodded to the man.

Erin did all but physically gag as she looked at Miguel. Her eyes rolled, her body language shifted and the attitude was practically dripping off her without a word even being spoken.

“Sound of Music, huh?.” Miguel spotted the DVD case on the coffee table. “Didn’t take either of you as the musical type.”

“It’s a classic.” Erin spoke firmly without even looking at Miguel.

“Ah,” He nodded and took another sip of his beer. “And you’re a fan of the classics aren’t you, Erin?”

“Did you need something, Mike?” Erin snapped her head back to look at the man, the Americanized version of his name slipping off her tongue more harshly than the rest of her sentence.

The smile that grew on his face made her want to grab the popcorn bucket and dump it over his head.

“Actually yea, we were all gonna watch a movie in here, your sister sent me to kick you out. I argued to let you guys be, you seem,” He looked at the large amount of space between you and Nestor and chuckled, “cozy.”

“Erin, out. We’re using the TV.” Emily’s voice came echoing in from the outside patio with a few other mumbles of laughs and conversations behind them.

“We have like 3 TVs in this house, you need this one?” Erin’s voice changed. It wasn’t dripping with the same attitude she had towards Miguel, it was still annoyed, but a lovingly annoyed if that was possible.

“Why don’t you use one of the other TVs.” Emily was barely even paying attention to her sister as she spoke.

“Why don’t you guys do something?” Nestor’s brother was now speaking as he joined Miguel in standing behind the couch. His hand resting on the backrest before he jumped over and plopped down in the middle of the couch. Erin was happy her feet weren’t there any longer because she would have had to jerk them back.

Just as she went to argue, the jingle of metal sounded as Nestor’s brother reached in his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. “Take my car. Scram.” He was throwing them over to Nestor.

“You want to get ice cream?” Nestor asked Erin, not wanting to fight with either Miguel or his brother.

“Foster Freeze.” It was a demand from Erin’s mouth as she stood up and grabbed her stuff off the coffee table and draped her bag over her shoulder.

“Mom’s going to be home at 10. So be home then.” Emily said as she quickly took the spot Erin was in.

“So you kick me out and then give me a curfew?” Erin was turning around with her arms extended out in a version of disbelief.

“For your own good.” Emily acted like she was looking out for her little sister.

“You can lie to yourself but don’t lie to me.” Erin was grabbing her jacket from the closet when the words left her mouth.

Emily had turned on the TV which drowned out the sound of Erin’s voice from her ears. With an eye roll and a heavy stomp of her feet Erin exited the house with a deep exhale, barely missing Nestor’s shoulder with her own. She didn’t want to take her frustration out on him but part of her couldn’t help it when she saw how docile he got around his brother and Miguel.

Silence was at the top of the conversation between Erin and Nestor as they sat across the booth from each other. As each clank of metal utensils hit the glass jars Erin grew more and more annoyed. It felt like her rage was moving a degree up a thermometer with every spoonful of ice cream.

“So you wanna talk about it?” Nestor wasn’t even looking at Erin when the words left his mouth, in fact the words were even muffled as the spoonful of ice cream melted in his mouth.

That broke Erin. Her frustration fully apparent now as she tossed the spoon into her glass causing it to clink around loudly and fall on the table with a couple more loud noises.

“Why the fuck do you suck their dicks like that?”

“Excuse me?” Nestor looked up from his ice cream, frown extremely evident on his face.

“Oh don’t play fuckin’ coy. It doesn’t suit you.” Her back fell against the back of the booth as her arms crossed, her head shook, and her eyes stared off to the side of the shoppe.

“What are you talking about?” Nestor was looking straight at Erin now.

“That shit with them, you act like they’re cool, like–like they’re your friends.” The disgust was evident in her voice.

“I’m pretty sure I said like five words.” Nestor was confused, he had asked Erin if she wanted to talk about it because he thought all her frustration was at Emily not him.

“Hey Mikey.” Erin’s voice got deep as she rocked her shoulders back and forth in an attempt to mock Nestor. If he thought the way she said Mike before was harsh, the addition of the vowel on the end of the man’s nickname in her mockery was ten times that.

“That’s two words.” Nestor was getting annoyed, his leg began shaking as he moved it up and down.

“Yea two words that make me want to throw up–you’re so fucking nice to them, for what?” Erin’s face was twisted in pure confusion. In her head right now there was no explanation that would be worthy to her. She couldn’t stand any one of her sister’s friends, and honestly, her sister was probably top of that list at the moment. Truthfully, all of this anger was a result of pain and hurt. She missed her sister, and blamed the people she hung out with for taking her away. While that did hold some truth, most of Erin’s anger was misplaced there, it really came from her feeling like she was losing everyone around her. She lost her father when he went to jail, her mother shortly after that to her attitude and the bottle, and now her sister.

“They’re all I got.” Nestor’s voice was so much the opposite of Erin’s, his demeanor was calm, solemn, almost peaceful. “When I lost my parents, my brother took me in, he might be a dick sometimes but he’s done everything for me.” He shook his head, “and Mikey, he’s like a brother to me.” A shrug left his shoulders. “I get it, they’re jerks right, but when push came to shove they’d be there for me.”

“You believe that?” Erin still was holding on to whatever parts of her anger that she could even though she sympathized with Nestor, maybe even got a little jealous of the dynamics he shared.

“I know it.” Nestor was firm in his voice, no doubt at all. “It’s the same with you, your sister would do anything for you.”

“I don’t believe that.” Erin rolled her eyes.

“You don’t have to, but it’s the truth.” Nestor scooped the last of his ice cream in his mouth and nodded. “When it comes down to that make or break moment, she’d be there for you.”

Another set of eye rolls came from Erin as she let out a huff. “I don’t have anyone.”

“You have me.” Nestor now leaned back against the booth and crossed his own arms matching Erin’s pose.

Her eyes darted up immediately to meet his. “I don’t believe that.” She repeated the same sentence as before but this time it was said in a way like she wanted him to convince her.

“Well keep up with the crude comments and I don’t know.” He was joking, but before he could double down with another joke his eyes met Erin’s and he knew immediately what she was looking for.

“You got me, you know that, right?”

Erin sat there, there were a bunch of things going through her mind at this point. Her frustration was still lingering. Thoughts of Miguel and Nestor’s brother casually floating around, her sister, the relationship they used to have compared to now, the words Nestor said about Emily, wondering if they really did hold truth. But now, the main thing in her head was that this man, this man who was just some strange boy standing in front of her bedroom door 5 months ago was now telling her he was going to be there for her–no, is there for her. Erin hadn’t trusted a man since her father and despite the love she had for him, he was the reason she couldn’t find it in her to trust anyone. Everyone leaves. It was what she had to tell herself to keep the emotions at bay, control situations, it was why the Emily situation hurt her so much, she trusted her and now felt like she was betraying that trust.

And now, the boy who was telling her that Emily wasn’t betraying her, that when it really came down to it she’d be there, was telling her that he was there.

“I don’t have anyone.” Erin mumbled the words but Nestor heard them perfectly.

“Hey, I’m here.” Nestor was bending his head down to meet Erin’s gaze which had fallen to the floor. His voice was optimistic, it was almost like he didn’t understand the weight of what he was saying, and honestly he didn’t, but it didn’t matter to Erin because in this moment she just needed someone, someone who would be there.

“Okay.” Erin’s voice had completely flipped since the beginning of their conversation. It was soft, shaky, and even a little weepy as a tear fell down her cheek.

Nestor’s hand came out to grab hers and with it came a squeeze. Erin was glad that was all it was because if he had gotten up to hug her it would have released the flood gates entirely and she would be a sobbing mess in the middle of her favorite ice cream place.

“I’m gonna go pay, I’ll be right back, okay?”

Erin had started to pull herself back together, her attitude and normal toned voice coming back along with the tears fully disappeared from her face now as she wiped it clean.

“Yea, do what you gotta do.”

____________

Erin didn’t want to go to prom, it wasn’t exactly her scene. It also wasn’t like she was close friends with anyone at her school, most everyone found their reasons to bully her and make fun of her. All of that gave her one giant reason to say no to going to prom. But then Diana happened to come across the info online. If there was shopping involved, especially for a dress, Diane was in. That didn’t mean Erin wasn’t going to actively and loudly complain about it. Every time they went dress shopping, every fitting, every mention at something to do with prom, Erin let her opinion on it be known. But deep down, she was happy that her mom was forcing her to go, because it brought her and Emily together on something and it was the first time in a long time where the two girls actually enjoyed being together.

The two were laughing, they were whispering and gossiping like middle schoolers, they were causing trouble in stores, having their mother yell at them like they were children again. It made every prom task bearable. Emily had been home for the summer, Miguel had stayed back on campus for an additional month to take a quick summer course. It was what Erin would have described as a dream. Her weeknights were movies with Nestor and ice cream afterwards with Emily. Once or twice the three hung out together, but that basically consisted of Nestor third wheeling all while the young Thomas girl teased him for being so quiet and shy.

The month of May might have become some of Erin’s most treasured days. It didn’t matter that she had to go to prom or that she had to go to that stupid school, she had two of her favorite people to lean on and that was all she needed.

The doorbell rang and it caused a frown to fill Erin’s face as she turned in her floor length royal blue dress that was picked out by her mother. Emily’s face turned into a grin as she moved to the door, resting her digital camera to the side for the first time since her little sister had entered the living room. It didn’t matter that Emily was the one who was upstairs with Erin for hours getting her ready and was able to take all of this in then, she needed to document as much of this moment as possible.

“Who is that?” Diana looked visibly annoyed. The audacity of someone interrupting her special night.

As Emily approached with someone very closely behind her, she stepped aside as the hallway ended and the living room began and swiftly moved to the right. With eagerness in her voice, and a smile that easily reached from ear to ear, she introduced the person who was walking in behind her.

“Look who’s here! It’s Nestor!”

Erin’s face was shocked, not because he was here and seeing her in this ridiculous prom dress but because he was standing 5 feet from her, in a suit. His hair was freshly shaped up on the sides and gelled curls sitting on the top, as Erin’s eyes moved down, she saw his black skinny tie tucked behind the lapels of his black suit jacket, all accented against the crisp white button up. Her gaze moved over to his left where his pocket sat. Within it was a rich blue handkerchief sticking out where a matching boutonniere was clipped on. The deep blue flower and baby’s breath didn’t just match her dress with the perfect royal hue but it was paired with the corsage he was fiddling with in his hands.

That’s when a small smile tugged at her face. As she stared at the corsage in his hands, she saw the rings still on his hands, one his brother had gifted him for his birthday, and the other that he had always sported since she met him. Taking in this completely new Nestor felt a lot easier seeing those rings.

“What are you doing here?” Erin’s voice was a whisper and despite her excitement peaking through slightly, there was still some confusion in her tone.

“I, uh, asked him to be your date tonight.” Emily had her mouth closed but she was smiling as she said it, her eyes bouncing from her sister and the man to her left.

“Oh shoot!” Emily gasped. “I should have taken a picture of your reaction, can you make the face again, reenact it, oh my gosh, look it’s Nestor in a suit!” Emily tried to mimic her words from before while adding in some description for context of what she was looking for from Erin. But before she could even bring the camera up to her face to look through the viewfinder, there was a nagging voice interrupting.

“Emily, you didn’t match the colors. If you were going to do this little surprise for your sister, the least you could have done was put a little effort into getting them to look like dates.” Diana’s whining voice filled the air.

“Mom, can you just relax, enjoy the moment.” Emily was moving over to her mother to ease the tension she was inevitably bringing to the room. “Nestor, go over by Erin, let us take a few pictures so you both can get out of here.” Emily’s eyes rolled to look over at her mother and then quickly changed to look through her camera, ready to snap a few pictures and push the two out.

The minute Erin closed the car door she was turning to look at Nestor. “What the hell are you doing?

“Going to prom.” Nestor shrugged as he leaned forward to turn the key into the ignition.

“Yea, but why?” Erin looked around to realize that this was his brother’s car, his prize possession. “And why are we in your brother's car?”

“Your sister asked. Plus, I figured you could use some friendly company tonight.” It was said so nonchalantly.

“And the car?” Erin accepted his statement about coming with her to prom and was waiting for the answer to her last question.

“The car,” his grin grew wide, “the car, I stole from my brother.” Nestor began to drive out of the Thomas’ driveway. His left hand was tight on the wheel and his right was resting comfortably on the middle console as the 91 Nissan coasted on the neighborhood streets of Santo Padre.

“He’s gonna kill you.” Erin matched his grin and fell back comfortably in the seat.

“Worth it.” A shrug fell from Nestor’s shoulders before he turned right to get on the main highway. “I know how much you love this car, it’s the one thing about my brother that doesn’t make you mumble under your breath or roll your eyes.” Nestor knew Erin so well. “If anything,” he pointed with his right hand while still staring out the windshield, “you actually stare mesmerized at this thing whenever he pulls up in it.”

“It’s cool.” Her shoulders lifted up and fell quickly trying to seem as indifferent as possible. “Plus,” she quickly added another statement in her own defense, “it's purple, who doesn’t stare at a purple car.”

Nestor nodded, he wasn’t going to argue with the girl, especially not on her prom night. Instead he just looked at how empty the highway was, then a thought popped into his brain. It took him a minute to decide if it was a good idea but ultimately he thought ‘what did he have to lose’? His foot pressed against the gas, his eyes quickly glancing over to see the pure joy on Erin’s face as the odometer kept increasing as they made their way to her school.

___________

Prom was uneventful, but if Erin was honest she was beyond grateful Nestor was there with her. It made the night not just bearable but maybe even a little enjoyable.

Currently the two were leaving the photo booth, full of laughs. ‘The fun flask’, as Erin referred to it, was on its last leg. There was maybe 4 shots left in it which would likely not be evenly distributed between them both.

“You wanna dance?” Nestor’s hand on Erin’s back as he guided her out of the booth didn’t go unnoticed by the girl.

“You’re drunk.” She accused him with a quick whip of her neck to stare at him shocked by his words.

“No, but you are. You’ve been sipping way more from that flask than I have.” Nestor pointed out.

Erin’s eyes moved from Nestor to the dance floor to see the big crowd of people on the wooden tiles. “If I’m drunk, I don’t know how smart hitting the dance floor’s gonna be, Nes.” Erin’s eyebrows lifted up as he head tilted.

“What’d I tell you? I got you.” His hand tightened on her back and before she could answer her feet were moving her closer to the crowd.

The song slowed down, offering them up a moment to take things easy as they swayed back and forth. Nestor’s hands were comfortably resting on Nestor’s back, her long red hair brushing against them as the slight breeze from their side by side movements. Nestor wasn’t drunk, but those couple shots he did take earlier in the night were giving him the liquid courage to have his fingers playing around in the ends of it.

And Erin was drunk enough to not only let it happen but mention it.

“You’re handsy tonight.” She beamed as she said it.

“So are you.” Nestor looked down to where her arms rested on his shoulders, her hands were twisted over each other behind his neck and mindlessly playing with the curls of his she could reach.

“You know, between you and the fun flask, this night went from bearable to maybe a little enjoyable, to one of the best nights I’ve had in a really long time.”

It was one of the handful of times Erin had said something that wasn’t tainted in sarcasm or a joke. Any one of those attributes that while Nestor had a secret appreciation for, he couldn’t help but also love these rare intimate moments with the girl.

“I’m glad I came.” Nestor held his composure as he always did, despite feeling the nerves and sweat all as his heartbeat sped up.

Subconsciously the two moved closer together, their bodies resting against each other, their foreheads centimeters from touching. Nestor’s left hand moved up to grab Erin’s right. His hand first caressed up to her arm, it was light and made Erin’s heart flutter, but then when it rested as a soft grip on her hand her heart started to beat heavy. She suddenly became super aware of how close the two were to each other. Every thought running through her mind at light speed. The endless nights the two had spent together but not one where they were remotely this close, or looked this good. The laughs were nothing compared to the giggles the two shared tonight. Erin never realized any of this before, and if she did she made damn sure to bury it deep without giving it a single thought. Nestor on the other hand, realized it every time he looked at her, every time she spoke, yelled, rolled her eyes. From the moment he saw her, Nestor knew he had feelings for her. But he never could find it in him to act on it.

It’s why now he couldn’t either.

“I have to tell you something.” The words were drowned out by the crowd and music, so when Erin had replied “what?” it was in hopes Nestor would repeat the sentence but instead he just shared the news and to his luck the DJ had just began to fade out the song.

“I joined the Navy, I leave on the first day of summer.”

Erin felt everything in her freeze, but that was after everything dropped. Her heart fell to her stomach, her stomach fell to the floor it felt like and then everything just froze. She thought it was like 10 minutes of her just standing there, but it was barely 10 seconds.

“Wow–uh,–well, we know blue is your color.” Erin’s eyes moved to the boutonniere and her hands loosened slightly from behind his neck but didn’t fall completely.

“Are you mad?” The worry in Nestor’s face did something to Erin. It made everything that she wanted to do just mere seconds ago disappear. The sarcasm was rising back up, her coping mechanism to this exact thing falling into all the right places. But instead of being mean about it, she took her acerbity and decided to joke.

“Not mad, G.I. Joe. Confused how you’re going to make it out at sea when you couldn’t even swim in a pool after watching Jaws.”

“I told you that happened when I was a kid, I was like 10.” Nestor defended himself.

“When we rewatched it I saw how you looked at our pool the next day. Looking for fins and ghosts of marine biologists.”

“I’m glad you’re not mad, I thought you’d be mad.”

If he says mad one more time I’m going to rage. Was the thought in her head but the words that came out were ones of opposition. “Nope, not mad.

“I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.” Nestor smiled, the irony that he was removing her hands from around his neck in the moment he said that. “I gotta take a piss, I’ll be right back, okay?” He squeezed her hands before dropping them and walking away before he could hear the girl’s answer.

Erin stood there, alone, watching Nestor walk away as every emotion she tried so hard to bury for years came barreling to the forefront and just let out a murmur.

“Yea, do what you gotta do.”

__________

The time passed differently when there was a countdown attached to it. There was always a weight hanging over each day, pressure to make the most out of what was left. Each day that the sun stayed out a little longer meant a little less time that was left Nestor went away to boot camp. It was ironic how the days were getting longer but it was just a sign that they were running out.

“Last night home.” Erin plopped down next to Nestor who was sitting on a park bench as the festival that always kicked off the day before summer started commenced in front of them. Erin was holding out a corn dog for Nestor while she started to eat hers.

“I don’t know why you like these things.” He spoke completely ignoring her comment and going to take a bite from the corndog before he took it out of her hand.

“Yet you still eat them.” Erin’s mouth was full as she spoke with a shoulder raise and head shake in disbelief at the words coming out of his mouth.

“It’s like they’re so bad that they’re good.” He explained.

It got quiet between the two as they ate, a comfortable silence as the noises of the festival around them filled the air. Laughs from children chasing each other on the concrete street that was blocked off from cars and littered with food trucks and stands selling things. Music from a live band just a few 100 feet to their left near the park’s lake. The white noise from the bouncy houses that were behind them set up on the large fields of grass.

“Remember this festival last year?” Erin changed topics as she dipped half of her corn dog in cheese.

As she did it, Nestor looked over and realized what she was doing and quickly dipped his own food into the small cheese cup in Erin’s hand.

“Yea, you threw up the 5 corndogs you ate.” Nestor let out a laugh.

“It was 7,” she clarified, those extra two corn dogs might not have mattered to anyone else but to her they were the culprits of what pushed her to get sick, “but I meant the movie.”

“Sound of Music.” Nestor’s voice had a smile in it, almost like he knew what Erin was going to say next.

“The unfinished movie.” There was a bit of disappointment in her voice.

“They might be playing it tonight.” Hopeful, that was the best way to describe how he was speaking to Erin.

“They aren’t. I checked.” Erin let out a sigh as she fell back against the rest of the bench.

“You want to head to your place? We could watch it there.”

It was obvious, the tension in the air. It all came down to these last few hours. Erin wanted to say yes, she wanted to share the full list of things she had started on prom night. She wanted to grab him by his stupid band t-shirt and pull his face to her own, she wanted to tell him how she felt, every thought that she had regarding him. She wanted to tell him not to go, not to leave. But instead nothing of that sort came out.

“No, it’s okay. Let’s just walk around.” Erin shook her head and immediately was standing up so that there was no room for arguments. She was probably two or three feet away when she turned to the man and nodded her head to the side, pointing to the large area of the park that was blocked off with fair games and prizes. “Let’s see who can beat who in the water gun race, we can call it your first bootcamp training.”

Nestor looked down, his arm was extended on the back rest of the bench as he let out a laugh. “You’re on.”

______

If Erin thought the weight of the days prior felt heavy, this morning made it look like the force of a feather. It took everything in her to get out of bed, to get dressed. It didn’t help that saying goodbye felt nothing like their normal days. Despite the obviousness of it all, it was the surrounding of people Erin couldn’t stand. People who wouldn’t miss him the way she would, some who would but in their own way. Erin stood behind Miguel and the other Oceteva. Emily was there too, along with a few of their other friends. Most of them standing ahead of Erin, giving handshakes and pep talks mixed with hugs and laughs. Erin felt like a stranger, like an outsider. It was a feeling she’d have to get used to, she was about to be alone again. She hated comparing the two, but it reminded her heavily about her father. Erin couldn’t help but think that she was just meant to be in this world solo, no friends, no one close, just her against life.

It wouldn’t be the worst thing, but after experiencing loss time and time again, Erin couldn’t help but feel she just made it worse on herself.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the sun suddenly stopped shining on her face and it was just a dark shadow in replacement of it. Looking up she saw Nestor, in his boot camp uniform, his hair freshly cut, likely by his brother this morning. He looked nothing like the man she knew, which she thought would make this easier but it made it even harder.

“So I guess, this is it.” Erin held her hand up in an effort to block the sun from hitting her eyes but it was just a displacement behavior to hide her face from Nestor and hopefully manage any emotion that was building up.

“I’m gonna write, you know.” Nestor had his typical young-teen jokey tone of voice behind the little chuckle that came out.

He didn’t realize it at first but it doubled down on everything to Erin. She didn’t feel seen, or understood, if anything it made her think that everything she was feeling was invalid or overexaggerated.

The pain became so evident in Erin’s eyes that no sunglasses, hand over the forehead, or shadow could hide it.

“Hey, I’m serious.” His voice turned earnest. Before any other words could be spoken, Nestor quickly grabbed the girl and brought her against his chest in an embrace. His hands were resting over her shoulders and his head just over her own. Nestor would have never admitted it to anyone but he never thought the smell of shampoo would break his heart the way it was now as he took a harsh inhale as the two teenagers hugged. “I get visitor days, too. I’ll let you know when they are, it’s gonna fly by. I’ll be home before you know it.”

Erin immediately thought about time and how quick the days from prom to now went, how she blinked and the moment arrived and for a minute felt optimistic. Until, she remembered how time worked. Time changed things, time passed slowly when inconvenient and fast when you wanted a moment to savor it. Time rarely worked out in anyone’s favor, and time never worked in Erin’s. She flashed back to saying goodbye to her father, how she expected her weekends to be in a prison parloir amongst people just like her waiting to talk to their convicted love ones but that never happen. Erin was taken off the list and never heard from the man again. She wanted to threaten Nestor, tell him that he had to write, that he had to reach out but it wasn’t her. To be honest, the part of her that knew how to guard herself from pain and hurt started coming out the minute Nestor had told her about joining the Navy and right now was the moment all that progress was going to break or become as solid as a concrete wall.

“Plus, we still have to finish Sound of Music, so obviously I’ll be home soon so we can do that.” Nestor was getting nervous by the girl’s lack of words, it wasn’t like Erin to go silent like this. He’d take any type of response from her, even a sarcastic one. Anything was better than the silence. So he thought.

“Alright, sailor.” Erin was pulling away from the hug but to Nestor it felt more like she was pushing him away. “Don’t all stand on the same side of the ship.” Erin let out a sarcastic joke that normally Nestor would have rolled his eyes at or even responded too but the words gutted him. He didn’t want a sarcastic response, he wanted something deep and real from the girl. It’s when he finally realized what Erin could’ve been feeling.

“You know you still got me, right? I’m not leaving you, I’m–”

“Doing what you gotta do.” Erin’s arms were coming to rub up and down on Nestor’s arm. It was a gesture to ease him but nothing in this moment was going to make either of them feel comfortable.

All Nestor did was nod in response. Erin gave a half smile and squeezed his arm one last time to say goodbye. His brother had honked the horn and yelled out that they needed to go to stay on time. Erin knew there were a few more people who needed to offer their send offs so instead of Nestor leaving her, she pushed him away and let that concrete wall in her heart stand strong and tall.

“Alright sailor, go do what you gotta do.”

_______________

One letter. No visits. Eight years.

It was about one month in when Erin received the letter from Nestor. It had been following the 3 she sent on her own. The first two were nonsensical, filling him in on silly things like town happenings, new movies, what’s been going on with her family. When she didn’t get a reply she just figured there were rules for the new trainees, they probably had limits and needed to build a tolerance and understanding to being separated from home for periods of time. But when Emily had come home and told Erin that Nestor’s brother had passed away, Erin didn’t care about Navy rules. That’s what the third letter was, it was a beautifully written note of her condolences, her sorrows, and her love and pain for Nestor, despite her opinion on the older Oceteva, she was fully aware of the bond they shared and how this would affect Nestor especially after losing his parents.

When she got his letter back, she knew it was going to be filled with pain and sadness, but she didn’t expect it to be towards her. She read it over and over again, to make sure she was understanding the words correctly. It was a form of torture reading that letter again and again. The coldness in Nestor, the lack of depth in his words, the inadequate reasonings as to why he was doing this.

After boot camp I’m deploying for 3 cycles. Not coming home anytime soon. Writing to let you know that you should stop. Stop sending letters, stop reaching out, stop thinking about me completely.

-Oceteva

After the first day of rereading it came the second. On that second day she only read it once before she set it to flames along with any other mental attachment she had to Nestor. Her pain took her so far that she left Santo Padre on the third day and never looked back.

But here she was eight years later. Back in her hometown but a completely different person. One of ferocity and of independence. She was a person who didn’t take shit from anyone, opinionated and never stifled. It was honestly a lot of her traits from a teenager but heightened, pulled more to the forefront. She never stayed in one place or held onto a relationship for too long, either. She was truly a wildcard.

Currently she was holding up the rocker sign to the security camera that sat in the entrance of her older sister’s house. She didn’t exactly want to be there, but when Miguel called her while she could easily say no to him, she couldn’t say no to Emily. And the way he described it, Emily needed help.

Erin sat on the couch, feeling the weight of their conversation.

“I do always disappear because I hate this fucking town. I never loved it like you do.” Erin was visibly stressed as she spoke to her sister.

“I know but it’s where we grew up. So all our memories are here.” Emily had a definiteness to her words.

“Mm-hmm. Yeah.” Erin crossed her arms and looked up at Emily, a sense of power in her stare. “That’s the problem.” A sarcastic smile filled her face for the briefest second before it fell into a straight face. “I thought you out of all people would understand.” Erin pushed off the kitchen island and crossed her arms.

“Understand what?” Emily was frowning as she brought her espresso cup up to her mouth.

“How often do you see EZ, Em? Must be tough living in this small town running into your teenage sweetheart. The pride of Santo Padre.” Erin was purposely choosing words that would sting and felt emotionally heavy in hopes Emily would get what she was saying without having to say what she actually meant out loud.

The look on Emily’s face gave it away. It was a mix of feeling sick at the mention of EZ, since he went away and Emily went to college it was never brought up again, never talked about between the sisters. It didn’t help that the two didn’t exactly have the bond they used to but it was likely that even if they did Emily would have never brought it up.

“I didn’t realize–” Emily shook her head looking for the right words to say, “you left so soon after he did that I just–” she stopped that sentence and started a new one realizing that thought wasn’t what should have been the sentiment shared to her little sister in this moment. “I’m sorry I didn’t realize.”

That wasn’t exactly the most comforting response either but it was better than rehashing the details.

“All good. We all got our own lives to live, shit to do. Obligations.” That last word was said with such grit and harshness, a repetition of something Emily had used earlier in her argument with Erin to get a leg up on her and belittle her little sister but now was coming back to bite her.

“Make yourself at home, Miguel is out on a work thing and I’m about to head out, we’re still in the process of unpacking so it’s kind of crazy.” Emily changed the subject and took a deep inhale as a way to clear the air from their discussion.

“You got doors on your bedrooms so it’s automatically better than the last house I lived at in Santo Padre.” Erin smirked, a smile where her teeth didn’t show and her cheeks barely raised. It was a smile that would have earned her a slap across the face from her mother but from Emily it just earned her the same smile back as she walked away.

Which is what lead Erin to be sitting on the couch, her arm over her forehead with her eyes shut wishing she was anywhere but here. She shot up quickly though at the sound of a door closing, not sure who it could be if Miguel and Emily were out, she knew her sister had hired help around the house with cleaning and that Miguel had security so it was extremely likely to be someone of that nature but it didn’t stop her from being curious.

As she stood up she peaked into the kitchen where she saw the fridge door open and a pair of slacks and dress shoes. The top half of the person was covered by the door but she assumed by the looks of it, it was a security person.

“Just announcing my presence, don’t want to be shot or anything, I’m Emily’s sister, gonna be here for a while.”

A hand rested on the door of the fridge now it stayed there for 10 seconds before it closed revealing the person in entirety.

Erin recognized him immediately, eight years of differences but she could see right through them. After looking at everything that was the same, she took in what was different. He was more built now, he always had a broad chest but now it was more defined. His hair was in two french braids but you could see the curls peeking out through his baby hairs. As her eyes moved down she saw him wearing a button up dress shirt, anyone else could have overseen the purple color to it, but it was a perfect match to what the eldest Oceteva brother drove when they were in high school.

“What are you doing here?” Nestor’s voice was shaky as he spoke.

Erin let out a scoff. “What am I doing here? It’s my sister's house. What are you doing here?” Her eyes looked down to the holsters across his arms, the guns snuggled tightly in their respective places and it hit her. “Holy shit, you work for him.”

Immediately, she thought about all the things she was going to say to her sister for not warning her, for not giving her the heads up, especially after the things they talked about. It might not have been direct, but Erin knew Emily understood the weight of everything she was saying and she was definitely going to ring her sister out.

Nestor just stood there, not sure what to say.

“You know, I pictured this, running into you back home, the part of me that still romanticizes shit thought maybe it’d be at the day before summer festival, Sound of Music on that stupid blow up projector. I thought you’d apologize, tell me what the fuck happened in that thick ass skull of yours five years ago. And even if nothing came out of it, we’d have some type of fucking closure, some answers.”

“Erin.” Nestor spoke like he was going to take a step forward but he was still frozen in place.

“You’re just as much of the mystery man you were when I first met you. Serial killer and all.” She pointed at the guns on his side, a smile on her face but it was one of full shock and heartbreak.

“I pushed you away because it was the best thing.” It was the first real thing Nestor had said since the two were sharing space in the kitchen.

“And this?” Erin waved her hands in reference to the house around her. “Is this the best thing?” Her hand moved to her head as if a headache was onsetting which wouldn’t have been much of a surprise based on the situation going on right now. “For fucks sake, Nestor. We used to make fun of these guys, we used to shit on them, we hated them.”

“I never hated them. I told you. I told you Mikey was like a brother to me.” There he was the young vocal Nestor that only Erin and a good amount of alcohol could bring out these days.

“So you decide to come and do his dirty work, be his little bitch?” Erin wasn’t going to hold back now. “Real brotherly. Would a brother take your life from you, what kind of fucking life is this Nestor?”

“One with purpose.” He responded so quickly like it was an automated response, like he was on a job interview or was given a script.

Erin let out a laugh. “And to think I loved you.” Her eyes were wide at the statement, it was something she never said out loud before, she thought it, but never spoke it. But that wasn’t why her eyes were wide, it was the shock of whatever was unfolding in front of her.

At the mention of love, Nestor went soft. His eyes softened. Yet another way the two were on completely different pages, completely different wavelengths.

“Er.”

“Don’t worry about it, Nes,” Erin retorted with her own nickname. “We just became the people we were meant to be.” Erin shrugged and made her way toward Nestor. The two were now inches from one another like they were the last time they saw each other, except now Erin wasn’t going to hide any of her emotion, she wasn’t going to bite back any anger.

“I’m not planning on being here long. Got a disappearing act to keep up with. Wouldn’t want to drop any stars on Yelp, you know. Erin the wild, in your city one day and out the next. Guess I have you and my dear old dad to thank for that.”

“Erin.” Nestor whispered her full name and went to move so he could try and grab her hands but she pulled them away like she was near a hot stove. Her hand gravitated to his shoulder and patted it in such a sarcastic manner, the attitude dripping off every syllable she spoke before pushing past him and leaving him alone in the kitchen.

“You do what you gotta do, Nestor. Like you always have.”

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